S4 Ep77: Rose & Ground: Wednesday, April 28th, 2021

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Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the morning toast.

Happy Wednesday, also known as Hump Day.

Hey, Claude, I'm so excited to be joining you on this beautiful hump day.

How are you, Dern?

Hello, Jackie.

I'm dern good.

I'm dern especially good because it's hump day.

Hump day, hump day.

Oh, it's hump day.

Hump day, but make it fiddler on the roof.

Me and Theo are doing very well.

Thank you.

Hump day, but make it cabaret.

Oh, I was getting more of like a fiddler on the roof vibe, but okay.

Um, how is dude da da di da dude da di?

I haven't seen him in so long.

Dude da da da da da da da is doing very well.

He's actually going to the spa today.

Time for a haircut, a little teeth brushing, a little nail clipping.

So he's actually really, really busy today.

I don't even know if we're going to find time to hump one another, but knowing me, I'll make it work.

Oh, oh, you'll find the time.

Yes.

Well, I'm so glad to hear that.

I can't wait to see him whenever I do, probably on Monday, when I'll be back in the studio.

I am still on my retreat, still doing well.

Thank you, everyone, for your love and unconditional support during this time.

It has truly been unwavering.

It has been unwavering.

And I'm getting to the point where like I am really excited to come back and I'm ready to be well at home.

And I'm glad I had the extra few days because

I'll be ready to go when it's my time, you know?

Do you think you're going to have a difficult time transitioning all the things you've learned at camp back into the real world?

It's not going to be easy for sure.

But I'm going to be as prepared as I could possibly be.

But then you just have to take that chance.

You know, you can't live at the retreat forever.

Life is not a wellness retreat.

No, No, that's such a good point.

So you just have to take what you can and try and apply it to your everyday life.

And that's my takeaway.

And I look forward, I look forward to bringing that to the toast and bringing this new energy.

And hopefully I can, I can keep it up.

I really, really hope so.

But I feel good about it.

And still, it's like not my time to go yet, but it's almost my time.

Time to be almost up.

Yes, but it's not my time yet.

Like the San Francisco 49ers, but soon it will be my time.

So that's amazing.

It's going to be

something.

Just know that you have the love and support of your family, your friends, and the toaster community.

And we know that you can do it.

Like, we are really, truly rooting for you.

Thank you guys so much.

It really, it means everything.

Um, if I could just put in a request moving forward for the rest of the podcast, please don't refer to me by my true name, Claudia.

My new name is Jana Kramer.

So if you could just only call me that, I would really appreciate it.

Explain.

Well, Jana Kramer is most known for fighting with her husband on podcasts.

And yesterday, I think I became Jana Kramer's, you know,

like prodigy.

Okay, well, you know that Jana Kramer and her husband are officially getting divorced.

I did see that.

And I actually got like two messages being like, why aren't you guys talking about Jana Kramer?

And I'm like, because you know Claudia has like, has a, she has China, Jana Kramer, and her husband.

And I'm already planning on talking about Chloe and Tristan on this show.

So I was like, I'm not going to do that to Claudia where we're talking about Chloe, Tristan, and Jama.

No, but jana also

beyond all that like who actually cares

some people but not enough people yeah so i just think we should kind of address like you know yeah the elephant in the room i think we should address it too but one like don't say you're jana's protege otherwise like that no i don't want to put that that was totally a joke i don't want to put that out in the universe But two, there is a gap like in the podcasting space of wives yelling at their husbands.

Yeah.

So you, you took up that, you picked up that man.

Yeah.

Sorry, I just like saw what the market was demanding and I just gave it to them.

Okay, let's just talk about it because like I had such a pit yesterday.

Me and Ben recorded in studio yesterday and we got up and we were all like, oh my God, that was such a good episode.

Like people love Ben.

And so sometimes when we do episodes and I don't even think they're that good, people like plots for Ben.

So I'm like, oh, they're really going to love this one.

Cause like we were being so funny.

And oh my God, the comments on YouTube, people were just like fucking cumming for me hard that I like yell at my husband, we wouldn't stop bickering, that I was gaslighting him.

And I'm like, my God, it's just a podcast.

Like it's not that serious.

And like, to be honest, like, that's how a lot of married people talk.

So maybe if you don't get it, like, maybe you're not married yet.

Like, I don't know.

Like, it just gave me such a pit.

Cause like, I don't want to be that girl who like yelled.

Until Ben got home and I was like, really being so nice to him because like he was like, what are you doing?

I'm like, no, nothing.

I'm just like, I love you so much.

And I was like, was I being mean like because I know that I'm very like I'm a certain type of person like I'm very

what's the word um

outgoing uh

extroverted one of those things and so boisterous boisterous I am a boisterous queen yes so I didn't so like I know like all the time like not I'm not everyone's cup of tea but maybe I was just like on an especially annoying level yesterday but it gave me such a pit because I don't want to be Jana Kramer like I don't be one like just want to be known for fighting with my husband I don't think that's what you're going to be known for.

Um, I didn't get a chance to watch the episode yet.

You're right.

I'm going to be, I'm going to be known for worse things.

Um, you know what, Claude, you have to forgive yourself.

You know, like it's, it happens.

Like, and honestly, podcasting with your husband is so fucking hard.

Not only, not only like you try being married and not bickering, you try podcasting with your husband and not yelling at him.

Try it.

Seriously.

Thank you.

Okay, because also, like, I, and I meant to say this too if you if you want to start a fight with your husband podcast start a podcast yeah or just do or just feature him one episode on yours anytime I podcast with Zach I am just like so irritable stressed because also like you know when it comes to the show you and I divide up the on-air responsibilities but if I'm co-hosting with Ben I'm steering the ship I'm choosing the stories I'm doing the ads and I need to time everything so I'm just like naturally more stressed and Ben's just like having a good time you know he's just having fun talking about himself.

Like I would have loved to have been him, you know?

So it's so stressful.

And if you've never done a podcast and you don't have a husband, like please don't judge me because I'm telling you, it was just merely par for the course.

But, you know, my answers, like my DMs yesterday were so divided.

Like a lot of people were like, girl, like you need to stop yelling at your husband.

And then a lot of people were like, oh my God, I listened to the episode with my husband.

We were dying.

Like that's how we are.

So I just think maybe it's, you know, a, it's a background thing.

Like, you know, either you get it or you don't.

Yeah.

No, that's, I'm glad that, you know, you got this off your chest because I know that it was bothering you and

just, it's really, it's not a big deal.

No, and like Ben has been talking a lot about like whether we should start our own podcast because Ben, you know, he used to have the schwitz and he feels like there's something missing.

And I was on board literally until yesterday.

Yeah, no, like it's a recipe for a disaster.

And I actually think like if Jana and I want to say his name is Mike,

if they like didn't have a podcast, like maybe they

could have had more, they've been married for longer.

A hundred percent.

But but if he's still like doing his cheating thing, I don't know the details, so please don't come for me.

Like I read the statement that was like, it is time.

That's literally what she said.

And so, yeah.

