S4 Ep49: Go Home Shorts: Thursday, March 18th, 2021

Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the Morning Toast.

Happy Thursday.

We're not quite there, but it's Thursday.

We're somewhere, not there, but almost there.

But this Thursday is unlike any Thursday, and it's a very special day because our new merch just dropped this morning.

Shopmorning Toast.com.

Get your beautiful, stunning, and smart collection merch.

It is beautiful, stunning, and smart.

It really, really is.

Shackie and I are wearing everything from the collection.

I'm wearing the crew neck in a size extra large.

It is a different material.

If you bought the Hayadurn or the Redheads, it's a much lighter crew neck and I love it.

I'm wearing an XL.

Jackie wears it in a medium.

Yes, and today I am wearing the long sleeve crewneck t-shirt and so that's even lighter than the sweatshirt and I'm also wearing the sweatpants in a size medium.

But like I said yesterday, I might size down in these sweatpants because they are less fitted than what we normally have put out.

We usually do like a fitted jogger and so I like those to be a little baggier.

But these these are i'm just like extremely short and it was time for a small for me so if you've been dying to just relive your bar mitzvah days here you are here you are it's really like taking me back to a wonderful time of life me too and i love to see it also i think it's the comfiest stuff we've ever stopped like i want to wear this around my house all the time but i don't want to stain the white you know and like yeah bruno comes in he's like all cone cona fide and jumping around like ruining the white so i have to protect it it's actually really funny like what memories people associate with this particular style of font For me it's obviously like bar mitzvah giveaways like you had a little spray paint during the cocktail hour but for a lot of people it's the state fair.

Yes I saw those comments.

So I just find it interesting like what people's point of reference is for this font because for me it's bar mitzvahs.

Yes.

No, it's

it's so interesting.

No, and it's like we're all just connected like through this font.

We are this font is really connective.

Connects our generation like from all over the country all over the world.

I totally agree and it can connect with you at shopmorning toast.com.

Very well done.

We also have mugs.

By the way, this mug, if you got the Redheads mug, you'll recognize the size.

It's like a, it's an oversized mug.

It's the best size mug possible.

If you're into mugs, you know what I'm saying.

And if you just want to like cuddle up with your blanket and your big mug.

If you're into mugs, it's the mug for you.

We also have phone cases.

So beautiful, stunning, and smart.

Comes in almost every phone size imaginable, Android and iPhone.

And we also have stickers.

So make sure to

slap one of those bad boys on your skateboard.

Or your computer, like most normal people.

I'm putting it on my skateboard.

I actually had a skateboard when I was in college.

It was a penny board.

And you couldn't put stickers on it because the material wouldn't stick.

I think I'm doing like whole Marvin the Martian.

Yeah, because

no way.

I love Marvin the Martian.

I do Marvin the Martian.

Great reference.

We love that.

Thank you, thank you.

We have a fabulous show, obviously.

I left my house last night and I hit the town.

And I have to say, the town hit me right back.

Good.

Yeah, I...

You needed that.

I got into a fight.

Well, I heard.

I didn't really get into a fight.

I just kind of like let someone fight with me.

You let someone like make a snide comment to you and then you didn't pick up on it until too late.

Yeah, and it was just like, so I was in the waiting, okay, I went to the bathroom at this restaurant, this like lounge, that it's a very confusing bathroom.

And if you've had a few drinks, it's really dark, it's all a mirrored hallway.

Like you can walk into a wall.

It's like a very confusing bathroom.

And there was one girl waiting outside like a bunch of the stalls.

And I was like, are you waiting for the bathroom?

And she was like, yeah.

I'm like, oh, you sure they're all full?

Because it's a confusing bathroom.

And she's like, no, I'm just waiting here for fun.

And I like took one second to be like, is she being like a fucking bitch?

And she was.

And before I, like, before I even knew she was being a bitch and like had something to say, like a whole minute had passed.

So like it would have been really lame of me to like come back with a retort 60 seconds later.

But I was just like disappointed in her because

I really feel like after all we've been through as a city, like we should really be more supportive of one another.

And now like we're re-emerging like we should be celebrating yeah you would think so but i don't know where you've been because that's not the that's not the end what happened to new york sean like what happened to all this shit no it's new york go fuck yourself literally and i just want to say if you are a tall blonde woman with shoulder length hair who was at zero bond at approximately 11 o'clock last night please come see me like i would love to talk to you about what in your life hurt you that you felt the need to attack a little short girl at the bathroom i didn't even say anything and i wasn't being rude like oh are you dumb You didn't look in the bathroom stall.

I was just like, are you sure?

Like, if somebody said that to me, I wouldn't be offended.

Like, who hurt this girl?

She's, yeah.

Come see about me, okay?

Okay.

If anyone knows a tall, blonde girl.

Now you've had 12 hours.

I'm still so mad.

No, no, no, to ruminate on the insult.

What's your comeback?

Okay.

Let's play it through, okay?

Yeah.

Are you waiting in line for the bathroom?

No, I'm waiting here for fun.

No, no.

She says yes.

Yes.

Oh, are you sure they're all taken?

No, I'm waiting here for fun.

Oh my God, what the fuck is your problem?

That's what I would have said because that's the message here.

Like, it wasn't a confrontational conversation until she made it that she's obviously a deeply hurt person.

I almost wanted to hug her because she's obviously been through a lot.

Yeah.

I mean, we all have.

I was just so taken aback by the abrasiveness.

Like,

I'm sorry.

So, you called me last night while I was sleeping because you had something to tell me.

And then you said you were going to tell me on the show.

Yes.

Okay.

Please tell me.

So last night I went to dinner with a bunch of my friends who I haven't seen.

And one of my, me and Ben's like really good couple friends is Jordan and Nikki so they are they're engaged and me and Ben are really really close with them they're like the best couple and Jordan went to my high school our high school and like you and Jordan when you were in like freshman year like dated like high school date yeah just like for his history um it was like junior year okay okay

so he we were talking about um your I brought it up do you remember when Jackie did that poem and she sang Hannah Montana yeah I don't think he was in the class with me oh okay but it was World Wide News but it was it was worldwide news and we spoke about that on a previous episode if you don't know what we're talking about Yeah.

And I just was like commenting on like how iconic it was.

And he was like, no, I don't really remember.

But I don't know if Jackie knows this, but like I was so like in love with her when we were in high school.

