S4 Ep83: Seeing Things Differently: Thursday, May 6th, 2021

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Good

morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the Morning Toast.

Happy Thursday.

We have made it to the back half of the week.

Give yourself a pat on the back.

Acknowledge the space that you're in.

We've made it to the back half of the week, so give yourself a pat on the back.

We're over the hump.

Feels so good.

This week really did chug along slowly, but now it's all downhill from here.

Happy birthday to the Snatcheler.

Yes, it is a big day here at the Morning Toast.

Our co-worker, confidant, counselor, Margo, our sister, it is her birthday today.

So make sure to wish Margo a happy birthday.

Margo, we love you.

We love you so dearly.

And if anybody lets her know that we talked about her on the show, just let her know that we love her so dearly and we hope that she has the best day ever.

And that's all that we said.

Yeah, and she'll never hear this because she's not a supportive counselor, but it's her birthday.

I'm not going to say anything mean.

She'll hear it through the grapevine.

People like to let her know.

People like to let her know only when we say like...

borderline mean stuff, which we never do.

But we're giving you full permission to let her know that we spoke about her today, just wishing her the best on her birthday.

It's always exciting when it's the snitch's birthday.

Yeah, and you know, I'm gonna say something kind of crazy.

Like, I think I'm much more of a Stevie Wonder happy birthday girl than like the generic one.

Like when I, I was just about to sing, I was gonna say, happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday.

Like, I just think that song's better.

And I said what I said and I meant it.

Yeah, well, she might not watch it today, but it's also Archie Mountbatten Windsor's birthday today.

I'm sorry, what?

Archie Mountbatten Windsor.

Oh.

It's his birthday today, so maybe.

Megan Markles, baby.

Megan Markles Bebe.

Maybe he'll be watching and he gets a little taste of your beautiful sauce.

Imagine if Archie grew up to be a toaster.

I could see it.

Crazier things have happened.

So happy birthday to everyone whose birthday it is today.

Mainly Counselor Snitch.

Mainly Counselor Snitch, but also Archie.

But also Archie.

I am excited for today's show.

We, of course, have like so much to talk about.

The Real House Wise of New Jersey was on last night,

followed by like one of the best episodes of Watch Robins Live I've seen, definitely from remote studios.

It was the Real House Husbands of New Jersey, and it was just a great episode.

So, we're going to dive into all of that during the TV recap.

I watched a little bit of the bull type yesterday.

I was so busy filming this vlog for Patreon, and like it was killing me because I hate being busy, but also because I was like, I want to be watching the bull type, so I only got to watch one episode before red.

That's the best feeling when you have something that you're so into that you can't wait to get back to it.

And it's like juicy one-hour episodes.

Well, 45 minutes with commercials, but how many seasons are there?

I think three at least.

And it's coming back soon.

Oh, it's still on?

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

That is so exciting.

Yeah.

Someone told me that, like, you know, Jane gets better in the fourth season.

So I think there maybe is already four.

Oh, then maybe there's four already.

I just love diving into a big, fat, juicy like show with like hour-long episodes, six seasons, 22 episodes.

Like when I watch Lost.

It's all there waiting for you.

But I was busy because I was vlogging for our Patreon yesterday because, so I have closet organizers who come like maybe once or twice a year because of COVID I haven't seen them in like 18 months like the last time they were there Kate was pregnant and now her kid is like going to college like like so I haven't seen them in so long and my closet is I was actually ashamed of myself like for letting it get that bad like none of my cabinets closed it was just pandemonium and I can't even blame Ben because it was me too um we reorganized my whole closet it really looks like a sickening instagrammer's closet like that's the closet I deserve like I'm an elegant sometimes queen like sometimes

So, did the whole process, went through, found the weirdest shit.

For those who have already seen the video and wanted to know what the tarp was that I found.

Yes.

I actually thought for a second Ben had joined a cult and was in charge of

PR.

Claudia, I took a picture of the thing and I was going to post on my story, Is Ben in a cult?

But then I forgot and I was going to text you, is Ben in a cult, and I forgot.

But is Ben in a cult?

I found this like weird tarp that he had brought home like a few days ago.

And he said, Don't throw this out.

So it's obviously important to him.

And I opened it up.

It's this huge tarp.

Looks like when they set up for a step and repeat, it has like logos, but it's just this one symbol.

And I was thinking, I'm like, does he run the events for a cult?

Is he doing PR for a cult?

So he said I could get rid of it.

And he told me when he got home, he was like working on set like a few weeks ago for some like video shoot.

And they told him he could keep it and he like wanted it.

I have no idea.

Like, honestly, his answer just made me have more questions.

Totally.

That's concerning.

But all I care about is that I got to throw it away.

Like in a closet cleanout, me personally, I had 10 garbage bags full of donations.

Like, I felt Ben had three.

Like,

whatever.

I don't want to get into it.

But I throw everything away.

And then, like, years later, I'm like, where was that really important sentimental thing?

And I'm like, no, I probably threw it away.

Like, that's my cross to bear.

And Ben's cross to bear is like, he'll literally keep a receipt from 72 years ago and he'll know exactly where it is.

So

different strokes, but it felt so good to get it done.

My closet looks so good.

I did before and after shots.

I vlogged the whole thing.

It was super fun.

I got a little um of my coffee drama in there because it was just like a really busy day so check that out patreon.com slash morning show so that's the first episode for the month of may so good i really enjoyed watching it you inspired me not to do anything yet but like to think about doing something it's just the worst when like you know like your closet clean out is coming up like you're just gonna have to do it soon and to know that like it feels like yo i'm kipper like i'm on the other side of my closet cleanout like 364 more days probably till my next one.

It feels so good.

I'm so happy for you.

I really and and truly am.

It's the best feeling.

It is.

My nose is so itchy today.

My allergies are just, they're good, like my Zyrtec has been kicking in the last five days, but the allergies, they came for me this week.

They came in such a real way.

I'm so sorry.

It's okay.

I'm on the mend, but it was tough for a second.

But so if you see me scratching my nose, like I'm not picking it, I'm just like have an itchy nose.

