S4 Ep53: Hey Girl Hey with Taylor Strecker: Wednesday, March 24th, 2021

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Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the morning toast.

I am so excited.

First of all, because it's Wednesday, happy hump day to all of you.

Please don't forget to hump someone you love, whether it's your partner or your dog.

It doesn't matter because it's a special day, mostly because it's hump day, but also because I am joined by one of the great loves of my life, filling in for Jackie today, Miss Taylor Strecker.

Hey, girl, hey.

Hey, girl, hey, I'm so excited.

I missed, I mean, I always miss you, but I get to see you, but it's been a minute since I've been on the show.

I know, I'm so glad you're here for a multitude of reasons.

One, we have so much to catch up on.

I don't believe you have been on this show since you've become a fiancé.

I have not.

Are you wearing your ring?

I am not.

It doesn't fit my fingers.

I won't talk.

I won't take colour.

But also because we just have so much to catch up on.

Jackie gets a day off while she's on vacation and everyone wins except for me because I'm still here working.

Oh my God.

I'm so happy to be here.

We do have so much to catch up with.

I mean, I feel like it's been, God, Claudia.

How long?

Like a really long time because years.

No, because we've been in COVID for a year.

Oh, you came on the Patreon recently that was really fun that was so fun i came to your apartment went on the patreon yeah i mean i yes that was i swang in and out but i'm really excited to be here today can i say what i want to say literally i just want to put one disclaimer i'm up in pennsylvania with tpg we're having such a nice day his dogs are super loud so if you hear barking it's just celine and marshall living their best lives nothing to be alarmed okay i just this monday just this week just two days ago launched my motherfucking own patreon so welcome.

Thank you, Queen.

Claudia, you have been telling me, you can say right now, I told you so, because you've been telling me for years, years.

I'm not one of those people.

Like, I really feel like your journey is your journey.

I did tell you so.

I did, but I'm not going to dub it in.

It's just like a matter of fact kind of thing.

I don't know why it took me so long.

If I'm being completely honest, it's like, now that I'm over here, I'm like, I'm such a moron, like such an idiot for taking this long, but whatevs.

We can, let's backtrack because because I feel like we've gotten actually a lot of new toasters in the last year because of COVID who might not be familiar with your story.

And I find it just to be such a story of like empowerment with your radio show.

So, why don't you tell everyone, like, for those who don't know, apologies for those who are obsessed with Taylor and already know, but tell us like a little bit about how you got here.

So, I have been in radio for like

audio, if you will.

I mean, you guys, I was in radio before podcasting even existed.

I'm a thousand and three years old.

So, but I look like a cherub, but I

little chubby babies what I look like.

I, um, so I've been in radio for a while.

I worked at Sirius XM for like 10, 11 years.

I worked for Cosmo Radio, which was like the magazine.

And back in the day, Cosmo was like the number one women-selling magazine.

So it was kind of a big deal.

I got it like right out of college, like super young.

And

it was amazing.

I got to interview like all the celebs.

I mean, it was like, it was a rotating door of celebrities at Sirius.

Like, that was the thing.

Like, Sirius equals star fucker.

You know what I mean?

So it, that was like incredible.

Like, I got to know Selena Gomez really well and invited her to my wedding.

Um, Taylor Swift.

My first wedding.

My first wedding.

I interviewed Taylor Swift and I didn't know who she was because that's how early on it was.

And she knew I didn't know who she was.

And she was like really cool about it.

Like, she was nothing if not professional.

Justin Bieber was a dick, and I almost got fired over that interview, but I didn't get fired then.

They waited

11 years later.

Then you got fired.

And it was, I mean, it really was the coolest job ever.

And I am really grateful because without Sirius, I really probably wouldn't even be in radio/slash audio, whatever, podcasting.

But then they savagely fired me

on a Saturday when I was going to get an advertiser for the show.

Mind you, I didn't make one penny from ad sales, which we now know is so egregious.

But anyway, so that was a dumpster fire.

But while I was at Sirius, um,

I

was an identifiably straight girl.

I'm Cosmo, right?

Cosmo.

I, I, like, the girl that they picked to do their radio show had to be like the Cosmo girl, right?

Giving tips on blowjobs.

And I was just like, I hate blowjobs, I hate sex, I hate penises, it doesn't everybody else.

And it was crazy.

And so, of course, I was like dating in New York and, you know, living with my best friend.

And so I ended up, I was out in the Hamptons one summer and I met this guy.

We're going to call him Chad for this portion.

And Chad was,

you know, like, douchey cute.

You know what I'm saying?

And so he was, I had been dating like with bad guys for so long.

And like, I never really was like that into any of them.

And Chad, I was like, I have to stop dating drug dealers and start dating like adult people, you know, because I'm just not feeling like the drug dealer thing is going to like go well for me in the long term.

But we all go through a drug dealer phase.

It's nothing to worry about.

Nothing to be ashamed of.

It's so true.

So I remember like thinking, this guy, I'm not like wanting to jump jump his bones But like do I ever want to jump anyone's bones?

No right and at some point It's just like you know comfort Yes, exactly and he was like so nice and such a gentleman and really was like a good guy and I was like I'm gonna think with my brain and no longer like my heart or my vagina not that either one were really involved in the first place anyway

So we started to date and he was just like, it was like a year and a half and then he proposed.

We moved in and then he proposed and we just went through the motions.

Once we were engaged, shit shit hit the fan with his family.

And I was like, oh my God, like, what am I doing?

I tried to like postpone the wedding.

I was like, this is going to be so bad.

The prenup, we were fighting over the prenup, we were fighting over everything.

It was just like, I was fighting over religion.

It was out of control.

Yeah.

But I just was like, well, you can't, like, how rude to cancel a wedding when everybody's already sent their gifts.

You know, I couldn't possibly have manners.

I was raised well.

So,

despite the fear, I went through the wedding and thought, we'll figure it out after the wedding.

And five years later, we got a a divorce.

But remember what I said, it's all a part of a journey.

It is a part of a journey because after I got a divorce, I fell in love with my very, I only had one, my very cool lesbian friend.

I was, I was so lame, I thought I was like, when I met, well, my now fiancé, Taylor, yes, her name is Taylor.

I'm Taylor, she's Taylor.

I remember thinking that,

like, I'm so cool and woke that I have a lesbian friend.

Now, mind you, this was like seven and a half years ago.

So please don't come for me.

So you can say dumb shit like that.

Exactly.

And think all the dumbest shit.

So I actually thought she was straight when I first met her.

I actually hated her when I first met her because she was tall and skinny and blonde and her name was also Taylor and she was the better Taylor.

I could tell in two seconds.

And I don't like that shit.

So I was like,

you're a big woman for admitting that.

Thank you.

Oh, she's, I'm definitely the ugly duckling of the relationship.

And that is.

No, you are not, but she just is like so sickeningly gorgeous.

It's just not fair.

Very annoying.

I like, like, I vacillate between like pretending her body is actually mine.

Oh, that works.

And remembering it's not.

So when you were, and you ended up being at Sirius for 11 years, we had a huge show, like huge show.

Got fired, boom, done, toast, canceled.

Yes.

And then you just kind of picked up the pieces and started your own radio show.

