S4 Ep112: Deez Nuts: Wednesday, June 23rd, 2021

Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the morning toast and habit hump.

Oh no, that's my Friday one.

Yep.

Sorry, fuck.

Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the morning toast.

Happy hump day.

We're so excited to be back in studio with Theo on hump day celebrating the art of humping.

The art of humping, the art of getting over the hump, which is what we're here to do today because, you know, once today's show is over, then we're closer to Thursday and we're just crawling towards that weekend, y'all.

And now would would be a good time to let everyone know that there is no show on Friday.

Because it's a summer Friday.

I have a bachelorette party and we are going to town.

Woohoo!

I'm really excited about this weekend.

I haven't had like a

girly girl weekend in a while, so it's going to be really fun.

I have them all the time, and I just have to say, like, you're going to have the best time.

No, I'm really quite looking forward to it.

So thank you.

So much so that like I might even crash.

Yeah, you never know what could happen on a girly girl weekend.

I mean, I have, you know, a last-minute business trip to take on Thursday, which was perfect timing for you needing to take Friday off.

But

we're just, I can't stress this enough.

We're living in a post-pandemic world.

Do not look for me.

I cannot be found.

Right.

But pre or post or during pandemic, like it's a summer Friday and we're going to make the most of it.

I also

made the decision.

So last year we took the month of August off, which we loved so much.

And then this year we were toying with the idea of doing that again.

But instead, we decided to keep August normal, but then like feel free to take sporadic days here and there.

So you'll you'll be getting shows in August, unlike last year, but we're just gonna use some of our PTO.

Yeah, I'm gonna make my schedule flexible.

Yeah, very flexible summer schedule.

So happy hump day to you.

I'm having a day.

Oh, please share.

A Cleveland day?

A Cleveland day.

I just have to share, and it doesn't seem like a big deal, but like...

I'm such a principled person and I follow the law.

So I was just like, I had such an annoying morning.

Like I decided to walk here, which is never a good decision, but it's gorgeous out.

65, light breeze between my thighs, feels great.

And okay, so and I believe this is how it is in literally every state in America, but I'm not fully equipped on the traffic laws in other states.

So I was crossing the street.

I had the little walking man.

Okay.

And the

avenue running perpendicular, no, no, running parallel to me was also going down because that's how it works.

I walk, you walk, we're parallel.

Somebody from the avenue went to make a right onto the street that I was currently crossing.

I still have the right of way, correct?

As a pedestrian.

So I'm minding my own business listening to Last Train Home by John Mayer across the street when this big fucking Bronco honks at me.

And like, first of all, it's very disarming to hear a honk like when you're standing right in front of the car, it's so loud and it just like hits you in the middle of your chest.

100%.

Not only did I get honked incorrectly, so I look at him and I'm like, what?

Because like, I needed, I wanted to give him a second to realize he was wrong.

I had the fucking right of way.

He doubled down.

And I could have just kept ignoring it because he wasn't going to run me over.

He was just standing in front of me fucking honking.

But I just, you know, when something, a switch goes off?

100%.

And I got so fucking angry.

Literally, I went, I bent, like I squatted in front of the car and I'm like, let me move my microphone back.

Stop honking.

Why did you need to squat?

Because I wanted to look at him eye level.

I was standing.

He was sitting in the car.

You know what I mean?

Was it a low car?

Kind of.

Whatever.

You're getting hooked on the wrong fucking piece of information.

Okay, okay.

No, I just kind of put my hands on my knees just to like give some oomph, you know?

Okay.

So I'm like stop honking.

And he's pointing to the little man walking like as if he's trying to show me I'm wrong.

And I'm like, what are you?

I wanted him to get out and just go tit for tat.

Like, what are you trying to say with these honks?

Because I'm correct.

I have the right of way.

I understand pedestrian laws.

You don't.

And I had Ben in the back of my head because I always take things to the next level.

And Ben's like, why are you fighting with a strange man in a Bronco?

But like.

I know.

And also, like, people can be crazy.

Like, you think that you're crazy, but like, you're actually.

I don't carry a knife.

Like, there are actual crazy people.

100%.

But, like, it was just the principle was bothering me so much because i was right no that's so frustrating and don't drive in new york if you don't understand the laws and then start yelling at people when you're the one who's wrong no and also like reserve your honks for like other vehicles not for passengers like nobody really what could a what could a pedestrian not passenger what could a pedestrian be doing that's so horrible that you need to ruin their day with the honk in their ear like it's so

loud and also maybe we should normalize lowering the sound of honks in vehicles that's just like a thought i completely agree because first of all the the only people that honks really are for are for other cars and they just ignore you.

So like it doesn't matter how loud it is.

Yeah.

But like when that honk, when you're standing right outside a car and someone honks, like you feel it in your butthole.

Like it's so loud.

And if you don't, if you're not expecting it, it's so disarming.

It's so sick and twisted.

And I really just wanted to get out and have a conversation with this man because I wanted to know what he was trying to say.

He pointed to the walking sign.

Yes, I know.

I'm walking.

Therefore, the sign says walking.

So I don't know what he was trying to prove.

And I just, I screamed like all these people were staring at me.

And I didn't care because I was fucking right.

No, good.

And I had Theo.

You think Theo wants to hear that fucking honk?

Like, he's, he's a very peaceful person.

That's so upsetting.

That would have really bothered me.

I would have already been on Zillow, like, searching Cleveland, homes, four bedrooms.

It bothered me so much.

Like, and I honestly thought about following him.

Just, I, I was actually curious, curious at this point.

What is your point here?

What were you trying to say with your honk and your point?

I don't know.

That's upsetting.

Because unless I've been following the laws completely wrong my entire life, when the man is is white, it's a little white man and he's walking, you walk.

Yeah.

Explain.

Make it make sense.

