S3 Ep201: We Need New Friends: Wednesday, December 9th, 2020

Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the morning toast.

Now I can say happy hump day.

I got my days confused yesterday.

Apologies.

Happy hump day.

But don't forget to hump someone you absolutely love to.

Can you even say it if T-H-E-O is not here?

Well, you actually don't have to spell T-H-E-O because we only do that with me.

But I just want to elongate his name

in his memory because I miss him.

Oh my god, he didn't die.

Chill.

I chilled like a busy afternoon full of like, you know, like two things.

So I didn't want to like drag Theo along to all of that.

I understand the reasoning as I always do.

That's why I'm wearing a blazer.

Like, I just miss him.

I'm wearing a blazer, too, which is just so interesting.

I mean, blazers are like the thing, you know?

Well, this is an interesting blazer because it comes with this sweater built in.

And I wear this blazer outfit because it's a whole outfit, you know?

I don't have to like even think about it.

I wear it like once a year, and I can justify the space it takes up in my closet.

That looks like it takes up a lot of space.

It does, but it's like such a polished professional.

Look, Veronica beard.

I feel like Cameron West got every time I wear Veronica Beard because I feel like she's always wearing Veronica Beard.

Well,

I actually wore a dress by Veronica Beard once and it made my FUPA look so big that I've never forgiven Veronica or her beard.

I mean, what can you do?

Well, you can move on with your life and deliver the Fast Five and have a great show.

We have an amazing show for you guys today.

Not only do we have the Fast Five, we, of course, have our...

Not our really Jackie's recap of the Bacherette because I was unable to watch.

Spoiler alert, worst episode ever.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

Like so fighting words.

Those are fighting words.

So boring.

I'm sorry.

Like Tatia did nothing wrong.

She's a queen still.

The Truckers for Tatia like might be on hiatus today just because like they weren't inspired by last night's episode.

They're on strike.

All of a sudden it's seven guys.

How many

hometowns are we going to?

Like more than four?

I'm so confused because they keep saying the group for hometowns, not the four.

Oh, interesting.

Maybe that was a vibe only I was getting.

Okay.

And then third, we have Deer Toasters, which is our advice segment.

And we have an update from a girl who wrote in, I want to say like over a year ago, and she really kind of shook up the Deer Toasters community.

And people have been asking for an update on the girl who was hiding water.

Well, she saw her boss hiding water in the basement or something.

Boss is like maybe like boss's family members.

So there was

an epitonistic situation.

So there was a lot of confusion as to what he was like hiding supplies for.

And we have an update from her.

So make sure to stay tuned at the end of the show for that.

But lots to do before that.

Lots to do.

before that.

I had just such a torturous day.

Yesterday, I had such a bad migraine on the show.

Yesterday, I don't even remember what was said, what was done.

Just want to leave it in the past.

I went home and I literally was like crying because of the pain.

Crying?

It was so sad.

But Sweets.

He was crying.

Sweets was there beside me, cuddled up beside me, like making it all better.

You don't cried like

a very high tolerance for pain.

The migraine was in my right eye.

Like it was so, so painful.

And I don't know.

Because our schedule was different yesterday, I thought maybe like I just overslept.

So I was having a headache.

So I didn't take my magical pill before the show.

Big mistake, huge.

Like like this morning I woke up feeling off took my magical pill good feeling on oh so on it's nice that you have those pills though it is nice but yesterday was just like strike it from the calendar I had to cancel my whole day oh wow I like had big big plans turned into big big bed big big hands big big hands um no yesterday my timing my biological clock was off because we recorded our show late you guys remember for the Olivia Jade red table talk interview to come out and like my whole day was just like disheveled as fuck it was disheveled like I I got home and it was just like four o'clock and I'm like, what is it time for lunch?

I literally ate lunch at four o'clock and made some amazing pasta.

It was so good.

Oh, yeah.

But I also caught up in the most recent episode of The Flight Attendant, which really

cemented my belief that no one needs to watch the show.

Like I'm already like five episodes in, so I think it's only six episodes.

Like I'm just going to finish it, but like it's really bad.

Apparently it's based on a book.

Oh.

Is that true?

Have you been seeing that in the credits?

No, I don't watch the credits.

So you know, sometimes it says like based on books.

Yeah, no, but like I, I really

have become such a whiz with my Apple TV remote.

Like, I skip intros, skip credits.

Like, I skip the commercial.

Like, I'm such a whiz.

I'm just like, boom, boom, boom.

I actually like watching the intro.

Not every time I watch an episode, but like a lot of the times.

Because I feel like with every episode, I start to understand the intro more and more.

Well, I thought that was going to happen with The Undoing.

Like, it is somehow, or like even with Game of Thrones, like the map was somehow telling you something, but it didn't.

So I've never really gotten an actual clue from an intro.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I just

no clues, but I feel like I start to understand the intro more.

The clues are the show that explain the intro.

Yeah, I guess.

Just so whatever.

It's just not a good show.

Like, you really don't have to watch it.

Okay, I wasn't planning on it, but like, maybe I might have stumbled on it.

But if anyone at HBO is listening, like, I'd love a prequel, like, Kayleigh Cuoco being a fabulous flight attendant, like, being fun and, like, drunk.

Like, that's what was the best part.

The first 20 minutes of the first episode, and then it was just terrible.

Damn.

Yeah.

She was like meeting men all over the world.

And like, like she was like this fun, loving gal.

Not for long, not for long.

We have an amazing show for you guys today.

Stick around to be seen.

I mean, TBD.

You never know how amazing the show is going to be.

No, I'm stunned.

We're on.

I don't want to jinx it.

I don't want to jinx it.

I don't want to jinx it.

We've been on a roll, like a hot streak with just like premium content, left, right, center, up, down.

Can't be stopped.

So much laughter.

So much positive.

And what's so crazy is like the stories, you guys, there's literally nothing out there.

And McGraw.

Sping

how Tim McGraw is decorating his Christmas tree.

Like, oh, how is he?

He's, well, he thinks his wife's trying to kill him because he's all the way at the top of the tree ladder.

That's what I gleaned from

the story.

That's what I gleaned from the story.

I did not click on.

That is so dumb.

Right, that's what I'm saying.

You guys, the stories are worse than ever, but it forces us to get a little creative.

We've got some biz news today.

And you know what?

I just have to, it really, that article that you just...

Take a picture painted a picture for.

It really reminded me, like, the holiday season is when celebrity

publicists are just working overtime.

Like, check in on your friend if she's a publicist because she's been working really hard.

Because, like, I've been seeing so many, like, you have to see Vanessa Hudgens' Christmas decorations.

Like, who cares?

Who cares?

Literally.

Yeah.

Who fucking cares?

I just except I did see Rachel Ray get emotional over her Christmas decor, and that was really sad.

Yeah, because there was a fire.

Yeah, her home in upstate New York got completely burned down.

That's so sad.

I know.

So, I actually, that was some good PR work.

I felt really bad for her.

Well, yeah, I don't know.

I just feel like everyone's trying to hit their deliverables in Q4 always, but especially this year, and it shows.

So, anyways, I think without further ado, it's time to get into the fast five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

And yes, but would it be an episode of the morning toast if we, oh, sorry, I'm dropping my cards.

Oh my god, nerd alert!

Sorry, I just wanted to say

I just want

Wednesdays.

I have a lot of cards because I have the dear toasters in here, too.

And sometimes it's hard to maneuver.

