S3 Ep181: The One Where Claudia Has Something In Her Eye: Tuesday, November 3rd, 2020

Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the morning toast.

It is Tuesday, the first Tuesday in November.

It is election day.

It is a beautiful sun.

Literally for the first time in like 11 days.

It is sunny.

Look at me.

If you're watching me on YouTube, you're super fun.

You've got sun on your arm.

I'm literally getting tan as I sit here.

Isn't that amazing, you guys?

It's a beautiful day in New York City.

It is a beautiful day to vote.

Everyone, make sure you get out the vote today.

It's election day.

Very exciting.

It's also important to let freedom ring.

it is it is this is important let the whole world sing

i don't know how it goes after that

this is terrible mark tina mcbride is rolling

she is you know what honestly like marktina mcbride is one of my favorite country singers not even country just like all around genre she's such a talent i'm so glad you brought that up yeah no she really is but that was a disgrace to her name.

Martina McBride.

We have a great show for you guys today.

Of course, the Fast Five Stories.

Jackie and I also both watched, I can't even remember the name, The American Crime.

That's what I'm saying.

It's American Murder.

The Family Next Door.

The Family Next Door.

Not a good name for it.

Too long for it.

And also, like, they're...

Just not a good name.

It really just should have been called like Justice for Shanann and her girls.

Yeah, Justice for Shanann and the Girls.

We're going to do that in our TV recap.

Really glad that you recommended it to me, even though I had the biggest pit in my stomach the whole time because like you know how it ends but it's just like i don't know how we get there and it was just it's just a fucking terrible story and it really like ruined my day so thank you happy to ruin your day always we'll recap it and i'll share all of my thoughts at the end last night we recorded the redheads finally this episode is actually really funny because there was like a few times in the past few weeks we were supposed to record and for one reason or another we got derailed because you know i said last week we would be recording and then that didn't wind up happening so everyone was just sort of on one and just the camaraderie within the redheads in this episode is just so hysterical the book again you know we have a wide array of opinions so whether you love the book or hated the book we have your opinion somewhere in the book how did the book score on the redheads very tough chart i don't want to spoil it okay it was not our highest rated book by any means was it your lowest i don't think so but we actually so in our next episode for December, we're going to do a year-end roundup where we sort of like re-rate the books based on the other books we read because we always like rate each book like sort of in a hole and we don't compare it to like what about the one before so i feel like the ratings don't always represent like how good this book is compared to the last one we read or the next one well i have a feeling your january 2021 book will probably be the highest rated of 2021 yeah i that's what the rumor mill is sort of swirling on about yeah because that's because it's my book girls no job check it out so the new episode of the redhead shops on thursday so that was really fun to record get all the girls together the girls plus magnolia who met bruno last night i was really nervous for this meeting of the minds because magnolia's she's a fighter she's a diva she she will go hard she will rip your head off and bruno's a lover and they got together and it was beautiful it was magic i'm so happy to hear that bruno shared his bully sticks with her oh it was really really cute now we got to get theo in the mix we got to get theo in the mix but i'm literally scared to see theo and bruno because Magnolia, as far as I thought, was like the smallest dog of all time, but seeing her next to Bruno, she's she's massive.

No, puppies are so small, and it's like they grow right in front of you, so you don't realize.

Magnolia's massive.

I don't know if you've seen her recently.

She's a horse.

No, I haven't seen her, but I believe it.

She actually is extremely horse-like.

You know what?

I do agree.

I doth agree.

Like, her coat is extremely shiny and horsey.

She has a horse's thigh when she lays down.

It's like a horse in a barn with that muscular thigh.

She's very horsey.

It's like that sea biscuit, like chest.

Her name should really be Secretariat.

Yeah.

She's got that nice red coat.

That's also a content-upper, Secretariat.

Oh, yeah.

It's so chicken movie.

Allie.

No, A.J.

Michalka is in it.

Queen.

It's a guy-studded.

And the grandma from Hannah, Montana.

Yes.

That's, by the way, that actress.

An icon.

She's like, whenever they can't get Kathy Bates, they get this woman.

I don't know her name.

Justice is good.

She's so good.

Also, that reminded me.

She find out her name because Justice.

Yeah, to disrespect her like that.

Also, there needs to be an award show that gives out like icon awards for like the

most underrated characters.

I couldn't agree more.

Ever.

Alicia Mae Witt.

Alicia Witt.

Whatever.

Alicia May.

Also,

Victor Garber.

He deserves every award.

Yeah, but I think he actually has Oscars and he is like real, his name carries weight.

So I don't think he would qualify for our award show.

Okay, I got her name.

And it's like, it won't ring any sort of bell.

No, of course not.

And it's the cutest name, and it's so her.

What is it, like Susie Bell or something?

Cuter.

Margo Martindale.

Oh, Margo.

Margo.

Also, what I watched last night, which was truly a content-upper, was Jeopardy.

And it was the first round was romantic comedy themed.

So like the categories were rom-coms, failure to lunch, 27 dresses, love actually.

Failure to lunch.

Yeah, the category was about food, but it was like a rom-com theme.

Oh, love actually was an answer.

Did you feel prepared?

No.

Because you haven't watched it.

Do you still feel so proud of that choice?

No, even though I'm just like so young.

You're so young, so naive.

No, I know.

And it didn't, you know, maybe last night I grew up a little bit because I realized like maybe it's not so cool to be the girl who's never seen love actually.

No, I don't know if you can be the girl who's never seen love actually and also be the girl watching Jeopardy all night.

I think they conflict.

No, you know what?

I actually am gonna stand my ground here.

I feel like I operate in a very unique space in our culture where I'm like a six-year-old and a 60-year-old.

Like I'm very immature, but I'm also wise beyond my years.

Yeah, that's sort of like my style is what I'm told.

Yes.

Like I'm dressed like a toddler and like a grandmother.

And you know what?

Get you a girl who could do both.

I've got my toddler clips in today, so festive for election day.

