S4 Ep151: New Jacey: Tuesday, August 24th, 2021

Good morning millennials.

Welcome back to the Morning Toast.

Happy Tuesday.

Hey Jax, how you dern?

I'm dern good on this Tuesday.

Not as good as I was dern yesterday because brew dadoo isn't here and it was just so special.

All day yesterday I was just riding this high of you know brew in the studio.

Relishing in all the positive energy.

Yeah and just like really feeling proud of my boy, you know.

So today we have no brew, no do.

That's surprising.

Mom's busy.

Mom's busy.

Okay.

Oh, yeah, you're going places after this.

So we miss our boys, really.

Weed and boys, and we making noise.

Yeah.

So other than that, I'm doing really well.

Yesterday was a very busy but productive day for moi

and can't complain.

Me neither.

I mean, I could, but I won't.

I mean, I could because it's still like it's a scorcher again.

So I'm wearing shorts, but it's freezing in the studio, so I'm wearing a blanket, so I look like a schlub.

Like, you just can't win in August.

You can't.

There's no winning in August.

Except the song August.

That's the only saving grace.

Have you even listened to it in August?

Of course.

I just even feel like it's not even in the vibe.

By the way, I totally listened to the first go-around of Reverie yesterday because Margot texted me.

I don't know if she listened to the toast because she definitely didn't, but she was like, I'm begging you.

Like, you need to sit with this album.

And I'm like, okay.

So I was reading a book and I put it on the background and I honestly missed the whole thing because I was like in the book, you know?

Yeah, no.

Reading and listening to music sounds like a good idea, but it's really not.

Unless it's an album you've already lived with.

Like honestly, I think Evermore is the perfect reading album to listen to.

Yeah, but it just gets

lines get crossed, you know?

So I finished People We Meet on Vacation yesterday, and like you really didn't like it.

So I was like, I know I'm not going to like it because we have very similar tastes and you're always recommending books to me.

And I actually like enjoyed it.

It was fine.

It was like nothing crazy.

It wasn't great.

I don't think I'll continue taking book recommendations from TikTok because people like were hyping this book up like it was the last book on earth.

And even though it was really sweet and there were moments I laughed and I was involved, I couldn't tell you what the point of the book was.

Like literally, it was just like a love, like it, I don't want to spoil it, but like literally nothing happened.

Yeah.

And so it was really long and I was like, okay, waiting for the twist or waiting for something to happen.

And there's this whole thing like, we don't talk about what happened on our trip in Croatia.

We don't talk about what happened.

And then at the end, you find out what happened on their trip in Croatia.

And you really feel like you wasted six hours of your life.

Like you're like, this is what it's about.

Still unclear why the book is called People We Meet on Vacation.

Irrelevant to the subject matter.

Somebody told me that the column she writes at her magazine is called People We Meet on Vacation.

And if that's true, I missed that whole fact.

And they missed that.

Yeah.

So I don't really...

Like, I just can't tell you why the point of the book is.

You're like, the book wasn't that bad.

I kind of enjoyed it.

I laughed here and there.

And I'm like, I really didn't like the book.

I wouldn't recommend it, blah, blah, blah.

But we both gave it a rating.

No, we both gave it the same rating, which is a three.

Yeah, I gave it a three.

I rated a three and you rated a three.

So like, we just, I guess, our rating scales mean different things.

Yeah, because if something's really bad, you're gonna give it a three.

Well, yeah, this is my scale.

One means I didn't finish it, and I wouldn't even rate a book a one.

I wouldn't rate a book that I didn't finish.

Two means I finished this book, and it pained me every step of the way.

I really didn't want to finish it.

I just really got through it just to see what happened and didn't even make up for the time I spent on it.

Rarely happens.

Three,

not great, not bad.

I read the book, had moments of enjoyment, but not great.

Four, really, really good.

Enjoyed my time with this book.

Five, will be telling all of my friends and family, everyone has to read this book.

I never wanted it to end.

Good times.

I mean, so mine is not that similar.

I don't have ones or twos either because, like, there are plenty of books.

We were liars.

I started that probably would have been one, but I didn't finish it, so I don't grade it.

So I really start with three, and I don't have many threes.

Threes is like this book sucks, but it was finishable.

Yeah.

Finishable.

So now that I think about it, it's like one, very bad.

Two, bad.

Three, meh.

Four, good.

Five, very good.

Okay, so for me,

three is like not great, but finishable.

Four is

like so, so, so, so good, but like not like missing one little thing, you know, because then when I compare it to my five-star books, like I remember my, I feel like I've read a lot of four-star books and I don't even remember them.

They were just like fun times.

But then there are books that stick with you forever, like Evelyn Hugo,

Luckiest Girl, Luckiest Girl Alive, if

We Were the One, what's it called?

If before we were strangers, no, Colleen Huber, it ends with us.

So there's a few that like stick with you forever, and those are the five stars.

But for the most part, like the books I read and I like are fours.

Yeah, same.

Okay, so we have the pretty much the same scale.

So I just feel like nobody really needs to read

people we meet on vacation.

People we meet on vacation.

Because first of all, she didn't meet anyone on vacation.

Like, can't stress that enough.

Literally the opposite of that.

Nope, they met in college.

And two,

it was just really long and pointless.

But it was like a, I liked her writing style.

See, do you read Beach Read by the same author?

No, but I've heard that I need to, but now I'm feeling discouraged.

It's good.

Okay.

And it's so much better.

I read it last summer.

I really liked it, which is why I even read People We Mean on Vacation.

Okay.

Which I feel like, which is why people loved Beach Read.

People We Mean on Vacation was like very, you know, highly anticipated.

Yeah.

I feel like it's the same thing for Malibu Rising.

No, because Taylor Jenkins Reed is like...

has this whole world going on that she's like built.

Sorry.

Did she write Daisy Jones?

Yeah.

Hated that book.

Oh, I liked it, but I understand why you didn't.

So that's the Book News.

That's the Book News.

I'm still reading my book, Rolls of Civility, which I'm really enjoying.

And I wanted to recommend another book to you.

Oh, but also we have to talk about the Morgan Library.

The Morgan Library.

I got a DM from them, too.

Oh, my God.

They reached out to me, and I guess Claudia, too, like saying if we wanted to come, come through.

Like, they'd love to set up like a tour.

We've got to go.

They didn't say like anything about a tour to me.

My message was a little longer than yours.

Oh, interesting.

What were they offering?

I didn't read it because I just saw it.

I don't know if we get to touch the Morgan Ladders.

No, Somila didn't allow it.

No, no, no.

I think that's forbidden.

No, but I would love, you know, a private tour.

But we should definitely go.

Totally.

Okay, cool.

We'll send it.

Look at the photos.

I'm so like, every time I get a DM from someone or something, it's so exciting.

No, no, no.

That's like just like, oh my God, I'm so excited.

I screenshot it.

I send it to my family.

And then I forget to respond.

Totally.

Every single time.

Totally.

Every single time.

I haven't responded to the Morgan Library, even though, like, why wouldn't I?

Not the Morgan Library.

Not the Morgan Ladders.

Oh, that sucks.

Okay, yeah, we need to respond.

But the other thing I wanted to say, the Morgan Library.

Oh, did you watch Bachelor and Paradise?

I did.

I didn't.

And I just feel so, even reading that not great book was better than watching that show.

So I watched it.

I didn't mind last night's episode, but at the end of the episode, it became clear to me that it's perhaps going to be my, that was my last episode that I watched.

I'll give a little review.

And actually, the drama of the episode, like, it was actually pretty

dramatic.

There was some tea and shit.

But then, like, that was buttoned up.

My favorite person went home.

And next week's up, I mean, sorry, tonight's episode.

Again?

Yeah, it's Monday and Tuesday.

Tonight's episode, like the, it looks like drama.

The boys are like fighting.

He's running through the sand.

I, there was not one element of like tomorrow night that looked interesting to me at all.

So I

and also, also, I mean, I'll wait till the recap it as a rose ceremony.

There was only one person who it was like unclear who his rose was going to go to.

Everyone else like looks like they're about to get engaged.

Wow.

So I just feel like it's all kind of done.

Totally.

You know what I mean?

And like new guys are coming in and there's going to be drama because like if someone invites you on a date, even if you're vibing with someone else, like you go on that date.

And if it's like a beautiful sunset horseback riding moment, like you kiss on that date and it's not a big deal.

Then you go home and you, if you like the other person better, then you go back to your person.

So I just feel like everybody's going to wind up with the same people.

