S4 Ep59: ApRiL fOoOoLs: Thursday, April 1st, 2021

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Morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the morning toast, everyone.

Happy Thursday.

Hope you're having an amazing day.

We're so close to the end of the week.

We're so close, we can taste it.

Some of us are already having an amazing day because I smell betrayal once again.

Yeah, and I really honestly just like want to glaze over it.

I don't want to talk about it because it's so deeply painful.

And like, and it's honestly embarrassing.

Like, can we just skate past it?

I don't think it's embarrassing.

I really don't.

Of course, you don't, because you're the winner in the betrayal.

We're like, literally, my own son.

At least, did you pay his bills?

No, like, I literally walk him all the time, feed him, pay his motherfucking bills, bitches, subscribe to Bark Box.

Like, still can't sit with me on the show.

Oh, wait, am I coinciding?

Is he on the no, no, he's just getting more comfortable with his auntie.

At least he did the betrayal before the cameras went on, and he didn't, like, publicly shaming him.

He didn't know that you brought it up, so you're publicly shaming me.

Well, I mean, nobody's perfect.

Maybe this is an April Fool's prank he's playing on you.

Oh, yeah, so I just want to give a disclaimer to the show.

Like, we don't have April Fool's pranks for you.

I find them annoying.

Jackie had like one idea, and I didn't like it.

I'm like, we're just going to end up like being offensive.

Of course, no, my prank was like an idea that I never actually wanted to do because it's like way too crazy and like you guys couldn't handle it.

No, like the world couldn't handle it.

Like, April Fools has now become like a sensitive thing.

Like, no, I feel like, I feel like April Fools, I actually think that like COVID was great for April Fools because it gave like this reset reset to April Fools that we all needed.

And I really am caught off guard.

Like today, Dana got me this morning.

Every year she tries to get me.

What'd she do?

Some years she has, some years she hasn't.

She texted me and I woke up and I happened to like wake up a little earlier.

I was just like scrolling on my phone and I opened her text first and she like said something about one of the vaccines.

I don't want to like spread misinformation and get this video taken down, but she was like, oh my god, like Pfizer vaccine, like all these studies just came out.

Like, I don't,

I'm not going to say because like literally like the video would be taken April 1st is so sensitive like you know like vaccine information is so sensitive right so and I was like oh my god what I was like send me the article and she's like I can't April Fools

she's so nerdy like that's what she came up with she lives for April Fool's I was like who else do you get I think she got a lot of people but people had been on to her for so many years like you have an alarm set like Dana's texting you it's April Fools but because of COVID like I feel like people's defenses are really down and like April Fools is they're having success no the key to April Fools is just like catching someone who doesn't realize it's April 1st yet.

You know, that's why you have to do it in the morning.

She always sends the morning text.

Like she literally wakes up early.

It's like her birthday.

I swear.

She loves April Fools.

And she got me today.

She really did.

So just be on alert from like your favorite like influencers and celebrities like pulling pranks on you.

Like Ben did one this morning that I actually thought was pretty funny.

But all in all, I'm like not into pranks.

So there are no pranks here today.

People rely on this show.

We're going to give you the same old regular show.

Nothing crazy.

No pranks.

We're not pranking anyone.

Theo, stop eating the plant theo

theo come come to me or is he or is it a prank oh

everything today i'm gonna be like is it a prank is it not i can't leave my house because i'm just gonna be paranoid like that people are pranking me yeah and also i'm just gonna like use this as an excuse to stay off social media because i'm not in the mood to have my like emotions toyed with yeah like someone already sent me something and it's like they got fooled and then they're sending it to me like look at this and i'm like You fool.

Yeah, you're a fool.

Fool me once.

No, and also, I just, I'm really hoping that this year we don't have any moronic celebrities or influencers who do like a fake pregnancy announcement.

Cause like we're so beyond that as a society.

It's just like not acceptable.

I don't know who would.

Justin Bieber and Haley Bieber did it like two years ago.

Oh, did they?

And they got so much shit for it.

Good.

Rightfully so.

That's not a funny prank.

No, it's not a funny prank like for those who are pranked nor for the prankies.

Like

you could have a baby one day.

So like why would you want to make a joke about it?

Yeah.

No, it's just weird.

So like hopefully nobody does anything idiotic like that.

I'm sure someone will.

Don't worry.

Yeah.

No, that's the one thing I can always rely on like people on the internet for like to do something stupid.

And then I just watch.

Mwahahaha.

But no pranks here today.

And that's not a prank either.

We're fully just doing a regular show.

It's hard to tell though sometimes.

You just never know what could happen on April Fools.

I know.

I am getting a haircut today, so I'm excited.

I think I'll maybe get a bob.

April Fools!

I think you should get a bob.

I know.

I kind of just want to do something drastic.

I say that every time and then I get the same like three inch trim with layers and angles, you know, like.

I honestly think you should get curtain matings.

Like everyone's doing it and i think some people like should are doing it who shouldn't be doing it but i think like it would suit you the curtain bang no i'm like i'm i'm open to also like me i'm so out of touch like i thought that snitch invented curtain bangs but they're everywhere it's like a trend on tiktok no i know now i know that now so like i'm just kind of hesitant to take like permanent beauty solutions and trends from tick tock like okay when it comes to trying a foundation like i'll try a foundation but cutting my hair because someone on tiktok told me to i don't know if that's a level of like loser i can get to i don't know i think for some people though it's like it's the right move.

100%.

I'm not saying and I'm saying I think for you like it could be the right move.

I just wanted to see you do something crazy.

I'm going to think about it.

Pixie cut, change it up.

Stop.

So just like spam me with like your favorite hair inspiration photos so I can like get some inspiration.

Yeah, we love inspiration.

Speaking of nothing that we were just talking about, new episode of the redheads dropped this morning.

I'm being inspired.

Totally.

New episode of the redheads dropped.

I'm wearing my redheads merch like in support of me and my gals.

