S3 Ep198: Guaraunty: Friday, December 4th, 2020

Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the morning toast.

Happy Friday.

Friday, Friday.

Gotta get down on Friday.

Everyone, congratulations.

A huge muscle tove on making it to the end of the week without losing your mind.

Yes.

And I just have so many personal updates to share that I'm just going to jump right into them because in so many ways, I'm a different person than I was on the show yesterday.

I hear that completely.

And in no order of importance, three major things happened in my life yesterday.

One, I moved.

It has just been such an exciting, treacherous experience, but made less treacherous with the most wonderful moving company, Roadway.

Okay, by the way, I use them for my move two years ago.

We used them for our studio move.

Like everyone in our family uses them.

They are truly, and by the way, I've had the same movers every time.

They're like the nicest guys.

It is the best company.

It's the best company.

It's the best moving experience.

I feel like I used to dread moving so much, but they really make it as pleasant as humanly.

They do it all.

They do it all.

They've even given me a discount code to share with the toasters.

It's Jackie10.

If you want to get 5% off long-distance moves or 10% off local moves, head to Roadway.

I have a link in my stories.

Use code Jackie10 and get some money off your next move.

And start moving and grooving.

Start moving and grooving.

You moving like into this palatial palace in the sky has really got me

all bent out of shape.

And there actually is.

identical unit in your building like how many like four floors up yeah um and i'm i'm actually i think you should take it i'm actually really thinking about it i just love my building so much I i know.

I love my building.

And if you moved into my building, like one, Theo and Bruno, best friends.

I know.

They would never spend a day apart.

I know.

Like, that's big.

It's like, you gotta just gotta do it for your kids, you know?

Yeah, you have to do it for the kids.

Two, like, you and I could be, like, podcasting all the time, like, just running up and down and like creating content.

No, I know.

Three, like, Ben and Zach could be playing Monopoly all day long.

Yeah.

And then, like, I really, I dread being alone.

It's like one of my biggest fears, which is why, like, I'm a homebody and therefore Ben has to be a homebody.

But he's like a building body if you but not only that like if you lived in my building or i lived in your building like ben could go do whatever he want and then like we could just like watch tv together no i know i really think you should at least look at the unit yeah no i um it's so funny like buildings in new york are so snotty i actually reached out yesterday like after you sent me the link and i'm like hey like are you like to come see the apartment and they were like before they're like well are you qualified for x x and x and i'm like um yeah i think so like chill like they're so it's like so like something about my name maybe doesn't give off like good vibes wow they're like well we can't let you into the apartment unless we we know that you have X, F, and F.

And I'm like, okay, fucking nasty snot.

Yeah, I got it.

Bitch.

Oh, God.

You're so fucking rude.

Take that off to a good foot.

No, no, it's like, I'm taking it personal.

Wow.

Okay.

Why else are you a different person?

Well, you've successfully moved, and your apartment is so nice.

I've successfully moved.

I still have so much like unpacking and organizing to do.

My apartment is so nice, but it has significantly less closet space.

Like for my personal cl wardrobe, I think half.

Like I'm not even joking.

And so I am being rude, like

relentless about just donations and cleaning out my closet.

Like I literally have removed like so many iconic pieces that I never thought I would get rid of just because like of the memories.

Like if you saw, if you saw some of the things, you would know exactly what it's from and you would be like, wow, you're really going to do that.

That's crazy.

Crazy.

So this weekend will be very transformative as I continue to build out the space.

Second thing, I'm going to save the best for last.

Second thing, I finally set up my new phone.

And it really has just, it's put a new, like, when you set up a new phone, like, you feel like a new person.

Okay, so, like, remember back in the day when you would, like, get a new Blackberry and like you had a new pin and everyone was adding like DVM, and you just felt like you woke up every morning with so many notifications more than usual because, like, everyone was just like adding you and like redoing all the things, and you felt like so popular and special.

Oh, no, I feel like that's not what it is for me, but I'm so- I really just like exposed myself.

I'm so glad you had that experience.

For me, it's like, I feel like your phone is so much a part of like your habit in your daily life.

And I got a phone that's a new size.

So, now with this bigger phone, I feel like the way I'm holding it, like, I feel like a new person.

Like, I feel like I'm having someone else, you know?

So it's just like on my new phone last night, setting it up, just like feeling, there's that new phone vibe that's just inexplicable.

I couldn't agree more.

But apparently, there's this new update.

You know, it used to be you got a new phone, you have to download all your apps, make a new background.

I was like, you know what?

When I get my new phone, right now my background was Theo.

And I was like, I'll update my background to like Bruno or something like that.

Wow, that's so rude.

But with the new phone update, your whole phone, even the way you organize your apps, transfers to your new phone.

Fabulous.

Your background screen transfers.

Fabulous.

So Theo lives to see another day and I love having Theo as my background screen because he's he's my number one and he always will be like

that number one guy.

Speaking of old photos, I saw my friend Jason last night who's like one of my oldest friends from high school and that's why I couldn't watch Southern Charm because I had a couple drinks and Jason has literally, his camera roll goes back to 2010.

Whoa.

How crazy is that?

So that's like my last two years of high school and we went to college together too.

So like I literally spent the entire night last night, like in 2011.

It was crazy.

That is crazy.

Because I guess he had an iPhone in high school.

I had a Blackberry.

I don't remember, but like, I don't know how much fucking how much his storage plan is per year because it's a crazy amount of photos.

But it was really like traveling back in time.

How many photos do you have on your phone?

55,000.

How many do I have?

It's insane.

I mean, I have so many screenshots just from like running all.