I swear all these people are going to get engaged.

Fabulous.

Yeah.

So I just like felt like the show is over.

Well, you'll have to explain to me like what happened because I just I couldn't do it.

I will explain to you what happened because I think you'll actually be interested in this particular drama.

And that'll be in the TV recap segment.

Yes, but I guess without further ado, to do to do, where are you not here?

As we discussed very tragically, actually, that neither Dew nor Brew could attend today.

Moment of silence for the ooze.

Just move on with the show.

I can't because once I start thinking about these precious men.

All right, then I'll do it.

Okay.

Here are the fast five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a a bite out of your morning toast.

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Okay, first story.

Some exciting music news.

Casey Musgraves announces her new album and film, Star-Crossed.

She shared her new song as well as a little trailer for the album, Visual Album, Star Crossed.

It's like a movie.

It's like, no, it seemed like different music videos for different songs.

It said album and film.

I don't know.

I don't know what it is.

I don't know what it is, but average fashion blogger is in it.

And that just made my day.

And the girl we were literally talking about yesterday from Hacks, the assistant, Meg Salter.

Salter, I think her name is.

Oh, oh, the assistant.

Okay.

Not the girl.

No, not the girl.

Okay, because I'm not.

You know, like Ava was her name, right?

Yeah.

No, the assistant who we were just talking about.

Oh, amazing.

I told you, she's like an internet thing.

Got it.

I didn't even see her because I was just like so happy for Corny.

Me too.

Also, we need to talk about the song.

Yeah.

The visuals that we're seeing and then of course like the corny of it all let's start positive okay the visuals are stunning she has a very unique aesthetic it's very dime store cowgirl rhinestone cowboy like it's it's so unique and it's so her and i really trust her vision when it comes to like aesthetics and outfits and it's the church and the rodeo like it's great but i did listen to the song me too star-crossed and it's

not my vibe okay i like the song i obviously it's not a bop i do think it's like the perfect and it's also like not very long.

It feels like sort of a prelude to the album.

So I feel like, and it's very even specific.

Like yesterday I signed the papers.

I gave you your name back.

You moved out of the house.

It's like, you know, there's no having to read between the lines here.

And I feel like she's setting us up for this era.

I feel like it's more so like

maybe like an educational briefer than like I'm listening to this on the radio even though I found it to be like a very beautiful song but it again like not a bop It's not gonna be like blasting through your squeakers, but I just felt it was, it felt like a prelude to an album.

Yeah, I guess the thing for me is that I take a lot of pride in being like a day one Casey Musgrave stan.

And I know in this family, we have, you know, we

disagree about like who invented, but like I know for 100% fact, like I invented Casey Musgraves in this family.

And I feel very protective over her.

And I think the reason why I initially connected with her was obviously I love country music and she had her own spin on country and it was so

like every lyric was so poignant, and it was just so great and so different, and so like never been done.

And then, with her most recent album, it really wasn't even that country, but it was, I was so on board with it, and I loved it.

And I just feel like she's just getting further and further away from that initial thing that I loved about her.

And of course, she doesn't have to stay that because of me, and people evolve and her styles evolve.

But I just was really drawn to that.

And this just is so different that I'm struggling.

Yeah, she's definitely leaning more into

the the alternative space.

Yeah, because that, and I think that's really who she is.

She's also a dime store cowgirl, and so sh that will always be like a part of her and her music.

But she's kind of every with every album, she's like modernizing more and more.

I think she has a great sound no matter what she's doing.

And I just I think she's so talented that it's just interesting to see what she wants to do next.

You know, I understand.

She's a vision.

I recognize like it's not same trailer, different park.

Like, no, it's not.

Those days are over.

No, and her first three albums were literally like just extensions of one another like same trailer different park which was so beautiful then um pageant material and then she'd made a christmas album right so maybe it was just the first two albums that were like very much a continuation of one another like any of the songs were really like interchangeable um and i just loved that sound and i feel like i evolved with her through golden hour and golden hour is a

miracle.

It's so stunning.

So I do trust her vision.

I'm sure I'll end up liking it, it, but it just feels like a lot of change.

And you know me, I'm a creature of habit.

Like, I, it's hard.

I understand.

It doesn't feel like that much change.

It feels like a natural next step.

But if you're waiting for Dime Store Cowergirl, yeah, I could imagine how it's like

very stark.

I think for like, no, I'm not saying that this is you, but like for bandwagon people who learned about Casey from Golden Hour, I'm not saying, I'm not saying this is you.

Okay.

Like, for people who learned about Casey through Golden Hour because it was so successful and then it won Album of the Year, and she just like became so famous in that time.

This probably feels like, you know, of course, but they don't know the reality.

But then how would you explain my POV?

I've been there since.

You're an open-minded person.

Thank you.

I'm admittedly not.

Like I'm, if something changed, like I've actually only recently discovered that I am the definition of a creature of habit.

Like I order the same thing in for dinner every night.

I have the same like four meals in rotation.

I really never cut my hair or do anything crazy.

I use the same makeup every day.

I wear the same, like I really am.

Very change averse.

And I think that applies to my music as well.

I'm learning so much about myself.

Understood.

Well, if you think about it from Casey's point of view, she put out Dimes for Cowgirl pageant material.

I'm sure she put her heart and soul into those albums, like her nana's voicemails on it and everything.

Literally.

And like it was just pretty much wholly ignored.

And then she puts out Golden Hour and is like, has this new sound, this new vibe, and it's the talk toast of the town.

So like, why wouldn't she do that again?

Because it's just, you know what?

It's this culture of people pretending like country music isn't good.

And I'm so sick of it.

And you know what?

If you are a Casey Stan and you don't know songs from same trailer, different park or pageant material, you, my friend, are fraudulent.

Yeah, that's right.

Fraudulent.

And I implore you to go do some research, okay?

Educate yourself.

Do better.

Okay, well,

this is what we have.

I'm excited.

I don't want to be negative.

I'm embracing it.

I'm just, I'm having a hard time with change.

I know, but like, what...

In what world did you expect what was coming next to sound like the first album?

No, I knew.

We knew it was going to be more golden than golden hour.

100%.

I knew that.

I knew knew that.

And, you know,

I knew it.

But you're still disappointed.

I'm not disappointed at all.

I didn't like that song, but I'm not going to like every song someone releases.

Like,

it's just.

I'm an artist, okay?

I'm conflict averse.

I'm a creature of habit.

Let's talk about even more positives, which is like, obviously, the aesthetics of the video look so sickening.

Can't wait for all of that.

Average fashion blogger makes a cameo as like some sort of bridezilla, which was just such a treat for the viewers I literally screenshotted it and I sent it to you guys because she's like in this like insane like

gar like hairstyle garb and I'm like is this Courtney and you guys are like I think so I'm like no no I think it's Courtney and it is honestly okay so you go you sent that and I was like what's that from and you said new JC and I assumed

and I assumed that it was um like JC was like a tick-tock like star or something that I just totally missed or whatever and then like an hour later

an hour later i like went to listen to the new casey and watched the video and i saw her i'm like oh this bitch meant new casey i really have such i cannot type it's so bad and i think i've only recently learned it because we've been doing so much like text messaging about important things like ever since we launched spritz which by the way code toast is 20% off and today's the last day because then tomorrow it goes to 10% for like the rest of our lives.

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Second to last weekend of summer.

They'll ship really fast.

Yeah.

So what I was saying was like we've been texting so much in all these group chats with our agencies and like I've been realizing like the way you type is not okay.

Like with you guys, I'm always just like asterisk, asterisk.

You know, like Claudia sends a text and then we're like, and now for the English version,

I cannot type and I've been doing diction a lot, but also like she fucks with me too.

Like, so I actually didn't even realize I said JC.

Yeah, and I didn't even question it.

I was like, oh, I'm just old, and Jaycey's like this new popping person on TikTok.

It's working

average fashion blogger.

And then I was ready to watch a video for myself, and I was like, oh, new Casey.

Yes, sorry about that.

That's totally my fault.

Because, like, that's why I didn't have a reaction in the chat because I was like, I guess I just don't know Jay-Z.

Oh, my God.

That's true.

But I'm happy for Courtney Regional.

Me too, too.

By the way, she's so funny.

I just like love when people who are nice and talented, like, get what they deserve.

100%.

She's so the the real deal.

She's up.

If you don't, if you're the one person out there who doesn't follow her, like, treat yourself.

Treat yourself.

She's just so hysterical, and I'm so happy.

