S3 Ep138: Wet Ass Toasty: August 12th, 2020

Good morning.

Fuck, sorry, do it again.

No, you don't just leave it.

Bye.

Just do it again.

One, two, three.

Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the Morning Toast Summer Break podcast episode.

Your first weekly episode of five, I believe, which you'll be getting till we're back September 14th in studio.

Hope everyone is having a fabulous week so far.

Whenever you are watching this, it's so exciting to be doing weekly episodes, even though it's only we've only missed two shows since our last episode, but still, I feel like so much has gone down.

There's so much to talk about, so much TV, news, pop culture, and I'm excited to get into it.

We are currently on our summer break, having a splendiferous time.

Having a ball, we went on a hike.

I mean, we've only been here for one day, and I already went on a hike.

I went swimming, I went to Walmart.

Like, I'm just so in my element here.

You guys, Walmart, though.

It's just not fair that there's not a Walmart in the city, and the ones near the city are like really, really small.

We went to a super center.

We went to a super center.

I think we did 10,000 steps like my legs when I got home they were jello between the hike and our trip to Walmart I will tell you how many steps okay only 6,000 that's how many you've done today yeah between the walk and the Walmart it feels like more I forgot to bring my phone on the hike so I didn't get to count those steps towards my daily goal.

I mean, if you know how I live my life normally, like I'm truly unwell, my body's broken.

I plan on relaxing like for the rest of the trip, maybe doing some more hikes, but I needed to get the Walmart out of the way because A, I wanted to go and and B, we like needed stuff for the trip.

Yeah.

And I'm currently laying in my fabulous new outfit from Walmart.

Walmart just has everything.

We were like in a rush.

I need to go back.

I know.

We were so frazzled and overwhelmed.

It was a culture shock.

And there were so many things that we needed from all the different departments.

And I would like to go back and go one department at a time and really focus on all of the offerings that Walmart has to offer.

I mean, in a lot of ways, a Walmart supercenter is essentially a Costco because all the sizes that we got for like snacks was abnormal.

Oh, yeah, for sure.

But I just, I don't know what like the technical difference is between Walmart and Costco.

I know Costco does like tastings and they have more.

The difference is that mostly everything at Costco is bulk size.

Oh, but that's how I feel about Walmart.

No, but this particular Walmart.

Yeah, I guess Costco has like those wild sizes.

Walmart is really similar to Target, but Target has super targets, remember?

Yes.

So I don't know if Super Targets carry bulk size.

We'll have to go to the near Super Target and check it out.

Yeah,

I think it sounds like it would be fabulous.

I just had the best time at Walmart too.

I wanted to live there.

There was still so much more stuff that we needed.

And they have so much stuff for the home, like cookware, furniture, and beauty.

Beauty.

And there was just so much that we didn't even touch on.

Like, I want to check out the furniture.

I want to feel the sheets.

Yeah, oh, totally.

You know?

We did some good shit there.

Like, they had legit, like...

Flatware for the kitchen.

Like, you could really furnish your whole kitchen.

Like, William Sonoma, who?

Who?

The super target we went to also had a hair hair salon and a nail salon.

I know.

They were closed, unfortunately.

The nail salon was open.

We'll have to go back.

100%.

Like, I'm telling you, this Walmart is going to be like my vacation is at the Walmart.

Yeah, it was really something special.

People who go to Walmart every day are going to be like, what?

But there's really no Walmarts near us.

Yeah.

And anytime we're somewhere where there is a Walmart, we are so appreciative and like recognizing that we have something special at our fingertips.

It's such a privilege to go.

We go with like the biggest smiles on our faces.

We're so happy to be there and we really soak it all in.

Yeah.

So I feel as though we definitely take advantage of the situation, but it is such a bummer that New York does not have one.

No, not even remotely close.

And the one, I think there might be one

like near the small Target in Harlem, but they're just so small.

It's not the same experience.

No, it is not the same experience.

So to really like, can you get a tire thing?

No, no, no.

You can't buy

mulch.

Do you see how many tires they had?

No.

Oh my God, there was a whole tire department.

I was just like really getting lost in the snacks because I was walking down some of the snack aisles and I saw snacks I hadn't seen since I was a child.

Like little, what are they called?

Little bites?

Little bites.

They had all the little Debbie's, they had all the Entamins.

It was really overwhelming.

I got a blueberry pie that was like made, I'm sure, you know, like it's not brand name.

It's, you know, a homemade brand.

Like a homemade Walmart.

They put it in like a brown box to make you think it's homemade.

It's definitely made in a factory.

Oh, for sure, but like a homey factory.

Yeah, no, no, it has like a

small business.

Yeah.

You know, not entomans.

And I really look forward to digging into that.

I, of course, got my loft sugar cookies, which are my absolute favorite.

I thought it was a Publix exclusive, but apparently the more I travel, I realize they pretty much sell it at every major grocery store.

As they should.

It's a staple.

It's a staple.

And for those who like, there's like a meme going around, like, people who eat these cookies are disgusting.

It's like...

The fact that people act, like they're like sociopaths who think that, like, really worries me about the future of this country.

I totally agree, but I did see some backlash on that meme.

And there should be.

And that reinstated my faith.

My faith.

Yeah, 100%.

So clearly, we've had a very busy vacation.

Hopefully next week, on next week's episode, we'll have more to catch up on.

But we've only been on vacation for like a day and a half.

And already there's just so much to talk about.

So much.

Most of it has to do with the Walmart, but also the Vistas.

The Vistas are splendiferous, really.

We have all of the campers with us.

We've got McKay, Theo, Magnolia, and it is just, it's a full house.

Truly.

And the campers are just running around and it's so beautiful to watch the children.

As a counselor myself, to see the campers just like kind of growing into their own and just becoming so independent,

almost brings a tear to my eye.

For sure.

And as a camper myself, like I feel so much jealousy because all the new campers are here.

They're so much cuter.

They are a little less mature, so they require more attention.

AC has really been acting up because

she just wants her counselor's love and attention.

But you know what?

There comes a time in every camper's life where she has to grow up.

There comes a time.

By the way, that is beautiful.

Jackie, that's beautiful.

Thank you.

So like AC is kind of going on this self-discovery journey while she's on vacation.

And I think that's what summer break is meant to do.

And that's what camp is meant to do.

Yeah, 100%.

My episode on Bachelor Happy Hour came out today.

And I actually listened to it.

I never really listened to podcasts that I'm on, but I actually had so much fun doing it.

And it was so funny.

I actually listened to it when I like woke up this morning and was doing my thing.

And it's a fabulous episode, and you should check it out.

You should check it out.

Yeah.

Cool.

Well, I think we should just get into the things that we need to get into.

We also got a McDonald's ice cream cone today, which was like a big staple of our day.

We did.

And I got a big McDonald's Guzzler iced coffee.

And I got a a big McDonald's soda and we're both drinking them right now.

So we are well caffeinated and ready to deliver the fast five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

And yes, you didn't necessarily say anything factually incorrect, but as a fact checker of this show, I do think I need to just interject, if I may.

And as a fact-checker of this show, we're doomed.

So true.

Have you seen that Instagram like now has like a fact-checking thing on there?

Yes.

It's kind of annoying, but like,

it's like, how fucking wrong do you have to be for that thing to pop up?

Oh, it popped up on our Instagram when I posted that Ghelane BBC thing because it was fake.

Right.

And I'm so glad that it popped up.

Like, that is actually important information to know that it's fake.

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Okay, first story of the week.

The biggest, most exciting news that I don't know if we can ever stop talking about.

That I ever heard in my entire existence.

Morgan Stewart and her fiancé, Jordan McGraw, are pregnant and are expecting a girl.

They revealed that they're pregnant yesterday on Instagram in a sweet Instagram video and also revealed the gender of their bebe.

I mean, this is the type of news where you're feeling so many ways because I'm genuinely surprised.

Like, I just didn't see this coming

and so happy.

So it's just like a mixture of emotions.

It really is.

And I feel as though a lot of celebrity pregnancy announcements, they announce the pregnancy, then they do another with the gender.

And I really loved that gender and pregnancy were both announced together.

Yes.

I too felt surprised because we, the public, learned about their relationship in March.

They started dating in January.

So it is been a...

short relationship, but they also just get engaged.

But when you know, you know.

100%.

And as fans of Morgan Stewart, like we know.

It's not fans.

Like, it's, we're fucking obsessed.

I know.

I was just like trying to like.