It doesn't say honk.

No, no, no.

And it doesn't say stop.

There's that red hand that comes up.

But the little white lights pop up and it's a little man.

So I was following the little man.

It does not say RSVP on the Statue of Liberty.

Thank you.

So I just wanted to share that because I'm really like, I wanted to kill someone.

Yeah, I'm really sorry that that happened to you.

Not a good way to start your day, especially not a hump day.

No, and like I was feeling good about the day.

Like I had such a productive day yesterday.

I have such a productive day, I have so many things to do before I have like meetings and like appointments to do before I have to go take my business trip.

Do you have meetings, meetings, meetings?

I actually have meetings, meetings, not meetings, meetings, meetings.

I have meetings, meetings today, too, which is not why I'm wearing a pussy bow, but

I feel prepared to take on the meetings.

But it's not

why you're wearing a pussybow.

No, not.

And now I feel like I need to book some more meetings while I'm wearing this blouse.

I'll have my people call your people.

Yeah, let's just start meeting today.

Love meeting people constantly.

That's so you.

I'm such a meeter.

Oh, speaking of meets, I don't know.

We have the meats.

I went to such a good dinner last night at a place that you would like.

And for the one reason I didn't love it, I liked it a lot, but I didn't love it.

Is the reason like you might like it because it wouldn't affect you.

Share.

I went to 12 chairs in West Village.

You're so cool.

I know.

It was so far downtown.

Celebrating my father-in-law's birthday.

Happy birthday, Bruce.

Bruce on the Loose?

Bruce on the Loose.

Did you send him a happy birthday text?

No, but is it today?

It was yesterday.

You didn't tell me.

That's true.

I didn't tell you.

I didn't tell you.

You should send him a text today.

So

it's Israeli food.

They played like such good Israeli music.

Like I actually went on Spotify looking for the playlist because it was just like all the Israeli bops that I needed to hear.

And it was packed and it was like vibrant, you know, pre-pandemic, popping, tables close together.

And the food, like I actually never ate so much in my life.

And I hate falafel.

I had four.

Like it was just so good.

But they only served beer and wine.

So like there was just like a limitation on how much fun I could have at this restaurant.

In the end, I actually

ended up being really grateful for it because I had to go to an event afterwards and like I just didn't end up getting wasted and like now I feel good.

But if I had drank at dinner, like I probably would have stayed out till 4 a.m.

100%.

But like if I want to return to that restaurant on a Saturday night, like I'm not going to go all the way downtown to drink beer and wine.

I think beer and wine is underrated.

Like remember Camp Toast?

And it's having just beer and wine like stops you from ruining your night.

Okay, beer and wine.

I'm actually reading Malibu Rising right now and I think that's the case that Nina's trying to make, but obviously that doesn't work out.

Beer and wine in certain circumstances.

At Camp Toast, when you wake up and literally start drinking at noon and you don't go to bed till four in the morning, we did it for the safety of the campers.

Like, because if they were drinking tequila and vodka, like the campgrounds would be covered in vomit and like diarrhea.

Like that was for the safety of the grounds and for the safety of the campers.

Yeah.

When you go to a two-hour dinner, like on a Saturday night, and for me, I traveled so far downtown, like, I want a margarita.

Like, I understand, but like, I think it's a nice like way to protect yourself.

And, like, look at you today.

It's a hump day.

You're here, like, you have so much to give.

It's true.

And I want to thank this restaurant, 12 chairs.

Yeah, I just for delivering her whole.

So, yeah, if people always ask for restaurant recommendations, and that is going to be on my list, but keep in mind it's beer and wine.

And then I'm like, all right, I'll have a Bud Light.

We're all out.

All right, I'll have a Corona.

We're all out.

So I had to get an IPA that looked like an Angry Orchard, and it was so disgusting.

Like, I couldn't drink it.

You're so not an IPA girly.

Like, literally, if there is a picture of someone who's the antithesis of just like all that IPA has to stand for, it's me.

And you know why that is?

Because IPA is for other girls.

And we've come to the the conclusion most recently that I am not like other girls.

No, not at all.

Not at all.

We have such a good show for you guys today, you guys.

We have such a good show for you guys today.

You guys?

You guys.

And we have no TV recap because, for some reason, the Real House is of New York wasn't on last night.

And I really just wanted to thank Andy Cohen and everyone involved for sparing me like watching an hour of that like

intolerable like drunk old women.

I want to thank everyone who contributed to that decision.

It was one of the best.

I don't even need a reason.

Like I really, really don't.

But we do have deer toasters because it's Wednesday.

So that's our advice segment at the end of the show.

And I'm excited because we have an update and two new submissions.

Yeah, and we have some good stories today.

Heavy on the biz news.

I think you're going to like this biz news.

I mean, it's appropriate that we have biz news since we're in meetings, meetings, meetings all day.

Well, for me, meetings, meetings.

Yeah, meetings, meetings, safe.

Eyebrow appointment.

Meetings.

Do you have one?

Yes.

I need one.

Do you want to come?

Yes.

Yeah, yeah.

I was going to book one today because I got a Yugo Brow.

Yeah, no, it's just like, it's that time when you go from looking like Cara Delavine to Friticala.

Like it's very, very

transitional time.

And one day you wake up, you're Cara Delavine, and the next day, you're Free Dicola.

For me, because I have lighter eyebrows, I don't like have that.

But what I do start to look like is, you know, the scene in Beauty and the Beast when Dan Stevens transitions from being a man to a beast and his eyebrows starts to

take over his whole face?

That's, if you watch the scene, maybe I will post it.

I think maybe you've seen that movie one too many times because that's very detailed.

I've seen it probably the the same amount of time as you, but like when I saw what was happening to his eyebrows, I was like, oh, that's me

a month post-wax.