And I'm excited to see her work.

Me too.

And it's on Paramount Plus, which is so interesting because I thought Casey was an Amazon Prime video girl, you know, with the whole Christmas special.

Paramount Plus?

Yeah.

Is it out yet?

September 10th.

Oh, my God.

Really confused.

So she's like, really making a movie?

Yes.

I'm so confused.

Me too.

Sure.

I'll watch it.

Yeah.

She really does have like an amazing eye.

Her Christmas special was so gorgeous.

And that was totally like her POV.

Like it was like a kaleidoscope of Casey Musgrave.

So I trust her.

Yeah.

No, I totally agree.

Okay.

Are you ready to switch gears a little bit to some new couple news?

Channing Tatum and Zoe Kravitz have been spotted around NYC on another one of his bicycles.

How weird is this?

Like, so random, but like they even...

popping up a lot this week.

Just like, I guess it's like, you know, when you out with someone once and you just like can't stop seeing them and you just want to to see him every day and ride his bicycle.

Um, and they're like having a nice coffee and laughing and just being pretty fabulous.

And so at first I was like, okay.

And now I'm like, oh, okay.

Yeah.

Oh, that's literally a TikTok sound.

Really?

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

You've got to get on TikTok, Jackie.

Like, it's killing me.

Like, we are so simpatico.

And this is like the one thing we, like, you don't know what I'm saying any of the times.

Okay.

Also, I don't know if any of you who don't have TikTok have experiences, but now when people send me TikToks over text, I can't even watch them in Safari anymore.

They changed it.

It's like a little bar and I can only open it by downloading the app.

So they totally fucked me.

They fucked you.

But like literally yesterday I made the best TikTok reference and it's just like slided in on the show and you didn't even know.

You know, it was good.

I like the beat.

Like you don't even know what I'm saying and it's so frustrating.

Here's the thing.

Like.

The thing is.

The thing is, I deleted TikTok a while ago and now it's like I already feel like I spend too much time on my phone.

If I download TikTok, that's adding at least two hours of screen time to my average screen time.

It's so worth it though.

It's not.

It's just like, I think it's healthiest for me to not be on TikTok.

We'll reevaluate.

Okay.

I just, it would be so much screen time.

It's so exciting.

And sometimes I'm on my phone like and I feel like I'm using my phone too much and I have nothing to even do.

So I'm like, put it down, bitch.

But if I had something to do, like, I wouldn't put it down.

Yeah, but like, you're the queen, like, sending around reels.

And I just want to let you know, like, for our brand, you can't be doing that.

Who do I send reels to?

Me?

You literally sent me like three yesterday.

What are you referring to?

I only send reels when it's like cute cavaliers.

You send plenty of reels.

I just want to let you know.

It doesn't feel like that to me.

What was the story?

Oh, chen.

So I just have to say, Zoe.

I know that you were like a really big fan of him and Jesse J, and I agree.

And so like, while I am mourning this couple,

and I do think that this couple's super cute, I kind of feel like Zoe Kravitz is like a little too good for him.

Yeah, no, she is.

He's like turning into a loser.

First of all, he's, not to make this about age, he's 41, like, which I didn't know.

And she's 32.

That's not a good one.

No, no, it's, but, like, he's like, and he's just, like, so,

like, corny.

Like, the magic mic and like, he's, like, tacky.

And she's.

I don't know.

Like, cheesy.

Cheesy, yes.

But I love him.

And like, she is race, Medgella.

She is, like, the coolest girl in the world.

Yeah.

But, you know, but that's also kind of what makes six cute.

And like the fact that like, I don't know what he usually dresses like in his personal life, but he's clearly like trying to be cool.

To be cool, it's like extremely sweet.

And so that's why at first I was like, oh no.

But now I'm like, oh no.

I don't know.

I'm just feeling like my perception of Channing Tatum is.

constantly evolving and like I really like to live in a space where Channing Tatum is still like 19 and she's the man and like that's my nothing but respect for my Channing Tatum.

Yeah.

Um, but then he moved into this like step-up, like Jenna Dewan phase, and he was totally irrelevant to me.

Like, I never watched those movies, and like, I just find, I found his dancing to be cringy, like, I did, I'm sorry.

And then they were like the dancing couple, and it was just like, I, I didn't really associate with them at all.

And then when they broke up, I'm like, ooh, hot man's on the market.

And like, the Jesse J of it all really was like a wonderful pairing.

And now I just feel like he's kind of social climbing his way like back to the top because he is like irrelevant.

Yeah, but he's also really successful.

Like,

think of like 21 Drum Street and 22, you know?

Yeah.

Like, he's also really funny.

And so, I could just see him like at Thanksgiving with Zoe and Jason, Mamoa, and Mamma.

And Mamma and Lenny.

And, like, I really like that for him.

Like, he deserves happiness too.

Yeah.

And, like, Jenna Duan has moved on every way.

Yeah.

And so, like, I'm, I'm happy to see, I don't think he's social climbing because

I don't think that would work for him if this were not genuine.

But I think there's a genuine connection.

Like, he's making her laugh.

No, me too.

I just feel like, come on, Zoe, like, we can do better.

No, but like, the heart wants what it wants.

And the heart wants magic money.

And also, like, I just don't feel like Chatting Tatum should have to be such a hard sell for us.

Like, he's, at one point in his life, like a heart frog.

Yeah, no, that's true.

That's true.

And he does have a lot of success.

So it's not like, so maybe he's not where he was, but like, you know, he's.

He's got assets.

It's just crazy because, like, for me, like, Zoe Kravitz is one, like, one of, if not the most eligible women in Hollywood.

Like she's so cool.

Her family's so cool.

She's stunning.

She's like on every magazine.

Like,

and like,

I don't know.

It just, it's an interesting pairing.

That's what I'll say.

It is.

And I officially ship.

Wow.

Doesn't take a lot for you.

No, but doesn't.

I just, I love to see, you know, love.

And I love, I,

I just like to see new couples.

I just like to say, I'm just being negative.

Like, I do like them.

I just think it's interesting.

Yeah.

No way.

i'm not building a ship not yet okay i'm gonna build like a little ship you know i don't know if this is a story because it's like i feel like no one cares but irena shake and kanye like broke up officially oh i i didn't like i thought that already happened i thought that already happened too but our next story is about kanye so you revealing drake's address no it's about him rebuilding his childhood home for the donde listening party

The rapper is rebuilding his childhood home in the middle of Chicago Soldier Field, where he'll be playing his forthcoming album on Thursday, according to online photos snapped from Inside the Stadium.

He wiped his entire account over the weekend on Instagram and began uploading photos having only to do with Donda and kicked off with a photo of the home he once shared with his beloved late mother, who the album is named after.

That's really cute.

Really cute.

So we're moving towards a Donda release date.

Well, I guess we're doing another Donda listening party at a different stadium.

I wonder if he'll sleep there as well.

Yeah.

And then, who knows?

Who knows?

Well, the other thing I wanted to say was: like, so there's been this like weird Drake Kanye fight for a while.

But Kanye posted on Instagram like a map of a, it's like, you know how you can look through your phone and see where you took a photo?

Yeah.

And he had a photo of him playing basketball at Drake's house.

And it's like the map literally showing people where Drake's house is.

And everyone's like, you leaked his address.

But celebrity addresses like are public information.

So I don't know if it's like that big of a deal.

I don't know if Drake has to move.

But everyone's now wondering if like now this is a reignited feud because they've been pretty quiet for a while.

Got it.

But then I saw something that was like.

Drake laughing.

Drake laughing because it wasn't even his address or something.

Well, he just put up an Instagram story and responds to it.

Like he was in the back of like a Rolls Order, just like laughing into his camera.

He did look like a freak.

I hate when people do that.

Like.

So I don't know what that means.

I didn't get like a translation.

So either he's like okay with it or like he's oh crazy Kanye again.

I don't know.

Yeah.

I don't know either, but all it just like makes me think about is the fact that like

do you love me?

How you riding?

Say you never ever leave.

I'm besiding.

Because I want you.

And I need you.

And I'm down for you.

And what was so crazy is like the whole world was singing that song.

It's just like Kiki.

No one was singing anything.

No one was singing anything.

And then the rumors started circulating that like Kiki is about Kim.

No, and then Kanye made that video, like, Drake, how would you feel if I made a song, Re-Re, Do You Love Me?

And I was like, oh my God, this is about Kikes.

This is about Aunt Kim.

And Keeks.

Like, which is crazy.

