S5 Ep5: Date Night, Interview Mag, and The Big Jeans Strike Again: Friday, January 7th, 2022

Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the Morning Toast.

Happy Friday.

It is a beautiful, stunning, and snowy Friday here in New York, and it's just a great way to kick off the weekend.

Hey, Claudia, how are you doing?

I'm doing great because it's Friday, Friday.

Gotta get down on Friday.

Everybody's looking forward to the weekend, weekend.

We're getting down on Friday.

The longest week ever.

The first week of the year has come to a close.

Hope everyone's feeling like it was a good start to the year.

You know, they say how you spend the, you know, whatever is how you live, whatever.

I don't think statistically that there's a longer week and a more treacherous week than the first week of a new year.

And we want to let you know that you are through it in case you didn't know.

Did it.

So that's a really big accomplishment.

I hope everyone has some really fun weekend plans in the works.

What are you doing this weekend?

Well, you know, I am going to Mexico next week.

So we'll give you guys a scheduling update, but there's no show next Friday and Monday.

So I am thinking of taking it low-key.

I do have an event to go to tonight

for Spritz, which I'm excited about.

But then I think other than that, I might go to actually, the rodeo is at Madison Square Garden this weekend.

So I might go to that.

1,000% go.

Yeah, but other than that, like no crazy plans.

I'm sure you're, what, like, tripping on acid, doing crazy things?

Yeah, Brew and I were going to experiment with mushrooms because we've heard some really,

we've heard some really good things.

And Bruno said to me, he's like, hey, mom, I want to get in touch with my inner self.

And I was like, I heard we can do mushrooms.

We could do ayahuasca.

And he was like, mom, let's start small.

So Brew and I will be tripping balls this weekend.

And we're

so fun.

Yeah, we're really, really excited.

But speaking of the rodeo, actually, first of all, you have to go.

Now that you've said that, and I know that that's happening in New York City, like if you don't go, I will be disappointed in you.

I know.

Second of all, I caught up on Yellowstone last night, the last three episodes.

The season finale was last week.

And so I'm just like in a rodeo state of mind.

So for that reason, you extra have to go.

Who are you going to go with?

Well, I really only go places with one person, and that's Brian.

Do you invite the Snatcheler?

She would love to go.

By the way, I have made no plans.

Like Brian brought it up and he was like, should we go?

And I was like, yes.

But he's in Pennsylvania.

There's snow.

So there's like a lot of things to consider before we make the decision.

The first thing is tonight.

I don't hear.

I don't hear anything that needs to be.

There's snow.

The snow, by the way.

The snow, by the way, could not be more gorgeous.

It is like, I know it's before the snow turns brown and Claudia like has a meltdown.

Well, you know what?

That's actually one of the good things about living in a bunker is like, while I didn't see the snow before Christmas, I also am not subjected to the brown duty slush that comes directly after like the gorgeous winter wonderland.

Right Right now, it snowed overnight in New York, and we are still in a winter wonderland.

Like, the trees have just like the icicles hanging off.

It's honestly stunning.

You should take a look around

before it turns brown.

And, anyways, it's not the sort of snow that's going to keep you from going a few blocks to Madison Square Garden.

That's not what I was saying, Rude.

I was saying, like, Brian's in Pennsylvania, so he might not want to trek back to the city like when there's tons of snow.

That's what I was saying.

Got it.

Yeah, I think it's like Rodeo or Pennsylvania.

But even if Brian doesn't want to go, you should go with the Snatcher.

Maybe you guys can find some cowboys.

Have you ever seen The Longest Ride?

I have.

I'm not currently in the market for a cowboy.

Maybe that changes by tomorrow, but for now, I'm all set.

Ben would understand.

I've got my Jewish cowboy.

Ben would understand.

100%.

No, I'm not stopping until you and Snatcher are at the rodeo at Madison Square Garden, like getting a hat thrown to you from the arena and wearing some assless chaps.

Yet, to be 100% honest with you and our audience, I'm not entirely sure what a rodeo is.

Like, that's bull riding?

I think it's a lot of different events, a lot of different cowboy events.

You know, there's,

what was I watching yesterday?

There's like the bull riding, then there was the guy who was like dancing on the horse a little bit.

I hope there's a performer.

At MSG, I wonder what comes in.

But the Houston rodeo is

like a fair.

Like people,

Lizzo, like people perform.

So I'm hoping I get some cardio.

Selena, yes, I'm hoping I get some of that.

You'll never know if you don't go.

So I'm thinking it through.

And if any New York steens are listening right now and didn't have plans this weekend and feel inspired to go to the rodeo, like please let us know how it is.

Yeah, I didn't know that there was a thing, like that was a thing, that the rodeo partook at Madison Square Garden.

I had no idea.

I'd never heard of it.

And it just goes to show like something new.

You learn something new every day about this, about this incredible city.

Oh, God.

I am thinking it through.

Yes.

So that's what I might do this weekend.

But I did want to share that I slept 12 hours last night, 9.30 to 9.30.

Wow.

And there is really

nothing like sleep.

I think sleep.

is magical and it's life-changing.

And I honestly think I don't do it enough.

Okay.

I mean, not really your hottest take.

Sleep is like everything of the sort.

It really like solves problems, health, like, I mean, a million different things.

And I don't know that I would say that you don't sleep enough.

No, I wouldn't say that either, but I would say that sometimes I prioritize other things over sleep, whether that's like watching TV, scrolling on TikTok, going out.

And I just think on my list of priorities, I got to get sleep up there, like a little higher.

Sleep is really high for me, and it's about to, it's about to be bumped down by the laws of nature, which is a bummer.

But I've had a really good run.

How old?

I'm 29.

I've had some really good sleeps in my years, and that's all you can ask for.

So I'm glad that you enjoyed your sleep.

I actually stayed up really late last night for me because I was, I had to finish Yellowstone.

I was like, I'm not going to leave 40 minutes of the season finale.

I got to know what happens.

And I'm glad that I did.

It's such a good show.

