S4 Ep147: Don't Go Chasing Butterflies: Wednesday, August 18th, 2021

Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the morning toast.

Happy Wednesday, also known here at the toast as Hump Day.

Hey, Claude, how are you doing?

Hump Day!

Hi!

Hi, how are you?

I'm a broken woman.

But not in the way that you would think.

Because, like, you know, I was out all night celebrating spritz.

And honestly, I'm not even hungover i think i sprained my ankle like i'm in so much pain i can't walk like my feet are killing me i actually can't remember the last time pre-covid where i wore heels for so many hours yeah what what happened that you think you sprained your ankle like what there was

one particular incident it was just my feet are currently bearing the brunt of carrying my big fat ass around all day all night Oh, so they're just sore, but if nothing happened, then it's just the effect of your heels.

Have you tried taking a warm bath yet?

No.

And like, I do kind of smell.

Like, I was just like, you know, drinking a lot and like dancing and like sweating with people.

I'm like, I really need to take a shower.

I just got home broken.

I understand.

When I got home, I took a very warm bath and it was so, so amazing.

Jackie, you know what?

You know how to live.

I do know how to live.

And you know, it gets better.

I think you're going to be really proud of me.

When I got home, I also ordered McDonald's.

And I got fries and a McFlurry.

And I know I want to end the story here, but unfortunately, it wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

The fries, I'm pretty sure they swept up all the fries that fell on the floor that day,

put them in a canister, and sent them my way.

A canister.

The McFlurry was like a little melty.

And I, so I had some fries.

Then I got in the bath.

I was like, I'll have my McFlurry when I get out of the bath.

And I didn't put it in the freezer because like.

You have to stand it up.

And I was like, I'm not going to take that long.

It's frozen.

I should have put it in the freezer if it was already liquid.

Because

it melted all over the place.

And then I put it in the freezer.

I didn't get a bite of the McFarry last night.

And the fries were from the floor.

So it was better in theory than it was in practice.

But still, I tried to live my life.

Okay.

Do you want to know what I ate when I got home?

What?

I was like, you know what?

Let me be good.

I'm about to go to sleep.

I'll just go to bed.

And of course, Ben goes to Walk Theo and comes back with a pie of pizza.

But I guess like the pizza place was at their wit's end.

Like we got the last slice available.

And so Ben opens his box of pizza and it's just like a melting pot of random slices.

There was like one with vegetables.

I was not eating that.

Like at Chuck E.

Cheese.

Literally.

And then there were the ones that he got for me.

What are those square ones?

Not.

Grandma.

No, but it was like...

Sicilian?

I don't know.

It was like the fattest fucking piece of pizza.

It was the big, it was a block.

It looked like a brick.

Yeah, I think that's Sicilian.

I couldn't even look at it, let alone eat it.

And then he got this random like slice with pasta on it.

Ziti slice.

Oh my God.

See, I'm just a regular girl.

I'm a creature of habit.

All I do, I eat cheese, pizza.

Like maybe I would like a different kind, but I never eat anything other than what I like.

And this pasta, which by the way, like what's fatter than pasta on pizza?

Like, I'll never understand who thought of that idea.

It's like taking your whole meal and putting it in a blender.

Like, no, it's like taking your whole meal and putting it on another meal.

Like, it's so insane.

But Jackie, oh my God, it was so fucking good.

And I'm like, I think I'm a Ziti slice girl now.

No, a ZD slice can be quite stupendous.

You know what's so funny?

I'm like sitting here podcasting and Ben is like chit-chatting in the bedroom.

Like, I'm not here working.

Just give me one second.

Hey, Ben, I'm podcasting.

No, just, yeah, silence.

Thank you.

My God.

Jeez, Louise.

Launches one brand and thinks my brand doesn't matter anymore.

Totally.

Speaking of launches one brand, so last night was the Spritz Launch Party and I'm pretty sure it was a bona fide smash

hit.

Right.

I kept like walking around, not being annoyed.

I'm like, wait, this party rocks, right?

Like, I just needed confirmation because I'm like so like obsessed with everything I do.

I think that like every, everywhere I'm at is fabulous.

But most of the time it's not.

And I'm like, you guys, this party's

killing it.

No, it was pretty off the chain.

Like such cool, interesting people came through and everyone adhered to the colorful dress code.

For the most part, yes.

It was really fabulous.

Obviously, like everyone's talking about the pool, which looked so stunning.

And for those of asking

if anyone fell in anyone

yes the answer is yes but yes one person fell in and he took it like a champ and we had some clothes because we had a hotel room we were our party was at the james hotel on the rooftop and so we had a room there um because people were like working we just had like stuff there and he took it like a champ went into the room showered put on some random person's clothes and he looked great

He looked great and he came back and it was totally fine.

But and I think, you know, that needed to happen and then no one else would fall in once everyone was talking about like the person that fell in right so it needed to be a cautionary tale and it was it could have happened to someone like worse it could have been like a worse situation

but it also could have been better yeah but also you like

you also someone could have gotten hurt you know but he did not and that's what's important

Yes, so that's what happened there.

What else happened?

I mean, everyone was just really talking about this star of the evening, which was the Sports Society canned cocktail.

Totally.

I drank like 11.

They were so good.

They were so good.

They were everywhere.

Everyone was enjoying them, talking about their favorite flavors.

If you haven't gotten yours yet, head to spritzsociety.com/slash toast, where we have a special discount code for the toasters on the variety pack.

So you can try each of the four flavors and you can let us know what your favorite flavor is.

And then one day we're going to do Spritz Madness and we're going to get to the bottom of it.

Are you going to make a choice?

Yep.

And we're going to get to the bottom of the best flavor.

Ooh.

By the way, like, it's really hard to throw a fabulous event in New York because even though New York at one point was a fabulous city, fabulous people don't live here anymore.

So like it's actually really hard to get like cool people together.

But I actually felt like we did a great job of like, you know, cultivating a good celebrity vibe.

I think that we did as well.

We had some really awesome influential, stunning, sickening influencers.

Matt and Rachel were there.

By the way, let's talk about it because first of all, I did not know they were coming.

And second of all, like I'm, they were so fucking nice.

First of all, Matt, we met Matt once, like, when we were friends, before he was a bachelor, when he was like roommates with Tyler and Tyler invited us to a party at his apartment.

And I'm sure we like said hi and we're being annoying.

And like, we were so unremarkable that like it's shocking.

So unremarkable.

And I don't know, maybe he was just being like a nice, but he was like, oh, Matt, it's so nice to see you again.

I'm like, you know me?

Yeah.

No, it was really kind and generous.

It was so generous.

And then Rachel, first of all, every i thought her last name was Kirk Connell.

And then everyone has been referring to her as Kirkenell.

And I'm like, oh, I guess I was saying it wrong.

And then I was just like, Rachel, what's the deal?

What is your last name?

And she said it's Kirk Connell.

So just putting that on the record, it's Rachel Kirk Connell.

