In Lieu of Flowers, Send Cameos: Tuesday, March 25th, 2025

I sound amazing. Welcome back to The Toast and happy Tuesday.
I'm honored and humbled to be sitting down with one of the nicest kids in town. That's right.
It's Jackie O, my co-host, my sister, Queen, but also recipient of a Nikki Blonsky cameo as of, you know, 1030 a.m. this morning.
Good morning good morning turdia every day's like a blurdia you know that it's like literally killing me inside that you're the one who got a nikki blonski cameo and like my direct correlation to nikki blonski is the correlation that's going viral considering like you've always had such a warm place in your heart for Nikki and Tracy. More so Tracy.
And is it killing you that like Bruno got a shout out from Nikki Blonsky? Like Nikki Blonsky knows Bru. I don't want to be rude, but like basically, you know, Shannon Ford, you know, influencer, comedian, fellow podcaster on the Toast News Network.
She listens to the Toast like a good friend should, you know.

And she thought it would be funny to get Jax a cameo from Nikki Blonsky.

More than that, she stayed at my house last week and she was going to send me flowers as a thank you.

And in lieu of flowers, she got me a cameo from Nikki Blonsky.

So it wasn't just like, should I get Jax or Claude a cameo?

I think they think it's funny.

And of course, and I don't want to like, of course, yuck.

No, but like I earned my gift. I feel like I'm a good friend to Shannon too, you know, in other ways.
Yeah, and maybe she'll get you a gift. She gave you that ring that one time.
I feel like you're still dining on that. I do.
I wear it all the time except my jewelry no longer fits. But I was deserving of a gift for my hospitality.
No, and I hate to make like your gift about me, you know, but I just wanted to say- But there's no reason why I got it. Of course, of course, of course, of course.
I am the one. That would be like me getting a cameo for Meghan Markle, you know? Yeah.
No, it would actually be like me getting a cameo. This is the exact similarity of that actor who was in The Bold Type and is like in all your favorite shows that gets canceled.
Richard Page. Of course you know his name.
Like that's the equivalent of like a lifelong obsession. Yeah, no, but it'd also be like you getting a cameo from like Kelly Clarkson.
Like we're both so obsessed, but if we have to go back to the Genesis, like I am more obsessed. But if you got a cameo from Kelly, like you met Kelly, like, I mean, I'm just, you know, you know i would just be happy for you is all yeah we're different people and that's okay um now i know one of your least favorite things actually is receiving cameos you find it but clenchingly awkward so walk me through the experience of you receiving this cameo so yes i have said multiple times like receiving a cameo is a horrible experience i wouldn't wish it on me on my worst enemy let me tell you nikki blonski has a way with cameo i didn't want to end i was hanging on her every word i was like what's she gonna say next what did shannon prompt her with next it was as it was i had the experience that you should have when receiving a cameo so maybe it was just like the people in the past that i got cameos from they were the wrong people and it takes a special type of person like i guess i won't say like who I got it from that just like made me why I don't know Damon John like I just I didn't want a cameo from him yeah yeah that's someone else like he might work well for someone else it was just like it was just too much it wasn't a match it wasn't a match this was really a match and so I'm happy that the whole like cameo business operation like isn't built on butt clenchingly painful videos.
Well, we also it was I like that Shannon got a cameo, obviously, because it's funny and whatever. But we also get a little bit of inside scoop on Nikki's business right now.
Like it's kind of everyone's dream. Your cameos blowing up Like that's just encouraging more people like Shannon.

Shannon can't be the only one who in the last week decided to book a cameo from Nikki Blondsey.

Shannon said she turned it around in three hours.

She's still charging $100, which Nikki, if you are watching this, you need to up your price.

I wonder what Shannon would have paid.

Like what's the most she would have paid?

Shannon's like an extravagant person.

Yeah.

So she's not a good example.

But like somebody who's doing this for the shtick.

What's the most amount of money in this economy you would pay for like a sticky video? I feel like 250. Yeah, she could definitely double.
I just want to say, I think that other people are taking note of like the virality of cameos and trying to capitalize it. And I do need to call out Tom Sandoval for being like extremely cringe right now.
He's posting all of his cameos on TikTok and they're like skits with sunglasses and stuff. And he's like trying to make a moment.
He's like seeing it's happening to Nikki. And when you're in this line of work, like you get out what you put into cameo.
You have to promote it. You have to do well.
You have to make meaningful videos in order for the business to grow. It's not just like this automatic thing.
So I need him to calm down a little bit, like let Nikki have her moment. I'm telling you, I think he's feeling threatened.
threatened yeah I guess a cameo from Tom Sandoval could be funny perhaps at a point in time right now I don't think it would be funny I got you out of nowhere if I got you a cameo from Tom Sandoval please don't it was like turdy and the most extras no please don't I think I wonder what he charges to punish you no but like actually please don't i want to I just might just to punish you.

No, but like,

actually, please don't.

I want to know what he charges.

I want to see Turdy

and the Most Extras up there

shaking that bang.

I am going to start a band,

Turdy and the Most Extras,

because it's kind of a good name.

It is kind of a good name.

Tom Sandoval on Cameo

is charging $200.

Like, why is he charging more

than Nikki Blonsky right now?

Yeah, who charges the most? By the way, your rate is fluid. you can you can always go up go down it's supply and demand okay I'll tell you so the okay the number one booked on cameo right now is Nikki Blonsky you're lying I swear the number two is James Buckley he's an actor from the office in betweeners I've never seen him before It's always the office people who make all the money on Cameo.

Number three is LeVar Ball.

Who is that?

It says he's the CEO of Big Baller Brand.

I think he's a basketball guy.

Cool.

Number four is Tom Sandoval.

Wow.

So it's his marketing is working.

Number five is Brilliantly Dumb, the creator of Bob Does Sports.

I actually don't know most of these people.

You know what the shame is? The shame is that we would crush it on cameo yeah um we would crush it on cameo i've been on cameo before and i was i i did uh get a lot of inbounds um but i'm trying to find who the most expensive person is for my mental health and so i had to take a back seat is the most expensive on Cameo? I feel like for a while it was Bethany Frankel. I feel like it's that guy from The Office.
Brian Baumgartner. Yep, him.
He plays Kevin from The Office. I don't believe he's on it anymore.
But we did, I remember reporting on it, he ended up sharing that he made a million dollars one year on Cameo. So he bought his house and he moved on with his life like if we did cameo for a year like maybe we could go in together for a lake house or something yeah yeah these all these like um compilations are like the most expensive they're a little outdated but for a while it was um Caitlyn Jenner $2,500 damn but was she getting booked that much? I'm sure she was getting booked, but it's like- You only need one instead of 10.
What's the gap between, instead of 25 for Nikki Blonsky? Well, yeah, Nikki Blonsky. Floyd Mayweather also for a while.
Now, the prices are old and these are all outdated, but Bethany, like the names that are being floated around, Bethany, Mr. Wonderful, a lot of the sharks were on it.
Yeah I know Luanne like the housewives do really well on cameo that's a part that's really a great gift yes Floyd Mayweather $15,000 was the last most expensive person but I feel like at some point it gets confusing when really wealthy people are on cameo but if you're doing it for $15,000 to do a two minute video make $15,000 in two minutes like that makes sense I just feel like $15,000 is like not worth two minutes of Floyd Mayweather's time. I don't know why.
I feel like he's that rich. But what do I know? Maybe.
But I don't know. You could just like get a jet ski in two minutes.
You could get a jet ski in two minutes. Maybe I'll go on Cameo for $15,000 and maybe it will be better for my mental health.
Yeah, I'll go on Cameo and I'll make it like 100 grand. See if anybody will pay it.
You can just make it up. Yeah.
Yeah, it would be a lot. But then it's like, I don't know.
It's a funny thing, Cameo. I'm glad that it's in our lives.
I'm glad that we're talking about it. It provides like endless fodder.
Like viral Cameos. Like, I'm sorry, Happy Chanuka is going to be my favorite Cameo of all of all time Smokey Robinson I mean that's like one of the things that made like the biggest drama on the Real Housewives of New York remember like that woman Elise with the bangs what about she was like saying stuff about someone I don't remember like they're always making news also I think conceptually as a business's quite brilliant.
I believe that they are a publicly traded company.

