Joey Gynecomastia with Joey Camasta: Tuesday, October 28th, 2025

Speaker 0 Good morning, girlies. It's the toast.

Speaker 1 It's Jackson Claude and we're your hosts. It's your favorite show, the fast five things you need to know.

Speaker 2 We'll start your day off swirly. It's the toast.

Speaker 2 I sound amazing.

Speaker 2 Welcome back to the toast. Happy Tuesday.
I'm so excited to be sitting down with the King of Malsashimi. That's right.
It's Joey Kamaster. Hello.

Speaker 1 Welcome. I like the little teaser that you added.

Speaker 2 Oh, thank you.

Speaker 1 Did you get my clue? I got the clue because I knew that. I knew it was, I thought you were going to put an Uber on it if you did it.
But then I was triggered by the word trout. Now, I don't know why.

Speaker 1 It just makes me feel like a trout seems ugly. And why is Olivia called trout?

Speaker 2 Okay, you'd have to ask Jackie why she calls Olivia trout. I'm not 100% sure.

Speaker 1 Worst name ever.

Speaker 1 I was like, trout.

Speaker 2 So on my Instagram, I've been doing these clues and Jackie said that sashimi was going to be too niche. A couple people got it.
They thought it was Ben just because he loves fish.

Speaker 2 And then they thought it was Olivia Olivia because we call her trout. And then a couple of people were like, wait, Maul Sashimi.
Right. It's the king of Maul Sashimi, Joey Campbell.
Let's go together.

Speaker 1 Welcome to the toast. Well, I made it live and here I am.
Now I saw somebody looking at you right here.

Speaker 2 I always forget. The thing is, look wherever you want.
Yeah. I'm going to look around.
Wherever you look is none of my business. That's my camera, though.
That is your angle, yes.

Speaker 2 Smile. You're on candy camera.
Now, if you were to be cast in a modern remake of Hairspray, who do you think you would play?

Speaker 1 I would hope Divine.

Speaker 2 Who's the hunt?

Speaker 1 Tracy Turnblad's mother. Oh,

Speaker 2 what did you call her? And the the Turnblad. Oh, you said Divine?

Speaker 1 That's who played the original. Oh, I John Waters.

Speaker 2 I grew up in the John, I mean, then in the Nikki Blonsky era. You grew up in the Ricky Lake era.

Speaker 1 Yes, the Ricky Lake era.

Speaker 2 Yes, no, I'm very Tracy. Oh, and you're Tracy's mom.
I draw you. Tracy's mom, yes.
Wait, let's we get TikTok.

Speaker 1 You dare to

Speaker 2 one of those songs.

Speaker 1 Hey, mama. Hey, mama.
Good son. Santa, Santa Santa.
Santa, Santa, Santa.

Speaker 2 Santa, Santa San.

Speaker 1 Santa San.

Speaker 2 So for those who might be new here, even though you were literally just on the toast while I was on maternity leave, thank you for doing that. And thank you for getting Jackie to talk about Grinder.

Speaker 2 That was really.

Speaker 1 Well, she was wearing grinder socks and she's lying. I know she found them in her husband's drawer.

Speaker 1 She was caught. 100%.

Speaker 2 I'm so excited for you to be here with me. We low-key have so much to catch up on.
We have not podcasted together since Jackie's last maternity leave. Charlie's two years old.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 And that was kind of the mulsashimi, the day everything changed.

Speaker 1 You both have new faces.

Speaker 2 I have the same face, except it's just like a little bit bigger. Dr.
Sharon Geese. I haven't been to Dr.
Sharon Geesey in a while because I have to do it.

Speaker 1 Are you like Botox when you're pregnant?

Speaker 2 No, or when you're breastfeeding.

Speaker 1 So when are you able, here's hard-hidden questions. When are you getting back on the sauce?

Speaker 2 On the sauce?

Speaker 2 It's either going to be like this month because you can't breastfeed in another year.

Speaker 1 We'll catch it. Exactly.

Speaker 2 And then Ruby will be like so skinny.

Speaker 1 And that's like not what we want. We don't want modeling contracts just yet.
Not yet.

Speaker 2 So much to catch up on with you. Now, we're going to do the fast five.
You're one of my favorite people to discuss pop culture with.

Speaker 1 There's a lot going on.

Speaker 2 But there's a lot going on in your life since you've last been here. Let's talk about you leaving Bartstool.

Speaker 1 Yeah, let's do it.

Speaker 2 Let's do it. What's the thing? Like, people were shook.
Girls in our Facebook group were screaming, crying, throwing up out and about their favorite show. I know.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 all good things have to come to an end. No, you know, it just wasn't, you know, I have horse with contracts.
So it was like my contract was up.

Speaker 1 And I had, I was at a place where, you know, I can sign again for, you know, however long it was they were offering or I could kind of go on and do my own thing.

Speaker 1 And I feel like, you know, I wanted to definitely get more into the cooking space and like kind of, and, you know, I think it's just like we had its run. And I think it was, it was, it was time.

Speaker 2 It was beautiful. Yeah.

Speaker 1 There was five. I can't say enough good things about horse.
You can't.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Now tell me, like, who was the best person you met there and who was the worst?

Speaker 1 The best person I met there was Tommy Smokes. Okay.

Speaker 1 And the worst was probably

Speaker 1 my inner saboteur.

Speaker 2 I love when you write inner saboteur. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, good for you. No, I think it was a perfect experience.
I loved it. I loved doing it.

Speaker 1 But, you know, I feel like if I was going to get stuck there, I was going to be losing all the nausea quave, what makes me me. Yeah.
There was no, there was no, like,

Speaker 1 Susie homemaker there. Like, I wasn't, I wasn't doing,

Speaker 1 you know, interior design and I wasn't doing, you know,

Speaker 1 cooking lamb and all that stuff. It was like kind of subdued by the gambling addiction.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so, did you feel like you left with a gambling addiction?

Speaker 1 No, probably less now. Okay, that's good.
But I do enjoy going on DraftKings and, you know, feeling frivolous and gate and other big games. I've been watching sports a lot.

Speaker 1 But yeah, there was a 100% experience the whole way around. I loved it.

Speaker 2 And you and your co-host, Pat, left things well? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, yeah, he's, you know, we don't really hang out very much. Yeah.

Speaker 2 That's so great. That's so cool.
I loved that era for you. Yeah, it was fun.
And you still have your podcast with Snookie. Yes,

Speaker 2 it's roaring. It's roaring.

Speaker 1 I've been seeing your clips clips all over.

Speaker 2 You guys are so funny. Thank you.

Speaker 1 We're starting to do clips now. We're trying to get into 21st century.
I got us microphones.

Speaker 2 Yes, microphones.

Speaker 1 It's hard to get her in the studio because she has 900 kids, five stores. She's starved.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 She's filming that show still.

Speaker 2 Are you still on that show? What is it, we'll call it a family reunion?

Speaker 1 Family vacation. Jersey Trail Family Vacation.
Yeah, I do my cameos and appearances. I think the next one we were at.

Speaker 1 We filmed so much. They filmed year-round.

Speaker 2 I just saw this clip. I don't know if it's from a newer episode.
It's from the new show, Family Reunion or Family Vacation, where Snookie falls off the the booth and you're there.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God. What happened? Is she okay?

Speaker 1 Yeah, she's fine. She, she takes a licking and keeps on ticking.
She didn't even know what happened until the next day, and she wasn't even hurting the next day.

Speaker 1 So I don't understand what was going on. But yeah, that's kind of like her, not a party trick.
She was, we were in Boston and while they got, she, Dren was, that was Dren, actually.

Speaker 1 It wasn't, it wasn't Nicole. You know who Dren is? No.
It's her. violent alter ego.
Alter ego. Yeah.
Yeah. So she was, she, she was there.
So she's the one who summoned me to the club that night.

Speaker 1 Um, we were both in Boston working on separate projects.

Speaker 2 Oh, okay, separate projects.

Speaker 1 And yeah, so I went over there and she was trying to like scooch up on the booth and like rub and dance, but there was no she didn't realize it was hollow behind her.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it was behind her.

Speaker 1 So she went down a few, like 25 stories.

Speaker 2 Honestly, she looked like she snapped in half, but she's okay. She's fine.

Speaker 1 She snapped. She jumped right back up and didn't know anything happened.

Speaker 2 Now, are you single, Joey Camasta?

Speaker 1 No, I still. Are you still seeing? Yes, we're still together.

Speaker 2 Wow, that's a long time now. That's my sister-in-law is listening to you right now.

Speaker 1 Say hi to Mary.

Speaker 2 Hey, Mary. Love ya.
Bye.

Speaker 1 Everything's going strong. So he is, he is taking a leap of faith.
He left

Speaker 1 to backpack across Europe for the month. You're kidding.
And he's been gone for like, I haven't seen him.

Speaker 2 He's gonna get away from you fast enough.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 he's been gone for a month and a half.

Speaker 2 By himself?

Speaker 1 Well, but he started by himself. He started with his family.
Then he went on a solo thing. Now his homegirl, best homegirl, met him in, they were, I don't know where the hell they were at this point.

Speaker 1 They were in like Switzerland and now they're in Amsterdam.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 to close out his

Speaker 1 Rem Springa, where his Rum Springa, he was going out to discover herself.

Speaker 1 Hopefully she comes back to me. We're going to, I'm meeting him in Paris on the bridge and

Speaker 1 take my husband home and take my lover home.

Speaker 2 Who's the carry and who's the big?

Speaker 1 I'm definitely the big in both senses, size and finances.

Speaker 2 Are you still on a Zempig? We have so much to catch up on.

Speaker 1 I am a new girl who was a trizepatide.

Speaker 2 Trizepatide. I hear that's the one.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So I didn't know I was doing the Wagobi for so long, but now I'm on this.
So I love it. I know everyone says it's horrible how to get nauseous to get, but that's how I know it's working.

Speaker 2 Of course.

Speaker 1 I want to be like watering at the mouth, about to throw up at all times.

