S4 Ep28: Subway: The Musical: Wednesday, February 10th, 2021

Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the Morning Toast.

Happy Hump Day!

What a beautiful hump day.

We've got dooto in the stoo deo.

Doot to do to theodora.

Ay.

Doot doot to theodora.

Oh.

Dootedo to theodora.

Ay.

Crunchy angel Dora.

Precious lovey Dora.

You know, I love our Dora song, I do.

But do you know what it reminds me of?

Like that I have like a negative association with like where we made it up?

Oh, we used to sing it when we were leaving the old studio.

Yeah, and like I hate that place since they evicted us, so like I just have like a slight negative association with it.

Oh, that's so funny because for me, obviously, that's where the song was born, but it's just taken on a life of its own.

I forgot that that's how every day when we would leave the studio, we would get him like putting his on right and we'd just be like

Dora.

Love of my life, Dora.

And on the whole elevator right down, we were on like the 30th floor, literally the whole time.

Crunchy angel, Dora.

Cutest bird, Dora.

Smelly boy, Dora.

Oh, we owe Theo an apology.

You guys, we owe Theo an apology.

Patrons will know why.

We recorded a Patreon episode yesterday all about Claudia's book.

We took all of your questions that were left over from the Redheads episode or didn't make it for various reasons.

And we did a great episode.

But towards the end of the episode, it started to smell up.

Like literally smell.

And for me, as a dog mom, I knew immediately what that smell was.

I talk about this all the time on the toast, probably more than I should, but you know, dogs need to express their anal glands.

I don't know what it really is, but like this juice comes out of their butt and it is so sickeningly, disgustingly smelling.

It smells like fish.

Like it's so gross.

And you, if you've ever experienced like your dog expressing your, his anal glands, like you know the smell.

Yeah.

So I literally, the episode was winding down.

I'm like, Jackie, do you smell that?

And I knew what it was.

And I was like, we got to wrap this episode up.

And like, we basically talked about it for five minutes, shaming Theo's anal glands, which wasn't cool of us.

It wasn't cool of us.

And what turns out to be even less cool of us is then we packed up our things, we left the studio.

When we left the studio, it smelled so much worse.

The smell was coming from next door.

I think they had ordered like fish for lunch.

No, that was not food.

No, no, no.

I think it was where else, what else?

It sounded like a septic explosion.

No, because it wasn't.

It was not a culinary smell.

It was like 12:30.

The door was open.

Oh my gosh.

I think that they ordered like

a fish fiesta.

No, by the way, in no way was you can't to think that I misconstrued a smell of fish with the smell of anal glands, like you just said they smell like fish.

I'm sorry, food.

It's not food.

Oh man, that's sick.

I didn't think that.

I thought that there was a pipe burst.

They had a fish fiesta.

No, I totally disagree.

And so clearly it was not Theo responsible for this.

Well, that's the moral of the story.

And we embarrassed him then.

We're embarrassing him again now.

We're really sorry.

And we're really sorry, Theo, because it wasn't you.

We literally ran out of here.

We ran, and it it wasn't even us.

We should have stayed in here.

100%.

So just wanted to clear that up because it was probably hurtful for Theo.

Super hurtful.

In the meantime, head over to Patreon and listen to the episode because it's really fabulous.

We cover the gamut on things from the book, you know, taking the conversation offline, some of the fanfare surrounding the book.

And it's just a great.

So much fanfare.

It's just a great episode of toastiness between Claude and I.

And then also, my book is available at girlhnojob.com slash book.

I feel like I really don't need to tell you guys that because like just the numbers keep coming in, the audiobook numbers I finally got.

And it's like,

we have so many listeners.

Like, you know, sometimes you feel like we're literally talking into a void.

Yeah.

But they showed up and showed out for the book launch.

And they were.

I'm going to stop insulting them with the promotion.

Like, they already have it.

For sure.

Were they sickening Audible down?

They were sickening the audio department down.

Wow.

We love to see it because we love audio here at the Morning Toast.

Even though sometimes ours is a little janky.

Yeah.

And even though we can't stop singing.

Yeah.

Oh, you know what?

I did a q a uh like i always do and there's always someone who's like please stop singing no

and i responded to it like no

and the amount of outpour like the outpouring of love and support for the singing like was enough to reinstill my faith in our singing now of course some episodes do we outdo it yes i wasn't sure what the girl was referring to because i i have this annoying habit of like singing when i talk and is like that what she's talking about or us singing like you know you're so golden

Like, is that what she's saying?

Yeah, she's definitely talking about that specific one because that was so off-pitch.

Yeah, that was fun.

Let me try that again.

Three, two, one.

Oh, my God.

What?

I started singing you're so golden.

And also, your pitch is like weird for the do's.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Don't fucking come for my pitch.

Three, two, one.

You're so golden.

You're wrong.

Who's right?

Together, we're just bad.

We're both wrong.

So golden.

It's like the Gaststone saga all over again.

Guest stone on three.

Ready?

Three, two, one.

Gastone.

Now that's a good one.

That was sickening.

That is.

I'm going to bring the harmony down.

100%.

Oh, my God.

So maybe in a few years from now, we'll get a little bit more.

It's getting overheated already.

Like the show just started.

You should be able to see it.

I'm wearing a chunky sweater today because I feel like I've been wearing sweats.

I feel like, no, I'm like trying to wear an outfit today.

Like I'm wearing tights.

I feel like I've been wearing sweats in some way, shape, or form for the past few days.

You have?

I'm still talking about my hoops.

No, I know, because the same thing is like, I wore this today because you've been wearing so many sweats and then you show up in a loop.

In a turtleneck, which has been your loop.

And tights.

Yeah, and chunky boots, which has really been your loop.

I guess I've been inspired by you, and you've been inspired by me.

We'd love to see it.

Inspiration is just reeking over here.

And you're just like being inspired by wearing hoops every day.

Yeah, well, you know, I got so much like positive feedback from my hoops.

And I used to wear hoops all the time.

And then sometimes on the show, I felt like it was so, so much.

But now I'm feeling like, like, I have a lot of, you know,

faith in my hoops.

And for those wondering, these are the ombre from the new Allison.

Ooh, ombre.

I haven't seen those.

Those are sickening the hoops.

And you know, our friend Margo works for Allison, so I, like, we get some free stuff, but I actually purchased these because like I wanted them so bad and I didn't want to wait till like, you know, they weren't cool anymore till I could finally get a free pair.

Yeah, for sure.

No, I love them.

So yeah, I'm just being hoopy vibes.

Very hoopy hoopy vibes.

And I think that being in this stage of quarantine or whatever the fuck we're in, like, it's so important to like have little things that just spice up your everyday routine.

Like when I was wearing that Prada necklace, like I just felt like a whole new bitch.

Yeah.

And I can imagine that's how you feel adding hoops to your sweats.

No, I, and hoops and sweats is a vibe.

For sure.

But especially like a February 2021 six degrees outside vibe.

No, I know.

And like it's six degrees outside.

I'm sweating like a beast today.

I know.

It is warm in here.

It is warm in here.

Okay.

It's just Theo being so hot.

So sexy.