My God,

gotta keep the lights on in here.

But it wouldn't be an episode of The Morning Toast if it wasn't brought to you by Bruch.

And we were just before the show talking about this hilarious Bruch commercial we saw with Kevin Hart.

And it's like, if it's good enough for Kevin Hart's teeth, like the biggest comedian in the world, and Claudia Oschright, the best smile.

And Claudia Oschright, the second biggest comedian in the world, physically, then it's good enough for you, you guys, okay?

Everything of the sort is what people are saying about the Bruch.

The reviews are in.

And they're everything of the sort.

Brushing your teeth can be a chore, but brooching them is fun, and it's 100 times as effective.

Bruch delivers premier sonic wave technology.

It is honestly one of the best electric toothbrushes I've ever used, but they don't have the markups that some of the big electric toothbrushes tack on.

So some electric toothbrushes can cost over $200.

Bruch is much more reasonably priced and we have a coupon.

If you want to get one for yourself or as a gift for the holiday season, you really can get a good price because you can get 15% off your brooch, which is already very reasonably priced, when you use the promo code toast at brush.com.

Bruch is spelled B-R-U-U-S-H.com.

You can try it it in 90 days, risk-free, and get a two-year warranty.

That's bruch.com.

B-R-U-U-S-H.com.

Promo code Toast.

When you get the Bruch kit, which is what me and Jackie both have, we chose like the Millennial Pastel Pink, which is really pretty.

You get the electric toothbrush, plus three brush heads, a magnetic charging station, and a sleek travel case.

And the brush comes with six cleaning modes, daily, white, gentle, gum, tongue, and the max mode.

It's really, they just have a mode for everything.

The battery life stays up for up to four weeks.

It's very cute.

It looks great on your countertop and it works really well.

So, oh, and they give back.

So with every Bruch

refill shipped, Bruch donates oral care supplies through a reason to smile.

So you can feel good knowing that your purchase is going a long way.

Bruch.com, B-R-U-U-S-H.com, promo code toast.

Love it.

Okay, first story, a little cinematic news.

Okay.

Courtney Kardashian will appear in the He's All That remake starring Addison Ray.

You know, I heard about this.

And then also, this this is a great jumping off point to the YouTube video you sent me.

Yes, okay.

But first, Courtney revealed that she's joined the cast of He's All That, which is a remake of the beloved 1999 film, She's All That.

The remake will be starring TikTok personality and Kardashian best friend, Addison Ray.

Courtney posted a picture of herself reading the script saying, studying at He's All That Movie, and then Addison

commented on it, Work Partner.

The official Instagram account for the movie revealed Kardashian's character's name is Jessica Miles Torres.

It's unclear what role she will be in.

I feel like she's someone's like older sister from college.

You think?

I feel like she's literally not even going to have, well, she had a script, so she'll have one line.

Right.

But I don't think she's going to have like an actual role.

So I have been very positive about the Kardashian, Courtney Kardashian, Addison Wright friendship.

Like people on the internet have just been like so mean, like, this is weird.

She's 19 and she's 50.

Like, I really don't care.

I get the friendship.

I don't think it's that weird, but like, this is taking it like a little far.

Do you think this is what's taking it a little bit far?

It's a little weird.

I feel like if you can get on board with the friendship, like this is just like friends working together, which I support.

Like, I guess it's nice of Courtney because like this is Addison's first

free feature film.

So Courtney like attaching her name to it in any way is like a sign of support in Hollywood.

I think it's like a it's a nice thing that you do for someone.

But I don't know, something I've never reported on news of them and like wanted to be like, their friendship is weird.

But like this is starting to give me like weird vibes.

Oh, this only gives me weird vibes because I can't see Courtney Kardashian as an actress.

Oh, I mean, she's actually, they have done over the years,

they have cameoed in like a few things, the Kardashians.

And it's never, it's never it.

I actually watched that show, Dave, because your husband told me to watch it.

And Courtney was in it like three times.

Was she good?

Unmemorable.

I just feel like they're always playing Kardashians.

Yes, she was playing herself.

Oh, then that's good, but she's not playing herself here.

Oh, is that for sure?

For sure.

The Instagram account for He's All That revealed the name of her character.

Oh, what was it again?

Jessica Miles Torres.

Oh, yeah, that's true.

I guess I haven't ever seen her act in anything where she was playing a character.

She was always playing herself.

Right, that's what I'm saying.

So, I don't know.

This kind of like makes me feel like the movie's

fake.

Sort of, but it's not.

Like, it's big blockbuster.

Did you see last week they like shut down Union Station in LA to film, but it's a major COVID testing site, and they got like all this backlash.

Oh, that's bad.

Deservedly so.

Of course.

That's bad.

Oh my God.

By the way, things are really happening.

Speaking of COVID, like I hate to even address and like say her name here, but I went to Dwayne Reed today because I've been like on this journey of trying new seltzer.

Today I'm trying the polar lemon seltzer.

I love polar.

Yeah, the lemon is not it.

It tastes like pine salt in a bottle.

You just don't like lemon.

That's not true because I love lemon LaCroix and I love lemon bubbles.

It's always coming for lemon.

No, no, this is just pine solely vibes.

But I was in there today and they had a sign on the window that said we don't have the COVID vaccine yet.

Like, so people, like, I guess have been coming in, but like, that means it's coming.

It's coming.

I was reading news reports as soon as this weekend, people in the U.S.

could start to get it.

Okay, I want to say, um, I saw a couple videos of like the first people, the first old woman in the UK, and I think

with her sweater.

They were so fucking cute.

Like, I wanted to cry.

Did you see that the second, or one of the early people in the UK who got his vaccine?

His name was William Shakespeare.

Shut the fuck up.

That was by Bill.

No, I didn't see that.

But those videos are so cute.

Yeah, no really really cute it's so exciting really quickly back to addison rice sorry that was like a derailment i just love her so much and i'm so happy for her um but you sent me this youtube video from her channel that she just put up it was like the truth about us very clickbaity but i guess it was like the first time her and bryce since they've rekindled their romance have like confirmed the relationship and i thought like all week they've been confirming with like their sexy post together.

I didn't know it was even up in the air, like or up for debate.

Right.

They did like a really like a video that stressed me out on so many levels it was q a while we work out like what while we work out in masks that are on our chin the whole time like the chacne yeah and chacne my chin was just take it off my chin was sweating watching the video like yeah i'm not even joking you it was giving me like so much chin anxiety and they were like so fake working out like yeah no like answer the questions then work out two could be two separate videos like it was so much but anyways let's get to the meat of the video which was their relationship being confirmed and like them just being like so lovey-dovey They're really into each other Yeah, I guess I just I stand firmly in my belief that like Addison Ray can do so much better on so many levels I know but like the heart wants what it wants and her heart wants Bryce

seem like I know

like I was watching the video and I was like this queen like yeah, like this is the guy right, but This what the queen chose.

I guess, but like, I don't know.

I just, I want more for her.

And maybe that's just me having really high expectations.

But also, she's so young.

Like, just let, I feel like, let her do, you know, not like, I'm not wishing that they break up, but like, things change over time.

People change.

Like, she'll grow into whatever's meant to be.

Okay.

You know?

I just think that's.

And she seemed really happy.

Yeah.

Okay.

And if you, if you stand, you have to, like, stam what makes her happy.

Okay, that's probably true.

You know?

I just.

