S5 Ep22: Pennies and Nickels: Monday, February 7th, 2022

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Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the Morning Toast.

Happy Monday.

Hey, Claude, how are you doing?

It's not only Monday, it is happy last Monday before Jackie goes on her maternity leave.

So I think the better question is, Jackie, how are you doing?

Thank you for asking.

I know, as I said it, I was going to say, like, this is my last happy Monday for a while, but I just feel like that's too sad for everyone.

I didn't want to remind everyone, but it's true.

This is my last Monday on the show for a while, and I'm doing good.

I mean, I'm more out of breath than ever, so just bear with.

Bear with me.

Did you listen to my story the other day when I was talking about how I get so out of breath on the podcasts?

Because I watch your stories with sound because I respect you.

Thank you so much.

Well, you've been doing closed captioning because you respect me, and I appreciate that.

Yes.

But if you listen to the most recent episode of The Redheads, where I really like host and I talk a lot,

at one point it sounds like I'm about to break down and start crying.

Like,

everyone else was just like waiting for me to stop.

And we all started laughing so hard.

I was so out of breath.

And they were like, how does that not happen to you on the toast?

And I was like, Claudia never lets me speak for this long.

And that's why, like, what I do is so important, you know?

No, I didn't even realize how much oxygen you're saving me by cutting me off all this stuff.

See, that's the thing.

Like, I care so much about the health and wellness of you and your child that I won't let you speak because I know it's not good for you, you know?

Yeah, no, you're such a giver.

Thank you so much.

You know what?

Not to cut you off,

I actually like people always say, like, Claudia never lets Jackie talk.

Yeah, I know.

And if it was something I could control, like, I swear to God, I would stop.

It's no disrespect to you at all.

But I did listen to another podcast.

I won't say what it was.

I listened to another podcast this weekend with two hosts.

And my God, one of them did not shut the fuck up.

And I was like, let this other person get a word in.

And I'm like, oh my God, is this how people feel listening to our show?

I wonder.

And I'm so curious to know what podcast you listen to I'll tell you after just the one that was talking like is like just kind of annoying and like that's literally me like I am really concerned now that I'm giving off the same energy and to everyone who's ever had to listen to an episode of this podcast like I do apologize but you know what I realized okay two things I'm gonna say one first I listened to another podcast a while ago and one person was cutting off the other person I was like well what was the other person gonna say can you shut up

but sometimes you cut me off when like I wasn't gonna say anything much more impactful.

So I'm saving me.

So you're kind of like saving me and making it look like you're leaving them wanting more, but I had nothing to say.

No, if anything, like I'm the villain of this podcast and I'm only helping your like Q ratings go up.

Thank you so much.

That's why I do what I do, honestly.

You're such a giver.

We so appreciate it.

I want to hear how your weekend was at the farm.

We're so glad to see you back home that you decided that you would go back home.

I know it painted me.

You know what?

Like,

it did because if it wasn't like a Sunday, there would have been nothing telling me to come back home.

But we do have a really busy week this week.

And I'm also going back out on tour this weekend.

So I just wanted to

like reset at home, even though I do miss the farm life, but I did have such a great weekend.

I went out in Philly because Brian really lives like equally between Philly and New York City.

So we decided to go out in Philly and I had so much fun.

Like Philly is lit.

I went all over.

We went to this place, Fabrica, which is like dinner theater.

So you eat, the food was actually poisonous, but like it didn't matter because they put on such a great show.

They had like aerial dancers, drag queens,

comedians.

Like it was just like a really cool concept for

a restaurant.

Like there's, I don't think there's anything like that in New York.

There was burlesque.

It was very, very cool.

And we had a lot of fun.

That's really cool.

I feel like there's a lot of that in like

where did I see it?

Where was I?

Like in

Europe, like in Saint Trope and stuff like that, that's what they they do, like those dinner shows.

And they're really amazing.

And I feel like no one's been able to do like a good job of replicating it here necessarily, but it sounds like that's exactly what you experienced.

And like the restaurant was beautiful.

We sat down and was like, it feels like Ibiza.

It was really, really cool.

Yeah, Ibiza.

Ibiza.

I think that's very cool.

That's really, really cool.

Yeah, right.

Yeah, that's cool.

So that was really fun.

And then we hit up a bunch of gay bars, which are just different than the gay bars in New York.

Like they were just so complex and so different.

And they were like multi-leveled.

So the one that we ended up at, Tavern on Camak, I think I'm pronouncing that correctly.

The first floor, it's like a piano bar, which you know I love.

I did perform a song because it was like karaoke and I like, no one was living for it.

Like they're like, get this girl out of here.

Yeah, it was sad.

It was so sad.

And I have the whole thing on video and like I refused to watch it or send it to anyone because I really thought I did something, but I was like blacked out and I was drinking fireball and tequila, which I never do.

Like I always stick with tequila.

So I was just out of control.

And my voice was just like not where it needed to be.

So that video will never see the light of day.

And there were a few toasters there.

So if you guys heard that, no, you didn't.

Okay.

Okay.

You know what?

That's actually the perfect story

just to segue quickly into our first edition of Unburden Yourselves today.

And I feel like that's actually a really embarrassing little anecdote that you just shared.

And I appreciate you unburdening yourself.

Yeah, I'm unburdening myself.

In the spirit of the segment.

Yes, today is our first day.

We've collected, we got so many emails, you guys, everyone unburdening themselves with embarrassing shit that they've done over the weekend.

So, we'll be sharing that at the end of the show.

And thank you to everyone who submitted.

Don't worry.

It is, of course, anonymous.

And if you want to submit, it's not too late.

Unburden yourselves at gmail.com.

So then we went to the thing about Philly is that, like, in city proper, there are casinos.

So it was like really cool to go from like bar to bar to casino.

Like, we don't have that sort of lifestyle in New York.

And we spent like the next four or five hours at the casino just being like blacked out and diabolical.

Then we went to Wawa and then we fell asleep in the car ride home.

And

it was really a gorgeous night like really one of my best nights for real did you win money or did you lose money

what do you think I guess you would have said we went to the casino and I won money if you had won no but the thing is were the losses when I were the losses staggering No, so for me, when I go to a casino, it's not about winning.

It's about losing the least amount possible.

And I've definitely lost way more than I did on Friday night.

So I feel good about it.

Okay.

Okay.

That's it.

It could be worse.

And you had a good time.

And sometimes that's the price you pay.

Exactly.

How was your weekend?

I'm sure similar vibes.

Similar vibes went to the casino.

Brew and I went to a gay bar where Brew sang at the piano, but he was a hit.

That was the difference.

Everyone was living for it.

Of course.

No, I had a productive weekend in the sense that I watched relevant television, you guys.

Not just Pole Dark, which I finished.

And I'm so glad that it's over and that there's not a new season coming.

Thank you.

Goodbye.

Good day, sir.

Thank you next.

Thank you next.

And then I treated myself finally to Real Housewives of Miami and it was such a treat.

Oh my God, I'm so excited to talk about it.

Like, here's the thing.

I miss, I mean, first of all, the show is amazing and it's on another level than the other shows than the crap ola that we're watching.

One.

Crap ola.

But two, like, I really miss, like, binge watching housewives is what, like, why we're about housewives.

It's what life is about.

If I was watching these episodes week to week, I don't know that I would say that they're so amazing because it's not like so much happened, but I was just able to like really enter the world.

And it wasn't like so every week, I'm into it, and then it's over.

So it was really enjoyable to binge watch it.

Obviously, that doesn't work for the other shows because we've recapped them here, but it kind of like reignited my love for Housewives, which I know all of you know has been lacking.

And it just gives like OG vibes, like rich, amazing editing.

It looks like selling sunset.

Like, it's gorgeous.

It's really gorgeous.

And I can't wait to recap it.

I'm so excited to recap it.

I'm so glad that you watched too because we'll both both share our thoughts, even though we were like FaceTiming all weekend about it, laughing so fucking hard.

And then I thought I watched something else, but

it's not coming.

Oh, obviously I watched Salt Lake City.

Right.

And I started a new book last night that's like a silly rom comie book that I like.

literally I read for 20 minutes and I'm like 30% in.

You know the feeling?

Let me know if you like it because that definitely sounds like something I would be into.

Okay, so far so good.

It's called Made in Manhattan, M-A-D-E.

Oh, okay, because I was like copyright.

Yeah.

So yes, TV recap.

We have Real House Diesel in Miami.

Last night's Euphoria was literally like a life-changing episode.

Like, I need to talk about it.

We'll do it in the TV recap.

It was life-changing.

Salt Lake City.

I watched the hating game, and we don't need to put it in the TV recap.

Like, it was a cute movie.

Like, if you liked the book, you'll like the movie.

It was exactly the same.

Lucy Hell was great.

It wasn't like, you know,

a life-changing film that's going to, you know, win Oscars, but it's cute.

And I started the new Colleen Hoover book.

Amazing.

Look at you, content queen.

Yeah, the farm life is definitely for me.

Yeah, everyone's talking about last night's episode of Euphoria.

So I look forward to you breaking that down so I can understand like what shook the world so hard.

Oh my God.

It was quake word.

Have you ever watched something?

I used to feel this way when I was younger and watched a lot of SVU.

When it gets like scary, like your whole body is watching and you're like, have such a pit, and you have to remind yourself like multiple times, like, it's a TV show.

These are not real characters.

This is not something that actually happened.

It was so pit-inducing.

And Ben never watches, but he was like in bed watching with me last night.

And he was like, is every episode like this?

I'm like, no, like this is special, unique.

Oh, my God.

Okay, that's a lot.

It was a lot.

Okay, wow.

And then also after Friday's episode wrapped, like all this stuff came out with Kim and Kanye.

So we have a lot to recap in the Fast Five, in Unburden Yourselves, in the TV recap.

And I just think like we have to stop dilly dallying and get right to it.

And get right into it.

Literally right after we wrapped on Friday, we saw that Kim finally responded to Kanye and I was like, we could have like hopped back on and recorded more, but I'm actually glad that we didn't because so much stuff has come out since that like it requires a whole Monday morning debrief and that's what we're here to do.