I think they crush

it. I believe so as well.

There's not even another company that does

the same thing. No.

They could never. How much

revenue do you think they do in a year? Oh my god.

What? This is from 2020.

I guess because it was like

the perfect gift and the only way people were

making money on COVID.

But in 2020, they did $100 million in gross revenue.

I feel like they still do that.

It's such an easy gift.

They were once valued at a billion dollars.

And now this article is saying as of eight months ago, they can't pay a $600,000 fine.

I just feel like that's not true.

Mickey Blonsky probably gets like 600 books bookings a day right wow the guys who started chemi are actually really smart i feel

like that's something we would have started like yeah it's just like a like a simple but really

brilliant concept yeah everyone wins yeah and today you win today i win nikki wins bruno wins

bruno got a shout out so did your party loaf so did my party loaf i should send her a loaf

Thank you. and today you win today i win nikki wins bruno wins bruno got a shout out so did your party loaf so did my party loaf i should send her a loaf she did in her cameo request your recipe she did i don't think she could handle it i just don't feel like she has like the patience to make sourdough to be honest like i actually see a lot of myself in nikki blonski and we are both not the elk of pargy loaf makers no especially not without like self-rising yeast right being a mother to a sourdough starter is a full-time job especially in the beginning and with all of her travels and right bookings West Virginia like you've got to be home to feed your starter correct so I'll send her a loaf that's very generous I wonder if she'll see that like we posted her cameo and that we're big fans I know she like does a lot of work on social media and that's what this whole like Nikki Blonsky renaissance is about I do feel like she's not of this world though do you know what I mean like she's not really in touch I feel like we need her on the toast right this minute in such a desperate way and what And what's annoying is that I'm sure every podcast is like reaching.
You think so funny.

Text the team.

Let's see if we can do it.

Isn't she a Long Island girl?

I believe she lives in New Jersey.

We'll go out there.

We'll take.

We will.

We'll take the path.

Can we reach out to Nikki Blonsky about coming on the podcast?

Immediately.

Like tomorrow.

Immediately. ASAP.
By end of week. since Jackie's coming to town yeah exactly that's why we would do it nicest kids in town like those are the sort of guests we need yeah and so what I was gonna say is like I'm sure every podcast is like clamoring to have I think by the way not even just putting Nikki Blonsky in our title yesterday our episode is so outperforming she's so the zeitgeist right now.
And what's annoying is like we're now competing with millions of other shows when a year ago nobody would have wanted. You've always been talking about her.
Right. Nobody would have wanted Nikki a year ago.
We want her just as much now as we wanted her then. Yeah.
Maybe even a little less now just because she's so popular and we're such like anti-culture. Trendsetters.
Yeah. Yeah.
Is it a story that Meghan Markle has joined an affiliate link program? No affiliate link program no it's not okay good i don't want it to be but i do need to briefly talk about it like you i think become like really um obsessed with random megan markle things and like this is my obsession with my random megan markle obsession of the day when i saw that she joined an affiliate program that i'm familiar with it's called shop by it'sK. It's just different.
I know a bunch of girls who use it. It's just a program that pays you.
Yeah. She may as well have joined LTK.
I feel like people, like the streets know LTK more than ShopMy because ShopMy is new. And for those who don't know, if you're like a creator, anyone with a platform and you want to like link your shirt but make a little bit of money off of every shirt you sell it's called an affiliate link and there are these companies like ltk shop my our style they um facilitate that for you they help you create links that are commissionable and you can like track them and stuff so you create little stores with all your little things like an amazon storefront type of thing and uh megan announced yesterday being like i saw so many people asking like for my clothes recommendations and like links and stuff so i made a little shop on ShopMai and she linked it.
And I don't know if to everybody it was the biggest deal in the world. When I tell you I had to sit for 10 minutes and think about it, I could not get over it.
Having a ShopMai or any sort of affiliate store is such a regular thing to do. And like this is a person who was on the balcony at Buckingham Palace, you know, right? I don't know if I'll ever get over it.
Of all the things she's done since Megxit, this to me is the most shocking. Yes.
Yeah, and it's not like she did a little story. Like, she's got a lot of products linked.
And let me tell you, it's not for nothing. Like, I actually, that was one of my thoughts from the show is like I love her vibe her aesthetic like the clothes are very pargy when she even said like her pants are from Zara I was like I know she's probably not pillaging Zara there's like somebody who does that for her but her whole aesthetic is actually really beautiful and like it should be shoppable and so it's not a bad idea it's just like it's a crazy is it it's just like very pedestrian it is the great it's the craziest thing yeah but i i don't know i'm no longer really shocked by her like she is an influencer she has a podcast she posts instagram stories and her thumb is covering the camera lens like it's not even like ballerina farm i don't know i guess up until this ballerina Farm meets Britney Spears.
I guess I thought everything up until this point that she did that was quote unquote like pedestrian, like having a podcast. Anyone can have one.
It's all been done with like the right partners. You know, she had this big Spotify partnership.
So it's always been like, yeah, she's doing things that everybody else is doing, but at a much higher operating level. Yeah.
And now it's like, well, no, we all log into our shopmy.com and like, you know, make a link. The way that you feel about her shopmy is like more akin to how I felt when she was posting those Instagram stories, like running around the backyard, like nuttiness.
Yeah, I guess. And there wasn't a third party for it.
And it's not premium and it's not curated and it's like very regular. Yeah.
I guess the difference is that like all people high and low, like post on social media, maybe not at the level that she she does not royals but like even in america when you think of the most famous people like they all share stuff right but they don't all have affiliate links like i it's really crazy yeah well did you buy anything no i'm not in like a phase of my life where i am things. But I have thought that like this summer when I'm just like looking to relax and, you know, wear baggy clothes that are summery, I will be shopping at shopmy.com slash Megan.
Okay. So she's providing a service.
One thousand percent. Because I don't think I'll be buying her jams.
I'm not like a, I like Smuckers and Bon Mama Like I'm all good On Jam I also feel like