56,000.

Wow.

Yeah.

Just from like running all, you know, our businesses, like in our Instagram accounts.

Every time I take a photo, like I take 20 and I don't really delete the old ones because you just never know when you're going to need it.

So that's that.

And then the third piece of news, personal news, that I think might be the biggest out of the movie.

This should have been a Fast Five story.

It's like such big news.

It's such big news.

I know.

It really should have, but no one wrote it up, unfortunately.

I have changed my Instagram handle from Jackie O Problems.

to Jackie Ashre.

Now let's talk about the genesis.

How did we get started?

Who is Jackie O Problems?

What is Jackie O Problems?

What are your problems?

Okay, so I started Jackie Jackieo Problems in 2011.

I think I started on Twitter, and that was my handle since 2011.

And then it was my Instagram handle, Snapchat, you know, anywhere I went, so did me and my problems.

And it started as like a play on obviously like white girl problems and all those problems.

Right, there was a trend on Twitter, like in the early 2000s, where you would make like tall girl problems, and it was just like the problems that tall girls face.

And you were doing Jackie O problems.

They were like problems that were specific to me.

And it made a lot of sense at the time.

And I never really like thought much about it in the past few years.

But every time I would realize that that's my Instagram handle, like I would kind of cringe.

Cringe.

It's because it's like an old school internet trend.

Yeah, it's like, first of all, it completely dates me.

Like, it's like, hi, I've been on the internet since 2010.

Like, when, and, like, I've been here for 10 years, and it's not like in fashion anymore.

No, and it's also not what you post.

Like, that's at the end of the day, like, you don't post your problems.

No, but also, it's like, if it was an old joke that people were still like doing,

maybe I I would have kept it, but it's not in anymore.

And like,

so when I would take the time to like think about the fact that that was my handle, like, I was just like, I don't want this to be my handle anymore.

And it would probably happen like once a year where I realized, like, oh my God.

So, and you would try to secure other handles.

And I would try to secure other handles.

So, I literally this time last year, it was Thanksgiving, I messaged, there's someone has the handle at Jackie O, which is my dream handle, and it belongs to a girl.

And I had messaged her, and we were communicating a little bit, but it just didn't work out in terms of me getting it from her.

Well,

she just tried to haggle you.

No, she didn't, I mean, she just expected a price that I just wasn't willing to pay for an internet handle.

Like, I do have my limit.

Yes, I know.

It was insane.

And so I had to let that dream go.

And then, you know, a calendar year passed and I realized again that my handle is Jackie O problems.

And I was like, okay, it is time.

I need to think of something else.

And I was like, maybe it should just be Jackie Ashre.

Like, I like her.

She's a nice girl.

And so I went to change it.

But apparently, if you're like a public figure and you have a lot of followers, you can't change your handle on your own.

You need to get like a contact at Instagram.

So I went about getting a contact at Instagram and they said they would work on it.

And then yesterday, I guess they worked on it and my handle was Jackie Yasha.

Well, they didn't even ask you like, are you sure?

No, yep.

It just flipped the switch and I was just like, obviously on the most transitional day, period.

Of course.

And I feel so good about it.

I know there are some people who are just like averse to change and like they're, you know, they love, it's a big, they're always going to be against it.

Like, no, or like just any sort of rebrand, it takes a while to get used to.

But you guys, I'm telling you, this is for the best.

It's the right decision.

Feel all of the better vibes that are going to come from this new handle.

And I'm actually someone I love change, like

all the time, like even moving apartments.

Like I'm, I really embrace change.

And so I'm just so excited about

this this change.

I really am.

I'm excited for you.

We congratulate you here at the Morning Toast.

Good luck on this new journey and no looking back.

No looking back.

And I obviously like I didn't share with anyone like, you know, what I was, what I was thinking about it because I don't like to talk about things until they're done.

Otherwise, I feel like I'm going to jinx them.

Like, my Instagram handle would have, like, you know, disappeared.

No, my Instagram contact, sorry, would have, you know, stopped working at the company or something.

Totally.

Because that's something that would have happened to us.

And then I would have been stuck with Jackie Yo problems, and you guys would have known how much I hated it.

Oh, my God, totally.

Okay, well, I'm so glad I have a brand new co-host.

It's like you have a brand new co-host, and I feel like that's why I'm wearing all white.

You're pure, you're like getting baptized.

I'm clean.

I'm getting baptized.

On

the Sunshine Network.

I'm free of all my problems.

And I i just want to say like even though i've dropped the problems like it doesn't mean i don't have problems anymore nobody has more problems than you nobody has more problems than me someone was like i'm gonna manifest having less problems by putting the name problems in my name and then taking it out you know you are literally significantly less problematic today than you were yesterday and we absolutely love to see that we love to see growth we love it so i'm really excited and make sure to follow me at jackie ashray

um so i do believe that it might be time why you're just gonna rush me right in, huh?

No, I mean, like, to be honest, like, we've been talking about you for a while.

Like, it's hard for me.

I knew today I was gonna have to fight, fight, fight.

No, it's hard.

Like, I just think, I think it's time to move on.

Do you have anything that you want to share?

No, I did absolutely nothing yesterday except be like a disgusting piece of shit and like not wash my hair.

But you went out to dinner.

Yes, I did.

I hit the town and the town hit me back.

I had three margaritas at dinner, and it was nice.

Saw my friend Jason, which was also really nice.

And yeah, I wish I had more to report on.

I just don't.

Life is so uninteresting for me.

Like,

do you wish you had a life-changing Instagram handle change?

