S5 Ep11: Cease and Desist, Sis: Wednesday, January 19th, 2022

Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the morning toast.

Happy Wednesday, happy hump day.

Time to hump someone you love.

We are back on the interface.

Hey, Claude, how are you doing?

Hello, I am back home in New York, rash in tow.

And you know what?

I wasn't worried about the rash until I discussed the rash on the podcast.

And now I have hordes of medical professionals letting me know I most likely have cellulitis, which I already already knew, you know.

You knew it was cellulitis?

No, I knew I had cellulite.

Uh-oh, LOL.

Oh, no, I mean, that's what you get when you talk about any medical ailments, you know, in a public forum, or just even show your face.

Like, people are going to let you know what they think is wrong with you.

But in this case, it seems like they hit the nail on the head.

100%.

Like, what everyone was describing, apparently, cellulitis is extremely common, and it can be very serious if you don't get it checked out, which is what I'm going to do after our show wraps up today.

But now that we're back in studio, you know, with our integrated interface, I thought I would maybe show everyone my rash if they're interested.

I think that people would want to see, and that could also help, you know, this virtual diagnosis

that's happening, yeah.

And it's worth mentioning, like, it has gotten worse.

Oh,

I thought it was going to get better.

Let's see.

It's just this patch of red.

And it varies in its color, like, throughout the day.

I really just need to go get it checked out because people are saying, like, people are scaring me, but they're right.

Like let me get it checked out so I can have some peace of mind.

But I just think like, of course, I would contract something called cellulitis.

Like that is just so me.

Yeah.

No, it's not, you know,

it's not thy gapoly.

It's not stunningitis.

It's not gorgeous, beautiful setting, and smartyitis.

No, it's cellulitis, and that's just me.

Yeah.

No, that's a tough one.

They should rebrand.

They should rebrand.

It's bad enough I have this like itchy arm.

Then I have to go around telling people I have cellulitis.

Like, that's just embarrassing.

Yeah, they need a new name for it.

100%.

Well, I'm glad that you're getting the attention that you require.

We're glad that you're home,

safe, you know, feeling good, back to business.

We are excited.

We actually have so much to talk about today.

Fast Five, of course, Vanderpump Rules, Dear Toasters.

It's going to be a doozy.

It's going to be a doozy.

I just watched Vanderpump Rules.

I have a lot of thoughts on the season finale.

It was very, um,

it was grinding my gears.

I have a lot of emotional responses, and they skew in the angry category from last night's episode.

Like, it really rounded out the season of these feelings that I have and like just brock.

And it really all came to a head.

And I feel semi-vindicated, but I also feel like so many people are just completely fucking wrong.

Tom and Ariana.

Oh, my God.

But they're like kind of always wrong.

Always.

Like, you can always count on them to have the worst takes ever and like side with the wrong people.

Yeah.

So that's not surprising.

But it was just nothing if not consistent.

It was, it was a crazy episode.

The reunion looks really crazy and I'm excited for all of that.

So we will recap that.

Other than that, did you consume any other content?

No.

Like I flew home from Austin yesterday.

I watched hours and hours of TikTok

and that's really all I have to bring to the table.

I apologize.

I didn't read.

I didn't watch TV.

Today I'm going to catch up on Euphoria and cheer.

So I'll have more to add tomorrow.

But yesterday was just like a crazy travel day and I'm so happy to be home.

Like there's just nothing better.

There's nothing quite like home.

No, there's nothing quite like home.

I actually started a new book last night, even though I've been sort of burnt out on reading.

I realize I'm burnt out on like these like fiction, you know,

boy meets girl sort of books.

Like I just needed a break.

But what I'm interested in is like, I was feeling like a non-fiction vibe.

Like I just want to like learn something about something I don't know a lot about.

And I was thinking back, I really like the book Good Morning Monster.

And when I posted that, a lot of people said I should read this book, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Laurie Gottlieb.

And they said it was really similar.

So I just started that book and it's good.

I just like wanted something not like plotty, just

knowledgeable and something like something that I don't know a lot about.

So between that and podcasts, like I'm really trying to find new hobbies.

But it's it's it's rough.

I was talking to Snitch last night.

She was suggesting some hobbies for me to take up.

Like knitting.

That's what she said.

I don't think that's for me.

And also, just like sitting there hunched over knitting, it doesn't sound like you can lean back when you knit.

I knit.

It's so relaxing.

It doesn't sound comfortable.

She actually had a great suggestion, which was to take up the keyboard.

Oh, yeah, you have one in your house.

I have one, but it's like not, it's not in my house.

It's like in our storage unit and it's not really accessible.

So I don't know if I can get it, but that actually I thought was a great idea.

Could you imagine?

No, that's a good suggestion.

It's worth trying to get the keyboard out of storage.

Me and Bruce playing chopsticks.

Ooh, you and Bruce like a cabaret duo he'll sing and you play that would actually be really fun so maybe I'll work on that but if anybody has any hobbies like at this point you guys know my interests

so please make any recommendations for hobbies content anything that you think I would like including podcasts that are video you can also um start scrapbooking I could,

but I won't.

You know what?

That's the last thing I need is more crap in my house.

Oh, by the way, like you're preaching to the choir.

Like, that's why I won't take up a hobby.

Like, I refuse to clutter up my house even more.

Yeah.

Like, all the ribbons and pens and paper.

Like, no.

Yeah, you would need like a craft room.

Too much crap.

Agreed.

So that's where I'm at.

Please send any recommendations for some mind.

And also, I do want to use the time wisely.

So nothing that's like too mundane.

I really even thought about like downloading TikTok because that's really what's missing is like

that sort of like mindless scrolling.

Cause I do that on Instagram now and like I'm out of posts to look at.

And then I'm like that loser who's seen everything on Instagram.

So I was like, this is why people download TikTok, but I refuse.

I'm not going to regress.

I need you to drop it.

I just want you to know like I would 100% support you in the re-downloading of TikTok.

I know that you would, but I've come this far and I'm not going to break.

Okay.

So I want to use the time wisely and be intellectually stimulated.

Let me know your thoughts.

Okay, that's a good idea.

I like that for you.

Thank you.

How are you feeling?

How are you doing?

How's LC?

Everything's pretty good.

It's crazy.

In the mornings, I really feel so good.

Like when we're toasting, everything, like, I have so much energy.

