S5 Ep25: Kim and Julia and Kanye, Oh My!: Thursday, February 10th, 2022

Good morning, Millennials.

Happy Thursday.

Welcome back to the morning toast.

I am joined by the most beautiful, gorgeous girly of all time.

What is this glam that we're looking at?

Hello, Jacqueline.

Happy Thursday, everyone.

Yes, I look stunning.

I've been up since the crack of dawn.

Me and Ben, I literally just got home four seconds ago.

We filmed an episode of The Good Dish on CBS,

and the episode airs next week.

I'll make sure everyone knows when it airs.

We were doing like Spritz cocktails, it was really fun.

And it was just really early.

So that's why I'm in like full glam.

You look so beautiful.

So, since it was a Spritz-related episode, did you drink that early in the morning?

I did.

And we were making like grapefruit tequila cocktails and they were like really good.

So I'm a little lit.

I'm a little tired.

I'm gorgeous as fuck.

And I think it's a pretty good way to start the Thursday.

I'm not going to lie.

Yeah, no, I can't believe it's Thursday.

This is my second to last show.

And that's a lot.

That's a lot.

I've been thinking about it tier i know i'm really even though with every day this week like my battery at my human battery is literally like on zero and i slept really poorly last night it's as if i didn't sleep at all so i'm just like running on fumes um so even though i'm like ready to take the break and i don't know how much more i can give i am going to miss you guys dearly Us were shy, us?

You.

I really am.

I mean, I love the toast so much.

I mean, I guess tomorrow I'll say my farewells, even though it's literally one month I come down.

Yeah.

But I just, I love doing the show and I'm really gonna miss it.

And I'm excited for this next chapter.

And this next chapter includes toast thoroughly.

But it's just things are changing, you know?

And it's been, it's been a nice, it's been a nice four years as they were.

Don't say that.

You know what I mean?

No, no, like.

As they were.

Like we had four, like, but then things change, you know?

Yeah.

They're not going to change too much, right?

No, no, no, no.

But like, I'm changing.

You are changing.

You know?

You're not a girl, not yet a woman.

We're all changing.

So I'm just, I'm excited for what this next chapter brings.

And it's also crazy to think about the fact that aside from like a few months that I got off like around April, like I've really been in lockdown for two years.

And I really look forward to emerging and having other things to talk about other than like being in my home.

tv and piano and knitting and stuff no but like two years worth of podcasting every day with really no fucking life it's a marvel it's a marvel it's that it is a marvel so i'm excited to have a life again and to be able to share that with you and do what we do well

Let's not be sad.

Okay.

Let's be happy.

We've got a great show for everyone.

We've got the fast five.

We've got real house size of Orange County recap.

So there's tons of content and let's just not be sad i who's sad we're just remarking on the time that we're in we are acknowledging the space that we're in and isn't that what we always promise to do yeah but you're just like remarking and acknowledging on like something sad that like you're leaving for a month so

well you get a month off you get to tour you get to see all the toasters you get to see this great country like what's bad No, nothing's bad.

And reminder, tickets available at girlwithnojob.com slash tour in case anyone had forgotten.

I actually needed to know something about your tour.

And I was like, I was like, I could text you, or I could go to girlwithnodojob.com/slash tour and get the information that I need, which I did.

And it was extremely helpful.

Literally, anytime someone's like, when is your LA show?

I'm like, just give me one second, girlwithnojob.com.

I use my own website as my schedule.

It's like my calendar.

Yeah, no, that's how I use it to keep track of you, too.

I'm like, where would she be on this day?

People are like, you want to plan a trip for the first week of April?

I'm like, let me just go to girlwithnojob.com/slash tour first.

That's funny.

Well, also, I caught up on the Gilded Age.

I think that you did too.

So we could recap that at the end because it's really, it's really a beautifully done, nice show.

Like the opening credits are stunning.

Stunning.

I will never be skipping that intro, ever.

And the third episode really amped up some of the drama.

Like it got crazy at the end.

Yeah.

So I'm excited to recap that.

It's really hard to watch week to week, but

you do what you do.

And I mean, it would have been nice like back in the day if we had watched Downton week to week and we could have been part of the downton conversation.

So it's it's cool to you know experience

to be a part of something exactly um so yeah oh today also my episode on sophia's podcast dropped sophia with an f she was on the toast yesterday the reception was so positive i'm so glad and then i did her podcast um which airs today so check that out i started listening to it this morning while i was getting ready but i haven't gotten to your segment yet i was um i started from the top and so i'm really excited about that it was so far so good and i'm excited to hear what you ladies chat about i don't even remember that was like that day was was such a blur, so maybe I need to listen to it again also to remind myself of how funny and charismatic I was.

According to this description, you talk about say yes to the dress.

Oh, I do.

Yeah, that's so.

I'll never stop laughing at say yes to the dress content.

I'm so glad, like, someone's enjoying it.

My trauma.

I mean, everyone's enjoying it.

It was just on, it just aired the other day.

Yeah, it just re-aired, which like is really a trigger point for me.

I'm sorry, but we all enjoy it.

I'm glad that everyone can, you know, laugh at me.

Yeah, laugh at your pain.

Yeah, pretty much.

Pretty much.

Okay, well, we could jump right in.

If you have nothing else that you want to share with the class on this beautiful Thursday, no, I just want to launch right in.

Yeah, I'm good.

Are you good?

I'm good.

Yeah, we have some good stories.

So I think without further ado, to do,

it is time for the fast five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

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Okay, our first story, some big news.

Kim Kardashian is on the cover of Vogue this month, which is always a huge deal, especially I feel like we all feel how big of a deal it is for her, even though it's happened now a number of times.