No, I wish that, like, no, everyone around me is like, Olivia's a mom.

She has a new apartment.

You have a new apartment.

You have a new dog.

Mara was a new dog.

Oh, and the new dog and the new handle and the new phone.

And like, Ben's parents just moved.

Like, everyone has all these like exciting life updates.

And I'm just like still the same disgusting piece of shit I was six months ago.

So I'm like jealous of everyone's like metamorphoses.

Yeah.

I'm just not currently experiencing one.

I'm still in my cocoon.

Maybe you should get a new phone.

I don't need one.

Like my phone works very well and it's the 11.

Like something about getting the 11, 11, getting the 12 when you have the 11 seems so wasteful to me.

Yeah, that's right.

Like me.

I'll get the 13.

Do you know what I mean?

You're on odd phones.

Oh, that's true.

Maybe I should get on evens.

I just feel like

that's what Apple wants you to do.

And like, I won't give into that.

No, I totally agree with that.

But it's also based on like two-year plans.

Like, they come out with a new phone every year.

You have a two-year plan means that you're missing one of every phone.

Yeah.

Every other phone.

Right.

Which you should.

That makes sense.

And it's like when Apple, like, okay, they decided this year, like, they're done with USBs.

Like, no, I'm not getting rid of my USB.

I'm buying a janky ass converter on Amazon and I'm still using it.

Like, I refuse to give into Apple and their fucking corporate supremacy.

Like, it's insane.

It's insane.

What if you got a haircut?

Like, a crazy haircut?

I won't get a haircut, but I actually

am in need of like a chop, just like a fresh two to three inch trim.

That would make me feel good.

I saw a photo of myself yesterday that made me realize, like, I need a haircut.

I feel like as someone who used to have short hair, it's like, I just, I

revel in all of my hair growth, but like, it's too long now.

No, you're getting to the Woodstock stage.

Yes.

I am.

And it's, I've been there.

I actually was stuck in the Woodstock stage for so long thinking that it was like so cool.

And now I look back and I look so dirty.

Like, someone should have given me a bath.

Like, so sick.

Um, because I'm into long hair, but there is a point where long hair becomes like circus freak.

And the line is very thin.

So you got to be careful.

I saw a picture of myself yesterday.

Plus, like with my white outfit, like, I look like I could be Nicole.

Yep, 100%.

And they haven't let you out of your bunker in six years.

And that's why your hair is so long.

Yeah, exactly.

Okay, I'm trying to think of other things that you could do to like revitalize.

No, I'm just like really set on moving.

I love that.

And I, and I love your apartment so much.

And I understand why you've been so resistant.

Yeah.

Trying to hold back a sneeze.

Are you trying to cry because you love my apartment so much?

I do.

And it's been so good to you.

No, no.

The thing is, is like, I would, and I feel like maybe this is like a bad way to live your life because at the end of the day, like, I really do like my apartment.

And obviously there are things I don't like about it.

Compared to others.

Right.

And so like, I feel like moving just to like keep up with other people is like a really bad omen like and a bad way to live your life.

Yeah, but it's like you're happy with where you're at and why can't you just accept that?

Why could that be enough?

I am shallow and vain and now I technically have the worst apartment in the family except for Margo.

That was a rhetorical question.

Oh, oh, oh.

Because

I'm the one here advocating for you to move.

Just to have like a little bit of spice in your life.

No, I know.

Like it's like that TikTok sound.

Like, let me.

add a little bit of spice.

Like that's literally what I need.

My life is just like so vanilla right now.

I understand.

Well, at least you know that if you move you can use Roadway.

You can use code Jackie10.

That's 10% off.

Local moves 5% off long distance.

All right, let's dive right in.

Okay, wow.

Go for it.

Now you're done.

Do what you got to do.

Now you're good and ready.

It is time for the fast five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

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I would say toasty pink is the shade.

Yeah, it's almost the color of this couch.

You should bring them.

They should be a little on the show because they really match our set.

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Okay, first story.

Cardi B says she's too shy to ask male rappers to collaborate.

This is like such a relatable story.

No, I read this and I was like, oh my god, like that would, that's me as a rapper.

Like I'm so like shy, especially around boys.

Like I feel like I haven't changed at all since high school and like I feel this to my soul.

Totally.

Cardi B may known for her brazen lyrics, but the rapper insists she's actually actually so shy that she can't bring herself to ask male rappers to collaborate with her.

Cardi B revealed in a new billboard interview, she said, quote, the thing is, I'm shy and really shy to reach out to male artists, to be honest with you.

That's why a lot of collabs that I want, I haven't got yet because I'm scared to reach out.

I always get a little starstruck.

I'll be thinking I'm corny, even though I'm funny.

Oh,

that is so cute.

I mean, I feel like in Hollywood, a lot of collaborations happen like through people's teams.

Like, she could have her team reach out.

That's the point in having a team, you know?

Yeah, but maybe if it's like a really big artist, like it means so much more artist to artist.

100%.

That I agree with as well.

So this is a predicament, and one in which I'm surprised we haven't heard about from like other people in music because, like,

this would literally be us as rappers like shy

like oh I don't know like you want to sing with me like it's it's awkward to ask too and I kind of I feel like maybe cardio doesn't feel this way but like I hate asking people for like stuff because I hate

Like coming off desperate.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah.

No, I just hate there's so many elements to why you feel shy.