Yeah, you're being, yeah, you're toddler.

The clips are like a little

childish, yeah.

I know, and I know I wore them yesterday, and I usually wouldn't do two days in a row, but I just thought it was a nice way to pick up on the colors in my sticker.

Wow, such a faux pas clips, the same two days in a row.

Ugh, I wouldn't know.

No, it's just like, I don't want to be like the girl who's always wearing clips.

The girl who obviously just went to Dwayne Reed to buy clips.

Is anyone when you I don't know if you've ever used clips like these, but every time you use it.

What do you call those?

Um, I mean, they're keepa clips.

Yeah, when what do we that's what i was gonna say but i don't know what they're actually called me neither but when we were in like um middle school and high school all the boys because we went to jewish school all the boys had to wear yarmulkas which are like those little skull caps skull caps and um they would when you were younger and like they would always fall off you would secure them in with those types of clips so they just in silver not in red no in black no silver oh i saw silver ones never call black um they would be referred to as kipa clips like if a boy needed one the teacher was like do you need a kipah clip and that's just what i call them now and i don't know what like the industry name for them actually is because I don't think it's a keypot clip.

I don't know either, but whenever I snap them in, I feel like that scene in Clueless when she's like sitting on the chair like snap.

It took me a while to identify how I was feeling.

It was sort of a feeling of deja vu, but I knew it wasn't like my own feeling.

It was a movie I had watched.

And then I saw Clueless recently and I was like, that's it.

When she's sitting on the couch watching TV with Josh and she's like putting all these clips on her hair.

Every time my clip snaps in, I'm just like harked back to that.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

I wouldn't have automatically associated it with that, but now I do.

I'm still stuck in the keypark clip time in my life.

Yeah, no, I graduated from there, and now I'm just in like the 90s clip vibe.

So I got about 16 right in Jeopardy, which is not my best.

My best is 21, and I thought maybe I would do it in the rom-com category, but I did not.

I'm sorry to hear that.

There's that.

Big disappointment.

Yeah, but you know what?

The great thing about Jeopardy?

There's always tomorrow.

That's beautiful.

Or today.

Claudia, that's beautiful.

Yeah, and I really encourage you all to start including Jeopardy in your daily lives.

It's really been just a gift.

And Alex Trebek, I always think his last name is Quebec, and because he is from Canada, Alex Trebek is really just like this guiding light and this force in our culture.

And I think it's like, he's that type of leader that we like, we just crave.

Like we're just looking up to someone so smart and bright who can pronounce all these words correctly.

Yeah, that's really all you can ask for from

your favorite influencers.

That's why we're not your favorite.

I also feel that way about Steve Harvey.

I feel like he's like someone I can look up to.

Yeah.

And that's what makes a great game show host.

I've actually heard that The Weakest Link, which is now back, hosted by Jane Lynch, is amazing.

And that's because Jane Lynch is a leader.

Yeah.

You know?

Mm-hmm.

And she's someone I could look up to.

You should watch John Mulaney's monologue from SNL on Monday.

Oh, really?

Because I think there's something in there that you're going to appreciate.

Is it a Jane Lynch appreciation joke?

It's exactly what it is.

We have no choice but to respect it.

Exactly what it is.

It's as if he has seen what you have said.

The hardest working woman in Hollywood.

No, he definitely pays her the respect that she deserves.

You know, there's not enough people who do that.

Like, and maybe it's because not enough.

Like, like, I had the real privilege of experiencing a Jane Lynch work gig live.

She, I went to

the Prime Day concert, and she was the host where Dua Lipa and Taylor Smith were performing.

And it was live-streamed on Prime, like, worldwide, so, like, hundreds of millions of people were watching it.

So it was like a really big deal for her to be hosting it.

She was running around the event space, going here, doing this, engaging with the audience.

Even when the cameras were down, she was just like so lovely to people.

And that's when I really got the respect for Jane Lynch.

And so, maybe not enough people have seen her in action action live.

I mean, narrowly a person I know disrespects Jane Lynch.

No, I don't think people disrespect her.

Or if they did,

out of my life.

I don't think people disrespect for her.

I just, I don't think people vocalize or like.

appreciate the respect that they have for her.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, no, just like

just like Margo Middlebaum.

Like,

you don't think about it, but it's there.

Right.

No, the people working hard behind the scenes.

Martindale.

What was it?

Margo Martindale.

Yeah, I think it was a matter of making it.

It's not only that her face is just like very welcoming.

Like she makes a lovely biscuit and like you can cry on her shoulder and she'll take you in, you know?

Those biscuits,

delicious.

I can smell them already.

Also, one of Jane Lynch is like, for me, one of my favorite roles that she has done, there are so many, obviously Sue Sylvester.

But have you seen the Not Another Cinderella story with...

Selena Gomez and Jane Lynch.

Yeah, but who is Jane Lynch in that movie?

Stepmother.

Iconic.

What?

Icon.

She's like the Jennifer Coolidge.

Yes.

And she kills it.

Wait, I haven't seen...

That's where Drew Parker's in it, too, right?

Yeah.

And they're like dancing in the mirror.

Yeah, it's so much dancing.

Drop my iPod.

Oh, my God.

Oh, yeah, she has to work on the dance floor.

Oh, my God.

I didn't realize Jane Lynch.

I haven't seen that one in so long.

I've seen not another Cinderella.

Wait, another Cinderella story with Hillary Duff.

Not another.

I said that because I just

not another teen movie.

Another Cinderella story is

Hillary Duff.

A A Cinderella story is Hillary Duff.

Another Cinderella story.

There's been like four of them.

I've proudly watched them all.

One with Selena Gomez, one with Lucy Hale, one with like Greg Sulkin and your favorite person, Laura Murano.

Oh, it was a version of a Cinderella story.

And she was a singer-songwriter, and he found her lyrics.

Oh, wow.

Wait.

Okay.

