S5 Ep26: A Knock Down, Drag Out Episode: Friday, February 11th, 2022

Good morning, Millennials.

Happy Friday.

Welcome back to the morning toast, the final one before my maternity leave.

Hey, Claude, how are you doing?

Hello, Jacqueline.

I'm feeling somber, sad, depressed, and excited for you, obviously.

But it's amazing.

Because you're going to miss me so much.

So much.

Obviously, don't get me wrong.

I'm human.

I'm looking forward to my maternity leave.

But, you know, this show is the best part of my day.

I know everyone loves it.

So a month off is going to be hard, but you're such a hero for literally only taking a month off.

And then I feel like there's been actually a decent amount of confusion.

So let's just be super clear.

Jackie's taking a full month off starting today.

Yes.

And there's been confusion because like the plans are in flux and I'm trying to give myself flexibility.

So I can't tell you like exactly, but yes, full month off starting today.

Then the show will resume.

Let me get you a date.

Let me get you the people a date for when the show will come back.

I believe it's March 14th.

It's March 14th.

Monday, March 14th, the show comes back.

And for the next two months after that, it's going to be a rotating orchestra of fabulous people.

Jackie will show up when she can.

And when she doesn't feel like it, she will not be showing up.

And I'm going to be bringing in Ben, Taylor Strecker, Brian, anyone who's in town who wants to host.

If you're an influencer and you want to come on, do reach out to me.

We are going to be needing lots of co-hosts.

So if you're listening to this and you think you're funny and great and you have, you know, some followers, please reach out.

Yeah.

And now even with the new interface, like Claude could do it remotely.

Obviously, it's best to do a co-host in studio,

but you could get a remote co-host if, you know, they're worth, if they're worth the dial-up connection.

Yeah, there's a couple people I have on my radar.

I definitely, and I haven't even spoken to them about it.

So I definitely want Remy Bader.

She's going to have to do it.

Okay.

I want, oh, do you know Girl Boss Town?

No.

GBT.

I've been DMing with her.

She's like an OG breather toaster who blew up on tick tock she does she's like a kardashian she's worse than us like kardashian diehard and she does all these like pr predictions on tick tock and she does like if i was you know and then she picks different influencers and celebrities if i was their publicist this is what i would do for them and she blew up and she has really good content and she's a toaster so i'm gonna reach out to her i'm gonna reach out to literally anyone who wants to come so it'll be fun it'll be a hodgepodge of messiness which is so on brand i'm excited to watch it because i feel like being a new mom is actually the perfect format for being a toaster.

At least that's what I've heard from new mom toasters out there.

So on the days where I'm not hosting with you, I'm excited to watch and I'll come in as much as I can.

I just, you know, I don't know what my schedule is going to be like.

Don't know what Elsie's going to be needing.

And so

I can't say for certain where I'll be.

But you can also, on days you don't want to come in, we can do these types of episodes.

Right.

So it'll be just, you know, a new journey every day.

Thank you for only taking a month off.

I think that's really generous of you.

And you could have taken more time off if you wanted, but you are literally so bizarre because you're still here.

And I can't even fathom that.

Like you and your mucus plug, I just can't.

Well, I'm happy to report that I did get a good night's sleep last night.

So I'm, I'm as primed and ready for my last day as possible.

Yesterday was really a struggle for me.

I felt like I got no sleep, but I slept really good last night.

So I'm ready to give everything that we have to the show.

And I'm really going to miss you guys.

I've started to get some DMs from people of like, you know, end of camp vibes.

Like, we're going to miss you.

And we're so happy for you.

And LC.

And it's like really making me emotional.

No, it's the end of the summer.

We're living 10 months for two.

Yeah.

And next summer we're coming back.

There's going to be new campers in the bunk, which is always so exciting, but the bunk won't be this bunk.

No, this is the last time we're going to podcast where we're just like two gals living recklessly, you know?

Yeah.

Yeah, exactly.

And so even though I'm so excited for what comes next, it's, it's change and it's here.

I can't wait, but I have thoroughly enjoyed these last few years of doing what we do, do, doing it with you.

But life,

life goes on.

That is like the saddest thing.

I know, because you're really like anti-change.

Ugh, beyond.

I know it.

I know it's hard for you.

And I try to embrace change.

I think it's like exciting and there's also like no other choice, But you have chosen, you have chosen not to in general, not just pertaining to me.

Like in life in general, you change.

No, life.

You don't like change.

No.

Like, I just want things to stay like this forever.

Yeah.

You wish for happiness like this forever?

Forever.

Oh, my God.

I'm literally the child from

Greatest Show.

Greatest Showman.

Yeah.

Okay, well, we promised to make it a knockdown drag out episode.

I finally got that phrase right.

Knockdown, drag out episode.

You got that phrase right.

And also we need to say pennies and nickels.

The phrase you were looking for was,

what was the phrase?

Pennywise, pound foolish.

Oh man, I almost forgot it.

Yeah.

Pennywise, pound foolish.

This week I've had trouble like summing up my arguments because the phrase that like applies just hasn't come to the tip of my tongue.

But thanks to the toasters, I know that it's knockdown, drag out, and pennywise, pound foolish.

So that's so me.

That's so you.

You have pregnancy, brain, by proxy.

That's, you know, I'm an empath.

So I feel things deeply for other people.

And that's kind of what I'm going through.

That's also why I've gained weight recently.

Like I'm just doing all of this for you.

Thank you so much.

It's like Brew also.

You guys have a lot in common.

Both of you are like pregnant by proxy.

Well, also something exciting that's coming up is Bruno's coming to live with me for who knows how long, whenever you feel like taking him back but of course we have to ease him into the baby.

I just do want to let you know while Bruno will be here there is a slight chance that my in-laws kidnap him like they have not stopped texting me like when can we get Bruno because they love to help out like Theo's going to their house today to spend the weekend because I'm going on tour and they are have not stopped talking about it.

They're so excited.

So like there's just going to be Bruno Bruno's one of those lucky kids who have a surplus amount of people in his life who love him and want the best for him.

Everybody wants to watch Bruno, which is so heartwarming for me.

I'm really, that's the only thing that's like bittersweet

that I will be without Brew.

And we have just become like so codependent over these last few months that he's going to be staying with you.

But I know he's going to have so much fun.

And I think he's ready for a bit of an adventure.

And the timetable, it says, like, I could always just come and get him.

Like, you're down the block.

So it's nothing.

100%.

But I am going to miss Brew while just, you know, transitioning to bringing everything home.

But I've gotten a lot of good suggestions from people on how to introduce baby and dog.

And the suggestion is like to give the dog a blanket that smells like the baby so that they get acclimated to the smell.

And then when they finally meet the baby, it's like, oh, I know this person.

And what do I do with the blanket?

Like I leave it in his crate?

Yeah, I think leave it in his crate.

Okay, cool.