So without further ado, to do to do, it is time for the fast five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

How?

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Okay, first story update from last week.

Kim Kardashian hit back at Kanye West's hurtful comments about North's TikTok.

So as discussed last week, Kanye took to Instagram to talk about the fact that he does not want his eight-year-old daughter on TikTok, and who does he need to reach out to or speak to to make sure that this doesn't happen.

Then in a surprising twist of events, Kim responded on Instagram stories, and she really hasn't been responding to a lot of his outcries.

So this was major.

She said, Kanye's constant attacks on me in interviews and on social media is actually more hurtful than any TikTok North might create.

As the parent who is the main provider and caregiver for our children, I am doing my best to protect our daughter while also allowing her to express her creativity in the medium that she wishes with adult supervision because it brings her happiness.

DeForce is difficult enough on our children, and Kanye's obsession with trying to control and manipulate our situation so negatively and publicly is only causing further pain for all.

From the beginning, I have wanted nothing but a healthy and supportive co-parenting relationship.

because it's what's best for our children and it makes me sad that Kanye continues to make it impossible every step of the way.

She said she wants to handle all matters privately regarding the children and hopefully he can finally respond to the third attorney he has had in the last year to solve any issues amicably.

So not only was this, in my opinion, a perfect statement, it was also a groundbreaking moment because ever since the divorce, Kim in ups, downs, highs, lows, Kanye saying things, she has never once responded.

I do believe the only other time before they got divorced, she released a statement when he was on his Twitter rant just being like, you know, dealing with someone who suffers from a mental illness is really difficult.

And we asked for privacy at this time.

So this is like groundbreaking because I think her intention was to never handle anything publicly, co-parent for the kids, remain, you know,

honorable and all that.

But he pushed her so hard.

And I think the implication that Kim is doing something that's not in the best interest of their children is like what really set her off because she's such a good mom.

And I think wherever you land on like, should kids be on social media, it doesn't matter.

It's like an issue that should be handled privately between the mom and the dad.

Like, I don't care what your opinion is, what my opinion is.

Like, it's not our child.

Like, it doesn't matter.

Right.

And this is not the way to go about it, even if your message is totally, you know, justified and on point.

Yeah, him not wanting North on social media is a reasonable thing that he should ask him privately.

Yes.

Then Kanye has been posting all weekend.

He has since deleted all of his posts, but there have been some,

you know, bombshell ones.

He posted a screenshot of her statement and said, what do you mean by main provider?

America saw you try to kidnap my daughter on her birthday by not providing the address.

You put security on me inside of the house to play with my son, then accused me of stealing.

I had to take a drug test after Chicago's party because you accused me of being on drugs.

Tracy Romulus, stopped manipulating Kim to be this way.

So, this also harks back to remember a few weeks ago when he was talking about like Kim's publicists and how she has these people around her that he's like not here for.

And we tried to like explain away that it wasn't Tracy and that it's probably some rogue publicist who she hired a third party but uh it's Tracy yeah and the thing is is you know this is obviously very reminiscent of Kanye's Twitter rants where he would say crazy things delete them and I always um associate his you know odd behavior on social media for someone who never posts ever on social media with you know him struggling

with with some of the stuff that he goes through.

So I don't know, I do feel weird like living for this, like, oh, look, Steph Chef's husband was the one who gave Kanye Kim's number.

Like, i and i see people like commenting on it being like oh my god crazy it makes me very sad it really does and i hope that for what i i my perception of this whole thing for what i believe to be going down like i just hope everyone can find peace because this isn't like fun drama or gossip it's like no it's sad it's sad uh it's very sad i do feel for kim i'm sure this is an incredibly like frustrating situation for her and i think also for kanye also i just wanted to clear up because i think last week when we were assuming that kanye didn't want north on tick tock it was like because of like being in the public eye.

And he was like, well, we were like, well, he put her on stage at his show and blah, blah, blah.

But I think it's more to do with, and something else that we spoke about last week, unrelated, with like the damaging effects of social media, like on children and especially young girls, which is like a different conversation.

And I do think that like TikTok contributes a lot to it.

So I think while his message for a lot of people is extremely valid,

the delivery is piss poor as bad as it gets.

And it's just not on us to have an opinion on how they parent their children.

And so him putting it in the public discourse makes everyone think that they have an opinion that people give a shit about.

I don't care what your philosophy on social media is for your kids.

I will handle it my way.

You handle it your way.

And Kim and Kanye can handle it how they see fit.

So I just, I just feel like this whole story gives me a pit.

And it just makes me feel, you know, reminiscent of other times where he's been acting out on social media and what implications that has on his mental health.

Yeah, no, it definitely gives me a pit.

And as someone who was like, you know,

my ship was leveled because I thought that they were in a good spot and co-parenting well and everyone was doing like what was best and happiest for them.

This is like a sad for the Kim Yay stands who were still holding on.

Not to the hope of a romantic relationship, but just to like this family unit.

Like this is really

not good.

No, it's not.

And I think when we all like gossip about it and post about it, we should just keep that in mind, you know, like this is someone's family.

It's someone's mental health.

and it's not like fun gossip it's it's sad yeah agreed but we have some happy kardashian news which is that kylie jenner has welcomed a baby boy with travis scott she posted last night on instagram a photo black and white photo of baby's hand and i'm assuming stormy's hand with a blue heart saying 2222 and that's all we've got for sure and chris posted that she has a grandson so we know it's a boy plus it was a blue heart and now it's it's time for name speculation.

And

there's a lot of like strong guesses coming through.

Yeah.

So I would like to throw my weight behind this one particular theory that I saw on TikTok.

I do not claim that I invented this.

I did not.

People on TikTok are saying it because a lot of the emojis and like the things coming out of the baby shower were like heavy use of the word angel.

Now, I don't think that the baby's name is angel, but now a lot of people on TikTok are, you know, coming up with angel-like names.

Heaven, Halo.

So I'm thinking something in the angelic realm.

Okay, that's a good guess.

The names that are coming out, also, I saw the last week that people think it's Valentine.

No, I don't think so.

I don't think it's that either.

That's like a name from Pole Dark.

So maybe she was also watching

and that could have inspired her.

But there was one name that's like sort of making the rounds, but it's not as strong a guess as the others, which is Sunny.

And I think that could be it because it would go really well with Stormy.

Yeah, but remember when Kim head north and then we thought like the next one would be like east?

Yeah.

But it's not, I don't, it's not like stormy and rainy.

Like it's, first of all, it's their sun and it's sunny.

And then it also like they, they go nicely.

I think it's a possibility.

I think it's a possibility, but I'm not convinced.

Like, and you know what?

I think what Kylie comes with is going to be something no one.

has thought of because that's so Kylie.

And you know what else is so Kylie?

Like, she's just so effortlessly, naturally cool.

Like, of course, her child would be born 2222, which is like a date I'm sure a million people tried to get married on.

It's like a cool day.

Yeah, yeah.

And it's the day after Stormy's birthday, which is just crazy.

But it's such a crazy coincidence.

Also, Courtney had Mason and Rain on the same day, five years apart.

Oh, that's cute.

Isn't that interesting?

Yeah.

When do you think we're going to find out the name?

The odds are one in 365.

Ooh.

366.

When do you think we're going to find out the name.

I don't know.

I'm ready for it, though, Kylie.

Please, like, we need this.

It's killing me.

Yeah.

Like,

we need something to live for.

Like, please.

Yeah.

No, when I saw last night, even that she like announced that she gave birth, like, it was just so exciting.

And even though, like, we all knew she was giving birth any day now, still so shocking.

You know what's so interesting about Kylie, too, when you compare her two pregnancies, is like

the first time around, she was like really not newly famous, but it was like coming off the heels of of this crazy success.

She was like the, you know, the first self-made billionaire, youngest, whatever.

And she was like, you know, they had the vlog and it was this whole thing.

And now she's just so chill because like, I think she's in a really good place.

And it's just like, yeah, we had a baby.

No big ta-da.

Just, yeah, we had a baby.

Yeah, maybe there'll be a big ta-da though with the name.

Like, obviously, there has to be more content coming.

I just, um, and I'm sure she's extremely busy.

But if she could just get it on that name thing for us, that would be really, really right.

And she's just so chill.

Like, she had had the baby on the second and she told us on the sixth.

And I'm sure she had to be in the hospital for a few days.

Like she's just like being a cool girl.

Yeah.

She's not like other girls.

No, no, she is not.

So very exciting.

I'm really curious to know what the name is.

And I don't think anybody has guessed it.

I don't think it's Angel and I don't think it's Heaven and Halo or anything like that.

But

I understand why people do.

You know what else I saw?

So she posted like a bunch of the flowers that she got and I was screenshotted, zoomed in and read the card.

Me too.

And it was from Kim North Saint.

It was from the Kardashian West crew.

And I thought it was kind of like, isn't it like a really formal, weird thing to do?

Like for your sister?

Like, go to her house and say, congrats.

Yeah, I guess.

I thought.

Imagine if I sent you flowers.

Well, first of all, I thought the card was like so formal.

And then, second of all, I was like, Am I, can I expect flowers from my sisters?

That would be so nice to have all these flowers in my house.

If you want, like, I can arrange that, but I wasn't planning on it.

Like, I think that would be nice.

That's something like, that's something your accountant does.

Yeah, I know, but they send each other flowers for everything, and it's not just like flowers, it's a whole thing.

But you know what?

It also might love flowers, it would be nice, but flowers are a lot of maintenance, like when you're just you know, a regular person and you're keeping them in your house and they're not like forever roses for

them.

So, I don't know if like I'm already having to keep like all these things going on.

I don't know if I can deal with flowers.

No, I know it's like a full-time job being a florist, a botanist, if you will.

It's a full-time job having like plants and flowers in your house.

Yes.

100%.

And then they like get smelly if you forget to water them for one day, depending on how cheap they are.

Like, it's just like, it's, and then the petals fall over the floor and like Theo eats them and then I have to sweep them up.

Like, it sucks.

The smell is deadly, but it is the smell of death.

Like, the flowers have died.

I'll never, I'll never forget the first time I smelled like a truly dead flower because I didn't know.