Maybe she got paid

To be on the platform

Oh that would be good

I think so

I think we just also

Like always assume

Stuff like that about her

Because it's like

Otherwise why would she do it

But wouldn't there be

Like a big press announcement

Like Shopmai announces

Partnership with Brand Ambassador

Because everything she does

Is more elevated

Yeah no

Not a brand ambassador

But a rogue Instagram story

Yeah

I don't know

I feel like maybe

She's gotten like

A good deal with them

I hope

Thank you. yeah no not a rogue instagram story yeah i don't know i feel like maybe she's gotten like a good deal with them i hope i hope as well well it seems like she's having fun in this content creation phase of her life and at this point like bring back the tig what like actually why not if there's i know because i guess a blog is another name i know it's true and she should have included she should have included the TIG from the very beginning.
And like With Love as ever should have always been like the same name, whichever one she wanted to go with. Like the With Love Jams and the With Love Show.
I just want to say like a jam company called The TIG, that kind of makes sense. Like The Fig.
The Fig TIG. Yeah.
I agree. There's too much going on and it's been mismanaged from the beginning.
But at this point, like she an affiliate link, so there's really nothing off limits. Like, bring your blog back.
Yeah. Well, we need recipes.
We do. Right.
No, but she can't bring in the name The Tig. I'm sorry.
It's too late. Yeah, I agree.
With love, blog. With love, Tig.
These names. She is having fun.
And so are we because today's Tuesday, which is an important day in Toast Herstory. It's Dear Toasters Tuesday, at the end of today's episode we have dear toasters our weekly advice segment so make sure to stick around for that um we actually have a crazy one i actually meant to ask you like if we should talk about it subject matter drugs i feel like we don't like do a lot of drugs like you know it's a it's a bit of the white stuff okay i mean yeah let's see where it goes but you know us we're others against drugs we are mothers against drugs but you know i try not to be judgmental and against drunk driving i'm a mad you are i'm mad about that i should join mad your local chapter yeah i love that yeah so you'll hear from a bunch of narcs.
Yeah. But you did write into us.
So you know who we are. It's true.
You were looking for a different show. It's true.
You were looking for a very specific type of advice if you're writing to us about this. So we'll talk about it.
So you'll get it. So now without further ado, it is time for the Fast Five Stories that you need to know.
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Our first story, Garcelle is leaving Real Housewives of Beverly Hills after five seasons. So Garcelle posted a video this morning saying that she's leaving Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
She announced on Instagram that she is departing the hit reality TV show. After five seasons.
To focus on her family and other projects she has lined up. So she shared a video to her Instagram.
She looked parjay. Yeah.
Spelling out the reasons why she's leaving. Thanking everyone who has been a part of the journey.
The fans. The crew.
The wives themselves. She said that she's leaving to focus on her kids.
It's their last year of high school coming up and she wants to be there for that she also has a lot of work stuff coming up that she's really excited about and so she is leaving the housewives she did say like andy said she can come back anytime and so who knows could be a see you later but she's out for now yeah i feel like um housewives when they leave like always for the most part as long as they part on good terms like, even if they've been fired, like allows them to say like, I'm leaving and making it seem like it's their choice. I do think with Garcelle, it was her choice.
I don't see a reason why she would be fired. She's an excellent housewife.
I agree. And why would she be fired in the middle of the season? We haven't even seen how things shake out.
How do the fans feel about her? How does the reunion go? I don't think she was fired. I think she's think she's really leaving me too um I I'm shocked by this I feel like it's been actually really good for her career outside of being a reality star like as you know she produces an axe and a lot of like content she's like I think a big production deal with um lifetime so I'm shocked because I think a lot of her like recent success within the industry just has to do with her overall star rising from this show and it's been actually impressive for I don't know a lot of housewives who have done what she did with her housewife success usually it's a little bit more like you know front-facing club appearances like I'm a model whereas like she has a production company and like actually built something really sustainable which I think is really smart um maybe she's just not enjoying it anymore you know yeah i do feel like there's a reason that she's not saying not like something big and bad but i i don't i don't know it just didn't feel like compelling enough like she's always been busy and she always has a lot of work so like it's really been now too much that she can't do housewives and then to be there for her kids in high school they're less it's so weird yeah i just feel like also there's more of a feeling that she might have that she's just not sharing like whether it is she's tired or she's over it or maybe her career stuff is more than ever I I just like I don't know I just feel like there might be a little more to it yeah I have questions for sure also did you see that Bose is on Jimmy Fallon tonight no yes I Yes, I saw a clip.
I was shocked. That's so crazy.
It is. For like a housewife to be on a late night show like is a really big deal, especially by themselves.
I feel like sometimes they'll do like two together. Like I know like Dorit and Kyle went on like Kelly Clarkson, which is daytime, a little bit different, but it still feels like a little out of their scope.
And so for it to be Bose by herself, I love. I was shocked.
She's having a good season and we really like her, but it's not like the name on everybody's lips in the whole world is Bo's. Like it's been with some other housewives in their first seasons.
But it's also not like Beverly Hills is having a particularly like high rated year. Like I feel like it's actually one of their slowest worst seasons.
People aren't really talking about it. Right.
Except for us. Right.
I feel like it would make more sense like when Salt Lake City was on I feel like it was really impacting like the zeitgeist if like Heather Gay had been on. Yeah.
So I found that kind of crazy. I'm very here for it but just an interesting thing to note.
Yeah. Very interesting.
I would welcome Garcelle back. I'm sad to see her go.
I think she's a great housewife. I think whether you like her or dislike her in terms of the actual drama, she's a very good housewife.
She has like said things that needed to be said. She's very direct.
She has an interesting life, her personal life, like with her kids. Always, you know, I'm added to some off camera drama.
Then the Vanderpump rules of it all. So she really did.
She did a great job. I would say a job well done.
She will be missed. Thank be missed thank you for your service yeah i agree she's not been my favorite housewife recently i'm find myself always like actually opposed to her but not for one second was i like i don't want her on the show i mean she's good at her job to make a show like you're gonna have people you agree with and disagree with and and i i enjoyed her so this will be a loss i wonder who they'll replace though.
That's always exciting. I don't know if they need a replacement, but I do think Beverly Hills needs, like, a little bit of a something.
Yeah, I think they should bring back someone. I don't know that we need someone, like, brand new.
They should bring back Denise. Now's the time, because one, Denise is, like, having a successful spinoff, which, like, always puts the other women in a weird, in a weird like position two she's kind of been talked about a lot when it comes to like how terrible they were to her about her sexuality and now that's a big question with Kyle like I do think that would shake things up but I feel like Denise would only want to come back with Garcelle there and it would be more it would be better with Denise and Garcelle that's true oh I would, I would have loved that.
I forgot that they have like an alliance.

She's like the only one in the group

that Denise still likes.

Yeah, maybe like Jennifer Tilly

will become full-time

because Sutton's going to need a friend.

Yeah, I don't know if that just feels

like we'd be getting the same season,

but like a little different, you know?

Yeah, or they bring back someone else.

Bring back Eileen Davidson.

Stop being so afraid.

