S5 Ep32: Happy People Are Annoying with Josh Peck: Friday, March 18th, 2022

Welcome.

No, oh my god, sorry.

Good morning, millennials.

I'm so sorry.

I've been doing the show by myself for five days and I'm short-circuiting.

Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the morning toast.

Happy Friday, as Rebecca Black would say.

Hope everyone had a great week.

I'm so excited for today's show because we are joined by someone who's been on my mind for the last week because I have been reading his memoir non-stop.

And it is really been a life-changing week for me.

And I'm so do you feel weird sitting here, like knowing how much I know about you?

I prefer it.

Yeah, no, okay.

I definitely went on, not to make everything about me.

Please do.

But when I was doing podcasts, like for my book, I felt weird because I was like really personal in the book.

And you went like above and beyond.

Sure.

So now you're doing interviews.

Of course, not everyone reads the book.

And I've been watching some of your podcasts, knowing some people didn't read the book.

Yes.

And it feels like uncomfortable because it's like a diary almost.

Like you really go hard in this book.

I didn't.

feel that raw and transparent when I was writing it, but since I've sort of put it out into the world, I was like, oh God.

feel naked.

It's very exposing.

And, you know, I feel like a lot of toasters can probably relate to this, like, people who grew up with you.

And then in different iterations of our life, like, you've always been woven in and out of our lives.

Like, in the Vine era, you were like a huge part of our lives.

For those of us who are invested in popular culture, which if you're listening to this podcast, you obviously were.

Come on.

And now, with like all these TV shows, and I just, I love the book so much.

And we're going to do a whole segment on it.

You are going to host with me.

We're going to get your take on what's going on in the world.

But I just have to congratulate you.

Like, I loved it so much.

And it was long, not page-wise, but your font was kind of small.

So like, I feel like your book actually could have been double the amount of pages if your font was bigger.

Is that better?

If it was like the size of a Harry Potter book?

Well, so the thing is, like, I have this thing, like, I can't watch long movies and I can't read long books.

Like, I just, I have no patience for it.

But I enjoyed your book so much, even though I thought it was kind of long.

I'm honored.

I, you know, I know you are Randy Reader over there.

I always see you on your IG stories.

You've got your Kindle on vacation.

Who reads on vacation?

It's like the the only place to read.

I guess, yeah.

Where else?

If you're going to read, you know, what movie?

If you had to read a book, what are you going to do?

Read it when you're like babysitting your son or when you're on the beach.

It's true.

That's probably like the proper environment.

You know, I'm like a man of the people.

I think people are reading on the train and whatnot.

Oh, I guess, yes, yes.

I don't have a commute because I live right here.

So I guess that's fair.

Are you a big pop culture girly?

Yeah, I think so.

I mean, I like the things.

And I'm married to a secret pop culture lover.

My wife

tries to front like she's above it.

She loves the housewife.

She loves her things.

Do you pretend to hate it and then like watch over her shoulder?

No, I'm down to clown.

There was a time like in 2017, 2018 where we had our Shas of Sunset, Vanderpump Rules, like Jersey Shore.

So good.

And it just felt like it really bonded us as a couple.

It was the golden era of reality television, the Jersey Shore years, more specifically.

You know, I'm friends with Kirsten Doty from Vanderpung.

Oh, my God, you are?

So am I.

I literally love her.

She's as good as it gets.

She's She's a unique individual.

Isn't it just odd when you're around these people that you've watched?

And it's odd to like talk about them and then like see them in social settings.

It's like awkward.

Yeah, it's and also I'm like, do I, like, what do I bring up to you?

Do I bring up the show?

Like, you don't want to be a fan, but like you are.

It's so, I remember when I met, like, because I'm a die-hard Howard Stern fan forever.

And you don't know what's shtick and what's, and I think I've told this story before.

So when I was doing that show, Grandfathered with John Samos, and I played his son, and I wish I could teleport and tell chubby 13-year-old Josh that one day.

You would be a kin to Josh, John Samos.

It would have made my bar mitzvah way better.

That could have been your theme.

What was your bar mitzvah theme?

Yeah, rough.

It was Broadway.

Broadway.

By the way, that was my mom.

My mom forced that on me.

Okay, so we, like years ago, we did a whole Patreon episode, podcast about like bot mitzvahs and Jewish culture.

And I had like trauma with my bot mitzvah theme because I had absolutely no choice.

Like it was just chosen for me by like the planner and all the adults involved.

My mom was very into it.

And I

was like, I had so much shame associated with it.

Like, I don't even want to tell you what it was.

Come on.

Because for those who have never been or experienced Bart Mitzvah, like

themes need to be very specific.

She agreed.

Broadway is extremely specific.

Most kids, the most popular ones are like, you know, Josh's candy bar or, you know, baseball, like something the kid loves.

And so mine, I like, don't even want to say it.

But you can find out now at the $10 level of Patreon.

Actually, it's $7.99.

Mine was

colors,

which is just like vague.

I guess I didn't realize at the time, like, it was like rainbow-themed, which I guess just meant I was like an ally in training because I didn't really do it on purpose.

And now I look back thinking it was very kizzled since I consider myself a great ally of the LGBTQ community.

Yes, but like, it was like color me Claudia, which I just isn't a theme.

That's just such a like 50s party planning, like Jewish.

She lives on Long Island.

She's like, I know what she'll love.

Colors.

Like just not a lot of thought there.

Did you get bullied a lot in school?

I did.

For your weight?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

But not for loving Broadway and being an actor.

I mean, the actor thing was kind of like the Broadway thing was sort of pushed on me because my mom was like such a musical theater person and I was like sitcoms like Family Madders, Full House, and you know, Adam Sandler movies.

So the acting thing was kind of cool.

Yeah.

That, you know, they were like, oh, we saw you in a toy commercial the other day.

But, but for being overweight, yeah, I mean, it was instant.

I mean, it was almost like I would notice people would have like a knee-jerk reaction.

Like, I would see something flash in their eyes, and I'd be like, here it comes.

Yeah.

Like, they could almost couldn't hold themselves back.

Right, right, right.

I think people, tell me what you think.

I think people have this like subconscious, weird thing of like, maybe if I shame him, he'll do something about it I think when it comes to kids and you talked a lot in the book about how like at a very young age you were like 290 pounds yeah and I think when it comes to kids adults are so nasty but they really come at it with good intentions like thinking they're being helpful like maybe he doesn't know he's fat

but like you obviously do uh yeah I'm I'm I'm in the dog section of Macy's it's called huskies okay I can't get away from it but I do have to say I think you wrote about the fat experience like perfectly Like because unless you've really experienced it, like you'll never forget the first time you heard someone call you fat, whether or not they meant for you to hear it or not.

Like I thought the way you wrote about it was so poignant and as someone who's experienced it, like I just loved it because you put it into words better than anyone ever could.

I so appreciate that.

And I was really careful and I made sure to like, my wife was so helpful with that section because she just was like, you have to walk this fine line because things are better today.

Yeah.

And they should be.

Yes.

Well, you know, I mean, okay, we're going to dive in, but I had one question that I wanted to ask you, which now seems like a good time to bring it up.

When you talked about your weight loss, and I was really interested to open the book and find the magic secret to losing weight, and there wasn't one.

It was just hard work, which was really disappointing.

I know.

It's really upsetting.

Incredibly upsetting too.

Don't buy the book.

It's useless.

But I found in the chapters where you were talking about like your decision to lose weight, I felt like you were defending that choice a lot because we like like in some way I think you felt writing about wanting to lose weight whether it was for your mental health your physical health was like offensive to some people.

And you were kind of defending that against the body positivity movement.

Like you can't be body positive if you want to lose weight.

Right.

Did you do that intentionally?

Well, I just think I was walking these, I'm just so naturally, I'm constantly taking the piss out of myself.

It's just always been my defense mechanism, like I'll make fun of myself first.

Of course.

And it also was,

you know, it became this thing where it felt so damn public that if I didn't lean into it, it would look like I was avoiding it and scared of it.

So I wanted wanted to make sure that I'm I truly am at 35 at least as much as I think over it in a good way.

Good, good, good.

I mean, I've been this weight since I was 19.

Right, it sticks with you, even if it doesn't physically stick with you.

Totally.

But I did want to honor that thing, which was like...

Body positivity, all these things that have happened over the last 20 years is so good and right.

And I do want to honor that because like I talk about growing up, you tell me, I would see other boys who were like 12, 13 and were overweight.

They'd whip their shirt off at school.

Cannonball.

Live freely and i'd be like that's superhero yeah i completely agree like how are you not worried right how are you not self-conscious and i'm like in a thermal and a t-shirt like you know waddling in the three-foot section so i i wanted to make sure that i like i wanted to talk honestly about my experience while also like not being totally a jerk to myself because i knew it could affect people and also tone deaf because we do live in like a new society that didn't exist when you were on drake and josh and you were yeah there was no body positivity then no not at all yeah um okay so we're gonna do a whole segment on the book I have literally so many questions.

But before that, let's dive into the fast five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

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All right, Josh, let's dive in.

I would love to hear your takes.