He really actually, now that I'm feeling it, it's like came over.

Yeah.

We have a great show for you guys today.

It's hump day, dear toasters, our advice segment.

We actually have so much to cover today because you watched Britney Spears.

I watched the Britney Spears dock.

Last night, the Real House Size of Dallas was on.

Shouldn't take too long.

Should not take long at all because it was literally one dinner party the whole episode.

And there's just fabulousness happening in the world that I feel as though we need to cover.

Yeah, we do need to cover.

So I guess without further ado, it's time for the past five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

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Fire taxes.

Seriously, don't forget.

First story, you guys, major controversy.

Kim Kardashian hits back at people.

Major.

Major.

Kim Kardashian is hitting back at people who are questioning her daughter North's painting abilities.

She says, How dare you?

She was not, she did not come to play.

She did not come to play.

It's funny, like, what sets her off, but this is clearly

one of those things.

Doubting, like, it's

doubtful.

Doubters, non-believers

once were her dreamers.

No, anyone who doubts North's abilities, like that is obviously a trigger point for Kim Kardashian West.

We know that now.

We do.

And she is one proud mom.

She's not afraid to stick up for her children.

The star recently shared a photo of a landscape painting her daughter North had completed, calling the seven-year-old a little artist in an Instagram story post.

However, social media users quickly began questioning whether or not North had actually painted the artwork, which was done in a style similar to the works of Bob Ross.

One Twitter user wrote, I'm supposed to go, but I can't stop thinking about how Northwest did not paint this.

Then Kim took to her story and wrote a lengthy post saying, don't play with me when it comes to my children.

My daughter and her best friend have been taking a serious oil painting class where their talents and creativity are being encouraged and nurtured.

North worked incredibly hard on her painting, which took several weeks to complete.

As a proud mom, I wanted to share her work with everyone.

So she's like coming after specific articles, specific tweets, saying, How dare you come for North?

How dare you question her child's abilities?

And that North is the artistic queen that she said that she was.

And then on TikTok, these two girls from Calabasas, who, like, I think when they were kids, took that same art class, they had their paintings from when they were kids, and they're like, no, this actually is what like art class is like in Calabasas.

So I'm not going to lie, like when I first saw it, I'm like, lol Kim, like North did not paint that.

Did I feel like vocalizing it on the internet and being a troll?

No, I just thought to myself, like, okay, there's like, there's some, I don't know where we lied, but there's a fabrication in this.

Like someone helped, like, there's a little bit of a lie.

I don't think so.

I think, but then, then it came to be, isn't it a paint by the numbers?

I, like, when I first saw it, I assumed it was paint by numbers.

So when I figured that, I'm like, oh, no, they can make anyone a good painter.

Yeah.

And she spent weeks in her oil painting class.

Like, I just, people are constantly underestimating North.

North.

And they're constantly embarrassing themselves with that.

Congratulations.

You played yourself.

Obviously, like, I had no doubts that North made this because also, like, why would she say that she made it if she didn't make it?

Mostly, it's just my faith in Kim that made me believe that North.

Right, right.

No, and it's like, when you have that big of a platform, like, you really just can't lie about random shit.

Right.

Or you shouldn't.

We don't know Kim to lie, especially about North.

But it also is interesting that in her supportive claims about

in her Instagram stories, she was had a picture of some art and referred, and in the context of the story, she was referring to Kanye.

And instead of calling Kanye, she called him North's dad.

She said, throwback to some of her dad's artwork that he did when he was a kid, which some people are taking to mean like she can't even utter his name, they're divorced, which I took to mean like this is a story about North and it's North's dad, showing her artistic ability.

I really appreciate like the level of denial you are reaching, but no,

this is how you refer to the father of your children who you're no longer married to, like the children's father.

I saw a story like on her stories before it was a news story, and I was like, oh, that's so cute.

Like, I didn't think anything of it.

I think people are just looking too into it.

No,

I feel as though I've been on the denial train with you for quite some time, but I did think that was intentional, weird wording.

I don't think so.

I think it's just all about North.

And I think that if Kim

didn't want to mention Kanye, she wouldn't have posted it at all.

Like, she's posting his young artwork.

So sweet.

I think this whole story is so sweet.

I love North's painting.

Like, can't wait till it's an Art Vandalay original.

You know what I love about North?

They should collab.

You're just so

sweet.

Like, you just really believe, like, in the good, you know?

I believe in my people.

Yeah, no, for sure.

And I was really there with you, but I think at this point, like...

I'm not saying that they're not getting divorced.

I'm just saying I have no reason to believe right now that they are because Kim hasn't said anything to me.

Okay.

Anyways, we'll come back.

To you.

Are you waiting for a text message?

I'm waiting for the statement from Kim's IG.

Just like she spoke on North.

Yeah.

You know, there's all these rumors flying.

She did not hesitate to correct this one.

No, don't come for her fucking children.

Don't come for her children.

Looking forward to the Northwest Art Bandalay collab whenever it drops.

You know, I think often about those pieces that Chloe made during her stint as Art Band.

Artistic family.

No, they were really, really good.

And once they got them framed side by side, like the red and the black, I was like, I would fully put that in my home.

Where are they?

They should auction them for charity because I would fucking buy them.

100%, but it also goes to show how a nice frame can make anything look fabulous.

And that's why you need frame bridge

to not today's sponsor, but you're right.

Like the proper, just like a nice canvas, like some decent paint and a fancy art frame.

You're right.

Like it's just, it's enough.

Yeah.

No, that's so true.

Those were some really funny episodes.

But where do we think that they live?

I think they're probably in Chris Jenner's home.

No, I don't, I think they're in Chloe's garage.

Did you ever watch the home edit episode of Chloe's Garage?

No.

They weren't in there.

They literally went through all of her stuff.

Like, True has 117 of those like mini cars that every kid wanted when they were a kid that like really drove.

She's like a Bentley, a Range Rover, like she's the craziest shit.

All of Chloe's paint supplies are in there that she made it into like her paint studio, but there were no framed pieces hanging around.

Maybe she has like a little, you know, room in her house where they're all hanging or maybe they're in the attic.

And then she also had like a huge corner for like all the merch she gets from herself, like her collabs with like Good American and all these other, and then her sister's collabs that like they sent her.

Oh, that's so nice.

That's what I need.

Yeah, I need a merch room.

Like the merch that we have, that's why I have to wear it today just because, like, there was literally no room for it in my closet.

No, I'm out of room for it.

Like, I always have like a couple piles of merch.

And now we have new merch dropping on February 17th, and you guys, it is sickening the warehouse down.

The warehouse is still sick.

No, the warehouse, who am I?

Warehouse.

Yes, because they're fucking sick from the most sickening merchandise just sitting on their shelves.

You guys will get some sneak peeks coming soon, but the drop is on Wednesday, February 17th.

Gird your loins.

Gird your motherfucking loin.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay, sorry.

Anyways, Justice for North has been served once again.

Stop doubting her.

Yeah, that's the true lesson here.

It's like

Kim is her mother.

Kanye West is her father.

She is the firstborn.

In Judaism, we call that the Bachor.