I thought, like, okay, flowers wilt and maybe they lose their delicious smell, but they don't, you know,

turn to poison.

Decay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And so I was shook.

I'm like, what the fuck is that smell in my house?

And I'm sniffing all over and I'm like, the flowers?

It was just like the most mind-boggling thing to me.

That is funny.

I don't think that the Kardashian flowers go bad like that.

Speaking of decay, I did finish that documentary, Taken at Birth.

And I just want to say, I did recommend it, but at the end, I realized they like gaslit us the whole time.

They had all these theories and none none of them turned out to be true and I was just like why did we watch a six-hour documentary like we got we got like nothing

interesting I tried to start this tinder swindler because you made it sound really good and I just like couldn't get I couldn't get into it

okay it's up for everyone but I watched um there's American Greed episode about Elizabeth Holmes you should watch it because it's one hour and it'll explain to you the situation and uh the only thing that I took away from it from the half hour that I watched um which I thought you might find interesting is that her fans who like just think she's a girl boss who's being mistreated, they're called the homies.

Ooh, I'm such a homie.

I'm going to add that to my Instagram bio.

Hashtag homie.

Swifty, homie, and levotic.

Perfect.

I thought you might like that.

I thought it was cute.

Also, this doesn't really need to go in the TV recap, but I did watch the most bizarre documentary series.

It's like a national geographic series called

Locked Up Abroad.

And they have people come.

It's an hour-long episode, and they tell the story of the time that they were put in jail abroad.

And then they also have like actors like dramatize it while like the person who actually went through it narrates.

And it is the most craziest thing.

It was on Hulu.

And I just want to say, if anyone listening to this podcast has ever thought, like, you know what?

I'll do it one time.

I'll make $5,000.

Let me smuggle drugs from Peru.

Do not do it.

And the first rule of smuggling drugs is not on your body.

Not on your body.

Everyone knows that.

Okay.

Just do not do it.

Where do you do it then?

So a lot of people have the drugs like metastasized to like different, I don't know if that's the right word, but like different substances.

And then they line the bottom of their suitcase with it and it can go through security totally fine unless, you know, you get pulled aside.

Special, you know.

But some dumb people like duct tape it to their body and then they put on like huge sweatshirts.

And so they're walking through the.

the airport like with enormous sweatshirts and sweatpants on like two two girls two young girls wearing huge hoodies and huge sweatpants oh that's not obvious Don't, that's what people wear these days.

No, like, you should have seen the dramatization.

They looked so stupid.

Like, I would have arrested them in a second.

Interesting.

Okay.

It's a really good show.

Oh, you would recommend it?

Yes, especially the one

about the woman who has a daughter and she smuggles drugs in, I want to say Ecuador.

And she ends up in Ecuadorian prison for five years.

falls in love and gets married in prison, has a baby, and then like right when she finds out she's pregnant, her appeal goes through and she has to go back to the States and leave her husband slash baby daddy in the prison.

Sounds like a Hallmark movie.

So good.

Sounds like a lifetime movie.

100%.

100%.

Okay, are you ready for our next story?

Is it the next story that happens to be brought to you by Fuzzy?

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Trust and believe.

Our next story, a fellow pet lover, Queen Elizabeth is shocking the world as she backs Camilla as queen consort in a new statement.

So, first of all, it's the Queen Platinum Jubilee, 70-year anniversary of her on the throne.

So, there's just like a lot of celebration, a lot of queen news.

Is she the longest reigning monarch?

She is the longest reigning monarch, which is very exciting.

She put out a letter, the majority of which thanks her subjects and remarks on the progress made during her reign.

But near the end, she dropped what many consider to be a bomb.

She said,

I remain eternally grateful for and humbled by the loyalty and affection you continue to give me.

And when, in the fullness of my time, my son Charles becomes king, I know you will give him and his wife Camilla the same support that you have given me.

And it is

not.

And it is my sincere wish that when the time comes, Camilla will be known as queen consort as she continues her own loyal service.

So this was a big deal because even though it's like impossible, a lot of people are fully like convinced that she will have, you know, Charles abdicate because he sucks and is hated by everyone.

And William, who comes next, is like so beloved by the nation.

And it seems like a no-brainer, but I guess it's not how it works.

And she's now fully confirmed that like Charles is gonna be king.

Well, most people were, I mean, for me, that was the surprising part that like she is telling us like she's not skipping Charles.

Like I literally, I really believed in my soul that she would find a way to skip him, that she knows that like he's not it and that the future, like if you want to,

the monarchy is, it's already like, it's always in peril.

And if like, we need a fresh start and we need to modernize.

And like, nobody's here for Charles.

We can all agree on that.

So I just thought that perhaps there was a chance.

So that's what's most shocking to me.

And she's like, no, Charles is next in line.

Like, don't get it twisted.

And most people are extremely shocked that Camilla will be known as queen.

But I mean, if he is going to be king, then yeah, she would be his queen.

That doesn't shock me as much.

Well, like, that's the whole part I actually don't understand, like, how Philip was a prince.

Okay, I finally understand it.

Okay.

Because a king outranks a queen every time.

So if Philip were to become king, then he would outrank his wife who is the monarch, and that's just not going to happen.

Got it.

Okay.

So he had to remain a prince so that she could be the number one girl in this group.

So basically, the person who married in is only going to get the king or queen title if it's a woman.

Yeah.

That rocks.

Yeah.

Finally, women succeeding in front of men.

Yes.

So that's why Camilla could be queen, and it's not like she's an actual queen like queenie because she's a king she's just like not a queen i can't explain it like she doesn't give off queeny vibes whatsoever and i just like i see kate as a queen like i do i think the nation loves her i don't see camilla as a queen now i think that if camilla and charles were to mysteriously disappear this might be queenie covering her tracks being like no he was supposed to be king Oh, interesting.

As if like this is her intention.

I'm still holding on to hope.

I'm holding on to hope, too.

And as far as Camilla, like people really are anti-Camilla, hate.

I personally, I don't hate.

I don't feel strongly one way or the other.

And what like just saddens me is like when you watch The Crown or you know the story of like Charles and Camilla and like they should have gotten married first.

And they didn't just because she wasn't a virgin.

So like they brought Diana into it.

They ruined so many people's lives and like marriages and happinesses because she wasn't a virgin.

And like, but but other than that, like she was a completely like suitable choice, or she was like a little bit older than him, too.

And she's a little, like, I guess, you know, wild.

Right, but like, in hindsight, if you just let these two get married, they're clearly OTP, they love each other so much, even in their fucking 70s.

Yeah.

It would have been a completely different story.

No, they would have loved, loved, loved Camilla.

Like, they would have gotten past, it would have taken a little time to get past, like, ooh, she's had sex with a man.

Like, they would have gotten over it.

And then they would have just like come to love.

And their love is real.

Like, it is.

It's not one of these arranged marriages.

So people would have loved it.

And it's, you're right.

It's like, what's that phrase?

You know,

pennies and nickels, you know, like save a penny.

Like when you do something in the short term and like you're not thinking long term.

Yeah, it's definitely pennies.

What's the phrase?

A penny short, dollar.

No, no.

It's like save a penny, spend a dollar.

Ride a cat on that.

Save a penny, ride a cowboy.

Right, Jackie, I keep thinking, save a horse, ride a cowboy also.

no what is the phrase a day late a dollar short

oh maybe i'm misthinking misrepresenting cutting off your nose to spite your face

kind of okay kind of like that whatever but i think just let me know in the comments what phrase what phrase you think applies i think pennies and nickels there is a phrase here there's always a phrase there's a phrase here do you not agree for sure no

quintessential this is quintessential phrasedom yeah no there's lessons to be learned here and i feel like even in watching Pole Dark, it's always this way.

It's like, just let the people marry who they wanted to marry because you're going to get into a big mess otherwise.

Drama.

Yeah.

So those are my thoughts on that.

But then also you could say, like, if it didn't go this way, then we wouldn't have William and Harry and et cetera, et cetera.

That's true.

Yeah.

So, whatever.

That's the latest with the royals.

Queen Camilla is apparently, allegedly on the horizon.

I'll believe it when I see it.

Which is less shocking than King Charles.

Cavalier Spaniel.

You know, maybe I could get behind it after all, a King Charles.

Only if they,

like, you know, how every the queen has like a breed of dog she's obsessed with.

If King Charles doesn't have King Charles's, um, then I'm officially done with this family.

No, as if I couldn't hate him more.

I agree.

If he doesn't have King Charles's, good day, sir.

Good day, sir.

Goodbye.

Okay, that's that seems like a fair litmix test.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our next story?

Two of your favorite people.

Actually, this story has every element of a story for you.

Really?

Yes.

Andy Cohen received the Hollywood Walk of Fame star.

He was honored by John Mayer, and the woman who came up into the stage, Fel, to present it to him, fell.

Okay, I thought there were so many interesting things about this ceremony.

One, I was surprised Andy didn't have a star already, but he totally deserves it.

Two, I thought that housewives who were chosen to be be there were interesting.

I only saw Garcell and Lisa Rinna, which I just found to be just interesting.

Maybe it's because they both live in LA and were available.

Yeah.

And I just loved that John Mayer was there.

And I have to say, in Real Housewives in Miami, I despise Nicole.

And when she said her...

Hall pass would be John Mayer, that was like the only time I related to her in like the smallest sense.

John Mayer's speech was hilarious, you know, riddled with housewives analogies.

He's obviously really into housewives.

I just want to say Nicole definitely said that john mayer thing because she knows like andy and john and like john might see that like she's a thirst monster 100 but so interesting i have a question do you really think john watches real housewives like that or he had a ghostwriter

i think he dabbles i do

he keeps up like we do no but i but he obviously he made that like lisa barlow heather gay joke which is like extremely recent um niche so then he must keep up but when he goes on watch what happens like does he play housewives trivia i never i never thought about it I just thought he was Andy's friend.

I didn't think he was a housewives, like, super fan.

I feel like he only became a housewives super fan after the baby shower.

Like, I think at first he was like, oh, this is what my friend Andy does.

And then he had so much fun with the ladies.