It's just always very exciting.

She says, I've chosen myself and now she's taking us inside her new world.

The photos are stunning.

I'm sure everyone saw the photos of the kids styled by Norris being the cutest fucking campers.

And the interview,

there's some, you know, highlights that people are sharing.

She's talking about her 40s.

She said, quote, my 40s are about being team me.

I'm going to eat well.

I'm going to work out.

I'm going to have more fun, spend more time with my kids and the people who make me happy.

And I feel like that's exactly what we're seeing from Kim in the last year and going forward.

And And other than that, I mean, the interview was like a little boring.

There wasn't like any bombshell.

She didn't even acknowledge like Pete, but it was just kind of, it was really just like a benchmark of where she is in her life right now.

Like, first of all, the pictures were stunning.

She looked gorgeous.

And I love that she had the kids in them.

The little anecdote that it was styled by North was one of the cutest things of all time.

The pictures of the kids are so sick.

Her kids are gorgeous, like really stunning.

And yeah, while the interview definitely was like lackluster, I feel like it's really evident of where she is in her life right now.

Like we've been seeing her and like

what she described for like the season that she's in in her life in this article is exactly how I perceive it.

Like she's so authentic.

She really is just like putting herself first for the first time in so long.

I feel like it was always like Kanye and the kids and her family and just like her career.

And now it's like she just wants to enjoy being a mom, being a businesswoman, like being a queen.

And I feel that radiating from her aura.

Yeah, for sure.

And I just want to say like the interview with Zach Lester, like not for any fault of Kim's, just like I from the interviewer's point of view, like sharing with us, like anecdotes and like, you know, the way that these

centerfold stories are often written, it's like just so cliche sometimes, like seeing her in her natural habitat, like you would never guess this is the most famous woman in the world.

And it's like, how many fucking times are we gonna read that about a person?

Especially right, it's almost like celebrities are people, too.

Yeah, no, and that's always like where they go with it.

And not that I was like expecting like a blockbuster article, but again, like really no new information from the Kardashian front for the stands.

Maybe for people who are like regular people who don't, you know, live up Kim's butt.

But for those of us who do, it's like we know all of these things.

That Kim is like the nicest person, that she's so sweet on time.

Hard work.

Yeah, like

we've been known.

We've been known 100%.

Those of us who primarily reside up her to us.

Courtney was quoted in the article quite a bit.

It was cute.

I I mean, I love to see Kim on the cover of Vogue.

I think her journey with Vogue has been so interesting.

Like her first Vogue cover, which was like widely criticized, was her and Kanye.

I don't know who did her makeup, but they should be fired immediately.

Like there was so much.

And there was a whole episode on it, remember, in the Kardashians?

Yeah.

And now this is just like her, I don't know how many times, but it's been many.

And I'm just so proud of her.

Like, I just love her.

Yeah, I think every time that she gets the cover of U.S.

Vogue, Vogue, it's an achievement.

And I also don't think there is a higher honor in the fashion world.

So we'll just keep doing it.

Right.

No.

And I think just from like a market, like, I know there's, you know, really like snobbish people in fashion who are like, Kim on the cover of Vogue.

Oh, my God.

Clutching their pearls.

But from a marketing perspective, like, Homegirl is selling way more copies than anyone else.

And there's a reason she's the most famous person in the world.

So I love it.

Love it.

Happy for her.

Like, you know, how happy this makes her, and that makes the fans really happy.

So we always love to get Kim content, and we got fam stuff too.

So it's all good.

And she's wearing skims, which is just so great for her billion-dollar brand.

But billions.

When you think about like billions.

When you think about Kim always talks about, you know, when she went to the Met Gala for the first time, she was Kanye's plus one.

Like, she like was a guest and she like was not welcome, really.

And Kanye was really the one who like introduced her to the the fashion world.

And now she like literally runs it.

It's just crazy.

Yeah, it's crazy.

Well, speaking of Kanye, that's a great segue into our next story because

Kanye and Julia Fox are rumored to be in an open relationship.

And also, Julia Fox was on Call Her Daddy this week.

I hadn't had a chance to watch it until yesterday.

And I have so many thoughts and assessments on.

on this girl who I really like did not know.

First of all, I'm cracking up because when she first came on the scene, we were like, this would be like if Snitch started started dating Kanye, like this like toasty.

Right.

No, in vain.

No, no, no.

No, that's not it.

That's not who she is.

She is not.

I mean, I had no preconceived notions of her, but if I had to describe her, first of all, I think she looks a lot like Michelle Trachtenberg.

And given that, she is the real life version of Georgina from Gossip Girl.

Like her,

her

upbringing, like she's born and bred in New York, like started going to clubs at 14, like committing crimes, doing drugs, all of these things.

Like she is Georgina.

Like I couldn't make it,

I couldn't separate the two.

And she has just lived like this extremely intense,

extreme artistic life.

And I feel like what she's doing now with Kanye is like the role she was born to play.

I don't know how Kanye found, like, how these two found each other because they're so well matched in the sense of what they're trying to do.

And I know that like they're in a relationship, but like I really, and she was asked like what do you think about people who say that this relationship is fake and she said you know time will tell which is also people do people think the relationship is fake I don't I haven't heard I don't I don't think that they're like

in love or falling in love no me neither but I don't think this is like a staged relationship I think this is like performance art based on like everything that she was saying like I think for

For Kanye, like he loves having like a muse.

She's so like interesting to look at and she's so fashion and she's been fashion and she's been art and that's her like career trajectory.

And she's an actress.

So she's just like playing this role.

And I think that works really well for Kanye because he gets to like flex his fashion muscles and he loves doing that.

He did it with Kim and he did it with Amber Rose.