You know, true degenerates like myself who like watch so much TV and lay in bed all day, like you're a real degenerate if you like make sure throughout the day when you're watching TV that you will get done with this season or this episode or this movie at a certain time so as not to impact your sleep schedule.

Like when you're as lazy as that, like I'm constantly scheduling my days when it comes to television.

Got it.

I don't really understand.

Okay, so like I don't understand.

So if it's seven o'clock and I've been watching a TV show all day and I just finished season two, I like will not start season three because I know that puts me in a difficult position towards midnight.

I think that's not degeneracy.

I feel like that's proper planning.

Well, you know what?

I'm a proper planning queen.

And like, it's not, I mean, we watch a lot of TV and stuff, but it's not like we stay, like people really do stay up to like 3, 4 a.m.

watching.

Yeah.

I stayed up last night till about 12.45, but I don't usually fall asleep before 12.45.

So usually I'm just like laying around, but it was weird to be watching TV so late.

Do you feel like the way that I see it is like there's a hierarchy amongst people who watch TV and the people who watch TV on their computers, in my mind, are like the biggest TV degenerates.

Like they stay up till 6 a.m.

watching, you know, reruns of Pretty Little Liars.

I don't know.

It just depends on where you're at in your life.

Like, when I was in college, I used to watch all my TV on my computer.

Well, I didn't really have an alternative.

No, I really.

But it's like now I have a TV in my bedroom.

You can see it.

Why would I ever watch TV on my computer?

Yeah.

No, something about me is that like I've never been in a place in my life where I didn't have a television within four feet of me.

Even in college, like your freshman year dorm?

No, I, if you read my book, Jackie, I literally talk about this TV that I had that changed my life.

How did it change your life?

It was, I was the only person

really in my entire dorm, but let alone on my floor, who had a TV and it like made me special.

And I got it for literally $30.

It was like refurbished from Best Buy and it was really small, but it was like life-changing.

And that's when like me and all my friends were like super into housewives.

I mean, I still am, but like for us, it was like an event.

Everyone would come over and it really made me like the center of my social circle.

Got it.

So they were using you.

Yeah.

And that's when I started watching Friends.

And it was because like at NYU, they had cable.

And if you like got one of those cables into the wall, you had like six basic channels.

And it was always on those basic channels.

And I was like, you know what?

That's what I'm going to watch.

But I also had TLC.

And that's when I started watching Breaking Amish, which was a life-changing journey for me as well.

Nice.

Nice.

It's all available in my book, which actually, I'm so glad you brought that up, Jackie.

We're coming up on the one-year anniversary of my book release, which means that my book is coming out in paperback on January 25th.

You can pre-order it now on Amazon.

But I just want to let you guys know that like we're doing another re-release.

Like we are going to be thirsting out

at all times of day.

That's very exciting.

And speaking of reading, I forgot to share with you guys yesterday that the new episode of The Redheads dropped.

It is so good and funny.

Like I was thinking back on some of the things we were talking about.

Like I was literally laughing out loud.

So whether you read the book or you didn't read the book, I think you would enjoy the episode.

And it's never too late to become a redhead.

The first week of the new year is the perfect time and i think that this book and episode is a great entry point for someone who's not like a voracious reader also i'm so excited for our next book because first of all we're skipping over me it's supposed to be my choice but because we're missing a month for my maternity leave i didn't want any of the other girls to miss their month so i took one for the team plus my books last year were the worst books so that's my punishment but that's actually a really crazy statistic yeah no like the votes are in my books were they don't like your choice.

And no, they don't.

And I don't like my choice.

So I was actually really happy to have the pressure off.

But so Rebecca chose a book.

So her doorman, she said, read over 400 books in 2021.

Over 400 books.

Well, you know what?

Certain jobs make it

like really they encourage reading and a doorman, especially if you're like a late night doorman where there's not a lot of action perfect time to pick up a book.

Right.

So she said to him, what is one book that you would recommend that I should choose for the book club?

And so she got his choice.

So like out of 400 books, this is the best one.

I'm actually really excited to read it.

Wow.

I love that selection process.

Isn't that a fun fact?

Oh, also another fun fact.

I don't know if you were watching, but last night, Jeopardy, Amy won again.

But this time, like, she was challenged.

There was a guy who was so interesting.

He's a delivery truck driver.

And I'm telling you, if Amy wasn't on, he would have won.

Like, he, and he might have gone on, like, a short three or four episode run.

Like, he was really smart.

And if he was up against anyone else, I think he actually might have had like a really good chance.

Um,

even though, like, he did fuck it up at the end.

But still, it was, it was really interesting.

And so she's almost at a million.

She's at $980,000 and she killed it.

Wow, that is really exciting.

I'm sorry to this man, even though I know his name is Jeff because I watch your Instagram stories.

But it's actually pronounced Gioff.

Gioff, yes.

I did, i did see that i wonder now that i'm thinking like so caught up in names like baby names what compels someone to spell it geof as opposed to jeff so can i tell you how i like imagine someone thinks it through sure

okay so let's say they like the name jeff for whatever reason they think it's a good name it's a family name it's a nice name and jeffrey

is it on that ja geoffrey

Like is his full name Gioffrey?

Yes, I think it's Gioffrey.

100%.

Okay, Gioffrey Brathian.

But there is something somewhat common about the name.

It's very popular.

So maybe the parent is like, well, I want to honor this name for whatever reason.

Like it's a family name, but I want my son to still be like a unique girly girl.

So then they're like, well, let's spell it differently.

Geoff.

I don't know.

No, you know what?

I'm sure the real reason is like it probably hails from a different country where different letters are used and like just the spelling is different based on where you come from.

Also a good option, but I'm sticking with my theory.

Okay.

Maybe now, like, maybe back then, that's how G off got into the mix because it was like, you know, the different letters.

It's a combination of both of our theories.

But today, people go with G off because it's like a little bit more special than Jeff.

Right.

And, like, you just don't want your kid to be Jeff, like, in a, in a group full of, like, you know,

Brandlyn, you know, everyone's like making up names these days.

So I love my friend Brandlyn.