I have to pack up.

And I'm also looking for things, including heating pad.

You're going to have to like set him up nicely.

Well,

I have the biggest heating pad.

I basically have like a heated mattress, so there's no problem.

But I am actually looking forward.

I've thought for years about getting a second dog.

And so like, this is really a good test run for me to see if that's even something I could remotely handle.

And if it's something that Theo could handle, because I...

I mean, Theo is magnanimous king, of course, but I'm really curious as to like what the dynamic is going to be like.

And if he's going to be like older brother, if he's going to be like, this is my house, back off, know your place.

So I actually actually have a feeling we are going to return Bruno to you, a different dog.

Theo has this calming, relaxed energy.

And Bruno is definitely still growing out of his like energized, puppy, zoomy phase.

And Theo just has this way of calming people down.

And I think Bruno will definitely feed, depending on how long he's here for, I think he'll definitely feed off of that energy from Theo.

And he might return to you like a grown-up boy.

Well, the thing is that's so funny is when Bruno is solo, like he is so calm, chill, like

beyond.

When he's with other dogs, he gets so excited.

So like Theo doesn't know calm Bruno because Bruno's so excited to be around him.

You know?

So if you return him to me any calmer than he is all the time, like

he'll be dead.

It's not a funny joke, but like, not at all.

You better take care of Bruce.

Knock a wood, knock a wood, knock a wood.

I will take care of Bruce, of course, but we can't call him Bruce while he's at my house because my in-laws, who I was just referring to, my father-in-law's name is Bruce, and that's just like rude.

Also, people get so confused because Bruno's name is Bruno.

That is his birth name.

But I call him Bruce sometimes, and I also call him Bryce.

And people like think I'm making a typo like in my speech.

But no, these are just the nicknames of Bryce.

You know, I was watching Emily Didonato's story, and she named her son

Teddy.

Oh, sorry,

Theodora.

Theodora.

And she calls the daughter Teddy.

And then obviously that evolved to Teddy Graham.

And now she calls the kid Graham.

And people are DMing her, like, is your kid's name Graham?

Is his middle name Graham?

She's like, no, it's just the evolution of a nickname.

It's just the evolution of a nickname.

You can't stop it.

You can't control it.

You can't plan for it either.

Like, even when we're picking names, it's like, okay, so the kids will call him blank.

And it's like, the kids are going to call him what the kids are going to call him.

We can't predict.

Right.

Remember when we were deciding what name to come up with for Michaela?

And we're like, we're going to call her Mickey.

No one's ever called her that.

Her name is Kaylor Swift, her royal canis.

Like, it's just not Mickey whatsoever.

No, it's Kaylor.

Like, which is

crazy, which is crazy.

You couldn't have ever told us that that would be your name.

So that's why when people are naming their babies and they're like, well, I'm going to name him this so that people call him this.

It's like, girl, that ain't how it works.

Yeah.

It does work for like jackqualing Jackie though.

Like, yeah, no, of course.

But do you think when Emily Didonado was naming her daughter Theodora, she thought she was going to be calling her kid Graham?

No, but I did think she thought she would be calling her Teddy.

Of course.

And I think she does, but it's like Teddy Graham.

And then Graham.

And then in a few years from now, we'll so have forgotten about Teddy.

Like that's how it works.

That is how it works.

Yes, exactly.

So

fun stuff.

Also, by the time I come back, like we'll have a name.

And I'm just so excited.

I'm also like still really up at night, like wondering what the name of Kylie's baby is.

Oh, I thought you were going to say like wondering if you're 100% sure on your name.

So nothing's ever 100%.

Obviously, we have to meet LC and make sure the name fits but we have one name that we both really like and i i think that's it is that like the one like i know about like you changed it okay yeah yeah yeah because we haven't spoken about it in a while so yeah because like things have been settled yeah no news here but i really i really want to know what kylie's baby's name is and i don't know when she's going to tell us or how she's going to tell us like people on tick tock say she's having twins i don't know what to believe anymore She, oh, that she had twins?

Yeah.

That would be crazy.

I don't think so.

There was only one hand, yeah.

I know, and then I'm like, but maybe the other hand that we thought was stormy was the baby, and then I'm like, damn, that's a huge baby.

Yeah, these TikTok theories are not it, out of control, out of control, out of control.

There needs to be accountability for TikTok theories that are false, unfounded.

You need to have to come forward and say, I was wrong.

Like, really, you know, get in the public square and have to admit that you misled people just so that you don't do it as frequently.

You know,

100%.

Yeah.

We have a fabulous show for you guys today because it's, oh my God, I totally forgot to sing.

I know.

Because even though it's like a, you know, it's a somber Friday because it's your last show, but it's also Friday.

So I thought I'd mix it up and do more of like an acoustic strip-down Friday.

Love it.

Give it to us.

Friday, Friday.

Gotta get down on Friday.

Everyone's looking forward to the weekend, weekend,

Friday, Friday, getting

down on Friday.

Fun, fun, fun, fun.

Looking forward to maternity.

Leave.

That was nice.

A little depressing.

Horrible.

Yeah, but we are going to need a lot of singing today, considering like it's going to have to titus over for a month.

So if you feel the power of song come through you, please don't let me stop you.

Also, no pressure, but like, this is gonna be the last episode we leave for a month.

So, when people are feeling like sad, they might come back to it.

So, we have to make this a knockdown drag out show.

Okay.

Okay.

Well, we have some really good stories, and I feel as though we're capable of doing that.

So, without further ado, to do to do.

Wait, with a further, a further,

there's more ado.

I wanted to let everyone know that I recently

have been drinking a drink from Starbucks that I actually find to be quite delicious.

What is it?

So, I asked Ben a couple days ago because I wanted to film another coffee review.

And with these coffee reviews, for me, now they're just content.

Like, I don't think I'm actually going to find anything.

So I sent him some like recommendation somebody posted on one of my Instagram comments.

And it was like, whatever.

And I just assume every drink from Starbucks is going to be an iced coffee.

So he comes back with one of these cups.

And I'm like, what the fuck is a hot drink doing here?

But this is what it was.

It was a flat white blonde espresso with vanilla.

Hmm.

And might I tell you, it is scrumptious.

And on the app, it didn't have crazy calories.

It's like just a regular coffee milk, but like, you know, their weird thing.

And I think it's quite delicious.

It tastes like coffee, but it's not like killing me.

So if you want to try this, I think it's quite good.

What does it look like when you open it?

Is it like white liquid?

Well, there's foam at the top right now.

I can't see.

It's like, you know that meme that's like, what color is your iced coffee?

Oh, okay.

I see that coffee.

It's quite light.

Okay, so it's milk.

Because it's a shot of espresso and a lot of milk.

Okay.

Well, I'm just glad that you're enjoying something and that you're having coffee.

You're staying caffeinated, hydrated.

