S3 Ep107: The Short One: Tuesday, June 16th, 2020

Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the morning toast.

It is Tuesday.

Hey, Claude, H-Y-D.

Good

morning, Millennials.

H-Y-D.

Hi, Jax.

Hi, everyone.

I'm doing good.

It's only Tuesday.

I literally can't believe it, but I'm doing good.

Just chugging along, trying to make it, you know?

Yep, I definitely know.

I am so sleepy today.

That's why I'm still wearing a robe.

This is my morning toast robe, so I feel like it's acceptable to wear on the show.

And it's just the most comfortable thing in the entire world.

I had accidentally left it at our studio for most of quarantine, but I just went and got it back.

And I'm truly in heaven sitting here in it.

And I hope that everyone doesn't mind that I'm wearing a robe.

You have a sleepy tone to your voice.

I know.

I was so tired last night.

I fell asleep at like 1030, which is crazy for me.

And then I woke up like 11 hours later and I'm still just in a fog and I didn't take anything.

Like this was all natural.

So I have been feeling this morning as well, just like not great.

And I think it might have to do with the fact that we both got shots yesterday.

You think?

Like it's possible.

I don't know.

No.

That would be crazy.

We both got shots yesterday.

My arm is killing me.

When I was laying in my bed rolling over, I was like, oh, I woke up from the pain in my arm.

And I'm a side sleeper and my arm, my left arm is like totally out of commission so not being able to like flip quickly onto my left side was devastating for me last night truly yeah no it i woke up to a very painful arm well i was like bragging last night everyone's arms hurt and i was like mine doesn't hurt i'm like so healthy and like literally the second i said that my arm started to hurt welcome to the club um we have fabulous fast five stories we don't have tv recap because there was nothing on television last night very sadly and i literally just can't be bothered to turn my tv on anymore like I'm officially, I think, like done with television.

You know, quarantine takes many different

phases, you know, there are some, there are phases that I was on my Peloton every single day.

And then like the last two weeks, I did, I Pelotoned once.

So things happen, people change.

And I think you just got to go with the flow.

Yeah, my flow is currently like laying in bed in the same position for 12 hours watching TikTok.

My flow today is going to be a cleaning flow because my laundry's piling up.

And then I'll be like, oh my God, I had such a productive day.

I cleaned my whole apartment.

And then I'll be feel really good about laying in bed and watching Potomac all night.

Oh, actually, I'm going to be productive as well today.

I have my first therapy session via Zoom.

That's exciting.

Sorry, telehealth, whatever it's called.

That's exciting.

Yeah, I'm getting ready to like get in my feelings.

I don't have to put on like makeup, right?

Like it's a doctor.

Well, it just depends who you are, you know, like, because I feel like I would wear makeup because I just want to paint the whole picture of who I am, you know?

Yeah, no, it would be, it would be false of you to show up without makeup, but I feel like if I show up with makeup on, like, that's like, I'm not even like being raw and exposed to my therapist, which is like what I want to be.

Yeah, I think that, I think you, you could go without makeup and, and that's you just being comfortable.

But I would be being uncomfortable, not wearing makeup.

I understand.

No, no, that's, it's just interesting to think about, like, you know, the logistics of telehealth.

Yep, it's quite logistical.

Um, so we have a fabulous show for you guys today,

Fast Five, and that's pretty much it.

Um,

I we are going to talk about Caitlin Bristow, right?

I have so many thoughts.

Yes, we are.

That's our first story.

So, let's just jump right into it.

Into the Fast Five stories that you, yes, you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

Okay, True Jacks.

Excuse me.

Oh, I have something to say.

Go on.

And what I have to say, it's so simple, you know, yet so complicated.

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Okay, first story.

Very exciting news.

That's about five years overdue, but we'll get it.

We'll take it when we get it.

The Bachelorette's Caitlin Bristow is joining Dancing with the Stars for season 29.

She says, I'm so honored.

