S4 Ep119: Red Flags: Wednesday, July 7th, 2021

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Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the morning toast.

Yeah, it is my favorite fucking day of the week, you guys.

What day is it?

Wait, what was that?

It's hump day.

So you would never know it because the man of the hour is not here.

Yeah, Theo's not here, which is usually our hump day mascot.

I just had some, I had a crazy busy morning, you know, meetings, meetings, meetings, meetings, meetings, meetings all day, errands, errands, errands.

And it's like, sometimes being, and this is going to be terrible to say, but I know my fellow dog moms will probably be able to relate to it.

Sometimes being a mom has to take a back seat.

Yeah, that's a good message.

Bless you.

And I sneezed on it, which means it's true.

Yeah, no, and also Theo, like, he wanted the day off after his long weekend.

Like, he's just struggling to get back into the groove.

Yeah.

Like so many of us.

Yeah.

But it is hump day.

So by the time the show is over, we'll be over the hump, which you just absolutely love to see.

And by the time you're done watching this, it's probably lunchtime or depending on like where you live, like snack time or maybe even depending on your schedule, like time to go home.

So just let this episode carry you through the treacherousness, but also the joy, the beauty that is hump day because we have an amazing show.

Of course, we've got the fast five stories and they're so fast and they're so five.

There's definitely five of them.

Can't deny it.

No.

And we also have a TV recap of Real Housewives of New York and I will really do everything in my power to have something to say about it because there was really nothing that really went on last night except I think

things might be turning around.

And I think Bernon Shaw is a good addition.

That's where my feelings.

Brashan, I'm so sorry.

I think that's where my feelings are at.

Okay, cool.

We'll talk about it.

Agreed, not much to say.

I'm slowly creeping towards not watching anymore.

Last night I almost tried to get away with it, but I realized I did have the time.

Yeah.

Because I finished my book, The Lion's Den.

I finished it at like 10 o'clock.

It was so good.

You have to read it.

If you like, you know, thriller, mystery, and glamour, The Lion's Den by Catherine St.

John.

It was so good.

Like,

I don't want to give it, I went into it totally blind, so I don't want to give anything away, but I just want to say, like, it just, it pays off.

Okay, I love to hear that.

And then we also have Deer Toasters because it's Wednesday.

We have three brand new submissions from you guys.

And I just love kind of spreading my gospel through Dear Toasters.

And I'm really excited about it.

I'm really excited to hear what's going on with you guys, how we can help, how we can be there for you and support.

But otherwise, it's just another fabulous day of the toast.

And it's Olivia's birthday.

Yes, our big sis is turning 30, which means that's in our future.

Yeah.

It's crazy when the first one turns 30.

Like, that's meant to be us.

That's crazy stuff.

Not to make Olivia's birthday like about me.

No, no, no, not at all.

I would never.

But like, you're me?

Never know.

know never know but it is your birthday soon also it is and following up from yesterday's episode um i did sort of figure out what i wanted to do for my birthday i'm about halfway there so if you haven't received an invitation and you think that you deserve to please reach out to me because i probably just forgot no ill will no ill will okay cool maybe some but no but if you have claude's number if you have my number and like you want to come to my birthday party like just make sure you text me because i am planning it all very like haphazardly yeah and it's really not like like I'm not trying to be mean.

I just like probably forgot.

That's pretty mean also though.

Yeah.

And I'm not going to lie, like maybe some of you I was trying to be mean.

And maybe some of you are forgettable.

Yeah.

And that's kind of on you.

Not on me.

I'm just a human.

Okay.

With an

impaired memory.

Right.

So you want to go ahead and be forgettable towards a girl who can't even remember.

You're setting yourself up for failure.

And again, that's on you.

Yeah.

But again, if you find yourself constantly being forgotten, text me.

Don't forget.

It's really sweet of you, Claude.

So

I'm so magnanimous.

I do what I can for the people.

Thank you.

Well, we're excited to celebrate your birthday, too.

We all want to celebrate each other's birthday.

I think we all have birthdays this week.

But we do want to wish Olivia a very happy birthday.

You know, there's a chance that she watches this because sometimes she does.

No, because she's actually a supportive sister.

Right.

Sometimes she doesn't, but sometimes she does.

So maybe she'll tune in today wondering if we're going to like give her a birthday shout out.

Happy birthday, Lib.

We love you so much.

Like Miss Kay's, mom, everything of the sort.

Do your best.

Like, thank thank you for the pleasure of making us aunties.

Thank you for bestowing the honor upon us of being aunties and also just like popping out like the most premium kid.

Like I'm sure everyone's kid is great and beautiful.

Yeah, but they're not Kayla.

No, no.

They're not.

Oh, no.

And that's a fact.

And that's on what?

Period.

That's an actual fact.

Yeah, yeah, no.

It's not an opinion.

It's a fact.

No, but that harks back to yesterday's story, actual facts.

Oh, right, right, right.

Yeah, that was a dark story.

I liked it.

I enjoy every moment I get to spend with you.

I didn't hear anything from the toasters one way or the other, and no news is good news, and I'm going to take the win.

I couldn't agree more.

Like, sometimes it's nice to just, like, talk about nonsense because, like, I don't really feel like sometimes having an opinion because then, like, I just have to deal with, like, people, like, telling me that I'm wrong.

Yeah, also.

But in the words of Tamara Judge, that's my opinion.

We talk about so much nonsense.

The least we could do is like switch up the nonsense in which we're talking about.

Business nonsense.

Business nonsense.

And also, just having different conversations, you know?

Yeah, like normalize, having different conversations.

Normalize, switching it up.

Switching it up.

Well, I think we have like a nice mix today.

Actually, I'm really excited about the stories today.

A lot, a lot to chat about.

So I think without further ado, to do to do, where are you not here, obviously?

We should get into the fast five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

And I don't really have a savvy transition for today's.

Oh my God.

No, I'm not kidding.

I'm not in the mood to be annoying.

Today's episode is brought to you by.

Is everything okay?

No.

I'm really stressed.

Like, my birthday is really stressful now.

Are you really?

Yes, because like, okay.

Sorry.

Sorry, sorry, spawn.

Sorry, Manscaped.

Just give me one minute.

Because like, and this is the thing with birthdays, and we spoke about this yesterday.

Like, the older you get, the more dumb you feel.

And then I was like, really hell-bent on having a party.

And I know like these are not real problems, so don't like come at me.

I'm just expressing my feelings on my podcast.

And if you don't like it, you are more than welcome to leave.

There's millions of others.

They're not as good, but have fun.

So

enjoy.

No, and like they don't try as hard as we do, but fine.

Have a good time.

They're not sisters.

They don't have Patreon.

They're not available a lot on Spotify.

I students stitch her.

Okay, I'm done.

So I was like, I really want to have a party.

And then when I made the decision to have a party and started sending out invitations, I'm like, wow, I wish I wasn't having this party.

Cause like, you know, three people said they couldn't come.

And I'm like, okay, nobody's coming.

And then I just got like a little insane, like inviting people I've never met, like on Instagram.

I just like that.

You got desperate.

Wow.

Right?

Is that what you're saying?

I don't know if I would say.

You just said inviting people on Instagram, which actually makes me think not what I thought you were going to say, which is like three people couldn't come.

So you you started inviting, you guys, you said.

Tier B.

I haven't gotten to tier B yet.

Yeah, so you didn't get desperate.

You had to get there.

I'm getting there.

Ambitious?

I got ambitious.

I just wanted to be like a fabulous party.

And there's so many people that I talked about on Instagram who, yes, I've never met, but I think they should come to my fabulous birthday party.