That's a lie.

This is what he said.

That's a lie.

He said, I was like so in love with Jackie when we were in high school and like I wanted to do something nice for her and I knew she was obsessed with Hannah Montana.

Do you know this story?

I don't know, continue.

Okay.

So he's like, I don't know if she ever knew this, but I literally wrote a letter to Miley Cyrus like asking for like a signed picture or something.

Like, you know how back in the day you used to write to like people's PO boxes and you might get like a signed autographed headshot in return.

And he was like, you know, I literally like wrote this long letter to Miley and like sent it to her P.O.

box

and because I just like wanted to do something nice for Jackie and she never wrote me back.

And I literally, like, my jaw hit the floor.

I was like, oh my god, that's so sweet.

That's so nice.

I did not know that.

I know.

I'm like, I don't think Jackie knows that.

I don't, I didn't know that.

Like, I wish I knew that then because that's just like not how I remember things going down between us.

Oh, okay.

You know, so maybe you guys should talk it out.

He's getting married.

so like

you guys should talk it out.

So funny.

Yeah, but no, him and his new fiancé.

I'm glad it didn't work out because like now I have this great couple friend and they're like so great for each other and so great for me.

I'm happy for you.

It's very tough when you have couple friends because you always end up liking the husband or the wife more.

And they're a rare couple that like I like them both equally.

Like I would hang out with them individually or together.

That's great.

But I do have a hard time making couple friends.

Do you?

No, but I also don't have that many.

And I feel like I I don't have any couple friends that I wasn't friends with when they were single.

Right, so you automatically like this.

So it's like I just like my friend's partner, right?

Right, but so like when you make friends as like a couple, it's like different.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I could see that.

And it's actually really fun.

Because then like your friend dates someone like you don't like.

Yeah.

It's like, oh, gotta see this guy again.

Yeah.

Interesting.

Yeah, so I just thought you would enjoy that little piece of history.

I do.

Now I need to like, like, that's just not my memory of that time.

It's incongruous with my memory.

Well, and actually a little fun fact, I do believe Jordan's mom is like a big toaster.

So like maybe she'll hear this.

Oh my god, maybe she'll hear this and she can shed some more light on what actually went out as the adult in the situation.

Yes.

So yeah, that was my evening.

Got into a fight and learned more about Jackie, which is honestly not a bad evening for a Wednesday.

And you'd love to get into a fight.

Like, let's be honest.

Yes, but I lost like because she caught me so off guard.

Yeah, but I would have loved to come back with some fucking retort.

Here's the thing.

Next time you'll be prepared.

Yeah, no, no, I'm just gonna be on guard everywhere I go.

Yeah, and my walls hurt.

And then you'll say to someone, no, I'm waiting here for fun.

Yes, somebody hurt her.

Cyclical and you have to.

Hurt people, hurt people.

You have to break the cycle.

I will.

But I just will.

And you know how you break the cycle?

You let it go.

It's the hardest thing.

I can't.

You just sounded like a 90-year-old Jewish grandmother.

It's the hardest thing.

Somebody's got to do it.

I will, but I just need some time.

I mean, this was literally 12 hours ago.

Okay, we'll give you time.

But then we let it go.

Yeah, I think that's fair.

Maybe we should have a balloon.

Yeah, or like stage the room.

Yeah.

I'm letting it go.

It was just like shocking, you know?

The shock hasn't worn off.

Yeah, no, that could be shocking.

And like traumatizing, too.

You know what?

I'm over it.

I'm over it.

Maybe we should just dive in so I can get my mind off of things.

Yes, let us dive in.

We have a lot to talk about.

Real houses of New Jersey rehab.

And we have some really great stories today.

I'm really excited to just chat about some non-celeb-related items.

Jackie decided to change it up a little bit today.

I did, because, like, I don't know about you guys, but sometimes I get really fucking sick of talking about celebrities.

Well, like certain celebrities, I just get like fatigued from talking about.

Yeah, so we're switching it up in the fast five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

And today's episode, to nobody's surprise, is brought to you by Brush.

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Yeah, coincidentally, I brooched so hard this morning.

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I was like, Brush, get in there, get back there.

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Okay,

first

story.

Big news of the day.

Kanye West is reportedly worth more than $6 billion

thanks to his Yeezy sneaker business, making Kanye West the richest black man in U.S.

history.

Oh, wow.

According to new reports by People and Bloomberg, his estimated network.

People.

People, you know, I respect people.

Michio, not for my finance news, though.

I prefer, you know, Bloomberg.

Well, Bloomberg corroborated.

Oh, okay, okay.

Wow, that's weird.

Yeah.

His net worth is estimated at $6.6 billion, in large part due to his Yeezy sneaker business, which Bloomberg places between $3.2 billion and $4.7 billion after reviewing private documents.

Bloomberg also reports that West's upcoming Gap collab could be worth as much as $970 million with additional income coming from his music catalog, cash, stocks, and business investments, including Kim's Skims underwear brand.

Apparently he's an investor in that.

Wow.

Good to know.

This is like a huge, huge.

And for any celebrity to hit the billion market, we always celebrate over here.

And the six billion market.

And especially a celebrity who a few years ago was tweeting about how he was in debt.

In debt.

And a celebrity who now is making history as, what is it, the world's richest?

The richest black man in U.S.

history.

That's crazy.

And you know, I just always would have assumed that Jay-Z was richer than him because Jay-Z, like, from the beginning, has been very business-savvy, like, not even with his music, but then with Rock Nation and title and like all these different ventures, the Nets.

They always said he owned the Nets.

And so I would have thought Jay-Z was richer than Kanye, but he's not.

No, Kanye.

That's crazy.

That is crazy.

I've actually really been trying to get a pair of Yeezys recently.

I have a pair.

You do?

And I've never worn them.

Oh, you have the ones that they sent you?

Yeah.

Can I have them?

I don't know.

I like, I haven't taken them out of the box because I feel like it's really like a token of like

one of our biggest successes, like Kanye AWS reaching out to us.

Yeah.

So here's my thought.

I don't know if there are new toasters here who don't remember that, but just Google the morning toast closed on Sunday.

Yeah, and also there is a conspiracy theory floating around that like they actually didn't reach out and that like we that

like from that we lost former toasters.

Yeah, yeah.

Just bitches.

Which is like so crazy.

I have the email.

Yeah.