No, I scratch my nose like literally all the time on the toast.

And like sometimes I'm not gonna lie, like I am picking it.

But a rum takes care.

He knows not to.

You know, I was like watching to

wait for the camera to go off me so I could scratch.

But you know what?

I'm just going to be real with you guys.

Like I might scratch my nose on my close-up and I'm not picking it.

Like it's just my allergies.

No, normalize scratching in and around your nostrils, but not it not being nose picking.

Yeah, like we should have, right?

No, or like you pick your nose with your index finger, but all other fingers.

Like if I, if I'm using my pinky, you just know it's a scratch.

Okay.

I think that's a good signal.

That way we don't have to like address it all the time.

Yeah, no, but like.

And that way if someone like takes a screenshot, it's just like, it looks weird, not crinky.

It looks weird, not cranky.

That's just like a lot of thinking, like, oh, my nose is itchy.

I just like, I'm a human.

I'll go scratch it.

But no, I'm like, oh, let me switch my finger.

I think I can do it.

I think she can too.

I think I, because I'm like so self-conscious of it.

But I'm really glad you brought that up.

Normalized scratching in and around your nostrils.

Yeah, like not everything is.

It's a nose pick, booger moment.

No, no, no.

Sometimes it is, though.

For sure.

But like, I think

boogers is like more of a hobby and not like a compulsion, like something that like you can't, if you don't do it that second, like you're in pain.

Do you know what I mean?

Can I ask you a question?

Sure.

Do you pick your nose like in private?

No, not with my finger, but like I will get a tissue and just like go.

That's not picking your nose.

That's like blowing your nose.

No, I'll go ham up in there with a tissue.

No, I definitely like, especially when I was a kid, like I was such a closeted nose picker.

Like you really wouldn't see me do it in public, but like you would not believe how much time I spend in my bedroom picking my nose.

And I'm proud to say like as an adult, like I've, I definitely am way less, but but I definitely still pick my nose.

For sure, but also, like, if you're doing it in your bedroom alone, like, that's your business.

That's your business.

You've almost no explanation.

You know, Ben had a booger wall

in your home?

No.

Oh, my God.

When he was a kid.

Oh, okay.

Like, you know, you put the boogers behind your

like bed frame or something.

And then, like, when you move six years later, your parents find your booger wall.

Stop.

That is so disgusting.

Yeah.

No, but what you do in the privacy of your own home is your business and you owe us no explanation.

No, but I share everything.

But like what I was about to do on this couch, like like I owed everyone an explanation.

But it was a scratchy that I hadn't lost my mind and started picking my nose on the show.

Just know, like when and if the day comes that Jackie starts picking her nose on the show, like the end of the show is very close by.

Like the final, we will be closing down the show.

I totally obviously in such like a negative headspace if you start doing that, like your mental health obviously.

I don't care about the show.

I don't care about myself.

Like it's, it's, I'm in a bad spot.

I just think I'm touching my nose a lot now that we're like talking about it.

Okay, yeah, no, I feel it.

We can pivot.

We can pivot.

Other than all of that, yesterday, what did I do?

Oh, I caught up on all the episodes of New Jersey that I had missed.

I did go for a run on a treadmill and it was fantastic.

Where you're working on?

In my building's gym, I got a slot and I went for a run on the treadmill using a Peloton tread class.

Oh, tread class.

No, not the Peloton tread, but I pull it up on my phone.

But did you learn nothing?

I pull it up on my phone and then I use the treadmill.

I was extra cautious after yesterday's conversation and it was a really great workout.

I'm really into switching it up right now.

Fabulous.

Fabulous.

I really just like slaved away in the closet all day and then got like so much work done.

I forgot to do like one of my TikToks.

It was really sad because I think I know people were really upset.

Oh, TikTok you were supposed to do.

I've been starting this other new series.

Here's what you missed on the morning toast in 60 seconds or less, just for people who maybe don't know about the toast.

Bite-sized toast.

Bite-sized toast.

Crumb.

Crum.

The morning crumb.

So.

I forgot to do that yesterday, but

what was I going to say?

You were about to say something

major.

So somebody posted this in the Toast After Dark or else I never would have seen it.

Some, you know, this meme going around of like the longest coffee order ever.

Starbucks baristas are sharing their experiences with customers who literally have the longest orders.

Like the stickers on the drinks like go all the way down.

Yeah.

So then this article was like writing about the meme.

I think it was a Yahoo article.

And then they were talking about how like trying coffee on TikTok is so trendy.

TikToker Claudia Ashre tries a new beverage every day.

And I'm like, did you just call me a TikToker?

I think that's it.

Official.

Dreams have been realized.

I'm moving to LA and I'm proud to announce I'll be joining the Hype House.

I think you're going to love it.

I think you're going to love it there.

They're having a new Netflix show.

So it's so funny.

They have a Netflix reality show.

Netflix is like really investing in reality shows.

They have one on Netflix.

And like,

so the Hype House.

In its when when COVID first started, it was like Addison, Charlie.

What it is now, it's like literally like six people.

I don't know who any of them are.

Like all the cool people left.

So it's not cool anymore.

There is another house where all the boys from Hype House went.

It's called Sway House.

They're like sponsored by Triller.

But, like, a bunch of losers are left in the Hype House.

But, like, they're losers compared to like the big names.

Yes.

But they're still, like, if you join the Hype House, like, you would reach a level of TikTok fame.

Like, it's something.

You would reach a lot of followers.

I don't know if you would, you wouldn't reach TikTok fame.

Yeah, maybe, yeah.

TikTok fame.

Yeah.

But not real fame.

Specifically, TikTok fame.

So when Netflix announced that they got a reality show, like the TikTokers went wild because Hype House is like literally a joke.

And people were furious that Hype House got a season one but the society never got a season two and literally like that was like the cause like people were furious about that in particular and I'm so glad that the Gen Z's on Millennial I mean the Gen Z's on TikTok like have their priorities in order me too I'm glad to hear that people have not given up for society season two I will never give up like ever ever I'm literally booking a flight to Silicon Valley heading to the Netflix headquarters and literally banging on their door Knock, knock.