Not comparable, but I hear what you're saying.

And you're not a Jana.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

Just know if Ben's not on the podcast for a while, it's just because I have too much shame.

You know who I think, husband husband and wife, who have really good podcast banter, energy, and bickering.

This is getting confidential.

100%.

No, they nail it.

They do.

They do.

They really do.

But you can all, and I was listening to an episode with them where they talk about like how much they like, how it's not easy working together and they actually don't work together that much aside from the podcast.

And I was like, oh, that makes sense.

Yeah.

No, it's a very interesting dynamic.

One that few come out of alive.

And I'm one of the dead.

I'm one of the dead.

Me and Jana.

Okay, well, as long as Ben's doing well and Theo's doing well and Theo is there.

We are fine.

Right.

Okay, so you're fine.

Yeah.

Great.

We'd love to hear it.

I swear.

Would you say you're, maybe you need a wellness retreat?

No, I need like a weekend bender.

It's already Wednesday and I've worked too many days in a row.

Yeah, you need a bachelorette party.

I do need a bachelorette party.

And you know what?

I have two coming up.

Oh, I'm excited for you.

Thanks.

Well, wellness looks different for everyone.

For some people, it's listening to the morning toast.

And so that's what we're here to do is to give you that daily dose of wellness.

And, you know, since this is my last episode for the week, because Claude has great guests lined up, I really feel like I'm going to bring that motivational energy to a Wednesday, motivational hump day.

You brought it on Monday.

And I have to say, Monday was the busiest day of my week.

Like personally, professionally, I just had so much to catch up on, so many like things I did not want to do, emails I didn't want to answer, like tedious activities to go do.

And I did every single one and then some.

So you really inspired me on Monday and I really could use some of that today.

So what you're saying is that you, you rised and then you grinded?

No, like I rose and groaned.

You rose and groaned.

That's, I was trying to find like the past tense.

I'm like, groaned?

Hashtag rose and groaned.

Rose and groaned.

Okay, we're going to rose and groaned again today with another fabulous episode of The Toast.

We have dear toasters, which I'm really excited to talk about we also have a small tv recap segment because super small because i know you are totally unplugged except for the podcast and you didn't watch the finale of dallas last night i want to talk about it a little and i know i don't know if you've been on the podcast since i've become obsessed with summer house I've been on the podcast, but you haven't talked about it.

So I do want to hear, I want to hear where you're at because I can be convinced.

No, Jackie, you would like literally die for it.

And on Thursday, Taylor Strucker's co-hosting with me.

And I'm going to do like a whole deep dive because she loves Summerhouse.

And I only started watching it because I was spending the weekend with her and she was watching it.

So I just like sat down.

And she's like been on it.

Yeah.

And there was, she actually was at a party last summer.

I don't think it made the footage, but she, there was like some guy being like a prick to her and her girlfriend.

And she threw a drink in someone's face.

Like she was truly starting like Gina Keoff drama.

Wow.

We love to see it.

Okay.

I can't wait to hear about it.

Yeah.

I haven't watched Dallas, but I finally finished my book,

Truly Madly Guilty by Leanne Moriarty.

I think it was good, but the fact that it took me so long to read, like, doesn't really bode well.

But I'm really, I'm on the fence.

Maybe you could give me some advice.

Okay.

Because you know, have you been seeing the trailer for this new show coming out called Nine Perfect Strangers?

Yes, of course.

And it's a book.

It's a book by Leanne Mortiarti, who also did Big Little Eyes.

Just did, she did Husband's Secret.

Like, she's, you know, Colleen Hoover for the older, yeah, for the older sect.

And the book is about a wellness retreat.

And apparently, is that like the Nicole Kidman?

Yes.

And apparently, it's like spooky wellness retreat vibes.

I didn't want to read it before I came here because I didn't want to get inside my head.

But now that I'm established at the retreat, I feel like maybe I should read the book.

I could be a figure at the retreat.

I figure maybe I could read the book.

It would be kind of funny.

But anytime I read the book of a show or movie that's coming out, like it ruins the show.

And the show

looks really good.

Honestly, I know a lot of people, like their philosophy is always to read the book before the show.

Meh, why do you need it?

I've tried that a few times, and it just always ruins the show.

Yeah.

So I want to watch the show.

Maybe I won't read the book.

Yeah, I feel like, no.

I feel like the show's getting a lot of buzz.

And don't you want to be excited about it with everyone else?

Yeah, that's true.

I don't want to be like, well, I read the book and this happened.

Yeah, no.

And as much as that's fun for you, those people are a little snotty.

Like, we get it.

You know how to read.

I just want to tell you, it's not fun for me.

It's not.

Why not?

Because I just want to enjoy the thing I'm watching, not be like, well, why didn't they do it it this way?

Like in the book, I quite prefer it that way.

I just want to take it at face value.

So I think I've ruined enough shows by reading the book first.

Like I couldn't even watch Firefly Lane because I read the book and then I was like, oh, I don't want to watch a show about this.

So I ruined that for myself.

I ruined Little Fires Everywhere for myself.

I ruined Normal People for myself.

Well, you know what?

The only

like a time I've ever ever experienced having read the book before the production was the curious incident of the dog in the middle middle of the night that then went to Broadway.

And I think you and I have spoken about it before, how

it was the worst.

It actually, it ruined Broadway for me.

I completely agree.

Like after I spent time at that show, I was like,

I don't want to spend time on Broadway ever again.

Never again.

And then a few years later, I did go see Book of Mormon, which sort of brought me back.

But the damage that showed

to Broadway for me.

Irreparable.

Irreparable.

So my only point of reference, I can't really give you good advice because that's the only time I've really ever read a book before seeing the

production.

Understood.

Okay, I'm going to think on it.

I have, I mean, I'll think about it, but I did really want to read the book, but I think I could use a break.

I think I'm going to go back to scratching that Romanov itch.

Ooh, feels so good.

I'm so itchy.

I actually am so itchy.

I'm so sunburned from our trip.

Like, I'm just like itchy fucking everywhere.

Oh, I'm sorry, but at least you have the sunburn and the sunburn reminds you of the memories that you made.

Yeah, and the sunburn's also like, you're not that fat, you know?

Oh, yeah.

Like, when you're tan,

everything's better.

There's no, like, honestly, cellulite just goes away.

Totally.

I actually haven't spent time in the sun since I've been here, but I think on my last day, I'm gonna, I'm gonna cook a little bit.

Ooh.

I'm excited to dive in.

I think maybe it is time.

I think maybe it is time.

You know, if you have anything you want to add, you can always jump in.

Always.

You know?

So, without further ado, it is time for the fast five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

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First story: Variety is reporting that Vanderpump Rules season 9 is starting production soon, more than 18 months after cameras last rolled on Vanderpump Rules.

And after several seismic firings in the offseason that have changed the main cast, the Bravo Docu Soap is scheduled to begin filming next month.

A spokesperson for the network confirmed to Variety.

Docu Soap?

Yep, hadn't heard that term before.

Never.