But is it?

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

And then there was like a song lyric about making two rice.

And that's how you got from Drake's house to Kanye's house and to Kim's house in Hollywood Hills.

Yeah.

So like that was just, that sort of lives in my mind right afraid.

Me too.

And there's so much ambiguity about this feud.

There are certain feuds like I could tell you, you know, the origin.

And this is just, I feel like a deep-rooted.

It also has to do with the fact that like Drake had a baby and like nobody knew about it.

And Kanye told everyone.

Some shit like that.

that.

Yeah, there's a lot of, I think there's a lot we don't know, so we can't.

History.

So without all the facts, I just can't.

And you know how much it pains us to talk about things when we don't have full context here at the Morning Toast.

It really, really does.

So it's actually a policy of ours.

We won't do it.

Are you ready for our next story, which is a little health news?

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Our next story is a little health news.

Apparently, eating one hot dog takes 30 minutes off of your life, a study suggests.

You're kidding!

Researchers released a nutritional index this week aiming to inform guidelines and help Americans achieve healthier and more

environmentally stable diets.

The index ranked foods by minutes gained or lost off healthy life per serving, with processed meats and sugary drinks among the biggest offenders.

What's a sugary drink?

Not like a Diet Coke, right?

A soda.

But I'm sure.

There's no sugar in Diet Coke.

No, no.

Right, but there's fake sugar, which I'm sure poses a different issue.

Yeah, aspartame.

Yeah.

Findings included over 5,000 foods in the U.S.

diet classified by health burden and environmental impacts.

We use the results to inform marginal dietary substitutions, which are realistic and feasible.

We find that small, targeted food-level substitutions can achieve compelling nutritional benefits and environmental impact reductions.

I just want to say.

Sugary drinks, hot dogs, burgers, and breakfast sandwiches were linked with the most minutes of healthy life lost.

Okay, I just want to say, like.

Whereas fruit,

non-starchy and mixed vegetables, ready-to-eat cereals, and cooked grains were associated with the largest gains.

Cereal?

For every hot dog you eat, you have a piece of fruit, you balance out your lifespan.

I just want to say, like, finally, being a picky eater works to my benefit.

I've never eaten a hot dog in my life, never even taken a bite of one.

Oh, you've missed out.

They're disgusting looking.

I'll have a burger maybe once a year, really.

Like, I don't really have a lot of burgers.

Never had a breakfast sandwich in my life.

Yeah, never.

And what was the other one?

The other one was

sugary drinks.

Okay, they got me there.

But like, what's considered a sugary drink?

Like, I like Gatorade.

Is that sugary?

Yeah, for sure.

But you don't like it, it's not like that's part of your daily routine.

No, no, not part of my daily routine, but like drinking Diet Coke and Diet Pepsi is.

They didn't specify on diet.

I don't think that has to do with sugary drinks because it's technically zero sugar.

So basically, what you're saying is that I live a healthy lifestyle?

According to this

study,

also foods like salted peanuts, baked salmon, and rice with with beans were also associated with gains between 10 and 15 minutes of life.

Literally, I have salmon and rice for every meal.

Oh my God, wait.

This is crazy.

Like, I am the healthiest person alive.

I'm going to live forever.

Oh, my God.

Stop.

Knock on wood.

No, wait.

I'm shook.

Yeah.

Salmon and rice.

Oh my god.

And I had chili last night.

I'm sorry.

I forgot to bring it to you.

I forgot.

Ben made a fucking heavenly ass chili, but you know what?

That's what I'm having for lunch.

How dare you?

How do you eat chili?

I heat it up and then I add a little cheese, sour cream.

But I'm saying you just put chili on the spoon.

Like you don't have rice.

I put chili on the spoon.

With a little sour cream and cheese, yeah.

I eat it with tostitos.

Yeah, like a dip.

I'm sure it's literally like 30 times worse for you.

Eating a chili or even like taco meat on a tostito, like a crunchy scoop.

Actually, I prefer the bite size, but you know what I'm saying.

Is so heavenly.

Like we said, healthiest person in the lunch.

No, I I just want to say, like, for all the people who like look down on me for my eating habits, jokes on you, bitch.

Because the

what organization was this?

This was

the Michigan.

The Michiganites approve of my lifestyle.

The University of Michigan School of Public Health.

Thank you, U of M S P H.

Yeah, but you know what?

This really doesn't account for like getting hit by a car.

No, of course not.

Uh like so I'm sure that's why all these things are so irrelevant like that.

They're so irrelevant.

And you know what?

I have to say.

Does it account for like terminal illnesses?

No.

No.

It's just like it I think.

In an ideal world if a person never left the house and like was in an incubator like yes.

Yes, it I think they're just trying to get people to understand like the

varying effects.

I will say a hot dog is worth the 35 minutes.

I was gonna say now that you know this information like will you think twice before picking picking up a hot dog?

I know you love hot dogs.

No, no, for every hot dog I have, I'll have a piece of fruit.

And you hate fruit.

I've been getting more into fruit recently.

Really?

I haven't because of Pritikin, like, they are so fruit-tastic.

They're fruity.

So it made me have like a new appreciation for fruit.

And especially in the summer, I've been having some oranges and they're quite delectable.

I just have to say, like, fruit in the summer.

When I was in the Hamptons, I was sitting outside eating cherries.

And I really thought, like, I could go on a diet.

Like, it's so,

I don't know what's the right word.

It's like refreshing.

It's so refreshing.

It's like, it's like eating water almost.

Like, it's so hydrating.

You just get these like bursts of flavor.

And when I was in Florida, like, we would order fruit plate and they have the best, freshest produce in Florida.

And like, it was heavenly.

No, I honestly think that like fruit should exclusively be eaten on vacation or

in the summer.

Yeah.

So I am definitely changing my ways and my thoughts and feelings about fruit.

I've been enjoying an apple here and there.

An apple a day?

Keeps the doctor away.

So you want to keep Dr.

Fichamin nice and close.

Yeah, so I don't eat any apples.

No, but so if I want a hot dog, I'm going to pair it with rice and beans, fruit, and cereal.

Yum.

I've actually really been getting into cereal.

It's a great loophole.

I know what you think considers a bowl of cereal a snack or a meal?

I think most people consider it a meal.

I think that's insane.

Like, it's a snack.

Well, I guess, like, if it's part of a balanced breakfast, then you also have like...

A a banana, a OJ.

Yeah, so if you're just eliminating those items and you're just having that, maybe it's a snack.

I think it's how much cereal you put in the bowl.

And if you drink the milk, like, if I just want to say, like, if you drink your milk out of the cereal bowl, please never in your life address me or look me in the eyes because you and I have beef.

You have processed beef.

It's going to take 35 minutes out of your life.

And if I literally was sitting at the dining room table with Ben and he was, we were eating cereal and he started to slurp his bowl.

You would get up, pack your bags, and go.

Yeah.

So, just wanted to put that out there.

Not to be dramatic or anything.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

No, but you're about to be.

Now I am.

It is the final story.

Fucking stunning.

Wow, you never curse.

Really?

I feel like I curse.

Say it again.

Fucking stunning.

No, you only curse when you're like having a Cleveland day, which I was on the verge of having here today.

Honestly, I can't even differentiate Cleveland days from non-Cleveland days because every day for the last year and a half has been a Cleveland day.

Or it has Cleveland-like elements.

No, that would make it a positive day.

Remember when New York and Cleveland were having beef on the internet?

Were they?

Yeah, like,

um, yes, the New York, um, like the official New York account account for like the mayor or like the government or something posted like a bad day in New York is better than a great day in Cleveland.

Like,

shut up.

That's actually not true at all.

That's actually not true.

Have you been to Cleveland?

And then like delightful.

Cleveland came back strong.

Good.

And it was just a really crazy time.

Did you see that that monstrous animal, Cuomo, left his dog behind?

Because he officially resigned.

Yeah, I was going to say today we have a new governor today.

Oh, yeah.

I know nothing about her.

Gotta look.

It's a her, right?

Yeah.

Got it.

Gotta research.

Yeah, I don't know anything about her either.

I just know she's not Cuomo, and so that's really exciting.

Cuomo, no, Mo.

Cuomo, no, Mo.

But seriously, justice for the dog.

Like, what happened?

Justice for the dog.

Justice for the dogs.

As if, like, Cuomo's, like, public approval rating couldn't go down more.

like the dogs, really, like

sick, disgusting, twisted.

You also saw that story I sent you about the dogs in Australia.