Speaker 2 Exactly. Like when you're,

Speaker 2 it's kind of like when you're pregnant yeah they say when you start to feel sick like it's signs of a healthy pregnancy but you're also in the back of a tax like legal bulimia correct

Speaker 1 have you ever on your ozempic journey gotten to the point of barfing because i didn't i got like super nautious right but i didn't barf i didn't barf i maybe no i never did but then they give those tiny little pills i don't take those i like it well you don't take those they come in the mail with it but i'm like the um what's it called zofran zofran

Speaker 1 zofran and apparently people i mean i had no idea that i had this there's this phobia of throwing up that I had growing up and I didn't know what it was.

Speaker 1 I had OCD horribly and I would do chants and number of things because I was terrified of throwing up. Oh, you're like.

Speaker 1 I went vegetarian for like 10 years because I was terrified of it.

Speaker 2 Because of your OCD.

Speaker 1 Omniphobia or

Speaker 1 I don't know what it is. All the girls that have it in the chat are screaming right now.
Okay. Whatever that is, I had no idea.

Speaker 1 So apparently the girls that are addicted, that are, that have that phobia are addicted to zofran because it's like it prevents you from ever getting nothin'.

Speaker 2 Zophran is a miracle drug.

Speaker 1 Why is it so tiny, though? I feel so, I think I have to take a whole handful.

Speaker 2 And I I don't like love the whole under-your-tongue thing. Oh, is that what you're supposed to do? Yeah, it has to dissolve under your tongue.

Speaker 1 Oh, I was, I was popping on like TikTok.

Speaker 2 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, I don't. You have to like put it under your tongue, let it dissolve, and then like swallow it.
It's fucking gross, but it really works. Yeah.

Speaker 2 So still on Ozempic.

Speaker 2 Still with your boyfriend.

Speaker 1 Still with the boyfriend. I think it's going good.
Yeah, but I'm leaving for to scoop him up in a couple weeks going to France.

Speaker 2 That is so cute that he's like on his e-prey love journey and you're going to meet him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, to meet him.

Speaker 2 Are you the marrying kind, Joey Camasta?

Speaker 1 I mean, I'm whatever. I just, you know, I just, yeah, I would love to get married.
Yeah. You would.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Do you think you would invite me?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, I would definitely invite you. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Because I would, would you let me officiate?

Speaker 1 You would officiate, but I would also want to get some kind of your contacts that you have for rentals.

Speaker 1 For sure, for sure, for sure.

Speaker 2 We'll get a comped.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I need something comped.

Speaker 2 But I don't feel like I really can be like the person I want to be until I've officiated a gay wedding.

Speaker 1 You haven't done it yet? No. Does your faith allow that? Yeah, I'm sure.
Yes, of course.

Speaker 2 And you would let me? Yeah, you don't care. I would be like a good...
I'd be honored. You'd be honored.

Speaker 1 Would I step on a glass even though I wasn't, I was, I wasn't another versus Jewish.

Speaker 2 Is your your man Jewish?

Speaker 1 No, but we can still smash things.

Speaker 2 I think you can like do whatever you want at your own wedding.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Correct.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there's a different traditions for everyone.

Speaker 2 What other life changes have you been going through, Joey, since I've last seen you? Well,

Speaker 1 I got a hair transplant.

Speaker 1 So that's why my hair looks wild. I do apologize.
I know how to style it. I've been bald for so long.

Speaker 2 So how long ago did you do it?

Speaker 1 I got it done in February.

Speaker 2 And it's October. Okay.
Now can you lift back your hair? Can I see your hairline?

Speaker 2 And you did it here, like by your your back.

Speaker 1 I did it here and the back bald spot and then like over here.

Speaker 2 Can I tell you? I never would have known. What?

Speaker 1 See how fluffy and big it is now? It's like I never had hair before, so I had to like, you know, I would keep it short and like

Speaker 1 and chez it, uh, just jizz it down, gel it down because I didn't know how to do with it. But now that I have it, I don't want to get cut it anymore because I'm afraid it will never grow back again.

Speaker 1 And I don't know how to style it. I need to go, I need to go see Rita Hazon.

Speaker 2 Did you go to Turkey or was this a local job?

Speaker 1 No, Dr. Shutella, who did my titties.
Dr. Shutella.
All in-house. It does everything in-house.
You can get anything you need done in East Hill. In the city? No, in East Hanover, New Jersey.

Speaker 2 I'm so happy for you.

Speaker 1 I was going to jump from there. Hutel does everything.
They too. Now, he's been on the titty committee for many moons.
He's like the go-to titty person.

Speaker 2 Remind me what you did to your titties.

Speaker 1 Oh, I had breasts. Breasts.

Speaker 1 I know that.

Speaker 2 I had top surgery. I know that continuing.

Speaker 1 I had top searching early on my transition.

Speaker 1 So that's always a good party chick when I pretend I'm trans, but because I already have the voice going.

Speaker 1 So you never know what you need. If I had to get into a good school or something,

Speaker 1 I could play trans.

Speaker 1 You play, right?

Speaker 2 And so your breasts, do you have any scars?

Speaker 1 yeah i have scars like under here and oh wow yeah so i have the t-scar so i have it i can if i i can really pull it out if i have to um and then he took my nipples off put on the table and like cleaned them out wow put it back on and that condition where like men have like ginochomastia

Speaker 1 and my name is comastia so i was always like this is the the tit the fat titty committee fucking surgery for me literally in your name yeah oh wow so i've been triggered for many years many years but you seem like you're looking and feeling and doing better than ever i am i love that i am but i'm at a i'm at a low place.

Speaker 1 I'm ready for something new. I'm ready for it to.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 2 Maybe you need to go on a backpacking solo trip through Europe to like find yourself. Like, what's your next move? Because I feel like you had this barstool era.

Speaker 2 And while it was like the last thing people would have expected, right?

Speaker 1 Like Joey can't. Oh, this cheap fucking studio.
I'm joking.

Speaker 2 While I think it was like the last place people expected you to be. And you were kind of the last person ever, anyone expected like barstool to highlight.
Happy. But it was like a brilliant marriage.

Speaker 2 It was, you were so great there. I feel like they really like highlighted your talents.
Yeah. And now you're moving on to bigger and better things.
And I'm so excited to see what Joey can master.

Speaker 1 I'm excited to see it too. I mean, if in a perfect world, I like my, you know, how

Speaker 1 I'll manifest and we have our career boards. Yeah, of course.
There's different people on my career boards. Maybe people that are like, we're just like cooking in their house, like not even trying.

Speaker 1 Like, you know how I, when I do my cooking shows, Ben came over and had and was experienced the ooh la la of

Speaker 1 the big of big times. And it's like, I'm so used to having a production and like people that are like doing like food styling and like all these like things.

Speaker 1 And I just need to just pick my phone up like this and just like record me cooking. And that's what people want.

Speaker 1 And I put my

Speaker 1 goal is to have the like the people that just go on their TikToks and do the like the shitty video. Yep.
And then they put it up.

Speaker 1 And then next thing they have, they have a cookbook and they're on Andrew Barrymore's show and they're doing all that. So that's like my journey.
I want my Martha Stewart era is upon us.

Speaker 1 I want to make sashels of simmer pots and sell them. And like, you know,

Speaker 1 I want a brand deal with, you know, cookware.

Speaker 2 Who is your like cooking idol? Like who's Aina?

Speaker 1 Like Aina.

Speaker 1 Yes, Aina martha um can you believe her name is aina i know i feel like not enough people talk about that not to be like a six-year-old but like it's vagina and i do you know i had no idea that she was jewish until until i found out the hard way when i found she was making a noodle kugel i had no idea um

Speaker 2 but yeah i now it's it's even more homey and like cozy though and like jeffrey's like so jewish just like you could just like look at him he doesn't need to say like hi i'm jeffrey and i'm jewish like we know um what else do we know about jeffrey what do you i think the question is what do you know about jeffrey what does her friend michael know about Jeffrey?

Speaker 2 Michael's a star. Those tablescapes really par J.

Speaker 1 One flower and a lot of them. Yeah, no, and he loves like a

Speaker 1 runner. A train, a runner.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, I went past her house this summer when I was in Southampton. I took a hydrangea leaf, and I have it.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It was from the outside from the fence.

Speaker 2 You know how like girls get their wedding bouquets? You can get it like dehydrated and saved and frayed. Yeah.
You should do that with the hydrangea.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Well, the leaf's about to get crumbled, so I have to put it somewhere safe.
It's time. But yeah, I thought that was going to to make some magic happen.
But yeah, Ina is

Speaker 1 my girl.

Speaker 1 In modern day, Wishbone Kitchen. I love her

Speaker 1 with my whole heart. I've been trying to be friends with her for so long.
I DM her and sometimes she puts an lol, but she hasn't took the bait yet.

Speaker 2 I feel like she's really busy. You know, her and Ben were supposed to cook together and she canceled like three times and they never rescheduled.
Just want to say. And I love her.
Right.

Speaker 2 And I could see like you two really vibing. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I think she's busy. She is busy.
She's she's got cookbooks. Many.
And she's opening DR packages at all times. Aren't we we all?

Speaker 1 I need to get on a good PR list if anyone's watching. Yeah, please.

Speaker 2 We got the PR girls. I know.
You know, Joey, please use this platform. What do you want most in this world? It's kind of like, we're like Sam.
Free shit.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Never to gain weight and, you know, to take naps. I'm just like ready for it.
I love napping. Have you had a Lola blanket yet?

Speaker 2 We do Minky Couture, actually. And don't forget to use Kotoes.

Speaker 1 Koto's. What is Minky Couture?

Speaker 2 Can they send me one of those? My couture is the real blanket, and then Lola like copied them.

Speaker 1 Oh, harden.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. It's kind of like Chanel.

Speaker 1 Well, do you think they're watching?

Speaker 2 for sure well i have i won't know the difference until i try it myself minky give joey a blanket yeah i like him one neutral tones big hugs blanket cool neutral tones thank you yeah your home is beautiful you've got recently but since the last time i saw you your apartment was new and you've been making lots of updates and and i feel like you really do have that sort of like

Speaker 2 You know, you're just, you're not what people expect, right?

Speaker 2 You look at you, you think one thing. Rough around the edges.
Yeah, right. You do have this like sort of like old edgy look.
But then you're also like this very

Speaker 2 chic.

Speaker 1 Chicago expensive.

Speaker 2 Gay. Yeah.
And you don't actually look gay. I mean, when you walk in this morning with your big trench coat like you did.