When I asked you this morning, like, what you're particularly interested in in pop culture, you said Pete Kanye is always, you know, something something you could talk about.

Always good.

And I'm sorry, like we, we, every single day on this podcast, we have talked about.

It just keeps happening.

Yeah, there's something new.

And I'm sorry, but like this is a show where we talk about what's going on in the world.

And what's going on in the world is that a lot of people have signed a petition to drop Kanye West as the Coachella headliner.

So his latest antics have prompted critics to call on Coachella.

to drop the rapper as one of the music festival's 2022 headlines under the alias kim pete who that's who started um someone launched a change.org petition saying that the organizers of coachella should be ashamed of themselves for giving West any more of a platform to spew hatred towards his ex-wife Kim Kardashian and her new boyfriend, Pete Davidson.

Now, there have been 5,402 people who have signed this, which is not nothing, but it's not like...

It's like a life-changing petition.

I like how the page six is like so dramatic, you know?

It's not a movement quite yet.

I want to start a petition and just cancel Coachella.

You know what?

I don't like completely agreed.

I don't like forced fun.

I don't like that.

I want to eat these Fakakta outfits.

Agreed.

And you know what?

The food trucks, they're never as good as they say they're going to be.

The lines for the food, out of control.

It's enough already.

Have you been?

I've never been as a silent protest.

So you're canceling something you've never even been to?

I, you know, growing up, because I moved to LA when I was 14.

So at that time, like, Coachella was, and I hate to be that old guy, but like, it just seemed cooler.

It wasn't so Instagrammable.

There was no Instagram.

Yeah.

But they would still have like these incredible headliners every year.

Right.

And now it's just become it's it's bigger than the music.

It's not even about the music.

It's crazy.

Right.

It's as someone who's been twice, I can tell you it's, and just I want to put myself in defense mode.

Both times I was paid to be there or else I would never have gone.

Good for you.

It was like, okay, I'm not going to lie.

Like I had preconceived notions and the first time I went, I was like, this is amazing.

Like

it was like really fun.

But then the second time, I was like, I can't believe people do this for fun.

And people like spend money.

Like, I've been having to stagecoach.

Yes.

No, but my, I've not been, but my wife, they love it.

It's a life-changing weekend.

You're a country queen, and I'm here for it.

If there's one thing you should know about me, it's like I'm a honky-tonk queen.

Like, you can find me on Broadway in Nashville at any time.

That's so funny because you are the hardest core, like, beautiful Jewish New Yorker I've ever met.

It's a unique crossover.

And, like, I've been listening to, country's becoming cool now, but like, I was listening to like Fly Over States by Jason Aldeen in the ninth grade.

Like, it's not it's not a front you know this is who i am do you feel a connection to the the message like of heartbreak like what is it

no and you know this because i've been with ben since i was 18 it's not really that i think i'm just like a

how do i put this i value

no

i like good music Okay, okay.

And I do find that in, you know, certain pop songs and certain genres, I just don't feel like they're good.

It's really as simple as that.

And if you go to a country concert and you don't even like country music, but you can appreciate, you know, good music, good, you know, guitar playing, it's like, it's very, it's, to me, it's just like a lot of talent in a country music band, you know?

It's not like the click of a button, which it does take a lot of talent.

I'm not, you know, dissing DJs.

I'm just saying.

We love you, Dead Mouse.

We do.

We're good with you, Diplo.

But it's like...

Real musical talent, in my opinion.

I know, and but isn't it fascinating?

I find, and this with my wife's family, too, like, if you're a country person and you get into a country person's car, country is on

exactly it.

Yes.

Like me, you get in my car, maybe it's hip-hop, maybe it's rock and roll.

Like, it depends.

Yeah.

You like country.

Well, that's you.

The thing is, I have, I don't like to be put in a box and I feel as though you're putting me in a box right now.

What did I do?

I have it out.

Let's do it.

I do like country, but like, if I'm getting in the car, like, we're probably also going to listen to Taylor Swift.

Kind of country adjacent.

I mean, I wish she was still country adjacent, but she is not.

Okay, fair enough.

Like, yes, we'll be listening to country, but we'll also be listening to

pop top 40 Ryan Seacress, you know?

Sure.

I'm kind of a woman of the world.

I support that.

And I think that country is, yeah, I mean, there's something about, and like, I'll be, like, I'll listen to it and my wife, I'll talk to my wife, and I'll be like, who cares about this Coors Light and these trucks?

Yeah, no, it's like,

but she's like, but you're listening to like, you know,

getting like platinum chains and Rolls-Royce's.

Right.

Like, how is that similar?

But different.

Exactly.

I support it.

By the way, I didn't know that your wife Paige was a country girly and now I love her even more.

I'm so happy to hear that.

I can't believe your wife is your wife.

Like, she's such a smokeshow.

She's a babe.

She's a killing girl.

She's just like what we like to call here at the Morning Toast, everything of the sort.

She is pretty outstanding because she's like, I find women are obsessed with my wife because she's very beautiful and she's cool.

So cool.

Which makes no sense.

None whatsoever.

Do you consider yourself a cool person?

I mean,

I think at 35 now, like, I've graduated to a point where, like, I don't care anymore.

That's such a freeing feeling, I imagine, because I'm still very much wrapped up in the cool factor.

Are you?

Oh, 100%.

You've never met someone more insecure in your life, but also, like, incredibly secure, you know?

But is that the dichotomy of people like us?

Yes, I think.

Like,

I think I'm known a lot for my confidence.

And what you might not know is like, I would say 50 to 60% of the time that confidence is a facade.

Wow, sure.

I get that.

yeah i like in meeting your husband i was like i remember i i obviously i knew of you and ben and i would watch him on on his instagram stories and then i met him in person i'm like you're so tall he's like what do you think i was some short jew i was like that's amazing and he's like

and i was like and he has this like swagger to him that you have as well.

So to hear that you also like have that insecurity, I think.

Beyond that, I think that's why you, you know, the people love you.

Oh, Josh.

Come on.

Let's go up.

Let's shut up.

People love you.

You and and Ben went to dinner last night.

Ben got home and Ben was like, I've literally never been to a meal with someone who was asked to take more pictures in his life.

He's like, people were asking for pictures on the street in the restaurant chasing you down to your hotel.

Ben said it was chaos.

It was a nice night.

And in the book, like you...

A lot of times, like, you're very reticent to refer to yourself as a celebrity or someone who's famous.

Even though, like, you have 12 million followers on Instagram for a while, you were the most followed person on Vine.

You were in millions of homes.

You still are.

Like, you are a famous person.

And I just think it's time you admit that.

Fine.

I'm going to do it here first.

I, Josh Peck,

I'm famous as frick.

You're famous as frick.

We don't curse here, right?

Please, internet.

Famous as fuck.

Fuck shit, bitch ass.

We don't want to get demonetized.

We want to make.

That's true.

That's true.

Yeah, we want all the ads.

All of them.

But yeah, I mean, because like I think, especially being in comedy and whatnot, like I never, I always want to take the air out of the balloon.

You know what what I mean?

Like of course.

Bill Burr always talks about like the only thing worse than bombing on stage is not acknowledging you're bombing.

Oh, yeah,

that's a great quote.

And in moments where like I went through natural sort of ups and downs that every sort of journeyman actor who's not Tom Hardy goes through, like it felt incumbent on me to be like, to call it out first, much like the chubby thing.

You know, you're 100%

right.

And that makes a lot of sense.

Yeah, yeah.

So are you for people?

We don't believe in cancel culture here, but we are extremely upset with Kanye's behavior.

While so many people are like eating it up, thinking it's like funny, it's abuse, it's harassment, and it's really fucking annoying.

And like, I'm personally done with Kanye.

Do you think that Kanye should be canceled from Coachella?

I don't know.

I don't know as much of the interlike I've seen it from a top view.

So I'd really have to see all the exact exchanges to make like a definitive decision because I never know with people like Kanye and Kim and even like Pete to a certain extent,

they're operating on such a level of like famous moving sort of culture and the way like like just they're turning all the knobs and the buttons.

It's beyond like typical celebrity.

It's like tastemaker, trendsetter,

top 01% of famous people.

Like I've been upset before reading articles and then the next day they'll be like, and then they were at Disneyland and I'm like, you know what?

I'm not getting on this ride.

You know what?

You're so right.

Like because it's my whole life, like we get so personally vested in these stories.

Oh, yeah.

And, like, then people just move on.

Yeah, and you just don't know what, like, they got into a small, like, Kardashian huddle about, and they were like, we're putting this out tomorrow.

Oh, that I don't buy.

That I don't buy.

No.

And I tell me.

I think that, like, so much of the rhetoric around, like, Kim and all this being a PR stunt.

And every time Kim does something, it's like, oh, they're distracting from, you know, Jordan and Tristan.

I hate that.

First of all, because one, it's Kim's life.

So people are like, Kim started dating Pete to distract from the Travis Scott drama at Astro World.

You think like Kim is making life decisions for herself, for her love life, for her family, who she's bringing around her kids, for PR?

Like, no, that's just not true.

And I think a lot of those people who are like, you know, the devil works hard, but Chris works harder, a lot of that is rooted in misogyny.

