Death Bed Gamers | Triforce #323

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Alrighty, then.

Hello, everyone.

Welcome to the Triforce Podcast.

Just to open with an alrighty, then

alrighty, then.

That's well.

How

How do we do neighbors?

I have these things in the back of my brain.

Sometimes they pop out.

I can't control it.

Fair enough.

We are a product of our environment.

How are you doing, everyone?

How you doing?

All right.

Yeah, good.

You know?

Oh, I'm just eating a banana, so if one of you can

top that.

Jeez, I don't know if I can, actually.

Take over.

Have I moaned about Glenn Powell yet?

No.

Are you sure?

I'm pretty sure.

It doesn't ring any bells.

All right.

is that, yes, that's the good-looking man who's taken over as

the generic front man of movies.

So Glenn Powell, first of all, I guess he's good-looking.

He looks like his face is AI generic.

He looks like an attractive AI man.

It looks like the AI has said this is what people like.

The bottom half of his face, the permanently stumbled bit, looks like that meme Chad guy that, you know, they use where it's a sort of super ridiculous looking Uber Chad with the ridiculous jewel.

That's him.

Then his eyes are dead when he smiles.

He just has those dead celebrity eyes.

Now, he's 36, but if you look at him, he could play late 20s or late 40s.

There's really no way of knowing.

So, he's a very everyman-looking guy.

Yeah.

Why is he in everything?

I'm just looking at to see what he's been in, and he's been in anyone but you, Twisters, Hitman, Top Gun Maverick, The Running Man 2025, Set It It Up 2018.

So while you say he's been in everything, I have not seen a single one of these films.

Right, but you don't watch movies, do you?

Well, I watch some, you know, like I watch, I try to watch the good ones, you know.

I've never even heard of most of these.

And when you hear about someone, someone says something and then you hear about it, or you see one thing and you happen to watch him and then you notice him.

That's all.

It's like, like Nina said to me yesterday, oh, have you been shrimping?

Like, which is when you're like sat at your PC, like a shrimp, right?

Um, and I was like, Oh, I've never heard that before.

And then I heard it like four times.

Other people said it the same day, shrimping, even though I clearly had heard it before.

I've never heard that before in my life.

Well, now you're going to hear it.

Your daughter's going to be like, Oh, I'm just shrimping, or whatever.

Does it mean that your back is curved and you're hunched over the computer?

I think so, yes, like a shrimp.

I see.

Like a problem.

So, I know that you're saying you haven't seen these, but let's just look.

He was in a film.

This film is called The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society.

Yes, I was just looking at that.

that.

No one in the entire world has seen that movie or heard of it.

It vanished.

Historical romance

takes place, I guess, in Guernsey.

Set it up.

Nobody's heard of that movie either.

It's a dead movie.

Then he's in Apollo 10 and a half, some fucking kids movie voiceover.

Then he's in Top Gun Maverick, which was a huge movie.

Then he's in Devotion, which was another big movie.

Hitman, which is entirely him.

And it was quite a big movie.

Well, like, promoted.

It was all over the place on Netflix.

She co-wrote and produced Hitman, apparently right which is what the and then anyone but you with sydney sweeney she's so hot right now the blue angels another flying movie it was also going to be quite a big movie twisters was a big comeback movie running man the new running man and then an untitled jj abrams film this guy timothy chalamay i understand right

sydney sweeney was in um the white lotus the first uh yeah she was the one of those teenage girls in the first uh she's been in my dreams oh Sidney Sweeney.

She's in all stuff.

She's good.

I've never seen her in anything else but that.

That was the first time I've seen her, I think.

She is fantastic for many reasons.

Right.

She's a great actor.

I didn't realize that they made that they're redoing.

I didn't realize that they redid Twister and called it Twister.

Yeah.

And I also didn't realize that they were redoing the Running Man.

They just redo everything now.

It's insane.

It's true.

But I will say...

It's always been the way.

But when you say I haven't seen him in anything, that's because I feel like when you're like, I didn't know they made a Twisters sequel.

I'm like, okay.

I don't really watch movies.

Yeah, you don't really watch movies.

Have you seen the trailer for Superman?

No.

What?

There's a new Superman?

I'm such a buster.

It's James Gunn's directing it.

Oh, okay.

I mean, I hated all the other Superman movies, so I kind of don't care.

