S4 Ep48: The Controversial Confrontation: Wednesday, March 17th, 2021

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Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the Morning Toast.

Happy Wednesday, also known as Hump Day.

Over here at the Morning Toast, Theo is obviously here.

Jackie is here.

Let the humping commence.

Let the humping begin.

Theo knew it was hump day.

He got his hair cut.

He's looking.

He's looking so stunning for hump day.

And it's just a beautiful, it's a beautiful way to celebrate.

We've got McPlant in the back.

I know, by the way, so I re-watched yesterday's episode.

And usually I don't re-watch the episodes because it's just like a reminder, like you are ugly.

And that's just like hard for me because I work so hard on my self-esteem and re-watching one episode, kerplunk.

Yeah.

But with our new rug and the daylight saving, like fresh sun, the sun has moved, and we have our McPlant.

I thought that I would watch yesterday's episode.

And first of all, we're hilarious.

And second of all, the plant like really elevates our style.

We are working on getting another one behind Jackie because I think...

Because now I'm jealous of your McPlant.

Like, remember when I had like a beautiful New York City view and you had smokestacks?

Oh, yeah, you know, this is what that is karma.

That's how I feel right now.

No, but like, the karma was from the original sin of you taking the good side.

Speaking of...

Our old studio, it is worth mentioning.

I was just on my time hop.

Happy one year anniversary, Jackie.

Today is the day we got evicted.

evicted.

Wow, stressful, stressful times.

But, you know, everything happens because, you know, someone made it happen and kicked you out.

No, no, no.

Here we go.

The phrase is, everything happens for a reason.

Yeah, I know, which is like, sure, you can say that in hindsight,

of course.

But it was frustrating then, but we're so much happier where we're at now.

I don't know how McPlant would have felt about like that old stifling environment.

So stifling.

But I'm glad that all of us are here.

We have four living organisms on the show.

A lot of our guests are taking, not guests, a lot of our listeners are taking bets on how long the plant stays alive.

And so we would just love any insight.

I've never had a McPlant before.

Like, I'm not, I've had fake plants.

I've never had a real one.

So all, it's by the window.

There's sun.

All help would be appreciated.

Yeah, we just have to water it.

And...

Like every day?

Yeah, and I believe it comes with instructions because Bloomscape is just on their stuff.

Like, Bloomscape was made for us.

Like, we're not McPlant experts, but we want to be.

This episode is not sponsored by McPlant, but the plant is.

This episode is not sponsored by McPlant, you're saying.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

By Bloomscape, but it is from Bloomscape, which is one of our new sponsors.

So if you're looking for a McPlant, you should go get one.

They have all different kinds of plants.

Before we dive in, because we have a busy show for you guys today, Jackie and I just wanted to take a moment and talk about what happened yesterday.

Just sending our love to our Asian American toasters and the Asian American community here in America.

What happened in Atlanta yesterday was so disgraceful and so disgusting.

So upsetting.

So upsetting and it's coming off the heels.

This is like, you know,

the 10th thing I've heard in the last week week about attacks on the Asian community.

And it's really, really scary.

And so we just wanted to send love to our Asian American toasters and just acknowledge how atrocious and painful the events of yesterday was.

Yeah.

Were.

Excuse me.

I agree.

Our hearts are with you and we're thinking of you.

Yes.

But here at the Morning Toast, we aim to...

Bring positivity.

We do.

And that's what we're going to try and do.

We're going to try.

We have the fast five stories you need to know.

I feel as though you need to know them.

Yes, very...

We have one story that I'm actually really excited to discuss, like a shift in gears for us.

And also we'll be recapping Real House Rise of Dallas.

I caught up yesterday.

I had you in the back of my mind saying this is manufactured and I look forward to chatting.

Yeah, I watched it last night as well.

Yeah.

I have a lot of thoughts and I look forward to sharing them with the group.

How was the rest of your day yesterday after you left here?

Morning joes.

Oh my God.

The rest of my day was pretty good.

I know, I know.

We're sitting here like big jokes.

Oh, sorry, sorry.

We have new merch shopping on Thursday, which we are wearing, and we just like were remiss, devastated, and heartbroken not to share it with you.

This is the beautiful, stunning, and smart collection.

Claudia is wearing the sweatpants.

I am wearing the crew neck sweatshirt.

I have a lot to say about this collection, so just look at my sweatshirt and then hear me out.

It's so beautiful, stunning, and smart.

It's so beautiful, stunning, and smart.

So, the material on these, I feel like we need to let people know, like, it's a lot more lightweight than what we've done in the past.

It's so spring

so comfortable.

The sweatpants are so comfortable.

So, we will be dropping sweatpants and the matching sweatshirt Which is what we're wearing separately now we have a crew nuck crew neck.

I love a crew nuck

crewnuck mug sticker phone case, which I have here.

I know you maybe caught a glimpse yesterday, but this is it um comes in every phone imaginable um iphone android all the cases it's also a really good case it's very protective it's the same kind of case we had for the how you dern ones um which i love and i just am obsessed with this bar mitzvah like 90s right it's just like bringing me back it's just such a positive vibe this

font and color.

I'm loving wearing it.

I feel like it's brightening up like my whole look.

I feel like it's like brightening up my face.

You know when you wear a color that like

elevates your look.

Yeah.

So that's how I feel about this.

It's dropping on Thursday.

That's tomorrow.

So

oh my god, that is tomorrow.

Huh.

Look at that.

So this is crew neck, sweatpants, long sleeve white shirt.

The sticker I already put on my computer.

I'm obsessed.

And I have my morning toast and my beautiful stunning and smart sticker.

So yeah, it'll be at shopmorning toast.com tomorrow.

And just make sure to get it so you can be as beautiful, studying and smart as we know you are.

Also, I'm wearing a size medium in the sweatshirt.

Love to see it.

I got a size medium in the sweatpants.

And I will say, I would recommend maybe sizing down because I think they're just, they're baggy, which like I personally love.

They're too.

But

they're a little bigger than what we've made in the past.

I'm wearing XL in both and very pleased with my purchase.

Okay, perfect.

That's good to know.

Yeah.

That is good to know.

So that'll be tomorrow and we'll keep, you know, we took some sickening photos and we'll keep posting those on our Instagram.

So make sure you're following the Morning Toast on Instagram at TheMorning Toast.

Right.

And also at shopmorning toast.com tomorrow.

We have tons of other merch up on the site.

So get your merch.

It's always a mood booster.

And it's always good.

Shout out to Lauren Elizabeth.

It's always a good time to shopmorningtoast.com.

It is.

And it's never too late.

Actually, sometimes things sell out.

Actually, no, a lot of the times it's too late.

Making it too late.

Because we're just like so in demand.

Okay, yeah.

So merch.

What else?