When we were all, we were all together in this house.

And when we heard it, like, people were literally literally screaming from the upstairs, Florida's pregnant.

Like so insane.

But I'm just so happy for her.

I feel like she's just in

this like moment in her life, in her career, where it's just like all coming together for her.

And I think that this is so beautiful.

And I also think it's so interesting how like this is like the maybe like the third pregnancy announcement that's kind of shocked me in the sense it's like young Hollywood, like Stasi, Vanessa Morgan.

Like it's just everyone's having babies.

Yeah, everyone's having babies.

I think now that we're month six of quarantine or something, you know, it gave everyone a lot of time to get pregnant, also have the time to wait to announce their pregnancy.

And so now everything's just coming up pregnant.

I'm so happy she's having a girl because, of course, it's a blessing no matter what.

But like Morgan's two right needs a daughter.

I know.

When you saw the video and you saw her face and then she posted on her Instagram after that she totally thought it was going to be a boy.

Yeah.

And you can just see like the shock and joy in her face.

Thank God.

Thank God.

It's it's so exciting.

Of course, we saw the pictures with Dr.

Phil who was in the room.

So that's another, you know, whole element I think we should dive into because he was there with his wife Robin Robin and Morgan's parents.

And you just, you'd love to see Dr.

Phil become Grandpa Phil.

Yeah, I think he's already a grandpa and I'm sure he's an amazing one at that.

And so it's just, it's so beautiful.

It really is nice to see someone, anyone, whether you're a fan of them or not, just like going through a very exciting time in their life and just like knowing it's all happening for this person.

Yeah, that's true.

Like you really can appreciate it and be happy.

And it helps that Morgan is like in person, like such a nice girl.

So funny, so nice to everyone.

Like she's, she, she does, and especially in rich kids, kids, she does give off this like energy.

It's like mean girl, but she's not like that at all.

She's so nice and so funny and so welcoming.

So all these good things like really couldn't be happening for a better person.

And I'm just so happy for her.

Yeah, truly so happy for her.

I just, I really was so shocked.

That's the thing.

It's like the element of surprise is what really took me when hearing about this story.

But that's like the hallmark of a great pregnancy in,

you know, it's sometimes someone's pregnant and there's a lot of rumors going around for a while and then they announce and that the the fun was taken out of it.

Yeah.

And so this, she just swept everyone off their feet.

Totally.

I mean, it's V rare that you can announce a pregnancy that like the toasters didn't see coming.

And I feel that way with Stasi too.

She totally

blindsided us.

Yeah.

And same with Morgan.

And I just, as a fan, I'm just so excited.

So, so excited.

We are so excited for the...

for the happy family.

And Morgan is like such eclectic style.

Like I just can't wait for the nursery, like all that stuff.

She's going to do it all really well.

And pregnancy looks $10 million Dr.

Phil purchased house.

I mean, it's a good life.

It's a good life.

Okay, next story.

Some good news after some scary news, but Simon Cowell is walking again after having back surgery.

This is such a crazy story.

Such a crazy story.

Simon Cowell is recovering after his scary accident.

Just days after breaking his back in a number of places, the 60-year-old America's Got Talent judge is walking again as part of his recuperation.

Amid his ongoing hospitalization, Simon is also beginning to work on his iPad, but is otherwise taking it easy and is not currently allowed any visitors due to the COVID-19 restrictions in the hospital.

So he had an accident a few days ago where he was.

On like an electric bike.

Yeah, he broke his back in a number of places, like was nearly paralyzed.

Those bikes are like popular in Europe, but as far as I know, they've actually been banned in the UK, which is where he was riding.

I guess so.

That makes sense.

Well, I mean, breaking your back is like, people break their legs.

Like, breaking your back, I didn't even know you could do that.

Yeah.

It's really serious and severe of an injury.

And I think that he's very fortunate

to be recovering right now.

When they reported it, it was like under, when I read it, it's like he's going to be in a wheelchair for the rest of his life.

But if he's walking, that's a very, very good sign.

It is a very good sign.

So that is some good news following some scary news.

And some more good news that's coming out of it, actually, is that Kelly Clarkson is going to be filling in for him on America's Got Talent, which is exciting because it's Kelly Clarkson and she can do everything.

But it's also so poetic.

Full circle.

Simon was a judge when she was the contestant, and now the contestant becomes the judge.

The student becomes the teacher.

The camver becomes the counselor.

That's just maybe

similarly poetic as when a Shark Tank pitcher, it's only happened once, the guy from Ring.

And he didn't even get the deal on Shark Tank.

No, but he did become a shark for like a guest shark, which is very cool.

Right, but this is...

This is unlike that because Kelly won American Idaho.

So it goes to show that like the cream always rises.

Yes.

You know?

It would be like if Justin Guarini were filling in, then it would be a similar to the Shark Tank example.

It would be.

And you know what?

That would be fabulous.

I think maybe one of my favorite facts of the world is the fact that Justin Guarini is the guy from the Dr.

Pepper commercials.

It's the sweet one.

Yeah.

I'm trying to think of other American Idol contestants who are so famous now, but didn't win and didn't even come in second place.

Catherine McPhee.

That's who I was thinking.

Jennifer Hudson.

That's also who I was thinking.

Doctry.

I fucking love Dog Tree.

I know you know you do.

With a passion.

Where's that new Dottree album?

Like, when is it dropping?

No, I don't know.

The fans are waiting.

The fans are not well.

They're waiting with bated breath.

We honestly, we really are.

I've got to catch up on my Daughtery.

You've got to check the fan like league rewards.

See what everyone's up to.

I'm going to leave a Daughtery Facebook group.

Totally.

Well, it's like the Daughtry toasters.

Something.

You know what's so funny is that Chris Daughtry, if you say, by the way, if you say the word Daughtry enough times, it starts to sound weird.

It's like how you say garage so many times and it doesn't sound like a word anymore.

Road.

Right.

But Daughtry is a band.

Yes.

But Chris Daughtry is like the lead singer, but it's just weird that you would name the band after the lead singer.

You mean like Zach Brown band, Dave Matthews band?

Yeah, I think it's weird.

Et cetera.

Yeah.

But then I also think it's weird when it's like your band name is Rascal Flats and no one in the band is named Rascal.

Right.

It's so misleading.

So I think you just don't like bands.

Not true.

I love bands.

Love bands.

Okay, so name a band that you think is appropriately titled.

Maroon 5 is a good name.

Okay.

Because it's like an abstract thing.

When you include names, it just makes it confusing.

Okay.

And just as for the other members of Zach Brown band who work so hard on that fiddle.

They do work hard on that fiddle, but they get that level of anonymity.

You know, when Zach is going to the grocery store getting mauled.

I don't think that that's happening, but it's possible.

He's getting mauled by Margot Andre

at the grocery store.

Totally.

No, I was thinking about Catherine McPhee, though, because what slipped out on Real Houses of New York.

Oh, Kristen McPhee.

When

McPhee, McPhee, yeah, when Luanne was wearing the bangs at that charity event and Ramona showed up and was like, oh my god, you look like the actress who married the older man.

She was like, you look like that beautiful actress who married the older gentleman.

Yes.

And they were like, McPhee, McPhee.

And Catherine McPhee put that on her Instagram.

She was like, it's me, Kristen McPhee.

It was so funny.

Like, how does Ramona Singer even know who Catherine McPhee is?

Only because she married an older gentleman.

I'm sure it was a loss for the Ramonas.

Oh, of course.

No, David Foster was like one of the men.

There are a few men that like those older women of New York Ramona like would die for because they're like rich and successful.

And that's like Ramona said, if you make $500,000 a year, that's not enough for you.

She said I don't watch Revolution's Live.

And I'm sure there was a huge loss for the community when David Foster got married.

Totally.

By the way, if you can hear the snoring, it is T-H-E-O.

He had such a long, beautiful day and now he's lapped up, just living his best life.

For all my dog moms, you'll appreciate this enormous milestone.

We went for a huge hike today.

Obviously, Theo came, but he was off leash, which we've never really done before, but we're totally like surrounded by nothing.

And he can't really get lost, but it's still kind of scary.

And he was amazing.

He listened to all the calls, like when he called him back, but he stayed with the group.

It was like a real, I was a very proud mom today.

Yeah, it was really exciting.

We were like a pack, and he was kind of like the hunting dog, like in the crown, where the dogs go out and they sniff, you know, looking for game.

Looking for some game.

He was out there looking for game.