Also, like you can still get redheads merch at shopmorning toast.com this is literally my favorite sweater ever by the way the rascal flat song me and my gang is you and the redheads 100 photoshop your heads on we live to rock me and

gang to live that's you guys we we live to read we read to live so true oh my god we should put that on a mug yeah um so head over to the redheads book club listen to the episode read the book snitch's choice just dropped for next month except i just saw a comment that like it's not available to purchase anywhere so like that might be a problem what yet someone was like i i can't find it on my kindle like if it's not on the kindle then it doesn't yeah it ain't good then it's nowhere so um stay tuned on that but yeah it's always a great time to be a redhead it feels like a particularly good time

and other than that it's super windy and rainy here in new york today but thank god you are here to break that wind no i know like that's what i do best break wind and um jackie convinced me to get this jacket when we were in dallas and i made a commitment to myself like if i'm gonna buy a fendi jacket then i'm going to wear it oh so many times that like at this point based on what i pay pays for itself I now I think like each time I wear it it cuts the the price of the jacket like in half yeah and I feel like now I'm literally at like $50 for this jacket $50 just per wear huge bargain yeah such a bargain such a bargain such a great investment I would say a great great investment such a cute jacket by a great investor Thank you.

Yes, I'm here to break the rin.

We have like four good days in New York.

We really thought like spring had sprung and now it's like 30 degrees.

It's raining and it's cold.

Yeah, but you know what?

Like that's kind of my mood today.

I'm just in a...

Over it.

I mean Thursday, like, we have so much to look forward to.

Like, I just want everyone to take a moment to realize, kind of acknowledge this space that we're in because it goes by so fast.

It's laid out.

We actually have things to look forward to on this Thursday.

Like, okay, yeah, tomorrow's Friday, so it's like a half fake day at work.

And also, it's Good Friday, so you might have off, right?

Oh, yeah.

Not really, okay.

You might not.

But you might be able to celebrate with your family and, you know, honor the spirit of Christ, right?

100%.

It's exciting.

It might be a very good Friday.

Good Friday, millennials.

And then we have the weekend.

And like, I don't know, I just feel like we're always like lamenting on the other side of the weekend.

And if we're going to do that, I feel like we should balance it out and really talk about how grateful we are to be alive on this Thursday and have so much to look forward to.

Not only do we have a Friday, a good Friday to look forward to, we have a Saturday and a Sunday.

And I just think I would be remiss, devastated, and heartbroken if I just didn't at least acknowledge the space that we're currently living in.

100%.

And also, Sunday is Easter.

And so

like Easter brunch pleny vibes, like that's something to look forward to as well.

Also, thank you for reminding me.

As long as we're warning people, you know, be on the lookout for

she has risen.

Be on the lookout for April Fools.

This is your message.

Like, do not make your Instagram caption, she has risen or he has risen on Easter because

learn from my mistakes.

People don't think that's funny.

Even though I still think it was like a funny, clever caption, but I'm never trying to hurt people, you know?

Yeah, especially on a special day for them.

100%.

So I don't know who needs to hear that, but it's not a good caption and it's no longer socially acceptable.

Well, April Fools do it.

So yeah, no, thank you for taking that moment to acknowledge the space that we are in.

I'm really looking forward to the leading.

It's so important to constantly be acknowledging the space that you're currently in.

Do you know what I'm saying?

100%.

Especially people on Clubhouse talk.

Especially if you're in April.

No, stop.

Don't insult Clubhouse like that.

Like, that's how people on like...

podcasts talk.

No, people on Clubhouse, it's very like VC.

It is, but there, I, like, I find find at least the ones that I've joined, like they're actually saying stuff.

No, the ones that I join are like about Bravo and the toast.

So like they're obviously saying stuff.

So the ones that I've joined about like business or like society and culture, like I find that they're actually saying stuff, not like it's important to acknowledge the space that you're in.

Oh, actually, I completely disagree.

I think like that.

what the joker just made like is completely accurate.

I think that's how people on podcasts talk.

No, no, no, no.

Not this podcast.

Obviously, you should always cultivate your vibe.

Always.

People on like other podcasts.

Well, you know what?

At the end of the day,

whether or not we agree or disagree, I think we can both agree that it's so important to constantly be acknowledging the space that you're currently in.

100%.

And just to play off of that and to piggyback, I think it's so important to acknowledge when you're in a positive space.

I agree.

Because

all jokes aside.

Because as humans, we're so inclined to acknowledge when we're in a negative space that in order to achieve balance and mindfulness, we must also acknowledge when we're in that positive space.

I'm so 100% in agreement with you.

You are so smart.

And I think we should circle back and kind of follow up on that by end of day.

Yeah, for sure, but also acknowledge like that we're in that space, right?

Theo, if you don't stop eating the plant, pardon me one moment, would be

I'll sing a song about Theo eating the McPlant.

Tig Zen is plant, he lives to plant, he plans to live.

Tig Zen.

What are you getting?

Oh, treats for Theo.

Do, do, do, do.

Sorry, guys, just had to take take care of my son.

Come up here.

All the way up here.

You should keep treats with you there.

Oh, took the treat and ran.

You know what?

Theo's like maybe going through a growth sprit or something.

He's been like hella disrespectful recently.

I don't know.

I feel like he's been really respectful towards me.

I'm happy for you.

We have a great show, by the way, because not only do we have the fast five stories, but Real House in New Jersey was...

Flaming.

Well, no, that's not the right word.

Like on fire.

On fire last night.

Such a good episode.

And I thought like after last week's episode, we would kind of take a reprieve from like all the drams.

No, but the first five minutes of the episode last night were like some of the craziest things.

It was literally croutons flying.

Like cheese plate.

Was it cheese?

It was a cheese plate.

No, no.

Who has that many croutons?

I know.

I thought it was weird.

I'm like, where's the lettuce?

It was cheese, cube cheese.

Okay.

No, but like everyone was like going to 100 and then like right back down to zero.

It's like literally Melissa like throwing the plate and then immediately cleaning it up.

It's like saying something and then being and then being like, wait, I'm sorry.

Like being like, wait, what did you say?

Like no one could remember what they said.

Like were they all so drunk?

Was Jack?

drunk?

Belligerent?

We'll talk about it because it was such a good episode.