And even though it's been like six months, you finally found your answer.

Yeah, but I will keep doing the videos because Gwyneth Palcho seems to love them.

She comments on like a lot of them.

And I just feel like for my friendship with Gwyneth, I have to continue the series, even though I do believe I found a drink that I like.

100%.

No, you didn't.

Keep going.

Like Gwyneth needs these.

And this coffee journey, like, so me and Ben filmed an episode of The Good Dish yesterday, I told you guys, and it airs next week or the week after that.

And like a lot of the segment was about my coffee reviews.

They posted a lot of my like my highlights of my coffee segment.

And so like, I don't know.

I just think it's good for my brand.

So I'm going to keep doing it.

Okay, good.

Everybody liked it.

It was good for your brand.

Don't know why you stopped.

Glad you're back on the train.

Oh, don't know why you stopped because I'm the laziest piece of shit on the planet.

That's why.

I don't know if you knew that.

I actually don't think you are.

I can think of people who are lazier.

I literally know who you're thinking about.

That's how we are so simpatico.

You know what?

That's so crazy.

No, yeah, it is crazy, but it's not.

You know, right?

Of course.

Yeah, okay.

But also, I'm not even saying you're the second laziest.

Like, you're, okay, so you, so you dropped the ball on the coffee review.

Like, it's fine.

I know.

Thanks for making me feel better about it.

So, yes, we have a great show.

We're going to recap the Real Housewives of Miami episode that dropped on Peacock last night in the TV recap segment.

And then we're just going to do the fast five.

And we're going to take take our time because I don't have to leave for Foxwoods for quite a bit.

And I don't know.

I just think we should knock down, drag this out.

Okay.

Yeah.

No, a lot of pressure.

No pressure.

No.

But if you're listening, like, you know, in a few weeks, you just discovered this podcast.

Like, hey, welcome to the toast.

Claudia and I are sisters.

Yeah.

That sometimes is unclear.

And what

is not our brother.

He's my husband.

Ben is her husband.

Theo is not her actual son.

It's her dog.

Yeah.

And actually,

I am older than Claudia, which is really, I think, the thing that really shocks people.

And Jackie's having a son, knockwood, sometime soon.

And that son is a human, but Bruno and Theo are dogs.

Yeah.

So that's just like what you need to know here.

And we are full sisters.

We're not just like sisters in name only.

Like we're sisters 100%.

Claudia has a song called 100% also.

I also have a book.

It's available at girlwithnojob.com slash book.

It's the story, really, a lot of Jackie's Jackie's in there too.

So it's a story of our lives, a story of our career, how we started the show.

I also do comedy, girlwithnojob.com slash tour.

But if you go to girlwithnojob.com, that's kind of the hub.

You can find out about all the things.

So come see me on tour.

And we do have an Instagram account.

Oh, we do.

We swear.

We swear.

It's just gone for the time being, but we're getting really close to getting it back.

And I do think by the time, I mean, for hopefully, by the time the show comes back, the Instagram will be back.

But it should come back like while we're away.

So that'll be exciting for everyone to look forward to.

Yeah,

I can't wait.

Yeah, I know.

You're so excited.

So excited.

Even though, like, part of the reason it's gone, like, is my fault.

Yeah, but you live and you learn.

You live and you learn.

You know, and it's not a mistake if you learned a lesson.

Are you ready without further ado for the fast five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast?

I am.

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great thank you claudia

our first pleasure yeah there was doing business with you

our first story adele was on friday night's episode of bbc one and she is addressing all of the tings talking about her relationship hinting that she is engaged saying that she wants a child with rich pauls she calls her ex simon her quote quote, soulmate, and reveals regret over what would have been a half-assed Vegas show in her words.

So.

So I saw a video of her performing at the Brits.

And she's wearing a big-ass engagement ring on her left ring finger.

Yeah, so she's like, perhaps engaged.

She's not shying away from that.

And she's also revealing that she wants to have another baby, her first, with her boyfriend, Rich Paul, next year, as she continued to fuel rumors that they are engaged.

She hinted at family plans, saying, It takes me a while to recharge, and I would like to have more children.

I only just feel like I've caught up with my sleep from nine years ago when I had my son.

Oh, that's like really scary for me.

That was nine years ago?

That doesn't sound right.

Her kid is nine?

That's crazy.

Hold on.

How old is Adele's son?

I mean, if she

is nine years old, he was born in 2012.

I'm shook.

Time flies.

Oh,

that's really shocking.

Beyond.

Damn.

She also spoke out about the controversy surrounding her Las Vegas show, saying she will reschedule them this year, and spoke about her feelings towards her ex-husband in the interview on the Graham Norton show.

She said that she admitted her regret at the last-minute announcement and insists it would have been a half-assed show if she had gone ahead.

But they're working to put together a new show that will be the caliber that she expects from her.

So she's standing by the statement and the story that she put out, even though there have been all these rumors flying since then that it had to do with her boyfriend.

She was having a breakdown.

Okay, so she's standing by.

I mean, honestly, at this point, like, I don't even care.

Like, when it was happening, it was like crazy because there were people already on the plane finding out, and there were people already in Vegas finding out that their tickets are no longer valid.

And now I'm like, okay, whatever.

Yeah, but I think all the rumors that were swirling afterwards, you know, about her relationship and just like the crying and the pool and whatnot,

I think this show is like meant to, you know, assuage everyone.

Like her,

what's the word?

Pregnancy brain.

Her appearance, her appearance on the show is meant to just like let everyone know, hi, it's like, it's still me.

Everything is fine.

I'm sorry about that, which happened, but it's, there's nothing nefarious going on.

Got it.

And, you know, I was for some reason like really targeted with Adele content this morning on TikTok because this weekend we're the Brits and Adele's just like having, you know, she's having a week.

She went to the Brits and then she went out to all these gay bars and these drag clubs.

And the drag queens bought her out on stage, and she was shaking her ass, and she looks like she's having such a good time.

It must be so fun to be Adele.

Yeah, non-problematic queen.

Pictures from last night, she went to an event, gay porn idol, I think it was, and she's like, has is in her bra, having a great time.

Yes.

She got up on the stage.

So I think she's having a nice weekend.

No, that sounds so fun.

You know, I've never been to London.

I've never been either.

I don't know.

It feels like I like recently, everyone's like, we should go to London.

I'm like, okay, I've never been.

So you should go.

I know.

I feel like a London summer, ever since I read Something Blue, which takes place in London, I kind of am like, I need to be a London girly.

Cause you know I love a London boy.

I enjoy nights encamped and shortage in the afternoon.

He likes my American smile like a child when our eyes meet.

Darling, I fancy you took me back to Hygat, met all of his best mates.

So you know all the rumors are true you know i love a london boy

boy

boy i fancy you sorry you did tell me i could sing and i do feel like i'm already taking advantage i think that you should and for anyone who's new here we do sing a lot on the show less when we're doing remote podcasting but i think it's something that sets us apart from our competitors i do

I completely agree.