Like, why can't like these six women just live their lives without it?

Always, don't get me wrong.

I think a lot of times they're being, you know, specific, not calculated, but meticulous about how they're perceived.

But like, they're just six people trying to live their lives.

And it's not always just like a PR move.

And I just, I really hate when people genuinely think that.

Good to know.

I agree with you.

And I got to say, every exchange I've ever had, like in a tertiary way with the Kardashians, everything I've ever heard has been beyond lovely.

And they're all incredibly impressive.

Tell me which Kardashians you've met.

Okay, so we met Chris at a party in Paris and she couldn't have been lovelier.

And she was wearing a dress to die for, and she looks great in person.

Great.

I love that.

It's full support.

And I saw Chloe Kardashian at a party, and I was too embarrassed to go up to her because i'm josh from drinking josh no

you're an icon living like you made it out of the child star

whirlpool you're more famous now than you were then like you should have went up i know i should have and randomly it was at maria menunos' birthday party

Hollywood is so weird.

It's so odd.

And I was like, I don't know even why I'm here, but I feel like I'll allow Chloe to live her life and hopefully, you know, just have a drink and a her moment.

Okay, well speaking of Pete Davidson, second story of the day is that Pete Davidson is now backing out of the Blue Origin space mission.

Earlier in the week, we reported that he was going to be one of the passengers on Jeff Bezos's, you know, this like rich people thing of sending people to space.

And so Pete Davidson, every rich person is trying to like one up.

Like, you know,

Richard Branson got the youngest guy, so then Pete Davidson got the oldest guy in the world to ever go to space.

Pete Davidson is now not going.

I'm not sure why, but they're now they're like rebooking his seat.

I don't know if he got charged to change fee or anything, but he's not going.

And I actually think there, I could see a world in which you are asked to go to space.

And I want to know if you would do it because you have so many followers.

They'd have you like live stream the whole thing, you know?

I don't want to throw up on live TV.

And I know there's no way with the G's and the amount of like, it just sounds terrible.

I also, I mean, Bezos does seem like a fun hang.

Like, I would love, would he puts on that cowboy hat?

It's over.

I want to know what's going on in JD's mind.

But

all in all, I have no desire to leave this earth.

I haven't even been to Tokyo yet.

Right.

I want to see what's going on here.

Why space?

And I hear it costs quite a pretty penny.

Like a million bucks.

Well, I think per passenger.

I don't know.

Jackie once, we read somewhere that per passenger costs maybe a quarter of a million dollars.

Wow.

I don't know, though, but I just, do you think Bezos was going to pay for it or Pete Davidson?

No, I don't think Davidson.

I think this is an influencer trip.

Me too.

It's Revolve in the Sky.

Yeah, exactly.

Fashion Nova is sponsoring it.

Totally.

Yeah, I agree.

He's not paying for it, but he's not going anymore.

I mean, I like how he is full-time job is being on SNL.

He's never on it, and now he's just going to leave the planet.

Like, you have responsibilities down here.

He's, he's a, you know, I randomly had lunch with him at John Invinci's in Los Angeles a few years ago,

even before he started dating Ariana Grande.

And because he, I just.

He got in early.

It just, you know, and now I'm not sure whether he would remember me, but

eating dinner or lunch with him at a very fancy Italian spot in LA it you know I was like I know you because I grew up in New York like I'm like you're a kid from Staten Island right and it just was so he couldn't have been nicer and cooler and so now like sort of watching from afar I'm like wow it's crazy right and I also do you think about I you probably don't think about this because you're I feel like you're comfortable because so much of your life is with people like these huge celebrities but like I was thinking about like dating someone like Kim Kardashian you know is the dream yeah it's also kind of scary it's so scary.

Being intimate with the most beautiful woman in the world.

100%.

And also, like, here's what we don't think about, right?

Skims, you know, worth billions.

Billions.

Doing well.

Very.

But if you're a good dude, you know, you let her pick up the private jet two, three times.

Right.

Every now and then, you got to be like, this one's on me.

I know.

And that's a $200,000 hit.

I know.

And like, obviously, all these people are so rich.

So it's like silly to even compare.

But like, I think that the gap in how much money Kim makes a year versus how much money Pete makes a year as like doing stand-up, he does some brand deals, he's Calvin Klein, and then obviously being on SNL.

I think there's an enormous gap in their

salaries.

And I wonder how that affects the dynamic when both people are arguably like still so rich, you know?

I mean, I guess it just depends what your baseline of sort of comfort and luxury is.

Right.

Are you flying commercial?

Are you flying private?

Do you think if you got to that level, would you, I like, because to me, I go, listen, I've had the lay down on Delta One.

It's lovely.

Yeah, you know.

I don't need better than that.

I agree.

And by the way, you're a points guy, right?

I'm a big points guy.

Shout out, Brian.

Shout out, Brian.

I knew that about you.

Well, I wasn't until I met Brian.

And now I'm like such, I could find a way to fly literally from here to Philly in a lay flat bed.

Like, that's how obsessed I am.

And yes, I agree.

Like, once you really get to hack the system, like, there is a way of flying commercial that's not even close to being private, but it's fair.

It's pretty good.

Fair.

Oh, yeah.

But also, Kim has her own plane now.

It was just reported.

She bought her own plane.

So she doesn't need to charter anymore.

Gulfstream?

It's like sickening.

Kim Air, she's calling it.

It's the biggest plane.

I mean, it's not as big as Drake's, but it's like the biggest thing I've ever seen.

Good for her.

Yeah.

But the main, that's at least a million bucks a month.

Oh, the hanger fees, the gas.

You still have to pay all the staff.

It's incredibly expensive.

You know, we all have our challenges, guys.

No, and that's what like people don't understand.

Like being Kim Kardashian is not easy.

No, I would never imagine that it's easy.

No, me neither.

And her superpower is ambition and business sense.

And like, and I think people sleep on that because they think like, oh, well, it's just, you know, it was just a sex tape 500 years ago.

Yeah, it's ridiculous.

Like, you could never do what she does.

Never.

And actually, on the last season of the Kardashians, she actually said her superpower is her calmness.

Like, she always remains calm, even in like crazy scandal, family, anything.

She always remains calm.

And that was like such an interesting take because I would say her superpower is like being smart, being influential.

But no, she attributed all that to her calmness.

She's a whole package.

Got to be more calm.

I need to be more calm.

I I know, but we're Jewish, so we're like genetically unable to be calm ever.

Do you, I'm, I'm very reactionary.

Like, I get like, I can feel my heart twist.

Yes.

And I go, oh, this is bad.

I'm going to need to eat something.

Yeah, of course.

Me and Ben were actually just talking.

Every time in the last week, Ben has said something, I'm like, literally, Josh said that in his book.

I need Ben.

Ben's not a huge reader, but I do want him to get him to read your book.

You guys are so similar.

And everything, he was talking about how he had our day and he ordered so much Thai food.

He's like, this is going to make me feel better.

I'm like, well, actually, Josh said in his book that he used that as a coping mechanism.

And I actually think Ben would love the book and I'm going to get him to read it.

I have to tell you the cutest thing that your husband said about you yesterday, which was, congrats on your book.

I'm going to read it, which will be the second book I've read since I was 13, second to my wife's book.

You know, that like the book was, it wasn't out yet, but it was finished and we had like bound copies in our home for months before, and Ben read it like the week it came out just because like he didn't want to be like not supportive.

It took him, so if Ben texts you in about 11 years and says he finally read your book, just know it's totally normal and it's no slight to you bless him we'll get him the audiobook by the way i've heard amazing things about the audiobook by the way you narrate it yourself right i do yeah wasn't that a journey it's so i'm like when i'm listening to it back i'm like wow i really have a lisp

you don't have a lisp do you i do a little bit i have a bad i have an underbite got it i have no room for the tongue got it got it got it have you ever thought about you know speech therapy well oh no i did i went for years as a kid as a kid but it's actually anatomical right you can't fix it I have no room well I could have my jaw broken should I do that for a YouTube video for you I mean for the views for the schwa blogs I think maybe come on and then I'd have to have braces for six months which would be really good I would love that would actually be like an amazing

series on YouTube like adults with adult braces is like a really tough thing to go through they did an episode of it on sex in the city but it's something that that is like not talked about well and then I feel like all the adults have have all the adults I know have Invisalign now Yes.

And it's like, I'm like, I can see your brackets.

I agree.

And then when they like take it out before eating, I have a friend who got married and like she finished her Invisalign.

It looked amazing, but she refused to stop wearing them until the day of the wedding.

Sure.

So everywhere we went, she was like, like slurp it out.

It's so disgusting.

Like you have to do that in the bathroom.

Well, I will say the one, have you watched the Kanye doc on Netflix?

I watched part one.

So isn't that the most endearing part is his retainers?

No, his retainers are the main character of the documentary.

They're the best.

And you know, he has an amazing teeth.

He does have really great teeth.

But then I didn't get to that part, but he gets into an accident or something, and he has veneers now, right?

Yeah, he broke his jaw in an accident.

And then one of his biggest songs, Through the Wire, is him rapping while his

jaw is wired shot.

Oh, interesting.

I didn't know that.