And that's what you've been doing over the last three years.

And why I really wanted you to come on this week is because, you know, we're all in this space.

It's, we don't have a Sirius XM.

Like we're all doing it ourselves.

And so you had tried different platforms and you finally now landed on Patreon, which I'm a huge proponent of Patreon.

We've had so much success with it at the toast.

I think it's an amazing platform.

I like love that a lot of creators aren't on it yet because it's not oversaturated.

And the people who subscribe to our Patreon, like it works.

Like it's just a good platform for people like us.

And I'm so excited that your show now finally moved.

You also do a daily show.

You do Monday through Friday.

Monday through Friday, daily show.

It used to be, so after Siri's fired me, I basically found a network that could kind of do like, it was like live streaming radio.

So I basically was like, get the show back that was taken from you because it was truly taken.

It was taken from me and the whole audience.

They didn't even give me a goodbye show.

It was like pretty savage.

So that was crazy.

That

was crazy.

And I had to go like radio, silent, punatte

for like months because I was in, you know, contract situation with them where they were saying I could, my non-compete said with serious, I couldn't work for a year in audio.

That included podcasting.

I actually had a deal with CBS like right out of the gate.

Yeah.

Stasse made a call for me because she was like,

yeah, she was like, Captain Save aho, thank God.

Right.

And because I call her hysterically crying.

And then she was like, I mean, I was about to call you guys and try to talk about coming over to the old place as well.

Horizon, yeah.

Yeah.

And then that shit hit the fan and I was like, Claudia can't help me now.

No, I know.

I'm like, girl, like, I need your help.

I'm canceled too, but in a much worse way.

Oh, my God.

I literally, I got you a point where I was like, am I, do I have like the opposite of like in my like the media is what what's it called touch I was like does Midas Midas Midas I'm like is am I'm turning into shit and all my friends around me I'm like splitting the shit out no 2018 was a very hard year for both of us oh my god but then my lawyers um Marty and Larry it's the only way to go they were both like they were like your lawyer is not named Marty I don't want it

and

curly hair and old oh yeah and they got me um they got it down to three months because it was

bullshit.

And that's when I launched the Taylor Shreker show.

Still the same name on the Patreon relaunch, but I launched it three years ago on this platform called DNR.

Right.

So now.

And it was live radio.

It was 8 to 10 a.m.

So now we're more of kind of like a pre-recorded situation.

But so now you just like.

It's hard.

And now you're what, like three years out from that, like completely rebuilt your own show, moved it to Patreon.

Like it's really like a, I feel a story of success.

And I think something a lot of people, especially after this year, can relate to, just like being so down on your luck and having to just make the best out of what you have.

So I'm so excited that you're here.

I hope that any toaster who loves this episode will subscribe to Taylor's Patreon.

It's premium.

I listen to her show all the time.

She's insane, like truly fucking insane.

And I just think it's a great, you know, amuse bouche before the toast.

Thank you, girl.

Yeah, you guys definitely, the episodes are out like first thing in the morning.

Like you're better five than us.

Like we are, we keep with COVID, like we're like 11, 12.

I like that.

no no no i like that but i have to do it because i'm morning radio that's like where i'm i'm like grandfather bear we're the morning toast and our episodes come out at noon like for millennials you're more

like show yeah but so taylor is here with us we are going to dive into fast five get her takes on all the drams and because today's wednesday we're also going to do dear toasters with taylor which i'm actually really excited about dear toasters is our weekly advice segment and you know jackie and i have really lived like the same life so we kind of have the same feelings about everything.

Right.

And I feel like you could offer a fresh perspective to some of our toasters in need.

As an older, late-in-life lesbian, I absolutely could.

100%.

So I think without further ado, it's time to jump into the fast five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

How?

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Okay, so this first story like kind of has the world shook because anytime Pete Davidson, you know, farts, like the girls freak out.

Yes.

So according to page six, Phoebe Diniver, I don't know if I'm pronouncing that right, excuse me, was spotted after the Pete Davidson romance rumors.

Bridgerton star Phoebe Diniver has been spotted out and about for the first time since rumors swirled of her potential romance with SNL funny man Pete Davidson.

The 25-year-old actress was photographed attending a pre-production meeting in Greater Manchester, England on Tuesday for her latest project.

So there's really no story here other than the fact that she was paparazzi'd, but it's just a platform for me to talk about this relationship

and preach about how I feel it's unfair.

okay so phoebe is i actually met phoebe years ago when probably what because i was hosting younger the after show and she oh my god yes she's she's josh's girlfriend pregnant right yeah wait i always get scared yes pregnant i i because i'm so far ahead i always get scared that i can't say things oh my god so she but so yeah so so pregnant josh's girlfriend the whole thing she's

forgot she's a total adorable button of a human being you know like i feel like when you see people on screen like they sometimes are like they vibe different in person, but she holds up.

Like, what you see is what you get.

She is like too cute for words.

And I just don't know.

Does, I mean, does Pete Davidson have like a magical ding-a-ling?

I do not understand.

This is what Ariana Grande said.

Like she, when she said that about him, I don't know if she, it was intentional or not, but like she made him the most desirable man in America.

Do you, okay, so do you think it's the Ariana Grande effect?

Or do you think I actually know this is crazy.

So back at Sirius, sorry to keep being like an old person back in my day.

Back at Sirius, when I had my first rotation of co-host, Carly Aquilino from Girl Code.

Oh my God, I totally forget about that part of Pete David's.

Yes.

Yes.

She was a co-host.

So I got to know her.

She was like every week on with me for like over a year.

So I really got to know Carly.

I love her.

Talk about a button.

He's got a type and it's a tiny little miniature person you'd stick in your pocket

pocket.

Yes.

And oh, her, she had that fire engine red hair, but she's always changing her hair color.

Yeah.

She is so cute and so funny.

And they were comics.

That's how they they met and he started to like really rise up and was like kind of a dick

you know what they i've i've always kind of admired how i believe that they're still friends she had a role in king of staten island a small role which was his movie which was like obviously he you know wanted to collaborate with her and even though that's like one of the couples he's had like so many lives i forget about like the cassie david of it all totally um yeah she was after carly She was after Carly.

After Ariana Grande, he was like the most desirable man in America, Kate Beckinsale.

Like he just had it all.

Yeah.

And so personally, I'm not like a Pete Davidson, you know, stand.

I don't, he's not really my type.

I do understand like the obsession.

And for me, it's just like, I don't think it's fair that Lady Bridgerton just like gets to be with Pete Davidson.

And then also, you know, Simon from Bridgerton.

Like, you can't have it all, girl.

Like, leave some for the rest of us.

Oh, that's why you're, I'm mad that he keeps getting these girls.

It's like, how?

And why?

No, no, I'm not mad about that.

I'm mad that like this one girl, she gets everyone.

Like let, leave some for for the rest of us.

I feel like he, remember when someone said he had butthole eyes?

That wasn't nice, but it did make me laugh.

It wasn't nice because it's a medical.

Then I decided that it made me not laugh again.

Right.

And it was like a

no, because what happened was like somebody said it on like a barstool sports podcast or whatever.

It was barstool.

And Ariana Grande like replied to that and being like, that is so mean.