I didn't really do anything yesterday.

I watched The Real House Size of Dallas and I ordered Chinese food and it was so good.

And I have no regrets about my meal.

Oh, but I got hooked on thin stirs.

Are you familiar with the thin stirs?

I am.

And I can't believe that you are familiar.

Those are like one of those snacks that like seem healthy, but aren't.

It's like a Trader Joe's lie, you know?

And they had them at my Dwayne Reed and I was like really, really hungry.

And I knew like when I go to Dwayne Reed hungry, it's so dangerous because like I just buy everything.

And I was trying to like just get like a light snack.

And I know Olivia has thin stirs in her house, which means like they are kind of healthy because Olivia doesn't like have a lot of non-healthy things in her her house.

It's like fake healthy.

Yeah.

And so I bought it and I'm like, oh, they're going to be like gross, but like whatever.

They were so fucking good.

Like, oh my God, I'm obsessed.

And I bought three bags and I ate half of one and then I came into the kitchen and all the rest were gone because Ben ate all of them.

Wow.

Yeah.

So that's what it's like living with Ben.

Damn.

I

eat or be eaten.

I ordered the Smith last night.

So delicious.

And I've talked about those quarter pounder cookies before.

And last night I just took a whole one down.

Wow.

Yeah.

So good.

So, so good.

But I also went to to Live Method yesterday.

Like, they tortured me.

It was a torture fest.

So I guess I did earn it.

So I guess without further ado, you think?

We could jump right in.

I have a lot to say about a lot of things.

So we might as well get right into the fast five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

You?

Yes, you.

Do you remember when we used to say that?

Yeah, sometimes we do.

There's no, oh, sorry.

Today's, I just went right into it.

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Okay.

Oh, that's an I'm up.

Are you waiting for something?

I'm up.

It's your turn.

Okay, here we go.

First big story of the day sort of unfolded last night.

David Dobrik apologized in a new video after a woman accused a 2018 vlog squad member of rape.

So last night, David Dobrik posted an apology to his YouTube channel where he addressed rape and sexual assault assault allegations against former and current members of his vlog squad crew.

Dobrik, who is widely known for rarely addressing controversy, titled the video, which is two minutes and 30 seconds long, Let's Talk, and he turned off the comments and likes to dislikes ratio.

Let's talk.

Silence.

He said he wanted to address some conversations that have been going on online.

Earlier in the day, Insider published an investigation that included allegations from a woman who said that she was raped during the filming of a 2018 vlog squad video that was posted on Dobrik's channel.

She said that she was given alcohol by vlog squad members and became

intoxicated to the point of blacking out.

Then she said she was involved with in group sex with Domincus Zegliatis,

Dirty Dom, that she could not consent to.

Wow, I wouldn't have read that as dirty.

I would have said dirt.

Dirt.

Yeah, no, he's so disgusting.

Like,

he was the worst part of Vlog Squad.

And like, here's why, you know.

Yeah.

Also, in February, former Vlog Squad member Seth Francois spoke out and said that he was tricked into kissing Dobrik's right-hand man, Jason Nash, in a 2017 video.

Seth said it was non-consensual and was sexual assault as he was under the illusion he would be kissing model and influencer Karina Kopf, who would be wearing a mask rather than Nash, a 45-year-old man.

Yeah, so I think we should start at the beginning because like for the last year, first of all, David hasn't vlogged in a year, but there's been a lot of rumblings, mostly from Trisha Paytas.

and Ethan Klein, who have this podcast called Frenemies that's really, really popular.

Trisha Paytas used to date Jason Nash, and they broke up.

And ever since then, she's just like really, she's been like, she's been one of the few people on the internet talking about like her experience being a part of the vlog squad and how it was like so

toxic.

And for a while, she was like kind of like shouting into a void on her podcast, but she was like, and I understand she isn't always like the most reliable source because she has her own controversies and she was a part of the vlog.

So like, I think for a while, people just kind of disregarded what Trisha was saying.

But more people started to speak out in recent months, kind of corroborating the type of environment that Trisha was describing amongst the members.

First was Seth, who it's actually, I saw an episode of

Lawn Otter SVU that was really similar to the situation.

Like it happened in a frat house where what happened to Seth was like they blindfolded him and was like, Corinna, who's a member of the vlog squad, who's like this gorgeous Instagram model,

is going to kiss you.

And it ended up being Jason, who's 50 years old, a man, and kind of gross.

That's just my opinion.

So, and and it reminded me of this lawn order episode that i watched which is like it's like this assault gray area and it's like but but it is really really unethical um and so that story like kind of blew up and a couple of the vlog squad members because there's like 15 of them like they had made their own videos like addressing it like giving their own receipts kind of discrediting seth um but it never became like a major news story but there has been like all this momentum you know, people talking chatter online about David Dobrik.

And now this Business Insider article was kind of of the the big explosion to take the story like into the mainstream um and this girl who spoke up what she kind of what she alleged is that

Dom put on his stories they're always like filming with random people and they always like go to like colleges which it's like kind of weird now that like you think about it yeah um to like get like extras and like it's like scripted kind of but they play all these games and they just need like strangers that give away money um so we put on his instagram that like he needed girls and um the girl in the story whose pseudonym is hannah she

her friends are like were like obsessed with the vlog squad and we're like let's go let's go they need extras and they were like DMing with Dom being like we're coming we're coming and she didn't like know who any of these people were she didn't care but like she just wanted to be with her friends

And a bunch of members were there.

I think they said Jeff was there and Scott was there and they were like giving these underage girls alcohol.

And Tricia Paytas was there that night.

She spoke to Business Insider and she was like, I left when they were, all these guys were giving underage girls drinks because it just like felt really wrong to me.

And then the girl woke up the next morning and her friend was like, Oh my god, that threesome.

She's like, What?

Like, she didn't know, have any idea what her friend was talking about.

And she had asked, and like months, and then there's a video, they vlogged the whole night, right?

And a few months later, she sent Dom a text and was like, This whole, you know, long thing, very respectful, just being like, I feel so uncomfortable.

Like, I don't remember anything that happened.

I really feel like I was taken advantage of.

I don't want this video out there.

Like, can you please take it down?

Yeah, and they did.

Yeah.

So, I think people are not sharing the clip.

The clips of the video exist, but people aren't sharing it out of respect for Hannah.

But it's just like, it's, as most things are, it's very layered.

Yes, it is very layered.

And the pieces that I saw, especially the text messages that she sent to Dom were heartbreaking.

Like

imagining from her perspective, like she describes like waking up, not knowing what happened the night before, not being, wearing clothes, having thrown up in the house that she was in when she went home, her friends having sort of like...

Literally carried her out.

Right.

And then on top of that trauma, there be a video about it.

And then for months later, you have to reach out to the person who took advantage of you and ask them to take, like, the whole thing is so traumatic.