He is just like the coolest guy.

Everyone's like, Brandlyn is.

I was trying to think of like one of those names, but I couldn't.

If you know anyone named Brandlyn, please send them this episode.

Well, you know, I have a special place in my heart for a name like that because back in my Snapchat days, one of my most popular characters was a woman named Brandy Lynn, and she's still somewhere inside of me.

Yeah, for sure.

But there is a very big difference between Brandy Lynn and Brandon Lynn.

I was trying to like.

No, I know what you mean.

Like the board of names on it.

Yes, yes, I was the EO.

The board, the meme.

The meme.

Yes, yes.

We all know.

Yeah, which I just, none of the names on the meme are coming to mind.

That's why I said Brandon Lynn.

We'll have to post it.

But everyone knows that meme.

Yeah.

So we've got a great show for you guys today.

You know, I hate, I agree with what you said yesterday.

Like, I hate when we have like the same story every day, but there's been an enormous development in the box of it all.

Yeah, there's a lot to talk about in the Kim, Pete, Kanye, Julia realm.

And we're just going to round out the week the way that we started it.

I'm

talking about these four people because there have been major developments and

it's just, it is what it is.

Yeah.

But I agree.

And hopefully, you know, everyone will take like a long nap after this and just chill out.

And we don't hear from them for a while.

But like, as long as we're hearing from them, we're going to be talking about them.

It's what we do.

And luckily, these are people that we absolutely love and adore.

You know, it's not

a lot of thoughts on it's not like a love triangle between you know a big shit, like people that are.

Yeah, it's tough when there's like a trending news story, and on a personal level, like I just couldn't give less of a shit about these people, and I would love to just not talk about them, but they're like so famous and it's like the biggest thing going on in the world.

So, let's be grateful that the biggest story for this last week is something we're actually

interested in and motivated by.

Yeah, and is about our favorite people.

So I guess without further ado, did it do to do,

where are you?

Where is Dew?

Um, Dew is with his father because, like, when we're in New York, when we were away for the holiday, was Theo up my butt or what?

Like, he was obsessed with me.

Almost

like low-key annoying.

Up your butt and around the corner.

In the toy chest.

Did other kids used to say that, or was that like an Austral family thing?

No, it's, I don't know.

Does anybody know where mom is?

Up your butt around the corner in the toy chest.

Were we the only ones who said toy chests?

I we like we definitely

up your butt around the corner is a saying, but in the toy chest.

But like did we have a toy chest?

We had a lot of different chests, but we had a chest full of all of our like dress costumes.

Yeah.

But

a toy chest is not like a term that we really used a lot.

So I feel like we didn't make it up.

Do let us know.

Did you grow up with the toy chest of it all?

Yeah.

Anyways, now without further ado.

Oh, wait, sorry.

So what I was saying was when we were away, like Theo, like, I could not get arrested.

He was like kind of clingy.

And now that we're back in New York, he's back to not fucking with me whatsoever, obsessed with Ben.

Except, you know, I love to talk about me and Ben's communication issues when it comes to Theo.

You know, this week, twice, Theo got fed twice.

I know.

Two breakfast tigs.

He was two breakfast tigs, and then he was two dinner tigs.

And yesterday,

we had a major miscommunication.

Theo did not get fed breakfast,

and we were like arguing.

I think at the end of the day, like it was my fault, but it was

a mistake that anyone could have made.

That happened over here once.

Bryce didn't get breakfast.

Traumatizing, you feel like such a negligent piece of shit.

Yeah, and it's like, why didn't you say something?

No, I know.

And it's like, it just, I actually felt so bad.

That's rough, but you know what?

After like TBT and TDT, he was totally balanced.

NBT

was due.

Was due.

Do-do.

If you follow that, you get an A for today's math class.

If you understood what the fuck we just said, like,

bless your heart.

Yeah.

Okay, now without further ado, to do to do, here are the fast high stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

How?

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Wonderful.

Okay, our first story.

Kanye's new lady love has written an article for interview magazine complete with pictures about their second date.

It's called Date Night.

Now, and it's incredibly losery.

I'm sorry.

Okay.

First of all, it's only two paragraphs.

So like I really actually just want to read it because TLDR, even though it's not long at all, because I like sat down this morning with my breakfast and I was like, I'm going to read what Julia Fox wrote for Interview Magazine.

So I read a screenshot from Not Skinny, but I've fat.

I'm like, oh, you know, let me go read this whole article.

That was it.

It's an Instagram caption about her night with Kanye.

It was a call that could have been an email.

Yes.

She said, I met Ye in Miami on New York.

No, it was an email that could have been a call because, like, I was expecting.

I was like, I wanted to get on the phone.

I was expecting more.

This was a Slack.

This was a Slack chat.

to her friend at work about her date night.

It was an email that could have been like a snap message.

No, no, no.

It was a snap message that could have been an email.

Like this is so short.

The email is lengthy.

It should be lengthening.

It's writing a snap message.

It should have been lengthy.

If you're writing an article,

everyone's sitting down to read.

Everything two different things.

You're writing an article, everyone's sitting down to read it, and it's a snap message.

And okay, my overall message here is that it didn't need to be an article.

Got it.

We were saying the same thing, but differently.

Yes.

She said, I met Ye in Miami on New Year's Eve, and it was an instant connection.

Okay, they've known each other for six days days when she wrote this.

His energy is so fun to be around.

He had me and my friends laughing, dancing, and smiling all night.

We decided to keep the energy going and fly back to New York City to see Slave Play.

Ye's flight landed at six and the play was at seven and he was there on time.

I was impressed.

After the play, we chose to do dinner at Carbone, which Jackie Ashre still has never been to, and her sister Claudia did not drop off pasta, even though she said that maybe she would.

Yeah, but wait, um, what day did they go out?

They went out, so we reported that on Wednesday.

They went out Tuesday night.

I was at Carbone on Wednesday.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Which is, she said, which is one of my favorite restaurants, obviously.

I wouldn't know.

At the restaurant, Ye directed an entire photo shoot for me while people dined.

