S5 Ep1: The Time Name Continuum: Monday, January 3rd, 2022

Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the Morning Toast.

Happy New Year.

Happy Monday.

It's the Monday Monday of all Mondays.

Hey, Claude, how are you doing?

Hello, everyone.

Happy 2022.

Hi, Jackie.

So excited to be back on the air with my gal.

So excited to be back on the air, though.

I am a bit RDH because we aren't in studio, as you can probably tell, which, you know, is a Jackie's choice.

I'm going to take that one on the chin.

Just case numbers in New York are still leading the country.

And so I need to do what's best and make the best decisions.

So we're podcasting remotely, but every day this week will be different.

We are going to do some Zoom episodes for the YouTube listeners, but today is just podcast only to get back in the saddle.

And I apologize.

Don't apologize, Jackie.

We have an LC to protect, and I don't think anyone is taking that lightly.

I really don't.

I think I've gotten nothing but understanding from our listeners, but it really is just so crazy how really things could not be worse in terms of COVID right now and COVID cases.

And it's crunch time for me.

So that means PFH, podcast from home.

Yeah, and we're going to try and keep it spicy, interesting.

I'm going to get Ben on some episodes.

Maybe me and Ben can go into the studio.

But I agree.

It's the right thing to do.

And you know what?

We have so much to say.

Sometimes I really feel like a podcast from a podcast only episode is the perfect place to have like emotional verbal diarrhea.

Like there's just been so much going on.

We haven't been on the podcast for like two or three weeks and a PFH is the perfect thing right now.

Agreed.

Also, it is the new year.

This is just like,

how do you feel on the first Monday of the new year?

It's such an overwhelming day.

Yes, it's a bizarre thing to start a new year working from home because even if I'm super productive, like my hair is gross, I'm wearing pajamas.

I'm not wearing a bra.

I'm never going to feel like I'm reaching my full potential when I am working working from home.

So there's that, but I'm not going to let it sidetrack my headspace.

You know, you're in charge of your own mentality.

And today, my mentality is positive.

It's productive.

We're getting back to work.

We're changing lives.

We're saving lives, you know?

Wow.

Are these some resolutions from you that I'm hearing?

Some positivity in the new year?

No.

No.

Oh.

Okay.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry.

I'm always positive.

I just want to say.

And every time I'm positive, you act like I'm, oh, are you turning a new leaf?

Bitch, I'm always positive.

Always.

Like, you can count on me to be positive.

Okay, maybe,

maybe that's right.

But I just want to say, like, when you are positive, it's not just me who's like, hey, Claude, are we turning a new leaf?

Like, everybody's like, Claudia's positive.

Well, you know what?

I want to say I resent, I resent that wholeheartedly.

Like, are you turning a new leaf?

What was my old leaf?

I'm always, maybe, maybe sometimes I mask my positivity with a, you know, a little bit of a negative negative.

Yeah,

but I still am positive.

Like, I stand by that.

I'm a really positive person.

I stand by that.

Like, I don't think there's anything different about me.

Okay.

But, you know, on the first day of the new year, like, everybody is leading with positivity, with

optimism.

Of course, we're all putting our best foot forward.

And that's always exciting.

Yeah, it is.

And I'm really going to, I'm going to do it.

You know, today I'm going to, I'm going to be productive.

I'm going to do shit, you know, get shit done.

I've been needing to clean out like so so many crevices of my apartment.

Christmas has passed, you guys, and I did not see the snow by Christmas in my own apartment.

We were away and we were in a beautiful mountain home, and I did see the snow by Christmas, but that doesn't really count.

The apartment search is just not.

If you live in New York right now, like cases are so bad, but they're not bad enough that Street Easy has become a free-for-all.

You know, it's still tough out there for us, Street Easy users.

Yeah, I'm sorry that it didn't happen for you.

It's really out of your hands and not your fault.

I agree.

Yeah, so don't beat yourself up over it.

So, Jax, how was your vacation?

My vacation was amazing.

It was so nice to vacate, to leave the city, to get fresh air, to get, you know, Brew out of his usual

routine and just spend the time with family.

It was extremely low-key,

extremely relaxing, you know, didn't move a muscle, but I was just so, I've been so fatigued.

Like, that's, I mean, that's really been the, the theme of my whole pregnancy, but like now I am just energy battery level is at like 5%.

I'm constantly on low battery.

So it was really nice to not require any battery.

How was it?

It was lovely.

It was lovely.

I am really happy to be home because, you know, I could be at the best hotel in the best city.

But at a certain point, like nothing is quite like being in your own house with your own things, your own bed.

And so I was very excited to get home last night after really an amazing, amazing vacation.

So good to see the fam.

So good to spend time with Kayla.

But now I'm ready, you know, like I'm ready to be a New York City gal again.

Yeah, and you have a big year ahead of you with your tour, just so much stuff coming up that's so exciting.

And so it's time to get back to work.

Oh my God, you know, I have something coming up that I have not shared that is so unlike me because, you know, I love to promote a project.

And we're coming up on the one-year anniversary of my book coming out, which is January 25th, which this year will be the paperback release of my book.

So January 25th, 2021 was when my book came out.

And now January 25th, 2022 is when my paperback comes out.

So that is available for pre-order.

You guys know the drill.

It's the same as last time.

But check it out.

I'm really excited.

Paperback is so legit.

I've actually like never read a hardcover book except my own.

I'm always constantly purchasing paperback.

Yeah, paperback is nice when there's the option, but you know, for some books, it takes a year till there is, just like yours.

So, I do prefer a hardcover, but uh, I love a paperback, especially for traveling.

So, it's nice that everyone will have the option to get both, and that's a very exciting milestone.

You also have another secret project that you referenced.

Oh, yeah, that you know is your secret to tell.

It's not my secret to tell.

You know what?

I mean, I feel like we're just spilling secrets.

Maybe that's today's episode, like spilling secrets.

Yes, a new project that has been really delayed because you know, my artistry comes first, always and forever.

Like, I will not release a work of art unless I am really, really sure that it is up to my, you know, my vision.

And so I've been working on this new song for a very long time and it is finally done.

So I'm going to release it in a few weeks.

I really want everyone to, you know, learn it, live it, eat it, breathe it, sleep it so we can sing it on tour together.