And then I would say, starting at like two o'clock, it's just a steady decline.

By the evening, I'm so uncomfortable.

I'm so tired, fatigued.

Like, even just sitting in bed is tiring.

And like, and I also don't fall asleep immediately.

So it's just like so exhausting just laying there.

There's so much going on in the belly, but the mornings are

business as usual.

Elsie really respects the toast and knows that we have to do what we have to do.

So I'm grateful for that.

You know, I feel like the first

like couple months of your pregnancy flew by.

Like you just somehow were like six months pregnant and it was like in a day.

And now it feels like it's really slowed down.

I mean, for me, none of it has flown by.

It's really?

Yeah, because it's every stage has been so different.

Like Like the first three months you would have think flew by because I was doing stuff, and it was like I was less focused on it, but I was just like so anxious and excited to like announce everything or like to see the belly change that I didn't feel like it was moving fast enough.

And now, obviously, now things have really slowed to a crawl, but just every time along the way, like I just felt like I was always waiting to like be more pregnant.

And when I hit this milestone, like it was just, um, I was always looking like to the next thing, so it felt like I was never there yet.

Yeah.

Well, I apologize, but it feels like it's been so quick.

I'm glad because I like I, as a consumer, I, when other people's pregnancies feel like they go on forever, but I think it's also just in relation to like how much you talk about it and

totally a big thing.

You like don't talk about it.

Yeah, no, I'm like, when people ask me, I just, I don't have much to say.

Right.

She's like, I know I've been home.

Hanging on.

Good.

Chilling, you know, Brew.

Brew is pregnant by proxy.

So you could ask him what it feels like.

Okay, we'll have to have brew on the next episode.

Bryce, mommy loves you so much, Mr.

Handsome.

Thrice, I love you so much, you're my king.

How's that reuniting?

Reuniting with Theo was

like a life-changing moment for me.

Like, it was, he was screaming, I was screaming.

It was six days without Theo, and that was really hard.

And so, coming home and running into his arms was just magical, truly magical.

That's so special.

It is.

I'm happy for you guys.

Other than all of that, chilling like a villain, ready to get into it.

So let me know.

Are you ready?

Do you think it's time?

Oh, yeah.

We have so much to do.

We just like, we're lollygagging.

Yeah.

Okay.

So without further lollygagging, without further ado, it is time for the fast five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

Ow.

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Great.

Okay.

Our first story is some sad news this morning.

Vogue legend Andre Leontale has died at the age of 73.

Fashion legend Andre Leontale, who served as Vogue's creative director and editor-at-large, died on Tuesday at the age of 73.

Tale, who became the first African-American creative director of the magazine in 1988, died at the White Plains Hospital from an unknown illness, according to TMZ, which first reported the news.

His death was confirmed by his friend Darren Walker, who's president of the Ford Foundation.

He said in a statement, Andre Leontali was a singular force in an industry that he had to fight to be recognized in.

He called him a creative genius and noted his ability to craft a persona for himself out of a deep academic understanding of fashion and design.

Whenever I think of Andre Leontale, I always think of you because you loved his book, right?

Loved his book, and I'm so glad that I read it.

And if you are looking for a great memoir nonfiction read, I would say this is the book for you.

And And what a,

you know, harmonious time to be reading it and learning more about his life and his story, which is so incredible.

I mean, I feel like before I read the book, I knew Andre Leontali from like America's next top model and just like from like fashion tank.

I think he was actually even at a cameo in Devil Wears Prada.

Yeah, exactly.

He was just like this fashion guy, but hearing, like, learning his story firsthand from him was, it was

so incredibly interesting and inspiring.

And this is a great loss for the world and the fashion community for sure.

So what did he do at Vogue?

He was a creative director.

Got it.

Got it.

And then I think over the years, like, I mean, in the last few years, his role sort of like petered out.

And there's been like a lot of

silent like conflict with Anna Wintour and unclear where they stand.

Yeah, because like they were so close.

Like they came up together at Vogue and in the fashion world and like they came up in the days of like Carl Augerfeld and like really like the

heyday of like fashion and New York City.

And they worked really for a long time together at Vogue, but I think towards the end, it didn't really end well.

But it's unclear how it ended.

But I think there was probably like a lot of mutual respect there, but I don't think they ended their friendship in the way that it started.

Got it.

Yeah.

Well, I've been reading, you know, people's tributes and seeing different photos, and it's just so sad because it seemed like he was someone who was enormously talented, but also like extremely funny, extremely personable, like a family guy.

So I actually think

his book is going to be on my must-read list for the year.

I think that you would love it and get so much out of it.

And I think for everyone else, especially if you love a Celeb memoir, which has been so long since I've read one.

I actually almost last night started reading Matthew McConaughey's memoir because I heard so many good things.

I mean, it's like still on the New York Times bestsellers list and it came out the same time that mine did, like literally over a year ago.

But I just don't think I have enough of an interest in him, a baseline interest, to pick it up.

I know, because he's just like a guy, yeah, he's just a guy.

So, I've heard great things about Colin Joasts.

Again, I don't think I have enough of a baseline interest.

I think I might only because of like Scarlett.

But if you have an interest in fashion and like fashion history,

uh, The Chiffon Trenches by Andre Leontale would that's a great name for a book, sickening, sickening, yeah.

So, this is definitely a loss, and it's quite sad, but his legacy is iconic, and he's left us with so much creative goodness.

Totally.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yes, yes, I am.

Not to fatigue you all, but the Spear sisters are at it again.

Brittany sent a legal letter for Jamie Lee.

I just want to say, cease and desist.

I just want to say, like, I am fatigued.

You're fatigued, but, like, the whole world is living for it.

Yeah, yeah.

I've just like had enough.

And now it's legal because Britney's team sent a cease and desist letter to Jamie Lynn to stop

her press tour talking about Brittany.

So Brittany is demanding her sister Jamie Lynn leave her out of her book tour for her new memoir, Things I Should Have Said.

Asking her high-powered attorney, Matthew Rosengart, to enter the fray, Brittany issued a forceful cease and desist letter, exclusively obtained by page six, to her younger sibling.

In it, Brittany lets Jamie Lynn know that she will no longer be bullied for the supposed benefit of book sales.

The letter says, Dear Ms.

Spears, Jamie Lynn, as you know, I represent your sister Brittany, and I write at her request concerning the above-referenced matter.