And

she's really brave for speaking out because

for up until now, like David Dobrik has been like beloved.

They say like he's the Jimmy Fallon of our generation.

Yeah.

Beloved.

So nobody wants to speak out against that.

Like it's an uphill battle.

It's a losing game yeah um and so i think she's really brave and it just

i'm not like

when i when i heard the story i was like surprised that it hit the mainstream but like i've just kind of been following this for so long and even when you watch the videos and i have been like last year i i've discovered the vlog squad and i was obsessed with the vlogs but there always was this like underlying weirdness like the way they were like

Just really inappropriate and like bullied each other.

There was like this you could even from the videos not being there like you could sense a toxicity like it was subtle And now, these stories coming out, like, they don't surprise me at all.

But what does surprise me is the response from David?

Because it was like so disappointing.

Yeah.

I mean, obviously, it was short.

Some of the quotes, he said, consent is something that's super important to me, whether I'm shooting with a friend or I'm shooting with a stranger.

I make sure whatever video I'm putting out, I have the approval from that person.

He said that he's no, he no longer films with Dom.

He doesn't like approve of that sort of

conduct.

He said, With the Seth situation, I am sorry to Seth.

I just want to make videos where everyone who's participating is enjoying and having a good time.

I missed the mark with that one and I'm really sorry.

I truly, truly am.

Okay, so here's what I didn't like about his video.

And when we talk about cancel culture, like, and I talk, I talked about this a lot in the book, like, this is not cancel culture.

These are crimes.

Right.

And so this is...

This is what we're always saying here.

And this is like the point I really tried to drive home in my book is like, because people are DMing me, like, are you going to talk about David?

Like, he doesn't deserve to be canceled.

Like, he's so nice.

And there's just such a big difference here.

Like, and I feel like his his response was a really shitty response for someone who had like tweets exposed like which is not a crime it's just like embarrassing and wrong and I don't feel like his response even matched even close to the level of what he's being accused of yeah and I just think like when we talk about cancel culture we really need as a society to separate the people who had tweets exposed and the people who committed actual crimes because we are lumping these people into like a cancel culture category and it's just not the same like one person had bad judgment and another person committed a crime yes i agree he also um said that i've been really disappointed with some of my friends and for that reason i have separated from a lot of them so he's like distancing himself from he's blaming it all on his friends right but also in the threesome video from what i understand and what i gleaned from um the article the article or the parts that i read which the article is now not behind a paywall they took it off they put it on business insider prime which is okay good like get your coin but like don't profit off of someone's trauma that's true and also there was one there was that version which i don't subscribe to business insider so i didn't read, but there was another version that was a lot of the story, but it was a preview.

Yeah.

But now they took it off the paywall.

So apparently there was also podcast audio where they talked about this threesome night and there was people who were going in and watching it to make sure that it happened.

Right to make sure Dom actually had a threesome.

His friends had to go check.

David's on Travis,

what's that?

Who used to date Madeline Petsch?

Who hosts Ghosted.

Yes, I know who he is.

It's his podcast.

Okay.

Is his name Travis Barker?

Or is that like the drummer?

I think think that's Courtney Kardashian's boyfriend.

Okay, whatever.

Travis Mills.

Travis Mills.

David went on his podcast and they're like chronicling the night.

David's like bragging, like, yeah, Don wanted to have a threesome.

We found some girls.

Like, we all had to go in and check.

And so he's there, like, filming the night.

Like, it's just the more you hear about the story, the more disgusting it is.

Yeah.

And so when we're talking about like, cancel, don't cancel.

No, like, this is the type of thing, like, cancel culture should be reserved for.

Like, not people who, you know, made a mistake like and said something wrong, but the person who did something morally depraved.

Yes.

And in these instances, and I, and,

of

sexual assault, there's, there's the abuser, and then there are the people who

bystanders who watch it happen, like, cheer on, like, it is, it, it, it's so, it's,

to be one of those people, like, you are not exempt from guilt whatsoever.

No, and it, that's literally what the premise of promising young woman is.

And it's like, this terrible thing happened at a medical school, and, like, all all the guys like who were in like the friend group just like stood and filmed.

Like it actually reminds me of it so much.

I forgot about that until right now.

I agree.

Like it's there's multiple people who are at fault here.

Yes.

Of course Dom.

Right.

So having no longer filming with Dom and not being associated with him anymore like that's not

that's not enough.

No.

No, and it's not lost on me how this video was two minutes and 30 seconds, which is incredibly short, was put on his views YouTube channel, which is brand new.

He has three YouTube channels.

David Dobrik, which I think has like 16 million, David Dobrik 2, which I think has like 11 million, and then this new one for his podcast.

So it was on the smallest one.

He released it at midnight, turned the comments off.

It was two minutes long.

Like, I just feel like

you might as well have not even said anything.

Like, that's fucking disrespectful.

Yeah, but I also, I don't know, I feel like that was a choice, you know?

Of course.

Of course, yes, it was a choice, but it extremely intentional.

Like, that's his thing to minimize.

Is the short videos I'm going to say something?

And we're expected to move on from it.

Just the more I think about this story, like it's so upsetting.

It's so my stomach.

It's so upsetting.

And especially now with what just happened in the UK with Sarah Everard and like women are just now speaking out about like how much women go through like just to like not get attacked.

Like what we wear, what we think, how we walk, what we say.

And so for this to come out while we're having these conversations, like women, especially on TikTok, like it's a huge trend to share to this Andre Day song.

And it's like so powerful to share like what I was wearing when I was assaulted um it's like we're having this conversation now and like this is what you're contributing yeah like this two-minute video like you said david dobrik is everywhere he's you know the biggest digital star period yeah and so knowing that so many people look up to him knowing that so many college kids so many people would really like would love to be in these videos and it just it's such an abuse of the position it's 100% and it's really upsetting.

Yeah.

And I just like, I can't stress enough like how this is not cancel culture.

No.

No, and it was like, because I got a bunch of DMs, like what are you going to say on the toes?

And like, people love him.

And it's hard to deconstruct like someone you look up to as being not what they say they are and not the vision of like the hero you imagine.

Because he builds a brand off of like giving away hundreds of thousands of dollars.

But like.

That doesn't mean you can create a toxic environment and do shit like this.

Like, but that's the image that is cemented of him in so many people's minds.

100%.

And if we, if our generation wants to be different from the generation older than us, the Harvey Wine scenes, you know, the Me Too movement did so much to expose these people.

And then so we have new people coming up.

And

in different ways, but extremely similar ways, they're doing the same thing.

Yeah, abusing their power.

Yeah.

100%.

It's so disappointing.

So disappointing.

So I'm curious to see what happens next.

Because at the end of the day, this is a full-blown crime and multiple people are guilty.