And I think for her, like being in this

sort of like

almost, it's almost like an improv thing,

you know, is exactly role-playing.

It's role-playing.

And that's like a lot of what she did before she was an actress.

Like she was a dominatrix.

What she was explaining was how like she got her start in acting because you're really just like putting on a

persona.

So I think like being Kanye's muse and like stepping out the way that they are is everything that like she's done in her life put together as well.

So like the acting, the fashion, the art, the intensity, like I...

Don't see these two.

And I don't even think for one second, the way she was talking about him, there was, didn't sound like butterflies in the air or anything.

Just like this is an extremely cool experience.

They do call each other boyfriend and girlfriend, but I just think they're

like

they're in a business together.

I know what you mean.

It's like a really mutually beneficial relationship.

Yeah.

And I think they both think it's so cool.

They think the other is so cool.

They have a lot of respect for the other person.

And I'm sure that they do like hang out one-on-one and have a nice time, but I don't think that they're like

head over heels in love or anything like that.

And she didn't say that they were.

She didn't say that they weren't.

But that's the vibe I'm getting, that this is like, you know, live performance art.

And what did she have to say about Kim?

So she, she talked a bit about like how she wasn't going to like, you know, disrespect like a 10-year relationship by like commenting on this or that.

But she also talked about how a lot of people like compare her and Kim because they've worn a lot of the same things.

But like even when Julia was wearing those things, like she knew Kim had worn them because like Kim is an icon, but she was mostly coming from like the place of like

Kim wears a lot of Blen Siaga.

Like I wear a lot of Blen Siaga, but that's like both of us being influenced by Kanye.

Okay, I don't think people really compare her and Kim.

I don't think so either, but I don't know if what I read, like, I don't, I, I don't think I'm reading what everyone else is reading, yeah, because you know what I mean.

I haven't heard that this is like a fake relationship, or

and I don't think that anyone is really comparing her and Kim.

I think people are very intrigued by this relationship because it's so fast, it's so public, it's so weird.

He's like posting on Instagram, I want my family back, and then he has a girlfriend, like he spotted out with other women.

It's bizarre So I think people are intrigued, but I don't think people are like you know who's better Kim or Julia like it's not a competition.

No, I don't think that's they're the same at all and so I wasn't even so curious about how she feels about Kim.

And plus we've heard from on her podcast like she is a Kardashian.

And I don't think she would say anything that's going to get her

like tripped up or in trouble.

She doesn't like want to be that person.

And considering like her and Kanye, it doesn't feel like, you know, are this a great big love?

It's not like she's needing to be like, well, he's not with Kim anymore and he's with me.

Right.

Well, you know what?

Like this is a this is like a once-in-a-lifetime thing to happen to some girl, you know, like

Kanye.

is that guy like he can make anyone into anything and he's you know has these muses and those muses go on to do amazing things so i'm just glad it sounds like she's just like here for the ride for the journey she like knows how crazy it is but like she's living for it yes And this was the role she was born to play.

Like everything in her life leading up to now is like

all encompasses what she's doing with Kanye of like being this like out and about girl taking fashion risks.

Like she's not, she's just on

shy.

She's not, yeah, no.

And she was even talking about how like she now people like think she's in all these spaces and like

with all these famous people and and that she is just very much like, I've earned my spot here.

Like even when they were hanging hanging out with Madonna, she was like, I invited, I sat up that dinner and I invited Kanye.

Got it.

You know, she's not like a rando.

Right.

Like straggler.

But she is like a very like niche art fashion girly.

Yes.

And that's exactly what Kanye loves.

So

weird.

It's so, the whole thing is so weird.

But she said, told this really funny anecdote that remember when she was wearing the eyeshadow that everyone was like making fun of?

Well, she said like there was one time where Kanye wanted to put like a line across her nose to make it look like sunglasses

and she was like no that's like a that's a step too far I don't want that but I was thinking about it I was like that would actually be so cool well then it would like make sense like what they're trying to do like

sunglasses that like I make up and also if they did the line like going out all the way like I just thought that was a cool idea and sometimes that's why you gotta let Kanye do his thing hunter wear her and she said that she was like I should have let him do it oh okay okay we yeah we respect a queen who knows when she's wrong Yeah.

I just thought that was funny.

Maybe I'll try it.

I just think this is like the craziest social experiment.

It is.

And I just, I don't know how long it lasts for.

Neither does she.

Where do we go from here, Jax?

Where do we go?

I don't know.

I don't know.

It's a crazy time.

It's a crazy time for

the devolution of Kim Yee.

And then like when the peat of all it all, it's just like, it's a wild time.

It's a lot for me.

Do let me know.

Do let me know if you want me to come over and help me with your sunglasses made out of eyeshadow because i would be willing to help maybe we'll do it for a patreon when you do my makeup if you ever do my makeup oh when that day never comes yeah

okay are you ready for our next story

yeah i'm ready for the next story

great

Very sad update.

Bob Sagett has died due to head trauma.

His family confirms one month after he was found dead in an Orlando hotel.

So we're getting a bit of news and update here.

One month after the Full House star was found dead on January 9th at the Ritz-Carlton in Orlando, Florida, his family confirmed in a statement to people that he died due to head trauma.

They said the authorities have determined that Bob passed away from head trauma.

They have concluded that he accidentally hit the back of his head on something, thought nothing of it, and went to sleep.

No drugs or alcohol were involved.

So I've actually been like really curious and waiting for a follow-up on Bob Sagget because people had said it was a heart attack because there was immediately published that there was no foul play, no drug or alcohol abuse.

And so where do we go from here?

And I assumed it was a heart attack.

That's what I had read somewhere.