He's always looking for game, by the way.

Always.

Okay, next story.

Cardi B is defending putting Kylie Jenner in her WAP music video.

So we we reported last week that Kylie was going to be in the music video for Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion's new song.

The music video debuted, and

some fans were less than thrilled that Kylie Jenner appears in the video where she walks down a hallway donning a sexy leopard print ensemble.

One disgruntled viewer tweeted out a screenshot of Normani twerking in the video and wrote, quote, Normani did all this and Kylie walked down the hall and opened a door.

If that's not a perfect visual indication of black women having to do the most and white women do the bare minimum to get somewhere, I don't know what is.

But quickly, Cardi B shot down the jab and defended Kylie's inclusion in the video.

She said, quote, Normani is one of the best female artists that dances like she dances her fucking ass off.

Why would she open a door?

Please tell me how that would make sense.

The best part of the song is the beat and hook.

It makes you want to shake your ass, she wrote in a since deleted tweet.

She also added that not everything is about race.

Quote, there's issues out here in the world that is about

race that I preach all the time about.

This is not about about fucking race.

She said, why did I put Kylie on my music video?

She treated my sister and daughter so lovely at her kids' birthday party.

She also added that Kylie's ex-Travis Scott is close friends with Cardi's husband Offset and that Kylie's mom, Chris Jenner, has, quote, been giving me advice on certain things that I ask for.

She also added that Chris's boyfriend, Corey Gamble, is also close with Offset.

Okay, but in her tweet about that, she referred to Chris's husband as Corey.

She doesn't know.

She's like, and Chris's husband is nice to my husband.

Oh, that's so cute.

Yeah, by the way, like, there's so many things going on here.

The first part is like, I do see how someone could, you know, think of this as a metaphor on race.

I do agree with Cardi.

And like, for Normani, who's so extremely talented, to walk down a hallway, like that would be disrespectful to her enormous talents.

Yeah.

So I actually think Cardi handled this like as well as she could because there was like a petition, 60,000 people signing Get Kylie out of the music video.

And I thought she looked great.

I thought, I mean, Normani looked sickening and her dancing was, as expected, unbelievable.

And Kylie looked beautiful, which is what she does.

Yeah.

She said, Normani danced.

That's her talent.

Kylie strutted like a model.

That's her talent.

Yeah.

I actually really appreciate Cardi defending Kylie because when everyone's back, like...

you know, has their pitchforks and their starting petitions, it's so easy to like go with the flow and like not stand up for like another person because people could just be so vicious.

It's sometimes just easier to go with it.

And I feel like not doing that was probably the harder route to take and she probably got a lot of shit for it, but I actually really appreciate it.

And I hope Kylie does too.

Yeah, I'm sure that she does too.

I'm sure, I feel like every time the Kardashians are involved in something, it's like, you remember that so many people hate them.

Yeah.

You know, but we just live in a world where like everybody loves them.

Yeah.

And we only surround ourselves with people.

who adore the Kardashians because I personally can't handle like that type of toxicity.

Yeah, we just watched the music video and I thought Kylie's inclusion was so exciting.

I thought everybody who was included was so exciting.

Normani looked so fucking amazing.

That outfit.

That outfit was so cute.

Rosalia was in it.

Ruby Rose was in it.

Suki Hana, Mulatto.

And Cardi B basically said that, like, she just loves these girls.

Like, anyone who was in the video, she was like, from models to influencers, these are the girls that I personally like.

I like their music, and I really feel like they're going to go mainstream.

So, once again, like, women supporting other women.

I don't see how people could have a problem with that.

No, I don't see how people could have a problem with that.

What they might have a problem with.

What a lot of people do have a problem with is the actual song.

Is the actual song.

I listened to it on Friday, or no, whenever I listened to New Music Friday, but it was probably after we did an episode Friday, or else I would have mentioned it.

And I was literally in shock.

Well, so I will only, I didn't listen to it.

I only watched a music video, which I've now learned has been heavily censored lyrics-wise, because of YouTube's platform restrictions.

And I definitely thought that it was like out there, but I didn't even realize I was listening to a censored version.

I'm like, wet and gushy.

Oh, that's like a cute word to use, I guess.

It turns out that it's actually the clean version for wet ass pussy.

Sorry.

Which is different.

Yeah.

A lot, I mean, there's just like a lot of conversation being had.

It's like, is this inappropriate?

Blah, blah, blah.

And while I don't think that this song necessarily speaks to me,

I just hate when people like tear down other things.

Like, you don't like the song.

Like, it's not hurting anyone.

Just like turn it off, you know?

Yeah, I agree with that.

And that's exactly what I did the first time I heard it.

I was, I was just like listening to my release radar and wet ass pussy came on.

And it just felt like just so inappropriate to me.

Um, but a lot of people find it empowering, and for this to be that for them, I think that's fabulous.

And I'm not gonna like tear down another song just because it's not what I would like listen to.

So I just, I feel like a lot of people are coming out like with their opinions on it.

And it's like, if you just don't like it, like, don't fucking listen to it.

That's like my, yeah, that's that's how I feel.

I mean, that's my philosophy for like the world.

I totally agree.

But listening to it, like, I felt like I was listening to Bone Appetite by Katie Perry, where I, where the lyrics, I'm just like, wait, what did you just say?

Yeah, by the way, it does give me major bon appetit.

Bone was a little bit more subtle in its metaphors.

I'm actually going to read some of the lyrics

because they are, you know,

a lot.

Descriptive.

Descriptive.

Perfect word.

So please share.

Yes, I would love to.

I'm going to say as, I'm just going to go.

Just say the words.

Yeah, you fucking.

Yeah, you fucking with some wet ass pussy.

Bring a bucket and a mop for this wet ass pussy.

Give me everything you got for this wet ass pussy.

Beat it up, catch a charge, extra large and extra hard.

Put this pussy in your face, swipe your nose like a credit card.

Hop on top, I want to ride.

I drew a kegel while it's inside.

Spit in my mouth, look in my eyes.

This pussy is wet.

Come take a dive.

Tie me up like I'm surprised.

Let's role play.

I'll wear a disguise.

I want you to park that Big Mac truck right in this little garage.

Make it cream, make me scream.

Out in public, make a scene.

I don't cook, I don't clean, but let me tell you how I got this ring.

So again, obviously very descriptive.

A lot of people think it's inappropriate.

A lot of people think it's inspiring and great, you know, sexual education for women.

It's great for women to be, you know, outspoken about their pleasure when it comes to sex.

And I see both sides as always.

And I'm just standing firmly in the middle.

It's like, if you don't like the song, like, don't listen to it.

Like, I don't think you need to go like on your podcast and be like, children are going to hear this.

Like, you're fine.

Like, I'm not, it's not my favorite song um but i don't necessarily like have a problem with it and i'm not gonna like bash two women who obviously are very popular and they know what they're doing yeah and they're starting conversations there's and you know what i love when art does that people forget music is art like it's supposed to spark

thought no i feel like every once in a while a song comes around that's like it's so either out there or the music video is and it and it Everyone is like so like clutching their pearls about it.

And then you look back on it a few years later and you're like, wait, that's the song that everyone was so up in arms about.

Like this is what we have now well that's how i feel about miley cyrus like getting crucified for being on the cover of vanity fair just like showing her back yeah she was like covered in a bed sheet and it was the biggest scandal of our generation like people like the national association of moms for tv were like uh they were marching to congress like it was so crazy and now you look back it's like a very modest picture yes so i actually feel like in a few years we're gonna look back on this song and be like oh and you know what i think that's called progress except i still look back on bone appetite and i'm like i can't listen to this but you know what this is gonna be mean, but it really does make a difference, like who's singing it.

And some, like Cardi B and Megan the Stallion are both very outspoken and they're very sexual and they wear and sing, you know, this is on brand for them.

I'm not really shocked by any of this.

Katie Perry, like, was singing about Teenage Dream and gumdrops and lollipops.

And then she's on a feast, Bonapetite, babe.

Like, that was just actually bad branding and overall confusing.

This is not confusing to me.

This seems to be very on-brand.

And like, Cardi's been very vocal about her time as a stripper.

Like, this is actually not surprising to me at all.

And it's very on-brand.

I do agree with that.

I think you make a good point.

I think a lot of the Katy Perry fans were like, wait, what?

Right.

And the Katy Perry fans who were like wearing their wigs and their cupcake dresses were just like, oh, this is different.

But the Megan Thee Stallion and the Cardi B fans were like, this is not that different.