Like, is there going to be

a police?

Like, if there's a business insider investigation, is there a police investigation?

Where do we go from here?

Yeah,

I'm not entirely sure, but we'll keep you abreast.

Abreast.

Um, okay, ready for our next story?

Yes.

Emmanuel Acho is revealing the sit-down between Michelle and Rachel Kirkonne that never aired.

Okay, I saw this video on Emmanuel's Instagram

where he talked about his favorite conversation from the evening that was one in which we did not know even happened.

It did not even a sliver of it make air.

It was a conversation that took place between frontrunners Michelle Young and Rachel Kirconnell.

He said, TV time constraints limit you from broadcasting everything you desire.

My favorite part of the one-hour special that was not shown, actually, was talking to Michelle early on, and I could sense the heartbreak over her loss of a former lover in Matt, but I could also sense the despair over her loss of a former friend in Rachel based upon the photos that surfaced.

Now, Michelle had reached out to Rachel but had never heard back, and so Michelle was broken over that.

I sensed that over the course of our conversation, so during that next commercial break, I called an Audible.

I reached out to the producers via my mic and said, hey, we have to get Michelle and Rachel to somehow reconcile.

He said,

he recapped sort of the conversation that they had and said that it ended in a very uplifting sort of way where the two women

come back together.

He said, it was a beautiful depiction that I got to witness.

And for the sake of time, you did not, you all did not get to witness.

I could just think of so many things I didn't need to see on that three-hour finale.

And it's like, oh, we have time constraints now.

Why are we at three hours?

Right.

Oh, 100%.

There was time.

First of all, there's always time.

And I feel like the choice not to air this conversation that sounds to me was a lot about healing.

It's like, once again, the bachelor just like is missing the mark on what they can

contributing.

100%.

You know, like it, it was definitely an impactful conversation that would have

promoted that would have promoted healing, and especially in such a divisive time.

And that's been a divisive time within the franchise.

Like the franchise is literally imploding because the chris harrison stance and the rachel lindsey stance are at odds yeah and so that type of conversation could have been so healing so you uniting yeah whatever um could have united unifying whatever yeah thanks um and am i surprised that they didn't include it no am i disappointed yeah because like that's the message we should be sending like not more division people you know making mistakes forgiveness grace this word everyone grace grace grace grace like i would have loved to seen that conversation especially because that's what we literally said yesterday we were like, you know, what Michelle said about Rachel was super nice, and they are, they were obviously friends when you live in a house for so long with someone.

And like, we're, I just, that was missing.

I do, and I did feel like that piece of like, a lot of these girls do know Rachel.

What was their relationship with her?

How do they feel about everything that happened?

And I think that that would have been a big piece of this puzzle that would have made the special even better like.

And I love shady Emmanuel Acha like putting it on his IGTV because if we, if he didn't, no one would have ever known.

No.

And also, um i saw that brie had posted that um she was at after the final rose they cut her

she they cut her she didn't get to be she didn't get to be on women tell all apparently she filmed for after the final rose and she wasn't on this is just like the choppiest copy and paste season ever like but she was on vile files so if you want to hear from brie check it out yeah she did a podcast with nick but still like that's so bizarre and it's like all these actually interesting things got cut how did we end up with three hours of literal trash no two hours and 45 minutes of of trash.

Some of the 15 minutes between Rachel and Matt was interesting.

Yeah, no, two and a half hours, I would say.

Yeah, but like this, the message here is once again, like bachelor producers are so not in tune with what's necessary and with what

is good.

Yeah.

Okay.

Are you ready for our next story?

News, ma'am.

Demi Lovato is sharing everything in her new docuseries from

nearly dying to healing from sexual assault.

In the tell-all docu-series Demi Lovato Dancing with the Devil, which premiered at the South by Southwest Film Festival on Tuesday, viewers got an in-depth look at what really happened before, during, and after the singer's 2018 overdose.

From a detailed timeline of that terrifying July night to the trauma she's faced throughout her life, here are some of the most revealing things that

she

shared in her documentary.

She talked about her eating disorder, that it's a lifelong battle, but she's gotten much better.

She talked about dealing with bulimia and how she felt controlled when it came to what she ate and what she did for most of her career.

The docusaries introduces key people in her life, including Jordan Jackson, her personal assistant, who made the 911 call the morning after her overdose.

She talks about that night specifically and

the events of the night and how she was sexually assaulted by the heroin dealer who then left her to die.

She talks about all of the health issues that she suffered after the fact.

She talks about how she can't drive anymore because her eyesight is impaired.

She said it's akin to seeing sunspots and all of the permanent

damage from that night.

That's crazy.

I mean, I'm definitely going to watch a documentary.

And I don't think Demi Lovato's ever had a problem opening up.

Like she's always super honest.

But it really, like when you watch something in the news, like when we were reporting on that whole overdose, like you can't even imagine how much worse that it actually was than what we were hearing.

Right.

It's it's crazy.

It's crazy to read some of what she shares, and I'm sure this documentary will be extremely crazy.

Yeah.

And she has a new album coming out, and she has a song with Ariana Grande on it.

Did you hear that?

Yes, it's called her album's called Dancing with the Devil: The Art of Starting Over.

I saw that she has a song.

I love that already.

Yeah.

She should also write a book by that title.

Yeah, I do think that a documentary and a book, especially if you're the subject of your own documentary, it's the same thing, just like a different medium.

Yeah.

And I'm sure one day she will write a book.

And so it's a YouTube one, right?

right?

I think so.

YouTube really nails the

celebrity documentaries.

Speaking of YouTube, something we didn't talk about, I'm wondering if you watch New Haley Bieber YouTube channel.

No, I didn't, but I have been meaning to.

Yeah, though, who's in my bathroom?

Yeah.

She has Kendall.

Kendall's in her bathroom.

Yeah, I haven't seen it yet, but I did see some clips on TikTok going around, like, making fun of her because she was like, this really solves the problem when like you want to do a face mask, but your significant other, like, like, she was just like talking about like a relatable problem that like literally doesn't exist.

And like the kids on TikTok were fucking roasting her.

They, you can't get away with anything.

They're savvage.

Okay, ready for our next story?

Only if it's brought to you by nuts.com.

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Okay, next up is a little sleep news.

Okay.

Google's new Nest Hub is a smart display that tracks your sleep sleep quality.

Does Google own Nest like the regular Nest?

Does it?

I don't know.

I don't know.

It would be weird if they had the same product and name.

Right.

So

Nest Hub has the same design as its predecessor, which I guess is Nest.

It's a seven-inch touchscreen display, but it will track your sleep.

So, but like, use it, you don't have to wear anything.

Like using your breathing and like moving patterns, like these really small.

Where do you put it?

Like I guess you would put it on your nightstand.

