S5 Ep29: Beat The Crunch with Ben Soffer: Tuesday, March 15th, 2022

Good morning, millennials, and welcome back to the morning toast.

Happy Tuesday and happy kickoff to our next couple weeks of maternity leave with guest co-hosts.

And today's guest co-host, our first back in studio, we haven't done an episode in studio in 75 years, is Ben Soffer, my husband, also known as Boy with No Job, also known as the founder of the greatest canned beverage to ever hit the market, Spritz Society.

Hi, Ben.

Hi, darling.

How are you?

I'm good.

How are you?

I'm good.

I'm thinking that we should contact Ruby Tuesdays and make them a permanent sponsor of the Tuesday episode.

Why?

Just because they'd like come in, they'd bring us wings.

Brought to you by Ruby Tuesdays.

No, I don't even know what it is.

I assume it's like a TGI Fridays.

Yeah, I think it's a regional thing because I've actually never even seen a Ruby Tuesdays in my vicinity.

I've seen a Chili's, an Applebee's, a TGI Fridays.

They're all very similar, I think.

Yeah, but no, you're really opening my eyes to the fact that I've never eaten out of Ruby Tuesdays.

Yeah, we should go.

Yeah.

Where do you think they're most prominent?

I don't know.

Not here.

Not here.

Definitely not here.

I've seen one.

I think maybe in New Jersey.

That sounds about right.

You can find almost anything in New Jersey.

Like a Sonic.

Yeah, 100% true.

What is your favorite, like, of those chains?

TGI Fridays, Applebee's, Chili's.

Like, what's your favorite?

Hardcore.

Hardcore.

I hope we have the same answer.

The bees.

100%.

Really, Applebee's is a neighborhood place.

Like, it's such a gorgeous institution.

It is.

It really is.

What do you get there?

Great diet, Coke.

It depends on, like, what I'm in the mood for.

Should we go to Applebee's for lunch?

I would love to.

I love the bees.

Me too, except I do believe there's one in the city, but Applebee's in the city is like not the vibe.

The only thing that I'll say, and I don't know if this is the fault of airports or if this is the fault of whoever owns and controls Applebee's and Chili's, but like these Chilies to Go, Applebee's, like those like janky establishments that aren't real are putting a horrific name on the Applebee's Chilies franchises.

Ben, I couldn't agree more, but I will not let you slander the good name of Applebee's because those are exclusively exclusively chilies.

They don't have Applebee's to go in airports.

Positive.

It's all chilies.

Really?

And I agree, it's disgracing the good name of Chilis.

Why do I have in my head?

It's like that game where they show you like two...

What's it called?

The Mandela effect.

Yeah.

I promise you, I've seen Applebee's to go

to stations in an airport.

No?

I've only really seen chilies.

Chilies.

Chilies.

Yeah.

Okay, but now I'm really hungry.

But do you know the conspiracy theory around that?

That they claim that we're living in two parallel universes, and sometimes you dip into one and into another and that's why you remember seeing an extra marshmallow on this box and I don't because we're living in different Mandela effect.

The Mandela effect because we're living in different realities simultaneously.

For those who don't know the Mandela effect, I found out about it on TikTok.

It's like you might have this very distinct memory of like what the fruit of the loom logo looks like.

Like it's a cornucopia with lots of fruits in it.

But actually in reality, the fruit of the loom logo doesn't have a cornucopia on it.

But it's like the way we perceived it.

So So you say that the Mandela effect is due to parallel universe.

I just say it's due to bad memory.

But it's not bad memory if it's if you're remembering more.

Also, I'm not sure if it's the Mandala effect or Mandela, but I'm not just putting that out there.

It's something with an M.

No, it's the same word, but I don't know how it's pronounced.

Mandela or Mandela.

I think Mandela.

Like Nelson?

Was it his?

No, I don't think so.

So Ben is joining me here for the toast today.

We have five stories

of varying

interests to you.

I tried to choose stories that you could speak on.

We're going to talk a little bit about Love is Blind, but mostly because I know you have a Love is Blind rant that you want to go on.

Is that correct?

Not a rant, just a distaste for the show.

By the way, I couldn't agree more.

And we've got some acting news, some space noobs, and I'm just excited that you're here.

Before we dive in, how are you?

I'm doing great.

I'm exhausted.

Many might not know that while you were on tour for three weeks, I too was on tour for three weeks.

Different type of tour.

It was a Spritz tour, then coupled with me watching all of your shows, which I have to say is really, really wonderful.

Tickets available at girlwithnojob.com slash tour.

Yes, I edit another show in Houston, and I'm playing the Madison Square Garden Theater May 5th in New York City.

Come see me.

Tickets available at girlwithnonjob.com/slash tour.

Sorry to interrupt.

No, you're not interrupting.

The show is really unbelievable.

Thanks, Paul.

Unbelievable.

And it's really nice to see, like, nobody else will know this, but like, we know some shows are better than others.

Right.

And when you get that amazing show, it's like, fuck yeah.

I have really enjoyed having you on tour with me.

The last time that we were, I was on tour, you were in a position where you couldn't come with me.

Yep.

But now that Spritz is the sponsor of the tour, we're doing all these pop-up meet-and-greets at Total Wines and Bevmo's.

You, and we're selling Spritz at most of the shows.

You have been able to come with me.

And I have to say, it's been such a delight, not only because there's someone to help me carry all my suitcases, but also because I'm not alone and I love having you.

Yes, it's been great.

It really has been great.

Are you enjoying it?

Yeah, I'm loving it.

Okay, good.

It's also just so cool to watch watch people love Spritz and love your show.

And like, if you guys didn't know, Claudia finishes every show by chugging a grapefruit Spritz.

And it's just like such a wonderful culmination of like...

two years of beautiful work both on the comedy and beverage side and it's it's just really nice.

Let me ask you something because I get asked all the time about like which shows coming up and for the most part we try to sell spritz at every single show but at the end of the day some elements are out of our control if the venue has like a legal exclusive contract with a certain other beverage.