I agree.

That's how Instagram works.

Yeah, so now I'm just not that girl, you know, so I'm like having a lot of anxiety.

Like, you know.

Are people going to think it's weird that I invited them, even though I've never met them?

I don't think so.

Think about being in the other person's shoes.

Say this person that you, you know, communicate with on Instagram.

I wouldn't think if they invited you to their party, you would be nothing but flattered.

Okay.

I wouldn't think it's weird.

Right.

But like, if they don't come, like, I'll be sad.

But don't take it personally.

Okay.

Okay.

No, I just don't like having anxiety because I'm a grown woman having a stupid birthday party.

And that's kind of my cross to bear.

Yeah.

And, but you made this choice for yourself.

Thank you for reminding me of that.

No.

And like the thing is about choices, stick with them.

Like, oh, I can't.

Have confidence in your party.

I have no courage of my convictions.

Have confidence in your party.

I'll try.

We'll invite some people.

Sure.

Okay.

No, like whenever I'm having an event and I need people to show up, like Jackie just taps in.

You know in that scene in Legally Blonde where like all the Delta New sisters, like it's like a million boxes and it's like four girls call four girls.

And then it's like 8,000 people show up at the Capitol or whatever.

That is the Colgate network.

I'm like, Jackie, I need some people to fill up this party so I don't look like a loser.

And she invites everyone.

She invites like one person from college and then they all show up.

So I'll let you know if I need the Colgate security line.

Emergency reserves.

Literally.

I'll let you know.

Okay, cool.

But today's episode, I digress, is brought to you by Manscaped.

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Thank you for that, Claudia.

Now I feel prepared to go into our first story of the day, which is some happy couple news.

The only story, I'm not sure if you've seen this, but you probably have.

Page six reports that Olivia Rodrigo is dating producer Adam FaZe.

Yes, I did see a TikTok.

Like, when you're on TikTok, you're just kind of above and like way ahead of the news.

Yes.

So in my IMO, this is some

old HCM.

Nonetheless, I'll still discuss it.

I saw a video of them at Disney World and they were like being cute and there was actually like a lot of couple news that came out of that Disney World trip because they say that Debbie Lovato was there with Noah Cyrus and that the two of them had been rumored to be a couple.

Oh, interesting.

Yeah.

And then this is where Olivia Rodrigo and her mans just kind of blew the whole story open.

Got it.

And also Travis and Courtney were at Disney.

Yes, yes, yes, with the kids.

And so I guess Disney is where you go if you want to take your relationship public.

The driver's licensed singer is dating Hollywood Hollywood producer Adam Faze.

Page six has confirmed the couple stepped out together at the Space Jam, a new legacy premiere at Party at Six Flags Magic Mountain in California last week.

The singer and production company Must Be Nice co-founder have known each other for years and began as friends, they're told.

So a lot of the rhetoric I'm seeing online is people concerned about their age difference.

He's 24, she's 18.

And I don't know, I'm a little, like, I'm a square sometimes, but like, I don't think this is a big deal.

No, this is not the worst

that we've seen.

This is not a million.

Amelia and Scott.

and i just feel like anything remotely less than that should be applauded should be applauded because we know how bad it could be yeah i guess they're just like concerned because age was so much of a factor in her previous relationship that we now know like how toxic it was and how bad it ended but honestly like i when i saw the the age difference maybe i'm just like jaded now i really didn't think it was that big of a deal like 24 year olds are really young i agree

And when I first saw, of course, when I saw she was dating someone, the first thing I went to look was his age because she's so young.

And I don't think it's like the craziest age gap, but I will say there's a huge difference between an 18-year-old and a 24-year-old.

Like, yes,

fundamentally.

But I do think that, and again, this is maybe just me making excuses, but I really do genuinely, genuinely believe that Olivia Rodrigo is not like an average 18-year-old.

She's so successful.

And like when you grow up in the spotlight, like you do age faster.

You are more wise for the most part, not everyone.

But she definitely gives me that vibe of a girl like wise beyond her years, like in the way that she writes.

and just like, she really is very mature.

So I don't know, maybe I'm just making excuses for it, but honestly, every time I remember she's 18, I'm shocked.

Yeah, I would agree with you that being in the spotlight, especially after the year she's had, like, she's definitely an older 18-year-old.

But you know what?

I was just thinking about recently.

I don't know why I was thinking about this.

When you go to college.

Yes.

A lot of freshmen, I went to college, I was 17, which is actually, I just have a late birthday, but it's still, I was 17 when I went to college.

And then there are seniors in college who are 22.

Yeah.

And like they're all together

like yeah, and I was just like wow, that's kind of crazy.

You could be I won't I won't say 17 because

most people

are 18.

18 and you like if a freshman and a senior date like nobody's like this age difference is inappropriate.

Yeah.

And it's 18 22 23 and this kind of feels similar to that.

That's a good call.

Like she's just a freshman in college and he's just a senior.

He's a super senior though.

Yeah.

He like went to the Navy and he had to delay a few years.

He's in a fifth year.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Or he couldn't get enough credits to graduate.

Yeah, for sure.

He can't let the dream die.

Yeah, so I don't know.

It wasn't my first thought.

I will say if that guy was dating a freshman, I would think it was a little weird.

I actually would too.

I guess, I mean, when I first saw it, I really didn't think much of it.

And then people started talking about it.

I'm like, yeah, I guess like six years is...

is a lot for someone who's 18.

It's not a lot when it's like, oh, I'm 26 and this person's 32.

It just depends on like what stage of your life.

Those are really formative years.

Yeah, but I also kind of like trust Olivia Rodrigo, if that makes sense.

Like I trust that she's making the right decisions, you know?

Yeah.

And if they've been friends for a while, that's always a good place to start.

And I just will say, like, compared to some of the other H differences that we've seen, like, on the, on the, on the scale of what's concerning, like, this isn't up there.

No, like, you know how at the beach they have different colored flags for like how crazy the ocean is?

Yeah.

And I think, like, the lowest one is, like, yellow.

Like, this is a yellow flag.

There's maybe some concern, but I wouldn't be too wonderful.

I would say lowest is green.

Oh, I just made that up.

I don't know the actual colors.

I would imagine green is like so good.

Yeah.

Oh, right, like a stoplight.

And then yellow, and then orange, and then red.

Yeah, that's actually a really good color.

But I agree.

It's a yellow.

Yeah, it's a color.

And we need to be worried about the reds.

Yeah, the Amelias and the Scotts.

Yeah.

Agreed.

Okay.

So I'm happy for her that she's in a relationship.

You had previously said that you thought some of her music was just limiting in the sense that she didn't have so much to write about because it's true she's so young she's only had one relationship and it's like honestly at some point we are gonna get tired about hearing about the same relationship so i'm hoping this just breaks open a whole new catalog of music for her totally agree new ideas new fights new arguing new romance new feelings yeah yeah i agree I think, and she's definitely like a romantic, you know.

So I'm happy to see her in a happy couple relationship.

And speaking of happy couple news that we didn't report on, and I want to talk about why we didn't.

Tom Holland and Zendaya have confirmed.

themselves as a couple.

They were spotted like making out in a car and I think there's just been rumors about them forever.

Okay.

And I saw some people commenting and DMing me.

I'm straight.

I can't believe you didn't talk about Tom Holland.

Because I guess like that picture of them kissing was like the confirmation the world needed and so many people stand them.

Okay.

And let me say, I just, I actually have something embarrassing to admit.

I don't really know who he is.

Same.

Okay.