It's for a boy, but still it counts.

Bachora.

Bachora.

We must, as a society, stop doubting Northwest's abilities.

Like, homegirl, like, she will be the first, you know,

something, you know, she's going to be like an astronaut.

Yeah, like she's going to kill it.

Yeah.

So if she wants to be the next Bob Ross, she will be.

So be it.

She will be.

Okay, next up is a crazy story that has been like circulating on the web, but cops are now denying this wild rumor that Army Hammer is a suspect in a death investigation.

Like literally, it's crazy that like Instagram pages like Dumois and like a bunch of these other gossip sites, like they literally started this rumor.

Mm-hmm.

Police have shut down a wild online rumor that Army Hammer is a suspect in California's Wonder Valley death investigation.

After hikers discovered human remains in the California desert on January 31st, social media ran rampant with speculation linking the 34-year-old actor who's caught up in his own scandal to the case.

The rumors began after Instagram account Du Mois

shared posts claiming that a shocking story about Hammer would be published immediately and suggested that that is why his agency, WME, dropped him.

Got it.

So if you saw the post on Du Mois, and then there was like Dumois.

I always say different every time.

I say different every time.

But there was also these tweets going around saying that like Army Hammer at one point this year was like working in construction and which is just a very bizarre thing for an actor to do.

Right.

And then also like at that same time, some bodies were found very close by.

And he was working on a movie that was set near this location where the bodies were found.

So it was like,

there wasn't not not evidence.

Like,

when I read it, I'm like, this could be true.

And also with Dumois saying that

a big article was about to come out about Army that was so damning that his agency

preemptively dropped him.

It was like.

Right.

And we're still waiting.

Like, according to now, a lot of people, like, the LA Times is working on a major piece on Army Hammer that has something so damning in it.

Like, it's worse than anything we've ever seen.

So it's like, we've seen something really bad.

The logical next thing, like, what's worse than cannibalism?

Murder.

Like, so it's not a crazy thought.

So, when all these things were happening at the same time, we heard about the article, something damning was coming, someone put together, like, with this dead body, like, it did it not make sense.

Yeah, no, it wasn't, like, crazy.

So crazy.

But now the San Bernardino County Sheriff told The Sun that Army Hammer's name hasn't come up as a suspect at all.

We have no plans to investigate him.

He's probably relieved about that.

So I guess that's that on that.

Yeah.

But that was a crazy few days.

The rumors were like so crazy that we actually didn't even talk about them because that's like.

You know, now the

it's insane if wrong.

It's speculation and like conspiracy theory at its finest.

100%.

But now that the police spoke on it, we as a legitimate news source here, like we can speak on it.

Right.

So and by speaking on it, we're saying that these two things, and I feel like a lot of people like saw those tweets and were like, question mark waiting for the story to jump.

Right.

So I guess here we are to tell you that that's not going to be the story, but still pending this mysterious LA Times story that's so bad that Trump's cannibalism.

Right.

I'm very much looking forward to reading that piece piece if it ever sees the light of day.

Yes.

I have a feeling like because we know about it, it probably never existed.

Yeah, like someone somewhere is working to get it stopped.

No, it's like a game of telephone.

Like this, the article never existed, you know?

Yeah.

Like I think it's very logical that his agency would drop him.

Not because of something's coming, but because of all that's already happened.

Like

an agency's job is to make you money.

And at some point, I've been dropped by an agency at some point due to a scandal.

Like you are no longer lucrative for an agency.

Yes, but all of this cannibal stuff came out a few weeks ago.

It did take them a very long time.

It took my agency like one hour to drop me and I didn't hurt anybody.

So

hypocrisy.

Yeah.

Hypocrisy.

Yeah.

He's been America's next top cannibal for a while.

That's funny.

Thank you.

And you know, I always, I've been thinking a lot, like, I just wonder, like, first of all, like, where is he?

Like, where is he experiencing the cancellation from?

Is it a house?

Is it a hotel?

Has he seen his kids?

What is going through his mind?

Does he feel like he's being framed?

Like, Like, is he sorry?

Like, I'm just like, according to his statement, he thinks he's being framed.

Right, but that statement was so long ago.

Like, I don't even, I don't even remember.

Like, I don't know her.

Like, I don't know that statement.

It was like, it was written in all caps and it was supposed to be like written by a publicist.

It looked like it was written by a child.

It looked like Northwest wrote it.

Well, then it would be amazing if she wrote it.

So stay tuned.

Next story: a little happy royal beb news.

H-R-B-N.

H-R-B-N.

New time for a little H-R-B-N.

Ready?

Okay.

Princess Eugenie shares the adorable first photo of her newborn son on Instagram.

Princess Eugenie is welcoming her first child in a modern way with an Instagram post.

That is true.

This is like a first royal baby

with an Instagram photo that reminds me very much of Kylie and Stormy's.

And very much of Olivia and Michaela.

I know this like hand-holding baby announcement is all the rage right now and it's so sweet.

No, because it's like the mom is fucking tired.

She just like gave birth, created a child.

And people, like, I have seen people like getting their hair and makeup done in the hospital, which, you know, good for you.

I'm not here to judge anyone, but like, that will not be me.

Like, I will literally, I probably won't even have a medicare.

I can tell you someone who it will be.

You.

There's literally two types of girls in the world.

Girls.

who do the hand-holding thing and girls who get their hair and makeup done.

Well, no, I'm not going to get my hair and makeup done, but I am definitely going to be putting some foundation on.

You know how red I get?

Like, I would be crazy.

No, a foundation and a brow and a lash.

I'm not going to have a makeup artist.

I don't even have a makeup artist like for for my wife.

Right, that's true.

Yeah.

I'm going to bring up an example that I've recently found out that you say I bring up all the time.

But

what to expect when you're expecting that scene where like Brooklyn Decker sneezes out two twins.

There's two types of pregnancy women.

I am Elizabeth Banks, like all the way, and like you are Brooklyn Decker.

Oh, no, no.

Yes.

Oh, no.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

I mean, it remains to be seen.

Also, you could say there's two types of pregnant women, Courtney and Kim.

Yeah,

that's so true.

And I'm much more of a Kim.

For sure.

Same.

For sure.

But we shall see.

You never know.

Anything can happen when you're expecting.

Yeah.

And you never know what to expect when you're expecting.

Okay, the first photo of Princess Eugenie and Jack Brooks-Banks' baby boy was shared on the Royals Instagram page on Tuesday.

The black and white shot shows their baby's hand wrapped around Eugenie's thumb while Jack holds the baby boy's arm.

You know, that is a new touch of both parents' hands in the photo.

Yeah.

You know?

I feel like, you know, the mom did more work.

Like, let her have her moment, but okay, whatever.

Yeah, but it's still really really cute.

She captioned the shot with blue heart emojis and two exclamation points to show her excitement.

I really am like not over the fact that it's like royal announcement news on Instagram.

I think that's so cool.

No, but it is.

It's so 21st century of them.

The queen yet again ushering the monarchy into a new era.

So I found this out because like on People Magazine's Instagram, there was a picture of them.

And

then it was like in the caption it was like welcome princess, you know, whatever.