Whose fucking decision was that?

Somebody who should be fired because they're obviously not in tune with what's necessary.

Obviously, not going to make any decisions.

No, not at all.

And it still hurts.

Yeah.

Well, when does this Hype House show come out?

I don't know, but like, I'm kind of excited.

Yeah, that sounds like something that's in tune with what's necessary.

Like, that's what the kids are up to.

I feel like even when Hype House was popping off at the beginning of COVID, we were like, someone get a film crew in there and like make it a reality show.

So I just wish they didn't wait till all the cold people left.

One year later, someone listened.

Yeah.

Well, that's what we do here in the morning.

Just tell people what to do.

Okay, now I think without further ado to do it do, it is time for the past five stories that you, yeah, you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

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Love it.

Okay, first story, some big digital news.

Prince William and Kate Middleton launch a YouTube channel.

Prince William and Kate are bringing the monarchy to YouTube.

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge launched their YouTube channel on Wednesday with a 25-second video montage of the couple at various philanthropic events and galas.

He said, by the way, you have to be careful what you say now because these guys, they're filming everything.

She says, I know.

The compilation ends with Kate candidly telling her husband, you didn't need to roll your R's.

He says, do I not?

Fans will also get to see clips of the royal family, including Queen Elizabeth and William and Kate's three children, Prince George, Princess Charlotte, and Prince Louis.

So I'm feeling kind of conflicted about this.

Let me tell you why, because I do feel like on what I've learned from the crown is that Queen Elizabeth has been really instrumental in ushering the royal family into a new generation, the 21st century.

And this is like they have Instagrams.

Like I get it.

Something about this just feels like it's been taken too far.

Okay.

I was really surprised because I saw this news first.

I watched their little teaser video and I was like, this is so cute.

It reminds me of when we saw on the crown like how Queen Elizabeth like invited like TV cameras into her home and it was like

a shock to everyone, but it was like TV is the future and we're going to be a part of the future.

So to me, this just feels like it's like history joining the 21st century, 2021.

Like we're on YouTube now.

And yes, and they are on Instagram.

So they obviously are embracing social media.

But then I read the comments on the Instagram, the Morning Toast Instagram post, and people are so not here for this.

Like they think it's like Kate and Will are going to be doing like drunk get ready with me and like doing like classic

classic YouTube content, which I don't think that they're going do.

No, it's gonna be like their like boring everyday work, like you know, going to visit like different

organizations.

Like it's just gonna be like, it's not gonna be classic YouTube content.

It's honestly just gonna be like what they do on television every time they go visit their royal tours, visiting villages.

Like, yeah, it's just gonna be that.

It's just like another place for them to upload these videos that they're already taking.

Yeah.

So I didn't think it was like that big of a deal that they're starting a YouTube channel.

I mean, if she starts doing like cooking tutorials and like how I, how to use the Dyson Air Rax.

I would watch that.

She needs to do a blowout tutorial for everyone.

For everyone.

And honestly, if they don't give the people what they need, I am fucking unsubscribing.

Yeah.

So I was personally here for this and I read the comments.

I was like, oh, okay, I guess like I'm not.

Well, here's the thing.

I don't agree with everyone else.

And I get what people are like, this is a weird move.

Like if you expect them to be like doing YouTube-y content.

But I think like they have camera crews that follow them.

They're always making these little videos.

They post a lot of videos on their Instagrams and stuff.

This just seems like a new place to upload their existing, like kind of boring video content.

I think that the concept of them having a YouTube channel is not bizarre at all.

Like companies have YouTube channels.

It's not just people anymore.

It's not just influencers.

Like I don't think that's weird.

I just think like the fact that they haven't had one already and now they're like launching it and makes of course all this drama like with all the Megan and Harry stuff like this just feels like thirsty to me.

I don't know, but they're not thirsty to the royal family.

There's just something weird about it.

I can't put my finger on it.

That's what it is.

Got it.

I at first didn't read it as thirst, but upon seeing seeing that others did, I see where they're coming from.

I just don't expect them to

do the things that we would normally expect from you to.

And I love Will and Kate.

Like, I literally stayed up in high school

until like five in the morning to watch their wedding.

Like, I literally love them.

And so it's hard for me, you know, to speak out against, but I just don't think that this was it.

I just think that this is not as big of a deal as it seems.

It just is like they're just uploading videos.

I know, but you can't deny.

You must trust your gut.

When you sent me that link, I'm like, what the fuck?

Like, it really really freaked.

And I can't tell you why.

It just felt so odd.

That's so funny because I sent it to you as, like, with excitement.

And I was like, excitement excites me.

I received it with like confusion and shadiness.

Interesting.

So it was just like our first impressions

were so different.

Yeah.

Also, they changed their Instagram handle from Kensington Royal to Duke and Duchess of Cambridge.

And that's what their YouTube channel name is to.

And so I guess they're like going through a rebrand as a couple, just like, which makes sense.

I mean, now it's like, why was it ever called Kensington Royal?

nobody knows what that is just because that's where they live like nobody well actually probably people in london and like who live in the kensington palace no people kensington royal oh yeah yeah it's just like it's just confusing there's so many homes there's so many palaces there's so many

and as much as like they are like the leaders of the commonwealth they are global figures and like i don't know the different homes right and so for me they should have changed it yeah so duke and duchess of cambridge yeah they're gonna lead with that sounds good so what's the instagram handle Duke and Duchess.

It's long.

It fits?

Damn, it fits.

Nice.

I guess the royals can really do anything they want.

Yeah.

And this winter break, I want Jordan.

I want that Instagram handle.

So it's a new era.

I'm excited.

We really don't know much about their personalities.

No, not at all.

But I also haven't spent that much time looking for Instagram.

For their personalities yet.

I feel that.

So we shall see.

Very exciting.

Are you ready for our next story?

I am.

Lori Harvey put her boyfriend Michael B.

Jordan on on a skincare regimen.

LOL.

Lori Harvey is making boyfriend Michael B.

Jordan the face of her forthcoming skincare line.