But let me have a look at this trailer.

It kind of looks good.

18 hours.

I saw the trailer.

There's like seven different bad guys in it.

There's like, there's like, I don't understand what's the, what the, I think the movie might be

like Superman doing like an interview with Lois Lane, but then it cuts back into like, because it's got his origin story.

It's got like him like meeting different people.

It's got him like...

fighting in the war.

Do you know what I mean?

It's like, there's like, there's loads of stuff where it's kind of crazy

back and forth.

I see.

So it's got.

Hold on a sec.

This is interesting.

He's been arrested by like other heroes.

Yeah.

I'm just looking here.

But one of the guys he's been arrested by was also one of the baddies who worked for Spectre in the Marvel movies.

I know.

He's like a generic bad guy.

That's him.

I don't know the actor's name.

You'd know him if you saw him.

Do you want to hear the lucky movie?

Do you want to hear a couple of personal factoids about Glenn Powell?

Yeah, go on then.

It's really quick.

He just doesn't seem very interesting.

No, he's not.

Powell is a licensed pilot.

Did you know this?

Well, he's been in three flying-based movies.

Yes, Tom Cruise, his co-star in Top Gun Maverick, paid for him to attend flight school.

Fucking

wow, that's a really good.

He's also declared himself a die-hard fan of the Texas Longhorns.

Why are you telling us this stuff?

What are you talking about?

Because it's just a conversation, isn't it?

Yeah.

And did you know in 2024, he relocated from Los Angeles back to his hometown of Austin, Texas.

Austin.

Good grief.

Grief.

The most mundane fact.

There you go.

Those are all of the personal facts about Glenn Powell.

There's a picture of him

Cinema Con this year, 2025.

With his dead-eyed smile, AI plastic face.

I fucking hate him.

I hate him.

So, so, so you say this is all they're doing, right?

Who?

But it's

like remaking movies.

Right.

Right.

But what I say to you is like,

who is your Superman?

Yeah.

It's Cavill.

It was the best.

Christopher Reeve was the original, and I think he was fantastic.

But those movies suck.

Like, I'm sorry.

I've never cared much for Superman at all.

No, I haven't even seen the one with Henry Cavill in it.

No.

And

I barely remember the old ones.

I saw them when I was a kid.

Yeah.

You've just never really been into Superman.

I was a kid.

I always considered myself a bit of a Superman, you know?

So, like, why watch a movie when

look in the mirror every day?

Of course.

but they all right lewis geez they can't help what are you talking about this fool that's what lewis will

demand to know

so um oh my god so anyway it looks great i think i'm excited for for it uh it's it's superman's interesting and yeah henry cow was great what do you like about superman yeah what the uh superman i thought you hated superman lewis every time i talk to you about superman um you you go on about like the rules of superpowers and how he breaks all of them because he can just do too much stuff and he's only unique to like one thing, right?

I mean, I feel like Dr.

Manhattan in the Watchmen universe, what was the representation, like Alan Moore was like, what if someone actually was infinitely powerful?

And why would they give a shit about humanity?

Which is essentially Dr.

Manhattan fucks off to Mars and makes sandcastles.

He doesn't care about, he realizes this is all so trifling and he's out there exploring the fundamentals of the universe.

I think Superman just concerns himself with one town, seemingly.

Occasionally he does stuff all over the world, but a lot of the time he's just catching buses and

saving cats.

He's boring.

And then when there's any kind of enemy, he's like, well, look, I'm not being funny.

I'm the strongest man in the world.

I'm invulnerable.

And I could shoot lasers and I have great hearing and I can free stuff with my breath.

And I have laser eyes.

It's ridiculous.

It's like, where does it end?

And then why does he give a shit?

It's silly.

He should be dating Sidney Sweeney, not Lois fucking Lane.

I'm telling you.

That would make some sense.

Also, how dare he doesn't have to put up with that naggy bitch?

No, how dare you drop Henry Cavill?

Henry Cavill is the goat.

I mean, you've got a good point, but I think it's because I saw the dog.

There's a super dog in this trailer.

Excuse me?

Super dog.

He's got a super dog.

He's got a super dog.

He's got.

He has a super dog?

Super dog.

All right, I'm back in.

With the little tape and everything.

No, he does.

He does.

I'm scrolling.

I'm scrolling through the trailer.