Like we are unique.

We are not like other podcast hosts.

And that's just a little bit about us.

I was going to say, you were talking about reading.

You read the new Colleen Hoover book.

I've been waiting for someone, aka you or Margo, to read it and let us know how it is.

Can you let us know how it is?

I'm such a co-ho girl, but I have two things to say.

Like, you know, my genre, and I'm proud of it.

Like, my genre of book is like corny erotica.

Like, I.

Corny, porny.

Porny, corny.

Yeah.

It's the porny Collins show, okay?

And so I don't know if it's because, like, I haven't read Colleen.

I read all of Colleen Hoover, like in, in a couple months, and now I moved on to bigger and better things.

So I don't know if like, maybe I'm just too erotic now.

Cause like I've read Tessa Bailey and her books are fucking wild.

But I was like, where is the porn?

Like, of course, they had sex like two or three times, but there were like a couple scenes where like they were about to have sex and then she ends the chapter and being like, the sex was great.

And it's like, well, tell us about it.

Like, we need to be there with you.

So I was like, I don't know if my bar has changed or if this was like a less erotic book, just first of all.

But I don't base a a book based on the erotica.

I don't.

I do think though that your bar has changed.

Oh my God.

I'm like too raunchy for Colleen now.

Is that what you're saying?

I think so.

I mean, I remember like, I think her raunchiest book is maybe like Verity, would you say?

Yeah.

So I wonder if you read that now,

if it would meet your bar of porn.

Tessa Bailey has really like.

But then in terms of like the story, there was no like

big switch.

switch you know like you know she's this girl and she's out of prison and then you're waiting to hear like why she really didn't deserve to go to prison you know

you know i'm not gonna spoil it but first of all the plot just like wasn't really there for me i don't really feel it felt so corny and that's like me saying like corny but it's like the bar back and the girl from prison like it was just like too much for me like i felt like and honestly if someone were to ask me like what are you reading right now like i felt embarrassed to say that i was reading this book because the title is like so mortifyingly like corny Danielle Steele, you know?

No, we FaceTimed yesterday and you were reading.

I said, what are, what are you reading?

And you said, reminders of him.

No, I believe I said, reminders of him.

And that title,

so I gave it, it wasn't bad by any means.

Are you okay?

I'm just having pain in like my pelvic area and the laughing is hurting, but it's, it's past.

It just passed.

We're fine.

A contraction?

No, no, not a contraction.

Just like things are happening.

There's a lot going on in the body.

Just remember that today is your last chance to have your water break on the toast.

And I'm just, and you know, we only had one ad today.

So if you do break it, like the show can end and we could be in a tizzy and I'll be like, Zach, Zach, get the bag.

Like we could do it.

Okay.

I don't think that's what's happening.

But just, just.

Be in tune with your body and let your pelvic floor just wide open, okay?

Okay.

Okay.

I will do that for you.

So it was fine.

Like I didn't hate it.

And I read through it in like two days.

I gave it three out of five stars.

It was just like,

Okay, fair.

I'm sorry that it was a disappointment.

I look forward to hearing what Snitch thinks because you know she's like co-host number one fan.

I don't think she'll like it.

Damn.

But will she admit it?

That's a different question.

Stub go, as we like to call her.

By the way, for those who are new here, Margo is also our blood sister.

She's at Mark Ashray on Snapchat.

She hosts a podcast called The Snapchat.

What did I say?

You just said she's Mark Ashray on Snapchat.

Oh my God, that's so weird.

I literally haven't used Snapchat in 35 years.

That's crazy.

She's at Mark Australian Instagram.

She's a big-time influencer.

She hosts a podcast called The Snatcher on our podcast network called Toast News Network.

And she recaps the bachelor.

And we call her snitch and we call her counselor.

We don't know why, but there's a long story.

We're just like not in the mood to get into it.

Yeah, and we call her snitch, but not because like of any snitchery that she does or does not commit.

It has nothing to do with like being a snitch.

She's just the snitch.

No foul play.

no foul play here it's not like she's never snitch but it's not like she's a notorious snitch or anything like that yeah i'm sure if we looked into it she actually is a notorious snitch well now she is the notorious snitch the notorious s-n-i-t-c-h

are you ready for our next story it's really for you and i'm gonna need you to explain to me who these people are sure taylor holder

no who's that tick tocker who got arrested Oh, no.

What did he or she do?

It's a boy.

And there's just so much conflicting.

Like, no one really knows what's going on But like all of his friends a couple weeks like maybe a week ago unfollowed him and like everyone was asking what's going on with Taylor Holder no one would tell us anything and then literally an arrest record came out He was literally arrested in LA like a couple days ago still don't know what's going on rumors of sexual assault, but it's not no one knows what the fuck is going on Geez, okay.

Um, well, no, our next story is about two euphoria castmates who are taking their relationship

looking public with dating rumors and a steamy kiss.

Hunter Schaefer and Dominic Fike were kissing on Dominic's Instagram story with happy birthday, happy birthday.

And the internet is ablaze.

Yeah, so this is Jules and Elliot.

And they actually like have feelings for each other in the show.

So it's like very on brand.

And if you follow Dumois or like any sort of like underground, like you've known that these two have been rumored to have been dating for a while.

So if you're an internet saluth, you saw this picture and you were like, oh, confirmation.

But if you have a normal life and you don't spend all your time on your fake Instagram account, then you were probably like, oh, these two co-stars are dating.

How interesting and cool.

This is brand new information.

That's me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And it's always good when co-stars are dating.

Are there any other like real life relationships coming out of Euphoria?

Because I think that's like just what the show needs.

There's really not.

There, of course, was the brief stint between Zendaya and Jacob Alorde, but now she's like so head over heels in love with Tom Holland.

He's been spotted many times with Olivia Jade, which is like the cutest couple of all time.

Um, so no, besides this, no.

They all are in relationships.

Like Cassie's in a relationship, Sidney Sweeney with like this older gentleman.

Barbie, who plays Cat, is in a relationship.

They're all like have their own social lives.

There's also been like a lot of whispers about certain things behind the scenes on

Euphoria.

Like I know Barbie, I'm sorry, I can never pronounce her last name, Fereira.

Yeah, I, yeah.

Who plays Cat.

She, there are rumors that she's like super, she's kind of of been like cut out of the season.

It's so weird.

And there are rumors that she was, you know, butting heads with the showrunner Sam, the guy who created the show.

So there's, no one really knows because it's like very tight-lipped, but there's not a lot of like intra-cast relationship and dating.

You know what?

That's probably good for the like.

longevity of the show because sometimes when like you get all these like young sexy people together and they're all like running rampant it's not sustainable but if everybody sort of is like coming to work and we're here to work and it's not just like a big orgy, I think that's best for the show.

