S3 Ep196: Press Play: Wednesday, December 2nd, 2020

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Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the morning toast.

Happy Wednesday.

It is hump day.

So make sure to hump someone you love.

I've already gotten started this morning with my son who's looking so sexy this morning.

Theo.

Hey, Jess.

Hey, doo.

Hey, doo-doo-doo.

So good to see you.

You look so beautiful, stunning, and smart.

Ugh, Theo is just like everything.

He's just what you need to, like, power through your week, you know?

It is.

Like, just,

it is.

Are you referring to Theo, isn't it?

No, that it's just what you need.

Oh, okay, because he's just what you need, and so therefore you just.

That sentiment is just what you need.

Sure, sure, sure.

I just wanted to make sure, you know, we weren't,

you know, going down that road.

But why would I ever do that?

Have you ever known me to do that?

No, that's why it was so out of character for you.

I just had to call you on it.

Right, but you were wrong.

Jacuse.

Jacuse.

Hope everyone had an amazing day yesterday.

It's been 24 hours since we last saw you.

Not that much has happened.

We have a good amount of stuff to discuss.

The Bachelorette was on last night.

Yes.

It is Wednesday, which means our dear toasters.

It's just like, you know, it's so in demand.

Everyone wants to know, like, when's the next dear toasters?

When's the next deer toasters?

It's always Wednesday.

It's today, you guys.

So if you ever want to write in, the email is deartoasters at gmail.com.

We will read your advice completely anonymously on air and give our, you know, we'll we'll try our best.

We will.

We give good advice.

Feels like a while since we've done a dear toasters, so I have some fresh advice being cooked up.

Hi, Dew.

Yeah, I mean,

yesterday was a crazy day.

Spotify rapped came out, and I know.

We were just talking about it, too.

It's such a great day when Spotify rapture comes out.

December 1st, I guess.

No, I know, but then it's like, it's really not a 2020, it's an 11-month.

Yes, and then my question is, does the music you listen to in December count towards anything?

Like, could I just start listening to crazy stuff just cuz

because the count doesn't start till January 1st and like no one's looking right now?

No, no, that's such an excellent question.

I don't know.

I definitely don't think it goes into your 2020.

That wouldn't make sense.

Because it's not in 2021.

I don't know.

I would need

some follow-up from the Spotify team.

If they did go into the 2020, I would have more Christmas music in my Spotify rapture.

By 2021.

Yeah, 2021, because I listen to the Christmas music in December.

Right.

I don't have any Christmas songs in my top 100.

Maybe that's why they don't include December in their rapt because it's like skewed data.

It's influenced by the holiday.

Right.

Yeah, but it is interesting.

Also, I feel like they usually give you a nice thing.

Maybe this came in my email and I missed it where it's like, buy some.

Do you get an email?

They usually send you an email letting you know your rapt is here.

Did you get it?

Well, it goes to my college email, which I don't check.

But I should check it because usually they send in your email like what you were listening to in the fall, in the spring.

Right.

And I do like the data broken down in that way as well.

I just find it such a premium experience, like to go find your data and then like the little stories they put together with the music playing in the background, bright colors.

It's a really premium experience.

It's so premium.

We actually have a story about Spotify rap, so we'll share our insights then.

But I just want to say everyone was tagging us in the minutes they listened to the toast.

And like I was posting so many of them on my stories, even though I know it's like annoying for the viewers.

It's like a classic annoying thing on social media.

I was just like so grateful.

Proud.

Proud and also grateful.

to everyone who listens to the show for thousands of hours, who listens to hundreds of episodes.

Like this year has been just extremely trying and I feel like for a lot of you and for us too like the toast has been the constant like a life raft a little bit and I'm just like really grateful for to everyone who's listened this year that yeah so we're just being annoying like showing everyone we have so many listeners you know like I also I wish I could post all of the mentions yeah but now I've just started posting like the ones that are like hundreds of episodes no it's actually crazy just seeing how much um how many episodes people listen to a year because we have had 204 new episodes this year but some people have watched like over 400 episodes because they're listening to old episodes too.

204.

Our

podcast?

Yeah, no, our

back end.

Oh, interesting.

I saw that.

And that's without Patreon.

I saw that too, but it's 204.

Oh, wow.

We do so many episodes.

It's insane.

I know.

But then it was.

And then some people are posting.

I listened to 180 episodes.

I'm like, well, you missed 20.

Yeah, no, no.

I was thinking the same thing.

I'm like, 180?

That's not enough.

You haven't listened to all of them though?

Well, then I was also thinking, okay, so we're up to 204 episodes.

We probably have like 15 more episodes, maybe, no, no, no, maybe less this year, but there's 365 days in a year.

Now, of course, you have to take out weekends, holidays, and vacations.

So it's just like, how many week days are there in a year?

I mean, we could, here, I'll do it quickly.

So there's 52 weeks in a year means that there's 56.

52 jumps.

There's 52 weekends.

Oh, sure.

104 weekends.

So 365 minus 104 is 261.

Oh, and we did, we'll end up doing like 215, 220.

I think that's pretty good.

Yeah, plus like established holidays, and then like when we were away in August, we did one episode a week.

And plus Patreon.

Plus Patreon probably brings us back to like two, probably brings us around 250.

So there is probably, hypothetically, an episode of the morning toast for every weekday of the year.

Probably.

That's our intention.

Because if we're not here, we're doing Patreon and we're always just giving like content in random places.

Yeah.

It's also a leap year.

So we had that extra day for you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I forgot it was a leap year.

So much happened.

I know.

And the leap day was before all this coronavirus drama.

We got one more good day in, though.

That's true.

You got to count your blessings.

Oh, my God.

I'm so grateful.

You know, I feel really, you know, I don't really know a lot of stuff like about science or history or geography or biology or pretty much any of the allegies.

But I feel really like,

you know, when it's like you know one weird piece of trivia and like you just

bring it up whenever you're working into every piece of conversation.

i like understand why we have leap years and it's like what because i i learned it in school once and i just never forgot it it's like weird what sticks with you and i feel so proud do you want to do you know why i think people would want to know why sometimes we do like to educate and inform here so do you know that every year is how many days 365 claudia wrong it's actually 365 and six hours okay so every four years those extra six hours accumulate in one extra day and that's what leap day february 29th right february 29th yeah i believe we were in la the LA Steens.

You want to know how I know that?

How?

Because I just got my Spotify wrapped, my number one song of the year.

I'm going to spoil this, even though we do have a story about just Spotify rapped in general.

My number one song of the year was Stupid Love by Lady Gaga.

They said the first time that I played it was February 28th, and it came out while we were in LA.

Remember, we were like listening, and can you believe?

And if you listen to my reaction, because I think we talked about on the toast, my reaction to that song, I was like, it's good, it was whatever.

Number one song of the year for me.

I mean, I also just can't believe we traveled

like a week before coronavirus.

Yeah, and then I was also in Miami for President's Day weekend.

That was before that.

Oh, it was.

Yeah.

So, like, it was just like now that we've, it's December.

So, like, pardon me for just getting like emotional, like, perspective, you know, like, it's just so crazy, like, when you take a step back and realize how, like, we were moving so fast, like, even like the week before coronavirus, like, we would not be stopped.

Like, not we, you and I, we as a society.

Like, we as a society.

Everything was just still happening.

And then one day, like, the world just paused and it never turned back on.

please.

Please.

Um, so yeah, sorry to get all introspective, but I feel like this is the month, and it's December 2nd, so we're starting early.

But, like, where, and even in the story today, you'll see like everything is now like year-end roundup.

Like, we have like people apparently has their people of the year, everything is of the year.

We got Spotify rap, like, yeah, we're, and I feel like we're gonna be doing a lot of episodes that are like our best of the year.

Even the Redheads, oh, I need to make this announcement because I only announced it on Instagram Live.

Such a big deal, you guys.

Maybe just take a second.