No, you don't, I don't have anything to hide.

That's like people also saying, like I bought my own book and bought my way onto onto the New York Times bestseller, which, by the way, like, I did not do, but whatever, I still made it.

You didn't.

But, like, I swear on all that is holy, like, I did not buy my own book.

No, and that they did send us the sheet music.

No, actually, I did buy like three copies of my own book on Amazon.

Maybe New York Times knows that I did that.

Oh, I bought, I pre-ordered your book, and then I bought it on my Kindle.

Yeah, so I got two.

So I bulked.

I bulk bought.

Yes, but no, we have the sheet.

Like, I have the email.

You know, all these conspiracy.

What is the craziest thing you've read about us?

Like, people who, the thing is, like, we, for a while, had, like, such, you know, devoted fans.

And when they decided that they didn't like us anymore, like, the devotion they once had to loving us turned into, like, thinking about us 24-7.

Like, how can we destroy their business?

How can we ruin their lives?

And honestly, the creativity was momentous.

Like, it was.

Unbelievable the things people were coming up with.

I think my personal favorite thing that I've ever heard or like read someone say about us is like, our business is completely illegitimate.

We have all our money in offshore accounts, and we have investors in the morning toast who, like, we're corrupting out of their money.

No, and that we evade taxes by having like a shell corporation, like, in the

it's not something I wouldn't do, but it's something I don't currently do.

No, and it was just stated as fact.

That's what we do.

And by the way, the girl who said it, I read in a Facebook group.

She was like a She works in compliance.

Like, she used her work,

her work, like resources

to like investigate us.

And so, like, everyone believed her because she had a fancy, like, software computer company.

And I was like, oh my girl, like, you need to be fired.

Like, using company time to investigate some podcasters, like, girl, get your life.

Um, I think my favorite conspiracy was that when we were canceled, that it was actually my doing because I wanted to get out of doing the show and just like go in with my life.

Oh, you don't remember that?

No, no, that was the big one.

You know, I could see that for you.

No, this is fun.

No, I honestly, like, it makes me feel really famous, like, when people come up with like these crazy ass things.

Yeah.

Love that for us.

Anyways, back to Kanye and my quest to get Yeezys.

Oh, right.

I actually have on my computer there's a new, um, there's a new collection dropping tomorrow for him, and I'm going to try and get, because I want to get them direct from the Yeezy site.

Otherwise, you have to, like, pay markups.

Markups.

Yeah, but StockX has a lot.

Like, if you ever get desperate enough.

I've been on StockX, like, investing here.

Which Yeezys, like, chunky ones?

So it's tough because I really want like the classic Yeezy boosts.

Oh, like, with the rubber on the sides?

Yeah that are like just like I really wanted to make it.

Did you say fake ones?

I did.

Well no I had the pink ones.

So he never made pink ones so it was like I wasn't trying to pretend to anyone like they where'd you get those like pink ones.

Right.

So I want those because I think I'll actually wear those the most but like I also kind of want like the newer cooler ones.

Yeah.

But I don't know.

So then I want like two pairs and and if I'm on stack X like that's so expensive.

Yeah I kind of want the like croc slides like that look like the Marvin the Martian ones, you know?

Yeah, those are pretty cool.

So now we know why Yeezy is a billions dollar business.

That's crazy.

Like honestly, I just, when someone told me, when I read that headline for the first time last night, I'm like, that is definitely not true.

But now it's like, when you think about it, it's 100% true.

Yeah.

But it's just confusing because for so long, he was like known as being the guy in debt.

Yeah.

And now he's like, not only not the guy in debt, he's the richest black man in the world or in America.

Crazy.

We'd love to see it.

We'd love to see

Phoenix rising from the ashes.

What I was going to say to you is you should wear your Yeezys because

Things are meant to be worn.

And it's like something that grinds my gear.

Zach is a big sneakerhead and he has all of these like really cool sneakers and he doesn't wear them and he winds up like wearing sneakers from Zara and I'm like, I'm like, wear your sickening fucking sneakers.

Yeah, but see, like, you can't take them with you.

If they crease, that's true.

You can't take them with you.

But if he's investing in them to one day sell them, like, you have to.

Like, he is, but, like, he's been doing that for so long.

And, like, there's no sales.

Yeah.

Did he ever sell those Dior ones?

No.

Oh, that was dumb because like the moment has passed.

Yeah, no, the valuation has gone down in the stock market on the stock market X.

Shit.

I know.

So maybe he should wear them.

No, now he definitely should.

Yeah.

Just like,

that's my philosophy of the day.

I know.

Wear your nice things.

I do, but like...

Because by the time you do, they're out of season.

That's also incredibly true.

Maybe I should just wear them.

Just wear them.

Hashtag, just do it.

Hashtag just do it.

Okay, I'm going to use it.

Someone should use that as a slogan.

Yeah, it's very powerful.

Maybe like a sportswear brand.

Okay, are you ready for our next story, little hair news?

What?

Billie Eilish

is teasing a sexy new project.

Yes.

And driving fans wild with her new hairstyle.

Yesterday, she showcased a blom bombshell hairstyle that instantly won over social media.

The hairstyle is pretty sickening, and considering we've known her for so long as the black and green girl, this Sarah Fawcett's style hair is a big change.

it's a sickening hairstyle even for someone who didn't have such a drastic change like yeah and her Instagram post reached a million likes in six minutes which is a new Instagram record wow and it's because obviously because the change is so drastic but it also just happens to be like the most sickening hairstyle like the layers the angles the like curl like it's fabulous it is fabulous and she said I'm gonna give you a new era I have announcements to make I've got some shit to go so yeah this is definitely signaling a new era yeah I'm sure that means new music it's very Taylor swift of her yeah I mean like she really did not have to slap that hard like just for a new era, but she did that for us.

Yeah, but I think that given that.

Oh, Truckers for Billy are here.

Truckers for Blonde Billy.

Do you like the haircut?

It's Truckers for Blonde Billy.

Yeah, they said they like it.

Given that her old hairstyle was so iconic, like she needed to come out of the gate.

If she was going to change that look, it needed to be on point.

And it is.

And I'm excited.

I was never like a huge fan of the black and green hair.

It's just not my personal style, but I love that it was like so her.

But I'm very excited for like, I think it's what's gonna be like glamorous bombshell Billy as opposed to edgy, you know, emo Billy.