I believe he has Crohn's and it has something to do with his Crohn's.

I'm not 100% sure.

so don't quote me on that, but it was like a medical thing.

And that just, that was such a crazy time in the world, like when Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande were like the, the world was unbalanced.

I will say, I was like obsessed with the fact that I thought he was significantly less attractive than his partners.

And it made me angry because I felt like it was like a misogynistic, I don't know, just like, um,

just it really summed up like the world that we live in.

Like the king of queens, like really, he gets like Lisa Remini, like that's like, or Leah Remini.

It's like, that's not fair.

That's a hilarious comparison.

Kevin James and Leah Remini.

Like, I didn't know where you were going with that.

I call it the king of queen syndrome.

No, that's actually really good.

Like, it just doesn't add up.

It doesn't add up, but I will say that.

I love Leah Remini, by the way.

She's a queen.

Over the years, Pete Davidson has very much grown on me.

I definitely think it was the Ariana Grande effect worked for real.

I fell in love with that sweetener album and then like fell in love with their love because I felt like the whole album was about their love.

And then three seconds later, she wrote a bricku album.

I was very confused about timing and publicity and was very distraught.

But I actually,

I saw that movie, I was on a flight and I watched The King of Staten Island.

And actually, he's fucking awesome.

Yeah, no, it was cute.

And the thing is, with funny guys, it's like, you don't always have to be the most handsome to be the most attractive.

Like, when you are in comedy, like your personality and your, your wits like just make you funnier.

I mean, sorry, make you cuter.

It's true, but like, does that work for us?

Like, if I'm not even funny, do I get funnier?

I'm not the funniest bitch alive and I should be like Giselle, but no one's treating me like Giselle.

So, no, it doesn't work for us.

Same.

And that's why I'm going to still fight the good fight.

Well, Phoebe Dennever,

Deniver, I'm sorry.

I don't know how to say her last name.

And I said it wrong to her face.

Phoebe D.

Phoebe D.

Phoebe D.

Literally, she's going to be like the biggest movie star.

Like, she's going to be like...

Ever.

Ever, because she's so gorgeous.

She's so talented.

And

Bridgerton was so big.

And now with this, like, I just, I see big things for Phoebe D.

Me too.

I like Phoebe D.

I'm rooting for her.

She's also set to star in the new Sky Original Biopic, The Color Room, where she will portray ceramic artist Clarice Cliffin.

Never heard of her, but that should be interesting.

Interesting.

I wonder how much she's getting paid.

I know.

I mean, she definitely made a lot of money because Netflix like pays out the ass, but she was relatively unknown before that, except for younger.

Like, she wasn't that recognizable.

I'm really happy for her, but like, she just needs to.

My takeaway here is like, leave some cuties for the rest of us.

Stop taking them all.

She's greedy.

In the words of Ariana Grande, I'm so greedy.

So greedy.

All right, next up.

This has to be the dumbest story I've ever heard in my life.

Also from page six.

The Real Housewives of New York cast is not surprised Bethany Frankl orchestrated her engagement news the same day that their trailer dropped for the new season.

You know I hate Bethany, right?

I'm here for the story.

I'm here for the story.

Okay, so this is what page six says.

The Real Housewives of New York aren't putting their happiness on pause for Bethany Frankl's marital bliss.

Members of the reality show's current cast were miffed at former member Frankl on Tuesday as they suspected that the skinny girl mogul timed news of her engagement to be released on the same day Bravo dropped the season 13 trailer of Real Housewives of New York, a source is telling page six.

Quote,

they were all confused why she's still obsessed with Real Housewives of New York and would orchestrate her engagement news to come out the same time as the trailer for the show.

Bethany is just being her petty self, but she can't take away the cast happiness or how hard they worked during this season during the coronavirus pandemic.

However, an insider close to Frankl pointed out that Frankl never confirmed any engagement news herself.

The paparazzi took photos and spotted the ring.

So I think this is the dumbest story of all time.

I know you hate Bethany and I really need you to try and take that, like try and be unbiased here.

I can't.

Why?

Because, like, literally, Bethany is her own star.

She does not need to keep competing.

She left the housewives by choice.

Like, she's not losing sleep.

Like, and you know, I could literally hear Ramona, Ramona planted this story.

Like, I can hear Ramona so vividly in this narrative, like, thinking everything's about her.

Totally.

Here's the thing.

I believe Bethany to be a great reality TV personality.

I believe her to be very successful and very wealthy and very aspirational.

I also believe her to be a monster person with no soul, a a dumpster person, if you will.

And

I believe

that I really think that she is a petty person.

And I think that no matter how famous she is and how successful she is, she's probably constantly torturing herself because she's so competitive and measuring herself on like her actual failures.

And she might, although, and I'm with you, she left housewives.

It's not a failure.

But here's the thing.

There are some people there that are so dark, and I believe her to be one, that it's like, even if they choose to leave, they don't want the show to survive because it threatens their ego.

Like they need to know that it was them, that they are the star.

So I think there is some of that with her.

That is actually a really interesting take.

I don't agree, but I'm definitely that type of person.

Like if I leave something, like it needs to fail, you know, like, so you just pinpointed like a character trait in myself that I didn't know I currently possessed.

That's what I'm here to do.

I really do think, though, I think that there's something with that.

And also, Bethany is the queen of page six.

The queen.

I know, but like, first of all, she was paparazzi.

Like, and if you

call them.

If you look at her Instagram, because I was just looking at that, because it's a house.

Her last, like, three photos, she's like kind of wearing a ring and you could like see it.

Like, nobody pointed out.

She wasn't like really hiding it.

I don't know.

I just, I don't think that.

Lions don't lose sleep over the opinions of sheep.

Bethany is the lion here, in my opinion.

New York is like a floundering franchise.

It's still popular, of course, but it hasn't been as popular or as good since she left.

I'm going to need you to stop coughing.

Like, we are doing a podcast.

I'm turning my microphone off.

Oh, you're turning your microphone off.

Okay, sorry.

Okay, no one can hear.

I was like, this bitch is literally fucking coughing on my show.

Like,

I had COVID.

Okay.

Okay, fine.

You are living in post-COVID life.

That's fine.

Like, fine.

Oh, my God.

I didn't know you were turning your mic down.

I apologize for reprimanding you.

No one heard it.

Okay.

but back to the story i just don't believe it but you do and that's fine i just think that bethany is like living her best life and i really don't think she cares like she's super popular right now like she has all these things going on her podcast is widely successful um she has hbo max shows and like she's just like a lot going on no she really does i mean i i i think her success is um very admirable.

I will give her that 100%.

And it's not like the announcement came on premiere day.

It literally was the day that the trailer dropped.

Like nobody, only like hardcore fans watched the trailer.

It's not, it wasn't this big insult to Ramona, although I do believe Ramona really sees it that way.

I don't think she's lying about how she feels.

Oh, yeah.

Ramona's delusional world is real to her.

You've got to take a trip to Ramona's delusional world because it sounds like an amazing place to live.

Although Ramona did call it when she said, Bethany doesn't support other women.

Oh, my God.

You are such a Bethany hater.

I love Bethany.

And I've heard.

Did you see my Bethany tweet tweet on my Instagram?