So last night, ABC is doing their greatest of all time, Bachelor, Bachelorette Seasons, where they condense a season into one night.

I had not been tempted to watch at all until last night because I loved Caitlin's season and I loved the two size.

I didn't watch though, unfortunately, but I was really tempted.

And I'm kind of wishing that I had because at the end, she was on like a Zoom situation with Chris Harrison, where he let her know, surprised her with the news that she is going to be on the next season of Dancing with the Stars.

And if you've been following her journey, this is like her biggest dream.

She thought it was never going to happen because Mike Fleis had pretty much blacklisted her from Dancing with the Stars.

And so she was just over the moon.

And it's very sweet.

Yeah.

If you're new to the Bachelor franchise, you might not know that she actually like had a position on the cast pretty much secured after her season.

And Mike Fleis took it away and said, quote, he doesn't want people getting famous from his show.

Yeah, like he doesn't want people to be like pursuing fame after the show, but it's fine when it's any other man who's been on the show, just not Caitlin Bristow, right?

She's a trained dancer, she's an amazing

bachelorette.

I think that she could win.

Like, this has always been the logical next step for her, and they just never let her have it.

And I don't know what changed over at Bachelor HQ, but I'm just so glad that justice is being served, like that there's a small iota of justice being served today.

Yeah, and um, snap, like

Snatcheler had a theory that um, Jason and Caitlin might get engaged like live on Zoom, like after their

goat thing aired.

And I thought it was actually a good call, but during the

airing, Caitlin was like live chatting and they were going live on Instagram, like during her commercial breaks.

And someone did a QA, like, have you and Jason looked at rings together?

And Caitlin said, yeah.

So then I'm like, all right, maybe they're not getting engaged tonight because like she wouldn't like tease it like that.

So I was curious, like, what, you know, if there's a surprise, like, what could it be?

And I never would have thought this.

It's, it's so fabulous.

Like, I I just, I love a full circle justice moment, you know.

Yes, me too.

And like, I would have assumed that maybe it was too late, you know, even if someone wanted her to be on it.

Like, it's just the time has passed, but there's no time like the present.

And that's the moral of the story.

Yeah, she's gonna do great.

She's such a good dancer.

Um, interestingly enough, I went over to Sean Booth's Instagram last night just to like see, you know, because it is pretty awkward.

Like, they relived their engagement last night and they are no longer together.

And I, from what I could tell like they're not like the friendliest of exes

so he was on his Instagram story saying like you know he's been getting a lot of interest in his love life you know today especially and he doesn't know why today it's like yeah you do it's because your season is airing but okay continue and he said he actually is seeing someone new and he's been keeping it private it's like low-key but he just wanted to let his followers know um so yeah there's an update for sean booth

i would love to know who he's dating i know he runs in like a, in a Nashville, like thirsty circle, which I would love to be a part of.

I'm not saying that like a bad thing.

It's thirsty, but it's pretty fabulous.

Yeah.

I feel like we might know who he's dating.

Like who he's dating might be like a semi-famous person.

Oh, I mean, that's what I, one can only hope.

Yeah.

That's why I'm saying like, I want to know who he's dating.

I feel like we might be able to like.

put some pieces in the puzzle together.

I am sure that someone listening to the show, like someone has to know, like, let us know, DM us.

I'm sure it's someone fabulous.

Chombooth, like, for a while, he was my favorite person in Bachelor Nation.

Like, if I could be on the bachelor, like, I would want him as my leading man.

Like, I was obsessed with him.

And I just kind of, we kind of fizzled, but like, he's still, like, super hot.

I just thought it was interesting.

Like, there's all this stuff is now happening for Caitlin.

And I just wanted to see what Chambooth was up to.

So I like went over to his Instagram and he's good.

His gym is up and running.

That's exciting.

I'm happy for him.

Well, speaking of bachelorettes, I don't know if you saw this, but Bachelorette star Hannah Brown rescued a man while rafting with her family.