If you're listening to this podcast, sit down and just brace yourselves for what's about to come.

Maybe major news.

Maybe you take a second and stop being so mean to the Redheads who are going to be like such a

bad person of support for you.

I wasn't being mean.

I'm dead serious.

It's a really big deal.

It's not a really big deal, but it's a big deal.

The Redheads episode this week is dropping one week later because of scheduling conflicts.

We wanted to be able to record in person, make it the best episode possible because we're going to do our whole year in review and the book that we read this month is it so it will drop next thursday not tomorrow i'm sorry if this like ruins anything for you i told you guys you were gonna want to sit down i was right i wasn't being dramatic i'm being dead serious okay you can't just like throw a wrench at people's plans and not make it a big deal i know and i only had announced it on like the instagram live which i feel like millions of people watched but it was only millions billions it was only a handful so So now you know.

But yes, I agree with you.

I think something about like it now being December, this whole year we've been like, like, I can't believe it's already the summer.

But now that it's actually December, like...

December hit different.

For everyone.

And I think everyone's becoming like deeply

introspective and like nostalgic over the year.

Nostalgic for the good two months.

Yeah, so I think just putting the fact that it's December like really puts into perspective that like the year's over.

I know that's obvious seeing as how December is the last month, but like it just makes you like emo and stuff.

Yes, it definitely does.

And it's usually more fun to reflect on the year in December because there is like so much to reflect on.

This year is obviously different, but I I feel like we'll still have some things to reflect on like different phases of quarantine.

Like remember the tie-dye phase?

Yeah, that was a dark time.

There was Tiger King phase.

Tiger King phase.

I remember the, for me, the knitting phase.

That was, that was a low point for sure.

For me, there was like a chips phase where I was eating chips every day.

That sounds like an awesome thing.

Yeah, and then I was, I graduated to French fries.

Oh, for me, there was like the taco phase where like literally all I ate was tacos.

There was like Passover there.

That's how I started eating chips.

Passover.

I can't believe we had Passover and Zoom to Passover.

Yeah, that was so sad.

There was the Zoom Toast phase.

Zoom toast phase.

There was

some dark times.

I could bring up some bad stuff too, but I'm just looking to move forward, keep my head towards 2021.

2021.

We're right on track.

So, speaking of moving forward, let's get in.

Oh my god, you're like the nerd who drops all of his.

I have so many cards today because we have obviously the sponsors, but then we also have Deer Toaster.

So I'm like, oh no, I can't keep my cards up.

Sorry.

So unprofessional of me.

You're like the nerd.

No, I'm like, I get shoved into a locker.

I'm like, oh, oh, my kernel.

My textbook.

Okay, let's go.

When I'm ready.

Let's go.

I don't, I'm not feeling it.

Are you, what are you saying?

Okay, only I can do it.

Now it's time to dive into the fast five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

Don't hit that crunch.

Yeah, that's right.

Don't hit that crunch.

Yeah, that's right.

You don't do it.

You're not the only one who could do it, Jackie.

Okay.

And today's episode is brought to you by Hush Blankets, which has really been the true sponsor of quarantine.

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Love it.

Okay,

I was going to say something about hush blankets.

Oh, I just feel like I'm really feeling blankets right now.

Like it's blanket season.

Vibe

cultivation is so premium, and you need a blanket in order to achieve the cultivated vibes.

And also, blankets are an amazing gift.

Yes, I agree.

Like so cozy and personal.

In these times, especially.

Yes.

Okay, first story: big news of the day.

Ellen Page comes out as transgender, will be called Elliot.

Ellen Page is transgender and will now go by the name Elliot Page, he announced on social media on Tuesday.

Quote, I feel lucky to be writing this, to be here, to have arrived at this place in my life, he wrote.

I feel overwhelmingly gratitude for the incredible people who have supported me along this journey.

I can't begin to express how remarkable it feels to finally love who I am enough to pursue my authentic self.

Page said he will use he, they pronouns.

Got it.

I thought that the statement posted on his social media was like very profound and very well said.

And

I mean, this is just wonderful.

I feel like this is a big deal.

I feel like there aren't tons of celebrities.

I can only think of two

who have come out as transgender.

After being famous.

After being famous.

Yes, yes, yes.

And that's Caitlin Jenner and Chasbono.

Yeah.

Yeah, Chasbono.

Yeah, for sure.

No, it's so great.

It's always nice to see someone who's just like being their true complete self.

And I think that's the greatest feeling for anyone.

Totally.

I think some people have, you know, a tougher road getting there.

But I just always find it so inspiring.

Like,

because that's just the motto, be yourself.

Yeah, and it's, like, it's so much easier said than done.

But, like, when you, right, when you literally live your life feeling like you were born in the wrong body, like, that's such a big change.

And I agree.

Like, seeing people who just like do them and like unapologetically, like, I'm so jealous of that, you know?

Yeah.

So I'm happy for him.

Very happy.

So beautiful.

So many celebs are coming out to support Jason Sarah, James Gunn, Miley Cyrus, Anna Paquin.

Also, he is in Umbrella Academy.

Which I haven't heard of.

I've heard of it, and I think I've heard that it's really good, but I've never watched it.

I was just curious if you've seen it.

No, I have not seen it, but like people keep recommending new Netflix shows to me.

And like, I...

I'm actually feeling like my plate might be like on the verge of getting full, even though I'm like so in.

You have a big plate.

Even though I'm like so invested in Lost right now.

And I found out something crazy about Lost.

Okay.

So there's a character.

He's like a a young kid.

His name is Walt.

He's like a cutie, and he's like, he's important.

And obviously, this show was like 10 years ago.

And you know who Walt is now?

He's one half of MK MK.

MKTO?

Yes.

I'm like having a stroke today.

I can't.

I talk.

I love MKTO.

Out of my mind, in my name.

And when I was born in the wrong time, you won all the kind.

Living in a world of messy.

Baby, you're so classic.

Songs that have no business going that hard.

Yes, 100%.

And I just found out he's one half of MKTO.

I love that.

For him, me too.

That's a really happy ending.

So that's my dilemma now.

Yes, I've heard Umbrella Academy is very good.

I've heard In the Dark is very good.

I'm like missing out on some Netflix shows.

Never heard of In the Dark.

You should also watch Money Heist.

So good.

Is it a story about Millie Bobby Brown?

No.

So could we just talk about it really quickly?

Did you see the video she posted on social media?

No.

She was like, did a series of Instagram stories like crying about this experience she had in the mall where like some girl asked if she could if like she's like are you Millie millie bobby brown and millie bobby brown was like yeah and the girl was like can i take a video of you and millie bobby brown was like like a video of me just like standing here and the girl was like yeah and millie bobby brown was like no and then the girl like continued to like invade millie brown bobby brown's personal space and um like video her and her mom she was shopping and mall with her mom for holiday season and it was like kind of like really sad like like i think on the surface and i was reading people's like feedback from it.

It's like people didn't see what the big deal was.

Like it was like one girl.

But I like totally like felt for Millie Bobby Brown.

She's like 11 years old, you know?

Yeah, I mean, she is getting older, so I don't think she's 11 anymore.

No, I know, but she will always be 11 to me.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, no, I do know what you mean.

I think that is weird.

Like, if she, I'm sure if she had asked for a selfie, I'm sure Millie would have 100% said yes.

And that's what she said in the video.

She's like, I'll take a picture with anyone, but that's just weird.

Yeah.

That's a weird request.

Yeah, no, it is, right?

Like, why do you want a video of Millie Bobby?

Like, and it's not like she said, Can you say hi to my sister?

Wish my mom a happy birthday.

Like, she literally just said, I could video you.

Yeah, that is weird.