I want to see this dog.

There's no way that this looks at the end.

This sounds good.

Like, this is not like an exciting prospect for a movie.

To me, at least.

I hear that.

And I'm just like, I want to.

He actually has a super dog.

This is the dumbest thing.

And the super dog actually helps him fight.

He's not just like a mascot.

Oh, that's so dumb.

I think I just saw a dinosaur.

What is happening?

What is happening in that trailer?

I know.

It's exciting.

This is, it's too much.

Oh, God.

This suck.

Fucking hell.

So today it's the start of

Camp Yog, actually.

Yeah.

I wish I was done.

So we're doing a week of streams.

We've been prepping things.

We've been planning things.

We've been like...

Thinking about stuff.

We're doing a live blood in the clock tower game today, maybe a special map.

And I've been like, I've been holding so much in my head about it.

You know, because it's running these games.

There's a lot.

And it's kind of, my head feels like someone said to me, I'll just write it down.

And I was like, I can't start writing it down because then it's, it's, it's, I'm never gonna, I'm not gonna have it with me when I'm streaming, you know?

So I need to, I need to get used to having it in my head until tonight.

And then I can get it all out.

That's

just gonna let loose.

Maybe that's

starting today.

Yeah.

You guys picked a good day for it.

It's 14 degrees and sunny outside.

So it's been beautiful weather all the time.

time uh hatfield's be doing their larps their men here's fake which i've heard really good things about so are you gonna are you gonna dabble or are you gonna get involved they offer they they asked me to come along and i would really love to but last time i did stay in a it camped out um i got really wheezy i'm a little bubble boy and i got really sick for like a week afterwards i was really wheezy asthmatic so I think it's I don't know what it was in the maybe it was like an old tent because it was quite an old tent I was staying it was it was like a fabric one oh I think it was probably a bit moldy or something.

Right.

Because it was quite damp as well and quite cold.

Right.

So maybe I'll be fine in the summer, but I'm just a little fragile thing and I'm scared to go to these things in case I just start being all like

ask them to

be like near an intercontinental hotel maybe next.

Well that would be a start.

Also I could laugh as like an old wheezy old wizard or something, you know, and be like sick the whole time.

But I don't think that's the point.

I think you're supposed to, you know, pull your weight a bit.

Got to get out there

did you have to stir up the stew and um do like camp stuff while you were there were you were you holding it down for the for everyone

camp um not so much i think i think actually it's all very chill and there's lots of i think it's just a fun event you guys i think you hat feels would love to you guys to have to go if you wanted and maybe i could find like a premier inn around the corner i could stay at where is it stew it's just a tent thing where is it i wouldn't be caught dead in a premier inn okay i think it's like near notting Got a fucking reputation to uphold.

Nottingham.

They've got quite a big area of land they've used.

Do they still have the Hooters there, or did it shut down?

It's all gone.

They went into administration.

It's gone bankrupt.

They got destroyed by those fucking venture capitalist bugs.

Fucking woke.

The fucking wokies took it down.

This would have happened if we'd revoted vote for fucking radical left and their stupid fucking tricks and lies as usual.

Now there's no Hooters.

Happy now?

They probably would be actually if it had been them.

Probably, yeah.

No, I think I think it was I think it was a long time coming for Hooters, you know?

I don't see how

I don't even know how Hooters stayed open past the 90s, honestly.

Like, I feel like society's moved on a lot.

from that point.

I guess.

And Hooters was just, you know, holding on by their fingernails, I guess, and just

about making it.

I don't know.

It's weird.

A lot of these companies get bought up by venture capitalist firms who saddle them with the debt of buying them, strip mine the entire place, and shut it all down.

There's loads of companies that make money, and loads of

people.

I think it's

we're not letting go of any stuff, okay?

I guess by its very nature

that business is sort of attracting seedy people who go in for that quick button there's nothing seedy about hooters mate it's a weird but a weird proposition because i think if you just want to see some naked boobies there's there are strip clubs you know yeah but i guess maybe one thing

exactly yeah it's the wings i think was the big

it's for a certain i i envisage a certain kind of guy that goes to hooters a lot and he's he's an american guy he's he's quite a big fellow

He wears a shirt tucked right into his trousers, but that just exaggerates his beard up.

He has

got a hat on and he comes in every day, Harry, here from the wings and don't mind the scenery neither.