Like, I am truly a pop culture connoisseur.

Like, there is not one celebrity like you cannot quiz me on.

And, like, dead ass, like, who the fuck is Tom Holland?

He's Spider-Man.

Yeah, I just get him confused with like all the other superheroes and like Tom Hiddleston.

There are so many Spider-Men.

No, but what's interesting about this couple is two things.

One, he is not Zach Efron.

And that means Zenday and Zach Efron aren't together.

And that's really hard for us to digest.

And I think that's subconsciously why we didn't want to talk about it because we do ship 100%.

And two,

one notable thing about this relationship is that she's like a foot taller than him.

And I just kind of love to see, you know, our girl Zendaya breaking the norms, you know?

Yeah.

Breaking with tradition.

I agree.

Love to see it.

I'll have to study up on his work.

Yeah, I just know there are a lot of people who are absent.

Avengers, Captain America.

Like, this is just not our genre.

I actually think if you've listened to the show long enough, you know that like we are truly experts in all things pop culture with just a small like in our Venn diagram of things we know the one thing that gets left out is superhero movies like we can't tell Chris Evans from Chris Pine or Chris

Hemsworth Pratt.

Whatever.

We can't tell the Chris is apart.

I've never seen one of those movies and I just honestly choose to be left out of that narrative.

It's just not where I want to be.

Yeah, no, it's a literal whole world that you can't just like know.

Pop into.

Yeah, you can't know a little bit about.

Like you either are all in or you're all out.

And unfortunately, we don't have the time.

But I do think a lot of people's ships like were pulled into the harbor when this news broke so i just wanted to congratulate those people even though we are not one of them we do support you and we love to see ships being built and prospering a hundred percent are you ready for our next story it's a little biz news from kim kardashian oh we have a yeah yeah yeah

kim kardashian is shutting down kkw beauty to launch quote a completely new brand On Tuesday, she announced that she'll be shutting down KKW Beauty next month in order to relaunch the line under a completely new brand.

To our loyal customers, it all started with the contour kit and expanded to eyes, lips, body, and many incredible collections over the past four years.

Can I just say when she released a statement, it really made it seem like she was shutting down KKW Beauty permanently?

So many thoughts, and I think I actually have a little like information that might clear some of that.

As do I.

She said, On August 1st at midnight, we'll be shutting down the kkwbeauty.com site so that we can come back to you under a completely new brand with new formulas that are more modern, innovative, and packaged in an elevated and sustainable new look.

I'm excited to continue to develop and expand my product range and for you to finally be able to experience it in the way that I have always envisioned.

In addition, my team is hard at work to improve the customer shopping experiences.

We'll be able to purchase my beauty and cosmetic offerings in all categories from one single website.

It's oh, okay.

Well, it's important to note that Kylie Cosmetics just did something very similar.

A lot of people didn't even notice that, like, the Instagram got wiped a few months ago and they haven't been selling anything.

The website's been down.

The website has been down.

So, we talked about it briefly.

I thought she was relaunching as like a Kylie Beauty, and it was going to have more categories.

It's actually way more boring than that.

From what I heard, and I don't know if this is true, allegedly, when they did their deals with Cody, they're all involved in a lawsuit.

Kim is involved in a lawsuit with Cody, and separately, Kylie is involved in a lawsuit with Cody from their previous manufacturer.

Yes, and in the deal that they did, they gave away their formulas.

Yes, which belonged to ColourPop, that initial manufacturer.

Yes, and so I don't know where they're at now with Cody, but basically they couldn't be selling those formulas anymore.

So they reformulated everything in order to get away from the legal trouble.

And they did kind of mask it as this rebrand.

We're going to be more sustainable.

Our packaging is going to be different.

We're going to have new logos.

Kim wants everything.

And all of that probably is happening.

But the reason, the motivation behind both of their sites just randomly shutting down during the same time is because of this lawsuit.

And it's very litigious and I don't really understand it.

But they both kind of did the same thing in their deals with Cody was that they sold their formulas, but their formulas belonged to the initial factory that was helping them make it.

I don't know the name.

And that's illegal.

So they're both being sued by this old manufacturer, them and Cody, in two separate lawsuits.

So they had to immediately stop using that formula to make money, which is why they reformulated everything, which takes a lot of time, which is why Kylie was out of commission for a few months.

And July 15th, she's back.

Yes.

Also, but what's interesting about the Kim piece is her saying that's going to be a completely new brand.

I'm sure she's taking the W out.

Yes.

So that's the thing.

And now this will have like her KKW beauty, her fragrances, like every because she has it should have always been that.

She has a lot of categories.

So I'm sure it'll just be like Kim Kardashian beauty.

Yeah, because there shouldn't be different websites for the fragrances, fragrances, for the makeup.

It kind of makes no sense.

And I also feel the same way about Kylie Skin and Kylie.

Yeah, it should just be Kylie Beauty.

Yeah.

So we'll see July 15th if Kylie is going to bring everything into one place as she should.

Yeah.

But does that get fucked up with Cody?

Does Cody own fragrance?

And does Cody own Kylie skin?

No, because they have KKW Beauty and they bought Kylie Cosmetics.

So they have to be separate websites because they're two separate companies.

Or they're breaking with Cody.

No, no, no, no.

But they're in a lawsuit.

How do you go back to work?

They're together.

They're both being sued together, but they're like, they're both wrong.

They committed the crime together from the other manufacturer.

So they're like, they committed the crime together.

They're fully partners.

Okay.

I think the Cody deal is still, it has to be.

It's already done.

Okay, okay, cool.

But they need to still make money.

So they had to just come up with new random formulas.

Hopefully they're better.

Yeah.

I did have some problems with some of the Kylie products, so I'm ready.

I always liked them at the time, but I'm always down for, you know, new formulations.

Reformulations.

I do think it'll be really interesting to see what happens with the name.

But it is like annoying.

A few times I needed some restock of some products and I couldn't go to Kylie.

It's been months.

It's crazy.

She's also now launching Kylie Baby.

We know nothing about it other than the fact that she created the Instagram and it has 700,000 followers and it's never posted anything before.

She just tagged like a picture of Stormy with it.

Don't know if that's going to be a Cody venture, but looking forward to buying some things for Kayla.

Always looking forward to whatever's next.

Looking forward to hearing what Kim calls her brand.

Yeah.

KK Beauty is not great.

But Kim Kardashian.

Or like,

they used to have so many like makeup lines before like these two official big ones when they were in like Sears and stuff.

They had Kardashian Beauty.

They had KK Beauty.

Olivia still has one of their hairbrushes.

Oh, no, I think that was like Kardashian hair.

Yeah, they just had like so many random lines.

They had pretty good shit.

Yeah.

I used their hairspray forever.

Yeah.

But that's like OG, like Sears collection.

Yeah, that was licensing deals at Western Biz.

That wasn't their own brands.

So this is super interesting biz news for sure.

Super interesting biz news.

And I hope we've shed some some light on the situation for you.

Yeah.

Because people were really shook.

And I guess if you don't know that piece of like formula news.

You're like, oh, cool.

She's rebranding.

But like, who cares?

No, that's really shocking to shut down your site.

Right.

No, because there's obviously something bigger going on.

You don't shut down your site for like a new logo.

Yeah.

Totally.

Are you ready for our next story, which is some really sweet news?

Yeah.

Matt Mauser gives a tearful audition on America's Got Talent a year after his wife Christina's death in the helicopter crash with Kobe Bryant.

Wait, what?

So Matt Mauser is a man who auditioned for America's Got Talent this week.