And then, like, John Mellencamp's daughter was there.

And I think he was like, this is just my theory.

Like, I'm just hypothesizing.

I think that that was a catalyst for him to be like, oh, maybe I should get into this.

Interesting.

I think that he had a ghostwriter who's obviously like not watching Salt Lake City with the same set of eyes that we are.

And how, like, of all the friendships on Real House Lives, period, like the fact that you think Heather Gay is like the friend of all friends,

I find to be extremely

suspicious.

So I actually, I didn't

enjoy, I didn't enjoy the content of his speech.

The woman presenting the star to Andy, when she got up on stage, she missed a step and she completely ate shit.

And she handled it with grace, kindness, and elegance.

She acknowledged the fall.

I think she said, like, who cares?

My dress is from Old Navy.

I think she said something like that.

Like, she made a funny joke.

She handled it with elegance.

And you know what?

I respect her for it.

And not only do I respect her, I sympathize with her so wholeheartedly.

I think she wrote into Unburden Yourself today to share her story.

So,

well, then we're going to help her through that.

Yeah.

No, she did

sail past it quite elegantly.

But of course, it made everyone.

As elegant as one could.

It made everyone think of you.

Yeah, which I'm not, like, super pleased about.

I can't lie.

You from Burden yourself a little bit.

That's what people associate with me.

Yeah.

No, I've been a little too honest with you guys.

I agree.

You got to play it closer to the chest.

To the vest or to the chest?

To the west.

Vest.

Vest.

Okay.

Don't you think like the timing in which they decide to give people stars on the Walk of Fame makes no sense?

Yeah, when I saw the first picture of him getting his star, I just assumed it was like a throwback picture.

like what was the second what like what i don't understand it's such a weird thing and everyone like so weird gets it like not at the i mean i guess you have to be like extremely established for a long time to be like that iconic to be on the walk not like as you're ascending or even when you're at the like you need time spent at the top so by the time you do get it it's yours duh How did you not have one before?

Yeah, that's true.

But every time I see someone getting their star, I'm like, they just got it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Shook.

Are you ready for a fifth and final story?

It's another Claudia's choice for sure.

Oh, yeah, I'm ready.

NYU launches a new course about Taylor Swift for the 2022 spring semester.

New York University's Clive Davis Institute has officially launched a brand new course on Taylor Swift for its spring semester variety reports.

Quote, this course proposes to deconstruct both the appeal and aversions to Taylor Swift through close readings of her music and public discourse as it relates to her own growth as an artist and a celebrity.

The course description reads.

What are your so I just want to say,

okay, like obviously NYU does something like cool 10 years after I graduated and I had to sit through the Loserville population us at NYU.

People at NYU are like so averse to like mainstream things.

Like if you're not wearing a beanie and like drinking an iced chai with, you know, non-GMO milk, like they're not interested in you.

So I have a feeling I could see nobody signing up for this class, first of all.

Second of all, it's in the Clyde Davis Music School, which is like a really, really small program.

It's where Maggie Rogers was discovered.

It's extremely prestigious.

So it's not really like anyone can sign up for this class.

If you've been through like the class signups, you know how crazy it is.

So this is going to, no one, no one who like is a Taylor Swift like mega fan who just goes to like regular like the liberal arts program is going to be able, oh, sorry, is going to be able to get into this program.

And I just want to say, reading the course description, it really should be in like the psychology major because it's not like they're talking about her music or like her lyrics.

They're like, well, the aversion and the obsession.

It's really like a psychology course.

I guess so.

Sociology.

Okay, you explaining that it's part of Clive Davis and like that it's this small school of full of like music experts.

And I'm sure there are other classes similar to this about other artists, but because like it's Taylor Swift and it's new, like it's making news.

It made news.

But before you just shared that, like I just thought this was extremely moronic.

It's like, just go on Tumblr.

Like, what?

It's

like, it's so silly.

Like, $55,000 a year to learn about Taylor Swift from a professor who doesn't know her, like, doesn't know more about her than anyone else can seek out.

This is the ruse and the manipulation that is college education.

The most useless waste of money, 100%.

Like, imagine sending your kid, working so hard your whole life, sending your kid to get a great education at NYU, and they come home and they're doing Taylor Swift homework.

No discredit to Taylor Swift, but it's just so, like,

it's so college.

Like, it's so dumb.

It's so dumb.

Like, and this is not me saying anything bad about Taylor Swift.

I agree.

Not even close, but like, where are the useful skills?

Like, you can spend, like, you could spend your whole day on like Tumblr, Instagram, like, going through Taylor Swift's, like, concert DVDs, and, and, that's, and get the course working.

And you could write a thesis.

But, like, what are we teaching the children?

Teach them something.

it makes sense because it's in the the music program so it's so yes i agree with you but um i just think overall like what does this

say about college i just think college is so dumb like i can't get dumber by the day i'm super grateful for like the opportunity to have had a higher education and everyone who went to college is very very like lucky and blessed but i just think in the real world like there's nothing really that you learn at college that you can't learn like just being a human being out working,

meaning like there's really no tangible, in my opinion, unless you're going to like law school, med school.

Don't come for me because I respect higher education.

I do.

I just think that like

I really can't pinpoint something I learned in college that helped me in the real world.

I'm being dead serious.

Yeah, I have a few different thoughts on this, and I agree with you.

If you're in a specialized field, yes, it is extremely critical.

Make a nutritionist, yes,

doctor, scientist, bioengineer.

Like, we're not talking about

you.

No, but you're talking about like the broader liberal arts education where you can take a class, like Taylor Swift's rise and what it means for society.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Nonsense.

I think a lot of what is learned in college is nonsense, but I do think the

practice of like going to college, like you, you are a teenager when you arrive.

And it's like, it's kind of like this buffer where by the time you emerge, like you're able to be on your own.

like at college you you're on your own but you're not really there are all of these like things in place like you know you're living by yourself but it's like a dorm and there you're going to get your own food but it's a meal plan and it's like halfway to adulthood and i think it's a great transition

for people to transition and i think also for a lot of people like working especially in a lot of like books that i've read like Especially non-fiction books, like working to get to college can completely free you from whatever circumstances you were born into.

And the world then becomes your oyster.

Like think of the show made.

Right, like the opportunities you get.

Well, that's just like a fucked up part of society.

Right, that's a fucked up part of society, a hundred percent.

But like, you can have gone to college and not gone to college, and one doesn't make you smarter than the other.

Like, this I'm talking about like the emphasis we put on having a college degree in order to get good jobs.

Like, and I'm not saying doctors, of course, doctors need to go to school.

Like, please stay.

But just like the emphasis we put on college, and also the way it's like not equally available to everyone, it's just we're setting everyone up up for failure.

Right.

I completely agree.

And then you also went get into the conversation of like, you know, elite institutions and like the college admission scandal.

Correct.

How there's thousands of colleges in the country, yet everybody's fighting and clamoring to get into these few where, by the way, you can learn about Taylor Swift there.

It's just, it's silliness.

And I agree with like the structure itself and the fact that, you know, there's only so much you can do if you don't go to college.

That system is like setting people up for failure, people who don't have access to higher education.

Yes, but also the system, like it, it has afforded a lot of people like opportunities.

Tickets out.

Yeah, but it's like, why can't you get that ticket otherwise?

Yeah, no, I just think the emphasis society puts on college is so stupid.

Like, because you can really do anything and it doesn't matter if you have a college degree or not.

Depends on what you're doing.

Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Was that a hot take?

I'm sure.

Yeah, but we've said that before.

Yeah.

And I'm not saying I disrespect higher education, academia, the scholars.

I don't.

I respect you.

What you do is empowering and important.

I just think like the system in which we like

discredit people who don't have college degrees when in the end, like I'm not that much more different because I went to college.

Right.

When a lot of college degrees, some college degrees are worthless.

Agreed.

Mine.

Well, those are the fast five.

You absolutely needed to know them.

We have so much more to discuss.

But those were the fast five stories.

And next, what are we doing next, Claude?

What's the program have in store for us?

Well, so you, I think we should do unburden yourselves because in case anyone didn't watch Euphoria, we will put all the TV recap at the end of the show and we'll just quickly unburden ourselves.

Great.

Okay.

That sounds like a plan.

Okay.

This first one is so funny.

Okay.

Ready?

Hello, Jackie and Claudia.

I'm so happy to hear about this new segment you're doing because while the subject of this burden is small, the embarrassment around it is certainly anything but.

I'm in a group chat with two of my coworkers who are a few years older than than me.

They're both married, 30-something men.

While we become great friends through work who hang out fairly often, there still is this unspoken boundary between the three of us, considering my relationship with them is rooted in work.

The two of them were discussing something in the group chat that I didn't understand.

I sent them a screen recording of me googling the topic to show how clueless I was to it.

While I was trying to make a joke around their topic of discussion, I ended up being an even bigger one.

At the top of the video, when I was searching in Google, all my previous Google searches populated briefly while I was typing out what I had intended.

Since I was recording the video and the dropdown was quick, I didn't even realize you could see it.

After sending the video, one of the guys responded, are we going to discuss why is my poo small rocks?

Which unfortunately, which was one of my Google searches, along with a lengthy list of other mortifying other searches.

She sent me a screenshot.

I had been caught red-handed that I couldn't even deny it or come up with a decent lie.

They send me ads for MetaMusil now, and on my desk, they left a packet of pop rocks, but taped a small over the top of the title.

So she sent me a screenshot.

Here are her other Google search.

Ferragamo Loafers.

Okay.

Tao, Chicago.

Free people,

Waco, miniseries.

Obviously, she was watching the toast.

Reindeer boob.

Why is my poo small rocks?

Mini credit card.

Okay, everything is fine.

What's a reindeer boob?

But

why is my poop?

So, this isn't an advice segment, but if you were asking for our advice, you obviously need to leave your job, leave the state, maybe the country.

That is so embarrassing, except it could be worse because it could have been like, why am I having raging diarrhea?

Like, at least like Small Rocks poop is like girly poop.

It's like, you're so like, you're so dainty and cute.

Like, you can't even make a poop because you're such a cute little girl.