Happy International Women's Day to everyone but Bethany for.

I actually did see that and that was a great tweet, especially coming off the heels of her Megan Markle stupidity.

That was so bizarre.

So I have to stand by my word.

I actually love

how you crack yourself up so much.

It's like one of my favorite things about you.

I figure if no one else is laughing, I better be laughing.

Yeah, I know.

And it's like, all you need to do is hang out with yourself.

Pretty much.

Pretty much.

Okay, this next story is so bizarre.

Have you seen this like viral internet cinnamon toast crunch thing?

Okay, I saw something about a meme with Taylor Swift with cinnamon toast shrimp.

What's going on?

So I don't know about what Taylor Swift thing you're talking about, but here's the story.

E-News is going to break down the whole cinnamon toast crunch shrimp tail debacle.

For anyone who doesn't know, it's like the weirdest thing to happen on the internet.

Twitter users are eating up the story of how Jensen Karp unexpectedly found something fishy inside his bag of cinnamon toast crunch.

I love a pun.

The LA-based podcaster whose wife is Daniel Fischel from Boy Meets World to Panga.

No.

Yeah.

I've got stories.

Oh my God.

Of course you do.

He claimed he found two sugar-coated shrimp tails in his bag of cereal and has been sharing his disturbing experience with fans on Twitter.

On Monday, he posted a picture of what he alleged are pieces of shrimp that he found inside the cinnamon toast crunch bag he bought at at Woodland Hills Costco in California.

Jensen tagged the brand and wrote, um, at Cinnamon Toast Crunch, why are there shrimp tails in my cereal?

To prove he was serious, he added, this is not a bit.

He wrote, I'm looping in at General Mills because I'm genuinely nervous.

I will never eat or sleep again without answers.

The Cinnamon Toast Crunch account responded to say, we're sorry to see what you found.

We would like to report this to our quality team.

They also offered to replace his box with a new one, and he responded, Guys, I'm not sure I'm ready for another box.

At this point in the shrimp tale, Seth Rogan entered the chat.

The comedian wrote, You win, to which Jensen replied, Seth, define win.

Later in the day, the brand announced, after further investigation with our team that closely examined the image, it appears to be an accumulation of cinnamon sugar that sometimes can occur when ingredients aren't thoroughly blended.

We assure you that there's no possibility of cross-contamination with shrimp.

However, Jensen was not pleased.

He posted two more close-up images of his fishy friends and said, after further investigation with my eyes, these are cinnamon-coated shrimp tails, you weirdos.

I wasn't all that mad until you now tried to gaslight me.

This post has more than 100,000 likes.

Wow.

The podcast host mused to his followers, imagine a universe where I'm like, yuck, these are shrimp tails.

Then I re-examine them a few hours later and realize, nope, they are just accumulations of sugar.

So now the internet is like in a tizzy looking at these photos.

They are 100%

shrimp tails.

Like there's no, like you can't convince me otherwise.

Are they shrimp tails with like a little bit of the meat still in it or are they like sucked out?

No, it's like the tail end of the tail.

Like, you know, the crispy.

The tail of the tail.

It's like flaky.

Oh, God.

It's really sick.

Interesting.

I mean, are there any people that don't believe him?

If you see a picture, like you have to believe it.

But this guy, I don't know like what he does or if he works in comedy, but he's so funny.

Like he keeps tweeting at General Mills, like he will not let the saga die because he feels like they're gaslighting him.

I actually, my first thing was I was like, oh, him and Topanga are looking for some press.

I know.

Ever, right?

However, I do the fact that he used the term gaslighting because there's nothing more frustrating than something happening and then the person that did it to you denying it.

It's the worst feeling in the world.

And so I actually believe his incessant tweeting is because he feels so wrong.

He feels so desolate.

He's like, Phoebe found the what in her, she found the finger in her.

Are you talking about friends?

Friends.

What did she find?

Remember,

who found the finger in the food?

Somebody, it was, it was like a, oh, it was like a, I think it was a severed finger and finger and like a Coke or something, a Diet Coke.

Okay, like I've seen every episode of Friends and I have no fucking idea what you're talking about.

I mean, sometimes I dream things and make them up and think that they actually happen.

So this could be one of those cases, but I swear, I think that there was like a finger one.

And didn't she become like a millionaire because like the brand didn't want it like to get out that there was a finger and

she's becoming friends with like lisa kudra and jennifer asked

what the are you talking about i'm talking about like the shirt you're wearing the what yeah like the shirt you're wearing a friend's t-shirt right now

Hello, Phoebe becomes a millionaire.

What the fuck are you talking about?

No, she ends up like it ends up falling through like she loses the can or something, you know, some Phoebe thing happens.

But like, I swear to God, i remember this okay i have to google it like what

what is the premise i feel like we are not speaking the same language like

don't understand what you're talking about

there was an episode of friends where somebody i think it was phoebe found like an appendage i believe it was a finger and i think it was a diet coke maybe it was a box of popcorn i don't know but it was like a thing Okay, I remember.

And if you're right, like the friends community is going to come after me because I'm like a friends encyclopedia, but I have have literally.

That's what I'm questioning myself.

Wait, wait, wait.

Friends finger episode.

There's no such thing.

Like, I'm telling you.

I swear to God, I mean, I'm kind of like somebody,

like, I'm like, I'm like your grandmother.

Like, I don't really, like, remember something that somebody has told me yesterday.

But, like, I remember things vividly from the past.

Yeah, but I also make things up from the past.

I also make things up from the past.

Are you finding anything on Google?

Cause I bet you're not.

Friends Fen,

the one with the thumb.

The one with the thumb.

That's the name of the episode.

Okay, and what's the premise?

There's also one called Friendly Finger.

The one with the font.

I'm trying to find Wikipedia.

If I'm wrong, I'll be so embarrassed, like dead ass.

Phoebe struggles to get rid of all the free money she's receiving.

including $7,000 from a soda company when she finds a separate thumb in her drink.

Wow.

Fuck.

You're right.

It was episode in the third episode of the Friends First Season.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Oh my God.

The Friends.

I might have to delete this part of the podcast because I'm so wrong.

And like, I'm embarrassed because I am the number one Friends fan in the world, but clearly I'm not.

You are.

I'm actually not.

I'm happy for you that you like Googled it and you got justice for yourself.

That's not going to get edited out.

No, it's literally being edited out right after we hang up.

Okay,

so where do I pick up?

Well, I don't even know what we were talking about Cinnamon Toast Crunch story.

Yeah.

Okay, so I feel like maybe he's trying to like, I don't know, like he wants money for what he deserves to get.

That's gross.

Yeah, no, by the way, there's tons of stories like that.

Like, do you remember that hockey player who found a full-blown chicken head in his bucket from Buffalo Wild Wings?

The picture is the crazy, the beak, it's the craziest thing.

Don't Google it, it's disgusting.

Like, there's so many stories like that.

Like, somebody in Wendy's found a finger instead of a french fry.

Like, yep, oh, oh.

So, this stuff happens.

So, and when you're in the middle of those people get paid, those people get paid.

They get paid.

So, I feel like not only is he expecting them to be like, oh my God, dude, we're so sorry.

Like, let's give you a check.