Speaker 2 But like just like looking at you, I wouldn't necessarily think that you're gay.

Speaker 1 Thank you.

Speaker 2 Oh, is that a compliment? Well, I mean, yeah. You're self-hating gay.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah, yeah. I mean, always.
But I think, I think, you know, I've been a woman for so long, and I mean, transition is finally sticking.

Speaker 2 Oh, right, right, right. Now, if you were a woman, what would your name be?

Speaker 1 I would want it to be something like a boy name, like a boyish name.

Speaker 2 Like something androgynous.

Speaker 1 Like Joey even. Joey.

Speaker 2 Is your full name Joseph?

Speaker 1 It's Joseph, John. And And does your family? Augustine Camasta.

Speaker 2 Augustine. That's very beautiful.
Because you're Italian, yes. Yes.
And does your family call you Joseph? I could see, like, I could say.

Speaker 1 No, they just call me Joey or Faggot.

Speaker 1 Either one.

Speaker 1 Whatever is going on there.

Speaker 2 Whatever everyone's feeling.

Speaker 1 Is this live? Yes.

Speaker 2 Well, no, it's not live. Like, it hasn't been, it's not out yet.
But if you want to cut something out, we can. No, say it.
You don't want to cut out the slur?

Speaker 1 No, loud and proud. Yeah, right.

Speaker 2 You have the ability. Like, you have the privilege of using it.

Speaker 1 Well, that's what that's important. You've suffered for it.
I've suffered long enough. My people have suffered long enough.
Yes, they have. Our people have been through worse.

Speaker 2 Yes. Who is a gay person that you hate?

Speaker 1 Oh, um,

Speaker 1 who is it that I can't stand? I don't know socially

Speaker 1 I hate, but I can't stand Law Roach.

Speaker 2 What?

Speaker 1 I don't know. He just seems like we're from the same place.

Speaker 2 The Bronx?

Speaker 1 The world. I saw you doing it the other day.
I don't know. Maybe because I saw him like judging drag shows or something and he was like nasty to the girls.
Oh. Something like that.
I don't hate him.

Speaker 1 I mean, that's, oh, Jonathan Van Ness I don't like either.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but you're like, that's not a unique take. I feel like a lot of people don't like Jonathan Vanessa ever since his Rolling Stone Expose.

Speaker 2 But I feel like you always like randomly like love and hate people. Like I know you love Caitlin Jenner.
We love her too. Love, yes.
She is going to be on this week's episode of The Kardashians.

Speaker 2 Will you be tuning in?

Speaker 1 Oh, what is she doing there?

Speaker 2 They're saying goodbye to their house. They're selling that house that they all grew up in.
Black and White House. The black and white house.
So they're having this big dinner.

Speaker 1 And then Chris said, spoiler alert, Caitlin, look who's here. Wearing heels today.

Speaker 2 She was actually wearing hogas. What is that?

Speaker 1 Oh, flap-flop.

Speaker 2 Flip-flop. No, no, hogas, like the sneakers, like the trendy sneakers, like running sneakers.
Well, she's got, she got osteoporosis. You have to be careful.

Speaker 2 Everybody forgets, Caitlin is like one of the women.

Speaker 2 Well, yes, but accomplished athletes of our time. Oh, so she can, she can do triathlon, triathlon, whatever, whatever she used to do.
What's your Starbucks order?

Speaker 1 Oh, this is a

Speaker 1 quad oat milk iced macchiato.

Speaker 2 What's a quad?

Speaker 1 Four shots.

Speaker 2 Wow. Four shots of espresso in that tiny little thing.

Speaker 1 I've been napping severely the past three days.

Speaker 1 Are you depressed? No, I'm not really. I was on a a girls trip this weekend fun

Speaker 1 we went out to cape may the um down in um and all the way in new jersey and they they have a really cool like um halloween thanksgiving uh fall festival there and when you go on a girls trip who are the girls nicole uh-huh um and her friends from home and then

Speaker 1 one of our gay best friends fun yeah so we all did that rented this big house and then we just we had to like drank every day went to wineries and went to restaurants and stuff can i ask you an honest question joey do you ever feel threatened by jaywow and her friendship with nicole Because Nicole's like kind of two best friends.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I don't feel threatened. I mean, that's, we had to, like, learn that early on and like, you know, kind of like

Speaker 1 between her best friends from home, her Jerry Showbush sense, and now me, we all had to kind of stake our claim and like, you know, put our foot in the ground and stand our ground.

Speaker 1 So everyone knows, like, to respect each other's boundaries.

Speaker 1 I mean, I am jealous of Jay Wow's tits. Yeah, me too.
If I got tits again, I would want those.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. I always say if I got like tits, which I will one day, I'll be bringing my sister Margot to the office and say, copy of

Speaker 2 these beautiful breasts she's a beautiful girl snatch a satchel satchel satchel exactly that that transitioned from snatcheler to the satcheler did someone forget a vowel um no do you remember do you watch van der Harm Brauls not in the recent years I know one of the most recent seasons like Katie Maloney like brought a guy and he was like four feet tall and had really curly hair and his name was Satchel oh and so we just started calling Margo Satchel I do like that show though me too it's not there anymore what shows are you watching right now like what are you into I mentioned Murdoch heavy heavy are you watching the scripted one on who I'm watching every time I google I'll Google Murdoch on the TV and I've watched it all now.

Speaker 1 Now I know where I am in the storyline, whether it's real or fake.

Speaker 2 Oh, you were big on the Karen Reed case, too.

Speaker 1 Oh, yes, she believes she's innocent. Yes, she's innocent.
You've been chatting with her? You've been face chatting. You're kidding.
Face chatting. Yes, she's doing great.

Speaker 1 There's a new story coming out about her. Who's she?

Speaker 2 She tried her on the podcast. I tried.

Speaker 2 She's so busy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, she's not busy. She just says, she's not allowed to do anything like that until after something happens or she's still going to court for the next trial.
Got it, got it.

Speaker 1 Season three of Karen Reed. Right, right, right, right, right.

Speaker 1 But I do love her. Obsessed with that.
But Murdaw, back to Murdaw. There's so many twists and turns.
I know. And so I think I like, and Reg reached the end of where he is now.

Speaker 1 I guess he's still alive and in prison.

Speaker 2 The dad.

Speaker 1 Dad. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And, but now I'm watching, but I'm watching the Hulu version of it with Patricia Arquette. Anything with Arquette in it is, I know, is going to be a fucking killer.

Speaker 2 You watch Gypsy Rose?

Speaker 1 Of course, Gypsy Rose. Severance.

Speaker 1 What else is she?

Speaker 1 Anything she's in. Yeah, she's pretty major.
So I knew I was going to like it.

Speaker 2 So you're big into true crime.

Speaker 1 True crime. I love true crime.
Nothing

Speaker 1 is really doing it for me as far as series goes. What should I be watching?

Speaker 2 Me and Ben are.

Speaker 1 Any new shows to bed rot.

Speaker 2 Oh, and we have a story. Would you watch Nobody Wants This?

Speaker 1 I do with the rabbi. Yeah, with the rabbi.

Speaker 2 I feel like you would like it.

Speaker 1 I do. Is it ongoing, though?

Speaker 2 New season just came out.

Speaker 1 That's what it was. Okay, I've watched the old season.
I haven't seen the new season.

Speaker 2 I think you'd like it.

Speaker 1 I do. I like the first season.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and we have a story. We'll talk about it a little bit.
I mean, that's what we're currently watching, watching the Kardashians. Oh, are you watching Dancy with the Stars? I am.

Speaker 1 You know what?

Speaker 1 I wanted to hate it because I just feel feel like I'm annoyed that I'm not big enough to start to be on the show. So I automatically.

Speaker 2 But I feel like that's a good goal. It is a goal.

Speaker 1 Also, traders. I want to be on the traders.
Oh, you would be great. I know.
I just have to wait till they start hiring, like, the

Speaker 1 bottom of the barrel. Right.

Speaker 2 We'll be the high-riding.

Speaker 1 But dancing with the stars, I...

Speaker 1 They're pulling on my heartstrings to say that fucking

Speaker 1 Robert Irwin is just getting me every time. We both have dead parents.
Right. And we know how it is.
So I identify with him and also identify as being his lover when he turns of age.

Speaker 2 Is he not of age? I don't know.

Speaker 1 He looks very young.

Speaker 2 He looks 13, but also 37.

Speaker 1 I'm sure he's of age.

Speaker 2 I think he's like 21. Now, let me ask you a question.
Yes, ma'am.

Speaker 2 Because every time we talk about Dancing with the Stars, I talk about how I feel like there's something going on between Zach and Dylan Afron.

Speaker 2 Ever since Dylan became a big star, Zach hasn't come to the ballroom. He hasn't supported on, you know, on dedication night.
The other siblings came on dedication night. He danced for his sister.

Speaker 1 She's trying to hide that fatcha, mama. Is that what you think?

Speaker 2 You think he's got a new face and he's just like unavailable?

Speaker 1 Hopefully he went back to his old face.

Speaker 2 Right, right.

Speaker 1 And got real scary there for a moment. I don't know where we lie at this point.
I know. I think that could be it because he doesn't want the ridicule.

Speaker 2 That's an interesting theory. I had thought that it was like Zach Efron's always been the big star in his family.
Now Dylan's like getting his flowers and like it's been hard for his ego.

Speaker 1 What was Chris Jenner doing there in the audience?

Speaker 1 Was she trying to get Alex Earl to do a reality show?

Speaker 2 I'm so glad you brought that up. She was there positioned as Alex.
I know about

Speaker 2 Alec Baldwin, friends and family.

Speaker 2 Does she speak the language, though? How is she going to communicate with her? Hilaria or Chris? Chris, how is she going to communicate with Hilaria?

Speaker 2 I don't know, but I think that's why she was there. Okay.

Speaker 2 It was odd. It was odd.

Speaker 1 There was an else there.

Speaker 2 Joey, I have a question for you.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're right.

Speaker 2 Are you ready for the Fast Life Stories?

Speaker 1 I've never been more ready.

Speaker 2 Today's episode of The Toast is brought to you by Weight Watchers, a trusted science-backed brand that has supported millions of people in their wellness journeys for over six decades, myself included.