So it's like, if they, I guess they knew already that you poop, technically.

So it's like, and you have a small rocks poop.

If they had to imagine you poop, at least they're not imagining you like sweating totally naked on the toilet, like crying, terrible pain, like screaming for help.

Sean.

Yeah.

Like, and now when they envision you, they're like, oh, she's so cute.

She can't even make like a full poop.

What the fuck?

Screaming for

help.

Yeah, like I always say, don't ever be nervous in front of anyone because like everyone has had moments where they are completely naked, sweating like an animal, crying, screaming for help on the toilet.

Like that happens to everyone, even Sean Mendez.

So you know what?

At least the picture they have of you pooping is not the Sean Mendez picture.

It's just like cute little, like, I don't even poop.

Small rap.

I think this is great.

I'm happy for you.

Congratulations.

And you know what?

There could have been so much worse.

It could always be worse.

I've ever Googled.

You need to remember it can always be worse.

And here's the silver lining.

At least it was small rocks poop.

No, like big turd.

How to sweaty Sean Mendez girly

how to unmog toy.

Oh, that's funny.

Oh my god.

Yeah, like there's just so much other shit.

Are you okay?

Are you okay?

Like, I'm going to pee in my pants.

You're literally going to go into labor.

Yeah, someone once said, I'm going to go into labor from laughing on the toast.

And this is the kind of laugh that could do it.

But you know what?

We're giving sage advice.

Like, it's going to be okay.

It's going to be okay.

I feel, I feel like, but if you had a laugh about this, then you can move on.

need to move on.

You know what?

At least

I need to move on or my water's going on.

I'll move on.

Well, as expected, like most of our submissions are about pooping.

I don't know why, but that seems to be the thing that most people have associated with shame.

Hello, Jackson and Claude.

How you dern?

And us.

First, I just wanted to say that I love you both so much.

You ladies are truly the best part of my day.

When I heard about this new segment, I knew I had to write in.

Now for the unburdening.

I have a duty secret that gives me the biggest pip.

It was last Friday when I was making my way back to school after a wonderful, toasty winter break.

Hold on, I need to, um, this font.

It's like, I need my glasses.

I'm getting so old.

Okay.

It was last Friday when I was making my way back to school after a wonderful, toasty winter break when my stomach started to rumble.

I was already about halfway back to school, so I figured I would just make it through the last 45 minutes of the drive without having to stop.

And in my favor, my stomach did settle down.

Fast forward, and I'm about 10 minutes away from school, and my stomach starts to rumble again, but this time it's urgent.

I'm on the main road into the school, but there are only farms, thanks, again, central Pennsylvania, and there's no bathrooms in sight.

At this point,

I'm about to duty in my pants, so I do what I had to do, and I pulled over, grabbed some antibacterial wipes, ran around to the side of the car, and waited for some cars to pass, squatted, and took a duty

right there on the side of the road.

Even just writing this to you is giving me the biggest pit, but I did what had to be done, and this will be the one secret that I take to my grave.

Sincerely, a shameful duty toaster.

I mean, lesson learned.

Next time, stop while there's places to be stopped.

At least, like, you did it.

It's done.

It's farmland.

So they'll just think it was an animal.

Yeah.

And they're used to seeing like, you know, poops abound.

And nobody saw you, it sounds like.

So

just make sure the right lessons are learned here.

And then it's not a mistake if you've, if you learn something.

And you know what?

You have actually inspired me to unburden something that I did this weekend.

Oh my God.

What did you do?

It's really bad.

I wasn't even going to bring it up because I think it's technically like a crime.

Okay, you want to, are you sure you want to bring it up?

Yeah, we can always cut it out.

Okay.

What the fuck did you do?

So

we went to Wawa on our way home and I had to pee so bad.

And they wouldn't let me use the bathroom.

I was like screaming.

I'm like, please.

So.

I get back to the Uber.

I'm on the, I'm on the seat behind the driver, and we pulled up on the right.

So my door is in the road, not on the curb.

And it was like four in the morning and it was like a main road, but it was mostly empty.

So I just pulled my pants down.

I leaned my back against the passenger door and I squatted like I was on a toilet and I just peed in the middle of the street.

Oh, okay.

So yeah, technically like peeing in public is a crime.

No, but I actually think it's, well, it depends where you are.

On the city, yeah.

Like in the city, you can do it these days.

And yeah, no, I see people doing it all the time in the city.

And if I had to be subjected to like one more scary man whipping out his penis and peeing in a water bottle by a payphone, I think that I'm entitled to relieve myself at 4 in the morning on an empty street when I'm in a lot of pain.

It was a medical emergency at this point.

Got it.

Okay.

Sounds like you took care of business.

All right, this next one is harmless, I think, honestly.

And it's the final one.

Sorry.

First off, obsessed with the toast, you guys make my day every day.

Now, let the unburdening begin.

Last night, I was out at a bar in New York City, and I made the cardinal sin of leaving my jacket on the coat rack, because this place had no coat check.

When I was leaving, my friends and I were were grabbing our coats to go out into the tundra when I noticed that my expensive coat was, of course, the only one missing from the rack.

In true tipsy girl fashion, I decided to remove all the coats from the rack and place them on the floor if they didn't resemble my missing jacket.

I was calling it process of elimination, but the bouncer called it grounds for termination.

I haven't been kicked out of a bar since I was 21, and I just felt the need to get this off my chest.

P.S.

It turns out a girl stole my coat and was hiding it under her table while watching the whole debacle.

It's a harsh world.

Well, I hope that means that you got it back.

And up until like knowing where it went, I would assume that someone had left with it.

Like that's fucking infuriating, especially when you're drunk and you're at the end of the night and it's like

your emotions are flared up due to alcohol and you're cold and you want to leave.

It's really annoying to have your coat stolen, but I really hope that you got it back and that in some way this girl got hers.

No, but there's like a lot of shame with being kicked out of a bar.

I was kicked out of a bar like about a year ago and it was like one of the worst nights of my life.

Like it's so shameful.

You just feel like like a vagrant like and no, like what you're just being like a menace.

You're usually, you obviously can get kicked out of a bar for like starting fights, but like I feel like most of the time it's like you're just being like an asshole because you're drunk and you're like yelling at people.

And it's like embarrassing.

I got

kicked out of a bar about a year ago for puffing a jewel.

Like they had a no jewel policy.

And like I didn't even get a second chance.

That's not embarrassing then.

It was no, it was harmless.

And that's why I was like, so I, the problem was is that I got kicked out and I snuck back in.

And then the guy found me while I was waiting in line for the bathroom.

And he was like, didn't I I kick you out?

And I was like, So wasted, I was like, Do I know you?

I was like, What are you talking about?

No, I just got here.

That doesn't sound like a bar worth going to.

You can't have a fucking jewel.

It's a really fun bar, I'm not gonna lie, but I don't want to name it because I don't want to associate myself as the girl who got kicked out of it, you know.

Got it, got it.

And I love that bar.

And I just want to say, if anyone who owns the bar who knows what I'm talking about, like, I would love to come back, please.

Yeah, and rethink your jewel policy.

Yeah, I mean, like, the worst things go down in a bar.

100%.

Um, so that was Unburden Yourselves, Yourselves.

And you know what?

It was a great kickoff to our new segment.

If you want to shoot us an email, it's Unburden Yourselves.

It's plural because we couldn't get access to the other one.

It's unburdenyourselves

at gmail.com.

And I enjoyed that very much.

Me too.

Me too.

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Alrighty, should we start with Miami?

Yes.

So I really enjoyed it.

I agreed with all your sentiments from the beginning of the show.

I think it's beautifully done.

I think they cast it really well.

Personally, like I definitely gravitate towards Marisol and Alexia.

And I know that that might be a toxic choice because like in the in Montauk, Marisol like was being toxic, but she had this information and she just went about sharing it in like such a bad way, almost like a mean girl by like, who do you trust the least?

Like that's stupid.

If you had this information, just share it with everyone.

Like don't be embarrassed.

Share it.

Yeah, I agree.

I'm not like completely here for Marisol and Alexia.

Like I I do think that they're kind of mean girls, but I think that they're like great housewives.

They're just like not my

cup of tea necessarily.

I still am a Lar SaSan.

I like, really just like her energy.

She just seems like a funny person to be around.

She's calm too.

Yeah, like very calm and just like smart and sure of herself.

And watching this like really made me sad that her and Kim are no longer friends.

And it's so funny because like so many of her mannerisms are just the things that she says remind me of Kim.

And I could see how they got along at one point because they're both like have just that same energy of just calmness and a little bit of shading.

And I admit, like, I wish, I hope that one day they can be friends again, but I don't know what happened and I doubt we ever will.

And I don't think that there's any coming back from it for her.

And I think she knows that.

And so she took her talents to Miami.

To Miami.

I'm also was really surprised to learn that her and Scottie Pippen are still technically married.

I did not know that.

I thought they'd been divorced for like 100 years.

Yeah.

And me too.

I just assumed that they had like divorced even before she was on Real Housewives season one.

And I think that they're like, their life is so interesting.

And I mean, their kids are so cute, but the fact that they still even have like the childhood home and that like Larsa is living there, it's just like so,

so crazy.

The whole situation.

Also, her OnlyFans, it's one great storyline for housewives.

And that the fact that like everyone's like fighting.

It's interesting to see like the way that people treat it.

You can like learn a lot from them.

I thought Alexia was being like so awful about it.

So judgmental.

First pool party, and a lot of the other women were more open-minded.

And it's not as if like Larsa like does it in secret or like didn't tell the other women and like someone found it.

Like she's very open about it and

just like who cares?

I mean, who cares?

But like.

Yeah, that was a bad moment for Alexia, like really bad.

Who fucking cares?

Yeah.

And then like Audriana like coming over and wanting to like sell feet pics for $200 and like literally pathetic.

It was giving Vanderpump rules feet for nose picks.

Well, I think we should talk about Adriana because you know in the OG seasons, she was a top tier, one of my favorites.

Heavy hitter.

And now knowing that she's not even a housewife, she's, I guess she's considered a friend of because she's not holding an apple at the beginning.

She doesn't have a tagline.