And honestly, if you've been thinking about getting into housewives, like, I would honestly just like pick up maybe from like last season of Jersey because there's so much history to Jersey.

And right now, I feel like maybe it's not that applicable, but it's such a good season.

I was just like not expecting that

from this season of New Jersey.

No, like every outing that they have is so precarious.

Like, is someone going to explode?

It's literally a minefield.

It's a volatile group of women and men.

Yeah, no, and it's like, okay, we finally simmered volcano, Teresa and Jackie, but like then bubbling beneath the surface, we have Jennifer Aiden and Margaret.

And I have to say, like, I've always liked Jennifer because I think she's an interesting girl and she's funny and all that jazz.

But I've officially turned on her because she crossed the line with Margaret.

Therefore, she crossed the line with me.

Agreed.

And Jennifer Aiden might fall under the...

Not yet, but she gives me Dorinda vibes in the sense where it's like, she could be as like funny and catchphrasy as you want, but if you continually say like horrible, unethical things like turkey based or comment like that, to me, Dorinda's turkey based or comment is the same as Jennifer what?

No, nothing.

Is that one of my examples I always use that you're going to make fun of me from now on?

Yeah.

She's fucking annoying.

Whatever.

All I'm saying is like the same level of depravity as Jennifer Aiden.

I'm kidding.

Thank you.

As Jennifer Aiden's most recent comment, which was really disgusting.

Yeah, no, I wouldn't associate the two.

To me, Jennifer Aiden is a little more endearing.

I, because I like Jennifer at times.

But a lot of people like Dorinda.

No, but I don't.

So to me, she's more endearing, but below the belt.

Yes, I agree.

Yeah, and it gets really old really fast.

But Jersey is like one of those franchises like OC where they just like constantly go below the belt.

Yeah, and that's where they live.

But they also like don't talk about like certain things.

It's very confusing.

Old school family, Italian.

You can't talk about family.

Yeah, you can talk about like these three categories, but you can go so fucking hard on the others that it's like it doesn't even matter.

What's the difference?

So that will be in our TV recap segment at the end of the show.

And I do believe.

Without further ado.

Yeah.

Without further ado.

to do

April Fools without further ado

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Love it.

Okay, first story, a little more Jen Shaw news.

Oh my god, I'll never get tired.

Things are coming out about Jen and this is not news to me, but the news is treating it as news and I want to talk about it.

Jen Shaw's house, the infamous Shaw Ski Chalet, is an alleged fraud too.

Real housewife star Jen Shaw was arrested on Tuesday for alleged money laundering and defrauding hundreds of elderly people in a telemarketing scam, but her alleged victims weren't the only ones getting faked out, so were Bravo fans.

The star became notorious for her flamboyant fashions and her friendship faux pas.

And the Shaw ski chalet that she lived in, a $3.9 million Salt Lake City rental, she grandly passed off as the Shaw Chalet,

never actually belonged to her, the Post has learned.

Yes, we've been knowing this.

We did know this.

We talked about this on the show that she was renting her house, but like it never

bubbled up to more.

But now it's like,

and apparently in the past, Andy has even said like he doesn't understand the concept of renting at all he said it's just throwing money away especially a huge home I don't get it this was not something that was asked of her on the show at all like and also it came up Brandi Redmond brought it up on another on her podcast I think and then like she didn't even say it was Jen she said one of the Salt Lake City housewives is renting from like a friend of mine and then Jen like clap backed at her you want to come for me with your red hair and bullshit come harder honey wow Jen shop for someone who had so many skeletons in her closet she really acted like a maniac like you would think if you have that much to hide, you would kind of just like be nice to people and like

put up like a facade.

Of course, we knew that this house was rented.

We've said it multiple times on the show.

And that's not shocking, but I do have to say, like, there are very few housewives in certain franchises.

I think in certain cities, it's more

acceptable to rent.

I think in New York, a lot of people rent.

Yeah.

So it doesn't like raise as many eyebrows.

But like.

When Doreet and PK were renting that house that J-Lo used to live in, now they live in a different house that I believe that they bought.

Yeah.

But they have had some questionable financial stuff too.

So, like, in certain cities, it does kind of

make me question, you know?

Yeah.

Like, but you know, and Karen Huger is renting her new house in Potomac, but she's been very open about their tax problems.

So, like, that makes sense.

Right.

And unless there's a really good reason, like, I'm pretty sure.

Didn't we not hear that one of the other Salt Lake City housewives was renting too, but also because she doesn't live in Salt Lake City.

No.

Heather

lives in Park City proper, and there is like tons of limitations on whether or not you can film in certain areas.

And Heather was not allowed to film in her actual home, so I believe they rented a home like to set the scene for her fake home.

Yeah.

That's a different story.

Yeah.

I believe the home that she has in Park City, like she owns.

Yeah, so I agree.

But to pass off a home like as completely your own,

especially when it's so big.

And then the other...

Part of the story is that they found the home that she did own up until 2020.

And it is a very modest, small, mid-size, I I would say, Art Deco home.

Yeah.

And it's not the chalet.

You could fit like probably six of those homes in the chalet if you're just looking for, you know, scale reference.

Yeah.

So on the one hand, this whole situation like makes me like question other housewives.

I'm like, okay, if there was like where there's smoke, if apparently where there's smoke, there's fire.

Like, are some of my other housewives like...

Is there a fire ablaze?

Well, I mean, it's not.

On the other hand, though, I feel like Bravo really, or in certain situations, like obviously I'm thinking of Doreen pika their finances have been questioned they did interviews on the show where like the producers are grilling them about their finances and they're both sitting there like trying to answer questions and so i'm like okay bravo was asking is asking the questions but like i feel like for jen and child like nobody was asking nobody knew to ask the questions like i don't know they knew she was renting her house yeah but there are a ton of like housewives who live beyond their means for the show so I guess, yes, production could have like pushed her a little bit and pressed harder on like how all of this makes sense on like a, you know, assistant college football coach's salary.

But I think they like to keep the you know, the dream alive, you know?

Yeah, but they press Mary.

Yeah, yeah, they do.

So, hers was more obviously confusing, in my opinion, because I don't understand how you can, like, own churches.