I didn't know that this was like such an industry, like a franchise.

No, it is.

And I didn't know that the movies were all connected.

And the Lucy Hale one is so good also.

Oh, well, I definitely think the first first two should be permanently added to our content uppers list.

Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.

And I'm going to say something so crazy, and no one's going to agree with me.

And

I just, I need to just put it out there.

Like, I think the Selena Gomez version is just as good as the Hillary Duff version.

No, it's, it's really, really good for a sequel, but it's never going to be better than.

I didn't say better.

I said, like, truly, like, if they're both on TV, I would struggle with which one to watch.

No, I don't think I would.

It's just, I guess Jennifer Coolidge and Jay Lynch.

They're tough to come back.

I don't know.

You're not very pretty and you're not very bright.

Thanks.

Thanks for letting me know that.

Also, last night, I thought of another content upper that I wanted to add to the list because I forgot that I watched it over the summer.

And it's such a good movie.

One, because it has our favorite twins in it.

And two, it has a real appreciation for camp.

And it's, it takes two, Mary Kate and Ashley.

So good.

So good.

I watched that last year over Thanksgiving, I think.

Treat.

Treat.

Like, such a 90s movie.

I love that there's such an emphasis on philanthropy.

Like it's such a good movie.

Such an emphasis on camp, too.

Yes.

And such an emphasis on like a big mansion near a campground with

its own horses.

On proper counselors.

Oh, and such an emphasis on what a good counselor, like what an impact a good counselor can make.

It is a PSA for the art of counseling.

For counselorship.

And I think that Margo needs to watch it because her counseling skills have been a little.

Have gotten down the tubes.

Yeah.

And we talk about that on this week's episode of The the redheads so those are a few content uppers that i just wanted to update the list and i'm glad we spoke about because um do we have greatest showman on the list of course i have to watch it because bruno's never seen it

and so now i'm and i've been wanting to watch it anyway i think it's been like a good year since i've seen it so i'm ready for like all the razzle dazzle to hit me again yeah there's nothing better than like being so inundated with a movie and then like taking a break from it just so you can kind of experience it all over again yeah ooh that sounds so exciting chills chills down my spine um but we have a great show for you guys today and i think that if there's nothing else i guess there's nothing else and if there is you know we'll mention it all so without further ado it is time for the fast five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast

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Toad toast.

Okay, first story.

Britney Spears says she's the happiest she's ever been in her life in a new Instagram video.

Britney Spears wants her fans to know that she's doing just fine.

In an Instagram video posted on Monday, the singer gives fans a life update referring to comments on her social media concerning her well-being and safety.

She said, hi, so I know that there have been a lot of comments and a lot of people saying a lot of different things about me, but I just want to let you guys know that I am fine.

I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life.

I'm sending all of you guys a lot of prayers, wishes, and a lot of love.

Now, call me naive, but like I kind of believed her.

And I know there's all these conspiracy theories.

And at the end of the day, like nobody really actually knows what's going on in her legal drama, in her personal life, her family life.

Nobody really knows what's going on.

And part of me actually like really believes this, especially after reading Jessica Simpson's book, where I feel like Jessica Simpson and Brittany Spears were in a similar machine where it's like they were just told what to do, what to wear, what to sing, do this for years and years and years.

And it really fucked with their mental health.

And then Brittany was in Vegas and she was doing shows every night.

And now I feel like for the first time in her life, like Brittany's relaxing.

Like, and I know it looked like her social media is like.

weird to some people that she's like dancing on the beach and doing yoga and dancing in her living room and painting but that's what people like in retirement do they relax and part of me like actually believes that like britney like might be okay Yeah, we did a Patreon episode about this conspiracy a while back during like Free Brittany.

And at the time I was getting sort of convinced that she needed to be freed.

But recently I've just been feeling like that is not the case.

And I'm glad that she put out this video and I hope that it is sincere and there's no one like behind her with cue cards telling her what to say.

Because I agree with you.

I feel like this is just the season of her life and I think that she's doing well and it seems like she has free reign to post on her social media.

So she could say whatever she wanted.

And I hope that this is all true.

And I'm going to believe believe that it is like i think that people got a little carried away for a second yeah and maybe that's just us being naive but like i just i choose to believe what she's saying in the video and yes i do know that she's acting a little bizarre but like maybe she's a little bizarre maybe she we nobody actually knows who britney is like the person behind the woman like her personality maybe she's just like a weird girl yeah like some people just get on social media and like do weird stuff and it's like oh that's not the girl i know but okay but that's who she is makes you happy go for it so like if her painting and dancing in low-rise shorts is who the real britney is and like dance girl dance shase away, shante, you stay.

Yeah, I agree.

I'm glad that she put this video out, even though I don't know if it will necessarily like quell all the rumors and satiate the free Britney sounds.

Because with every video she puts out, people are even more like, Yeah, like did you see?

She was wearing a yellow shirt and she said yellow in the comments.

Like, they're like, they're insatiable.

Yeah, so, but I feel like for people who are just looking out for the girl, you know, not paying it too much mind, this is nice to hear.

Yeah,

and I think, I think she's okay, you guys.

I do, I really do.

Good.

Well, a little dancing with the stars news.

We haven't spoken about it in a while, but there was big news because Jenny Mai.

Jeannie Mae.

Jeannie Mae had to leave the show.

So Jeannie Mai, sorry, sorry.

Jeannie Mai.

We were both wrong.

We both had.

Jeannie Mai was told, she had to leave the show.

She was told her throat would have closed up if she had waited one more day.

By the way, that's crazy because she was actually doing a really, really good job.

Yeah, she's staying positive as she recovers from emergency surgery.

On Sunday, she underwent an operation after being diagnosed with epigalotitis so it's is it a dance related injury

sounds like it's not because it's her throat yeah I don't think that it is it's crazy when a small cartilage lid that covers your windpipe swells blocking the flow of air to your lungs wow that's actually so scary yeah so the diagnosis forced her to withdraw from dancing with the stars that's crazy and really sucks because I think I don't think a lot of people thought she would make it super far, but she was like really, really killing it.