And it's, Jackie, like it's, it's unique.

Like it is not what you would expect from a girl like me.

Yeah, I've listened to it a few times now and I have to be honest, like it has gotten stuck in my head and that is the hallmark of a bop.

It's the hallmark of a bop.

I couldn't agree more.

So

critically acclaimed musician is coming out with another song.

I know Page 6 is probably going to write it up.

So just get all your facts straight.

Claudia O-S-H-R-Y.

Thank you.

Claudia, that's beautiful.

We're so happy for you.

And thank you for bringing music and light into our new year.

And positivity.

Well, other than that, I do feel like it was kind of an uneventful vacation break, like in just like the celebrity world, which was which was a pleasure, you know.

Um, but we're gonna get

when we're on vacation and like so much is happening, and like we're supposed to be vacating, but like we just need to discuss, you know, all the happenings.

But there was very, of course, Betty White, there was a few things that happened over the course of the last couple weeks, but nothing earth-shattering that required an emergency episode.

Right.

Usually, we're on vacation, we're like, you know, we have to do a fast five Patreon just to like download on everything that's happening because like we're going to burst if we don't talk about it.

We did not feel this way this time.

So on this episode today, we'll be talking about everything that happened in the last two weeks.

But also it opened us up to do some really fun Patreon episodes while we were on vacation.

So if you are not a Patreon member yet, check it out.

Patreon.com slash the morning toast.

We posted three

episodes from vacation.

The first was an all scenes on deck podcast episode that has become like an annual tradition when we're all on vacation together.

All four sisters get on the podcast and chat.

Then we did a truth or drink where you guys asked some really hysterical, salacious questions and the girls either had to answer truthfully or take a sip of their alcohol.

That one was really fun and fun for me because I didn't really have to

do anything.

Like open a vein.

And then we did a drunk, though not so drunk, get ready with us for New Year's Eve.

We forgot to drink.

We did.

You forgot to drink.

You and Margot took like two shots, but it was fun to just like get glam.

We hadn't put on makeup the whole trip, so we were just like swapping makeup tips and having a good time.

Being girly girls.

Being girly girls.

So head over to patreon.com slash the morning toast for all this bonus content.

And, you know, 2022 is just going to be like another year of premium Patreon.

Another year of premium Patreon, another year of killer episodes from Jax and I.

And when Jax is on maternity leave, we're going to get some fun special guests.

So it's really going to be, I don't want to, you know, say anything too crazy, but I have a feeling 2022 is going to be the year of the morning toast i'm just putting it out there i i love i love that sentiment i love that positivity love the delusion

okay well i guess without further ado wait no wait before we jump in there's one more thing okay you and i both reached our good reads reading challenge at the end of the year we crammed in those books i read 30 books which is more books than i have read in my entire life leading up to 2021 So I just want to thank my sister Jackie for really encouraging me, giving me her candle.

She didn't even charge me for it, like just forked it over, really encouraged me, gave me great recommendations.

I really couldn't have made it here without you, Jackie.

So I want to thank you.

I'd like to thank the toasters for constantly recommending, encouraging, motivating me.

And honestly, I want to thank myself.

Like I'm really proud of myself.

Like I'm a very stubborn person.

Like when I don't want to do something, I don't do it.

If I don't like something, I don't change that.

But I don't know.

I opened myself up to reading.

It's been a huge part of my year and I'm really proud of myself.

Like, I can't believe I read 30 books.

I'm so proud of you, and I'm so glad you mentioned that because I hit my reading goal too.

And like, I'm proud of both of us that, like, we weren't readers, and now we're readers.

But really, our personalities are different.

Where I like to do stuff like that makes me, you know, that I don't enjoy doing, just so I can like challenge you.

I like to do challenge, like, I did that juice cleanse, like, I went to the wellness retreat.

Like, I do like to like push myself, and you really don't, like, you're very comfortable.

So, it honestly, like, it's a huge credit to you that you have changed your behaviors and have incorporated reading into your life in such a huge way.

So I'm really proud of you.

Thank you for understanding.

Like I'm really a creature of habit.

So for me to do anything new, let alone hit my goal, I'm very pleased.

It's like I lost weight, you know, like that, that's something I'll never do.

But like, it's like I did it.

Yeah, no, you did it.

I hit my goal in the, like literally with five hours to spare of 2021.

I didn't think I was going to do it.

So in 2020, I read 65 books and I figured I wouldn't read that many in 2022 because it's not like we were all under lockdown the whole year.

But then, you know,

my back half of the year turned out to be very free.

So I wanted to hit, get the same amount of books and I, and I did it, which I'm really excited about.

But I set my goal for 2022 now.

And

my goal for 2022 is 30 books, which is far less than what I've been reading.

Oh, you have a child.

And I'm going to be a new mom, so I'm not going to have as much time.

But automatically, I'll read 10 books in the year for red.

I mean, sorry, 12 books for redheads.

That's true.

So that means another like one and a half books a month during leisure time.

And I feel like I might achieve that.

So it's not a lofty goal, but it kind of is.

But compared to what I've been doing, it's less than half.

The kids got to sleep at some point.

And also, I'll probably read like eight books between, like from now until the kid comes.

And that'll right, because you're on like major lockdown now.

Right.

So that'll really like be a nice cheat.

Then I only have to read like three books outside of redheads.

Yeah, yeah, that's a good call.

Yeah.

So that's exciting.

Also, I found out such an interesting factoid yesterday for some from someone who dm'd me

that i am the number two number 22 most followed person on goodreads this month

what isn't that crazy how did you find that out how did that person find it out so they dm'd me and goodreads is so difficult to navigate as like a social platform i don't know how to find anyone i have like three friends and it's you and the redheads and i

i was like trying i was like googling like most followed Goodreads.

There's no like list or anything, but she said when you, when you see my profile as an outsider, it says number 22 most followed.

And then if you click that, it gives you a list of the 50 most followed people this month, this year, and all time.

So I'm not like

all time, but this month I must have been very influential in the reading space.

So you're always welcome to follow me on Goodreads.

I don't know how you get there.

I can't figure it out.

You're the only person I follow.

There's like a friend of mine, Markel, like we always are swapping books.