It's Google's latest smart home device and it will be able to monitor your sleep patterns.

That is not too innovative in and of itself, except that Google has figured out how to do it without a camera or any kind of wearable device.

The new Nest Hub comes with a function called sleep sensing that uses low-energy radar to monitor the breathing, movement, and even the snores of the person sleeping next to the hub.

The technology will learn your sleep patterns and provide personalized recommendations for how to get better shut eye.

Here's the thing.

And we live in this age of information, data, data.

Also, I just want to add, before you talk about data, Google says the data it collects will not be used for ads.

Oh, famous last words.

You know, I'm sleep talking in my sleep about like nuts.com, and all of a sudden, targeted ads.

No, or they're like, while you're sleeping and they know you're in a deep REM cycle, they start playing ads that like infiltrate your sleep.

That's like Josie and the pussycats.

Yes, I think that this is a level of intrusion with technology that I'm good without.

But I also just like, I'm the queen of sleep.

Wait, well, here's my thing.

It's like, we live in this age where like you can just know like your heart rate at any minute.

And I just feel like certain data is none of my business like i sleep fine like i just i don't know i don't need to know that much i don't need to know how many steps i took i don't need to know my heart rate like i don't need to know how many hours i snored and like what did i say in my sleep like some things are just not my business yeah i agree like humanity has gone on for so long without us knowing.

Cavemen didn't know if their partner was sleep talking.

Like we're fine.

No, or without like a tracking to track my breathing while I sleep.

Usually on nights where I sleep badly, I can probably pinpoint why that is.

Yeah.

So, of course,

I think this is a little extra.

No, and there's definitely some people who are like obsessed with their data, like Fitbit, Apple Watch,

I will disagree with you on the steps part, even though, like, I've none of my business.

It doesn't really change anything.

And I also think there was, there was some information that came out after Fitbit was so ubiquitous that it was actually causing weight gain because people were attributing these steps to like calories burned more so than you were always burning those calories.

And so people were like sort of using that as exercise when it wasn't.

No,

when it wasn't new exercise.

That would have been me.

Right.

So

I agree with your thesis, but I do, I do, but I also do get sort of step crazy sometimes.

And then I like find myself like just wanting to hit these benchmarks, but like for no reason.

Yeah, no, and honestly, like as someone who doesn't move a lot, like I just don't need that kind of negative reinforcement.

Like, oh, you only walked 500 steps today.

Like, that's none of my business.

But sometimes it's super interesting.

Like, you know, on a day where you literally didn't leave your bed, like, and that shows.

And then also sometimes when we used to go to like Coachella.

stage coach when we got lost at stagecoach and we got lost and then we would go home and we're like oh my god we did 20 000 steps yeah no it's like okay it's an interesting factoid but like i don't i'm not one of those people who like you know their whole day like revolves around their apple watch you know yes i do i do know that about you okay um our fifth and final story is from an uh i don't think i've ever read an article from this publication before.

The American Kennel brand is sharing the most popular dog breeds of 2020.

Oh my God, tell me Cavaliers are on there.

I didn't even, I did a quick scroll and I didn't even see it.

Like I

thought we were influential.

Number one, and this is the same as it's been, Labradors.

Which labs?

The big labs, you know.

Golden Retriever.

Yeah, like

Archie, Shannon, the doors are.

No, that's a golden retriever.

Isn't that a good one?

Is there a picture?

No, it's just a list.

Come on, we know what a lab is.

I think you can have a golden lab.

A yellow lab or a black lab.

A yellow lab.

I'm just going to look it up really quick.

A Labrador retriever.

You know, it's like Airbud.

Ring.

That is a golden retriever.

Okay, so you don't know.

Retrievers.

Labrador retriever is what it's called?

Yes.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, really?

These are the most popular.

But also, but golden retrievers are number four, so there is a difference.

Golden retrievers are fucking cute, but I do wish like golden retrievers...

There were some, like a breed of golden retrievers that stayed the size that they are when they're puppies, because they're so cute.

I would get one of those, but I don't have enough space for an enormous dog.

Yeah, plus you've already got Theo.

Oh, yeah, what's number two?

Number two, French Bulldogs, which they're moving up the rank.

Really?

I feel like after what happened to Lady Gaga and like how valuable they are in the black market, they would be moving down.

Well, I think that what happened to her showed that

it shows that

they're so desirable.

Yeah, but with desire

comes danger.

That's true.

So maybe now they'll go down next year.

This was 2020.

Okay.

Number three, German Shepherds.

Let me just double check that I know what they're, all these dogs are the same to me.

German Shepherd.

Okay.

Oh, really?

German Shepherd's big.

You know what?

I need to stop talking about dog breeds in a negative light because we all remember what happened with Lily Reinhart Gate 2020.

Yes.

But don't worry, top 10, I think you're okay.

Number four, golden retrievers.

Number five, Bulldogs.

Okay.

Number six, poodles.

Number seven, Beagles.

Number eight, Rottweilers.

Number nine, German short-haired pointers.

And number ten, the Dachshund.

Ooh.

And they just cracked top 10 for the first time, Dachschund.

And I just want to say, like, I do think it's related to the choice.

To the trust, yeah.

100%.

I'm just going to keep my mouth shut because obviously I think some of those dog breeds are cuter than others, but I've learned not to mess with the dog breed community.

People feel really passionate about their breed of choice.

Of course.

And that's how we feel about King Charles.

Right, but like, if I saw someone on a podcast saying like King Charles are ugly, I would literally come to their house.

I would literally not care.

That's what.

No, of course not.

Because, yes, of course.

I would just be like, I disagree.

Yeah, no, because we live in America where you can go on your podcast and say whatever you want.

And if someone doesn't like it, they can just leave.

They don't have to announce that they're leaving.

But they will.

And BuzzFeed will write it up and

spread lies about you and your family.

Try to make you into a murderer.

In America.

Yeah.

Okay, I just scrolled down all the way to 195 and I don't see King Charles Catholic or Shakespeare.

You know what?

That's good because like we're unique.

But yes, but it also maybe means like maybe we're not that influential.

No, I mean that's been the cold hard truth for a long time.

Maybe I missed it, but I feel like I would

see it.

Disgusting.

I know.

Fuck the American Kennel Society.

Yeah.

Dot com.

Though interesting.

I did think that was interesting.

Yeah, no, that is.

What was number one?

Golden Lab Rador?

Lab Rador Retriever.

Got it.

Okay.

I guess it's just like, that's the reinforcement that I needed.

Like, I'm so unique.

Like, I really feel like I'm not like other girls, you know?

No, I would say you're not like other girls.

Definitely not.

Okay, so let's dive into TV recap, the Royal House Was of Dallas Snooze Fest 2021.

Last night, okay, I just have something to say before we start.