Like not, it's not, I just did a show in Atlanta and we weren't able to sell it, which totally stunk, which wasn't our fault.

So coming up, do you know which shows, I'm going to Austin, Dallas, and Houston.

Do you know which shows we're going to be at?

Yeah, we're selling at every Texas show.

Great.

So I want to clarify, because I got a lot of DMs of people saying,

why aren't you selling at the Atlanta show?

All that I wanted to do was sell at the Atlanta show.

It's not even the venues.

You have to get licenses for each state.

And we haven't gotten our Georgia license yet.

It's just not.

It was not doable.

It wasn't doable.

Okay.

But Texas, we're going

hard in Texas.

Yeah.

And at the Madison Square Garden Show.

I mean, to be able to drink a Spritz at MSG.

Nuts.

Nuts.

What are you in?

Nuts.

Woody, nuts.

And very quickly, before we digress, if you haven't been able to try it in person and would like to try it online, have a wonderful, exclusive offer.

Go to spritzsociety.com and use code Toasters.

T-O-A-S-T-E-R-S, the S at the end, gives you a month month free.

It's buy two, get one three.

Subscription.

For subscription, 33% off.

The steepest deal, really, we offer.

Did really well the last time I was on the show.

People really liked it.

It's a good intro offer.

So, toasters with an S.

Buy two months, get one three.

I'm sorry to digress, but can we talk about your t-shirt?

Yeah.

What does it say?

Panic at the Costco.

Where does one purchase a t-shirt as awesome as that?

You literally Google Panic at the Costco and you get a random man from the UK who's gonna,

what's that called?

Screen print them?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

In his house.

Oh, good.

It's terrible material.

Like, I probably have, like, lice.

Scabies.

Something.

Scabies is lice of the body.

Really?

Yeah.

Scabies?

Scabies or scabies?

Scabies.

It sounds like a pirate term.

Yeah, it does.

Scurvy.

Scurvy.

Yeah.

Scurvy.

Yeah, you probably have scabies, so make sure to burn that shirt before you return.

Listening to a great shirt.

It's sickening.

I love a shirt with a message.

Yeah, because what do you do at Costco?

Panic.

I fucking, I just want to to go on the record and say I fucking hate Costco.

I just want to go on the record and say Costco is literally the greatest place on planet Earth.

You can go there for literally 90 beautiful baby croissants perfectly packaged in a lovely lucite tin.

You know what?

When we go on for $9.

When we go on vacation and we stay in a home with like a large pantry and a large kitchen, I'm excited by the idea of Costco.

I usually want other people to go for me, but I'm excited by the prospect of the bulk items.

Living in our apartment now, like,

where are people who live in apartments supposed to put all the that toilet paper costco's not made for us no it's not that's it okay costco's not made for us so we agree costco's made for one with a large home it's made for the shapiro beautiful pantry it's made for the shapiros the shapiros have everything from costco the shapiros literal like tvs their toilet paper their light switches like because they just renovated you can get literally everything at costco their daughter michaela was

was purchased at costco she was conceived at costco they got so excited her real name is kirkland

Kirkland Shapiro.

Kirkland Ashri Shapiro.

That is so fucking funny.

Okay, well, thanks for sharing that with us.

Of course.

And is there anything else you want to talk about before we dive into the Fast Five?

No, I'm very excited to be here, and I'm more than happy to come back anytime.

I know.

We're going to need you, depending on Jackie's availability.

So I say that we dive in.

Oh my god, I never get to do this part.

Okay.

Here are the Fast Five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

Why did you do that?

Beat the crunch.

No, no, we have a crunch.

I know, that's my game.

Can I beat it?

You don't remember that?

Was that not with you?

I wasn't here.

Oh, my game is, can you beat the crunch?

That is like literally the most annoying.

And I beat it.

I know I beat it.

If you listen back, I beat it.

Did we still get the crunch on the soundboard?

Of course.

Okay.

But I beat it.

You did.

I know.

Where did you come with that game?

All right.

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Okay, fast five, are you ready?

I am.

Am I sinking into this couch?

No, you look great.

I haven't changed positions at all.

Have you moved your microphone?

No, but it's much higher.

Yeah, okay, you can readjust.

I'm sinking.

Sit up.

No, but I'm just saying, like.

You could just move.

You don't, yeah, good.

Okay, ready?

Yes, I'm ready.

All right, big news in the rock and roll industry.

Dolly Parton responds to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Thanks, but no thanks.

So Dolly Parton has announced that she's pulling out of this year's nominations for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, saying she hasn't earned that right.

The music icon, who's been elected into the country music hall of fame, explained her decision in a statement posted on her official social media pages on Monday, noting she didn't want to take votes away from the remaining nominees.

Here's what she said.

Even though I am extremely flattered and grateful to be nominated for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, I do not feel that I've earned the right.

I really do not want votes to be split because of me, so I must respectfully bow out.

She also went on to say that like she would be open to being nominated once she does a rock and roll album, which she wants to do one day because her husband is like a huge rock and roll guy.

But at this point in time, our humble queen has decided to bow out.

Wow.

Yeah.

Bow wow, old friend.

Bow wow.

Very respectable.

I know.

Can you imagine being like that?

No.

No.

But it's so interesting.

Like, when you told me this story this morning, I thought that maybe she didn't accept it because like she was above awards.

No, no, no.

She's not at all.

It's quite the opposite.

She is so

appreciative.

Yeah, but like

why would Dolly Parton be nominated for she's like a country music icon?

Why would she be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame?

Here are some people who have been in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and the country Hall of Fame.

Brenda Lee, Johnny Cash, Elvis Presley, Chet Atkins, Hank Williams, and the Everly Brothers.

I mean.

And by the way, the other people nominated with Dolly Parton are Eminem, Lionel Ritchie, Duran Duran, and a tribe called Quest.