But it's become such a big story.

story and all i kept thinking about last night like is what is that girl thinking like she's like probably like in her home like locks herself in her bedroom and she's like freaking out how she like made millie bobby brown cry good that's good it's a learning lesson

no for sure it was a lesson that needs to be learned her lesson but at the end of the day she's just like a fan and she was probably like a nice girl millie babby brown didn't like to share her name or no no but i'm sure this girl just has like the biggest pit right right but she's learning a lesson yeah of course of course and it's important she's not gonna go and ruin someone else's day now it's important to to learn your lessons for sure but she's probably just like freaking out she's like I don't know how old she is, but I'm just, the way I picture it, she's a kid.

Yeah, well, you know, kids supporting other kids.

Always, always, always.

Yeah, no, I love to see a lesson learned.

Lessons being learned.

Okay, we have some hosting news.

Are you ready for it?

Oh, yes, I know what you're talking about.

Yes.

The talk names Amanda Clutz and Elaine Weltroth as co-hosts.

The talk named two co-hosts on Wednesday after Page 6 exclusively revealed that producers and network execs have been panicking over ratings.

So first, celebrity chainer Amanda Clutz, who who lost her husband, Broadway star Nick Cordero to COVID-19 earlier this year, and journalist Elaine Welt-Roth are joining the upcoming 11th season when it premieres on January 4th, 2021, the show announced.

Who are the other?

They'll join returning hosts Sharon Osborne, Cheryl Underwood, and Carrie Annanaba.

Yeah, I just found out that Carrie Annanaba was on.

Is she on CBS?

What channel is this?

The Talk.

Is that CBS?

That's, yes, a CBS Insider.

Okay, I have to say something.

You know, I find hosting news to be very interesting.

Like, I think what goes on with The View is very interesting i think the real is actually an amazing show um i'm always keeping up with hosting news and i have literally never in my life seen one minute of the talk i literally did not even know this was a show um they obviously have a problem with like brand imaging because i've never heard of it and yeah but i haven't like i i couldn't tell you who was on it but now like remembering that like sharon osborne is on a talk show sounds familiar it sounds familiar and marie osmond who just left okay i hear that but i'm like the view the real

the talk.

It's just like, I don't, I don't know her.

Do you know what I mean?

No, I do know what you mean.

It's definitely the view, the real, the what?

Right.

Yeah.

Like, um, this is, and so I'm glad that they're making waves with their hosting announcement and like that people are talking about it.

Maybe people will tune in.

Like, I just.

And by the way, we're not alone because sources recently told Page 6 that the show's bigwigs were, quote, panicking after the talk's ratings dropped to 1.5 million, half of the view's audience.

So like they are, you know, that, that third what?

Yeah, there's.

And they know it.

You know what they they are?

And the numbers show it.

You know what they are?

What?

Morning Glory.

Yes.

What was that show called?

Daybreak.

Daybreak, like that losery show with like no ratings.

We're just like trying to do their best.

But maybe

literally like CBS.

It was called like IBM.

IBS.

IBS.

Iridel Barris.

Yeah.

IBM is a tech company.

If you haven't seen the movie the

Morning Glory, like you just have to.

You just have to.

But so maybe they got a new bigwig in there in the form of Rachel McAdams.

Well, they brought in Harrison Ford, and that's not what they're doing here.

They're going like more.

Which they should.

And I actually think Amanda Clutes is a great

choice for them.

Like she's very digitally savvy.

She's young.

She's fresh.

Who was the other one announced?

Elaine Welchroth, who's a journalist.

She's great too.

She was on Project Runway.

She used to be the editor-in-chief of Teen Vogue, I think.

Or yeah.

These are actually two really, like, whoever chose these, whatever new big wig was put in charge of this particular wig, it did a good job because these are two actually like very.

Good choices that that could that give this show a chance.

Yeah,

a chance, yeah.

Yeah, like it's not confirmed it's going to be a hit now.

Yeah.

I actually think what's so great about the view is like, obviously I think it's like one of the few places on TV that's like

open dialogue, like people from all walks of like the political spectrum.

But it's also like young and old.

Like Megan McCain, I think, is the youngest one on there.

And like she lives and has totally different perspectives of like what's going on than like Joy Beher and Whoopi Goldberg.

So I actually think it's cool and they're probably mimicking that to have like someone super young like Elaine Welteroff, and then like Sharon Osborne, like two totally different walks of life.

Yes, but then it's like,

will they mix and will the conversation, like, you know, it's sort of that magic that you can't put your finger on.

Do they have it or do they not?

Right, and that's it.

And we'll find out on January 4th on CBS.

And that's why the view is so successful, because it's like they fight like crazy, but I think they've all known each other

for so long, even before the view.

So there's like that mutual love and respect that I don't think they actually like,

you watch and you're like, oh my God, these people hate each other, but they don't.

But I think that that there have been instances where they truly do.

And there's a couple of ladies who punch.

You know, then there was a dark time.

There was a dark time on the view.

I think that you should read that.

Yeah, I think I should.

That was, was that the Elizabeth Hasselback era?

It's like the whole era.

Oh, and the Barbara Walters.

It's like a history of the view.

That actually sounds interesting.

Yeah.

Okay.

Maybe I'll read that now.

That's a good.

After I finished The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V.

E.

Schwab, the new Redheads book, which is so good.

It's like so well written and like it, you know?

Yeah.

I'm really looking forward to your January selects.

Yeah, they should be interesting.

I don't know what we're gonna pick yet.

Oh, I think I know what you're gonna pick.

Girl with No Job, The Crazy Beautiful Life of an Instagram Thirst Monster.

My book comes out January 26, 2021.

You know, that really feels like it's so far, but it's not so far anymore.

So it's not.

Head over to girlwithnojob.com/slash book or just head over to my Instagram, Girl With No Job, tap the link in my bio.

You could shop my book at tons of places, obviously Amazon, Barnes and Noble, the classic places.

But you can also support local bookstores using bookshop.com or IndieBound.

And all the resources are on my Instagram.

And I would just really appreciate if you could pre-order it because that'll help me get into airports.

And I really want to be in airports because I just feel like famous people are in airports.

Like, if you're not in an airport, go home.

Yeah.

Okay, ready for our next story?

Always.

People.

Oh, wait.

No.

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Yes.

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It's a perfect wine from Usual Wines.

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Are we swaps?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Usual Wines is a great one.

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They're a fabulous brand.

They're like an amazing brand that's

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I love a glass and a half.

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That's always what I drink, a glass and a half.

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No, you're literally drinking garlic wine.

It's sick.

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Are you going to sneeze on that on that truth bomb?

Excuse me.

Also, not, I know it's not a fast five story, but really quickly, I wanted to talk about, I don't know if you guys heard, but our niece Michaela tried solid food today for the first time, and it's just such a big deal.

It's such a big deal.

Like, she is just making leaps and bounds.

No, she's a medical marvel, and she's literally going to be like the world's greatest scientist because she's a genius.

No, totally.

She was just chomping on this like breast milk oat milk, oatmeal.

So stunning.

And it was stunning.

And I just, it's big news, so I just wanted to share.

Yeah, and everyone's talking about it.

And we just always give you the news that you need to know, and that's definitely something you needed to know.

We would be not doing our job if we didn't share that.

Right.

Okay, next up, people apparently has people of the year, and they're revealing who those people are.

And this is different from like their most beautiful man.

Most beautiful, most sexy.

Yes.

This is different.

These are just like people, good people.

Okay.

According to people.

Okay.

George.

Oh, I see what they did there.

No, no, I did that.

Yeah, but I'm sure they did it too.

I guess.

I guess.

I don't know.

Like, what else would they do?

You know?

No, I know, but like, like, personally, celeb of the year, person of the year, like, I'm sure they literally intentionally use the word people.

Well, they introduced their 2020 people of the year.

We have George Clooney, Regina King, Dr.

Anthony Fauci, and Selena Gomez.

Faucilicious, definitious, make the boys go loco.

No.

Faucilicious, definitious makes the docs go loco.

Anyway, so it's like a nice group of people.