We cannot connect on the platform.

Like we have to to connect via text.

As a social platform, it's atrocious.

Why everyone doesn't have a username, Claudia1234, that I could search?

It's so stupid.

It's so stupid.

And also, what's the difference between following someone and being their friend?

Being a friend.

I don't know.

Regardless, it just made me feel like really proud and was a really cool flex.

So I just wanted to share that with the group.

That's pretty sickening.

Just like, you know, being influential in the book space.

Speaking of which, New Redheads episode drops on Thursday.

I just started the new book.

It's a Snitch's Choice, which is a great way to start the year because it's like, if you want to pick up with us and you've not read in a while, a Snitch's Choice is a pretty good barrier to entry.

And it's really good.

Snitch said she finished it last night and she cried hysterically.

I saw.

I actually think I'm going to read it.

I think so far, I think I'm 25% in.

I think you would like it.

It's very easy reading, except there's like a hat situation that I'm not enjoying.

A Mrs.

Hat is in the book?

Like, she's trapped.

She has a really long travel day, four flights, and like she's wearing wedges and like a wide-brim hat.

Ooh.

And that's just like unforgivable.

Unforgivable.

So

we'll see.

Well, we've got a great show for you guys.

We're going to catch up on all things pop culture.

We're going to recap Salt Lake City.

I caught up on the three episodes I was behind on.

And to be honest, I've never been more confused about what's going on in a franchise in my entire life.

They are so messy.

So we'll get into that.

I just want to say, like, like they've really fumbled the ball.

Jackie, that's exactly I was preparing to come on here and say that.

They fumbled the ball on this opportunity of, you know, having a national case shine a spotlight on their show and like, how are the women going to handle it?

And, you know, everybody's talking about it.

And everything that they've done since the news came out, like they have just fumbled this opportunity.

Like they are all over.

I couldn't agree more.

They are all over the place.

It's to the point now where they're, when they're conversing and saying each other's names, I don't even know who's who.

Jackie, I was literally like looking at Lisa last night.

I'm like, you're Meredith.

Like I literally, these,

they're so confusing to me.

I don't know who's on what side for real.

And like, I don't even know who I can get behind.

There was, I was reading tweets last night and there was a tweet about Heather and I was like, there's a Heather on this show.

And it confused me to the point that I don't know their names anymore.

Yeah, no, they are out of control.

They're out of control.

Okay, I'm so glad we agree.

We'll get into the recap after the fast five.

So without further ado, it is time for the fast five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

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Okay, our first story of the new year.

I guess it's kind of, it's, it's a sad one, but it's the one, the big one.

Betty White died peacefully in her sleep at home, her agent says, at the age of 99, just two and a half weeks before what would have been her centennial birthday.

Her agent previously confirmed to people that the beloved comedian had died on Friday at age 99, just two and a half weeks before her 100th birthday.

Quote: Even though Betty was about to be 100, I thought she would live forever, he said in an earlier statement.

I will miss her terribly, and so will the animal world that she loved so much.

I don't think Betty ever feared passing because she always wanted to be with her most beloved husband, Alan Ludden.

She believed she would be with him again.

While she was gearing up to celebrate her 100th birthday on January 17th, and ahead of that day, in a cover story, Betty opened up to People magazine about how she was feeling about turning 100 years old.

So I just want to say

there's two things, two roads I want to travel down.

The first is that Betty White is an icon.

I never watched The Golden Girls, but I have a husband who was weirdly, incredibly impacted by that show.

He loved it so much.

I think he's a Blanche girly.

And I just, she left a legacy.

I'm a big Hotton Cleveland girly.

I know she just left a legacy that, you know,

that will live on.

She was a trailblazer for women in the in the TV industry.

She was on TV in 1939, which is insane.

So she's a queen.

But I also want to say, I don't know who was running Betty's PR, but I just think like doing a story on her 100th birthday.

This is just so funny.

Maybe it's because like I'm Jewish and like we just don't do stuff like this.

Like doing a story on her 100th birthday like a month before like it's such bad luck.

Like I would never agree to you'd have to wait till her 101st birthday, honestly.

Yeah, I mean, I agree.

It's, it's not great timing, but clearly she was comfortable with the decision.

And so they went forth.

And I guess now, like in hindsight, it will be like a celebratory issue of her life, which, you know, if they hadn't done anything, then there wouldn't be anything to, you know, consume and take in the almost 100 years that she spent on this earth.

Yeah, I guess.

But I mean, overall, I agree with you, but I'm just trying to look at it from a more positive perspective.

That's so you.

Yeah, but it's

unfortunate.

And she didn't make it to 100, but still, 99 is amazing.

Amazing.

All she accomplished was amazing.

She's a queen.

We will miss her dearly, but she lived a good life and she went peacefully in her sleep.

So, honestly, like, what more could you ask for from an icon?

Right.

What more could you ask for than like 95, 99 iconic years and to then go peacefully in your sleep?

And to be so beloved and see such an impact, a positive impact on the world.

It's, it is a dream.

Yeah, to go out with that sort of like love for you as an icon, a legend,

it's a beautiful thing to see.

So, obviously, her passing is sad, but it's a celebration of a life well lived.

Yes.

So, our next story: on New Year's Eve, the Kardashians dropped a new teaser for their Hulu show, a little trailer, where it's really just the girls wishing us a happy new year, which was really kind of them.

Thank you, girls.

Yeah, no, but like a trailer, it's

a trailer, it was not.

It wasn't.

It was not a trailer.

It was was a teaser.

No, it wasn't even a teaser.

It was a T.

It was a T.

Agreed, but it was like the first step towards

this new chapter.

And we got to see the girls back together.

Everyone's there wishing us a happy new year, which was really, I feel really sweet.

And, you know, from a branding perspective, it did seem like they kept a lot of the same motifs, fonts.

They loved to put the women side by side with like a line between them.

They kept a a lot of the same motifs and elements and branding from the Kardashians show.

Yeah, I agree.

But I also think it's like that's what they're comfortable with.

Like, obviously, this lighting.

They know, like, they're not going to, just because it's a new network doesn't mean we're going to step into some harsh lighting.

No, no, no.

But everybody really looks incredible.

We got to see Kylie.