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Okay. Now, Choey, do you know who Nara Smith is?

Speaker 1 Yes, she is the human Xanax that cooks behind TV and beautiful clothes, and her husband's hot as fuck.

Speaker 2 Well, she is seemingly hitting back after the internet has speculated that she used a surrogate to welcome her most recent baby.

Speaker 2 So Nara Smith is hitting back after flaunting her abs two weeks after announcing the birth of her fourth baby.

Speaker 2 The internet then started speculating that she welcomed her newborn, Fonnie Golden, via surrogate. So she posted this picture two weeks after giving birth, okay?

Speaker 2 And of course, it's an insane photo. She doesn't look like she gave birth in the last 20 years.
And as someone who just did give birth, I can show you what it looks like if you want.

Speaker 2 It doesn't look like that.

Speaker 2 And so she's sort of hitting back. She shared a a picture holding her baby girl as well as another snap with the newborn on her lap showing off her stomach.
How many kids does she have? Four.

Speaker 2 She has four kids. And she's 24.

Speaker 2 So this is what she wrote. Women's bodies are pure magic, divinely designed to create, grow, and nurture life.
We become the bridge between heaven and earth, guiding into this world.

Speaker 1 Even her words are soothing.

Speaker 2 With that, our bodies transform and stretch. I used to feel the need to bend and force it back how it used to look, only to realize that it has been home to four other bodies.

Speaker 1 Well, but you're 24.

Speaker 2 The final stage is filled with grace and slowing down.

Speaker 1 Let me see your stomach.

Speaker 2 Yeah. My stomach or hurts.
No, hers. Okay, because I was like, get out.

Speaker 1 We were sharing Midrash earlier.

Speaker 1 It could be.

Speaker 1 I mean, did she ever gain weight when she was pregnant?

Speaker 2 She had a bump.

Speaker 1 But wouldn't they show her? Wouldn't they know that she was pregnant the whole time, or she just came out of nowhere with a new baby?

Speaker 2 No, no, she has been pregnant. So she honestly knows.
I don't know if everybody saw her in like a bikini. Like, you could wear a prosthetic bum.

Speaker 2 I'm not saying that she did, but you could wear a prosthetic bump. Like Beyonce.
Like Beyonce.

Speaker 2 yes i'm glad you brought that up what is the celebrity conspiracy theory you like 100 believe because mine is that beyonce did not carry blue ivy specifically oh i don't even know let me think you know they say avril levine died and came back as that bitch melissa i don't really buy that one rivers yes yes melissa rivers um i like the i like the one the one where katie perry is jeminae ramsey i like that one too they really do look alike yeah she's dating um that man

Speaker 2 yesterday spoke about that yesterday what do you make of that i mean get it girl I kind of like it.

Speaker 1 I mean, the last one, I just, I think that

Speaker 1 I thought that

Speaker 1 I thought that he was much bigger of a star. For some reason, I think Orlando Bloom, like marrying her together,

Speaker 1 dulled his celebrity. And it was almost like now she was the only one.
I didn't even think of him as an actor anymore. He went into the fit.
He felt like he was.

Speaker 2 I think it also made people not like him.

Speaker 1 Something about him. Yeah.
I don't know. But I do like this new thing for him because so much he's to get that man out.
He was hot.

Speaker 2 Have you ever seen Orlando Bloom's penis?

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 2 He was on a, oh no, yes, on a wake, a paddleboard. Paddleboard, yeah.
In the nude. And I don't know if he like knew he was going to get paparazzi, but we saw his penis.
Yeah. Isn't that interesting?

Speaker 1 I love saying penises. I'll always say yes to a penis.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I just feel like it's like fun.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But back to Nara Smith. I mean, if she, if I think she's, she's that type of body, she's a model.

Speaker 1 And I think every other model like that, we saw Heidi Klume and all these other women give birth and they snap back two weeks later. So it could be true.
She's 24 years old. Right.
She's a model.

Speaker 2 Heidi Klume walked in a Victoria Seeger fashion show six weeks postpartum.

Speaker 1 Yeah. See what I mean? So it should show it is able.
She is able to snap back like that.

Speaker 1 And I think if she she was going to have a surrogate, I think she's the kind of person to probably share it and like be okay with that.

Speaker 2 I think there's a lot of things like we just don't understand.

Speaker 1 If it was surrogate, I don't think it would be her being vain.

Speaker 2 Maybe it's because, you know, she had an issue or something. Yeah, you don't want to screw it up.
Joey, do you want to be a parent one day?

Speaker 1 Okay, I always said this. If I'm not as rich as Andy Cohen and able to give my kid the life that he deserves as a gay kid, I ain't doing it yet.
I'm not slumming it.

Speaker 2 I think that's on a school bus across town. Right, right, right.
You don't want a budget. No.
No.

Speaker 1 I want to be able to have the right vacations and all the the other things, international friends and the private schools and the and the charity events and things. I don't want to.

Speaker 2 Does Snookie have beef with Andy Cohen? Why does that, why do I remember some of her?

Speaker 1 It was that she made a lot of fun. She made like a nasty comment.
Well, no nasty comment. It was about the household.

Speaker 1 Everyone's saying, is she going to be going to be on it? Is she going to the next house? And Andy was very blatant. Like, no, like, I have no reason to

Speaker 1 she's not there. She's not, you know, it's there, Jersey Shore is such an iconic thing itself.
It doesn't tie in with what the franchise is. This is, it just wouldn't work.

Speaker 2 And has Nicole ever been on Watch What Happens Live? Yes, and did you bartend?

Speaker 1 I bartended a separate time, got it, okay. But yeah, I she, um, I didn't bartend that, but yeah, Nicole's been on a few times.
Oh, good.

Speaker 1 Um, yeah, so there was no be, I don't think there was anything, it was just miscommunication.

Speaker 2 Okay, I feel like his tone was like not the nicest, but probably, but I'm like a snooky defender till I die. Yeah, you know that about me, right? You're trying to get her over here.
Yes, I know.

Speaker 2 I'm trying to book Nicole as a co-host, you guys. She always been really, really helpful.
And maybe this, like, let this be my plea. I don't know if you know or that she knows.
Like,

Speaker 2 she was like my number one, like, celebrity in high school. Like, Like, she's the only one you fuck with.

Speaker 1 She fucks with.

Speaker 1 You're the only one she fucks with. I know, I know.

Speaker 2 And so, I really want her to come on the box.

Speaker 1 But she's like, she goes, she goes, who is it? I go, I go, it's uh, Claudia. She goes, Oh, yeah, for her, I'll do it.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, no, no, I'm telling you, like, she would love it. I think she would have a great time.
She could promote any of her projects.

Speaker 2 But she's like not desperate, right? Like, she, she has a nice thing going on over there in Jersey. Yeah,

Speaker 2 I love her. Yeah.
Um, so this is kind of big news for you. Diddy has received his prison release date.

Speaker 2 Um, he's got a 50-month sentencing for his federal crimes, and they say that he will be released from prison May 8th, 2028.

Speaker 1 So, that's not that far. I mean, I would get myself ready now.
This is like the for the big reveal party. I would start planning the new next white party.

Speaker 1 I'd be in there knowing, like, you know, what I'd be doing when I'm getting out.

Speaker 2 Like, who has to buy you, who will get invited.

Speaker 1 Write the tell-all.

Speaker 2 Right, of course.

Speaker 1 So, he can go on all the talk shows, write the tell-all. Um, how many months is it since then? Since then, until then, 50.

Speaker 1 So it'll be 50 months from now to then? Yep. I don't think he'll do the full 50.

Speaker 2 You don't. Well, actually, is it 50, 12 months? No, it's probably less.

Speaker 1 But then he's going to have to be on probation. Like, is he not allowed to drink or have free coughs anymore?

Speaker 2 Yeah, or like free cough, free zone. Free cough, free zone.

Speaker 2 Title.

Speaker 2 Can I ask you a question? Yes, ma'am. I actually feel, and correct me if I'm wrong, that you would thrive in a prison environment because you're tatted up.

Speaker 2 And so people would just automatically respect you. Like, you look like a little intimidating.

Speaker 1 Well, I do say, well, it's not the intimidation. It's about the

Speaker 1 giving permission for people to chuckle or laugh. Do you know know what I mean? Like people are such a high-strung environment and just in that, like my little quirks and same with you.

Speaker 1 Like we would, we would both thrive.

Speaker 2 No, I would not thrive in a prison environment. Do you think

Speaker 1 our funny bone would get us through everything?

Speaker 2 So I wouldn't be able to flex my funny bone. I would, my biggest fear in life is going to jail.
Like I have nightmares about it all the time.

Speaker 1 Why is that an amputation? Amputation?

Speaker 2 A specific limb or any amputation? Any amputation?

Speaker 1 Or a finger. No, I'd rather die.
Really? Yeah, no, it's my biggest. And again, I am not being disrespectful to the MPG community, of course, of course, of course.

Speaker 1 um but it's like it's just it's something that makes me so uncomfortable but i'm an adult and i'm and i'm respectful and i'm caring and i'm compassionate so i'm not gonna ever show face about it and i'm like you know but at the end in the inside i'm freaking out

Speaker 2 so uncomfortable so you'd rather go to prison

Speaker 1 if i had to depending on what limb i mean maybe if it's just a digit i would be fine without a leg

Speaker 1 prison

Speaker 1 wow i'd rather live without a leg Prison is I mean, now that you're saying it, it does sound nice to lay down all day long and not be able to have to get up. That does sound satiating.

Speaker 1 But I'd have to cross that bridge when I got there. And it depends on what kind of unit I'm in.
If I can be with like with where Situation was and like where Firefest was. They were there together.

Speaker 1 Firefest. And

Speaker 2 yeah, I read Mike the Situation's memoir, by the way. It's incredible.

Speaker 2 And has Snookie written a memoir? Not a memo. I know she wrote a fictional novel.

Speaker 1 She has many books. She has Guido Beach.
Right. She has.

Speaker 1 Those are fiction.

Speaker 2 That's a good idea.

Speaker 1 How to be a Guidette. Right.
Confessions of a Guidette. Then she has

Speaker 1 like three mom books.