We write with some hesitation because the last thing Brittany wants is to bring more attention to your ill-timed book and its misleading or outrageous claims about her.

Ill-timed book.

Ill-timed book sums it up completely.

Whether it was ill-timed intentionally or accidentally is still to be seen.

But this also has me wondering.

So, the new, the second part of the Call Her Daddy with Jamie Lynn is supposed to come out today, I think.

Oh, so

is this season to assist like retro?

I think it will probably still come out.

You know, she already did the interview, and so it maybe it's like, stop talking about me from here on.

But if you talked about me a week ago, what can I do?

Yeah, like starting now.

So, all the old stuff, like, we'll still get to see.

I think we'll, it'll still go up.

Um, me too.

So that's interesting, but I mean, it's really, it's so true.

Like it's like enough already.

Enough, especially because she's not like saying kind things.

Like, I feel like she's always, you know, saying, I care about Britney and this and that, but she's also like dragging her and sharing like extremely personal stuff.

So apparently in the interview, she talks about how,

like, when Britney and Justin broke up, Justin wrote the song Crimey River, like about Britney and Brittany wrote the song every time about the breakup with Justin.

And apparently, like in all of these years, Britney has never admitted that that song was about him and she just gave it away.

So it's like shit like that.

And that's not even like so bad.

That's just like personal.

Right.

Just like stop sharing my shit.

Right.

And it's not your story to tell, once again.

So I understand why Britney is fed up, but these two have got to work it out.

Like they need to go on Maury.

Dr.

Phil.

Yeah.

I

feel confused about this because I feel like Jamie Lynn's whole spiel about her book and all this press is like, nothing was ever about me.

And even the press that she's getting for her book isn't about her.

Yeah, because she is not making it about her.

You know, like, because, you know, even when she talks about herself, if in the same breath she's talking about Britney, like, that's the headline.

Because that's what people care about.

But like, right.

She's like, is she making it about Britney or is the press making it about Britney?

I think that's a valid question.

No, I think it's still her.

Because if Britney's name never came out of her mouth, there would be nothing to say.

Yeah.

But she just like wants,

I don't know, people to like listen and then focus on the stuff that she went through.

But it's like at this time in 2022, when the Free Britney movement has reached a fever pitch,

they're just not going to care so much about

other stuff.

Also, like the stuff Jamie's trying to like tell us, like about her childhood, her book, her story, like she's like, not interesting enough, like at all.

Yeah, I mean, I guess I would have to read the book to make that

well.

Here's the question: Are you going to read the book?

No, no, no, no.

Even though I am in a non-fiction state of mind and I have been craving a celebrity memoir, I don't know if this is the one for me.

But I think because I'm watching the podcasts, I feel like I'm getting enough.

You know, I don't, I don't need to like oversaturate with this story considering

it's already so crazy.

I mean, and even Brittany like posted

another Instagram post yesterday, like talking about Jamie Lynn.

And it's like,

it's too much.

No, it's like for so long, these two like never even acknowledged each other.

Like now everything on their social medias is about each other.

It's just crazy.

Like, how do we get here?

I don't know.

And I don't know how all of you are just like keeping up and interested, honestly.

Yeah.

We are, it's the job, but i don't it's as a lay person

i'm getting spears fatigued i would not be yeah i'm getting spears fatigued they need to like sit down together in a quiet room and suss it out or don't like or don't but just like stop no but i'm always gonna be on the time like team sisterhood of course not screw sisterhood screw sisterhood i just think like it might be like too far gone for them

yeah for britney i feel like it is like if Jamie wanted to reconcile, Brittany wouldn't.

But if Brittany wanted to reconcile, like, these two would be good.

Because Britney's the one who has the forgiving to do.

Right.

Also, speaking of this,

you did wind up watching yesterday the Rachel Sagler

video.

And I would love to know your thoughts having watched it now.

It was really, really painful to watch.

So I stand by what I said yesterday in the sense that it's a funny concept, but if you're going to execute it, it has to be executed so great that like it makes the risk you're taking worth it.

And I just felt awkward and painful watching it, and it was not worth the backlash because it wasn't even funny or well done.

But I don't know if it was ever intended to be funny.

I like, I think it was just like you know, like a theater girl.

Theater kids are bizarre, like, let's just say that.

Yeah, it was like a theater kids' afternoon activity,

like a drama class rehearsal, like

strategy, like tactic.

Some people scrapbook, other people do dramatic readings of other people's Instagram captions.

Yeah, and it was just not when I heard the concept, I'm like, oh, that's funny.

And then I saw it and I was like, eek.

Yeah, it was a lot.

It was very eeky.

It was very eeky.

Okay, ready for our next story?

Yes.

It's some mindless celeb news that I thought was interesting because Heidi Klum revealed on Ellen that her legs are insured for $2.2 million.

Wow.

She said

when your legs are the focal point of everything, she didn't say this.

This is People Magazine.

You'd better have those babies insured.

She did for a while,

though one of her legs was worth less than the other leg.

It was $200,000 less because she has a scar on it.

So,

yeah.

So her legs are insured for $2.2 million, which led People Magazine to do a roundup of other celebrity body parts that are insured.

Okay, let me think.

Like, JLo definitely insured her ass.

Same with maybe Kim.

Well, I just want to, I have another question about Heidi Klum.

So, so, what does that mean?

Like, if she gets into a shark attack and they bite her leg off, she gets paid her $2.2 million.

I guess so.

That's like how insurance works.

And they put a value on your legs.

So, like, what would the value of my legs be?

11 cents?

Yeah.

Like, okay.

So, like, did she make up that figure or did the insurance company?

I think the insurance company does their evaluation.

But based on like how much work her legs get her, I guess.

yeah yeah yeah yeah okay so here are some more celebrity insured properties holly madison's breasts are insured for one million dollars

rihanna's legs are insured for one million dollars that's crazy dolly parton's breasts are insured for six hundred thousand dollars six hundred million it should be six hundred million i thought that's what you were gonna say Bruce Springsteen's vocal cords are insured for $6 million.

Wait, what?

You can insure your vocal cords?

I guess so.

If he lost his voice, he would get $6 $6 million.

But also, if you remember, like, when you have insurance, like, you have to pay the most money.

Everybody.

Like, like my favorite meme says, the thing about insurance is, best case scenario, you just wasted a ton of money.

Right, right.