But I also feel like only you and I were so shook by that song.

Going apetites?

No, no, people, there was outrage.

There was outrage?

Hundred people.

Okay, cool, cool.

And the music video, too, was exactly what.

But I think most of the outrage was because it was so unlike her.

And it was just her, like, she really fell into a place where she couldn't find her stride musically.

Yeah, she couldn't find her.

She was lost.

And she thought that this is what she needed to do.

And it just, it felt so wrong.

Yeah, I hear that.

Okay, well, next story is some exciting love news.

Okay.

The bachelor's, Vanessa Grimaldi, is engaged to Joshua Wolfe.

Interesting.

It looks like Vanessa Grimaldi's journey to find love has come to an end.

The bachelor alum is engaged to Joshua Wolf.

She announced the news on Instagram on Monday.

She said, August 9th, 2020 will forever be my favorite day of my life.

She wrote alongside a few proposal pics.

JBR Wolf, you are my everything, and I cannot wait to be forever and ever with you.

Hashtag engaged.

He popped the question at the Fairmont-Le Chateau Frontenac in Quebec.

That sounds like a place I would love to be right now.

Fabulous in French.

I mean, Vanessa Grimaldi is a weird one for me because she might be like the lead, like, she's not a lead, but she won.

She might be one of the bachelor castmates who like made it as far as she did, who I keep up with less.

Like, I know nothing about her.

I agree with you.

I didn't even realize she was in such a serious relationship.

I'm always excited when people fall in love and her love story is coming to an end.

So I'm here for it.

Or a beginning.

But

yeah, she kind of, for someone who won their season and you can really become a big ass star from winning your season, she's kind of irrelevant.

One of my favorite things to do is actually check her Instagram followers because she, when she won and like it was at the height of their

like life as an engaged couple, she was like at a million, she almost hit a million followers.

And I check every few months just like wonder.

She's at 7.08.

Jeez.

So I just find that it's one of my favorite activities.

But then I also unlike always applaud someone who, you know, steps out, steps out of the limelight when it's not best for their lifestyle, you know.

And it seems as though she is engaged to a normal guy.

Yeah, I actually, I think that's admirable as well.

So, I love someone who chooses love.

I couldn't agree more over all the fame.

And I'm really, but it's always, it's always nice when someone's able to choose love, and fame comes with that as well.

I mean, again, it's literally the best.

Lauren Lane, you know, totally, like, you know, there's truly nothing better, like, than having to give something up.

Nothing.

Morgan Stewart.

Morgan Stewart.

Yes.

So, very exciting.

Fifth and final story: a little royal news.

I love a little royal news.

Um, Princess Eugenie, actually.

Well, sorry, this headline.

Eugenie, I thought it is.

And this headline just threw me off because it's like clickbaity and I don't want to read it the way it was written.

Yeah.

You know, because it's like, somehow, it is Princess Eugenie.

Sometimes, like, the

magazine articles are their headlines are so worded, like, not in English.

Okay, I'll explain this because I was ready to be like, this is how Princess Eugenie reacted.

But read theirs.

How Princess Eugenie reacted to Megan Markle and Prince Harry sharing baby news at her wedding.

Just tells that she reacted poorly, obviously.

Oh, did they share their baby news at her wedding?

Yes.

So there is a new tell-all book that has been released called Finding Freedom: Harry and Megan and the Making of a Modern Royal Family.

And in the book, it says that Megan and Harry shared the news that they were expecting with family and friends at his cousin's royal wedding in October 2018.

And by the way, Eugenie's not the one who just got married.

That was Beatrice.

She got married like a year ago.

Beatrice had a COVID wedding a few weeks ago.

Right.

Eugenie got married October 2018.

Okay.

And then the pregnancy was officially announced three days later.

But I guess they used the wedding to tell all their family and friends that they didn't want to have to text and stuff, which is actually a pretty shrewd move.

Yeah, but I would be pissed too.

This is like when people get engaged at the end of someone else's wedding.

That's so weird.

I've been seeing videos like that on TikTok, and the bride is like helping.

I'm like, I would never be that nice.

Yeah, no, or like you go on a trip for someone's wedding, like a destination wedding, and that couple uses the opportunity to get engaged.

No, it's like get somewhere frequent flyer miles and do it on your own time.

100%.

I don't know anyone who's done that, but it came up once when I was watching

Wags, I think.

Oh, someone did that.

Someone either did that or was going to do that or I thought they were going to do it.

And I was like, uh-uh, please don't.

To me, it's the weirdest thing ever.

Yeah, it's pretty weird.

Because if you're like...

So compelled to do it in a destination, like you go to a lot of destinations then.

So go to a different one.

So what was, you know, like you propose to

someone in a place that's like meaningful.

So you feel the need to propose while you're traveling.

It's It's so tough.

You must be a big traveler.

And therefore.

And you have memories at every port.

Therefore, you should travel elsewhere

to propose.

So what was Eugenie's reaction?

According to the book.

Quote, it did not go down particularly well with Eugenie, who a source said told friends she felt like the couple should have waited to share the news, according to the authors of this book.

Okay, now that I know how you feel about someone sharing news like this at their wedding, this book that's coming out, like, is getting a lot of credibility, you know, as being the source of how Megan and Harry found freedom.

And like, do you take any, now that you've watched The Crown, like, where do you stand on books like this?

I don't know because you know what?

At the end of the day, and I just finished The Crown and I want to talk about that in TV recap.

Um, at the end of the day, what I've taken away from the crown is that

so much of like the media stuff, it's not ever that it's untrue.

It's just like they get they get a heads up from like the Daily Mail that they're writing an article.

And it's not ever that like the queen is worried that the story is untrue.

It's true.

They just have to worry about how to then strategize and position themselves.

So, it's like it almost makes me want to believe everything.

Yeah, but then I feel like the crown doesn't show you like all the rumors that were in the sun and daily mail that are untrue that they have to deal with.

But then, you know what else it makes me think?

It's that, like, they are surrounded by so many people at all times, between like lady-in-waiting, butlers when they're driving, servants, pilots, like, there's so many people around them, and they're like having it in intimate conversations.

And I'm like, all this stuff is going to get out.

Yeah.

They're not even discreet about it.

And even when they're in their own private quarters, there's a butler, a lady in waiting, like, me, I don't know if that's how it is in real life, but it seems like they talk very freely about like private things in front of a lot of people.

Well, I'm sure one, there are NBAs, and two, if someone's choosing to

dedicate their life to be in service to the royal family, like I don't think that that person, unless they become disgruntled at some point, is going to be the snitch.

You know, like someone who is a private secretary, like has a lot of deference towards the royal family.

Private secretary, I'm not, I'm not talking about like Martin.

Like, the private secretaries, totally, like, their number one priority is like the crown, protecting the crown.

But it's like some of these like chefs or some of the butlers, like, do they really care?

They're just like going to their job and going home so they can make ends meet.

Yeah.

No, I feel that.

And the drivers, like, there's so many people.

At the end of the day, it's like Daily Mail's offering them $15,000 to like tell them what they heard in the car.

Like, I don't know.

Sure.

Easy money.

Okay, so here's the tea on the authors of the book.

It's authored by two people, Omid Scoby, who's a London-based writer, a royal editor for Harper's Bazaar, and an ABC news contributor.

Does she sound that close to the crown?

She also hosts

the ABC's popular royal podcast.

Are you kidding me?

This is about the author on Amazon.

The AirPod.

Oh my God, that's actually an amazing author.

Fabulous.

Air, H-E-I-R.

Wow.

Okay, I was about to slam this podcast.

By the way, those credentials, though, are really not...

in my opinion, credible enough to be like the number one source for Harry and Megan

book.

I agree.

It's like Harry and Megan didn't participate in it, and it's not commissioned by a royal biographer.

I tend to just ignore it, but this book is getting a lot of play.

And I'm also tempted to read it, but I wonder what, I'm sure the lens it's told through is like positive towards Megan and Harry because they're finding freedom, which is a positive connotation.

Yeah, I mean, and that's, I think that's like one of the great mysteries.

It's like, what will we ever know?

Like, so many people think like Megan was this like devious little woman who came to the crown and stole the prince.

And then some people like genuinely feel bad for her.

Like, it's a tough life.

And she like fell in love with this person and the life was too much and she got her freedom.

Like some people feel both ways.

So this book obviously tells one story.

I'm sure there's another book that tells another.