Aren't churches non-profit?

Like, I just had more questions about Mary when I really should have been having more questions about Jen.

I was just like, damn, how did she get so much?

But, like, then there's also, I have so many questions about like Leanne Locken.

Like, she admittedly was the poorest housewife on that franchise, but had nicer designer clothing, bags, jewelry than any of the other women.

Like it didn't make any sense.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That is still one of the great mysteries of our lifetime.

Yeah, like every single scene she was showing on.

She came on the toes twice, each time in different Gucci and Chanel looks.

Yeah, head to toe.

Head to toe.

Wait, also, you sent me something this morning about Jen Sha, which is like super fucking crazy because now people are just like questioning all the telemarketing.

phone calls they've ever gotten and somebody like dug up this like voicemail they got from a telemarketing scheme where the woman is calling you know to press about the the person's like student loans and like swear to god the woman is jen sha it sounds similar to jen sha it's crazy what account was it that i sent it um it was just so you guys can go and listen for yourselves it was so crazy when you sent it to me like my bravo bravo ducking bravo

and they and they also have like a lot of other stuff about jen's previous home and so if you want more information about that take a listen but at the the moral of this story is do not pick up the phone it's derek smeath yeah do not pick up the phone it's jen shaw Yeah.

Okay, that's so fucking funny.

We need to, if you work, if you're a video editor, like somebody make that scene in the elevator and have it be, do not answer this phone.

It's Derek Smith to Jensha.

That is so fucking funny.

So funny.

And if you haven't watched Confessions of a Shopaholic yet, you absolutely need to.

I don't know how you watch this show and haven't seen Confessions of a Shopaholic when we literally quote it like almost every single show.

Oh, so sad for the Fiskel family.

For the whole Fish family.

But like, we say so many things that I think, or like, men like you are the reason I left Finland.

So much drama at Successful Season.

Yes!

We say so many quotes that, like, I don't even think people know what they're what it says.

People probably associate it like with the toast as opposed to the original movie, which is fine with me.

Which is fine with me, but definitely treat yourself.

The girl in the green scarf.

It's such a good movie.

It's such a good movie.

I feel like most people have seen it, but you made a good point to me like a year ago that I never realized by that movie.

Like, it didn't flop, but it didn't become like an iconic film that it should have because it was released like right during the recession.

So it's like this frivolous, like matter of alcoholic can't stop shopping.

No one was in the mood.

Right.

Right during the 2008 housing crisis.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So I think now, um, well, it's also like another crisis.

Big one.

It's like never a good time for that movie.

It's never a good time for that movie, but it's also always a good time for that movie.

I agree.

Check it out if you haven't yet.

Like content upper for sure.

Galore.

I don't know what platform it's on, but it's definitely on like a Netflix or a Hulu.

You ready for our next story?

It reminds me of your Windbreaker.

Okay.

Tiffany Haddish re-wears her iconic Alexander McQueen gown for the eighth time in People's Beautiful Issue.

Oh, I love that she is not letting this joke go.

I love this joke.

I love that she's not letting it go.

It's still a stunning, beautiful dress, and now it's back.

You know the one, the Alexander McQueen halter gown that she wore to the Academy Awards, the MTV Movie Awards, and while hosting SNL, is making another showstopping appearance this time in People's 2021 Beautiful Issue.

She said this is the longest-running joke in Hollywood.

It's the gown that keeps on giving.

True.

When asked what her boyfriend, Common, says about the dress.

I forgot that they're dating.

I know.

She told people that he thinks it's hilarious.

Oh my God.

It is hilarious.

I'm like living for this space Tiffany Haddish is in.

Like she like rose to such astronomical success so fast like from that movie girl trip.

And now I just feel like she's like living her best life.

I feel like she was doing the most for like two years just like being like the premier female comedian.

And now she can kind of relax.

Like she's hosting game shows and she's just like living with her boyfriend in her Alexander McQueen dress.

And I'm just like, I want to be in the space that Tiffany Haddish is in like forever.

Yeah, totally and she's looking stunning and beautiful and smart while doing it.

I love that she's keeping this joke going.

Like I 100% respect and relate to the fact that like I think when she bought it she just like wasn't famous enough to be like gifted a designer gown but like she was like pretty famous so she just bought it herself and it was like eight grand.

Yeah.

And so she's like, I'm gonna make the most of it.

It's literally like the windbreaker.

I will call this dress an investment.

And I can say she's worn it eight times.

Yeah, this is her eighth time.

So now it's a thousand dollars for per dress.

And eight dresses for $1,000 each.

And also, it's like an amazing dress on her, like, fits like a glove.

So sickening.

A steal.

A steal.

I'm really happy for her that she's really getting her money's worth.

Yeah, and I'm sure, like, this year there wasn't really anywhere to wear it.

And I'm sure she was like, oh, the dress has to be shelved.

Can't have the joke die.

But the dress is back.

And

I'm so happy to see the dress.

As am I.

So, also happy that she's in people's most beautiful.

Yeah, I guess maybe my email went to spam when they reached out for.

Yeah, no, I heard that you were busy and Theo was busy, and so Theo's actually really offended.

He's kind of, you know, taking a stand against people.

Oh,

because he wasn't included.

Because he was supposed to be the sexiest man alive.

The planet is shaking behind you.

Okay, should I just give.

I feel like this is giving me flashbacks back to when Theo was a puppy and he like wouldn't behave.

Yeah, no, I wonder what's going on with him.

First, he betrays, and then he's like going for the McPlant.

Do do do, do, do, do, do.

Come here, Theo.

Okay, I'm sorry about that, you guys.

It's okay.

What Theo yesterday he like made the show, and then today it's like just trying to take away.

Now, today he's breaking the show.

Yeah.

Oh, also, speaking of Theo and the show, we did a podcast episode on Patreon yesterday all about the pups.

Theo, Bruce, Knowles, answering all your questions, like all about training them and our best moments, worst moments.

And it was such a great podcast.

We also came up with housewives taglines for each of them.

Oh, my God.

Yes, I forgot about them.