Honestly, I haven't seen Beauty and the Beast in a while.

I think I'm due for my viewing.

I recently watched it because I was hanging out with Kayler and it was so fucking good.

Did she like it?

She loved it.

And you know, she's a woman of taste because she had no time for the Maurice scenes.

Oh, nobody does.

Nobody does.

Did you watch

a cartoon or like the most recent?

Live action.

And this is actually the perfect segue into our first story.

But I want a version of Beauty and the Beast Maurice Free.

Yeah.

Belle's dad was kind of like

dead beat almost.

Like, get a real job.

Stop making like trinkets in your basement.

And I just think he was constantly giving Belle bad advice.

And also, Belle obviously didn't love him because she should have run a brush through his hair.

I fucking love Beauty and the Beast.

Like I could analyze like all the different facets of it.

I love it so much.

But okay, let's get into the fast five because our first story is something that's going to excite you.

So without further ado, it is time for the fast five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

And yes, you've all broken my spirit.

You broke me.

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First story: a Snow White live-action remake is coming, starring Rachel Zegler, who I'm sure you do not know, but she is set to star as Maria in the upcoming Westside story remake, which was supposed to come out already, but now has moved to December because of COVID.

And then she'll be starring in Snow White Live.

So we're about to be seeing a lot of Rachel.

So I heard about this story briefly because a report came out that Disney had very serious conversations with Olivia Rodrigo to be Snow White in this live action, which I think she's too busy to do right now, but I think that would have been cool.

Would have been amazing.

Yeah, but you know what?

I feel like I'm such a disney girlie and like maybe my mind will change because i haven't seen snow white in so long i'm not really connected to the story of snow white do you know what i mean like i don't live for for it and maybe i just haven't seen it in a while and i need like disney live action to recreate like the magic but I don't know, I just don't feel very connected to her story.

I feel that.

And I do feel more connected to the story of The Huntsman for sure.

By the way, and tell me the difference between this live action and then the two other movies they made of Snow White.

Snow White and the Huntsman was like an action Game of Thrones style version that really focused on the Huntsman and they were like getting into trouble and stuff.

Like that was sort of like a

alternative like twist.

Yes.

Mirror Mirror was kind of like not parody, but

over the top.

Like it wasn't a true to form remake.

And so this will be like the story period just live instead of animated.

And like why so many?

Like why did we have a message?

I guess they think it's a story worth telling.

No, it feels like they're like really messy and like can't decide how they want to tell Snow White's story in a modern era.

Like, I feel like they really brought Lion King, Beauty, and the Beast into the 21st century with these live actions and Maleficent.

Like, they just really have been killing it.

And then the Snow White department, I just feel like they need a restructure.

Like, it's just kind of messy.

But I think that this would is that.

So, this is like the official retelling of Snow White.

Yes, I don't think they're even like thinking about Mirror, Mirror, and Snow White and the Huntsville.

But do they not see how that's confusing for the consumer?

They don't care about you.

They've made that clear.

So clear.

So crystal clear.

Crystal.

Mirror, mirror on the wall.

Okay, so it's Snow White.

Is that the one with the

dwarves?

Is that the word?

That's the word in the.

Feels like that needs to be changed.

I don't know.

I think it will be changed.

Yeah, the seven dwarves.

Yeah.

Sounds weird.

I don't know why.

I bet you on my life, like, I could not name them, okay?

There's definitely Grumpy.

Okay.

I have a leg up because of descendants.

I don't.

Okay, so this is someone who saw Snow White when they were a child and like never bothered to follow up on her story.

Grumpy.

I know that for sure.

You can relate.

And I want to say there's a sleepy.

Yep.

And that is, you know, kind of confusing.

I also think there's a stinky.

No, okay, let's go back.

Okay, grumpy, sleepy.

Sneezy.

Sneezy.

Honestly, like, that's literally all I know.

Can you name the rest of the four?

No, now I'm like, this is the obvious.

I was waiting for sneezy.

Sneezy is not obvious.

No, grumpy and sleepy.

Happy?

Yes.

Okay.

Ding.

Okay, that's okay.

Let me pull up a list.

So

and before you do that, I just wanted to say that I'm actually really looking forward to this new concert special coming out on Peacock on Friday, the Miley Cyrus Pride event, where she just sings like, you know, gay anthems with special guests.

Cause I saw a clip of her and Marin Morris performing.

I don't remember, but it was just like a classic Bomitza song.

And I'm just really excited about it because

Miley does nothing better than covers.

Like she's a cover queen.

Yeah.

And all the people that they're bringing in, I think like Casey Musgraves, Maren Morris, I'm really excited.

Okay, here are the seven dwarves.

Dopey, you should have known that.

Okay, I guess is he the one like on drugs?

Um

like you can look at Disney things like with a dark eye.

He's the only dwarf who does not have a beard.

He's accident prone and mute.

With happy explaining, that's another one, Happy, that he has simply never tried to speak.

So they call him Dopey.

So wouldn't that make him like mutey?

Yeah.

Okay.

I think the the dwarves are going to have to be reimagined.

This is very offensive.

Right.

Dopey, sneezy, because he has extraordinarily powerful sneezes.

Bashful, very shy and kind-hearted.

That's me.

Sleepy, speaks for himself.

Happy, jovial dwarf.

Grumpy.

Grumpy.

And doc.

He's the leader of the dwarves.

He wears glasses and often mixes up his words.

Yeah, I just feel like the whole dwarves community needs to be rewritten because it's just not very 2021 friendly like the way they describe them I think I don't know if the word dwarves is appropriate like I just think I trust Disney to bring the story of Snow White into the 21st century yeah and that was from Wikipedia by the way um so did you hear what I said about the Prime Peacocks festival sorry that's like a fun thing to do if you're on your retro party maybe you guys want to stay in like you like watch out and like drink yeah but I don't think that we'll like stay in and watch that but I will just probably watch that at some point if I'm in the mood for a concert

DVD

I love a concert Like it's the concert DVD.