You know, with a new show, it's always unclear if she's going to be participating.

Plus, she's been extremely low-key recently, which we'll talk about.

But

she was there as well, which was exciting.

Hopefully, that means that she will be involved more than she was.

Yeah, I mean, a lot of people think, like, since she's been so low-key, that means she's given birth, but then she did post an Instagram story with her belly.

Obviously, there's no way of knowing because we don't know like how far along she was, but honestly, I don't like to be like up people's vaginas, literally.

Like, when she had the baby, she will tell us.

Agreed, but uh, do you think that she gave birth?

No, I think she did.

I don't know.

You two have always, like, for me, at least in my mind, you've been on the same like

time.

Month.

Yeah.

I don't think so.

I'm trying to, like, think back.

And first of all, she's been low-key ever since Astrow World, and she's not been, you know, posting on Instagram

or stories or anything.

So, you know, maybe we would have known more if things had happened differently.

I think she's just been like being very private.

But also, Stormy has been seen around like at Chris's house.

Yes.

And with the other sisters.

And I feel, I think that's what parents do when they're bringing a new

child

so that like, you know, they can acclimate and then introduce Stormy.

But it's also holiday break and maybe like the kids are out of school and like Stormy's hanging out with her cousins and her grandma.

Yes, yes.

But like Stormy

should always be hanging out with her cousins and her grandma.

And we never see her that much on other people's platforms.

Plus there was the baby bottle in

Courtney and Travis's story.

And so I just feel, and also based on like

the trajectory of her bump, I do, I did always think she was a little bit

further ahead than me.

So I think it might have happened.

Okay, I mean, you've made a compelling case.

There's also a large conspiracy theory on TikTok about Kendall.

Maybe that she and Devin Booker have gotten married.

She did a little photo dump of her gorgeous farm holiday.

And she did a mirror picture with her and Devin.

And he's wearing a gold band on his finger.

Wow.

And boys don't really wear like, like when a girl wears a ring on her finger, like it could be a cocktail ring.

No, when I don't think when a boy this is the finger that fits the ring of this size like move on yeah it's it's something to think about that's so interesting it's also a mirror picture it could have been a reflection it could have been the other hand like you really never know i saw the farm dump but even if it was the other hand

to wear a ring finger on either hand to wear a ring on your ring finger on either hand as a man agrees says something in a long-term relationship.

That's really interesting.

I didn't even know that that was out there.

Also, I just want to say

the fact that Kylie did post a video of her belly on Instagram stories makes me think that also she gave birth.

She's trying to throw off the scent.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's like classic Kylie.

So that's what I think.

But obviously, it's, you know, her life and she obviously wants her privacy.

So I will drop it.

Do you have any name predictions?

No, I couldn't predict a Kardashian name if, you know, if I tried.

Billion dollars.

But you know, I just want to throw some names out there in case they end up being right she could continue with the weather motif and she could do cloudy named after me obviously which would be super cute does she know what she's having I mean do we know what she's having

we don't but we think it's a boy

based on based on emojis rainy oh no they have a rain

otherwise that would be great

tree oh they have true too similar

bush i don't think it will be another i'm trying to think of a nature nature.

I don't think it will be weather motif because that's what we thought with like north.

We thought the next one was going to be south.

Yeah.

I think she's going to have to go in a different direction.

Otherwise, this baby will always just be like, you know, in stormy shadow.

Second, yeah.

Literally.

In the shadow of the storm.

Literally.

In the shadow of the storm.

Literally.

So, do you have any other name predictions?

I think John.

No, I think like Matthew.

What about Dave?

That's like cool and unique.

Dave Webster.

Kind of like very elegant.

I agree.

Honestly, whatever she chooses, like will become the coolest name.

So, no, and it will become a name.

That's the thing.

Like, with Kardashians, like when, like, with North, I'm like, that's not a name.

It's a direction.

But then you just, we use the names true, stormy, north, rain.

We use them so much.

Yeah, like they're names now.

They are names when they weren't considered names.

They were just letters.

It's honestly naming a child, I think, is like the biggest decision.

It's the biggest deal ever.

I can't believe more people don't

talk about how stressful.

Yeah.

Or I also can't believe more people don't change their names.

That like everybody, for the most part, there's a lot of success with like what your parents name you and you're happy with it.

Well, do you feel connected to your name?

Yeah.

Is that okay?

Yeah, no, I was just asking.

Yes, I feel connected to my name, Jackie.

Do you want to ask me?

Do you feel connected to your name?

I really don't.

Like, when people, like the name Claudia and then me, like, when I disassociate the two, I'm like, what is Claudia?

Like, I just don't feel like a Claudia.

I don't really look like a Claudia.

And it's not, like, I'm not going to lie.

Is it my, it's not my favorite name.

Like, I don't love it.

Oh, my God.

It's so stunning.

And that's so crazy to hear you say that.

But I do sometimes feel like, you know, I'll be watching a show or something and there's like a character, Jackie, and it will take me like eight episodes to be like, that's my name.

So, but then imagine if like you had a really common name, like Ben Soffer, my husband, has a thousand friends with the name Ben.

And it's like some of my friends have now married or are dating other people named Ben.

Like

you're just one in a million.

So like, I don't know what's better, what's worse, but like that's something Ben experiences once a day.

That, yeah, that's really hard.

But then he also has just like a you know, a beautiful name, and that's the price of a name, and that's the reason why it's been around for so long.

Popular, because it's tried and true.

But yeah, I mean, first of all, just as like an ordinary person, to name a child is a really big under, like, it's it's.

I used to feel this way about like picking out your wedding dress.

It's like you can have any dress in the whole world, so the one that you pick, like, that's what you're saying is the best.

Like, that is such a

I don't agree with that.

No, but like, that's really a

that's your personal style, you know, like, no one else.

No, I actually disagree.

I disagree.

Okay, how so?

Because wedding dresses, you really can't have any wedding dress in the world.

First of all, so many people are limited by so many different things.

Like, for me, like, I had to rule out 50% of dresses because I wanted to wear sleeves.

Some people want to show boobs.

Some people don't want to show boobs.

They want certain necklines.

They're limited by budget.

Like, they're actually at the end of the day, once you go and try on dresses, there's only like five that actually realistically suit you.

