S4 Ep96: A Shorts-Less Shailene: Wednesday, May 26th, 2021

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Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the morning toast.

Happy Wednesday.

It is hump day, but we will be humping from a distance because today is an audio-only, podcast-only episode due to construction at our studio.

But, Claude, I I must ask, how you dern?

I'm awake and I am alive.

And those are two really important things when recording a podcast.

I'm okay.

You know, I've seen better days.

I'm,

you know, I went hard on the sauce last night and I'm paying the consequences now for drinking on a Tuesday night.

And that's my life and my story.

And I'm sticking with it.

Well, we want to hear more about your how you're feeling, but I was telling you before the episode that you drank so much last night because you knew we were doing audio only and that you could, because otherwise, you would not drink that much on a Tuesday night.

So sometimes, like, having you know,

it's a blessing and a curse.

Yes, like I agree.

I went wild because I didn't have to wake up and get dressed, and I knew we'd be podcasting a little bit later.

So, like, it was just kind of like a day off, kind of, but um, now I just

to pay the piper.

I'm the piper is being paid.

I have like like a splitting headache.

That's like my new hangover.

Like I think I used to get like nauseous and like my stomach would hurt and I would be unsettled.

And now I have like the worst headaches ever.

I mean, you're telling me a story that I already know.

Like I know how this ends.

I know how it plays out.

And I just want to let you know my heart goes out to you.

Like I'm thinking of you.

You're in my thoughts.

Thank you.

I appreciate it.

It's literally the worst feeling on earth.

No, it's like,

and honestly, I really want to be like productive today.

Like, I want to get a lot of work done.

I have to edit this vlog for the Patreon.

Like, I have a lot of things I want to do and I will do none of them.

Like, and I, and we have a long weekend coming up.

So, I really wanted to like be productive this week.

And this just like really, like, I'm actually living a huge life of regret right now.

Like, usually I stand by my choices.

But I just like was at the restaurant last night at like 12 o'clock and I looked over at Brian and I was just like dizzy and I was like, why did I get so drunk?

Yeah.

Well, I'm sorry that you're dealing with that.

And you know, maybe Snatchler, learn your lesson next time.

It's a Tuesday night.

But do you think that you went so hard because you were feeling yourself because you were styled by me?

No, because once the video comes out, people will know the truth.

Okay, let's talk about this video for a second because hopefully it will be up today.

Yes, it will.

No, I will get it up today.

I promise.

Yeah, because I style Claudia for her night out.

I personally had so much fun like going through your closet, finding all like the Jackieo approved items.

And I was like, I was thinking back on it when I got home, like laughing at all the things that we said.

It was just like so funny.

I know for you, it was like a little traumatizing, but I think it was worth it for the content.

Do it for the vlog.

No, it was actually hysterical.

And if I hadn't just been so stressed, because I actually was getting styled for something.

Like I had somewhere to go.

And Jackie was a little late to the styling session.

So I was like already running behind.

And then Jackie just comes and shows up and like literally starts pulling things out of my closet that don't fit me and that are all pink.

Like it was so, it was torture.

But the vlog ended up being really funny.

Yeah, really, really funny.

But speaking of styling, there's one more thing I want to talk about before we get into everything.

And that is your shirt.

Because Claudia is wearing these new pajamas.

I don't know if they are new.

They're not new.

They're Halloween themed from Target.

You got them in October or you got them on sale recently?

No.

But they're so spooky that every time you call me and you're wearing them, I just have to call them out because I'm personally, I'm spooked the fuck out.

People, I wear these all the time and people always DM me like, LOL, you're so quirky wearing your Halloween pajamas in the summer.

And I'm like, it's not a quirk.

Like, you have seasonal pajamas?

Like, they're pajamas.

Unless they're made of, like, fleece, it's not seasonal.

Okay, unless there's like a picture of Santa on it.

Like, I guess you would save those for like, you know, Christmas morning.

No, even if there's a picture of Santa, like, if it's cotton, it's fine all season.

I have one pair of pajamas that are made of like blanket material yes and those are seasonal I would not put those on in the summer no but like everyone is just like oh that Claudia is so quirky and crazy with her seasonal pajamas being in the summer and it's like it's really not a conscious decision like I'm gonna be crazy today and put on my Halloween pajamas like these were at the top of my pile and they're pajamas like I don't care that they have cobwebs on them No, I'm not concerned about like the seasons or anything.

I'm just concerned that I'm spooked.

I'm just letting you know, people are concerned about the seasons.

Right, but they don't know, and they'll soon learn that you're not like other girls.

You can't be expected to wear the right pajamas in the right season.

That's the thing.

That's the thing.

I'm not like other girls.

And

I don't know when people, when society stops expecting me to be like other girls, then we'll finally find peace and harmony.

Right.

Then we can have a conversation.

But until then, no.

We have a little programming update for you guys because it's Wednesday.

And we usually would do Deer Toasters on Wednesday, but I like doing it better in studio.

It's just like more funny.

Yeah, to like be together and like.

And like vibe up each other's awesomeness.

100%.

So we're going to do Deer Toasters tomorrow.

Which is kind of crazy because we are really strict with the Wednesday Deer Toasters adherence.

Like we really are.

And I have the prompts.

I have the prompts right in front of me.

Like we could do it, but I just, first of all,

don't want to.