Like that sort of thing.

Yeah, no, and we're living in an age where we're getting like access to so many because of all these streaming services.

Like I will never say no to watching like Reputation Stadium Tour, the Beyonce document.

Like I, part of me, Katy Perry.

Like I will never.

It's my favorite thing to watch.

Yeah, it's truly so enjoyable.

It really is.

Are you ready for our next story?

Sure.

We're going to make fun of you.

No, I wasn't going to say anything.

Are you going to make fun of me because I was working on my segue?

No, I...

Did I say one word?

I'm working on...

Mom, I'm working on my Segways.

Have you ever ridden a segue?

The one with the, like, the Apoll Blart.

I don't know.

I did a Segway tour in Jerusalem, and I have to say, like, it was the most fun I've ever had.

As someone who's so fucking lazy, these walking tours are just not for me, but it's like a thing in Israel where you do, like, segue tours, and it's actually really scary to get off of a segue.

Like, you have to balance completely right.

The riding is super easy.

So fun.

Highly recommend getting a segue, even though they're illegal on the streets of New York.

Thank you.

This story is brought to you by Segways.

That's why I know all the pedestrian laws.

See, I know that you can't ride a segue, and I know that I was right this morning.

When more and more people are riding scooters,

I think we should become a scooter-friendly city.

I completely agree.

We birded in Austin.

We had so much fun.

It was hysterical.

And it's a really efficient way of getting around for a city that, like, from north to south isn't that, doesn't cover that many miles.

Yeah, I just don't know if how you would do it is on the sidewalk or on the street because I...

By the bike lanes, we have so many.

That's true.

Nobody respects the bike lanes.

So i would actually be like scared to go on a scooter in a bike lane because people do not respect the bike lanes i everyone i know respects bike lanes well you know nice people but i hang out with but i'm not saying my friends i'm saying i see on the street like nobody respects the bike lane they pull over in a cab into a bike lane they open the door they don't even look for a cyclist like justice actually

for the bikers in new york they literally keep this city running and literally nobody has respect for the lanes.

Yeah, I don't know about all that.

No, for sure.

I know about some of it, but I don't know.

I'm not saying the people who like leisurely ride their bikes to like their corporate offices.

I'm saying like people who ride like delivery.

We're keeping New York running.

We're keeping New York running.

We need to respect the bike lanes.

I agree, but if you're coming out of a taxi, this one's happened to me in a biker crash.

And oh my God, I felt so horrible.

It ruined.

My God, it was hard.

It's horrible.

I've seen it happen in cabs.

You're just supposed, that's why, do you remember that ad campaign?

Look, and the two O's in the word look were I's.

Do you remember that?

Yeah.

That's like the whole campaign.

Like just when you get out on the curb, always look for a biker.

Okay, but like when you're in the car before you open the door, it's hard to like lean out and see.

No, you look in the back window.

Oh, I guess.

There's so many things happening.

Of course.

No, but people just need to be more conscious.

Yeah, because honestly, if it happens to you once, it will never happen to you.

You'll be scarred.

It's so

worse feeling.

It's so upsetting.

Yeah.

Okay.

Next story.

Finally, it's time.

Carl Nassib thanks the NFL for matching his $100,000 donation to the Trevor Project.

He says, you're saving lives.

Oh, we didn't know that they matched the donation.

Yes, on Monday, Las Vegas Raiders player Carl Masson became the first active NFL player to come out as gay.

And now he's thanking the NFL and fans who donated to the Trevor Project to support suicide prevention among LGBTQ youth.

The 28-year-old Las Vegas Raiders defensive end made sports history Monday when he came out to the public as gay, making him the first active NFL player to do so.

With the announcement, he donated $100,000 to the Trevor Project, explaining that he feels an immense responsibility to help in any he can.

Yeah.

And the NFL announced that they would match the donation.

This was like so fabulous because I think a lot of people reference Michael Sam as the first gay football player, which he was, but he didn't come out until after he was retired or no longer played in the NFL.

And I think that like, you know, the NFL is very much like toxic masculinity, like, you know, dudes, locker room talk, bro.

Yeah.

And so to come out is probably really, really hard.

And I have a lot of respect for him.

And I never even heard of him, but he's my new favorite player.

And he's very hot.

Like, not that it matters, but he's just for reference, like in case anyone was wondering, he's very handsome.

Yes, very, very handsome.

Looks like we're Raiders fans now.

Oh, a hundred percent

gotta meet up with Carl.

No, this is a really great story, and I'm sure he's changing a lot of lives for kids who play football, who might not see how they can be all of these things.

Oh, what was that documentary I was watching?

Oh, um, the Aaron Hernandez documentary.

Yeah.

There was a player in that documentary who no longer played, but he knew he was gay when he was playing on,

it might have been his high school or he was in the NFL.

I can't remember.

But he really articulated perfectly why it's so hard to be gay in those types of environments and how like, I'm sure there are plenty of other players who never came out while they were in the NFL.

Yeah.

But like, it's just, I have a lot of respect.

It's a very courageous thing to do.

And Carl, you have two number one fans.

Yeah,

great story.

Great story.

And love raising money.

love that the nfl is publicly supporting but like you know it's like what happens in locker rooms is like really where like the concern i probably comes from it's like the nfl front facing of the a hundred thousand dollars to the nfl is like literally a dollar to us like it's not a big deal I just and he said like his teammates have been very supportive the management and like that's probably where it's scary to come out like within like your teammates that you never know how other people are gonna react so yeah I'm just wishing everyone the best totally are you ready for our next story which is a little ice cream drama?