Okay, I do agree with that to a degree.

And, you know, I couldn't wear any dress that I wanted, but

also because like

Kendall Jenner, Kendall Jenner could have, she has that problem.

The wedding dress.

I agree.

She is not limited by budget, by silhouette, by fitting.

She is a model.

Yes.

Okay, Kendall Jenner, I feel stressful for her when the time comes or because it has already come.

Right, because she could wear any wedding dress in the world.

So whatever she chooses, it's like, that's what you think is the best.

And you will be just like, that is you.

That is you.

Creme.

Creme.

So better be for the fucking creme.

Sorry if you're in New Jersey.

That means cream.

Exactly.

But generally speaking, I do feel like a wedding dress, it's like no one else could, like, you can't really copy.

You have to really use your own taste and originality.

And it really says a lot about you once you get past the barriers that like one has

when choosing.

So also, I feel that way about a name.

And it's this is an even bigger deal.

So one, as an ordinary person, it's hard to just like pick a name for a human being for the rest of their life.

That's so much pressure.

But two, as like a celebrity who does like the Kardashians, where they are like, you know, pulling these names at random a little bit, it's even

more, I think it's more pressure.

I guess they could always go like the traditional route if they wanted to, but it's like, where do they come up with these names?

No, and the thing is, no name.

Stormy's not in the baby naming book.

Like,

that's what I'm saying.

You can't even use the books.

But I'm saying the book, like, I actually think in the next couple years, those names will be in the books.

That's the influence of the Kardashians.

Some.

I think some.

I think that about like celebrity kids.

There are some celebrity kid names that at first seemed like really crazy and now they're less crazy sounding.

Yeah, but there are some celebrity names that seemed crazy and they're still crazy.

Apple.

I was thinking about Apple too and I thought that it's less crazy now.

It's still so crazy.

Okay.

Yeah.

I don't know.

Anyways,

that's where my head's at these days.

So I'm just well, clearly, because we were literally having a million conversations over the last month about your baby name.

It's the crazy.

I can't believe people do it every day.

Just pick a name.

They really don't.

They don't.

No, but like every day there are names that are chosen and people have to live with them forever.

So that is really crazy that it happens every day.

Yeah, it is.

Okay, I'm ready to move on to our next story then.

Are you?

Sure.

Though I was enjoying this riveting conversation.

Me too.

I could really talk about like names and like the meaning of names and like what, like how time changes names, you know?

Yeah.

Time and names are another very interesting dynamic.

It's the time-name conundrum.

Continuum.

Continuum.

It's also a conundrum, though.

That's so true.

Okay, ready for our next story?

Yes.

Kanye Kanye West will tear down a $4.5 million home across the street from Kim Kardashian.

So this news came out over the holidays that Kanye has bought the house across the street from Kim for $4.5 million and he will.

tear it down.

He only bought it for the location.

It's near Kim and the kids and he has a vision for the house and plans on constructing ASAP.

So this has caused a little bit of, you know, debate.

Yeah, because people are so fucking annoying.

Like, oh, he's Joe from you.

He's a stalker.

It's his fucking kids.

Like, how nice, like, to have the means where you can co-parent from next door.

Like, fuck off.

Everyone is so dramatic.

Yeah, it's, it sparked a debate whether this is cute or creepy.

I am team cute for sure.

It just is for the kids, okay?

So nice for the kids to just hop from one to the other.

It's giving, it's reminding me of, like, Gina Kirschenheider's Casita, where the intention was like the kids didn't have to move.

move very often because they would like switch in the house but obviously this is like on a different scale And I think it's a really cute, sweet move.

Also, they spent so long building that house together.

They clearly both liked the location enough to plop down this entire estate on it.

So I'm sure he likes the community and wants to be nearest kids.

I think it's like a really cute, sweet thing.

And considering they have the means to do something like this, it's a nice way to coexist as a modern family.

Right.

And Kim has said like many times that they're not on bad terms.

She's been to like all of his concerts since they announced that they were getting divorced.

They're clearly co-parenting or at least trying to co-parent in a nice,

you know, peaceful way.

So there really isn't anything weird about this.

The Kardashians are a very tightly knit family.

I mean, Scott, who was never married to Courtney and is the father of, like, he's super involved with the family.

There's really nothing weird about this.

And people are just like really like trying to make drama where there's not drama.

Yeah, I agree.

I only saw this as extremely sweet and I'm not.

Like how nice.

You have enough enough money to drop five million dollars on a house so that you can be next to your kids and it happens to be in like a gorgeous neighborhood like what's wrong with that no I mean it's really a dream I

a dream and you know considering Kim's doing her own thing and also Kanye is like dating and stuff and even though he like yes and goes around that he says that he loves Kim like to me it's like if I'm Kim I'm like oh this is the best of both worlds like my husband's still hung up on me and I'm like dating whoever I want like I come out smelling like flowers oh and my yeah but Kanye is a little misleading because he was like this entire week in Miami with an actress

Yes, I did see that.

No, and so that's why I, it still goes back to my original point of like, they're just doing their thing and, but he's still in love with her, you know?

Yeah, of course.

I mean, I'm still in love with her.

Um, speaking of Miami, our next story.

Okay, great.

I was literally just about to say, do we have a story on Miley?

Um, because I have a lot to say, and we're going to dive into it.

Great.

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Great.

So, our next story, Miley Cyrus hosted Miley's New Year's Eve party.

She suffered a wardrobe malfunction during the performance.

So, we watched pretty much, we switched between channels all night, but I would say we watched Miley the most, Miley and Pete Davidson's New Year's Eve party.

And I have so many thoughts, and most of them are shockingly positive.

By the way, overwhelmingly positive.

And Ryan Seacrest should be quaking right now because we were on YouTube TV.

I mean, I think more people than ever watched from home this year.

So because like the Omicron outbreak was like a week before.

So I think there were more people watching in general.

And there was more content.

Maybe I just don't watch a lot, but I'm always saying it's like Rockin' Dick and Clark and like something else.

But there was Nashville's Big Bash on CBS, which was excellent, hosted by Bobby Bones.

Amazing performers.

They had Darius Rucker, they had Gabby Barrett, they had Dirks Bentley, Luke Bryan, Jason Aldean.