Hannah Brown.

Hannah Brown

rescued a man in the OCO River during a whitewater rafting outing with her family in Tennessee.

Over the weekend, the former Bachelorette star allegedly pulled a man to safety into her family's raft after his raft flipped over, according to his girlfriend who detailed the ordeal on Twitter after she was paid handsomely by Hannah's public.

I mean, this is like the most conveniently timed story.

And I just want to say, I have been whitewater rafting in camp, and not only was it the worst day of my life, I too was rescued.

I literally fell out of my boat, and someone picked me up.

So I don't know where the name is.

So that was your, that was your Hannah Brown.

The girl tweeted that she was on the river with us.

Our raft flipped and her family and her and her family were on the trip with us.

And she ended up pulling my BF onto their raft after the current took him.

I didn't know who she was, but her mom said she just went dancing with the stars and that she was a bachelorette.

I mean,

no, this is the strangest story.

I'm sorry for being like so negative, but like, why do I believe this?

Yesterday after the show, I saw this story like on e-news's Instagram, and I was just like,

What?

No, this is just like PR 101, you know, become a hero.

Yeah, no, it's there, it's quite heroic.

Um, It makes me want to go whitewater rafting, but I really just want to do anything.

Oh my God, I can't tell you like how much that one trip at summer camp to go whitewater rafting like changed my life in such a negative way.

Like it was the worst day of my life.

I'll literally never forget it.

It was horrible.

There weren't like enough white water

waves to like keep us moving.

Like we had to paddle so much.

And then it became like so treacherous.

It's such like a dangerous activity for like a summer camp with kids.

I I just, I have such strong feelings about whitewater rafting.

Like I will literally never go.

I would rather deadass jump out of a plane.

Yeah.

I mean, there's varying levels of whitewater rafting.

There's like the crazy rapids and then there's what we did, which was pretty much a lazy river.

It's like recreational.

Yeah.

I mean, I'm not crazy about whitewater rafting, but like when you're in it, it's really just like a fun sensation.

And every once in a while, I do enjoy just doing activities that I wouldn't normally do.

And I guess whitewater rafting would be one of them.

By the way, same.

I'm all for trying new things.

And I would love to, you know, do something new and different as an activity.

But whitewater rafting, like I am so scarred from this day at camp.

Like it was just the longest day ever.

We got so sunburned.

We like literally like rode ourselves into like a bush of poison ivy.

Like it was just the worst fucking day.

Never again.

Never again.

Well, maybe if you go again, you'll run into Hannah Brown.

Oh, yeah.

So back to Hannah Brown.

I don't know why, like not to be like such a bitch, but like something about this story just like doesn't seem believable.

I know, but the girl posted it on her Twitter, so I don't really know.

She also said she was being dramatic when she said he was drowning.

He wasn't suffocating or anything, just being taken downstream, and she pulled him onto their raft.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay, ready for our next story?

A little exciting news?

Sure.

Kanye West files Yeezy trademark for makeup, skin, and hair care products.

Wait, what?

It looks like Kanye West is following in his famous family's footsteps and preparing to launch his own beauty brand in the future.

The 43-year-old fashion designer who dropped his first Yeezy collection in 2015 appears to be looking to expand his empire.

On June 2nd, he filed a Yeezy trademark with the United States Patent and Trademark Office, which listed a variety of beauty products.

In the filing, West's intellectual property holding company, Mascot Holdings Inc., registered the trademark to cover everything from cosmetics like lipstick, concealer, and mascara to skincare like lotion toner, face masks, and exfoliants.

It also includes a variety of fragrance products, bath and body products, and hair care, such as shampoo, conditioner, gel, and dye.

Well,

this always becomes a news story, like whenever a celebrity files a trademark.

And it's very possible that, like, he's just covering his ass legally, like, just to make sure his trademark is in every single category.

But the more that I think about it, like, Yeezy is like a

like a beauty company, like kind of makes a lot of sense.