His wife was on the helicopter with Kobe Bryant, and she passed away.

Oh, my God.

And he tried out for America's Got Talent because he's like really passionate about music.

And he sang.

And he sang.

Oh, my God.

That's so cute.

And do you want to know what he sang?

Oh, am I going to cry?

You might.

What?

Against all odds.

Oh, my God.

By Phil Collins and Gavin DeGras.

And Gavin DeGras.

It's by Phil Collins.

I pulled the cover of it.

It was really good.

First of all, I absolutely love that song.

It's really really such an underrated song.

And we don't talk about it enough because Phil Collins' daughter ruined Emily in Paris, but we should talk about it more because it's such a stunning song.

And honestly, I don't think I can watch this audition.

I will cry.

It's really emotional.

Spoiler alert, he got the buzzers, and he's going through.

That is so cute.

Yeah, and he just talks about the year that he's had.

He talked about it on stage.

Yeah.

And it must be so hard.

It must be, yeah, really hard.

And just a really beautiful audition.

So I think you should watch it in your own time.

In my own time.

I'm just like not in the headspace for that yet, but that's really sweet.

I'm sure he was really good too.

Yeah, no, he was good.

And he had said that

like before the accident, he and his wife had quit their job so he could focus on his music.

And then she got a job coaching basketball.

Oh, wow.

So.

Oh, man, that's so sad.

So sad, but just a really great story and audition.

Yeah.

America's Guy Talent, like, really has got talent.

For sure.

Even though, like, do people really get famous off of that show?

I don't know anyone who's like.

I feel like sometimes, but no, I don't know.

Yeah.

I feel like the age of people going on like talent shows and becoming famous is kind of over.

Sometimes it still happens with the voice, but it's usually not the winner.

But it's also not because of the voice.

It's like...

It's because of Blake Shelton.

Like, he made Morgan Wallen famous and he made like Raylin famous.

Did he make Morgan Wallen famous?

I don't know.

Morgan Wallen's just like fun fact about him.

He was on the voice.

Yeah, I'm not sure.

I don't think he like me on that.

I don't think any, I don't know if any of his success is from the voice.

No, it's just like so weird.

Like, what has happened to literally every single person who's won the voice?

I don't know.

And like back in the day, if you won American Idol, like that was it.

Like Carrie Underwood, Kelly Clarkson, even people who didn't win.

Catherine McPhee, Daughtry, Jennifer Hudson.

Daughtry.

They didn't even win and they became a star.

And then there was X Actor, Fifth Harmony.

Like, and then all of that just kind of stopped.

And like the voice and Records Got Talent are good shows, but they don't really produce stars like they used to.

And I think that that's because the Simon Cowell effect.

Like,

when you literally run the music industry, you just pluck Fifth Harmony from the show and put them.

I also just think it's a little oversaturated, and like people have so many things that they could watch.

And I just think it's when there was one show and everybody was watching American Idol, but it's not like that anymore.

I do miss those days, like when we all were a part of something.

Yeah.

And I feel like now it's so hard to become a part of something these days.

And that's why we really, really miss the crisis at the Suez Canal.

We really do.

Suez, we're always thinking of you.

Yeah.

Always thinking of Suez.

Are you ready for our next story?

Is it the fifth and final or the fourth?

Okay.

It's the fourth, and it's some sad news.

What?

Some sad pet news.

No.

Real House Eyes of Potomac alum, Monique Samuels, mourns the death of her pet parrot, T'Challa.

She says the pain is intense.

No, that was like really shocking.

And I just feel like Monique has had a really hard year with like, you know, being ambushed by Andy at the reunion and none of the women having her back and then having to choose to leave the show because it was so toxic.

And T'Challa was kind of like her saving grace, I think.

And I was really, really devastated when I heard this news just because I know how sad Monique must have been.

And she did say it was a freak accident.

She's just so sad.

And like the nosy ass bitch in me just like kind of wants to know what happened.

Yeah, well, she said on July 1st, around 5 p.m., my entire world was rocked.

My T'Challa was killed in a freak accident.

She went on to write that she can barely utter his name without crying, adding that the pain of losing T'Challa is indescribable.

The pain is intense, and I'm just completely baffled, overwhelmed, and cannot stop the emotional roller coaster I am on right now.

My children keep breaking down which makes the pain even worse.

Oh the kids, the camber.

The camber.

She went on to reference the incident where T'Challa went away last August, but he came home on his own.

She said, I had no idea God was preparing me in that moment for the unbearable.

Oh my God, I'm actually going to cry.

Like losing a pet is literally the worst thing ever.

And I just feel like we've all kind of been on this journey with T'Challa.

Like we met him on the show and then like postseason, we were all really invested when he ran away.

Like there was like real housewife support search groups like on the ground in Potomac looking for Ch'Challa, and he flew home, and it was like such a win for us, especially a win for Monique when I think she needed it the most.

Um, and I'm just devastated.

I really do feel like T'Challa is kind of symbolic of the journey Monique has been on on the show, and that journey is coming to an end.

And, like, I don't know, I'm just trying to like find some silver lining, like make a nice speech, but it's just terrible.

It's terrible.

Thank you for your sweet words.

Thank you.

And I'm really, I actually am like sending a lot of love and condolences to T'Challa's family and

to Samuels.

Me too.

It's really sad.

Now are you ready for our fifth and final story?

Is it Colin Joseph's Carl Johansson having a baby?

Because you didn't talk about that.

And I feel like...

No, I didn't see it anywhere.

What?

It's like the biggest news.

I didn't see it.

Well, let's talk about it.

She's pregnant.

I think she's like literally about to give birth.

Like, they're not fucking around.

Who's announcing this news?

Page six got the exclusive.

I'm on page six and there's been many a whisper on you know blogs and radio i heard the whispers but to me

that's not like i wouldn't report a whisper no it's like it's true yeah okay i see it on page six and she's like seven months pregnant like i say hit it yeah she's actually due soon yes so let's talk about colin jost as a father okay specifically my father

i am happy for him obviously um but it's just a rough week for you yeah like this is again just like another story kind of with this narrative that is attacking me and my happiness and my inner peace and my joy.

Because while it's wonderful, a baby's coming into the world and that baby is going to have Colin Jost as a daddy, it's hard just knowing like I'm not going to be a part of it.

Yeah.

And I think a lot of people feel that way.

And you're not going to be a part of it in any way, shape, or form.

No, like.

Not at all.

Not at all.

And I guess that's hard for you to grapple with.

Yeah, and like just like watching Colin Jost like become a father.

Like I just feel like that would be really cool to watch and I do wish I was a part of it like even like can I be I'll become a doula like you know like I just you would be the absolute worst.

Yeah.

I'd be like ow

yeah.

Oh my god.

No.

Yeah.

Well, I'm sorry for you.

I'm happy for them, but I am sorry for you once again.

No, and I think that there's definitely a lot of us like a support group of people who are feeling like really happy because like this has been a really beautiful journey to watch them on.

Like 100%.

I really stand them so hard as a couple.

Like I have such an enormous yacht for them.

But as I do with, like, a lot of couples that I ship, like, I would say 80-20, you know, super happy for them.

20%.

That should be me.

Holding his hand.

That should be me.

Making you laugh.

That should be me.

So, happy for you guys.

What do you think the baby is going to be called?

Claudia?

I don't know.

Claudia is a really pretty name.

Yeah, but honestly, I don't want it to become too oversaturated and that I'm just like one of a million Claudias.

So please don't use that name.

I'm going to stop suggesting it to people.

Like, that's always my joke.

People tell me they're pregnant.