And I feel like she was having like the time of her life.

So that sucks.

Yeah, that does suck.

And

I mean, this is way more important.

Maybe they'll give her another chance another season.

Maybe.

I mean, I was actually keeping up with

social media on Dancing with the Stars last night because Carrie Ann Anaba was like going hard on Caitlin.

And I feel like...

I saw that she was crying.

Yeah, and last season, I

had a lot to say about the way Carrie-Ann was like.

really going after Hannah.

And it's like she like always chooses someone to be really hard on because she thinks like they're the winner and like they can do better.

and she like really singles them out and now I'm thinking maybe she just hates the bachelor franchise because it was Hannah Brown last year and like she's really been going hard on Caitlin.

What did she say to Caitlin?

I don't know.

I just that's what people on Twitter were saying like that's literally where I get my information but like always just like pointing out every mistake like why'd you do that?

It's like because it was a mistake like that's like it's just really like on it unnecessarily like specific critique and even

scores.

Yeah.

So I feel like maybe she just doesn't like the bachelor franchise.

People were accusing Tyra of not wanting a real housewife.

Maybe Carrie-Ann doesn't want the Bachelor.

Maybe that's the cover-up for this real story.

Maybe.

Maybe she just goes really hard on the people that she thinks are near a professional dancers.

And if they're gonna win, they might as well.

She's critiquing them harder than she would someone who's just like a star who's dancing.

Right.

I don't know.

Part of the reason why I had to stop watching Dancing with the Stars after only watching it for like two seasons is because the scoring makes no sense.

And it's just like so the judge, like the judging, the scoring, and the judges are the worst part of it.

And I just can't watch it them them like disgrace the talent, you know?

Yeah, I understand that.

I feel like the show, there's always so many people that start off.

How many people are left?

Like, I don't know.

I feel like they're actually getting, like, it's going by.

They are.

And I just think that

Nelly and Caitlin Bristow will be the top two.

Like, that's how I feel.

And by the way, I haven't even been watching, but like, from what I gathered on social media and the few episodes I've watched, like, that is my official declaration.

Interesting.

Yeah, I actually really think Caitlin could win.

What about Chris?

She's tearing it up.

Yeah, she is.

No, I just don't see it in my prediction.

Okay.

She just got off.

Oh, she got off last night.

She got off last night.

So I was right.

I didn't see her my name.

I guess that's why I saw this story that it was like her saying that it's been a very therapeutic process, which I actually think that it is.

I just remembered my dream and it was about Chris, which is so weird.

And then when I woke up, I was like sophiclemped and Ben like literally rolled over in the bed and he was like, I had a terrible dream.

And I'm like, was Chris's house in your dream too?

He said, no, I had a dream you cheated on me with 100 men and I was chasing you down the stairs.

I'm like, what kind of whore do you think I am?

I'm like,

yeah, no, he, and by the way, I thought he was being dramatic.

Like, he was like,

exactly like being dramatic, like 100.

And then when he got out of the shower, he was still so upset about the dream.

And he was like, and he was like, 100 men.

I'm like, so you're saying like one, zero, zero?

Like, you weren't just being dramatic.

Like, you think that how can he crowd count so well?

No, it was honestly so offensive.

And then he was like mad at me in the, like, in real life for what I did in the dream.

And I'm like, I'm fucking mad at you, bitch.

Like, 100 dudes?

Yeah, like, what do you think of me?

How big do you think my vagina is?

Like, chill the fuck out.

Wow.

I had a dream the other night about Gary from Rascal Flats.

Wow.

He was doing a solo concert, and he moved my seat.

I was in the noseweeds, and he moved me up to the front row, and then he brought me on stage.

Wow.

Wow, you know, people's dreams are like a real insight, like window into their subconscious, and your subconscious is just, like, truly delusional.

That's honestly like the craziest dream I've ever heard in my life.

Boy, I feel like it could happen.

I can manifest it.

You could.

I mean, Gary is, I I follow him on TikTok.

He is releasing solo Christian music.

Yeah, no, and like he was singing like just rascal flats bops and I like was singing along every word and I was so enthusiastic that he pulled me on stage.

Honestly, like that's something that could happen to me.

Yeah.

Well, can I say something actually?

Back to Christian music really quickly.

So there was a lot of people when we were talking about yesterday how like we can't have Christmas trees.

A lot of people

who celebrate Christmas are like, what?

That's crazy.

Like I have a Christmas tree because it's a holiday tree.

Like, it's a winter thing.

It's not like a Christ, Jesus, nativity thing.

And people were going back and forth about whether or not Jewish people can have

Christmas trees.

And there were varying opinions.

And obviously, everyone has their own interpretation of the holiday season.

But a lot of people did really call you out for being obsessed with Christian music and wearing merch that says Jesus is king and then not letting me have a Christmas tree.

Yeah, no, and I and it's a it's a conflict that I'm constantly in conflict with because I'm so like pumped about Christmas, the holiday season, Hallmark.

Like I really love it all, especially like the

festivity of it all.

And I feel like even everyone can agree, a lot of these holidays have become like a Hallmark holiday, you know.

More like American.

Yeah, instead of religious specifically.

And I try to, you know, keep that in mind.

And I really do love Christian music.

And I love the message.

And yeah, sometimes they throw out of Jesus and I'm like,

Jesus, take the wee.

Oh, yeah.

But, I mean, but I can still enjoy it.

And I just, I like, I think it's extremely uplifting.

I actually do feel and I kind of strange when I wear the Jesus is king sweatshirt I mean I would too because I was in the airport once I was wearing it and I was going through security and the person behind me was an Orthodox Jew and we're both Jewish and I'm here like Jesus is king

he like has to go through life like bearing the bur the visible burden of being Jewish and like but we're both equally Jewish and like

I really felt like a fraud and I haven't worn it since.