They really had all the big Lady A, like they really killed it.

Then there was Miley and Pete, which was like a two-hour thing that started at 10.

The lineup wasn't really my

taste in music.

Like, I don't, I really listen to mostly country.

So you think I'd be drawn most to the Nashville Big Bash.

But Miley was, I'm sorry, she was everything of the sort.

She was charismatic.

She was gorgeous.

Her looks were everything.

Her singing is just spectacular.

And I really feel like she found a good thing.

And like, I wouldn't be surprised if this becomes like a yearly thing for her.

She was excellent.

I agree that she was excellent.

It felt like, you know, like a little bit like an award show with all the different performances and the sketches.

And she was the host.

And she really did such a great job.

I thought that her and Pete, I just assumed it would be annoying because, like, everything that you know is put out these days is really annoying, but I thought they had a really good dynamic.

The sketches were funny, though, you know, drawn out, which whatever, at least the premises were funny.

Miley did like her songs, she did a lot of covers, she sang the climb, which just felt like this gift that was just given to us and said, you know, go forth and prosper into 2022 and don't forget that it's about the climb.

And like, I feel like I had forgotten that it's about the climb.

I had completely forgotten that life's about the climb and brandy carlisle and miley were just there to remind me which was super super helpful yeah and even the other acts who were not necessarily for me like jack harlow um 24 karat golden even though i like that song mood you know it was it was a good time so I thought it was all so well done.

And then when you go, when you would flip back to like Ryan Seacrest in New York City, it was just fucking bleak.

And like when you would look at the crowds or lack thereof, again, bleak.

Like it was really kind of depressing.

And

Miley's was in Miami, where clearly, you know, there's this joie de viv that is just not happening in New York right now.

And I think that it really was like the future of what we could look to expect from New Year's Eve specials.

Plus, I loved Nashville, but Nashville ended at like when Miley began.

So we really watched both.

And I thought both of those programs did a far better job by miles than what the Dicken Clarken.

I agree.

And there's also, yeah, we were flipping through going to Ryan Secress, and they were playing clips from literally 1995, like Mariah Carrey Singing Hero from five years ago.

And they were just like, I don't know if they, because we really didn't watch, I don't even know if they had fresh live performers or they were just using clips, but I know Ryan Secress is like a really busy man.

And I just really feel like he should not be doing this.

Like it's really, it's low brow now.

And they're just like kind of doing too much.

Like they have to have like a million influencers and actresses.

Like just do what people want they want funny content funny hosts good interviews and uh good performers and they had really none of that yeah no we tuned in for one live performance and it was usher singing um i forget which song but it was a good song but the performance was like

so bad and i also just think like and this paints me as a lifelong new yorker like there's something about new york that's just not it anymore like

for forever, New York, Times Square, the ball, the glamour, the glitz, slowly over time, it's become like really corny and tacky.

And now it's like all sponsored by Planet Fitness.

And like the moronic mayor comes out.

It's just not it anymore.

And like, I think some other city, like they should see the gap in the market.

Like New York was it for New Year's, but there's a gap now.

Like it's no longer it.

No one wants to come and stand in Times Square and like be standing between people's vomit.

I think another city should step up and make it like their thing now because it is our thing, but we're not doing it very well.

No, and I think that that could be Miami.

I think they should get their own ball.

And like, that's where, that's where the party's at.

So.

And every, literally everyone I know for the last five years has fled to Florida for New Year's.

It's really becoming like the New Year, new city.

Yeah.

No,

it's, it's an interesting,

it's an interesting shift.

And I feel like this year was like the end of an era for.

Yeah, it was officially sad.

It was officially, officially sad.

But anyways.

And Miley was the one, you know, with that hammer putting the nail in the coffin.

Like, she was

sensational, charismatic, unique.

I have only positive things to say.

And the wardrobe malfunction, she handled like a fucking pro.

Okay, but we were watching it live.

We were quaking.

Did you think it was real?

Yes.

People are like saying, you know, it was stage, like for a little bit.

No, so.

She was performing with 24 Karat Golden.

They finished.

They gave each other a hug.

And like one of his bracelets got caught on the back of her chainmail.

And you see her like feel it fall off and she grabs her boobs and he walks off stage not knowing that he did that.

And then she starts singing Party in the USA for as long as she can until she just drops the shirt, walks off stage.

It was definitely real.

Got it.

I thought it was real too, but I am also, you know, a little bit naive sometimes.

So

I would never like see that and think, oh, that's staged.

But sometimes those things are staged or planned.

So no, I think it was real.

Yeah, no, she handled it great.

All of her looks were great.

And it was really, it was a treat for everyone who was staying at home.

And it was, it was quite surprising.

A treat is a perfect word.

And also, you know, that means that Pete was in Miami.

Kanye was in Miami.

I didn't see Kim and Miami.

So I guess she didn't get her New Year's kiss.

Oh, that's so sad.

I know, but I'm sure she was like with her kids being cute.

But still.

Her, I can't believe her and Pete are like still going strong, stronger than ever.

Yeah.

I mean,

I feel so all over the place about them, you know?

Yeah.

I'm net positive.

Of course, of course, of course.

But I think, you know, having been so close to them at one point,

I definitely felt, you know,

shocks of fraudulence.

For sure, but fraudulence wears off.

And so it's been a while.

There's proof in the pudding.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

Is it the final story?

Amazing.

I mean, we have to start the new year singing the final story, even though we try not to sing when we're doing remote because we can never get it to sync up.

Yeah, sorry.

I had to take that one on as a solo.

I understand.

No, no, no.

That's what I was hoping you would do.

Our fifth and final story is a little justice news.

Ghelaine Maxwell has been convicted of sex trafficking girls for Jeffrey Epstein.

Ghelaine Maxwell was convicted last Wednesday evening of recruiting and grooming underage girls for years as Jeffrey Epstein's madam, capping a stunning fall from grace for the British socialite who could now spend the rest of her life behind bars.

Ghelane sat still as the unanimous verdict on five of six counts was read aloud.

When it was done, she poured herself a cup of water and took a swig, then conferred with her lawyer.

She showed no emotion as she was hauled out of the federal court in Lower Manhattan in front of her siblings who were seated in the front row.