And they happened to have chosen like a really unflattering picture of both of them and the comments

were so mean

mostly because like the picture the picture of both of them had a lot of teeth

and they were British teeth

yeah that's it I think looks so cute like so happy people are so people are so mean but like you know like when you're when you're your internal monologue when you're looking at a picture like for me I would never say anything but I was looking at the picture I'm like oh that's you know a lot of teeth and then the comments were just like so mean

damn

justice just when the royals get on instagram they're gonna yeah now you're gonna make fun of them which just is like a british trope but it's not nice

they're so mean i'm not even reading them no that ain't right no i know but um that's how i found out about the british new baby okay well very happy warm wishes yes to this new family i feel like whenever we bring up eugenie like we always say like ideal level of royal fame like she probably has a small semblance of a normal life i think we say the opposite Actually, I'm having deja vu.

We can literally have this conversation before.

Because she has all of the responsibility and none of the perks.

No, I disagree.

She doesn't have the perks.

Yes, she does.

No, she doesn't.

She has the money.

I don't know.

Isn't that like the only perk and the fame?

Yeah, no, but like she's not like.

But she doesn't have to go to as many like state dinners as everyone else.

Like she probably.

I guess it really just depends what you think are responsibilities and what you think are perks.

Perks, yeah.

No, that's so right.

I think that most people see a state dinner as a responsibility, but to me, it sounds fabulous.

Perk.

Yeah, but not when you have them like every night and you have to like wear these heavy like dresses and sashes and crowns and jewels.

It depends on the person because to me that sounds amazing.

To someone else, it sounds amazing.

Every night for your whole life.

A couple times a year.

Crowns and jewels and sashes.

Oh my.

Okay, are you ready for our next story?

I'm ready, come and find me.

I'm not gonna hang out the sun on my side.

It's heavy, come and find me.

Open

and I'm ready.

Ready?

That was like such an obscure song.

Those lyrics make no sense.

No sense.

We're definitely singing them wrong.

I'm heavy.

Come and find me.

No, thank you.

Open four in the one and I'm ready.

Ready.

They just can't beat the right lyrics.

No, we're definitely singing them wrong.

But we had a dance made up to that when we were kids.

Oh, you did.

You heard the big kick?

Yeah, and it was like, Red!

Fuck ow.

Shit.

Did you hit the corner?

No, I'm I'm actually gonna cry.

I'm really hurting.

Oh, no.

I'm okay.

Did you hit the corner of the mic box?

Yes,

with your tendon and your wrist.

Literally.

Oh.

With the.

Call an ambulance.

Call an ambulance.

But for me.

For me.

Okay, I'm okay.

I'm wearing that really hard.

I almost.

Well, I think this next story is going to cheer you up, honestly.

It better be about Alex Trebek.

It is.

His Jeopardy wardrobe is being donated to a homeless organization.

Some of the wardrobe worn by the beloved Jeopardy host has been donated to the Doe Fund, a nonprofit that provides housing, vocational training, continuing education, and other services for formerly homeless and incarcerated New Yorkers.

The Doe Fund.

The Doe Fund is the best organization.

It's such a fabulous organization.

Do they come?

I know when we were in high school, they came and talked to us.

To the students, yes.

And that's how I first heard about it.

And now, if you're ever on the street, you'll see people who work for the Doe Fund, Ready, Willie, and Able in the blue suits.

You see them everywhere.

And I'm so glad they're still around because I I first heard about them in high school, like, maybe 10 years ago.

Yes.

And that's, it's just like, it's, they're an organization that, like, I they just have their shit together.

Like, they've been around forever, they've proven success, and they, I'm sure they are so excited about this donation.

Yes, during his last day on set, Alex extolled the virtues of everyone opening up their hands and their hearts to those who are suffering.

Donating his wardrobe to those who are working to rebuild their lives is the perfect way to begin to honor that last request, said Mike Richards, who is the executive producer of Jeopardy.

Among the donated items are 14 suits, 58 dress shirts, 300 ties, 25 polo shirts, 14 sweaters, 9 sports coats, 9 pairs of dress shoes, 15 belts, 2 parkas, and 3 pairs of dress slacks.

The clothes will go to participants in the Doe Fund's re-entry program called Ready, Willing, and Able as attire suitable for job interviews.

Oh my God, that's so sweet.

And it's like we all

yet again can learn another valuable lesson from Alex Trebek.

And it's like even after he's gone, his legacy is just lives on.

Lives on.

This is so, so nice.

And I love, and he's from Canada.

I don't even know, like, you know, how he knows about the Doe Funge.

Does he not?

Oh, I don't know.

And they film in LA.

Yeah, maybe the

executive producer might have filmed the call.

Yeah, it might be familiar.

So great.

Like, when I saw this on, like, one of those good news Instagrams, I was crying.

Like, it's so sweet.

It's an amazing story.

And they have pictures of the recipients with their like, and like, not only do you get like a fancy suit, like, it was worn by a celebrity.

Yeah, historic.

Yeah.

We love to see it.

We do.

It's just a really great story.

And our fifth and final story is some interesting news.

Celebs Jerry Seinfeld, Debbie Mazar, and more will be voicing NYC Subway PSAs.

No, thank God.

So the Stand Clear of the Closing Doors announcement is getting a star-studded makeover.

Oh, I love this.

With a dose of gritty New York attitudes, starting Friday, a collection of New York City's notable natives, including Jerry Seinfeld, Debbie Mazar, and Whoopi Goldberg, will be

iconic.

Will be voicing

the MTA's subway and bus announcements as part of a new initiative to breathe life into the pandemic-weary public transport system.

We need it.

Debbie Mazar says, the subway is part of my DNA.

I'm so excited to do this.

I want subway riders to feel welcome.

I want them to hear a familiar voice, think for a second, and maybe smile.

Wait, you know what?

Of course, I like who they have, but they really should have also included like Howard Stern and Andy Cohen.

Okay.

Sorry, just maybe that will be like the next installment.

But I think when you think of

famous iconic New Yorkers, obviously Jerry Seinfeld.

Yeah, Yeah, I don't think of Debbie Mazer.

I did not even know she lived here.

She has such a great and distinct voice.

Yes, and Whoopi Goldberg, it's like,

can you imagine after a long day, like on the way home, so excited to get home and then you hear like the warm, delicious voice of Whoopi Goldberg?

That's a great one.

Yeah, that's a really, really good one.

Oh, I think that there are more,

but the campaign was spearheaded by director Nicholas Heller, who's behind the Instagram account at New York Miko, where he features like big applicable characters.

The MTA reached out to him for ideas for how to spice up the subway.

Oh, look at the MTA being forward-thinking, like, can't get their trains running on time, but reached out to an influencer.

There's such a disconnect here, but okay.

Yeah.

He approached about 50 prominent New Yorkers from across different industries, and no one had an issue to participate, even though there's no money involved.

He landed 25 of them, including Fran Leibowitz, probably another great New York voice, rappers Jada Kiss and Cameron, comedians Desus and Mero, radio personalities,

Jesus and Mero, sorry.

Radio personalities Angela Yee and Angie Martinez, and sportscaster Michael Kay.