Right.

Your instincts were right.

Yeah.

And she was so nice.

And she told us, like, all of her friends home in Georgia are toasters.

So shout out to the Georgia toasters.

I know, because like Rachel Kirk Connell asked us for a photo.

Yeah.

Life highlight.

Life highlight.

Also, I met Hannah Berner last night for the first time.

I had never met her.

I don't know.

I don't know why I thought I had.

Claudia, I saw her last night for the first time.

I I was so excited to see her.

And then I was like, wait, have we ever met?

I just feel like I know her from like social media and TV and stuff.

And no, I hadn't met her before either.

Met her for the first time, though.

It didn't, it didn't feel like the first time.

No, it didn't feel like the first.

You know, I had to do that.

Sorry.

I know.

It's just a shame we don't have at-home triangles.

Let me get on Amazon.

Click, click, click.

So yeah, she was so cool.

Oh, and Remy Bader.

I honestly hung out with Remy Bader for like most of the night.

I was like kind of following her around.

I'm like, kind of obsessed.

Do you follow her back yet?

Yes, of course.

Like, first of all, okay, so I posted a picture on my Instagram, my personal Instagram, Claude with Nojob, just like a little photo dump, a little duty of the night.

And I tagged Remy in a photo.

And of course, I follow her from Girl With No Job, but like, who cares about Claude with No Job?

She's so irrelevant.

But Remy was like, excuse me, follow me back.

And I did, of course, follow her back.

And I got her numbers.

Like, we're on a texting level now.

That is so funny.

I'm glad it all worked out for you guys.

Also, who was there?

Fellow red-headed influencer Shannon Ford.

Yes, yes.

Who I'm just like so obsessed with.

I want to go ahead ahead and say best dressed.

Of course.

I mean, like that outfit.

I'm like, are you serious?

Like showing up to our party and you're going to outdo us like that?

Yeah.

No, like, and just perfect.

Stunting on these hoes.

So perfect.

So colorful.

Really such a nice girl.

Yes, such a nice girl.

Also,

Bacheva from that Netflix show and her husband were there.

She's so nice.

Like really such a cute couple.

I just feel like it was the place to be last night.

It was.

It was the place to be.

And we were there.

I know, and we like started it.

Yeah.

So it was a really awesome night.

Thank you to everyone who placed orders yesterday and is already supporting Spritz Society.

Like we're so excited for you guys to try it because we've been drinking it for so long.

And trust us when we say like not being able to talk about this for the last year and a half, you know, kills us.

You know what?

But it was worth it.

It really killed me.

Like you know how to like be subtle and like composed and know when to speak, when not to speak.

But to me, it's like if there's no product to buy, it makes no sense to talk about it.

No, I agree.

Like, from a marketing perspective, I hate when people like promote things for like months before they come out, unless it's a book, because a lot of people don't know.

Like, you have to promote your book super hard if you want to get on the New York Times bestsellers list.

Like, you can start promoting a year in advance, and it all counts towards New York Times.

So, that's the only acceptable place to promote something nonsensically annoying.

No, but like, you wouldn't be promoting your book if they couldn't pre-order it yet.

Of course.

Right.

So, you're, you can still place an order.

That's true.

You can still get.

Right.

So, that's why, you know we just wanted to spring everything on you guys yesterday when it was ready and everything is ready for you So again everybody who ordered we're so excited for you to try it and if you haven't ordered yet spritzsociety comm slash toast and also I we didn't mention why we're podcasting from home But I think it's just obvious like I'm currently wrapped up in a barefoot dreams blanket My feet are on ice like we are just broken women.

I gave that party everything I had there were so many people just like you had to talk and then walk and then talk and then drink and then photos like it was just a lot and I still feel like I miss the whole party.

Yeah, Yeah, I feel you.

I woke up with a migraine this morning.

So yeah, I knew I was headed for one.

And that's just my cross to bear.

So we were in agreement that today was a podcast from home sort of day.

And honestly, I'm like, usually when we podcast from home, like I still go about my routine a little bit.

I at least, you know, open my blinds.

Today I'm just sitting like in complete darkness with like one lamp on.

Bruno is laying on the bed on my heating pad.

Bruno just discovered my heating pad.

I guess I don't know why I never offered it to him before.

And now I leave it on all day for him.

And this man is in heaven.

Oh my god, if I'm using my heating pad and I get up to go pee, I come back, Theo's on it.

Like I need to get like a full,

like a blanket heating pad that like expands beyond my back so that Theo has some places to lay to.

Yeah, I need to get just another heating pad, like one for me, one for Brew.

Oh my god, that is so cute.

They should make like

two for one doggy heating pads, like one human, one doggy.

It's literally the cutest thing.

He's so cute.

I actually see him like between your head and your microphone.

He looks so cute.

Yeah, so I'm excited to snuggle back up with him.

So it's Wednesday, and of course we're podcasting from home, but now it's the third day where Brutus, a fourth day, because he was supposed to come on Friday, where Brutetu has not joined the toast.

Will he be coming tomorrow?

Can you give something like for the people to look forward to?

I need to confirm, you know what, I'll confirm right now with my calendar that I'm not going anywhere directly from the toast tomorrow.

and i am not okay so i think it's safe to say brutadu will be coming tomorrow is brutadu dadu dadu tadu coming tomorrow brut daddy dadu daddy tadu is coming yes cool

yeah so i'm excited for everyone to see him again i'm sorry like bruno's mom keeps lying Bruno's mom is a liar and I just feel like it's better that we know now.

That's so hurtful to me, you know?

Brut

I fucking love Brew.

Like, he's really elevated his game recently.

No, that's what I've been trying to tell you guys, and that's why he has to come to the show.

It's like he's one years old now, like, he's a man, he knows what he wants, he knows what he's about, and I'm really excited for you guys to see that.

I'm excited for today's show because, of course, we got the fast five, but we do also have our dear toaster segment that was postponed from yesterday because yesterday was such a crazy busy day.

Um, but we're back on our grind Wednesdays, dear toasters.

But I just have to say, we'll see what happens next week.

But we're planning on doing it on Tuesdays again.

I feel like the shift has just been so like temporary because like I kept moving it with Tyler.

Like we are Tuesday deer toasters.

Like I just don't want people to think we're flaky.

Like we are Tuesday deer toasters people.

I agree, but I do also feel like no, like no shade, but you're drawing more attention to it.

I like keep mentioning it and being like Wednesday, Tuesday, last week we said like if you just said this week it's on Wednesday and then we go back to Tuesday and then next, you know what I mean?

Like

you just feel so guilty that you're like.

No, no, that's not it.

That's not it.

I'm trying to, like, you know, mention it before someone like leaves a podcast review.

Like, these girls are so all over the place.

Like, they said Tuesday and then Wednesday.

So I just want to let you know, like, we know, like, we're self-aware.

Like, we're just trying to run a business in the most organized fashion that we see fit.

So, I'm not saying it because I feel guilty.