And second of all, I really want to do it in studio with you tomorrow and it'll be like our final show and we'll just be like those crazy advice-giving gals

yes and we need you at your best to give your best advice yeah i wouldn't no offense i wouldn't want advice from you today oh

wow no that's true like look at my own house it's not even in order who the hell am i to be doling out advice to other people 100 so your toasters will be tomorrow but today we still have the fast high stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast and i think we should get right into them because I have some stuff that I'm excited to talk about.

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First story, I'm sure like these are the pictures and videos everyone's talking about.

Aaron Rodgers lives it up in Hawaii with Shaylene Woodley, Miles Teller, and Kelly Sperry.

Kelly Sperry was wonderful enough to gift us with a photo dump, video dump of their adventures in Hawaii.

And I don't know about you, but I was seriously living for it.

No, no, Jackie.

Like it was life-changing content.

Life-changing content plus like a little video of Aaron Rodgers and Kelly singing.

Not knowing the words, not knowing the words to the one by Taylor Swift, which was really frustrating, but I still enjoyed it.

No, I still enjoyed it.

I didn't know that it was the content that I needed like to wake up to, but it was.

Who knew?

No, and here's the thing.

Here's the thing.

Here's the thing.

I had, you know, kind of explained what I was going through like a few weeks ago with, you know, the Shaylene Woodley, Aaron Rodgers relationship.

And I think at first I was really kind of skeptical about it.

I really was.

And then I was slowly, you know, coming on board.

And I just want to let you know, I've just been promoted to captain, and I am the captain of this ship.

Like, I am obsessed.

The Disney thing did throw me, flew a loop, whatever that fucking phrase is, but I'm okay.

Yeah, no, this was like major, major shit points because on Tuesday, the couple enjoyed an outdoor adventure with Miles Teller and his wife, Kelly Sperry, as they hiked through Hawaii's lush landscape and enjoyed a double date in the evening.

We saw photos and videos of Shaylene, Aaron, Kelly, Miles, just like

living it up, nature girlies,

and Kelly also shared a video of her and Aaron singing along to Taylor Swift.

Filmed by Shaylene.

Filmed by Shaylene.

Filmed by Shaylene, FBS, you know, films by Shaylene.

And I just like, I would die.

Like, I'm obsessed with, you know what it is?

First of all, I was already like really starting to like like them as a couple, but Miles and Kelly can just like, they have that effect on me.

Like whoever they like, I like, you know, they made me like nina dobrev you know so

this is just like a culmination of so many beautiful wonderful things and like

even though i would literally rather die than go on a hike like i wanted to be there so bad wait go on a hike in your bikini

shaylene wasn't even wearing shorts and i think that's also what made these pictures so compelling it's like all four of them like running around in their bathing suits all four like Bathing suits, bikinis, trunks.

Wait, that's so crazy.

I didn't realize

they weren't wearing shorts in a a hike.

Like, what about your thighs?

Okay, Kelly's wearing shorts.

Of course.

I was like, no, Shaylene is not weird.

No shorts.

No shorts on a hike.

I really hope she brought like a, well, she probably doesn't get chafe.

If you're making a decision to go on a hike without shorts, like you don't know what chafing is.

Like, you've never heard of it.

Never heard of her.

That's insane.

No, it's insane, but it made the pictures and the content like more compelling.

It's criminal behavior.

Do you think maybe she took the shorts off for the photo?

No, because there's like photos, videos, there are no sports in sight.

Wow, I did not even put that together, and now it's literally all I can think about.

Yeah, no, it's it's really interesting.

And then, of course, we got like a shirtless Aaron and a shirtless Miles, and everyone, of course, is the Snatchler.

Of course.

That just goes a really long way in

this whole photo series.

Who would you rather?

Miles or Aaron?

That's not even a question for me.

Oh, really?

Miles every single time.

Yeah, no, Miles Teller is literally the hottest piece of ass in Hollywood, and I don't think enough people talk about it.

No, 100%.

I totally agree.

I'm sure there are some girls out there who would choose Aaron, and that's nice for you.

That means there's less competition.

You know, like, I wouldn't not choose Aaron, but I would choose Miles, you know?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, I do know.

And I think what another thing I was thinking about, I don't know if you know this, and I'm not sure I'm speaking 100% facts, but there's like a lot of drama in the football space with Aaron Rodgers.

Like his team hates him.

He said, I don't know like the whole extent, but like he's in like trouble.

Like he's in getting canceled from his team.

Okay, but he's also canceling his team.

I've tried to get as much information about this as possible.

And we haven't spoken about this on the show.

No.

Okay, so pretty much Aaron Rodgers said to his team, the Green Bay Packers, who he's been playing for for so long, he

said.

He said, fuck you.

Actually.

So

to the teammates or like the management?

Everything.

I don't even think he's playing for them right now.

He's going to be a free agent and he's going to go somewhere else because they drafted another quarterback when like they clearly have a quarterback.

And I guess for the past few years, he's been telling them exactly what he needs on the field and they're not listening to him.

He's not feeling heard.

He's not feeling heard.

He's not feeling seen.

And he's also feeling like replaced.

No, that's shady as fuck.

He's still like a good quarterback.

So to use their draft pick on a new quarterback instead of the positions that they need, I think he felt really hurt by that.

Zello covered.

Zello covered.

Yes.