Yeah, Selena Gomez is on the cover.

And I guess like it really was a good year for Selena Gomez.

Because she launched her beauty line.

Aside from the drama with Saved by the Belle, which I'm sure she literally doesn't even care about.

Right.

Yeah, she launched Rare Beauty, which I believe was like a smashed success.

I saw really positive reviews for, like, and I went to, she did collabs with like certain YouTubers.

So obviously they said like the products were like heavenly.

But I also went to like people who would normally like rate makeup like.

completely honestly and apart from her sponge which was pretty much regarded as like terrible everyone loved everything in the brand.

So I haven't tried anything, but I've been meaning to try the eyeliner.

Yeah, no, I think she had like a great launch.

I think the brand is well on its way.

She also put out a number one album.

Oh, I forgot, yeah.

And became a successful cooking show host with her HBO Max series, Selena and Chef.

I feel like this is like the most she's done in a while.

Yeah, no, so it was a big year for her.

Virgo, people of the year.

Yeah, I don't know.

Like, if I was, you know, well, I guess I am a working person, but like, would I want 2020 to be like the year that I did the most?

I don't know.

I think any year that's going to be a good year.

Yeah, I think for sure.

Why not?

I don't know.

Who would be your people of the year?

Like, my person who I feel like accomplished the most in terms of business or like

either.

Because there's a bunch of people that run the gamut here, you know?

I would say like any public figure who didn't find themselves like wrapped up in some sort of controversy this year

is doing the most and is in the clear and is winning because it was really a terrible year to be a public figure or someone with like an Instagram following.

Yeah.

Okay.

So no one specifically.

I can't think of any.

Honestly, Gigi Hadid had a great year.

Like she had a full-blown baby and like is so famous.

Like people are just like dying.

Literally she posts a picture of her kids like hair.

They're like, look at Gigi's daughter.

Like people are obsessed.

So I think Gigi and Zane had a good year.

Okay.

Do you have someone?

I think Dr.

Theodore Fichemin had a good year.

Yeah.

He just.

I mean, it did get kind of competitive between him and Dr.

Fauci at certain points of the year.

It was Dr.

Fauci and Dr.

Fauci.

Yeah, which is, you know, it was, it got heated.

It did get heated, but he always has a good year.

Always.

He could, like, they could save him for next year.

Do you ever like think about people whose lives you want to switch with?

Not in those exact terms, but lives of which I am green with envy, Rachel Parcel.

Rachel Parcell.

Rachel Parcell had a good year.

Amazing.

I just don't think Rachel Parcell has ever had a bad year.

I know you don't know what goes on behind closed doors, but...

I know for sure she has never had a bad year.

So I've been thinking actually recently, I always think like, I wish I was Theo.

Like his life is just so stress-free.

It must be frustrating not to be able to like communicate, but also, I don't think he has like the emotional intelligence to know, like, what communicating is.

You know what I mean?

Um, but then I've also really been thinking about how, like, I'm green with envy over Olivia's life.

Like, she and her husband are just like so happy, they never leave their house, their baby's so fucking cute.

They like drink wine when the baby's asleep, and they just like cook fabulous meals.

And I've been thinking, like, I want her life.

Yeah, I would also put up Miss Kayler for people of the year.

100%.

Actually, I'm offended.

It's disgusting.

That it took us this long.

No, that she didn't even get an honorable mention from people magazine.

Sick.

Sick.

Kayla just was really like, I realize that babies exist outside of Kayla.

I fully accept that.

And that what Kaylor does for us, other babies do for other people.

But I just don't think anyone does it better.

No,

I believe that everyone believes that about their own

kin.

Yeah.

And I think that's just so wonderful.

I'm so happy for everyone who feels that way that we feel towards Kayla.

You know, it's an amazing feeling.

And I know I'm not unique in it, but I like to think that I am.

Yeah, no, that's nice.

Thanks.

Okay, ready for our next story?

A little words in like the streaming world?

Sure, sure, sure.

Discovery is going to launch a streaming service in January at $4.99 per month.

Discovery.

Verizon customers get a year free, and that is us.

Discovery HGTV.

HGTV, Shark Week, Food Network.

You know, the fam.

Magnolia.

I think they bought own, right?

Propra.

Winfree Network.

Yeah.

Okay, I mean, I don't know who needs this.

And I'm a big HGTV fan.

I feel like Discovery should have partnered with an existing streaming service.

Like, this is just on another level.

This is really niche.

Yeah.

But maybe this is the future.

Instead of everyone having channels, every channel is a streaming service.

And then you just go to the different apps in your, in your Roku instead of different channels, you know, cable.

That's a very interesting observation and something I could definitely see because I don't see a need for this.

And I'm someone who really likes

HGTV, but like watching it on cable is like more than enough for me.

Or I have the HGTV app where they have like loads of content are they gonna get rid of that i'm sure they'll do some sort of merge yeah you know sort of how like hbo go and hbl max just became one yeah that was confusing but i have to say like i'm actually really liking hbl max it's one of my favorite it's like really a a frontrunner in this streaming wars so far like the streaming wars

everyone's really stepped it up disney plus is everything of the sort you know who has yet to really like fix their problems hulu hulu yeah and their paws and then the show starts over and they don't know where you are they don't know what how many episodes you've watched You know how it's a shame by the way because they actually have I would say maybe top two in all the streaming platforms the best catalog of content like Desperate Housewives is on there.

I'm watching lost on there like they have the most mad men was on there like they have the most random stuff.

But you know mad men was prime sorry.

Yeah, and I think I watched mad men on Netflix when it was on also

the thing about who oh what I was gonna say is A streaming service that had a really good like pause play remembrance memory was Acorn, where I watched A Place to Call Home, which was one of the highlights of my year.

I need to keep that in the back of my mind for when we do like recaps.

I need your help.

So, I started A Place to Call Home, and I just like never really got into it, but I had to pay $7.99 a month.

I cannot figure out how to cancel it.

Literally, I go to the website, they're like, Oh, you signed up on your TV, you have to cancel on your TV.

Go to my TV, they say, Oh, you signed up on your computer, you have to cancel on your computer.

They're swindling me.

I'm about to just cancel my whole fucking credit card, like just to get this $7.99.

It's killing me.

Like, I did the week-free trial, and I knew I remembered to cancel it before the trial was up, but they are swindling me.

Understood.

Well, I think that it's just a sign that you should watch the show.

No, my plate is full, and I never really liked it.

Maybe they know that you haven't given it a fair shot yet.

I feel like six episodes is a fair shot.

Oh, you really didn't like it?

I didn't not like it.

It just didn't, like, I didn't wake up and be like, what's going on in Vanessa?

Vanessa today.

In Vanesse.

Oh, in Inverness?

Inverness.

What's going on Inverness?

In Inverness.

In Inverness.

Got it, okay.

Yeah, no, I just, I didn't, I didn't connect with it.

Okay, fine.

Not for everyone.

Fifth and final story.

You ready for it?

Always.

A little data news from Spotify, amongst all the other data they're giving us.

They're letting us know that the most streamed artist on Spotify for 2020 was...

Let me guess.

I don't know if you're going to guess.

Billie Eilish?

No.

Maluma?

No.

Bad Bunny?

Bad Bunny.

Yeah.

The Puerto Rican superstar is the music platform's most streamed artist of the year with 8.3 billion streams globally.

The Latin Grammy winner and hitmaker, who released a new album last week, leads a top five list that also includes Drake, Jay Balvin, Juice World, and The Weekend.

That's crazy.

That's not who I would expect.

No, that's not who I would expect either.

That's an interesting top five.

Yeah.

I also watched the Billie Eilish totally random.

I watched her Vanity Fair thing last night.

The same interview every year.

It was kind of like kind of long and annoying to watch.

I just wanted to see her 2021.

Like, I've seen the other ones.

I don't need to keep re-watching them.