Like, this, I don't feel guilty.

I didn't do anything wrong.

I'm just saying.

You're acting, you're acting really guilty.

To hopefully deflect a negative podcast review.

That's really what I'm doing.

Okay, I understand your intentions, but in turn, you're drawing more attention to it okay so should i just go like should i just quit no no no no no no no but i think like everyone listening is genuinely okay with like the quick switch you know what let me know leave a comment on our instagram are you okay with what's been going on

but then it's a self-fulfilling prophecy

i know that was like you know the joke no but you created it no don't leave a comment please

Okay, without further ado, to do to do, it is time for the fast five stories that you do need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

How?

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Thank you, Claudia.

A pleasure.

Are you ready for our first story?

No.

Do you know why I,

I feel like the last like week, every time you say thank you after an ad, I always say, it's a pleasure.

Do you know why I say that?

No, I don't.

Do you remember when we were in Tel Aviv staying at the Hilton and we were on phone on the phone with customer service?

Like we were trying to get something done, like for our bill or whatever.

And they put us on hold.

And this, they put us on hold for like an hour.

And the song that was coming out of the hold machine was, It's a pleasure doing business with you.

And we were like singing that song.

Do you know what I'm talking about?

No, I don't.

But that sounds like a really fun time.

Maybe you weren't there.

Maybe it was Olivia.

Because I feel like you're not.

Oh, wow, her phone.

Her phone.

No, I feel like you're not the type of like person on vacation to like, you know, offer to help a customer service thing.

No, or to make up a dance to the hold music.

It's a pleasure

doing business with you.

It was not a pleasure doing business with the Hilton.

Okay.

Well, thank you for that interlude and explanation.

It's a pleasure.

Stop going.

Are you ready for our first story?

You should get ready for our first story because it's actually something that you literally said yesterday.

Oh my God, I know.

The Real House Eyes of Dallas are not returning next year.

The future of the Real House Housewives of Dallas is unclear.

The Bravo series, which most recently aired its fifth season, will not be returning for a sixth year, Bravo confirmed on Tuesday.

There are currently no plans to bring back the Real Housewives of Dallas next year, a spokesperson for the network told people.

As for the possibility for future seasons premiering at a later date, they said nothing official has been decided.

Well, let me just say this.

It's worth mentioning that the show wasn't canceled.

It's just not coming back.

But also,

the Real Housewives of Miami still technically has not been canceled.

And now, what is it, 10 years later, they're being revived on Peacock.

So Bravo doesn't really cancel Housewives, except they did cancel Real Housewives of DC, which I do feel like wasn't given a fair chance.

But

I do think it's, first of all, I'm not surprised by this in the sense that like I literally said yesterday, at any minute, it feels like the Real Housewives of Dallas could be canceled.

Like there's not a huge following.

There's not good ratings.

But the only reason I was remotely shocked is because

I've been hearing like a lot of casting news.

I heard they were casting this influencer named Elizabeth.

So I've been hearing a lot of like things coming out.

A lot of the women were just together.

I thought, I just assumed that they were filming.

So

that's why I'm surprised.

But I'm not surprised that the show in general isn't coming back.

I agree with you.

I do think, I think that they had to have filmed something in the last few months and it probably just wasn't good enough.

And because we did hear this casting news, the group was hanging out.

Everyone was acting like they were filming and it didn't feel like they were putting on an act.

so I feel like they filmed something for the season it's just like not good and they're gonna take a little break from Dallas and see what happens

I didn't realize that Miami wasn't canceled it was just like suspended yeah like they because they always are open to like bringing stuff back but I also think it's weird that they wouldn't maybe okay if the viewership is not great like why not make it a peacock show

Yeah like I feel like that would actually like it's end up being like a really good thing for Bravo where like the franchises that aren't great but like have potential get to be on Peacock and until they get like good enough then they can come to Bravo, you know?

Yeah, but then Peacock is just like a wasteland for shows that aren't good enough.

Yeah, but there are people a present company included who will watch a housewife's franchise like even if it's bad.

Like they're just housewife fans, you know?

Yeah.

I agree with that.

I mean, I like Dallas.

Me too.

I don't know if it's just because I really liked so many of the women like on a personal level.

By the way, that's what it is.

The show was never really that good.

The women were amazing.

They just have some like really great women who you just like want to watch on television, but together,

it just,

I don't know, maybe,

I don't know what it is in the water.

That just made it like very conflict diverse.

Yeah.

And like when you look at, for me, you know, I'm...

devastated because Dallas Housewives is one of the very rare franchise where everyone is rich.

And like the houses and the cars, like it really was a fabulous insight into the upper echelon of Dallas high society.

Um, and there were some gems, like, of course, Stephanie Holman was an is and was an amazing housewife.

Deandra Simmons, I think, is like such a pro.

I think she could be thrown into any franchise, and she was just like a great housewife.

I loved Tiffany, her most recent season, and Cameron Westcott was a very interesting housewife.

Like, so it's not for lack of trying, I just want to say, like, it was very well edited.

I just think there was something about this group that, like, wasn't working.

Yeah, but I don't know if it's even if they brought in new people, maybe it would work better because maybe the new people would be like a little bit more cutthroat.

Maybe these ladies just had like too much to lose and just weren't willing to go there,

go there with each other.

But

I don't know.

It makes sense.

That's actually a really good point.

They talk a lot about how like Dallas high society is very kind of like nose in the air.

And I imagine being on the show like isn't great for your social standing, but they never really got crazy.

You know, the fights were not.

Well, they only got crazy with Leanne.

Leanne.

Well, and no, only Leanne got crazy.

So do we, do you bring back someone like Leanne who's just like this disruptor?

No.

No.

No.

It was time.

Like, it was time.

When I was seeing the ratings for this most recent season, like, I knew our time was up.

Like, I did.

Damn.

I mean, I was really excited to see these new cast members, especially the one that we had heard was joining Elizabeth.

Like, I was excited.

Me too.

But it's not meant to be.

No, it's not meant to be.

And that's just, it's too bad.

It is too bad.

You hate to see a house.

But you know what?

Like, not every franchise can just live on in perpetuity.

And you know what?

For the content plate.

I know.

It's a relief.

No, I know.

I like need the Real Houses of New York to get canceled too.

Like,

oh my God.

Suffice it to say we did not watch last night.

Right.

We didn't watch last night.

I don't think Real Houses of New York will ever be canceled.

Just like it's an institution.

It's an institution.

What would you want to see go next?

I would love to see OC go, but it's the first one.

Yeah, no, the thing, what's so funny is that like the OG franchises are the two I could live without, Real Houses of Orange County and New York.

At present moment, that doesn't mean I don't, you know, respect the history of the franchise.

I do.

I've seen every episode of every,

but over the last couple years, I've dreaded watching OC and New York.

Yes, I agree.

Okay, next story: some cute couple news.

Kendall Jenner wears Devin Booker's Olympic medal during lake vacation.