Yeah, we'll see get you a girl who could do both.

Oh my god, Theo smells so good today.

Like, I've just been in the last 24 hours like in a Theo trance, you know?

Do you ever have that?

Like, I do.

You just like cannot get enough.

A Bruce trance.

I've been there.

A Brance.

Are you ready for our next story?

Sure.

A little more like Adidas news.

I guess we're just like Adidas stance today.

It's actually Adidas.

I'm dead serious.

But not for me.

No, not for me either, but like people who don't live in America like cannot believe that we call it Adidas.

Like we're 100% wrong.

It's Adidas.

And you know what it stands for?

All day I dream about sports.

No way.

A-D-I.

No, it stands for All Day I Dream About Snacks.

Yes.

And even Lil Mix has a song called A-D-I-D-A-S, but it's all dream all day.

I dream about sex?

I don't think they would be that overt.

Okay, what's the story?

Peloton and Adidas are working together on an exclusive apparel line, which is great news for me because some of the apparel that I've gotten from Peloton has just been really fucking unflattering.

Yeah, I mean, I feel like apparel is probably not their strong suit.

Like, the bikes are strong, and they should just, like, stick with that.

No, but like, apparel could be, like, can be and is for other brands, like, a huge source of income.

So good on them for outsourcing to Adidas.

Right, so many of my workout clothes are from

SoulCycle because they had really great workout clothes.

Which was Lululemon.

Which was Lululemon.

But Peloton and Adidas announced Thursday that they're working together to create a new line of athletic apparel and lifestyle gear in inclusive sizes and unisex styles.

Oh man, also speaking of, actually continue.

The collection was dying with help from some of Peloton's top cycling instructors, including Robin Arzon, Ali Love, and Cody and Cody Rigsby, my fave.

I've been sending you his stuff.

Yes, we're big fans.

And he's so Claudia's cup of tea.

Speaking of like inclusivity sizing news, I read the weirdest story that I just had to double check.

And Taylor Loft plans on cutting their plus size clothing by the fall, like just getting rid of it.

I heard about that.

Isn't that so weird?

Yeah.

Did they put out a statement or something?

So somebody tweeted, like, hey, Loft, is it true you're discontinuing your plus line?

They responded, unfortunately, due to ongoing business challenges, we've had to make some difficult decisions, which does impact our plus collections.

Come fall, our size offering will be double zero to 18, aka extra, extra small to extra, extra large.

We sincerely apologize for any disappointment.

That's just kind of lame.

Like, why is that the first thing to go, you know, when like business is bad?

Yeah.

And I think, like, as far as I know, Loft has kind of been like

very consistent in their plus size and like really reliable.

Like, people have always just like, and I can't imagine that it's actually good for business to cut your plus.

Like,

the average woman in America is a size 16.

So, like, what are you doing?

Damn.

Well,

you can get Peloton Adidas apparel.

Yeah, that's cool.

The merchandise will include shorts, hoodies, tees, crew necks, sports bras, jogger pants, retails anywhere between 30.

Are the joggers Shiba Sharae?

September, spring, summer.

Okay, just because if they're not, I don't want them.

I don't want it.

Beginning on March 25th, they'll be for sale on both companies' websites.

So if you're cool.

Interested.

I think that is pretty cool.

I feel like I'm going to start buying some more.

Like, if it's good stuff, like, why not be wearing Peloton merch?

It's, you know, that's cool.

It's cool.

That's my source of...

That's my primary source of exercise.

I mean, there is Pellet Toaster merch, so it should only be fair that there's actual Peloton merch.

The Pellet Toasters, shout out to you guys, are just such a great community.

I agree.

Very empowering.

So empowering.

Very uplifting.

Okay, ready for our next story?

Um

ready, come and find me.

That used to be our fucking jam.

Yeah.

Who sings that song?

Cheryl Crowe.

No.

Shania Twain.

No, I think it's just like Sherry.

Yeah, Sherry.

I knew.

That's what it's called.

Yeah, Cheryl Crow would never.

No.

What's your favorite Cheryl Crow song?

On the Count of Three, Red.

No, I'm not ready.

I'm not ready.

I need to look at her catalog.

The first colour.

No, that's my least favorite one.

What?

That's my least favorite one.

I'll give you my favorite one, okay?

Also, like, has anyone ever seen Cheryl Crowe and Jewel in the same room?

No, because they're literally the same person.

Okay, here are the good ones.

If it makes you happy,

it can't be that bad.

I'm

gonna soak up the sun.

I'm gonna tell everyone

to

lighten

up.

Gonna tell them that I

got no one to blame.

That's a great fucking song.

Okay, and then all I wanna do is have some fun.

Don't know what.

Nope.

And then, correct me if I'm wrong, but does she sing Photograph with Nickelback?

Wait.

She has a song about a photograph.

Wait.

She has a song about a photograph.

Wait.

She has a song about a photograph.

What?

No.

Oh my God.

Jackie, photograph is a Nickelback solo endeavor through and through.

She has a song about a picture with Kid Rock, same thing.

No, so nothing.

Picture, photograph, same thing.

Kid Rock, Nickelback, same thing.

Photograph, that's like comparing a song to the national anthem.

Like, you just can't be done.

I know, but I meant picture, and if you heard the song, you would know it.

And I think no one.

I know the song.

I think for those who are listening, they see how I got from A to B.

Oh, obviously, I see it, but I just can't believe you would ever

not

fully understand the scope of no, I understand the scope the scope of photograph, and I thought maybe like they brought her in for a remix or something, but I also didn't think it's like I was thinking it through.

Okay.

I was thinking it through.

It was my final answer.

Okay.

Okay.

It wasn't my final answer.

Okay.

Okay, next up, a little makeup news, a little interesting makeup in the cue news.

People are buying more above-the-mask makeup during the pandemic, the Ulta CEO says.

Above-the-mask makeup, like eyeliner, mascara, and brow products did well during the pandemic.

Other categories that fare well included skincare, clean beauty, hair care, and fragrance, the CEO of Ulta told CNBC.

That's actually so interesting and on point.

Now that I think about it, and I realized this the other day, I haven't bought a new lipstick in well over a year.

Yeah, that's true.

I actually feel like makeup more so than any other industry, like wasn't as impacted by COVID, just because I think people were desperate to feel like themselves at home and like kept their makeup routine for like for the workday.