Speaker 2 Oh, are any of them memoirs like about her rise to fame?

Speaker 1 No, but I think we should, that's who the next one.

Speaker 2 She should, because Mike, the situation's, obviously, his story is a little bit different. I don't want to.

Speaker 1 Don't you have any publishing friends? I can help you. I want a cookbook too.
Anyone?

Speaker 2 Yeah, by the way, just put it out there, Joey. Right into the camera.

Speaker 1 The cookbook. Thank you.

Speaker 2 I'm on those blankets. Thank you.
I read his memoir. It was incredible.

Speaker 2 He talked about his time in prison and how he met Billy McFarlane from the Fire Festival, and they kind of became like, not buddies, but they only met like once or twice.

Speaker 1 And that lawyer was there too. Cohen, Mike Cohen.
Michael Cohen. Really? Yes, he he was there too.

Speaker 2 I used to live on the same block as him. And the day he got out of prison, it was Paparazzi.
I was like, oh, finally, my time has come. But it was for Michael Cohen.

Speaker 1 Oh. Yeah.
I would have still tripped and fell and caused a scene.

Speaker 2 Yeah, of course, flushed to Tiddy or something. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 let's flash back to Diddy. Yes.

Speaker 1 I mean, I don't know if I should be supporting him. He's bad.

Speaker 2 He's a bad person. I believe he's guilty of the crimes that he's accused of.

Speaker 1 Well, I hope he finds peace in prison and gets to forgive himself.

Speaker 1 can

Speaker 2 what would Diddy have to do to win you back?

Speaker 1 I mean, I'm a thirst trap, so he would just need to sign me to his new record label. Right, right.

Speaker 2 Give me a cookbook. Yeah, a cookbook.
And a Minky Guitar blanket.

Speaker 1 A Minky Guitar blanket, a cookbook line. Yeah.
I mean, sorry, a cookware line, dishes, a candle, my own fragrance and candle.

Speaker 2 What celebrity brands, like people who do like crazy Chrissy Tegan, which brands do you think are good? Like for the kitchen, Dolly, Dolly has a line.

Speaker 1 I talked about this on the podcast the other day, and I recently just ran into her, but I forgot to tell her about it. Rachel Zoe has a line at TJ Maxx and

Speaker 2 Marshall's. Do you know that Rachel Zoe makes the cutest kids' clothes? Because Because Ruby's entire wardrobe, TJ Maxx and Marshall's, so cheap.
It's all Rachel Zoe.

Speaker 1 Who knew? I got a black throw blankets. I got measuring cups.
I got little clips for the bags. I got like all this shit.
And I know she doesn't have a hand in it.

Speaker 1 I think she probably signs her name over to it.

Speaker 2 I don't know. I would hope she does.
Well, because, you know, I think that makes her

Speaker 2 money. Like all the stuff she does, like the Zoe report, like that's not really generating revenue.
It's the TJ Maxx Marshalls Kohl's. It's the big box.
And now that I know.

Speaker 2 I hope she is involved because I love it.

Speaker 1 Now that I know her namesake, when I'm going there, look, it's almost like going to the grocery store and you see a a quality product like Nabisco or like a name like crap. You trust it.

Speaker 1 Something you can trust, an American standard.

Speaker 2 What do you think about her on the Railhouse Rise of Everything?

Speaker 1 I like it. And I said, I said, I'm so happy for your reservances.
I met her at a party. I was fucked up

Speaker 2 during Fashion Week. Of course.

Speaker 1 And I totally forgot to tell her about Myra Zoe report of the blankets. So Rachel Zoe, I love.

Speaker 1 Courtney Cox's home court things are fabulous. What does she make? She makes like a

Speaker 2 spray for the kitchen counter.

Speaker 1 Surface cleaner.

Speaker 1 Hand wash.

Speaker 1 Oh. Like

Speaker 2 soap. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like room sprays and things like that. Frame candles.

Speaker 1 Oh, oh. So I like home court.
I do enjoy that.

Speaker 1 That's a cute name. Yeah, isn't it? Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 Who else do I like?

Speaker 2 What about, because you're really into beauty too, like hair and makeup. Oh, yeah.
I love. You like the whey?

Speaker 1 The whey,

Speaker 1 I used to use the whey tons of time, but they like this my favorite product. I love their dry shampoo mousse.
It was the best. I don't know people do that.

Speaker 1 They're not doing any aerosols right now because they're growing green. Oh, oh.

Speaker 1 But I love Way.

Speaker 1 I do love

Speaker 1 Lady Gaga flavored makeup.

Speaker 2 House Labs. House Labs.
The Foundation is the best. Oh, I recently switched to a new foundation.
I feel like such a makeup girl. Natasha Denona.
Oh, yes.

Speaker 1 Italian queen. She's fabulous.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 She's a queen. Her concealer is probably the best, too.

Speaker 2 I've heard that too, but I'm kind of in my no-concealer.

Speaker 1 Around it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we're very fresh. I don't know if you could tell, yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm just wearing a lot of stuff. I'm really wearing Charlotte Pilserie powder today.

Speaker 2 Oh, you look gorgeous. Do you do a full beat every day?

Speaker 1 Not every day. I was going to do one for today, but I was like, I have to go to the eye doctor after after this.

Speaker 2 Oh, so you don't want to get a star?

Speaker 1 I have no contacts left and I have to go to Europe.

Speaker 2 Europe is calling. I'm spending a week in Borgia.

Speaker 1 I can't. Right, right, right.
Possibly.

Speaker 1 But I love, who else is doing good over there? That

Speaker 1 Rare Beauty is good.

Speaker 2 Do you do Rode skincare?

Speaker 1 I had it all, but can I be honest?

Speaker 1 It's lovely and glowy and gorgeous. Those pretty girls are young because I'm holding things up with some of the things that I'm doing.
You don't find them taking glow. That's fine.

Speaker 1 I need a little more retinol. I need a little more, you know,

Speaker 1 I hate hate J-Lo.

Speaker 2 Oh, okay. Let's talk.

Speaker 1 And I found out the bitch is fucking working out of my gym now.

Speaker 2 What gym?

Speaker 1 I don't want to say, but it's

Speaker 1 near my house. And it's...

Speaker 2 She goes to the same gym as you.

Speaker 1 I don't think she goes there. She just showed up there one day.
It's like, fucking, get off my dick, bitch.

Speaker 2 Oh, you think she's like following you?

Speaker 1 Well, she probably is.

Speaker 2 I can't stand her. And talk to me a little bit about that because I'm actually, I'm turning.

Speaker 1 I just think she's, I've heard from people in this industry

Speaker 1 over many, many years.

Speaker 1 And I remember when I was working at Patricia Field as a drag queen, she came in there and she tried to buy a cowboy hat for me and she gave me attitude oh wow her p-diddy right her diddy oh this is when they were dating back in the 90s so yeah she you're saying she doesn't have she has a horrible reputation for being a nasty bitch to people around her um people above her people below her she's just a cunt

Speaker 2 and i don't play that game i don't either be a humble queen like us we i'm constantly in awe of our humbleness and our modesty thank you and how down to earth we both are i think that's probably like one of the keys to our long long-term success yeah but she had a selfie um in the mirror at at the gym.

Speaker 2 And that was your gym. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So I haven't had that since. Well, I haven't been there all year, but still.

Speaker 2 I forgot that she used to date P. Diddy.
She's had a long life. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Okay. Next up, Morgan Wallen.
So you know he was arrested in 2024. Well, the body camera.

Speaker 1 If I was in prison with him,

Speaker 2 is that your celebrity crush?

Speaker 1 It'd be one of them. I would get, I would do filthy things.
You would? Yes. Oh, that's okay.
Country boy.

Speaker 2 I don't see that. I guess, yeah, you are like low-key country boy.

Speaker 1 That's not my main. That's not my, that's my main, my main, my main crush, my main hall pass.

Speaker 2 Who is your main crush?

Speaker 1 Drake motherfucking May.

Speaker 2 I think you're gonna say Drake Bell. Who's Drake May?

Speaker 1 Drake May is the quarterback of the Patriots, the hottest guy in the game.

Speaker 2 I have to look him up. Why do you know that?

Speaker 1 Because he's the hottest guy I've ever seen in my life. Drake May.

Speaker 2 My sister-in-law is watching. Oh, he's so cute.

Speaker 1 If things don't work out with me, your brother, I'm going with Drake May.

Speaker 2 Does he have a boyfriend?

Speaker 1 No, he has a wife. I'm sorry.
He's Christian. That's what I meant.

Speaker 2 He has a wife. Oh, look, that's the first thing that comes up when you...

Speaker 1 So cute. I've always been thinking half a patient.

Speaker 2 His wife Ann Stuns in her outfit. Okay, wait, wait, let's see.
Let's open her Instagram. Her name is Ann Michael Mitch.
She's probably a toaster, which is so cute.

Speaker 2 So they got married in front of a big cross.

Speaker 1 Yeah. From the Lord.

Speaker 2 From the Lord. Okay, I'm happy.

Speaker 1 Do you still have your hupsa from your wedding?

Speaker 2 My chapa? No. Oh.
My hupsa. Thank you for introducing me to Drake May, but I'm talking about Morgan Wallen.
So you're saying like you would totally have sex with Morgan Wallen?

Speaker 1 Multiple times a day.

Speaker 2 I think you'd have to fight like a lot.

Speaker 1 I don't have to throw a chair in my asshole. Yeah.

Speaker 1 With all four legs going in at the same time.

Speaker 2 That's top five. One of the funniest things you've ever said.

Speaker 1 I just like, I mean, I don't, I've, I liked that bad, the bad boy part about him, but that's not the one that turns me out about him.

Speaker 1 I think he's like, kind of like, just so unserious and like maybe not all there. Yeah.
I think that's why he's a little dumb looking.

Speaker 2 He's like a little, yeah, yeah. Well, so he was arrested in 2024.
We talked about he's also been arrested in 2020, but the body camera footage from the 2024 arrests has just been

Speaker 2 and he is like literally

Speaker 2 like asking if his hair looks good. So I guess he has like trauma from his 2020.

Speaker 1 He wanted to tell her his hair treatment.

Speaker 2 He wanted to redo it. Right.
He was like, he was unhappy with how it came out.