Kendall is going for the gold.

NBA star Devin Booker snapped a rare photo of his girlfriend wearing his Olympic gold medal as she lounged on a boat during their lake getaway.

Booker took home the prize medal as a result of his participation on Team USA's basketball team.

So this is a really cute, iconic photo.

And these two don't give us a lot, but it does feel like whenever whatever and whenever they give us something it's really it's beautiful no they give us nothing but it also does feel like in the last couple months we've been getting way more from them than we've ever gotten before

Yes, because like they are now together for over a year.

I'm sure like in those early months of a celebrity relationship, it's like you want to protect your relationship.

You also don't know if it's going to work out.

You don't want everybody's opinions.

But the longer that you're together, like the more comfortable you are in the relation.

Like I just, I think that's pretty natural.

Agree.

And now just seeing something like this, it just really, it upsets me thinking about how much stuff we've missed over the last year.

Especially because Kendall's like such a photographer and a model.

Like their content is very, very premium.

And I can- It's very premium.

I can imagine their shared album that they have of things they've never posted is just full of like gorgeous, sexy, premium-ass content.

High quality.

Artistic, iconic.

I agree.

And that's what I felt about this photo.

Like, it's really quite artistic, like in the shadows and even the American flag in the back with the metal.

Like, it's all, it's, it's so beautiful.

And Kendall is a photographer, so it's like, is Devin have a little bit of photo chops too?

Or, you know, was one of her photographer friends on the boat?

Or, like, did Kendall really edit this photo, add the shadows, you know?

No, no.

I don't, or, but did she, like, set up a tripod?

Totally.

I mean, I...

I kind of like don't want to live in a world where Kendall Jenner took this photo on a tripod.

No, me neither.

Like, I want to live in a world where Devin Booker took it, but so you're telling me he's like an

Olympic-level basketball player and he's, you know, Annie Leibowitz.

I mean, the thing is, is like you really never know people.

People,

as Wendy Zenwen said, don't put me in a box.

He could be both.

It's true.

No, and I'm not trying to put anyone in a box.

Sounds like you all.

No, no, I'm just saying

most people don't get that many talents.

You get your talent, you know?

Okay, I think maybe we're taking this a little far.

Like, it's just an Instagram photo.

No, but like, listen,

like, if that were me and Zach, like, that picture would not look like that, okay?

For a number of reasons.

Well, that's because, like, and the same with Ben, like, they just don't care.

No, but the thing is, is that Devin Booker cares.

It's a beautiful thought.

No, and now I'm thinking, I'm like, I'm so happy for her.

Like, she has a partner in life who cares.

What about this?

What if it's not that he cares?

What if it's just that Kendall Jenner can't take a bad picture?

Yeah, but the thing is, like...

Because if this were someone else with those shadows, I'd be like, and Zach took the exact same picture of me.

I'd be like, are you fucking kidding me?

I'm backlit.

Maybe the photo is terrible, but we're just like blinded because Kendall's so beautiful and there's like a gold medal and she's like on a lake.

How bad could it be?

Like maybe it's a terrible, maybe it's a classic boyfriend photo.

Yeah, but like because she's a supermodel, like we're just

like, it's amazing.

I can't believe we didn't even think of that.

I think that's it.

I'm so glad we got to the bottom of this.

That's what we do here at the toast.

We get to the bottom of nonsensical things.

Wow, okay.

I feel prepared to actually move on because our next story is about her sister, Kylie, who confirmed she's launching Kylie Swim and shared a sneak peek of one of her swimsuits.

Kylie confirmed she's launching a swimwear line, teasing the collection with a series of Instagram stories on Wednesday.

She snapped a mirror selfie in a skin-bearing One Piece writing, working on at Kylie Swim, and I can't wait to share.

The collection appears to include a range of sunset-hued styles, as she also shared an on-set peek at Polaroids of the line before snapping a close-up of herself in an orange cut-out One Piece.

So usually when Kylie launches a brand, people are able to figure it out either through the trademark or like who she's following on Instagram.

Like we knew about Kylie Baby before it was a thing.

I have not heard anything about Kylie Swim, so I was genuinely surprised at this announcement.

I think other people had heard stuff, like had been, you know, following more closely than you and I.

I was genuinely surprised by this announcement too.

I guess it like makes sense and she's taking on a lot right now so i just you know but i know wouldn't people with everything pregnant so wouldn't you if everything you touched turned to gold no literally if i had like the power of kylie like i would literally be launching a tire business like i would do everything

kylie tires claudius tires

I think that that would do really, really well.

Like, I would make auto shops.

Like, I would get into every possible business because, you know, the economy, some businesses are good.

Some are, like, I would do hotels.

I would do auto shops.

i would do hardware stores i would do drugstores like i would do everything

yeah and that's i agree with you she that's what she's doing her next venture is into swim i mean she looked so amazing in the swimsuit i personally wouldn't oh my god i just

i was just thinking like what if i put that bathing suit on like

it would be traumatizing i found the whole thing offensive for real no but like where are you supposed to put your roles

at where are you supposed to put your tits?

Your regime.

Like it was just, it was a contraption.

It was a harness.

No, but it was like, it's not for everyone.

No.

But, you know, it looks amazing on her.

And I like the colors.

And I, I, you know, I like to see creativity and female entrepreneurship.

And by the way, like the influencer swim space is actually very popular.

Like, I feel like a lot of the most popular brands for bathing suits are from influencers.

Like Monday Swim is like so popular and it was started by influencers.

Right.

What else?

Francesca Ferago has a really popular, oh, I'm sorry, CSTK.

True.

Also, Shane Marie has a great line of same swim.

Like, yeah.

That's very true.

So, um, that's a really good point, but I also do feel like when you say you needed to go buy bathing suits.

Well, sorry, I don't, I don't want to like trigger you in a bad headspace.

I don't want to put you in a bad headspace.

That's okay.

Keep going.

Say you need to go buy bathing suits.

Where do you go?

Where do you go first?

Well, the thing is, I require industrial strength bathing suits that are literally like a girdle.

So I go to a few places.

I go to Miracle Swim, which is the best.

Swimsuits for All is great.

And I have many a time gone to Monday Swim because they have like a whole line for people with enormous tits.

So I just feel like there's two types of people, ready?

People who can wear bathing suits that cost $15 and people who have to spend over $100 on a bathing suit just because of the girth and the quality.

Over $100 on the top.

Right.

Like that's a good one.

And over $100 on the bottom.

Who just like waltz into Target and like, oh, what a cute bikini.

You know what?

Do you have

a under 12?

No, justice for Target, because Target has cute stuff, but the fact that there are people who can scroll their Instagram and like see an Instagram ad for a bathing suit and be like, I like how that looks, and then just buy it that.

Right.

There's no other thinking strategy required.

I genuinely can't relate.

No, not at all.

Whatsoever.

Not at all.

I need to take measurements.

My swimwear needs to meet like about eight criteria.

100%.