Yeah, even though I don't think Teddy's at a place right now where she can really like shake up a show. Right.
But they're always talking about her. She's friends with all of the ladies still.
She has a really successful podcast. I don't think they can like talk about her now in the way that they have been up until this point.
You know what I mean? Yeah. Well, you know, she's going through maybe in better times.
But there are plenty of people who are still in the mix. Cam Camille Grammer not that that's who I want to see no please please right but I think that would be better right now than finding someone new new yeah LVP she would never but I am ready I'm ready or honestly Lisa Rinna yeah because I feel like that was one of those people it's not fair to take out Garcelle for Lisa Rinna because then like you're stacking one side.
Oh, yeah. But the thing is like I find the Sutton sides, like I find it, I think like the fact that this season is broken down, but like Sutton versus everyone is what makes the season bad.
She's not a worthy adversary and she's not like an interesting person. Yeah.
So like I'm ready for something totally i don't know if lisa rin would like be the balance that we need but i'm open i'm open i also don't think she would do it yeah i don't know she's like on the one hand she'd probably be like yeah i'm better off since i left housewives but on the other hand i feel like she's kind of shameless and is like okay a check let's get paid. Yeah.
Yeah. Let's get to work.
Correct. Let's roll up our sleeves.
Maybe. It'll be interesting.
Mm hmm. Our next story, a little more housewives news.
Teresa Giudice and her husband, Luis Ruelas, hit with three million dollars in tax liens. So according to records obtained by People, the Real Housewives of New Jersey star Teresa and her husband, Louie, have been hit with over $3 million in tax liens, with Teresa owing $303,000 and Louis owing nearly $2.6 million.
This comes three months after Louis was issued another lien for $160,000 in December, which the New Jersey courts website show is still an open case. Now, this is not a shock because it does feel like Therese is very much like the Dorit of the East Coast, like the finances, especially with Louis, like don't really add up.
I know she does very well as a reality star and, you know, a celebrity, but it doesn't match up with the house and the lifestyle and the Jets Greece. Having said that, it is shocking that somebody like a grown woman would find themselves in a situation like this, not once, but twice.
And the first time, you know, I really was like, it's through no fault of her own. Right.
Like he so clearly you watch those early seasons. She was such a stereotype of like the woman who has no idea what's going on in her husband's business and, and just signs stuff because he brought home paperwork for her to sign.
And it's very trusting. But now I'm like, well, at what point are we going to put some personal accountability? Because I do think Louie like is a shady business person.
And every time he's been asked, like since his inception on the show about his business, remember he got fired. He worked for he took a company public.
Like there's been so many like weird things about his his business I do believe that like if they have found themselves in trouble it's his fault yeah but how many times can a person find themselves here again but it's like I really just think it's more so having learned nothing from the first situation not like Teresa has low-key been like a con woman this whole time like no I don't think so either but at what point do we assign personal accountability to this person i feel like the accountability like is insanity that like you know what i mean like if this was like in court like she wouldn't be tried because she insanity by reason of insanity yeah because she's doing the same thing over like not asking questions yeah shutting down anyone who has anything to say when all of the signs point towards and it's not because like she's like yeah louie steal that money she's just insane and like so such a good point a hopeless romantic naive like to the point of being insane yeah and you know what not that i wish you know money issues on anyone but this is something when it comes to the future of the franchise they've been in Jersey, like in a state of limbo for a while. It's like Melissa, Teresa.
And I actually think another criminal go around for Teresa like really helps. Well, so here- Because it's going to be one of those things you can't bring up.
Yeah. And then like a Jackie Goldschneider is going to bring it up.
Well, not her. Well, not Jackie, but you know what I mean? Like that was what she did last time.
And that makes for interesting TV. Yeah.
You know, Teresa like is not going to, she won't leave the show because she feels like it's hers and not Melissa's. So like maybe a normal person who wouldn't want to talk about this wouldn't be on the show, but she's like, we said, but I just want to say like for her, she owes 300 K.
I feel like she could pay that cameo. Yeah, like, she'll take a couple brand deals.
She can pay that off quickly. I'm actually not worried about that.
So Louis owes about $2.8 million, which I just want to say, to his credit, also means that he's earned, like, $10 million, right? Well, are they saying it's 2.8 in unpaid taxes? Some of that is like penalties and fines and interest from the last... Tax lien.
What's that? I don't know what a lien is. I actually don't know.
Hold on. Let me Google that.
It's actually a good question. Because, yeah, you're right.
It would indicate like high earning... Of course, plus penalties.
But like if we're in the millions, like you have to make millions to owe millions. A tax lien is a legal claim by the government against a property where the owner fails to pay taxes owed.

It can apply to real estate, personal property, or financial assets.

A tax lien does not immediately result in the government seizing the property,

but it gives them the right to do so if the debt remains unpaid.

So it's not really clear what it's from.

It's just a debt to the government.

Okay, it could be property tax.

It could be income tax.

It could be all sorts of tax.

I know they can put a lien on your house, but I don't know what that necessarily means. Is it a tax lien on your house? Tell me what a tax lien is as if I'm an idiot.
Alright. By the way, thank you.
Imagine you owe the government money because you didn't pay your taxes. Instead of just letting it slide, the government puts a big red flag on something you own,

like your house or your car, saying you can't sell or refinance this until you pay it back.

Pay us back.

That's a tax lien.

It's their way of making sure that they get their money.

If you don't pay up, they might eventually take your stuff or let someone else buy the

right to collect from you.

Got it.

Okay, so he didn't pay taxes, and they've put a tax lien on, did they say what it was? They didn't say. Got it.
Okay. So just on themselves.
Yourselves. But so anyways, like, of course, pay your taxes, Louis, but you've got to make millions to owe millions.
So he's obviously making money, but just pay your taxes. And it also feels like they don't have like a proper financial advisor.
Like this, I feel like Teresa's could have been the sort of situation where she underpaid, like she meant to pay her taxes. At the same time as he, as him.
She's probably using his person who sucks. I think that you're like simplifying it a little too much.
Like it's a little idealistic. I'm simplifying Teresa's.
I don't know how you accidentally don't pay $2.8 million in taxes. I'm simplifying Teresa's to say like it could have been an accounting era because she uses his accountants because she's an insane person who still trusts her husband, even though there's numerous red flags.
Yeah, she's. Yeah, yeah.
That's what I'm saying. I just saw this and like I didn't even feel bad for her.
Like the whole. I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? No, it's so crazy.
Grow up. Yeah.
Get a different a different business manager keep maybe separate from Louise I just know she's using Louise no or she's using the same guy because when she that guy James when she was going to prison they had like this lawyer slash publicist slash assistant who does everything for them and he was there putting her in prison and there when she when she got out, he would pick her up, drive her to Joe. And I feel like he is still actively involved in their finances.
And somehow this is his fault. But she didn't have tax issues since the time she left Joe Giudice to the time she married Louie.
So like when she was going- Right when you get out of prison, you're always going to behave, you know? But a couple of years later. But then you're like assigning malice to her.

No, I'm not.

I'm not.

No, you're right.

I don't think that she knows any better.

But at some point, like a 50-year-old mother of four, like I do expect more from you.

Yeah.

Hopefully she could pay this off swiftly.

You just don't want this sort of stuff hanging over your head.