I feel bad for Tiffany because she's just like, obviously, like a different type of girl, you know, which is not a crime, but she's like having trouble getting along with everyone because she's like kind of a wet blanket.

Okay, I have a totally different perspective.

In the last two episodes, I really related to Tiffany.

Like her wanting to be, I don't think I'm so similar to her, but I understood that feeling that she got when she jumped into the lake and was like, this is not who I am.

I'm doing this for other people, but like, what about what I actually like or don't like to do?

And this is not one of those things to jump into a lake when you don't swim.

In your own clothes.

In your own clothes, it's like you're really trying to make it work with this group.

The group is very pushy.

Yeah, and she, she hit her breaking point.

And I completely understood and related to that.

And even though, like, oh my God, and when she started crying in her room and everyone started coming in, and I was literally like, leave.

Yeah.

She just needed a minute alone maybe with one friend just to sort of vent but she and someone said like I think it was Stephanie she was like every day that we've been here like it's been something for like that we for her that we have just like sort of piled onto Tiffany and like she hit her breaking point and I feel like on those group trips I can a hundred percent relate to that then I also felt like with Tiffany by the end of her birthday party I really started to feel like I understood who she is.

And it's funny because I think someone else said like, we thought you were like so cool when you came in.

I feel like when she came in, I thought that too, where it's like she's almost too cool for these girls.

But it's actually the opposite where it's like she has a hard time fitting in.

She's never really had great girlfriends.

And I really finally feel like I understand her and I really, really like her.

I definitely feel like I understand her too.

She's not like, I'm, if I was in that group, like I would be like a Deandra and a Carrie.

Like I'm an insane pusher.

I push people.

I'm a drug pusher.

You know, like that's just what I do.

But I feel like I would be like a Cameron where it's like I have boundaries and I know how like wearing a bathing suit under my dress.

Cameron struggled.

Right.

Cameron struggled in the beginning to set those boundaries.

And I think that's important.

It's like, I want to have fun with everyone.

I want to get outside of my comfort zone, but there are things that I won't do.

And everyone needs to respect that.

And now they do respect that about Cameron.

Yeah.

Tiffany just gets there.

She needs to get there.

She started with only boundaries, then she took away all the boundaries and she felt like not herself.

She'll find that memory.

I completely agree.

I think she's very similar to Cameron in a lot of ways because like a few seasons ago, Cameron never would have jumped in the lake.

But now she like knows the girl.

She brought her bathing suit.

Yeah.

she's jumping in the lake but the thing with tiffany that i'm really struggling with is for a first season housewife she's giving us a lot of like personal like family stuff work stuff and i totally like empathize for the struggle of working moms.

Like I'm not downplaying it at all, but like on a reality show, I really don't care.

Okay, well, that's on the producers.

I'm sure all of the women filmed equal amounts of time at home and they chose her storyline.

I'm going to assume it's because it was more interesting than the others.

I guess.

You know, I mean, to me, that's even though it's like a lot of personal storyline from a new housewife, I think it's more interesting than Deandra like finding her brother.

Oh, for sure.

But I just like, but the thing is, like, we know Deandra.

Like, I'm willing to put up with that because I've known Deandra for years now.

But, like, with Tiffany, and we always say this, like, when a new housewife comes on and like, you know, gives us so much personal backstory, like, we don't care yet.

Yeah.

We don't know you.

Yes, I agree.

But I wouldn't blame Tiffany for that.

I would blame the producers.

Her birthday party.

The party looked really fun, even though, like, it was not Moroccan-themed, aside from the fact that they were just sitting on pillows.

But other than that,

it was like a kid's birthday party with balloons and swings.

It was, but she was so touched by it.

And I like, I really feel like this group of women are true friends.

And when they're having like genuine moments, and for them, it's like, Are we gonna, it's not just like we're gonna be fine for the show, it's like we're either gonna be friends or we're not gonna be real friends, which is so much better because, like, when a franchise starts and like the women haven't seen each other since the reunion, it's so stupid.

Yeah, so I

didn't agree with you that the drama was manufactured, I know, but I did feel like it was trivial.

No, and also like pulling shit out of thin air.

Like when Brandy, like just randomly at dinner, was like, I'm uncomfortable around you.

Like it was just like not real.

Yes.

But I also felt like everyone did a really good job of being like, Brandy, that's on you.

Yeah.

And like, what are you talking about?

Yes.

And also like when Brandy, like with the pills on the boat.

That's exactly what I was referring to.

Like what?

Yeah, we're reaching here.

But I don't think that's manufactured because Brandy's just comes off really bad in those moments.

And Brandy's just like going through stuff, especially yesterday.

Oh, yeah, we need to talk about there's a video.

I was going to post it on our Instagram, but then I'm like, that is just, I know they're like celebrities, but she's like, feels really disrespectful.

I agree.

Brian, someone caught a video of Brian in a club.

Like, Brian, like, making out with a woman who's clearly not Brandy, as she has a whole arm of tattoos.

Like, Brandy looks different here.

Yes.

It's really sad, but there's been rumors about them for a while.

I know, but there's a difference between rumors and a video.

It's bad.

It's bad.

And she just gave birth.

Uh-huh.

But she, oh, right.

So it just made me really sad.

I know.

And we're not going to get clarity because she's made it pretty clear she's not coming back to the show, which I think is best since there is so much going on in her personal life, but it just leaves us wondering.

Yeah, it does.

Maybe he'll address it at the reunion, Andy.

Yeah, and I just want to say there's a difference between rumors and a video, Teresa Judice.

100%.

Rumors and photos.

But I'm not caught up on Jersey, so maybe I'll change a heart.

No, you won't.

The only other thing that happened, two other things that happened was, and I'm not Christian, so I can't decide whether being a shaman is demonic or and whatever.

But the only thing I didn't really like, because like I grew up in a religious like setting, and there's a way to like have discussions about religion without being condescending.

And, you know, if you grew up in a religious setting, like, you know, that one girl in your grade who was just like so obnoxious, like, really?

You listen to music on Shabbos?

Like, shut the fuck up, Sarah, you know?

Yeah.

Um, and I felt like Brandy was being like a little bit of a Sarah.

Like, you don't have to agree with Deandra's choices, but like, don't be so condescending.

Yeah, I felt like her delivery and choice and time and place was all wrong.

If that's a real conversation you want to have with Deandra, like like not at a birthday party when everybody's drinking.

But she got all lit up after Mama D was like, she felt like

she felt validated in how she was feeling.

She probably would have never said it, or I don't know, I don't think she would have said it if she didn't feel like, oh, how I feel about that, Mama D agrees, I'm going to bring it up.

Well, we're actually going to get through to Deandra.

Yes, I agree.

She was coming off as judgmental.