Wow.

Yeah.

No, by the way, I never thought of that.

That's a really, really good point.

Yeah.

So, but the thing about the tree is like, there's nothing, I mean, some people make it more of a Christian religious symbol than it is.

Other people, plenty of non-Christian people have trees.

I just think that is where we have personally always drawn the line.

Like, we always have loved the showmanship of Christmas and the holidays, but to get a tree for us just takes it to a place of like being unfaithful to where we come from.

And that's just a line that we've drawn.

I'm not saying it's like that for everyone, but

we've always said that.

So to just one, like that is

for one season to be like, you know what, I'm just gonna get a tree this year.

Like, it's just the way that we

don't know.

It's just, it's honestly, it's devastating.

It gets harder every year to not get a tree.

I agree, but I think that.

And I've been, I was looking up some inspo, like from like people who have like Hanukkah trees, and they get like light blue ones, and they have like Jewish ornaments, and it's like literally the cutest thing ever.

And it's just, it's really hard.

I'm sure it's very, very cute.

And I'm sure it would be really nice.

But, you know,

just think of like no I can't I mean you you could do what you want I think everyone can do what they want just for me and you y'all know how much I love the holidays and how much I would love a Christmas tree to like

for Bruno to lay under oh could you imagine honestly now that I think about it like with all the pines falling off that you would just be eating them it would actually probably be a nightmare you'd have to get one of the fake ones like one of the ones from shark tank yeah and to be honest I would

100% get a fake one like regardless like with the water it's just too hard with the real one yeah

well I'll just be be sitting here without a drink.

We did a Patreon episode about our Judaism a while back, and we had a really in-depth conversation about this, like the Christmas tree thing in particular.

So, if you want to hear like more of our thoughts in depth, not just like this

explanation, head over to patreon.com/slash the morning toast.

And by the way, our thoughts don't speak for anyone but ourselves.

So, like if you're Jewish and you want to do it, like do whatever you want.

And you know what?

If you want to do it, do whatever you want.

No, no, I can't because I feel like I would be ashamed.

I'm not my sister's keeper.

No, I think you are, actually.

No, no, no, I'm not.

not.

I relinquish my

totally fine.

Next up.

I'm fine.

I mean, like, you don't even, like, since when?

It's just like I, since literally spending nine months in my house and just like wanting a tree.

Why don't you get a plant?

So much work.

Get a palm tree.

With the watering?

Yeah.

Then like the dirt, Theo would jump in, get all dirty.

I just know it.

So that's a tree.

Johnny Depp loses his London libel case involving ex-Amber Heard.

So even though Amber Heard allegedly took a shit in the bed,

even though court docs reveal this was, I haven't been keeping up with this story except for that anecdote of the duty in the bed.

And the court came to the conclusion that it was most likely a pet, not a person who took a shit in Johnny Depp's bed.

And I don't know if I'm going to agree with the courts on that.

That's up to you.

But despite the fact that there was a shit in the bed, Johnny Depp has lost his sensational libel case against a British newspaper, with a judge concluding that the Hollywood superstar regularly beat ex-wife Amber Heard after an explosive trial that included allegations of everything from adultery to defecation in the pair's marital bed.

I'm glad it resonated with this article as much as it did with you.

It's an important part of the case.

London High Court Judge Andrew Nicol delivered his decision following three months of deliberation.

The claimant has not succeeded in his action of libel.

He said that the newspaper that the Sun had shown that its 2018 story under a headline calling Depp a wife beater was substantially true.

Wow, that's crazy that, like,

so if you're suing for libel, you have to prove that what they said isn't true.

And therefore, the court proved that he did abuse his wife, which is really horrible.

Really horrible.

That's crazy.

And why would you sue someone?

Like,

wouldn't you sue ⁇ when you sue for libel, like you sue when you really, really know you can win.

Like, very few celebrities ever sue because as a public figure,

your life is open to interpretation.

It's very difficult to sue for libel.

Rebel Wilson won a few years ago in Australia, and they ended up appealing, and I think she had to give back her money.

Katie Holmes won once, I think, against Star Magazine, and it was like the biggest deal ever.

It doesn't ever really happen.

And if you do take it all the way to court, it's because the law is on your side.

So I'm very surprised that Johnny Depp would take this all the way to the high court in London, even though he didn't really have a case.

Yeah.

And along the way, we reported some of the instances from these stories, and it was a very messy, troubling,

shit-filled,

literally.

So, I just feel like Amber Heard like

needs inner peace.

Yeah, you know what I mean?

I mean, I think everyone in the world needs inner peace.

Yeah, no, it's a very stressful time.

I think that we could all really benefit from just

from, like, not shitting in the bed, watching the sunset, gaining inner peace.

You know what?

Here is Claudia Ashre's guide to inner peace.

I'm like, I have fucking something in my eyes.

Are you crying?

That's how beautiful it is.

No, I got some shit in my eye.

I think Amber Heard took a dump.

But this is, I feel like this week, everyone's really going to need to find their inner peace.

And however it is that you do that, I just want to give some of my recommendations for inner peace.

If you live in the mountains or like near the beach,

your key to inner peace is right around the corner.

I feel like I'm really talking to people who like live in apartments.

I'm talking to Claudia and Jackie Ashre.

Yeah.

And here are some key standard piece.

I would really find a hobby.

I took up coloring and it's really been very peaceful.

I also have my knitting supply.

Sometimes it's nice to just like not be inundated with media and not like scroll your phone.

Like let people miss you.

Like let a text message go unanswered for 20 minutes.

It's really, really peaceful.

A glass of wine didn't hurt.

If you smoke pot, that helps.

Like anything to just like calm your senses.

A bathtub, some bath salts, watching Jeopardy, anything relaxing that really can just take your mind off of things temporarily, you know?

Mm-hmm.

That's nice.

A bathtub with some bath salts, maybe half a zan.