The jury deliberated for five full days, requesting troves of evidence and sordid witness testimonies that were presented during the month-long case before finding her guilty.

A sentencing date has not yet been set.

Right.

So I think the reason I'm overwhelmed, joyed, overjoyed.

I can't even say in words how great I am that the justice system has not failed us.

Guilty on, I think, all but one count.

So that's great.

But I do think the real, you know,

sign of

whether or not this is, I'm sorry to sound like a conspiracy theorist, whether or not this is like being covered up or whatever is what her sentencing,

what her sentence is going to be.

I think she'll get a long, appropriate sentence, and I don't think that that will be, I don't think that that's a sign of the cover-up.

But also, you probably didn't even see this, but apparently, apparently very quietly the charges against the guards who were supposed to be guarding Jeffrey Epstein when he allegedly killed himself the charges have been dropped

very low key

I like I mean Ghelaine being charged is definitely like a win for justice but I don't I think that she just like her the you know her team even said I think that she is you know taking on they're trying to just like saddle her with all of it and not a lot came out during the trial

like not a lot of names not a lot of you know her black book

So I think for the most part, the cover-up has gone down successfully.

And Ghelane, you know, was, she's the Christmas tree, just like Tom's Wamsgams.

They're just going to

pin all the ornaments on her.

Put her ornaments on her.

Yeah, because she didn't sing like a bird like they said she was going to.

She didn't implicate anyone, you know, influential or powerful in politics or media.

She didn't do any of that.

So.

So I think like, on the one hand, you know, we got justice here.

And I think a lot of people are satisfied with this verdict.

And it is is very good news.

But on the other hand, like it's just a very small piece of the pie and the rest of the pie is not

being eaten.

Being eaten.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So let's just take it one step at a time.

The verdict is in.

We are happy.

I will be very curious to see what her sentence is and if she mysteriously decides to, you know.

kill herself or disappear from prison.

But until then, justice has been served.

And as two girls who are constantly chasing justice, we have to celebrate this as a win.

Yes, we definitely do, and we are.

And we have.

And we will.

Yeah, and we are.

Yeah.

Cool.

And we have.

Yeah.

Well, those are the fast side stories.

I feel as though you needed to know them.

We are all caught up, abreast, ready to move into the new year, feeling

aware.

Feeling aware, feeling caught up, feeling like justice is on our side, and ready to talk about the real hot size of Salt Lake City, which was on last night.

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Okay, so I have a lot of thoughts about the the Real House I was at Salt Lake City, and I really want to start just by backtracking a little bit to the International Peace Park dinner,

lunch, whatever it was.

There was a lot going on.

First of all, like I have just really started to just, every time Mary speaks, like drop my jaw.

When she said that Jenny had yellow undertones, like I was shook.

And then the comment about slanted eyes, like that was just really.

And then this is also coming off the heels of her saying, you know, Jen is a Mexican thug.

Like really shocking.

Like just, you, that's just not shit you hear.

It was beyond.

But then beyond that, like the actual drama of the

brunch, like, I hate to say it, but like Jenny really thought she was doing something.

Like she really thought she was making a difference.

She really thought she was going to like make merch out of the some of the stuff that was coming out of her mouth.

And everything she said was just falling really flat.

Like she was trying way too hard to make a moment.

And she was really contradicting herself because she put this meal, this meal together.

She had it be at the peace park.

She invited everyone so that we could all all be peaceful, peaceful, peaceful, peaceful.

And she's the one acting a fool.

Like, she was the one literally losing her mind.

Like, I thought she was literally going to have smoke coming out of her ears.

Like, she was just being so contradictory.

No, and the idea that all of these women who have so much beef between them, the last time we saw them was in Veil, where like two girls forewent a private jet because they couldn't be around each other, where Meredith and

Jen aren't even speaking.

So the fact that you think the next time we all get together, it's going to be straight to peace is just not how any sort of friendship, relationship, or peacemaking works.

Like you need to work through issues before you can achieve peace.

So in order, so you want to work through the, you don't want to work through the issues.

You just want us to pretend to be peaceful.

Er, go, we're going to be fake.

And I actually thought the beginning of the lunch where they were just all being fake to each other was just the only way to go about it because what they're going to like erupt.

First of all, no one want, like, Meredith is not interested in having a conversation with Jen.

And honestly, I'm not interested in her having one either.

These are two people who do not get along.

And in real life, they would not be engaging with each other.

So, like, it doesn't bother me when Meredith completely like shuts down and is like, same,

disengages.

I actually have a lot of respect for it because I think that's normal human behavior.

But.

Even when Mary, when Mary was trying to talk to Jen about the case and she was asking questions, which I think is like the appropriate thing to do when your friend, you know, finds themself

in a case against the federal federal government just let's ask some questions and lisa was responding for jen and then mary mary came for lisa i i really agreed with mary on that point like let everybody's speaking about jen about who's being the best friend to jen blah blah blah but at the end of the day like this is about Jen.

Can we hear from Jen?

Because also as a menu.

No, Lisa was being intolerable at that meal.

When Meredith said, you've been screaming for the last half hour, I have to leave.

Like, I felt that in my soul.

Me too.

And as you were just like, we are trying to figure out how we feel about everything.

And it's not enough to just see Jen in her home scenes, like, you know, giving us her party line and making, you know, doing working overtime on her PR.

I want the women to ask the questions that we all have.

And instead, they're coming after each other.

And it's like, each other.

What?

No, honestly, the thought of Jen's mom giving her a million dollars of her teacher's like retirement salary is so heartbreaking.

Just knowing that like Jen's sitting in this mansion wearing all these clothes built off of, like, you know, stealing from the elderly, the vulnerable.

It was just horrible.

It was really, really painful to watch.

But to hark back to what you just said, it makes me think of Beverly Hills.

When all this stuff came out about Tom and Erica's divorce and then subsequently all the lawsuits, everything else in the show stopped.

Like, Erica was the sole focus.

Questions, all the conversations were about Erica.

When Erica was around, they were all directed towards her with questions.

Of course, we're also so confused.

These women cannot let go of all the idiotic minutiae between them.

Like, why are we going on between

Whitney and Lisa?