I could see it.

I could also see, like, he just doesn't want a beauty company called Yeezy popping up, and then he has to deal with that.

So, you just file the trademark preemptively, but I also could see like a very Yeezy vibe in my bathroom.

Yeah, it could be one of the two, but if it is like him actually creating like a beauty and skincare and like makeup company, um, that's just so crazy because I know that the Kardashians like don't necessarily compete, but like three makeup companies in one family is like actually too much.

I guess, I guess, it might be considered to be too much, but like I'll find a way.

Yeah, but I feel like maybe

they want to become like the next Fenty, you know, like Rihanna.

No, I could see it.

It's just when I read the story, I was like, that's not the craziest idea I've ever heard, except for the fact that his wife has a beauty company and his sister-in-law and Sneetches has a beauty company.

Exactly.

It's not the craziest idea I've ever heard, but like, do you remember those storylines when Kylie was like, before she was really like Kylie cosmetic, she was just like the biggest influencer in the world.

and she would like entertain offers from Adidas and Puma like she couldn't take both and Yeezy was with Adidas and like Kanye would get mad if she didn't do the Adidas and then she signed the Puma one and like he got all mad this just like for someone who like got mad like this is a weird thing to do

I don't know I'm sure eventually it'll all make sense yes you know always make sense because they don't not make sense no and there are a lot of things but they're a united front like they don't release anything usually without like everyone knowing about it everyone being on board um this is just so interesting like

kanye in a lot of ways like in his business remind me of um

elon musk like i don't understand a lot of it because it's like he was just on gq saying he's like making like tractors remember

yeah he was in it and then and i know that yeezy like the company is mostly um

like the sneakers and that's like really what the money is but then they also have those fashion shows and i've actually never seen a human being being wear Yeezy clothing.

Have you?

Yes.

Okay.

Like not a Kardashian.

No, I mean, yeah, Kim wears it, but like jackets.

I mean, it's hard to get and it's expensive.

And that's why people don't wear it.

And it sells out so quickly.

And then it's at StockX and you're going to buy stocks and like you get a Yeezy jacket instead.

I just don't ever like have a memory of seeing Yeezy clothing for sale anywhere.

Do you?

I guess

not.

I don't.

I think the only places it would be for sale are on resale sites.

But like when they launched it, where did they sell it?

Like at yeez.com and it goes so fast.

If any of the toasters have an item of Yeezy

apparel.

I do own a pair of Yeezy sneakers.

I never wear them.

I don't take them out of the box because I don't want to ruin them.

And they were gifted to me

by Kanye West's team.

for, you know, my iconic performance of Closed on Sunday on the Morning Toast in 2019.

Claudia, that was beautiful.

Yeah.

It really was.

Okay, ready for our next story?

A little update on something I think we were all kind of curious about, but not really, because nobody really gives a shit about the Oscars, but let's live in a world where we pretend like we do because in 2021,

honestly, I can't imagine a world where I care.

I know, but like, I'm sure we had said, like, what are they going to do for the Oscars?

No movie yet.

Here's your answer.

2021 Oscars are postponed to April 25th, the latest date ever, and films eligible through through February 28th.

As widely expected and endlessly speculated, I don't know about that, endless, but other than

the other shoe has dropped, and Oscar is on the move.

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences said Monday morning that the 93rd Academy Awards, originally scheduled for February 28th, 2021, will now take place on April 25th, the latest date ever since Oscar started the TV era in 1953.

That's all.

When are they supposed supposed to be?

February and said they're April.

What a dramatic fucking article for like a one-month, two-month fucking delay.

Yeah, but that way they can make up for the delay that has been the past three months because things are going back into production now.

I don't know if you've been seeing,

but

things are back unless you're in New York.

Yeah, unless you're in New York.

But

now my concern is like, what movies are going to be eligible?