Mariah carries vocal cords and legs together, $70 million.

How is that worth more than Bruce Springsteen?

I guess it's in the eye of the beholder.

Right, the insurance company.

David Beckham and Cristiano Ronaldo both have their legs insured.

David Beckham's for $195 million

and Cristiano Ronaldo's for $145 million.

Wow.

That's insane.

What body part would you insure?

I was actually thinking that,

well, I guess what

it would have to.

No, but since we're podcasters.

Oh, right.

Like, what is like, you know, your source of income?

I mean, voice.

Voice, but also like brain.

Breasts.

No, the interface cuts us off at the chest.

Totally.

No, but we use our brains in our mouths.

Yeah, I wonder if you can insure your brain.

I wonder.

I mean, these people are insuring a lot of stuff.

America Ferrara has her teeth insured for $10 million.

Are they that great?

I've never really looked at them.

Her smile is like iconic, sort of.

Yeah, well,

when I think of her smile, I think of the braces she had in Ugly Betty.

True.

She was protecting her teeth.

Right.

And then Jamie Lee Curtis's legs are insured for $1 million.

Get a girl.

Get a girl.

So that's just some interesting factoids for the day.

I love finding out how rich people spend their money.

You know, it's so interesting.

Yeah.

But it does make sense, I think, in certain fields, especially if you're an athlete, like and you were to lose your source of income, you know, you have insurance.

I agree.

It makes sense on like a basic level, but just hearing that somebody had their legs insured is bizarre.

Yeah, yeah, but that's like celebrity stuff that you don't really really hear about anymore.

But I feel like back in the day, used to happen more often.

It reminds me of that scene from Mean Girls: like, I hear her hair isn't short.

What did she say?

I don't know.

One of the things they heard about,

or maybe her legs, yeah, whatever.

Yeah, that's what I think of.

Okay, I'm glad to hear it.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yes, a little more celebrity physique news.

Amy Schumer is showing showing off her weight loss after liposuction, saying, I feel good.

Amy Schumer says she finally feels good after a lengthy battle with endometriosis and a bit of liposuction.

The stand-up comedian showed off the results of her procedure with a photo of herself wearing a bathing suit on the beach, saying, I finally feel good.

It's been a journey.

Thanks for helping me get through.

get my strength back.

She tagged two doctors, one for endo and one for lipo.

She joked that she never thought she'd go for plastic surgery, but decided to after her uterus didn't contract for two and a half years and she turned 40.

she also credited her acupuncturist and the talk spa for rounding out her health and wellness journey so she is being extremely candid about work that she's had done now that she's turned 40 and how she never really thought like she would be someone who's into that and now she's going for everything and she thinks you know everyone who wants to participate should

yeah um

She also shared that she had fillers, but she wasn't into them.

Quote, turns out I was already full.

Okay, I saw that that story like last week where she said, turns out I was already full.

And I thought that was the funniest thing ever.

Cause that's a similar way to people always ask, do you get filler?

I'm like,

no, I have a natural, it's called cellulitis.

Like I have a natural filler.

Like I don't need to be more full.

Yeah.

So I thought that was really funny.

And you know what?

I think Amy looks great.

And I'm such a proponent of people getting plastic surgery.

Like if something's bothering you, especially she had this health condition, like just do it.

Like I'm so not here for any stigmatization of plastic surgery.

Like do it if you want to do it.

Don't do it if you don't want to do it.

And don't judge anyone who does it differently than you.

Yeah.

And I think also I'm such a proponent of people doing whatever they want to do.

And it's also very refreshing when people share what they've had done because also it's like, it's, it's not like, you know, oh, I just, you know, this is all natural.

And then it leaves.

I'm 45 and I look the best I've ever looked.

And it leaves like other people being like, well,

is there something

to me?

Why didn't that happen to me?

And so I think it's nice when there's like transparency.

And also, you can like see the results and see if you know, this is something that might work for you.

I completely, completely agree.

So I love this for Amy.

I think she looks great.

And

here's to getting more plastic surgery in 2022.

Ooh, that's exciting.

Do you have anything planned?

I mean, liposuction is definitely on the list.

Perhaps like a facelift,

a breast reduction and lift.

I don't know, my knees are a little saggy.

All All in 2022.

A labia plasty.

Um,

I'm open to anything for real.

Okay, cool.

Even though I'm like petrified of going under anesthesia, I've never been under anesthesia.

Have you?

No.

It so freaks me out because I one time saw an episode of Nip Talk.

Okay, no,

yes, yes, and we know, and they were at Dennis's funeral.

Shut the fuck up, okay?

I one time saw an episode of NipTok.

No, you're not.

Everyone knows what you're talking about.

Nobody wants to hear.

No, no, no, they don't.

Nobody wants to be re-traumatized okay fine so that's why i'm afraid of um

going under anesthesia but for the right procedure liposuction i would do it yeah i think is that outpatient no i think you have to like be asleep oh okay but then you get a flat stomach so it's like

even if does go wrong with the anesthesia i have a flat stomach might be worth it something to think about something to think about are you ready for a fifth and final story only if it's the fifth and final story that's brought to you by Blue Land.

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Okay.

Our fifth and final story.

Some questions are being answered about Cheer, but also they are leaving us with more questions.

So the Cheer producers have some explaining to do because it turns out the thing that isn't explained in Cheer is that Navarro and Trinity Valley are competing against each other at Daytona and no one else this whole time.

Yes, okay, I knew that.

A quick search of the Daytona schedule reveals that they are the only teams participating in the advanced large co-ed junior college division.

In March 2020, Monica Coach Monica confirmed to Slate that they are each other's only rivals, but said that it's not that simple.

She said, we're two of the best teams out there.

It doesn't matter that we're in a junior college division.

Nobody wants to compete against us.

So we had a lot of questions about cheer yesterday, and we've gotten a lot of answers in the last 24 hours that we need to share.

First of all, the thing about them just like staying in college forever is true and they can really stay in college forever.

They leave the team.

So why didn't Morgan?

That's my question.

I think she just was ready to move on with her life.

Like now she's a celebrity.

Like she doesn't want to be dedicating dedicating like eight hours of her day to cheer practice.

Like, you know, at some point, like, you need to move on.

Yeah.

I think for other people, there's still more to be had there.

I think for like someone like Gabby Butler, like her career, her whole life, and she's been in the like a celebrity the whole time while being a cheerleader.