I do mean to finish the documentary, but I've just found myself so inundated with Kanye bullshittery in the last couple weeks.

Totally.

I'm like, I've had it, I've hit my limit.

No, I get it.

It's hard.

It's hard.

Yeah.

Okay, I want to keep going because this next story is beyond funny.

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Okay, now in the latest news of Hollywood being so beyond, out of control, and out of touch, Amy Schumer says she pitched the Ukrainian President Zelensky to satellite into the Oscars.

Quote, we have so many eyes and ears on the show.

So Amy Schumer, she revealed this.

Like she brought it up herself.

She revealed on the Drew Barrymore show that she pitched the Oscars producers on having President Zelensky satellite into the show.

She said, I'm not afraid to go there, but it's not me producing the Oscars.

So as we all know, Russia invaded Ukraine.

The Zelensky, the president of Ukraine, Zelensky, was an actor and a comedian before being elected head of state, which is just like a hilarious story.

And she wanted to have him brought in.

And she thought that was such a good idea, even though it didn't happen, she thought she should tell everyone on the Drew Barrymore show.

And I just think this is peak Hollywood moronic behavior.

Yeah.

Like really, there's a fucking war going on.

And the president went, hold on, let me satellite into the Oscars, where literally four people are watching now.

Right, he satellites in and he gives this impassioned speech about what's going on in the Ukraine.

And he goes, and the winner is House of Gucci.

and the winner is la la land yeah like that's it's it's pretty it's pretty wild it's pretty out of touch like to think that the Oscars are so and by the way I understand the sentiment like you know it's a global platform yada yada yada but first of all nobody watches the Oscars anymore like every year we come on here and report ratings from award shows and it's just less and less and less and less like when you compare the amount of people who watch the Super Bowl to the amount of people who watch, it's just like not even comparable.

So why do you think that is?

I think that, especially in the age of COVID, like when so many people were going through like real fucking problems, like nobody wants to watch the Oscars.

Like it's just peak hypocrisy.

Like it's just, it's so out of touch.

I think that with the invent of like streaming services, we're just like all going digital.

Like movies are still super relevant, but they're just not what they were.

Like do you remember for me?

I always bring up this example and Jackie has this running joke that I use like the same four examples and this is one of them.

Please.

When I was in high school like Slum Dog Millionaire was the biggest movie in the world.

It won every Oscar and it was like such a big deal.

Yes.

And it was so a part of the Zeitgeist, the music, and then the Pussycat dolls did Jaiho.

Like, it was huge.

Yeah.

And I just can't remember in recent history where a movie has like affected culture that much.

Right, because we're just getting with so many streaming channels.

I heard some statistic that there's 490 TV shows in production currently.

That is so crazy.

That's insane.

That's insane.

I mean, it's good for people like you.

No, look, look.

Thank God.

Lord.

But, you know, it's so true that we're, and I think award shows about something subjective just doesn't make sense.

I completely agree.

Like, I love a fan-voted moment.

I do.

Yes.

And,

yeah, I don't know.

I mean, certainly, like, you know, wouldn't mine an Academy Award.

Of course, by the way, me neither.

Don't take me out of the running.

I could see you as an egot.

I could see me as an e-got, too.

Yeah.

In a clair, a glazed donut,

an onion ring, and a.

Tell me.

A tum, because after all that, I'm going to need a tum.

Are you a tum scal?

Okay, I wasn't a tum scal until I met my husband.

And his his family is like, they're tum people.

I had never had a tum in my life.

I don't think I'd ever really experienced heartburn or else I would have sought some sort of relief.

Sure.

And when I say my husband are tumbs people, like they have Costco-sized jugs in the console of their car, like

everywhere.

And as I got older, when I started getting hungover, I started getting really bad heartburn because I drink a lot of like acidic margaritas, like Eastern Standards.

Yeah, sweet drinks.

Sweet, lots of lemon.

Delish.

And I think that that's what's giving me heartburn.

And I would wake up hungover with like this fire in my throat.

And I'm like, Ben, what is this?

He's like, sweetie, this is heartburn.

Yeah, welcome.

And ever since I had my first Tom, like I cannot serve, like when we go on tour, like we have this little kit of things that we absolutely must have, it's filled with Toms.

Like I cannot live without Toms now.

It's like those, like my car is like those TikToks of like,

say, like, tell me you're Jewish without telling me you're Jewish.

If you go into my car and you go in the panel, there's a bottle of clariton.

Got it.

And Tums.

Tums.

And it's just very, like, oh, allergies and heartburn.

Like, we know what tribe this kid's in.

100%.

I love Tums.

Like, ever since I started, and by the way, they're atrocious to consume.

No matter the flavor, the consistency is chalky.

It's unique.

Yes.

It's like nothing I've ever tasted before.

But how quickly

it intervenes in what's going on?

It's literal magic.

I literally feel like

I'm ingesting like police officers going to like break up a riot.

100%.

It's peace.

Yeah.

Okay, so Amy Schumer is out of touch.

We already knew that.

And a little real, oh, yeah.

Where's, I feel like she's come, like, she just has been a mom for a while, right?

She was a mom.

I think she had like a lot of success really quickly.

And then she took a couple of years off.

She got married.

She had a baby.

And I think, like, you know, it just totally takes a toll.

And now I think she's slowly coming back.

She hasn't done a special in a while since before she had a baby.

She's been very, very lucky.

Yes, I agree.

Okay, and it's her and Wanda Sykes.

And

was it just the two of them?

Regina Hall?

I think, yes.

Let's see.

For the Oscars?

For the Oscars.

I reported on it a little while ago, and I thought it was actually a great.

How long until Addison Rae and the D'Amelios host the Oscars?

Regina Hall and Wanda Sykes.

And honestly, I hope it's around the corner.

That, yeah.

That is a show I would watch.

That I'm ready for.

Have you hosted?

Did you host the...

Are you presented at a People's Choice, Teen Choice?

I hosted Teen Choice, and I got

small resentment.

I've never hosted the Kids' Choice Awards.

What?

How is this possible?

That's so bizarre.

Why are they doing this?

Do you have a Kids' Choice Award yet?

I got a couple.

You do?

I'm doing okay.

Where do you put them?

They're at my mom's house.

Oh, that's so cute.

I'm dying.

Okay.

Since you said you're a housewife girly, Luanne De Lesseps was drunkenly kicked out of a piano gay bar over the week.

So she was at Townhouse in Manhattan, and allegedly she grabbed the mic and wouldn't stop.

One source says that Luanne was, Luanne thought she was doing her act.

She tried to sing her own song, Money Can't Buy You Class, Class, but they didn't know it.

And she was asked to leave.

She was wasted.

I think it's been, people have been curious if she was sober these last couple years.

She hasn't been on TV in over a year.

Her sobriety has been kind of murky since her arrest.

She was sober, but then there was a lot of rumors she wasn't.

There was an intervention.

She was sober again.

Then she started drinking.

So we don't know where she landed, but now we do.

She's drinking.

She's drinking and she's at a piano bar.

It's arguably one of the best places to be drunk.

Agreed.

And And it's a very common thing.

Sonia Morgan was also kicked out of a establishment in Philly that I went to and I was like, this is the place.

It was like so exciting.

I'm like, this is the place where Sonia Morgan was kicked out.

I think this is a rite of passage for New York housewives.

New York housewives are all drunks.

They're all messy.

And I'm curious when you hear stories like this, does it really make you so grateful to be sober?

I'm incredible.

I mean, yeah, I'm incredibly grateful to be sober.

I mean, I literally out myself in this book

about, you know, me me sowing my wild oats and being a total cliche in Hollywood for four years.

But, you know, when I was getting drunk and acting a fool, like I, I, there was no camera phones.

I know.

I was thinking about that.

What were the years, you said four years in the book where you were like very into drugs and alcohol.

What year was that?

Probably like

just around when I turned 18 to 21.

What years in the world was that?

That was 20 or 2000.

I got sober in 2008.

So

2004 to 2008.

Oh, so that's when I was in the fourth grade.

So there was no,

there were no, no, I always think of that like I didn't have a camera phone in the fourth grade.

Unless anyone was like throwing out their T-Mobile side

quick.

But so, no, you're right.

You should actually, that's something to be really grateful for.

Like,

if you think of like some of the videos and pictures that could have surfaced of you in your darkest times.

I mean, there's like one or two pictures of me just like holding a beer, like looking a little sauced, a little bit of a lush.

I can't lie.

When I was reading the book, I did Google like looking for pictures.

Because were you ever arrested?

No.

No, okay.

Well, I thought maybe that was coming.

So I was like, Josh Peck mugshot.

Got a seat.

Then nothing came up.

And then I was like, Joshua Peck mugshot.

Still nothing came up.

Good for you.

I like your Googling.

I know, I know.

But no, it's something to be entirely grateful for that you went through that time, not at the peak of like.

people celebrities having no privacy.

Yeah, I just like, and, you know, a lot of people will say to me, they're like, oh, I was an alcoholic when I was 20, right?

Like, it's not the same.

It's not the same.

Especially after hearing some of the stories that you write in the book about

the incident where you were chased by the police.

That was fucking crazy.