I really don't want to talk about it.

Okay, but if you guys don't know what I'm talking about, just Google Australia Dogs.

Trigger alert.

It's not been a good week for the dogs.

Trigger warning.

Seriously, it's a really fucking sad, like, horrible, horrific story.

So, but I won't talk about it.

Okay.

Are we ready for our fifth and final story?

Oh,

it's the final story.

Yeah, Brad.

I love that fucker.

Okay.

Finally, for the motherfucking final story.

Jesus Christ.

Instagram is retiring the swipe up.

Instead, we will have link stickers starting August 30th.

The swipe up will be no more.

Instagram is planning to retire the feature, which allows people to visit external websites by swiping up.

Instead, you will get a swipe up.

I'm sorry, a link-click sticker, just like, you know, a white box.

Yeah, when you're like shopping, you can like tap the product.

There'll be tappable stickers and stories that take people to external websites.

They think it'll, you know, streamline the creative process.

And more so, which I read at the bottom of the article, it's like, when you have a swipe up on your story people can't respond to it okay so so the stickers would solve that and i think but like i mean i have my responses off regardless and i just i don't think every story requires a response no so that's the thing so a lot of people here like

this is literally an update nobody fucking asked for like there's so many other things we want on instagram if it's not broke like why are we fixing it it seems so random and i guess like the only the only issue people have with the swipe ups is that usually if you want to respond to someone's messages you literally swipe up and and the message thing comes up.

But if there's a link, there's no way to do that.

And I just feel like we could have solved this very, very small, irrelevant problem that doesn't really affect a lot of people in a different way.

Like, I think that the swipe ups are great.

I don't know if this button, I've been like reading like what people think about it, like their reactions on social media.

And people either think it's going to like skyrocket engagement or completely deplete it.

And a lot of people's businesses like rely on those swipe up links.

Yeah.

I honestly don't think it will like make that much of a difference.

And I'm sure eventually it'll be like, oh, I I can't believe we ever said swipe up Yeah but it's just crazy how like swipe up has become such a part of the jargon So if you're making a video now and you still have and you have you don't have swipe ups, but you have the sticker What are you gonna say like tap through or people are probably still gonna say swipe up People are probably still gonna say swipe up for a while like yeah, but it's just gonna be like tap the link tap the link in my story.

I like hate that.

Yeah, swipe up was just like fun and funny and cute.

Yeah

So end of an era for swipe ups.

And it just seems like so random.

Like I just feel like every day we come on here and we talk about like features on Instagram that we wish we were better.

Like we're always talking about that.

And then they just come out with this like, what?

Yeah.

Like nobody wants complaining about this whatsoever.

No.

I'm sure it's like for their internal purposes of like engagement and keeping people addicted to their app.

Like

there's something beneficial here.

But Instagram like really is slowly driving away like creators.

Like because I know a lot of creators who are like younger are just like getting,

growing so much faster on like TikTok and making so much more money from the creator fund.

And Instagram announced like a couple weeks ago that they were like dedicating a billion dollars to creator funds, like paying creators.

But it's not the same way that like TikTok and YouTube does it.

It's not through ads.

It's like go live and get a badge.

It's like a game.

It's like silly.

Like they're really not investing in creators.

And I just feel like a lot of the young people who want to become like famous on Instagram, they're going to start going to other platforms.

We shall see.

We'll see what the youths are up to.

Also, before I get into the batch drum paradise recap, I wanted wanted to just talk about because I watched Nine Perfect Strangers.

Oh, but I haven't seen it yet, and I actually will watch it.

Okay, I watched it was only the first three episodes out.

Okay.

I just want to say I am so glad I didn't read the book because I'm enjoying the show and I usually don't enjoy both.

And I, people were like, you should read it for your wellness retreat.

I'm so fucking glad that I didn't because obviously like this wellness retreat in Nine Perfect Strangers is spooky and like extremely nefarious and questionable.

And it would have made me so nervous to already go like to a retreat by myself where I didn't know what to expect.

And like in the in the show, like they take the the people's blood when they get there, but they did that at my retreat too.

And like, I, it was normal because they needed to like measure your health levels and stuff.

We like, we got blood work all the time.

It was actually like, you know, to see your cholesterol and your blood, right, right, right.

All this stuff.

It was like, and so if I had read the book and then I saw they were taking my blood, I would have been like, I would have left.

Totally.

So I'm really enjoying it.

You should watch it.

I'm going to go.

It's really really good.

It's a good cast and it's good.

Okay, so tell me what happened on Bachelor and Paradise.

And I just want to say, like, I think that we should do Dear Toasters tomorrow because we're doing like so well with what's going on.

There was crazy construction noises like right before we started and we were nervous.

And I just don't want to push our luck.

I feel like you tell me Bachelor and Paradise and then we'll solve.

tomorrow's problem tomorrow.

I agree.

Okay.

Okay, Bachelor and Paradise.

So like I said, like there are some really strong couples.

Demi came down the stairs yesterday and she took Brendan on a date.

Brendan had been vibing with Natasha like a lot.

And so Natasha was kind of freaking out while he was on the date like just because like Demi like came in like really hot and like you know energetic and I'm gonna steal your man to everyone.

And so she was nervous.

But then also while Brendan was gone, there started like this rumor going around about him that like he had been dating Piper.

Before she's not on the show yet.

You know, I actually heard that.

So Natasha like knows Brendan's on this date.

Oh, and he's dating Piper, like, kind of waiting for her to come, I guess.

And everyone's like, Brendan's a player, Brendan's a player.

But we haven't heard anything from Brendan.

Brendan goes on his date with Demi.

I think they have a really good time.

And then, like, she wants to, you know, talk about like where things are going to go.

And he's sort of like, I want to keep my options open.

Like, you know, this isn't it for me,

pretty much.

And she was, like, so angry and like embarrassed and she felt rejected.

And she was.

like throwing a temper tantrum the whole rest of the episode.

It was a really bad look.

I don't don't know anyone who like came off the episode like feeling favorably, more favorably towards Demi than they did the last time they saw her on the show.

It's a little like, I think, even weird that she's in paradise.

I think it is too.

What's really weird about this season is like, because it's

Matt's girls are like the new girls, and they're like, but Peter's girls are also, this is also their paradise.

I skipped a year.

But like, when you're watching the show, Peter's girls are just completely overlooked.

And it's like,

so, so for Colton's girl to show up, it's just like, oh no.

And so now I'm like, even extra worried for Becca Kufrin to come.

Like, there is nobody for her.

There's no room for her.

There's no one, there's no room for anyone before Peter's season.

Like, I swear.

Interesting.

Because, like, that's how much like this, like, this

turnover nation, like, they just want like what's hot.

The, the, the contestants within themselves.

They don't want someone's old, you know, stale 800,000 followers who are no longer engaged.

Totally.

I want your fresh 500K.

Totally.

So it's just really interesting.

And I don't think, I think Demi really came off quite terribly last night.

Wow.

Yeah.

She was just like throwing a fit the whole rest of the day and like so upset with Brendan that like he even went on the date with her.

Like, but he went to explore.

I think the really frustrating part of watching these shows is like the suspense of, no, not the suspense.

Like there's no common sense.

Like everyone's acting like we're not on an island and we haven't known each other for four days.

Like she knows she's just like mad because she played the whole thing wrong.

She came in, she wanted to go out with Brendan.

I guess he's like one of the hottest guys there.

And not only is he into someone else, like he's not into you.

And he might be into Piper.

And she made the wrong choice.

And like, that was your one date.

And the boys have the roses this week.

Like, you played yourself.

Yeah.

So she was just sort of like.

being crazy about that.

But then Brendan eventually comes back and everybody's talking about Brendan.

But it's like, what does Brendan have to say?

Like, we know Brendan from Tatia's season.

Like, Brendan is a pretty good guy.

What does Brendan have to say?

And he said, like, he had dated Pipers before the show, but out of like everyone and even with his date with with Demi, like he's feeling Natasha the most.

Oh my god, I really love Natasha.

So like he didn't lie and like that was true.

And I also feel like every single person there was like talking before the show or even dating before the show because the way that they're all so connected already, it's like we missed the falling in love part.

Okay, I completely agree.

And I feel like back in the day when we used to watch Bachelor and Paradise.

That's for Joe and Samantha.

Yes, it was like the worst thing you can do.

And now just like with social media and like how Bachelor, like the producers, they're always like bringing people together.

Like people are always doing events and then they're going on, like there's just so many opportunities that you would meet someone who would be on paradise.