So like being a cheerleader for as long as possible is what's best for her career.

Agreed.

Whereas I feel like Morgan is more of like an influencer now.

Yes.

And less cheer focused.

And also like you can't do that.

I mean, I guess some people are doing it forever, but it's so hard on the body.

It's like so hard on the mind.

It's very intense and it leaves little room for anything else, like for you to even think about, let alone do.

So I understand having to eventually move on, but pretty much they can keep enrolling in like one credit every single year

and keep cheering at Navarro until they decide that they don't want to.

So no one's like getting kicked out of there.

And what I find interesting about this whole like Navarro and Trinity Valley being the only two schools in their categories,

I don't think it takes away from like how talented they are, but I do wonder how they match up to four-year colleges, you know, like scoring-wise.

Are both these teams better?

Yeah, it sounds like they are better, but like since it's a league of two teams, why not just throw them in with some other teams?

Because otherwise, it really does like kind of take the stakes.

It lowers the stakes when it's like, okay, either we're going to come in first or we're going to come in second.

Or you could argue

the stakes.

You could argue if you ain't first, you're last.

Right.

That would apply here.

Right.

So, but at the end of the day, like, you still get a trophy for second place.

So, yeah.

I think, and I mean, if there were other teams in the league, like they would still be one and two, but it is just like such a weird coincidence that there's only two junior colleges.

They're 30 minutes away from each other.

They're both competing at the highest level of cheerleading.

And they're down the road from one another.

Like, that's the weirdest part.

There's a whole country out there of cheer teams, and these two are just in the lead of the world.

Tons of junior colleges, tons of junior colleges everywhere.

Yeah, but why don't they compete against other junior colleges?

I think that those, they're literally the only two junior colleges in the country that have cheerleading teams.

Got it.

That qualify.

Yeah, it's extremely confusing.

Yeah,

very weird.

So we're getting some clarity, and I'm glad to have it.

I'm going to finish cheer today

and like I said, I'm still up to the Jerry of it all, which I feel very upset about.

Like,

and I've seen a lot of, there's like a lot of

conversations being had around, because, you know, Gabby Butler and Monica like are just having a hard time digesting it and Gabby's like standing by Jerry.

And it's just really hard to watch.

You know, there's, have you watched that part yet?

I haven't finished the episode, but Gabby's like, that's my friend.

Like, I'm not just leaving him.

She's like struggling with it, and clearly, so is Monica.

And yeah, a lot of people are upset with

a lot of people.

There's a lot of conversation about just like the way that they filmed it in general.

Like, first of all, having the two victims like speak out and tell their story, which I felt like was, if you're going to get Jerry a platform, which they did, of course, the biggest platform.

It was necessary.

Yeah.

No, I thought that that was a, especially since the boys were willing and wanting to talk about it.

Like, that move seemed totally fair to me and

really

had us get a better sense of the story because when I was going into watching cheer season two I had almost forgotten all the stuff with Jerry and then even when I remembered I was like well what exactly happened and they're letting you know exactly what happened so there's a lot of different perspectives you're hearing from like former um

like the woman who is a lawyer have you heard from her yet who was a USA gymnast she's a Larry Nasser victim and she's representing those twins.

Right.

So they got like a lot of people's perspectives on it and from like a legal sense and just in the cheer world.

And then, of course, like Monica and Gabby and people who like knew him, but clearly didn't know him.

And I think that they did a pretty good job with it.

But I know a lot of people have

weren't happy.

Well, I think there's like two sides of the coin.

Some people are like, they didn't go hard enough on Jerry.

He's literally a pedophile.

And then other people are like having a hard time digesting because he was literally for like a year and a half America's sweetheart yeah and how do you go from being that to literally being in a prison cell for

up to sexual facing up to facing 15 years minimum it's it's very shocking to go from that to that yeah it is and it's like that's shocking for us and we just like watched him one season on cheer we don't even know him we don't even know him and so like for the for the his cheerleading fellow cheerleaders

and i think the woman who was the lawyer said it like you think you know someone and you just like never do.

No, and Lederius was like very much done with Jerry.

Like he cut that off real quick.

But Gabby was like not

able to do that.

Yeah.

So I'll finish that and then we'll talk about that tomorrow.

But we still have TV recap.

What should we do next?

TV recap or Deer Toasters?

I think TV recap.

Me too.

Susan Vinale of Vanderpump Rules.

It was really good because it was literally like Brock and Sheena being moronic.

And there were a couple moments that I really loved.

First of all, when Lala was like, before there was Raquel and James and before there was Lala and Randall, there was Lala and James.

And I don't even really feel like she needed to justify why she told James, only because Sheena and Brock are two of the dumbest people ever.

Okay, they told everyone they were getting engaged.

All right, I wouldn't have done it, but fine.

Then they told everyone like, and we have this plan.

So it was out there.

You sat everyone down, 15 people and told them, It's out.

The fact that you're mad at James finding out when you literally told everyone.

No, I'll see, like the last few episodes, they were like, no one's ever going to know.

No one's ever going to know.

And like James and Raquel, they'll never know.

And it's like, they only know now because you told people.

The way that that unfolded, first of all, I'm so glad that Lala told James.

One, because like, yeah, now it's out there and James should know that this was happening behind his back.

Two, for the sake of the show, like we needed this blow up to occur as opposed to just like waiting for the reunion.

It's like eight months later and it's all diluted and nobody cares and James and Raquel are broken up.

Like this was this was like a fight that needed to happen.

And I mean, personally, and I know people probably are like just wanting to blame Lala for starting drama, but like these last few episodes have shown Brock in the absolute worst light.

Like, I am done with this man.

And just when you think it can't get any worse, he tells Sheena to put on her ring once they're getting kicked out of the party.

When they were standing outside the party, and like he was leaving, they were like,

kicked out of the party.

And they were, it was just like this crazy

delusional moment.

And it's like, no, the answer to this is to put on your ring.

Also, when Sheena was talking to Lisa and telling her that they got engaged and like showing her the ring in her purse, like, these people are insane.

No, and you know what?

Lisa has literally become my favorite person on the show.

I never thought I would say that.

One, because she's not pretending to be everyone's boss anymore.

Like, she's now like an advisor, a friend, a mentor.

And the way she comes for Sandoval for being completely delusional about his restaurant is a beautiful thing to see.