A little bit crazy.

And the incident where, like, right after you left the house of someone you were picking up drugs from, like, that person was stabbed.

Yeah,

it was hectic.

I got so lucky.

You know, I've been sober for a long time and I did it through 12-step.

And I remember this guy said something to me.

He was like, this older guy in his 80s.

He's like, you're here because of your mother's prayers.

He's like,

you didn't do anything to get here.

This is because of you're one of of the lucky ones and forces outside of you got you here and I'm like it's so right cuz you're right like I was a second away right and you and at that time nothing scared you like nothing that happened could have scared you into stopping because I had been first of all I'd like been overweight my whole life So then I'm like suddenly in the body of what I think is like a cool normal typical person and I'm like and cool normal typical people aren't you know, people with a career at nine.

Right.

They're people who act a fool at 19.

Yeah.

And aren't worried about like, you know, upsetting their parents.

And they just, they go crazy.

And that's what I did.

I thought I was like, I remember I talk about in the book, like the first time I did drugs, it wasn't for the effects.

It was because I was.

It was for a girl.

Yeah, it was for a girl.

And I was like, oh, this is so normal.

Yeah.

And I'd been dying to be normal because every time I'd get invited out by a girl or to a party, I'd be like, I would love to, but I have to stay home and alphabetize my DVDs.

I can't do it.

Were you like a party kid in your teens or college years?

Okay, so I'm still technically like living in my party era.

I did grow up in the city, so it was like very fast.

Sure.

In a good way, not in a bad way.

Like I didn't really see much, like no one was, I went to a Jewish high school, so no one was like snorting lines.

You know what I mean?

Like we were, we were fast, but not as fast as some of the other schools in the city.

And I went to NYU, which was not really, it was four years of like, honestly nothing.

I feel like I actually really missed out on a college experience.

I lived at home for the last three years because I dormed the first year.

I'm like, I live in the city.

This is a waste of money.

And like, I hate all these people and they hate me.

So like, I basically just went to class and I had just met Ben.

So like we, I spent all my years in college hanging out with Ben.

Like it wasn't a crazy time in my life.

Sure.

And then once we got married, I was like ready to party.

So that's the era I've been in since I got married.

Was there ever a thought of like, you know what?

I'm going to go to the University of Kansas.

No.

That you weren't going to go to a city school?

I grew up in a strict house and like really all my sisters went to NYU.

We really, it wasn't that we weren't allowed.

It was just like, what are you doing?

Leaving the family?

Like, stay, you know?

My sister Jackie went upstate New York.

That's like the furthest anyone went,

which was crazy.

No, Colgate.

Yeah.

A liberal arts moment.

Fun.

Nice.

Okay, we've got one more story, right, before we dive into the book.

And it's specific for you because you're our social media star.

TikTok is rolling out Snapchat-style stories for more users.

So their experiment with Snapchat style stories is continuing with the company further rolling out the feature to a larger group of users today.

If you've gotten the the feature, you'll be greeted with a new banner when you launch the app encouraging you to create a story.

In a statement, they said, Currently, we're expanding a pilot test, which provides creators with additional formats to bring their creative ideas to life in the TikTok community.

So, this is something a lot of platforms: Twitter did it, Facebook did it.

I think they both have been shut down since then.

Instagram did it, they stole it from its Snapchat, and it was enormously successful.

Do you think that this will work?

You're on TikTok, you're pretty big.

I do well on TikTok.

I think if anyone can figure out anything, it's TikTok.

I agree.

They just seem to know.

And they have their finger on the pulse of the culture.

Like, they know what the kids want.

They listen to the kids.

And they really can't be stopped.

Yeah, I just think it, and if it was ever going to work, I mean, it's in a place like TikTok.

Like, you just weren't going to Twitter for stories ever.

Ever.

Also, we're not going to Facebook.

And I mean, what about, what do you think of the subscription model for Twitter?

Like, Twitter Blue, I think they call it?

I mean, it's not a bad idea, but I think anything Twitter tries to do at this point is just irrelevant.

Like, they are a dead company in the sense that, like, I don't think they're ever really going to grow.

I think they'll be an important part of like the social atmosphere because it's really the only platform where you can break news.

So it has that and I think it's good for like a few things, but I don't think they'll ever really evolve past that.

And I think once they acknowledge that and stop trying, like it'll be so much better for all of them.

Which is why they should turn to like a subscription model for people like CNN who are like updating it every five minutes and say, well, it's going to cost you $100,000 a month to be on this platform.

I just think.

And they'll do it.

Yes.

I think the big platforms will do that.

I think that'd be a great revenue thing for them.

But I think for the user experience,

as consumers, we're never going to use Twitter differently.

Yeah,

it is what it is.

Twitter spaces, they could try all they want.

No one's doing it.

It's not.

Twitter voices, they try to copy like a Clubhouse and Green Room.

No one's buying what they're selling.

No, we just want the two news.

We just want the Briggie news.

Yeah, the 280K.

Yeah, now we're at 280.

Yeah.

Cute.

Okay, so actually, have you gotten the feature yet?

I feel like you would be one of the first people.

Yeah, let's see.

I'm going to be

going to feel really insecure if I didn't get it.

Me too.

That's going to be really upsetting.

It's going to be a huge blow to your ego.

Oh, dear.

No, I didn't get it.

No.

Would I know right away?

Let's see.

Yeah, they say like a banner would pop up at the top.

This is unacceptable.

Unacceptable.

You got to talk to your people.

Wait, nah, nothing.

I got a top, I got a monetization top brand request from handheld vacuums.

Oh, wow.

Did you do a sponsorship with them?

Things are looking up.

Okay, well, speaking of sponsorships, that's a great way to segue into the next sponsor for today and your book, which is all about money, which I loved, by the way, the transparency.

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Okay, your book, Happy People Are Annoying by Josh Pack, came out this week.

Yes.

How has Pub Week been for you?

Good, I think.

Yeah, I think so too.

I've been seeing you everywhere.

Oh, wow.

BFX pod, GMA, like you're everywhere.

I was with the View Gals yesterday.

By the way, what was that like?

Okay, here's a wonderful little, you know, a little bite of something, a little tea.

I go and I forget, and I'm talking

to the host before, and I'm like looking at the chair, and I'm sitting there, and I'm like, oh, this swivels a lot.

And one of the hosts goes, like, you understand why Joy could fall?

Yeah, Joy fell the other day.

And I said, that's incredible.

I was like, I can't believe I am at the scene of the crime.

Did they grill you?

I feel like it's such a scary show to be on.

Were you scared?

They couldn't have been lovelier.

Oh, good.

Okay.

Yeah.

I mean, they were so lovely and you're right.

I was certainly like intimidated just because

you're unique in the sense that you've been on the internet for so long and you've been killing it on the internet for so long.

And you've really never, I don't want to jinx you, but you've never been canceled.

No.

You don't have scandals.

Knock wood, knock wood, knock wood, knock wood, knock wood.

God forbid, God forbid.

God forbid.

I mean, yeah,

I certainly like, no more scandal than something I talked about in the book.

Right, that's true.

That's true.

And like you, I like feel so lucky that I met my wife 10, 11 years ago almost.

Like she was 20, I was 24.

Right.

So it's like I've kind of been a family man for a long time, even before my son was born.

So, and the truth of the matter is, is like, I love famous people like you and Ben.

I love people who.

Thank you.

No big deal.

No, it's just, I'm a star.

Like, I like people in the industry where we can actually have real conversations, but like the people that are operating up there where like you talk to them and you're like, are you a robot?

Right.

Like, is there anything here?

Right.

It doesn't super interest me.

I just like working and hanging out with my family.

100%.

Okay, so speaking of family, the first thing that I thought about your book was I literally loved how you wrote about your mom.

Oh.

And I loved that she was a thread throughout the whole book in the sense that like you wanted success so bad.

And not for the reasons that I think typically most people want success.

Fame, money, access.

Like you just really wanted to be able to take care of your mom.

And that was like a thread the whole time, given given how you grew up and just kind of sometimes unstable environments.

And like you really just wanted to grow up and be the one to protect your mom.

And I just like, I found myself tearing up so much every time you spoke about your mom.

It was so lovely.

Oh, thank you.

And how is your mom?

My mom is the best.

Shout out, Barb.

Shout out, Barb.

Barb is the best.

She's 77.

She's totally crushing it.

We got on the phone after I finished dinner with your lovely husband yesterday.

And this is her.

I just, and you know, she's been watching the view.

I go,

she goes, so tell me.

That's how she opens a call.

So tell me.

So, was she like shephing so much nachis with you on the view?

The amount of nachis.

I'm going to read you some of the texts I got from my mom yesterday because I feel like you painted such an at like a picture of her.

Like, I literally, I don't even know what she looks like, but I know.

She was about, okay, here we go.

Just saw the view.

I'm beyond proud.

I'm Fuklempotsied and overwhelmed.

That is beyond funny.

Okay, that's at 1:55 p.m.

At 3:12 p.m.

Geez, the outpouring is awesome, honey.

You are so loved.

Oh, my God.

I'm crying.

And then I go, I write, thank you.

And then three minutes later, did you get a New York slice or a bagel?