But on the other hand, so he made this big stink and like is like not playing for the Packers anymore, wants to be released.

And

on that front, I'm a little bit like,

man, like this is your job that pays you millions of dollars.

So you didn't get what you wanted.

Like sit down.

Yes, but I do think.

in sports when you're at a certain level like you earn the right to act like an at like a baby like a little bitch like a little bitch and I think that he's in that position so I think that like it is what it is in that position and so but I feel like on

principle I think if anybody were to do this like just like I don't know I just it doesn't no it's literally

when Kelly Rippa like stormed off live with Kelly and Michael because Michael Strahan got a better job yeah but then I was like thinking like okay say this was Tom Brady and he was like telling the rates I need these running backs and like they drafted another quarterback.

I'd be like, Tom, you got to go.

Yeah, no, no.

It's frustrating.

Maybe he didn't handle it in the right way.

Maybe, but I'm just trying not to be like biased towards Aaron.

No, me neither.

If anything, I'm like a little too

on his side.

But what I was going to say is that like within all of this drama, I love that he's just like literally not giving a fuck and is in Hawaii and him and Chalene are like living their best lives.

Like you would never know based on like his social events calendar that he's going through like a major career crisis.

actually you would because now he's available to do all these things but no football's not in season he's not he's not training he's not working they get some time off I don't know oh that's a good call actually you know like he's definitely acting like someone who's unemployed he's acting like boy with no job

so that's the latest sports news for you guys and I feel as though you needed to know it I needed to know like I didn't know all the drams and you know what they say like anything can happen on draft day.

And that's what happened.

Yeah.

And that was really the catalyst.

Draft Day is the catalyst for

Roger

hiking in Hawaii with a shortsless Shaylene.

A short.

The shortsless Shaylene.

Let's go back to that.

Like, I could literally write a dissertation on the

shortslessness of Shaylene Woodley because it's insanity.

No, I'm going back to Kelly's profile.

I need to look at the pictures just once more just to see, like, the shortslessness in action.

No, I can't even look at it.

There's not a short insight for sure.

Like, not in her hands.

Not in Aaron's hands.

Maybe he's holding them for her.

No.

Damn.

The shorts are gone.

Yeah.

Damn.

So that's your latest shorts news?

I'm so glad that we covered that.

Are you ready for our next story, which is a little more couple news that I find to be quite interesting?

Sure.

Ian Summerhalder says his wife Nikki Reed helped him get out of eight-figure debt.

Have you read this?

No, I mean, I am so obsessed with this couple because, first of all, like, you just love to see a Hollywood couple stand the test of time.

And two, I just love Nikki Reid from

Twilight.

Um, yes, agreed.

Well, Ian Summerholder took to Instagram to praise his wife.

He said, I've never disclosed this publicly, but this woman worked selflessly for two years to build me out of a terrible business situation I got myself into.

I invested heavily.

I made huge personal guarantees to banks.

However, due to greed and fraud within that company and fraudulent activities from our biggest customer, not to mention the temporary collapse of the oil and gas industry, I was left in an eight-figure hole.

He didn't name the company.

He called the experience a true nightmare and said he had to travel the world weekly to help pay off his debt.

He also added that it took a toll on his health, saying that he landed in the hospital four times in two years.

He said, this woman here decided that she didn't want to see her husband ruin his body, mind, and spirit and pulled up her bootstraps and got down in the trenches, assembling a team to get to the negotiation table to find a way out.

She devoted her life to getting me out of that mess, and it almost killed her along the way.

I am where I am because of this woman.

Wait, okay, so not to be dumb, eight figures is like $10 million, like or up?

Like, yes, yes.

Somewhere between $10 and $99.

That's what that is, yeah.

Okay.

And then

also in the post, he's promoting Brothers Bond Bourbon.

So I think this is his new business venture that he's talking about.

100%.

yeah brothers brawn bourbon which was distilled and crafted in the tradition of all great bourbon hand selected by Ian Summerhalder and Paul Wesley oh he's also from the show yeah vampire diaries I guess Nina Joe Brev didn't get the phone call you must be 21 and older to follow oh thank god okay um

here's the thing that's crazy first of all and I'm curious what the deal was like before I guess it was a liquor company I mean not necessarily but that is what it sounds like because it's like, you know, when one door closed, when one door is opening, you can talk about the one that closed.

The window, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

So,

cool.

Like,

I couldn't think of anything interesting or funny to say.

That's some crazy T, 10-figure debt.

And that's what Nikki Reed, like, soldiered up in, like, Karen Huger.

No, and that's literally Karen Huger.

And that's so something Rosalie, is that her name?

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's so something Rosalie would do for her man.

Like beyond.

In Twilight.

It's so, I love to see people channeling their inner Rosalie.

Yeah.

No, and I've always, I don't know, I feel like back in the day when they first got together, I had read some blind items that made me question their relationship.

Oh.

But then recently I've just sort of like moved on.

And now firmly, like...

a little sailboat out to sea might be meeting up with a bigger ship.

Yeah, like I think there's real proof in the pudding and this pudding has been delicious for years

and i think they remember they had that like powerful moment where i don't know literally why i keep fucking bringing up nina dobrev in this podcast this is the third time i've mentioned her

but it's important because um

they oh yeah so she was dating ian somerholder on vampire tire is and like nikki reed you know swooped in they got married like nina dobrev is literally jennifer aniston you know

sure

and to this day people like still talk about it.