Is it the ice cream drama that's brought to you by IP Vanish?

Yes, it is.

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You're welcome.

Okay, next story.

The Dippin' Dots CEO is accused of blackmailing his ex-girlfriend and sending revenge porn to her mother.

This is so upsetting because I love Dippin' Dots.

The CEO of Dippin Dots Ice Cream is being accused of sending revenge porn of his ex-girlfriend to multiple people, including her mother.

According to a civil complaint filed in Oklahoma County,

disgusting.

Scott Fisher is being sued by Amanda Brown.

The two dated from early 2019 to late 2020, the lawsuit alleges.

In the complaint obtained by People, Brown alleges that Fisher frequently solicited private sexual messages from Brown throughout the course of their relationship.

Brown additionally alleges that Fisher would take his own explicit photos of her, sometimes consensually and sometimes surreptitiously.

Brown also alleged that Fisher frequently conditioned continued financial support to Brown based on her furnishing him with explicit photos.

After the couple split, Brown alleged that Fisher sent explicit images of her to other people, including her own mother.

She also alleged that he threatened to send them out to more people in an attempt to control her actions.

This is so sick.

What a freak.

First of all.

Second of all,

does he still work for the company?

It says Dippin' Dot CEO.

That's so upsetting because honestly, like, I cannot support a brand like that, but like, I love Dippin' Dots.

When's the last time you even had Dippin' Dots?

They sell them at the grocery store, and like anytime I'm at an amusement park, which isn't that much.

When's the last time you really had Dippin' Dots?

What is this?

Like the SATs?

Stop asking me fucking questions.

Like years.

Doesn't mean I still don't like it.

No, but I know.

Did I say I have it all the time?

I just said I like it.

No, but I like Dippin' Dots too, but I just feel like it's not really a New York City thing.

Sometimes you're like such an investigator.

It's really annoying.

Like just let me speak.

Like you don't have to like interrogate and interrogate like the one discrepancy in my story.

Like I wasn't like I was gonna

never mind.

All I was saying was that I really like Dippin' Dots.

There are a lot of things I really like but I don't do every day.

Doesn't mean I don't like it.

I never said you needed to do it every day in order to like it.

Well then why did you why did you bring up the frequency in which I consumed dipping dots?

Because I just said I like love dipping dots.

You're like really?

When is the last thing you have?

Let's point out that it like won't be hard for you to forsake dipping dots if need be.

Well if I've okay here let me explain it to you.

I've never not, sorry, I've never been in the presence of Dippin' Dots and not eaten them.

Okay.

So anytime I come across, whether it's in the grocery store, there used to be a store in the city in Flatiron.

If I'm at an amusement park, maybe I'll go to an amusement park this summer.

Like, I don't know.

I'm just saying, like, I've been in the presence of Dippin' Dots many, many times, and I've always eaten it.

Okay.

So you're a big Dippin' Dots fan.

Yeah, but honestly, I need Dippin Dots to release a statement that they don't stand by this kind of misogynistic, disgusting,

exploitative behavior.

Agreed.

In order for me to continue being a lifelong fan of the brand.

Maybe I don't eat it at the frequency that my sister wishes I did, but I'm still a fan.

Thank you for that statement.

The clarification was my pleasure.

Are you ready for a little food news that's a little more exciting?

Yeah, I just wanted to double check because I got here like a little late and I didn't really get to raise by the stories.

Are we going to talk about Casey Musgrave's new man?

We already talked about that.

Newer man.

She has a new new man.

She's not with that man anymore, the doctor.

She's with a writer now.

He posted a photo a polaroid of them like sitting on her she's sitting on his lap giving him a kiss on the cheek he's a writer i don't know what he writes but his caption was you know doing everything in my power not to write about her okay she shared a rumored her rumored new bo shared sweet photo of her saying trying like hell not to write about her he his name is cole and he's a writer i don't know if he's like a songwriter i think he writes like poems which is so romantic or books sure where do you where do you i can't believe i missed all of this yeah oh my god like i'm so sorry and they were in the city they were Yeah, they were spotted after they walking around New York City together.

And then the confirmation came on his Instagram yesterday.

Oh, he's cute.

Yeah.

His name is Cole, and he's a writer.

So

what kind of writer?

No, I know.

It's very vague.

He has like 30,000 Instagram followers, so he's like successful.

Where'd you see?

And that's how we measure success.

Where'd you see writer?

Was it in his bio?

Like a page six.

Like, I saw the Instagram scuff stuff.

stuff go down and then I saw a bunch of news outlets write it up and refer to him as a writer.

It's in his Instagram bio.

And it's also in his Instagram bio.

Interesting.

Yeah.

So again, I feel like he's an R.M.

Drake.

Like a quotes writer.

Like a quotes writer.

Inspirational writer.

That's just what I think.

I have no idea if he is wrong.

Because when someone says writer, it's like, that's not author.

Right.

It's not songwriter.

Right.

So it's actually like a vague word.

It is.

It's like influencer, you know?

Sort of.

When you think of writer, what do you think of?

Three, two, one.

Writer girl.

But this is writer boy.

Oh my God.

No, and she's writer girl.

So it's literally a match made in heaven.

Yeah.

Maybe they can can collab.

Mm-hmm.

That's really sweet.

Yeah, I like that she's just playing the field.

I feel like she went from that long relationship with her bandmate, which was just not the right fit.

And then into another long relationship immediately with Rustin.

And I just feel like I'm glad she's playing the field.

Like, girl, live your life.

You're literally one of the most famous singers in the world.

Like,

party.

Like, go meet some guys.

Totally.

She looks really happy in these pictures.

Yeah.

But I do need her to release some new music.

Like,

she is going.