Okay.

Also,

because you just reminded me, obviously, of Riverdale when like in the beginning, when all them were dating each other.

And then it reminded me of Cole Sprouse.

And I was on TikTok and I saw a clip from the Lady Gang podcast.

Kelty was telling the story of something just that happened to her recently.

Did you hear this?

No.

So I guess she got an acting gig in a Cole Sprouse

production.

And she was like so excited.

And she was posting all about it on Instagram, tagging Cole Sprouts.

And he messaged her and was like, oh my God, there are all these like fake production companies like using my name for like all these things.

And Kelsey's like, so I'm not getting the 30 grand in the movie role.

And he's like, no, I'm really sorry.

Like, there's, it's actually like a really big problem I'm having.

And she was like, crushed.

She was scammed.

Scammed.

That's crazy.

But did she like send in audition tapes and stuff?

I don't know the extent because it was just like a 30-second clip on TikTok and I was howling at the moon.

But it's in one of the most recent podcasts of the lady gang.

Oh my god, that's hysterical.

That is something that would happen to Kelty.

That's so Kelty.

Yeah,

that sucks.

I know.

Well, are you ready for our next story?

I am.

Because cheer star Jerry Harris has pleaded guilty in the federal child pornography case.

Jerry Harris, the season one breakout star of the docuseries cheer, pleaded guilty to two out of the seven sexual abuse and child pornography charges Thursday, departing from the not guilty plea he entered more than a year ago.

So as part of this

deal,

he pled guilty to the two counts, and then the other counts have been dropped.

So sentencing will be expected on June 28th, and we will know what's in store for Jerry.

But this is like the end of the

proceedings here.

Yeah.

So, I mean, he's been in jail for quite a bit, awaiting sentence, and I'm sure COVID didn't help with the delaying of that.

So, what has it been, like two years that he's been in prison?

A year and a half, I think.

Because it was like September of

2021.

2020.

That time you spend in prison waiting a sentencing does

count towards your sentence, correct?

Yeah, time served.

Time served, right.

So I'm curious, like, however long his sentence is going to be.

Like, if he actually might be getting out soon, let's say he gets like a two-year sentence or a three-year sentence.

He could be out in six months or a year.

The counts that he pled guilty on are receiving child pornography and crossing state lines for the purpose of engaging in an illicit sexual act with a minor under the age of 15.

Yeah, those are bad ones.

Yeah.

But I don't know how much, how much time they each, the maximum for each of those

counts are.

So we'll see.

But soon we'll know the fate here.

That was like the most depressing part of the documentary and just like the whole cheer thing in drama.

Cheers going on tour?

I did.

I think that's such a great idea.

Me too.

I wonder if Netflix is involved at all or if it's like a Monica Aldama production.

I think Netflix is probably involved.

I don't know if Monica could pull that off on her own and also if they're going to use the name cheer.

Yeah, I think it's a Netflix to-do.

I think that's a really good idea.

Like, cause it's like, where do we go from here?

All these athletes, they have such a short period of time where they can like make their money and be famous and be a professional cheerleader.

And I think that this is a great idea.

Like, think about, and I guess I didn't even really know the extent of like how deep the cheer world goes until the docuseries on Netflix.

And there's like die-hard kids out there who are obsessed beyond belief.

And it's kind of like the USA Gymnastics Girls, the Kellogg tour, right?

That's what they do.

Oh,

yeah yeah yeah they do a tour i did they do a tour

yeah i think i think it's kellog um

and so it's actually really smart i i would see it yeah i'm sure i'm sure it'll be fun it's just interesting how like this show came out and like how each of the kids are going to you know make a career out of it.

And I think that this was a natural next step.

I didn't think of it at the time when I'm like, well, they're doing cameos and they're, you know, becoming going on Ellen.

I didn't think of a tour and I think it's a great idea.

Yeah.

You know, I think every day about the cameo that you got me from Carlin and how there's the wedding ring, the engagement ring and the suffering.

And the suffering.

And I just laugh to myself.

You know what I think about every day?

What?

The cameo that I got from Jerry Harris.

Do you get one from him?

Yes.

I don't know.

Okay.

So right before it was...

What's it's 2022?

Two years ago, right before my show at the beacon, which was my biggest comedy show ever.

I think it was the toasters who all chipped in and they were like, Jerry, can you Matt talk our favorite comedian?

And he was like, Yes, girl, you're gonna go out there and you're gonna kill it.

You're hilarious, like we love you.

And I was like, I was shook, and it was really empowering.

And now it comes up in my time hop, and I feel nothing but shame.

Time hop is about to get, is about to get dark because we're heading into like March 2020.

Time hop, and it's like right now.

I'm looking at my time hop.

Life was so good.

What it, what's it's like mid-February.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I forgot the date.

And it was like, we like President's Day weekend.

Yeah, you went to Miami.

I went to Palm Beach.

And we had no idea what would happen next.

It's about to get really bad over there on Time Hop.

Oh, my God.

I was crying laughing from your interview with Sophia Franklin when you mentioned Time Hop and she said, what are you?

33.

Beyond insulting.

Beyond.

It was so funny.

Obviously, that's not what she meant, but I was cracking up.

I'm still healing those scars.

That's the worst thing someone could say to you.

Overestimate your age.

Yeah.

For, for, I mean, in general, it's pretty insulting, but like for you.

Yeah.

Because I'm like such a self-conscious 27-year-old.

I'm like, oh my God, I'm literally one foot in the grave.

That's really how I feel.

Are you ready for our next story, which is really a disappointment?

And I really,

I shudder to bring bad news to the table today, but there's bad news in the air.

There's already bad news because you're leaving us for a month.

So just rip the band-aid off.

The Beauty and the Beast Gastone prequel is not going forward at Disney Plus

for now.

Disney Plus's Beauty and the Beast prequel series will not be moving forward at this time.

The decision comes as the lead cast of the eight-episode series had been assembled ahead of the planned summer 2022 shoot in the UK.

So they were doing like a Gastone Origin prequel series at Disney Plus, which is just like...

a no-brainer of an idea because obviously there's a lot more to Gastone than what meets the eye.

Justice for Gastone is not being served.

According to sources, the call not to proceed with the show was made for creative reasons, with the scripts and original music not coming together in the direction expected or running behind schedule.

With a number of creative elements up in the air and the shoot start already pushed from early spring to summer, a decision was made to put the project on hold.

Pushing filming further into the fall was not an option because of talent availability and weather concerns.

This is egregious, just unacceptable.

Make it work.

Literally, make it work.

It's egregious for sure, but a part of me is like, if you're not going to do it

amazingly,

then don't do it at all.

And it seems like that's where they're at.

Like, if they had shitty music and shitty screenplay, like, nothing would be more embarrassing for Gaston than to be a part of a farcical prequel series.