You know, that kind of guy.

And I just imagine that, you know,

he'd become more interested in perhaps.

I don't think he's going to go to a strip club because he might see that as seedy.

I really don't know.

Yeah,

it's like the same people that instead of saying a swear word, will say, like, you know,

like PU55Y or something like that.

They'll say dad gubbit.

That's taking the P155.

But, you know, like the intent is there,

but they think that, you know,

they don't seem as bad because there's not just full-on nudity at Hooters, I guess.

I don't know.

But it's still, you know, the intent to see,

you know, some boobies is still there.

It's It's just

a more reputable venue somehow.

I don't even see how Hooters is more reputable, but in their minds, I guess it is.

You know, I've only been to Hooters once, and I went,

I must have been like 18 years old when I went, and it was very strange.

It was a really weird one.

And I never went again.

I think we just wanted to see what it was like.

There was one in our town.

So we were like, let's go to Hooters.

We're bored.

And we never went again.

So, um, dang, there you go.

I went once when we went up to see uh AFC Bournemouth play Knotts County.

Nice, that's the one in Nottingham, and then I've been to a couple.

I went to one in the States.

My, I was over to see my dad, and he was like, Let's go to Hooters, like it was some kind of cheeky thing, and then that went well.

And then he was like, maybe we should go to a strip club.

I was like, No, that's kind of weird.

Like, no offense, but I don't want to go to a strip club with my dad.

There's like probably other activities a father and son can do together, yeah, something wholesome, something Something like not going to a strip club or like just doing crack together or something, you know, like it's weird.

I don't know why.

I think you should do that stuff like maybe with your friends or privately, not like with your, I would not want to do crack with my son or go to a strip club with him either, you know?

What if you did both, though?

Would that make it easier?

I'd have to do the crack first and then

I'd smoke crack first and then the rest of it would be doable, I think.

Oh, I see.

Once you've once I'm just completely blasted out of my brains, yeah then uh you'll do anything i'll do anything pretty much yeah

it's a weird thing though isn't it like uh like i feel like there's there should be some off-limit things you wouldn't go to a strip club with your mom would you like what but you go with your dad

she was going to work i mean you would watch

she's worked the pole for years mate sometimes

like i guess like that's the thing isn't it like i don't know take your grandma to a strip club like

i can imagine that being i can imagine that happening like if she was on a deathbed or whatever, it was on her bucket list to go to a strip club.

I don't know if that's on anything.

Is that on any grandma?

I want to be arrested before I die.

Give me some crack.

You know, they're obsessed.

You hear this a lot, though.

Like, I don't think it's on anyone's realistic bucket list.

Like, if you're on your deathbed.

To do crack?

No, to like go to a strip club.

You know, like people say, like, oh, if

I was on a plane and it was about to crash, I would make out with the first person I saw or something.

Like, do you ever hear anybody say that?

You're like, no, you fucking wouldn't you be screaming screaming and crying and blacking out because you're like just about to die.

Nobody's getting horny five seconds before they're dying.

Like, what if the path?

Especially if they know it's coming.

We've got 25 minutes before we crash.

Yeah.

The plane's just going to very slowly glide down into the water and we're all going to die.

Yeah.

He'd be like, so it's going to be a pretty smooth ride to our death.

You're not even really going to notice the descent.

Yeah.

Good luck.

25 minutes?

You're going to scream for 25 minutes?

No.

No.

The first thing I do is try to hang myself with one of those oxygen things that comes on my zoom

Yeah, I don't want it to be over so quickly I would not want to experience the dying and plane crash part you got 25 minutes you could have a cheeky little bank

get so hot and bothered at that point.

Wow 25 minutes left I'm jacking off like four times.

I'm gonna get some great value from this time I've got left.

It's crazy.

Nobody's doing that.

That's too long.

Nobody's got a strip club on their bucket list on their deathbed.

You're too fucking sick and dying.

Like

you're probably barely conscious at this point.

Like, how are you going to a strip club?

When people talk about deathbeds, what I do on my deathbed, I've been there for people on their deathbed.

They tell you exactly what you're doing on your deathbed.

You're shitting yourself.

You feel awful and you probably just want to die at that point.

Yeah.

You're not thinking about like, oh, fuck, maybe I'll just try that high score in Super Mario one more time.