And then Nina and Nikki like did this whole,

you know, come together moment publicly to like support women.

And I enjoyed that.

I did.

I didn't.

I'm unfamiliar.

And I literally just said the longest sentence and it literally said nothing.

Well, but they came together.

Will you give me a minute?

I need a LaCroix.

Like, I like if I don't get, I feel like I've been in the desert.

And if I don't get a LaCroix, it's just in the fridge.

Feel free to talk amongst yourselves.

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All right, what's next on this celebrity docket list?

Next up is some big contract news in the food industry.

Guy Fieri just signed a massive new food network contract and is now the highest paid chef and one of the highest paid people on TV.

Wow.

Guy Fieri, also known as the mayor of Flavor Town, but with the contract he signed the title.

What?

That's a funny line.

I was just laughing.

Oh, okay.

The mayor of Flavor Town?

That's not a place.

What are you talking about?

He is a mayor of Flavor Town.

No, I know he is, but that's not a place.

Uh, yeah, it is.

No, it's not like a geographical location.

Uh, uh, yeah, it is.

Where's Flavor Town, USA?

When the flavors are good, right, right.

I just, I was literally just remarking that I thought the opening line of this article was funny.

Like, that's it.

That would be like, that would be like

an article saying

Theo Safer also known as Dr.

Theodore Vichevin

yes but I don't know why that would make you laugh it's a funny joke oh my god why are you not understanding like that I just was giving like a little giggle I just feel like you're coming for guy and I'm not here for guy oh wow that's not at all what I was doing do you think I would go for the I would come for the highest paid actor on television not what he is highest paid food network chef highest paid chef and then you also said.

One of the highest paid people.

That's literally what I said.

And I never said actor.

Oh, that's true, because he's not an actor.

You can't act that good.

No, but it was just announced that Guy Fieri agreed to a new three-year, $80 million contract with Food Network, which equates to $27 million per year.

That's a $50 million raise over Guy's previous three-year, $30 million contract.

I wonder why.

Like, why'd it go up so much?

It's because Diners, and Drive-Ins and Dives is a literal cash cow it generated more than 230 million dollars in ad revenue in 2020 alone i mean it's literally the greatest fucking show alive it sounds like he's underpaid also not only does diners drivings and dives like drive ad revenue but they're highlighting local small businesses that yes what they do i think that on every front like triple d is So fabulous.

Triple D was promoting eating local before it was like a trend to have that written on your bumper sticker.

And supporting small businesses.

Yeah, before it was Instagram GIF.

Yeah, literally.

That's such a good call, first of all.

Second of all, talent gets, you know, the salary it demands.

And you look at Guy and you just can't make this shit up.

Like, he's so funny.

And his outfits, he's got this great brand.

People die for him.

He is like such star quality.

Like, I think 80 million is not enough.

I agree, but I'm sure, like, now that I'm reading it, like, yeah, he could have, he could have gotten higher.

Also, he has spent the last year raising raising money for restaurant workers who are out of work.

Really?

So, I just feel, yeah.

So, we need to give him more money so that he can funnel it to the charity.

So that he can raise more money.

He spent, he raised $25 million for restaurant workers who are laid off.

Oh, that's so sweet.

So sweet.

Like, he's a philanthropist.

He's a mayor.

Like, get you a guy who can do both.

He's a mayor.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I love that.

No, I really am so happy for him.

I've kind of now like craving watching, like spending all afternoon watching Triple D.

That's a nice idea.

Even though, like, you cannot pay me to eat one single fucking thing that's ever been featured on Diners, Drivens, and Dies.

Unless, I mean, I guess some of the places have fries.

Yeah, no, I feel that for you.

I do.

I would love to see him do like a kosher diner for me.

Yeah.

Have they ever done like cats's, you know, like

has he ever come to New York City?

That is a good question.

I know he's been on Long Island and.

Yeah, no, has he ever stepped foot in New York City?

I feel like the city would implode if Guy Fieri showed up.

We literally can't handle his chaotic energy.

Like, it is too chaotic.

Because the city's too chaotic, so it would just like

cancel each other out.

And I just can't really see him in his little red Corvette, like

rolling down the streets of New York.

It would, it would literally stir up so much pandemonium, like the city would implode.

His red Corvette in the Midtown Tunnel.

He's red, Corvette.

Corvette, Corvette.

Hop in the motherfucking jam like that.

That's literally Guy Fieri, like music bouncing on his way to steal your entree.

100%.

He can steal my entree.

He's Mr.

Steal Your Entree.

Are you ready for our next story?

It's a little more TV news that's like a sad follow-up to a story we shared a few weeks ago.

Okay, I do.

I just want to like really majorly shout out the person who invented LaCroix.

Like, you're a real homie, and I live for you.

I heard the inventor is LaCroix Bierman.

That's a great joke, first of all.

Second of all, I want to have a threesome.

I'm going to assume that the man who invented

LaCroix is a man, but I want to have a threesome with him and the man who invented the heating pad.

I looked him up.

His name was Earl something, and he was pretty hot.

So the three of us have a very busy afternoon.

Stop.

I'm going to Google it.

LaCroix inventor.

Speaking of three icons, Powerpuff Girls live-action reboots pilot was scrapped for being too campy, says the CW CEO.