And this, like closing the chapter and having this be the,

the cause of death is like not

satiating at all.

You know, it's like.

It's such a tragedy in the sense that like it was so like these things happen all the time and people don't die.

Yeah, no, like a terrible, terrible accident.

Yeah.

And it just, it breaks the heart to hear that this is how he went.

And it reminds me of Billy Mays.

What happened to him again?

He was on an airplane.

If you guys don't know, the OG OxyClean guy, ever we all grew up, he was on an airplane, like taking down an overhead and got hit in the head with one of the suitcases, thought nothing of it, went home, went to sleep, and never woke up.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

This is like, you have to be really careful when you bump your head, especially if it's like you think maybe you're fine, you have a headache.

No, it's like, that's like a really scary thing.

And that's why they, remember when we were kids, it's like you would hit your head, you couldn't go to bed for 30 minutes.

Like, yeah, of course.

It's real.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Damn.

This story is just so sad.

I mean, so terrible.

Still, even it's been like a month in the outpouring of like love and just bobsaged tributes.

Like they keep coming in.

And I hope now just having a cause of death like gives his family some peace, but still, it's like.

I just feel like this is not the cause of death that brings peace.

It's like, oh, like so could have avoided this.

Like, if only this happened.

Yeah, exactly.

So sad.

And his wife just keeps posting like really cute videos of them.

And it's just like, it's like, it's one of the worst stories ever.

Yeah, agreed.

So just wishing his family like love.

And I hope this brings him some sort of closure.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our next story?

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Okay, our next story, some exciting news.

Snoop Dogg is thrilled to be the owner of Death Row Records, the label that launched his career.

That is so exciting.

The 50-year-old rap icon purchased.

Hmm.

I also read something about Snoop Dogg today.

Oh, okay.

So let's do this and then you want to share?

Yeah, he was sued for alleged sexual assault and battery.

So I just figured we should give a full picture of what's going on with Snoop Dogg.

Of Snoop Dogg's Day today.

Okay.

The 50-year-old rap icon purchased death row records from recording and music publishing company

MNRK Music Group, which is funded by the Investment Fort Blackstone.

The company's announced in a release on Wednesday.

Quote: I'm thrilled and appreciative of the opportunity to acquire the iconic and culturally significant Death Row Records brand, which has immense untapped future value, he said in the release.

It feels good to have ownership of the label I was part of at the beginning of my career and is one of the founding members.

So that's pretty cool to like have joined a music label when you're starting up and have so much success that you eventually purchase it.

Yeah, no, that's like us buying AOL.

Yeah, something like that.

No, that's cool, but there is more news with Snoop Dogg today.

So please.

Please share.

A woman alleges that Snoop Dogg and his associate, Bishop Don Magic Juan, sexually assaulted her after a show in 2013.

Snoop Dogg denies the claim.

So he's being sued for alleged sexual assault of a woman in Anaheim, California in 2013.

TMZ is reporting and documents are viewed by Pitchfork to confirm.

The woman, who's an actor, model, and dancer identified as Jane Doe, says that she attended a Snoop Dogg concert on May 29th of that year.

And in the lawsuit, Jane Doe alleges that Snoop Dogg's associate, Bishop Don Magic Juan, took her to his home against her will and the following morning removed his penis from his pants, quote, and forced his penis into her mouth.

The next day, according to the lawsuit, Juan allegedly took Doe, Jane Doe, to Snoop Dogg's studio, where Snoop Dogg is said to have cornered her in a bathroom stall and forced her into oral sex.

Snoop Dogg allegedly, quote, proceeded to masturbate and ejaculate on Jane Doe's upper chest and lower neck.

Jane Doe is suing Snoop Dogg for a violation of the Trafficking Victims Protection Act for sexual battery and for sexual assault.

In addition to Snoop Dogg and Bishop Don Magic Juan, the lawsuit names the defendants, the companies Gerber and Co., the Broadest Collection, Casa Verde Capital, and Mary Jane Events.

Snoop Dogg has denied Jane Doe's claims.

Pitchfork has emailed his representatives for comments.

So, I mean, he's also scheduled to be in the Super Bowl this weekend.

Oh my god, yeah.

I'm curious if

everyone's going going to, you know, walk the walk when they talk the talk about, you know, me too and time's up and stuff.

Right.

Oh, my God.

I didn't even think about that.

Yeah.

Wow.

That is wild.

Yeah, that is wild.

I thought that was the story you were bringing up and I was like, oh,

never mind.

No, I had seen like so much news about like how just monumental it is that he's buying this record company that he

started at, started, got his start at.

But no, I mean, that would have been a nice story if it weren't for the other story I saw, I think, this morning.

Right.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

And that's a really kind of graphic

story that she tells.

So, um,

very curious to see what, if anything, happens.

Yeah,

agreed.

Oh, wow.

Um, and how it affects the Super Bowl this weekend, which I forgot was this weekend.

Yeah, I mean, I can't watch.

I have a show, and I really do like love the Super Bowl just because, like, I love the commercials and I love the food.

Um, but we're gonna be having fun in Boston drinking spritzes, so like, I guess it's okay.

That is okay, And we're not going to be able to recap the Super Bowl.

Oh, my God.

That's so bad.

Like, that's so us, you know?

I know.

Like, how will you guys know who won the Super Bowl if we don't do the toast on Monday morning?

I don't know.

Damn.

Who do you think it's going to be?

Who's it against?

Rams versus Bengals.

We're rooting for the Bengals.

For the Bengals, but I think it's going to be the Rams.

That's what I said, too.

And also, you know, ever since we were like just,

we were talking about like nice things that, you know,

things we've heard about different players.

But of course, every player has a story and a journey.