So people that are left for Vanderpump Rules are Tom and Katie, Tom and Ariana, Sheena, Lala, James Kennedy, and Raquel.

Woof, honestly.

Like,

like, well, so when I read this, this was the first time.

And then I did a little research because I was like, what about Dana?

She was such a fan favorite from last season.

Apparently, a few weeks ago, she announced that she wasn't coming back, gave no rhyme or reason.

There's no news in here about Charlie.

Charlie or Danica.

Danica, the manager.

She was, what was she?

The suspended manager.

No, like,

towards the end, Danica, like really started to like.

She's losing her mind.

I know.

And so what are they going to do?

Bring in more new people that, like, at least by the end, I started to care about Charlie and Danica.

Yeah.

Like, at the end of last season, and even when we knew all these people were not coming back to the show.

I thought that there really was potential for the show because there was this younger generation of people who had like nothing to lose, which make the best reality show cast members.

Like they, they didn't have big brand deals or big houses in Valley Village.

Like they just wanted to make their bones and they were acting crazy at Sur, which is exactly how Vanderpump Rules got started.

So I actually thought there might be like hope left for the show, but it sounds like without Dana, without Charlie, without Danica, like that new generation of like Raquel and her friends is not a thing.

Yeah, maybe they'll try for a new thing because like last season was just so bad.

So maybe they're wiping the slate clean.

But again, like I don't want to get invested in new people and like I would have watched a show about the old people, but now there's not enough old people to make it a show.

Yeah, honestly, like of course, I'm a Vanderpumps fan.

I have a feeling like I won't make it through the entire season.

It sounds so boring.

And I just think a lot of it is going to be like tom-tom business stuff, which is so boring.

And I think a lot of it is going to be like COVID stuff because the reason they haven't filmed was because like restaurants weren't open.

And so Sheena and Lala both just had babies.

So it's like everyone is just in a different place in their life.

And I don't know how this group of people is really feasibly ever going to naturally hang out because they're all just like in different places.

Yeah, Yeah, I agree.

And yeah, shout out to Sheena.

She just had her Bet Best.

Summer.

Oh, is that the name?

Well, it's like Summer House Daisy Rose, you know, it's like four names.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but that's a really pretty name.

She's a baby girl.

It's very Sheena.

And I was really, you know, hoping for Madison Parks, but

I guess that didn't work out.

I actually,

I love the name Summer.

I think it's, it's Sheena.

Plus.

Yes, I like the name Summer too.

It reminds me of Summer Roberts, of course.

Of course, you can't go wrong.

You truly cannot go wrong.

Wow, I'm really happy for her.

That was, that was a nice surprise.

This will be a really like interesting slash pivotal season, but like we don't, okay, no Dana, no Max and Brett, even though I didn't even like them.

No Stasi, no Kristen, no Britney and Jax.

And I know that Brittany and Jax were like these polarizing figures, but they really were like the lightning rods.

And like.

Like first of all, they started like half the drama.

There was always something going on with Jax.

And

they

what was I gonna say?

And yeah, they kind of like brought the group together in a lot of ways.

So, like, I just think it's going to be a really weird, fucked-up dynamic.

I totally agree.

Yeah.

Plus, it'll be forever until it's out because they're just starting to film now.

So, let's give it at least six months.

And that's said on that.

For our next story, I'm sorry to do this to you, Claudia, but it must be discussed because Tristan Thompson has been accused of cheating on Chloe again.

No.

And I know, I know.

You're going to have to unchina for a second because

it's out there.

Instagram model Sidney Chase claimed in a new interview that she hooked up with the Boston Celtics player in January of this year.

She said it was a peekaboo dick, but baby, it was good.

She said about his uncut penis.

Oh my God, you learned something new about your favorite celebrities every day.

Tristan Thompson is uncircumcised.

Yep.

I've never seen an uncircumcised penis.

He told me he was not in a relationship anymore, so I said, okay.

We talked.

We hung out multiple times.

We went out together, everything she asked him are you single and he allegedly responded yes then she said it happened and then i found out he was not single and i cut him off okay as much as i don't want to go into this i do feel very conflicted because this season is the first season we're really getting like an up close more personal vibe about tristan and i've really started to like fall in love with him like you can't even imagine that he's the guy who cheated on chloe not once but twice and once when she was pregnant like he's really a p-jum he's so like honest and cute and he loves.

And so there's his public persona and then there's his keeping up with the Kardashians persona and these two men do not know each other.

They could not be more different.

These are not the same men.

So it's confusing.

Who is the real Tristan Dompson?

I don't know.

And I'm confused.

And I, and I, obviously, like, I guess a cheater never changes his spots.

There's something about this story that like, I just do need like a little bit of verification, though.

Yeah.

Do you know what I mean?

Um,

so I'm going to wait to see like how Chloe handles this, but assuming that this is true, like I'm beyond done.

It's just like not that hard, you know, to not consistently cheat on your partner.

It's really not.

Unless him and Chloe really weren't together, and when he said that he was single, he wasn't lying.

Right.

Did she say when this was?

January?

January.

That was how many months ago?

No, but it seems like what we're watching in The Kardashians now, which was definitely filmed before January, right?

Seems like it was filmed, yeah, yeah, I guess before January.

Like they're pretty much much together.

But they're not together.

Like they're not, they're co-parenting, but it's not like they're hooking up and sleeping together and like being in a relationship.

They're just like being a family.

Well, no, I was getting the vibe that like they are together, but they're just like not really talking about it.

Oh, I was getting the vibe that like he's like almost ready to have that romantic piece of the relationship with him because everything else is like building up towards that.

Maybe.

But I never, I never saw the green light.

Like we've never seen them kiss.

Yeah.

So it's confusing, like, what constitutes being in a relationship.

And it's clearly confusing for Tristan.

Yes, but it's also confusing for us.

Like, who, who is the real Tristan Thompson?

How do we move forward from this?

Like, how, I just, like, I'm so exhausted.

Like, I feel like I've been dragged 50 miles.

Like, I don't even care anymore.

I just, like, love Chloe and I want her to be happy.

But, like, girl, like,

maybe it's time, you know?

Hashtag, like, time to go.

Yeah.

Well, you know what?

She'll figure it out.

And I'm just curious about the status of their relationship.

Me too.

But maybe this is something for Kardashian season one on Hulu.

Perhaps, but hopefully not.

Hopefully not.

I'm so done with these like fake ass storylines.

And I'm actually really shocked that the final season of their show like isn't better.

And it doesn't give me great hope for the Hulu show.

Yeah, no, it's actually pretty bad.

Yeah.

It's always a pleasure to watch our girls

looking gorgeous in Malibu.

It's like never a bad time, but it is not giving me lots of hope.

Yeah, but the thing with the shows is like the highs are so high and then the lows are pretty low.

Like

not every episode can be like the biggest thing.

So at least it's something.

I don't know.

But it just seems like they're all pulling back slightly on what they share.

Like, you know, Kim is for, you know, to protect Kanye's privacy, not going to talk about the divorce.

And then Chloe's like, I wanna protect my relationship.