It was kind of frustratingly edited.

Oh.

You know?

I've never watched one of them, but I like the concept.

I like seeing her hair change each year.

Like, that's cool.

2019 to 2020.

It did not change.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's interesting.

Anyway, so that's just an interesting piece of information.

Congratulations to Bad Bunny on the amazing year.

Now I want to hear what's in your Spotify rap.

Well, mine was actually really shocking because

like I always knew I was like a big Lauren Elena fan, but I guess I didn't realize like how big of a fan I was because my number one song was getting good.

Like that's the song I listened to the most times this year.

Wow.

Such a good song.

What was yours?

My number one song was Stupid Love by Lady Gaga.

Okay.

Number two song.

Even though I'm Leaving by Luke Homes.

This Bar by Morgan Wallins.

Wow.

I found myself in this bar.

Making mistakes and making new friends.

Number three.

I was growing up with nothing made sense.

Once, oops.

No, not like me, yawning in the dark.

I listened to it, what, a hundred times?

I still don't know the words.

I still don't know the words.

I found myself in this box.

Number three.

Physical Jua Lippa.

Stunning song.

Before you go, Louis Capaldi.

Interesting.

Number four.

Hollywood Louis Capaldi.

Mine is Invisible String by Taylor Swift, which I find really interesting because that's definitely number one song from folklore for you then.

But it's not.

But it is more than peace, apparently.

But I feel like it might just be like when I but the thing is with folklore and mostly Taylor Swift, I always buy her albums because I know like she's a big purveyor of like artists owning their own work or whatever.

So I actually listened to most of my Taylor on Apple Music because I own reputation, I own folklore, I own Lover.

So I feel like my Taylor Swift data is actually not accurate on Spotify, even though she was my number one artist and they said I was within like 1% of, you know, her top listenership.

I feel like I was actually more because I listened to more of it on

her top 2% of listenership.

That's crazy.

And you know, Olivia, who's like always like hating on Taylor Swift, just because Olivia is like, you know, she's like off the beaten path.

They're just like, they're not.

Who was Olivia's number one artist?

Taylor motherfucking Swift.

Well, it was the year of Taylor Swift.

What was your number five song?

August by Taylor Swift, which I, which tracks.

But I just think, like, folklore was probably my number four in five songs for sure.

But I don't know if it was definitely August, but I feel like it also would have been Bettier Piece.

Got it.

My number five was Before You Go by Louis Capaldi.

So I have two Louis Capaldi.

I've been trying to tell you guys that I'm really into Louis Capaldi, and now Spotify just showed you.

Two Louis Capaldi songs in my top five.

What song did you like discover before it hit 50,000 streams?

Oh,

I didn't take a screenshot of that.

Mine is Country Unmade by Lauren Elena.

Like I'm literally Lauren Elena's number number one fan.

That's so funny.

And then who are your top artists?

Taylor Swift, number one.

Same.

Wow.

Number two?

Lady A.

Wow, Luke Holmes for me.

Because I made a playlist called Lady A of all of my favorite songs, pretty much all of their songs.

Mine is like five or six that I can't stand, where I would just listen to it on shuffle.

And I did the same thing for my number three artist, Rascal Flats.

And that's also because I thought they were retiring and that we were going to go on tour and follow them and like Dumali every night.

And then that didn't happen.

My number three was Five Seconds a Summer, which I really loved.

Like, I know the data is like statistical, so it's like so me, but it really is like so me.

You know?

That's funny, yeah.

My number four was also Rascal Flats.

My number four was Lady Gaga.

And then my number five was Queen Lauren Elena.

My number five was Luke Homes.

I just really feel like really represented by like these top artists.

Like, I do feel, obviously, like, I wish like Morgan Ma were in there and like, you know, some other artists that I loved.

But I do feel like this is an accurate representation of me, but that's because it is.

Yeah.

I also thought really interesting was my top genres, and I feel like they were definitely skewed because of folklore because my number one pop genre was pop and I definitely do not listen to pop the most I listen to contemporary country which was my number two which is right behind like us but it must have been because of folklore pushed it over the edge and just probably my general love for Taylor Swift pushed it over the edge and then also my number three was Christian music.

Oh, that's so interesting.

My number three was Christian music also.

My number two was contemporary country and my number one was pop.

I don't know if like people find other people's, I feel like talking about your stats is like talking about your dreams.

Like, nobody cares.

I know, okay.

And I feel that way too.

I'm just like so interested in it that I can't help but share it.

And also, like, we do talk a lot about this show, like about pop culture.

And so it's interesting to hear what we actually listen to.

Like, I feel like we talked about so many albums.

Like, Ari has an album coming out.

Apparently, I didn't listen to it.

Yeah.

You know, so I definitely agree with that.

I think these are the things that track.

Our data is, you know, further proof of our stanhood to literally everything we talk about here.

Right.

It's not like I go home and like listen to Bach and then come here

do dabble in Beethoven.

And I come here and pretend to be like a pop queen.

Yeah, no, I agree with you.

Like this is just proof that we do our homework.

No, that like we're, yeah, we do homework.

We're here for a reason.

Yeah.

Okay, well, those are the fast fact stories.

You needed to know them.

And speaking of things you didn't need to know, let's talk about last night's bachelorette.

Let's talk about it.

It was really like

an episode for me where I feel like up until now, I've really been feeling like all these guys, like I love them, and now they're like all individually starting to annoy me.

Oh, interesting.

I there's like two or three people who I came into the season like feeling really strong towards and now I'm like out on them well Margot the snatchler posted probably the most um profound tweet about Bennett that I couldn't agree more with and it's it's that quote and every time I hear this quote it shakes me to my core you told me about it and you said Ariana on Vanderpump Rule said it to Sheena Toshina um but it's actually a direct quote when Ben made me watch Batman over quarantine it's from Batman and it's obviously you either die the hero or live long enough to become the villain.

And that is Bennett to AT.

Literally, I thought he was so funny.

Even like, even up until like last week, the week before, like when he was being like mean, I thought, I still thought it was funny.

Now he's gotten to a place that is so fucking annoying.

Like, I cannot wait for him to go home.

So stupid.

And the first person to use the word emotional intelligence on The Bachelor is out.

Agreed.

And I'm out on them.

And that, that whole emotional intelligence thing is like, it's so played out.

I mean, when he was describing the four tenets of emotional intelligence, I was kind of interested.

I agree.

I was listening to a seminar on emotional intelligence because I didn't know that.

Right, but like separate from the episode of The Bachelor.

And I don't even want to decide whose side I'm on or like who I think is wrong or right because at the end of the day, it doesn't matter.

Because if you have somehow found yourself in this room with Tayshia like fighting about drama, like you're not the man for Tayshia.

And that's at the end of the day, like that's all that matters.

That is all that matters.

So let's start from the beginning because she had a one-on-one with Zaxi.

Whom I love.

Whom I love.

The date itself was like wedding pictures that like the footage was better than the photos that were blurry.

Why did they do that?

It was so strange.

And I thought that was a good idea.

It was like a terrible promo for the photographer.

I know.

I thought the same thing.

Every time they snapped the picture and showed what it turned out, there literally looked like somebody put Vaseline on the lens.

No, exactly.

Like iPhone portrait mode would have been better.

No, I was so confused.

So confusing.

And why do they do dates like that?

It's such a terrible concept for a date.

They did make it fun and cute, sort of.

But

when he was like, this is how it actually feels on your wedding day, it's like...

No one's not.

You're just wearing a suit.

No, but I did,

I was actually really shocked when he also said he was married briefly at one point.

And anytime one of the contestants says that they're married, I'm like, fuck yes.

Like, this is the man for you.

Because now there's two.

Brendan, who I still really like, and I think Tatia still really likes.

And now Zach C.

And obviously him talking about his wedding opened up this huge floodgate into like what he went through.

In the past 10 years.

In the past 10 years, which I thought was very inspiring and very honest.