Yeah, no, I think that a lot of people like definitely scaled back on makeup, but so much about like buying makeup isn't about what you actually wear every day it's like fun palettes and yeah you know it's so it's because a lot of people just like collect makeup and don't even use it yeah i'm done doing that by me too it's so wasteful and it just sits there and expires no and like

i have all these palettes and i don't need them and i hold on to them because i'm like one day like when we're doing our halloween jonas brothers like i'm gonna need it yeah no i also used to hold on to like all of the packaging that my kylie cosmetics came in because i just thought it was so cute goodbye yeah that's silly holding on to like the lip kit

box.

Peppermint.

No, no, the box that, like when you buy a lip kit, it comes in like a Kylie box.

Oh, like the Unicarten.

Yeah.

That's crazy.

And I have to start getting rid of those things.

Yeah, no, I just like hate having like an outpouring of makeup.

It's just like so wasteful and so unnecessary.

Yeah.

So above the eye makeup.

And I also feel like

brands, like specifically makeup brands, like really could scale back.

in their packaging when it comes to like PR.

Like it's so wasteful.

Like all the confetti.

It's like terrible for the environment.

Like these, I literally, I'm not going to call it the brand.

The big, when I got back from my trip, there was the biggest box.

I swear on my life, it was the size of one of these couch cushions.

Guess what was inside?

Hmm.

Two cartons of ice cream.

Cause it had like this big freezer and this dry ice.

And I'm like, this is so fucking wasteful.

Like for two, I couldn't, oh, and they packaged it so poorly.

The carton of ice cream was open and the whole thing was melted on.

Like it was, I had to throw the whole thing away.

It's just so wasteful.

Well, that's also because you were away.

The carton was, the, no, the carton was open.

Oh, it spilled out.

Oh, I thought the dry eyes melted by the time I got home.

Just so wasteful.

Like, I feel like a lot of brands really need to scale the fuck back.

Like, you can send, and also, like, okay, you have a new foundation coming out.

Like, you don't need to send the person all 40 shades.

They probably only need three to five, like, to figure out which one's theirs.

Right, or you could ask them in advance.

Right.

Like, it's like, what does

a person of one skin tone need, like, 10 other?

Like, it's just so stupid.

Yeah, I hear that.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

Fifth and final.

A little tech competition news.

Okay.

YouTube's TikTok competitor hits the U.S.

What is it called?

Shorts.

On Thursday, the company said it's expanding the beta program for its short form video offering called Shorts to the U.S.

Now and over the next several weeks, previously, it tested the product only in India.

Globally, users have been able to view shorts but not create them.

YouTube says its feature allows social media creators to shoot short, catchy videos using nothing but their mobile phones.

Sounds familiar.

Yeah.

It offers a way to string multiple clips together, add music, and use a timer and countdown to record videos handling.

That's literally what TikTok is.

All features currently available on TikTok.

I mean, I literally like just hit 100,000 followers on TikTok.

Like, please, can we stop with this rat rates?

Like, I'm a 26-year-old woman.

Like, I cannot keep up with all these apps.

Like, Reels is like already so stupid, but I'm just like using it as I see fit.

And it's just exhausting, like, to keep up as a millennial.

Like, relax.

Yeah.

Exhausted.

I really do.

Reels has been around for a while now, and I really don't think that it has posed any sort of threat to TikTok.

And also, I read somewhere that the Instagram algorithm was going to be like not prioritizing videos that have a TikTok watermark.

Or that what assholes.

Or that are like not great quality, which means you like it from TikTok.

And then re-uploaded it.

So they're really going hard.

That's crazy to me.

Like,

you're going to steal TikTok's idea.

And and people, okay, we're playing the game.

Like, we're uploading our TikToks.

That's what we did with Instagram stories.

We were saving our Snapchat stories and uploading them to Instagram stories until most of us just eventually left Snapchat behind.

Right, because Instagram stories, at the end of the day, were better products.

So why don't you create a better product?

Why don't you like innovate something that makes reels more compelling than TikTok?

Oh my God, like that's so fucking lame of them.

And this shorts thing, like, girl, you are too late, shorts.

Go home.

You're drunk.

Like, we've settled this debate instagram tried if instagram can't copy you really youtube like good luck like in instagram is the best at copying people and they weren't successful so you're not gonna be shorts but do you think that youtube creators that there'll be some sort of in way where or it's like if you have a lot of subscribers on youtube maybe somehow that translates over to shorts i don't know like you can spend a lot of money on talent and and content a la triller which is tick tock's biggest competitor they literally pay for all those Sway Boys.

They live in a house that has Triller everywhere.

Like, they spend insane amounts of money on creators to be on their platform.

Like, J-Lo's on it, and still, like, nobody fucking cares.

No, but I'm not even talking about spending money, but like, if your Shorts profile is connected to your YouTube page, where you are a creator with millions of subscribers, wouldn't you want to utilize shorts?

Because you're already like the biggest

influencer.

But most of those enormous TikToker, enormous YouTubers are on TikTok and have more followers on TikTok than they even have on YouTube.

Ooh,

thickens.

Yeah, like

it's too late.

Like, can everyone just leave it alone?

Like, the ecosystem, the way it is now is good.

Like, we're happy.

Like, we're fine.

We're all just living.

Like, leave us alone.

Yeah.

It's not like the streaming wars.

Like, more

streaming services benefit us.

More apps, I don't feel like I'm benefiting.

I'm just.

Because we're the ones who are creating the content.

So you're just like spreading the creator thinner and thinner.

Right.

And I just think that like the way it is now, like, TikTok won.

Like, everyone needs to stop coming for its neck.

Like it won.

Yeah.

I mean, anything can happen though.

Yeah.

Because I would have said Snapchat won.

Yeah, of course.

There were a few years of Snapchat.

Yeah, but I just feel like...

The way that Instagram annihilated Snapchat over the course of like a month was so crazy to me.

Well, I'll tell you what it was.

There were things about the user experience on Snapchat that were kind of infuriating.

Like that one line of text.

Yeah, and Snapchat like wouldn't listen.

And then we went to Instagram stories and like every time someone had a thought about like, oh, it'd be better if the next day, it would be better if we could add a swipe up link, like, they just kept adding these changes.

We could tag our friends, like, the next day, these changes would be implemented before you even thought that, like, you needed them, and it just became a better user experience.