I think that's one of the things we'll truly never know.

I don't know.

I think eventually history will be written and

I think the royal family writes the history.

Yeah.

You know, so it might all come out.

But I still feel like things are ambiguous about Diana.

And that's been almost 30 years.

Totally.

And that's why there's so many documentaries on it.

So maybe we don't find out.

Yeah.

You know?

Yeah.

Anyways, the other author is a producer and writer who spent nearly two decades working in London, covering Buckingham Palace, Kensington Palace, Clarence House, and other major international events.

Again, that's really not that

you're not close to that.

That's Melanie Bromley.

During that, yeah, that's Melanie Bromley.

During that time, she produced multiple interviews with members of the royal family, including Prince Harry, still Melanie Bromley.

Yep.

And she contributes to O, The Oprah Magazine, L Magazine, and other American and British news outlets.

You know what?

Like, I'm really actually glad that we read this because this sounds like a crock of shit.

Yeah.

I couldn't agree more.

But it's getting.

I've been reading about it everywhere.

Right.

And then the other author, the first author, has become an authoritative voice on the lives and philanthropic endeavors of the royal family's younger members and maintains strong access

access to the Sussex's working world.

Vague.

That's vague.

But see, that's more impressive to me than not impressive, but to me, that makes me think that they might know more than the average person reporters they have computers just like us like yeah these two things make me think that they're clearly well versed in the history of the royal family and and they're up on

the family on the drama but do they have exclusive access unprecedented access i don't know i don't know either but that remains to be seen remains to be seen are megan and harry involved in this book at all

Not that I am aware of.

Okay, we'll see.

I mean, I might read it, but

this is a good transition into our TV recap segment because we're going to do Real Housewives at Potomac and all that stuff.

But I want to talk quickly about some of the stuff I watched this weekend, which was I did eventually finish The Crown.

I have two more episodes.

I was like really devastated to be done with it because I know it's going to be a while with COVID and everything until we get another season.

And I'm really sad about that.

But I'm also so curious.

We left off at an interesting moment because it's like Charles and his marrying a girl.

Like, where are we going to go?

And we all know that it was very tumultuous between Camilla and then Princess Anna and they get divorced.

She dies, like, all that stuff.

And

that's a good place to have left off because I think that this season will be very interesting when it pertains to Charles because his love life was so interesting.

But my God, Charles is fucking annoying.

Like, and he's just, he thinks he's so great and special and like different from his family and like looks down on his family.

I'm an independent thinker.

Like, just be the king and shut the fuck up.

Like, he was annoying me so much.

And you're right.

Watching it really does make you think.

I don't even know if it's possible.

It does make you think that they're going to skip over him.

Like, nobody has faith in him.

Not even his mom.

Even from a young age, you know?

With the school, like, he was like never.

He was literally from when he was two.

He was never like doing well.

Yeah.

He was never.

Like, I think that he's a good person.

He has a good heart.

He cares about things.

He's interested in things.

But those things don't necessarily make for a strong monarch, at least not on their own.

There takes a lot.

It's a lot of that and also restraint.

You know, there's so much.

I mean, there's so much.

And it's like, no one expected Queen Elizabeth to be queen for so fucking long.

It's like, Charles is old.

Yeah.

And it really would be perfect to have like William go next because as far as I know, like as just a fan, like William really is like the guy for the job.

It seems as though his personality, from what we can gather from books like these, from finding these things.

These forces.

That he is.

A monarch through.

Right through.

And I think like back-to-back Elizabeth and William would just be stellar for the country.

Stellar.

So I really enjoyed it.

I also watched She's the Man on Friday Night.

You just really inspired me.

And I was just lit up from inside, like lit from within.

Not a wasted moment.

Not a wasted moment.

Not a wasted joke.

I couldn't believe how many things like we say in everyday life or like inflections in our voice that we 100% picked up from Amanda Bynes.

I mean, and we spoke about this a little bit.

It's a hard content upper.

Like if you are down or you need someone to watch, you're like feeling lonely.

It's the perfect movie to watch.

It's on HBO Max.

It's short.

It's to the point.

There's amazing music.

Move along.

Like at the end, when they're like, I fucking love that song.

Come on, baby, we ain't gonna live forever.

Like really an iconic early 2000s soundtrack.

Obviously, like part, like towards the end, when you're like on this like elated mood, you come down quickly, just like knowing Amanda Bynes and like how the Hollywood like just didn't take care of her.

And it's upsetting, but you can forget it for like that one hour and a half.

And Channing Tatum is so fabulous.

And Tobias Fumeke as the president, I mean, the principal, such a good movie, such a good recommendation, and really like made my weekend.

Wow, I love to hear that.

I watched another movie that is on our content upper shortlist that, again, just like oozed goodness.

What was it?

The other woman.

Oh, my God.

Watched it.

Sensational.

Surround, phone down.

And I've seen it so many times.

And when you've seen a movie so many times, you can look at different things in the movie.

And like, it holds up every single time.

So happy to hear that.

Every single time, you guys, if you need another content upper, the other woman.

And then I just wanted wanted to give an update for the second time I tried to finish the kissing booth, and I was unsuccessful.

It got like kind of better.

And then I watched their like dance, dance, revolution mega tournament to win $50,000.

It was so fucking stupid.

I couldn't.

And it's just, it totally lost the magic.

I can't even go into it because I'm so hard on it.

And it's just, it's not good.

And I just, I want to let everyone know I still haven't finished it.

Okay.

Thank you for the update.

What I watched is I finished season three of Dynasty.

I had paused it for a little because I was watching week to week and it was just too stupid, honestly.

Um, so I was like, I'll just binge it when it's all on Netflix, which I did, and I, it's the way to watch it because there were some stupid plot lines, but like there were so many moments of just like pure like Fallon Liam Blake crystal goodness, fabulous.

Yeah, and I was just like, this show is so funny and good.

And even though there are some really fucking dumbass storylines,

and you know what, a storyline is really fucking dumb when a show or a movie has to make up a country name.

Oh my god.

Unless Maldavia is a real place.

Let me check.

I don't think so.

But you know what?

The only successful franchise to ever make up a country is Genovia.

Of course.

Juggie, Moldova.

Moldova is a place.

It's Moldavia, where they were.

Moldavia, hold on, on Wikipedia, is a historical region.

The Moldavian country in an old Romanian Cyrillic alpha.

What?

I have no idea, but it's a place.

Okay, I'm pretty sure that they made up a country.

It was initially independent and later autonomous state.

It existed from the 14th century to 1859.

Doesn't exist anymore.

Okay, so they made up a country so that they it the storyline was absurd, but I mean, um, the favorite, my favorite people were there.

It is now Romania.

The western half of Moldavia is now Romania, and the eastern side belongs to the Republic of Moldova.

Okay, well, in the show, they were dealing with the king of Moldavia, making it a country.

Wait, that sounds so stupid.

No, it was so stupid.

They were trapped in a dungeon.

It was so fucking dumb.

Like, it was insane but this season actually turned out really nicely i this was season three in our third version of crystal and i really hope season four brings a different crystal but oh really crystal 3.0 was my least favorite crystal crystal on the crystal with a really long black hair she I don't know if Crystal 1.0 or 2.0 was my favorite crystal, but really Crystal 2.0 grew on me so much.

And when it's a new character, like you already dislike them.

So I grew to the point of loving her.

So I actually think I liked her more than Crystal 1.0.

I liked Crystal 1.0.

I know.

I loved them both.

Crystal 3.0, I really do not like it.

I haven't, I stopped watching the show.

And so I don't know who 3.0 is.

You wouldn't know her.

She just, she's the same person as, like, at least 2.0 was like 1.0 died.

2.0 was a new person.

Right.

3.0 is playing the same person that 2.0 played.

And she's confusing.

Not doing her justice whatsoever.

Sorry that that happened to you.

So I really hope we get a 4.0 next season.

Also,

Elaine Hendrix, who is the stepmom from Parent Trap, is now

Alexis Karenkin, and she nails it.

I love that.

They should have cast her to begin with.

She's fucking fabulous.

She's a fabulous actress.

And the show is actually really good.

So I know a lot of people watch Dynasty.

I'm sure you're all caught up.

But I would, even if it gets a little weird at certain storylines, like

the streaming service at the soccer game, if you ever watch it.

Claudia, that sounds horrible.

It's one of the dumbest storylines ever.

And my least favorite thing is like, okay, so in one episode, Fallon has launched a a media company, like her seventh venture.