The model revealed in a video for Vogue that the actor has been serving as her live test model ahead of the launch.

She said, I tested all my products, of course, on myself, but I also tested them on my boyfriend.

He has become my live test model, so now he's very into his skincare routine as well.

She also said, He tells me all the time that when he's on set, the makeup artists compliment his skin now.

That is so beautiful.

I know, like, I really don't want to believe the people who like like, so

are convinced that, like, their relationship is, like, so fake PR.

But, like, this article and interview, like, gives me that vibe a little bit.

But, like, ship them so hard.

I don't, I don't want to believe it.

And I never did believe it.

I haven't heard anything like that.

I heard it once, but, but I never, I believe in it.

I believe it.

I believed in it too, but this article's giving me like a little like Sean and Camilla, like, you know.

But Sean and Camilla are so real.

I know, but, like,

you know what I'm saying?

Yeah, I hear what you're saying.

I didn't read it.

Again, I didn't read it that way.

I just thought it was like.

We're just like reading things differently.

No, like it's, and I feel like yesterday.

I feel like yesterday too, also.

We read Leah's outfit.

We read differently.

Oh, and I think people agreed with me.

No, for sure.

But like, I just feel like we can always come.

At the end, we get on the same page, but it's just like, you saw this story and I saw the story and we had totally different reactions.

No, and maybe it's just like the way that you read this particular interview, but I'm like, this is so fake.

No, because it's like when you read these quotes and when someone's writing it up, it seems like, so Kelly's mind was described.

But if she's just doing her Vogue YouTube tutorial and she's like, I'm starting a skincare routine, I'm testing out my boyfriend.

Like, that's cute.

You know, it definitely is.

Maybe I just feel like it's like fraudulent because she's just like pushing her makeup.

So, like, that's why.

Maybe it's not about the relationship.

Maybe it's just like marketing.

Yeah, it's all of those things.

Yeah.

No, and like, I really do believe in them.

The pictures of them are so cute in St.

Bart's.

And I have a ship built out to sea for them.

It's already gone.

And they're literally on it taking photos and paddleboarding.

It's so cute.

It's so sickening.

We don't even need to ship them because they've already, they BYOS'd.

They brought their own ship.

But speaking of skincare, I saw a commercial on TV yesterday for JLo Beauty.

And it was literally like,

I think they built JLo Beauty, like when her and A-Rod were still together.

And I feel like he definitely helped her get like crazy investors because it was just like the most expensive commercial I'd ever seen in my life.

Her skin looked, I was literally about to buy JLo Beauty at jlobeauty.com.

Like her skin looked like honey.

What was the premise of the commercial?

Just promoting.

She's like, do you remember when you were growing up?

There were those Cindy Crawford commercials.

Like, people for years have asked me about my skin.

It was kind of like an infomercial.

Do you remember them?

No.

Oh, well, it was like, the most beautiful woman in the world is giving away her beauty secrets.

Here they are.

Buy it at hsn.com or whatever.

The commercial was giving me like that kind of vibe because she was like, for years, people have asked me about my skincare.

And honestly, I couldn't find it all in one place.

So you know what I did?

I did it myself.

And she was like, I took my grandmother's olive oil extract

formula and formulated it into our olive oil skincare.

And it was just like stunningly done for like a celebrity brand.

Like celebrities and influencers, even their successful brands, like have that stigma.

It was literally like Le Maire.

Like it was so elegant.

I was like, damn.

I don't love the name JLo Beauty.

It's just like a celebrity brand.

Yeah.

Whereas I really feel like that she must have like a huge backer, like some company or some person, she, her and A-ron must have like raised money for it because it's like really professionally well done.

And so I just felt like the name was like a little, I was trying to think of like what I would have called it.

Like I would have called it like J-Love.

J-Lo Beauty, you know, like something else.

J-Lo Beauty is like not a good name.

Okay.

But it was like a fancy, it was like an expensive commercial.

Oh, I can't wait to see, but then I'm totally going to be influenced.

And that's just like the last thing I need.

I know, because it's also, it's priced like Le Maire.

It's very expensive.

Le Maire priced?

No, but it's priced like Lancome.

Like, I don't think they would sell it at Ulta.

Maybe they do.

I don't shit.

I'm speaking out of turn, but it's like expensive.

It's high.

High end.

High end.

Interesting.

Yeah, and the packaging is like sickening, but I just can't get, I just don't like the name, it's like bothering me.

Oh, I'm sorry, but I feel like that's her thing.

I think she did like shoes for a while, and it's like how Kim did all these things until she found skims, and like that was her niche.

I think J-Lo has found her niche.

Like, I think this is gonna be the thing that takes her into the billionaire stratosphere.

Wow, okay, what an endorsement!

I can't wait to check it out.

And before I mention, I've never tried or seen a product in my life, but like, that's that's some great marketing.

Yeah, no, the marketing is working.

Like, I'm gonna get something

now.

I've been speaking about it, like, maybe I could just get a PR package thing because I'm really in need of like a good eye cream and hydration multiplier.

Yeah, oh, share with me.

Yeah, okay.

Our next story is so sick and disgusting.

Um, someone that we never really talk about, Josh Duggar, was arrested last week.

Yeah, we

covered it on the toes.

Oh, sorry, I wasn't a duplicate story.

No, no, no, no, because now he's out on bail and he had more than 200 images of child sexual abuse material on his computer, say the authorities.

Also,

the agent described multiple torrent files downloaded from a child abuse series.

He described as within the top five of the worst of the worst that he has ever examined oh my god this story gives me such a pit i've never watched the duggers me neither i'm so so proud of that like never have been a dugger

slugger i don't know what the fans call themselves i mean i did end up on dugger tiktok there's like a lot of people like super invested in this family yeah no a lot of people they do they actually have 19 kids is it that's what the show is called 19 kids and counting so like the two parents jim bob and billy bob

what are their they have 19

they have 19 kids or like with all the grandkids no i think it's nine because when the show started none of them were like married with kids okay so i think jim bob i think that's his name and i don't know the wife's name teresa whatever i think that they have 19 kids which is just

honestly not to be judgmental It's insane.