So it's like, all right, we're all protecting things.

Like, when are we gonna talk about the good stuff?

Yeah, or it's just like, you could talk about other stuff.

Like, I could hear about your business stuff.

I like hearing about Kim's lawyer stuff.

Yeah.

You know, even the poosh drama amongst the employees, like that was pretty good.

So you, sure, like, conceal what you want, protect what you need to, but there's other stuff there.

Yeah.

It doesn't mean that we have to go looking for UFOs.

Yeah.

Okay, ready for our next story?

Jay-Z is investing in a fitness company that provides at-home workouts for those who don't love exercise bikes.

So Jay-Z is adding fitness mogul to his job title.

He has invested in an LA-based fitness company called the LIT method through his venture capitalist firm Marcy Venture Partners.

So I think I've heard of the LIT method.

Obviously, sounds good.

Sounds there.

Yes, that's where I've heard it.

We go to the LIV method, but I have known that there's a place called the LIT method in California.

And now they have a machine, like an at-home machine, that is an all-in-one water rower, Pilates reformer, and resistance band training system that offers more than 500 low-impact exercises, including rowing, bar, strength training, physical therapy, and Pilates, according to the company.

You know what?

Like, that sounds pretty awesome.

Maybe you should get one.

Maybe I should get one because I love my ton, obviously.

But to add a little,

to add a little bar and Pilates to the mix, like I actually think that's what my physique could use now don't get me wrong because i i could be wrong because i don't know anything about working out but isn't bar exercises like you just hold a bar

yeah but i'm sure they have like a screen and so they have like there's probably like a bar on this machine that you hold on to and then the screen tells you what to do which is a really easy it's an easy thing to do because it seems like you could just have like a bar put in your wall like for literally a dollar.

Who actually does have a bar in their wall?

Somebody who really

cares about bar.

This machine.

No, but nobody cares enough about about bar, but this machine that's one of the many things that they offer.

Yeah.

I don't know.

Reading this story, I am actually feeling very influenced.

I mean, I don't know if I'll actually get one, but I feel like this could be the next big thing.

I mean, I just wish I invented it because if Jay-Z invests in your company, like you're obviously going places.

And I just want to be, I want to be a person who goes places, you know?

But do you really?

Not to make it about me.

Not in like the literal sense.

No, no, no.

Like, you know, in terms terms of my accomplishments.

You know, when they say, oh, that girl, she's going places.

Yeah.

I just, I just want someone to say that about me.

I'll say, you're going places, Claude.

Thank you.

So are you.

And you've also been places.

You know what I mean?

So I don't know if I can say you're going.

I've also seen things.

Yeah.

I feel like you're past going.

You're, you've gone.

I'm going, going, gone.

So proud of you.

Okay, so that's like the latest in the fitness space.

You know, for me, I feel like it's so important to constantly, constantly be kept abreast on the fitness space.

So thank you for keeping us abreast.

Well, you know what?

Speaking of the fitness space, I think this is a perfect segue into our next sponsor, one that I've been like holding on to ever since we received product from them because it's my new favorite thing.

And if you follow me on Instagram, I've been wearing them every single time I work out.

Claude, tell them.

Today's sponsor is Jackie's literal favorite thing that ever existed, Booty by Bra-Bance, which is founded by a fitness instructor, Kelly Brabance, and they are changing the athleisure game with their high-quality, durable leggings and inclusive approach.

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They are a brand that prides itself on being inclusive.

They eliminate numbers from the shopping experience because numbers should never define us.

If you want to experience Booty by Bra-Bance's signature Crocco skin material, that's what Jackie's been wearing all week, correct?

Yes, and it's so good.

The first time that I wore that set, I went to the live live method.

And Matt, my trainer, literally said it was my best session ever.

And he thought it was because of what I was wearing that I could just move so easily.

But also looking at myself in the mirror, like I was inspiring myself.

No, it literally, like, it snatches you up.

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And you can also shop Black Croco skin bike shorts, which are a spring-summer staple.

So their products are super sickening.

They come in all different sizes, all different

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It's great for your workout.

And if you want to shop now and get 15% off, use the code toast

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That's B-O-O-T-Y-B-Y-B-R-A-B-A-N-T-S dot com.

Code toast bootybybrabance.com.

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Honestly, according to Jackie O, it is the first and last workout set you'll ever need.

No, it's really, really true.

I love the Croco set because it's super flattering.

It's what I was wearing in the first picture i posted for my retreat and like there are so many people out there who already love booty by bra bands and they were like booty by bra bands um so they have like a cult following much like the toast no they really do and also then yesterday i was wearing the shorts that are just like the not croco and they were like the first biker shorts that i've worn that don't ride up all the time yeah and it was really amazing so check it out they also have like matching scrunchies water bottles just the cutest stuff.

So if you're looking to up your workout game, it's a perfect place to start.

Fabulous.

Are you ready for our next story?

It's a little podcasting news.

Ooh, a little pod news.

Little pod news, biz news that I think like you and I, I should have like, this is something I would send to you over text and we would talk about it.

It's pretty interesting.

But Spotify is taking on Apple with a new podcast subscription platform.

And really, they're both taking on Patreon.

I'm finding this to be very interesting.

Oh, wait.

We did.

talk about this on an episode that you were not on.

I don't remember.

Were you talking about Apple that they're launching paid podcasts?

Okay, well, now so is Spotify.

They said on Tuesday that it's launching a new subscriber-only platform for podcasts and said it will be more lucrative for creators than the platform Apple unveiled last week.

Specifically, Spotify said it will give creators the option to make their podcasts subscriber-only when they publish them, and that they will be able to keep 100% of the subscription fees until 2023.

After that, the company will take a 5% cut.

Like, that's kind of rude.

No, but that's like them trying to compete with Apple

by.

Oh, that's actually really interesting.

So they're, everyone's coming for Patreon's neck.

Everyone's coming for Patreon.

The cost to subscribe is determined by the creator, but it will be one of three tiers: $2.99, $4.99, or $7.99 per month, Spotify said.

The company said creators can pay well their entire feed, but that it believes the lure of free episodes will ultimately attract new listeners.

Okay, like not to make this about us.

Yeah, no, I'm literally making it about us.

I'm feeling like we're a source of inspiration.

$7.99.

That's such a random figure.

Free and paid episodes makes you think.

Well, I mean,

I feel like this should have been a thing a long time ago because when you and I

built our own show, I was always surprised that you couldn't, like iTunes, put up a podcast and have people pay a dollar for it.

Because there was stuff like when we interviewed Enti, we wanted to like protect ourselves.

We wanted to put it behind a paywall, not make it so accessible.

And there was no way to do that.

And that's how we just discovered Patreon like by accident.

So this should have been a thing a really long time ago.

I do feel like these big platforms like pushing for paid podcasts might like lead the industry into

a place where podcasts aren't so easily accessible.

Cause I think like the beauty of podcasts is that it's always been free, free, free.

And it's almost like they made that decision because they didn't let us put up a podcast for a dollar, you know?