Don't eat the bath salts.

Yeah, and don't like take drugs and take a bath.

Oh, definitely don't do that.

Yeah.

yeah take that back yeah i take it back i rescind what i said do one or the other um and if you're prescribed of course and i think that's beautiful claudia maybe try a book light a candle yeah light a candle yeah take a nap with your puppy that's the cutest littlest thing that you've ever seen you know what actually really helps contribute to inner peace if you have the lighting in your house on a dimmer i i do my whole house is on dimmers and i just never use it they're either like on or off and i feel like dimmed lighting is a really underappreciated like home aesthetic yeah i don't have dimmers in my house but i never turn the lights on in my house like anytime someone comes over they're like do you have lights i'm like oh yeah i guess i do your lights are never on they're never on i just like i find them to be overbearing i feel like i'm under investigation instead we have like some led lights up and we have some lamps that are like touch on we have some candles and we just are always creating a mood i really never have my overlight overhead lights on i have them on like 24 7.

are you okay you're feeling emotional no literally literally, there is like something stuck in my eye, and I just want to say that.

That's why you were closing your eyes when you were talking about inner peace.

Yeah, I was trying to get the thing out.

I thought you were trying to like bring yourself to a place of inner peace.

No, I was just trying to get the thing out of my eye, and it's still here.

Oh, great.

Okay, but don't worry about me.

Carry on with the show, sister.

Carry on.

Carry on with the show.

Brava.

Brava.

Where's grandmother?

Chloe Kardashian denies she's pregnant and she reveals her couple's Halloween costume with Tristan and True.

They dressed up as Cleopatra and Mark Antony Antony.

And someone commented something about her being pregnant.

And she quickly retorted saying that,

well, mostly that she's not.

She said, someone said, Chloe's going to tell us in a couple months that she's pregnant on Twitter.

Chloe was quick to shoot down the speculation saying, well, my abs say otherwise, babe.

I mean, honestly, this confirms that they're back together.

And I don't know why.

This is like the most toxic relationship that I just like stamps.

I know every time I choose a story about them, I'm like girding my loins because i just know how you feel about them but i really did choose the story because you were the one who like were set like she's responding to you yeah no i didn't say she was pregnant i think that you did i said kylie's pregnant and you also felt like she was too i said she could be right but i didn't i didn't like put my steak in the ground there i put it in the ground with kylie you did um i just thought this was information you might want to know yeah no and something about them um

i don't know it's like not really bothering me right now i agree because you see like, also, Offset and Cardi B

took their divorce away.

Like, they're not doing it anymore.

And people were like so mad about it.

Like, I actually really stand that toxic relationship as well.

So, there are some toxic relationships in Hollywood that I have time for, and some that I don't.

And currently, I have time for Cardi B and I have time for Chloe.

It might change.

I don't know, but right now I'm okay with it.

Yeah.

Because, like, we're all in quarantine.

There's nothing to do.

Like, if you're not hooking up with your ex, like, what are you doing?

Yeah.

There's no one else.

How are you ever going to meet someone new?

You can't go to a bar.

Yeah.

So you just got to fuck Tristan.

And then their Halloween costumes were really cute.

Oh, and then at the end of the day, both of them have Cardi B and both clothes

chamber.

Have babies with their toxic exes.

So I just want, like, I want the families to be happy.

So sorry, I'm just like such a family-oriented person.

No, I mean, that's who you are.

Oh my god, my fucking eye.

What's in there?

Like, honestly, Amber Hurts Dude.

Like, I've never been more sharp.

It hurts.

I'm just going to talk like this for the rest of the show.

Yeah, Yeah, just like cover your eye with it.

Yeah, no, this is me embracing Johnny Depp.

Aye aye.

Oh my God, totally.

You were inspired by the story.

So yeah, I'm happy for Chloe.

I think the costume looked good.

It did lack a little bit of originality, like Gladiator.

Okay, cool.

Been there, done that.

But it's okay because I'm happy for her.

Know that she is.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

A little interesting statistics news.

Ooh, you know, I love me some statistics.

There is a new most viewed YouTube video ever that has beat Despacito by Louise Fonzi featuring Daddy Yankee.

And I'm going to give you three guesses as to what it is.

Okay.

It is the newest, most viewed YouTube video ever.

I got it.

Can I do a dance move?

Sure.

Okay, are we on the main camera?

We're on the main camera.

I think I know it.

Oh, wow.

Dynamite.

Yes.

No.

Oh, shit.

It should be.

Okay, try again.

Okay, they're always doing that dance.

They're always doing that.

That's where we're, and also.

It's like,

if you're watching on YouTube, you could say.

Okay, so it's not, is it something from this year?

Um,

no, no.

2016.

What does the fox say?

No, wow.

Okay.

No.

The most viewed YouTube videos.

I'm trying to think of like the international

sensations.

You're on the right track.

Okay, wait.

Is it K-pop?

Technically,

sort of.

But I don't think that helps you.

Okay, I don't know.

Just tell me.

It is the Morning Toast Halloween episode.

No, it is Baby Shark.

Oh, I never would have guessed that.

South Korean children.

Baby Shark is K-pop?

South Korean children's song Baby Shark Dance becomes the most viewed YouTube video ever with 7.04 billion views.

You know, they are really onto something in the music industry in South Korea.

Like, they're just lighting it up dynamite.

Like, dynamite.

Yeah.

Oh, that was something that I wanted to watch.

Black Pink light up the sky.

Their documentary on Netflix looks so good.

Yeah.

Love it.

Love it.

They have a song with Cardi B that's about to be released as a single that is so fucking good.

I think it's called Make You Wanna.

And their new album is so good.

Yeah, and as much as I've tried to avoid the Selena Gomez song, it's all over TikTok and like it's actually really good.

No, it is really good.

Yeah.