Like, who needs that many kids?

And I believe in big families.

They have 19.

Really have 19 kids?

They have 20.

I guess they had one more.

oh they adopted the 20th when the show had already are there any twins or triplets i do believe there are but like have you i actually i take it back i have seen some episodes of the show because i remember being taken aback by their sleeping arrangements like with so many kids like it was a bum like but in a bedroom

it was actual pandemonium wow that's crazy and that's just i think really indicative of the state of our like culture that like people were obsessed with the duckers before they found out about the sex the child abuse.

Let me tell you why this is so upsetting.

Obviously, because the crime itself is so abhorrent and disgusting, like vile, the worst of the worst.

But, like, we knew, you know, like years ago, there were all these allegations from the other siblings.

I think one of the older girls is no longer associated with the family.

And she and her husband do YouTube videos, and they said that, like, this support the LGBTQ and like literally quaked the Duggars down.

Like, so they're like kind of broken from that.

But when we all heard Josh Duggar got arrested, like, what did we think it was for?

Like, we all knew what it was going to be.

Yeah.

So it just seems like this, because we all knew, like, this is something that could and should have been avoided.

Yeah.

And just like, so he's out on bail now, but there was a virtual detention hearing for his charges.

And the prosecutor said he had more than 200 images of children on his computer and that they were some of the worst they've ever seen.

And I did see an article that said, like, he should be allowed to be released on bail because he's not a flight risk, because he's so famous and recognizable that, like, a star like him couldn't possibly run away without being noticed.

It's like, Josh Duggar, Tugger, have a seat.

Sit the fuck down.

Sit the fuck down.

Free.

Yeah.

This is so upsetting and so disgusting.

And just like, I honestly like hate this family.

Yeah.

And this man.

Yeah.

Agreed.

Are you ready for our next story?

See, good news.

Oh, the good news brought to you, you guys.

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It feels good.

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Honestly, I feel like we should release a fragrance called Good.

That's a good idea.

That's a good idea.

Let's talk to Scentbird.

Like, it just, let's talk to Sembird.

Or, like,

by the way, I'm dead serious.

I think we need a perfume.

I think we do too because.

Because we both need a signature fragrance, and also the bottle could be like a sickening palm leaf or something.

Yeah.

And it smells good.

Wait, by the way, I don't know how we've never thought of doing a fragrance before.

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And then we'll partner a Scentbird.

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For them to put

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That is our next business proposal.

I'm on it.

I'm so excited.

Are you excited for our next story?

I'm so excited.

I'm hyping it up like a lot.

No, no, no.

It's good news for New York, for actors, actresses.

Broadway will reopen at full capacity in New York City on September 14th.

September?

Okay, they could open sooner, but they need time to promote the shows, to practice, to wait for tourists to come back.

So even though a lot of things in New York will be opening up

July and also May 16th is a date that's floating around of things like coming back.

They need time.

Day that it will all be ready, September 14th.

And I think we should go see a show, but that's just me.

I'm literally sitting front row at Wicked.

Like, I fucking love Wicked.

Ooh, that's the one you would want to see?

I think so.

What about you?

I hadn't thought about it.

I was thinking something that I'd never seen before.

Like, yeah, but why?

But

might as well go with something I know I'm gonna love.

And honestly, if you still can be with the wizard.

When did you want to do that?

And then maybe I could wear this hat to the party tonight.

If you don't wear a hat to the party tonight, I'm not talking to you.

Okay.

Done.

Done.

Do you know if you twist my arm?

No, that's exciting.

I mean, it's actually crazy because it's like, great, Broadway's back, but like, these are professional actors.

They actually need like weeks to train.

Yeah, so they're having those weeks now.

Tickets are expected to go on sale on Thursday.

And

tourists usually account for 65% of annual live theater ticket sales in the city, but like it's not a super tourist attraction right now.

So that's the date.

Okay.

I mean, if you're a Broadway fan from out of town, like start planning.

Support local theater artists.

Yeah.

And you too can still be with the wizard.

What you've hoped and waited for.

You could have all you've ever wanted.

That was really good and really like sweet.

You sound like a kid

who got cast like in the Nutcracker, you know.

Thank you, Claudia.

Thank you.

But I don't want it.

No.

I can't want it

anymore.

Alfie?

Just say you're sorry.

No, bitch.

I'm out of here.

Give me my broom.

You guys, you don't have to go to Broadway, actually.

You can just watch the morning toast.

No, literally.

Alphaba and Glenda.

Literally.

Literally.

We are literally Alphaba and Glenda.

We literally are.

Are we literally Alphaba and Glenda or figuratively?

We're physically.

And literally.

And mentally.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

Some more good news.

Final story.

It's actually, it's a really good intro because SpaceX has landed a Mars rocket prototype for the first time.

This is some big, good space news.

Good for Elon, good for space.

SpaceX just launched another test flight of an early Mars rocket prototype at its South Texas facility, sending the towering silver vehicle roaring up to about six miles above Earth, then putting it through a series of aerial acrobatics before relighting two of its engines.

And put it through a series of areolas?

That's what I thought you were going to say.

Really?

Before relighting two of its engines and landing it upright back on a landing pad.

So.

Like, can I be honest?

No.

Yeah.

Like, I just really don't give a shit.

Like, until somebody

builds a house on Mars and like I can go visit it.

Like I really don't care.

I know it's important and I'm not sure.

So these things need to happen in order to get to a place where houses are built on.

And like me and the me and the aliens are chilling.

Like I get it.

But like I'm just not interested.

It's like, I thought we already did this.

Yeah, but it's baby steps, you know?

I know it's one

small step for man.

One large leap for mankind.

Yeah, big leap for mankind.

Can we talk about that?

I don't really understand.

Oh, it's a small step for the man who's the man who stepped on the moon.

It was a small step for him, but it was a leap for mankind.

He's got chills.

I never understood that.

Claudia, that's beautiful.

Do you think that he thought of what he was going to say before?

Yes.

I do remember reading somewhere,

I feel like I remember that they had, it was such a momentous moment that they had planned like what the first words on the moon were going to be.