If it's too campy for CW, it's scary to think what it looked like.

But the CW will be going back to the drawing board and retooling its Powerpuff Girls reboot after the pilot was scrapped.

The CW chairman and CEO said sometimes things miss, and this was just a miss.

We believe in the cast completely.

We believe in Diablo Cody and Heather Regnier, the writers, and we believe in the auspices of Greg Berlante and Waterhook Waterhook Brothers Studios.

In this case, the pilot didn't work, but because we see enough elements in there, we're going to give it another shot.

We didn't want to go forward with what we had.

So

Powerpuff Girls is back to the drawing board.

The pilot did not work.

There's

the drawing board at Brar Barn?

Oh, for sure.

Can I say something

with all respects to the network?

Literally why you're here is because

that's such a good call.

I just really feel like nobody needs this.

Like, not a single person on planet fucking earth like cares or really needs this.

And I'm going to say, I'm going to go even further.

Like, yes, the Powerpuff girls were cute.

But, like, entertainment value-wise, like, I don't really remember the show being that good.

So, I just didn't feel like it's a story that needs, that's worth retelling.

Yeah, the way that I'm feeling when this news was first announced, and like Dove Cameron was a part of it, I was really excited because I was like, that's so cute.

But, like, if they did a pilot with the writer of Diablo Cody, she wrote Juno, right?

I have no idea.

Um, She's like a really famous writer.

Psych writer.

Like, they couldn't have gotten anyone more prolific.

Yes.

And if that didn't work.

And if that didn't work, and like, I'm just, and it's too campy for the CW, which is literally stands for camp.

Woohoo.

Camp.

Yeah.

Then I just don't think there's anything here.

And also, how do you make Powerpuff girls not campy?

And like, and also, unless you're going to make them a little racy, like, what the fuck are they going to do all day?

No, literally, like, I don't understand this project at all.

And I honestly don't support it.

I don't.

Yeah, no, I supported it.

And now I'm rescinding my support.

Same, like, literally, same.

And you know what?

I love CW.

Like, normalize not going through things that aren't good, you know?

Yeah, it's never too late to back out.

Yeah, no, and even if it is, like, still, back out.

Yeah, I agree.

I really think that the drawing board should tell them to stop.

The drawing board should be

The drawing board should run out of expo markers.

100%.

100%.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

Only if it's the fifth and final story that's brought to you by the zebra, is it?

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Okay.

Our fifth and final story is a really interesting story from the New York Post.

A little real estate news that's going to lead into our Rahoney recap.

But New York Post has compiled the 10 most expensive homes owned by the Real Housewives.

Okay,

so interesting.

So interesting.

Are you ready for it?

We're going to go through all 10.

Wait, I just want to guess a few.

Okay, please do.

Maloof?

No.

The Maloofs aren't on this?

No.

Okay, LVP's original home?

Her current home.

Okay.

Wait, that's shocking.

I feel like they're all in Beverly Hills.

One, because they're the richest franchise, and two, it's like the hottest real estate market.

Oh, okay.

So that's a nod to keep going.

Oh, Eric.

I don't have to give too much away.

Erica Jane's home has to be on there.

Former home.

Sorry.

Okay.

Okay.

I feel good about my guesses.

Yeah.

Okay.

Number 10 is Ramona Singer's Hamptons House for $6.43 million.

Wow, good for Ramona.

Good for Ramona.

Yeah,

that was shocking, but then like not.

No, and also like her home value in the last year has probably doubled.

Everything in the Hamptons is literally on fire.

Like a house can't stand on the market for 30 seconds without being bought.

Like everyone because of COVID bought a house in the Hamptons.

And so Ramona's actually really smart for redecorating it.

And if Ramona ever needs money, like she's sitting on a lakefront Southampton property.

Yeah, no, even last night on the episode, like they were outside working out with Garth and it's just like it has like a water view.

This house, it has the most amazing backyard.

It's a beautiful house.

It really is.

Okay, number nine, shockingly, Teddy Mellencamp's Beverly Hills house in Encino, California, $6.4 million, $49 million.

That's the one they had bought before she left the show.

Yes, and it actually looks so nice.

It does.

That

we never got to film there.

Wait,

wait, they're in a new house?

Yeah.

No, she bought a house while she was a housewife for like around $6 million.

It was like a house up the hill.

Oh, but did we ever, did she ever live there?

Yeah, it's like on a cliff.

Like, it's the house that she was at in her her most recent.

The one on the cliff.

No, the one that has on stilts.

Yeah.

This is not it.

It's not?

She's a new house that Mauricio helped her buy.

It looks like the backyard looks like Kylie's new house, honestly.

Oh, wow.

I've got to look into it.

Yeah, yep.

Well, just when things were getting interesting for Teddy, boom.

Right?

Number eight, Camille Grammer's Malvo House, $6.5 million.

Yep.

Number seven, Sutton's house in Bellevue.

Well, you just went from six to seven.

I went from eight to seven.

Okay, you said six.

Okay.

I said six

in the price.

No, you didn't.

Well, good thing we have this recorded.

So we can see.

It's great.

We're all happy about it.

Okay, sorry.

Number seven.

Number seven, Sutton, Real House Eyes of Beverly Hills, $7.9 million, her new house.

Oh, her new one, which I don't even know what it looks like yet.

Yeah, there's pictures in this article.