100%.

And they have not successfully done that with reels.

And they haven't successfully done that, actually, with anything since.

And I find that making reels using like their platform is much harder than making a TikTok.

Of course.

So you guys should sort that out.

Yeah.

Honestly, like, they could really use some beta, you you know, user some feedback.

The moral of the story is: go

home, shorts.

You're drunk.

You're drunk.

Now it's time for our Real Housewives of New Jersey recap, which is brought to you by today's sponsor, Imperfect Foods.

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Love it.

Okay, so the Real House was in New Jersey.

Last night was actually like maybe one of my favorite episodes in recent memory.

Like, nothing crazy happened.

It was just hysterical.

I feel like the women were in rare form, the men were in rare form, and that party looked really fun.

It did.

It looked like a really good party.

The pool is really stunning.

And I love that we saw last year that, like, she was thinking about a pool.

And now here we have full circle.

Pool.

Why is she selling the house if she just put a pool in?

I don't know, but I feel like I've seen that, like, she bought a new house with her new man.

It has like 11 rooms because she has five kids, he has five kids, like they needed all these rooms.

Oh, wow.

I guess it's like one, the memories.

I think it's like such an expensive big house.

She is going off to college.

Like it never, and I think like that house is so symbolic of all of the treachery.

Treachery that they went through as a family.

Like I think that for them to move forward, like the house had to go.

Yeah.

I just don't understand why you would put a pool in.

Maybe just to increase like market value.

Like I guess houses in New Jersey like need a pool.

All the women have pools.

I'm sure that it did increase market value.

I mean, that house has always been like a haunted empty lot.

Like it's a house with no furniture and it's like a yard with no grass.

Like it's really bizarre.

I can't imagine anyone would have bought it.

Like if Bravo should have bought it, like the Museum of Natural History should have bought it just to preserve the sanctity of it.

Yes.

But there was a few things to unpack.

Like I actually thought Jackie was going to end up coming.

And while I do respect her for being like, hell no, like Teresa didn't even invite her.

Melissa invited her.

Jackie's not desperate.

Jackie doesn't know that.

Yeah, because they did a scene, they did a flashback to the scene, and it was like Jackie said she didn't even tell me you told me.

Oh, really?

I think.

I'm not sure.

Whatever.

I didn't think that she knew.

While I respect Jackie for like not accepting a half-assed invitation, like

get over it.

Like, get over it.

Get over it.

That's the thing.

I still think what Teresa did was so wrong.

But after watching the last three episodes, I have some.

She's like over it.

I have some additional thoughts.

Like, one, I thought that the second party for Evan, like, was a

fine idea whatever but like the way that she literally like the party became incumbent on everyone telling Evan that they didn't believe it like it was really weird it was really cringe and Joe Joe Gorger the next night was like how awkward was last night no it was so awkward and like she had to make another toast and it was like at a restaurant like it was just she threw us the worst parties you know the first party for Evan was in a parking lot and I know we're in COVID but like come on and the second one was literally in a packed restaurant like can we get some privacy yeah so I was just like this is just not how I think I would be handling all this.

Like, on the one hand, like, drawing even more attention to it.

Her toast, cheers to the girls, Evan's fucking at the gym, like, girl.

But no, no, but, like, that was funny, but like, but like, it's not funny, because Joe Benigno says he also heard the rumor.

So now I'm like,

there's a lot to, there's a lot to talk about.

And I don't remember, because I watched them all yesterday.

I don't know what was last night and what was in Lake George.

So I thought it's just like overkill the amount that she's talking about it.

But I did think it did help Evan to be around everyone and be able to be light about it.

I'm sure that week in the house where it's like just the whole world thing like, you know, so I think it was good, but just there was just they were trying, she was trying so hard, like yes, girl, like

so now Joe Benigno says that he has heard the rumor.

I love Joe Benigno.

Like literally, he is my father-in-law.

I cannot like see him and not see Bruce.

And

when Margaret sat down with her ghostwriter and just like started crying, like I literally, I love Margaret so much.

And like, I just, I love them as a couple.

And they're, they really are like, I think maybe in housewife's history, like the most healthy, normal couple.

Like, I love them so much.

Sorry, continue.

Love them so much.

So, when Joe Benigno says that he's heard this rumor in his house from like the girls that Margaret has over, and by the way, he said it like not to stir shit.

Like, it was literally an offhand remark.

It's like he literally thought that there forgot that there were cameras there, and that this is a reality show, and that's going to come bite you in the ass.

And I feel bad for Margaret and your wife, yeah, because obviously that means that Margaret has heard this rumor, right?

And

that changes things because it's not just like Teresa heard one thing, but it also still Teresa's in the wrong because let's

just

go under the premise that this is that it's true because this whole time I thought it was categorically false and I thought like Teresa like straight up made it up just to get back at Jackie never thought that she made it up but I thought it was like she got a rogue Instagram DM I'm sure she gets a million about all the women she was like this one I shall take yeah and it's like well if you want to go on all unfounded rumors then let's talk about them all but really let's talk about none of them yeah so let's say it is true she heard it from a legitimate source and it's a true The way that she went about it at Evan's birthday party, literally telling everyone who would listen and saying it loudly so that his actual friends who have nothing to do with the show still heard it, was still so evil.

No, she's she's nasty.

Like, she's a bitch.

Right.

Because if she genuinely cared and was like wanting to, you know, be a woman who supports women, like, she would have taken Jackie to lunch and told her.

Right.

Or like told Melissa to tell her.

Like.

Yeah.

No, the way that Jennifer told Melissa about the.

Yeah, but Teresa's not like that.

Like, she's right, but like, how many...

She's never going to look out for someone.

How many times are we...

Is the moral of the story just Teresa's not like that?

No, it's unacceptable.

No,

it's an unlevel playing field.

Yeah, but now that it's like coming to light that it's very possible that this could be true, it's like so annoying.

Like I can't even, I don't even want to watch a reunion because like Teresa will feel justified in her actions.

But like still, it's unjustifiable.

The way she did it.

Right.

100%.

So, yeah.

And then also, I will say, just given like the Teresa, I feel like Jackie could have played it so differently and really minimized it, but she didn't.

She made it like a bad thing.

Just being like, I feel like everyone at this point just kind of ignores Teresa.

Like, doesn't tell her them what she they doesn't tell her what they actually think or feel because they know that like she's not receptive to logic.