Also when you're asking people for stuff and I even kind of feel this way about this is what like kind of Taylor Swift was saying about like wanting to work with Bonnie there but like never thinking that she could like what you just think someone's gonna say no so you're like better not ask because they're gonna say no well that's like everyone's like fear of rejection always yeah yeah because that's like I feel like these sort of insecurities like are all stemmed from like high school And those are, they like never leave you, like fear of rejection, like nervous talk in a voice, like they never leave you.

For sure, but like not everyone suffers from these insecurities, you know, because some people are just like so brazen.

I know.

And part of me is

jealous of people who are just like so sure of themselves and so like secure in who they are who like can just do whatever they want.

But then part of me is also like, calm down.

Yeah, no, I feel like in instances like that, it's like I'm jealous of the person who is sure about themselves and like, you know, asks for what they want.

But then in other elements of life, like you see that person in a different scenario, like at a restaurant and it's like, oh no.

Oh, thank you.

There is nothing more frightening than a person who is so sure of themselves.

in a restaurant.

Oh my God.

I, whenever I'm at a restaurant and I hear the way people talk, like it makes me want to vomit.

Like it's so sick.

Certain restaurants just like have the worst customers.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

No.

So I feel like that person is definitely getting great collabs, but like,

do you want to be around them at any other time?

No, especially a restaurant.

Right.

Absolutely not.

That's a really good point.

Thanks.

So Cardi, I hope some like pop, like the biggest rappers, male rappers in the game like hear this interview and reach out to her and they're like,

I would love to work with you.

If you think about it, I don't know that many collabs

Cardi B has with male artists, especially rappers.

Like she did Maroon 5, they're not in the rap scene.

And I don't know any other male artists that she's collaborated with.

No, but she's collabed with like a lot of females, and I guess it's because she just feels more comfortable asking.

Which I actually think is very cool of Cardi B, like for being a female rapper who lifts up other female rappers.

Right, and I think that this sort of what she would consider like a hindrance of not being able to ask male rappers, it actually winds up being even more beautiful because she probably gravitates towards female rappers and the content that they create together is amazing.

Yeah, like it's just just been more beneficial for her.

And she's now, at least, I don't know if she did it on purpose.

To me, she is known as like a female rapper who lifts up other female rappers.

When I feel like for a while, when like Nikki Minaj was like the reigning queen of

rap, female rap, it wasn't like that at all.

It was like very competitive.

And that's why like her and Cardi butted heads so much.

And now I feel like Cardi's like setting a new standard for like the new wave of young Megan Thee Stallions, like young female artists.

Yeah.

We love to see it.

We do.

Wow.

Speaking of big music news though.

BMN?

BMN.

Let me take a sip of my Diet Coke.

Yep.

That's kind of big to swallow.

Radio Disney is shutting down.

Devastating.

Radio Disney is shutting down amid a restructuring.

Disney is shuttering its Radio Disney division among the ongoing restructuring at the media giant.

Radio Disney and Radio Disney Country who both stopped broadcasting in the first quarter of 2021, resulting in layoffs for 36 full and part-time employees.

That cuts deep.

That cuts deep.

I forgot about Radio Disney Country.

This feels like like personal.

This feels like the last day of camp.

Yeah.

Because you want to know why?

I feel like when I think of what was most influential to me as like a young burgeoning woman, I always, I think the Disney Channel was so integral in, you know, the monster that I became.

Yeah.

And I feel like we really grew up in the golden age of Disney, but I feel like every, you know, older person feels like they grew up in the golden age.

But I actually, I think that this is proof, actually, that we did grow up in the golden age of Disney Channel.

Yeah.

The Hanna Montana, that's our Raven, even Stevens' era.

Yes.

And I think that that is objectively the golden age of Disney.

I think Disney is still very cool and they have a lot, like, you know, Descendants, I absolutely love Dor and Stan, but it's

not Hannah Montana.

It's not comparable.

It's not Wizards of Waverly Place.

No, it's not the Even Stevens movie, Model Double Take, all those movies.

D-com, Smart House, Lizzy McGuire movie, high school musical.

And you want to know how you know that it's not those things because Descendants 3 wasn't in theaters.

High school musical was.

Lizzie McGuire movie was.

Hannah Montana movie was.

Right, that's true.

Like, they really elevated out of their own bubble, and like, it was really world domination.

Or maybe someone at the theater saw Descendants 3, like, was ready to put it in theaters, and then was like, oh, no, this is so bad.

This is so bad.

Oh, was it terrible?

It was the worst of the franchise, which never happens on the third.

No.

But that's what we got because the second was so good.

Yeah.

So good.

It was an interesting dynamic between the three films.

So good.

So good.

Yeah.

So I just feel like.

As much as I sound like an old person being like, oh, I grew up in the Golden Age of Disney Channel.

I feel like Radio Disney is shutting down right now is just further proof that I'm actually not just an old person.

Like, it's 100% true.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think it's it's really a sad story.

End of an era for sure.

End of an era for sure.

But at the same time, I actually, from a business perspective, I see what is Radio Disney beneficial for now.

Like, yes, Disney has good programming with like decent music, but the Disney genre in terms of music when we were kids was like a full-blown genre.

They needed their own station.

Yes.

They don't need it now.

But it's a sign of the times.

Like, the way that people are listening to music is different.

I think radio in general is suffering.

And so I feel like they could have pivoted to some sort of like streaming, successful streaming situation.

But I do think it's got become a little irrelevant.

Yeah, it's just like for every person like over the age of 21, like today is a sad day.

We are mourning the loss of Radio Disney.

I think everyone can think of a memory in their childhood where they're like sitting in the back of the car, like maybe in a car seat, just like jamming out to something on Radio Disney.

And everyone can like recall what station it was in

local area, you know, in their region.