And the question was, why is she even nominated for Rock and Roll Hall of Fame?

Right.

And I guess there is.

Because

they probably are struggling like every other dumb award

and need more people to talk about the award so it doesn't completely lose relevancy.

That's true.

Which is why I thought you were going to say that she felt that she was above the award, that she didn't need it.

No, no, she's a humble queen.

Like, she doesn't.

It's clear she's never done rock and roll.

So why the fuck would she be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame?

That's like me being in the NFL honors.

It's a little different, but.

It's very similar.

Like, I've never played football.

I guess that's true.

No, I guess, okay.

It would be like me being,

I don't know, I can't think of a comparison.

Because she does music.

She just doesn't do rock and roll music.

Yeah.

Cool.

Yeah.

It's fine.

Like, we, I stand a queen who knows her place.

I really do.

Yeah, same.

And so now out of this nominees, who do you think should get in for rock and roll yeah I was gonna say none of them are rock and roll Lionel Ritchie's pretty rock and roll no he's not RB no he's R B Lionel Ritchie is an absolute king though right have you seen the music video for hello

it's it oh no no that's a Devil

is it me you're looking for Ben's favorite song I can see it in your eyes I can see it in your smile

stunning it's a wonderful song and a great music video so

I guess I really don't understand the criteria for who gets into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame because these people, Eminem, Lionel Ritchie, Duran Duran is a rock band.

Okay.

And I'm not familiar with a tribe called Quest.

Also not a rock band.

So based on this, who do you?

I mean,

none.

No, I would say Duran Duran.

Okay.

Is there a difference between the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and the Hollywood Hall of Fame?

Because it sounds pretty similar.

It's the Hollywood Walk of Fame, and it's incredibly different.

So the Hollywood Walk of Fame, you know, it's like the Hollywood Boulevard in LA.

Boulevard.

You're so annoying.

Hollywood Boulevard.

It's the Hollywood Boulevard Walk of Fame, where you get a plaque on the street for just outstanding performance in entertainment, generally.

Like Andy Cohen just got one.

You can get one for, I think it's for overall TV movies.

I don't think musicians really.

Yeah, no, musicians get it.

It's overall entertainment.

Yeah.

Snoopy, I'm right.

I'm just saying this also feels like overall entertainment.

It feels random.

It feels random.

It feels random.

For sure.

Well, wishing Dolly the best.

And we saw Dolly.

Oh, you weren't there.

I saw Dolly in Vegas.

She was the host of AC.

Did y'all see her in Vegas?

Yeah, she was the host of the ACM.

Oh, very cool.

And she was just, first of all, hosting an award show at any age is so hard.

Like, it's three hours of non-stop go, go, go.

You sing, you dance, you perform, you talk, you MC, you have outfit changes.

And she just did it with the utmost elegance and grace.

And it was really kind of sickening to be in the same building as Dolly.

Yeah, Dolly's great.

Dolly's everything.

I remember her as Hannah Montana's aunt.

A godmother, yes.

Godmother.

Yeah, I completely agree.

I love how, like, that's how our generation was introduced to Dolly Parton.

Yep.

Hannah Montana.

I love that reference.

We should watch Hannah Montana again.

Yeah, we should.

All right, next up is Love is Blind.

So the news is that Shana Hurley from Love is Blind is engaged after the Kyle split, and it's not to anyone from the show.

She's moving on.

The Love is Blind star Shana Hurley is engaged to her boyfriend, Christos Lardakis, after splitting from her Netflix co-star Kyle, according to people.

The outlet reports that Shana, 32, accepted a proposal from Lardarkis, Lardarkus, Lardakis, on Thursday, and that the couple has already made plans to tie the knot in Greece this summer.

Shana is engaged.

She's been dating Christos for almost a year, and this is the happiest I've ever seen her.

And Insider said he has stood by her through all the Love is Blind drama and has been her steady in the storm.

So like people are freaking out because like it appears to them she just got engaged on the show but this show was filmed a while ago.

I'm sure it's been well over a year since the two were ever romantically involved.

But

I don't really care because like I'm so over talking about these people and I did want to give you a platform to Tell us how you really feel about Love is Blind.

It's the dumbest show on TV.

Do you think this season was or just conceptually, the show is a dumb concept?

This is the only season I've seen.

Oh, okay, because the first season was like some of the best television I've ever watched in my entire life.

Cool.

I literally watched one episode of this season.

I was at the Shapiros, and I told them, I will not watch any more of this.

Let's go to the finale.

Yeah, well, then.

And then I watched the finale so I could understand what happens with these loony tunes.

These people are nuts.

So I did a Patreon episode kind of recapping the first five episodes when I was really into it.

And the overall consensus that I came to was like, so the first season was so good.

And first of all, we got two married couples who are still together.

This was like right before COVID.

So it's been a while.

How many couples go on the show in general?

Well, so they have like tons of people do the experiment and tons of people even get engaged, but the show only ends up following certain people because either the people who didn't end up getting married were boring.

So of the experiment, just because I do have a point here.

You said the first season, there are two couples that got married, stayed married.

So they classify that as a successful show.

How many people entered that room to date?

Probably 30, maybe more.

Okay, so I wonder if you run statistics.

I bet you're really blind.

No, I bet you one in 15 people, if they get married after three weeks, stay together.

One in 15.

I mean, like, I guess I get what you're saying, but like, I'm not so concerned as the experiment more than I'm concerned about just like entertainment value.

And that first season was so good.

Got it.

Okay.

And me and Jackie, we're recapping, and we think why it was so good is because, you know, we're used to watching TV shows like The Bachelor, where people just go on and they're just looking for fame, they're looking for Instagram followers, they're not really looking for love, and they're all just like

insanely good-looking, like to a point where it's just not realistic.

And with Love is Blind, it's like we just got normal people who looked normal, who acted normal, they weren't overly thirsty, they weren't ready to start YouTube channels, like they were just

normal people.