Yeah.

Was Luke Evans involved?

Yes.

And Josh Gadd.

Fuck.

Yeah.

This sucks.

It does suck.

And I have to.

Especially as two girls who have been out here using their platform for years about how Gaston was painted in a negative light.

He is a hero and a gentleman.

Yeah.

No, and he definitely, like, he's not perfect.

No, but he is.

Who is, Jackie?

Who is?

But he, he,

he wasn't as bad as it was all cracked up to be.

He's been through a lot.

And we all have.

And I think that's a story we could all relate to.

Yeah.

I agree.

And we're not going to be getting this story.

And that's really sad.

But also, I'm grateful that they're not going to be disgracing gastone with some shitty performance yeah exactly and so i agree i appreciate the move here but it's not the move that i wanted to hear and i do feel responsible because it's something that i was excited about i was looking forward to and whenever i'm invested in a project it never gets let works out so you're saying essentially that the downfall of this production can be directly linked to your overall existence my karmic energy yeah

yeah if you love something, you should set it free because it will get canceled if you don't.

Yeah.

No, it's really true.

Like, I have a long list of things.

So

you're making a list and you're checking it twice.

I'm sorry to everyone.

To take.

Yeah, it's okay.

We forgive you.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story, which is a really crazy story, but also really scary with a happy ending, but still really fucking scary?

Yeah.

I'm not sure if you've heard this story yet.

A Chicago woman was rescued from a naked kidnapper thanks to Wordle.

Yes.

Excuse me?

Yeah.

A naked man crept into an 80-year-old Chicago woman's bed and held her hostage for 17 hours.

But she was finally rescued after her daughter called the cops because the woman hadn't texted her the day's Wordle answers.

And I guess every day, like, she would text her daughter about Wordle.

Denise Halt was asleep on Saturday when a mentally ill man broke into her home in Chicago, according to WBBM.

The intruder slipped into her bed while clutching a pair of scissors.

She said she was in shock.

I was trying to survive.

That's all.

He said, I won't harm or molest you.

He ordered her to take a shower with him in her nightgown, and then they took a bath instead.

It's just a really like scary, scary orchid.

She's a horrible story.

For 17 hours, and because she hadn't texted about Wordle, it alerted her daughter that something was wrong and she called the police.

I mean, this is a horrible story, no matter who it happened to, but just like it being an an older, vulnerable person just like gives me the biggest pit in my stomach.

Um,

and obviously I'm glad she's okay, but like, this is just every woman's worst nightmare, like, ever.

Yeah, no, a nightmare.

Also, um, at the bottom of the article, it said that Wordle was developed by a software engineer called Josh Wardle.

And, um, you're kidding, and I'm not sure if that's like a coincidence or if, like, he called it Wordle because he's Wardle.

Well, we should find out if Josh Wardle is single because Homeboy just made seven figures from selling that app to the New York Times.

Mm-hmm.

And you know, like, they're going to make it a paid app.

Like, that's what they do because they're literally so fucking annoying.

And I just think we should all enjoy Wordle before it gets ruined by the New York Times.

Like, don't forget to do it today.

Tag me in your results.

I'm having a good streak, but like anything else, like, it'll fizzle out.

And especially once they do their thing to it,

whatever.

Should we do today's Wordle together?

That might be like infuriating for people.

Why?

Okay.

If you haven't done it yet, do it with with the long.

No, do it with.

You really?

But this could be like 12-minute segment.

Well, if we can't get it, I can usually get it in like a few minutes, seconds.

Oh, look at you.

No, yesterday.

I feel like it's really hard.

Oh, look, they're already making changes to Wordle.

Look at the font at the top.

It's new.

No, and also I got this.

Oh, and it says newyorktimes.com.

Oh, my God.

Times.com.

You see that?

Yep.

And I just got this thing that like explains Wordle.

It's like, I've been here.

Why do you explain?

I get that every day.

I've never gotten it every day.

I've never gotten it.

But now it says this news, what do you usually start with?

I start with.

You have to start with the same word.

I start with roast.

I start with great.

Okay.

We could do yours.

We could do yours.

Okay, we'll do mine.

Roast.

Roast.

Wow.

You guys do it along with us.

Okay, but you know what?

Oh, Jackie.

There's so many.

I'd like to now.

Okay.

Okay, now I think that I like price, price here.

Price.

Okay.

That's good.

Okay.

Not bad.

R, C, and E all in the wrong spots.

That's so helpful.

Oh, um, check

current.

Yeah.

I don't think this is going to be premium content, Claudia.

Me too, because this is like a hard one.

And now we just ruined our Wordles for the day.

Just, we'll finish later, okay?

Okay, we'll finish later.

But I thought that would be like a fun thing to do together.

But now I'm thinking, Wordle is in a group activity.

Like, imagine listening to this in in your car just two morons traveling right

i guess they forget that not everyone listens to this podcast like 100 focused like on everything we're saying like they do other things they work they drive yeah but we'll get back to it we'll get back to it later anyways um so wordle saved the day here but this was an incredibly disturbing story yeah very sad i just you know

i'm really hating the times we're living in more and more, especially like you like, it's bad in New York.

The crime is so bad, but also like traveling to other cities for tour, like you really see it's, it's really bad everywhere.

The crime is insane.

Yeah.

And like when I go to meet and greets, they're like, do not walk around here late at night.

Like, it's just, why?

Like, what is going on?

Yeah.

No, it's really scary.

So those are the fast side stories.

And I feel as though you definitely needed to know them.

You needed to know them before you embark on this weekend.

And now we will get into our Real House Eyes of Miami recap.

I feel like we're just like dragging our feet because we don't want to.

It's never taken us this long to get to the end of the fifth story.

And it's not even like, you know, Kim Kardashian went to the moon.

Right.

Which definitely is going to happen someday.

1,000%.

So The Real Houses of Miami was kind of an explosive episode because I just feel like, and I want to hear people's thoughts on it because there's two ways of thinking.

Like you understand, even though...

Okay, I'm feeling conflicted because I definitely think Larsa is lying to us about her

relationship with Kim.

Like Kim didn't, you know, excommunicate her because she knew too much.

That's the opposite.

What we know about Kim is, like, people who are loyal to her and have known things about her forever, like, those are the people she values, cherishes, and keeps so close to her.

So, Larsa obviously betrayed that trust.

Larsa didn't just get kicked out because she knew too much about Kanye and Kim.

Like, that's the type of person Kim would keep close.

1,000%.

That's not why they're not friends.

I do sort of feel like

whatever happened between them, it might be like Larsa sees it one way, Kim sees it another way.

It's not to like cut and try.

It's not like Larsa hooked up with Tristan, even though like apparently that's a rumor too.

I think it's like probably confusing for Larsa because I feel like even when it went down and they all unfollowed her, I feel like Larsa hadn't gotten the memo that she was out yet.