I had to chip me because if he just kind of like spit

babbling on.

It's like, wow, this guy should have been a philosopher, not an Socrates.

I don't know Socrates landed on the moon.

Yeah.

Do you know who claimed those immortal words?

Neil Armstrong?

Okay, well, that's cool.

Like, I guess I'm happy for him.

I just, like, I know that.

And that's some good news, like, going into his big weekend, hosting SNL.

Maybe he'll mention it.

So, yeah, I think we should talk about that because I'm still not convinced I shouldn't buy more Doge because Elon Musk is going to like blow Doge.

And Doge is already up so much right now.

You know what?

Buy more Doge.

Right now?

Hold on.

It'll take me one second.

How much did you spend the first time?

$200.

I think you should spend another $200.

I think that's what I was planning on doing.

Just do it.

But it's like, I bought it in at 0.04 and now it's at 0.6.

But you know what?

I'm doing it.

Whatever.

It's still like 0.6.

What if one day it gets to one or two?

$200.

Right?

That's

right.

Then should I just do like a million?

There you go.

$200 more.

It's really like fine.

Sending order.

Great.

Done.

Okay.

So now

I have.

I'm not, I don't understand how any of this works, but to the moon.

Literal to the moon and Mars.

Oh,

yeah, one step for Dogecoin.

Is that one large leap for Claudia?

Huge.

You have no idea.

Like, this money could change my life.

But what I was going to say about SNL is that, like, I'm just really, I'm kind of over everyone being so upset about Elon Musk.

Like, these castmates who are all feclamped, it's like, are you serious?

Like, you get to meet one of the greatest minds of our time.

Okay, maybe you don't know.

Literal Albert Einstein is going on SNL.

This is why, like, I don't don't really agree with my my generation

go albert go elon go elon it's your birthday go elon no like this is where i just don't really like under like agree with my generation and like my culture sometimes it's like okay i'm still not 100 sure like why elon musk is considered controversial but i guess it has a lot to do with um like the environment i really don't know um but okay people may have legitimate gripes with him but like we're really gonna like not like let him host snl like like we're just gonna let, like, I just can't get on the same.

I literally can't even speak because I just don't understand why these people are so bent out of shape about.

Yes, but I just want to say that Elon Musk was spotted going out to dinner with some of the SNL castmates, and he said that it's been awesome so far preparing for the show.

And these are the castmates that he did was spotted at dinner with.

Okay, like, definitely not Bowen Yang or Adie Bryant, right?

No, of course not.

Wait, Adie Bryant isn't even on.

Wait, is she on SNL still?

Yeah, okay, sorry.

I thought she left.

Pete Davidson.

Thank God.

Colin Jost.

Thank God.

Keenan Thompson.

Thank God.

Chris Red.

Kate McKinnon.

Oh, shoot.

Nope.

Chloe Feynman.

Lit for her.

Eggo Nodem.

Okay, that's good.

That's good.

That's good.

I'm glad that he's making friends.

Like, they're going to dinner.

It's so sad because, like, as much as it's like this big popular thing, you spend the whole week with these people and you want them to like you.

Yeah.

And I think some of them probably do like him.

Some of them are outspoken against him.

And I'm pretty sure Lauren said if any of them don't want to do that,

they don't have to.

No, I know.

I'm like, why is that even a thing?

Like, I'm just, I refuse to go down a rabbit hole of like why Elon Musk is bad.

Like, if there's stuff there, like, I just don't want to know.

But as far as I know, he's a genius.

Like, geniuses say and do crazy things.

Yeah.

It's part of the geniosity.

Like, hello, I'm a genius.

That's why I'm always getting in trouble.

Yeah, totally.

I'm so excited for SNL.

Me too.

Maybe we should like watch together, even though it's on so late.

I have a party, so like I'm really not even gonna be able to watch it live.

Oh, but I will be watching my Robin Hood live.

I think I'll watch live.

100%.

What are you gonna go to bed?

No.

Do you have plans?

No, I don't have plans.

I'm going to like a full-blown like cocktail party because you know, I've said this a million times.

Like, we're living in a post-pandemic world.

Do not look for me.

Yeah.

I don't want to be found.

No.

I'm in Mikanos.

I'm on the edge of a cliff.

I'm with Norma Kamale.

I'm touching everyone.

Like, that's where I am, physically and emotionally.

Do not look for me.

No.

Ever.

We are not.

We won't.

Only from 10 to 12 are we looking for you.

No, Monday through Friday, like I can mostly be found.

And I'm not against being found, but mostly maybe like Thursday night to Monday morning, like do not even attempt to look for me.

Like I'm okay.

Don't want to be found.

Great.

Don't worry.

Thank you.

I got you.

I'll cover for you.

Let's dive into our TV recap.

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Real houses in New Jersey was like low-key boring because Jackie's party got like imploded from like Dolores didn't want to come and then like Melissa had to go because Joe was in the hospital and she felt so sad for Jackie.

I thought it was a trip because they were going to Glenmere Mansion and then all the women showed up without rolling suitcases and so I was like oh it's a day trip and they're going to drive so far.

To drink and then drive back like torture.

Torturous day.

She should have just celebrated.

She should have just you know done one of her classic pizza parties in the lawn on the basketball court.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So I like felt bad for her but like loved the drama of kidney stones and I loved that Dolores was like tell David to go I mean tell Joe to go to Patterson Hospital.

That's where David is today, and I'll send him over.

And, like, of course, the night before, Joe was being such a prick to Dolores about David.

And then David's the one taking care of him, passing his kidney stones.

And I've never had, have you never had a brush with kidney stone?

I don't know anyone who's had one, but they sound painful because Joey had one on Friends.

Yeah, really painful.

I just want to say in the Battle of Dolores versus Everyone, I'm on Dolores' side completely.

Of course.

Everyone is just like being so nosy.

And by the way, like, yeah, she said this last season and she said that this season.

And you guys are like so confused.

But like, she said from the beginning of the season that she's happy.

She looks happy.

She seems happy.

I would not question her happiness if I was her friend.

No, she looks like she's in such a good place.