But she's making such an effort like to get attention and be like, crazy, get in the tub with my titties out.

And knowing that she didn't even become a housewife, it puts this like kind of sad spin on everything she does.

And like she obviously wanted to be back on the the show so bad.

She's trying to make a moment out of everything, and it didn't even work.

There's so much sadness surrounding everything that she's doing and like desperation.

And even like the situation with the rooms, which was like such a, it was probably like peak rooms on a trip housewives situation.

Yeah.

And it became this like big fight.

And it's like the person who like got naked in the master suite, took a bath and poured water on everyone, like still can't get arrested.

It was about Lisa.

It's not even close to about, yeah, like it's about Lisa just for having an attitude when it's like literally nobody cares what Adriana does or says.

And also, even her relationship with Julia and having like such disrespect, like for her marriage, it just is so thirsty and weird.

And I also like, even when she like came for Gertie at the party and also when they were party planning and Gertie and Julia were both opening up about their experiences, like her reaction, I thought to Gertie was like so

cold.

And it just everything she does with Julia is so weird.

Everything she does is just like the wrong take.

It's just wrong.

And I agree.

And it's made even more sad by the fact that at one point, like she was the alpha on the show.

Yeah, she's like overstayed her welcome.

I don't think she should have been a part of this reboot, but Julia, I think, is one of the most interesting women we've ever had on Housewives.

First of all, when she said her wife was Martina, I was shook.

Like, obviously, I've heard of who that was.

Like, that's an actual famous person.

Like, it was just, I wasn't expecting her to say that.

I'm like, oh oh my God.

And I also wasn't expecting her to say she had a wife.

Like, she's just so dynamic and so, you know, interesting.

She just is so different than any of the women I think we're used to seeing come on the show.

I think her, and she lives on a farm.

Like, I think her life with Martina is so cool and different.

And I think she's such a cool girl.

Like, I could see myself wanting to be friends with her.

She seems really fun.

And her being hungover and saying she's sick, she's not hungover is the most ben software thing on the planet.

Like waking up after drinking like an animal and being like, oh man, I have food poisoning.

No, you had too much alcohol.

Like, I hate when people do that.

Literally.

I'm glad the girls called her out on it.

Also, calling 911 for a hangover is insane.

Like the way that they were all being morons about her hangover was infuriating.

Infuriating.

But back to Julia really quickly.

When she shared that story about

her

son,

who was basically killed by their nurse, I was, I've never heard a story so crazy in my whole life.

That's like something you see on SVU, like shaken baby syndrome.

It was so sad and so shocking.

And I tried to do a little bit of research.

And there's like, you know, theories that she was like with a Russian oligarch and they had the thing arranged.

Like, it's just so crazy.

And it just made me love her even more.

Yeah.

No, she has such an interesting

personality story.

It's and all the women like really gravitate towards her, which is just so funny because like they're all the women are like so similar and like into the same things.

And it's like, at the end of the day, like everyone just wants to be like loved by julia but i think in general as it pertains to like the drama of the show like people aren't really here for her presence because she doesn't really add much but i think she when she's around i don't care she lifts the spirits of the other women and makes everything a good time but also like the way that she like enables adriana and their friendship and like the friend engagement was just it's a big fat no for me it's so weird i agree like She's an almost perfect housewife, except like her obsession with Adriana is so bizarre.

And like Adriana bringing two dates to the art show.

Like, I don't know what Adriana thinks she's doing, but it's not working.

Someone has to tell her.

It's not working.

And also, like, aside from the fact that Adriana's behavior is cringy and everything she tries to do, like, just comes off

so not as how she intended.

Like, she put on this art show for this huge tennis.

Like, this is a huge opportunity.

I don't know what kind of other art shows she does, but, like, this is major.

The art is really sweet.

Like, Martina's like giving her this house.

I loved the art.

And to even bring one date to that, like, where you have to, like, you're there to sell sell art and to like schmooze and not to bring two dates and like make it all about, you just, like, again, she just completely misses the mark every single time.

Yeah.

Um, also, I really want to talk about Alexia's family dynamic because I find it really interesting.

I watched the OG show.

I remember when Frankie got in the accident.

It was so sad.

And I'm so glad to see him doing so well.

He's such a sweet kid.

And every time he's on my screen, he's just like saying cute things.

And I know Alexia loves him so much.

But the thing with her other son, peter is actually really crazy and while i think maybe todd's was a little harsh i kind of agreed with his sentiment like and you were the one who just told me that like what did todd say he's like you're gonna end up in jail like you're a loser and you're gonna end up in jail and last month and you just told me he was arrested for domestic violence against his girlfriend He's a troubled kid.

He's a bad kid.

And Todd was like trying to warn.

And I think Alexia is a very sweet woman, but he wasn't wrong in saying that she enables his behavior.

I mean, even the mere fact that he gave his younger brother pot is so insane.

Yeah.

And he had that episode, and he doesn't even seem apologetic.

He's just mad that Todd yelled at him.

Like, he's like a spoiled kid, and he's like 25.

Yeah, no, I totally agree.

I think people were like, yeah, sure, Todd's message is on point, but the delivery was awful.

I don't even think the delivery was awful because I don't think they would have heard him if he didn't speak in such harsh, plain terms.

I think like all three of them really are used to being like so coddled, but also sometimes like it does take an outsider to look at your situation and be like you're not handling it like and i'm sure alexia has every well-meaning and i can't even imagine what she's been through and so it's no fault of her oh of hers but humans are only equipped to handle so much and like I think that he's actually the perfect partner for her because he's not afraid.

Like, I think a lot of people would be afraid.

Like, I don't want to step into this.

I don't want to, you know, get, I don't want people to resent me.

Yeah, I don't want like Alexia.

They're supposed to get married.

Like, this could ruin things for them, but like he's really more interested in actually seeing them do doing better

that he's like willing to sacrifice how they see him for a second to let them know what they need to know.

I thought it was one of the most compelling scenes in Housewives, like of a personal scene that I've ever seen.

And I was so glad that eventually they were able to hear what he was saying and not just be mad at the fact that and the way that he was saying it.

Yeah.

Yeah, I didn't like when he said, Frankie's not my son.

Like, yes, he's not your son, but like, you're marrying, like, that's just not the sentiment you want to move forward with.

Yeah, that made me cringe.

And it made me cringe that a lot of the conversation was being had in front of Frankie.

You were the one who told me, like, you read this conversation was actually two hours long, and Frankie wasn't there for most of it.

But I just think the fact that he was there for even some of it, like, was uncomfortable.

It seems like he was there towards the end when there was, like, reconciliation happening.

I don't think he heard the worst of it, even though they made it seem like he did.

Okay.

But I just love Alexia.

And I think, like, the way she talks about the Herman stuff, I I mean, and Marisol said it too, like, I don't know if I would be as graceful and, and lovely.

Um, like, the way she just, like, really loved Herman and like isn't even, she probably was at one point, but is now isn't even mad at the fact that he cheated and had this whole secret life.

She just like wants to know, like, he was happy in

in that part of his life.

And I just, I don't know, I just, I think she's like a really unique person.

I really like her.

I think she's, sometimes she comes off badly with the other women because she's just like, she has so much going on.

She can't deal with this moronic Nicole and Lisa behavior.

Like, I get it.

But then it's like Marisol's like, you know, Alexia has so much going on.

She can't deal with her.

And then she's like, her wedding got canceled.

I'm like, wait, that's not so much going on.

That's like, you know, surf.

Sure, it's stressful.

That's not the shit that's keeping Alexia up at night.

Right, right.

So I didn't.

Marisol did a bad job.

I completely agree.

I was like, stop saying that.

It makes it sound stupid.

Yeah.

Other housewives who are present, Nicole and Lisa, I loved Lisa then.

I still really like her now.

And I don't know why.

I thought her personality was like different than how it actually is.

And she's very like chill and relaxed and like sure of herself.

Yeah, but a little boring too, but I feel like she definitely turns up.

And I would have thought like she'd be more of like a people pleaser, even with the room stuff.

But the fact that like these are all like seriously glamorous established women and most of them are sharing rooms and it's fine.

And she's just like, no.

And I do understand like needing personal space, especially on a group trip.

Of course.

I say that every time we go on a group trip, I'm like, I don't care where we stay, I just want my own space, and then I wind up in a room with uh four people.

Um, and I'm surprised no other housewife in general like puts their foot down about that, but usually the women do get their own rooms.

And I also think like Lisa's just like not that friendly with anyone to be sharing a room with them, except for except her friendship with Larsa, I think, is really like fun.

And when she like is asking Larsa if she can stay with her and she's like shut down, it's like, well, fuck this.

Lisa's totally justified in wanting her own room i do think like i understand larsa's frustration because first of all to find a house in the hamptons that's nice and that fits and that has a pool and it's on the beach like it's the it is an impossible task and the fact that they found that house is a miracle so i understand larsa being like enough but lisa has every right to want her own room but like the way she just like demanded it like a spoiled brat like that's the problem no one's questioning like you the like the reasoning you're entitled to want your own space i totally get that so why don't you just bow out be like honestly like love you so much thank you for setting this up Like, I just would feel more comfortable at a hotel.

Like, I just don't think she, she just was, like, trying to start shit.

Like, she was being a bitch.

I think it was, she, it was like a long travel day and she was grumpy.

Yes.

I'm going to choose up to that.

Um, and Nicole, I really don't like her.

I liked her in the beginning.

Um,

I think she came out a little strong with all of her, like, personal scenes.

Like, I personally don't care.

I don't know you.

Um, and that's like just my rule.

Like, I need to have you for at least two seasons before I care about your family.

Like, that's just me.

Sorry.

And I do think some of the shit Marisol said,

I actually believe Marisol 100% because Nicole didn't even deny it.

She just like watered it down.

So I do believe that she said that shit.

And I feel like she was like, let's just normalize, like, judging each other.

And yeah, I guess, but

like, I, and I'm a judgmental person, but like, I think some of the shit she was saying was like really mean.

Yeah, I think that they're both

both right, sort of.

Like, first of all, I agree that she probably said those things, but it was also probably like before she even met Larsa.