Oh my God, okay.

And her media company is starting a streaming service, Fallon Unlimited streaming service, whatever.

And Blake is also starting a competing streaming service to buck with her.

So they both have like competing launches, like streaming warnings.

And like it's fireworks, but it literally goes up in flames.

And it was like such a big deal.

This the streaming service, the streaming service, how could Blake launch a streaming service when I'm launching a streaming service?

You can't say they spend disbelief.

After that episode, the word streaming service service is never uttered again.

Like, it wasn't, like, it's so unimportant.

Like, it was like, oh, that's so dumb.

It was so annoying.

So that was when I had to take a break, but now I'm caught up so good.

I am also watching the newest season of Queen of the South.

I think I have one or two more episodes left.

It's such a good show, and I'm just loving it.

So if you are looking for like a good drama, Queen of the South, it's on Netflix.

Also, we're going to recap Real Housewives of Potomac.

We did New York and Beverly Hills last week on the toast, but for our weekly episodes moving forward, you'll have all the Housewives recaps.

But this week's Toast Potomac, it was a great episode.

It was all really centered around Ashley's like coming out dinner.

She said she's dealing with some sort of postpartum.

She doesn't really leave the house.

But actually, I find her this season to be a lot more relatable in a lot of ways.

She's like not trying so hard to be like everything.

And she's really focused on her kid.

And I feel like it really humanizes her.

And I actually am starting to like her.

And honestly, whoever is friends with Monique, like I feel is like a, she's a good judge of character.

100%.

And even though this episode was was like nothing crazy, what made it so good is we had a moment that we've been waiting five seasons for four seasons, which is Giselle and Monique coming together and realizing, like, why are we always beefing so hard when we should just be having a good time?

I agree.

And, like, they're my favorites, and I'm happy about it, but something from Giselle's side seems so phony.

Like, she doesn't really care about Ashley.

Like, I just don't believe that.

And her, like, going so above and beyond for this party when it was like Monique's idea, Monique got the gift basket together.

I'm sure Monique made the reservation.

Like, Giselle just like really piggybacking, like, we planned this and we wanted to say, and we, wee, we.

Like, it was just a little phony for me because, and I think she's like seeing it from the audience of the viewer, like, Karen's friends with Ashley, Monique's friends with Ashley.

Like, you just got to get on board.

Yeah.

And, and, and she didn't want to be alienated with Candace for the girls who are not friends with Ashley.

Ashley.

Yeah, I hear that.

Even though it's so weird that Ashley is like the queen.

It's a cornerstone when she's hasn't shown up to anything yet.

Yeah.

She

like, obviously, all this stuff last season with her husband, like, it's still pretty weird.

And there's, it develops this season to think about.

Like, it's not over.

No.

I don't know.

Maybe they just felt bad that she really had a rough time last season.

Now she's a new mom, and maybe they're just like beating decent people.

Very possible.

Um, the dinner actually looked fabulous.

Like, I really wanted to be at that restaurant.

We got more Wendy.

I actually really like her.

She made a hilarious comment, um, like, under her breath.

She didn't say much at the dinner because she's, like, still new to the group.

But when they were all talking about like women have like the women having sex, she was like, Karen has sex.

It was just like a funny, like kind of outlandish thing.

And I think it was like a window into her personality and to what we might get.

I mean we have a we've got like a little um inside look at like her house and stuff but we don't know I really don't know anything about her

but uh she's a professor and it just was like making me realize like we've never really had like a professorial housewife we've never had like an academic no I don't like we've had doctors

lawyers but we've never had a professor and I'm actually really excited because it's it really is so interesting to think of like your professor as a real housewife.

No, and then it's like, do her students watch?

And yeah, like now we're so used to like, okay, my therapist might be a real housewife.

My lawyer could be a real housewife.

My doctor, but like your professor?

So exciting.

Yeah, you think academia is like this separate world, but now it's being converged.

It's very exciting.

I agree.

Yeah, and she's a professor at Johns Hopkins, which is no small feat.

No small feat.

She's very impressive.

I actually like her a lot.

So

we have to talk about the elephant in the room, which is just like Candice's like whole persona.

Everything about Candace, and it's hard because

we really should like her, you know, because she's so cute.

So cute.

And I did like her in the beginning, and I know it was an unpopular opinion of me to like her.

And I knew she was like annoying.

I liked her when she came on the scene because she's so cute and spunky, and she has so much personality, and she stands by what she says.

But now, after like two or three seasons of knowing her, and like one, her storylines between her mother and her husband, like it couldn't be less interesting.

And they never evolve.

It's like the same thing every first episode of every season.

It's like, again, money, mom.

And as much as I like that she stands by what she says, like she needs to learn how to pick her battles.

And how to apologize.

And she doesn't need to go so hard for everything.

The formula of a great housewife isn't someone who's right about everything.

Like, that's impossible.

It helps, but it helps, but like, you're going to make mistakes and you really alienate people when you like refuse to take accountability and just own it and say, sorry.

Like, no one's, we're going to move on.

But, like, you keep the conversation going and not in your favor when you just refuse to apologize.

She's like, so childish in that way where she can't see it from anyone else's perspective.

And like, it's just her way or the highway.

And not to mention that incredibly stupid scene we got of her taking a pregnancy test when right after that, Chris, her husband said, we don't even have sex.

And then at dinner, she said, we wear condoms.

Right.

So if you barely have sex and you wear condoms and she didn't mention like being late or anything, like why would you think that you're pregnant?

She's just like really like.

crafting like an image on it I don't feel like anything she shares is authentic.

No, not at all.

Like she literally woke up one morning and said, I guess I'll take a pregnancy test and like try and make Fetch happen in this scene because of it.

And honestly, I was way more interested in what Chris was cooking.

Totally.

And I would have love for her to walk down and be like, please explain this breakfast sandwich that you're making.

I think it was like an egg and spinach sandwich.

It looked really good and interesting, unlike this fake pregnancy news that she tried to like spawn.

Yeah, and they kept like teasing it in like the whole coming up this season.

Yeah, no, and it was just, it was a big ball of nothing.

And similar to that, a big ball of nothing was a conversation between Juan and Giselle that they also kept teasing.

He's like, does Robin know we're here?

Obviously, he was asking me.

So we think they're about to hook up.

No, it's so stupid.

And like, I actually thought that conversation was sweet because I do think Giselle and Robin's friendship is really sweet.

And like, Giselle was so genuinely happy for her friend.

So I thought it was sweet, but like, just like the clickbaity-y, like, right, it was bothering me

evolved passive with the pee on the stick.

And then with the lunch with Giselle and Juan, it bothered me.

Yeah.

And I think I'm at a place with Candace now where it's like, for a housewife, there's two things.

It's like, one, do I like the way that you interact with the ladies?

If I do or if I don't, do I also like your home personal life scenes?

And with Candace, I'm out on both right now.

And

it's, it's not good.

It's not good.

Especially when, like, there's so much fabulosity in the room.

Yes.

Oh, my God.

And it's like, I feel like we've gotten so much more personal stuff from

Candace and like Robin this season when I would honestly like more Monique and some of the Karen Huger because there's a lot of interesting things going on in her marriage.

And we got that very weird conversation in the kitchen where Ray was like very snippy yeah and it's like they will air the scene of Candace fake having a pregnancy with her husband but they won't air the scene where Ashley and Giselle are talking and Ashley tells Gigelle that Candace is trying to become friends with Sharice like that is the tea yeah no and I'm like they flash back to that like it was no big deal I'm like did I miss that that was like the the most important part of the episode it's like no we watched Candace interconnected

so stupid and we heard the flush sound like they were so intricate like it was it was bothering me.

The flush.

It was a good episode.

And honestly, like I just cannot wait for this big blow up because it looks just.

And I know I'm going to be on Monique's side.

There's not a thing she's ever said or done where I'm like, that is not my girl.

And a personal update in Monique's life is that a few days ago, T'Challa, her bird flew away, got lost by accident.

And everyone in the Potomac neighborhood was like really coming out and looking for him.

And as of last night, he flew home.

And she was like literally crying on her Instagram.

It was beautiful.

Wow.

I love that for her.

Monique, that's beautiful.

Also, Cherise is like in the mix.

She'll be on next episode, but these rumors about Monique and her trainer, that's like the big to-do.

When they were like speaking about the rumors and they were never telling us what they were, I'm not going to lie, I did assume it was like an affair, but her husband cheating on her.