It's quite fascinating.

Oh, I must study this article later.

Number six, Kyle Richards' house in Encino, $8.25 million.

That's the current one, correct?

Yes.

I do believe of all the women this season, I would like

that house for myself.

Of all the houses, it's so stunning.

It is so stunning.

Number five, Dorit's house in Encino, $9.5 million.

The one she currently lives in?

Yes.

No,

that is just fake fucking news.

There's no way.

I mean, it is.

You're telling me that Dorit's lovely model home costs more than Kyle's palatial estate.

That's what they're saying.

Kyle literally has acreage.

That's what they're saying.

Dorit has a backyard full of pavers.

Why would they lie?

I thought you were going to say the house that they were renting before, but they never owned it, so it can't be included.

Nope.

Number four, Sonia Morgan's New York townhouse, $10.75 million.

That's a nice piece of property.

New York represent.

We got two on the list.

I thought the whole thing was going to be Beverly Hills.

Yeah, no, New York represent.

Number three, Lisa Vanderpump's Beverly Hills House is worth $11.6 million.

You know, that house is so stunning.

I'm looking at pictures and it's like, I feel like when she lived there, we didn't even appreciate the fact that, like, I don't know why I always thought she just lived in a house of cards.

Yeah.

That everything was just like, but like, no, those views are real.

Like, the backyard is real.

No, it's.

And what's insane was that this home was like a downgrade, remember?

Like she lived in, and so I don't know how that didn't make the list because that home was enormous and it was across the street from the Maloofs.

And I think it's all about houses that people live in.

Currently.

Yes, because that would make no sense otherwise.

Because we, I remember we were like, is Lisa Vannerpromp poor when she moved into Villa Rosa?

Because her original home was the house that they used on the season premiere of Schitt's Creek, like when they were showing how rich the roses were.

Like, it was huge.

And then we like literally thought the house that she moved into was a dump.

But Lisa Vanderbump's house is stunning.

It's the most beautiful house, I think, of all housewives.

Like, if I can move into one, it would be that one.

But, like, I just feel like whenever I saw it on TV, like, I didn't have that feeling.

There's something really, really, really tacky about everything Lisa Vanderpump touches.

Like, her restaurants are so tacky.

Sometimes, even her aesthetic, even though it's like all pink and light and loose sight, it's like she just has like a tacky vibe to her.

She does.

Even if she's wearing diamonds, she makes them look costume.

Yeah.

So like I think that's why we thought that about her house.

Yeah.

Number two, Erica Jane's Pasadena house, $13 million.

Okay, wait, let me just give me one second to think of number one.

Oh, okay.

Think broadly.

Bethany.

No.

Okay.

Can you give me the city?

What?

Can you give oh, Dubrow?

Yes.

Wow, that's crazy.

Heather Dubrow's Newport Beach home, $21 million.

And we never fucking got to see it.

No, but we were tortured for seasons talking about it.

Justice for us, we never got to see it, and it's number one on the list.

Wow, you know whose home was also really beautiful?

That original Bedor home that was all like made from

plants.

Crystals like built into the ground.

Yeah.

The stairs were made of plants.

Yeah, no, but like she literally had like the house like some people have Wi-Fi.

She had like crystals wired through.

Yeah, but like she was also like had the most miserable life when she was there too.

So it's like,

yeah.

That is so interesting.

The Dubrows.

That's so crazy because like I know that Heather Dubrow has a lot of money, but like I don't think of her as richer than Kyle Richards.

Yeah, but I don't think of them together.

Ever.

Ever, but now I do.

Honestly, Heather Dubrow is actually not terribly unsuited for Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

Yeah, but she lives in Newport.

Yes.

Literally, like, it's the Real Housewives of Newport now.

Yes, they all live in like Laguna.

Yeah, so she needs to come back with her $21 million house.

Oh my God, I would love to see it.

Is there a tour anywhere online?

I know she's like a losery YouTube channel that she did a closet tour on.

I think she has like a tour on her YouTube channel, but I'm not interested in a YouTube tour.

I'm just no, I'll take a bravotv.com like

tour.

I'll take a spot on Real Housewives.

That's what I'll take.

Yeah, of course.

They need need her desperately.

Yeah, she could save it once again.

Once again.

Okay, well, those are the fast eyes stories.

I feel as though you needed to know them.

Now, quick rony recap, because I'm going to assume you didn't get around.

I didn't, but I would love to hear you tell me what happened.

So, not that much happened.

The episode ends with the beginning of the Audrey Hepurn party, and we don't hear Ramona yet saying

what happened to class, what happened to elegance.

Oh, that is literally going to be like the best best moment of my life.

What happened to class?

Elegance.

Like, I can't wait.

I thought they literally teased it like it was gonna happen this week.

Yeah, no, it's not this week, but Heather does attend the party.

She was completely ambushed by Leah and the girls, bringing up like everything she ever said on her podcast.

I thought she handled herself so well.

Some things she was like, listen, I didn't say that.

You know, they write these headlines and then you get to the meat of the article and there's nothing there.

And then other things she's like, yeah, no, I said that shit.

Like, that's how I felt.

But I, like, this shit about Lou Ann, like, not being authentic.

She was like, yeah, no, I said that.

Like, that's how I felt, but you've been through so much.

And I'm really hoping we can, like, have a more, a deeper friendship that's not surface level.