And they were so funny theo's breath like literally smells like plant oh my god it's kind of good my breath may smell like plant but but i love my ass

that's good that's not good

okay also there was like some drama did you see with snitch and like i know like some bunch of toasters like someone was trying to start stuff and come between went in margo's dms and was like Margo, Claudia, and Jackie were talking shit about Magnolia on the podcast episode about the pups, which we literally did not know.

No, we didn't.

And at first I was like, oh shit, we're caught.

And then I was like, wait, what are you talking about?

I honestly don't know what I would have said because I have so much love in my heart for Noel.

So I wouldn't get on a podcast and say something to the contrary.

So like, whoever the snitch is, show yourself.

And I was like, to snitch, I was like, wouldn't you want to give us the benefit of the doubt that like we

know?

She said she believes the girl.

No, and here's the thing, like, she'll never come to like find out what we said because she will never listen to it.

No, it's so upsetting.

It's like, God forbid you just listen to it.

She didn't even want to hear me out.

And I said, like, you can go listen to it.

We have nothing to hide.

And she was like, I just believe the person who sent me the message.

So, like, right.

Like, after years of like being her camper right no

means nothing no respect for the bunk none whatsoever

no trust hate to see it are ready for our next story a little content news sure netflix buys knives out sequels for 450 million dollars they're making a sequel knives out two and knives out three netflix is plunking down an astounding 450 million dollars for the rights to those two movies the next two follow-ups from the 2019 murder mystery sources tell variety i just feel like like that's a movie that like doesn't need a sequel.

I know that sounds a story.

It was like a perfect movie.

Ending.

Yeah, like it was just like a perfect, perfect.

Yeah, so.

I wonder if it's the films will reunite director Ryan Johnson and star Daniel Craig, who teamed up so memorably on the first one.

I wonder if it's going to be like Daniel Craig goes and does a whole other mystery.

Yeah, like I, I guess, know Anna de Armas.

Oh, okay.

That actually sounds like a better concept for a movie, even though I loved the cast very much.

Me too.

And I loved Anna de Armas in it.

I loved Anna de Armas, and I loved the Chris, whose last name I don't know.

I want to say, let me guess.

Evans?

I think so.

Captain America, that was him, right?

Yeah, yeah.

Evans, yeah.

He's so handsome.

He keeps coming up on my For You page, like sweet things, like not him specifically, like his fan accounts being like, oh my God, this man.

And it's like every time like he's done an award show and like helped someone up the stairs, like who won, it's just like, he's so manly.

Oh, that's sweet.

Yeah.

Remember when there was that rumor he was dating Vale?

Yes, from Vanderpump Rules.

I think about that all the time.

I know you do.

And then you talk about it all the time every single time he comes up.

It's the craziest thing.

Do you think they actually dated?

Did you guys remember that random girl, Vale?

I always get her name confused.

I sometimes call her Aspen.

I just know she's like a popular ski destination.

But I want to say her name is Vale.

It was a different Chris who dated her.

Okay, whatever.

I can't go back to this place.

I think it was a Pine.

I can't go back to this place.

I can't go back to this place either.

Whatever.

Okay, move.

Nines out, two and three.

Coming to Netflix for $450 million.

I hope you guys liked it that much.

Okay, like, I know that Netflix is like a really big company and they make their money by like, you know, charging everyone $11 a month.

And then now like doubling down on that.

I just don't understand how

they have that much money.

Like for two movies, $450 million.

Well, the first movie was made on a $40 million budget and it earned $311 million.

No, I get it.

It's an investment.

But movies earn...

But it's not a beautiful windbreaker, so I can't imagine

get much money.

No, but like, okay, play this out with me.

Like, okay, you in a studio, $40 million, it made $300 in theaters and dvd and on demand netflix gives it away for free to their customers to their subscribers but like they think i guess the gamble here is that even more people are going to subscribe because they love knives out one they've got to see two and three they're just netflix is very much giving me gen shaw vibes that's all i'm trying to say they also need to keep their customers happy happy netflix was giving me gen shaw vibes until the pandemic and now it's like they're just making money hand over fist yeah i just don't know how like how do you how does netflix monetize other than charging us for our subscription i'm sure they probably sell our data

no no no but like that's period period oh okay period you don't need multiple revenue streams once you're selling people's data just ask jen cha and when you have a um

like the subscription that they have yeah i guess that's good yeah i think i think they're okay okay next story is really going to test your memory do you do you remember back in 2015 the twitter thread that went viral Zola, yes.

Zola.

do you see the story?

Yeah.

Zola the movie.

It's all over TikTok.

Oh, okay.

Zola the movie is here.

I know.

Now that the story is the basis for Zola, the movie, it made its debut last year at Sundance's Film Festival and will hit theaters this summer.

Let's give people a little background.

Okay, in 2015, a Twitter thread went viral detailing the Odessian saga of Isaya Mino, Zola King, a Detroit waitress and dancer who embarked on a mind-boggling road trip to Florida with a schemer she met just hours before.

Her, the schemer's name was Jen Shah.

A 148 tweet thread that goes through all of the twists and turns of this trip that she took, and it was crazy.

And it went viral.

Then someone bought the rights to the Twitter thread and the story, said they were gonna make a movie.

They made a movie.

Here it is.

It's crazy how like we got a Sully movie like before Sully even finished landing the plane on the Hudson, but this movie took like five years.

Yeah, well, Sully landed

a beautiful day.

Jackie is like a Sully.

I'm Sully Stan.

No, you know what I'm saying.

Like, they make they make movies for people before they're even dead.

Like, yeah.

And it's like, why did this one take so long?

No, I agree.

Sounds low budget.

But I do feel like the longer it takes, the better it's going to be.

Agreed.

Sometimes I feel like it's almost inauthentic when a movie comes out so quickly.

It's like, oh, okay, 1315 to Paris.

Yeah.

That movie came out literally while the men were still on the train.

Like, it was so fucking quick.

Yeah, no, I agree.

It's like, we need time.

Time.

Time, curious time.

Yeah, like, I think American Sniper did a good job of like honoring Chris Kyle, but like waiting an appropriate amount of time.

Yeah, but that was also not a story that like most people knew.