So now it doesn't seem like a big deal at all.

But yes, Joe and Samantha.

Yeah, so like they want to make a big deal that like he was talking to Piper.

But it's like, I could, I feel as though some of these couples, you were talking before too, and you just got lucky that you were all first week people.

Yes.

Because everybody had the person that they were already like going for.

So Brendan and Natasha are an interesting.

So you're saying it feels like predetermined almost?

Yeah, like all these conversations already happened and like there's no room.

Like, I don't know.

It's just, yeah, it feels like everyone's been talking for now two years.

Like, they know exactly what they want.

Like, there is no, like, I'm going to talk to him and then him.

And I don't know who I like more.

Like, it's just like, I like him.

Yeah.

We're getting engaged.

What happened with grocery store Joe and Serena?

Oh, they were totally quiet this season.

This episode, nothing happened.

He gave her his rose.

Like, they're going strong.

But next week, someone comes down and takes Serena on a date.

Oh.

So Brennan and Natasha are good, and I'm so happy for them.

and it's all good there.

Then Ivan and Jesseny.

Who gives Demi a rose?

Just wait.

Ivan and Jesenya went on a one-on-one.

They got like the first official, like, of a couple one-on-one, not like someone coming down with a date card.

And like, they're, oh, they're getting engaged.

Like, they're everything of the sort.

Like, they were so fucking cute.

Like, they are going all the way.

I really believe that.

And also, like, based on the previews, I don't know why.

I feel like I remember them being together.

So,

good.

So cute.

So, there's like a lot of love happening so far already.

Like, couples that you could really feel like are getting engaged.

Like, how's Abigail and

so strong?

You didn't hear anything from them.

Like that he gave her the rose.

Kenny and Mari are going so strong.

I don't like that couple, but I like them.

He gave her the rose.

Everyone who you saw like got that rose.

And then Victoria P.

Okay.

She was the drama.

Well, she was the drama on her season too.

And she got away with actually being like sneaky light.

Yeah, but like, so she, when she came on her season, like, I think I had her picked for my top four.

Like, I thought this girl was going places.

Like,

and it's just been such a fall for Victoria P.

And last night, she fell even worse.

It was no different.

So basically, there's this guy.

His name is James.

He's from Katie's season, I think.

So we don't know him, but he seems really cute and nice, whatever.

And he's really into Victoria P and he's made that clear.

And she is like, you know, just giving him like enough to want to get his rose.

But in her confessionals, she can't remember his name.

She's like, what's his name?

Jason.

Over and over.

And even when she's talking to the other girls, she's like, oh, what's his name?

Can't remember his name.

She's literally saying in her confessionals like that she just wants a rose and that like she'll stick with James in order to get it.

Meanwhile, like he's really into her.

And then Tammy comes through.

Love Tammy.

Tammy comes through and lets us know that Victoria P has a boyfriend in Nashville, an aspiring country singer, who she is here just to like, you know, be on the show and then bring cameras back home to help her boyfriend get famous.

What?

How does Tammy know that?

Tammy, I guess, people know it.

And

Victoria P lives in Nashville, and Kelsey lives in Nashville.

And Tammy goes and

Kelsey, our girl.

Oh, our girl.

She doesn't live in Iowa anymore?

No, she moved to Nashville.

So

the night of the rose ceremony, it really feels like everything's buttoned up because everybody knows who they're going to give their roses to, except

James is probably going to give it to Victoria P, but they're the least strong couple because she literally doesn't know his name and can't fucking stand him.

So that leaves Kelsey and Demi open to go home.

Kelsey, Demi, Victoria Queen.

Oh, right.

Serena C.

Serena C made, she's from Matt James's season.

You thought she was a mean girl?

Yeah, she was.

She made a last-ditch effort to go after Tammy's man, but like, Tammy has her shit in check.

Tammy's on lock.

No, Tammy is on lock.

I was so.

Who's Tammy's man?

Tammy, I think his name is Aaron.

And she just, like, from the day she got to the beach, she's like, I like Aaron.

Now they're like,

fabulous.

And then like, Serena C went after him and like made out with him.

And I was like, oh, it's Serena C's giving Tammy a run for her money.

Tammy comes back around, literally, straddles her man, starts making out with him, like, while also going to James, like this whole evening, she's

booked and busy.

She has her man on lock, and she's also letting James like she's

spitting truths.

Spitting truths.

So she tells James about Victoria P and he's like shocked.

He spent like the last few days like totally invested in this girl, was going to give her this rose.

And like, what's the truth?

And Tammy says, Kelsey lives in Nashville too.

And like, she knows this to be true as as well.

So then Kelsey's talking to James.

And like, she's like, feels so bad to have to, like, tell him that this is what's true.

But, like, she's, she's also like, are you okay?

And I'm like, what are you doing?

Rose.

I'm like, Rose.

Rose.

I'm right on top of that.

Rose.

What about Kelsey and James?

So then James finally goes and talks to Victoria P and's like, they told me this.

Is this true?

And she's literally gaslighting the fuck out of him.

She's like, you're being so aggressive.

Like, he's literally just sitting there saying, is this true?

Like, she really thought she was doing something.

I think she realized quickly.

She was doing nothing.

So, she like tries to like talk her way around it for a while, talks to the other girls.

Like, I thought I love you guys.

How, like, you don't fucking love them.

So, we already know you're a liar if you're saying that.

And then she leaves.

She's just like, she can't, she leaves.

And in the car, she's like talking about how, like, no, like, you know, just saying like platitudes of words about how like she's,

you know, they, this drama, blah, blah, blah.

And at the end, she goes, I don't need to be here to look for something that I already have at home.

Oh, so she was lying.

So she admitted it.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

what a loser.

Beyond.

Beyond.

Like, that's so embarrassing.

Like, you got caught.

I'm crying.

Beyond losery.

So then James's rose is the only rose in contention, really.

Does he give it to Demi?

And Kelsey, you know, is being herself.

And she was just like, you know, I would like your rose.

Like,

she's just being like really cute and sweet talking to James.

And Demi is like watching her being like, Kelsey's so desperate, blah, blah, blah.

And then Demi goes and has a conversation with James and is like, you know I want your rose and he's like what tonight's gonna be a friendship rose like whoever I give it to and she's like you only want to be friends and he's like you literally didn't even know this guy before two minutes ago and then she's like are we gonna have sex

and

so

in the rose ceremony he gave his rose to Demi.

I believe it was producers who made him do so.

Yeah.

Because like she, you know, will cause drama and everything.

So Kelsey went home, Serena C went home.

Queen Victoria went home.

It was time for Queen Victoria and it was time for Serena C, but like yet again, like Kelsey, I feel like she's this great girl who gets overlooked on these shows just because she's not like annoying and thirsty and like, can I play for a chat?

Like,

but the thing is, is that I really can't watch a show.

And honestly, I think it has a lot to do with Demi.

Like, first of all, she had this like storybook ending on her time on Bachelor in Paradise.

It was this national story.

It was this like finally great moment for Bachelor Nation.

And like, I do think that like she was, I don't know where I heard this once, but it's so funny.

And it's the best way to describe it.

Like, someone told Demi Burnett she was America's sweetheart, and she believed it.

And, like, now she is just like on this, I think she thinks she's too good for all these people, and like, walking in, like, oh, you don't want to date me?

I'm America's sweetheart.

That's literally, she might as well have said that.

And she has that attitude on social media, too.

And then, I do think a couple months ago, there's like she was knocked the fuck down with her old tweets, which I do think, like, was a humbling moment for her.

But I just, I don't like vibe with her at all.

Like, I was very much on board for like the Demi of it all when she opened up on her season and then on Bachelor in Paradise about her mom being in prison and then struggles with her sexuality.

And I thought those were all great conversations to have.

And now she's just striking me as annoying.

Beyond.

And the way she came in was reminding me of that time the Fergie twins came on in their second season.

They did their Bachelor in Paradise season where they skated by like for a whole year because if you gave one twin a rose, you got them both and they were just like friends with everyone.

And then they came back the next year towards the end and like were so disgusting towards everyone.

Better than ever.

And that was the energy that Demi was giving me.

And it's like

to this group of people, she's pretty irrelevant.

And like, she's old.

And she was like,

and I don't even know the ages comparatively, but yeah, she's old news.

Like, she's next season, right?

No, she's Colton season.

She had her time.

She had her time.

She was like asking Brendan, like, what's your story?

You're from Tisha Season.