The whole black pink album is really good there's one other song on the album i've actually been meaning to discuss this because i've been loving like listening and writing to them the other song is you never know it's a bit of a slower one but it'll ballad it'll get you i mean i'm just so caught up with bts and like i'm in love with one of the members the one who's like tall and died his hair green for a little bit um i just think he's like so handsome and i love him and um

Yeah, I'm really excited for like their next single to drop me too.

Because Dynamite, for me personally, I'm just going to go ahead and say it is my song of the year.

I give the green light.

Popcrave had a tweet that was like, of all the number ones this year, like, which one is your number one of the number ones?

And for me, it's dynamite.

No, it really is like the song of the season.

And it really, I think the marker of a good song is like

really the way that it makes you feel.

And in these current times, like, I've been listening to so much music, mostly depressing music, and something about the song Dynamite, like, really puts me in good spirits.

And I think that that is, in this year in particular, like a really important element of a good song.

Yeah.

And when I see that Samsung commercial, I'm like,

I'm gonna buy a Samsung, like it's so influential, so excited when I hear that commercial.

No, I completely agree.

Like, every commercial should use that in the background, and then I won't mind watching commercials.

See, and I've only recently been turned on to BTS, and it's not because I wasn't listening to them.

Like, I think when they have that song with Halsey, like, I thought it was bad.

Like, yeah, I just feel like now they're making music more like for me.

And I also like, Savage Love,

Savage Love, that's Jason Derulo, and BTS.

It is?

Uh-huh.

Oh, my God.

Why are we singing it like that?

Oh, Jackie's back on TikTok now.

She knows the dances.

Ever since we downloaded the app, have you been spending a lot of time?

I've been trying not to.

And you know what's interesting?

Yeah.

Now that I have puppy, I'm on my phone a lot more, and I'm holding my phone kind of away from him, and my carpal tunnel is really bad.

And even it was happening also when I was trying to read on my Kindle, the way I had to hold it so he wouldn't grab it.

Like even redoing the position now, like my wrist hurts.

No, I feel that.

I really do.

I feel like Kanye, he said on Joe Rogan that he was texting too much and he had like

hand problems.

Yeah, me too.

I got tendinitis in my right thumb.

It's very painful.

Yeah, so like that's when you know.

Actually,

I have been on my phone more ever since I got puppy.

My screen time was up 9%, which we hate to see.

Why does the puppy correlate with more screen time?

I guess because I'm just sort of like sitting with him on my phone.

Like, I don't know.

It's just something to do while I'm just petting him.

Well, those were the fast stories, and I feel as though.

You needed to know them.

I really did feel as though it's extremely important that you knew that Baby Shark is now the number one video on YouTube.

I always think that that sort of thing is interesting.

Because it's not what's big in America.

YouTube is a global platform, and more often than not, the biggest videos are foreign.

Yeah, no, and it's like the kids, you know?

It's always the kids.

The kids are going ham for Baby Shark.

Big time.

Which we knew, but like now it's like the kids have superseded the adults, the teens.

Whoever wrote that song is just like living in a palace.

Baby shark.

All right, now let's go to TV recap because I really want to talk about the American murder.

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Yeah.

Okay, so the American murder.

First, I just want to talk about like the actual programming, an hour and a half.

Thank you so much.

I hate documentaries that are just like, especially ones that are like painful stories that are just dragged out.

I thought this was very concise, and I agree with you.

The footage was unbelievable.

The fact that they didn't have anyone like sitting down and talking to a camera is crazy.

It was all police body camera,

detective room, investigator room footage, and the ring doorbells.

And her Facebook and her stuff, which literally between photos and videos, we saw all the whole life.

Yeah.

There were a few really key moments for me.

I thought it was really, really interesting how the day that like Shanann went missing and that police guy showed up to the,

I forget their last name, home, Shanann's house they went to the neighbor's house Watts they went to the neighbor's house and that neighbor was like he is not acting right like he knew that second that's crazy yeah I also felt like the documentary really highlighted the emphasis of like being a good neighbor and being a good friend and a good like a part of your community because it's like they knew this too like some people just don't answer their phone for a few hours but so many people around her like knew immediately that something wasn't right and all the people in the neighborhood like were canvassing and i just feel like it was like police work and like neighborhood watch watch work, like, at its finest, and it was just like good citizens, like, doing the right thing.

Yeah, no, it was remarkable that her friend who had dropped her off, like, knew she had a disappointment at nine o'clock, and she didn't show up for that, and then she wasn't answering her phone.

And by noon, like, she really knew something was wrong.

And I feel like that might have not been, it might have taken longer had they been different people.

Yeah.

And obviously, the craziest part about this story is the fact that

Chris, the murderer husband, was involved in the police investigation, like making videos for the news, like being a true fucking sociopath.

And obviously, we learned that he is the one who murdered his kids and his wife.

And

at no point did he ever give me like serial killer vibes.

Like, it was crazy.

And if he had not gotten caught, like, he would have gone on to be like one of the biggest serial killers of all time.

Because, first of all, he really showed like very little remorse.

And he still lied about killing his kids and tried to blame it on their mom.

Right.

And what you eventually find out where there was that hour car ride where Shanann is dead in the car and the kids are riding out to the oil tank with him.

And it's like he had all of that time

to turn aside, to make a decision and decided to kill his daughters.

And when he said where they were buried, like my jaw absolutely hit the floor.

Like

the thought process behind giving your wife a proper burial and then throwing the body of your children in an oil tank, like, what?

Why don't you just bury bury them all?

I was so shocked by that.

That just rocked me.

I don't understand why he didn't bury the girls.

I mean, I don't understand a lot of things that he did, but to me, that just, like,

was beyond the pale.

It's just vile.

Horrific.

And, and I didn't even think about it, but when the, when Shanann's dad was talking at the end of the documentary, that he really believes in his heart that like he killed Shanann while she was sleeping because she didn't fight back and he had like no defense wounds on his body, like no scratches, no nothing.

And she was face down.

I didn't even think about that, but like 100%.

100%.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It was a really crazy.