And that, I think, was part of the reason why the show was so successful.

The first season, the first season, got it, because that nothing you just said described this season, in my opinion.

So now the second season, I felt like the people they casted were so

before I saw them acting on social media afterwards, like just when I was watching the show, I was like, yes, these people are so normal to the point that they are so unbelievably boring.

Like they are like lifeless.

And I thought that the greatest thing about the show was now working against the show.

They casted people who were too normal.

But now they're all on social media, like acting a fool.

I can't.

Okay, so I don't even know if you know this.

So it is rumored that Kyle, who was engaged to Shana, is now dating Deeps.

Deep T.

I remember Deep Tee.

Okay.

What do you think about that?

I think that it, again, it's very, very hard to really tell.

It seems like Deep T really did go on that show with good intentions.

With good looking for love, even though I'm sorry.

Why?

Why would you go on a show looking for love?

If you really want love, don't go on a show.

Yeah, no, I agree.

But like, Ben, we're very blessed.

Like, it is hard to meet someone these days.

No, no, it's much harder to meet them on a reality show.

I I don't disagree.

It's much easier to meet them through friends or at a bar or on Tinder.

Yep.

It just, if you're really looking for love, that's the thing that's flawed with all of this.

Like just acknowledge that people are, this is a great plot for a show.

You want to become, you want to get hundreds of thousands of followers on Instagram.

You want to be in the public eye.

And you have a chance, you know, maybe you'll like someone there.

That's a good plot.

What's the plot?

The plot is just partying and having a good time, which is what these shows are anyway.

That's a great thing.

Getting people overly drunk.

That's Love Island.

Great.

So, Love Island makes sense.

Yeah, Love Island's a great show.

Except, why is it called Love Island?

Because they're on an island.

It should be called Influencer Island.

No, but they're literally on an island and they're all like hooking up.

Yeah, but it's not love.

There have been many couples, Shannon and Josh, who grace that couch.

It could end up being love.

But that's like the goal of the show.

That's not the goal.

No, it is.

It's not, though.

No, no, it's literally the goal of the show.

Okay.

It's a good show.

So congrats to Shana on her engagement.

I will probably not be keeping up with Love is Mind anymore.

Like, this season just really was such a time waster.

Like, who did Shana originally like?

Shane.

Oh, brutal.

Brutal.

Just nuts, honestly.

And, like, actually, I don't even want to talk about it.

It'll set him off.

Set who off.

Shane.

He'll find it.

The guy was really, really crazy.

Yeah, Natalie.

And then the girl that he was dating

was equally as crazy and like mean.

They were just mismatched.

Terrible.

Honestly, like, I just couldn't watch the show.

But so, they were mismatched, but the entire time they're standing on the altar talking about,

I can't believe I'm bringing up with my best friend.

Oh my God, you met three weeks ago.

How are you best friends?

It doesn't make any sense.

That's the whole thing.

Everyone, I've grown, you're my best friend.

You're my everything.

I can't believe it.

Like, I can't believe how close we've gotten.

Like, what?

You spent half the show in a box talking to each other and then two weeks in person.

And you got, like, engaged and your best friends.

Like these people are so reckless.

Ben, I couldn't agree more, but you're my best friend.

Yeah, of course.

After 10 years.

No, it's a good point.

Like the best friend thing is like so.

They all say it though because they don't know what else to put in their fake ass vows because how are you supposed to have vows about somebody you just met?

Ben has literally become unhinged.

Isn't that true?

No, by the way, I couldn't agree more.

They all say the same shit.

It's so boring.

And like you.

Oh, also getting married at that brothel where they just fucking whore people in and out in the same exact room

yeah it's fucked up that's gross yeah it's fucked up oh deep tea you're done now it's time for shame

come on in guys my best friend love you

it's sick

you were being so funny oh my god

it's sick I agree and it's it was really like a waste of my time and I feel like that's an unpopular opinion because people are like dying like Kyle and Deep T were spotted together like people are just like gagging like I could not care less Yeah, they were spotted together because this entire media paparazzi news cycle is begging you begging you to have

just go back to it and keep your attention on the show and talk about it.

Yeah, oh my gosh.

So fake and manufactured and stupid.

Ben, that was like top five, one of my favorite moments ever with you.

Thank you so much for bringing joy to millions of toasters, including, but not limited, to Kylie Jenner.

I told Ben.

Yeah.

I'm sorry, that's not nature.

Okay, I just want to say it was nature, and then there was a nail, and then there was a message that Jackie and I received.

Can't say from who, can't say from what, but it was, it was pretty much a confirmation of what we had believed.

I forgot.

I got the DM this morning.

I forgot.

Really?

Yeah.

I mean, you could sneak something else in.

Like, yeah, no, but I'm we're gonna ask Kylie for another sign when Jackie's back on Monday because we don't know for a fact that Kylie tunes into the guest co-host episodes like maybe she's a ride or die OG Jack and Claude Stan.

It's possible.

Okay.

So we're going to wait till Monday to ask for another sign.

But just know, like you are listening to a podcast that like Kylie Jenner most likely listens to, and that should make you feel good going about your day.

Before we dive in, I'm really excited about the next sponsor because it's Purple, which is the brand of my Smelly Pillow.

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Let's be honest, have you kind of felt threatened in the bedroom by Smelly Pillow?

You definitely love it, and I would say that it is your adult stuffed animal that you sleep with.

100%.

You have the same type of need for Smelly Pillow as I did for a teddy bear when I was nine.

Don't lie, nine.

How old are you really?

But then I lost it.

I left it in a cab.

Oh my God, you're lying.

It was the saddest day of my life.

I left a sleepover.

Left him in the cab.

Did you, were you in the cab by yourself?

I think so.

Maybe I was 13.

You were 11, taking a cab by yourself?

Maybe I was 13.

Ben, don't lie.

How old were you when you used a teddy bear?

17?

No, no, no.