I really never thought Monique.

Yeah, I mean, here's the thing.

When it's like, kind of like Brandy Glanville, like a former housewife, like trying to make a splash and maybe get back on the the show.

If Monique was stepping out with her trainer in public, like in 2020 or 2019, like someone has a photo of it.

Right.

If it's not that and maybe Monique and Charis were close and Monique confided in her, then that's also still not thought of for this show because Monique should be able to tell her friends things off camera, just like Brandi Glanville, Denise, et cetera.

So no matter how you slice it, I'm not interested.

Not yet.

Unless there's a picture.

Yeah, or unless it's true.

Right, no, unless there's some sort of proof.

Yeah, agreed.

But overall, honestly, Potomac is just good, I think, no matter what, because the girls on their own are just like funny and interesting.

And even if there's nothing going on, they're just funny.

Yeah, and there was nothing going on in this episode, and it was enjoyable.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

That scene with the like lactating coach.

When she put her mouth on the knitted paper.

The knitted nipple.

That was crazy.

Crazy.

But it worked.

Absolutely.

It did work.

It was working flawlessly.

But that was wild.

Insanity.

I actually figured you would really like that scene because you are fascinated by lactation.

I'm that.

Well, since Olivia is breastfeeding, I'm just like fascinated by the female body and its miraculous functions.

Right.

And so I thought that maybe you

would have appreciated that scene.

I did.

If it was for anyone, any viewer, it was for you.

Okay, we're going to dive into Dear Toasters because it is Wednesday, which is our favorite day here.

Oh my God, we didn't even say.

Well, because we're recording it on Tuesday night, but it's hump day.

It is hump day.

Yo, hump everyone you love.

Hump everyone you love.

Hump everyone.

Go Theo.

So we're going to do.

Go Theo.

It's your birthday.

Go teo so dear toasters is our advice segment you can email us deartoasters at gmail.com we always keep it anonymous and we can help out with anything you need and today's deer toasters is brought to you by stamps.com which reminds me jackie you and i have to send out that letter oh my god and we need to use stamps.com and also because you can schedule a pickup and we are like in the middle of nowhere and we probably can't get to like a USPS or anything so we must wow we have to do that today.

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Okay, dear toasters.

Hi, Claude, Jack, and Theo.

Love you all.

I have a friend who I've recently reconnected with.

We were friends in high school, went to different colleges, and then now we live in the same city.

Go, Boston.

Before the quarantine, myself and my friend, let's call her Cindy, and all of our friends were all going out a lot and meeting up and doing really fun post-grad stuff.

But every time we go out, Cindy seems to forget her wallet or ask us to Venmo her, and she just ignores our requests when we send them.

At her request, we go to pretty nice places and she always seems to get away with it for free.

My friends are now getting on my case that I have brought this person into the group who doesn't seem to understand that we need to split the bill equally.

I have no idea what to do.

Do I bring it up?

Do I stop inviting her out?

I feel like I'm at risk of losing my friends for being the one to bring her into the group.

Sorry for the rant, but I need help.

Thank you.

Yeah, this is a problem, your friend Cindy Delvey.

Yeah.

Cindy Delvey, cousin of Anna.

Literally, this is like one of my least favorite qualities in a person.

And I think the best way to handle it is just outright.

Like she's being so shameless.

Like, you'd be shameless back.

She'd be like, oh, I forgot my wallet.

Really?

Again?

Yeah.

So then I would be like, okay, everyone's, we're not going to give the credit cards to the waitress until Cindy accepts our Venmo.

Yeah, no.

Or you text her.

Like, I think that sometimes, I mean, for me, I'm always just like, okay, I'm never seeing you again.

Like, you're making things awkward with my other friendships.

There's clearly something so fishy with someone who forgets their wallet every single time and doesn't pay Venmo charges and demands that you go to the most expensive restaurant.

You can't be all three.

You cannot be all three.

So for me, I would obviously cut and run, but that is not the mature thing to do.

So I do think that you should tell her, like, the group is upset that you have not paid, like, your bill.

You've got to pay your tab.

And that moving forward, like, you need to be more on top of these things.

And I would say, I can't invite you to come to dinner with us until you pay back the money that you owe us.

And I'm sorry, but that's just, and I would even put it on the rest of the group because they are the ones.

And I would be like, I'm sorry, that's just what they said.

I mean, if you don't, if you like like her a lot, then you have to solve the problem.

But if you don't even like hanging out with her, like just get rid of her because this is a problem like nobody wants.

But it seems like you like her and you want to keep inviting her.

And like like this is something you just you cannot beat around the bush about it's not like you're hurting her feelings like she is straight up not paying like it's not it's not black and white i mean it is black and white it's not fucking gray and you have to be just as shameless as she is like i'm so like

i love i avoid like controversy and actually no i don't i avoid confrontation sorry um and i and i do everything i can to avoid it but this is a situation where you just got to be shameless because she's being shameless too just be upfront be upfront and i would just write a long text that's like very politely worded, be like, Hey, like some of the girls and I are going to go to dinner next week, and I would love to invite you, but unfortunately, you owe all of us like a good amount of money.

So, if you could please like send through the Venmo charges that we've sent to you, that way, like you can come next week.

Otherwise, it's just not fair if we're all paying and you're not.

That's insane.

If I forget my wallet, which honestly happens a lot, I feel so bad.

I send the Venmo before everyone else's credit cards are even run.

Like, because I really don't want people thinking I'm like trying to be shady.

I just like legit switch bags and I'm dumb and I forgot my wallet and if you're gonna be that person like who's like ditzy like you have to pay the Denmo yes of course I mean I don't know if she's being ditzy no she's shady this seems like an anadelbee situation just like trying to get nice meals in nice hotel rooms and not wanting to pay for it and you know what like there's no such thing as a free lunch you're gonna lose some friends yeah and you gotta you gotta be

up front here yeah you gotta put your foot down all right thanks for writing in

that is the thing taking advantage of like they're all post-grad they're probably like all you know on their their own paying their own bills.

Like money is tight at that stage in your life.

And like to have no respect for the other people who are like working new jobs and spending their money on like time with their friends and like just to like have no respect for that.

Like that actually really bothers me.

Yeah.

You work too hard to put up with this shit.

Yeah.

All right, next up, Claude and Jack.

How you durn?

Literally been with y'all since the breath.

Ain't going anywhere.

Buckle up.

My mom has this guy she grew up with in Spain called Sam, who has literally always been in love with her, but she left for America and has been married to my dad, who's a PJOM, for almost 30 years.

Oh, I could tell.

Anyway, her mom has recently lost a ton of weight and is snatched.

My sister was on her phone and saw that they were messaging each other, the mom and Sam.

Okay.

I changed person.

Sorry, I went from first person.

Sorry.

My sister was on my mom's phone and saw that they were messaging each other.

Lots of complimenting her weight loss and other basically harmless messages.

My dad does not like Sam because, hello, he isn't married 30 years later and is still in love with my mom.

I asked my mom if my dad knew about her and Sam talking, and she begged me not to tell my dad, so I didn't.

Well, about three months ago, my mom and I were driving and my mom said she had to tell me that Sam sent her a nude on messenger.

My mom swears she deleted the photo and told him that she's married and she can never do that again.

Well, my mom again begged me not to tell my dad and said she would stop talking to Sam.

I obliged.

Fast forward a week, my sister, being the snitch that she is, was snooping at my mom's iPhone again and found more messages.

I was livid.

I called my mom out, told her she has to stop and tell my dad about the picture.

I have even dragged my brother into it, telling him, and he is beyond mad at my mom.

She has yet to tell my dad.

I'm so hesitant to tell my dad because he struggles with depression and I don't want to set him off.

SOS, help.

What should I do?

Tell my dad?

How do I tell him?

Or let my mom figure her shit out.

Sincerely, a brother/slash toaster with some mama-drama.

I actually like totally disagree with this girl's.

Okay, I disagree too.

And I was about to say that.

And then for a second, I was like, imagine if the rules were reverse and this was the dad talking to like an old flame who sent him a nude and like the mom had depression issues and like he like I don't know why.

no by the way if it was reverse gender you're right because we have these constructs in our head

i would give the same advice just given the fact like your parents seem to have a good marriage and your mom doesn't actually seem to be into sam like she told you her daughter that he sent you a nude like she obviously thinks it's like crazy i don't think he's i do think he's harmless and i think like honestly making him you're making a kind of a big deal out of it and making your mom like tell sit your dad down and tell him i honestly i think it's like a little dramatic your mom's open about it she's not lying

so honest i think you're being dramatic i don't think it it needs to be really spoken about.