And that's exactly like what I hoped she was going to say because Luann is a different person now.

So I'm team Heather.

I don't know why Leah's coming so hard for her.

Like, if they have extraneating beef, like, please let us know because.

Heather was so nice to her in the Hamptons.

They replayed their introduction.

When Heather comes to the house, she's so warm towards everyone.

I like Heather a lot.

I like her so much.

And Leah was even making fun of her.

Like, they put Heather at the lower level and they were talking about how they were gonna do that and Leah goes I'm sure she'll be like it's all good mama.

Yeah, she will because she's a fucking nice positive person.

Oh my god, don't make fun of her mama.

I love her.

No, that's so mean.

Honestly, Leah's turning into like a little bit of a bully.

She is and I really really like her.

I just don't like when she goes for people who who aren't deserving of it.

No, and you know what?

This energy that she has, she really could have used on Dorinda last season.

And I just feel like as much as I really, really like Leah and her energy and she brings such youthfulness to the show, and she's funny and stylish, she has some of like the worst judgment I think I've ever seen on a person.

Like, because she came into this group last season and made a choice to defend Dorinda, which is like literally the dumbest thing you could possibly do.

And now she's just like trying to girl gang up on Heather, and I don't like that at all.

Yeah, and she also is just like so

critical of Ramona.

Like every, like these two people are extremely different, but like, and especially when you're gonna like laser focus on everything Ramona does.

Yeah, you're gonna be bothered by you're gonna be disappointed.

You're gonna be extremely disappointed.

Like she is who she is, and like I just I you're never gonna change Ramona, so stop trying.

Like yeah, accept her for who she is, or don't go and stay at her house.

Agreed.

And the lack of respect that this group, particularly Leah, is having for Ramona for opening up her stunning top 10 most rich housewife homes to them.

It's actually not nice.

It's not, they're not being good guests.

Not nice.

But in Leah's defense, she is going through a hard time

it's like i can give someone that line of defense of course easily but then it's like if in their interviews which are recorded like later and they have it and they have a little bit of hindsight if they're still like going so hard sometimes harder and like doubling down then i don't extend the same grace gratitude

grace not gratitude

in her interviews she's so

like Just hateful towards Ramona and I just don't understand.

I don't understand it.

Yeah.

No, I know.

It's actually really bothersome because as much as i try like i just can't quit ramona singer she is truly delicious like i tried i did because like a lot of the stuff she did in the past seasons like she really lost me the cardahena season was so transformative for this entire group because literally the way that every single person turned their backs on bethany in one of the darkest times in her life unapologetically turned their backs on her and went in on her except for sonia morgan i never looked at ramona the same again i never looked at well luanne was kind of not involved i never looked at dorinda carol Ramona.

I never looked at them the same ever again.

So I just feel like things haven't been the same with me and Ramona since then, but I'm getting back to BC Ramona before Cartagena.

No, I tried to quit Ramona.

I did, and it didn't stick.

And now I can just like appreciate her for who she is and like what she brings to the table.

And I appreciate a person who is unlike others and who is committed to remaining themselves.

That's true.

Even if themselves is a little wacky sometimes.

Yeah, but like most people like just want to be liked and accepted.

So like they'll be fake enough just to

herself and she doesn't apologize for it.

And I appreciate that quality.

That's 100% true.

Also,

I know how to do it.

Oh, sorry.

Yeah, what happened on the episode?

Knowing how it turns out for Heather and Leah, like I obviously am not hopeful, but if I didn't know, I would say like I hope that they can like turn it around and be friends because I don't know why they wouldn't be, but we know that it ends really badly.

So yeah, I think like after this, like Heather decides not to be like friend of anymore.

Yeah.

Like she didn't come on the show to get ambushed.

It's always, it was always really fun for her.

She comes into the house with like such good positive energy and everybody is like cold and rude to her and she gets chatted to the lower level.

And why the fuck would she do that?

She seems like an extremely busy person.

No, of course.

Like she has an actual business trend.

And maybe if you had something that you were passionate about, that's really upsetting.

It really is because I'm a big Heather fan.

Yeah, no, it was justice for Heather because she was treated unfairly.

And like in any situation where a whole group is going up against one person, especially a person who just walked through the door.

Yeah, it's a lot.

It's not, you're not gonna, you're not gonna come off well.

And sometimes it's warranted, of course, but honestly, like, with this Heather stuff, like, first of all, she is right.

A lot of this stuff gets misconstrued in the media.

And two, like, it's not that big of a deal.

They're acting like she murdered someone.

No, totally.

She was talking shit like everyone else.

Singell Scab walking through the door.

Like,

that energy, like, isn't it?

It's not necessary.

Also, yeah, she was talking shit.

And, like, Lou made a good point where it's like, like, I just, I can't trust someone who's just gonna like go and talk about me.

That's true.

But that's also what they all do.

Every season opens with Ramona said this to page six.

Like, that's their literal jobs.

Yeah.

So I don't know if that holds.

Also, really quickly, I just started the new season of Shaws of Sunset.

There's only been two episodes.

I really think you should watch it.

It is.

It reigns supreme.

It's like, every season, I'm like, they're not going to be.

And I feel like it's such an underwatched show, but it's unbelievable.

And there's such crazy drama.

Like, and I feel like the Shaw's characters are really not that famous.