It always comes back to food.

Always comes back to food.

That's your part.

Like, I'm, you know, I have this really small part in this Christopher Nolan movie that I've been working on.

Ben told me about it.

And, you know, I'm so honored to be there.

And it's like, you know, Matt Damon and all these crazy people.

And, and, you know, it's like a proper big, like, I've certainly done some indie movies where

I was like, where's my dress room?

They're like,

you're in it.

I'm like, we're outdoors.

What's going on?

And so my mom calls me, and it's my first day.

She goes, so did they pick you up?

And I go, yeah, ma.

They picked me up.

What kind of car?

It's a Christopher Nolan movie.

Like, I got in a van and they drove me to set.

And they're like, they provide lunch?

Yes, there was a lunch.

Was it good?

It was good.

Like, that's all she wants to know.

What's the spread?

Right, of course.

Were they nice?

And are you getting home safe?

Yes, totally.

What I found to be so interesting, and I love celebrity memoir books.

They're like my favorite genre.

But to be honest, like, sometimes I do find myself like skipping through people's upbringing because, like, who fucking cares?

But.

First of all, your upbringing is so interesting.

One, because of the whole thing with your dad, which we'll get into in a minute.

And two, because you were a star.

And I had no idea that as like a 12-year-old, you were going to clubs in New York and doing stand-up.

Yeah.

That's insane.

I didn't even know they they had kid hour stand-up.

We, so I started getting into stand-up because I found there was this thing called Backstage Magazine, which was like the actors magazine in New York.

And in the back, there'd be classifieds.

And I read at nine years old, it says Sid Gold at Gold Star Entertainment.

We rep comedians of all ages.

Right.

I said, well, I'm of all ages.

So I go to meet him, and he's like, you know, if you can get five minutes together, I can get you booked at a club.

So I like steal jokes from my mom, make fun of kids at school, and suddenly I'm performing at Stand-Up New York and Carolines, right?

Yeah, that's insane.

Were you getting paid for that?

No, but like you were just doing it to warm up your craft, have Sid believe in you.

Yeah, I just wanted to get Sid some some eventual commission.

Wow, that's so crazy.

I never even heard of anyone doing stand-up that young.

That's insane.

And then I like wound up doing it like on the what I don't think I talk about this in the book.

So at the time, the Rosie O'Donnell show was, she was like the first Ellen.

Yeah, I remember.

Biggest thing in the world.

And my mom and I just loved it.

And we get tickets, right?

So

every episode, she would have someone from the crowd introduce her.

Oh, wow.

So my mother, God bless Barb, we're standing there and she sees a guy running around with like a headset on.

She goes, listen, I got somebody for you.

10-year-old comedian.

Done deal.

Rosie's going to love him.

Like, have him introduce her.

Five minutes later, we're in the green room.

Yeah,

we went from the line to the green room.

That's going to be the next book.

And we're sitting there, and my mom's like giving me the look, like, you know what to do.

Right.

You don't just say what they tell you to say.

You say what you got to say.

This is your moment.

And I wound up doing stand-up on her show that morning.

That's such a crazy story.

It was so, and then I did it on Conan O'Brien and like all these things.

And yeah,

it was my thing.

I didn't know that.

Yeah.

Obviously, I knew about the Amanda show and the Drake and Josh of it all, which you do go into in depth.

And at that point in your career, when you started started having like real traction with the kids' show, is when you were at your heaviest.

Totally.

And I just about lost my mind when you divulged like the day you were introduced to Spanks.

Yeah.

On set of Drake and Josh with the wardrobe manager, because you were just like not feeling it.

And she put this thing on you and you immediately were just smoothed out and like it gave you confidence.

I, I, yeah, I reveal, like, this is 2002.

So there's like, there's no Spanks, there's no Skims.

Right.

There's just like the Macy's shapewear department.

Totally.

Yeah.

And so

shout out Chris.

She was the wardrobe designer.

She was like the loveliest woman, loved me, and kind of knew that like, you know,

I just was, I was playing kind of a thankless role at times.

Yeah.

You know, a little bit the butt of the joke at times.

Punching bag.

A little bit.

And

so basically like my go-to look was a big t-shirt and sort of like a shirt over that open, nice, you know, slimming.

Yep, yep, yep.

Middle line.

Yep.

And so she was and she could just tell I would like pull at my clothes and I would sort of close myself off in scenes from the cover I don't even know if I was aware of it so one day she says come here I want you to go in I want you to put on this tank top and it's like flesh colored right it's like this tuna like there's threads popping out she manufactured oh that's so sweet yeah and I go in and I'm like this is way too small and as I'm like putting it on I'm like this woman's a chubby chaser

She's obviously trying to like embarrass me.

Right.

And then she's like, now put the shirt on over it.

And I was was like, oh my God.

And I think I say in the book, like, I went from like having a muffin top to looking like an overly stuffed bag of bread.

Right, smooth.

But it was smooth.

Right.

And I was like, I felt like I wore that from 297 pounds to

170 pounds.

Wow.

Like, and then eventually I found Calvin Klein made one.

Right, that you did.

I upgraded.

But yeah, God bless her.

Oh, my God.

I just love that.

I was like, where is this story going?

I'm like, Spanks.

Spanks, male Spanks.

And then you really talk about how you made the decision to lose the weight and how you kind of thought that would like fix your whole life.

Like all your problems you've ever had would be solved.

And of course it wasn't.

And then that's how your food addiction turned into a drug addiction.

And I just, I was shook because I know you, I know this Josh.

He met like, what, like a year ago.

I was.

I just can't picture you being that Josh, being chased by the police, picking up drugs in random.

Like it was just shocking.

And it was shocking how honest you were.

yeah i i don't i i think in writing it i didn't realize it and now sort of the reaction i'm like wow maybe i did you know i did divulge a little much but i you know it was certain moments like i tell these you know specific stories about losing weight and the drug stuff and then like career mishaps and and i was working with a buddy of mine who was sort of i knew i didn't want a ghostwriter but i needed an advisor on help yeah someone i could bother and he said to me he's like if you don't get honest and really tell your story here like a people aren't gonna care and be you're not gonna help anyone right and so yeah I basically like I lost 110 pounds and suddenly I was the same head in a new body right it didn't go away yeah I didn't have like I throughout so many times in my life before I got comfortable with who I was I imagined that if I get to this finish line old Josh will just evaporate and like this new confident like man about town will arise and and it was only an embrace it's it's it's really some like chubby Jewish Spider-Man shit because it's only in embracing my origin story Yeah, that I really was sort of freed.

I love that.

That's gorgeous.

Thank you.

And by the way, what I really loved is when you spoke about a lot of the Drake and Josh stuff, you spoke a lot about the money.

Yeah.

Because there's this perception.

I mean, when you think about how relevant that show was, how many millions of people have seen it, you would think that you're living in a palace.

You have gold bars for breakfast.

Like you would think that, but you really broke down the money.

You said over the course of five years, because there aren't that many episodes on kids' TV shows, you made $450,000 over the course of five years, which after taxes, after commissions for your agents and everyone, that netted to what, like less than $100,000 a year?

Yeah, so we made $900,000 over five years and then it netted to about $450,000 over five.

So yeah, it was a little less than $100,000 a year.

Right, which isn't what you would expect for someone who's like so a part of the cultural site, guys.

Hug me, brother.

Like it's like, it's so a part of pop culture.

Yeah.

You would think like you were making bink, but you weren't.

No.

And is that, did you you think that too?

Of course.

You were like Hannah Montana level.

Yeah, it was a different, and I'm sure I doubt Miley got rich from that show.

Exactly.

She got rich from other stuff.

By the way, and you don't get paid royalties in kids' television shows, which I didn't know until I read your book.

And is Drake and Josh on a streaming service right now?

Probably.

Probably on what?

Like Paramount Applause?

Yeah, Viacom, right?

So the show is still generating revenue and you're not.

No, nothing, ever.

Like the day we were done, it was done.

Yeah, and it was like, because I think like we hear about the kids from modern families or two and a half men yeah i'm like yeah that's you know

f you money for the rest of your life and then like nowadays we also have like like the stranger things kids yeah

whether they get paid or not i'm sure they're doing great also when stranger things dropped on a friday when they woke up monday they had 10 million followers a different life yeah and then you know now absurd amounts so like suddenly they had this tangible thing that they could take with them monetize but we didn't have that necessarily so yeah, like it, you know, obviously, I don't want to talk about money.

It's gross, but it felt important.

No, it's beyond helpful, by the way.

Yeah, explain.

And what's so interesting is like you were at Nickelodeon at this time where like now years later, we all grew up with it.

It's kind of been like this like source of scandal in a way.

Amanda Bynes, you got started on the Amanda show before Drake and Josh.

Do you talk to Amanda at all?

Like, how is she doing?

We stand her so hard and we just want her out of her conservatorship.

I absolutely love her.

Okay, we do, we'll like talk every year or two.

And she was the best then, and she's like the best now.

I just, I feel like Amanda Bynes was robbed in so many ways because I think the industry, whatever happened to her that led to her cracking down, robbed us all and robbed her because I think she was on her way to being like the comedic actress of our generation.