And, like, you running around and telling all your siblings, I actually don't agree with you.

I don't agree with that either.

And that is what I was going to say.

I think that they've been friends for 30 years.

Like, nothing has happened.

He lives in Spain.

I don't think anything's going to happen.

Your mom and your dad are happily married.

And if she wanted to go be with Sam, like, she would go and she would be with him.

And she wouldn't be telling her kids that he sent her a nude.

Also, tell your sister to stop going through her mom's phone.

It's so disrespectful.

It's so disrespectful.

Totally forgot about that point, too.

100%.

Yeah.

Like, your parents deserve privacy.

Everyone is entitled to to privacy it's such a pet peeve of mine like unless you really think someone is up to something like cheating or something illegal maybe that is cause for getting a warrant and going through their phone like getting um a moral warrant yep but i really think that people are entitled to their privacy yeah that you're if you go through anyone's phone you're gonna find some stuff that it's like i wish i didn't see that well guess what i'll tell you one way to not see it don't go through their phone 100 don't go through their phone 100 like you know like everyone you asked for this problem honestly like you kept searching like if you go on anyone's phone like i'm sure i could go on your phone and dig deep and then be like, ooh, Claudia does this.

Yeah, of course.

And vice versa.

And like, we're just people.

We're people.

Everyone deserves privacy, especially your parents, because it's super disrespectful.

And honestly, you don't, you seem to like be annoyed that this is your problem, yet you keep getting yourself in deeper.

Yeah.

And like telling people, bringing people in, telling everyone in the house except your dad.

And I think you're making it a bigger deal than it is.

Agreed 100%.

Like when it's just like two adults, long-lost friends who are sharing some.

It's harmless.

It's really, even the pick, like, it's weird but it's not a big deal i mean it's like it's not a big deal because he's not coming over and he lives in space

and also there's a travel like they're

quarantine ban like on

you're fine you're fine um all right third and final one dear claudia and jackie little backstory my roommate in college named betty started dating an amazing guy freshman year james oh

someone is using the names from taylor so you don't think that she wrote up the premise of the two songs and posed it as a problem for dear toasters we'll see that would actually be so funny.

Oh my God.

So, Betty and James started dating.

They were couple girls.

James is the nicest guy in the world.

He's athletic, smart, driven, rich, and good looking.

It seemed like he was the total package for my friend to be with.

I couldn't be happier for her.

Betty and I loved to go out and party just like all the other basic college girls, but that was never James's scene, which was fine.

During our frequent nights out, Betty ended up making a serious connection with another guy from our school named Tim.

Tim and Betty would spend all their time together while we were out drinking and then leave and go home to James and Inez.

No kidding.

Five years later, Betty was still seeing both guys.

Oh my gosh.

She was seeing Tim?

That's what she's saying.

Okay, but she just said that they like had a connection when they were out drinking and they would talk and then she would go home to her boyfriend.

Not a crime.

Not a crime, but now it's an affair.

She said five years later, Betty is still seeing James and Tim.

Okay.

They never knew about each other and she managed to keep up with her double life dating both Tim and James for all these years.

This girl is my hero.

Like that's so hard.

No, I can barely hang on to my husband.

Like I mean, like he's like, I'm always forgetting stuff.

Like, how does she do it?

Yeah.

I should add that her social media account is like neither neither of them exist.

Are boys really that stupid?

I've always been one of three people who knew the whole truth about Betty.

One time, one of the three tried to speak out, and just like that, she was exiled, blocked, and then freaked out.

What?

Sorry, wait.

Sorry.

I've always been one of three people who know the whole truth about Betty.

One of the three people tried to speak out, and just like that, she was exiled, blocked, and freaked out on.

Therefore, I just let Betty do her thing and keep myself out of the mess and her drama.

And I just have to say, I think that's a great road to take, but things obviously get more complicated.

Fast forward to today, and James proposes to Betty, who of course says yes.

Now, because of the new rock on her finger, she called Tim and told him everything.

She also asked Tim to wait for her because she plans to break off the engagement eventually.

But let's be honest, as I said, James is the whole package.

She would be a godforsaken fool to leave such a great guy.

I love how she phrased that.

Tim, the sad little naive puppy that he is, basically agreed to wait for her, and he is choosing to keep his mouth shut about her relationship with him until James

leaving James in the dark.

Oh my God.

I've been thinking about James non-stop and how I know he's about to make the worst decision of his life, marrying someone who has been cheating on him for five years.

All three of these people are my friends, so I always try to stay out of it, but I'm not sure I can let James go through with this.

How do I sit at his wedding and support this lie of a marriage?

Do I tell James the whole truth or sit back, wait, and hope all this either blows up or blows over?

Thank you in advance for what I'm sure is terrific advice.

I just have to say.

She's saying that Betty is eventually going to break off the engagement, but she's worried that she's going to be sitting at James and Betty's wedding.

Betty's not breaking off the engagement.

She's going to take this shit all the way because this is just her life and this is who she is.

And she's stringing Tim along because she still wants him around.

But if she was going to break off the engagement, why wouldn't she do it right now?

My question is: does the girl writing in know James at all?

If not through Betty?

It sounds like friend's boyfriend.

Five years of friendship.

That's a long time.

Stay out of it.

Yeah, I mean, if you want to get into it, this feels like a movie plot to me, or like the plot of three songs on the folklore album.

Yeah.

So, like, a part of me is tempted to be like, write a letter or set, like, plan a surprise party for Betty where you invite James and Tim and watch it all implode.

Um, but life is not a movie, unfortunately.

And if you, if you, if Betty is your girl and like she's your priority, then you stay out of it because you care about your friends being happy and you don't.

This girl's insane.

Like, but that is insane.

That is truly certifiably insane.

And, like, if this were a man that we were talking about and he was living a double life for five years, like, we would be like, this person is a sociopath.

And we would tell the girl to like look out for the other girls.

Right.

I totally would.

So, I mean, as much as I don't think you should get involved in other people's drama, like sometimes you have to do a good deed and save a person from a terrible life.

Yeah.

You know what?

This actually might be the perfect situation to write a letter.

Yeah.

Follow Ronnie and Sam.

Yeah.

Dear cheese.

But then you have to know that if it gets out, like, and Betty wants to know who wrote it, like, and you might have to say it was you.

Like, you'll lose your friendship.

Right, because there's only one of three people who know.

But, like, I don't know, letting someone go down that road.

You're honestly, you're doing it a disservice to Betty, too.

It's like, she's in a mess.

You could really help her out.

Even though my mantra on life is just like, stay out of it.

But you're right.

Like this guy, James, who's such a nice guy, is like literally wasting years and years, prime years of his life.

Yeah.

I think you got to do the mitzvah for James.

And you do?

I don't know.

It just feels too wrong.

But I'm just, I'm looking at this too much like a movie and not like real life, you know?

Because in real life, people suck.

So I know.

This does give me majeure movie vibes.

Yeah.

But you heard the rumors from Inez.

You can't believe a word she says.

But this time it was real.

But this time they were true.

Yeah, this is on you.

I mean, I guess you're writing to us for advice and we're like literally just going over the two possible routes.

I'm like, we're not giving you.

My thing is to stay out of it.

Like, you know what?

Life is hard enough.

People make their own beds.

They have to lay in it.

Like, you're busy.

You have life.

You have a life.

You have relationships.

You have a job.

Like, focus on yourself and let other people sleep in their shitty ass beds.

And my advice is do something about it because I feel bad for these people.

And maybe like leak it to a source close to James.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, and then like, it's like giving it to Rina and hoping she tells Denise.

Yeah.

Oh, that's a good idea.

Like,

maybe the secret just should be a little looser.

Yeah.

Like, don't tell him directly, but like, don't shield it from maybe his mother.

Oh, I just love that.

No, that's so crazy.

Like, from his friend or his sister.

Yeah, sister, sister.

Yeah, sister.

So that's Dear Toasters, and that's our show.

We hope you guys enjoyed this episode.

Yeah, we'll see you guys next week.

We'll have again, Dear Toasters, all of our TV recap, anything you want us to talk about, do let us know.

Be following us on Instagram and subscribe to the podcast anywhere you get your podcast so you don't miss our new weekly episodes.

Reminder, we are back September 15th, 14th, sorry, and we will see you then.

Bye.