Speaker 2 So we wanted to make sure that his 2024 monk shot looks a little bit more composed than his 2021, according to recently released footage.

Speaker 2 So in the clip, he can be seen chatting with the officers after he was arrested and brought to a local precinct in Nashville for booking.

Speaker 2 Throughout the interaction, Wallen remained cordial with the officers, but there was one constant conversational focal point the star wanted to make sure was in order before he was processed, and that's his appearance.

Speaker 2 So an officer asked Wallen, Does anyone have Sharla Pillsbury powder? Right. You say you've been arrested before.
There's your picture if you want to see it from last time.

Speaker 2 Do I got to take another picture? And he said, yeah, they'll probably take an updated picture for you. Can you make sure I got my hair looking decent?

Speaker 1 Vanity Queen.

Speaker 2 Vanity Queen. So if you want to look at the photos side by side, like clearly photo one, it's really not.

Speaker 1 It's not great. Well, that's giving Hillbilly hoe down.

Speaker 2 Right. And then he said in 2024, I can do better.

Speaker 2 He's really drunk. In 2024, he's like, I can do better.
He's smiling.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's the one I want.

Speaker 2 Looking more coiffed. Yeah.
Looks like he definitely went to doctor.

Speaker 1 He's said after he made sure that his hair looked good.

Speaker 2 Okay. Yeah.
So he's like, this wasn't his first rodeo. Yes.
Have you ever been arrested? Yes, twice.

Speaker 1 You're kidding.

Speaker 2 What were your crimes?

Speaker 1 First was underage drinking prom weekend.

Speaker 2 Okay, that like doesn't count. Wildwood, New Jersey.
You like got thrown in the drunk tank.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and I got, and I got handcuffed to my guy had a crush on.

Speaker 2 Oh, so you planned it that way?

Speaker 1 Yeah, but

Speaker 1 they ran out of zip ties because they were doing zip ties for everyone because they had to get the whole hotel.

Speaker 1 Okay, wait, tell me the story from the beginning.

Speaker 2 Where did you grow up, by the way, Jersey?

Speaker 1 It was Union, New Jersey. We were at Crown Weekend in Wildwood, New Jersey.
This was the weekend of June 7th in 1997.

Speaker 2 I was just three years old.

Speaker 1 Yes. And I was drinking.
So we were all in the Crown Hotel, piled in. I'm like, we're all like, you know, drunk and like.

Speaker 2 Wait, sorry to interrupt. Did you come out in high school or you were still?

Speaker 1 Oh, I was out in middle school. Yeah.
Out and about. Yeah.
There we are.

Speaker 1 I had bleached hair and I was wearing a kitten heel.

Speaker 2 So they knew. They knew.
Okay.

Speaker 1 So we were chair. I guess we were like all enjoying drinking and we were in their rooms and they came like knocking on the door and they walk in.

Speaker 1 If they found like alcohol in the room, you got zipped up. Wow.
And I was 18 at the time.

Speaker 2 Oh, so they charged you as an adult?

Speaker 1 I guess. I think my parents had to pay like $80 to get me out.

Speaker 2 Okay, cheap at the price. What kind of lip is that? Fenty? Oh, this is a Fenty lip.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I love it. Do you like it? Yeah, it looks, is it like a hydrating balm?

Speaker 2 It's like a lipstick, like a creamy lipstick. I'm not crazy about the consistency.
You see, it's like getting kind of dirty.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I have to get a new, I have to go to Sephora before I leave for your free big trip.

Speaker 2 Oh, that's the last time I saw you.

Speaker 1 And Sephora. Yes, that's right.

Speaker 2 Okay, wait. Sorry, go back.
So

Speaker 1 they raided the room. The guy I was with, they ran out of the zip tie.
So he said, we have to cuff you two together. I was like,

Speaker 1 so there's all these pictures of us coming down the stairs. Is he gay? No.
Oh, so you just had a crush on him. And like, I'm not quieted.
I haven't seen him in years. He probably still is hot.

Speaker 2 What is he up to? I don't know. People who are hot in high school are like, Nick or Cioli.

Speaker 2 Put it out there, Joey.

Speaker 1 You know who you are.

Speaker 2 Nick or Cioli. Yeah.
Maybe his sister's a toaster. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So we got handcuffed together and we went into the clinker. And the grossest thing ever happened that happens, I remember that up that weekend.
I had a little toy cat. Like,

Speaker 1 I was, you know, Raver at the time.

Speaker 2 It was a toy cat. It was like a little figurine.

Speaker 1 I like going on the boardwalk.

Speaker 1 I was figuring it was in my pocket. So they're searching for like, for like Paraphramia and drugs and knives and stuff.
And he found this little toy like kitten in my thing.

Speaker 1 And he goes, oh, at least after this, you can at least tell your friends you got some pussy this weekend. I was like, ow!

Speaker 2 Not pussy. Sick.
Oh, my God. I'm underage.
And then the second time you got arrested?

Speaker 1 Oh, this was dramatic. Okay.

Speaker 1 They took my shoelaces away this time. Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 It was for blocking the box

Speaker 1 in my car going into the Holland Tunnel, blocking the box. Wait, that's a crime.
There was an unpaid parking ticket for $80. So there was a warrant for my arrest out.
You're kidding. So

Speaker 1 they literally took me away in cuffs. I was on a date.
Oh, that we were on a date.

Speaker 2 And you were driving to the Holland Tunnel on a date?

Speaker 1 I lived in Jersey at the time. It was like the 90s.

Speaker 2 And you were going into the city? Oh, it was the 90s. Okay.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It was the 90s. So I was driving into the city and I'm blocking the box.
And yeah, and they

Speaker 2 pulled you over just to give you a ticket for blocking the box.

Speaker 1 And they ran my plates. Oh shit.
You have an unpaid parking ticket. They took me into cuffs.
So my shoes.

Speaker 2 It's so dramatic. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And they, I was like, take off your shoelace. I said, I just got these shoes.
Can you just take the shoes off? I was like, I'm not doing this. I had my picture taken.

Speaker 1 And I was like, I thought, like, I was like.

Speaker 2 But you have a mug child.

Speaker 1 I don't, I can't find it. If anyone can find it, Joey Kamaski, Joseph.

Speaker 2 It predates the internet, maybe.

Speaker 1 It does predate the internet.

Speaker 2 And was it in Jersey or were you in New York state?

Speaker 1 I was. crossing over.

Speaker 2 So which state were you in, technically?

Speaker 1 New Jersey.

Speaker 1 I had intentions on going to this because I was only suspecting.

Speaker 2 But you never made it.

Speaker 1 I never made it. I did make it eventually.
So

Speaker 1 the guy was, they let him drive the car.

Speaker 2 Well, that's what I was going to ask. But they took me in.
On a date, and I haven't been in the dating scene in a while. Like when your partner gets arrested, do you stay with them?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 How many dates had you been on with this man?

Speaker 1 We were just hanging out for a while, maybe a couple of months.

Speaker 2 So like you knew him pretty well. Yeah, yeah.
So he didn't, like, if it was the first date, like, I don't have to come with you to jail, right?

Speaker 1 Like, well, no, what's happened? He had to wait with the car because they took me into the station. Like, there was like, like, behind the holland, behind the Holland Hall.
There was like a

Speaker 1 prison.

Speaker 1 And they put me in there and they took my pictures. And like, they were asking us, and I was, I, I thought I was in there.

Speaker 1 I thought my parents had to like re uh uh refinance the home to get me out of prison.

Speaker 2 It was $80.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 That's insane. So neither time that you were arrested, like you really committed like a major crime.
What's the biggest crime you've ever committed?

Speaker 1 I mean, probably stealing it to self-checkout.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but we've all been there. That's like not a crime.
That's sort of the rite of passage.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I mean,

Speaker 1 I like to pickpock. palette.
I like not pickpocket. I like to like, you know, I'll take

Speaker 1 a cute knife from the table of the restaurant.

Speaker 2 You do? I will. I will steal a pen.
I've never, and actually one time Ben and I stole like a couple of the salad dressing little

Speaker 2 things.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I like cute little things. It's more about the rush today.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And the last time I stole that something, it was at, I know, this taboo, Tao restaurant. They had these little chopstick holders, like a little gypsy.

Speaker 2 Oh, I know those, yeah.

Speaker 1 A gift lady like this. And then you turn it over.
It says, I stole this from Tao.

Speaker 1 I didn't even know that till I got home.

Speaker 2 Got it. You must not be the first person to have stole.

Speaker 1 No, I'm not. And I won't be the last.
I mean, I don't really, again, because of my fear of going to prison. I really don't like to do too many crimes.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you don't mess with that.

Speaker 1 That ring has been bothering me. Where did you get that?

Speaker 2 It's from Ring Concierge.

Speaker 1 I heard about that.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'm a big fan. Maybe they're toasters too.
Would you like something gifted? Yes. And they're also a sponsor of the toast.
So please.

Speaker 1 Ring concierge. I need jewelry.

Speaker 2 Do they make gold jewelry? Yes, they make everything.

Speaker 1 I need jewelry.

Speaker 2 Thank you. Be more specific.

Speaker 1 I would like gold chains. I would like a ring.
I love emeralds. I would love a pendant.
I would love

Speaker 1 anything you're dishing up. Love that.

Speaker 2 Today's episode of The Toast is brought to you by Sacks Fifth Avenue. Clearly, I'm an incredibly fashionable person.
And Sacks said, who do we want to represent us? It's Sacks.

Speaker 2 Jackie and I are big, big fans of Saks. Obviously, being from New York, we know like how iconic and important Sacks Fifth Avenue as an institution is, kind of like Karen Huger's marriage.

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Speaker 2 Also, I find Sachs really helpful in wanting to like stunt on other bitches. I know that doesn't say that in the ad copy, but it is really good for stunting on other bitches.
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Speaker 2 like a new designer that not everyone's wearing yet, like one time I got a Danielle Guizio skirt. And I know you're saying like everyone wears Danielle Guizio.
Yeah, but I got it first.

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Let's talk about ROBAC.

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And don't you feel like everybody's talking about mock necks?

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Thank you, Robek, for sponsoring today's episode.