So if this was like a certain drama that had happened to like a real housewife, we would have heard about it.

Like how we know Erica Jane's scandal coming up.

But there's like all this drama with Mike.

He has another girlfriend.

You know, he was married.

He cheated on his wife.

He's cheated on every girl he's ever been with.

And he is in a great relationship now with this girl, Paulina.

And like everyone loves her.

And it's just like, don't fuck it up.

And of course, like.

Paulina gets these like screenshots that he's like sexting with some girl.

And do you know what his response was?

His defense.

He said his eye cloud got hacked, and he's literally lying to all of his best friends.

Like these people have been friends for 30 years.

He's lying to his girlfriend.

He's lying.

They're all in a house in Palm Springs together, lying to their faces.

I don't know how you could literally be such a bald-faced liar, but we're at this very weird period in Shaw's because MJ and Reza

were broken completely.

Like you remember last season, he said that horrible thing about her.

And it's it's obvious that they do,

he feels really bad and they're ready to move forward.

But like, first of all, Adam is being like such a baby.

Like Reza's like ready just to get back with MJ.

He misses his girl MJ.

And Adam's like, I just like, don't really feel safe.

Like, shut up.

Like, he's being such a drama queen.

But then also, Tommy is like, I don't want Reza around here.

I'm going to break his legs.

Like, like, they can never really become that close because both of their partners are so against the other that, like, even though they both are like really down to move forward, I don't think they'll ever really be able to be back where they were.

Yeah.

I mean, I don't think they'll ever be back where they were because too much has happened.

But you couldn't, they can move forward, and I'm sure eventually the spouses will fall in line.

But Adam needs to take several seats.

I literally, I've never disliked a character so much who's literally not even a castmate on the show.

Like, yeah, no, I can't believe that he's still around on this show.

No, I know because they've had like so many marital troubles.

Like, remember, they went to Thailand and like they didn't get married, like, and then they had to get married at a surprise wedding.

Like, it was very twisted and very Reza.

Um, but it looks like it's gonna be a really good season, and it just like is such a good show.

Like, I really just advocate for it because because it's stunning yeah i will um i'll probably watch it i just um you know my content plate always full always constantly evolving yeah it's it's in the time slot that your real houses of atlanta used to be on oh sunday night it's a nice time to watch oh sunday night i just have to say i do feel better like having spoken and moved my limbs like Podcasting definitely, I'm still not great, but I definitely feel like I might be able to like go get something to eat, you know?

Yeah, and you could edit the vlog.

Yes, I will do that today.

Because I want to watch it.

Me too.

I was watching the clips last night and I was just like cracking up.

That is so funny.

I just remember laughing so hard.

I'm really excited.

And then if you guys like it,

we're going to do a reverse because Jackie deserves to be tortured and have her closet become a mess.

I was hanging stuff up.

I was being so supportive.

Anyways, that vlog will be up most likely today, patreon.com slash a morning toast.

We have so many vlogs, episodes, fun stuff.

If you're going to miss us for the long weekend that we're making a little longer, Patreon has your back.

It always does.

It's always there for you.

Constantly.

Constant.

So I hope everyone has a great day.

Sorry that there was no humping or dear toasters, but we're back in studio tomorrow.

We'll give you a nice, juicy, long episode, and we'll do deer toasters then so we can really finish out the week strong IRL.

Yeah, also, just something that I'm toying with that I just want to run by the group.

I'm getting a facial today.

Vlog.

Because my, no, no, no, no.

Because my crazier than that because my skin is trash and when you get a facial like you're not really supposed to wear makeup like

i'm thinking of tomorrow's show because like then after the show like i'm traveling and i don't need to wear makeup again till like friday i might

go no makeup on the show tomorrow okay here

never done that in my whole career I have done it on the breath, like a couple of my hangover episodes, but I don't think I've ever done it on the toast.

I mean, it's a fucking crazy thing to do.

And

the only time I feel like safe doing it is like if I have a spray tan.

Yeah, no, I'm not gonna have a spray tan, but today I am getting my brows and lashes dyed, which like is extremely good.

That helps.

So I just need to do maybe like

by the way,

I want to let you know, like I fully support it.

Like I think you're stunning no matter what.

I think I'm gonna do it because it's what's best for my skin.

My skin needs to breathe.

Like we wear a lot of makeup on the show.

I'm constantly putting makeup on, taking it off, like working out, sweat.

Like I need a break and it works for my schedule to not wear makeup tomorrow wow okay you know what i was actually thinking of maybe getting a spray tan today hidden up the versus pa and if i do i will join you wow and i might even like i might wear a hat you know oh my god she's misses hat because actually i make it like such a big deal in all of our vlogs i'm never wearing makeup in the vlog from last night not wearing makeups are protected there's a paywall to protect us there's it's protected space i agree okay but i love that for you i truly truly do thank you so um just like another reason to to tune in tomorrow.

There's always a reason to tune in.

We got to your toasters.

We've got NMJ, No Makeup Jackie, maybe an NMC.

Who knows?

Thank you guys.

That's our show.

Yes, it is.

Very good point.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Morning Toast, the Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the past five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give us video a thumbs up.

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So it's Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, iHeart, Radio Cast Box, all the places where we listen to podcasts.

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Hope you guys have an amazing hump day.

Don't forget to hump someone you love.

Theo.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Bye.