I'm like, are you going to name your your baby Claudia?

That's a really good joke.

You know, it's like, so stupid.

And no, don't fucking name your baby Claudia.

Like, we are one of a kind.

Yeah, I agree.

I was at a bachelorette party a few weeks ago with another girl named Claudia and I've never felt more invisible in my life.

Like it was actually painful.

You know, me, I'm like so annoying, need to be the center of attention.

And like.

The other girl, Claudia, was like more well-known amongst the group of friends than me.

Oh, you were the lesser Claudia.

Oh, every time someone said Claudia, I would turn around like it was not for me.

And it's so crazy.

I was on a bachelor's party.

I was on a bachelorette party two weeks ago with another Jackie.

You were?

Yes.

And what's so crazy is so, like, throughout the weekend, I heard people saying, Jackie, they weren't talking to me.

And then we were sitting around.

My truckers for Jackie are here.

Thanks, guys.

Love you.

We were sitting, we were having lunch, and everyone was talking about how there's so many people at the table with the same names.

There was like two Samanthas, two Jackie's, two Casey's.

And I was just like, oh my God, I literally didn't even realize that someone else on the trip had the same name as me.

Isn't that fun?

Because you're so confident, like, in your name.

Like, even when I heard Jackie and it wasn't for me, like, it didn't register that, like, there's another Jackie.

Yeah, I feel like some people it happens to all the time.

Like, Ben Saffer, like, oh my god, it's not even a thing.

Like, everyone has the name Ben.

Like, if you're living in New York and you're Jewish, like, it's just, but for me, like, if you don't get it a lot, it's very disarming to be in the presence of someone with the same name as you.

Like, it's actually straight up disrespectful.

Like, you need to leave.

Yeah.

But in that situation, like, you needed to leave.

100%.

I was like the lesser of two Claudias and it was devastating.

Yeah.

That can be, that can be hard.

Yeah.

But I'm sure it may be stronger.

I don't know about that, honestly.

I kind of just

was like a self-hating Claudia the whole week, the whole weekend.

Oh, we hate to see it.

But we still have a fifth and final story that we didn't get to.

Okay.

Is that okay with you?

It is.

I mean,

you do kind of smell.

So I think we should fix that before.

I think you need a different segue into whatever you're going to say next.

Okay, I think I kind of smell.

Good.

And I think before we dive into the fifth and final story, I need to douse myself in some scent bird.

I agree.

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Silence!

Smell amazing.

Thank you for that, Claudia.

You're welcome.

Now I feel ready to go into our fifth and final story because you're going to need Scentbird if you walk into this place.

No, you'll know exactly what I have to say.

It's about Subway.

Oh.

Subway is grasping for a lifeline as Americans shun the aging brand.

So Subway is going for a rebrand.

I feel like we just reported on this like three years ago.

Yeah, but no, I think it's gotten worse since three years ago, especially because of COVID.

So I'm reading this article.

It's actually really interesting.

You know, there are more Subway locations than there are McDonald's.

I can see that.

But

fewer than one in 10 Subway stores has drive-throughs.

So they didn't, they, even though like fast food took off in the pandemic, like subway didn't oh that's because majorly stupid yeah so they are doing a whole you know revamp oh wait i guess i never thought about that you're right like i actually have

not never but most of the time if i pass a subway like not in the city it's always in the middle of a shopping of a shop yeah or like a

What are those things called where like all the stores are?

A shopping center.

Shopping center.

Yeah.

It's always just like a storefront.

It's not its own freestanding store and that's why they don't have drive-thrus.

But I guess I never thought about it until this moment like subways don't have drive-thrus and that's the dumbest fucking thing they need drive-thrus because if they had drive-thrus if you had a drive-through you would know what it's like to not walk into a subway and smell like subway yeah and that's the other thing that's the worst part about subways you can't shake that subway smell but a drive-through would solve that no a hundred percent and two like maybe they could just solve the smell problem like where is it coming from let's eliminate the threat like

like we why do we have to build a whole structure they should get drive-throughs no but why do they have to build a whole structure just to get rid of the smell like how about just you know like clean your toilets or whatever the fuck that smell is?

No, it's like this smell of like deli meats and sandwiches, and it's just so atrocious.

Well, that's the other thing.

Yeah, I just want to let you know, like the revamp is not even about getting drive-throughs.

That's just like, that's just a reason why

they didn't pop off this year like so many other fast food chains.

They are going with a new biggest change called the Eat Fresh Refresh.

They're rolling out two new bread recipes, several on-trend premium ingredients, and a handful of new sandwiches plus nationwide delivery service.

It is hoping these changes will lure diners back to its stores after five straight years of declines.

Skeptics of the brand say it won't be so simple.

Yeah, they do need like gluten-free bread for those freaks.

Sorry, not freaks.

I know you have celiacs.

That was a joke.

Like, please, celiacs, do not come for me.

It was a joke.

They need vegans, vegan options for those freaks.

Sorry, vegans are freaks.

And like they, people's diets are shifting and we're like living in such, you know, specific times where everyone has a diet.

And like a lot of people aren't eating like sweaty cold turkey.

And that's just kind of the same shit they've been offering since we were kids.

And it's really not cutting it anymore and

it's gross so they just kind of need a whole recipe revamp and I think that's what they're gonna try to do but I don't know it might be too late I feel like that association with subway is just already so damaged and also the words subway and fresh are just so incongruous one because like subway the store is like so gross but also like the subway no nobody wants to be thinking about train when they're eating a sandwich i completely agree the association is awful yeah and i get that it's meant to be like sub sandwiches and it's like this, this way to the subs.

Like I get it.

It's not about the train, but I don't think of it as a sandwich when I hear Subway.

I think of literally the train.

No, and I'm sure when they came up with the name Subway, they were like, oh, and it's like the Subway LOL.

But then the Subway like just took such a

downward turn that now it's it's hurting the associate.

But I do want to say it's not all bad.

Like there are very redeeming qualities about Subway.

Like the soda machines are excellent and they do have free refills.

Like let's kind of lean into that from a marketing space.

They have top-notch chocolate chip cookies.

Like, let's lean into that.

Let's do like a three-for-one cookie special.

I don't know.

Like, I don't work in marketing, but I just feel like they really could be playing up their strengths while they work on their weaknesses, aka pretty much everything behind that.

plastic screen.

Right.

And like, people love sandwiches.

I feel like there's they can

sandwiches.

Right.

And I think even like Mike's Jersey Subs does amazing.

It's amazing.

So I think those are two different franchises.

Jersey Mike's.

Jersey Mike.

Jersey Mike's.

And then Jimmy Johns.

Yeah, Jimmy Johns is the other one.

And they do well, but they're regional.

Subway is national.

And I feel like

they put some love into their products.

No.

And they care about the smell of their stores.

Like,

you can't even get in the door at Subway for me.

No, and it's like, you have to literally wear a hazmat suit because your clothes will smell like Subway for the end of time.

So either get a drive-thru so we don't have to walk in or

get an exterminator.

No, and the thing is, like a lot of successful

a lot of successful fast food brands, like the shit you're eating, like, I know when I'm eating a McNagot, like, that this chicken fell off the back of a truck.

Like, I know that it's gross, but it tastes so good.

And, like, I'm so pleased with the experience that I really don't care.

But when you're eating a Subway sandwich, like, because it's such a lackluster, disgusting experience, like, you can't help but focus on, like, where did this turkey come from?

You know, he literally was abandoned by its parents, thrown off a truck.

hit by a bus 20 years ago.