The whole restaurant loved it and cheered us on while it was happening.

After dinner, Ye had a surprise for me.

I mean, I'm still in shock.

Ye had an entire hotel suite full of clothes.

It was every girl's dream come true.

It felt like a real Cinderella moment.

I don't know how he did it or how he got all of it there in time, but I was so surprised.

Like, who does things like this on a second date or any date?

Everything with us has been so organic.

I don't know where things are headed, but if this is any indication of the future, I'm loving the ride.

Okay.

And then there's like an episode of The Bachelor.

There's a series of photos that, you know, are the ones the photo shoot that she's referencing.

And some of them are like pretty intimate between her and Kanye.

Some of them are just like her being his like fashion girly, all dolled up and like very moody aesthetic.

So what it is.

So let me just say one thing.

Okay.

Because for me, like this is so tacky and so corny and like not cute at all.

But I just want to say like if Kim was the subject of all of this, I would have been like, oh man, this is everything.

Like yes, I wish that was me.

I mean, my confusion is like she got like, it sounds like she was out at a club with her friends.

Like this girl just seems like a regular like Instagram like pop culture girly.

She's like, wait, wait.

I couldn't agree more.

Because to put it lightly, if you don't know who this person is, and most of us don't,

the equivalent of Kanye going out and having this whole situation with this girl is literally like Kanye going out with you.

She has a podcast.

I was going to say, like going out with Margo Ashre.

Like Margot Ashray is in Miami for New Year's Eve, and all of a sudden her and her friends get Kanye's attention.

They're flying to New York.

They're going to Carbone.

All this happens in six days.

And then Margo takes to this

magazine.

She goes on the morning toast.

And then talks about it.

So like.

First of all, I'm just happy for this girl because how exciting.

And like, I think it's actually pretty cool of Kanye.

He's always stating like the most serious people, people who probably don't have Instagram.

And like, and now he's just eating like a toaster, it feels like.

Okay.

And so, really, the best part of all of this, I saw on Instagram, Liz Height found a podcast.

So she has a podcast.

And at the end of last year, she did like a 2021 recap of all the crazy things that happened in pop culture with her co-hosts.

And they literally went on like a 10-minute rant about the Kardashians.

Both of them, like, how they've been obsessed since day one, since before it was cool.

They were talking about the Tristan drama.

They were out here defending Chloe, talking about how sad they were about Kim and Kanye.

Like, it's actually extremely weird.

I saw that too.

So that's what I'm saying.

She's just like a girly about town and like this amazing thing has happened.

And I'm just so worried, like, where do her and Kanye go from here?

Did he approve of this article?

A part of me feels, a part of me feels like, yes, because of the photos.

Like, maybe he wanted these pictures out there.

Like, they're pretty cool.

And like, they're, you know.

his vibe, the outfits and everything, but it's only six days in.

I'm worried that, you know,

I'm worried it's over before it starts.

So I was also extremely curious about the approval from Kanye.

Like, was this a joint venture?

Did she go rogue?

I'm very curious about that, too.

I'm also interested in the dynamics of this relationship because the way that I'm seeing it is like, this is the biggest fairy tale, the best thing that'll ever happen.

Like, Julia, like, this is a once-in-a-lifetime thing.

A million girls that wish that they would, this would happen to them.

But for Kanye, I'm like worried that this is like a strategic move, very public, trying to get Kim's attention while she's like, you know, involved with Pete.

And I'm worried that if that's what it is, like, Julia's like falling head over heels in love with like, who wouldn't?

Like this Prince Charming.

And for Kanye, like, this is just like a move.

Perhaps, but I mean, I think for her, one, if it's a move, I, I would think that she knows that like behind the scenes.

Like, maybe that this is just like, we're having fun, we're hanging out, and we're going to be public about it.

And she's just, you know, having the time of her life.

I don't think that he would be like pretending to be in love with her if,

you know, like in private, if those weren't his intentions.

I'm just worried.

I think he's a very, like, he's very honest.

I think we could say about Kanye.

He's not a funny.

I think he's also like an empath, you know?

He's sensitive to other people's feelings.

Yeah.

So I just, I mean, I don't know if they'll ever go out again.

I hope that they do.

I can't imagine that she did all of this without his consent knowing.

So I'm just going to go ahead and say,

okay.

Yeah, it was very, um,

it was jarring to see at first.

But now that I've debriefed, I still think it's weird, but I'm like happy for this girl.

I'm just very worried about her, you know?

I'm not.

I'm not.

I feel like this at worst is just going to be like a fun anecdote.

And at best could be a great love story.

100%.

Also, there was something so weird.

Her and Pete Davidson did a photo shoot together a few years ago for a different magazine.

Which like is only weird because if she was like an actual famous person, you know, famous people meet each other all the time, but she's like not.

She's definitely like trying, like she's on her way up, but

it's just really

it's not like just like a celebrity thing.

Like it was, it's weird.

Oh, yeah, a really weird, I want to say coincidence, but you never know.

Well, I'm just like happy for her.

I hope she's having fun, you know?

I think she's, this was probably the, like, the coolest week of her life.

I hope it continues.

And, you know what?

I love the content.

At least we got some pictures.

That's all we are ever asking for.

Yeah.

Just for me, like the biggest

question still remaining is, you know, Kanye's involvement in this very public thing.

I don't think she would go rogue.

I don't think so.

I would hope not.

Yeah.

I don't, but I just don't think so.

So also, like, did you see Kim and Pete are already back from the Bahamas?

Yes, that's another story.

Okay, okay.

Okay.

And, you know, know, we can just segue into that, and then we'll come back.

We're going to just like circle back to Kyle AOD.

Because he's making other news unrelated.

Uh-oh.

Next up, Kim and Pete are back from the Bahamas wearing the same clothes that they were wearing in the

iconic Timoronic pictures from yesterday that we talked about.

She is wearing the black top and the big jeans, and he is wearing the sweatsuit and the Letterman jacket, which is really fucking confusing.

TMZ has the pictures.

They're hopping off the plane in LA wearing those outfits.