Instead, they start to deny him his truth.

That would infuriate me, too.

Yeah, no, he was looking for his like big money moment, and instead he just got gaslit.

But I, I, I mean, I can't believe it's Topanga's husband.

That's for me the wildest.

I was at her first wedding.

I was at her first wedding.

I was at her first wedding and got hammered and like got really weird.

I mean, he didn't do anything weird.

I got really weird with Jonathan Taylor Thomas because he was there.

Okay, wait, start from the beginning.

Start from the beginning.

Why were you at her wedding?

When I worked at Cosmo Radio, she came on the show all the time.

And there was like a point in time where she was talking about like getting her own radio show like in the afternoon.

So that's kind of how I got to know her.

And she was like into Cosmo Radio, like a fan.

So she was a fan of my morning show.

And then also this guy, Patrick, Patrick, who dated Stosie.

Yes.

Topanga had like a

little mini crush on Patrick for a moment in time.

Interesting factoid.

Yep.

And he was one of my very good friends, how I met Stossy.

So that's kind of, but her and I kind of just like stayed in touch over the years.

And we like went to the Soho house and had lunch together.

And we had like the best time.

We were like kindred spirits.

I'm like, we're best friends.

And then she invited me and Wusband, my ex-husband, to her wedding.

It was kind of like one of the, you like, you know, when you get invitation, you're like, oh my God, I didn't expect to be invited, but this is going to be the best thing ever.

Literally happened to me yesterday.

No, tell.

No, I just

got invited to a wedding that I just haven't spoken to this person in a really long time.

I love them dearly.

Right.

But, you know, COVID changes things.

Everyone, like, I didn't get invited to a bunch of weddings this last year that I probably would have if it were a normal year, which is because of COVID.

And it's important for me to say I'm not mad.

I actually hate weddings.

Yeah.

Unless it's like people I love dearly, like family and very, very close friends.

I will respond no to most weddings.

Like I just don't like going to weddings.

But it's just like so nice when someone wants you at their festivity.

It's an honor to be invited.

It's such an honor.

So Wuzbin and I got out to LA and we went to the wedding and it was so fun.

Where was it?

It was like downtown LA and like a huge like cathedral space type of thing.

Do you watch Selling Sunset?

Yes, of course.

I swear to God, where Christina, Christine Quinn got married, was

she got in the newer one, but like this was like maybe like eight years ago.

But I swear to God, it was the same location.

It was like a big ass chapel.

Big ass chapel, indoor, outdoor, like huge cathedral ceilings, like, you know, like colored lights everywhere.

It was like that.

And then an In-N-Out truck came and we were all like wasted.

And JTT was there.

And I was like, this is my moment.

He is my man.

And he did not like it at all.

He He did not like me.

He did not like it.

He did not think I was cute and or funny.

Oh my God.

Funny.

But I've just remembered that night, Wusben and I were seated at a table with this very nice lesbian couple from New York City, and I was obsessed with them.

Oh my god,

early on.

Foreshadowing.

I'm going to dive into our fourth story, but not before letting everyone know about another sponsor of today's show, BetterHelp.

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It's never a bad time to take control of your mental health.

Never.

I love a therapist.

Me too.

You're my therapist sometimes.

Oh, you're my therapist sometimes.

This next story, I'm like so happy about.

I'm like nervous because I have a feeling you don't like this person.

I just have a feeling like about it.

Okay.

Okay.

Taylor Swift and her mom Andrea donate $50,000 to a mother of five who lost her husband to COVID.

Taylor Swift and her mom Andrea Swift are giving back to a family in need.

The 31-year-old singer and her mother gave a joint donation of $50,000 on the GoFundMe page for Vicki Quarles, a mother of five whose husband Theodos died of COVID-19 this past summer.

The family's fundraising goal was $50,000, and thanks to the Swifts donation, they have surpassed it.

DaQuanda Smith, the organizer of the GoFundMe page, shared an update from Vicki thanking the Cardigan singer and her mother for their generosity.

Words cannot express how incredibly grateful I am for all the kind and caring people who have made donations in support of me and my five daughters, she said.

I would like to especially say thank you to Andrea and Taylor Swift for your thoughtfulness and generosity from our home state of Tennessee.

She went on to share that the Swifts had sent her a sweet personal note that warmed her heart.

The road ahead will definitely not be the same without theodis but with each day i am humbled and anchored in hope that i can continue to raise the girls to be as compassionate and caring as all of you she concluded thank you so much so i live for taylor swift like it's she gave us great news today i won't go into it because i know you're not a swifty but we got great

are you gonna say something I'm not not, I mean, I'm not as Swifty as you, but I'm, I love her.

I think she's great.

I don't

just felt like you hated her.

No, no, no.

I didn't know her.

I wasn't a big fan and I didn't know who she was when I, the first time I interviewed her.

But just based on that experience alone, I would be a fan of hers no matter what forever.

She's just, she seems like, I think there's some things that she does that I've not over the years been 100% here for.

But overall, I think she's like fucking awesome.

Okay, good.

I'm so glad.

I love this story.

She gets like, anytime Taylor Swift does something, there's some sort of backlash.

And especially when it comes to philanthropy, she always does philanthropy, like very low-key.

She's not, she just like posted on a GoFundMe, like literally put $50,000 on her credit card.

Like, she didn't make like a whole big check, you know, local news thing.

I just live for her.

I think, I mean, this is a terrible story.

I hadn't heard about.

There's millions of stories like this now because of COVID, but a mother of five losing her husband.

It's so sad.

I love Taylor.

I love her mom.

I love that they did this.

I love that they did it secretly.

And it became a big news story just because, like, it literally was on GoFundMe $50,000 from Taylor and Andrea, like just two regular people.

So it became a story because it's, it's newsworthy, but not because she's like out, you know, being so like, look when I did.

Exactly.

No, she's like the real deal.

But you know what?

Even if she was out,

I don't mind.

Like, I feel like we shame people who are like public with their donations.

They're still donating.

I know.

Well, I mean, I know the whole Kylie Jenner thing.

Well, so that's also what I was going to say.

We spoke about that yesterday on the show, coming off the heels of this whole stupid, like, go fund me $5,000 thing.

Like, it does make Kylie look kind of bad.

It does.

It does.

But I do, like, there was a part part of me when I first read the headline that I was like, yeah, maybe she should have given more, but like, isn't it better to give?

Like, let's not like shame people for giving because then it's like, cause I think that that's a big thing when it comes to especially charity.

It's like, well, if I can't give enough, I shouldn't give it all.

It's like, no, every little bit helps.

So, but also, you know, Kylie explained herself.

When I saw the headline too, I'm like, damn, that doesn't look good.

But when then when Kylie explained herself, she logged on to the GoFundMe.

The

goal they were trying to hit was 10,000.

They already had 6,000.

So Kylie gave five to put them at their limit and like a little bit over.

So it's like sense.

And she just put it on her story to share the news.

Like it wasn't this whole conspiracy to get her followers to pay for her ex-makeup artist surgery.

Like it's so stupid.

Like, so that's where like the news makes drama where there's no drama.

Yes.

No good deed goes unpunished.

That's the epitome of that.

But I'm really happy to see Taylor getting the respect she rightfully deserves after years of being disgraced by the media.