20 years ago, had sat in this freezer in this random subway in Minnesota for six months months until it was thrown out, but then some other subway franchise picked it up.

Like, it's just so glaringly obvious that you're eating trash, where it's like, we all know we're eating trash at McDonald's, but it's such a fabulous experience.

Like, we couldn't care less.

And like, it tastes good.

So, like, at the end of the day, that's literally all that matters.

And Subway does not taste good.

And I think we need to talk about it.

I think

you can taste.

I also just want to like really recap this segment with an apology to the vegan and the gluten-free community.

Like, those were jokes, like, 100%.

And I'm just really not in the mood for like a pit bull kind of situation.

So I really apologize.

They were jokes.

And I think you're all lovely, beautiful, studying, and smart people.

And to each their own.

100%.

I'm not yucking other people's yums.

I'm just like a funny person.

And, you know, I put others down to be funny.

And that's something I'm working on.

Thank you, Claudia.

I think that's really mature.

Yeah.

I'm actually not working on it because it's really funny.

But

I'm sorry.

I really am.

Okay.

Thank you so much.

So that's your Subway recap.

Good luck to you guys.

I mean, maybe with you fix the taste, that'll fix the smell, but it should go, should be top priority for you.

I don't have a lot of hope.

I'm not going to lie for this rebrand because they just I remember we reported they used to be Subway sandwiches right and then they just became Subway like they've rebranded they got rid of Jared rebranded in like a branding sort of way just to make it more modern they got rid of Jared as they should yeah and let's not talk about Jared and what he did to the brand right so I do feel like even though they they did the right thing of course separating themselves from Jared That was kind of irreparable damage.

Yeah, it was like a big shit stain on the underwear of Subway.

Because you can't think think of like, when you go down like the Subway rabbit hole, it's like Subway, Jared from Subway, Jared from Subway.

Yeah.

Jared from Subway.

No, no, no, no.

So

they have a lot of work cut out for them.

And I'm so glad I don't work for Subway because I don't really like to work hard.

Yeah, but I think, you know, if they can do this, they can definitely win some ad age awards or something.

Yes, yes, yes.

It's done properly.

It's a great opportunity for...

for a rebranding agency to win an award.

Yeah, and I guess they really never put together that Subway is one of, if not the biggest franchises in the country because there are more of them than McDonald's.

Crazy.

I would have assumed McDonald's was the biggest franchise.

Me too.

Just in terms of location, revenue.

I'm sure McDonald's makes more money than Subway.

Yes.

Because McDonald's is actually delicious, Michelin star food.

Yeah, because it's not going down, down, down.

Nigga, down, down, down.

Oh, I was thinking, we're going down, down, and all.

Any of the songs apply to Subway.

Yeah.

Any and all.

Okay, those are the past five stories.

I feel as though you needed to know them.

And why don't you pick up a Subway sandwich while you're at it?

Yeah, no.

And don't come near me.

Now let's dive into the TV recap segment.

Real houseways of New York.

But also, I just want to say, like, you know, there are people out there, your husband included, who like the smell of Subway.

He loves, loves, loves.

Like, he thinks it's a special part of the experience of going to Subway.

And so now I feel like it might be like a cilantro sort of thing where you either love it or hate it.

It's just like in your DNA.

I just think like it's better to go with the safe option if I work at Subway just to get rid of it completely.

To get rid of the smell.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's like the smell of gasoline.

What do you think about it?

Because I think it's delicious.

It It doesn't bother me.

But you don't like crate it.

No, I wouldn't say that I crate it.

No, but I don't mind it.

Like, it's like, ooh, gasoline.

Yeah, what about the smell of a Sharpie?

I try not to sniff markers, but if it wafts in my direction,

I don't mind it.

Okay.

Let's dive into TV recap.

The Real Housewives of New York headed to Salem, which like honestly, and I know this is going to offend a lot of people.

So again, really apologize, but this is just my opinion on my podcast.

I just like hate like spooky, like ghosts, like people who are like obsessed with spirits and like cemeteries.

Don't get me wrong, I participate in a good seance every now and then.

I literally did a Ouija board a couple weeks ago.

I like I get the fun of it, but people whose like personalities it is to like be obsessed with spooky ghosts and like staging their room.

Like, I just find that like a really annoying personality trait.

And I was just getting a lot of that energy on the episode last night.

Okay, I agree with you.

Generally speaking, I do think that Salem is so rich in history that I can

give a pass.

Like, I can give a pass, and like, it's all part of the story.

And that's what you get when you go to Salem.

And if you watch that movie with Adam Sandler, his

Halloween movie, what was it called?

Like, Dewey Something?

The Netflix one?

Yeah, I didn't see it.

They live in Salem.

Yeah.

So Halloween's like a really interesting deal.

Then you might have more of an appreciation for Salem.

That's possible.

I just wanted to put it out there.

Like, one of my biggest pet peeves is like people who are obsessed with spirits.

And there was just, like, I was getting a lot of that energy.

You know, we get that, like, once a season on every house.

I know.

Yeah.

And it's really annoying.

I totally agree.

Stasi used to do it all the time on Vanderprump Rules.

And I, like, liked Stasi, but that whole, like, I want to get married in a cemetery, like,

I just didn't relate to it.

Yeah.

Um, and so I was just getting a lot of that energy on Rail Houses in New York last night, and it was...

It was frustrating.

Yeah, I agree with you, like, spooky.

But also, I think it's almost like Halloween.

It's okay.

It's driving me.

I really liked the part of the show where Ebony and Sonia went to Philadelphia in that literally luxury-ass sprinter man.

Like, that's all I could think about, was how fabulous that was.

It reminded me of Scott Distick's mobile office from me too.

I was just like, I didn't know where they were going yet.

I thought maybe they were on their way to Salem and they were

everyone up in the sprinter.

And I was like, wow, this is so amazing.

And the windows were so tinted.

I was like, is it night?

Are they in the tunnel?

Like, where?

It was just like so

fabulous and fascinating.

I completely agree.

And I agree.

It was a highlight of the episode for me.

Yeah, like, I felt like it was like a safe space for Sonia to talk about her ex-husband, which like even though she talks about her old life all the time, I actually don't know that much about her old marriage.

Yeah, and she always gets cut off.

Yes.

So it's like, if you just let her like finish what she wants to say, and also you are going to meet a matchmaker like your past is important.

Pertinent to the situation.

I agree, like when she's just talking about it, not like bragging the morgan ladder.

Right.

She's not like off the rails about it.

It's interesting.

Yeah, because like I think a lot of people forget, and it's true, like Sonia Morgan is like Gray Gardens.

Like, yeah, we get it.

But like, she lived

a life for a while that was the top 1% of the 1%.

It is a life nobody gets to experience.

It is the ultimate wealth.

I can't even explain it.

And like, it's a joke now, but I actually would love when she's like sober and serious to hear more about that.

And I never thought I would say that because it's like this running joke, but it actually is really, really interesting.

Like she was basically like a royal of America, Morgan, Rockefeller.

Like, yeah, it's, it's like a Vanderbilt.

Like, it's unbelievable.

Yeah.

So I actually did enjoy hearing her speak kind of coherently about that, like what they used to do together.

And I just thought it was really interesting.

And I thought, like, I really feel like

I like Ebony a lot.

And part of where I've really learned to like her so much is how she is so kind to Sonia.

and like sees her being like trampled on by the other women.

And like we see that too, but it never like

stuck with me the way it has this season because Ebony pointed it out.

Yeah, sometimes you have to see it through someone else's eyes in order to realize what's happening.

Yeah, so I thought it was a really sweet scene, and I hope that it works.