And the way she was just telling it straight to Sheena, like, what the fuck?

Was gorgeous.

Like, I've really come to love and respect Lisa.

Me too.

Also, when she took James and Raquel for that picnic and like they were all getting emotional about how far James has come.

And like, I don't know if I'm just like.

Anything would make me emotional, but I was like really feeling it.

I was like, this is really beautiful.

And I'm upset that James and Raquel aren't together anymore.

Also, that's what I was feeling.

I was like, hell, this is cute, but they're not even together.

Raquel looked so sickeningly stunning.

Stunning.

They should have just gotten married that day.

I know.

Like, what went wrong?

We'll find out next week, hopefully.

I mean, and now, of course, there are so many things.

And like, you see, her family really doesn't like him.

Especially the dad.

And I understand, like, he's a reality TV star.

And then his second job is a DJ.

And he has like a really bad attitude sometimes.

He doesn't always treat Raquel like the best, but she has blossomed so much, like, from the time they started dating until now.

And of course, like she's had, she's grown, and I'm sure, like, so many things have happened in her life, but one constant has been James.

And I think the person that she is, like the that we watched last night at the engagement party, like, is a testament to like how James has loved her over the years, though flawed.

I agree.

And it was like this culmination for her, like with her speech.

And like, she's just like really...

It was like annoying to watch because like she's made all this progress and like we've all made this progress.

We're ready for her and James and like they're they're not even getting married and I thought the way that they did the speech like I'm sure other people were like

I thought it was great.

It was such a great solution.

She like of not everyone hate I hate at weddings when people stand up there with their phones and like are looking and reading at their phones.

It's terrible.

It's so tacky.

Even if she did that like she's such a nervous speaker and not everyone who's a nervous public speaker needs to become a professional public speaker.

But sometimes you have things in your life where you need to speak and you need to like find a crutch and a way to get through it.

I thought that the way that they did it was so cute and hysterical.

And the fact that like James was telling her what to say and it was all very James

friendly was so funny.

And I thought it was cute.

It was like a cute dynamic in their relationship.

I have no issue with it.

Hysterical.

I loved it.

I thought it was great.

Yeah.

So honestly, for me, it was such an uncomfortable episode, like from start to finish.

But one of the most uncomfortable moments was Lala versus Ariana, when Ariana was just like, I was born cool, bitch.

Like, and Lala's like, I honestly, I can't when you do this.

It's so cringy.

Like, and Ariana just kept going.

Like, it was so painful.

So painful.

Obviously, like, I'm team Lala all the way.

Like, it was so cringy.

I don't know why Ariana goes into that mode of like having to imitate Lala.

It's, it really was painful and cringy to watch.

It's horrible.

It's like no way to win an argument.

No, and I think that she thinks that she won.

I'm sure Twitter thinks that she won because she was like, I was born cool.

It's It's just not a cool thing to say.

No, the whole thing was really awful.

I honestly wish they edited it out.

I know.

It was like,

it was not good.

Yeah.

It was

wild.

But all in all, I thought it was a great season finale in the sense that it felt conclusive, but there's still

so much tension that the reunion should be good.

I thought it was a really good way to end the season.

Yeah, the reunion looks really good.

I mean,

there's so much.

I think there's a lot of tension within the group that'll be good good for the reunion.

And then also, like, the Lala and Randall stuff, but it's just going to be,

I don't know, I'm not looking forward to the shot in Freud.

I know, like, everyone just, like, being so happy that, like, Lala was starting all this drama.

And, like, now she's the one.

I'm not into it.

Yeah, we'll see how it plays out.

Hopefully, they'll have some compassion.

It also seems like Lala isn't, you know, holding back.

And is like the fact that her whole thing now is like, I just wish people told me because apparently, like, everyone knew shady stuff about Randall and no one told her.

I think it is really congruous with the way that she acts on the show.

So

I think she has literally nothing to be ashamed of, honestly.

I agree.

But it just.

Everything she said she would do about her situation, she did.

There's,

I have respect for that.

Yeah, she walks the walk.

She talks the talk.

And you know what?

Like, everyone could learn a thing or two from her.

Yeah, so I am looking forward to the reunion.

And this season turned out to be something, I guess, thanks to Brock and Sheena.

I'm very grateful to Brock and Sheena for their delusion.

Delusional land.

I can't even explain to you how I felt watching last night's episode.

Like, what do you think was the worst part?

I just had such a visceral, like, physical reaction to

everything that was happening.

And I'm one, I'm so glad that Sheena even said, like, we're not getting married.

Like, when she spoke to him on the boat, and she was like, no, this is a no.

It was.

I wonder how she even came to that conclusion, though.

Probably the worst was when they were sharing that they were engaged to everyone and like no one

cared.

No one cared, and she was like, I don't want to make it about us, but like you're making it about you.

And like, really, when you saw that engagement party and like, it probably cost them so much.

It was

talking about how much it was.

So it must have been a lot.

It was so well thought out.

And that, and then, like, so seeing all of that in the context of like what they were trying to do, it just made them look even shittier.

I completely agree because it was a stunning weekend, like a really thought, well thought out party.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Um, for me, I think the worst part was like when she opened her purse and was showing Lisa the ring.

Yeah.

Oh my God.

It was, it was so cringy.

I, I, but that's my love.

I'm sorry.

That's why like I literally die for Sheena.

Like she has literally no self-awareness.

She's the perfect reality star.

And also the thing about Sheena, like delusional, no self-awareness, this, that, and the other, but like, has a good heart.

Very sweet girl.

And so I have no, really, like, aside from, you know, just reality TV show stuff, I have no issue like with Sheen or whatever.

But I, I think with Brock, it's coming from a different place.

Brock is very problematic.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And the fact that like he's just trying to do everything on everyone else's dime like it's crazy.

And

I thought the conversation was

that like James, and I thought James handled himself

completely respectably and said everything that I was thinking.

Agreed.

Yeah.

So we'll recap the reunion next week.

I'm very much looking forward to it since so much has happened.

And we're going to dive into Deer Toasters.

And you know what, Jackie?

I actually texted you the Deer Toasters.

I have like a frog in my throat.

And I just think it's probably better if you do the Deer Toasters.

My voice is like disgusting today.

Okay, here we go.

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Okay, dear toasters, first up.

Hi, Claudia and Jackie.

Love your show.