Yeah, devastating, devastating for the whole Disney family.

It really is.

So

we'll miss you.

Yeah, I miss you.

I miss your smile.

And I still shed a tear every once in a while.

And even though it's different now,

you're still here somehow.

My heart won't let you go.

And I need you to know.

Wow, I miss you.

Sha la la la la.

I miss you.

Literally can't remember a person's name when they tell it to me five seconds before, but I can remember a song I haven't heard since I was in the seventh grade.

And that's on being, on having your priorities in order.

Like literally haven't heard that song.

Can't even remember the last time I heard it, but could sing it in my sleep.

Didn't even like wince at one of the words.

Totally.

No, and that's like not even Hannah's most popular song.

Like that was like a really random Hannah song.

No, honestly, it it was like a bad Hannah song.

A banna song.

There were so many good ones.

Like I could literally do a full in-depth like Patreon episode on the discography of Hannah Montana.

100%.

Because she really went through so many phases.

And I feel like the one that I loved the most was definitely like Hannah Montana Forever.

She was making such good music.

Smooth talking.

So rocking.

He's got everything that a girl's wanting.

Guitar cutie.

He plays a groove.

Like that song was so good.

And that era where she was like going between like Jake and Jesse.

Like she cut her hair.

Yes, she did.

She did cut her hair.

She was Jesse with a haircut.

And she moved out of the Malibu Beach house into like a Malibu ranch house with a horse.

And that was an iconic

house.

Season.

Yeah, and Lily moved in with her, which was like a little question.

Which was just kind of like moochie of her.

And it's like, where were Lily's parents?

Like, I know they were okay with like Lily living with Miley, but like.

That's just like an insane thing to do.

Like leave your home and like live with your friend in high school.

Like Like if we're talking about real kids in high school.

Yeah, no, totally.

We should do a whole Patreon episode about it in the new year because we have like so many episodes to do this month.

Like, I mean, I would love to get my home.

I'm, oh, so many people are asking for a home tour.

I'm obviously going to do a home tour on Patreon.

Hopefully this month, maybe next month, like because I want it to be like stunning for you guys.

We need to do a holiday gift guide.

I have like so many gift ideas that I would love to share with the group.

Really?

I don't have any ideas.

Like I feel like I'm the worst gift giver.

No, but like think of the things in your life that you cherish and value most.

Theo.

Okay, I'll get everyone dogs.

Right.

And then also like Envia Roundup, best of, worst of.

EOY Roundup.

You'd love to see an EOY Roundup.

We really do.

So I think it's time to get into the third story, which is brought to you by...

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Check it out.

Okay, next story is some delicious news.

Mariah Carrie launches her own cookie brand.

This is interesting.

I didn't see this.

This is so interesting.

Christmas Queen Mariah Carey has whipped up her own cookie brand just in time for the holidays.

Mariah's Cookies is set to launch on Friday, December 4th.

that's today, online offering boxes of a dozen or half a dozen cookies in 30 major American markets.

For the holiday season, the delivery-only brand is selling a holiday hits box, which includes gingerbread, white chocolate cranberry, and pumpkin varieties.

Other assortments include chocolatey treats box, the pumpkin box, and the gingerbread

Brocks, according to a news release.

Once the Yuletide season wraps, Carrie plans to offer other varieties.

Other varieties.

I'm really struggling.

No, I'm not sure.

This is like they're using such big words for a story about cookies.

Yeah, like chill.

Relax.

The baked goods will be available to order via delivery apps, including Grubhub, Crash, Postmates, Uber East, and Seamless.

So this is like a real project for Mariah, Carrie.

And it's very interesting.

Celebrities do different things all the time.

They create makeup lines, skincare lines.

They do movies, music.

Like, I've actually don't...

I can't recall in recent history when a celebrity went into like the food space.

There's one celebrity cookie line that if you think hard enough, you'll get.

The Girl Scouts?

No.

Celebrity cookies?

And the celebrities, if I give you one clue, you'll get it.

Okay, tell me.

Victoria's Secret Fashion Show.

What?

Victoria?

I don't think of cookies when I think of the Victoria's Secret Fashion.

That's exactly why.

What is it?

Carly Kloss's cookies.

She has a cookie company?

You don't remember this?

They did a Victoria Shecky.

Carly Kloss, I'm sorry, is the queen of doing things that are off-brand, making a line of cookies, and then her other things are...

Because they're like, cookies were like healthy cookies.

And at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, they like went around backstage, like asking all the models, like what they're eating before the show.

And everyone's like, Carly's cookies.

And as they're like literally throwing up because they're so nasty like oh my god it's so funny nobody didn't know that um I just feel like this is an interesting move and not one I expected from like Queen Mariah Carrie sounds so delicious I literally am gonna order some cookies well that's where you and I disagree because I fundamentally have a problem with cookies that are just like beyond the regular like chocolate chip sugar snickerdoodle like there's four or five major like cookie categories in terms of flavors.

And I just feel like when people go like off the rails and it's like pumpkin duty like cookies, like relax.

Like, cookies are fine the way that they are.

And like, people inventing like new, silly, like, carrot cookies.

Like, let's not.

Collectively, let's just not.

Cookies are.

Gingerbread cookie.

Okay, I'll accept that as a category, even though I don't particularly like that.

Even though it's like, that's literally snickerdoodle.

Yeah, very confusing.

But we're going to just call it gingerbread for the holidays.

Sure, sure, sure.

White chocolate cranberry, like, actually.

So unnecessary.

So

do not, okay, here, ready?

I'm about to make a royal decree.