Like the people who are running around, and this trend is actually killing me with the low back one pieces.

Where's the support for the breasts?

It's insane.

Like not even a strap.

On my bachelorette party, you guys like all got bathing suits.

One piece is like brides, bridesmaids.

It was like so cute.

And I put it on and I'm like, where do my boobs go?

The fact that there's not one lumber of support for your breasts in the back is insane.

I understand what you're talking about.

No, the move is you got to wear a bra with it and then like a little kimono.

I'm like a cardigan.

A cardigan.

To cover the bra in the back.

No, totally.

Yeah.

Or or you have to get it in such a small size that it's so tight.

and that things can't move.

But then your labias are popping out, like your vagina rolls are popping out.

Shorts.

No, I'm just actually going to show up in a winter coat, like with the bathing suit underneath just to cover everything.

Yeah, no, so what I was just saying, it's swimsuits.

I still feel like, even though there's so many brands and so many amazing brands, and I actually have a few brands that like are my go-tos, and I have like three styles of swimsuits in 12 colors.

And that's my, I do feel like it's a category that isn't owned yet by anyone.

I feel like for a while, Victoria's Secret Swim,

when we were in high school, was really popular.

And then they just canceled it and pivoted towards athleisure.

And I feel like there's a gap there.

And I feel like Kylie is maybe, I mean, not with what she's shown us because these swimsuits aren't for everyone, but you know, I'm sure she's got more

sleeve.

Skims should do bathing suits.

I would trust that.

No, like even the skims bandeau and the skims bralette, like with a pair of for the skims high-waisted underwear, like I would wear that as I like the cut of all of that, but just make it, make it in water material.

No, totally.

Like there, you're, you're 100% right.

Like there is not, there are a couple good brands of for sure, like my go-tos, but there is not, I feel like, what's that brand?

I have one of their bathing suits and every time I go on the website, I get targeted for a month with ads.

It's called like salt, summer salt.

Yeah.

They're pretty good, but they don't have enough styles and they like, they have one style.

It's like color blocking, like do something else.

So my,

my favorite bathing suit brand is actually, most of my bathing suits are Tula Rosa from Revolve.

They have some great hold and high-waisted options.

I also like the brand Kasakai.

If you go to their website, you'll recognize every single bathing suit as ones I've been wearing for the past five years.

And there was one more brand that I like.

What is it?

Oh, I sometimes like Frankie's bikinis if I can get it, you know.

The right triangles on your tests.

The right shape.

I have to order like small, medium, large, see which one fits.

You just never know.

But I have two successful bathing suits.

Good.

I'm happy for you.

So I don't know if this is what Kylie's intending, but like, I just, I need a swimwear line like for real people.

And I, I'm, from what I've seen, I don't think that this is what it is.

No, but maybe she just like wanted to post a buzzy pick.

Yeah.

Not like, not, you know, the

utility every day.

Yeah.

Like, I literally, like, my bathing suits are made out of duct tape.

Like, they're so fucking tight.

Like, I need bathing suits.

I need so much money.

That's why I'm always wearing the same fucking three bathing suits because I spent $600 on all three of them.

Claude, I need bathing suits made out of tires.

Kylie's tires.

That's next for her.

Okay, well, congratulations to Kylie.

I always love to, like, you know, see what the girls are up to, and this is exciting.

Very.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yeah.

First look pictures at Elizabeth DeBecky as Princess Diana and Dominic West as Prince Charles for the Crown season five have emerged, and I need to know your thoughts.

There's one pic of Dominic as Prince Charles, and that's the story.

Yeah, that's the story.

And that's the whole story.

We'll obviously post it on our Instagram.

It was, okay, so I saw the picture of Elizabeth DeBecky.

She looks great.

I think even, you know, not in costume, she does resemble Princess Diana.

And so I'm not worried at all.

And we've spoken a lot about how we were very concerned about Dominic West.

Like, we don't know if he had the acting chops.

And for the most part, everyone in the crown is like not famous yet or like recognizable.

So it's just perfect, you know?

And my concerns were not at ease after seeing this photo.

They were actually worse because, of course, he looks like Prince Charles, because that's what Hollywood and Netflix, you know, hair and makeup does.

Budget.

That's not what I'm worried about.

I'm worried about him as an actor and as a person.

Like, I know too much about him.

He's not Prince Charles.

He's the guy from the affair.

And he's the guy who was caught with Lily James running around town.

Yeah.

So I

hear you and I receive all of that.

But maybe because I was coming from an even harsher place against Dominic West for the role, when I saw this picture, my fears were somewhat alleviated because I was able to see Prince Charles in there.

I still see Dominic and I still see Noah and I still see that horrible fucking show, The Affair, that like ruined weeks of my life.

And I never even finished it because it was so fucking terrible.

And they really thought they did something.

No, they really thought they were doing something with that.

That is true.

That's true.

Like, like with the different perspectives and like how when it's Rose's perspective, her dress is longer.

And when it's like Noah's perspective, her dress is shorter, and she's like,

cutting onto him.

You're 100% right.

I don't agree with you that the show was bad because I liked it, but they thought that they were changing the world with that, like, two-perspective, different color thing.

Right.

And, like, they really, really thought, but you know what?

When I was watching just that, like, it didn't even bother me yet.

It's like the place that the show eventually ventured to was so terrible.

Which place?

Like, after he goes to prison, and then, like, Brendan Frazier.

Yeah, that was a a really bad season.

Yeah.

No, it was it was, but that's not even when I stopped watching.

I

blocked it out of my memory.

Anyways, I don't want to go back to this.

Really quickly, speaking of Brendan Frazier, do you know that he's like the biggest P-JOM on planet Earth?

I believe it.

This, he like doesn't really do press or anything, but this interview he did went viral.

I saw it on TikTok.

You have to watch it.

He's just being so cute.

That's really cute.

Why don't you send me stuff like that?

Because you're not on TikTok.

And you know what?

Like, you can only watch the first 15 seconds because you're watching it on Safari like a grandma.

And now you can.

I've always had suspicion.

Now, I always had suspicions I wasn't watching.

They have three-minute videos, and I'm not going to send you something.

I always was suspicious that I wasn't getting the whole video, but I could never confirm.

No, you only get like the first.

They want you to download the app.

Hmm.

Not happening.

Anyways, Dominic West.

So I did feel assuaged by this photo, and I'm going to give him a chance.

Assuaged.

I felt assuaged.

I love feeling assuaged.

But you didn't feel assuaged.

I don't even know what that means.

I'm assuming like your opinion was suede.

In a way, yes, yes.

Assuaged, like comforted.

Oh, okay.

That's a good word.

Thank you.

I love to share new words.

Really quickly, because I just got a PR pack.

It's sitting right in front of me.

I got Dorinda's book.

Okay.