Feedback.

So if Jackie had just been like, oh, Teresa just wants to get back at me and then like we moved on.

I know.

Now it's the center of the world.

Every single episode we're talking about, like, does Evan cheat?

No, and now it's like, at first, I was like, it's uncategorically, categorically untrue.

Now I'm like, I don't know, I really trust Joe Benigno.

I do.

And he has no reason to lie.

No, no, no.

I don't think Joe Benigno's lying.

I'm sure someone came into Margaret's house and said it.

That still doesn't make it true.

It just means like, oh, Teresa didn't just, it's not just one person saying it.

Yeah, no.

And now that we're talking about it for so long, it leaves people's imaginations wide open.

Yeah.

Maybe there is.

So I think that.

Obviously, you know, he has a reputation to uphold, but I think ultimately, if it was, if Jackie never for one second believed it to be true, she could have just like just like ignored Teresa and just made her look like petty and crazy.

Yeah.

But about the party, it actually looked so fun.

Like I just, maybe I'm just like craving a pool party, but it looked like they were like in the pool playing

tequila pong.

Tequila Pong and like it was like Dolores in her bikini and like great.

Everyone looked amazing.

Like I literally felt like I was watching like teenagers.

Like in a good way.

And they all looked like so fire, like their bodies and their outfits.

And like I am very hard on New Jersey.

They're some of the worst dressed women they all like really brought it out i mean melissa gorga like her body is just she actually looks like a teenager like it's the craziest thing ever but all of the women really look amazing especially this season yeah and i just like can't relate to having gotten better looking than

yeah totally um the highlight of the episode for me was obviously jennifer aiden like getting so blacked out drunk and to be honest i kind of lived for it like i don't know of course like you shouldn't get that drunk but like whatever like we've all been in covid like nobody knows how to drink anymore like she was in a safe place Like her husband was there.

He just like took her home.

And I love that like no one was being judgy.

Like all the everyone was like actually trying to help and they like thought it was funny.

And I kind of loved that.

Like obviously I don't condone like getting so drunk you can't stand, but like I don't know like you have a bunch of kids.

They drive her fucking nuts and they don't fucking help her.

Like when she put that whole meal together, sat down for two seconds and everyone was already done eating and then like left and didn't help with the dishes.

I'm like, I don't know how she does it.

And where are her two nannies?

Like where are they?

I actually like really felt for her.

So if she wants to go like get absolutely hammered just so just so she can sleep and her kids will leave her alone.

Like, girlfriend, I empower you.

Yeah, I saw nothing wrong with it.

I thought it was funny.

I just personally was like, it made me never want to drink again because I'm like, that feeling of being like dizzy in someone's house.

Like, and then you have that car ride home, and we know she lives a little bit.

I think she lives in Grammys.

And Teresa lives in Franklin.

Franklin Lakes.

Well, yeah.

And so that's a long drive to be like so queasy, unwell.

I never want to have a sip of it.

At least I had the convertible open so you get some fresh air.

I never want another sip of alcohol in my life after watching that.

I know, but like the flashback to Bill Aiden in Jersey Shore last summer and

them carrying him out of the car, like them carrying Jennifer to the car, like get you a couple who could do both.

100%.

I thought it was a really great party.

And Jackie, again, just like with like George's only punishing herself.

She's missing out.

She is.

And I understand like Evan might not want to be around the group anymore.

Fine.

Yeah, but like when you sign on to the show, like it's not going to be all good.

Like there's going to be things like this.

yeah and you need to be able to be like i know who we are i know who you are i love you we have to be able to not be outside noise and yes it might affect his business in some way you can't go on a reality show if you have a business that's so like sensitive and like right but this reality show makes shit out of everyone but also this reality show brings businesses of course

the the scale tips both ways and you have to be able to take the bad with the good so i am by no means team teresa like in any way i'm just like not as like

i'm not standing by jackie like she was just like starting to bother me it's like first of all all you're missing out on all this fun all these episodes and just like get over it like now that it's like not now that it's like three episodes later it's like not that big of a deal like there's a rumor about every literally everyone's husband on reality show like right just get over it like you'll get back at teresa another time she's not playing the game right no not at all like for as a housewife so even though i don't agree with teresa i'm still like ethically on jackie's side i don't like the way that she's handling it anymore yeah and At the end of the day, I actually would not be surprised if Jackie, this is her last season.

Like, she's so upset by this like she's not letting go right but that's where she's played herself because then you go out on my husband's a cheater and that's what we remember you for and you give Teresa exactly what she wants because she's wanted you off the show from the moment right and so when the more trips you don't go on the more parties you don't go to Teresa is getting her way and yeah, she's just like

she's not seeing the big picture.

No, not at all.

And that's surprising because I've always thought she was really smart.

Yeah.

But she's not acting smart.

No, and she is like, and they come for her for being too emotional.

And it's like, I don't have the issue with like the emotions like that they do.

And I don't mind if she cries or whatever, but you have to be able to like compartmentalize.

Like, this is a job.

Yeah.

Like, you got to get back to the office.

Yeah.

Like, put your big girl panties on, roll up your sleeves and get back to work.

And, and you know what?

Get back at Teresa.

Yeah.

That's how it works.

That's how it works.

Yeah.

Also, Melissa's Shorehouse is so nice.

Like, so nice.

I actually feel like.

Definitely in New Jersey, but Melissa's house, like even in regular Jersey is my favorite.

It's literally so gorgeous.

And their their new basement, and like go through the wine room, and then you're in the poker room.

And by the way, they just sold it, which is so crazy to me.

But their shore house is so nice.

When Melissa was like, this is literally like my heaven happy place, like the pool and then the bay, like it's so nice.

So nice, the outdoor bar.

And Joey Gorga, like, does homes.

So we obviously like made both of these homes.

I would let him build me a house.

100%.

The outdoor bar.

Yeah, it was like sickening.

The last piece of storyline is this new housewife who's Teresa's realtor who said that.

Wait, is she a new housewife?

Yeah, that's what I had.

That's what I read.

She's not a housewife yet, but I read before the season that Teresa's realtor is like the new cast member.

I don't like that.

This is their way of introducing her, I think.

Yeah,

I think we're going to be seeing more of her.

Oh, no.

Her and her husband are both like equally so fucking annoying, like, I'm thirsty.