This was in middle school, but whenever it was the end, maybe 12, 13.

That's so crazy you were taking a cab by yourself.

He was blue and beautiful.

Oh.

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

He's gone now.

Well, that touch you got for being irresponsible.

Totally.

It's the consequences of your own activity.

I shouldn't have taken him anywhere.

I should have left him at home.

100%.

Like, something that important should never leave the house.

I also have to.

But would you have been that kid at a sleepover like crying calling your mom like mom I can't sleep without my smelly pillow.

No.

Okay.

I just wouldn't I would tell her to pick me up.

Were you that kid?

It's not I can't sleep.

Were you that kid who like occasionally would need to get picked up?

Yeah.

From sleepovers?

Really?

Unless I had, if I had my blue bear and I had my Honeywell fan.

You brought your own fan to sleepovers.

Every single sleepover of my life.

Are you being serious?

Yes, and if I didn't have it, I couldn't sleep.

Honey well.

Why?

Because of the cold?

Cold and sound.

Yeah, you love like a sound machine.

Asleep.

Oh, my God.

You are lying that you.

I would show up with a fan and a bear.

You would pack up your things at your house, be like, mom, let's leave in five.

And you would just throw a fan into your duffel.

Bring my fan and my bear.

How big was this fan?

Was it a box?

No, like, no, you don't, no, like a box fan.

Box fan would be bigger than me.

Yeah.

No, like, you know, like those.

Bigger than you when you were 12?

No, it's true.

Same size.

You know, those Honeywell fans that's...

They have a stand?

Like, they're flat.

No.

It's not like a big...

So it's a box fan?

No, it's like this big.

And it has like a stand and then a neck with the circle?

It doesn't have a neck.

The honeywell is only tilted up and down.

So it has a neck because it moves up and down.

No, a neck would imply that you can go like this.

What does your neck do?

Just this?

No, your neck goes like this.

Ben, you are being so funny today.

No, that's a good call.

No, the Honeywell fan has like a tilt.

A tilt, yeah, that's what I meant.

That's not a neck.

Okay, you know what I meant.

Okay.

Do you understand the fan I'm talking about?

I can't believe we used to bring fans to a sleepover.

Like you were so funny.

Yeah, it was great.

Yeah.

That's it.

Cool.

Cool.

Okay, well, sorry, there's still more stories.

Okay, done with Love is Blind.

What should we go next?

Oh, some heartbreaking news.

Sandra Bullock is taking a break from acting.

So Sandra Bullock has a new movie coming out, but she's planning on stepping back from acting.

While promoting her film, Lost City, which co-stars Channing Tatum and Brad Pitt, Sandra Bullock told Entertainment Tonight that she's not sure how long of a break she'll be taking, but she said she does know that she wants to be in the place that makes her the most happy.

She says, I take my job very seriously when I'm at work, and I just want to be 24-7 with my babies and my family.

That's where I'm going to be for a while.

Sandra Bullock is a mother to Lewis, 12, and Layla, 10.

She...

What does she have planned with her kids?

She plans on servicing their every need, including their social calendar.

Okay, so Sandra Bullock is taking a break, and I just like would love to be in a place in my life where I could just like decide to stop working for like a few months, you know?

You did.

When?

Paternity leave when you weren't pregnant?

Excuse me.

I'm running a business and we value family leave, something you wouldn't know anything about, okay?

Value family leave.

Certainly.

Totally.

By the way, like, let it be known that for three out of four of the maternity weeks, I was working.

You were on sorry.

Totally.

Bitch, okay.

Okay, I'm just kidding.

Wow.

Okay, sorry.

Bitch.

So yeah, Center Bill's taking a break from acting.

How do you think that's going to shake up the Hollywood industry?

It just sounds a lot like Tom Brady.

Like, I'm retiring.

Big headlines.

I'm back.

I think

what I think about Tom Brady?

Unretiring.

I'm thrilled by it because he's amazing and he shouldn't have retired.

I also think that the fact that he never thanked the Patriots in his retirement speech was really fucked up.

Because he's the greatest player of all time because

everything that happened with the Patriots.

The Patriots drafted him, him and Bill Belichick, him and his great receivers.

No, you're right.

The most recent of his

sort of accolades was with the Bucs.

But his life of becoming a Hall of Famer was with the Patriots.

So I think this gives him a second chance to come back,

maybe win another championship, and do it right.

So my thoughts were that Tom Brady should have retired the first season after the Bucs.

Like, he just

went out with a bang, a Super Bowl win.

He proved he didn't need the Patriots.

Like, he loved it, but he could have done it.

He was still the greatest of all time, no matter what team he went to.

So, now do you think he's waiting to win before retiring?

It's possible.

Because, don't you want to go?

You don't want to go out a loser, especially.

Because he could give a legacy.

And he's so competitive.

Right.

Yeah.

Did you hear about the guy that paid $555,000?

Do you guys talk about this already?

No, but can you explain it to me?

So, after Tom Brady retired, there's obviously the last touchdown that he'll ever throw.

And the guy bought that ball at an auction for half a million dollars.

Oh my gosh.

But it's no longer the last touchdown ball he'll ever throw.

So the guy spent half a million dollars on

he gets fucked.

You're kidding.

No, I mean, this is a very, very rare circumstance.

Right.

Or actually, it used to be.

It's becoming less rare.

Right, because shit is just changing.

You know, athletes are now like doing like encores and like pretending that they're not going to come back out on stage and then they do.

do bronch it.

Like Bronk did it.

Who else did it?

Tom Brady did it.

There are way more that have done it.

Whatever.

I'm blanking.

No, I don't.

People come out of retirement fairly often these days.

Got it.

Okay, I thought you were going to say, do you remember the guy in the stands who like caught Tom Brady's last touchdown ball?

And then they took it away from him and gave him a bunch of crypto?

Yeah, and then Tom Brady was like, actually, can I have that back?

Because we need to auction it.

And what did they give him?