And when we were talking about the Rams and all these different teams, I got so many messages about different

players on both teams.

So both teams are filled with really good people who want to win.

But there actually is a crazy story about the quarterback for the Rams.

So he and his wife have like been together since college.

You're so cute, Kelly.

She's a podcaster.

Yes, I meant to bring this up because you kind of slammed him the last time we talked about him.

Slam him.

I don't know him.

You slammed him like incredibly.

You went hard against Matthew Stafford.

I don't know.

I forget, but it was like just, and I forgot in that moment that he is married to Kelly and she has a podcast and they live in

Calabasas.

And she likes apparently spills like so much like fun tea about life there and people just love them.

And

that's a point.

That's a point in the Rams column.

I know, and I believe she went through like a really difficult time with a brain tumor and they were just like the beacon of hope for each other.

So, I think he is like, you know, that guy, and I think they are that couple for a reason.

Okay, so either way, we all win.

We all win.

I agree.

We all

win.

We all win because Jackson Mahomes is not at the Super Bowl.

And neither is Austin.

Well, you never know.

Austin could show up.

It is LA.

Maybe they'll take Snoop Dogg out of the halftime show and put it in Austin.

Perhaps.

I don't even want to know what it's like on the ground in LA this weekend, like trying to get to tickets, like every thirst monster on the planet running.

Even at like the restaurants, clubs, et cetera.

Like if everyone is in LA this weekend, like the traffic.

The traffic.

Yikes.

Yikes.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

I am.

And I'm not going to sing today.

I've sung two days in a row.

I think it's enough.

Don't push your luck.

Don't push my voice.

You have to sing tomorrow.

The final story.

I'm preparing an arrangement of sorts.

Oh, I'm so excited.

Okay, this fifth and final story is like really,

it's pretty disturbing.

Patrick Wilson, who we love, Morning Gory.

I will not.

I heard this story.

This man has been like one of my celebrity crushes for years.

Until now.

And now the thought of coming close to him makes me want to puke.

Patrick Wilson is shocking the world with his canine confession.

He says, quote, I've eaten dog poop.

I feel like he like said this and expected people to be like, oh yeah, that happened to me one time too.

Like it's, it's a dog owner thing.

And everyone's just like, get the fuck away from me.

Yeah, no, he thought it was like toast secret.

And it's not like that.

You know, when people like, they confess something, like, you know, like, I kind of like the smell of my own farts.

And a couple other people are like, yammy too.

It's like a human thing.

I think he thought that's what was going to happen here.

And absolutely nobody corroborated his story.

No, it's like that scene in Mean Girls where they're all admitting stuff and they all catch each other and then like you go a hair too far and you fall on your back.

And that's Patrick Wilson.

So he was interviewed by Empire Magazine and they asked him, what's the worst thing you've put in your mouth?

And he said, quote, it's probably dog shit.

I'm sure in my quest to pick up dog crap that I've licked the bag to open the bag and then it's on my hand and I have dog shit in there too.

And then when asked about his least favorite smell, he also brought up his beloved canines.

He said, you're talking to a guy that spends a good portion of the week cleaning up dog shit in his yard.

But I'm sort of immune to that now.

Okay.

I mean, a lot of people have a lot of dogs.

It seems as though he has three dogs.

And

they manage to raise those dogs all their lives without ever eating their duty.

Yeah, or even like thinking about, like, did I accidentally eat duty?

No.

Oof, this sends like a

chill down my spine.

Also, the idea of like licking your finger to open the bag, like, I'll sit never for five minutes.

It takes forever to open that bag.

I have time.

I have time.

Today I have the time.

It never even occurred to me to lick it.

That is

so

twisted and disgusting.

And I'm going to ask the question.

I think I know the answer, but like, does anyone relate to this?

Has anyone experienced something similar?

Or are we just, are we the outliers here?

Because this is twisted.

It is so twisted.

Shit.

It reminds me of that scene in succession, sort of, when cousin Greg is taking like snacks from the office in a poop bag and Tom is like, that's a poop bag.

And it's like, well, it's a bag for poop, but it's not like there's no poop in it yet.

But there might be.

It's meant for poop.

Plus, don't the manufacturers put like poop chemicals on it so that, you know, to conceal the smell?

They're not just like...

Well, I guess there could be some bags that are scented, some that are just like plastic.

I guess, but like, if I was feeling really sick, like I was gonna vomit and I had to either vomit in my hands or open up one of Theo's duty bags and vomit in it, like I think I'd vomit in my hands.

Of course.

Yeah, duty bags are just reserved for duty.

Wait, duty bags with a duty in it or not?

No.

Oh, oh, without a duty in it, I would rather vomit in it.

To me, it's just not a plastic bag.

I can't explain it.

I've never thought of it like that.

Yeah.

Me neither.

This is a lot of duty combo.

We always take it back to duty.

And I mean, I'm all for celebrities, like being authentic authentic and upfront and honest, but I do feel like there is a line.

And I do,

I want to say, I think that Patrick Wilson crossed the line.

I think so, too.

And I don't know if you can uncross a line.

And especially because this isn't a man who makes news a lot.

Like he's in some big movies.

He's not.

He's a little like, he's a Judy Greer.

Like he's in everything, but like no one really knows him.

He's in it.

Like for the, he's like an actor.

He's not a celebrity really.

So it's not like we see headlines about him every day that'll wash us down the news cycle.

Like, this is going to be the top of his Google search for a while, and it's going to be the thing that people associate with him.

Like, I didn't know anything about this man's personal life until this, and now it's the only thing that I know.

And I wish I could know it.

And that's something he's going to have to live with, the consequences of his actions.