I stand Addison and I want her to be like as famous as possible.

Like, I want her to just break all the bounds of like social media stardom.

Like I want all this for her and I just want it all to go right.

And I just, I don't know if Bryce is like the place is like where it's going to happen.

One, I feel like it's all going right.

Two, I feel like she needs to move at a speed that is sustainable.

Yes.

And she's well on her way.

Like I think this movie, He's All That,

He's All That.

He's All That.

He's All That.

Cause the other ones.

Yeah.

I'm like.

Okay.

I think this movie, He's All That is going to be a really big movie.

Is it on a streaming service?

Like, is it a media?

My

studio.

Who knows what will be by the time it comes out, but I think it's gonna be like super popular and big.

Okay.

Well,

I'm hearing Oscar buzz just saying.

Oh, please.

Speaking of trailers, you know, they're filming something on my block, and my doorman told me Selena Gomez was right outside my building yesterday all day because she's in the movie.

Oh, my goodness.

Or TV show.

I don't know what it was.

Check out her IMDB.

Find out what it is.

Maybe you could get a little cameo in the background.

Yeah, no, I keep walking Theo like near the trailers.

I'm like, maybe they're gonna need like an extra or something.

Or like a perfect man.

Yeah, no, Theo's like a real showstocker.

Yeah.

The lead guy.

Or maybe, like, I don't know, the lead girl gets a dog.

I don't know.

Like, Theo could become a star.

Or they need a doctor on set.

Right.

There's a medical emergency.

Dr.

Fichemon.

So many potential opportunities for Theo.

Just keep walking him there.

You got it.

Yeah.

I think Selena would love him.

I concur.

I mean, who wouldn't?

Who wouldn't?

Are you ready for our next very little royal bedbews?

Yes, ma'am.

Queen Elizabeth's granddaughter, Zara Tyndall, is pregnant.

Explain to me who she is in the lineage.

I will.

Zara, the daughter of Princess Anne.

You know her from the crown.

She's the one.

Princess Anne.

Yeah, yeah.

She is like so.

Charles' sister.

Yes, exactly.

And the granddaughter of Queen Elizabeth is expecting another baby with her husband, who is a retired rugby pro named Mike Tyndall.

That's so cute.

What a cute little marriage.

Yeah, she probably has like a good amount of balance in her life.

Wait, not only is this Royal Bebe news, but the retired rugby star Mike revealed the pregnancy in a new episode of his podcast,

The Good, the Bad, and the Rugby.

Oh, that's a great podcast name, first of all.

Second of all, we love the medium getting the respect it deserves.

And I love

the podcasting industry, like infiltrating Buckingham Palace.

I love to see it.

Who would have to see it?

I love to see it.

Like, the queen's granddaughter is married to a podcaster.

Anything can happen, you guys.

You guys, anything can happen.

So it goes queeny vibe, the lineage, queenie vibe, princess ann, Zara, Bebe on the way.

But they have two daughters already.

Mia Grace and Lena Elizabeth.

Wow.

This next little one will mark the queen's ninth great-grandchild.

Oh my God.

What a legacy she's left.

What?

She's still here.

Sorry.

Yes.

What a legacy, period.

End of sentence.

Yes.

Totally.

I just love a little Royal Bed Ben news.

And a little podcasting news.

To have the RBN and the podcasting news be merged as one.

It doesn't happen ever.

Ever.

It's never happened before.

It's historic.

Except actually when Kate was on podcasts, like at the beginning of quarantine.

Like Kate of William and Kate.

Yeah.

I remember we reported that and we were just like excited for the Royal Podcast crossover.

It really has been, not to get all sappy because it's December, it's been an amazing year for the podcasting industry.

Yeah, it really has been.

I would love to see how many podcasts there were at the end of 2019 versus how many at the end of 2020 because literally everyone has started a podcast from famous people to non-famous people.

Yes, you know, I was out to dinner with my friends and they were, one of them told me that his friend started a podcast like just not for the sake of like getting famous.

I'm like, camera late, but like, just like for the sake,

for the sake of like having a patent out podcast.

Yeah, no, I thought that was so cool.

You're right, everyone has a podcast.

Yeah, no, it is cool.

It's a great, it's a great medium.

We can't stress it enough.

Yes, and thanks for listening, by the way.

Yeah, thanks.

There's so many out there.

Thank you for taking, choosing to spend your time with us.

Yeah, we appreciate it.

No, we really, really do.

Especially as there are more and more podcasts.

So many to choose from.

It's really an honor.

Thank you.

Truly.

Okay, next story.

A little Carl Lentz news.

A little CLN?

Yes.

There has been a lot of Carl Lentz news that, like, if we picked up all the Carl Lentz news, we would literally be the morning Carl Lentz.

We would be the mentor.

Which honestly sounds like a great show.

And I'm not going to lie, at certain points in time, we've definitely been the morning lentz.

Oh, for sure.

But Tyler Perry has put $100,000 towards paying Carl Lentz's L.A.

rent.

What?

Tyler Perry dropped nearly $100,000, so disgraced Hillsong pastor Carl Lentz.

And his father's.

They went went from calling him like former pastor, disgraced, my god, disgraced King, Carl Lentz.

The media is so dramatic.

Like he didn't kill anyone.

No, no, no, no, but like in for what he does,

he has disgraced his family

and his church

by his moral failure.

That's true.

And apparently there was more than one.

There was that

audio.

If you're into the Lentz family drama, then there's so much.

There's so much.

But Tyler Perry dropped nearly $100,000, so Carl Lentz and his family could live in a luxury LA mansion.

The UK's son is reporting.

Tyler Perry covered six months of rent up front on the 5,000 square foot five-bedroom Manhattan Beach home where Lentz and his family moved after unloading their New Jersey home days before he was sacked from the mega church for infidelity.

So

that's the thing.

It's like when you're a part of these churches, like your whole life is paid for by the church, your home, your car.

So when you leave the church, like you have literally nowhere to go.

Right.

But Tyler Perry and Carl Lentz are friends.

and Tyler Perry is helping him during this difficult time.

That's really nice.

I mean, anytime we talk about Tyler Perry on here, it's usually about his philanthropic efforts.

And I'm just like, so

I just love him.

Yeah, no, always constantly impressed by him.

And this is just a nice thing for a friend to do for another friend.

So is Tyler Perry a member of Hillsong?

Like, is that how he knows Carl?

Unclear.

Unclear.

I'm curious on the

relationship.

The source says that Tyler has been friends with Carl and his wife for years and is sticking by them and their kids during this difficult time.

So they might just be friends.

Yeah.

Outside of church.

Wow, I mean, that's just crazy.

And I need friends like Tyler Perry, you know?

Right.

Because I could really use six months in a beach house.

Like, that's just, I've had a rough year.

Like, I need a beach house.

And I think Tyler Perry knows that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And also, like, your friends need to step up to the plate.

Yeah, no, it's like none of my friends have like ever gifted me six months of rent in a beach house.

And I just feel like I need to reevaluate like my choices like to how I got here like with this particular group of friends.

And what hurts even more is knowing that they probably won't even hear this.

So fucking true.

And you know what I am scheduled to see them this evening.

So I might just bring it up, like start some drama.

I think you should come in with a list of things yeah you'd like to see from your friends in the new year you're gonna see me tomorrow i'm gonna be friendless as

okay are you ready for our next story it's a little biz news a little ipo news wait a little ipo news brought to you by jenny kane is that the one yes oh what a coincidence this is like one of those coincidences we've been talking about one of those like doubles yeah jenny kane believes in creating everyday pieces that are made to last forever polished basics and home pieces that will never go out of style.