Speaker 2 Our next story. Kim Kardashian is shocking fans with a bombshell confession about her next career move.
So she's ready to give up her Kim K persona, dot, dot, dot, in 10 years.

Speaker 2 So the reality star was on the Graham Norton show, and she said, I'll be qualified in two weeks. I hope to practice law.
Maybe in 10 years, I think I'll give you a lot of time.

Speaker 1 I'm sure that latex nude bands.

Speaker 2 Yes, yes. Maybe in 10 years, I think I'll give up being Kim K and be a trial lawyer.
That's what I really want. Sure.

Speaker 2 She also hasn't officially passed the bar yet. And you know, everyone's like wanting to know what she's saying.

Speaker 1 I know she's very accolated.

Speaker 2 Like she's extremely accolated.

Speaker 1 She knows all the stuff, but who's going to take her seriously as a lawyer?

Speaker 2 It's like, you know what I mean? Okay, let's say you are blocking the box on the date. I would get arrested.

Speaker 1 I would do it because I know it would be highly publicized. Right, right.
Like anyone who's like, and she knows her shit, but

Speaker 1 I think she's going to have a hard time getting serious

Speaker 2 things. But I think her passion is

Speaker 2 getting people out of jail. That's what she would.
So, I mean, I guess when you're trying to get out of jail, like having the most famous lawyer probably helps. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 Well, it worked for her dad. Yes.

Speaker 2 What do you think about OJ? Did he do it?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think so.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I agree.

Speaker 1 I think the Murdoch did it too.

Speaker 2 I would love for you to host a true crime podcast because you really get into stuff. You were super.

Speaker 2 And by the way, I was following Karen Reed and I found out that she was found not guilty on your TikTok live. Yes.
You love to go live. I love following you.

Speaker 1 I do because it's my one week. I don't like having to, I like just to like press a button and go.
I don't like having to edit and produce and press these buttons. Like I don't know how to do all that.

Speaker 1 You're like, I know how to turn the phone on.

Speaker 2 It's so true.

Speaker 1 I need a jitterbug. How old are you? 47.
46, 46.

Speaker 2 Do you feel 46? No.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 2 Do I look 47? No, not at all. I'm always shocked by your age because I feel like we also like just get along really well.
So

Speaker 2 I feel like I have Benjamin Button syndrome. Yeah, you are aging backwards.
Right.

Speaker 1 Well, thanks to Truck True Teller.

Speaker 2 Yeah, of course. Do you do any procedures, face?

Speaker 1 I do.

Speaker 1 I do do Botox, fillers. I do the fillers.
I go to Face Aesthetics in Westfield, New Jersey to Christina, Injector Stina on my Instagram. I do all that.

Speaker 1 I'm trying to get my teeth, my smile makeover done. I need a teeth done.
I've been Dr. Dr.
Andy Jean Mira. I don't think you should get your teeth done.

Speaker 2 You don't. No, Jackie and I are, we talk a lot about veneers here at the podcast because it seems like you can't be famous if you don't have veneers.

Speaker 2 And Jackie and I feel like the one thing holding us back is that we have our real teeth.

Speaker 1 Almost famous people don't have them. Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 All these people have veneers, every single one.

Speaker 1 Everyone's stream?

Speaker 2 For sure. Oh.
Some of them are better than others, right? Like, Miley Cyrus is so obvious. Like, her teeth are falling out of her face.

Speaker 2 But I don't know. I just feel like your teeth are like in your smiles.
What makes you you?

Speaker 1 I guess so.

Speaker 2 I wouldn't do it, Joey. Okay.
I wouldn't do it. So cancel that.
But Kim Kardashian says she's going to be a lawyer.

Speaker 2 The idea that you would ever like stop being famous, if you watch a show, it's kind of a point of contention between her and Courtney specifically.

Speaker 2 Like Courtney really wants to wind down and be a musician. Courtney's been wound down.
Right. And Kim just like doesn't stop being found.

Speaker 1 She sits her eats those gummy vitamins.

Speaker 2 And do you take Lemmy?

Speaker 1 I have Lemmy. I know that's your friend.
Can I have some Lemmy piece? Simon, put it out there. Simon, thank you.
I need the Lemmy Curb, Lemmy GLP1.

Speaker 2 Yes, by the way, those are actually my.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I need that. I need the Lemmy Sleep.
I heard they knock you the fuck out.

Speaker 2 Lemmy Sleep is part G. Let me tell you something about those Lemmy gummies.

Speaker 1 They're fucking delicious.

Speaker 2 When I was so skinny, like, and I was being really good on my own diet,

Speaker 2 I used to look forward to my morning lemmy'cause I take the hair skin and nails one too, because it's like, it's so delicious tasting.

Speaker 1 and simon also made a um a natural disaster kit that i never got oh you didn't get his natural disaster kit no i didn't get that and i didn't get the candles the sniff candles oh by the way sniff candles instant karma is thank you

Speaker 1 i i'm gonna have to have by the way showers i'm gonna give my address at the end of this

Speaker 1 an encrypted message that only only only vendors can see are you ready for our fifth and final story oh i don't want to go ahead but you don't have to leave and the stories are more so just a vessel for us to before we move on can we talk about kim k real quick because i am going to the louvi this week, next week.

Speaker 2 What do you make of the Louvre heist?

Speaker 1 Well, did you see her with her face covered like she was being robbed with all the same color jewels on?

Speaker 2 So when Kim was... Did you see my TikTok about it? Okay, did you see that? I made a TikTok about it too.

Speaker 2 When Kim was at Paris, she went to trial because the people who robbed her were being like, you know, put on trial. Yes.

Speaker 1 And she looked sick.

Speaker 2 She had her big sunglasses. I bought those sunglasses.
I was so sorry. The Celine sunglasses.
They're a liar. A liar.
Yeah, a liar. And they took about six months to come.
I ordered them.

Speaker 2 I'm like, who bought sunglasses? And then I remembered what I had done. And now my face is like a little too fat for them.

Speaker 2 But I'll get back back to them I do remember that what do you make of the Louvre heist the crown jewels being stolen I'm just saying she had her face covered the night before wearing the same exact color jewels oh yes oh you're talking about something else yes she did she went to a birthday party or whatever no it was the it was academy

Speaker 1 awards academy or something her face had a bag over it and she went over

Speaker 1 i thought that was a that was a fuck you to her i thought when she wore the diamonds and cord it was a fuck you but this was probably like i thought

Speaker 1 am i correct in the statement where she had did they put a pillowcase over her head no she was zip tied but they didn't put anything over her head?

Speaker 2 No, she was wearing a robe. She always tells a story.
She was wearing a robe, and she got zip-tied and thrown in the bathtub with the concierge from downstairs. Got it.

Speaker 1 I thought she was trying to emulate that thing, but like, you know, this is like what happened to me. They heard my jewels, fuck you, and like something like that.

Speaker 1 But then the next day, the very next day, the jewel heist happened.

Speaker 2 And you think she had something to do with it?

Speaker 1 I just think she, and I'm just saying she did it, but maybe it was Caitlin.

Speaker 2 Wasn't the mask when the mask was.

Speaker 2 Definitely Caitlin. Yeah.
If you're the thieves and you have these jewels, you can't really sell them anymore.

Speaker 1 Everyone broke it down. They probably would only get like $200,000 each after they got them apart.

Speaker 1 And they dropped the biggest one. How do you drop a crown? No, and they broke it too.
That's what I'm saying. Wasn't it made of plaster?

Speaker 2 I mean, they're really old. Like, they're from the Napoleonic era.

Speaker 1 If I had to pick Napoleon out in a lineup, I wouldn't know who he was.

Speaker 2 I'm sorry to this man. I completely agree.
I would just, I watch, do you watch The Empress? No. Such a good show.
It's just, it's in a different language. So it's like dubbed English.

Speaker 1 How do you watch it without throwing down?

Speaker 2 It's so annoying. But it's worth it.
And they have Napoleon in there. And and so like that's how i've envisioned napoleon was napoleon gay

Speaker 2 no he had a woman josephine oh

Speaker 2 is it religious is a religious figure or is he was he a political figure no he was like the artist leader i don't know if it's no no not artist france france

Speaker 2 he's like one of the greatest like wartime you're if you were co-hosting with jackie she would be able to tell you do you think if i drop his name at a paris restaurant i'll get a free appetizer yeah i think he's beloved but don't quote me on that i'm not sure should i talk about should i bring up how the francis uh first lady is a man

Speaker 2 oh gee okay great question I'm glad we get that you brought this up there is a conspiracy theory conspiracy theory that

Speaker 2 Jacques what's so his name is Emmanuel Macron Macron and they say like Macron the macaroni macaroon exactly they say that his wife is actually secretly a man yep I saw the pictures I mean I don't know I haven't met her yet but you know they're

Speaker 1 there's crazier things have happened so true um

Speaker 1 Also, any Paris recommendations from the toasters if you know where she should be going. If you have, if anyone owns a villa, they want me to go there, let me know.

Speaker 2 You know, a free champagne tasting. I just feel like whatever fifth and final story I was going to choose isn't worth it.
I'd just rather chat with you, if that's okay. I'd be honored.

Speaker 2 Tell me more, Joey.

Speaker 2 Joey, what are your hopes and dreams?

Speaker 1 Well, I'm hoping to make it to a restroom after this double espresso.

Speaker 2 Of course, that was very brilliant. It's going right through me.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, I'm just hoping for a new light to be lit in my life. I love that.

Speaker 1 A fire. Yes.
To lead the way.

Speaker 2 What's the best gay bar in New York City?

Speaker 1 I would have to say

Speaker 1 Rise. Oh, I don't even know that one.
That's the one I've always afraid of. I affected it.
That's like on 9th Avenue and like 50-something Street.

Speaker 2 Oh, the Gaborhood.

Speaker 1 The Gaborhood. I mean, that's the only one I've really been going to.
I don't even know what's out there anymore. There's so many.
The young Queens have really.

Speaker 2 Right. They've turned it up.
I had to like the monster, even though I was escorted out of there once.

Speaker 1 Oh, that was scary down there. Down there.
The basement.

Speaker 2 Yeah, the basement. The basement.
I've been, I've been. Okay, not me getting kicked out for vaping in the basement.
Like, crazier things happen in the basement than my

Speaker 1 woman.