Like King of Staten Island is the only thing that's come out and trolls

no good movies have come out well trolls will wit will get nominated for an animated for sure but which movies have gone straight to demand

that were like critically acclaimed everything

it's the critic it's the critically acclaimed that oh

and i was talking to your husband last night because but they also all come out around christmas time anyway the critically acclaimed that's true that's true so we're not really missing anything right now what did my husband say i was talking to your husband um about king of staten island because he loved it.

And I was like, shook, because like him and I are usually on the same page, like we both have taste.

And I was talking to him about it.

And I actually was super curious.

I went on Rotten Tomatoes because Ron Tomatoes to me is like the most illegitimate website.

It's honestly like, it is the pinnacle of like corruption and bureaucracy because none of those fucking ratings make sense.

And

like the movies that I love, like one time, me and you looked up Georgia Rule, like one of the most iconic movies of all time.

Lindsay Lohan, Felicity Huffman, Jane Fonda, like an icon, garrett headlund like an iconic film if you've never seen georgia rule go watch it it had like a four percent it was just and that's how i knew like from that moment i just knew rotten tomatoes was a sham and a crooked website and this king of staten island movie now regardless of if you love pete davidson or not like you really you cannot deny that it was a bad movie like there was just movies require like plots and resolutions and it had neither of those and it had a 70 and i'm like georgia rule is like literally the most intricate fucking special movie of our time and it got less than this king of staten island that movie is, I mean, that website is just so corrupt.

Like, I can't explain it.

Okay.

I haven't seen Ramsay, so I can't speak to, I mean, whether or not it's corrupt.

I knew that Rotten Tomatoes was a crooked website when I watched this movie called The Lobster.

That was maybe one of the, no, I would say not maybe, definitely the worst movie I'd ever seen.

Like, my life was measurably worse for having seen that movie.

And I went and Rotten Tomatoes and it had a 98%,

literally 98, like one of the top scores ever.

I literally couldn't believe it.

And I'm like,

how?

How?

Okay, well, this might make you feel better because I actually saw Hidden Figures had a 93% on Rotten Tomatoes.

Not high enough.

Not high enough, first of all.

Second of all, like, if they even thought of getting, giving him, like,

of course, art is subjective.

Of course, you know, at the end of the day, art is subjective, but nothing about Hidden Figures was subjective.

Like everything about it was fabulous.

Like you literally, it is undeniably a fabulous movie.

So if they were just to give it like a bad score, they would immediately show how corrupt they are.

You know what I mean?

They're very strategic.

Yeah, sure.

Okay.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

Oh my God, that was so fast.

This is going to be a nice episode.

We're just breezing through.

What can we say?

Maybe I'll just sing like to

pick up some Rs.

Okay.

That's okay.

Go.

I'm ready for the fifth and final.

You can now pay thousands of dollars to talk to celebrities for 10 minutes.

Thanks, Cameo.

Some board and cooped-up celebrities have apparently hit peak quarantine and are now offering Zoom calls with fans for hundreds and even thousands of dollars.

Cameo, a startup that lets you pay celebrities for personal video messages, now lets users book a 10-minute Zoom call with well-known people.

The costliest are far more football star Brett Farr for $5,000, ex and sync singer Lance Bass for $1,250, and skateboarder Tony Hawk for $1,000.

So Cameo has shifted for quarantine.

You can now zoom with a celeb for

$100.

Can I just say, like, Cameo as a platform is like a great idea.

And I love that they're, you know, this is an uncertain time.

They're shifting their strategy.

And I think that's great because like everyone is zooming.

And I think that's great.

No shade to Cameo as a brand, but like

talking and like looking at Cameo, like the website, like never doesn't make me depressed.

Like, what the fuck is Tony Hawk doing for $1,000?

but then it's just like tony hawk just made a thousand dollars the only problem with cameo is like they don't really have stars

um well depends on who you're wanting to hear from you know and they really have so many reality stars and i feel like people love to get it from like and like podcasters and digital influencers and those are the people that like

of course but like it's a celebrity app and like it's just not really that celebrity.