And I think next week when Deandra calls her a cafeteria Christian, because it's like you just pick and choose

what you want to live by, I think it'll be an interesting conversation.

But like for me, like when I signed on for the Real Houses of Dallas, like that's the exact type of conversation I was looking for.

Like

conversations between sisters and Christ.

Deandra, you're my sister in Christ.

And like I just feel like, you know, leaning on anything besides the word of God, like it's just demonic.

Like that's what I'm fucking looking for.

And I was like, yes, this conversation is everything.

And even though the shaman was so weird, like the fact that the shaman does extensions, like it was so stupid.

And when they were all like singing, I was literally chanting that the whole night afterwards.

I couldn't get it out of my head.

And it was weird, but like, whatever works for Deandra works for Deandra.

Like, I don't like when people are all like, you know, yucking other people's yums, even though I do that all the time.

I totally, totally agree.

And, like, to have, to see Jennifer say, like, thank you so much for that.

This is the perfect day.

Someone was impacted.

It's all about what you get out of it.

You know,

it's completely subjective.

The episode ended in the weirdest way where basically like Deandra and her mom had this huge blot fight because Deandra was just trying to like make a point to someone.

She was like, Mom, why did I change my name from Calloway to Simmons?

And she was expecting her mom to say one thing, but her mom was like, because you knew Simmons would get you further.

And that's probably true but I don't know if Deandra would have asked her mom on the spot for an answer if you know what I mean like yeah Simmons definitely does get you in the door like I don't know what Simmons means in Dallas but it means even on this show it's like she's Deandra Simmons and that means a lot to the women whereas like if she is Deandra Calloway and but her stepfather Simmons like it's just it's it's two degrees of separation right and I think the point she was trying to make was that like even though you know

Glenn Simmons was her stepfather, he was really a father to her.

And so she wanted to be his kid.

And I think that's a point she was trying to make.

And then Mama D was like, no, because you wanted to get your foot in the door.

Yeah, that was really crazy.

I obviously didn't know that.

I never thought about it.

I didn't know she changed her name.

Did you know that?

Yes, because I knew that her and her mom have the same last name, but her mom's husband wasn't her.

biological father.

Oh, I never put it all together.

So that was like a whole, and I guess then Cameron was explaining that's something that she feels like insecure about in the community.

I feel that.

Yeah, I feel that.

And then her mom just like validated.

Blew it up.

Yes.

So her mom have like the weirdest fucking relationship.

No, I know.

It got so crazy.

And Mama D like knows exactly what she was saying.

She's also called.

Sandra was so drunk.

They all were.

They all.

And then when they sat on that swing, like, of course they were going to fly back to her.

So you really can't be having like conversations about like.

Family.

Family and Christ.

Like when, or you can, it's just going to be like extremely heated and emotional.

Yeah.

But all in all, like, it was a better episode.

I thought just the Austin episodes were really bad when like trip episodes should be the best.

Yeah, but I did think that the trip looked pretty fun.

Gotta stay at that house.

So sickening.

So sickening.

Like, I think we need a Lake Austin weekend.

Yeah.

Also, Mama Dee talking about how she hunted.

She stalked and pursued her husband was like...

That's the type of thing you just like keep to yourself.

For sure.

But like, she's

so she is.

You know what I mean?

And Cameron being like.

I don't know if that's what we should be telling young women.

Like it was just hysterical.

It really, really was.

And then tonight is Jersey.

I had to catch up on all the...

Jersey's really good.

Oh, you caught up?

Yeah.

Oh, okay.

I caught up with Brian.

We watched it on vacation.

It was so good.

I mean, it's, I feel the same way every season.

Like, it's so good, but I cannot watch one more minute of Teresa Judice because I'm going to throw my TV out the window.

Yeah.

That's how I've been feeling.

But I do believe that this week,

tonight's episode, everyone is finally in the same room.

Okay, I will I'll be caught up.

We'll recap it tomorrow.

Looking forward to it.

Yes, and that is all she wrote.

Do we have deer toasters?

Oh, fuck.

Sorry.

Yeah, totally forgot.

Dear Toasters is our weekly advice segment since it is Wednesday hump day.

We are going to be doing Deer Toasters, where you can write into deertoasters at gmail.com anything, anything you want to tell us.

We will read it anonymously.

We will change people's names.

You have a quandary you need our advice on?

Head over to deartoasters at gmail.com.

First up, hi, Claudia and Jackie.

My best friend recently turned me onto your podcast, and safe to say, I'm obsessed.

I listen to you every day when I walk my dogs, and it's truly everything of the sort.

Thank you.

I need your advice on something.

I have a group of friends that I I used to work with that I see a couple times a month for happy hours and brunches.

We all went our separate ways work-wise, but still remain a fun group of friends.

We started a tradition a while back that for everyone's birthday, we all pitch in and get the birthday girl a cute gift, a gift card, bottle of wine, something like that.

Well, they have not gotten me something two years in a row.

Last year I was in California visiting my parents and brushed it off trying to be the bigger person and not be so greedy.

This year rolls around and nothing.

I'm still trying not to be a greedy little bitch.

I didn't say anything.

I didn't want to make a big deal about it or sound like an asshole because I know they they would feel so bad.

Now we have someone's birthday coming up in the group, and I don't know what to do.

A part of me doesn't want to contribute because it kind of hurts my feelings that they have forgotten me two years in a row.

But my better half is saying contribute because you're a good person who would give without expecting anything in return.

I struggle with that though.

Would love your advice on this one.

Signed the birthday snub.

That's really tough.

I think it's important to give in general without expecting anything in return, but that's not what this is.

Don't you dare contribute to that fund ever again.

Really?

That's how these things work.

Yeah, but I feel like it could just be like a bad coincidence that two years in a row, like she was away and then COVID, like, could it just be a coincidence that you got forgotten?

No.

Well,

you're going to make a fight here and like then things are going to be awkward.

So you have to be prepared to do that.

No, I don't.

Don't chip in for the group gift.

That's because that's, you're being taken advantage of.

If you want to get this girl a gift separately, be like, I'm clearly out of the fund because I have been out of the game.

That's a good thing.

I've been forgotten two years in a row.

So this is my personal gift to you.

No, that's don't be like walked all all over and forgotten.

That's not like if I just was forgotten twice.

Are you okay?

No, that's like so messed up.

It's like every, I just, that's not how this works.

That's not how any of this works.

But I like the idea of getting your own gift, being like, oh, so I'm clearly not a part of this like trade anymore.

So I'm just going to get my own gift.

Yeah.

Okay.

Don't do it.

And, but sometimes it's just like worth the price of admission just to pay so you don't have to make it awkward.

Like I'm so controversy.

I'm so confrontation averse, not controversy averse.

I'm actually very controversial.

I don't know.