Like every time he revealed something new about himself, I'm like, oh, wow, that's it.

And then he's like, literally, he just didn't stop.

It was like honesty, truth, honesty, truth.

Like, he just opened up so much.

And honestly, I don't think I've ever seen anyone on the show be that honest.

100% and like he could have been more vague vague about it but he he just went there and he really opened up and shared he didn't hold back and I thought I was very impressed by his honesty as well I think Tayshia was he got the rose and I think she already really liked him before and I think they're like you know they have that bond now.

I agree.

I was just really shook at the sheer honesty of it.

Yeah, there's he's one to watch.

100%.

He's definitely up there, like maybe makes it to hometowns.

Then we go on the group date, which was the whole art thing.

And

I really don't want to be mean.

So I'm really just not going to say anything.

Okay, I don't want to be mean, but I'm going to say something.

First, I just want to say, like, I think when anybody opens up about like their struggles and their past, especially on TV, but even not on TV, in real life, like, I think that it is so great.

I couldn't really.

And it's become this like trope on the bachelor.

You get your one-on-one and then you share like the thing that you went through.

And I think we've all become really accustomed to that.

And that is really important in getting to know someone.

In a relationship.

Oh, 100%.

I feel like I have such a better sense of who Zaxi is now, knowing so much about him

than I did before his 101.

And having dinner with Tayshia in a romantic setting is the perfect place to open up.

I just went.

I feel like it went down on the group date where it's like they're all going on.

It's almost like a competition of like who's been through like the worst thing.

And like it was so,

it almost like.

It devalues.

It doesn't do justice to like these things that these men have actually been through.

And I feel like for Tayshia, I don't know who made it this way, but I feel like for for Tatia like that is so much for one woman to have on her shoulders all of these men who are vying for her and now they've all completely opened themselves up in front of each other that's why she was crying that's why she was crying it's too heavy no I couldn't agree more I thought the setting was like just wholly inappropriate like like let's just talk about like the actual like um physical like everyone's standing in a square holding frames like it was just not ideal physical setting then I don't know you want to open up about your trauma like in front of 20 relative strangers like And then also think about the cameramen, the producers, like there's just so many people.

And the whole thing gave me a weird vibe.

And I thought what everyone opened up about was like really lovely.

And I don't want to.

It's really personal.

And I'm not saying anything bad about that because I think like any person, let alone like a man who opens up, like it's, it's hard.

And I just, like, it just didn't.

make me feel the way I think it was intended to make me feel.

Yeah.

And I think it's a lot of pressure for Tayshia to like have

to

criticize all of that information to all of these guys like in front of each one of them.

It's just a lot.

Like it was like a painting.

It's like started as like a nude,

like a junkie, nude painting thing.

Yeah, I agree.

But I think there were some people who did like a really cute, and I think it started out light and then it just got super heavy.

Yeah, Brandon with his frame where he put himself in the portrait and then like turned it to the side.

Like that was perfect.

Ivan with the puzzle piece, like King Ivan.

He's definitely top four material.

And not, and I can't stress this enough because I don't want people to like give me shit.

I'm not saying anything.

And You know who I think handled it well?

Ben

because naked Ben.

Because when he got naked, I'm like, this is bizarre and kind of weird.

But oh, but then he told her privately.

And it followed up and it made sense.

Like, oh, him showing off his body is like a really big deal.

And he told her privately.

Like, I don't know.

To me, like, that made more sense.

Right.

And I'm not necessarily judging the men for sharing.

I just don't know what like circumstances led to, okay, we're all gonna like, you know, open up today.

I just feel, I just thought it was like,

it was, it was.

It reminded me of this episode of Friends where it's Thanksgiving, and everyone is like, it's just like, all these lies are coming to truth.

And, and Ross, Ross says this thing, and that's reminding me.

He's like, it's Thanksgiving, not Truth Day.

And like, that's when it felt like everyone was just like telling their truth.

It's naked art, not truth day.

When it felt so random because they were just doing an art class, and obviously, like, production told them to do this.

And like, that's just what I didn't agree with.

Like, production, like, I don't know, it felt like exploiting people's trauma.

I totally agree.

And I can't stress this enough.

I'm not saying what any of the guys did was wrong.

I just felt like the whole setting was very strange.

I totally agree.

That's how I feel also.

And then we spent like the last 20 minutes of the episode, like, oh, there was one more one-on-one with

and he got sent home.

Yeah, that was.

And that was so strange.

That was very, very strange.

But I did think it was kind of weird of him to say that he was falling in love with her when he literally never spent a lot of time.

So that is like, you either think it's going to be the thing that keeps you here till the end, or it gets you sent home because you stay one minute too early.

Too early.

Yeah.

By the way, like, I don't even think I've ever seen Tatia and Easy talk.

So, like, he's obviously not in love with her.

Like, I just think he's seen one too many episodes of The Bachelor and like knows that that's a step you have to take and wanted to be like ahead of the curve.

But not on your first one-on-one.

No, but I was having so much fun on the one-on-one until that moment because it was so funny.

Like, um, the haunted house, like, I just thought it was hilarious.

Like, Tayshia's so funny, Easy's so funny.

I actually think they might have been, like, really compatible, but I just don't think EZ was being, and I liked EZ a lot.

I just don't think he was coming off, like, at all, like, authentic.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, and I think she has like a good radar for that.

Yeah, and I do think, like,

if he hadn't said, I'm falling in love with you, like, he probably would have gotten the rose.

But, like, you're not, even if you really, really like her, like, you're not falling in love with her yet.

Your date was like a fun, silly thing.

That's not like falling in love yet.

You guys have yet to even like open yourselves up to each other.

Yeah, 100%.

So, I, I, I saw why she sent him, I thought it was just like surprising.

And I actually really like when bachelorettes send guys home, like, in the middle of dates, not to embarrass them or anything, but just to not waste their time.

And so, while I appreciated that, like, I was just surprised because I think Easy's such a catch, yeah, and he's been like probably one of my favorites since the beginning, yeah, even with Claire.

No, and they literally flashed to the guys in the house being like, They probably have the strongest connection, like, there's no way he's going home, yeah.

And so, I thought they were setting us up when they were showing to the guys, all saying that, I thought they were setting us up for like easy going really far because I hadn't thought that they had like an immediate, obvious connection.

But the guys, obviously, in the house, see something that we don't see, yeah.

But they're obviously just setting us up to trick us, like, right?

Like, no, that's I, you should have known when that happened, But there's no way he's going home.

Yeah.

Going home, home.

And then I don't even, like, the Noah and Bennett stuff is so dumb, but Taysa looked fire as fuck when she walked into that room stunning that dress.

She's really, I know they have the same stylist for every bachelorette and for every season, but he like just, I think he's just really connecting with Tayshia and her body because he's dressing her like just so well.

So well, I was actually thinking, like, if the turnaround was so quick for her to become the bachelorette, like, how did they get all of these, like, sickening styles for her?

I'm sure they, like, ordered from revolve and and by the way i'm sure tayshia and claire are similar sizes oh yeah like they could wear the same yeah no but this and then i'm sure they have a city the green dress she wore to dinner with easy i was like with the chain sleeves was so sad well she just looks amazing like at every turn i she not to obviously like pit anyone against each other but like she's Like so fucking stunningly beautiful.

Like I just I can't she's a pleasure to watch on television.

I completely agree.

Like just a true and her looks are completely on point.

And she looks great, even though those wedding dresses were absolutely absolutely heinous.

Like each one she came out in was more ugly than the next.

She carried them all with grace and elegance.

She really did.

Also, JoJo showed up.

Oh, that's the other thing I want to talk about, like how weird this season is.

Like, so rare.

We have two bachelorettes in one season.

And it just feels like everything about the season is so flaky.

Like, they're not traveling.

There's not even a full bachelorette.

Chris Harrison just ups and leaves for the first time in 15 years.