Keep fruits and vegetables out of desserts.

The two are not meant to be together, okay?

And I just want to say on that note,

keep them out of desserts and they're also not desserts.

Fruit

is not a dessert.

Carry cake?

Fruit is not a dessert.

Here ye, I agree.

If I come over for dinner and you're like, and I got some fruit for dessert, I'm leaving.

I'm out the door.

Like, I find them to be so hurtful and so disrespectful.

Like, no, and it's like, I totally get it.

You're putting out like fresh plates for dessert.

And I'm like, oh, like, she's.

She made a cake.

Fruit.

No, and I get people who want to be healthy.

And maybe this is where you just don't have dessert.

Like, let's stop reinventing.

Yes.

Because it's disrespectful to the

whole dessert community, like, to put out a carrot cake or a white cranberry cookie.

It's delicious.

Disgusting.

So we're going to disagree, like, on some of the finer plates.

Funs.

What are her other categories?

Decree.

No, those.

Oh, there's other one that's a pumpkin varieties cookie.

Sick.

Disgusting.

Pumpkin is so disgusting.

And we all need to collect it.

And I have something else to say about pumpkin.

I never knew this, but pumpkin pie is disgusting.

Have you had it recently?

Do you think that I have ever put a morsel of pumpkin-related product in my mouth?

No, because I am a woman of taste.

Pumpkin pie, the filling, tastes like someone ate pumpkin, chewed it, and spit it out

into a pie crust.

That's literally what it tastes like.

And I'm not nearly as picky as you.

Yeah, that's true.

No, it's like at the end of the day, stop normalizing fruits and vegetables in our desserts.

Okay, even though I'll make some exceptions.

Apple pie, I'm okay with that.

Berry pie, please be okay with it.

I'm okay with that too.

But I just hope.

And I'm going to sneak carrot cake in there.

Carrot cake is so delicious.

I understand.

No, carrot cake is, it's honestly the cornerstone of my argument.

Can you go like elsewhere with your argument?

You can't.

You cannot take cow cake.

Okay.

My entire argument is going to crumble like carrot cake if you take carrot cake out.

So I have to include.

Okay, so this is where we agree to disagree.

Yeah.

And you know what?

As long as we're disagreeing, like I don't mind like a little piece of fruit after my ice cream cake.

What?

You know, like, what?

Yeah, like sometimes at a restaurant, like one of my favorite restaurants in the city, like whenever people are like, Where should I go to dinner?

I always say Giamma.

I think it's like the best Italian food.

And I never really get dessert there, even though people love their tiramisu.

I'm not crazy about tiramisu, but they do have fresh strawberries and whipped cream.

And after like a big, heavy bowl of pasta, it is quite refreshing.

Like,

I hear it.

You know, I see it.

I kind of like it.

I can't believe that you did that to me.

But it's important to note: eating fruit just like is unacceptable.

It's like

you can only eat fruit when you're really full.

There's nothing else to say about fruit.

What?

And it's like, there are a few times in my life when I do happen to eat fruit.

And the occasion calls for fruit, maybe like a summer's afternoon.

Stop putting different fruits in the same bowl.

Agree.

I agree.

Fruit is criminal.

I agree.

And the juices, oh, it's so sick.

Sick.

Sick.

Sick.

Sick.

Sickening.

Sick.

No, not sickening.

Sick.

Also, last night, Zach and I ordered dinner.

We had such a long, hard day from the move.

So I was just like, get the cookies.

Okay.

Have you ever had the quarter-pounder cookies from the Smith?

I don't ever eat at the Smith.

We ordered the Smith.

I fundamentally disagree with their whole

message.

Yeah.

I can't.

As a chain.

We ordered the Smith and we got these big, the quarter pounder cookies.

They're three massive cookies.

And we just sat in our new living room on the couch.

We heated them up and just had warm cookies.

That's so nice.

And it was so nice.

That does sound really nice.

I'm actually like, this conversation is making me so hungry.

Okay, we'll wrap it up.

Are you ready for our next story?

Sure.

It is some sad royal news.

SRN.

Soil news?

Soil SRN.

What is it?

Queen Elizabeth's dorgie, Vulcan, dies just two weeks after the death of William and Kate's dog.

Oh, no.

Queen Elizabeth has said goodbye to one of her loving companions, Theo.

Cover your ears.

The 94-year-old monarch's dog, Vulcan, died at Winston Castle.

Do you ever like sleep weird on your neck and like you literally can't move your neck?

I mean, every day.

How is Theo not crippled?

Like that.

If you're watching on YouTube, he's the wonder of the universe.

He sleeps like that every day on the show, and it's like your neck.

You know who else sleeps like this when given the chance?

Bruno Sweets?

Bruno Sweets.

Maybe it's a Cavalier thing.

Maybe they don't have like a spine.

No.

Maybe they're spineless.

Like Broadwin season one.

No, maybe like, I don't know, they just like the blood draining to their face or something.

Yeah, no, it's like, if I laid that, like, in that position for that long, I would die because all the blood would rush to my head.

Totally.

Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you.

Vulcan was a dorgi, which is a mix between a corgi and a dachshund.

Vulgan's death leaves the queen with just one dog, another dorgi named Candy.

Cute.

That's a terrible name for a dog.

Great name for a stripper.

These dogs really had prominence in this season of the crown.

And I just, my heart goes out to her because she loves her dogs.

Yeah, I think one of the most interesting things about the crown, I mean, about the queen that I learned from the the crown was like how important like just like dog life and dog culture is to the queen and the monarchy in general.

Like part of being a royal is like taking care of dogs.