Did you see the fight in Dorinda Medley's comment section i did thanks to toast after dark yes somebody posted it in our facebook group and i swear it's something i never would have seen and i'm so glad someone posted it because it was insane so basically she put up this picture of like her house and there's like a peacock in it and she's talking about how like she can feel richard her ex-husband who passed away like his presence

No, well, she said like Richard and I finished the book.

Like, oh, is that what she said?

It was even more personified than that.

Oh, okay.

So she said Richard.

It was a picture of the peacock and she said, Richard and I, like, wrote the book or something like that.

Okay.

You know what?

Let me just go.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You tell the story.

I'm going to go find it.

So then someone commented and like was confused.

I guess they didn't know who Richard was.

And she has this picture of a peacock.

She said, okay, this is it.

She said, we did it.

Richard and I, Richard, no, sorry.

We did it.

Richard, I have published a book and I'm home, our home.

And the picture is of a peacock in her house.

Got it.

So somebody left a comment.

And what was the comment?

They said, does Richard come with the Airbnb rental?

Heart emoji, heart eye emoji.

So, of course, if you know the context, you're like, that's fucking rude.

Like, does the ghost of her dead husband come?

Like, that's rude.

But the picture makes it seem like she has a peacock named Richard.

Right.

And Dorinda like wrote back being like, you're clever, right?

Unkind at best.

Let's play this idiot, mean, mean, idiot.

Let's play this.

Yeah, my dead husband is coming.

You good now?

And the girls wrote back, oh my God, oh my God.

Oh, my God, Dorinda.

This is totally, I totally forgot forgot your husband's name was Richard.

I love the peacock.

Oh my God, I'm sorry.

Nothing but love.

I miss you on the show, heart, heart.

And then Dorinda replied, apologize for you.

Disrespect to my husband.

Don't mention his name.

Okay, first of all, the typing is so Dorinda.

Like after she's had a few martinis, I could hear her in the comment.

And this poor girl.

And she's clearly a fan.

Of course.

It's just really sad.

So I just wanted to say I got the book and she does look glorious.

Like these are some of the best photos.

It's obviously taken at Bluestone, I have to assume, on the front and back.

Oh, look, there's a peacock behind her.

Is there?

On the back cover.

There is.

Ted.

So I just wanted to share that story because I just wanted to die while reading it.

Yeah, no, it's particularly bad.

Are we ready for our fifth and final story?

It's a little.

Final story.

It's a little sports music tech news.

SMTN?

SMTN.

Carrie Underwood's Sunday night football opening is getting a high-tech upgrade.

Oh.

We, this is okay.

So, if you guys don't know about me and Claudia, one of our favorite songs of all time is

Waiting All Day for Sunday Night.

Ooh, Sunday Night.

Whoa,

Sunday night.

Sunday night.

Stand on the floor.

Katari, stop cocking.

Got a real good feeling.

Sunday night about to happen.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

It's the little commercial they play before Sunday night football.

Carrie looks sickening.

It's one of her, it's her song with Miranda Lambert that they like re-jiggered to make like a football moment.

And it's just like so American and amazing.

It's such an amazing moment.

And every year, you know, she gets her upgrade.

And this year, she's getting a very serious high-tech upgrade using the same technologies they use for the Mandalorian.

So, they're going to be using this technology to put Carrie at virtual football tailgates while performing, Waiting All Day for Sunday Night.

The shoot was conducted at an Industrial Light and Magic soundstage using virtual technology recently utilized in The Mandalorian.

The singer has opened the program with various segments since 2013.

NBC will augment her performance with user-generated videos from fans at their own tailgates, as well as from NFL stars, all of which will be updated each week to reflect current events.

We have to make one.

We have to make one.

But also, I've always, I mean, this is the first time they're using this technology, but every time you watch the

thing, she says both team names.

They show, they like, they make a custom version for every single game.

Depending on like

I've always wondered if she records singing each team's name, like

both.

No, I feel like she has to record every team's name and then they like copy and paste it into the song.

Yes, no, but like she'll say Browns versus Jets, and so she has to say

Browns versus Jets.

I couldn't think of another team name.

So she has to sing every team name in the same trope as Brown.

And then she has to sing every team name in the same trope as Jets.

He's thought about this a lot.

I think about it every time.

And now...

Okay, sorry.

And now the videos are going to be even more custom.

And I'm just so glad I'm not going to be wondering wondering every time I watch like how they got this footage.

Okay.

Well,

it feels like

they're opening the door more and more.

Like we're learning more and more about Sunday night.

They're being really transparent with the fans.

And I appreciate that.

I wonder if they know that like that song has a cult following.

Not the original with Miranda Lambert, but the.

No, oh, Sunday night.

I think that they do because they put a lot of effort into it.

Like it used to be Faith Hill.

They take it very seriously.

And

I just like, I wonder if everybody, like when, whenever my husband's watching football, like, I don't always watch.

Usually, I actually don't.

But, like, if it's Sunday night, like, rewind, we're watching the song and then you can watch your game.

Like, it's just like, to me, it's like the national anthem.

Like, who's performing?

Is it Browns versus Jets?

I want to hear it.

And I love that Carrie's been doing this for so long and she's just like looking better and better.

But it's interesting to think about who will be the next Carrie, the next Faith.

Who do you think it's going to be?

Okay, not that this is in any way like an upcoming issue, pressing issue

to think about.

So it's even possible that the next person isn't even on our radar yet.

Or they're not even alive yet.

True.

I don't know.

I feel like it could be Kelsey Ballerini.

I knew you were going to say that.

Because everyone says Kelsey is the young Carrie.

I don't see it.

It's just possible.

Or Marin.

I just.

Or Marin, yeah.

No.

I actually feel like whenever the time comes for it to be someone other than Carrie, I feel like they will choose someone like from the pop music world.

Why?

It's like such a country thing.

I just, I feel like

country has.

Let them have it.

Country is becoming more pop, and I just, I feel like they'll choose, you know, Julia Michaels.

Don't ruin it.

No.

No, I...

I said what I said.

I'm hanging on Kelsey.

No, I think that's just like...

Too obvious.

So obvious.

Like, not and not even in an obvious way.

I feel that.

You know what I mean?

Well, good thing we don't have to think about it for a hundred more years.

Yeah, no, because it should be Carrie forever.

And with new technology, she can do it from anywhere.

Yeah, no, they can make like a hologram of her long after she's gone.

Yeah, no, it's going to be Carrie forever.

It's like Phil of the Future.

Exactly.

Well, those were the past five.

And I definitely feel super educated.

I feel as though you needed to know them.

I really, really do.

Well, the show's not over yet because we've got Deer Toasters, which is our advice segment, which we do every week.

Depends which day.

So if you ever want to write in, it's deertoasters at gmail.com.

And of course, we will always keep you anonymous.

And today's Deer Toasters is brought to you.

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Um, okay, ready for dear toasters?

Yes, okay, here we go.

Dear Claudia and Jackie,

A1 since day one here.

What does that mean?

I don't know.

I think that, you know, we're not current.

No, but I think that means she's like, OG, listener.

A1 since day one.