Like the whole season just feels so like stitched together, like with a band-aid, you know?

Also, what's like really,

I can't help but think about it every single time a new person shows up even the photographer for the wedding which was like so unnecessary they had to quarantine it no but it's like did they quarantine did joe like jojo yes um

like ashley i jared like everyone who came through they quarantined like the way that they showed the men going through it like every single person who's hopping on did the same thing and it's fine if they didn't but they like were able to confirm that they were

i think they definitely did i don't think they did like two weeks test to two weeks test like i do i don't i really do because think about when this was filmed now i feel like things are a little bit more relaxed.

But this was filmed like four months ago, like when things were worse.

Right, but I just think like they had these people who were coming, like get tested and then they were able to come.

Or maybe like Ashley and Jarrod live in LA and like they just had to stay in their apartment for two weeks.

Maybe.

I don't know.

No, it's like Jojo to think about Dallas.

Yeah, no.

Jojo's a big question.

Like, I just, it just makes me like annoyed that we had to watch all that stuff in the beginning when it's like, you guys have clearly figured out a way to get like a photographer in for the afternoon.

Yeah, the photographer, I just feel like they really did him dirty.

Like, I'm sure the pictures came out much better, and they just like they kept freeze framing on, like, the, they weren't even smiling.

Like, it was just like that whole scene was edited very strangely.

It was so, so bad.

Like, it would have been nice to see some of the cute photos, but like, we couldn't see them.

No, I thought it was really cute, like, the whole thing, and I just couldn't believe he was married again.

Like, and I did like all the different styles of wedding.

They had like princess wedding, Vegas rock star wedding.

Oh, by the way, do you think that it's at all a coincidence that there are now two guys who have been married

who were on Claire's season.

What do you mean?

Like, they knew Tatia was coming and they loaded up with guys who have been married previously?

No, I don't.

I just think some of them happen to be older because Claire was.

Oh, that's true.

And so, if you're 35, like, the kids that you've been married before are stronger.

That's such a brilliant point, you're a genius.

So, that's our bachelorette recap.

Anything else we missed from the episode?

It was just, it wasn't, it wasn't anything to write home about.

No, but like, I do feel like there have been a few moments this season where I'm like, actually shocked, which rarely happens, or I'm like hysterically laughing, which rarely happens.

A hundred percent.

Yeah.

All right, so that's our bat to rack recap, and now we're gonna dive into Deer Toaster's advice segment.

They were quiet today, but they don't forget about them.

Like they're here and they're proud.

Yeah, but thanks for being quiet.

It's so annoying.

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All right dear toasters our advice segment if you ever want to write in the email is dear toasters at gmail.com.

We'll always keep it anonymous and you can write in about anything.

Okay, let's go.

Dear Jackie and Claudia, my boyfriend and I have been living together for about eight months now.

I've been supporting us financially as I have been back at work since May and he just returned a few weeks ago.

One girl I work with told me she has an OnlyFans account and made about $40,000 in the last month.

I've been super stressed about money and thought, I have a nice ass.

Why not make a few extra dollars?

I created an OnlyFans account behind his back because even talking about money stresses him out.

I only had the account active for four days and felt so guilty, so I deleted it.

A few days later, my boyfriend confronted me about the situation and we talked about why I started one.

He had a few questions but understood why I did it.

Since our conversation about the account, I've not stopped wondering about how he found out about the account.

It was only active for four days and I only had one fan.

OnlyFan, LOL, she says.

I always used a private browser when accessing the account and would delete the window after.

Sketchy, I know.

I've talked about it with a few friends and they think he either went through my phone or some sort, oh, some sort of spyware on my phone.

Should I bring it up to my boyfriend?

I feel guilty because I know I'm in the wrong for creating the account, but really want to know how he found out.

Also, what should I do if he did go through my phone or has spyware?

Sincerely, a toaster who only posted a few butt pics for a buck.

That's a good question.

Like, I guess.

I would be fixated too on how he found out, and you 100% have to ask.

I don't know, because if he has spyware, and like, I feel feel like we always see this in movies, like when you're suspicious of something, so you go to the person and like let them know of your suspicions, and then you bury, like, you lose your advantage of being suspicious.

So, I would try, like, maybe, like, now that we're like, there's spyware involved, like, we have to be spies about it.

Right.

And it's not like your average, like, just ask your boyfriend if he went through your phone.

Cause if you went through your phone, that's one thing.

But if you're suspicious of spyware, then we've got to be spies.

No, no, honestly.

We have to level up.

We have to call in the big guns, Junior Cortez.

You need to like do something on your phone that would make him ask you a question.

Do you know what I mean?

Huh?

Like, just like you were on OnlyFans, which made him ask, why are you on OnlyFans?

Yeah, like, start looking at, like, BBW, like, something, you know?

Yeah, like, something.

Something that'll alert him.

That would alert him.

That would make him ask you a question.

That's a...

very good plan.

Do you know what I mean?

So I don't know what it is for him.

Like if I...

Selling feet pics or something.

Yes, yes, exactly.

Because that'll, because that's in line with OnlyFans.

Like, oh, she's just trying to make my extra money.

Is having spyware on someone's phone, like in a casual way,

illegal?

No, is it a thing?

Yeah, I don't know.

You guys, your friends sound like they're gaslighting you and like making you really paranoid.

But

I think your initial curiosity about how he found out is very valid.

Yeah, I would.

I don't know if it's as far as like a full-blown, you know, mole in your phone.

But I do, if he's going through your stuff, you gotta know.

Yeah, I've never heard of like casual spyware.

That's like, if you're not in the CIA, like you have like spies in your phone.

No, like, I think that.

I also am like not, you know, up

on some stuff.

I haven't read my spy monthly.

So I'm not entirely sure, but

I agree.

Like I think you might be like

overthinking, like he might just be like looking through your phone when you're in the shower, you know, like there's no sophisticated technology.

Does he have your password?

Like is that a possibility?

Yeah, I would love a follow-up here, to be honest, but I think that you should definitely do some digging on how he found out.

And lay some traps, like just like casual traps.

Yeah, like pretend you're having an affair, like with this random number, you know?

Yeah, like get some texts going, like make it one of your friends, like change the remove her, no, delete her, um,

delete her context.

So people who are shady don't save cell phone numbers.

That's always how you know they're being shady.

Oh, interesting.

So yeah, do something like that and like have a fake affair and lay a trap and destroy a relationship.

Yeah, that's our advice.

Next.

No, like, but just do a little spy work if you think there's spies.

You know, don't go to him with your suspicions.

Like, it's, it's, you have to one-up the spy.

Yeah, because if there's spyware going on, like, this is nefarious.

You don't go to like the person who's being nefarious and say, are you a nefarious person?

Yeah, but I guess in like the name of honesty, like in a relationship, like, that's actually what you should do.

Right, but he broke the honor code first if he is a spy.

Yeah, but do you think there's any way that like one of your friends like was a snitch?

Yeah, look at that.

Because you didn't say that.

By the way, you could lay traps there too.

Say you're tell each fan a different secret.

Tell one you're going back on OnlyFans.

Tell another you were,

gonna be able to do that.

But but you're gonna sell fee pics.

Like Tyrion Lannister in Game of Thrones.

Tell everyone something different and whichever one gets back to him, snitch alert.

Yeah, like Tyrion Lannister or like Kardashians when they thought Jonathan Chabon was selling stories so they like made up fake stories to Jonathan.

Yeah.

We hope that was helpful.

I think that was.

Next up, hey Claude and Jax, thanks for being my source of news and entertainment over the year 2020.

Now let's get to the not-so-good stuff.

I've been dating slash engaged to an actual P-JOM.

Literally puts up with my sassy ass and I don't know why sometimes.

We've been together for over a year and have plans to get married next spring.

The past summer, my high school ex added me on Snapchat.

He would randomly message me and I would sometimes respond.