I think if two years in a row your friends forgot your birthday, you'd be knocking on controversy's door.

No, contra.

Contraband.

Confrontation.

Confrontation.

Yeah, no.

I was like, no, I definitely get...

You talk about that.

I get controversy a lot.

I don't get confrontation a lot.

Controversy knocks on your door.

Every day.

Knock, knock, go away.

Okay.

So good luck with that.

Good morning, Steens.

I'm in need of some dire advice.

So I've been seeing this guy for about a month and a half.

We hang out all the time, get along really well, and I think it could be something really serious eventually.

Key word is eventually.

Today I was dropping him off at the airport.

Oh wow.

As any good non-girlfriend, wannabe possible girlfriend would do.

We hugged to say goodbye and I said, love you.

I said, fucking love you.

I wish I could verbalize the level of fear I saw in his eyes as he got out of the car.

I tried to backtrack, but I was fucked.

Immediately when I drove away, I texted him basically laughing at myself.

To be fair, I hadn't had my coffee yet, have dropped off a ton of family and friends at the airport recently, and truly like think it was like a weird airport goodbye reflex.

You don't have to explain it.

That's something that would happen to me.

I say love you and I'm like making a reservation.

I used to say love you to my teachers.

Like, yeah.

Let me be very clear.

I do not love him.

I'm still trying to figure out if I could even date him.

Here's where I need your help.

What do I do now?

I think I totally scared the shit out of him and I don't want to mess this up because I really care about him.

Do I continue to just do my thing, never speak of it again, bring it up and try to explain myself or just move away and start my life over again?

Sincerely, a girl who didn't have her coffee.

I think you just communicate.

Like we like, I literally dropped my mom off at the airport last week.

It's just a reflex.

I like you, but like we're not there yet.

And it was a total accident.

Yeah, I think you can communicate it too.

Obviously, the temptation to like run away and start all over again is so tempting.

And you know what?

I would support you.

But like, this is such a not big deal.

And I, I, I feel like it's, it's like a cute thing.

And I think you, if he's, if he's meant to be, like, he will laugh this off with you, you know?

Yeah, no.

And by the way, like, can we just talk about for a second how embarrassing it is to like say love you like at the wrong time, like, yeah, to a waiter or like a teacher?

It is so horrifying.

Yeah.

So I would just, like, next time you're talking on the phone, don't put anything like in writing because it can be translated wrong.

FaceTiming, be like, by the way, I didn't mean it in any serious way.

Like, I just.

It was a reflex.

It's a reflex.

I say it to everyone.

Like, don't

freak out.

And just make it like lightning.

It's not that special.

Yeah, we just feel like we're lost.

I say it to everyone.

Yeah, I just have my plumber, my landlord, my boss.

And you.

And you.

So you're just one of many, John.

All right, final one.

Hi, Claudia and Jackie.

Please help.

I'm having major drama with my sister that I can't seem to resolve.

My sister is my best friend.

She's about four years older than me.

But I'm doing a lot of things before her.

For example, I graduated college at 22 and her at 28.

I got my first job at 23 and her at 29.

I've been in a long-term serious relationship for six years and her one and a half.

I am recently engaged and will now be getting married in a year.

Since this, things have gotten so weird between us.

I am 26 and she is 30.

My fiancé and I openly talk about buying a house soon and having kids shortly after getting married.

My sister is having a hard time being happy for me.

She's my maid of honor and I feel like she doesn't want to be involved in my wedding.

When I ask her for help with something, she has excuses and whenever I talk about anything wedding related, she seems weird.

I understand she might be bitter, but I need her to be happy for me.

We recently had a little argument that got out of hand and she proceeded to tell me that I shouldn't be getting married and that my fiancé and I have a horrible relationship.

Yes, we argue and bicker here and there, but just as any other couple does.

I now feel like when I do have relationship problems or want to just vent, I can't go to my sister because she'll hold it over me or judge my relationship.

How do I fix this?

I can't control how my life is moving and I just want her to accept it.

Her time will come.

That's tough.

That's really tough.

So I think there's a few things.

Up until you said that like she has says she has issues with your fiancé.

I, I mean, I can't like you got married before me, you got married before Olivia, like everything happens in its time.

And so I really can't relate to, to just being upset about that part.

But if she is also having concerns about your fiancé, yeah, then it becomes tough.

You don't want to share everything.

But I do think

it's like you have a hard time discerning, are these genuine concerns?

Are you just like lashing out?

Cause like we're

ahead of you.

Right.

So I think that one, it is important, like, and it's kind of shitty, but like every time you have an issue with your significant other, you can't keep going and telling the same person, especially because it, as humans, we tend to only share the negatives.

And then when things are good, it's like, no news is good news.

And you don't share anything.

So she's like, wait, but all these things just happened.

And so it is hard that you sometimes you like when you're going through it, like either maybe spread out how many people you're talking to about something or you sometimes you just have to like deal with it internally.

But I would maybe like take her to lunch and have like a big conversation.

Sometimes in families, like you just got to talk about something, get to the root of it.

And maybe what she, her hesitations are something completely outside of both of these things right and maybe you're perceiving it as like her being bitter but maybe she's like actually a like dealing with something on her own like maybe she could use a sister to talk to about or maybe she has genuine concerns like i wouldn't just i wouldn't assume so quick even though she probably is like bitter i wouldn't assume so quick that it's like she's 30 and you're 26 and she's good and you're getting married therefore she's like because it's not like a

sisterly thing no and also that's not even that big of a deal like she's 30 and she's also in a relationship like it it doesn't seem like that would be the whole thing Um,

so I would just try and talk to her about it.

And also, if it is like she has concerns about your fiancé, you need to show her, and he, if he's the man that's obviously listen to her concerns, but if you think that her concerns are unfounded, show her a different side of him, maybe double date, like show her what you see in him

and not just you know, venting to her about all the fights he got into.

But this is a

a relationship worth working on salvaging, of course.

So I wouldn't let it go, you know, unspoken for too long and because those things fester, and then that's how you end up, like, you know, 50 years old and haven't spoken to your sister in 10 years, you know, which is terrible.

No, like, you guys are stuck together for better or for worse as it should be.

So figure it out.

It'll be awkward, but then, like, when you fight with your sisters, like, it's awkward for a second, and then you get over it.

It's so true.

So, yeah, that was Dear Toasters.

I feel like good advice was sold out more by Jackie, but deartoas at gmail.com.

You've read them beautifully.

Thank you so much.

You chanted your Haftorah beautifully.

If you want good advice from Jackie and me to make jokes about you, email deartoasters at gmail.com.

We are open to all sorts of queries.

We are.

And now,

that's all she wrote.

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Yes.

Have a great day, you guys.

Happy hump day.

Don't forget to hump someone you love.

We'll see you tomorrow.

Bye.