Jenny Kane's secret to an effortless and elevated home and wardrobe is timeless classics and inviting neutrals that focus on comfort without sacrificing style.

Yes, I actually have quite a few pieces in my home by Jenny Kane.

I have these fabulous candles that smell delicious, but are just like the holsters are so cute.

I'm almost done with one of them.

I'm going to hollow it out and like make like a makeup jar or something.

And then I also have this fabulous like nude cardigan that's just like so Taylor Swift, like standing on her Rhode Island house, pacing the rocks, staring out at the midnight sea.

Yeah.

The pieces from Jenny Kane are like so stylish and so basic, but in a good way.

Like because I don't really dress so crazy.

I have a design, classic, casual I have a white sweater like this perfect shade of ivory that's like the perfect winter white and it's so comfy and so stylish so soft too get you a sweater that can do both from wardrobe essentials to everything that makes your space feel like home these are timeless pieces that everyone will love their signature pieces are their mules which come in leather suede shearling and more which is the classic shoe that started it all they also have the chelsea and canyon boots in leather suede oiled leather and shearling and their fisherman and cocoon from cashmere to cotton they have fabulous products for your feet for your body for your home check out jenny kane really if you're looking to have like that curated like mood like lauren elizabeth style it's like so neutral and so element like i've been really trying to like make my home as like curated a vibe as possible and these timeless pieces from jenny kane are really helping and if you're looking for your forever pieces and you want to get 20 off your first order use the code toast at checkout The website is jennykane.com.

The code is toast for 20% off your first order.

And you can spell Jenny Kane, J-E-N-N-I-K-A-Y-N-E dot com, promo code toast for 20% off your first order.

Check it out.

Okay, ready for our IPO news?

Yes, who's going public?

DoorDash.

DoorDash is making its trading debut Wednesday after raising $3.37 billion in an initial public offering with Airbnb's IPO set to follow within hours.

By the way, I feel like DoorDash is literally like the newest company.

Like, we've had Seamless and Grubhub and Uber Eats and Postmates for so long.

And I really only remember starting to hear about DoorDash.

At like Revolve Festival.

Yeah, like a year ago, maybe.

Two years ago at Coachella.

I feel like that was the first time I had heard of it, but maybe that's just because it wasn't big in New York.

By the way, that is exactly where I first heard about it.

You're right.

At Revolve Festival.

Look at Revolve, like so.

So pop in the biz news.

But Bloomberg is saying the biggest U.S.

food delivery company.

DoorDash, is part of a cadre of consumer-facing web-based businesses that have successfully navigated the coronavirus pandemic and are expected to go public this month.

Well, so

what's the landscape of current Uber Eats types of programs?

Seamless and Grubhub are now one.

Yes.

Uber Eats Eats is owned by Uber, obviously.

Yes.

Who owns Postmates?

Someone, I think, bought it.

Postmates.

Yeah,

they're all getting snatched up.

They're monopolizing.

Yeah.

It's a monopoly.

Which one do you use the most?

I'm so loyal to Uber Eats.

It's crazy.

Last night it was Uber Eats, but I feel like I initially, I just always assume Postmates is the best, but then I'm always let down.

Like, they're always showing me the same three restaurants, and it's like there's got to be more out there.

I concur.

I think in New York, I think Postmates is the worst app.

People in LA are like, I postmated this, I postmated that.

And I think they use it in the way that we use like Uber Eats or Seamless because there's nothing on Postmates in New York.

Yeah, but Postmates is still that only app.

And I feel like this is what it started as.

And now they've just gotten like so far from what they were.

Like, it used to be like, I need anything in this world.

Duct tape.

Like, please go to Dwayne Read for me.

And I still use it sometimes if I need something like an emergency Yes

Pharmacy delivery.

Yes, when I was in Miami I post-mated Advil to the restaurant right uber eats doesn't do like pharmacy deliveries like that or Uber gas station or groom

Yes Yes Uber now has groceries but Uber when like a few years ago used to have a service called uber rush and that was absolutely everything of the sort It was truly just a messenger service so if you know like I remember being downtown at dinner and I realized I left my license uptown.

Ben put my license like in an envelope in a bag, left it with our doorman.

And you could pay someone like 10 bucks usually on a bicycle to just shuffle items back and forth.

And I guess it wasn't that popular because they got rid of it like shortly after it launched.

But I just want, I'd want to go on record saying like I was the number one customer for Uber Rush because I was like always leaving my things everywhere.

Yeah.

And I just loved Uber Rush so much and just like the premise of like a courier service.

Yeah, no, but I guess it wasn't, it wasn't lucrative.

No.

Not like food delivery, especially this year.

Food delivery is booming and apparently DoorDash is the best in the biz.

So congratulations on their IPO and you know what's so funny like when we first start when we were podcasting in the beginning of quarantine saying how we haven't been ordering in so much like we've been cooking so much and I really want that to like stay I'm like fully back on my ordering in like three times a day grind and I have no regrets yeah I need to go back like swing back the other way a little bit but it was hard to maintain it was I do feel like I'm better than I was like this time last year yeah but I have gotten back to ordering like what are we gonna order tonight no I know like

what am I gonna make yeah and I'm no longer like hoarding kosher meat in my my freezer like i'm just yeah my freezer got really backed up for a while like i ran out of freezer space yes so i have to start ordering in i'm like fully traumatized by my fucking freezer like but there's just like so much action and like you have to like it's tetris yeah it's tetris like this one

It's fucking Tetris, like trying to make like the popsicles.

And it's just something weird about like having your ice cream next to raw meat.

Like I'm really like over my freezer.

And just like conceptually, I need multiple freezers.

Like one for meat products, one for dairy products.

I just think it's gross.

One for liquor.

they treat so much that big Tito's yeah the jugs um so actually I was having freezer fatigue as well for the last few months and when we moved we had to go we had to like bring the freezer items to the new apartment and so it forced us to go through everything and now like my freezer game is on point there's just like literally stuff in my freezer

put another thing in it wow i can't there's literally things in my freezer that have been there like since i moved in and i don't know why i'm like sentimental and by the way i also keep like my jade roller and my ice roller in there it's just disgusting in the fridge.

No freezer.

I find that it doesn't hold any coldness when it's in the fridge.

Oh, I keep mine in the fridge and I already feel like they're so cold.

Mind you, the only time I've used it is when I was carrying my fridge items to my new apartment.

So I saw it at the top of the bag and I was like, this feels good.

No, because the one time I used a jade roller, I went too hard in the middle of my head and I gave myself a migraine.

And, you know, you never forget.

I don't know if I would blame the jade roller here, but.

No, no, I'm just saying, like, why would I put myself in that situation again when realistically, the jade roller doesn't do shit.

Sure, sure, sure.

Like, I've seen everyone who uses a jade roller.

You look the same before and after.

Sorry, I said it.

It's one of the truest things you've ever said.

Except I have been on my ice roller game for like de-puffing, and there is magic in ice.

Yes, because like ice is like one of those elements of the earth that's like

has a purpose.

Yes, like I guess jade and rose quartz are elements of the earth too.

Yeah, but your jade roller for $11 on Amazon doesn't have real jade in it.

Here's the thing.