The past couple weeks, we have snapped each other every day, all day, and even late at night.

At one point, we had what the kids called a streak going.

I know, I know, stupid.

We are 30 and too old to care.

He is married with one child and another one on the way.

Our

convos are mostly light, but sometimes get flirty and sexual, but never in a sexting way or towards each other.

It's more like that's what she said stuff, you you know, like silly jokes.

I know I shouldn't be talking to him, but I'm so stressed with working full-time outside of the home in this COVID climate, wedding planning, house buying, throwing money out left and right.

So having this fun outside distraction has been nice.

Am I a horrible person?

How and when should I end this little affair?

Thanks for your solicited advice.

Okay, I'm going to do my absolute best, like not to be judgy, but like you have to stop.

Like I hate when people do this, like ruin perfectly good things.

Like, not only do you have something really good going on, he has something really good going on.

Like, what are you guys doing?

Like, I realize that you're stressed.

Play tennis.

Like, don't go making like Snapchat affairs.

Like, I am so not here for this.

You are making a mistake, and your man is a PJOM, and you have to fix it, and you have to stop.

And so does he.

You're making a mistake.

And you should stop right now, delete the Snapchat app before you make a real mistake.

Like, this is just...

I understand that right now.

Like, you can make the argument that, like, you guys are just technically friends.

Can boys and can X's be friends and snap?

Like, sure, sure.

But what's the point, really?

And then, so you're saying it's like a fun little distraction.

Find a different distraction.

No, there's just so many things.

Like, I've taken up knitting.

I watch a lot of TV.

Become a redhead.

There's so many.

Yeah, there's so many.

Become a Patreon member.

Like, there's so many things that you could do to distract yourself.

I just.

This is like, I feel like this is like a plot of a movie, you know?

Like, there's nothing, like, I just, I've seen this before somewhere, and I just know it doesn't end well.

And, like, I really encourage you just to, like, stop.

And you're saying that your man is a P jom.

Like, we have to protect P joms at all costs.

That's all, once you said that, like, that was a nail in the coffin for me where i was like and then he also has a baby like there's no there's no you know it's not like a love affair that it's like we're gonna be together you guys aren't otp no not at all oh my god your otp is waiting at home for you go back in bed yeah

yeah i'm i'm sorry to ruin the fun i know to be a fun ruiner but you wrote into us knowing that the fun needed to be ruined and sometimes you know where you need to hear the hard truth and that's what we're giving you today sorry i'm so sorry it's but like focus on the p jom

focus on the PJOM.

Next up.

Hi, Claudia and Jackie, and of course, Dr.

Fuchemin.

Hi, Dr.

Facheman.

She spelled Facheman wrong, but she said, I'm sorry, I'm a horrible speller.

I am writing in desperate need of help in regards to my brother's horrible girlfriend.

She's an absolute terror.

I'm talking rude to my family, rude to my parents, friends, and doesn't try to be kind to my mom and me.

Anyways, they've been dating for about eight months now, and my brother knows we hate her and is gonna date her in spite of us.

I really thought she was going to be gone by now, but the holidays are approaching and she is planning on spending all the holidays with my family.

Thanksgiving is fine because of COVID.

We're not supposed to travel, but she doesn't plan on going home for Christmas.

My family is extremely close and my mom and I are not comfortable with this.

We feel like we are walking on eggshells around him and her and we can't even tell him it's weird she doesn't want to see go see her own family.

It's not hard for her to go home.

It's only a couple hours drive so they think it's weird that like she won't go home and see her own family.

Anyways, what do I do?

I do not want my Christmas to be spent with her and it truly gives me anxiety thinking I might have to deal with her forever.

P.S.

My brother once sent a new to her in our family group chat and never told her.

Seems like the smoking gun, but I'm not going to be the sister, but how fucking hilarious and disturbing is that?

My mom said it's the last thing I ever wanted to see, but I now get why he likes her.

That's funny.

Oh my, this is a horrible situation because I feel like one of two ways.

Like, part of me is like, if your brother is really like a spite dater, the fact that you guys are all so up in arms about it, like, you're giving him more energy to like keep going and like making you angry.

So, part of me wants to be like, just pretend like you don't care, and like, maybe he'll get realize he doesn't even like her, and there's nothing there.

But then you run the risk of like him thinking that all is good and like marrying her, you know?

Yeah,

I'm gonna play devil's advocate here.

I think rude rude is a subjective term.

And you haven't given us really like real concrete reasons as to why you don't like her.

Now you say eight months, why is she coming to family Christmas?

You know, they're not like at that level, yet you complain that she's rude to your parents' friends.

Why and how is she around your parents' friends in the last eight months if like they're not that serious?

And also, it's a pandemic.

Wow, Nancy, you're over here.

Maybe like they are more serious than you think.

And again, I would like to understand

what she has done that is rude, you know?

Because maybe she's a bitch and like I'm totally off base and you know, you could

because this girl wrote us in, we're just taking you could give me a laundry list of things that she's done, but maybe we come at it from her side.

He has this family of strong-willed women and maybe she's a little shy.

And the shyness comes off as rudeness.

I know for me, sometimes that has happened.

My shyness does come off as rudeness because people expect me to be like big and bubbly.

And then when I'm kind of quiet, they're like, oh, she's just not talking to us.

Yes, by the way, a lot of people think that you're rude when you meet them.

Yeah, because I'm just like kind of quiet and reserved, and they think I'm just like being judgmental, but I'm just like being, I'm shy, like I'm feeling uncomfortable.

And I think people think like just because your hair is red, like that you would be like loud in the center of attention when it's you're actually the opposite.

No, a hundred percent.

So my advice to you is going to be a little different.

Okay.

Let's take Christmas out of the equation.

Sounds like she's coming.

I think you and her should have a night together.

Maybe get a little drunk, maybe get to know her a little bit and try and understand

why she is the way she is.

Maybe at the end of it, she's she's the bitch you thought she was but you you at least tried yeah i just think

especially if you know they're and also if your brother is really a spite dater and he sees you you're like trying to get to know her he might rethink his strategy but also sometimes at the end of the day i think some of the like the best friendships always start with two girls who hated each other 100 olivia and danny yeah like lifelong friends for life and hated each other so much yeah i think you guys like when she's at the i don't know what your plans are but when she's you you guys are together for the holidays, you guys like have a girl's night, get a little drunk, share your secrets.

Well, don't give her too much because if she's really mean, she'll use it against you.

But you know, just like

kick back.

No, like you could hate someone so much, but like you have a couple drinks and like you are their best friend.

It's actually crazy.

And like you guys might bond in a way that like you might understand her better.

You might not be best friends, but like you might have a different opinion of her.

You know what?

You really opened my eyes, Jackie.

I agree with you.

I'm just, it is the season, you know, spread love and joy.

Deck the halls with boughs of the kill.

Fa la la la la la la la.

That was Dear Toaster's Our Advice segment again.

If you ever want to write in, or if you have written in in the last few months and we read your advice on air and you have an update for us, please send an update to deartoasters at gmail.com.

Just put update in the subject line.

We really want to hear from you guys.

But thank you to everyone who wrote in today, and we hope that was helpful.

I actually think that might have been some of our best advice yet.

I totally agree, except for the spy stuff.

If only we were spy kids.

Don't forget to pre-order my book, girlwithnojob.com/slash book.

It is my autobiographical memoir, comedy.

It's honestly comedy at its finest.

Jackie's read it, and she's a really harsh critic.

And even if she hated it, I think she would tell me.

So if I would have hated it, I would have like given you, like, it was still in the writing phase.

I would have given you like

some more criticism.

So check it out.

She's descriptive.

Girlwithnojob.com/slash book.

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I posted a photo yesterday that is my new go-to content upper where it just like will always bring a smile to my face.

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I'm working on a version where Theo is Photoshopped in because they are just the cutest cousins that anyone has ever seen.

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