I didn't watch.

Like,

sure.

So, how do you know it's from Tisha Season?

Well, like,

maybe he's like, I don't know.

No, she's just too, she's too cool.

too cool to know you.

And so, like, now she lives to another two weeks because next week the girls have the rose.

And, like,

I don't, I really don't know if I'll be watching, honestly.

I don't know.

You really sold it.

Like, I'm hooked.

Because last night's episode was good, but then, like, of course, like the one I don't watch.

But then all these couples, like, look locked and loaded.

And I mean, it does look like tonight, and it's interesting because, like, there was ten roses.

So nine couples are, like,

steadfast.

Steadfast.

So it's, like, whoever comes down next week, whichever girls like turn their heads, were like the ones who were maybe like not so steadfast, but were showing us steadfastness.

Right, right, right.

So like that is interesting, but I also feel like, yeah, people will go and make out with other people and try and find connections, but I think they're going to kind of come back to the people that they initially.

That they initially vibe with.

I don't know.

If we learned anything from Marcus and Lacey, it's that nothing is for certain.

No, but like...

Marcus and Lacey.

That's still the craziest thing to me that ever happened on that show.

Like they were in love, got married, and then we never heard from them again, and they were never even really married.

Yeah, no, that's not what's so crazy to me.

But if you remember the way that they got together, Roberto.

Robert Graham.

Oh, it was Robert Graham.

I think so.

No, I don't think so.

I think it was.

The guy who dated Becca Chilly.

Yeah.

But that was before Becca.

But I'm pretty sure.

So, like, Lacey, it was week one.

Lacey was like Lacey and Robert.

Mm-hmm.

And Marcus really liked Lacey.

And the producers let him give his rose before Robert.

And he gave it to Lacey, which was like so fucking random.

Yeah.

And the rest is history.

And they were so cute.

Even though they didn't work out and he's married to someone else.

And so is she.

I consider it what I saw on TV, like that was a love story.

Like, goodbye.

And they got married at the

next season.

Like, and then it turns out they were never married.

No, but like, I don't care about what happened after the TV show.

I care about what on the comment.

100%.

No, that was a great turn of events.

Yeah.

Well, I don't know.

I'm like kind of feeling like now I want to watch.

I don't know if I'll watch China.

I'll see where I'm at, but it just sort of felt like I've seen this show.

Yeah,

I think I've seen this film before,

and I didn't like the ending.

Okay, I mean, I'm feeling really good.

It's so quiet.

Should we do Dear Toasters?

Sure.

Because you never know what tomorrow will bring.

No, totally, but like the construction outside has really quieted down.

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All right, dear toasters, our advice segment, or if you're ever feeling like you need some advice from two of your favorite gals, email us, dear toasters at gmail.com, and we will keep you anonymous.

Don't worry.

Dear Claudia and Jackie, first and foremost, I've always loved tuning into the toast, but something about these episodes in 2021 lately have me in stitches laughing.

Thank you.

My write-in isn't asking for advice, but absolutely feels like something you guys would love to unpack and maybe even help solve a mystery.

I was inspired by the Tel Aviv poop coverage to tell you this.

If you guys remember, we reported that in cities like Tel Aviv, they're testing DNA samples.

Like if you leave your poop on the street from your dog.

From your dog.

Not from you.

They'll send you a ticket.

Okay.

I went to high school in New Jersey, and our animal print-themed homecoming dance in 2011, someone pooped on the dance floor.

My school didn't have a proper auditorium.

We had a convertible cafeteria slash auditorium, the cafeterium, as we called it.

Without disclosing the name of the school or any other alumni watching or listening to this episode, they will know the history of the story from these details.

We were all on the makeshift dance floor having a grand old time and the sudden,

and all of a sudden, we had to actually evacuate the dance floor.

Evacuate the dance floor.

She had to evacuate the dance floor and have a janitor come clean up the poop on the floor.

It wasn't diarrhea or anything that would have made you think someone was sick or lost control, but it's a mystery that plagues our hometown and people still discuss it.

I wish we could have a DNA test that poop.

Do you think it was a girl in a dress or a guy who got it out of his pant?

No.

Can you offer a reward to anyone who can tell the truth about this?

Sincerely, who pooped on the floor 10 years ago?

Well, see, I didn't really understand why you were writing in until this moment.

New Jersey, we have a very big tri-state area audience.

And I was thinking about it.

It wasn't when we were the biggest podcast in New Jersey, but they haven't run that report since 2018.

We're still technically the biggest podcast in New Jersey.

Reigning queens of New Jersey.

So I just, I appreciate you putting this out there because there's nothing obviously we can do to solve it except use our platform for good and not evil.

So if you went to this high school and you obviously know this ill-fated story of the duty on the floor and you know who did it, I have to imagine it was a girl on a dress.

Neither.

I don't think it was a girl in the dress and I don't think it was through a boy's pant legs.

I think a boy pulled his pants down.

and shot on the floor.

You know what actually I'm thinking now?

Someone would have seen that.

I feel like...

I think these kids were getting hot and heavy.

I feel like it was a prank.

Or yeah, someone pooped elsewhere, brought it in.

Or it was dog poop that they like put in a bag and dropped on the floor.

Yeah, I agree.

It's a prank for sure.

Yeah.

Ew.

Okay, let's move on.

Hello.

I'm in a pickle and I'm hoping you ladies can help.

I got engaged a few weeks ago, finally, and my boyfriend did a great job with securing a photographer to take photos of the proposal.

Here's the issue.

We got the photos back and they are incredibly disappointing.

They look like my 60-year-old mother took them on an iPhone 5.

They are incredibly zoomed in, even though the background was a very beautiful beach, and there is a railing slash fence blocking the big down on the knee moment.

There also aren't any photos of the setup and the decor, the flowers, the photos of us.

I'm not sure if this person had ever photographed a proposal before, but I can't believe we have no postable photos from this.

I'm so upset, but I also feel like I can't let my fiancé know I'm disappointed because I know he did his best finding a photographer and planning it all.

Attached is the photo.

It's not good.

Any thoughts?

Should I reach out to the photographer and ask if she has any more photos?

I'm worried my fiancé will notice I'm not posting the photos or displaying them in our house.

Help.

Okay, I have a few things I want to say.

Okay.

I see this photo.

We can't post it on our Instagram because I don't want, it's not great.

I feel like you could find an editor to remove that railing.

First of all, not really.

Second of all, it is worth noting that like a lot of the pictures you see of other people's proposals on social media are reenacted.

So if you wanted to go back down there with another photographer, even just like your iPhone and like your friend who's tech savvy, wear the same outfits and like get a a bottle of champagne you could redo it it of course is worth reaching out to the woman or man and asking if they have more photos just like can you send all of the you know the drafts yeah this is really really frustrating at first I was like okay the photos aren't great but like you know what I don't like I thought I had good photos now I look back on them I'm like that's a big leg

so but now after like the way that you're describing it like I would be so incredibly frustrated definitely ask the photographer for every single picture that she took in there you should be able to find one i don't think you need to go and reenact the pictures if you want to have an engagement shoot so that you have more pictures you should go and do that because like they did capture like the moment of surprise and and what's the point in paying for a high-class photographer if you're getting blurry railing so fucking pissed like me too oh my god oh my god i i think i would even like just call and like be a little rude and and honest because but you're on the water where's the beach where's the sun no no no that's so horrible.

Like, don't, like, go.

No.

Well, congratulations.

That's really all that matters.

You got engaged.

I know, but, like,

it really bothers me.

It's very bothersome.

Ask for more photos.

Do the most with what you find the best one.

Edit some stuff out.

Add a filter.

Jackieoflo, jackieofloe.com.

Yeah.

And do an engagement shoot.

You can reenact.

Engagement shoots are great because you wear white and you have nice pictures for your wedding website and whatever other assets.

But then you can also put this dress back on, go down to the the beach and get a fake proposal for nobody to know it's fake.

Take your engagement pictures there and be totally dolled up.

By the way, my engagement photos are at the same place I got engaged and we did a fake proposal.

Yes.

Because it's just good to have more pics.

It is good to have more pics.

This is frustrating, but not the end of the world.

So like, you know, find something that you like, get it up, and then move on to the next phase of the engagement process.

Don't harp on this.

Don't get all feclemmed.

Yeah.

All right, third and final one.

Hey, Jackie and Claudia, huge fan over here.

Can't believe I finally have something to write in about after listening to y'all dole out amazing advice for months.

I'm recently dating a new guy and he's the sweetest.