She said in her magazine interview that it's coming i think it's coming this year egy's time you can you can know that it's coming egy's time what else is coming is a krispy cream ipo oh you want to invest in something you can believe in oh krispy cream looks to raise as much as 640 million dollars through ipo well they got 50 committed from me i believe in the brand the donut chain is looking to sell its stock for 21 to 24 dollars a share so you could get two shares maybe i'll spring for three exciting wait this is so exciting because you want to know why?

Like, I feel, first of all, I just love Krispy Kreme.

Like, I just think they're such a fabulous brand.

Their product, at the end of the day, like,

the cream always rises, literally.

The Krispy Kreme rises further.

And Krispy Kreme, throughout the years, has always just been, like, the best donut.

And they've never shied away from what makes them great.

And I really respect that as a brand.

Like, even, you know, moving into the 21st century with all these, you know, donuts are bad for you.

Like, they don't fucking care.

And I love that about them.

And I will be purchasing some stock.

When does this IPO happen?

This year.

They're getting ready.

As we saw in the WeWork documentary,

things take time.

They have to go on, they have to do their showcase or whatever it's called.

Yeah, like their little dance.

Their song and dance.

They have to put together the big file.

I want to be in those meetings.

Like, I want to know why I should purchase Krispy Kreme because I'm going to.

Yeah.

No, it's exciting news.

I'm excited.

I wonder what it's, oh, it's going to trade under the ticker D-N-U-T.

D-nuts.

Oh, that's D-Nuts.

Honestly, they should have thought about that before.

Because that was the first thing that came to mind.

Like, I get it, like, donut, but like, where's the?

Yeah, and like, these nuts.

Whatever.

I'll be purchasing three shares of these nuts

when the time is right.

Because you want to know why?

Like, Americans, we're like, what?

They say, like, the most obese country in the world.

We looked this up recently.

I'm actually not the most.

But, like, they say, like, Michelle Obama always used to say, like, we have a childhood obesity problem.

We do.

We have an obesity problem, but we did confirm recently that we're not number one oh thank god but we still have the problem yeah and you know i just think that's not going away anytime soon so i actually think financially it makes a lot of sense to purchase krispy cream d-nut shares yeah these nuts and you have to invest in what you can believe in and i believe in these nuts

um yeah no i agree that's crazy i

endorse you investing yeah if you want to like demo me like 50 oh you could invest on my behalf yeah of course i can't guarantee you'll see a a return, but.

Interesting.

Well, also,

it hasn't happened yet, so everyone.

Just calm down.

But we're just giving you like a little pre-finance news.

A little sneak peek.

A little taste of these nuts.

Okay, our fifth and final story is some real biz news.

A little biz news.

Because as I'm sure you've heard, it's been Amazon Prime Day for three days.

Oh my God, the marketing is actually really starting to bother me.

And I have a conspiracy theory about Prime Day, but I'll let you finish.

And the Prime Day sales have surpassed $11 billion,

topping record Cyber Monday levels.

So.

Okay, then I'm, I don't know if I'm right, but I've participated in Prime Day pretty much every year.

There's always something like I want to get, but I just think it's like so stupid to spend money on.

I never prepare well enough for Prime Day.

I need to do a total inventory of what I need in my life and wait for Prime Day.

Like I'm always...

A few years ago, I bought a Roomba.

Literally one of the worst purchases I ever made.

Like, no offense, that robot was dumb as fuck.

Like, Like, he didn't know, like, what a wall was and like, what a corner was.

And he was always getting stuck in like crevices.

I just hated it.

And, like, it really did nothing.

And, like, he couldn't even send it to himself home back to the base, which, so I would have to, like, get out of bed, like, go pick up the Roomba.

Like, it was just a torture chamber.

But I've bought a lot of things on Prime Day.

Like, you know, I bought in the beginning, like, some Alexa's, whatever.

And I just don't really feel like the prices are that great.

Like, I feel like a few weeks before

Prime Day, like, all the prices of popular like tech items go up and then they like drop back to their original price.

Like that's just the way that I feel.

Yeah.

I don't know if that's true, but I go on and I'm like, why is this shit still expensive?

It's supposed to be Prime Day.

I just don't really feel like the savings are as big as they market them to be.

Now I have no proof of that.

I'm just saying it's a feeling.

No, I just feel like Prime Day, the only thing I bought this Prime Day was a bathing suit from Rach Parcell.

And I didn't see.

Was it on Amazon?

Yeah.

She posted like some of her Amazon.

Oh, and they parcel brand bathing suits.

She posted some of her Amazon fashion finds and she posted a battle.

She does great Amazon fashion finds.

She posted a matte suit that I absolutely had to have.

And I bought it regardless, but I didn't even see a sale price reflected.

You know, I just like...

Prime Day is kind of just like a marketing gimmick.

Like, we're going to call it Prime Day, and we're just going to keep reminding you that you should drop on Amazon.

Yeah.

But see, Prime Day has...

Also, been beneficial for me in other ways.

Like the Prime Day concert last, well, two years ago, Taylor Swift, Sissa, Juilippa, like that was, that was good.

I appreciated that.

There was no concert this year.

And I just feel like they inflate the prices just so that they can decrease them and call it a sale.

And that's not a sale.

That's a gimmick.

Yeah, I agree.

I'm kind of out on Prime Day.

I kind of am too.

And don't get me wrong.

But we're clearly alone in that.

Yeah, I love like Amazon.

Like, I, I know everyone's like, it's the big bad Amazon, but like, I'm totally here for it.

Um, like, the convenience and ease at which my life moves thanks to Amazon, I'm forever grateful for.

I just don't really believe in this whole prime day thing.

I'm just, I'm suspicious.

I really am.

And I think I'm onto something.

And now that I've put that in your brain, I think you guys, like next Prime Day, will see what I was talking about.

Yeah, I agree.

I just did not prepare well.