Yeah, that's true.

You know?

Yeah.

We've just gotten into like this weird cycle of like making movies so fast after like major historical events and tragedies.

And it's like, give people time.

No, time and also like let it play out.

You know?

Right.

Like things could happen years later.

Yeah, or just like the way that it sits, you know?

You got to let it ruminate.

Henry.

and Mariner.

It is so important to ruminate.

And while you're ruminating, it's also important to acknowledge the time you're currently oh, it's important to acknowledge the rumination stage.

Hunter and Martha.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

It's a little charitable thing.

It's the fifth and final

April Fools, Fools, guys.

We're using so crazy.

April Fools.

Bit and final story.

Kylie Jenner donates $500,000 to

help teen cancer patients in honor of friend Harry Hudson.

Kylie is honoring her friend Harry Hudson, a singer, songwriter, and cancer survivor by helping teens undergoing cancer treatment.

The star donated half a million dollars alongside funds from nonprofit organization Teen Cancer America to build a new lounge space at Children's Hospital at Vanderbilt.

The area will serve the unique needs of adolescent and young adult cancer patients, according to a release.

I mean, I just love Kylie, and I really am very

defensive of her.

This does feel like

a nice fuck you to all the people who are like, you only dated $5,000 to the FedBee for your makeup artist.

Yeah.

So it's like Kylie's very philanthropic, and let's just stop counting other people's money, you know?

Totally.

I'm sure someone will find a way to make this a negative story.

But until then, I think it's a positive.

And considering she was getting charity shamed last week, I thought it was important to share her charitable acts of this week.

You know, the whole charity shaming space is so confusing because, like,

okay, we charity shame people who don't do charity or they're just not sharing it.

So it's like, but then when they do share it, it's like, why are you sharing it?

And it's also not enough.

So it's like, what do we do?

You know?

Yeah.

It's very confusing.

Taylor Swift, L.

Rhodes lead back to Taylor Swift, but like.

No, if you find yourself in the business of charity shaming, maybe take a look.

Maybe, maybe recognize the space that you're in.

I don't even want to say anything else because that was so perfectly worded.

End the show.

Thank you so much for listening to.

No, we have to talk about the Real Houses of New Jersey.

The Real Houses of New Jersey last night was impeccable.

Here's a few things that I immediately noticed.

Okay.

Need a house in the Jersey Shore.

And honestly, I just want to buy Melissa's house from underneath.

Or to contract Joe Gorga to build me.

Because from the front of the house, it's very unassuming.

Looks like, you know,

like a mid-century ranch.

But it obviously has this like insane back, seven bedrooms, the back yard, the patio, the pool, the ocean, the bar.

And it's so well done.

It's amazing.

It's amazing.

And like, they obviously are just like the best versions of themselves there.

Yeah, no, like they are so happy.

It was, it.

I really wanted to be there, but I was also just really happy for them.

Me too.

Like, Melissa just like making daiquiri.

Like, the outdoor bar is so sickening.

The boat, the jets, the jets.

there was just so much, so many fun times to be had there.

Yeah, I would be like really upset if like the Gorga money wasn't real because I like how they spend it, like they do it in a nice, family-friendly way.

Yeah, no, I think I, well, here's the thing: I wonder how long you're on TV.

If you're like running, you know, some sort of criminal enterprise, how long are you on TV before, like, the feds find out?

You know, I feel like they've, they're, have surpassed.

That's true.

You know, like, Gen Shaw was one season.

I feel like even for Teresa, it was like two seasons, three?

No, like four.

I don't know.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

No, I know what you mean.

You know, so I think they're safe.

I mean, I don't want to jinx it, but I just really,

I love them as a couple, and I loved that they finally like stood up for themselves in the face of Teresa because they're in this space where like they fully understand what's going on between everything and everyone.

They're very clugged, like they understand how the world works.

Teresa just kind of lives in her own head, so she doesn't really understand what's going on.

But for Melissa and Joe, it's just like constantly getting beaten down by Teresa and then also being expected to defend her.

And it's just like this impossible dynamic to want to keep the family peace, but also like at what sacrifice, like to what end do we just keep our sister happy while she literally berates us?

Yeah, no.

And they both just fucking lost their minds.

And I was like happy for them.

I was happy for them too.

I think that it needed to happen.

When Joe when Joe Gorga said that no man has ever taken away more from him than Joe Judici, I like felt that in myself.

And I felt, and he got it, he was so angry.

And I know it was just like all the, for him and Melissa, like they've been holding this in.

I'm sure every night before they go to bed, they just like talk shit.

And they're like, but we'll never say it for the interest of keeping the peace of the family.

And I have a lot of respect for that.

But there's only so much someone can do.

No, and it's like, they'll try and keep the peace as long as possible.

But when Teresa's starting to start with them, when she breaks the peace, it's like, oh, you want to break it?

Here's what we think.

Yeah, and the dinner was so insane for a multitude of reasons.

One, she told Melissa to shut up when they were literally just talking.

Like, how fucking disrespectful is that?

Like, Jennifer Aiden, you're all so concerned with how Marge talks to her husband.

Look at how your fucking best friend talks to her sister.

Like, it's disgusting.

Disgusting.

Then keeps bringing it back to Joe Judice saying that, like, Melissa, Dolores, and Joe Gorga need to apologize to Teresa for saying he was going to take her money.

First of all, okay, yes, they were wrong, but they were just worried about you.

Like, and they don't owe anyone anything.

No.

Then Joe Gorga said that Joe Judice is releasing this article about him, like saying he is dirt on Joe Gorga and like threatening him.

And like Teresa does nothing.

So then Teresa's getting into her dumb fight with Jackie again.

And Melissa and Joe are just expected to like come to the rescue.

Right.

It's so asinine and so backwards.

So backwards.

And I just loved when they exploded.

I really did.

No, I loved all of the different explosions.

And like there were so many other fights.

And like, I felt like people don't even know like what was happening.

When Margaret, for like 0.5 seconds, turned on Jackie.

I was glad because Jackie was being out of control.

And I have to, I hope, like, for the sake of...

They're fine.