So there's a lot of different voices.

I think this is going to be a really cool and hopefully ongoing campaign where new voices could always be added.

Well, you know, I would love to hear from Jerry Seinfeld, you know, after he made like a huge, you know, ta-da over the summer, you know?

Yeah.

New York's coming back.

I guess this is his way of helping?

I think this is his way of helping.

This is, you know, a lot of people's ways of

doing something exciting for the city.

Yeah.

So I think that it's a it's a cool, interesting little factoid.

You know, I like it a lot, but I think it's like a little bit again like celebrities thinking that they're going to just like save the world.

Oh, well, yeah, it's a little bit of that, but it's more so like if you live in New York, like you know how we are riddled with problems and like the voice of the MTA man like wasn't at the top of our list.

It's more like, you know, the crime and there's just like all so many restaurants closing, like the economy.

So I feel like maybe, call me crazy, we should tackle some of those first and then worry about who's going to tell us what the next stop is.

Right, exactly.

And I'm going to miss that guy.

And I know he was going to be.

Stand clear of the closing doors.

Please.

And like, whenever I hear that, it just like triggers me actually back to NYU.

Like, I just hate it.

So maybe, like, getting some new voices in there, we can create new memories.

I'm actually really okay with that.

Yeah.

And if they need some like young New York voices to say, good morning, MTA.

Welcome to Times Square, the home of Broadway.

We are available.

We are, yeah.

We could do some more.

Like, um,

okay, okay, okay.

No, say, if you don't get off at your next stop, you'll be remiss.

You'll be devastated.

You'll be heartbroken.

Even heartbroken.

And then it's like, I'll do all the ones for like the theater district.

So like, next stop, Lincoln Center, home of the opera.

And then we'll be like, hear the sounds of marching feet.

On the avenue, I'm taking you to 42nd Street.

If they're not playing that every time they hit 42nd Street, what is you doing?

And then, and then when they, I don't think there is a 57th Street stop, but if there, no, actually, there's 59th.

Yeah.

It's in the summer of 57th and 7th.

I would be like, I was walking towards 57th Street, towards Pard, with my same old song in my same old heart.

Thinking what I'm gonna do when I get older.

Claudia, that's fucking beautiful.

Yeah, I could come up with a whole slate of songs that I can mention.

If you're on the sixth and you're heading north, uptown,

she was living in her outtown world.

And if you're on the sixth, just like between stops, I was running through the six with my woes.

You know how that shit go?

Just a little something like that.

Yeah, I do.

Oh.

And then if I was on the fourth train, little Janet Jackson, only got four minutes to save the world.

Hesitated.

Ooh.

Oh, and then when it's the final, final stop, you know, when they get all the way north or all the way south, and everyone has to get off,

I want to see you out that door, baby.

Bab Baba,

that's beautiful.

Or if they were on the R train, are you ready for it?

Oh, that's good.

And the doors will, the door, and we'll have the fog machine, and the doors will open and close.

Doom, doon, doon, fog machine, lights, lights, and fog.

Every day on your way to work.

This could literally be like the best project.

Like, I really could come up with like a pop culture music-themed extravaganza.

100%.

100%.

I could go on.

No, No, I could wax poetic.

Yeah.

Oh, and then, you know, like, oh, the Empire State Building.

Stop.

New York.

Concrete jungle, wet dream to made of.

There's nothing you can't do.

Okay.

I really don't want to stop, but I think that's.

No, like, I could go on forever.

Oh, and then when the train comes to a stop, you know how sometimes, like, between between stops, like, you get stuck in in the tunnel because like the lights don't work or something?

Yes.

When it comes to a screeching halt, stop in the name of love

before

you break my heart.

Just an idea.

So, once again, we are available.

Or if you want to hire real singers, you could do that too.

The ideas are free, MTA.

I'm a real singer, so just for sure.

But I'm going to say the ideas are free.

No.

Really?

You wouldn't.

Intellectual property?

No, but I'm giving them to the MTA for those.

Are you ready for it, closing doors?

That's so funny.

I will supply the fucking dog.

You can put it ready.

You can.

Okay.

Now moving on to Deer Toasters, which is our advice segment where we do every Wednesday.

We take advice.

And if you want to ever, no, we give advice.

And if you ever have a query?

Query Quandry.

Query Quandry pickle that you're in, email us, deartoasters at gmail.com and we will do our best to read your advice on air completely anonymously.

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Okay.

Okay, dear toasters, ready?

Mm-hmm.

Hi, Claudia.

I'm Jackie.

Hi.

Hi.

Claude, congrats on being a New York Times bestseller.

Your book was everything of the sort.

Thank you.

My boyfriend is a PJOM, and we moved in together seven months ago in his hometown, where all of his close friends and family still live.

This is a huge deal for me because I moved far away from my sisters, friends, and parents to be with him.

I have a couple friends in the area, but due to COVID, I haven't been able to make any more.

I still struggle living away from my friends and family, but I love living with him.

There is one issue I need my two disgraced queens to help me with.

My boyfriend has a friend.

Let's call her Gabby.

They've been friends since middle school and have a weirdly close relationship.

She is single and they are constantly texting and she is always at my apartment.

I've gone snooping before and haven't found anything incriminating, but it still weirds me out.

Her family owns a restaurant and every time we go out to eat we go there so we can see Gabby.

They are both part of this larger friends group, that is, friend group, that is always hanging out while I am left at home watching reruns of Real House Size of New Jersey and I just eat my weight and salt and vinegar chips.

I've been wondering, why am I not invited to these hangouts?

His other friends bring their significant others and he never invites me.

The one time I did hang out with his friends, it was really fun, but I've never been invited back.

I'm starting to think that he is not inviting me because Gabby is there and he doesn't want us in the same room.

Am I being crazy or do you think that something weird is going on with Gabby and my boyfriend?

I truly love my boyfriend so much and I see myself marrying him, but my mind is going to the worst places.

Sincerely, a sad toaster.

There's a lot to unpack here.

The first is obviously like, should or can your fiancé, who's a male, have a friend that's a girl?

We can talk about that.

But I think the second thing, like your boyfriend like constantly hanging out with this group of friends, girls and boys, and not inviting you is really fucked up seeing is how like you gave up so much to move away all your friends and family are back at home you have very few friends in this town especially because of covid and he has like a full-blown group of friends infrastructure that you can't come that ain't right like first of all because you

moved your whole life for him and like gave him everything that he wanted like you pretty much should get everything that you want like from now until eternity so if you want to be hanging out with the friends like just say i moved here for you like i'm going you know you have so you need to like wield that a little more yeah um and it's a little bit shady that he wouldn't include you to begin with like maybe he thinks you don't don't want to be there because honestly watching real household New Jersey and eating salt and vinegar tips like sounds like a really good time But no like just stand up for yourself.

That's not right and as far as Gabby goes like once you're in these situations you can get a pulse on her and if you think that it's it's not good Tell him I moved here for you.

You're not allowed to be friends with Gabby anymore.

Yeah, it sounds like you're forgetting like you're in charge.

Gabby doesn't run this town.

You do.