And hopefully he could pay it off even though he didn't pay off $160,000 in So it doesn't bode well for the 2.8. Right.
But this does bode well for the Real Housewives of New York, Jersey, excuse me, in terms of plot lines because this is interesting. Yeah.
Well, they were supposed to, according to that one rumor we both saw, that Judice Lurellas were going to get their own show. Which is not as interesting when you have a tax drama.
I need the other women involved. And watching a bunch of crazy people be crazy.
No, you need the balance of normalcy. No, not only that.
If you have your own show and you're going through this big tax scandal, who's around to challenge you on that? We just have to believe you. It's paid.
Yeah, right. Louis, let i need i need the margaret josephs of the world to to air the dirty laundry yeah she'll be on the new jersey courts website seeing if the case is still open they say she's actually rumored to be on the upcoming season of traitors they're casting it right now some other names floating around were tiffany pollard fab margaret josephs dorinda medley should beinda, wasn't she just on it? Yes, they say she might be on it again.
Please, no. I was thinking about watching the next season.
No, I know. Let me tell you who else I saw.
It's all like rumored to be, and it was like Twitter. What shows are we watching? I was thinking someone should be on it.
White Lotus? No, no, no. Someone from like Real Housewives.
Oh, Mary Cosby, NeNe Leakes, Margaret Josephs, and Ava Marcel will reportedly be a part of Traders season four. And what about from the young shows like Summer House, Southern Charm? That was just the one rumor that came.
Sheena should be on Traders. That's who I was thinking.
Give it to Sheena. Yeah.
I think she'll be terrible at the game, even though I don't know what the game is. Yeah.
But maybe she'll be like so bad that like it actually results, you know, when people think you're bluffing, but you're actually right. You don't know what you're doing.
Right. I feel like she deserves it.
Bravo is definitely ripe with people who would do well on that show, even though they try to not only do Bravo, they do like CBS shows shows and who the fart is dylan efron zach efron's brother but like what else has he done the shows he was filled with he was brothers you know he was um born from the same womb as zach that's it um no i believe you know he had like a career before that of like you know smaller projects and I just want to say like I'm enjoying everything that he's doing. Spoiler alert, one Traders along with 10 other people.
And he's been doing like a lot of press. And like I think he's like so cute and hysterical and I enjoy him.
But like before Traders, who is he other than Zac Efron's brother? Who was Dylan Efron in this world before that before that i'm not sure i feel like maybe he was on claims of fame or something you know like that jonas brother show so again zach efron's brother i'm just gonna google it like i feel like maybe he's like in what did dylan efron do before traitors he's an influencer producer and production coordinator. Okay, so he's Zac Efron's brother.
He worked as a producer on American Sniper, Live by Night, The Accountant, and Ready Player One. In addition to his behind-the-scenes work, he ventured into content creation and producing.
Okay, so yeah, he is like an influencer. Yeah, so as we thought, he was like a classic celebrity sibling.
Hold on, did Dylan Efron date Stella Hudgens? That's a question here. No way.
That would be so cute if they dated while they dated. It's too idealistic.
It won't let me click it. We'll never know.
Hangs in the balance. Our next story, someone else's something will make sense in a second vittoria chiaretti girlfriend of leonardo dicaprio does not like being called girlfriend of leonardo dicaprio so vittoria hold the c chiaretti hates being labeled as leo's girlfriend she uh gave an interview to vogue france and said as soon as you're in a relationship with someone who has a larger following than you, you become girlfriend of or boyfriend of, for that matter.
And that can be extremely annoying, she said. Suddenly, people are talking about you as so-and-so's girlfriend who is so-and-so's ex.
She said, so it's not nice to think that you can't love whoever you want because of the labels people need to stick on you. She also spoke candidly being in a relationship with leo um she said if if you know you love each other then there's no reason to be alarmed because love protects and gives confidence okay like i just i can't imagine a world where like we actually couldn't call someone who's dating like Leonardo DiCaprio where we couldn't mention that like that's Leo's girlfriend.
Like it's just like factually germane to the story. I don't even have a thought on like what she said.
Like I don't care. Like she's like desperate to be a victim.
Oh my God. Yeah.
Because the way she you were just reading that it sounded like it was coming from somebody who's been like deeply marginalized. Like you're literally a model on the cover of Vogue and your boyfriend's Leonardo DiCaprio.
I don't want to hear about your problems. And to be honest, I have officially, like post Cami Marone, I have stopped caring about Leonardo DiCaprio's personal life, his romantic life, the girls that he dates.
Like to me, she was kind of the end all be all. He got away with a lot up until then, but then it's you know what she was kind of perfect and if they were going to work out great after that like I actually don't give a fuck but I also just feel like anyone who and well this is like a separate thing of just about like Leo and like you know his age cap and that he never wants to get married he never wants to settle down like at this point anyone who enters into a relationship with him like when he breaks up with you for turning 26 we're not going feel sorry because like that's what like that it's so clear she's almost like preempting us to feel sorry for her in this article and I just want to say like in no world will I ever feel bad for you but I just I also want to say I remember when we watched Victoria's Secret fashion show she was someone who I saw and I didn't know who she was and I thought she was so fantastic and.
And then I was like, Victoria. And then we figured out that she's his new girlfriend.
And so I didn't notice her outside of being Leo's girlfriend. Okay, that's great.
But now you're also Leo's girlfriend. I don't think it was.
She kind of has a chip. She does have a chip.
Which is, I'm finding annoying. Maybe other people find it annoying when we have a chip.
like she's a chip on her shoulder and i don't know maybe it's just like the classic trope of like models like wanting to be under like we don't feel bad for you you're a model you're in vogue you date leonardo di caprio try as you may to sound like a victim in your in your interview like we don't care yeah imagine how dylan ef Efron feels. Imagine how I feel, okay? Like, always being my sister, you mean? Oh, that's what you were saying.
Imagine how Dylan Efron feels. Yeah, of course.
Like, literally, we struggle to identify him as anything other than Zac Efron's brother. And look, he's enjoying his life.
And that's not a joke for him. Yeah, he seems happy and fulfilled.
Yeah, like, get over it. It's not a terrible thing.
At least you're known. Okay.
Like some of us would kill for it to be known as something. To be in the Victoria's Secret fashion show.
Yeah. No, and I'm sorry.
You don't get all the way to Vogue by being someone's girlfriend. Like maybe it helps, but like she sounds kind of insecure.
Like, girl, you're on the cover of Vogue, France, which is like a good one. Sometimes they make up like Vogues in random countries.
Like I'm on the cover of vogue france which is like a good one sometimes they make up like vogues in random countries like i'm on the cover of vogue timbuktu okay like you know what i mean but like certain vogues are really like vogue france british vogue like they carry a lot of weight they're almost as one that anyone can buy that like it's like i feel like it's been on like reality show where someone's like i'm on the cover of oh i think in miami Vogue cover you because it's like if you're on it like anyone I feel like it's been on like a reality show where someone's like, I'm on the cover of, oh, I think in Miami.

Vogue cover, because it's like, if you're on it, like anyone can just buy it.

Okay, let's hear.

I'm on my way.

Hold on.

I feel like it was in Miami, like Larsa Pippen was on the cover of it.

I feel like I know what it is, but I don't want to say it unless I know it's right.

Okay, wait one second.

I'm having a hard time.

Like, Vogue cover. Let me search Larsa.
Yeah, I was going to say. Let me test my theory.
I'm not sure that that's what it was, but that's what I feel like it was. No, she's not been on the cover of Vogue, unfortunately.
Or what was this? Harper's Bazaar? Oh, maybe it's not. Maybe it's Harper's Bazaar.
Wait. vietnam yeah oh i wasn't gonna say that but like sure sure sure so if you want to be on the cover of harper's bizarre you know i think there's a way to have a little faith in herself victoria i know she seems like a cool girl this is just not the vibe that i like i feel like this was like a talking point that she worked on with her team and it's like we're gonna be like women empowerment we're not just someone's girlfriend it didn't come off like that it came off a sad sack yeah but I think she I think she meant for this to be like an empowering moment for women like I'm not just someone's girlfriend I will not just be like you know tied to my partner're not.
Okay, sure. But that's also a part of your story.
Okay, okay. Like, whatever she wants you to think, I'll think.
Like, okay. Okay.
Are you ready for our next story? Four? Oh, yeah, number four. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Someone's fiance has been deleted. I don't know if you've seen this, but the internet's in a tizzy because Cindy Sweeney has deleted a kissing photo with her fiance, Jonathan Devino.
And it's actually really weird. So in my mind, these two are like, have been broken up.
She's feeling breakup rumors from her fiance after she deleted a photo of them kissing from her New Year's Eve Instagram carousel. So yeah, new feature on Instagram is where you can put up a carousel and then instead of deleting the whole thing to take out one photo, you can just take one photo yeah and do they let you add a photo yet that would be cool that is coming for sure but anyways worse than just deleting a picture from her grid maybe it like didn't serve her whatever maybe her the flow is changing she went into her carousel from January and deleted a picture of them kissing that's weird my chore did she delete like all traces of him off her social media or just this one there's like a group photo of him in this carousel but a picture of them kissing has been deleted maybe she was like about to start clearing him from her social and did the first one and then was like whatever this is immature because I don't see a world in which this makes sense otherwise and of course like this big story here is like Sydney Sweeney deleted kissing boyfriend right but what I want to know is who discovered this and like what are you doing with your life that you have remember that the picture is in the carousel you went all the way back to check if it's still there no that's a really good point and I feel like there's actually no way to know that this is true that's also true well they do have the picture here oh they have like those you want to know who discovered it sydney sweeney daily even if you commit your whole life like to making a fan page of someone like i still think this is really crazy to have noticed.
I think so too.