You are the creme de la creme of podcast girlies.

Oh my God, thank you so much.

And by the way, you guys, that means cream.

I know some of you listen from New Jersey.

We at one point were the number one podcast in New Jersey.

Also,

they haven't really set data since 2017.

And I think it's okay because there have been so many new podcasts that have come out since then.

I don't think we're.

So the 2017 analytics are still valid because they've never.

Right.

We don't have to correct ourselves.

And I think if they came out today, I honestly don't know if we would be number one in any state just because there's so much competition.

So I agree.

I'm okay if they never run that poll again.

Also, if I'm reading Deer Toasters, I will be ad-living a lot.

So that's exciting.

For some background, my boyfriend and I are both 27 and we've been together for a little over two years.

The reason I am writing is because unless I send my boyfriend a direct link for a holiday, birthday, or anniversary gift, there is a 100% chance he will purchase a gift from Amazon.

Don't get me wrong, I love a good Amazon deal.

I find a lot of really cute things on Amazon, and it's super convenient.

I cannot stress enough that this is not about how much money he spends, or that I am ungrateful for things he has gotten me in the past.

He has gifted me some fun, useful things that I do genuinely use and like a lot.

But there's something about the consistent Amazon purchases that's starting to not feel special.

Does that make sense?

I feel we are at the stage in our relationship where we can turn it up a notch from the practical and useful gifts.

I agree.

How does this toaster subtly introduce her boyfriend to the world outside of just Jeff Bezos and free prime delivery?

I don't want to be super blunt and hurt his feelings as he is a wonderful partner.

I just need some tips on how to move this man away from useful gifts to occasionally mix in a special thoughtful gift without always needing to send him a link.

I don't really mind sending a link, but I also do like to be surprised.

This is a, I want my cake and I want to have my cake and eat it too situation.

So if you think I'm being unreasonable, please tell me, LOL.

Any and all advice is welcome.

Thank you.

I just want to say the fact that you can send a link and he will oblige is huge.

Like, it's not like he's being cheap.

Like, he's just particular.

So, the fact that you have that, you should be enormously grateful for because some girls don't even have that.

Okay.

Yeah.

I completely understand your predicament.

I don't think you're being unreasonable.

I don't think it's a huge deal.

And I think that the fact that he is open to getting you whatever you want when you tell him exactly what you want, he's clearly flexible as well.

But I understand wanting to be surprised.

And I understand that, like, getting stuff from Amazon, getting useful gifts, it's just not romantic.

And like, when you're with someone for two years, like, you want a token of their love and affection.

So I mean, on a logistical level, I would send links to websites, not to specific products.

So if there's like a brand that you like, like a jewelry brand, I would assume you want more like jewelry because that's more sentimental.

Romantic.

So I would just send the website for the brand and be like, they have really beautiful stuff.

Like you choose what you makes you think of me, but I would be happy with something from here.

Right, because basically it's like training wheels.

Yeah.

You know, first you send the links, then you take the training wheels off, you just send the website.

And then at one point, he'll just be riding his bike, knowing exactly what to get you from all the websites you've ever sent him.

Yeah, no, gifts in relationships are hard.

And there's something that like, if it's not

in some people have it, some people don't, but I also think some people mostly were like trained by previous girlfriends in order to know like what girls actually want as gifts.

We talked about this a little bit on the Patreon episode.

That's what I was thinking with all the scenes on deck with Olivia.

She was sharing how when her and Shapiro first got together like he used to get her gifts like for hanukkah he got her like you know a full length mirror

because his apartment didn't have one right which is like cute that he's like thinking of her i thought it was very sweet it's just it's sweet that like he wants her to have the things that she needs more time at his house but at the end of the day like you just bought yourself a mirror right and and i just i want to walk around with like a heart necklace on that that makes me like think of my boyfriend every time i see it but also it's worth mentioning because when on the patreon we did those love language quizzes like how much value certain people or emphasis they put into gift giving and gift receiving.

And for some people, like it means a lot to them.

And for some people, it doesn't mean as much.

So that's important to understand, too.

Like, maybe he's not doing it because he doesn't like you.

Like, maybe it's just not something he understands or values.

Yeah.

And as someone whose primary language, I believe, was gift receiving.

Yeah.

That was really important to me.

And it's been a journey over the years with Zach.

You know, not every

in the beginning, you know, there were a lot of misses.

And now we're in a rhythm and he knows me well enough and I've sent enough stuff that he knows that I would like that there's less room for error.

But it took time.

It takes training.

It does.

You're not alone.

No, and Jackie's advice of, you know, the training wheels, think of it like riding a bike.

I actually think that's really good advice.

Yeah, or you could also like go to the store with him and like show him some things that you like.

And then you could say, like, pick what you think suits me best.

Right.

Or just like lay in bed be like oh I've really been wanting one of those Birkin bags you know yeah just like drop really obvious hints yeah and also if you if you drop these like massive things then obviously you're not gonna get that but then you'll get something that's shoot for the moon even if you miss you'll land among the stars sort of thing yeah so maybe you won't get a birkin but you'll get a Kelly

you know exactly good luck best of luck gift giving and boyfriends is tough it is but it can be done train think the training wheels yeah be patient Next up, dear Claudia and Jackie, I'm in need of your beautiful, stunning, and smart advice.

My sister's boyfriend is about to propose to her, but he's honestly horrible.

He makes comments about her weight and what she eats.

Says, oh, you're kidding me.

Says his, you know, what has a rash because she doesn't drink enough water.

And so much.

Is this literally someone writing in about me?

He says his penis has a rash because she doesn't drink enough water.

That's the most manipulative thing I've ever fucking heard in my life.

That's like emotional abuse.

I'm in shock.

Okay, recently.

I can't get past the he comments on her weight.

Recently, he said he wanted to start a habit of putting his phone into the closet every night to reduce screen time, but it was actually because he supposedly got hacked and was receiving nude photos of women all night.

Oh, I hate when I get hacked and I just get bombarded with nude photos.

Yeah, that's like, oh no, someone hacked my bank account and accidentally put a million dollars in it.

He had been hiding that for two months.

My sister is 23 and she doesn't see any of these things as red flags and has been pushing him to propose.

Apparently, he has the ring.

Is there anything I can do?

My family feels the same way.

Thanks so much.

A concerned sister.

You need to pull out all of the stops.