So it's not like something big happened, but definitely

there was some weirdness there.

I agree.

It's not because she knew too much,

but things changed.

So I do think she's lying.

I think she's lying about that, but that doesn't really matter to the situation at hand where Adriana is just being an atrocious, dreadful woman, full of dread.

That conversation when she was like, Here's my life story.

It's my life story.

I'm like, what are you yelling like that for?

Calm the fuck down.

She's so unhinged.

And I actually like,

I feel sympathy for her because she's such a nobody and she's doing everything in her power to be relevant and she can't get arrested.

No, she is so out of control.

Like, that dinner was humiliating.

Like, first of all, even if Larsa was like still friends with them, like, it is, it is weird.

No one wants to like bring it up to her face.

Like, Kim Kardashian is like the most famous person in the world.

And, like, if Kim saw this episode, like, she would literally cringe so hard.

And like, Larsa's sitting there, like, knowing that.

And also, Adriana's telling this like dumb, inappropriate story about, like, the sky room in the men's room, like, walking in on Kanye.

How many times did she say kanye west penis in the episode 45 like it was so a thousand it was so unnecessary and she's like embarrassing larsa intentionally and we all know that it's uncomfortable like i was sitting i'm uncomfortable like knowing that like you're talking about your ex-best friend and her husband the dynamics are like so weird adriana and larsa aren't even close and adriana's just like a deranged woman overall sociopathic like literally a crazy woman running around screaming kanye's penis there was nothing for Larsa to do other than to get up and leave.

I thought Larsa handled herself perfectly, like, being like, please stop talking about this at first.

Then being like, these are my friends.

This is a sensitive subject.

I don't want to talk about this.

Like, I felt like she tried, and Adriana was just like, there was no speaking to her.

And so Larsa had to leave because.

Because, regardless of what the topic was, let's say you're at a girls' dinner and someone brings something up and someone just chimes in and is like, honestly, I don't feel comfortable.

Can we change the subject?

Imagine not doing that.

No.

And someone you've been friends with for 10 years.

Digging your heels in more right what did she say she said that 10 years ago larsa was talking about kim

in her interview

yeah and i feel like she was referencing a moment on the show like in 2015

larsa said they would have showed it yeah i was waiting for them to show a clip no she will just like say anything and now she's like using i guess larsa as i mean maybe this was her last ditch effort to get a mojito and be a full-time cast member um so she was like i'm gonna bring up the thing that everyone's talking about which is like why isn't larsa friends with the the Kardashians?

But as a Kardashian stan, like, I don't need to, like, it made me uncomfortable.

Like, there's nothing here that I need you to pick apart.

Um,

because it's just like really, really awkward.

And when I think back on the Kim and Larsa friendship, I do remember like a lot of the friendship was surrounded around their kids.

So I definitely understand Larsa being like, my kids used to play with his kids and you're out here talking about his penis.

Like, it's just disrespectful and it's inappropriate.

And I think any human being with like a modicum of grace and elegance and manners would know that that's just like not appropriate.

Yeah.

And then when she goes to Gertie's event, which was so nice, by the way, and it was like, oh my God.

It's so bothersome that Larsa like came off in such a bad light because I really like her.

I wish she showed up on time and also saved the conversation for another time.

Because just to come in and like be a part of the drama is just not a good look.

But Adriana, like again, even when she was recounting the situation to Alexia, I had dinner last night with Larsa.

I had dinner last night with Larsa and she went like like crazy on me.

It's like, what did you do?

You crazy

woman.

She said, I went to dinner with Larsa last night.

She blew up at me for no reason.

And Alexia's like, for no reason.

Right.

Like, everyone has Adriana's numbers, but she's so irrelevant that it doesn't even, it's not even worth talking about.

But because she keeps bringing up Kanye's penis, like Larsa needs to talk to her about it.

And then it looks like next week she's bringing up Kardashians again and Larsa leaves again.

And it's just like, stop.

No, and it seems like next week there is this like coming

comeuppance with Larsa because obviously Julia is mad at her for saying the thing, having a baby out of wedlock.

Adriana's obviously mad at her for a multitude of reasons.

Gertie's now mad at her for starting the fight at and coming late to her event.

So it's like Loserville ganging up on Larsa.

But I'm still Team Larsa.

Oh, so am I, by the way.

And I feel like

Lisa and Alexia are.

This is so uncomfortable for her and she's handling it in the best way possible.

Yeah, I mean, I think she signed up with the show knowing like at some point this conversation was going to be had, like, what the fuck happened with you with the Kardashians?

But I don't think she ever for once thought it would come from Adriana saying Kanye's penis is big and thick.

Yeah, agreed.

Like if she were having lunch with Lisa and they were just like talking about old friendships, like perhaps she could have shed light on it then.

But the way that it's coming up and Audreya's just like grasping at straws.

And you know what?

Like, I definitely had some preconceived notions about Larsa.

Like for her, you know, she was like super rich in Miami and then moved to LA and became like so famous with the Kardashians and now she came back to Miami.

And I definitely would have thought like she had this kind of air about her.

Like I think most people would, like, you just feel like you're better than everyone.

Like you've hung out with the Kardashians for multiple years in a row.

Like I would think I was better than you too.

Like I get it.

But one of the biggest takeaways I've had from knowing more about Larsa on the show is she's actually not like that at all.

She's very quiet and she's very sweet and she's very lovely and she's polite.

So Adriana being like, you came back here, you think you're better than us.

Actually, Larsa doesn't act like that at all when I would have expected her to.

Like, and so Larsa saying, no, maybe you feel that way about yourself, but it's not anything I've ever done.

Like, I don't give off that vibe that I think I'm better than everyone.

She's nice to everyone.

I completely agree.

She's nice to everyone.

She doesn't talk down to people.

If anything, other people in this group have that issue.

I don't feel like she treats them like she's better than them.

I feel like for some of the women, they feel like maybe, you know, if we weren't filming, like, you don't want to be my friend, you don't care about me.

And that's probably true.

That's all these, all these shows.

Yeah, but like,

you're not going to want to be friends with everyone.

Sorry.

And there are people on the cast who it seems like she is friends with in like a more authentic way, like Lisa.

So it's like, level up or we're not going to be hanging out off camera.

Level up or get the fuck out.

Also, Lisa and Lenny's relationship was just cracking me up last night.

I know people think they're like going through it, but I actually thought their confessional bickering was really funny and cute.

Yeah, I think like it's extremely brave to put your bickering out there as someone who's bickered publicly many times.

People are so mean and and they're so quick to judge, even though like half of marriage, half of a successful marriage is spent bickering.

It's just life.

So there was nothing in those scenes that made me really

worry or question their marriage.

I thought it was traditional bickering because Lisa was like, yeah, you know, he was a lonely child and it was definitely

kind of lonely for him.