No, and the only real discounts that they offer are on their own products.

Yeah.

Amazon Echo dot because you can do that.

I got a Kindle yesterday.

That, oh, you know what?

I kind of wanted like a new fancy Kindle.

I should have done that.

I should look into like what the newer Kindles are.

I really like mine.

I told him to get like the newest one and that if he doesn't really use it, I'll take it because I just want to see what else is out there.

But I love mine so much.

It's been so good to me.

I know.

And like it works completely.

It works so great.

It's so light, you know?

Yeah.

Well, were those the fast-fast stories that you needed to know?

Those were the fast-fast stories that you need to know.

I feel as though you need to know them.

I'm excited to dive into Deer Toasters, which is our advice segment.

If you ever are looking for any sort of advice on something work-related, relationship-related, we are here for you.

Deartoasters at gmail.com.

We will always keep it anonymous.

And if you've written to us recently and we've read your quandary on air and you want to update us with how things went, we would absolutely love to hear from you.

Today, we have one update and then two other submissions.

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All right, let's dive into dear toasters.

Hey, Claudia and Jackie, my favorite sisters.

Thank you.

I'm contacting you guys today about a current dilemma I am in.

My best friend Chloe recently got married and had a wonderful wedding.

It was super fun and got a little wild at the reception.

Chloe is a friend and a bridesmaid named Mandy.

Mandy was always joking about getting with Chloe's younger brother, who's five years younger.

While she has always joked about it to Chloe, Chloe has always said, no way, not allowed.

While it's been a joking tone for both sides, I truly think Chloe meant hands off my brother.

After Chloe and her new husband left the wedding, Mandy went home with Chloe's brother.

The next morning, she asked me to pick her up from his house and tried to tell me all about it.

I told her I didn't want to know.

Now the bride is on the honeymoon and has no clue about what happened, and all the bridesmaids are assuming that they slept together.

So my question is, what do I do?

Do I pretend I know nothing and not tell my best friend?

Do I inform her about it when she gets back from her honeymoon?

I haven't been talking to Mandy in fear she will ask me to keep it a secret.

Should I talk to Mandy about it, encourage her to tell Chloe?

I don't want to get involved, but I also don't want to lie to my friends.

Please help a sister out.

Sincerely, a struggling toaster.

Okay, so basically, like, she needs to know if she should tell the bride that that one of the bridesmaids fucked her brother.

I would say, um,

stay out of it.

If the bride asks you directly, don't lie to her.

No, I don't agree.

What?

Because

what makes it worse is like if she finds out and then like all of her bridesmaids knew and nobody told her, like, that's so hurtful.

Only one bridesmaid knows for sure.

No, no, she said all the bridesmaids are assuming they slept together.

Yeah, they're they're assuming, but they don't know for sure because they didn't pick her up the next morning.

Yeah, but like if none of the, if all of them think something went on and nobody told her, like, that's even more hurtful.

Not only did like your friend betray you than, like, all of your other friends did nothing.

I don't know.

I don't, I don't know.

I think she's a good person.

I don't know if it's like a betrayal.

Maybe it's an anonymous note kind of thing.

No, I don't think so because I don't really think she needs to know.

Like, she's newly married.

She's so happy.

Mandy slept with her brother.

Like, it's not a huge deal.

Well, it's not a good idea.

And then I don't think it, like, either they're going to keep sleeping together and be in a relationship, which is sweet, or it's never going to happen again, which like solves the issue also.

I do think the bride, like, being so, like, bent out of shit.

I mean, I don't have a brother, so I don't really know what it's like, but I do think it's like not that big of a deal.

But she's made it clear, like, she doesn't want it.

So, like, now what does everyone do?

But, like, it's not that big of a deal, I think, like, really, truly.

And also, like, I'm assuming the bride is, say, 28.

I'm just gonna take a guess, and the brother is 23.

Like, he's as long as he's like legal of legal age, and these are two consenting adults.

Like, sure, I'm sure the sister didn't want it, but I think in general, like, it's not that big of a deal.

I think, if anything, you should just, if you want to do something, encourage Mandy to go talk to the bride.

Like, it's her mistake.

She's gotta deal with it.

Sure.

Because you want to be a good friend.

Yeah, I guess I can't really put myself in this position because, like, we don't have a brother.

Yeah, that we would feel this way if, like,

I can't, I feel like so many times people are.

People are weird about brothers.

I feel like friends are excited when, like, a friend, like, hooks up with their brother.

Some people, yes, that's like ideal.

Like, maybe you hope they'll get married.

Yeah, and then Mandy's.

Sometimes

people are weird about brothers.

Like, they are.

I think it's weird if she's weird.

I know, but we don't have a brother.

Like we really can't say that.

Yeah.

I would encourage Mandy to like be the grown-up.

It's really not your problem.

Like you didn't do anything wrong.

Like now you have this pit when you just were a good bridesmaid.

But I also feel like everyone needs to just take a step back and like look and like gain some perspective and realize like

it wasn't a murder.

Like

it's not that serious.

It's okay.

It's going to be okay.

No, that's actually a really good point.

Even if the bride is a little peeved for a few few days, like she'll fucking get over it.

Yeah, I mean, I guess like the most similar thing I can think of is like at my wedding, and I think maybe at your wedding too, like a lot of our male cousins, like hooked up with our friends, which we're exciting.

And maybe that's the kind of sisters we would be if we had a brother, but not everyone is like that.

Maybe if you had a brother that you were passionate about, you would know what it's like, but you don't.

Also, we do have a half-brother, and I would be so excited.

Oh my God, I would like to.

And that would make someone my sister.

I really think you guys are blowing this out of proportion.

Yeah, no, but see, again, that's how we would be.

Like if anyone came and wanted to like marry our half-brother, like we would, I would die.

Like that'd be so great.