Yeah, I guess considering like no one's ever really like cared so much, I'm sure he's shocked that this is getting so much

embarrassing.

Yeah.

Beyond.

Well, those are the fast five stories.

I feel as though you needed to know them.

And now we can launch into our TV recap because Real Houses of Orange County was on last night.

Pretty good episode.

I'm looking forward to your thoughts.

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Okay, Real Houses of Orange County.

We finished up in Mexico.

Noella was just like on one.

I couldn't even like look her.

She was being so annoying.

And when the women get back to New York, there's a bunch of like really cute activities.

And I thought that the night on Shannon's boat and the Hibachi looked like such a fabulous get-together.

No, it looked so nice.

I was sad that Gina wasn't there because that was like what the evening needed.

And I'm sure she was like busy or something, but her absence wasn't big.

The boat wasn't that big.

I actually don't think she could have been invited.

But I guess, but then couldn't, I guess Shannon wanted to invite Heather because like they need to, you know, move forward in their relationship.

And Emily and Shane, when I saw Shannon open the door for Emily and Shane and like Shannon and Shane hugged, I was like, how do these people know each other?

I thought the same thing.

And if you look, Shannon didn't even like fully put her arm around Shane.

She like hovered over his back with her hand.

I thought this is so weird.

I saw the same thing.

I was like, what do these two people talk about?

I don't think that they do.

But no, the evening was so beautiful.

Like activities-wise, it was beautifully planned.

It was hysterical, like the boat, and Shannon being, you know, the coxswain.

And then they had Hibachi, which I know is like your dream.

But I also thought the conversation at the table was just like good, deep, meaningful conversations where people are adult, like people are sharing, people are being open.

It's like not surface level.

And I was just like, this sounds like, this is, you know, goal, like 40-something-year-old goals to have an evening like that of like, you know, good fun, good food, and good convo.

I completely agree.

I also thought, I feel like every time I see Terry and Heather like out of their comfort zone, like not at their house on their terms, I just feel like awkward.

I can't explain it.

It's like a dog walking on its hind legs.

On its hind legs.

It's like a school.

You just never know.

You never know how they're going to behave.

And even when she like came on the boat, and like, I was like, what is she going to drink from this boat?

And there was champagne.

I was like, phew.

Okay.

We're covered.

I agree.

It's very funny to see them out of their element because they, you know, everything is so controlled with them.

With them.

Yeah.

And also, I think part of the reason why she didn't invite Gina is because, and we talk about this next week, like it's clear that Shannon is like very threatened by Heather's relationship with Gina.

And like, when she finds out they're going to New York together next week, she like starts to cry at lunch.

So I have to assume that was like some sort of reasoning.

Yeah, I love Heather's friendship with Gina, and I understand what she's saying about it's just like easy to get along with her.

And I feel like people feel that way about other people.

And the issue with housewives is so often you don't feel that, and you're like trying to like force these connections that aren't there.

But when two people just hit it off, and you don't have to like question whatever, what someone is saying, like every single thing that they say, it's like, are you saying this to hurt me?

Like, what is your motive?

It's just like nice to click with someone and not have to like constantly look over your shoulder.

I also love that they went back to the quiet woman and they referenced the evening.

The owner was like, we'll get you a paper plate.

Like, that is a gorgeous bistro.

I would love to go.

Yeah.

No, the food sounded so good.

Like, the muscles with whatever sauce, I'll have a heaping pile of those as well.

Yeah, it was just like a fun evening.

Noella obviously had to ruin it just like by being herself,

which was sad.

But like, I don't know.

She's just like really bothering me.

And

I'm having a hard time like giving her my sympathies, you know, like in housewives, if someone's going through a really hard time, like you really feel like we gave Shannon a pass for a while.

Teresa gets a pass all the time.

And I don't know, like she's just so not making herself sympathetic.

Yeah, no, I don't have sympathy.

First of all, those women got, you know, sympathy because like we knew them before.

We went through this with them and we wanted to see them come out the other side.

Like we don't know Noella from Adam.

So for you to show up with all of this baggage and the way that she's handling so much of it is just so so deranged.

Even the thing with like the stack of vaginas, which was just so bizarre.

So Emily says, Jen told us you got a stack of vaginas for your wedding.

And Noella is like, why doesn't Jen talk about her own life?

First of all, that's all she's doing.

Why'd you tell Jen?

She's like,

and it's not like it's something that you told Jen in confidence because you guys like aren't even friends.

And she, I didn't think it was weird that Jen shared that with the other girls.

That's like not.

It didn't sound like a secret.

The two of you don't have secrets.

You're not even close.

So like if it's something that you tell Jen, then it's something that Emily and Shannon can know.

And then when Shannon's like, how does it make you feel that Jen told us this?

It's like, what are you?

Producer plant.

Literally.

It was too heavy-handed.

And also the stack of vaginas thing was just like so bizarre.

It's so funny.

Like, I don't know.

I just find nothing Noella does to be like funny or quirky or like cute.

I just, I'm not buying whatever it is that Noella's selling.

And she's just really starting to annoy me.

Yeah, no, she's been annoying me and she continues to but her looks are just top tier looks the glam the hair everything it's it's top housewife glam it really is and even when she's like not in glam she's always perfection it's it is it's true it's it's it's a beautiful thing to be it counts for a lot it does

And then the weirdest part and kind of the climax was of the episode was after, you know, Jen got some good wedding advice, marriage advice from Heather, she decided to ambush her husband on camera.

Um, and I think, like, the fact that he, they didn't, maybe he did say it and it wasn't aired, but the fact that, like, no mention of the camera obviously makes Ryan look like a prick, but I think they, this is probably a conversation they really need to have as a couple, and having it on camera for the first time is no place to do it.