And it's just never, ever, ever a bad time to be a Taylor Swift fan.

I love her.

I love her.

And I love what she did with Scott Borchetta.

Fuck you, Scott Borchetta.

She realized that.

Oh, girl.

I, yeah, I could, I stand her silently, but I do.

I know.

And it's just like the bane of my existence is just like realizing the way we talk as a society about Taylor Swift versus how we talk about other artists, mostly male artists.

It's so misogynistic.

And like, she really

is, she.

is what Ramona Singer would consider a woman who truly supports other women.

She really is.

She truly is.

She walks the walk.

Unless that woman is Kim Kardashian.

Oh, well, I mean, you know, those are, those are deep wounds.

Yeah, and I can't get into it because it's really like a sensitive spot for me.

I wrote about it even in my book because available at girlwithnojob.com/slash book.

Um, because those are like my two queens, and I just can't even, I can't even, let's just move.

If you had to pick, if you had to pick, can't

literally can't would would rather like what are my options, jump off a bridge or I'm jumping.

Okay, fifth and final story is news that probably doesn't surprise anyone, mostly me.

According to the New York Times, Ellen DeGeneres loses a million viewers after the apology for her toxic workplace.

So when Ellen DeGeneres returned from a summer hiatus to open the 18th season of her daytime talk show in September, she came armed with an apology.

Quote, I learned that things happened here that never should have happened.

She said, I take that very seriously.

I want to say I'm so sorry to the people who were affected.

Yada, yada, yada.

Viewers did tune in for her apology.

Her season opener this year had the highest ratings for an Ellen premiere in four years.

And then people tuned out.

Ellen has lost more than a million viewers since September, according to the research firm Nielsen, averaging 1.5 million viewers over the last six months, which is down from her average of 2.6 million in the same time last year.

The decline has come at a time when workplace behavior in Hollywood has come under intense scrutiny against a backdrop of protest and social change.

It is a startling step.

Okay, New York Times is getting like all, you know, SAT word over here, but I can't even read the New York Times.

I don't even understand it.

No, the first two paragraphs had everything I needed.

She went from an average of 2.6 to an average of 1.5.

I do have to say, I think overall, cable show ratings are going down.

I don't know if I would blame all of this on her toxic workplace.

Definitely a lot of it.

But

also take into account that it's been just like a weird year.

People's trends are changing.

Cable ratings are over the last 10 years always going down.

Plus this scandal.

So I think they're like making this a bigger story than it is but it is interesting to see like a million an average like that's a lot of people that's a lot of people i'm with you i definitely think that they're kind of manipulating the statistics yeah to their storyline which is like see she's done because of what she did but i think it's actually a lot to do with if none of that had even happened i think the ratings would still be down maybe not to this extreme amount but they'd be down regardless a hundred percent but this is just like so clickbaity but i would love to hear you know as a fellow host like what are your thoughts on the whole ellen thing

you know the ellen thing's interesting and if and if i misspeak i apologize i think i know a lot but i know i don't know everything okay um

you know

it's complicated because I think sometimes like in business, we're different versions of ourselves than we are like personally.

Right.

And like, and like sometimes you have to be kind of tough in business and it's uncomfortable, but like it needs to be done.

And also Ellen's very famous and interacts with a lot of people that remember her and she might not necessarily remember all of her interactions.

Also, she set herself up by being the be kind girl because like

like then you if you're anything but perfectly kind, you're a monster and you're off-brand and you're a liar.

So she really like, there was so much working against her, but I mean, listen, some of the stories are horrific and like she like, it's, it's fucked up to just mistreat people like the waitress who like she like nails

food back to the nails and like I know it's also fucked up because she literally blamed all of the backlash on like the people like she said it didn't come from her it was like the workplace around her but it's like you know it comes from the top of course it does and also that's the thing too is in her and she sucks at apologizing which is my least favorite quality in a human being

just pointing up and say you're sorry right so i'm like 50 in and 50 out if that makes sense and like i just feel like i think that we should take it seriously but at the same time like there are so many other egregious things going on around the world and businesses like i mean hello harvey weinstein right ellen is i feel like she people want to cancel her as hard as Harvey.

And it's like, yeah, she's a fucking bitch with a bad attitude, but like, there is a spectrum of wrongdoing.

And I don't think that she's at Harvey's level.

Taylor, like, this is what we've been saying so much, especially in this last week with like the whole David Dobrik scandal.

I don't know if you're caught up on it.

I'm not.

Whatever.

Like, he, you know, all of his sponsors are pulling out, you know, his HBO Max series, his

everything, because there was this investigation done that one of the members of the vlog squad,

trigger warning, had, you know, raped someone who was a part of David's vlog.

David knew about it, made jokes about it, filmed, like was there.

I don't know, it was really toxic.

And so many people are like, David Dobrik's a nice guy, like this is cancel culture.

I'm like, actually, no, this is like a full-blown crime.

Like, this is not at all.

There is 100% a spectrum.

And I agree.

Like, okay, is Ellen the nicest person in the world?

No.

Should, you know, Should she go to jail?

No.

She's just a mean person.

And

even though it's not, that's not a crime.

Exactly.

And you know how many, and I hate to go here, but do you know how many fucking guys are at this Hollywood?

And it never, he's just a man in charge of his career.

God forbid a woman pushes back, you know?

Well, again, I want to say I do think Ellen's an extra consciousaurus.

I totally agree.

I do think that like.

There's so many guys who, you know,

both fear.

My favorite example is Alec Baldwin.

Like he just skated by and

no one ever questions.

Like there are so many crazy things.

First, the voicemail, you know, calling his daughter a pig or whatever.

And I know that's personal.

Okay, whatever.

The beating up the paparazzi, being mean to everyone.

And it's like, he's still the toast of Hollywood.

He's on SNL.

Like everyone loves him.

This whole Hilaria scandal.

He's just like untouchable.

That would never happen to a woman.

Never.

Never in a million years.

So that's a good point.

Yeah.

So those were the fast five stories, and I feel as though you needed to know them.

I feel much more well-rounded.

Me too.

So before I let you go, it's Wednesday.

So we have to do our Dear Toaster segment, which is so much fun.

And we always get really good insights from people all around.

So I'm going to read a few submissions and you're going to do your best to give the best possible advice.

Is that okay with you?

I am in.

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Okay, ready, Taylor?

Red day.

I got three submissions for you.

First up,

here's the sitch.

My wedding was supposed to be last October, but we postponed it to this year because of COVID.

I ended up having a small ceremony last year to make it official, but we are still having the big celebration in the fall.

One of my bridesmaids has been hooking up with my college ex since January and just told me about it.

I've known her since preschool and I was obsessed with him from seventh grade through senior year of college.

They both went to the same college, if that's even relevant.

I don't want to throw away the friendship, but the more I think about it, the more mad and betrayed I feel.

Talk about RDH.

Even my husband agrees that I should be mad.

Like, why is it now on me to forgive and move on when she could have just not done this?

So, my question is, should I hash it out with her and let it go?

I need your help.

This is tough because, like, weddings, you have to make like, you know, life decisions because your wedding is like one of the biggest days of your life.

Yes.