Like we would all be so close.

We could have barbecues.

100%.

But again, just tell her about the barbecue.

Some people are weird.

Yeah, why don't you paint a picture for her?

Barbecues, couple trips.

No, because then Mandy's like, I don't want to be his girlfriend.

Yeah, and the brother's like, I was just trying to get some pussy.

You guys, this is not like, I don't know.

It's really not that serious.

It's not that serious.

So true.

All All right, next up.

Hi, Claudia and Jackie.

Long time listener here.

I need y'all's advice on a situation with my sister.

Here's a situation.

My sister has been severely editing the shape, slash, size.

The shape slash size of her head in pictures for the last three years, and I've let this issue go on for three years too long.

My sister is beautiful, so I don't know what her complex with her head size is all about.

She always insists pictures of us or groups are taken on her phone, and then she will only send the pictures where she has edited the size of her head.

I think my biggest and most selfish issue with her edits is that my head is already bigger than hers,

and she goes on to make hers smaller so I'm

so I'm left looking like mega mind also on the rare chance that pictures are taken on someone else's phone people will pose the original and she will post the edit it's so obvious but she doesn't think anybody knows now I appreciate a little face tune here and there but hers has gone way too far my sister and I are pretty close But we've never really talked about our body image or anything like that.

So I'm needing advice on how to talk to her about editing faux pas.

My sister will be getting married this year and I don't want her to alter all of her pictures.

Please give me the best sisterly advice that you have.

I want my sister to be confident because she doesn't need to edit the way she looks.

I'm looking forward to hearing what y'all have to say.

Thanks, Amelia.

This is a very interesting thing because I'm very pro-Facetune.

Like, I'm the type of person.

It's like, you know, Facetune can give you the body you want.

Like, and I really don't feel like there's anything wrong with that.

But I agree when it comes to like wedding photos, like, you really just want to look like yourself.

And also, if she's impacting the way you look, like, that's really not cool.

Yeah, I feel like I can't relate to the head of it all, but I make my like arms look.

We can like place ourselves in this position.

like sometimes we'll take a group picture some people want to you know tinker with it

and then also like sometimes other people suffer because of it like you can't take from some you can't give to something without taking from somewhere else no you can't take from something without giving to something else so like and that's honestly the balance that is facetune right so everything like it really needs to be a group effort if there's a group photo facetune but i If one of our sisters was like FaceTuning to the point of like embarrassment, I would say something.

No, and sometimes actually, like we've had that in the past where like someone will post a picture and we'll post a, it happened to me, like you guys will screen shot my Instagram and be like, you're crazy, like delete this.

And we do it to the other, like we check each other.

What will happen is someone will edit themselves, like in a picture say, it's two people like really not look at the other person because like that's not their problem.

But then they post a picture and the other person looks so deformed.

Yeah.

And

you lose credibility when you post it like that.

No, 100%.

So like I actually think it's we have a good type of relationship.

Like we're constantly checking each other.

It seems like she's close with her sister.

They haven't broached this topic yet, but I think that you can.

And I think you need to just be like, be kind because it's obviously an insecurity.

Yeah, but be like, you're so beautiful.

Like, my head's bigger than yours.

What, what are you hiding?

Like, honestly, I don't really feel like I can give appropriate advice until I see the size of both the heads.

Like, I, I just need to know.

I feel like I feel like it's one of those things, like, you think your head is so big, and like, nobody notices, you know?

Yeah.

What is what even is a big head?

Like, like a cone head?

Like, I need reference.

Yeah, no, it's it's weird.

Like, I have a big everything else.

Like, I would love a big head, you know?

Finally, balance this thing out.

Honestly, just talk to her.

Just talk to her.

Sisters are cool.

Like, even if she gets upset, like.

And sometimes people need tough love.

And if, like, you don't want all of her wedding photos to be, like, you know, the like curvy.

The um.

Warped.

Yeah.

What's it called?

The pillar in the background is like.

It's like turnt.

Yeah.

It's dancing.

No, and also, um, I think the real travesty here is, like, her posting edited ones while the non-edited ones are floating around the internet.

And you just need to be a good sister and tell her, like, that's really not appropriate internet conduct.

Yeah, and once the original is out there, like, don't you dare post an edited one.

Yeah.

Like, that's just, yeah, that's the rules of engagement.

Um, all right, this third one is an update.

Hello, Steeny Queens.

As you may recall, I'm the girl who didn't drink her coffee before taking her new man to the airport, therefore resulted in an accidental and horribly embarrassing, I love you.

Well, ladies, after much patience and many other airport drop-offs, I'm officially his girlfriend.

We made it.

Couldn't have done it without my steens.

Make sure all the toasters know a situation chip can turn into a a relationship, even if you say I love you in one month.

Thanks so much for your help.

Oh, we just love a happy ending.

We really do.

So you know what?

That was maybe the universe's way of telling you, like, you actually maybe did love this man.

Like, of course, I accidentally told like my teacher I loved her.

I didn't actually love her.

But, you know, this could have been like

kismet.

Yeah, that's beautiful.

We're still happy to end on a happy note.

That's our show.

Anything else you want to talk about?

Relive, recall?

No, only content update for me is I'm reading Malibu Rising.

So good.

I'll finish it today.

Yeah, it's really, really good.

You're gonna like it.

It's more similar to Evelyn Hugo than it is to Stacey Jones and the Six.

There's so much.

Thank God.

There's so much crossover.

It's like, it's really crazy.

So I'm taking a long flight tomorrow.

I'll probably start there.

Oh, enjoy.

Treat yourself.

I'm excited.

So I have nothing else to update.

I just have like meetings, meetings, meetings.

And we got to get to it.

So I think that's our show.

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Hope you guys have an amazing hump day, and we'll see you tomorrow.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.