Yeah, but I also feel like I could see it going the way of like right now the podcasting industry, it's just like,

it's everything,

everyone.

It's a free-for-all.

Everyone has a show.

And I feel like for the consumers and the listeners, people are

really like cultivating their own little, like they know what they like and they have the shows that they like.

So maybe the last few years were like these exploratory discovery years.

And now going forward, it's like

that phase is over.

And now I'm honed in on what I like.

I'm going to pay for what I like.

Yeah.

And by the way, like as a creator myself, of course, like you want to be paid for for your art, for your content.

But just over the last few years, podcasts have just been this kind of free-for-all and you've never had to pay for it.

So I'm actually really interested to see like where this goes

and if people are

happy to start paying for content.

Yeah, I'm also curious to see like I don't have any plans right now like for us and we haven't talked about it But like this could change how we do things if we spend enough time thinking about it, you know Yeah, no, if these platforms are like sickening the platform down Then it's obviously something we have to think about like do we need to move our subscription service over to apple or or to spotify i was just thinking that but patreon offers video too which we love so but if we did like we every month we'll do at least like two or three podcast episodes so if like that was available for spotify subscribers i don't know

something to think about no it's very cool it's actually very exciting i'm so glad people are like taking our industry seriously no like i love a little podcasting news i really really do i love when the industry is just like ever changing growing expanding innovating, putting it in a blender and mixing it up.

Yeah, no, usually the podcast news we get is like these random podcast awards that we obviously do not get nominated for.

No, yeah, or the podcast news that we get is like someone who's never podcasted in their life, like getting a celebrity deal.

But even still, I like those stories too because rising tides raise all ships.

100%.

100%.

Huna, honey, huna, honey, now we're gonna have a good time.

A thousand hands up to the sky.

We're gonna get toasted tonight.

Can't let it fade.

We gotta sparkle.

I'm like so ready to release another song.

We're ready for it too.

You know my thoughts on it.

We have different creative opinions about what your next song should be.

We do.

Because, yeah, I want you to, I'm not like, if just in case you ever do this, I'm spoiling it, but I want to see you release a ballad, like a heartbreaking ballad called Remiss, Devastated, and Heartbroken.

Okay, maybe when I have more time, I honestly should have done that in COVID because right now I'm like planning a second song for tour.

Like having my own song on tour was so cool and just like great for a million different business reasons.

And I'm planning on starting back out on tour in November of this year.

And I need a new song and I need to release it like by the summer so people can like bop to it and then know it.

And then like there's no better feeling than like releasing a random song and like, you know, blocking out on stage in Canada and 1,200 people like know your fucking song.

Like that's crazy.

So, that

I'm in business music mode.

When it comes time for my passion projects, I will be releasing a ballad called Rumus Devastated and Heartbroken.

Like, if you ever are like, oh my God, it's Shackie's birthday.

Like, what should I get her?

That's what I want.

Okay.

I will get started on the writing process.

You know me, I'm very creative.

These things take time.

I understand.

Put your heart in it.

And your song.

You don't want to break your heart.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

It's the final story.

That hits so hard.

And you know what?

Our fifth and final story, it's a little,

I don't know what the word is for news that's like not biz.

It's just like

world news.

It's, but it's like, it's just like weird news or random news, you know?

But anyways, the world's oldest bottle of whiskey is up for auction, expected to fetch about $40,000.

So this bottle of whiskey has been all around the world.

It's the craziest story.

A bottle of what's believed to be the oldest known whiskey in existence will hit the auction block this summer where it's expected to sell for an intoxicating price.

The old Ingledew whiskey, which dates back to the revolutionary times, is anticipated to fetch somewhere between $20,000 and $40,000, according to Skinner,

which is facilitating the June auction.

The rare bourbon was likely produced between 1762 and 1802.

And

here's your pop culture tie-in.

Wall Street financier J.P.

Morgan,

ancestor,

Sonia Morgan, not ancestor, in-law,

is believed to have purchased the bottle during one of his frequent trips to Georgia.

Then he gifted that bottle to someone else who re-gifted it to someone else.

And then it's been in the family for generations.

And now it's the oldest known bottle of whiskey.

Thank you, Sonia Morgan.

That is very cool.

I'm actually surprised.

Like $20,000 to $40,000 is like not a lot, but I guess there's only so much people would pay for something that is technically perishable.

Like, and honestly, this is where like I don't really understand like, you know, history.

Cause like you're telling me like an old, smelly, beat-up bottle is worth $40,000, but like a new one from the grocery store is worth like $30,000.

I just don't get it.

No, no, no.

I know what you mean.

And also this story is sort of reminding me of, have you heard of this story about this wine?

Wine fraud.

I think it was the subject for a documentary.

I saw an American Greed episode about it, but I think the documentary is called like Sour Grapes or something.

And it was this like wine connoisseur who was ripping off, like re-bottling wines, fancy wines, just like he was recreating them because he had a really, like, he actually was a pretty good wine.

Sommalier.

Sommalier.

And he was selling like tens of thousands of dollars of bottles of wine and they were fraudulent.

So I'm like,

and now I'm, I'm, you know.

Yeah, no, suspicious.

So we're just like believing all the people who said like, yeah, my grandfather got this and gave it to to JP Morgan like we're just believing there are all these liars in the world.

I don't know whoever buys this is getting scammed hard

No, I don't think so, but also the the bottle has a lot of history.

So yes, but here's another question.

You're buying a piece of like history.

Does it expire?

Yeah, like could you actually drink it?

I don't know.

I think whiskey gets better with age.

A nice of course.

Of course.

No, whiskey does get better with age, but like until what point, you know?

At some point, everything expires.

The limit does not exist.

I don't know if I agree with that.

I don't know either, but I do think that it's interesting.

Of course, everything is interissant at the morning toast.

Of course.

And if it's not, I make it interissant.

And the Sonia Morgan tie-in is truly something to behold.

Yeah.

Also, do you see that Sonia Morgan's also like retreating away?

Yes, you know, I actually thought that you might end up being at the same retreat as her, but I don't know which one she's at, but she is known for her retreats.

She goes to Palm Springs and comes back back like literally 75 pounds later.

It's like the craziest thing.

She goes for two days.

I know.

And so I was looking at her story.

I think she was at one retreat and now she's at a different one.

I think she's just like retreating.

Retreat hopping?

Yeah.

That's going to be you when you're 50.

That's me next.

Like, yeah, this is me at 28, like two weeks at a retreat.

Imagine me.

She got stuck at a retreat during COVID.

I know.

She locked down at a retreat.

That was probably the happiest Sonia Morgan's ever been.

I mean, I would,

I wish I got stuck at a retreat during COVID.

I would be so so well.

You would be so well.

You know how you're doing?

Well, bitch.

I am doing well.

Dern well.

Yes.

Dern well.

Okay, well, I want to hear your TV recap, everything you've been watching.

Let's get it.

And then we'll dive into deer toasters.

But the little TV recap, I won't spoil Real House Rise of Dallas for you, but you know what?

It actually was very good.

And we also got the trailer for the reunion.