100%.

But then the conversation about him having like a close friend like Gabby.

So of course like I'm such a jealous person.

Like when I think about it, I'm like, okay, no.

And if that were Ben, like, I would kill someone.

But honestly, like, Abe, like, is one of my best friends.

I hang out with him all the time.

I FaceTime him like for hours at a time.

And like, Ben doesn't feel weird about it.

And, like, there's literally nothing to feel weird about.

So, sometimes it is just a friend.

But I do think it's not to be like, so, you know, 1950s.

Like, I think it's fine for a girl to have a guy friend, but I don't think it's fine for a guy to have a girlfriend.

I think there's just

context is everything per usual.

Like, one, what's her situation like?

Is she in a relationship?

Two, and you know what makes it weird?

The fact that Gabby has like no relationship with the fiancé?

Like, Abe and Ben have hung out multiple times before.

Like, he's more of like a couple friends.

If you have to keep it separate, you're doing something wrong.

If everyone's together as friends, it's a beautiful thing.

But I think, like, let's hear more about Gabby before we judge her.

It sounds like you don't really know her.

Yeah.

No, but I don't know.

But you obviously just hate her.

Even for us, too.

Like, is she in a relationship?

Like, what is her deal?

Right.

Like, does she have a history of like, you know, being a skank?

Like, what, like, no, is she a history of being a man stealer?

Like, what's the

skank?

That's like a derogatory word.

I apologize.

But, like, has she, you know, hooked up with other people's fiancés or live-in boyfriends, you know?

Live-in boyfriends.

Next up, it's, like, so nice you moved like into this small town for your boyfriend.

Honestly, sounds epic.

I wish Ben was from.

No, 100%.

Maybe we should move there and then we could like all form a group.

Yes, we'll send a cool group.

Yeah, Gabby.

Yeah, Gabby.

We're not going to your restaurant.

We're going to the competing restaurant.

That's so mean.

Okay.

Hi, Claudia and Jackie.

I must start off by saying I listen to the podcast daily and I love you guys.

I need some advice and I'd be RDH if I didn't come here.

I am seriously RDH.

I'm a dental hygienist.

Oh my gosh.

She's a registered dental hygienist.

She better have got that sweatshirt.

I had a patient a few weeks ago and I saw him both and I had a patient a few weeks ago.

I saw both him and his son.

My patient is about 55 and his son is 14.

The dad was a little creepy and complimented my hands more than once, but whatever.

I was talking to the both of them about skiing and how I recently picked it up over the quarantine.

I was walking the dad out to leave and he offered me a pair of skis that are too big for his son.

I took it with a grain of salt and kind of ignored it.

I was working the other day, and the dad brought in his son to have some work done, and he brought me the skis.

I was so awkward and uncomfortable.

He just left them in my office.

I took them home, but I feel a little unprofessional and totally weird if this is this guy's way of flirting with me.

What do I do?

Do I call him and say they don't fit?

I can't accept them, or do I just keep them?

I mean, it's free skis and they fit.

Is this wrong of me?

They're really RDH toaster.

I mean, girl, keep the skis.

Like, life is expensive.

If you get a free pair of skis, don't question it.

Yeah, and honestly, like, sending them back, like, also makes it awkward.

It's like coordinate, like, the pickup.

It's awkward regardless because he seems like just an awkward guy.

I mean, obviously, monitor the situation.

If anything feels like truly creepy, report it.

But right now, it seems like he's maybe just like a nice guy.

Like, with a free pair of skis.

Like, I don't know.

Some people are just really generous.

Like, that's like I have this thing that I don't need and you need it.

Like, here you go.

That just makes complete sense.

No, and like, I'm, I guess you could say, like, I'm generous, but you have to come to my house and pick it up.

I'm not driving out of my way to drop it off for you.

Like,

it's your gift.

Yeah.

But I guess he really just, some people are do-gooders.

I don't know.

I was doing the wicked ride on Peloton yesterday and that song came on, No Good Deed Goes Unpunished.

And I'm like,

that's how this man will feel if you return the skis.

So you don't want to make him feel bad.

Let him do the good deed until he gives you a reason to think that there was like another reason behind it.

I just want to see the good in people.

And it sounds like you don't feel uncomfortable by his presence.

It's just like, it's really not a normal thing to do.

Yeah, it's just like super fucking extra, but I mean, he likes you.

Like, you have a pair of skis.

When where are we going?

Yeah, where are we going?

I'll meet you in Aspen.

Shred the fucking gnar, y'all.

Okay, ready?

Dear Jack, Claude, and Theodora, love you guys so much.

Thank you for everything you do in bringing a smile to a millennial's face.

Oh my god, you're so welcome.

I have physical proof that my boss's husband is sleeping with our co-worker and is now borderline stalking her.

Okay, so the boss's, oh my god, excuse me.

Boss.

The cake boss's husband so the boss i guess okay the boss's husband is sleeping with a co-worker and now is stalking her and now he's stalking her we all work in the same office my boss is allie the co-worker is chelsea and the husband is james hold on boss is allie co-worker is chelsea husband is james got it i like i'm like reading this but i can't comprehend it do you ever happen have that happen yes i'm like these are just letters like okay boss is allie so the co-worker and the husband chelsea and james wow very good I'm like, I'm not able to digest this.

No, I can read it.

James and Chelsea used to be super, super flirty and it was really uncomfortable.

I would look over at Allie and it seemed like she was ignoring it.

James and Chelsea would disappear for over an hour at a time.

And when Chelsea would come back, she would have an elaborate story about traffic, spilling coffee on herself, and so on.

Fast forward a couple months, and she admits to someone that she was sleeping with him in his car.

He would also give her money for manicures, highlights, and whatever she wanted.

Now she says she's over him, but still accepts money and gifts and get this.

He sends her gifts to the office and Chelsea leaves them on her desk for Allie to see.

Would you somehow want Allie to know?

There is a rumor that James, that this isn't the first time James has been screwing around.

Allie is a precious sham of a woman and does not deserve any of this.

Signed monkey in the middle of a scandal.

Sounds like you gotta stop butting in people's business.

I know, but it also sounds like you should write her a letter.

Anonymous.

Dear Sam,

the other night

at James's car.

HR.

Chelsea.

James put his head between Chelsea's breasts.

Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, my inclination is always just like, butt the fuck out of people's business, especially at work.

Like, work

isn't your life.

You know, you go to work to live.

You got to make your money.

Like, it's not everything.

So just like, I don't know, keep your head.

That's my advice.

Seems like you're really invested in it emotionally.

And like, I just, I'm not the type of person.

I'm like, my coworkers, like, you can all go fuck yourselves.

Like, I'm getting out of here.

It's literally just me.

No, you.

And that hurts.

I mean, like, if I was in a typical setting with people I wasn't related to.

Okay.

Like, I'm just not the type of person, like, in a corporate setting, like,

to care that much.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I own my own company.

So, like, now, like, yes, I'm very passionate about everyone here.

But like, if I was just like a cog in a machine,

I would do my cog work, make my money, so I can go get drinks.

Like,

keep your head down.

That's my advice.

Yeah,

I would try to.