Not at all.

And I actually felt like in the beginning when she sat down with him, like, he was kind of being a teams player.

She was like, you say this, but I need you to say more than that.

Like, like, tell me more about how my day was good and and productive.

And he like sat there like a child, like trying to answer the question correctly.

And like, he, he, and I didn't think he was being facetious.

I think he was just like doing as he was told.

He was being like, he was obeying.

Yeah.

And then I think he got to his wits and he's like, I'm not doing this on camera because it's, it's pretty awkward.

And also like, I, when Jen describes their situation to Heather, I get it.

And I get that they're neither of them feel appreciated.

They've both made sacrifices.

They're both envious of the sacr, like what the other has.

She wants to be home more.

Like he wants to be out more, et cetera.

But then when she sat him down and like tried to explain the issues to him, I was like, this feels like a reach.

You know, I just didn't see, she wasn't aligning the problem she told Heather to the problem she told Ryan.

Which is it?

Like, do you not feel appreciated?

Or do you guys just have like a dynamic you need to work out?

Because that's what you told Heather.

I think it's like this.

It's like she doesn't feel appreciated.

So she tells Ryan she doesn't feel appreciated.

And he says, I appreciate you.

And then she's, she just doesn't like feel it.

And like, you know what I mean?

It's like you can say all the right things, but it's just like they're, they're not connected.

And so, and that's not something that's going to be achieved on

camera.

And also, like, I felt a little bit, you know, like with the, like, she might have been a little tipsy and the conversation was just going fucking nowhere.

I just, like, wasn't rooting for her.

When up until recently, I didn't love her in the beginning, but with every episode, I'm like, you know, she's growing on me.

She's like actually smart.

And I like her relationship with Heather.

And then, like, she sat down with her husband, and I'm like, shut up.

Like,

I just wasn't rooting for her at all.

And especially after last week when she was crying in the gym and like, I was crying in the gym.

So here for her.

I was ready for her to come home and talk to Ryan and put him in his place.

But then like I, I, I'm neither Team Jen nor Ryan.

So it was very confusing to me to feel like so sympathetic towards her and then be like, wait, why are we crying again?

Agreed.

And she continued that like chaotic, messy nature on Watch What Happens Live last night.

I had to call you immediately because I just watched the first few minutes

just to see what she was about and to see how she like came off on Watch What Happens Live because ever since Larsa, I just just realized it's such a great audition.

I could fall in love with a housewife.

And I was so physically uncomfortable with my cringe that I had to call you.

And like, it was, I don't think I watched more than five minutes, but it was so painful.

Painful.

She was just like

speaking gibberish.

Like, Andy asked her question.

And she was just like, she was saying English words, but they did not have any meaning.

Like, they were just like,

like, what?

Because Andy's question was valid.

Like, how much of your argument with your husband had to do with the fact that he didn't want to do it on camera?

Not that he didn't want to do it at all.

And she's like, well, blibbla, do that, did that, do, did that, do that, did that, do that, do that, do that, do,

do, da, do.

So I was like, what?

I didn't even make it to that question.

The only questions I heard were, why is his name Ryan when it's Ryan?

Oh, and you know what her answer was?

Pita, do that, pipa, blue, pa, pita, duda, tu.

Ta-taro.

This was literally her answer.

She's like, when I met him, his name was Ryan.

Then he told me his name was Ryan, and we would meet other people and he would say Ryan.

And I was like, where is the egg?

What?

Like,

what doesn't answer the question?

What the fuck is his name?

Right.

And then the other question that was asked was about the stack of vaginas.

And it was clear that she was trying to be funny.

That's what I was doing.

She was trying to be funny.

And that she hadn't watched the episode because she was like, well, what does that even look like?

Which is what we were all wondering until we saw the fucking picture.

And she was like, is it horizontal?

Is it vertical?

And it's like, watch the episode.

Oh, I didn't think that maybe she hadn't seen the episode because, yeah, like I was curious, yeah, what's the stack of vaginas look like too?

And then I saw the picture.

I'm like, oh, look, there's a stack of vaginas.

So I had no more questions after that about what it looked like.

And she was like, is it like side, side, side?

Like stack, stack, stack, or like a card, a deck of cards.

Like you shuffle the vagina.

Like, she was just not being funny.

Like, and it was bothering me.

And I did turn it off right after that, also.

When she, this is when I, I literally turned it off when she was like, is it like this, this, this?

That's when I called you.

Yeah, and that's when I had just turned it off and went to bed.

I'm literally dying.

So it was just not a good week for Dr.

Jen.

No, it really wasn't.

And I don't think the episode got much better at all.

Also,

I wanted to say one more thing, which was when Noella was like to Gina, like, I'm wearing my leopard jersey.

And Gina in her concessional is like, I'm not from Jersey.

Not from Jersey.

Yeah, no, like that's rude.

It was very rude.

It's like, you literally don't

listen to me.

Leopard is like a really unique pattern.

And when someone's like, I'm wearing leopard for you, that's like, it can be insulting.

Not everyone can pull off leopard.

No, and it just depends on the person, really.

Like, some people are just like animal print people.

I actually would think that, like...

Lisa Rina.

Yeah.

She loves Leopard.

Yep.

Even I feel like Heather Dubrow likes Leopard.

I've actually never worn Leopard in my life, I don't think.

I'm not a Leopard girly, but you can't be everything, you know?

No, you can't.

And you already are so many things.

I'm so many things.

I'm like so pleny, like this, that.

I can't also be like Animal Prince.

So what did you think of the Gilded Age?

Oh my God, it's so just stunning.

And I'm really enjoying it.