She looks like she's in the best place out of maybe all of them.

When she was having her kids dinner, that was

so nice.

And then when she said, like, he shows up when it counts, yeah, he doesn't come to these like dumb housewife shit.

Maybe you guys want to be on the show.

No, but like, that's not as important to her as like, you're showing up for my kid's birthday.

Like, he shows up when it matters, and those things don't matter.

I heard you, Dolores.

I see you 100%.

Yes, because Jackie, when Dolores stormed out of the party at Melissa's house, no, is there any Melissa that girl?

Michelle.

Michelle.

I'm like, no, there's not two Melissa's.

Jackie was like, you know, just last year she said she wanted a ring and like now I guess she doesn't.

We just never got the update.

And I was like, okay, I guess that's a good point.

And then Marge was like, no, we didn't get the update, but like we all know, we just listened to her.

I'm like, we got it.

Like she doesn't need to write it out.

And once again, like Marge just likes speaking facts, being the true moral compass of the show, and the only one who's being, who didn't participate in the poll and who's being a good friend to Dolores.

Like, I'm so on Team Dolores.

All the other women are so annoying.

Jennifer's so fucking annoying.

Like, I try to like her because she's a great TV, but like, my God, she's such a bad friend and she's so annoying.

And she's supposed to be, she has been like blindly loyal to Teresa and Dolores this whole time.

And now she's just being a pain in the ass because she feels like it.

Yeah.

Also, I'm so excited to see her renovate her home.

Jennifer.

Yeah.

And it looks great.

I love the furniture.

Is that the Z Gallery couch?

It didn't look so similar to our couch, but her whole aesthetic was giving me Z Gallery Luca.

The pillars were definitely Z Gallery.

I think it's the Z Gallery Luca couch that we have.

I loved that whole, how she like kind of split her living room up into two living rooms.

I loved the big-ass coffee table.

It was stunning.

Like, that will be inspo for me one day.

Yeah, no, it must be so nice to just like have a revamp.

And

her home was so weird looking before.

Yeah.

And I didn't really notice until like they were all going over there in the last week's episode.

Jen Jackby was like, this is like the Taj Mahala if the Taja Mahal had a furniture.

Mortgage and no furniture.

And it reminds me of Teresa's.

Yeah.

Like big house, no furniture.

I wonder, I just saw Teresa TikToking in her old house, so I guess she hasn't moved out and bought a new one yet.

She did buy the one.

She bought one.

Yeah.

But she hasn't moved out.

Or maybe the other one hasn't sold.

Maybe.

Because I'm really excited for this new chapter for her.

Me too.

Like, I actually was singing how in the beginning of the season, she was bothering me so much, and I couldn't imagine watching another episode.

With her being the star.

And now that she's like in this happy place, she's not fighting with anyone and she's just talking about like her boyfriend.

It really does go go to prove like she's been such a miserable person these last few years because she's been going through miserable things and now that like a lot of that has subsided she definitely is like a better person for it So as much as I've been annoyed at everyone like giving her a pass all these seasons It's like she really hasn't always been this animal like she was just going through so much Yeah, they were doing a lot of flashbacks and I think it was Melissa who said like Teresa has not been happy in 10 years in her opinion and when they flash back to like 2009 so like more than 10 years ago when they moved into the house and the girls were so little and it was before all the um tax stuff she was like a completely different person yeah and she was still like saying dumb things and like starting fights she was just but like she wasn't this life miserable like soul sucking sucks the life out of every room person and that's who she's become but she's really on the other side of it now like with her boyfriend and and joe is so happy for her and i know she's getting annoyed at joe for like spilling the beans but like how can he not be excited she's been in a miserable marriage for so long and in a miserable legal battle situation for the last eight years.

Like you have to be happy for her.

You really do.

Yeah, and I'm happy for her, and I can, like, move forward now.

I've, I've moved on from the Jackie and Evan stuff.

So has Jackie, and so has Evan.

Yeah, but now I'm moving forward.

But I watched Watch What Happens live last night, which we need to talk about, but I feel like everyone's always sort of like putting like Teresa, Jackie, and Evan like in the same like, like there's something weird.

There's something weird.

Teresa like would literally do anything to fuck Evan and that's what I think.

I don't disagree.

There's some, and she also like kind of wants to fuck her brother.

But the Watch What Happens Live special, which they've been doing the specials every day this week.

Last episode was, last night was All the Real House Buddhists of New York.

The night before that was Blast from the Past.

So they had like people who used to have shows on Bravo.

And last night was

House Husbands of New Jersey.

The Real House Husbands of New Jersey.

They did like a special intro for the show where they did like a mock tagline.

It was so good.

Franks was like, I don't know where these other men rank, but there's a reason they call me Big Frank.

And

when Bill's was like, I'm the only Bill my wife takes care of.

No, the only Bill my husband my wife is responsible for, I'm the only bill my wife is responsible for.

Joe Benigno was like, I wear the pants, but my wife picks out the sheriff.

No, like these are better than housewife tables.

Joe Gorgas was so lame, like we get it, your wife has a store called Envy.

You may envy my wife, but wait till you see my life.

Lame.

Yeah.

And Evans was, the only thing I do at the gym is turn heads.

Why do I remember every single one of these things?

No, and also like, why is Evans still talking about the gym?

Like, well, I think they probably wrote that for him, and that's literally the only notable thing he's really contributed.

Or it could be about how he doesn't get blowjobs.

My wife may not blow me, but maybe the girl at the gym will.

Something like that.

And it was a great episode.

It's actually just a really interesting dynamic, how there's so many fights amongst the women.

And when Eddie asked them about the different fights, like they do disagree.

But someone asked, they're like, how do you guys stay like best friends, but your wives fight and like it doesn't.

affect you and they were like we really just don't like care yeah no they all like agree with their wives and no one did not defend their wife and they said they didn't mad at the other man for not for what their wife did.

They obviously like have this pact and like made an agreement early on like whatever goes on with these women like even when like they started fighting at the jersey shore and the men just got it from the table like they're not interested they don't care and I loved it.

I think they also just have like a good sense about them to be like this is our wives jobs like it's really not that personal most of the time.