But if you're getting married, like, why do you actually care?

Then it doesn't matter.

Wait, right.

The thing is,

if you're getting married, like, why do you really care?

Well, this is a thing.

I mean, listen, it's tough because you kind of don't get dibs like once you've moved on, but there's also kind of girl code that it's like, just because something doesn't work out with a guy doesn't mean like, if I had a friend date one of, like, there's an ex-boyfriend of mine, like, if one of my friends dated him, I'd be like, that is so fucked up.

Like, because he's just mine forever, even though I don't want him anymore.

And I'm a lesbian, I don't even want that dick.

It's like, he is not, he's not yours.

You do not get to go near him.

This is tough.

I mean, the thing is, it's like, I can't really relate to this because Ben was my first boyfriend.

Like, I don't really have like exes, you know, right?

Which is so weird.

I do.

And so, I'm going to, like, I'm going to let this girl know.

I mean, like, we shouldn't say this, but we're allowed to feel it.

Like, you're allowed to feel pissed off at this, especially.

I don't know.

Listen, I don't agree.

I know sisters where

the one sister was dating a guy, the other sister dating him secretly behind her back because they were just a hookup.

And then the sister married the guy.

So,

girl.

And that's.

Imagine having had sex with your sister's husband.

I'm not 100% sure if the first sister had sex with the husband, but I'm pretty sure.

I'm pretty sure.

So, I know, which is wild.

But I remember the older sister would always say, well,

he's my soulmate.

And that was the argument.

That makes it acceptable.

And but I always remember thinking, I don't, there's plenty of fish in the sea, though, no?

Yeah, no, the sister thing is weird.

That's not the same, but I don't know.

I feel like once you get married, you kind of relinquish, like, and I feel like if that, if that were Ben and he was like mad at his friend for dating his ex, I would literally slap him so hard across the face, like the disrespect.

You can't admit it to anybody.

The disrespect.

Yeah, she definitely can't tell her husband how she feels.

But she said she did, and her husband agrees with her.

Like, it is wrong.

Oh.

There's weird things here.

I like their relationship.

It sounds like her and her husband, like, are, you know, real team players.

Yeah, and they're

so transparent.

He supports her even in her crazy thoughts that could hurt his feelings, but he's like, fuck my feelings.

I love you.

She has a great future ahead of her.

Right.

That's what I'm saying.

Like, look at your husband.

He supports you even when you're being crazy.

Like, focus on that.

That's amazing.

You got the right guy.

I agree.

That's the message here.

Okay, next up.

Dear Jackie and Claudia.

Well, Claudia and Taylor.

I listen to your show every day.

Never thought I'd be writing in for some sisterly advice from my sisters.

A couple weeks ago, I noticed my boyfriend of four years acting weird, avoiding eye contact, going to bed early, et cetera.

When I confronted him about it, he nearly broke down in tears and told me he had something to confess.

After about 20 minutes of trying to get it out of him, he told me that earlier this year at my dad's 80th birthday party, he and my brother went upstairs and ended up having sex.

Full-blown sex.

I was alarmed on multiple levels.

One, my boyfriend is straight who has never expressed interest in other men.

Two, I couldn't believe that he would be so disrespectful to do this in my family's house.

And three, the betrayal for my own brother may just be the most devastating part.

Oh, this is going to break my heart.

My brother knows that this is the man I want to marry.

We've been together since college, and he's basically a part of the family.

I've yet to confront my brother about this.

I'm nervous, scared, heartbroken.

I don't know how I can get past the betrayal of this magnitude from a family member, but I'm also not prepared to have a broken relationship with my only brother who I've always been very close with.

My boyfriend and I have decided to stay in our relationship and work through this, but I don't know if I can ever have them in the same room again.

I feel like this is going to change the dynamic of my family forever.

Should I even bring this up to my brother or just continue life as usual, pretending I don't know this happened?

I don't want to fracture.

I don't want to fracture my family over a drunken mistake.

Thank you.

Whoa.

Wow.

You are, are you motherfucking Teresa?

Yeah.

How is she being so logical about this?

I would be, I mean, I would, I threw my sister into the shower and broke the door over a pair of Uggs.

Yeah.

So what do you think I'd do to my brother if this were the case?

No.

I would go ham.

Like, there's so many things I want to unpack here, but I feel like the first that maybe you maybe are avoiding is like,

I feel like now that it's kind of out in the open, like you and your

boyfriend should have a conversation about where you stay, where he stands in his sexuality.

Cause that's important for you to know.

Yes, absolutely.

Because I think that there is a closeted hello.

Me, closeted community of the gay community where it's like, you're in such denial that it's almost like, well, it doesn't even count because it's not like I'm cheating with another girl.

And it's like, well like it and listen if you're okay with an open relationship That's totally cool But like you need to really understand at length what you're signing up for for a future with this guy because you know There is something to be said for is he bisexual?

Is he, you know, actually gay?

I just want you to make sure that you're not signing away your life to something that's like, it's not, you're not both seeing it from the same perspective.

Right.

Where it's like a half-assed relationship because there's a part of him that he's hiding or that he doesn't even, you know, doesn't have the courage to work through yet.

He might be scared to come out.

I know from experience, coming out's really scary.

So, but the fact that he had sex with your brother, who I think is out, is gay.

Well, that was not confirmed, but I have to assume.

Okay.

I'm going to make it the assumption.

Girl, that's wild.

I know.

I would like to shift your perspective a little bit because in her writing to us, she said, I don't want to fracture my family over a drunken mistake.

And I don't know if I would belittle it down to a drunken mistake because

it's so much more than that.

It's so layered.

It's your brother.

And I do think, like you need to put equal amounts of effort into working this through.

Like this is going to be really uncomfortable like for a lot for a while, but you don't give up on family.

And if you're willing to work through this with your boyfriend, then you should be more than willing to work through it with your brother.

It's going to be really awkward, but I really feel like you should be hurt.

It'll bother you your whole life.

Like this is not something you get over.

The thing though is I feel like she's so considerate about everybody else's feelings.

Like, girl, what about your feelings?

Oh, my God.

That's a great point.

Like, you didn't once say like anything about yourself here.

Like, this is, this is is actually like a really heartbreaking feel for everyone.

Like, I can imagine how difficult it is for her boyfriend, like, maybe struggling with these feelings,

how difficult it is for her to get caught in the middle.

But the only person I don't feel bad for is the brother.

Yeah, the brothers, really, you're, and also, listen, I'm not, I'm not saying I believe in like breaking up families, but you're allowed to get mad at your family when they disrespect you.

Your brother really disrespected you.

I kind of feel like your boyfriend did too.

Yeah.

100%.

And a drunken mistake is like your boyfriend goes out and hooks up with somebody that's a stripper.

Right?

That's a drunken mistake.

This is like, you know, this is, there's so much betrayal from so many angles.

And I don't know how you're so calm.

Like, I am being, I'm being deadass when I say this.

I really want you to find a couples counselor for you and your boyfriend and or your own counselor because you are so ready to just push down your own feelings on this.

Like you need to, you need to like use this opportunity.

Like you've been very wronged by very many people that you trust.

and like you deserve to like live in your feelings.

And you're so concerned about not breaking things up.