We hit it off as soon as we met and have been hanging out casually dating for two-ish months.

Flashback to our first date.

He chose a restaurant.

It was great, but long story short, when the bill came, he didn't even offer to pay.

After it's out there for a minute, I suggest we split it and he didn't object.

I didn't really mind at all.

At the time, but after thinking about it, I'm a little peeved that he picked the restaurant, something more upscale than I would have chosen for the first date, and then didn't even offer to cover the bill.

Now, fast forward to us going out more regularly, regularly, going to bars with friends and ordering takeout.

If he covers anything, I'll always receive a Venmo request to split.

Or if we're at a bar, he'll say, I'll get this round and you can grab the next.

I really like this guy, and I don't see this standing in the way of pursuing something more serious, but am I wrong for thinking it's weird?

Or is this completely normal?

My friends are kind of split.

Is it old-fashioned of me to think that when you're dating someone new, that they would want to cover the little things like drinks or even the first date?

I'm adding in here that I know we can never know another person's financial situation, but I'm 100% sure he makes more money than me.

And I also know that I can pay for my own things, but it also feels good to have someone offer to buy drinks or little things here and there.

I would love an honest opinion from you guys about how to handle this, or if I should just leave it be.

Any words of wisdom would be appreciated.

I just want to say, when you were not here, I did dear toasters with Tyler Cameron, and we had a similar prompt.

And I just want you to know how offended he was.

He was like, I will pay for everything until we're 97.

It's like not even a dating phase.

So it's a guy thing and a girl thing because I'm not okay with this.

Okay, I'm not okay with this.

I just want to say, like,

there are people who would be fine with this.

Like, it's really a personal preference.

So, you're asking our personal preference.

Yes.

And we are strong, independent businesswomen who want other men to pay for our things.

Who like to be taken care of and treated sometimes, especially at the beginning of a relationship.

And it's not about how much money he does or doesn't make.

If he's taking you on a first date, take you to McDonald's if he can't swing the upscale restaurant restaurant bill button what i said with tyler city it's not about it's not about rich or poor it's about being cheap yeah and you could be very you could be hella poor and incredibly generous and you can be very rich and cheap as shit it's not about money no it's not about money and if whatever half the bill was at the upscale restaurant he could have spent that at a different restaurant so like for him to choose an upscale restaurant and then not like that is just a behavior that I find offensive personally and then also to like Venmo your partner for things that are like not, you know, like we're splitting the groceries today and we're you got the toilet paper and household items like drinks at the bar like fucking treat you like you deserve it.

I'm sorry.

I know it's like old-fashioned, I guess, but like some things, you know, it wouldn't, it would be, it wouldn't, it wouldn't kill us.

It wouldn't kill us to uphold.

No, I just want, I completely agree with you.

I'm a progressive woman, but I believe in chivalry.

And I'm sorry, like

I don't think women should pay for stuff like I'm sorry.

And especially at the beginning of the relationship.

Eventually you get to a point where it's like...

Equal partners, building a life.

I know what you make, you know what I make.

So like, I'm not, you know, it is what it is.

But in the beginning, like, you're being courted.

Yeah.

And I'm sorry, I'm sure some people are not going to agree, but that's fine.

That's fine.

You should date that guy.

Yeah.

Right.

Exactly.

There's a pot for every couple of people.

But it's like, if that bill comes and like he doesn't pick it up and that like gives you a pit a little bit, then like, then that's a problem.

And it's okay if you're.

Then that's a problem in the room.

Not with you, but like, then maybe you guys are financially incompatible.

No, and maybe you're now identifying like

that you want a guy who courts you in the beginning.

Like maybe you didn't know that because it always happened and it's like a debt you oh hypothetically, yes, but I don't know.

I just feel like you shouldn't be ashamed of the fact that you want to be courted.

I think it's very natural.

And I think like in our culture, because we're, we are striving for equality, this is like a loophole.

Like I'm striving for equality too, but like not on the first date.

No, and also I just think like as women, like we need to hold men to a higher standard.

Agreed.

The bar is so low.

The bar is so low.

And I think if we all band together and we don't pee on the toilet seat and we do insist that men pay, especially at the beginning of a relationship, like that's the bare minimum, then we're helping all women because then the next girl doesn't have to sit there with the check-in between the table being like, the fuck do I do with this?

Totally.

When you were on your first date with Zach, did you like make the move?

You know what?

I don't think

that I did.

I don't remember.

It's so long ago.

I know.

Well, four score and seven years ago.

I remember it's, it's like a thing, and it's like, you don't want to be like a girl who's like expecting it.

So you want to be nice and be like, oh, do you want to split?

But ideally, the person says no.

And then,

yeah.

I think that sometimes you want to be the person that's expecting it.

Say that again?

I'd like, you just said like you, you lean, like you lean for the wallet just to like not pretend like you're not expecting it.

But like that, if that's your expectation that the man pays for the first date, then don't lean for your wallet.

No, I guess, but like you just don't want to be like, aha, I don't know.

No, like you asked me out totally even though i like begged you to you chose this restaurant yeah yeah i think i chose it no for sure for sure like you're yeah yeah yeah i guess that is conflicting because i'm i'm of the mindset where you should like pretend to reach for your wallet but of course the guy's gonna say no now that i i talk like such a big game

i'm sure i'm sure i paid for my first date no kidding um i'm sure that i did like pretend i'm sure but you know what now that like in thinking back i just think you need to like stand firm in the things that are important to you and like, if it were today and I was going on a first date, I would not reach for my wallet.

Yeah.

I also am just like so curious how this goes in

homosexual relationships.

Like, I think that actually is a really interesting conversation.

We should all come to the card, come to the table, and show all of our cards.

Like, what are the rules?

Yeah.

But, but there are no rules because everybody's different.

Everybody expects different things

in hetero-relationships or homosexual relationships.

So, like, you have to.

I don't know why I said homosexual.

I sound like a nine-year-old gay.

You have to just

homosexual, like heterosexual.

What the fuck?

It's not a textbook.

You have to just like, you, you know, do what's comfortable.

Do what's comfortable for you.

So, I just, but I do feel like I don't like this, like, Ben Mo.

And it's because it's making you feel weird.

If you didn't care, great.

That's what you care about.

But, like, you feel weird about it.

So, like, run with that.

Like, lean into your feelings.

You're entitled to feel how you feel.

Yeah,

I agree.

But it's a thing.

It is a thing.

It is a thing.

But also, sometimes you maybe just like share your expectations and maybe he'll be like, oh, I didn't know.

Maybe my last girlfriend insisted we go Dutch.

Right.

Maybe I don't want to offend your female intelligence or whatever.

So like at least give him the chance of being like, you know, it would be nice to be taken care of sometimes.

You know,

stop answering the Venmo requests.

Yeah, block him.

If he starts like following up.

Notifications, yeah.

Then it's time to.

Yeah, but I think first, if it bothers you, but you really like this guy, try saying something.

No, I feel like you should try just like not responding to the Venmos anymore, not offering, hey, can you go get us a drink?

I know, but you know, the thing about relationships is communication.

Okay, but they're only two months in.

They don't have to communicate yet.

Okay, but you could try Claudia's Way first, and if still, like, you're getting re-notified.

You will know what this guy's deal is if you don't respond to one Venmo request and see if he'll send you a follow-up.

Yeah, you will know.

Then he's not doing it for his Duchess at all.

He's doing it because he's cheap.

Yeah.

And he, yeah.

there's nothing worse than a person who's cheap no and that's different than not how much money you have yes agreed so that's that on that that was dear toasters thank you so much to everyone who wrote in deartoasters at gmail.com if you want to write in and also deartoas at gmail.com if we have given you some sage advice and you used it or you didn't use it we want to hear what happened we'd like a follow-up email so do that follow up with us Yes, please do.

We shall see you tomorrow for hump day.

Hopefully we'll get some new brewer crew.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Morning Toast, the longest episode of all time.

Thank you so much for listening to the Morning Toast.

I'm London Morning Show, where we deliver the fast-fact stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

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We're also available as a podcast anywhere podcasts can be found.

So, at Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, IR Radio Castbox, all the places where we listen to podcasts, find us more on toast, leave a fast star view about how beautiful, stunning, and smart we are.

And if you're still here, please leave a hot dog emoji on our most recent Instagram account because, like, hot dogs are good for you.

Yeah, and don't let the CDC or something like that.

Just for hot dogs, live your life.

It just will be 35 minutes shorter.