I think it's really hard.

And

again, no good deed goes unpunished.

So if you tell Allie, like, then you're a part of this, like, everyone shoots the messenger.

And then you're the office snitch.

Ugh, I hate to see that.

And that's a label that's very, very hard to get rid of.

Yeah, I would

try and stay out of it.

Yeah.

Also, like, sorry, that's like boring advice.

Yeah.

But it's prudent.

There also could be more that you don't know.

Like, so just leave it alone.

Yeah.

Maybe they're a throuble.

Like, yeah, don't involve yourself.

Like, you know what?

Everything

works itself out in the end.

It really does.

Yeah.

The cream always rises.

And that's our show.

That is our show.

Nobody else's.

Our show.

Nobody else's show.

None whatsoever.

No, we have to realize.

Real House Eyes of Dallas.

Oh, yes.

And the Britney documentary.

That's actually not our show.

Okay, so Real House Eyes of Dallas, super quick,

was such a boring episode, and it was kind of like the worst edit for Tiffany Moon of all time.

Yes, I think it was a boring episode, but it was very illustrative of people's personalities.

And I think that Tiffany Moon has had like a really great season so far and now it's like everything about everything that she did in last night's episode and hosting people in her house like was totally crazy.

She is a control freak and she's not a good host.

No, and she's also a control freak, which is, by the way, like sometimes can be endearing and like you cut, like, you know, if you're self-aware about it, then it's funny, but she was just like going about everything in the wrong way.

And it really reached a pinnacle when she was the reason why Brandy needed to throw up and then also made Brandy put on booties in order to go into the house to throw up.

Like, that was crazy.

Right, because it's not, being a control freak isn't a bad thing, but it's the way that she controls that's so derogatory, I think.

Like, and that's what Cameron was saying, like, when she corrected her grammar.

Like, it's okay to correct someone's grammar, but like it depth, she has this way of like treating, talking to other people like their kids.

Like, you will put your booties on, you will go to the bathroom, you will take your booties off, you will come outside.

Like, it was just very condescending.

So, I think that's what rubbed people the wrong way.

More so, even the way she sent the text message.

Okay, you need to have people out of your house by 11.

As the host, you can make that happen.

You don't have to send a text message like to make people feel unwelcome in your home at 10.31.

Yeah, it was all kind of done in the wrong way.

And also, it takes the fun out of everything.

Like, nobody wants to feel like you're an imposition in someone else's house it's like why am I here if I can't even walk into the house without shoes or I can't go to the bathroom like why did I come here and honestly she should have just had everyone take their shoes off and like give away give out flip-flops or something Yeah,

I respect and I know that it's a really big thing in Asian culture and it makes a lot of sense like you in your dirty subway shoes.

It makes complete sense and to have them wear the booties like through the house when they go to the outside sure.

I just thought that in the moment where Brandy was throwing up like it was extreme.

Agreed.

Like at some point the booties we can forget about it.

Especially because Tiffany felt so terribly that she was the reason why Brandy needed to throw up.

Yeah, and the prank thing,

I think it's, I like the idea of pranking, especially because it's huge in this group of girls, especially with Brandy, obviously.

But it is

a difficult thing when you're pranking somebody with some indeed.

Like say you were allergic.

Say you're allergic.

Say your kosher.

Like if someone put crickets in my food, like that's not okay.

That's not okay.

Yeah, and so I thought like a lot of the people had had different reactions.

Like I thought Deandra like

handled it like the best.

I think mostly she feels protective over Tiffany because she brought her into the group.

So she was like, oh, it's not a big deal.

And then Carrie Brittingham.

But also Deandra, we know, is the most adventurous eater.

Yes.

Carrie Brittingham like was just so annoying.

She's like, I knew it.

I knew it.

Like, no, you didn't, first of all.

You literally had no idea.

She got you 100%.

And then she was just like, she was fine with it.

Like, she was just being, she was just mad because she doesn't like Tiffany.

Like, she's just making things up and like trying to make her feel bad.

Brandy, on the other hand, like, like, that was really unfortunate, you know?

And, like, like that's why you don't do a prank like that.

Right.

So I just felt bad for her because like she tried to get him with like the pranksters and like that's not a good place to start.

No, there's nothing sadder than like a prank on a ride like that.

And she ended it like feeling so bad.

Like Brandy felt so bad.

It was just not well.

It was not good.

Yeah.

I'm like so excited for

Cameron West Scott's new home.

Like I just need her old house as hell and I need to see the inside of the house.

I know.

I love Cameron's home scene so much.

Like first of all, Bruno loves watching fancy.

Like Leo was

Fancy on the Treadmill?

Yeah.

What's Fancy Family?

Right.

Like, accountability coach.

Fancy's in the car.

Like, loves fancy.

And I, I feel like I actually learn a lot about dog training, like, from her scenes with the dog trainer.

So it's, like, typically I would probably be uninterested in like someone's dog.

Like, that's your storyline, but she makes it so funny and interesting.

And I just, like, love her family.

Me too.

And another person whose like family scenes or personal scenes I really like is Stephanie Holman and the Holman Foundation.

Like, just

learning the intricacies of like standard lockers costs $275,000.

Like that's crazy.

And I actually think it's such a nice, I'm like, when they were like, we're going to give away lockers.

I'm like, who needs a locker in their house?

But like she's doing it for schools and colleges that are struggling.

And it's actually such a nice way to give a concept.

Yeah.

And I can't wait to see what the Holman Foundation accomplishes.

Yeah.

No, it's really cute.

And it's cute watching her and Travis work together.

And I love that they do confessionals together because they're always so funny.

Your back is hairy, peach fuzz.

He's like, you're fuzzy.

I'm hairy.

No, they're really, really cute.

I agree.

But it was a crazy

dinner party or it just did not look fun.

No, it did not look funny.

So many rules.

And it's such a fun concept.

And Tiffany's house is so amazing.

Oh, it's so nice.

And I feel like it could have been such a fun night.

And it was just one of those like disaster evenings.

And I found it weird because I think the whole point of the party and Tiffany had said was she really wants to get to know the girls and she wants them to get to know her and she was just like forcing it so much that like every time she shared an anecdote it felt so awkward like when she said like I used to pronounce jalapenos jalapenos like that is a funny thing but like she was just like forcing the conversation on everyone and like everyone was like like no one was talking about that before so the whole thing I felt like she was just really uncomfortable the whole time because I cares and also like when you are a control freak like having people in your house like I feel like I can be that way too where it's like I'm more stressed hosting people than I am like even I feel like when they went and had dim sum like she was so much more relaxed yeah and in your home it's very personal yeah and you have a lot there's like so many things happening and so I think she was really overwhelmed and her intention for the night turned out to be the complete opposite yeah

well We'll see what happens next week.

At least it was interesting and that pizza oven just looks so good.

Yeah.

Oh, and if you're living for Real House House of Dallas, we have a very special moment on the toast tomorrow.

I don't want to spoil anything, but just make sure you check back in with us tomorrow.

Yes, if you're living for Real House House of Dallas, like I'm really,

we're about to do some, we're, we're recording this segment right after this.