The best thing about the jade roller is the fact that it's cold.

So Jesse is an ice roller.

I roller.

And the ice roller is so much bigger and it feels so good.

So good.

When you have a migraine and you rub that ice roller over your eyes, it's there's Belissima, nothing like it.

Okay, ready for our fifth and final story?

It's a little tech news.

A little TN?

I'm being so annoying.

Sorry.

Yeah, like, cause,

you know, I just like, I love when you do it when it's like so good.

Right, like sad royal news.

Soyl news, SRN.

Yeah.

But like tech news, we could just say tech news.

Yeah, like some interesting chess news.

Would you consider it biz news or no?

No, you know, I wouldn't because I really think it's tech.

Okay.

And I think you'll feel the same way once I tell you finally what it is.

This is such a robust, really nothing happened in the celebrity worlds in the last 24 hours.

Yeah, no, we go in waves of like a branching out of the celeb world.

I just have to say I love talking about like biz and tech news.

So lay it on me.

Apple has new AirPod Max headphones.

I'm fucking done with Apple.

Like literally, this story.

No, no, this made me mad.

This story is like just really interesting tech news, which is why we're talking about it here at the Morning Toast.

Apple has announced their new AirPods Max, which are wireless noise-canceling headphones.

So we know the AirPods, we know the AirPods noise-canceling.

Now they have like legit-ass headphones

that cover your ears.

You're back to square one.

Cover your ears and do the thing on top, but they're Bluetooth, so that's like how they're different.

I'm just saying like that.

And they're noise-canceling and they cost $549.

They literally like shook up our world, forcing us to get AirPods, removing the headphone jack from phones, like literally just like we all had no choice but to get AirPods.

And then we got them.

We're like, okay, they're not so bad.

It's actually like they're actually fucking sweet.

Yeah.

Now we're going back.

We're reverting.

I don't care if it's wireless.

I'm just so done with Apple just making these decisions about how we're all.

Unilaterally.

Yeah.

About like how we're all going to behave technologically.

And like, we're just robots.

We just do what they say.

Like, mark my words, in six months, like, I will have these and I will love them.

Cause like, I am a fucking slave to the Apple.

Yeah.

I don't know, but I had to use those noise-canceling AirPods.

AirPods.

They're all right, but now like my AirPods.

Stop working.

Stop working.

They gave up on me.

No.

They were like, you've had these two liters.

Let's get get a new pair.

No, no, it's like, I will, you'll see what I'll do.

It's literally Tim Cook getting on his computer and being like, here are all the people who

take care of their things and they're still working after many years.

And who haven't bought the new AirPods or the new iPhone?

Click, all your products are breaking because if you don't have the new one, then literally, it's always the second they announce a new product, my product that's literally one version earlier just stops working.

Yeah.

So that's the latest in tech news.

Like, we're back to headphones.

We're back to headphones.

Yeah, I guess they're all the technical terms, earphones, earbuds.

Yeah, no, they look like bows or beats.

Like, it's just,

I don't need them, but just literally play this episode.

But thanks for offering.

Play this episode for me in two, like four months when I have them.

Yep.

Yep, yep.

Should we do our bachelorette recap?

Are you ready?

Yeah, I mean, just get all we need is one minute.

Yeah, I didn't watch

because I was just like busy.

But I did see some content online.

I spoke to the snatcher.

She gave me like a whole rundown on the silliness of the lie detector test.

How like, you know, Zaxi cheated on someone, dot, dot, dot, in the sixth grade.

Yeah.

And I just, I'm actually, upon hearing the recap, was so glad I didn't waste my time.

No, no, no.

Like it was so fruitless because the only, oh no, she did have a roast ceremony and people went home.

Anyone notable went home or no?

Like not really, but Bennett went home.

Like she sent Bennett home when there was a two-on-one, but then at the end of the night, like he returned.

So, I mean, I didn't need for him to return.

Talk about a fall from grace, like for Bennett.

Right.

I can't believe there's already only seven guys left.

I'm really so shocked that Blake Moings is still there.

Talk about a fall from grace.

Yeah, no.

I mean, when I think of him and Tayshia, I feel like those are two people who have never spoken.

Right.

So he just has sort of like skated along and didn't get in trouble.

And so he's still around.

But I just don't see it for him.

And it's just like he started.

So who's around?

Noah, Blake, Ben,

Zach,

Ivan.

Is that Brendan still around who had the one-on-one earlier?

Yes, Brent.

I like him.

I think Ed went home finally.

Finally.

Oh, my God.

The cartoon.

Like, I was so done with him.

Yeah.

And then there was one other guy.

Riley.

Yes.

Oh, I like Riley.

He shared his story with Tayshia.

And it was because the lie detector test caught him on a lie.

And so it was worth explaining.

And he really opened up and he's like, he was so excited.

What was the lie?

So he changed his name because they asked him, like, we're gonna ask you some baseline questions, like, what's your name?

And he gave his name, and then it was like,

Oh my God.

And he was explaining how he was named after his dad, and they had like just his story about growing up, how they were so close.

And then he did some things that, like, he didn't agree with.

And it was sort of like creating this rift with his mom.

And eventually, he changed his name so that he didn't have the same name as his dad.

Yeah.

Okay, so, like, really not a big deal.

No, but just like something, you know, he was sharing.

He was opening up.

Yeah.

Also, Ben had a one-on-one with Tayshia, and he opened up even more about his past and his struggles.

Um,

and it was really, really like honest and brave of him to do so.

Like, that he had attempted suicide, right?

And he was talking about his sister was so cute because he was saying his sister, like, got him through everything, but she doesn't even know, like, how much she got him through.

Like, watching the show last night is probably how she found out that what he even struggled with, right?

Oh, wow, that's so interesting.

Yeah, I feel like probably more than ever, this for better and for worse, this is like the most honest season.

Of course, like everyone who comes on a TV show and just everyone in life has a story.

Yeah.

No one's life is perfect.

Everyone has been through hard things.

I just feel like this season more than ever, like all of that is like being brought to light.

Yeah, but it also makes me sad because obviously only one man will win.

I have no idea who that will be.

I have no idea.

But like for the other six people, except for Blake Moynes, because he really still hasn't opened up.

So for the other six people.

You went from like literally loving Blake Moynes to like being confused by him.

No, I just like because of how excited I was about him, it's like now

he really let me down.

So these other five guys who are giving everything that they have to Tayshia, leaving it all on the table, being braver than they've ever been before and sharing like really personal things,

they're going to go home.

Four of them are not five

with nothing to show for it.

I mean, I'm sure they'll say like, you know, that it definitely got them like having their guard down and they'll go into their next relationship more open, but it just like hurts me to think that like,

but that always happens and it's no one's fault yeah i just feel like the stuff the guys are opening up about this particular season just seems like darker and heavier yeah we don't usually get this kind of stuff from everyone right but maybe that's just like a testament to how taysia is just such bringing it out like and really the when she talks to the guys like everything she says is just like so warm and exactly what you would want to hear and so i could understand just like spilling your guts you know i'm talk to her and i'm like literally want to show her like everything inside my soul yeah she is that type of person.

By the way, I definitely agree with that.

Yeah.

So maybe that's what, maybe it's not the guys, it's the person who's bringing it down in them.

Because I feel like Claire, for the five minutes we had her, was like begging the guys to like, the guys she had just met to like literally bear their soul and just like tell them everything they've ever met.

There was so much like friction.