First of all, please go talk to a doctor and find out if his penis can get a rash because you don't drink enough water.

No,

I'm literally not a doctor, and I'm telling you, it's not possible.

No, no, I know.

Or if he's, you know, maybe sneaking around on her and out there contracting rashes.

Right, like gonorrhea rashes.

That's so crazy that he would put that on her.

Gaslighter, literally gaslighter.

No, your whole family needs to sit down with her, like pull out all the stops.

This cannot go forward.

Like, it's time for an intervention, but I just want to say,

I don't think you'll have much success.

Like, and here's why.

Because if she is so blissfully happy and

knows that he's got

makes comments about her weight, knows that he locks his phone because he gets nude photos.

Like, like she knows all of that and none of that bothers her and she's still moving full steam ahead I just don't have a lot of faith that you are gonna have success with your intervention I'm sorry I think there's a chance because I think when you learn about things like one thing at a time you you make peace with like each thing and you're just like okay maybe this on its own isn't a reason I'm gonna just accept it move forward but to be sit down by the people that you love and respect all at once and also from their point of view and knowing that these people only want the best for you.

If she still continues to go forward with him, then I'm sorry, she's going to have to learn the hard way and that's on her.

But as a sister, this isn't a friend.

Like this is your familial duty to protect your sister, make sure she has all of the information at once in context and let her make still her decision, but she needs to see it

once more

from a zoomed out lens.

A bird's eye view.

I totally agree.

I'm just worried.

Yeah, I'm not saying it's going to work, but that's.

But she doesn't seem like the type of girl who cares.

I don't know.

She doesn't seem like she doesn't.

She does on this email.

She doesn't seem like she doesn't care, but you need to do your part as a sister.

Otherwise, that is something that you're going to live with always wondering, like, if I'd said something before they got engaged, like once they get engaged, once they get married, like it's the train has left the station.

At this point, talk to your other family members, people that she loves and respects, and try and get through to her.

And that's all that you can do.

It's all you can do.

And because she's your sister, like she will always be your sister.

You don't have to worry about, of course, maybe it'll put like a weird strain on the relationship for a little bit, but it's worth it to do the right thing.

Agreed.

Third, dear Claudia and Jackie, thank y'all and Dr.

Frachemon for getting me through my days.

You're welcome.

Just a quick debriefing on my fucked up dating history.

I've been cheated on seven times and every story is worse than the last.

Gird your loins for this debrief.

I will limit myself to one.

My boyfriend of two years, let's call him Austin, and I were on the the way to meet his family and grandparents for the first time.

He was a PJOM and I assumed his family would be the same.

This would be so fun and easy.

In the car, he gets a call from his boss that he took on speaker.

His boss informs him that they need to talk because of inappropriate relations with the secretary.

I have never seen a more guilty man in my life.

After he confesses that he is indeed hooked up with his secretary multiple times, I then had to go meet his entire family.

He was begging me to go for the whole ride, so I agreed and made them fall in love with me and had him drop me off at home and never spoke to him again.

Good.

Picture this.

Five Five years later, I run into the most adorable guy at a bar and we instantly hit it off.

Keep in mind, we have moved away from our hometown, so it is completely out of context.

We keep talking and now we've been dating for three months.

Unfortunately, after the first few dates, we both realize this is Austin's new stepbrother.

Let's call him Ames.

And now I feel so awkward.

He wants me to come to dinner with his family in a couple weeks.

What the fuck do I do?

Last time I saw Austin, he was dropping me off post-family dinner, and now I'm supposed to go back to said family dinner.

Please help.

Ames is an actual PG, and I really like him, but is this too close to home?

Sincerely, what the fuck is my life?

Is this a simulation?

Wait, no, this is crazy.

Because honestly, when you said like that you still had to go to family dinner, you could have burned the place to the ground and like

right and been so angry and like told him what they told them what he did and just like shat up the joint.

But instead, you made them fall in love with you.

Now you're going to come back with Ames.

It's the best way to get back at Austin.

This is good stuff.

Wait, Austin Ames?

Isn't that a person?

Not one that I yes.

Oh, my God.

From

a Cinderella story, Chad Michael Murray is Austin Ames.

Oh, my God.

I wonder if that's why.

That's probably why she chose it.

She's probably been watching that movie.

Austin Ames.

A Cinderella story.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's so funny.

I think this is all good.

And this is the best revenge ever.

We already met the family.

So get that out of the way.

You're good.

You're golden.

You're golden.

And you did nothing wrong.

And the only thing is, like, you don't want to make it seem like you sought out the stepbrother to get back because you were bitter, you know, like you, you, and you did it.

So you have, like, you have nothing to worry about.

But a narcissist, like, who cheats on you could see it that way.

Yeah, but so say he wants to see it that way and like stew in his own narcissism.

Like you and Ames are so happy.

The truth.

I want to know how she figured it out.

I mean, it's, how could she not?

Like, she probably just saw like one Instagram post of him and his like family, or even, you know, when you're on Instagram, like you see who follows the person that you're following.

Like, now in this day and age, like, I'm surprised it took her this long.

That's crazy.

But because she, like, just met him rogue at a bar, it didn't, she didn't have a sign that said I'm Austin's stepbrother.

So I understand that I understand how it's possible that you didn't know at first, but of course.

Yeah.

The more you know.

I love this too.

Embrace it.

And plus, now you don't have to go win over like a whole new family.

Like, you know that they like you and you made a good first impression.

And and it's just like a funny story and also it leaves austin looking really terrible i love to see it completely agree because like he's gonna have to explain to his family like what happened yeah exactly so that's you'd love to see people being held accountable for their actions you really do i think this is all good i'm really happy for you i hope you and ames like live a very happy life together together forever children grandchildren etc

If you want to write into Dear Toasters, because you're having some issues with, you know, relationships, friendships, deartoasters at gmail.com is the email, and we will always keep it anonymous.

Um, and if you've written to us recently and we've given you some stellar advice, we would love to hear an update: like, what happened?

Did you take our advice?

Did you not take our advice?

Did you go to the funeral or did you go to the wedding?

You know, I'm still waiting to hear back from that one.

So, if you

wrote to us, like, let us know.

Don't leave us hanging.

Yeah, we would like to know, but we understand that you're off living life, you know.

Right.

If you love something, set it free.

And if it doesn't come back, write into dear toasters at gmail.com.

gmail.com.

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