And even though the season was like mad, there's actually a lot going on in the personal lives of the women.

Obviously, Brandy.

And that whole episode was like awkward to watch because Brandy planned this trip.

She invited all the husbands out for like the finale party where they all just had dinner and we got updates on everyone.

And she like made this beautiful speech about how, you know, this year has been really hard for her.

But like Brian was, you know, her rock.

And it was just like.

Stop.

Yeah.

And then she kissed him.

And like literally the episode ended.

Like they freeze framed on the kiss and made it black and white.

And then obviously everyone knows like a month ago, her husband was spotted out kissing a woman at a club in Dallas.

So Andy, of course, brings that up.

But there's also a lot going on between Eduardo and Carrie.

And it was weird because they didn't address it the whole season.

And then in the finale, they addressed it twice and like made us think something was up.

And Andy says in the reunion trailer, like, you're getting a divorce.

And she says, we just told the kids.

Well, that could be two different things put together.

That could be him asking Brandy something and then she told the kids something else.

I had the same thought.

No, but this was about Carrie.

No, but like in the trailer, Andy says, are you getting a divorce?

And then Carrie says, we just told the kids.

But Andy could be asking that question to someone else and she could be talking about something else.

Yes, but they were sitting on opposite couches and he's looking at Carrie's big, big ass screen.

Okay, okay.

Oh my God.

Guys, the screens?

No, not even the screens.

The fact that Carrie and Brandy literally had COVID so they couldn't get hair and makeup.

But they had, by the way, the guys, they literally landed in New York.

got you know routine tested like everyone else and they had flown together and i think carrie's makeup artist somebody gave them covid and so they have to do the reunion from their hotel room room with like no makeup, no lighting.

It is such an atrocity.

And they have these enormous monitors sitting on these like chairs.

It's so bizarre.

It's honestly like, if, if like five years ago you had showed me that reunion, I would have been like, what the fuck is going on?

But like only in COVID.

But honestly, the reunion was.

was

I mean the finale was pretty good.

There's just like a lot going on with Carrie and I think it's just been built up to the entire season.

But I left off like really and honestly Brandy really kind of makes it feel like in this episode like it's her last episode.

Like she gives Stephanie this present like for just being such a good friend to her all these years.

Like it felt very final for Brandy.

Okay.

Which is sad.

Maybe that's for the best.

Yeah, that is really sad.

The reality is that I'm not going to be able to do that.

I loved seeing the husbands.

Tiffany and her husband are so funny.

They were dressed up like cowboys and cowgirls.

And Tiffany was like, I literally feel like we're trying to be white.

Like she was wearing a blonde wig and he was wearing like a cowboy outfit.

It was so funny.

Court came.

Everyone except Eduardo came.

And Travis Holman was honestly just looking like so hot.

Like I just love him.

No, I'm so excited to watch.

I saw the pictures that the women posted.

And I remember when they were filming and they took those Dallas pictures.

Yes.

And I was like, oh, that looks amazing.

So I'm really excited to watch it.

And Brandy actually planned like a great trip.

Like it was very well done.

And the other thing I've been watching is Summer House.

I've pretty much watched like almost this entire season.

I went back and watched like from episode like four.

I just didn't want to start from the beginning.

And the finale was on last week.

And the reunion, I didn't know that they did reunions.

The reunion is on this Thursday.

and jackie it's such a good show like i watched it season one when the idea of doing a reality show in the hamptons was like a good idea and it was just so atrocious like i thought the casting was horrible they never went anywhere cool and like none of them were cool like they didn't have any cool people

But as years have gone on, first of all, they've changed the cast a lot.

And I think they're at a much better place.

And the people who were on season one have become cool because they're now reality stars.

So it's just like really been elevated.

And I just really tune into the show for paige and amanda paige is um the brute like the small brute one i know who paige is she has really great style and i i in the few times that i've like watched it while like waiting for my program on bravo it seems like it was better than what we started out with yes but but like not enough to like for me to take on a new bravo show but if you're saying it is time then it's time you know what it's good this is the first full season that i've watched and it was a covid season and they honestly i had forgotten because like for the most part they all just sit in the house and and drink.

And they actually like made the most, they had like themed parties every night.

Like they really made the most of the situation.

And I really just tune in because like Amanda is literally the most gorgeous girl ever.

Like I just like live.

And I just think like if I was in this house, you have to like walk around in a bikini, you like lay in your house, they film you in your thong.

And it's like, these girls are just like so confident and so gorgeous.

And like I could literally never.

It's just really good.

Like honestly, I think you would like it.

I mean, the season's over.

So like there's no sense in you starting now.

But maybe the next season, I don't think it's the type of show you need to, like, you know, do the research on.

Okay, yeah, because it's hard for me to just like jump in, but maybe I would start the season.

Did the reunion air yet?

Thursday.

Oh,

tomorrow.

Oh, my God.

Wow, the week's almost over.

Yeah.

Okay, maybe, I mean, I have, I finished my book.

I don't really want to start a new one.

Maybe I will take to my iPad and start.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just buy the season on iTunes.

Like, I'm telling you, it's worth watching.

And there's honestly so much drama.

And like, it's hilarious because, you know, the best types of shows always have like characters who are like slightly delusional.

And there's no shortage of that on Summerhouse.

And they make it so funny.

And I'm telling you, it's just really good.

Okay.

I mean, you know, I trust.

Oh, yeah.

And now I'm personally invested because Paige responded to my story.

And like, we're best friends.

Oh, yay.

Um,

so that's my small TV recap.

We'll get back on track with our recaps next week when we're both back home.

Tonight is Jersey.

Are you going to watch?

Well, now I'm watching Summerhouse.

Okay, okay.

I'll do like a mini recap tomorrow because I'm just like, you know, I'm all caught up anyway.

Yeah, yeah.

And I'm not caught up because I missed last week.

I was also

well.

You don't need to explain yourself.

Well,

this is of utmost importance.

It is.

But once I'll be back, you'll have my full attention.

I'll be feeling well.

It will be for the best.

Agreed.

Okay, now we can dive into tear toasters, which is brought to you by Pandora.

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Love it.

Claude, if you want to get me something special, I'm accepting gifts any time of year.

Well, if Theo doesn't get me a Mother's Day gift from Pandora, we won't be speaking.

That will be a doo-dadoo disaster.

A do disaster.

Deer toasters today is really good.

We have two submissions and also an update.

Woohoo.

First, and by the way, I feel like I haven't done deer toasters with you in a month.

No, I know.

When you said there was deer toasters today, I was like, wow.

Spooky stuff.

I'm really excited, but I need to wipe my brain clean.

You know what I mean?

Do you want to take like a quick, let me sip this coffee?

Like a quick, oh my God, you're drinking coffee.

What are you doing?

Have you been following my series?

I have been, but then I saw you drank.

You like a caramel macchiato, but like, don't you dare drink that every day.

No, I know.

Okay, so this morning I did a suggestion.

I'm doing a series on my TikTok.

I've never really drank coffee, and I just want to start.