Like, when, if we were, if you were in that situation, and it's like, okay, we're going to be on the show with this cast of girls, and here's this person and that person, like we would talk privately, like, about, I mean, it's different because we're sisters, but like, you would like, you just say your snap judgments based on like what you expect people to be like.

But I also believe her when she says, yeah, I had these preconceived notions, and I was wrong.

And I think that that's like kind of okay.

I, I thought she handled it in a, in a, in a new way for housewives as opposed to being like, I didn't say that or like doubling down.

She was like, no, I said that not as maliciously as you're saying that I said it, but also I was wrong and I really like you.

And I felt like that was kind of okay.

It was a different approach.

It was a different approach.

And I do feel like Marisol was really trying to start stuff.

And it's also like, what you think about someone before you meet them versus like three months later, like, at what point is it irrelevant?

Like, We're friends now.

I said this before I ever knew who you were.

Sure, that's a poor reflection on me that I would be so judgmental, but like that's just no longer the case, you know?

So it's like, yeah, say that on day one, like either say it at the pool party, like, oh, Nicole, you, uh, you now you met Larsa.

Do you still think she's a hooker and you don't want to be associated with her?

But don't wait until two people become like actually friends to like bring up some old shit.

Yeah, but don't you think, like, I understand having like

misconceptions about people, preconceived notions.

But don't you think like to go from you're a hooker, I don't want to be associated with you to the extensiveness of the platform is kind of a big jump.

Yes, but come on.

Yes, but it could be all it could be like that she met Larsa, really liked her, which I can understand

because, you know, I'm a big Larsis fan.

And also before I saw Larsa on Match of Davenports Live last week, and if you just like asked me my thoughts on Larsa Pippen,

just like if you asked Nicole her thoughts on Larsa Pippen before they started filming together, like I would have probably said like,

you know, thirsty, whatever.

But then like even just watching her on TV I was like oh no she's not those things so

that is what like Nicole was saying it is kind of just human nature and sure it's better to like not share unsavory opinions about people but I'm sure they all were just talking about like who are the new girls in the group what's everyone been up to and Marisol just like booked what Nicole said and threw her under the bus

I just really don't like Nicole.

Like I was like living for that, her getting called out.

I do like her gurdy.

I think she's like one of the best dressed housewives.

Oh my gosh.

All the women are amazingly dressed.

Gertie is a breath of fresh air.

I know a lot she gets on the other girls' nerves, and it made me really sad when Adriana said nobody here likes you, and only Martina stood up for her.

I was like,

oh, you know, that was sad.

Someone else should have been like, I like you, unless they really don't.

But like, she, Julia, you're literally, she threw this party for you, Julia.

Speak up.

She threw this party for you.

Alexia, she's your wedding planner and your friend.

Like, where was everyone else?

That just made me sad.

But I love her energy.

I didn't even realize that.

Yeah, I was just thankful that Martina said something because, like, what, what a shitty feeling.

Like, to be told, horrible.

And also, just another poor reflection on Audreya for even saying nobody here likes you.

Like, what are you?

12?

Literally.

I also think her marriage is really, a really sweet story, like that they met in the 11th grade.

And I love that he's a firefighter.

Obsessed.

They're so cute.

I'm so obsessed.

And I really like.

I like her so much.

I don't know how other people feel.

And I guess like some of the women don't like her and she's a lot, but I think she brings a lot to the party

that conversation personally resonated with me I think I'm more of a gurdie than an Adriana like I definitely am not everyone's cup of tea I'm like loud and annoying and so I hate when people are like can you calm down like that's just who I am fuck off like don't be my friend don't tell me to calm down like that's like saying don't be me yeah yeah

so all in all I think it's a great franchise I think it's really well done I think

a lot of people are like let's get it on bravo like as if that's some sort of upgrade but I like it the way it is.

Like, I don't know if they've been releasing episodes episodically or weekly.

And next week.

Because I like having a bunch to watch.

And you saw the preview for next week, for this week?

Adriana talking about Kanye.

Kanye.

Yes.

I mean, one, again, Adriana, the fucking woat.

And I look forward to seeing Larsa put her swiftly in her place.

Yeah.

Like, I cringe.

I can't stand.

Cannot stand, Adriana.

Cannot stand.

I'm glad we can agree on that.

Like, she is the villain.

A hundred percent.

Nobody even cares.

Let's talk about

like she's the villain.

You can't be the villain if nobody cares about you.

I literally can't stand her.

Also, I just want to say, like, Larsa Marie jewelry is so pretty.

I looked at the Instagram last night.

Larsa is expensive.

I know, but Larsa's always wearing, like, such nice jewelry.

And, like, I, like, it's, like, dainty, but also, like, it's, like, fine jewelry.

I just, like, really like the vibe.

Don't be surprised if I show up in some Larsen Marie jewelry.

No, I agree.

It's very on trend.

I stand harder than ever, just want to say.

Let's talk about the chaotic mess that was Salt Lake City last night where we wrapped up the trip in Zion and Lisa Barlow absolutely lost her mind.

I did enjoy like watching her be crazy just because she's so, in my opinion, up until this point has just been like so refined to the point where it's like almost calculated.

Yep.

Her saying she was richer than all the women, like question mark, question mark, question mark.

Even though that's not saying a lot, I think this group is running on fumes financially.

She was being so weird.

I don't understand, like, I can't even recap this show because I don't understand who's mad at who for what, for real.

I can't recap this show.

Whitney's performance that last night in the red dress, like running around the house, like saying, like, where's Mary Cosby to save Meredith?

And also, like, when Meredith literally,

when she went to the kitchen to like bring up with Meredith again, like to just keep banging her head against the wall, Meredith fucking puts her in her place swiftly to the point where like Whitney just has to like walk away with her tail between her legs.

And then she comes upstairs and recounts what happened as if like she, you know, was the

victor.

I'm like, girl.

And it wasn't until Mary said, you know, it's really frustrating arguing with someone who's so drunk, did I realize that she was that drunk?

Because a few nights before, a few episodes before, no, it was that night that they were in Aspen or Vale and everyone was coming for Mary.

They were dressed as like

October Fest.

And Mary left because she's like, I'm not arguing with drunk people.

They won't even remember what they said the next day.

And you could tell that everyone was really drunk and that Mary wasn't.

So I was like, okay, that's fine.

I didn't even realize that at this junction, Whitney was so drunk again.

That's why she was making zero fucking sense.

And it was infuriating to watch.

For me, one of the biggest moments of the episode was when Meredith flipped the tables on Whitney and was like, what if I told you I I didn't believe you that you haven't heard from your dad in months?

Which is something obviously Whitney shared.

And Heather and Whitney being in the back of the car recapping that being like, that's a low blow.

It's literally what you did.

It's actually.

It's not even as bad as what you did because Meredith's dad passed away.

Like what you, and I guess a lot of people are like, Meredith, why don't you just tell them when it was?

And I get that, but to justify these morons, these drunk morons with a response, it's disrespectful.

I understand.

I know it's frustrating.

People are like, well, if it really just happened, just like tell everyone what it was so we could like shut up about this.

No, the fact that people are even asking is so outrageous.

And that's why Meredith won't justify it with an answer.

Two things.

One, not only did Whitney, like, could they not even see themselves, Whitney misremembered what Meredith said.

Meredith said, What if I said your dad, you haven't not spoken to your dad in months?

And then in the car, Whitney said that, Whitney said to Heather that Meredith said, What if I said that your dad's not an addict?

So she didn't even know what they're fighting about because she doesn't remember.

Because she was so wasted.

And two,

as far as Meredith not just sharing the date, it's like

even having to explain when the date was and take you guys through my calendar and my

planner justifies

justifies this conversation.

So not only am I not going to do that, but you, at what point do you trust me as a friend to know that I would not make up in a memorial?

I, I mean, yes, it's, and if I were in her position, it's probably just easier to be like, here are the pictures on my phone.

You can see where it was, like, you're fucking morons.

But also, like, kind of just by leaving it open-ended, it's like, look at yourselves and what the fuck are you doing asking me about this?

Literally.

Like, you don't deserve the peace of mind of like, oh, I get to ask about every single personal thing in your life and you have to tell me when and where it was, as opposed to just being like, Meredith had a family thing and we're going to leave it at that.

And why would we even question whether or not it happened when she said it happened?

And so then I don't understand Meredith's motives in inviting Whitney and Heather over.

Like, I do think Meredith is trying to find a way in which this all gets pinned on Lisa, and Whitney and Heather are more than happy to throw Lisa under the bus.

But it wasn't just Lisa.

It was Whitney and Heather more so than it was Lisa.

Yeah, I agree.

Then she, like, comes and she apologizes.

immediately.

I think Meredith is, even though she's like above it and she disengages and she has no time for it,

I think she enjoys being a housewife.

And so like she comes home, she collects herself and she's like, okay, now I have to get back in the game.

Like I think she gets really frustrated with on these trips and at these dinners and stuff.

But then when she has a moment to reflect, she's like okay how do i get back into like mary cosby has no fucking interest in being a part of this and but meredith i think after she has like some time to come to herself she's like okay shit now i gotta get back to work who do i start with i just can't believe that we have spent hours and hours talking about meredith's dad's burial and we have not spent more than five minutes talking about the egregious allegations against jensha the insurmountable proof that the fbi has that she was taking advantage of the elderly the the disabled, the old, the vulnerable, taking advantage of all these vulnerable groups, stealing money from them.

There is a huge amount of evidence that the FBI has.

She's on trial.

She has to move out of her house to pay her legal bills.

And we, as a group, have not spoken about it for one fucking minute.

Jen Shaw, and that's why Jen Shah is staying out of it.

She doesn't want to put her ass.

She can't believe no one's asking her questions.

How's Shaw's internal bleeding?

Like, Sharif's internal bleeding.

Mind-blowingly stupid how these women have fucked up and really like lost the plot.

And

it's beyond me.

Beyond.

And what's so crazy is on Beverly Hills, like we gave the women so much shit for not holding Erica's feet to the fire when every single time they got together, it was brought up.

Even if they didn't, you know, say exactly what we wanted them to say or accuse Erica of this and that.