No, no, no, I know that they're fine.

Like, was she so drunk?

Because her emotions were just like all over the place.

Right, because she spent most of the dinner just being like, I'm fine, stop worrying about me.

And then like she was literally a puddle of tears, like inconsolable.

And the fact that she would like come away from that and be so upset with Joe Benigno, like, stop.

And I'm just like next morning she was like, I thought Margaret handled it expertly.

And like, she

Margaret was in a tough spot.

She was in a tough spot, but like she didn't back down from anyone.

And Jackie needed to be told, like, stop.

Like, you can't just be a big baby.

Yeah, no.

And by the way, like, I, it just wasn't made clear like how Joe Benigno said it.

Cause yes, he did say he heard it, but that they didn't believe it.

And it's like, he's not a paid housewife.

He doesn't say things to like stir up drama and create plot lives.

He was just a guy like sharing.

Like, I felt so bad for him when he was sitting at that meal.

Like he just like had

unbeknownst to him like made a colossal fuck up.

Yeah.

And like literally turned this whole thing upside down and gave so much credibility to Teresa without knowing it.

Yeah.

And I felt so bad for him.

I felt so bad for Marge.

And then I did feel bad for Jackie.

And I feel like Melissa was really the only one making

like bringing people back down to earth just be like look at this girl like she's fucking broken We're talking about her marriage like that's off limits to us like why why won't you stop and I actually had a lot of of respect for Melissa for going up against Teresa and just being like, look at this girl.

Like, look what you're doing.

It's her marriage.

And I understand, Teresa, like, you don't have a fucking marriage right now.

Maybe you can't understand what that's like.

But, like, at some point, like, just let it go.

Yeah.

So I think things had to get really bad before they could get a little bit better.

I also, the relationship between Teresa and Joe and her brother is just like...

The kiss on the lips.

Oh, no, I'm not worried about that, but like...

It's no, Teresa's in love with her brother.

Like, under campaign.

Is that what you're trying to say?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like, if Joe tells her to do something, she'll do it because she loves him.

No, and she's just like, I think it's really hard for her.

And I think, like, if you want to, like, I'm not, you know, a family therapist, but like, if you want to get down to the root of like her

disdain for Melissa, that's always kind of like Joe Gorga's a husband she wish she had.

No, and like, yeah, she wants to be like married to her brother.

No, like, not in a sexual way, but in like that.

So like Melissa takes away like the like time and energy and love from Teresa, like because she's his wife.

And like, there's like a jealousy that's not just like girl stuff it's like sibling yeah no it's weird for 100% but I like love Joe and Melissa's marriage so much and I really think like no one's in a tougher spot than Joe like having to choose and I have a lot of respect for him that he will always defend his wife like against his sister and it's not hard because his sister's always wrong but he also like does the best that he can and not like blowing it up piling on to Teresa like he jumps in when it's absolutely necessary but like he he tries to defend her as much as possible and that's that's really all you can ask for it was just like uncomfortable watching so many parts of it like of course when joe margaret and

uh jackie were fighting like i literally wanted to die and then watching jackie and her crazy ass hair extensions just like sob in delores and frank's living room like it was so crazy it was when jackie

went back to melissa's and called her husband like again

i'm operating under the guise that she was so drunk because it's the only way that like i can make sense of any of it rationalize and like literally piling onto him And it's like, in this instance, like Jackie just needs to be stronger for her family.

And like she'll, like, her husband, it's obviously really affects him and his business.

Like, she needs to internalize it.

She needs the armor.

She's not like, she's just making everything like bigger, bigger and worse.

And

she needs to shoulder more of it.

Like, I'm sorry.

No, I know.

She's like, this is your, this is your world.

Don't get me wrong.

Teresa started this whole thing.

And Teresa is unequivocally wrong.

But the way Jackie's handling it is.

She made it into a full-blown storyline.

And then now she's like, I'm not giving life to this.

It's like, this is a teenager now.

No, literally, like, it's so silly.

And,

and that conversation, I actually like never have had less respect for Teresa than when she like said she didn't want to talk to Evan.

She's like, no, you could talk to him.

Like, you know, and Jackie's like, no, I think you should talk to him.

Like, really?

You're going to run your mouth at his birthday party, talk shit about him, not back down, and you won't even say one fucking word to his face.

Like, and you pretend like you're so confident and strong.

Really, bitch?

Like, that is the most cowardy shit ever.

And then, no, No, it gets worse, more cowardly when in her interview, she's like, I'm old school.

Like, the husband and wife sorted out, but I guess they have a different sort of marriage.

Yeah, like a marriage.

Yep.

One word.

You know, she was just like, one word they don't send each other to jail.

She was off her fucking rocker last night.

Like, the fact that she had literally the gall to say to Jackie, like, I don't think I want to talk to your husband.

Like, after all you've fucking done, you don't even have the testicle to speak to this man.

I just, I found it appalling.

Because, you know what, say what you want about Teresa, but she's a fucking beast.

She's strong.

She could go up against anyone.

And now she's like, I don't want to protect your husband.

I'm like, what are you, fucking 11?

It was crazy to me.

Like, I was floored and I never had less respect for this woman in my life than I did her standing talking to Jackie.

No, I don't want to talk to heaven.

What?

What?

It was crazy.

I have to be honest, the worst moment of the episode for me.

No.

Where I literally, my hand was like this.

I was like, so feeling so awkward.

I can't, I can't, it was the worst moment when they're on the boat and Teresa's taking pictures.

Oh, my God!

Yes!

Yes!

Of Jackie and Evan trying to be like sweet.

Trying to be sweet, being like, kiss.

And it's like, oh, you're literally trying to bring this couple apart.

Like, trying to be sweet.

I totally forgot about that.

And it's like, I wanted to appreciate her effort, but she's done so much damage and she's been so wrong.

I can't help but cringe.

I'm going to like be sick right now.

No, it was sick.

I'm going to go.

I'm going back in, though.

No, that's and the fact that like Jackie and Evan like

debated and like it was community theater.

Like it was fucking awful.

No, I've never felt so much from the community theater.

No, I know.

Oh my god.