I feel like if it's it's become really big recently.

Yeah, I mean, I'm just I'm on the website.

I just want to

show you like it's not to be so rude, but like I've never heard of most of these people.

Okay, Chris Harrison is so far.

Oh my god, you know who they have?

Who?

Oh my god, I'm totally going to get one.

Oh my God, I'm dead.

Oh, so this is, oh, this is actually interesting.

They have a category of people whose all their proceeds go to COVID-19 relief, which is fabulous.

And they have Susie Esman, Susie from Curb Your Enthusiasm.

Oh, my God.

I'm going to have to get one for Ben.

Oh, I got $325.

See?

Okay, it's worth it.

It's worth it.

Who else?

But then it's like you see a Bronwyn, Eileen Davidson.

Okay, who do you think?

Oh, let's play a game.

Who do you think is more expensive?

Bronwyn or Eileen Davidson?

I think Eileen Davidson right now because her time I think is more valuable.

You would be right.

Bronwyn Windenburg is is $45.

Like, kill me.

So sad.

And Eileen Davidson is $100.

Yeah, because Eileen Davidson, like,

she, she like works and stuff.

And Bronwyn is a celebrity.

Like, yeah.

Oh, my God.

There's some, I'm not going to say who, but like, there are some people on there here, like, who literally just make me cringe.

I can't.

All right, well, let's keep playing this game.

This is a good game.

Okay.

Give me a minute.

You could just like keep talking while I find people.

Okay, musicians.

I'm like, I've never heard of any of these people.

Yeah, it's not really like, it's more so reality and digital celebs not like movie stars

yeah i guess that's true it's just um

it's the per honesty it's like the perfect company they just like need more famous people on there

no it's a great idea people love it people who i used to make them all the time it was really fun people loved to get them everyone wins I mean, we got cameos from Damon John.

I got one from Damon John and you got one from Bethany.

Oh my God, Yes.

I like love Bethany.

I miss her so much.

I know.

Every day I'm like, just like, what would Bethany think about this?

Yeah, no, she's the type of person who's like, opinion, I really value, even though like I don't know her.

Yeah.

No, 100%.

But we do know her because like we've lived with her for so long.

Yeah, no, I literally know everything about her.

Yeah.

Okay.

Well, I think that's.

There are no housewives on this week.

So there's not going to be

episode of all time.

There's no housewives on this week.

So there's not going to be a TV recap.

So it's going to be like short episodes this week because there's no New York and there's no Beverly Hills.

Yeah.

But Pump Rules is on tonight, the third chapter of the reunion.

We have just like so surpassed this reunion.

Like culturally, even just within the show, like so much has happened.

Like it's so silly to watch this.

Like it's just, it feels every time for the last two weeks watching the reunion, like I feel silly.

Like I feel like I've evolved past it.

Yeah.

So you know what?

I'm going to say that the reunion of the Vander Pump Rules Part 3 reunion is optional.

If you, if you watch it and you want to discuss it, great same for me i don't know where i'll be tonight at 9 p.m um i mean i know i know physically where i'll be but like mentally i just can't say so unclear if we'll be watching i i adore that idea and you know now that it's optional i'm sure that i'll watch it but like when it feels like homework i like i immediately don't want to do it i'm like taken back to like middle school exactly so um okay it feels so weird but i genuinely think that's all she wrote.

I think that's all she wrote too.

Apparently she's like busy and she has all this stuff going on today.

And so she's done writing.

Thank you.

Oh, actually, she said, no, Claudia, I'm not done writing.

Promote your special.

Okay.

My comedy special comes out in two weeks.

You can pre-order it on iTunes.

You could click the link in my bio on Instagram on Girl with No Job, or you could just search Disgraced Queen onto iTunes and pre-order it.

I would really appreciate it.

Thank you guys so much for the support so far.

I thank you so much for listening to the Morning Test.

I'm only morning share.

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Bye.