And it was like tug of war to get it out.

But you can't.

Force it.

You can't force it.

Yeah.

I feel like Tatia just like has this quality that like people just want to share things with her.

Yeah, and I think I like I feel like I know people like that.

Yeah, and that's just a really great human quality.

Yes, I agree.

It's like this warmth and energy that like invites people in.

Yes.

I don't think I would say that I have that quality.

No, but you have so many other like fabulous qualities.

Amazing qualities.

Like I'm so happy with my qualities.

My qualities are the best.

Then there was the lie detector, which I actually always like a lie detector.

I'll never forget on Andy Dorfman's season, they took a lie detector test and it caused so much strife with her and Josh Murray like after they got engaged.

Can I ask you a question?

Was the lie detector administrator the guy from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills?

No, it was JoJo Fletcher.

She knows how to use a machine?

So she added, there was like a laptop and it was like a screensaver of like pulses.

Like literally, it was like a video.

They didn't have a tech.

They put like a video from YouTube on full screen and it had like the pulse lines that are like from a heart monitor.

There was no tech on the

tech on like that we saw.

And basically, so they had all wires hooked up and their little YouTube video playing and then there was three lights on the side red, yellow, green.

The person answered the question like in front of the group and then if it was a lie went red.

If it was Miffy, I think about yellow.

Or was there only two?

I don't know.

My perception was skewed.

And then green was green.

Okay, because what I wanted to say about the guy who administered Lisa Vanner Pump's lie detector test in like the years he's like the go-to.

Yeah, I've seen him on David Dobrik's YouTube channel.

I've seen him all over YouTubers' channels.

And that's what Kyle and the girls were saying.

Like Like, this guy's like an actor.

And they sounded crazy, but now, like, seeing his career as like the go-to YouTube lie detector, there's definitely something like shady about him.

The go-to

just reality TV lie detector guy.

Where'd you see him?

I saw after the fact like that he had been on other shows.

Yeah, now like I know his face.

Yeah.

And that was a shady lie detector test for sure.

I mean, there was nothing shadier than the one administered by Jojo Fletcher last year.

Yeah, totally.

But so she's still the host.

Do they say how much longer she's going to be there for?

No, she didn't, but she was doing like a great job.

It was always just like fun to see her.

Yeah, honestly, like I'm into like the shake-up and energy, like

host-wise.

Yeah, but it did feel like the campers were at camp and the counselors were gone.

No, the campers are running the camp.

Yeah, they let like a JC watch the bunk, but things are going haywire.

That's what it felt like, just saying.

Okay, so I'll get back on watching last week.

I mean, no rush.

No rush.

No, I know.

I'm just like,

I feel like you could skip one more week if you needed to and then come back for hometowns.

Yeah.

Because like still things are so unclear.

if i had to place a bet about who i think would win

i'm gonna say zaxi

you would

yeah okay she gives everyone so much love i'm like so unclear on who the frontrunner is

maybe brendan but like who did jimmy kimmel guess does he still i don't know this whole season has been so i just want to say like jimmy kimmel is like you know like 34 30 on guessing um bachelorette winners and it's like yeah no doubt you work for abc like they obviously give you the winner no but i feel like they actually don't because that would be like a clear spoiler.

I just don't know how you could literally know every single one after the first episode.

Yeah.

Apparently his wife helps and she's like, that's just a talent of hers.

I mean, like Taisha is like, just like Tatia is like super warm and you want to spill your gut.

It's like Jimmy Kimmel's wife can pick back chart winners.

Tatia's first impression rose guy went home last night, right?

Spencer?

Yes.

So it's like, how would anyone have guessed?

Let's say Zach C wins.

Like, how would anyone have guessed that?

I don't know, based on the conversations from the first minute.

It's just confusing.

Maybe it is Zach C who wins.

I don't know, but he cheated on someone in the sixth grade.

I know.

And by the way, did you feel, Mark?

When I, when Margo, The Snatcher, gave me her full recap, she told me that she thought that that was a lie.

Wow.

Like, he got caught on the line and he just made something up.

She said what she said.

She said what she said.

She doesn't hold back, which is why The Snatcher is an amazing award-winning podcast that you should listen to if you want more bachelor tea.

And also, like, she knows everything about the bachelor world, like, who's doing what on TikTok, who's embarrassing themselves.

And if you know who's embarrassing themselves, and I hate to say it because I've been seeing him a lot on TikTok.

And it's not that the content's bad, it's just like there's something about joining TikTok before your season's over that just gives me like a really bad vibe.

And it's been

damn.

Well, if you want more information like that, head to the Snatcher because she knows all.

Now for our Deer Toasters, everyone's been waiting for.

We have two new Deer Toaster submissions.

And then I will give you our update.

And our Deer Toasters is brought to you by Legacy Box.

The most brilliant product.

I can't believe I didn't think of it myself.

A safe and affordable way to digitally preserve all your home movies and photos that are currently trapped on dated formats like VHS or film.

This is, first of all, a great thing to get someone for the holiday season or just like for yourself.

We for years had like boxes and like bins of just like VHS cassettes and like who the hell knows how to do that?

Legacy Box is the most genius service on the planet.

You can reclaim all the priceless footage you haven't been able to see in years.

It's so simple, the service.

Use their kit to safely send the moments you want to preserve.

Their team will create a digital archive by hand.

Then you'll receive your new copies stored on the cloud, a thumb drive or DVD, you get to choose, along with all the original media that you sent them.

So you get the original stuff back, but then you get it digitally preserved on a thumb drive or a D V D.

With their tracking system, you can monitor every step of the process so you always know your originals are being taken care of.

Over the past 10 years, Legacy Box has helped close to 1 million families restore and protect their most cherished memories.

And right now they're offering 60% off so you can have everything preserved at once for a fraction of the regular price.

Once you have these digital versions, you can relax knowing that they'll be secured for generations.

That's so true.

I feel like boxes of like VHS is like piling up.

It's just like

you, you feel like you're never going to be able to see that stuff again and like you almost part ways with it emotionally.

But to see it brought back to life is crazy.

Like getting your hands and actually turning on those videos is so crazy.

And if you're like similar age to us, like your whole life was like a camcorder growing up.

And it's just crazy to see.

So it's really like such a nice gift to get for your parents or like someone you love in your family.

It's something you can order in minutes and enjoy forever.

It is the best deal of the year.

So we have the code for you guys.

Go to legacybox.com/slash slash toast and take advantage of this limited time offer and get 60% off.

The exclusive offer won't last long, so order their kit now and send it whenever you're ready.

So just because you order the kit doesn't mean you have to send it in now, but if you want to get the 60% off, order the kit now and send it in when you're ready.

It's a sale to remember.

Go to legacybox.com slash toast and save 60% while supplies last.

Okay.

Dear toasters, our advice segment, if you ever want to write in, the email is deartoasters at gmail.com.

We always keep it anonymous.

We'll never write you out.

so here we go.

Hi, Claudia and Jackie.

I need some advice on a situation with my fiancé.

About a few months ago, I realized that my fiancé had begun smoking weed.

I can smell it on him occasionally and I have found a few empty tubes lying around.

We live in California, so it's legal.

I have a feeling he does not want me to know because he doesn't think I would approve.

However, this isn't the case.

I really don't care either way.

I have no interest in smoking with him, but I could care less if he does.

What I don't like is the fact that he hides it.

I kept telling myself that eventually he would tell me or that I would end up catching him.