So just let them do their thing.

I can if their relationships change as much as the ladies like it would always be they couldn't keep up yeah but i just like loved it and honestly like i

last night like i think i actually had a dream because i've like fell in love with friend katania like all over again the way he was just like talking about dolores who he's not even married to but he was just like defending her so wholeheartedly like

I don't know.

He was just like saying the sweetest things about her.

And like, I just like ship that.

I really do.

Like I ship them so hard.

It's crazy.

I'm thinking about like, why?

It'll never happen.

Why can't he stop cheating?

Right.

No, she said, like, I'll never get back with him because I'll never be able to really forgive him for what he did.

And he said, I would never get back with her because he's, I can't guarantee that I wouldn't cheat on her.

I'm like, are you fucking kidding me?

Like, that's crazy.

But they just love each other so much.

And, like, I'm telling you, if they tried, like, there's something there.

No, I love their modern family.

I love David.

I think he gives Dolores that stability that she needs.

Frank is like family at this point.

They're literally like brother and sister.

Yes.

You know what I mean?

I just think about them so hard.

In that way, like they're family, but they're not.

like in love.

But when they like show pictures of like when the kids were really young and they were taking these family portraits, like they were so adorable, like such a jersey couple.

Yeah, so who's your favorite?

Okay, let's go through.

Evan is not my favorite, but he is the one I would definitely like, fuck.

Um, love Joe Benigno, he's up there.

And why was Andy calling him Joe Benigno?

Is that how it's pronounced?

I don't think so.

When Andy like said to Frank, Did you just did you get Botox?

I was shocked because I didn't even notice it, but his forehead literally didn't move.

No, I know.

And then he, I'm glad he came clean because everyone would have been like, oh, so you're a liar.

That's so lame.

Yeah.

Okay, so honestly, it's between Frank or Joe Ben Benigno.

And I might have to say Frank.

Yeah, Frank or also Bill Aiden.

I love Bill Aiden, but on the episode, he was like giving me nothing.

He was like not even talking, and he was very nervous.

He was such a class act.

So classy.

He, like, every, he had an answer for everything.

I think, like, he's, like, in the drama, but so above it.

I might go Bill.

No, and he literally.

Bill or Frank for me.

And he did.

And his wife is so indefensible.

Of all the women, I think she's the one who's the most indefensible besides Teresa, but she didn't have a husband there.

I think, and I have a lot of respect for the fact that he didn't waiver.

He's like, no, I think Jennifer should have said that.

But, like, literally, he's such a reasonable man.

He obviously doesn't think that.

No, but like, he's a good husband for sure.

I think, like, the whole house husband thing drives Teresa crazy because she thinks it's her show.

But, like, literally, I tune in for the men.

No, I don't think so.

I think she likes being surrounded by the guys.

Like, I don't, and she just finds another way to make it about her.

Also, maybe eventually, like, Louis will be part of

the group.

And Prima, like, is he going to be?

I don't know why he wouldn't be.

Like, he posts on Instagram and stuff.

Joe loves him.

And everyone says, like, they're so serious, like, they would get married.

And if David can be on the show, like, I think Louis should be, too.

No, of course, but it's about, A, does he want to be a part of it?

And B, like, will the men, like, want to be brothers poker night with him?

Because they said, Andy was like.

Why don't you guys, you have such this click?

Like, why not David?

Like, David is the one who's actually dating Dolores.

And they said they invite him to everything, but he works.

And I just honestly, I think what they're not saying is that he just doesn't want to be on the show that much.

He does it because Dolores loves it.

It's Dolores' work, and he does the bare minimum, but he just doesn't want to do it.

And I can respect that, someone who's like a doctor and like has a serious life.

Totally.

I'm very happy with the situation on hand.

And also, like, if Louis does join the boys and like he's able to just jump right in and everybody likes him, like, that will be a ringing endorsement.

Oh, of course.

But when Melissa was like, this is literally her husband, I'm like, no.

Like, she doesn't want to be single for like a little bit longer.

She was just trapped in this like awful marriage.

I don't think she was like, even when she was married or getting divorced, like, she was never like excited to be single.

Like, she's just excited.

She was excited to be in love and be loved.

And get fucked.

Yeah.

but also just like to be with someone that is just like so happy to be with her.

So if she's found that, so it doesn't matter whether she's single or in a relationship, like she's feeling loved.

And so I don't think she needs to go and be single again.

That's actually a fair point.

Well, it was a good episode.

I really loved The Watch Rapids Live.

Tonight is

like former housewives.

Jill Zarin's on it.

I think

Gretchen.

Oh, wow.

Yeah, they're getting better.

And Sunday night.

Is Taylor Armstrong on it?

I hope so.

And I think Phaedra's on it.

I saw

very very quickly, like faces.

Yes, and I'm trying to remember.

And then Sunday is the Real House Kids, which I'm very excited for.

Yeah, they really should have found a way to do it all in studio, especially because, like, especially the New York women.

The husbands are in New Jersey.

The Jersey men could have done it.

The New York women could have done it.

The kids, it's like 30 kids, and half of them live around the country.

That I understand.

But the fact that they could have had tri-state area kids.

They could have had tri-state area kids.

Very much looking forward to that.

And tonight is Keeping Up with the Kardashians, which hopefully is not as boring as it's been, and Summerhouse Part 2 Reunion.

So I'm very excited.

Oh, I guess I won't be caught up in time.

Is there a part three?

No.

Oh, so then I guess I miss this season.

But I do plan on watching because I trust your endorsement.

No, it's so good.

Cool.

And that's our show.

Anything else you want to talk about before we bounce?

No, everyone enjoy your Thursday.

Next time we see you, it will be Friday.

And that's just an exciting thing to think about.

Don't forget to acknowledge the space that you are currently in.

It's the best possible space.

It's the spring weekend.

It's the snitch's birthday.

Friday's around the corner.

Live it up.

All right, you guys.

Thank you so much for listening to The Morning Toast, the Millennial Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

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Hope you guys have an amazing Thursday.

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Gotta get down on Friday.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.