And he was like, well, I wouldn't say that, but you know, I wish, I think it would have been better if I had a sibling, which is basically what Lisa said.

Yeah, no, it was really funny.

And on the one hand, I'm like, if you can be like honest about your bickering and you're not hiding it and doing it in the shadows and it's extremely healthy but then i do think about adrian and paul and how they that was not bickering jackie that was full-blown assault like the way they would just come at each other over plates like that was not cute confessional bickering that was full-blown divorce okay because they were like before they were getting divorced they were like the bickerers no and no i i as a bickerer myself, I don't relate to those two people whatsoever.

They were never bickerers, they were always taking things so far.

Bickering is not like

they used to make these grand statements, like, oh, I don't know why I'm here in the first place.

Like, that's not what bickering is.

Bickering is like, oh my god, you're so fucking annoying.

Like, shut up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, fine.

I just always associate them with bickering, and I'm like, well, then maybe it's not healthy to bicker in the public.

No, your association is incorrect.

Okay, thank you for clearing that up because I didn't know how to reconcile my two ethoses here.

No.

So how many episodes are there and is there a reunion?

I think that was like the ninth episode.

There is a reunion.

It's already filmed.

I wouldn't be surprised if like,

no, next week's probably not the finale,

but I think it's coming up.

Actually, I don't know.

But they did film the reunion.

Do you think Alexia's wedding is going to be filmed?

No, because they wound up getting married in December.

Oh, like just recently.

Yeah.

The August thing didn't go through.

I mean, how could it?

There's nothing.

It's July and there's no venue.

Gertie put on quite an event.

That Haiti charity event was,

I was like, oh, I would let this bitch plan my wedding in two seconds.

The lighting for the fashion show was beyond.

The fashion show was sickening.

And we've been to a lot of fashion shows and a lot of charity events in Housewives Universe.

And it's pathetic.

Do you remember OC Fashion Week on the boat?

Like beyond.

100%.

The fashion show, like the fashions were sickening.

You reminded me of Project Runway, like the whole whole thing.

Yeah, no, it was so, so well done.

And I agree.

Doing a fashion show on a housewives franchise is

brave.

It's it's brave.

And she knocked it out of the park.

The event was amazing.

And I just wish like people were mad at Larsa.

I know, because honestly, like, I'm not, I'm not feeling like she deserves.

And I hope that like the OG girls, like Lisa, Marisol, Alexia, I hope they stand up for Larsa next week.

Yeah, but Adrian is like also an OG.

And I don't think that's a good idea.

They don't claim her at all.

They do not claim her.

At this point, I don't think they knew that she wasn't going to be a housewife.

I didn't even realize that she wasn't a housewife until you said it like this week when we were recapping.

It was the first thing I realized because I was beyond confused because she was in the opening scene with

Lisa Alexia Marisol.

They had like all the OGs.

And I'm like, but she's not holding a thing in the opening credits.

I was beyond confused.

Yeah, and she has confessionals.

Right, like Kiki doesn't have a confessional, and Kiki's a friend of.

Mm-hmm.

No, I think they had every intention of making her a housewife, and then she stunk up the joint.

I can't stand her.

Like, I really can't.

She's just like, she's one of those people who's just beyond wrong, which is not a crime, of course.

But to speak with such conviction about your wrongness, that should be illegal.

Can't stand.

I was pulling my hair out watching last night.

Like, I, it was peak.

Like, we've been saying, like, she's, you know, the woe.

Like, she makes no sense.

And nobody even like gives her, pays her mind with all her nonsense.

But it was just like on a whole other level last night.

100 and Mernhat.

Yeah.

Okay, so that's the end of the show.

I just wanted to give you a few seconds to see if you wanted to break your own water,

like so we could just get it on the podcast.

I wouldn't know how, so I'm sorry that it didn't happen.

I know you would have loved it.

Push really hard.

I just broke my own water.

Push.

That's not how it works.

That's not how any of this works.

No, I know.

I'm just learning so much about how it all works.

I know, but it's a lot of just waiting around.

Which is my least favorite thing to do.

So before we wrap up, Jackie, is there anything you want to say to the toasters before you become a mom?

Like before you

leave us and come back a totally different woman?

I mean, just thank you everyone for being a toaster.

This has been,

you know.

It is a dream.

And I'm excited to bring a fresh perspective when I come back and share everything and learnings, et cetera, and go on this next chapter with all of you.

I'm

excited for the future.

And

it's just, it's crazy.

It's, it's emotional.

But also everything makes me emotional.

So for sure.

Okay, so I guess.

I wish I had like more powerful words, but perhaps when I come back, the words will flow.

I just, you know, there's a lot.

going on right now.

In search of your mucus plug?

You're obsessed with my

I just found out what that was, and I'm just beyond obsessed.

And then I googled it and deeply regretted looking at the images.

Yeah, I did not look at Google images, I just looked at you know the factoids.

It was beyond.

Um, okay, so like, bye, I guess.

Like, it's over, yeah, we're wrapping up.

We're wrapping up.

Let's lead us out, Claude.

Oh,

say,

can you see

by the dawn's early

light

what so proudly we

hailed

at the twilight's last gleaming,

whose broad stripes and bright stars

through the parallel side

oh, the ramparts we watched

were so gallantly streaming

and the rockets red glow,

the bombs bursting in air

gave proof through the night

that our flag was

still there.

Oh,

Satan's that star spangled bandariat wave

for the land

of the

free

and the home

of the

brave.

I don't know why.

That was just, it felt right.

A national anthem moment.

Paying respect to our country, to you, to motherhood.

To the Super Bowl.

Watch out, Mickey Guyton, because that's going to be hard to top.

You know, I thought that was actually pretty good.

It was really stunning.

I think everyone is quaking right now.

that was really unexpected and beautiful thank you for leading us out into joy do you know why i did that

no i just had to make it about myself for just one last time

okay jackie we love you good luck godspeed we'll be waiting for you with open arms toasters it's only a month Don't worry.

Read a book.

We'll be back in a month.

Jackie, me, co-host, Ben, Brian, anyone you want to see, DM some of your favorite Instagrammers and and be like, they're looking for co-hosts.

Please reach out to Claudia.

Like, I really need help.

So I love you guys.

Thank you so much for listening to the Morning Toast, the Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the fast fact stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up.

We're also available as a podcast anywhere.

Podcasts can be found.

So that's Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, IHR RadiacBox, all the places where every listen to podcasts, find out some more, tell us, Life, First, our video about how beautiful, standing, and smart we are.

Hope you guys have an amazing month off.

Jackie, I love you.

Love you, Claudia.

I mean, I'll talk to you in two fucking seconds.

But, toasters, I love you.

Thank you so much for all the support and love and all the advice and just nice messages over the last few months.

It's really been,

it's been wonderful.

So, we will see you.

We'll see you soon.

Bye.

Love you.

Bye.