Beyond.

The movies that she did up until that point, She's the Man, like

genius.

She was the funniest actress, and I just so want her to be well.

My friend Brandon J.

McLaren, who he and I did the show, Turner and Hooch at Disney Plus, he was one of the stars of She's the Man.

And I'm like, we're never which character?

He played, he was like on the, he was on the soccer team and he was like one of Channing's friends.

One of the guys, yeah.

Yeah, one of the dudes.

And like, he, I'm like, we're never going to not talk about that.

Yeah.

I want to know everything because that movie is iconic.

I mean, I use She's the Man jargon in everyday life.

Word G-man.

My favorite spree, like, literally, my favorite scooter.

But okay, so the amanda behinds of it all.

Right.

Also, I have to to ask, because for years I have, I actually, when our show used to be owned by Verizon, I got like in so much trouble from legal for talking about Dan Schneider.

But there have been like so many, especially in the age of TikTok, like the feet, there is a lot of weirdness as it pertains to Dan Schneider.

And I can't lie, I was gooped and gagged seeing his name in your book.

I want to know what you think of the Dan Schneider of it all.

I mean, obviously, I've certainly seen...

seen that stuff just it being around in the public but you know my experience with with him was that he was my boss you know and he was certainly like i mean he at that time, what is sort of, you can't deny is that he had the magic sauce of Nikolai.

I mean, he was behind King and Kell and all that.

Yeah, and so he was certain, he's like, I know what I'm doing, and there's no question that I know what I'm doing.

And so, you know,

we weren't that close.

It just was like he was my boss, and

I kind of like, and I was going through so much of my own stuff at that time that I think I was like, if it, you know, I just was sort of so self-focused.

Okay.

Yeah.

Okay.

So you didn't see anything nefarious?

No.

Okay.

But then there's the Drake of it all, which I really don't want to get into because if you read the book, and I feel like a lot of the press you've been doing, everyone wants to know about Drake, Drake, Drake.

But if you read the book, like, it's not that deep.

Like, you guys started working together.

And then after the show, some people, you know, Keenan and Kel, they went on as a comedy duo.

You guys decided to go your separate ways.

But did Keenan and Kel go on as a comedy duo?

No, no.

I don't know.

But like, you and Drake didn't.

And you didn't keep in touch.

And you got married 10 years later.

And you didn't invite him to your wedding.

because like would you invite your coworker from 10 years ago to your wedding no and then he went crazy and now he's in jail or whatever like it ain't that deep like you didn't invite him to your wedding not because there was some big beef because you had a small wedding and you hadn't spoken to the man in 10 years I, you know, again, I was going through such a weird, random existence during that time.

And like, and like, so I'm like deeply insecure being overweight on this show.

And like, and also, but like,

how am I crying with two loaves of bread under my arm that I'm eating?

Like, this is the dream.

Like, I wanted this.

I got us out of New York.

Like, we're not broke anymore.

Right.

You did it, and it wasn't, like, enough.

It wasn't enough.

Yeah.

And then, and then I lose the weight and I'm dealing with this weirdness, which is like...

Some, most people were very happy for me, but now I'm getting hate for losing weight.

Right, right, right.

You can't win.

And I'm like, well, talk to my cardiologist.

What do you think?

Right.

I did what I did.

Like, I'm no longer on blood pressure meds.

Can we talk about your dad?

Please.

And, okay, so crazy story, by the way, about your dad, how you're you never met him.

No, you knew he existed, and like, I think now you probably, like, know his name and maybe what he looks like, but he's passed on.

Yes, and the book is very eerily dedicated for E-A-D.

Are those your dad's initials?

They're not my dad's initials, but more importantly, they're not my mother's initials.

Right.

And I've heard about that from her.

Who the fuck is this?

This is a lovely, very special family friend who helped, my mom's best friend who helped raise me.

Got it and she sadly passed away and and it felt like sort of like and she to be quite honest she passed away at the time where i was kind of like you know acting a fool

so i i felt like i never quite was able to give her the

her due you know and

it felt like a loving tribute oh my god i have chills i love that okay i thought maybe it was like some sneaky message it's like who you're doing my dad

i'm gonna dedicate this thing i worked so hard on to this man i never die well so the dad thing was so crazy And what I thought was so interesting is like, you said it really affected you as an actor, like in roles where you would have to like talk to your dad.

You felt weird because you'd never spoken to a dad before.

Totally.

And I thought that was interesting.

And then I was like dying because you, and the book came out before.

The book was sent to the publisher before this news was released.

You are now in How I Met Your Father.

And a lot of people think you might be the father.

And it's just to me, I was like laughing so hard because I'm like this whole dad complex you had.

And then you ended up on a show, How I Met Your Father, where you might be the father.

I don't know.

Yeah, I mean, and now I'm I'm I'm very much at the dad age like and you are a dad I am a dad I'll see like you know you get these things called breakdowns for auditions and it'll be like you know the part is 30 to 40 you know

guy you know a typical looking guy and and now it says and he's a dad to an eight-year-old I'm like that's impossible

maybe it is so yes it's weird yeah I never met my pops it certainly had this sort of big effect on me but in so many ways I didn't realize and then in having my own kid, it like really allowed me to sort of like close that bad feedback loop.

And you never reach out to any of his siblings.

You said in the book that you did that.

I mean, not siblings, kids, any of your siblings.

You said in the book you did that on purpose.

Like, you know, you could reach out to them, but you don't want to blow up their entire world.

Like, hey,

I'm here.

Welcome.

You know,

I, you know, the truth is, is, yes, he had a whole other family, and he was in his 60s when he hooked up with my mom.

So it's like, he, you know, my brothers and sisters are in their 50s.

And so yes, that is certainly a thing where I was like, I had done so much work on it and he was gone at this point that I'm like, I don't want to blow up their image that they have of their dad.

Right.

Who he was obviously great to them.

I mean, that's.

incredibly magnanimous of you.

Like not everyone, aren't you curious?

I'm not so curious, but a buddy of mine brought this up, my friend Brian Koppelman, who had me on his pod, and it was an interesting insight.

He's like, do you ever think, though, that you also hold secrets that might help them?

Right.

And I was like, what do you mean?

He's like, that his kids might in the back of their head go, you know, sometimes dad would come home smelling a perfume.

Right.

Or like, sometimes dad would have this like lost look in his eye and I'd wonder what he was thinking.

And like if I showed up and I was like, that lost look was Josh from Drake and Josh.

I mean, it's not enough that like they have this other sibling, but it's you.

Like it's crazy.

Odd.

Well, so have you ever done 23andMe?

I have, yes.

They might find you that way.

I'm just like, you're in the registry.

Yeah.

Wow.

Did you not think about that?

No.

When I was reading the book, I'm like, did this bitch do 23andMe?

I got to go.

No, I'm like, I'm having a meltdown.

No, that would be amazing.

All 23andMe told me was that I was like 99.1% Ashkenazi.

Okay, by the way, so like in like, I grew up in, and I still like very much socialize in like a really Jewish community here in New York.

And one of my best friend's dads was like 98.9% and people were freaking out.

Like that was the highest they'd see.

98.9% Ashkenazi Jewish so I do it and I'm 99.6

Wow and I'm like one up in Kenny Ashendorf I'm like Kenny I'm the new queen Mazel wait then Ben does it 100%

Ashkenaz Jewish isn't that crazy I just can't believe that like a a his great great great great didn't have like a fucking affair yeah you know with shocking with a Polish girl or like somebody like Shiksagadis yeah some beautiful shiksagades Okay, so now let's talk about your transition into being an influencer, content creator, whatever you want to call it.

Yeah.

I was shook, first of all, because when you were talking about the first time you ever made money on a brand deal and you were talking about Badoo, like I've been influencing for so long, like I have Bidoo stories, I got paid 25 grand from Badu.

Like I

was shook reading that, like just the parallels.

I'm sure it was a similar time.

Like it was so funny, like a real throwback.

So I love that.

And I didn't realize, like, at the peak of your career with like the Vine, not peak of your career, peak of the Vine career, we were the most followed person on the platform.

These brand deals were just coming in left, right, and center before it all came to a halt.

And now, even after, I didn't realize what a big part of your like digital career college talks were.

Yeah, you get paid for that?

Oh, yeah.

A lot.

Nice.

Wow.

Not bad.

I'm shook.

Would you do that?

Duh.

I mean, I think I'm like too like disgusting to speak at a college.

Like, I cannot believe that.

I've done some hillels.

Oh, crush.

I love a hillel.

I love it.

Good bagel spread.

I love a jiggle.

Did they fly you first class for the college talks.

They basically will, they'll give you a fee and then like they'll say like, and this, you know, and then you have like a stipend, a part of it.

And, you know, fly yourself, put yourself up wherever.

That's why you're a points guy.

I always go nice on the plane and I go simple on the hotel.

I think that's a really good philosophy.

I'm a Marriott Courtyard guy.

Are you a Marriott Bonvoy member?

Of course.

Of course, the app is so good.

Oh, I'm dying for titanium.

No, I know.

I'm a few nights away from like reaching my next level and it's so helpful with tour because I got so many hotel rooms.