They gave him like a Bitcoin, which at the time was worth $70,000 grand and is now worth 39,000.

Bitcoin is crashing?

It's not crashing, but it's fluctuating.

It's on the lower end right now.

Okay.

What else did they give him?

Other like signed shit.

But nothing is valuable.

But now I bet he's happy because that ball is not.

Is that the ball?

I don't know.

That's what I was asking.

If that was the ball, he should be thrilled.

Yeah, because he just got.

Even though actually now, it's funny.

You can spin things.

Like now, the ball is the controversy ball.

And like, I'm sure it's still worth a lot of money because it's the ball that was supposed to be the touchdown that isn't the touchdown.

And collectors just go nuts for serious one-of-one things like that.

Yeah.

So I'm sure it still holds value, but not near.

I don't think it should be.

But it doesn't hold as much value as Sandra Bullock taking a break from acting.

No, I didn't even know she was still acting.

Yeah, me neither.

What was the last thing?

Oh, she was in that Netflix movie.

No, she was in that Netflix movie that everyone died for, Bird Box, where they were all covering their eyes, but I never watched it because I don't like scary movies.

I didn't see it.

I think so.

The last thing I saw Sandra Bullock in, oh, Oceans 45 or whichever.

No, no, anyone.

She was also in space recently.

You mean space of the movie?

No, in a space movie?

Yeah, a movie about space.

Like, she didn't go to space.

No, no.

Well, we have a story about someone going to space.

She was recently in a movie about space.

Not recently, maybe the last four years.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

COVID really just warped time for me.

I think that movie about space with Sandra Bullock, when you look it up, might have come out in 2016.

Okay, I'll tell you.

Hold on.

I think it was called Gravity.

Sandra Bullock movie about space.

Was it 2016?

It was called Gravity and it was 2013.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, 2013.

No, life is so long, but it's so short.

Oh my god, that's crazy.

I never saw it, though.

Me neither.

Was it good?

Oh, you didn't see it?

Me neither.

So yeah, I just think that like a Hollywood will never be the same.

Yeah, totally.

Actors and actresses take themselves very seriously.

I know.

It's like, that's why I can't watch the Oscars.

I'm like, these people are so out of touch.

Very seriously.

But also, like, again,

probably just her publicist and team actually taking their jobs too seriously.

Yeah.

I'm sure Sandra Bullock didn't come out and say, guys, we need to run press about me leaving Hollywood.

You know what?

The last line in this article from CNN Entertainment says, Lost City hits theaters on March 25th.

It's like promo for the movie.

It's promo for the movie.

But can I tell you how crazy, like, I went looking for stories this morning on every single website that Sandra Bullock story was at the top when it's like not even breaking news?

No.

We're on.

PR team.

Okay.

Our last two stories are Pete and Kim.

Skeet.

Skeet, but they're separately and they're not really about the Kanye stuff.

But if you do have any thoughts, you're more than willing, more than welcome to jump in.

But this story is about Kim Kardashian's brand Skims.

They are debuting an inclusive Skims swim line featuring innovative separates and one-piece suits.

So Kim Kardashian's Empire is expanding.

The beauty and fashion Mogul41 announced on Twitter and Instagram that her ultra-popular brand Skims will be dropping its first swimwear line this Friday.

They posted a series of photos, including photos of herself modeling the new looks in the water and on the shore.

So they, obviously, they're just swimsuits.

There's bikinis, there's one pieces, there's cutouts.

There's also like very Kim-like, like biker shorts and a tank top that are now bathing suits.

Are they going to be in the color of like nudes?

No, they're blue, they're gray.

They're colorful.

No, they're not like beyond bright and colorful, but they're muted colors, like very Skims brand.

I saw a bunch of influencers of all different sizes and shapes getting them on TikTok, and they all had rave reviews, like saying the material was so great, the colors were so great, the fit was so great.

Of course, Skims has gotten to be a $3 billion company, I think, mostly because they're incredibly size-inclusive, and the bathing suits are going to be no different.

So, while this isn't like life-changing news, I did think it was really interesting because not too long ago, Kylie dropped Kylie Swim.

It's still in her Instagram bio as her

list of businesses, but it did get like kind of roasted online for you know the material being kind of see-through and just like not being the greatest quality.

And I always wonder when Kardashian brands

converge, like KKW Beauty and Kylie Cosmetics,

where's the competition, you know?

So I don't know if Kylie Swim is like still gonna be a thing because she did one drop and then like we haven't really heard from her.

And it appears as though this Skim's swim is gonna be extremely successful.

Like I'm calling it.

What do you think?

How many more followers does Kylie have than Kim?

Great question.

I'll tell you right now.

Kim has

it's so crazy that Kylie has more.

Kim has 292.

Holy shit.

And Kylie has 318.

So

that's like an entire nother A-list actor in terms of reach.

Right.

So what I'm trying to say is that you said that the reason why Skims is so successful is because they're so inclusive.

Like, sorry.

No, that's not true.

No.

It's definitely a nice, it's really nice, and every brand should be inclusive so that I could go to Paul Smith and get a fucking t-shirt instead of being this narrow.

Right, right.

It's a nice thing.

No, but I'm saying having that many followers doesn't guarantee a successful business.

No, having that many followers, though, with a great product

does guarantee something.

Yes, and so like Kylie has 318 million followers.

She launched Kylie Swim, and I think it would generally be considered a flop.

The brand hasn't posted on Instagram since October 2021.

So I wasn't saying if it's a flop or not.

I was just saying that you said in terms of competing businesses, them both going into swim or

makeup or whatever, I'm saying that Kylie has an extra 40 million people that she could talk to that maybe aren't fans of Kim.

27.

25.

27.

Okay, so maybe it's a bad call.

No, like, I just think, and this is the thing with the Kardashians that people never like to give them credit for.

It's like, yeah, they're the most famous people in the world.

Of course, they're going to be rich.