What?

Nobody was concerned about you.

100%.

That's such good advice.

Like look out for number one here.

Yeah, look out for yourself.

I mean, yes, family's important.

Relationships are important, but you, your relationship with yourself, I am so like woo-woo right now, but it is the most.

And if like, also, you set a precedent with people being able, like with your boundaries, and you like have none.

If you're like, we're just going to like act like nothing happened.

It's like, oh my my God, girl, that is going to cut to you at 50 with like a martini at eight in the morning.

Like, you know, like, and all the pills.

It will eat you up.

Like, I promise you it will weird suggest you.

So deal with it now and know like, I mean, I know I'm like, who am I?

But like, I fucking have your back 110%.

Like, I'm pissed for it.

That's so sweet.

No, that's.

I'm curious for her.

I feel like this was a great submission for you because you kind of can speak to that experience.

Yeah, I can, like, listen, I, I definitely was suppressing that I was a lesbian, gay, whatever.

I had no inkling whatsoever.

And then when I met my now fiancé, I was like madly like horny in love with her.

And I was like, uh-oh, something's happening.

Exactly.

And that's when I was like, oh, yeah, checks.

I hated dick.

I like her, not dick.

I guess I am a lesbian.

But like, it can be, so I have an empathy for struggling with sexuality.

I've lived it, but like, I didn't

hook up with my

free pass to hurt other people.

Exactly.

It doesn't.

Okay.

So

I would love to hear an update if you work this out.

And I'm really wishing you the best.

On to our final submission.

Dear Claudia Ann Taylor, first of all, I listen to y'all every day.

Want to thank you for making my pregnancy during a pandemic more bearable.

My husband and I have been together for about six years now.

When we first started dating, I met his mom almost immediately and we totally hit it off.

There was some weird only child, only son stuff going on, but I didn't think much of it.

Well, I immediately, well, immediately after we we got engaged, she went full on bonkers, kept trying to plan everything, even tried to make our registry for us before we even set a wedding date.

I told her politely that I really wanted our registry to be a thing we did together as a couple.

And she called my husband asking if he was sure he wanted to marry me.

After the wedding, yeah, after the, I just read a book called The Mother-in-Law.

Like, it's too pertinent.

After the wedding.

I read it.

After the wedding, she sent me a text saying that I was passive aggressive and and manipulative.

She called to tell me that I would never come between her and her son, and I was selfish to think that my wedding day was only about me.

Oh my God, I'm so PTSD.

She also left me out of his grandmother's obituary, post-marriage, etc.

She's just the worst, but my husband consistently makes excuses for her, so I just try to grin and bear it.

Flash forward to this year, I'm pregnant and we're planning to move to a city two hours away for his job.

She naturally decides to leave her husband, not my husband's dad,

and move to the city as well, but said it had-she she said it had nothing to do with us.

One week after moving in, I hear from my husband's aunt that she is telling everybody that I am horrible to her and she wishes her son had married his ex-girlfriend.

Seriously?

What the fuck?

The weird thing is, she is consistently texting me nice things and asking if I want to hang out.

Her reasoning is that I never want to hang out with her, and that's why she said it.

My problem is that I cannot stop letting it consume me.

I talk and think about it all the time.

It's just so upsetting.

Of course.

And she wants to take care of my daughter.

And I'm trying to do the mature thing and let her when all she wants to

wait

I'm trying to do the mature thing and let her, when all of me wants to be withholding, help.

Yes.

Signed an obsessive toaster.

P.S.

Despite how it may sound in the letter, my husband is a precious gem of a man and very supportive.

He just wants us to find a middle ground.

Yeah, I mean, at the end of the day.

The relationship between a wife and a mother-in-law is 100% incumbent on the husband.

And a husband has to take that role of being the communicator,

the moderator.

Like,

he might be a precious gem of a man, but he has to take that role very seriously because the key to a successful relationship with your mother-in-law is having you tell your husband something or your partner and your partner telling the mother-in-law.

Like that's how it works.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, you know, no, no.

He sets the boundaries with her, not you.

And guess what?

You need more boundaries.

Yeah.

So again, I'm going to say, get couple therapist for real.

No, or just communicate openly.

Like, you need to have a full infrastructure in place.

Like, when you have a toxic mother-in-law, which I am so thankful, I have like an angel of a mother-in-law.

So I don't have advice per se, you know, from experience, but I do know that like when it comes to in-laws, never have direct communication, especially when it's like about something hostile.

I had toxic in-laws and I always say this.

I mean, there was other factors like me being a lesbian, but I really didn't know that.

I really didn't know.

I swear to God, I did not know that.

Like, Wesbund and I would have gotten divorced regardless of being with Taylor Donahue.

So that's the truth.

And like, I know his sisters love that I'm a big old Leslie because they get to be like, she was gay the whole time.

But the truth is, and I said to him when we got divorced, honey, we are getting divorced because i can't with your family and it's not about

i really said to him i didn't even know i was gonna hook up with a girl when we were getting a divorce you know but i just i really was like because i wanted him to know i was like this is not you but you need to find somebody who either your family fucking fully like adores and fits in with them or you need to start working on how you're not going to repeat the same mistakes that you made in this relationship.

Like, I understand.

I am so hard hit.

It's not like a mother-in-law, a sister-in-law, a father-in-law, it doesn't matter what-in-law, but a family member that's like toxic, it can be really hard on your relationship.

And again, you sound so amazing.

You know, you're sticking up for your husband.

And I, listen, my parents, my, my, my dad's, my paternal grandmother, my dad's mom was really mean to my mom.

I grew up watching it and my parents are still together.

So it's absolutely survivable.

Yes.

Even though I ran away like a little scared bitch.

But I will say it's, it is not easy.

And the fact that she moved, girl.

That's fucking, that's next level.

Like, that's like a level 10 mother-in-law issue.

He just needs to say to her, he needs to figure out a way to like get a receipt and then be like, mom, you can't talk about my wife like this.

She doesn't talk about you like this.

Yeah, and I'm sure he's friendly and supportive, but he has to be a little bit more,

I hate to use the word, but like confrontational.

And she'll, she'll respect it coming from him, but it's, she's made it very clear she doesn't respect you.

So

your husband is now in charge.

I'm sorry, but that's how it has to work.

She has to be, and yeah, he has to let it be clear that in order to be a part of your like family life, your nuclear family, she has to treat you with more kindness and respect.

And that's the bottom line.

And if she can do it, then it's all good.

And if she can't do it, then there's going to be problems.

It's really simple.

Balls in her court.

Wise words from Taylor Strucker.

Taylor lived.

By the way, that was dear toasters.

If you ever want to write in, feel free to email us, dear toasters at gmail.com.

We will always keep it anonymous.

Write in about anything.

We've had some weird ones.

And if you've written in and we've given you advice, send us an update.

We love hearing from you guys.

Taylor, I absolutely adore you.

You are the best.

Guys, if you enjoyed this episode, check out the Taylor Striker Show Monday through Friday, patreon.com/slash the Taylor Striker Show.

Um, I love you.

Thank you so much for being here, and I love you.

I hope you guys enjoyed this episode, and we'll see you tomorrow.

Jackie's back.

Bye.

Bye.