It was a really well-done documentary.

Yeah.

A horrible story.

A disgusting man.

Like, I am just thrilled that he, like, literally is probably like.

having the worst life right now.

Like, I just, I love that for him.

Yeah.

Also, I was telling you, because I tried to do like a little bit more research, but pretty much the documentary had everything.

But I read, this is crazy.

I read in the Daily mail that he had gone on like tinder dates and and had had other affairs and one woman who he had gone out with um she recounted a lot of disturbing things about him but she also said that together they watched the movie shutter island and in that movie leonardo di caprio kills his wife because she drowned their kid and that this woman believes that that's where he got the idea to say he killed his wife because she killed their kids.

Right.

That was like the most abhorrent.

I mean, it was all fucking terrible, but like to not only do do what you did, but then to like have Shanann's name be like dragged through the mud and imply, well, not imply, accuse her of killing the kids.

Like to me, that was just added a whole other level of like depravity and inhumanity to this already fucked up situation.

Yeah.

And her family was just like, they were just like regular people.

Like the whole thing was just like so regular, you know what I mean?

Like so unassuming.

They lived in this nice house in a cul-de-sac, drived a pickup truck.

It was just like a very average life.

And it's just,

it was very disturbing.

So disturbing.

Like, and he, I guess his motive was because he wanted to like be with his new girlfriend and have a new life.

Like, just like the prosecutor said, like, get a divorce.

No, no, people do it all the time.

All the time.

50% of couples, they say, actually, just do it and they move on just fine.

Just fine.

And then the statistics at the end of the documentary were also really chilling.

Like three women a day are killed by their...

partner or ex-partner, which is an insane statistic.

More often than not is men, and it's more often than not premeditated.

crazy oh and the added layer of facebook groups the most toxic places right that's what i was trying to tell you like just when you thought like shanan is the is the victim here of course like no matter how you slice it and the fact that people in facebook groups were like finding a way to disparage her character was just based on her mothering tactics like disgusting cherry on top to to be honest like I really wanted the documentary to give me the names and addresses of people who said that.

Like,

it's such a disgusting thing to say.

Like, you deserve to be in prison for saying something.

Like, I I know we live in a free country, but like, it's so disgusting.

Like, I mean, yeah, that's the opposite of freedom of speech.

But, like, you should be, like, it's so vile.

And knowing that those types of comments were getting back to her family.

Yeah.

Fucking toxic Facebook groups.

Like, it's insane.

And she just, like, I don't know.

She was just like such a cutie, like, with her kids and her obsession with videotaping everything, like, and live streaming on Facebook.

When she was like, text me when you're coming down the escalator so I can film it.

Stop.

I'm actually going to cry.

Like,

it's too much.

Like, it's really too much.

honestly like i hate this man so much like i want to go visit him in prison and stab him like i just want to get involved because i'm so upset like oh my god and the girls the girls i can't oh and pregnant

they had a name for the baby nico yeah it's just

i can't a fucking honestly it was really triggering like if you don't handle things like this well, I honestly wouldn't recommend watching it.

It's just such a disturbing story.

And then seeing it all play out.

It's not dramatized.

It's not a movie.

These are the real fucking people.

Yeah.

When the body cam footage, when Chris ran up to the house, like for the first time, we're meeting Chris.

I'm like, that's the murderer.

Like, he's right fucking there.

Get him.

Yeah.

It's just crazy.

And honestly, I feel like the where was it, Colorado Police Department?

Like, it was very good police work.

At first, I was like, why are they rubbing his shoulder?

Like, this guy's a murderer.

Like, we're really

coddling him.

But it's obviously like a technique to make him feel like he can tell them anything and then just like tell them what exactly what he did.

But it was, it was good police work.

It was good.

Everyone did their part.

Yeah.

like his girlfriend nicole she didn't hold back she went no once she recognized that she was being lied to she

she told her story which was a major piece to the puzzle yeah so everyone just did the right thing but it's just a horrible story but a very well-done documentary i will say and i have many critiques about many documentaries but this one's pretty good yes um so that's what we watch i still have watched the holiday i'm definitely gonna watch that and what else did we talk about um cinderella story sagas maybe i'll watch that today too Ooh, I wonder where I can find one.

I just, I don't know, something about watching the Hillary Duff version, like, she's kind of annoying in that movie.

Sorry, I said it.

Sorry, I said it.

Really?

Yeah, just like, she's like, was there a heartbone?

I actually like her in general, but I just think that in that movie, she's so annoying.

Waiting for you is like waiting for rain in this drought.

Like, I can't.

No, but she gets empowered at the end, and I live for it.

No, she actually ruins the movie.

and that is why it's like bummed down to being as decent as the sequel but chad michael murray is just like so everything

and i love him yeah there was a time in my life when like i really really deadass thought that like i was gonna marry him we should do a week where we watch one like a cinderella story every single day i'm not really interested in seeing the newer ones i can't i think you need to see the one with laura murano Why?

I just think that you need to.

I saw it, and so I think that you do as well.

I mean, I live for a Greg Sulkin moment.

Yeah.

I'm just like, I'm, I haven't really kept up with the work of Laura Murano since

Allie and Ross.

No, and also, she was in that movie.

What's that show called?

Allie and AJ.

No, that's what I was thinking, too.

Austin, Austin, and Allie.

Thank you.

Same thing.

No, but also, she was in a movie recently that you were.

Yes, well, yes, it was Netflix.

You were not a fan.

It was

awful.

Just truly abhorrent.

A disgrace to the filmmaking

field.

Okay guys, maybe we won't do that then.

Well, that's our show, everyone.

Reminder, it is Tuesday.

Make sure to get out and vote.

Get your voices heard.

Take care of yourselves because election anxiety is real.

And we'll see you back here tomorrow.

Hope you have a great day.

Thank you so much for watching the Morning Toast Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

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We hope you have an amazing day, and we'll see you tomorrow for Humpty.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.