Yeah.

And that, honestly, I feel like the crown makes being a royal look like really unenjoyable and unpleasant.

But I would become a royal just to have like a gaggle of cavaliers.

Right.

And like someone else like walks, shits, grooms, and like they just love me.

A hundred percent.

Anyways, the queen is well known for her love of corgis, but her last dog of the breed, Whisper, died in 2018.

So now she has dorgies, which are the combo.

Like a

scoot, yeah.

I know.

Why do you say that without like a single person?

I'm just going to say, there are certain words I will never be able to spell correctly.

Okay.

Guarantee.

I have no idea how to spell it.

And there are certain words I will never be able to pronounce correctly.

And Daoshund is one of them.

I think it's Dachshund.

Okay, we are hearing.

My producer is telling me my ear: it is Dachshund.

Is that what what you said?

Dachshund, no way.

No way.

It's Dashund.

Dashund.

Dachshund.

Dachshund?

No way.

Oh, and by the way, let's just call a spade a spade.

I just want to say, Jackie, let's just call a spade a spade.

A Dachshund is a wiener dog.

Like, let's just call it that, because that's what it is.

Okay, but what's the kind of dog that Kendall Jenner has?

Those, like, big ones that...

Big ones.

I literally knew you were going to say that.

The ones, I think it's a Rottweiler.

Anyone know that?

A Rottweiler is literally like a guard dog that could kill you.

I think that's what Kendall has.

I saw it it on her story last night.

But a dockshund is special.

Honestly, talking about dog breeds is giving me PTSD.

I just want you guys to know how Dach Schund is spelled

so that you know why we're pronouncing it this way.

I would have, you could have paid said, I'll give you a billion dollars.

It's German.

I never would have said dochs in.

I would have went more German.

I would have said that.

I would have been like

spell it for the people.

Spell it for the people.

D-A-C-H-S-N.

D-A-C-H.

Dach.

S-H-U-N-D.

Dachshund.

Oh my God.

Okay, so Dachshund.

You truly learned something new every day from the morning toast.

Yesterday it was a slag merger, and today it's Dachshund.

That is the craziest news I've ever heard.

I like it need time to process.

What are like certain words that you will like never spell correctly?

There are so, I have a few words, and even my autocracked is like, what are you trying to spell this?

this?

Yeah, no Ben like literally

can for the life of him cannot spell opportunity right he spells it O-P-P-E-R-T-U-I-N-N-I-T-Y and you know what word I can spell ever is like physical psychic I can't spell any of those words that are like p-h-y-c like right yeah yeah yeah ever I really cannot spell guarantee like I am always like guarantee like I just cannot figure it out

It.

It.

It.

It's Guarantee.

Why did you just scream at me?

You scared the shit out of me.

You were like...

You know.

Oh, anti-culture.

Nobody, Jaggy.

Guarantee.

You know how anti-culture thrills me.

No, I know.

Like, you just.

Theo, it's guaranteed.

Theo's unfazed, neck broken, neck snapped.

like, whew.

That was funny.

Well, now you'll remember how to spell it.

Yes, I will.

Quaranti.

Fifth and final story.

Wow, a little pet biz news, PBN.

Are you ready for it?

Yes, ma'am.

PetGo has filed to go public as consumers adopt more pets during the pandemic.

Wow.

So it's just like big dog pet news.

Yeah.

They will be publicly, they want to be publicly traded again, this time on NASDAQ with the ticker.

You know what the ticker is?

Like their...

um the button no the letters that they're gonna use so like if it were publicly be TMT of course their ticker is going to be P-U-P

well no I guess they sell other pets besides dogs W-O-O-F

oh my god that's so oh sorry Theo I didn't mean to wake you up

That is so cute, but you know what?

And maybe this is gonna be like crazy something about like mass

commercial businesses like around around pets like gives me a pit.

Like I just don't want to know what the house what they do to the pets at Petco.

Honestly, I was at a Petco like very recently and

it was a little pit induced.

Do you know what I mean?

And it's like they say Petco where the pets go, but it sounds more like Petco where the pets get treated poorly.

Like I just have a bad feeling about it, you know?

And this is not based on any proof.

I feel like because when there's When there's so many businesses, like Petco is so successful, there's probably hundreds of stores, and you're bound to have like at least one and, you know, maximum, like a lot of employees who are not kind towards animals right no then it's just like a quality control problem on behalf of petco i've just and i'm not saying you know it's better than i'm just i'm not i don't have any proof i'm just i get weird vibes from like mass market mass commercial businesses about pets i hear what you're saying a much more of a boutique like yeah mom and small business yeah

because they like care about their pets where it's like petco has you know they just care about the bottom line yeah i but i think the person who started it like must have cared about pets to like devote their whole life

to the pet industry.

We've been to a pet co only once.

There's like not actually, there's one in the city.

It's really far.

Is it?

Yeah, I just buy everything online.

Like if you like whoever's invented Chewy is an absolute genius.

Chewy.

Chewy.

First of all, the name is so cute.

Second of all, it's just like Amazon exclusively for pets, and they have like just as good a shipping as Amazon.

And like they have just as good of like data remembrance where it's like, I don't need to put my address in again.

Yeah.

And my billing and my shipping and my credit card.

And they work with your vet.

So it's like if you need certain like meds or like Theo's was on a food for a while that was like pet prescribed vet prescribed, it's just like a fabulous product.

Yeah, very good.

Are they public, Chewy?

For sure.

You think?

I feel like if Petco's not, Chewy is like newer.

Yeah, but Chewy's digital.