Also, then things like took another turn at lunch when the guys get up and Margin and Shout out to the guys.

Like they handled it like pros because obviously you can't shut the conversation down.

This is your wives' jobs.

They're on a show.

But everything is so much more heated and personal when the men are there because because they're literally talking about the men, but the men don't want to get involved and like stand up for their wives, which I completely and they don't want to turn their backs on each other like guys night.

Right, they're friends.

Like, no.

I have so much respect for Frank Italian, by the way.

He did not say one word in the car about Joe Benigno, and he did not say one word at dinner about Joe Benno.

So much respect for him.

I have so much respect for Joe Gorga being like, men, up,

out.

Yeah.

Take your salads.

And let's go.

But

it was like.

Melissa, I mean, Margaret and Jennifer Aiden like kept saying below-the-belt things to each other, but Jennifer fucking started it.

Like, things were finally going well.

She's the one who brought up last night, and then she just completely fucking lost the whole thing when she said the thing about her boss.

That she brought up the night before.

Like, finally, it was smoothed over.

Like, what are you doing?

Of course, the boss comment was like so below the belt, like, took a vulnerable moment and used it and weaponized it.

But to me, the initial crime is even bringing up last night.

Again, even if you're not going to get into a fight with Margaret, why would you put Jackie and Teresa, like, back in that place?

What are you trying to do?

And you claim to be Teresa's friend, so, like, why are you bringing this back up?

I'm so turnt on Jennifer.

And even though this is probably not even the worst thing she's ever done, I know.

Turned to.

I know.

It's hard because you want to like her.

Like, her family stuff is funny and interesting, and she is such great style and live for her husband.

But unfortunately, that's not enough to negate all of the negativity that she brings.

And after her bringing up last night and what she said to Margaret, anything that Margaret has now said about her,

fair game.

I agree.

Even that word.

I agree.

And also the concubine comment.

What's a concubine?

Like,

it's really mean.

Well, it's like, she's basically said, like,

because Jennifer was like, I can't believe you talk to your husband that way, which, by the way, is such a nasty thing to say.

Like, of course, stay out of people's fucking marriages.

And then Margaret was like, well, yeah, you can't talk to your husband in any other way because he's your fucking meal ticket, you concubine.

Yeah, a woman who lives with a man but has lower status than his wife or wives.

Didn't even know there was a word for that.

Yeah, and also that's like such a concubine.

That I think, um

did candace

call ashley darby a concubine i have no idea i swear i've never i've never heard that word i believe that she did it's like a biblical term and it's oh like like whore it's but it's like so specific and poignant yeah no i'm like and the fact that margaret was just able to like pull that sat word out of her back pocket we have no respect for respect no but see like i think of course like the the sleeping with the boss comment was so atrocious but like it really riled me up when she said like i can't like talk to your husband that way like first of all, you don't know how people communicate.

Second of all, stay the fuck out of people's marriages.

Like, it was so

much learned that.

It bothered me like more than all the other stuff.

Like, because if somebody ever said that to me, I would be like, mind your own fucking business.

100%.

And also try.

And she was just trying to make Margaret look so bad.

Like you talk down to your husband.

Like, it was just like really, really disrespectful.

So I'm fully team fucking Margaret.

I'm 100% team Margaret, never looking back.

I'm very upset with Jennifer.

And you know what?

I actually walked out of the episode with with a little bit more respect for Dolores because for me, Dolores' blind spot has always been Teresa.

Like, Dolores has had a really unique way of being the real moral compass of the show, except when it comes to matters involving Teresa.

And it gets like frustrating because you want, where is that like smart, wit, moral compassy vibe when it comes to the Teresa shit?

But she's always just kind of been blinded by it.

And I feel like last night, she

told Teresa to apologize after dinner.

She, she, she doesn't come out as strong as she should for Teresa, but at least now she's navigating Teresa in the correct way.

And she was the one who like audibly gasped when

Jennifer Aiden said like that thing about Margaret's boss.

Yeah, I feel like even though she's not like, you know, sticking up for

history, but she's not defending Teresa, which she usually does.

Yeah.

So she's at the wrong showhouse, you know?

I would love her house.

No, I know, but like, you know what I mean?

Like in terms of like, it's like, these are the two couches.

But no, but like still, it's like what she said to Jackie, like we're cut from a different cloth.

Like Teresa and Jennifer, like they are just more similar.

No, I know, but, like, for my personal enjoyment, I would just like Dolores on the right side of history.

I know, but then you'll start, then you'll get a fight between Dolores and Jackie, and I don't want that either.

Not again.

Even though that was pretty funny.

Okay, Jackie.

It's high-quality fabric.

Every time I hear her tag, I'm like, Me too.

I laugh.

I may be quite cut from a different cloth, but it's a fairly fair.

But it's high-quality fabric.

I just laugh from our assessment.

I know.

That was like the most random fucking story.

Sounds like rug sounds good.

She literally sounds like she works in the garment district.

Like she's trying to sell, you know, a card.

Corn fabric.

Yeah.

It's the highest quality fabric.

So it's, it's honestly such a good season.

Like, I, I kind of dread watching Dallas.

I look forward to Jersey.

Like, I watched live.

I was so excited to watch it.

Me too.

No, I turned on my TV at eight o'clock, found out it was on at nine.

Me too.

And that's it.

So I rewatched the old episode.

Oh, no.

What did I?

Oh, I put on Discovery Plus Inegarten.

She was making a delicious salmon taco.

It's just so good.

And it's like the franchise we really needed from them because we had a couple rough years there.

So, no, it's really good.

Um, I'm loving it, and I can't wait for next week.

And Team Market for Life, Keeping Up with the Karachians is on tonight, bittersweet once again.

I'm headed out to dinner, so um, yum, I don't know if I'm gonna watch it.

Like, depends on how many drinks that I have.

Okay,

see how you feel.

I'll give you one guess to guess where I'm going to dinner.

I know where, where your addiction, yeah, can I say zero bond?

Yep, I'll be there.

That's our show.

No, it's not April Fool's.

It's someone else's show.

No, but really, that's our show.

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Goodbye.

Bye.