But like, they have achieved

levels of successful business that are just beyond.

Skims is for $3 billion.

KKW Beauty sold for a billion dollars.

Kylie Cosmetics was valued with Coat, Cody, whatever, at a billion dollars.

Like, that just doesn't happen because you're famous.

Like, it's another level

of success and, like, business.

Yeah, and they surround themselves with really smart business minds, too.

No, but they're also smart.

Why do you have to say that?

Would you say that about a man?

Of course I would.

I forget her name.

There's somebody that I found on Instagram that it looks like she runs all of their businesses.

Tracy Romulus?

I don't know.

Emma?

From Shark Tank?

No.

Oh, maybe?

Yeah, she.

What's her name?

Emma what?

Emma Greed or Greed?

Yeah, I think that's yeah.

Yes, she was just on Shark Tank, by the way.

So she was like the initial investor in Good American.

She launched Good American with Chloe, and now I believe she's involved in Skim.

She's like this gorgeous queen, and she was just on Shark Tank, and I like fell in love with her.

I just started following her on Instagram, too.

She was so good on Shark Tank, like really valuable insights.

I think you would enjoy the episode.

Yeah.

I hope she does another one.

I'm not taking anything away from them.

By the way, it means a lot to also assemble a great team.

I agree.

Like, I just think it was weird.

that was the first thing you said.

Oh, God.

Ben hates women.

Yep, that's me.

How does your sister and your mom and your wife feel about that?

Interesting.

Yeah.

Interesting.

I'll remember.

I'll remember.

Yeah, you should.

I'll remember.

So

Skims Swim is coming.

I actually feel like I might be purchasing some Swim.

I trust Skims is just a great brand.

Can you believe they're valued at $3 billion?

Yes.

You can believe it?

Yes.

I think it's so crazy.

They sell out of everything.

Yeah.

They,

to your point, have a great product.

I felt the material on the USA Collab Jammies.

Yeah, my favorite product.

Great material.

And they've just captured drop culture.

Like, nobody can.

That was like, like, also the Kylie Lipkits.

That was so back in the day.

Like, I remember in college, like, literally being on KylieLipkits.com, like, refreshing, refreshing, refreshing.

And I think one of my greatest claims to fame is I was able to get like two out of three of the OG Kylie Lipkits.

Amazing.

Yeah, those were the days.

Okay, well, we still have one more story.

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It's the final story.

It's the final story.

Ready?

Pete Davidson and five paying customers are going to fly on Jeff Bezos' suborbital rocket into space.

Cool.

So Pete Davidson will become the latest celebrity to fly to space with Jeff Bezos' rocket company, Blue Origin, in a brief suborbital flight slated for later this month.

The company announced Monday morning that Davidson, the Saturday Night Live star who's become a pillar of entertainment intrigue amid his relationship with Kim Kardashian, will fly alongside five paying customers on Blue Origin's 60-foot-tall new Shepard rocket.

The launch is slated for March 23rd at 8.30 a.m.

Central Time, and the announcement comes after CNN confirmed earlier that Davidson was in talks with the company for a seat aboard its supersonic rocket, which launches vertically from a rural Texas launch pad on Bezos's ranch.

Okay, would you ever go to space?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Do you think there's like a chance like of you dying?

No.

Like if you got the opportunity, like I don't think I would want you to go.

I would definitely go.

I think I would too.

Yeah.

But like would you pay?

Like no.

I think, right, I think what's embarrassing about this is like the five paying customers.

And how much?

Like give the money to charity.

Like you obviously have too much.

It's a lot.

Because I think me and Jackie were talking about it.

One of these, like, it's not like a full trip to space where you're like in a rocket.

You just, it's like 20 minutes.

Like, you go up and down.

It's a supersonic.

That's what all these celebrities, Richard Branson, they're all doing that.

And in order to do one successful supersonic trip, I think it costs like $250,000.

So your tickets need to be equal to $250,000.

So what's $250,000 divided by five?

What's 50 grand?

That's not, there's no way.

Yeah, no, it's a lot.

No, that to me me would be a little.

Yeah, no, I think it's probably more than that.

There's no way that it's 50 grand.

But that's what it costs Jeff Bezos, 250 grand.

It's a great business model for him.

Right.

He gets to send people to space.

There's no way he's charging anything less than a quarter of a million dollars.

That's insane money.

Like, people are so wasteful.

Yeah, but one time, if you're really loaded, you want to go up, peek at space, it's kind of cool.

Yeah, I guess.

Again, do you think Kim is going to be waiting down

to the ranch for Pete?

Actually, no.

Like, if she wanted to go, she could go.

Right.

No, or maybe she just wants to, like, witness it.

Interesting.

Do you think they're cute?

Like, what's your vibe?

Um, I love Pete Davidson.

I've always thought he was hysterical and, like, literally the only reason why SNL is still on TV

is because Pete Davidson and Keenan Thompson have carried the fucking show on their back.

Kate McKinnon and Kate McKinnon.

And Kate McKinnon.

Yep.

And what's her name, actually?

Chloe Feynman.

No.

No.

A.D.

Bryant.

Yes.

Yeah, I agree.

Love her.

Yeah.

But Pete.

Right.

It's, I think, part of the reason why SNL has remained like firmly in popular culture at least.

And his roasts are so good.

Like, he's always, he's now like a pillar like

the roast.

What the hell?

Jeff Ross.

Jeff Ross.

I can't remember anybody's names.

I was about to say Bob Ross.

He's a pillar like Jeff Ross of these roasts, and they're just so good.

So the question was, what do you think about them as a couple?

I know you got off track.

No, no, I was getting there.

Okay.

No, no, I was just really being helpful.

God.

I was being helpful, I swear.

I was not being a bitch.

I think that it's like

a little weird, but the relationship?

Why?

I don't know.

I don't know.

Age?

I'm not sure.

What don't you like about it?

Let's talk it through because you're wrong.

So I want to get you to the right side.