Like digital moves fast, man.

Chewy, the online business for PetSmart that went public more than a year ago.

Yes.

Thank you.

Has seen its share rise more than 150% so far this year to a market value of 30.3 billion.

I feel like this is a good like tip.

Investment.

Yeah, I feel like on my Robin Hood,

this is not an ad segue.

I just do actually use Robin Hood.

I feel like I should buy some shares of Chewy.

You should.

And Chewy's ticker is C-H-W-I, less cute than Wolf.

W-I or why?

C-H-W-I.

Oh, okay.

Less cute than Wolf.

Way less cute.

Always cute, though, still.

Always cute.

Okay, those are the fast-track stories.

And I do feel as though, in some way, shape, or form, you needed to know each one of them.

Okay, and I'm really excited because while we don't have a TV recap segment today, we do have a Kelly's Mindless News, and it is so mind-blowing.

Like, it may be one of the worst offenses yet.

And our

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So I'm

crunchy man.

Loving the auntie.

I'm particularly excited about today's episode, today's segment of Kelly's Mindless News, like the 4th of July.

Because of course, it is from Hello Magazine, like the number one offender of Kelly Rippa.

And her mindlessness.

And her mindlessness.

So here is the

headline.

Okay.

Kelly Rippa's stunning beach photo with Mark Consuelos is Couple Goals.

Okay.

Kelly Rippa and Mark Consuelos love a beach

getaway, and while they can't currently jet off for a romantic vacation, they can still reminisce about one.

So just the mere concept that one of Kelly Rippa's like throwback Thursday posts is getting written up is so absurd, but okay.

Sure.

You would think like if it's getting written up, it must be something sensational.

Of course.

The live with Kelly and Ryan host shared a throwback photo with her shirtless husband on Instagram stories on Thursday.

Oh, it's not even a photo post.

It was a story.

Her Instagram story is getting written up.

The live with Kelly and Ryan host shared a throwback photo with her shirtless husband on Instagram stories on Thursday as she counted down the days until she'd see him next.

In the loved up selfie, Kelly is snuggled up behind Mark and they are smiling for the camera.

So what do you think?

What do you think we're going to get?

We're being described as a stunning beach photo.

Okay, I'm going to say Kelly and Mark, like maybe in the 80s or the 90s, together on the beach, like a couple, cute couple girls photo, like nothing crazy.

Okay.

ready?

I'm literally scared.

Obviously, this will be posted on our Instagram, so you can go check it out for reference.

It is a blurry Zoom, you wouldn't even know they're on the beach except for the beach.

I thought it was like obviously a third party took the photo.

There's a beach behind them, they're standing in front of the waves, like a beach pic.

They're really, it's not that revolutionary, but like that's what you described.

I really feel like we're onto something.

Hello magazine is really

They're the number one offender of mindlessness.

Yeah, that is so crazy.

It never ceases to amaze, honestly.

Like, just when you think it can't get worse, bam,

bam, there it is.

It's so mindless, and it's so, it's such an like that's modern-day journalism.

How does that make you feel as someone who briefly studied journalism in college?

Um, it makes me feel like deeply sad for like the state of the world.

Yep, and that's where we're at, you guys.

That's the mindlessness that you definitely needed to know before you jet off into the weekend.

You have any big weekend plans?

Well, I'm just going to continue to organize my apartment.

I have so much like house stuff to do.

I have a lot of organizing and going through my closets and just figuring out where things are going to go.

And I'm so looking forward to being done with that and then enjoying my new pad.

Yeah, that's exciting.

Like, again, super happy and jealous that like you have this like big new journey ahead of you.

Yeah.

What about you?

I have absolutely no plans.

Just going to, you know, probably do what I do every day and like watch a lot of TV.

Hang out with me.

We should go to dinner or something.

Oh my God, I would love to.

I'd love to take you to this new restaurant I've been telling you about.

Tomorrow night?

Sure, fabulous.

Let's do it.

Fabulous.

Let's go.

Fabulous.

Fabulous.

Fabulous.

fabulous fabulous is like a word that i've been reintroduced to like maybe a year ago from margo because she like said it once and i never like forgot it and it's such a fabulous word it is and it makes you like only

like older mature stunning fabulous women use it you know you say when you were in high school no only women of like elevated like elegance use it yeah and i want to be that i want to be elevated elegance yes exactly so you guys thanks for a great week of shows we hope you enjoyed all the content being put out today yesterday, the day before.

Every day.

Every day.

If you're looking for more content, maybe it's time for you to become a Patreon member.

Patreon is our subscription service.

So if you're new here, you don't know what our Patreon is that we're always talking about.

This show is totally free.

But if you're looking to get some more content from us, we release five extra episodes a month on our Patreon channel for $7.99.

Those five episodes are vlogs, they're podcast episodes, videos featuring husbands, sisters.

It's a little bit more in-depth.

Yes, a little bit more in-depth, more behind the scenes.

You know, we're behind a paywall.

We get a little crazy over there.

And if you sign up now, you get access to all of our old episodes.

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So patreon.com slash the morning toast is the website to use for that.

And thanks for the continued support.

Thanks for watching this week.

We hope you had an amazing weekend.

Have a good weekend.

Stay safe.

Stay smart.

Be cool.

Don't drink and drive.

Thank you so much for listening to The Morning Toast and London Morning Show where we deliver the fast fact stories you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

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Truckers for TMT coming out to play.

What's good?

Hope you guys have an amazing weekend.

We'll see you on Monday.

Goodbye.

Follow me on Instagram, Jackie Asher.

Goodbye.

Good.