What?

I didn't realize they were wearing the same outfit.

Yeah.

So I have just so many questions.

First of all, it feels like, you know, they were in the middle of their vacation and they had to, they were called home.

That's because this trip was five seconds.

24 hours.

Yeah.

Maybe it was always meant to be that short, but Bahamas to LA is like a pretty far flight.

That's a long travel.

New York, it's like two and a half hours.

They could have gone to Cabo if they really just wanted like a one-night vacation.

I'm so confused.

I can't believe they're wearing the same outfits.

I did not put that together.

But then I started thinking: like, the outfits were so misplaced when we saw them coming off of that other boat that maybe

all along they were on their way to the airport.

Also, the other boat that they were coming off of kind of looked like one of those charter boats that you take to get to the airport from whatever island that you're staying on.

Do you know what I mean?

So, are you saying that the pictures we saw of them yesterday were actually them leaving?

I don't know I don't know what their intent was I don't know if they the pictures that they saw that we saw maybe they were going to lunch and then all of a sudden they had to like it was a you know really

last minute flight home you're a hundred percent on to something like there is a connection between the bizarro outfits and this very quick 24-hour trip Yeah, and so I think the rational part of my mind is like these were never intended to be beach vacation outfits.

They were always going to the airport.

I mean, he's wearing a backpack that's like an airport move.

He's wearing a fleece, a wool fleece jacket in the sun on the beach.

Yeah, and Kim's wearing jeans.

Enormous jeans.

Enormous jeans.

So, like, maybe she never planned on wearing jeans to the beach, and we won't be doing that in two years.

Thank the Lord.

Jackie, you are so smart.

I'm just, I'm working with the clues.

You're no, this is literally, we're playing Clue, and you're 100% right.

But also noteworthy is the fact that he went back to LA with her.

Oh, that is noteworthy.

And he was at a

hockey game last night without Kim, obviously.

Oh, my God.

But people do so much in a day.

I know.

But so.

That's why when everyone's like, you have the same 24 hours in a day as Kim Kardashian.

Well, I don't have the same plane and the same budget and the same staff.

Yeah, no, I was delayed.

I was going through security.

And then I and then I had to, and then I had to take a shuttle to the Uber pickup rock.

Okay.

So if I am,

if I'm coming home from the Bahamas, I'm not going to a hockey game that night.

Here's why.

One, I didn't fly private, so I still have to go through security.

Two, I didn't have like, you know, an escort meet me at the plane, take me directly to my home, maybe even a helicopter.

No, I stood in a taxi line for an hour, and then I hit traffic, which I just feel like rich people, they don't hit traffic.

I don't think like traffic applies to celebrities.

I always think about that.

Like, I just don't think it.

it happens.

And then when I got home, like, I had to do my laundry and unpack.

I didn't have like a team of maids to do that.

So by the time the hockey game actually started, I'm probably not even home.

Yeah, I think that rich people obviously hit traffic unless they're taking a helicopter.

Not rich people, celebrities, sorry.

But when they get to,

like, the party doesn't start until they get there.

So they're never late because it's like, it didn't happen yet.

That is so true.

They're not like stressed about the traffic because it's like, oh, well, everyone there is waiting for them.

Right.

So it's like they don't have the same anxiety of like, I'm missing everything.

You're making amazing calls today, like really just one after the other.

Thank you.

Thanks, Thanks, Claudia.

No, you're so right.

Like, that's my goal.

Like, to be like so fun and cool that, like, really, it's not fun till I get there.

But alternate perspective is, like, you could have that, like, that energy.

It's all on you.

Like, if you didn't get stressed out by traffic, you were like, I don't want to be at a party that I'm not out yet anyway, then perhaps traffic would be less stressful.

Yeah, but like, I have too much like insecurity and FOMO.

Right, no, but it doesn't have to be there.

It's like something that maybe you could work out within yourself.

I need to work on, yeah.

Yeah.

Goals for 2022.

I can't believe they're back.

I can't believe that he went to a hockey game, and I'm like tired thinking about the last 24 hours for them.

I know, and I'm like stressed thinking about that outfit on the plane.

Like

I can't.

It looked like at first when the pictures we saw, they were getting off of some sort of like seaplane.

That's what I'm saying.

Like it looks like a boat that's like, it's not a fabulous day on a yacht.

Like it's a boat that takes you from A to B because you got to get to the airport.

Let me take a look at that picture again.

It has like.

Yeah, it's a boat.

It's not like a seaplane.

And there was like people behind them.

They were not on those boats.

There's people behind them who are also wearing jeans, fellow travelers.

Yeah.

It's not like, you know, Leo and San Trope.

Right, right, right.

And that's why yesterday's pictures were so disappointing because that's what I would have wanted to see from them.

Oh my God, breaking news.

Sidney Potier, the first black man to win an Oscar Titan of cinema, has passed away.

Oh my goodness.

I started getting like people notifications.

From their app?

No, from like Apple News.

Oh, oh, no.

And I just have to say, I thought it would be

on top of things.

And I only selected like hardcore breaking news.

I thought it would keep me more up to date.

But like, it's literally my job.

Like, they're telling me about things I figured out 30 minutes ago.

Yeah.

No.

If you have Apple News notifications on, like, do yourself a favor and turn them off.

Also, even if you say like hardcore breaking news, like they take their creative liberties with that.

and all of a sudden like you're getting a breaking news recipe for a casserole no you're totally right turn them off it's so stressful it's only been like a week so i'm gonna see right now it's not bothering me but it's not giving me like the the joie de viv i thought it was gonna give me okay Okay, anyways, that's the latest with Kim and Pete.

They're back in LA.

They were wearing those clothes.

I think they were intended to be travel clothes the whole time.

Still like very unrelatable, but much more comprehensible

than beach attire.

100%.

Great.

Glad we got to the bottom of that.

Always.

Next up, a little more Kanye news.

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Does Bruno want to start Helium 10?

He does.

He was feeling like very impacted by your ad read.

And there are people do.

He's feeling really strongly about it.

Yeah.

Okay.