I feel like I've spoken about that a few times.

So I'm starting a series on my TikTok where I try a new suggestion every day.

Today, a lot of people had recommended an iced white mocha and it was actually like the inside of Theo's butt.

It was so disgusting.

I couldn't believe you could drink that.

It was so sick.

That sounds good and fattening.

So, right.

I thought it would be nice and fattening.

But so when I did my mobile order pickup, just in case I didn't like it, I got the caramel macchiato because it actually was really good.

I will not add it to my routine because honestly, it's so fattening, but until I find something better,

and if you want to drop a comment on my reels or my TikTok with your coffee suggestion, I would really appreciate it.

Here's the thing, like, if you want it to be healthy, you, Claudia Ashre, are not going to like it.

I know.

And the thing about drinking coffee though, like, at least in the beginning, like...

You're not enjoying it.

It's not like meant to be enjoyed.

Eventually, like, you like the flavor, but you just gotta fucking.

No, the thing is, is that I know that with all of their magic potions and comb foams and syrups, there is a Starbucks drink out there that isn't terribly fattening that tastes moderately good.

I know that there is.

I don't know about that.

Okay, can I give you a suggestion?

Comment in on my TikTok because I know.

I don't have TikTok, please.

Yes, you do.

You need to comment in on my TikTok so I can use it for the video.

I need to download the app to tell you what to get from Starbucks.

Yeah.

Okay, but I'm just going to let everyone know, just in case everyone's like, what is Jackie going to suggest?

I would see how it goes with an iced non-fat cappuccino.

Okay, I would love to try that.

Drop a comment.

I'll do it tomorrow.

I've never even, I usually get, like, if I'm getting cappuccino, I get a hot one, but I don't think you want hot coffee.

No.

The ice is.

But ever since I started this series and like people are like, honestly, like living for it, every single person I know is like texting me their recommendations.

Like I literally just, I'm on my computer, pulled up Margo Lewin text me Cold Brew, half and half, two to three Splendas.

Like you wouldn't have to hit.

Everyone fucking hate that.

Hate.

Everyone thinks that like their coffee order is like the best.

And it's honestly like overwhelming taking in all these orders.

I just want to let you know, I don't think my coffee order is the best.

I think I drink like pretty bad coffee.

I just, I just need coffee and I need a locale.

You know what I mean?

I'm about to become one of those gals who's like, don't talk to me before I've had my coffee.

Stop.

All I need is coffee and mascara.

Do you know that Olivia, when I moved into like my apartment, not my last apartment, the one before it, she got me a housewarming gift of a mug, a big mug that said, all I need is a coffee and mascara.

And I was so hurt.

You know, that's fucking offensive.

That she would think, and, and, and that she would see that cup and associate it with you is so disgustingly, sickeningly offensive.

And so I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt.

I was like, oh, this was something that was like, she got an VR package.

And no, no, no, that like she got for free or found somewhere.

And so she's like re-gifting it to me or it's like a giddy.

But no, she said she went out and bought it.

Oh, it's actually sweet still i don't know i don't know how to feel about it but honestly i really do need coffee and mascara and mascara and don't talk to me before i've had either of them

okay dear toasters first up hi claudia and jackie first i just want to say i'm obsessed with the show i started watching in quarantine and haven't looked back since i am writing because i'm traveling to new york city soon to celebrate celebrate my best friend's 21st birthday She goes to NYU.

We've literally been best friends since fifth grade and almost have never had an argument.

However, ever since we started planning this trip, she's been so weird.

Let me first stress how hard she begged me and my other friend to visit.

Since the weekend is right around our final exams, we weren't sure if we could go.

After she begged us to come and assured us how fun it would be, we gave in and bought our flights and told her how excited we were.

But now that the trip is approaching, she's been acting super odd and honestly rude.

She has been making all these plans with her friends at school and then texting us, hey, my friends and I are going to go to a baseball game when you guys visit.

Do you want to come?

And wait, when I hang out with my friends, are you guys supposed to come with me?

I don't know if she's just completely clueless or has never had someone visit her before, but why wouldn't we come with?

We're literally visiting her and spending money to come see her.

I just feel like she's completely disregarding us after we are making our trip out to visit her.

It seems like we are second thought.

And if she didn't want us to hang out with her and her friends all weekend, why did she invite us?

What should I do?

Should I confront her and how she's been acting lately so it doesn't continue on the trip?

Do I suck it up because it's her birthday?

Please help.

Love you, ladies.

Okay, here's my theory in hearing this um so it sounds to me like when she first like was begging you guys to come she didn't have friends at school yet and she didn't want she's 21 jackie that's a senior

She didn't have friends.

Sorry.

And she didn't want to spend her 21st birthday friendless.

And in the time since the trip has been booked, like she's made new friends and she just doesn't know how to merge friend groups because honestly, it's a hard thing to do.

And I think she's just like having a little bit of anxiety about it.

So I think it's on you guys to come in and just like smooth that, like make it as smooth as possible because I think she's like stressed and especially if this is a new friend group for her she doesn't want to be like you know guests of guests don't invite guests I don't know if I necessarily agree that it's new friends but I do agree that like this girl's obviously having anxiety about like her home friends and her school friends merging which I do understand and maybe her like texting you guys all this weird stuff is not her attempt to be like offensive but it's her attempt to just like be in control of the situation almost.

And I actually think it'll be fine as long as like you like for me I'm the type of gal, like you invite me out with anyone and like I could talk to a wall.

Like I think you just have to be like that type of gal.

Like make it comfortable for everyone.

And here's the thing.

Like you're coming to New York City and if your friend is being like kind of shitty, like there's a million other things that you can do.

And you're coming with your friend.

So you already have a built-in best friend.

Right.

Like it's not like you're coming so low and you need to rely on this girl.

Like if she's not stepping up to the friend plate, go and do your own thing, create your own weekend, like get some coffee, get some mascara and get out there.

Honestly, worst case scenario, it's like you end up with your best friend in New York, like having a fabulous weekend.

Yeah.

And you know what?

Thanks to old friend for making you guys come.

We never would have.

Yeah, no, like you would never would have gotten yourself out to New York if it weren't for this freak.

Yeah.

Okay.

Hope that helped.

Next up.

Hello, lovely ladies.

I've reached a dilemma and I believe your beautiful stunning and smart minds could help me figure it out.

A few months ago, my boyfriend of three years and I went over to his parents' house.

While we were there, his dad had gone through his closet earlier and was asking my boyfriend if he wanted any of his old shirts.

He proceeded to pull out a black t-shirt that says, I support single moms and has an outline of a woman on a stripper pole.

I myself was raised by a single mom, so I find this rather offensive.

But even if I wasn't, it's extremely offensive to single moms everywhere who work their asses off.

To my surprise, my boyfriend agreed that he wanted the shirt and brought it back home.

I felt bad throwing it away, so I hid it behind the couch.

Well, I guess it was found because I was doing laundry and ended up with it again.

I'm debating on if I should just throw it in the dumpster or I should try to talk to him about it first.

What should I do?