But OK, but I'm no longer doubting that it's it's validity.

Yeah.

Like the picture is here on Sydney Sweeney fans.

I see what Sydney Sweeney fans has done there.

And now it's not there.

And they must they must go back every day to check if it's still there.

But I guess if you're on like Sydney Sweeney watch and you know that there's rumors, then check to see if she's deleting stuff it's kind of your job to keep people abreast on that I'm gonna choose to believe that like the reason why she did this was because she was like gonna start something and then was like just forget it you know because some people there is like a divide people what do you think when you break up with like a long-term partner clearing them from your social media or just like leaving it it's supposed to be like the timeline of your life and this is what your life was like for that year. I think you leave it until your next relationship and then archive it.
I don't think you need to break up and then go and start deleting stuff. It's like, for what? I've never had to like do that.
I don't know. But I do imagine like it would feel weird to like have a boyfriend all over your page who's not actively your boyfriend anymore.
I would focus more on posting fresh new stuff so that the boyfriend moves down. It also is different when you are a public person who people go to your profile to look at.
Yes, but also like if you're a regular person, you want to meet someone and you have a boyfriend all over your page, they might think you have a boyfriend. Of course, yes.
So maybe like archive like some of the recent just so that like people can see that you're single yeah but I don't think you need to be like removing photos out of like spite or hatred like it's part of the fabric of your life so right as long as you're keeping your profile updated and it's not stopping you from meeting the next person I think it's totally fine to leave some stuff up and this is like kind of you know celebrities always when they're like starting new eras, they're like clearing their social media. I feel like they do that.
One, of course, like be dramatic. But two, then they never really have to deal with like old relationship things because they clear.
Do celebrities clear their Instagram like once every two years? That's like a relationship timeline. Yeah.
I believe these two are broken

up and as you guys know I'm extremely here for it.

Right. So stay tuned

for the official announcement.

She's booked and busy. Euphoria is like back

allegedly filming.

So I think it'd be good for her to dive into a new project you know.

Yeah. One door closes

another one opens. Are you ready for

our fifth and final story? If it's our fifth and final story that's brought to you perchance by home chef yes home chef my favorite i know i don't know why i said it like that i do love home chef makes me feel like a chef at home i do love home chef so meal kits often market themselves as an easy meal prep solution but they really do disappoint with complicated overlong recipes that are not worth your effort. But fortunately, Home Chef knows that struggle, and they deliver fresh, delicious meal kits that respect your time.
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You're welcome. Our fifth and final story, things are actually getting worse for Jamie King.
She's speaking out. No.
What's so funny is I see this story nowhere, so I'm so glad you're constantly keeping me abreast on it because it's actually devastating. And it's something I'm interested in.
I don't see major coverage of. Yeah.
Well, also, I saw last week that they're reporting her and Taylor are not like friends at the moment. They haven't been close in a while, even though Taylor is the godmother.
Yikes. I know we were curious.
But anyway, she's speaking out after being forced out of her L pad for owing more than 42 000 in back rent oh no now she doesn't have a place to live yeah so as page six says taylor swift's longtime friend jamie king god they're so annoying the cover photo is a picture of her and taylor swift maybe they worry people don't care enough about jamie king like without the taylor swift connection but like an actress. Maybe like a younger Dembo only knows her in reference to Taylor.
Like I see her and I think of Heart of Dixie. I think some of our you know beloved Gen X listeners see her and think of Pearl Harbor.
Millennials. White chicks.
And then our Gen Z listeners see her and think Taylor Swift's friend. Yeah well she's broken her silence after being forced out of her la home for owing more than 42 000 in back rent after her landlord locked her out of the property just days after she lost custody of her two sons she told us weekly over the weekend quote the situation with my landlord landlord was resolved privately it's disappointing but not surprising to see someone try to exploit this moment for attention i I'm currently focused on what matters most, my children.

Just a week ago, the Sun reported that she was forced out of her LA home

after accumulating 42K in back rent.

Per the documents obtained by Us Weekly,

she had been living at the $10,145 a month Hollywood Hills pad

since April 2023, but had stopped paying rent in January.

Her landlord said she was forced to lock, oh, it was a woman.

She was forced to, I don't know why, it was just. Yeah, and a landlord evicting you gives to lock King out of the rental property pending payment claiming that the actress had been maliciously remaining at the residence.
However, Jamie's attorney has since denied the allegation saying she had been taking acting jobs to pay off the back rent. It's just one of those situations where like you think you've hit rock bottom like you lose custody of your kids and like how could it possibly get worse and look here it is getting worse.
Yeah and clearly like in this moment she's going through it like it's not like right I'm sure things have been ongoing but like you know there's highs and lows and this seems to be a low like she was paying her rent up until January and now she's not paying her rent and she doesn't have custody of her kids but then I also saw an update the other day she posted like a selfie with I think she like had an outing with her kids and she like posted like a smiling picture with them I just feel like she's really focused on the wrong things right now like just like taking pictures with your kids sending a statement to us weekly about your rent. Like, I understand.

Like, I care about what other people think, of course.

But when you've hit such a low in your life and you've actually lost custody of your kids,

the fact that it seems like a priority to manage the press,

when this really can and should be handled totally privately,

it feels like an odd priority.

Yeah.

No, get your house in order. Right.
And then write a book like everybody else, you know? Yeah. And I'm sure she's been a child actress.
Like, I'm sure she's been through a lot. But right now, I agree with you.
Like, find a place to live. Like, not the direct statement to Us Weekly.
It's not like it's, you know, the New York Times. Right.
Like, focus on spending time with your kids. like time with your kids ignore us right like don't make it like you have only a set amount of time with your kids stop taking selfies like and and connect yeah especially when like what's come out is so egregious like no smiling selfies just gonna like change what i've read right right right a memoir might right later on once itself.
Yeah, but like, it's not something you could just put a band-aid on. No.
But things you might be able to put a band-aid on are some of our Dear Toaster submissions. So if you guys don't know, maybe.
Every Tuesday, Jackie and I do Dear Toasters, our weekly advice segment, where we read three submissions from Swirlies in Need. They reach out to us, you know, through all different stages of life,

marriage, wedding, relationships, you know,

you can talk to us about anything.

We're really open books.

And I think you'll see that today.

So thank you to everyone who wrote in in advance

for your openness and your transparency.

Oh, and if you want to write in,

deartosters at gmail.com is the email address,

or you can head over to our website,

thetoastpodcast.com.

Scroll down, little submission box.

Both methods of communication are completely anonymous. Okay.
Hey, girly swirlies. I've been dating my boyfriend for about a year.
He's been great. I'm 25.
He is 27. He's a wonderful, hardworking man.
We've really leaned on each other this past year. One issue.
He works in a prison and I understand this job can be brutal and uncomfortable at times, but he continuously talks about how unfair it is that the pregnant women that work there get lighter duty shifts, meaning earlier posts in the jail, like you get to sit at the front desk for your shift, like you just get like lighter loads. He didn't get an easier shift when he broke his leg, and like this is his Roman Empire.
He keeps saying he'll never understand since I don't, he keeps saying I'll never understand since I don't work there, but it's actually giving me the ick. Makes me never want to have a child with him if this is how he views breaking your leg and being pregnant at the same time.
It's, is this immaturity he will grow out of or is this a serious red flag that he has no respect for women carrying children? Please help. I'm a concerned, I'm concerned, I'm concerned XO, a fellow girly who would like to have a few babies.