We live on an acre of property, so there are places he can hide.

He will randomly tell me that he needs to go to our shop to turn off the lights in the greenhouse, which I know is not true.

Then he comes back to the house smelling.

I hate confrontation, and just the thought of randomly bringing it up gives me so much anxiety.

What should I do?

Is there an easier way that I can bring it up with it where it's not so awkward?

Please help.

Thank you.

You seem cool.

I just have to say, like,

we'll give you advice, but you seem like a...

a cool gal.

I like you.

I feel like you just need to randomly bring it up, you know?

Like, it's weird that he's hiding it from you.

And

I'm sure it's like a source of anxiety for him that he feels the need to hide it from you.

I don't know why he does, but like for him to know that you don't care would just, I feel like, take a weight off of him and bring you guys closer together.

Yeah.

So on the one hand, it's like you don't need to sit him down and have a serious conversation, even though like the part about him sneaking around just makes him like, oh, he's sneaky.

He's capable of sneaking.

Right.

That's always like telling of other behaviors, which like I hate to be like so pessimistic.

It also seems like he's not very good at it.

Right.

So if something was going on, you would know.

Right.

And it's good, like, it's good to know that your man's, like, not good at being sneaky.

Yeah, and I just, like, really appreciate your kind of mature view.

Like, I hate girls who are, like, mad when their boyfriends smoke pot.

They're like, dude, are we 11 years old?

Like, let him, he's an adult.

Do whatever he wants.

He can be doing meth.

Like, who cares?

It's fucking pot.

Like, it's not a big deal.

Yeah.

I just hate when people are like so protective.

So I, you sound cool.

I just want to say like.

Yeah, so I think there's two ways you could go about it.

Like one, he comes in from the greenhouse.

You're sitting there, lamp overhead.

Where have you been?

Yeah, you, that would be making it weird just come in and be like why are you being such a freak i know you're smoking pot you could do it in the house as long as you do it in the house honey right or you could like go out get a j bring it home be like hey let's have a night together like smoking oh no that's that's too much acting when you have to act and like literally put a script together just to confront someone like no sometimes like you know what when you prepare it pays off just don't make it weird just be like he comes in the house be like what are you doing like you're smoking pot in the house like what what am i your mom like sit down smoke pot like i don't care why are you hiding that shit from me yeah but i do think, like, if I don't want to, like, give you any cause for concern, but the fact that he's hiding it, like, is a little concerning.

Yeah.

So it does require a conversation of, like, why do you feel like you need to hide it?

What else are you hiding, sir?

No, no, not what else are you hiding, but

why are you hiding this from me?

Like, did I ever say something that would make you think that I wouldn't be okay with this?

That's true.

That's true.

You know, but that's like so passive aggressive.

Like, is it me?

No.

But definitely just, like, talk about it.

Like, also, you live on an acre?

That sounds really nice.

In California, can we come?

I know that literally sounds ideal.

Also, greenhouse?

Yeah, so you into plans?

Like, what's the vibe?

Maybe he's growing his own.

Oh, that's the thing.

He could be hiding it because it's, that's not what he's hiding.

It's a bigger thing.

He's running this whole industry out of your greenhouse.

It's weeds.

It's weeds, the TV show.

Like, he's one of the biggest drug dealers in California.

Right.

And then still, it's like, why wouldn't he bring you into it?

Maybe he doesn't want to share the profits.

I don't know.

Oh, that's shady because then he would like make you sign a prenup and shit.

That's like so hurtful.

That's so hurtful.

Like what?

But you don't think I'm good enough to share in the profits with?

The weed empire?

That's not cool.

That's not cool.

So

I do think he could be hiding a little more than just like the hobby.

Maybe a booming.

Not to give you a pit.

Congratulations.

Yeah.

I mean, how are you paying for that acre of land?

Someone's got to pay the bills.

Sorry to give you a pit, but talk to your boyfriend.

No, no, just to do it.

Down sounds sorry.

I think you're going to find like a pot of gold at the end of this remote.

Yeah, no, like a literally like a drug empire.

Yeah.

And it's California, so it's legal.

it's totally legal okay next up dear toasters long story short shirt

i spent thanksgiving with my boyfriend's family for the first time i was nervous but couldn't travel to see my own family so i sucked it up and took on the daunting task of attending thanksgiving dinner with my boyfriend of one month

I met the fam, things were going

great to the girl you used to be.

We sit down for dinner and my boyfriend's dad leads the table in prayer, which is all dandy until their tradition of having a moment of silence to reflect on what we're grateful for.

for.

I want you to picture the quietest of quiet silences, painfully silent and painfully long.

The perfect

time for my stomach to start swirling.

I started squirming in the hopes of keeping the inevitable from happening.

I started praying that my boyfriend's dad would finally say amen and the awful silence would end.

My prayers went unanswered.

During the moment of silence, I ripped.

No, no.

She literally spelled, I literally ripped the fattest fart, P-H-A-T-T.

Fattest fart.

It was loud, it was rotten, and it lingered.

Stop.

You're single.

Goodbye.

The fart encouraged.

Get on hinge, try again, get some gases.

The fart encouraged the dad to finally.

Let me finish.

I heard everything I need to hear.

The fart encouraged the damn dad.

I heard everything I need to hear.

I'm sorry.

You're single.

Jaggie, the fart encouraged the dad to finally say amen.

And when everyone looked up, I was obviously blushing and the culprit.

I shut down for the rest of the night due to embarrassment.

I'm sure they think I'm a bitch now.

Good.

My boyfriend kept asking if I was okay and my social skills left me to die that night.

You weren't okay.

What the fuck do I do?

My boyfriend's family thinks I'm a bitch now.

My boyfriend thinks something is wrong.

And I can't bring myself, I can't bring myself, because she said she was like, she shut down after the fart.

Like she just didn't talk to anyone because like she was so embarrassed.

So she said, I can't bring myself to tell the truth that I ripped ass.

They didn't hear it.

They did, but like, I don't think they know for sure that it was her.

So she said, I can't bring myself to tell the truth that I ripped ass on my boyfriend's family Thanksgiving dinner.

Do I tell the truth?

I can't stop acting weird and I'm the worst liar.

Honestly,

this relationship is so short.

I would honestly just cut the relationship.

Cut your losses, start again.

Yeah, I'm I don't know how you come back from this.

Like, I don't know how you would want to like start the work of repairing, you know, what this fart has broken.

Like, I just, I wouldn't, I couldn't bear it.

Too much damage has been done, and you really don't have that much to lose with this guy of one month.

Like, and there's so many other men out there, and honestly, you seem hilarious.

So, just like, it's so not worth trying to fix.

Yeah, you know what?

Like, I feel like maybe your stomach, that was your gut trying to tell you something.

Literally.

Trying to ruin this relationship for you because something's not right.

I think you need to just take the L.

If you were talking to a therapist, like you could really feel like maybe your subconscious like sabotage this relationship on purpose because you knew it wasn't the right relationship for you.

Right.

So you should thank that fart for showing you the true path and just get out.

Yeah, I really think.

Cut and run.

Yeah, cut your losses.

I just wouldn't want to live like my life with people who like knew what I did.

Yeah, because let's say you guys get married, like this is your family, and like you're always like your first impression will always be.

Everywhere you farted, and it's like, you know what?

You can rewrite this story.

Yeah.

You can be a different girl.

It's not too late to rewrite your own story.