I don't know.

I'll look at our open dictionary.

Well, she's finally ready for some of our sage advice.

I have been married to a PJOM for almost four years, and we are expecting our first Bed Bed this Christmas.

We are super excited, but I gotta say, pregnancy is kind of not great, and I've never felt so out of sorts with my body.

My husband, Jack, is planning on going on a boys' beach trip at the end of this month with some of his coworker friends.

I'm close with them, and one of the the wives is also pregnant.

The problem is my husband let on that some of the guys are planning on bringing some extracurricular drugs and making plans to hit a few local strip clubs during their boys weekend.

I feel weird asking my husband to stay at the condo while the other guys go out because I'm not usually the jealous type.

I'm not like other girls.

Except maybe I am.

Am I crazy for feeling super pissed that I'm going to be at home pregnant while my husband and his stupid friends hit strip clubs and do God knows what?

Should I just count this as his last wild weekend before the baby arrives?

Or should I break his guide code and tell the other wives about these secret plans so we can all nag the out of them about it i hear

i can't get past the fact that i'll be at home feeling the worst i've ever felt about my body while my husband spends our joint account money at a motherfucking strip club i don't know how to figure it out if it's just my hormones making me crazy or i'm validated in being pissed about this whole thing love a sad hormonal toaster you're so justified but i just want to say the answer here is not telling the other wives that makes you like a snitch

yeah i I don't think that we need to do that just yet.

I'm trying to put myself in your position, and it's definitely super frustrating if he's going to go and do drugs like already.

Like, that's annoying.

Consider like he's going on a boys' weekend.

But you know what?

I think we can let it slip.

But the idea that you will be able to say that when you were at home pregnant, your husband was at the strip club is just not something that you should ever, that should ever be a fact of your life.

So you need to tell him that.

Yeah, I think the answer is just just talking to him.

And tell him it, like saying like that.

And if he still doesn't get it, maybe like tell his mother, you know, like your son is going to the strip club when his wife's at home pregnant.

Like the more you say it, the more

unacceptable it sounds.

Yeah.

No, totally.

Do not be a snitch.

Like then like if these are like his real friends, like then you just become like the snitch.

Like you don't want that.

But your marriage is important.

And I feel like if you just talk to him, like, yo, like, I'm literally here carrying our baby.

I was going to let you go.

But this has taken it too far.

Like, my ankles are swollen and you're at the strip club.

Like, how does that fare?

No, and it's like, I will let you go on your boys' weekend.

I will let you do drugs, but I draw the, so you can give him those two things, but I draw the line at the strip club.

And I don't think that's asking a lot.

No, and like, honestly, it really sounds like a bad plot from like a reality TV.

Like, you know, the pregnant girl at home while her husband's at a strip club.

Like, it's like, yeah, and then like your friends find out, your friends find out, and you're, they're like, your husband was at the strip club when you were pregnant.

No, totally.

Like, you just don't want to be associated with this.

Like, a boys' trip is fine.

You know, they want to smoke weed, whatever.

Like it's fine.

But we draw the line at strip club.

And I really feel like you're not unreasonable for sitting him down.

Don't be like overly emotional.

Just be like, I'm having a hard time, like wrapping my head around the fact that you're going to a strip club and I am sitting here like wanting, like feeling the worst I've ever felt about myself.

Like that's just not, that's just not how I saw my pregnancy.

And I think we need to talk.

No, that's not how I saw my life.

Totally.

But also, I think the fact that he told you that like, or did the other wife tell her?

No, I feel like he's definitely a PJOM and he just like doesn't know that his actions are so

unacceptable.

Cause it's like if you can go on a boys trip while your wife's at home, who cares what you're doing on the boys trip?

But it's just the idea of at the strip club while your wife's pregnant.

Yeah, also.

I reread.

Her husband was the one who told her about the drugs in the strip club.

So he's obviously like an honest guy.

Yeah, I don't have an issue with him, but he's obviously taken your leniency a little too far.

And so you just got to reel him back in.

Yeah, every now and then.

That's not what I meant.

That's not what I meant when when I said you could go.

Right.

Every now and then, a husband just needs like a quick reminder who's in charge.

And it's you.

Like, you're fucking pregnant.

You're in charge.

It's your world.

He's just living in it.

No.

And like, you could also just like, if he, if for some reason he defies what you say and goes, like, obviously you're going to call the credit card company fraud.

And you're going to like embarrass him in front of all his new stars.

The card gets declined at the strip club.

Like, that's embarrassing.

That's a punishment that's worthy of the crime.

Yeah.

Okay.

Well, good luck with that.

But before he even goes, you should call it in.

Yeah, just like

cancel this number.

Totally.

Actually, before he even takes off,

ruin his.

They escort him off the plane.

Like, sir, your credit card's been declined.

You can't go.

Your wife is waiting for you outside.

Pregnant.

Yeah.

Were you leaving your pregnant wife?

And then he's like embarrassed on the plane.

Like,

oh no, it was just a boys' weekend.

Like, oh, yeah, sure.

She said it could go.

Love that.

All right, next up.

Hello, dearest Steens.

I come to you both with a predicament involving both a wedding and a funeral.

This September, a couple that my boyfriend and I are friends with are getting married about six hours north

at the bride's family cabin.

They booked additional cabins for the 35 guests to stay in.

like wedding crashers and it's going to be a super fun long weekend following the celebration of their wedding on a Friday evening.

Unfortunately, a relative of mine whom I was close to passed away from cancer this week and they've scheduled his celebration of life service at his specific church on the same day as the wedding.

Here's some logistics to consider.

The church service is at 1 p.m.

It would be a six-hour car drive

afterwards for me to try to get to the wedding.

The wedding starts at 5, but the soonest I could arrive would be 8.

I let the bride and groom know, and I informed them that my boyfriend, who was their friend first, would still be partaking in the wedding festivities from Thursday to Sunday with the other 30-plus people.

I would still like to drive up and join the reception as soon as I could.

This was the response I got from the groom.

So these are weird circumstances, but it would mean a lot to us if you both were able to make it for the ceremony.

Is there any chance that it would be possible for you to be there at this point?

Our wedding was intentionally pretty small.

We chose these dates in advance so our close friends and family could attend, and we would be really sad if you weren't able to make it.

Steen's help.

I feel so awkward, and it's sucky that they're trying to guilt me about a funeral, as if I wouldn't rather be having fun at their wedding.

I feel guilty that they could have given my spot to anyone else, but I'm willing to drive alone to join in when I can.

My parents are saying a six-hour drive alone is unsafe, and I should miss the funeral, and I should just miss the funeral and go to the wedding.

However, I feel so conflicted since there was such a close relative who died so quickly.

Should I skip the funeral/slash church service to go to a wedding?

Would my loved one want me to go celebrate friends instead of being in a six-hour car ride alone?

Should I tell the bride and groom that they're being hurtful and unfair by forcing me to choose?