Do you need to handle that while I sing a song or something?

No, I believe that Zach just cracked the door open so Bruno can go get his energy out.

Cool, cool.

Next story.

Kanye West confirms Yeezy Gap and Balenciaga collaboration.

Early in one or Yeezy Gap?

That's a three-fer.

Early Friday, the artist formerly known as Kanye West took to Instagram to confirm the new collab by sharing an excerpt from the associated legal documents that have signed contract by the Gap, Yeezy Supply, and Balenciaga.

So this is exciting.

Is this Balenciaga at Gap Prices or Gap at Balenciaga Prices?

I want to say it's Balenciaga at Gap Prices because

that's what Kanye's been doing for the gap.

And a lot of high-end brands do that.

And we, aside from Fendi skins, I haven't seen like gap at Balenciaga prices.

That would be.

I mean, that would be highweight robbery.

Yeah.

No, I think it'll be like the Balenciaga influence plus Yeezy as the connector, Gap as the distributor, manufacturer, etc.

It sounds so cool.

I'm not even going to bother trying to get anything.

Like it's going to be sold out in 45 seconds.

And I'm just honestly, I don't want to be let down.

Yeah.

I mean, Zach is sometimes good at

staking that stuff out.

So maybe if he's like trying to get anything for himself, I'll be like, get me anything.

Tell him to get me something too, extra large.

But yeah,

unless it's like really honestly Fendi skims, I can only, you know, send so many lines.

Yeah.

And you can only be like first on for so many things.

And I feel like I, considering there's a lot of stuff that I like want, I feel like I do okay out there, you know.

It brings me back to like the Kylie Lipkit days.

I know.

I was actually just thinking that too.

And I feel like, you know, throughout the years, I've gotten a lot of the stuff that I have wanted from these sort of drops.

So you can't have everything.

And I just, I don't think I'll be able to get Gap Easy Blen Siaga.

And that's me neither.

Because I think it's like,

I think it's probably more in demand than like Fendi skims.

Oh, yeah.

Given the price point, most likely.

Yeah, no, but even like just Kanye.

No, for like

it's.

And I'm assuming it's going to be like unisex vibes.

And also like the spandex Kim vibe.

It's not for everyone.

But then Kim like was being revolutionary and having Fendi going up, you know, to sizes they've never even heard of.

Yeah.

So that was iconic.

Those were good times.

Except I'm still upset about the dress that I ordered.

That then my order was canceled.

And in the time that they told me that it was canceled, I could have gone to the store and gotten it because it was gone.

And I went to the store and I was like, oh, I ordered that dress.

I'm so excited.

Big dope.

Big dope.

You're not getting it.

Big moron.

Like, le jole.

Le cholet.

That's really fucking upsetting.

But I don't want to complain because I know Kim has a lot on her plate.

Of course, of course, of course.

And this is not her plate.

This is not my plate.

Okay.

Well, you filmed the Salt Lake City reunion yesterday.

Did you see?

Ooh, no, I didn't.

How were the looks?

I'm scared to ask.

I didn't see looks yet.

I just saw Andy posting like his cards, a video of him and Lee.

And actually, he didn't even show Lisa, probably like so as not to spoil the look.

He was just doing like a baby gorgeous riff with her.

What's baby gorgeous?

Oh my god, like in the housewives community, it like went viral.

When it was probably a scene you fast-forwarded because Lisa was just picking her son up from school and it was like so uninteresting.

But he gets in the car and she's like, hi, baby gorgeous.

And everyone was like, baby gorgeous, baby gorgeous.

That's funny.

I missed you.

That's really, that's actually really funny.

And it's actually crazy how much Lisa has grown on me this year.

No, I know, but still, not enough to take the lead.

But no one has.

No one has.

If I had to choose, it would be Meredith.

But of course, Lisa was someone I couldn't even look at.

Like, I'm like, this woman.

Yeah, no, I totally agree.

Are you ready for our next story, which is some apt casting news?

Captain news?

No.

No, Okay.

No.

Sorry.

Cool.

Okay.

Apt casting news.

I'll just go.

Just some ACT.

An Audrey Hepburn biopic is in the works at Apple, and you're not going to guess who's playing her, but when I tell you, you're going to be like, oh my God, yes.

Let me think.

Okay, but you're going to have to think.

Give me an age range.

Like, how old is Audrey Hepburn?

Okay, no, I'll give you the age.

I'll give you the age of the actress, though.

I don't think it will help.

Just because I don't think you think about this person a lot.

But

she is 36 years old.

I'll give you some clues.

36.

Okay, that's older than I would have thought.

I'll give you a little bit of trivia.

Oh, you want to do charades?

No, because most people listen to his podcast.

Okay, I'll give you a little bit of trivia.

Fact number one

has an equally, I would say, famous sibling in the business to

Aaron Foster.

No, Aaron Foster will will not be playing the role of Audrey Hepburn.

Okay, so she is a famous

more than one.

Is it Elizabeth Olson?

No, very good guess.

Okay.

I only know of one famous sibling.

Do you want to know if it's a sister or a brother?

Sure.

Maggie Jillenall.

No, but oh my God.

Because I was about to write this bio pick off immediately.

Famous sister.

Okay.

Both of them, I would say, it depends what shows and movies you watch, but I would say they're equally famous, at least to me.

Ooh, how random.

Okay.

If I give you the next clue, I think it will probably

tip you over.

They come from a very wealthy family.

I believe they have football ties.

What?

Hold on.

Let me think.

Okay, so I'm assuming their dad was a football player.

No, like they own a football team, I think.

Oh.

Oh, wait,

oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, let me guess which one.

Rooney Mara?

Rooney Mara.

Okay, yeah.

She looks just like her.

Jackie, you're right.

I've literally not thought of Rooney Mara in 15 years.

And if you never brought her up again and she never crossed my mind, like, I would go to my grave never thinking of her.

I know you don't think about her.

Also, she is dating Joaquin Phoenix, would have been my next clue.

Which is

a huge Mara fan.

You are.

Oh, right, because you like the teacher.