Still has the community theater theatrics happening a little bit, like with the staging, but it's okay.

They'll find their groove.

Also, I feel like some of the sets, like they're just so big.

They're a little bit like

cavernous, you know, it's not like an intimate, it's not like the kitchen at downtown where we're like all cozy up.

It's like a big fake kitchen.

But I think that's also like the sign of the times.

They were building these enormous, like huge, cavernous homes, and that's how it felt.

So I'm loving the show.

I'm loving the cast of characters.

I mean, the plot twist with the

Morrises and the Fanes.

Yeah, was just really crazy.

Mr.

Fane is very handsome.

I know.

And then I didn't even realize that, like, their wives are so different in age that like they have different aged husbands.

Yeah, yeah.

I guess I didn't realize that either because he was really young.

I thought he was someone's secretary.

Me too.

I was like, who's handsome here?

Yeah, he's up and coming.

Yeah.

Is it her son, maybe?

So obviously, Mr.

Russell was going to save those guys, right?

The Alderman?

I think he was going to make a deal with them.

Yeah, because also, does he even, was he, was that always his plan to like push them to the edge so that they came to the table?

Embarrass them like the way that they embarrassed him and his wife.

Yeah.

An eye for an eye, bitch.

Or if he took this all the way, like, does he have a bigger plan?

Well, if he took it all the way, owning all the shares that he bought while the company was down, like, he would then be like a, he would be a publicly owned company where he owns a majority of the, like, he would be a billion beyond billionaire, right?

Yeah, but not if there's no station.

So he, like, did need the alderman to come around.

Yeah.

Um, so it was, like, sad the way that it ended up, especially considering he's, like, going to have mercy on them.

Or is he?

I don't know.

Next week.

I kind of looked at it.

I think he is, but like, is the town like they so they are now in a position of power, the Russells.

But when everyone finds out that Mr.

Morris committed suicide because of Mr.

Russell, like, are they going to hate the Russells and then they're going to be outcasts again?

Or are people going to fear them and then respect them, you know?

Yeah, I imagine it's a little bit of both because still, like, the Fanes and all those other men, like, they do need Russell to come around.

So I don't know how far they'll push him out.

Yeah.

Um,

girl across the street, Marion Brooke.

She's a bit of a pain in the ass.

I like her.

I do like the dynamics inside her home, like with her aunts, and I just find it all very interesting.

But she herself, I'm like,

shut up.

Like, she's just annoying me.

Oh, I think she's cute.

I agree.

I love the aunties.

And like to see that aunt Agnes is,

you know, because she's so

mean.

But she's also clearly like looking out.

And it's like, who is the Dowager Countess in this show?

I don't know yet.

It also could be Mrs.

Aster, who was like here for Mr.

Russell

causing a scene at the bazaar.

No one is the Dowager yet.

I have yet to meet anyone who's even remotely funny.

No, me too.

Or it just says, wise, like, everything you say is like on point.

I think Agnes is like completely,

she's way too in the past.

Yeah.

See, the Dowager was actually

wrong about a lot of stuff.

No, but she was like stubborn.

Yeah, Agnes is wrong about a lot of stuff.

Yeah, I agree.

And the thing with the Dowager, she was always right.

And even though everyone thought she was like so old and conservative, she was a forward thinker.

Yeah, no, and she had like, it was a blend of both.

She wasn't just like dogmatic and just chose the old way just because.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And it's crazy.

There's only three episodes.

So I like it.

I do.

It definitely, it grows on you.

I hate watching episode by episode, but the episodes at least are long enough.

It's like watching a movie.

Definitely.

And Brew loves pumpkin.

I can't even tell you.

Has Theo said anything about him?

Yeah, he said,

It's just so stinking cute.

What's crazy is that if you think about it, this show and the show 1883 take place in the literal same exact time.

And like they're so different.

Isn't that interesting?

Because New York was a bustling metropolis.

And like they're going out west, but it's like, look at how they're living and look at how they're living.

That's true.

Wow.

You're such a history girly.

Yeah.

And it's crazy that we're getting like these American history shows at the exact same time.

Yeah.

When it rains, it pours.

When it rains, it pours.

Okay, well, that's really all I have to say today.

I'm wearing so much makeup.

It's starting to itch.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, but you've been futzing.

If you're watching on YouTube, I've been futzing with my face the whole fucking episode.

It's so itchy.

But I have an event to go to tonight for everyone who's coming to the Spritz Society X Lux Club event.

Should I leave my makeup on?

It'll be 12 hours.

I'm thinking maybe just taking my skin off and keeping my eyes.

That's a good idea, but definitely leave some of it on, if not all of it, because you look so stunning and you're going to a party.

And

I'm just so itchy.

Like, I'm dying to scratch my face.

Okay, take off your face.

Take off your face.

You do a nice face anyway.

Maybe.

That is the nicest thing you've ever said.

So, tomorrow is your final episode.

It is.

And I just feel like we should wait till tomorrow to talk about it.

Like, you know, like, let's not talk about bad things.

No, I know, but whenever it's like the final day, I actually forget to talk about it.

So it's like, because I was thinking about it this morning, I was like, better to share today as opposed to tomorrow when, like, I'll literally forget.

And then, and then I won't say, I'll never have like acknowledged the space that we were in.

That I understand.

That I do.

Like, I'm, I was just feeling it more today than than I probably will be tomorrow, is all.

I understand now.

I understand now.

The reason for the season.

Well, that's our show, you guys.

Thank you so much for listening to the Morning Toast, the Millennial Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

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Hope you guys have an amazing Thursday, and we'll see you tomorrow for Friday, Friday.

It's Jackie's last Friday.

Goodbye.

Bye.

Love ya.