Like, I hope that she gets set up with someone, like, so fabulous.

I, it was really cute.

I agree.

Um, and so then the women arrived in Salem in an RV that honestly was really funny, and it reminded me of the Beerman's RV trip this summer.

It reminded me of Real House House of Dallas when they took the

RV to Oklahoma.

Oklahoma.

Yeah.

It was a cute little addition.

Like they're all obviously having to get creative with COVID.

Yes.

And then the episode ended where they were having drinks and fighting about politics in Salem.

And honestly,

like everyone was just like talking over each other.

And I just sometimes want to like strangle Ramona.

Like just sit, like, she makes situations worse for herself.

Like, just sit and like converse.

And like, you just being so obviously trying to change the subject is going to bother Ebony.

So just let her finish.

But then also I feel like Leah's like a little condescending.

Like I was just everyone was everyone was bothering me for different reasons.

Agreed.

And I couldn't follow even the conversation.

Then like Ramona gets up and it's like, Ramona, just like, okay, I get that you don't want to talk about politics, but like every time you make it a big deal, like you make the conversation worse and like bigger and you make yourself look so bad.

Like just sit down and nod your head.

Like have some respect.

Someone's trying to speak to you about their experience.

Like just have some respect.

Yeah.

So it was just frustrating.

It was frustrating on all counts because I agree Ramona makes things worse for herself and you're just like, it's ridiculous.

But then on the other hand, not everybody needs to talk about politics.

So she can sit there and nod her head, but...

the other women are sort of goading her into talking about politics.

But a lot of people, that's private for them.

And it's clear like that Ramona stands on a certain side politically and she doesn't want to talk about it, but those are her opinions.

And they're just trying to kind of like expose that in Ramona.

And she's just like not giving it to them at all.

And I do think, like, if she really does want to avoid the subject, she's not handling it great.

I agree.

I think it's her right to avoid the subject, but she should be.

Fine, sure.

She can go about it better.

She should go about it better.

Yeah.

But all in all, like, the season is just like really dragging on.

And it's kind of annoying.

I do love Brashon.

Like, her whole story about getting cancer is so crazy.

Oh, my God.

When she was like saying how, you know, she had just, well, I think she was saying it in her confessional, like that she, or maybe to the women, she was like, I had to find out I was dying in order to wake up.

And she was like, and now that I'm awake, like nothing and nobody scares me.

I'm not going to be held back by anything.

And I was just like,

inspired and moved by that.

I agree.

I love her.

I actually think she has a lot of potential.

I'm interested why they, because she does have such a big personality, why they cast her as a friend of.

I don't know.

When I actually think she has more than enough of,

like a dynamic to like she is friends with Ramona.

Yeah.

Why she shouldn't just be a full-time cast member because I actually think I don't know what her personal life is like but she said she was married to a British banker like she sounds like she has stories to tell right I hope that you know this is just a trial and that we will see more of her yeah because she is definitely adding to the dynamic because it is so boring

and honestly like it's iwatchable like i literally am on my phone for 95 of the episode it's so it's so bad like i'm just letting you know if it continues down this way i'm not going to be prioritizing watching it and yes i do know that i watchable is not a word i just wanted to put that out there.

But when it comes to Real Houses of New York, it doesn't matter.

It honestly is so unwatchable, they needed a new word.

Reptiles.

We need a new word for Dutch.

Oh, my God.

We are so over.

It's over.

It's Cinderella's story.

No, we just had that conversation.

Oh, we just had that conversation.

Oh, my God.

My amnesia is getting so bad.

Yeah.

All right.

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First up, dear toasters.

Hi, queens.

Let's make a long story short, because this one is a doozy.

A few months ago, my boyfriend convinced himself I slept with his roommate/slash best friend when all I did was sleep in on a Monday after a bender of a weekend.

It's been a bumpy ride, but I've been sticking it out because I love him a lot and we live together.

A couple of my friends are moving around the city, and I have a new housing, a few new housing opportunities.

Should I decide to end things with my boyfriend?

Oh no.

She phrased this weird.

A couple of my friends are moving around in the city and I have a few new housing opportunities.

Should I decide to end things with my boyfriend?

That was a weird way.

I really don't want to make,

I really don't want to.

I'm sorry, some days I feel like I can't read.

I really don't want to, but would kick myself in the ass if I stay and things are shitty.

We've been working to make things better, but now he wants me to take a polygraph test to prove my innocence.

I'm not worried that I'll fail, but it just sounds like too much.

If you have such little faith in me, then why are we together?

Am I being crazy for setting this boundary for myself?

Would you take the test?

Love, a remiss, devastated, and heartbroken toaster.

Bye.

There's the door.

I will come over.

I will come over and pack your bags for you.

You are literally dating dating the most paranoid, crazy, crazy motherfucker.

A polygraph test, like that's nuts.

He does not trust you.

Does not.

Does not trust you.

And things would only get worse in this regard.

You've got to go.

Like, even before you said polygraph, I was just like, if he's convincing himself of something, like, what else is he going to convince him?

He's convincing himself of.

But a polygraph test, that's when you know your relationship.

And he's only your boyfriend, like, goodbye.

Good day, sir.

Is your boyfriend Lisa Vanderpump?

I'm just curious because only dramatic reality stars and YouTubers take polygraph tests because they also don't even work.

No.

Oh, right.

That.

So pack your bags, buy a ticket, leave his ass.

Yeah.

Like, he's so crazy.

Like, he's like, this is just like a red flag.

It might not seem like the biggest deal, even though it kind of is a big deal, but it's such a red flag.

This leads to such weird, toxic patterns and behaviors.

The first half was a red flag.

Yeah.

The polygraph.

I'm sorry.

The first half was an orange flag.

The polygraph is a red flag.

No, we stay out of these waters.

Stay out of these waters.

They are choppy and turned.

Do not swim in the sea.

I was just going to say.

Do not take risks on Chester's Roads.

Move in with your friends.

Move in with your friends.

And you're going to have like such a fun hacker summer with your friends, like living in a new apartment.

Like, get the fuck out.

This guy sounds so crazy.

I just hope we're making ourselves clear.

Like, we're not, like.

Yeah, because I feel like we actually, when we do relationship questions, we don't always jump to break up because I think there are a lot of things two people can work through via good communication.

There's a lot of nuance in one issue.

Yes.

So I, and two sides to every story.

So I really don't like to push the red button, like break up, but this is a red button.

We need a red button for deer toasters for when there's no choice but to leave yeah all right next up jackie and claudia my parents got divorced when i was young me and my sister daisy were seven and four respectively my mom got remarried to my stepdad who has kids with similar ages my sister and i grew up having somewhat of a long distance relationship with our stepfamilies since they lived across the country but every year we would get together and bond slash stay in touch since we've all grown up we continue to stay connected even though we all live in different places for example Us siblings go on ski trips or weekend trips here and there.

That sounds so nice, like that blended movie.

Yeah.

Here's where the dilemma comes in.

My sister Daisy got engaged recently.

Yesterday I received a package in the mail.

I opened it and I saw a card on top of goodies titled Bridesmaid.

I was like, okay, okay, I guess this is just a generic card.

I go on to read her card and come to learn that she is not choosing me for maid of honor because of, quote, the strain it would put on our extended family.

I called her excitedly to accept the position, didn't mention the maid of honor thing at all, and then hung up and proceeded to bawl my eyes out.

eyes out.

Is it wrong to feel like she should have picked someone?

Is she really going to choose a possibility of confrontation with our stepsister/slash step family over having a maid of honor?