She has a typo. I'm concerned, period.
XO. Oh, no, I'm concerned, period.
XO, a fellow girly who would like to have a few babies one day. I understand.
So I think it could really easily be either like immature until you go through it or your partner goes through it. You have no idea like what the woman's body goes through.
Obviously, these female prison guards are just being so amazing in their pregnancies

that you don't even realize how much they're going through it um or it's just like a complete lack of sensitivity and this is a red flag i know because obviously like they're getting to sit at the front desk because you know being on your feet all day is a tough job but also you know there is a level of risk with being like a prison And if you're carrying a baby, you want to minimize that risk. So, you know, putting them in solitary with the crazies, like that's also not good.
So the fact that he can't see that, like it's a little concerning for sure. I don't think he like hates pregnant women.
He might just be like selfish and immature 100%. I need to know more about the relationship.
Like, is he generally a selfish person? Is he selfish and immature in other areas? Mm-hmm. That that's only something you can really evaluate I can't believe someone could see a

pregnant prison guard and think anything and like want to give them more work yeah and then like

make it about themselves and their broken leg yeah sounds like a baby so it does really sound

like immaturity it does however it's not a good look no but I do often think even like myself

Like,

Thank you. Maybe.
Yeah. So it does really sound like immaturity.
It does. However.
It's not a good look. No, but I do often think, even like myself, like maybe things I used to think or say about like a pregnant person.
I remember actually the first time I ever, ever got like any sort of backlash online before I really had even a platform. I was at a doctor's office and there was like a person like breastfeeding like right in front of me.
And I remember tweeting like people who breastfeed in public. Like, can you not? Oh my God.
Like the breastfeeding association of America. Like everybody, like I got like so canceled for this dumb tweet.
And now like, now that's something I vehemently disagree with. Like whip a titty out, whip a titty out.
Like I love it. I want to see more.
Oh, in a doctor's office, it's actually a great place to do it. It might not have been a doctor's office.
It was like a waiting room for something. Maybe a doctor, but I feel like no.
Regardless, that's something I vehemently disagree with now. Like I'm learned and more evolved than that.
So it's entirely possible that like you just really don't get these things when it pertains to like motherhood and whatever until you experience it yourself or you know someone who does. Yeah, I really do feel that way.
And I think doubly so for men, even when their partner's going through it, like it takes them a minute to get it. Yes, I actually just read a study that like most men, most partners like really don't connect with the baby in utero.
And that's like totally normal not to be like, you know, some men like wanna lay on your belly and talk to the baby. And like, if they don't, like that's okay.
That doesn't make them a bad partner. It's almost virtually impossible for them to biologically connect until the baby is earthside.
Yeah, their lives don't change at all until you have a baby. Yeah, maybe they got to get you a few extra sodas.
But that's how your life's changing. I actually remember the conversation I had with Ben when he realized his life would not have to change at all.
When we were first having having the conversations about like starting to try and I was like talking about how I need to get off of Zempik and I need to go to like all these things I needed to do before we could really even start. And it's like okay and like what do I need to do? And I was like nothing.
A lot of nothing. He was like wait like I really don't have to do anything different.
I'm like no. Yeah.
And he was like I could see like he didn't want to like rub it in my face he was just like that's great well now there is this initiative i've been seeing a lot of reels in my algorithm of like men getting into the best shape they possibly could before they inseminate you yes yes because a lot of your um health during pregnancy just like how you feel is directly correlated to the health of the sperm and the male the male partner and like the sperm quality is affected by their lifestyle choices and yes it affects your pregnancy but it also could affect your ability to get pregnant so like people are now of course now the movement is like men should spend 10 months getting into the best shape of their lives and then you spent and working hard eating right working out and then you spend 10 months being pregnant so that kind of like balances the scales not at all because they're becoming like slender september but it's something i also saw tiktok that i've been thinking a lot about recently um and this girl was like i feel like we talk about like pretty privilege we talk about skinny privilege we talk about like all these different privileges but we really don't talk about like partner privilege and what that means to like live a life and like build a family with somebody who's like an actual partner and now of course there's partner privilege like It's a privilege to have a partner in general as opposed to not having one. But there's also a difference between having a partner and a partner who actually contributes and helps and is an equal, if not more, load-bearing individual.
And so when you're thinking about who you're going to have kids with, it's actually really true. You have to have pretty considerable standards for yourself in terms of what you want your your future to look like so i feel like you're not being dramatic to the girl who's writing in about like being concerned about it but it could be nothing yeah but is it partner like if it's something that you can choose right and everyone has the same more or less maybe okay maybe privilege isn't the right word but i knew what she was it is, like, it's an important thing to think about who your partner is.
And it will change the quality of your life and your experiences. When you think about the struggles of the first year of having a baby, right? Like, the difference in, A, doing it alone, B, doing it with a partner who sucks, and C, doing it with, like, an equal 50-50 as much as it can be 50-50.
A 50-50 husband, like, it's not even a different a different like it's not even a question how different that those three things are yeah and it is a privilege the third yeah but it's also choices right no it's also something you hopefully can control now of course some people pull the wool over your eyes well yeah though that's the most evil. So if you feel like this guy in other areas is not a selfish person, this is just him being immature, maybe he doesn't know anyone who's had a baby, you're okay.
He could have a pass. But maybe keep an eye out.
Yeah. Alright, next up.
Oh, this one was really crazy and weird, okay. Hi Jackie and Claudia.
Lately my husband has gotten very into SPH. Do you know what that is, Jackie? No.
It's small penis humiliation. And I don't know how to handle it.
Out of nowhere, he started asking me to roast him. Like, we'll be watching TV and he'll randomly go, babe, tell me it's tiny.
At first, I just ignored it. I thought he was joking.
But he's literally not. He wants this.
He keeps bringing it up.

Yes.

And now it's all I can think about.

And here's where it gets worse.

I think he's gotten in my head because I swear I never thought his penis was small before.

He's a little less than five inches hard, which I also thought like always was fine.

But now I'm not so sure.

The other day he got out of the shower and I saw it.

It was like a two inch turtle retreating into its shell.

I really just squinted and now I can't unsee it.

And honestly, I think I'm feeling it too. Like, is it just me? Do I not feel as full as I used to when we're intimate? Is this some kind of mind trick? Was I blissfully unaware this whole time? I feel like I've just been pilled into a new reality and I don't know how to go back.
So now I'm stuck. I do want to give him what he wants, but I don't even know where to start.
Do I casually drop comments throughout the day? Do I go full Regina George and roast him? Or do I just start agreeing with him and watch his entire world crumble? Sincerely, a confused but now convinced wife. What? Well, honestly, it sounds like you guys are a match made in heaven because he wants to be humiliated in being told he has a small penis and you actually think he has a small penis.
So it sounds like you're the only woman who can really give him what he wants. I feel like you need to tell him that you didn't know he had a small penis until he's now making so much of it.
yeah okay I have to be honest I don't understand like anything about this me neither and I want to say something about penis size if I may I know we don't really talk about this but don't worry I'm not gonna get graphic I'm I'm sad I feel like we have like this fixation on like penis size um no of course I'm not talking not talking about people who are like, you know, born with micro penises or like the opposite. Extremes.
You're not talking about the extremes. I'm talking about like a penis.
You know, a penis is what you make it. It's also like the connection and the person.
And like, I know I feel like I'm like, I sound like Ben has the tiniest penis. Like that's like I'm making.
And I'm not. I swear to God.
But I see people like, especially like especially like dating people or you sound like someone like he has a big penis so you can't relate to the issues of women with a small penis and you're like that's fine I promise that's not what I'm saying but like I see a lot of people talking about this like on podcasts and influencers who do like dating and sex and relationships and there's this like fixation on penis size where it's like I don't know I feel like it's a little bit of shallow it's almost like like how I feel about looks, right? Everybody is good looking if you love them, you know? Yeah, and I also feel like if you're monogamous and you're in a relationship with someone for a long time, especially if you're married, it's not like you're seeing other penises. This one's bigger.
Yours is small compared to its big. Like, that's just your penis.
That's the one that you have. What is five inches? Is that like a...
I definitely have a tape measure five inches is small like do you think you're kidding oh measure your phone okay like how many inches is your phone let's get to work ladies why the fuck do you have a tape measure because we did so many renovations and i was measuring bringing up my computer okay my phone oh my gosh is six oh okay so a little bit smaller than your phone yeah like yeah I see I see if you're measuring from the bottom go up to where the time is on your phone oh like the bottom of the eight of 11 38 yeah like the bottom of your phone again then 11 38 okay i mean that's really small it is but it's not not workable and it's like well how big is your vagina well that's the other thing. I feel like there is a penis for every vagina.