Like, I actually wanted to die watching Joe Gorger talk to him because, like, it's clear.

Like, I believe Joe Gorga.

Like, I don't think he's shady.

I think, like.

What he said in the wrong way, like, riding my coattails is basically, like, you didn't get paid for this event or whatever deal we had because, like, being a part of this event, like, will bring you exposure, it'll give you Instagram followers.

Like, we had an agreement,

like, you would get paid, like, you're whatever, but we're not splitting.

This is my event, right?

The idea that they would be 50-50 when it's like growing with Gorga.

It's not growing with Gorga and Jonathan Steinbreger.

So, and like, he did registration and sold tickets.

Like, that's not 50-50.

No, like, and hosted a QA.

Also, he was like the moderate.

And then, Joe Gorga was like, Yeah, you sent 10 guys, you did registration, and you sent me a bill, and I paid it.

Right.

That's how it works.

So, he just like got ahead of himself.

He's like, oh, my wife is going to be on housewives.

Let me like, let me, you know, get 50-50 on this deal.

Like, he just got ahead of himself and he made himself look really, really bad.

And his wife.

And when, when his wife was like to Melissa, like, let's stay out of this.

Like, you fucking started it by telling Jennifer Aiden, who you don't even know.

Yeah.

I really don't like the new girl.

That was really a weird way to start, but I'm glad that they were able to, like, you know, reconcile.

Chalk it up to a misunderstanding.

Yeah, but at the end of the day, like, her and her husband were giving me like such weird vibes because at the end of the day, like, all they wanted was a commission on Teresa's house.

So they were like, like, Okay, so, like, we're cool.

Like, you'll still let my sister sell my wife's house.

Like, like, chill the fuck out.

Like, if you want something, you gotta play the long game.

Like, don't be so obvious about what you want.

So, yeah, we're cool, right?

Like, I could still sell your house, like, and make your commission.

Like, chill the fuck out.

Like, take a step back.

Like, nobody wants an eager beaver real estate agent.

Like, be cool.

So, like, yeah, dude, I'm still like selling your house right now.

You got like a commission?

Like, I have a buyer.

He's interesting.

Let's come over tomorrow.

Yeah.

Chill the fuck out, girl.

Like, be cool.

Yes, I agree.

Be cool.

Don't be all uncool.

But I do think if this woman comes in as a housewife, like that's a good adversary for Melissa.

Yeah.

And I just want to I want to know what the life of the top real estate agent in New Jersey is like.

Like I actually think that might be interesting, but her husband bothers me so much.

Like, so like, you'll still let your sister sell her house with my wife, right?

You'll still let my wife sell your sister's house.

Like, be fucking cool, bro.

Yeah.

But all in all, it was actually like a really good episode.

I thoroughly enjoyed it.

And Margaret Josephs is just like the queen of my heart.

Like every time I see her, I just love her so much.

Absolute queen.

And that's that on that.

Yeah, that is.

Tonight is the premiere of the final season of Keeping Up with the Kardashians on E.

Very emotional.

I don't even want to watch it.

I don't mean to watch it because once I watch it, like then it's over.

Whereas like with Schitt's Creek, I didn't watch the final season for a year and I had a year of like extended Schitt's Creek.

Well, here's the thing.

I think there's a lot actually to unpack that I'm hoping they address in this season.

Of course, the Kim and Kanye of it all.

I would love to hear about some of the 818 backlash and what that meant to Kendall.

I think they were done filming by then.

Oh.

They were done filming by then because the party with the

all the cookies

with the producer was before,

yeah.

Okay, well, so Kim and Kanye, that's really all I'm looking for.

And I think Scott, Sophia, Courtney is, I saw a preview that they do talk about that.

I mean, because they're breaking up.

When is the sit down with Scott about his grooming abilities?

Only dating 18 year old girls.

I just think it's something we should all talk about as society, but them as a family as well.

I agree.

I agree.

I think I saw a headline that there's a clip of Kylie like crying with Kendall about Kendall's acne like growing up, that it made her really sad.

What?

I'll read you the headline.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

Fine.

It was a part of their drunk get ready with me, which I've been meaning to watch on Kylie's YouTube channel.

That's literally what I'm going to treat myself to.

I know, and there's also like the Courtney one.

There's actually a lot.

Once I get on a YouTube, like, kick, I watch all of them, but it takes me a while to go to that app.

Okay, I'm so glad, like, what you thought isn't real, because, like, I've been trying to defend Kendall, and sometimes she's indefensible.

No, I'll just, let me just read you what I saw, because

I don't want to confuse people.

You don't want to mince words.

It's not trending on people anymore.

Okay, never mind.

I believe you.

I guess not enough people click.

I believe you.

It's clickbait.

It's fucking clickbait.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I just assumed it was about the new season because, like, there's a new season.

So tomorrow we will recap the first episode of the final new season of Keeping Up with the Kardashians oni.

So make sure that along with us.

And if you didn't know that it's on, this is your reminder because like I haven't really seen many commercials for it except the commercials that I do see with the Harry Styles song like literally make me so emotional.

It's too upsetting.

Like that's what I'm trying to say.

And I think like the keeping up stands like my feel this way too of just like I don't

Once it starts like it has to end.

Yeah, so I don't want to start it But obviously I'm going to be watching it tonight so we can recap it But like like, I just want you to know that I'm in pain.

Do you think Kendall texted Harry like a link to the trailer?

Like, we used your song.

No, because I don't think probably Kendall.

There's a chance Kendall never even, actually, they posted on their Instagram, so she saw that commercial, probably, but like,

I think when it comes to like making a commercial, she literally is so far removed.

I know, but like, the fact that they use that song was like an iconic pop culture collaboration.

Yeah, there was a lot of people.

It was a little down in history.

There's another song that they, there's another commercial with another iconic song.

Well, they love to use hallelujah hallelujah oh no it wasn't a Kanye song it kind of felt like like a rock song I'll have to find it maybe it's a Travis Barker song it might be um okay so stay tuned for that tomorrow and that is our show make sure to head over to shopmorning toast calm to check out our brand new merch collection that just dropped the beautiful stunning and smart collection phone cases mugs sweatshirts long sleeve t-shirts sweatpants we got it all and all previous merch if you're looking to get a gift for someone some old merch is up on the website shopmorning toast.com thank you guys so much for listening to the morning toast the millennial morning show Show where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

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