SOS, a very conflicted toaster/slash wedding guest/slash funeral attendee.

Can you just say one more time

the relation of the person who passed away?

It's she just said

super close relative.

So, what do you think that is?

I don't think it's an immediate family member.

I think it's probably not like a grandpa.

A cousin or a grandpa.

Immediate is just like brother, sister, mother, father.

Of course, of course.

That wouldn't be a question.

Yeah, I think it's like grandparent or cousin.

The fact that the bride and groom are even giving you a pit about this, like selfish, knows no bounds.

I can't even, like, just

so crazy.

Like, you shouldn't have to worry.

And of course.

The brides are getting out of control.

No, they are.

And I guess they get this like one chance and then like

fine.

And also the fact that the groom wrote it, like, sit down.

No, literally.

So this is a really tough spot.

I think you just have to do what your conscience tells you is right.

Because if you miss this funeral to go to a wedding, like, what are the odds you're going to have fun at this wedding?

Like, personally, I would have a pit the entire time.

Like, I would rather do the right thing, like, and suff and not have as much fun.

just for like my own like conscience.

But also, I think it's like, we don't have a lot of context on who the person is who passed away.

Cause like, there are some people who, like, you know, they would want you to like go have fun with your friends and not be like, you know, crying in a church.

Like, for me, like, if you have the Met Gala the same day as my funeral, like, I'm saying right here, right now, like, you go to the Met Gala.

Like, I don't want my death to be a burden, you know?

It just depends on the, on the person.

Yeah, that's true.

Just letting you know, like, I wouldn't go to the Met Gala over your funeral for like so many different reasons.

One, because, like, the Met Gala looks so not fun anymore.

You just read that article.

You said you were invited to

Kim's birthday party on Kardashian Island.

I'm telling you, right here, right now, you better go, bitch.

You better.

I'm telling you, I don't know what I would choose because now I have a real Deandrest choice on my hands.

But

I think, like, in order to live with myself, I would go to your funeral.

But even though I'm here real in life, telling you, like, if the opportunity presents itself, like, I want you to go to the island.

No, I just, like, I don't want to be the person who would choose Kim Kardashian's birthday over my sister's alleged hypothetical funeral.

And even if you would want that for me, like, that's just not who I want to be.

Okay.

So, anyways, we're getting off track.

Look inside your heart.

You know, you're, I can't tell you what to do because I don't know who this relation is to you, what relative and how close you were.

And, like, you know, if you're just going because like your full family is going and you should go, or because like

it's deeper than that.

So I would just say, look inside your heart, tune out the noise, make the decision that you want to live with.

That's really good advice.

No pressure.

No pressure.

Yeah.

Like just be able to live with yourself.

Yep.

All right.

Our third and final deer toasters.

Dear Claudia and Jackie, I really need help from two ladies who are in successful marriages.

I'm 28 and have been with my loving boyfriend for three years, but thinking about getting engaged does not make me feel good about us.

I can't figure out what's normal in a relationship, which is why I need your help.

Is it normal to not have butterflies after three years?

They have disappeared completely.

There's nothing wrong with him.

He's perfect in every way, but I can't tell the difference between something that has fizzled and something that is just long-term.

I've tried to spice things up, go on dates, etc., but it's not working.

Recently, I had a work crush.

I work in healthcare and kept getting really intense butterflies when this guy would talk to me.

Totally not my type, but we work with helping children, so maybe that's what it was.

Have I made this up in my head?

Please help.

Is this normal?

Love from the toaster who lost her butterflies.

I just have to say, like, don't listen to what you read in books, to what you watch in movies.

Like, the butterflies literally go a month in.

Like, they're gone.

And I think like, I'm just saying people who are just so unrealistic, like, oh, every time you walk in the room, I get butterflies.

No, like, I saw you five minutes ago.

Like, there's no butterflies.

Like, I just need that to be said.

And I feel like I really love Ben.

Like, we have an amazing marriage.

Like, but butterflies are for dating.

Like, once you get to the stage where you're farting in front of each other, like, of course, there's no butterflies.

And the butterflies, if you male,

you farted at the butterflies.

And if you feel them, it's just gas.

150%.

And I just want to say, do not live your life trying to chase butterflies because then you'll get into a great relationship with someone who gives you butterflies, then the butterflies go away as they naturally do.

And then you find butterflies somewhere else.

Say you jump into that relationship, those butterflies will go away as they naturally do.

You cannot go chasing butterflies to not feel butterflies after three years.

Just go chase

butterfly

butterflies.

To not feel butterflies after three years.

Of course.

Three minutes.

You know, like maybe once every blue moon, say you guys are like getting ready for a wedding and your man shows up like looking so handsome and you're like warm fuzzy feeling.

Like those things happen in long-term relationships like once a year.

Once a decade.

No, okay.

But I do feel like maybe you're just not happy.

Expressing.

No, no, yeah, maybe you're not expressing what you're feeling in

a way that we're able to understand because you're saying you're trying to do date nights and spice things up like just because you're waiting for butterflies to flutter or because like you're waiting to feel something more right like the most concerning thing you said is like we've been together for three years but thinking about getting engaged doesn't make me feel good about us so like I think maybe you're identifying the wrong problem like I don't think the butterfly thing is really what's going on here I think maybe like this is not your person

yeah but I also think if you were taught to believe if you if for some reason you believe that like you are supposed to have butterflies throughout your entire relationship and that if you don't you're not in the right relationship Then of course, like any long-term relationship, eventually when you lose your butterflies, like you'll think it's not the right one for you.

Right.

But like relationship and commitment is about so much more than

butterflies and those feelings.

It's like about two people committed to each other,

wanting the same things, wanting the best for each other.

And it's like, it's more so like friendship and steadiness

than like butterflies and swooning.

No, it's like a real institution.

In the words of Karen Huger, like it's about building a life, building a family, trust.

Like, it's not everything.

And I think that's such a detrimental message in movies and books.

It's like, it's not always like that.

Like, life eventually starts.

After the dating phase and honeymoon, there's just life.

Like, I go to work, my stomach hurts, I have a sore throat.

Like, that's life.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I think we need the toilet seat up.

What'd you say?

You left the toilet seat up.

Yeah.

Right.

And like, it's all fun parts of the real parts of life and marriage.

And it's great.

Yeah.

But it's not butterflies.

Like, and I just think, like, talk to any married person

and they say they get butterflies every day.

Like, they're a liar.

You're talking to a liar.

Yeah, just know that.

Like, don't believe anything else they say because they're fucking lying to you.

It's a funny conversation.

Well, thanks for writing in.

We hope we cleared that up.

And you guys, if you ever want to write in, it's deartoasters at gmail.com.

And if you've written in recently and we've given you advice, you either took it or did not, please let us know.

We won't be offended and we really want to hear from you.

So, write us an update.

And that is our show.

That is our show.

Claudia, it's a pleasure.

Yes, it was a pleasure doing business with you.

And it was a pleasure hanging out with you guys.

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