We're about to do some investigative fucking journalism.

Diane Sawyer, like Nancy Grace.

We're about to get some answers for you guys.

Grace, just call me Nancy Grace.

Nancy Disgrace Queen.

Nancy Disgrace.

Now I want to talk about the Britney Spears documentary, which is a part of a New York Times series they're doing on FX, and one of the episodes is about Britney.

Oh, there's only one?

What's the series?

It's like a documentary.

It's different things each episode.

What are some of the other episodes?

I didn't look.

Oh, okay.

That's so interesting.

I didn't know that that's what it was.

I haven't watched yet.

The most recent one is Framing Britney Spears.

And I don't really know.

So it's just one short.

It's an hour and 10 minutes.

Oh, okay.

I thought it was just a whole like eighth part.

No, I hate that shit.

Okay, maybe I'll watch it tonight because I know people really want us to talk about it, but you're about to talk about it.

To be honest, I don't really feel like I learned anything new because, you know, we did a deep dive on Free Britney a few months ago.

So I'm pretty well versed.

I grew up listening to Britney.

Like, I remembered a lot of what they were talking about.

The conservatorship stuff is really, really interesting.

And I actually really liked how the documentary like found the people who originally, like, there's a podcast called like Britney's World or something.

Like these two girls who are obsessed with Britney dissecting it.

They came up with the Free Britney movement.

These podcasters were on the New York Times documentary, which I thought was really cool.

And they had legal experts and stuff.

Obviously, for me, while I didn't learn anything new from the documentary, the biggest takeaway was just like, one, like how

Even though the media is the worst, like we've made a lot of progress since like Britney's time.

Like just some of the clips they were showing, her being interviewed by Diane Sawyer her being interviewed by Matt Lauer

jokes that were being made about her in late night David Letterman who like every time I hear something like about David Letterman recently it makes me hate him even more um Jay Leno just the way we spoke about like a 17 year old girl and like it was just so abhorrently disgusting and something like that would never happen again but really the documentary opened my eyes to like how many people owe Britney Spears an apology and like I would really like to start first with well Matt Lauer owes a lot of people but like him honestly and i hate to even point out like the woman but like diane sawyer was so grossly disappointing like the clips they were showing it's just chilling you can't you can't really believe that like someone said this to britney like she's a 17 year old girl crying on this interview and diane sawyer's like what did you do to justin timberlake to like make him so upset Oh, I heard Justin Timberlake comes out looking.

He's on the list of people who owe Brittany apology.

He, like, when they broke up, like, he used it to his advantage, like, literally villainized her so much, insinuated in so many overt ways.

Like, she cheated on him, broke his his heart.

They were like America's sweetheart.

America was very susceptible back in the day to like listening to whatever the tabloid said.

Yes.

So the tabloid narrative was like American royalty.

Like, we don't have royals, but like Britney and Justin together, like, that is American royalty.

And she,

it was never really said, like, why they broke up, but Justin made a music video, Crimea River, like all about Britney cheating on him.

And like, that was kind of the accepted narrative.

And Justin and his camp really drove that home.

And I just want to say.

And that was the start of Britney's, like, it really was the start of her decline.

Wow.

Mental health-wise, wise career wise and the conservatorship is stuff is so is so crazy okay i will watch it now that i know that it's not like this whole long thing just want to say i never liked that song crime river yeah no and we have been really preaching on here like so viciously about how justin timber like is disgraceful and like now there's new york times said it so like it's true no i saw people were like tagging me and stuff about how like this is like that we were saying this first and it's it's nice to um be restored we got like we get a lot of flack for like not being fans of his no i literally despise him and after after the documentary, I hate him even more.

Like he knew exactly what he was doing.

Oh my God, I'm going to hate him so much.

I know.

And the documentary did just make me sad because they have all this behind-the-scenes footage.

And she really was,

and they had people who worked for her as assistants and agents.

She really was what you thought she was.

Southern Belle, like surrounded herself with her family, so funny, talented, nice to everyone, even at the height of her fame, until it took a turn where her mental health was just, and like in all the interviews where like people were talking about her, like they never even said mental health.

Like it was so clear she was struggling with with some sort of like you know mental health issue mental illness and like no one would even acknowledge it you know they just threw her in a conservatorship yeah and the leg the legality now and they catch up to like 2019 and 2020 the legality of the conservatorship is so shady

and they had this woman who at the beginning of like the trials with the conservatorship was on Jamie Spears, the dad's legal team.

And in the middle of the documentary, I guess she got rehired for Jamie Spears, the dad and like they literally had to put up a blurb like she stopped filming because she rejoined the legal team Wow.

Yeah.

So what would be best for Brittany now?

So when people say free Brittany, what do they want for her?

So Brittany's legal team isn't opposing the conservatorship.

They don't want her dad in charge of her money anymore.

Like they don't want him involved at all.

Brittany, and it's, and in the whole documentary, like leading up to her, you know, becoming famous, world tour, he was never around.

Like her mom really took her to all these auditions.

And then when she became famous, she kept her mom and her childhood friends around and her sister.

But like the dad was not in the picture.

picture like he struggled with his business he filed for bankruptcy i believe he went to rehab and so like he was never really in britney's life so now when she's at her lowest and needs a conservator like why would it be the dad yeah so why is it him i don't know and like

they recently got him to not be the conservator of like her business but he is still the conservator of her finances and he takes he gets paid as being the conservator 1.5% of all of Britney's earnings.

And for a while, he was in charge of all of her business.

So he would literally just make her work, work, work, work, work.

And there were those years like when she was doing the Vegas and she had a circus and all those fragrances.

That was when she was on the conservatorship and she was like, quote unquote, like behaving.

And like they would just literally put her out on tour, this project, campaign, commercial, making so much money because Jamie was making money from it.

And like Britney couldn't say yes or no.

Like he was legally allowed to make all of her decisions for her.

So now Britney's case is, I'm sure Brittany doesn't want to be in the conservatorship, but to get it expelled is like legally, one of the lawyers was like, I've never seen it.

So her best chance is just to get her dad removed from it and hopefully like her mom or she asked for a bank like a financial institution to be like the executive whatever of her um conservatorship wow and sam her boyfriend is just like you know has found his voice and now that people are talking about it i'm sure he's like known about this for a while he's like posting on instagram talking to tmz like jamie spears is a dick and what i did learn is that the mom's name is lynn and the dad's name is jamie and then we have jamie lynn spears

so that was was interesting.

That is Jamie Lynn Spears a name?

She wasn't in it whatsoever.

But what I also found interesting was they have a brother like who knew and he went on a podcast once and like kind of spilled major tea.

And like I never heard of the podcast before and I would probably have never known that he did a podcast, but he he was not holding back.

Okay, I'm gonna watch it today guys.

Actually, we have a really busy day, so maybe this weekend.

This weekend.

But yes, I liked it very much.

Even though I didn't learn anything new, it did just make me angry, which I think is what a documentary is supposed to do.

Yeah, or make you feel something, yeah.

Um, so that is actual,

yes.

Thank you guys so much for listening to The Morning Toast, the Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the past five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

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Goodbye.

Goodbye.