Well, I didn't like the teacher because it was too much.

Disgusted.

Who's your favorite favorite show.

I thought she was great in it, and I think she's really, like, so cute.

She was also really scares me a little.

She was good in House of Cards also.

Never watched it.

You're not, you would literally hate it.

And I can't watch it now.

It's like, what are you supporting Kevin?

And actually, you can't even find it anywhere.

No, it's definitely still on Netflix.

Really?

I would have thought they took it off like because of the shame.

No, they, I mean, it was their first big show.

They're not going to take it off.

And still, so many people love it.

And then they did the last season without him.

So I think that they thought that they, you know, redeemed themselves, even though everyone was like, get the fuck out of here.

I still think one of like the most interesting things like to come out of the streaming wars and just when we look back on the last like five years of like how nobody watches cable and the arch of like streaming services offering old content and then making their own and how like the first original streaming show really ever made was house of cards i think it's like the weirdest thing ever yeah But it was, it was really big and it was good at a time, but not,

I don't know.

I don't look back on it fondly.

Anyways, Rooney Mara will be playing the role of Audrey Hepburn in a new biopic variety has confirmed.

So,

yeah, I think she'll be great.

She really looks like her.

And it's two pictures like side by side.

Let me see, because I think in my mind, they're both just like brunette.

They're both like brunette with like very angular faces.

Okay, they just happened to choose a picture of her like with a high button where she does.

Because for me, so imagine with hair and makeup, imagine with Audrey's bangs, like she's going to be literally her to a T.

That's exactly what I was going to say, hair and makeup, because I think of Rooney, like on a personal level, as being edgy, like borderline, like frightening.

And Catherine Hepburn is very like old Hollywood, glamour, soft, feminine.

So I will be very interested to see this hair and makeup department.

And also, Rooney is a really great serious actress.

So I think, like, not only are you getting someone who looks exactly like the person, but I think in the art,

her artistry will be on on point as well no she's extremely talented so i think this is just like a win a casting win that's true for this week just like chris evans as gene kelly's imaginary friend yeah not

as passionate about that one no but i'm i'm very passionate about this one i think this is exciting and an audrey hepper and biopic is always just a good idea and always welcome and i think like for more people of our generation like we all know audrey hepper and everybody has her quotes on their dorm wall but like that picture of her with the pearl necklace like in spo on their pinterest board right but like do you even know her no no and i think if you're gonna hang up a picture of audrey hebner like you should have had required reading here's yeah i so i think it's all good i'm excited yeah and that sounds like it'll be like an oscar contender for sure for sure for sure are you ready for a fifth and final story that was hand-picked for you for you

like if i was hosting with someone else i don't know that i would have picked this story well it's a good thing that it's the fat.

Ooh!

Yikes!

Sorry.

Yikes.

It's the final story.

About interview magazine.

Okay, it's the fifth and final story brought to you by Relatively Famous Ranch Rules, which is a show we were just talking about.

There's a brand new show coming to E in January.

It's called Relatively Famous Ranch Rules, and it's hilarious.

They took eight kids who have celebrity parents.

It's the Hoff's daughter, Shaq's kid, Billy Bob Thornton's son, Pat Benatar's daughter, and a bunch of others.

Even Easy E's daughter is on the show.

Anyway, they drop them onto a ranch and help them out for the summer.

They're supposed to, quote, save the ranch.

These kids come from super privileged backgrounds and they have zero life skills and the show is amazing besides all the crazy ranch stuff they have to endure like breeding cattle and chasing pigs around.

They have to contend with each other's rich kid drama because of course they all think they're so special.

These kids are totally unprepared for any of this.

They have never even had to cook their own food before and now they're being thrown into a situation where they have to figure out how to cope with real life and real work for the first time in their lives.

It's a lot for them, as you can imagine.

And the show is everything, bad behavior, romance, romance, hookups, and the occasional cattle drive.

It's relatively famous ranch rules and it starts this January only on E.

We were just talking about that the other day, how it's such a good concept for a show.

That is so funny, and I'm so glad now we know who the kids are.

And I guess some of them have different last names than their parents, but

that's a really great cast.

And also, now that I'm like having a Yellowstone-sized piece of my heart missing, this might fill it, honestly.

This is just the thing.

Just the thing.

Okay, our fifth and final story, which is for Claudia directly: Coca-Cola is partnering with Constellation Brands.

Oh, I know.

I know.

Is partnering with Constellation brands to launch alcoholic fresca cocktails.

So Ben told me this yesterday because you know nothing flies in the alcohol world without Ben being notified.

Right.

I feel a little funny even talking about it because obviously we're Spritz girlies.

Use code toast at spritzsociety.com, the best product on the market.

And I stand by that, but that doesn't mean I can't be open to other things.

No, and like when your favorite beverage is coming out with an alcoholic version, obviously you have to try it.

Let me tell you why this is such a good idea.

One, because Fresca, in my mind is like a really unique brand that's like a part of obviously Coca-Cola, like a global, but a lot of people like don't drink it.

And if they do, it's like always with alcohol.

Obviously a fresca and tequila is called, it's like a fresquila.

Yeah, but it's like an off-brand

Paloma.

It's like a grapefruit tequila.

So it's really, really popular.

And it's like a better version of Sprite in my opinion.

It has more flavors.

And I love it on its own, but most normal people drink it as a cocktail and use it as a mixer.

So I think that this is super, super genius.

I don't know what type of alcohol it's going to be.

I really hope it's not like a malt beverage.

Like all these spiked seltzers are malt.

That's just like, malt is not it.

It's not like, in my opinion, good.

And I hope that they can work on doing this as a tequila brand because there's a huge gap in the market.

You know that I think it was Aniser Busch that was working with Travis Scott for his cactus.

They've discontinued it given the drama.

And I also just don't think it was super popular.

What I saw people saying was like it was actually disgusting.

Um, so there's a gap in the market for like a tequila thing, so I think that this should be tequila, I really do.