You're so right.

Just get out of this relationship and find a new man.

Yeah, but you are saying there's a chance they don't know it was you.

Yeah, that was the confusing part was like, do they know it was you or did they not know it was you?

Also, are you okay?

Like to fart before dinner like that.

Yeah, you haven't eaten yet.

So like, why is your stomach swirling so bad?

That sounds like maybe some IBS.

yeah i would also i would also check out i would bring up your boy break up with your boyfriend and then immediately head to the doctor head to a gastroentinologist

okay now it's time for our law firm basement update so

to recap a girl had written in she's a lawyer She works at a firm where like these two brothers or cousins are partners and one of them is like kind of weird and she noticed that like he was literally like taking jugs of water and like buckets and like storing them in the office basement like sheltering for something it was all very weird like he wasn't stealing them he was like hunkering and bunkering down yeah his name was bob and he was just freaky as yeah so she has wrote in claudia and jackie it's been two years

and the mystery keeps getting weirder oh no we're not gonna get answers bob the weird coworker who stored all the cases of water and buckets and sealant remember it was like that weird material

in our law firm basement was told by our boss two years ago to remove all those items from the basement.

He removed them, provided no explanation, and we figured the mystery would go unsolved.

Six months after that, in March of 2019, Bob hastily moves himself and his family to Florida.

Our firm is in the Midwest.

Bob remains on the firm's payroll, but he literally has no duties.

Reminder,

unlike the girlfriend before,

who had a lot of duties.

They're big duty.

Okay, he reminds me.

See, that's what the family will say about you.

You don't get the fucking butt of the joke the whole time.

Okay, so Bob remains on the firm's payroll, but he literally has no duties.

Reminder, Bob is the boss's brother.

We all assume it's just nepotism, but the two had a huge falling out.

So some of us think that maybe it's not nepotism.

So our boss, Joe, like the unweird brother, lives two hours away from the law firm headquarters.

He's never in the office.

He works remotely most of the time.

He comes to the headquarters about once every two months or so.

I've caught him sneaking down to the basement during the early morning hours, like in the eight o'clock hour or in the late hours, like five or six.

What the fuck?

No one goes in the basement.

It's old files and old office furniture.

Literally, no one has a valid reason to go down there.

Joe sneaks to the basement every time he comes up to the headquarters.

No one is with him, so it's not a rendezvous.

He literally goes in the basement alone every time he comes to the headquarters.

He doesn't know that I've noticed, but I've been watching.

What the fuck is in this basement?

I've personally searched it and found nothing.

Do I need to go pull insulation off the walls and search harder?

Something is definitely down there that is of great importance.

This has been going on for two whole years.

Advice, help.

At this point, I need to be on Unsolved Mysteries.

Thank you.

Wow, not only did we get literally no.

It got more confusing.

Because Joe is like the normal boss.

So like Bob was always weird.

So you could always chalk it up to just like Bob being weird.

Yeah.

But now I think you have to.

You got to head down to the basement after hours, get a flashlight, and like really search.

No, you have to follow him into the basement, like see what he is doing.

And then when he turns around, like, literally flashlight in the eye, be like, what's going on?

No, no, like, just, or if you know what time he's coming to the office, get to the basement before him.

Then, watch to see where he goes in the basement, what area.

You don't have to, like, see exactly what he's doing, but then when he leaves, you can go back to that area.

There's no reason for being in the basement.

He can't see you.

Okay, okay.

Hide in the shadows.

But it's like, how was any, how are you getting any legal work done in your office?

Like, if all you're doing is

literally like watching all your coworkers, like, schedules, like, when they go to the bathroom, when they go to the basement, where they live, if they're on the payroll.

It's like, do you get any work done in this law firm?

No.

Maybe this is Seleno and Barnes.

Seleno and Barnes.

You know, they're just Seleno now.

I know.

Barnes passed away.

I know.

In a tragic plane crash.

It's so sad.

I just think it's kind of crazy that Seleno, like a month later, gave new commercials, new logo, who diss, just Seleno.

He couldn't have kept the legacy of Barnes.

That's one rebrand I can't get behind.

That's true.

You love a rebrand.

I do, but not at the expense.

So, how does the song go now on the commercial?

Seleno and Seleno, injury attorneys,

800 and 88, 888.

Don't wait.

College, what's your favorite, like, commercial jingle?

I mean, besides for Carmel,

fine.

After Carmel.

I mean, there's so many.

2-300 Empire today.

Stanley Steamer fucks hard.

Oh, fucks hard.

Get certified cleaner.

Or also.

Oh, you know what I love?

Mentos better, mentos fresher.

Mantos and unknown.

I'm fresh fresh and full of life.

Mentos, the fresher.

Fresh maker.

You know what I love?

Liberty, liberty, liberty.

Yeah, I always call snitch.

I'm like, snitchery, snitchery, snitchery.

Snitchery.

Of course, there's always the iconic.

I was working for an hourly wage.

I went to high school, didn't do great.

Still, I gotta make more cash.

More education is what I'm looking at.

When I get a degree, I will make a bigger salary.

So now I've got to see which college is right for me.

I went on the internet and found education connection.

I took some pretext to find out my direction.

It's out of breath.

I'm taking my classes online.

Getting my degree on my own

education connection.

Match me with the right college for free.

Get connected for free

with education connection.

Get connected for free.

With education connection.

That's probably the best.

I mean, it just, I think I threw my back out.

It

slaps.

Also, some of the lippity slaps.

Some of the nationwide commercials with like country singers are pretty good.

Oh, yeah.

Nationwide is on your side.

Yeah, with like Brad Paisley.

Yeah, it's all right.

I don't know.

It's kind of basic.

It's a little basic, yeah.

I mean, they just don't make them like they used to.

Education connection.

No, they really don't.

I just feel like there should be more people investing time and money into commercial jingles because they stick with you.

And I know I'm dialing seven.

That's all.

That's what I know.

Couldn't agree more.

I'm actually dialing six, but.

But see, like, there's something for everyone.

Yeah.

And that's our show, you guys.

Yeah.

Anything else you want to say before we wrap up?

No.

Oh, new episode of The Redheads shops tomorrow.

It is so good.

And if

you're looking for some premium content, the Redheads are here for you.

We always are and we always will be.

So also, new, we're going to announce the next book that is a snitch's choice.

And I've already been seeing some buzz about this book in the Redheads Facebook page.

Yeah, so I think everyone's gonna be really excited about it.

I want to spoil it, but I won't.

Oh, speaking of books, while I'm here, I mean, might as well.

Check out my book.

It comes out January 26, 2021.

It is called Girl with No Job, The Crazy Beautiful Life of an Instagram Thirst Monster.

The pre-order is now available if you want to get the e-book, so if you want to get it on Kindle, or the audiobook, you want to get it on Audible, or just a hardcover book from Amazon, Barnes, and Noble, or indie bookstores around the country.

If you go to girlwithnojob.com/slash book, you can find all the links to places you can purchase, and I would really appreciate the pre-order support.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Morning Toast, the Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up.

We're also available as a podcast anywhere podcasts can be found.

So that's Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, iHeart, Radio, Cast Fox, or all the places.

So wherever you listen to podcasts, find us.

The Morning Toast and leave a five-star review about how beautiful, stunning, and smart we are.

We hope you have an amazing hump day.

We'll see you tomorrow for the second half of the week.

We're almost done, you guys.

Yes.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Bye.