Like, we, there's, Jen is at the center.

And Jen literally hasn't spoken this whole episode.

No one's asking her any questions.

We're getting absolutely no clarity because everyone's just going at each other.

Like, like, they're just all losing focus of what's important.

And, like, and this could have been one of the best,

really put the show on the map.

One of the best seasons of Housewives.

It's so messy.

It's so lowbrow.

It's giving nothing.

Yeah.

And ultimately, it's confusing.

And to a certain, at a certain point, when I'm confused, I check out because I'm like, I just, I can't keep up.

I don't care.

There's no one here who I agree with 100%.

And I'm not getting answers to the questions that I have.

And I am trying.

I didn't watch, you know, the Jen Housewife and Hustler ABC new documentary.

And also, you know what?

I was thinking about it.

And I was thinking, like.

If this were my friend and this happened to my friend and how, what's the right, you know, course of human behavior when your friend is going through something like this?

Like something, the, what she's alleged is so atrocious, but you know, this is your friend and do you believe them?

And I think I would like I would call a lawyer and ask them to explain it to me.

And so that's what Lisa was doing in the

I have no problem with that.

And I feel like she's gotten a lot of heat for that.

Like that, you know, I don't know.

People are saying all these different crazy things, but like if I couldn't understand the facts of the case and what is known versus what is speculated,

that's exactly what I would do.

And I just wish we had more.

I wish like whatever Lisa knows as fact, like she would share with us.

She would question Jen.

And so like, we, I just, I, it feels weird to like judge someone when I have absolutely no information.

It's all fraudulent.

And you know what?

At the end of the day, when I think like, okay, if I was in this situation, how would I act?

It depends.

Like, what is this person to me?

These women, aside from like, you know, Lisa and Meredith, like, they're not real friends.

So the fact that like Whitney doesn't want anything to do, well, actually, they're also flip-floppy.

Like, Whitney didn't want anything to do with Jen and now they're going to coffee before.

Like, I don't know where anyone stands.

All these women are spineless, literally, spineless.

No one says what they feel.

They're all two-faced, least of the most, but they're all two-faced.

And honestly, it's made for such a chaotic, messy, and overwhelmingly not interesting season when it should have been this, like, boom, out the gate, like the biggest, best season of all time.

They're just dropped the ball.

Like, I don't know what the fuck is going on.

Right.

And Jen's defense that, like, they just picked her out of nowhere to come out.

And, like, you know, Homeland Security, the DOJ, New York Police Department, like, they don't just show up at Beauty Lab because they felt like it one day.

Like, and I saw Mary just stupid yesterday.

Like, this is a decade-long investigation.

Also, now we're going to move into the territory of, did Mary.

Of who turned her in?

You think Mary calls the feds and said, like, I think what Mary meant by, like, you message Mary.

She can't just call the feds, by the way.

There's not a phone number that you can call.

No, and no, actually, you could give a tip to like the Federal Bureau if you knew of some criminality.

But it's not like calling 911.

No, no, no.

But that's not like, you can't just like invent and, you know, want to get back at your real housewife.

So you call the heads and pins a crime on them.

And then, and then they go, like, and also, it's just preposterous.

Meredith tweeted last night that she thought it was preposterous too.

And like, they're giving them way too much credit for being able to influence.

the FBI in that sort of way.

Right.

But also, um,

shit.

No, I think when Mary said, like, you mess with my church, like, this is what happens.

I think she just meant like karma.

Right.

Like, Jesus will come after you.

Yeah.

So

actually, that's her tagline.

I'll send Jesus after you.

Right.

The fact that they are really like turning that into a literal statement.

It's so dumb.

And I know Whitney and Heather think they're doing something.

I know the fans think Whitney and Heather are doing something.

And I just want to let everyone know that everyone is doing nothing.

Everyone is doing nothing.

Couldn't have said it better myself.

And I watched two episodes last night of Salt Lake City.

There was no Carlin, and that's not okay.

That's not true.

Carlin won first place at the art fair, and they had the picture of her holding her blue ribbon.

I thought of you.

Wait, I missed that.

When Jenny went to her husband's office to sit down on the chiropractor table and have lunch from the Cheesecake Factory, which looks delicious.

I saw that.

She was filling her in.

Oh, Carlin was so excited.

She won first place.

I think it was an art festival or something.

And then they showed a picture on the screen of her holding her blue bow.

Wow, I missed that.

Damn.

I got to pay more attention.

Yeah, so all in all, it was frustrating.

Like, I wasn't enjoying it.

What did you think of Whitney's rebrand party?

Tacky.

Stop.

Seriously.

Don't ask me that.

I actually went to her.

I went to her Instagram for

Wild Rose Beauty.

And it looks like

it looks like she has products.

And there was something that said sold out.

And it looks like she's, you know, it's in business.

So that's good.

At least she timed up the launch with the episodes.

Yes, that's true.

That's really like all you can ask from a reality TV brand.

Which is like apparently asking a lot.

Yeah, I really do hope that it's successful for her, even though she's another one who like thinks that she's selling merch.

You know, I like my friends.

Like I like my skincare.

Ooh, that was dark, toxic-free, and cruelty-free.

Yeah, yeah.

Terrible.

No, I'm sure we'll be seeing t-shirts soon, though.

Literally, literally.

But yeah, so everyone else, it's like, I agree, like I'm, I agree with them 25% pretty much.

And then, and you know what?

I was really with Meredith until she was like defending Mary.

And I know she's like, she's like latching onto Mary for some reason.

I think it's like the only person that she can relate to right now, but she's latching onto Mary at a terrible time, and Mary's like bringing her down with her.

That's her one mistake she's made.

Yeah, agreed, which is why I can't agree with anyone 100%.

Right.

So, um,

so this week we have a bunch more TV recap.

I gotta catch up on OC and Banner Prump Rules, which is on this week, and I will do that.

Yep, me too.

And

that's our show.

That is our show.

It's been great catching up.

We're so excited for the new year, and we hope that you enjoyed this episode.

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Always and forever.

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Have a great day, you guys.

Happy Monday.

Give 22 a good kick in the ass.

Have a great day.

Bye.

Try and be as positive as Claudia for the whole day.

Let's see what happens.

Bye.