I cannot wait.

Oh, I'm shout out, Marriott.

Shout out, Marriott.

Speaking of your digital career, I found it very interesting that you were incredibly specific and upfront about how much money you made on TV.

But then, when it came to the money you were making on social, you were a little more tight-lipped, and I think that's because you're making a lot of money on social.

Can you explain your decision?

Well, I, yeah, I think, like, I think I say at one point, like, it, it, there came a point where I was making seven figures from YouTube a month.

Not from YouTube, no, no, no, not a month.

Oh.

No, over like a year, I was making over seven figures with like combined of brand deals and YouTube.

Column and speaking engagements.

But yeah, I was able to, yeah.

And at that point, it's just like you're playing with house money.

Like it just makes no sense because it's, you know, in comparison, it's just like you're, we're the lucky ones.

That I was like, it's not important that I like.

Put some weird flex.

Yeah, but I was curious.

I'm not going to lie.

I'm nosy.

We're friends.

Yeah, no, I guess I could have just texted you, like, how much did you get paid for that brand deal?

Yeah.

Okay, keep going.

I thought that was really interesting at the end of your chapter on sobriety and like your journey to going to meetings was this little disclaimer you had because Alcoholics Anonymous is of course anonymous and in some way like does it contradict the anonymity of it all by writing about it in the book.

I thought it was totally fine.

I know of course you probably changed all those people's names.

Like I thought it was fine.

I'm curious if people, since the book came out a few days ago, if you've had any sort of backlash to you writing about it.

I haven't.

And you're right.

Like how could I tell in an honest way my experience while honoring the anonymity of 12-step?

And so I do mention it, but it's not a lot.

And I basically, yeah, there's certainly, there were ways where I could have omitted it completely, but I feel like I maybe wouldn't have been able to tell the whole story.

Yeah.

So I feel like, and that's why I did do the disclaimer, because the reality is, like, in no way am I a representative or an ambassador for any 12-step.

It's just something that worked for me.

And I have that quote in the Steve-O book or in the book about what Steve-O said, which is like, whenever someone, you know, puts on weight, no one blames the gym.

Right.

Right?

Like, they just assume they stop going.

Right.

So I think it's important because, you know, it's a day-to-day thing that, like, I say, that I'm sober today.

Hopefully I will be for the rest of my life.

And, you know, I got sober this way, but there are other ways.

Do you still go to meetings?

I do.

Do you go when you're in New York or you stay in LA?

I've only been here two days, but if I'm traveling somewhere, I'll totally look up.

It's a great way to like just plug into people that are like me.

And yeah.

Speaking of the Steve-O quote, what I also found really interesting in the book was how many quotes you had, whether it was like things people in your life have told you that that stuck with you,

famous quotes by like famous doctors.

Now I wanted to know if you researched those quotes or you have them all memorized.

Well I also had a podcast.

I have my podcast Mail Models Now, but for 120 episodes I did the Curious podcast.

So I had a lot of great stuff from people I was fascinated by and I sort of mined that.

And then, but then also, yeah, I'm a quote guy.

I love a good quote and then also I would look up some stuff and you know yeah I found the quotes to be like extremely powerful I literally if you look at this book I have so many things underlined reading oh boy I love it look at you no I was I really okay what an honor I don't know who you said who said this was it Lisa Lampinelli oh that's a great that was on my podcast I don't know about the the popcorn trick no the reason why people are funny is usually not funny at all I don't know if that that's a great quote but I don't know where where you heard it from okay also

I loved when you talked about TV being your best friend.

Yes.

And I resonated so hard with this.

Like throughout my life, television has been my best friend, my babysitter, my teacher, and most importantly, my escape.

I left, I left it on to feel like someone was there.

I fell asleep to it, so the room never got dark.

If you knew like how much I've been doing that since I was a kid, mostly because I'm afraid of the dark.

Like when Ben's gone, I sleep with the TV on.

I sleep with all the lights on.

Like I'm my electricity bill is crazy because I'm petrified, absolutely petrified of the dark.

I just, I love that.

And I was like, oh my God, this is in my brain.

Wait, let me keep going.

Hold on.

While you look, I'll tell you that.

My wife and I have recently purchased a home.

Mazeltove.

Thank you so much.

And I am a city kid.

I've grown up in apartments.

We live in an apartment currently.

And I am so terrified that now, if there's a sound in the house, it's going to be incumbent on me.

To go investigate.

I could never live in a house.

So many sounds.

I remember, this was years ago.

Paige's mom, my wife's mom, was, she's like, you know, your father's out of town.

And I've been hearing a lot of sounds around the house like there have been people walking around like I'm just feeling a little nervous like would you guys mind staying over the night right I'd love for a man to be in the house tonight and I was and I go well call a man

like I'm not that guy and I was like geez when a man is required I am now of the age yeah you have to come to terms with that my god speaking of paige I have two more questions for you speaking of paige I was kind of waiting in the book for you to talk about like your guys is meat cute but from a lot of the press I've seen you do this week and just like overall consensus from the book it's my understanding that Paige is extremely private She I wouldn't say extremely but she's she's a healthy amount of private right and it's it's just something I love about her because she she so knows who she married and she in no way ever tries to I mean she censors me in the way a wife should censor which is like shut up stupid

but she's just like I'm happy to be along you know for the ride and and in certain instances like join you with with things but you know she she's a private person and yeah and I do love that about her and me too And we also made the call early on because I was just being a total like proud dad and I loved posting photos of my kid.

Yes.

And you know, the internet loves it.

It doesn't hurt the views.

Right.

But you know, around two-ish, we were like, he's got a face now.

It, you know, I wanted to honor his anonymity, so I don't post them anymore.

We were just talking about that earlier on the podcast because I come from a family now.

We have two kids in our family and we don't share on social media.

It's like from day one, it's just like a general rule of thumb.

And I think like once you've seen the internet, good and bad, like I think a lot of people would come to that decision.

And I totally respect that decision.

Yeah, I just think like if I want to give him the choice of anonymity, because I think that's a right and privacy.

And if at a certain age when he's old enough to be like that, I want to be in something I do, great.

Great, but he can't make that decision right now.

Totally.

The last thing I want to talk to you about is this concept in your book of apostles, which is such like a non-Jewish thing.

I was like, what the fuck?

Same.

But I loved that concept.

I feel like I have something similar in my life.

I refer to to it as like Malach Hashem, like an angel of God, like people who just bring you from one place to another.

And I feel like you had a similar thing with apostles, just people in your life who have told you really, really hard truths.

And I'm curious how, as a Jew from New York, you came, I didn't even know what the fuck an apostle was until I read it in your book.

I had to Google it.

Like, how did the fuck did you know that?

And how did you come to that

theory?

Well, I tell this story about I was doing this movie called The Whackness with Ben Kingsley, and he's my favorite actor.

He's like the Michael Jordan to me of acting.

And I remember on the last day of filming, filming, I just felt compelled.

I was 20.

I was, you know, not sober and I needed a father figure.

And I'm like, and I remember I said to him, I was like, Sir Ben, because he's a knight, you call him Sir Ben.

I said, do you have any advice?

And he looked at me and I wanted the secret.

I was like, how do I become a movie star?

Right.

And he was like, find your apostles.

And I was like,

I didn't learn about that in Hebrew school.

And, you know, I've learned that an apostle is someone who tells you, they're willing to hurt your feelings to tell you something that's going to be good for you, that will better you.

I always say, if your reaction to something is, my reaction to an apostle telling me something is always,

screw you, I'm the worst.

You're probably right, but it's too late.

Fine, I'll do it.

Right.

And throughout my life, I've had people in my life who were willing to hurt my feelings, knowing that it was going to be the best thing for me.

For you.

Yeah.

But yeah, I didn't know.

I mean, I'd heard of apostles.

I knew that, you know, the Virgin Mary and Joseph was a carpenter.

Yeah, I knew that too.

You know, or like maybe he, maybe he was Jesus a carpenter and then Joseph was the...

Joseph is...

Who's Joseph?

Mary's the mom.

Jesus is a son.

God is allegedly the father.

Word up.

We needed more back in the day.

I'm married to a Catholic.

Right, you should know better.

I am a total mess, and I'm ashamed.

You should know better.

Shout out, love Catholics.

Love it all.

Love it all.

Okay, the book is incredible.

It's so well written.

I giggled so, like, actually laughed out loud so many times.

It's incredibly well written.

It's very funny while also touching on some of the darker moments in life.

I highly recommend it.

It's available now.

It just came out.

Mazel Tov.

Thank you.

Thank you for coming on the toast.

Thanks for kikiing with us, talking about pop culture.

Everyone pick up a copy of Happy People Are Annoying by Josh Peck.

Oh, no, happy people are annoying.

Yeah, not happy people are the worst.

Happy People Are Annoying by Josh Peck.

Josh, thank you for being here.

Booby, love you.

Thank you.

Love you.

Everyone, thank you so much for a great week of episodes.

We'll see you back on Monday with Jackie.

She's joining us remotely, and we have a great week of co-hosts coming up.

Thank you so much for listening to the Morning Toast, the Millennial Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

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Bye.