And mind you, the crimes were committed by Erica's husband.

And even still, the viewers were like, it's not enough.

Like, even Sutton, who was doing the most, like, still, we were like, she could have done more.

She didn't really say that much.

Meanwhile,

they couldn't get together at all without it coming back to Erica and what she's going through.

Meanwhile, why?

Many questions.

There hasn't been one conversation between all of them about it.

And the one time that there even was, which was at Jenny's.

party in the garden, it all turned into like fighting over who's no, and they're not the fact that they're not being good enough friends to Jen.

Like, that was Meredith's take.

It's like, you need friends right now, and your friends aren't being good enough friends, and then they all have to prove how they're such good friends to Jen.

It is so fucking twisted.

And, and the main difference between Erica and Jen is that these are Jem's crimes versus these are Tom's crimes, alleged.

Right.

It is insane to watch this season, like, period, even without the Jen stuff going on, just like watching them all point fingers at each other for like God knows what, honestly.

Idiotic.

Knowing that there's this huge thing that no one is going to talk about.

And maybe it wouldn't feel like this season is so bad or these women were being so dumb if it weren't for Jens.

Like if this was just a regular season without Jen's crimes, it would be like a pretty good season.

Everyone's being crazy and yelling at each other, pointing fingers.

But the fact that there's this enormous elephant in the room, and I don't think we've spoken about it since she got arrested at Beauty Lab, I mean, we had a historic moment.

NYPD, Homeland Security, showed up in Utah on camera.

It made such waves.

Remember when it happened?

We couldn't believe it.

And now we were waiting, waiting, waiting.

It might as well have not happened.

After the fifth episode where she got arrested, like, goodbye.

I never heard from it again.

When they said next week on the season finale, I can't even tell you the story.

I cheer leaf.

Oh my God.

I said, woohoo!

And after watching Real Houses of Miami all weekend, it's like, take, for example, the conversation that was had at the table in Montauk between Marisol, Nicole, and all the women, and how they're fighting over you said this and I said that.

And like, I'm able to follow that.

I thought maybe my brain was just scrambled that I can't follow housewives' arguments anymore.

So, to watch that and be like, oh, yes, no, I understand what's going on.

And then to watch Salt Lake City and be like, what the hell is going on?

Like, even when I, I'm, I'm not on my phone, like, I'm hunkered down.

I'm paying attention.

Like, I'm sober and I can't understand it,

make it make sense.

And, and usually, I would say it's not you, it's them.

Usually, I would say, like, okay, there's something we're not getting, you know, maybe at the reunion, we'll get more context.

It's not even that.

It said these women are like just so

flimsy and they're also just, they're just like not serious women.

Sorry.

No, it's they're they're horrible.

They're horrible.

So I'm very much looking.

And if Andy doesn't get some fucking answers out of Jen Shaw in the reunion, I might be done with this franchise for real.

It's not even good.

I can't believe what we thought we were going to get versus what we got.

And the fact that people think that this is a great season, like, I can't understand the low level you expect from housewives because I don't know.

I grew up in the Bethany Frankel Jill Zarin age.

I just expect more.

Sorry.

Agreed.

And I might have felt like a little bit, maybe it's me before watching Real Housewives of Miami.

Like if I hadn't had that experience this weekend, I would be like, you know what?

It's just not for me.

Like I've outgrown.

No, no, no.

It's not me.

It's that.

It's the producers.

It's the cast because it can be done still and it can be great.

And there's no reason

they've dropped the ball completely this season.

And it's not me.

No, it's not you.

The last thing I watched that I want to talk about is Euphoria.

Last night was a monumental episode.

There was a lot of chatter online, like reporters being like, this is the episode where Zendaya wins her Emmy.

It definitely was.

There was really nobody else in the episode.

Basically, they left us on a cliffhanger last week.

Like, she was like, she was doing a lot of drugs.

And then, like, she was like at a church.

So it seemed like she overdosed.

And it turns out she didn't overdose.

She's in her house.

And her mom finds out that she's back on drugs.

And her mom wants to take her.

She's going through withdrawal.

Her mom wants to take her to the emergency room.

They get in the car.

And obviously, her mom doesn't take her to the emergency room.

She takes her her back to rehab.

And when Rue, Zandaya, realizes this, she hops out of the car.

And this leads her on like a, like a 24-hour crazy ass journey where she's like looking for drugs, looking for things to sell because she owes the drug dealer money.

She's, you know, trying to go to her friend's house, trying to get help from anywhere, stealing from her friend's mom's house.

And she goes to the house where all of her friends are at and steals the mom's earrings.

But the mom called Rue's mom and they stage another intervention where Rue

blows up this this huge secret that she's known for a while.

She says, Cassie, how long have you been fucking Nate Jacobs?

Nate Jacobs is Maddie's boyfriend.

So it was like, I swear to God, when Rue said that, like, I screamed.

And I was just not expecting like the idiotic high school drama to show up in this real drama.

This real life shit.

And the acting was just so good.

Like, Maddie freaked out, Cassie starts crying, and all this commotion starts that all the women are like, shut up.

We're staging an intervention.

Like, it's not about you and your stupid boyfriend, but the kids are just acting like animals.

That Zendaya is able to escape.

Oh, my God.

So she's running around, getting chased by the cops, throwing up everywhere.

She's having crazy withdrawals.

She goes to her old drug dealer's house, who's like her friend.

She tries to steal drugs from, he has, um, his mom is like hospitalized in his house, and she is like, he has like a hospital in this bedroom.

She goes in and tries to steal like the mom's Vicodin and stuff.

He throws her out.

She goes everywhere she can until she just goes to the woman she owes money to's house and this woman's like very weird we don't know her motives but she's basically like you need to give me the ten thousand dollars or i'll sell you to people like you couldn't even imagine so rue gets there and she's like going through crazy withdrawals and she's like please give me pills give me pills and the woman's like i only have morphine and i the only way to do it is intravenously i think that means by the needle and ru's like oh i don't do needles

So she gets so desperate, she's like, all right, just give it to me.

So the woman gives her morphine.

Obviously, Rue like gets knocked the fuck out and wakes up and like

she's in this apartment and she's completely locked in.

The drug dealer and her husband are there.

There's like a man sleeping on the couch.

There's guns everywhere.

There's locks everywhere.

So it's clear that this woman who said, like, if you screw me over, like, I will sell you to the worst people on the planet.

It's clear that Rue owes her money.

She's not going to get it.

And she's going to sell Rue into some sort of like trafficking ring.

And everyone's asleep.

And it is, Jackie, the most pitworthy scene of her trying to break out of this house.

There's padlocks on all the doors.

She's trying to get the keys.

She sees the keys.

They're jiggling.

They're not working.

Jiggle, jiggle, jiggle.

The man's sleeping on the couch.

She goes to the bedroom.

The man in the other room wakes up.

He gets up.

Rue's opening the window.

She has to jump from two stories.

Her leg has been like broken this whole time because she keeps running.

Her ankle's definitely like sprained or something.

She jumps.

And then she's in the parking lot of this apartment complex and there's this big gate closing and she has to run, run, run.

She makes it out of the gate.

She, like,

that scene,

I swear to God, I've never had such a pit in my whole life because it's like, if you get out, where do you even go?

But if you stay, you're gone forever.

You're sold into some, something.

So she gets out, and we're like, go home, Rue.

Your mom is looking for you.

She's trying to help you.

Even though, like, when the, she, Rue said the most horrible things to her mom, like, you know, you're a terrible mother.

Like, you know, because she was going through withdrawals.

I don't think she really meant it.

So the final scene of the episode is Rue's mom at the kitchen table.

She hears the door open.

She says, Rue, is that you?

Black screen.

So we don't know if it was Rue.

We don't know if it was that scary man from the apartment coming for Rue's family because Rue owes him ten thousand dollars.

It was fucking crazy.

And it was like, not even like the good euphoria stuff that we love, like, you know, the cool outfits, the high school drama, which we live for.

Jacob Lordy wasn't even in the episode, and it was chilling.

Chilling.

I'm queasy.

Jackie, it was horrible to watch, literally, like such a pit.

But definitely Zendaya earned herself an Emmy nomination or two.

I do think also Sidney Sweeney will get nominated this year because she's just, she's just killing it.

It was painful, like literally painful to watch because she's like throwing up the whole time.

She looks horrible because she's going through withdrawals.

Her ankle's broken.

She's like running around town and she can't even run because her ankle's broken.

It was just, it was horrible.

And you just want to shake her.

Like, go home.

Your mom cares about you.

She wants to help you.

Oh, my God.

Horrible.

Like the scene where she's like literally in someone's house stealing money and then the people come home early from dinner and they find her under the bed.

It was just like, Rue couldn't win.

She could not win.

I can't.

That's crazy.

And so her mom basically found this suitcase of drugs under her bed and flushed them down the toilet.

But the reason why that's a problem is because it wasn't Rue's stash.

It was, she took it from the drug dealer and then was going to give the drug dealer $10,000.

So that's why she's freaking out.

And the mom thinks she's like feeding for drugs.

And like she is, but I don't know why she didn't just tell her mom, mom, literally, I have to pay this woman ten thousand dollars and you just flush all that down the toilet we need to go find ten thousand dollars like because her mom just thought she was being like crazy rue feening for drugs and she was but she was also really feeding for the money got it but it's still drug money

yeah it doesn't matter though because her life is at stake now with this crazy ass drug dealer woman oh

damn crazy show crazy show Well, thank you for recapping it because I've been seeing so much stuff like the craziest episode ever.

And I, you know, you wonder, like, what is the craziest episode ever?

And that really does sound like it.

It was the craziest episode ever.

Damn.

Well, this is the craziest episode ever because we can't shut the face.

In an hour and a half.

Damn.

Oh, my God.

90 minutes.

We got to go.

We got to go.

Your girls.

We've got to pee.

The Toast Instagram is still being worked on.

I believe it will come back.

Just

don't lose hope.

Like, okay, it's just taking a long time and we will tell you all about it when it's over.

Yeah.

Thank you guys so much for listening to The Morning Toast, the millennial morning show, where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

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