In my biased opinion, why would picking your sister as a maid of honor cause conflict within the step family?

My question to you is: do I say anything or do I just let it be?

Sincerely, a confused toaster.

See, this is tough because when it comes to people's weddings, like I very much say, like, it's not about you.

Like, just be a good friend and like, be quiet.

But, like, I do really am curious, like, why

this girl, Daisy, would think it would be offensive to her stepsister if she chose her, I don't know what the right word is, like full sister, blood sister as her maid of honor.

Like, yeah, I don't know.

I get, that's, it's a little bit of a stretch.

I'm sure she has her reasons.

I just,

I wouldn't put this much stock in like this maid of honor thing.

If she had a friend as a maid of honor and she didn't choose her sister, I think you could, you should, could be upset.

But like, she's not having a maid of honor.

It's such

nonsense.

Some of the stake jobs.

You know, like, it's just like a figurehead position.

I just, I hate to see you get so upset over something that really, like, she's her sister.

I'm assuming you guys have a great relationship, and, like, nothing, no dumb shit like this should, should mean more than your actual relationship.

But it makes me sad that you're sad about it.

I just,

like, I get it.

But it's also her day.

Like, it's really not about you.

So, like, and it's not like she chose someone over you.

She just, like, foregoed having a maid of honor.

Maybe because we didn't have maid of honors, I just don't see the, but I guess.

Like, because I like, I just don't care about them.

Cause I, like, I have three sisters.

So I.

That was just never

think.

So I think that people put too much

stock and emphasis on maid of honor and these sort of titles and positions.

But you're hurt about it.

So I don't think you should make it a big deal because I don't think it is a big deal.

Me neither.

You know,

I hope you can come to terms with it because that's really sad.

Yeah, I think this is something you need to work out within yourself.

Yeah.

Like.

And not bring it up, even though you probably are entitled to feel that the way you want to feel.

But some battles are just not worth taking on.

Agreed.

I would argue most battles are not.

Agreed.

Battles are exhausting.

And then you get anxiety.

Like, just don't.

All right, third and final.

Hello, queens and Dr.

Theo.

I've been toasting for just over two years, and I finally need some words of wisdom.

Sorry that it's so long.

It's not long.

My boyfriend and I got together just before quarantine, so we didn't spend a ton of time with our friends in the start, but our state was not as strict as most.

Since the middle of last summer, we've spent a lot of time with his group of friends, whom I've really grown to love, but there's always an ex of my boyfriends either brought up or brought around.

At first, I tried to be cool.

I know everyone has a past, but literally every time we're all together, one of his friends brings up and makes jokes about people he used to date, or they actually invite these girls to the bigger events we have, like birthdays, baby stuff, and most recently, the 4th of July.

Like the 4th of July.

Like the 4th of July.

Now, I know everyone has a history, but at this point, it's getting old, and they never truly make an effort to be kind to me with me being the newest one to this old group of friends.

They'll literally say to him and not me, and wait, sorry, they'll literally say hi to him and not me, and essentially pretend I don't exist.

I told my my boyfriend that at least a heads up would be nice that these other women will be there and he agrees but it's not like his friends really give him a heads up either as a result i really don't want to be part of their summer but i don't want to keep my man from his friends either how do i go about getting some respect from these women or how do i not care so much about them being around sincerely a fed up toaster i just want to say one thing

i Hear you say that you hang out with his group of friends and you've grown to love them.

I just want to know what's to love about this group.

They sound really fucking mean and like so immature.

Like remember when Shep brought that girl Austin out of threesome with to that party in Southern charm like that has given me that kind of energy and that was so mean when shep did it so i don't know why you've grown to love these group of men who literally have no respect for you or your relationship and i would be really annoyed too and i wouldn't go around saying that i love his group of friends because you shouldn't no you shouldn't this would bother me you have every right to be upset and i i mean it seems like these people are really immature and like two-year-olds like you're growing you and your boyfriend are mature and like just in a different place in your life and

I think you need to like make small changes to remove yourself from these situations.

Like find alternative plans, like tell, like, and make it clear to your boyfriend.

Like, we could hang out with your friends more if they didn't suck.

Like, why don't you work out your friends not sucking?

And then we can hang out.

Like, I think you need to put your foot down because this is so disrespectful.

And at a certain point, it reflects poorly on your boyfriend.

Yeah.

Like, the company hangs.

You can hang with dogs.

You get fleas.

Yeah.

Lie with the dogs.

Yeah, but they're hanging.

Yeah.

Well, the thing is, is also, I think this is something that happens a lot.

Like, when your group of friends have been friends, like, since middle school, you have this, like, really stupid, immature kind of vibe.

And like, even though you grow up, that silliness never goes away.

And sometimes I feel like when I hang out with people I've known forever, like I act silly, but it's fun because like I don't hang out with them all the time.

And when your go-to group of friends is people you've known since middle school, you just kind of like revert to that.

Like middle school is like you revert back to that level of maturity and it's actually really unhealthy, like for real.

So I think this is something a lot of people probably deal with when hanging out with people that they've known forever.

And if that's your go-to group of friends, it can be really toxic.

So I think you need to definitely remove yourself from this group of friends.

Find people in your town who are like grown up and elevated, maybe other people who are in relationships so they can like relate to the type of problems you're having.

And it's really hard to make new friends as a grown-ass woman.

So I would, you know, join like a toaster group in your area.

Like there are so many ways to meet new people.

Yeah, there are.

So this is definitely like by material.

Yeah.

And I would just say like if you're ever forced to be around them again and like some like they're just like being animals and immature, just like be a big bad bitch.

Like

totally fight fire with fire.

Fight fire with fire, like towards the men.

If these girls are acting disrespectfully, it's like exes, or it's these girls, or you could, sometimes you catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.

If these girls are sent there to like fuck with you, become their best friend.

No, neutralize the threat.

But see, but first, decipher, like, how are they acting?

Are they trying to come onto your man or are they just happen to be there?

I think, like, they just got invited to a party by their friends from high school.

Like, of course, they're going to come.

And the boys are doing it with malicious intent, but it's really not the girls' fault.

Right, so maybe you neutralize the threat, and you all become best friends, and the boys look like dumb asses.

No, but it's like she's letting them win.

Like, I think you should be a bit, I like your first advice, like, be a big, bad bitch to the boys.

Like,

no, but then they want to won't want to like have you around.

Good, you don't want to be around, yeah.

No, I just think you need to remove yourself from the situation, and I think you need to start inviting their exes around and then also invite their moms too so they can see how they behave.

Jackie, I love that idea.

Sometimes the best way to get to someone is to tell their mom what they're doing because people who have good relationships and like respect their moms like don't want to get in trouble from their parents.

And like some moms can be scary.

So like I think that tattling to their moms is the best idea you've ever had.

Yeah, that's a good, that's a good go-to.

Sometimes I think about like literally calling people's parents.

Like it's such a trick.

Or like when someone's like being a troll on the internet, like you just want to find their parents and like send them what they're saying and be like, are you aware your child is behaving in this manner?

No, and I just think it's something they should know.

Yeah.

Love that idea.

I think we should tell their parents as well.

Yeah.

And those were were the deer toasters.

If you ever want to write into dear toasters, the email account is deartoasters at gmail.com.

You can write in about anything.

We will always keep you anonymous.

You can change people's names, whatever.

And if you've written into us recently and we've read your prompt on air, let us know how it's going.

We'd love to hear from you in an update.

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And we'll be happy to share that on air.

And besides that, that's our show.

That is our show, everyone.

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Goodbye.

Goodbye.