I don't know.

No, I don't think that it's weird now.

I think that it just felt weird then, but I guess maybe it felt weird because...

It definitely felt random, but like not really.

Pete is known for dating the most eligible women in Hollywood, and Kim just became a single eligible woman.

I guess that that's the piece, though, that, like, in just such a superficial Hollywood, it just is a little bit strange to me.

Like, I love the idea of all of these people valuing humor over everything else.

Right, because you're saying he's not conventionally good-looking, he's not conventionally good-looking, and he's not conventionally rich.

He is, well, not compared to her.

There's just, no, there are just things that you are used to superficial Hollywood thought holding value in.

And Pete has broken down those barriers.

Yeah, no question.

He has.

Yeah, he has.

We love that.

No, we do.

I'm just saying it seemed strange in the beginning.

Now it seems lovely.

Yeah.

But I'm a big fan of Pete's.

I'm just saying that it's a strange.

It doesn't sound like you're a big fan of it.

No, no, I am.

It seems like you are literally with pitchforks.

No, because like I really think that this is the best relationship of all time.

Like when they break up, I will be so sad.

No, it is, but you need to definitely admit that it was a very different and shocking choice.

For Kim?

For Kim.

Why?

I don't know.

Why the hell would she be with Chris Humphreys?

Because he's an NBA player, because he's good-looking, and because he's rich.

I think.

Pete David is more rich than Chris Humphreys.

That's just a lie.

Really?

Is Chris Humphreys good?

It doesn't matter.

He's an NBA player.

They probably made $100 million.

Pete Davidson is like a really successful comedian.

He's on SNL.

He has

done a lot of movies.

They're not even close.

How much money?

Okay, that's a good question.

How much money do you think Pete Davidson has?

Like, the Pete Davidson today, I guarantee you he has more money today than he's had the rest of his career and I bet you that his net worth is literally a million dollars all right let's say I don't think you're right how much money his net worth is eight million dollars and by the way I bet you that went up seven since he started dating Chris Humphrey's net worth I don't know why we're comparing Chris Humphrey by the way not net worth career earnings oh okay because his net worth was really high Okay, so it'll be career earnings.

Oh, I didn't know that was a thing.

Oh, my God.

And now I want to go through every single person.

And now I want to go through every single person.

$82 million.

And now I want to go through every single person that Kim has dated.

Why?

Because this is important.

I'm right.

What are you right about?

What's the point?

I'm not understanding.

The point is that the reason why it was a strange choice is because, based on her historical preference of men, she's been married for 10 years.

Based on her historical preference of men, including her current, her past husband.

So Reggie Bush.

Okay.

Chris Humphreys.

Reggie Bush.

Money looks fame.

Yeah.

Humphreys, money looks fame.

Pete, money looks fame, just like on a different scale.

No, Kanye, money looks fame.

The most famous person ever.

Pete.

Yeah, but now Kim is the most famous woman on the planet.

She doesn't need.

I understand, which is why she chose to pick somebody that she really liked, which I value.

And I think it's great.

I'm not sure what your message is here, but I think we are agreeing.

What my message here is, is that the original choice caught me off guard because I typically know Kim's relationships, at least from a bird's eye eye view,

to be rather superficial.

Yeah, no, by the way.

And this one seems to have come from a place of

love.

Okay, I agree.

You

coming for me with a pitch for me.

I just really wasn't understanding what you were saying, and I'm still not like 100% sure what you were saying, but I know that I love you, and I agree with you.

How don't you know what I'm saying?

Every single person that Kim started dating was rich, good-looking, and famous.

She started dating Pete, and he was

good-looking and famous.

Do you think Pete Davidson is a good-looking guy in a unique way, for sure?

Okay,

yeah.

I just want to let you know: like, the general consensus, like, from popular culture, is like Pete Davidson is hot

in a different way.

Okay, that's fine.

Not as hot as you, obviously.

Now, by the way, I don't care.

I just

he's not good-looking by the standards of this Hollywood regime.

Not the regime.

He doesn't look like them.

100%, 100%.

I just feel like let's.

You're twisting my words.

I'm really just sitting here.

You're twisting my words.

I think we should just put a fork in it, you know?

I'm very happy for them.

Those were the fast five stories.

Ben, thank you so much for joining us.

Is there anything else you want to just chit-chat about, or are we free to go?

No, we're free to go.

Just again.

Code Toasters with an S.

T-O-A-S-T-E-R-S.

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Beautiful box, beautiful experience, and

now an award-winning cocktail.

I don't know if we've mentioned that.

I don't think we have.

We are award-winning.

The grapefruit won an award at the San Francisco Wine Festival, which is extremely prestigious.

Maybe you haven't heard of it, but it's a real wino thing to know, you know?

And all of the cocktails rated a 95 out of 100 on Pure Wow.

They are just unbelievable beverages.

Wow.

We made them because taste matters and life's too short for drinks you don't love.

They're literally the best thing.

Like, I don't don't know what I drink and like what I was drinking before, but.

Garbage.

Garbage.

Like, it's this or tequila.

Like, that's it.

That's it.

And you can mix this with tequila.

When I'm at a party or something that doesn't have spritz, like, I feel it.

Like, I'm like addicted.

Not addicted.

I'm, like, obsessed with spritz.

Yeah, they're the best.

So, yeah.

Code toasters with an S.

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Get the third free in a glorious subscription.

Ben, you're the best.

Thank you so much for being here.

Thank you, darling, for having me.

We will, of course, be back.

Yes, I will.

But until then, toasters, tomorrow.

Taylor Streker's on the show tomorrow.

That'll be fun and easy.

She's just a pro, just like you.

And until then, have a great day.

Thank you so much for listening to The Morning Toast, the Millennial Morning Show, where we deliver the fast-five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

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Hope you guys have an amazing day.

Ben, I love you.

Love you.

And you want to say something to the toasters?

Like, bye.

Bye.

Bye-bye.