Okay, well, it doesn't say here, but um,

the beverage will be a line of full-flavored spirit-based, ready-to-drink cocktails, including fresco, which is a grapefruit and citrus-flavored soft drink with zero calories.

The new name of the alcoholic fresco will be called fresca mixed.

Okay, I feel like they could have had a little more fun with that.

Like, I agree, it's very basic,

yeah, yeah.

Like, fresca is just like a great word that you could conjunct.

It's like,

like, and also you could add on to it, like,

Fret.

I don't want to.

No, we'll get there.

Hold on.

Yeah.

But also, if we knew what was in it, that would be helpful because we could call it like.

Right.

Freschillo, we would know would be like Tequita Lafresca.

If you have a good idea for a title of this cocktail, drop it in the comments.

Yeah, but I think that this is really exciting.

Just like, one, it's a good idea.

Two, you love fresca and you'll try it.

And three, you know, if it's, if it's really good, like that's great.

If it's not, it sucks, there's always Spritz Society.com, Code Toast.

To SpritzSociety.com's Code Toast.

But also, Spritz Society is wine-based, and there's no way that this is going to be wine-based.

No, so they said spirit-based, which really makes me think it's going to be a tequila-based, but, and I understand why.

Now that I'm like in the biz, it makes if you have a...

a product that's like actually vodka or tequila based there's like half the locations you can't legally get into you can't really be sold depending on the state at like a 7-Eleven a convenience store a supermarket store yeah that's why these Spike Selters are so popular.

You could sell it at fucking CVS because it's really not true alcohol.

It's malt, which personally doesn't agree with my stomach because it's a lot of chemicals.

You know, I really prefer to be like a natural queen.

That's why I go with Sports Society coat toast.

The all-natural flavors and ingredients.

Yeah, and Made in America, based in Sonoma, California.

So good.

Real wine, real flavors.

Real people.

Real.

Real.

But this is very exciting.

I'm not delusional.

This has the potential to be huge.

Yeah.

I mean, and that would be really great for Coca-Cola because, you know, they're this small startup brand.

Right.

And this, you know, has a lot of tenacity.

They could really use a win.

I would be really happy for them.

You love to see other small businesses getting out there, building up equity for themselves.

It's gorgeous.

In the space, yeah.

You do.

So those are the fast five stories.

I do feel like you needed to know them as you head into this wonderful first weekend of the new year.

If you're going to a dinner party, if you're going to the rodeo, you have what to talk about and what to ruminate on, what to think about.

I feel like we've asked a lot of big questions this week, you know?

We have, we have.

Why would you name your son Geoff if you could name him Jeff?

So true.

Something to think about.

That's what we do here.

We give you guys things to talk about and we really just want to, I thought this was a great week of toast.

I'm so glad we got our video up.

And I'm just really looking forward to what the rest of the year has and especially looking forward to this weekend.

Yeah, I'm really jazzed about this new interface.

I've been working on some stuff like for myself to make my experience more premium, but I'm just being shut down at every turn.

Like, I tried to order a new computer.

And

the Apple, is anybody else like having horrible

experiences with Apple?

A month ago, I ordered AirPods.

And in New York, like when you order from the Apple store, they deliver it same day because they're so in two hours, which

my AirPods never arrived that day.

The next day, a week later, they, I finally, like, called Apple Support and because it said it was delivered and like they're just gaslighting me, they weren't delivered.

I fraudulent.

Finally, I got someone on the phone and they were like, Um, you know, a lot of things are just being stolen in transit and just not arriving to their desired location.

I was like, Oh, um, okay, greatest city on earth.

I was like, Okay, that's really scary.

I hope um, everyone's okay.

And I got my order canceled, but then I went to order a new computer.

I was like, you know what?

I'm gonna give Apple a chance again.

Small company, like, just want to support, right?

Right, right.

So important to lift up small businesses, shop local.

So important to lift up the first business that's worth a trillion dollars in history.

Yeah, no, I felt really good about that.

And then my computer did not come that day, of course.

Why would it?

Fool me twice, shame on me.

And then the next day, they just canceled my order and they said, no, you're not getting a new computer, and your video is going to be blurrier than Claudia's.

And that's how it's going to stay.

Sounds like a former toaster works at Apple and is setting you up for failure.

Yeah.

No, and so it's like, am I going to try a third time?

Or what is my alternative?

Daddy, maybe it's time for Adele, a PC.

Maybe I should get a Dele.

Just Lenovo.

Like, because

I've heard great things about the Microsoft surface.

I don't know if it has a camera.

And that's a tablet, right?

Yeah, yeah, it's a tablet.

I need like a big hunking computer.

I mean, you would think Apple are the computer people, but what do you do when you can't get a computer?

No, and now this is like just a true testament to how much we rely on Apple and how it's like such like an integral part of our lives.

Yeah.

So there's no other option.

Like there's really no competitor.

Like, no offense, like, I'm not going PC.

Like, I'd rather have no computer.

Maybe I should go.

I don't know.

I just need a fucking computer.

So

I've heard good things about Lenovo.

Okay.

It's a really weird spot to be in.

100%.

Like, this isn't optional.

Also, like, you just could send Zach to the Apple store.

I could.

That would be maybe

my next step.

But, like, Apple, a trillion dollars.

You can't order a computer online.

You can't get a computer.

You know, Apple could learn a thing or two about running a business from us.

Totally.

Totally.

Well, those were the fast five.

I definitely feel as though you needed to know them.

There is no TV recap because yesterday was nothing on TV.

And that is,

I believe,

our show.

It is our show.

I do feel like it could have been someone else's, but it wasn't.

It was ours.

No, I actually don't think it could have been anyone else's, but ours.

Yeah, I know.

I know.

Thank Thank you guys so much for listening to the Morning Toast, the Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories that you, yes, you, need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your Morning Toast.

We are available on YouTube.

So if you're watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up.

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So if you listen to podcasts, find out some morning toast and leave a five-star review about how beautiful, stunning, and smart we are.

We hope you guys have an amazing weekend.

Stay safe.

Enjoy the snow.

Come see the rodeo.

And we love you.

Love you, bye.