I completely agree.

And if you, like, do you have a tight, small, little vagina?

Then it sounds like you guys are a match between heaven.

And I just think there are other, like, I don't know, a big penis is, like, so lazy.

Again, I really sound like I'm married to somebody with a micropenis.

But, like, oh, what, you have a big penis.

You don't have to work as hard.

Like, I just feel like, let's say your man has a small penis.

I feel like people don't talk about the downsides of BDE.

Like lazy, hubris.

Yeah, hubris.

I don't even know what that means, but for sure.

Like cocky.

Yeah, no, but I also mean when it comes to intimacy,

you don't feel like you have to do anything

because you got this big penis.

Yeah.

A big penis can only do so much.

Somebody with an average size penis really has to work a little bit harder okay i see that's five that's five that's not that's not great but have back to this girl's issue i feel like my issue is not your problem here no it's sph yeah that's i don't want to kink shame, of course. They're not kinky.
They're watching TV. I feel like there's something deeper going on with him psychologically that maybe we should explore.
Yeah. And it has nothing to do with you.
And you're kind of letting his psychosis get to you because you're like thinking and feeling and differently. And I couldn't do it.
Like if I were you, I couldn't do it. And all of a sudden I have to be a comedian roasting you coming up with these zingers about your penis like excuse me like I work full time I'm busy going on so you're like you don't need this on your plate unless you were enjoying it no and she's not and that's weird like his this is fine you know it's the SPH that's an issue.

Oh, I guess I didn't choose the one about drugs.

Do you want to see any other measurements?

Because what's the standard that they say?

Doesn't everyone say they have eight?

I feel like... That's the joke.

Let me ask...

Hold on.

Ask Google Gemini.

What's the average size penis in America? The average size erect penis in the U.S. is five and a half to six inches in length.
Then also you have to consider girth. They say four and a half to five inches in girth.
So our roast of five was nothing. Wait, you just need to show your man this.
He has an average size penis.

Sorry to break it.

She said, by the way, it's under five.

So maybe he's like an inch under.

But still, you're just above the average.

Like you're what, 40th percentile?

Like sorry, you're not special.

And are people really measuring their penises?

I feel like it's something that...

You do in like high school?

Yeah, you do once and you know you're...

So like doesn't everyone joke that they have eight though?

Isn't that...

I guess that's why it's funny.

because that's like yeah that's like a piece of salami we should teach sex ed we should i would just say to this girl like i wouldn't do anything you're not comfortable with break up with him they're married um our third and final is not the one I thought I chose the drug one maybe I decided not to it's basically this girl like texted her co-worker like asking where she could get some blow and she texted the wrong co-worker and she had like a pit about it and then she texted the right co-worker and the right co-worker was like sorry I don't do that and I just wanted to tell her like no shame like have fun but like if you're texting your co-workers for drugs you're a problem. You're texting two of them.
Right. But that's not the one I, I guess I did just do it, but we're not doing it.
Yeah. Hey, swirlies, my fiance is a p-jom.
He's starting to give me the major ics, though. Last time we got into a fight, he slapped himself in the face and said, you're so stupid to himself.
Oh, my God. To be clear, this was not done in a joking manner.
His face was bright red and he was dead serious. It was very weird and it gave me a weird feeling and I almost want to end it.
Help. I just want to say this is one of the situations where I feel like we're always talking about like it culture.
This is not an ick. Ick is like when you see somebody, you know, wearing a backpack and it makes them look weird.
Like this is actually alarming behavior. Um, like self-harm it's fucking weird that right to be put off weird now like i it's hard to really end your life and start a new one over like something someone did over two seconds it's a window though into potentially need to like really look at the really like was everything else perfect like i just feel like and he never did this before this feels like something that's like definitely a trauma response yeah i also think people who do this like maybe do other weird concerning things like is there anything else to this girl that comes to mind yeah but i don't i don't know someone i don't know what makes someone do this but i maybe it's like as a little kid they were like abused like and every time they do something wrong they like hit them I don't know so there's something you should bring it up to him if you're having trouble figuring out like what you want to do about it you should be like when you did this the other day like what is that what is that I come from like that really worried oh that's good yeah we could talk about it now.
I guess like normalize talking to your partner.

I guess.

But sometimes somebody does something so weird.

Like you just have to leave.

There's nothing that needs to be said.

Yeah, like I've seen what I needed to see and I need to never see you again.

Because like what this guy did, like I feel sorry for him.

I don't know why that's my – Because it's not like he went and he hit you.

Like I feel sorry for him. And it's maybe indicative of like a deeper issue he deserves care yeah he needs like nurturing at this moment not abandonment however you got to look out for number one but even if you're gonna leave him and look out for number one give him a conversation like because maybe then he'll realize like oh i have all these things going on i wasn't ready for a relationship i need to work on myself like i have a lot of things that i need to unpack and work through what are you telling me like that thing you did like it really scared me what is that yeah i think we could just like talk directly don't be judgmental be like that was really weird of you no just be like that don we have done.
No, no, no. That's why we do it here.

Yeah, we get it out.

Get out our judgment so that you can handle it.

Put your best foot forward and just be like.

I just.

It made me sad and worried for you.

Like, where does that come from?

Like, why do you do that?

I just didn't realize people do this like outside of SVU.

Do you know what I mean?

It's such a thing you do in the interrogation room.

Yeah, like stupid.

Like I didn't.

Yeah, banging your head against the wall.

Yeah, it's not 100%. No, it's self harm yeah it's like a child's response is it i don't like hit i don't know you're so stupid i don't know no it's it's a mental ill thing.
No, I'm good.

What kind of person?

I don't want to know.

Just talk to him.

Something therapy can fix.

Or like, bada bing, bada boom.

Yeah, it seems like a textbook case.

For a therapist.

This is a job for her. But I don't know what the textbook is called,

but I know there is a book about it.

A hundred percent.

Guys, that's our show. Thank you to everybody who wrote into Dear Toasters and everybody who listened to the end of this episode.
I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you enjoyed listening to it as much as we enjoyed making it.
And Jackie's measuring what? 12. That's insane.
Yeah. Like, I honestly, I think I'd rather have a micropenis.
Right. Yeah.
Because that's pain. But the vagina is adjustable.
I mean, that's true. Yeah.
So, but you want to have a baby every night. No.
Thank you guys so much. Listening to the Toast on Monday morning show.
We should talk about penises more. Like we're so funny.
We are so funny. Like an untapped conversation for us.
I know if we ever, but not too much. Really too much really like it's no jack and i are like again when it's once in a while but just know if the show ever becomes like overtly sexual all the time it means we've officially run out of things to talk about yeah we're desperate yeah lonely women thank you so much for listening to the test of the morning morning show we deliver the fast-paced stories you need to every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

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