Signed a supporter of single moms and toasters everywhere.

I just have to say, I love this girl because you know what?

That shirt is offensive.

We were raised by a single mom.

That's a fucking funny joke.

Yeah.

It's also offensive to strippers.

Yeah.

You know what?

If it bothers you, just like lose it, you know?

Unless

unless you want to have a conversation with him, like about how it's offensive, but that just depends on the tone of your relationship.

Like if that, you know what I mean?

You would know better than we do.

But if it's,

if it bothers you that much, have a conversation about it because those things don't go away.

But in the meantime, just lose the shirt.

Lose the shirt.

Don't hide it behind the couch.

Hide it in the garbage can

outside the neighbors that's on garbage day.

No, but you know what?

Like, I actually think this, of course, throw it away, but it actually is also worth a conversation because if this is your boyfriend of three years, like when, like, it's, it's obviously something that's important to you.

And it's like a part of your value system so like it might be that those values don't align you know yeah so that if that's the case if but you know him better than we do so like if if he just thought it was a funny shirt and didn't see the issue in it like if or if you think it's a deeper issue you're the judge of that and i think that you could have a conversation with him if it if it also you could try just throwing it away and then see if it still bothers you that he even was into the shirt and if he was if it is

Yeah, throw it out.

And if he's still looking for it, like he's obsessed with this fucking shirt, then you have a problem on your hands and a conversation needs to be had.

Yeah, but also, it's like, how many shirts did the dad offer?

How many did he take?

Maybe he just needed a shirt.

So is it like he's looking for this shirt?

Or?

I just think like boys who like have stupid, like offensive to women t-shirts are not husband material.

And that's what I'm worried about.

Okay.

I think that's.

Ben ever showed up in a dumb fucking like Jersey shore store.

Like, you know, they have all those dumb t-shirts, like MILF Club, like all those dumb shit.

Like,

to me, like men who choose to wear shirts like that are not marriage material and they'll tell you that themselves interesting and I don't know is that the type of man you want to be with like I think that's a really bad personality trait specifically

yeah that's a good point I think it's something that she should look out for now like this is like a red flag that was raised and right and deal with it accordingly Do with it do with that what you will.

All right, our third one is an update from the girl who knew her boyfriend was the one, but they hadn't farted in front of each other yet.

Hi guys, I wanted to give you a little update on my situation.

I was the one who wrote in asking about farting in front of my boyfriend.

You guys gave great advice.

Jackie, get friends together to break the ice and talk about it.

Claudia, fart.

I decided to take both of your advice.

I got a couple friends over.

Oh, I got a couple friends over and asked them about it.

I made jokes about farting, told them I didn't mind farting.

We all laughed, et cetera.

Then one day, I just went for it.

He laughed and we moved on.

Last weekend, he proposed to me.

It It was perfect.

And that evening,

and that evening, we were sitting on the couch and I started laughing about something and I couldn't stop farting.

It was,

it was so long and so loud.

He was so shocked and his eyes were so big.

But then he started laughing and said he couldn't wait for the future with me and my butt.

Thank you guys for the advice.

Love you.

Oh my God, we love a happy ending here at the morning toast.

That is so cute.

I mean, it's such a beautiful story.

I'm so glad you guys got engaged.

And he knew the all of you like that.

You do fart.

You know, he wasn't like getting engaged under false pretenses of like, oh, no.

But you know, there are girls, like, and I think I might be talking to one of them who like refuse to acknowledge like their bowels in front of their boyfriends and husbands.

And then it like ruins it for the other girls.

Cause like, let's say you break up with some guy and he doesn't know that girls fart.

And then like you go into a relationship with a girl who wants to be herself and just like fart.

And then it's like, that is like a culture shock for that guy.

So I think it's like, we all as a gender, like we need to get on the same page.

Yeah, we do need to get on the same page.

And while we're like getting on pages, women stop peeing on the goddamn toilet seat.

And you know what?

You do that.

You do that first and then I'll fart in front of your mans.

Okay.

You stop peeing on the toilet seat.

I will start farting.

Okay.

Okay, but can you go in?

What is your philosophy for toilet seats?

If every woman sat their ass down on the seat instead of squatting, then one, your butt cheeks aren't dirty.

So fellow women's butt cheeks aren't dirty.

We all sit.

No one pees on the seat.

No one then has to squat on top of a dirty seat.

Right, because if we're all just sitting, then it's like our skin.

It's like holding someone's hand.

It's like just skin.

It's it's really not a big deal.

It's not like your asshole goes on the toilet seat.

It's just your thigh.

Right.

And if you're sitting on the toilet seat, you're not going to pee on the seat.

Right.

It's the squatters who pee on the seat.

But if everyone, if we could just trust one another, sit our asses down, you would never see a pee on the seat.

This has to be a TED Talk that goes viral so it actually can get implemented like in our society.

Yeah, no, I think it's it's really like step one towards women trusting one another.

I swear.

No, I think it's really, really important that you said that.

I'm glad that you're going to wrap up the show like that.

But like, if women who pee on the seat like aren't going to look out for me, then you're not going to, I'm going to keep clenching.

100%.

And it's my right to do so.

Well, congratulations to this toaster who is quite gaseous, but now she's engaged in gaseous.

She's in gaseous.

That's good.

And gaseous.

Wait, that's a good name of today's episode.

No, we actually had some other really good ones.

Of course, I forgot them already.

I was thinking darn well.

Oh, that's good.

Yeah, something about the retreat.

I forget.

Maybe life is not a wellness retreat.

Yeah, but maybe I should put that on a shirt, an offensive shirt.

Etsy.

That's like so Etsy.

Yeah, and you know what?

I'll put it on a shirt and then you can buy the second dear toaster can buy that for her boyfriend and be like, try this.

Try this.

Well, Jackie, I'm sad to see you go, but I'm excited that the rest of the week is taken care of.

So you can really lean into the wellness retreat for the next few days.

Make it count.

And we're counting on you to bring back positive wellness and inspirational vibes to Monday's show.

But for those.

Still around, tomorrow I'm in studio, YouTube, and podcast with Taylor Strecker.

Friday, in studio, YouTube and podcast with the points guy, Brian Kelly.

Also, we have our Patreon Q QA going up today, podcast episode.

Claudia and I are answering all of your questions.

Well, no, sorry, I'm answering the questions.

Claudia is asking your questions about the wellness retreat because the vlog answered so many, but also left so many there.

And honestly, the questions are so good and specific.

Like, how did I have enough workout clothes for two weeks?

You guys, they do laundry here.

Like, the questions get into everything.

And so I'm really excited for you guys to hear it because I would have a lot of questions too, you know?

Yeah.

So stay tuned for that.

Patreon.com/slash morning toast.

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Until next year.

Thank you so much for listening to the Morning Toast and London Morning Show where we deal with the fastest stories that you can eat you know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up.

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Hope you guys have an amazing rest of your day.

Don't forget to hump someone you love, Jackie.

Dive back into the retreat, and we'll see you tomorrow.

Goodbye.

Bye.