Speaker 2 1,000.

Speaker 2 They just just wanted me out of there yeah one thousand and then i snuck back in and like i think it was the owner he was like i kicked you out and i was so blackout i was like how long ago is it vaping just since you mentioned like two years ago how did you so no i was actually early on the vaping

Speaker 2 do you vape i do yeah when i'm drunk yeah of course of course um i'm actually like over a year clean from my vape which is really sad you always and you always smoke those tiny shit little thing

Speaker 1 yeah the mangoes what do you what's your uh i like one i like one wine has like a chain on it it's like a purse and it's like this big fucking uh rig it looks like a huge printer.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I want to be able to charge it and like have it because I can't lose it. It's like those little things.

Speaker 1 They don't give me the hit I need.

Speaker 2 That you need, right, right.

Speaker 1 So I like one of the big ones, like the Gaz or Raz or

Speaker 2 the Cloud

Speaker 2 Machine.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 All those. But you're old-fashioned.
You like a cigarette too.

Speaker 1 I would do a real cigarette. A drunk cig is nothing else.

Speaker 2 You only smoke cigs drunk or

Speaker 1 drunk. If I smoked one, yeah, I would shit myself.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's really crazy.
Oh, who's texting you? Oh, sorry.

Speaker 1 My producer.

Speaker 2 Oh, okay, production.

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 1 that's what i say when jackie texts me who's texting my producer producer i'm always impressed by your um your level of production here i do love that you have the ipad and i wonder how you get things on there my ipad case the case i do like from case to fly thank you is it from case to five yeah it is

Speaker 1 um but yeah gay bars i really i haven't been freaking them much i'm much more of a since i have the home i just i just entertain i like dinner party i love a dinner party i love having people over i don't like to leave the house if i don't have to okay dream dinner party table like who's invited oh

Speaker 1 Okay, this is hard. Like, at my house?

Speaker 2 Yeah. Oh, God.
Let's say eight people, including you. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 Dead or alive?

Speaker 1 Well, I'm going to have to say,

Speaker 1 whoo, Nini Leaks.

Speaker 1 Perfect choice. She's going to be there.
She's going to host with me, co-host.

Speaker 1 Nini Leaks, I would want...

Speaker 1 This is a hard question. I know.
I don't even know. Oh, Alex Kansani.
Okay. I would love her to be there.

Speaker 1 She's like my new favorite obsession yeah you and everybody else um i would invite someone who like really knows food like and as a chef like a hot chef that can help us cook maybe like um do you think bobby flay is hot yeah i'll bring him over okay four robbie flay

Speaker 1 um

Speaker 2 i'm never the slow i'm never the slow we need someone like to bring the laughs like somebody like energy like a comedian someone on drugs okay or someone on drugs oh comedian okay yeah yeah yeah okay now we'll get there.

Speaker 1 Um, I would have um Jesse Kearson. I love her.
She's my fucking idol. I love her.
She is the best. If you don't know who she is, look up Jessica Kearson.

Speaker 1 She's the funniest comedian alive, dead, anything, any time of the life. I agree.
She's really funny. Oh my God.
Jesse Kearson would be there.

Speaker 1 I would need

Speaker 1 someone for, now we need diversity. We need to have the

Speaker 1 girls, the gays, and the vase.

Speaker 1 I would need someone transgender. I have a transgender already.
Okay.

Speaker 2 Perhaps a Jew.

Speaker 1 Oh, I don't know any Jewish people who host a weekly podcast.

Speaker 1 I would invite you. You better.
Yes. Sitting right here.
And I have to bring your husband too because he'll bring your appetizer.

Speaker 2 Seven. Give me one more.

Speaker 1 And then the last one, last and certainly not least, would be

Speaker 1 Gypsy Rose. She's friends with you.
I was so mad when you got her. I was so upset.

Speaker 2 I know. I think about my career and like

Speaker 2 my career and like peaks and dallies in my career. And like, I don't think enough about how like impactful that was

Speaker 2 for the community. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It really was. I mean, I was so happy for you, but but at the same time, I was like, that should have been me.

Speaker 2 And I knew that it wasn't gonna last with her and that freak. Yeah,

Speaker 2 same Ryan, yeah, and now she has another man's baby. Yeah, me and Gypsy were pregnant at the same time together.
We're kind of close. Are you done having babies? No, how many did you want?

Speaker 1 Is Jackie done?

Speaker 2 Um, I don't think so.

Speaker 1 What's the count on the Austrian sisters? How much does Olivia have?

Speaker 2 Olivia has two. Jackie's god willing, god willing, about to have three.
Oh, she has two already, Jackie. Yes, yes,

Speaker 2 and I have one.

Speaker 2 How many

Speaker 1 How many do you want?

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 2 in a dreamland,

Speaker 2 five.

Speaker 1 Five?

Speaker 2 In practicality, like, oh, I have to be the one to carry.

Speaker 1 Do you have time for all that?

Speaker 2 Right.

Speaker 1 And that's saying, would you have, would you, if you like, vain reasons or not, are just convenience.

Speaker 2 It's just like, it's physically hard. Yeah.
Like, would you do a

Speaker 2 probably have three, but I would like to have five.

Speaker 1 Are the Jewish people allowed to have surrogates?

Speaker 2 Yeah, of course. Oh, I didn't know that.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 They just can't eat meat and cheese at the same time.

Speaker 2 Correct. Very confusing.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Who would your people be?

Speaker 2 Okay, if I'm having a dinner party.

Speaker 2 So obviously I'll be there. Obviously, you'll be there.
Joan Rivers will be there.

Speaker 2 Oh, I forgot about Joan. Luke Homes will be there.
Oh.

Speaker 2 Jane Lynch will be there.

Speaker 1 I heard she was misgendered on the show the other day.

Speaker 2 I was misgendered on the show yesterday, and I have to tell you, she slid into my DMs. Did she? I swear to God.

Speaker 1 So Jane's watching.

Speaker 2 Jane is watching. And I sent her a message actually before the toast.
I was like, wait, do you want to come on? Let's see what she says.

Speaker 2 I happen to fucking love Jane Lynch.

Speaker 1 That's the a show fame.

Speaker 2 It's so funny.

Speaker 2 I'm actually dying for her to come on the podcast.

Speaker 2 I cannot believe she saw that clip. I wanted to die.

Speaker 2 I'm so jealous. Not Margo embarrassing me.
If she comes on, you can come and like pretend. You can sit behind the desk, pretend to be like me.

Speaker 1 I know I'm dressed like Sue.

Speaker 1 Sue Lester.

Speaker 2 You know what I track Sue? Yeah. So yeah, Jane Lynch is going to be invited to my dinner party.

Speaker 2 Who do I love? Like, who's my fave?

Speaker 2 Minnie Kaitling. Oh, yes.
I can't believe you didn't want RuPaul at your dinner party. Oh, right.
I feel like Rue's like a fun,

Speaker 2 a fun time.

Speaker 1 He doesn't drink, though. Oh.
Not that you have to drink.

Speaker 2 No, of course not.

Speaker 1 Have you had a drink yet?

Speaker 2 I have, of course. Yeah.
Don't worry about me.

Speaker 1 Where are you? Like, can you go out? Have you had to go out to dinner at all since then? Or any hot new restaurants I need to know about?

Speaker 2 Because I'm trying to get free restaurants as well. I'm so the worst person to ask.
I don't leave my house. Me either.

Speaker 2 Well.

Speaker 2 We'll try again next time. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I um

Speaker 1 always say.

Speaker 2 I was going to wrap up, but you say. anything anything else you want to say? Anything else you want to say? Yes, please send help.

Speaker 1 You know, I'm just trying to get it to my next, I'm just trying to from point A to point B and it happened. That all starts with you.
It all is.

Speaker 1 I'm going to ride with them fur blankets, wearing a neck full of jewels, sniffing candles with a with a

Speaker 2 lemmy coming out of your ass.

Speaker 2 Joey, it's been an absolute pleasure. Where can people find you?

Speaker 1 You follow me at Joey Camasta everywhere. Joey Camasta on TikTok.

Speaker 2 I know your old username.

Speaker 1 Mr. P79.
Oh, I miss him. I know.
And you're like, and then I think you're the one who told me to change it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it makes no sense. Jackie did it first.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It was like, who is Jackie O Problems? Right. Now it's Jackie Oshre.

Speaker 2 And Justin Sylvester, the lady sitter,

Speaker 2 he changed. Did he? Now he's Justin A.
Sylvester. It looks like Justina Sylvester.

Speaker 1 I love him.

Speaker 1 Yes, at Joey Camasta on Instagram. Please follow me.
I don't have nearly enough followers to make the kind of money I'm looking to do.

Speaker 1 TikTok at joey.comasta. Not the doc.

Speaker 1 And then, yeah, just anywhere. I live in New York.
If you want to come see me. Yeah, come to my house.
Yeah, but I'll be back. There's going to be a long pregnancy.

Speaker 2 I told Joey that he has to come back because I sell a bunch of open dates in November and December, and people love you. So I would love for you to come back.

Speaker 1 Well, I'll just come out. Hopefully no one falls sick.

Speaker 2 Hopefully nobody gets stabbed in the street by a man with hair transplants. I know.
We'll see. On their way to the terse.
I know.

Speaker 1 Well, hopefully, I had a good showing yesterday.

Speaker 2 You crushed.

Speaker 1 The girls are very similar. They're tough.

Speaker 2 They're a tough crowd, but they love you always. You were the number one most requested.
And I will say, when Jackie, we were planning maternity leave, you were the first person I texted. Thank you.

Speaker 2 I love you. I love you.
Thank you guys so much for listening to the Toast and Landing Morning Show where we delivered the fastest stories you need to know from anything for everyone YouTube.

Speaker 2 So you're watching us on YouTube. Please feel free to subscribe and give us a thumbs up.
We're also available as podcasts and our podcasts we found. So let's Spotify Tunisia public video.

Speaker 2 I read a cast box, all the places and podcasts found us to toss the fast story about a beautiful sounding and wickedly talented we are.

Speaker 1 Love ya. Papa's Trisha pay us.
Yes, she used to do that.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. Well, Turtle, Turtle's been doing it.
Turtle's been doing it.

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