Like before.

Is this a real thing though that people that old folks because you hear about someone who's like I really want to get a tattoo you know they've got things they they never did yeah and their husband dies or their wife dies and they're like I'm gonna go and do the things that oh that's a bit different if you're the survivor sure you might have a different bucket list but for the poor the poor person who's uh passed away their bucket list uh you know you you go you that's that's why you just got to do it kick the bucket list you got to seize the day because you don't know you might just you might just not wake up the next day, you know?

Well, then, and then what?

But that goes for everyone.

Exactly.

Carpe DM.

Yes.

Yeah.

Fucking, you know, make the most of it because you could get hit by a bus tomorrow.

Any of us, you, you, you, there was a Bristol marathon the other day.

Um, Sarah, lovely Sarah, it's from the office, and a few other people took took part.

Yeah.

And she, I think it was 10 people went, and only nine made it back.

I know, I know the story.

It's as the tale is old as time.

I think she started at nine, but she was done by like 10 or whatever.

It was crazy.

I wasn't even awake by the time she'd run a marathon or whatever.

You're a lazy boss.

You don't want to be out there in the full heat of the day running and walking and stuff.

That's why they go early.

Well, exactly.

And that's why a guy died.

And

the guy died.

Yeah, yeah.

He was like a 27-year-old rugby player as well, like literally prime of his fucking

life.

It happens.

And he just died of a heart.

That's so sad or an aneurysm.

It happens.

You see it like occasionally a footballer will die and you'll be like, how the fuck is this footballer dead?

Yeah.

Because they're just, and it can happen.

Sometimes it's like a genetic disorder that is just, they don't even know about it.

Have you got a strip club you need to go to?

Because we can get you out there, old ladies, old, old folks.

Do you want to get a tattoo, P-Flax, or sips?

I do want to get a tattoo.

Is there anything if you, if you were...

say some some one of these events was going to happen to you you don't you don't know it's going to happen to you but let's say um any day now it could happen you're not aware that it's going to happen, but it could happen.

Are you guys good?

Like, have you done all the things that you think you want to do?

And if you did pass, you're like, you know what, I had a good run, or is there some outstanding business?

Oh, well, like if I was a ghost, I would, you know, go to a strip club and be like, I didn't get to do this when I was alive.

Um,

I'm gonna get a tattoo.

Oh, shit,

that's actually a really annoying one for ghosts to be sitting out.

I didn't know that.

Because I guess old people have trouble getting tattooed anyway because of their skins all

wrinkled up.

All wrinkled up.

They have to flatten it out like a tablecloth.

You're trying to use like an iron.

Well, like you were

saying, what if

you were really overweight, but then you had rapid weight loss and you had all that extra skin, it'd be hard to get a tat on that too, wouldn't it?

Well, I think a good artist, though, would be able to bring that, like, make that part of it.

Right.

Oh.

You know?

Like a laughing skull

when you flex your muscles.

It makes it look like a skull.

You get a face.

You get a face.

And when your fat is all, you know, your reclaimed skin is all wrinkled.

It looks like an old version of that person.

But you can make them look young by just stretching your gut out.

So you could do like an age transformation.

I don't know.

It's like Newman or something like that.

Young person.

A £10 note.

You can make the queen smile.

Paul Newman, the guy that had the range of salad dressings.

Yes, of course.

Newman's own.

Holy shit.

You know, that company has given like fucking a a fortune.

We've spoken about it before.

Yeah.

I'm sure we've mentioned Paul Newman before.

Crazy.

Holy crap.

That is crazy.

So, is there anything that you feel like you really do want to do?

No, right.

The only thing, it's, I think, the only thing I would say, and it comes back to this very often, is when you have kids, it's different.

You want to see them grow up.

You want to see, you want to be part of their lives as long as you can.

So the thought of dying before you get to, you know, see them and, you know, see them go through their whole lives is not the best but in terms of actually doing stuff i mean i there's not there's there's nothing i i can really think of that i'd be like you know you're ready to go heartbroken about not not doing you know i've done i've i've i've had a good run you know i'm not ready to go obviously but and you also haven't had an actual run but you've had a you know you haven't run anywhere have you no no yeah i've done a lot i probably like if i had a fitbit on you've had a good walk in-game video game characters i've probably done a heck of a lot of walking and running.

That's impressive.

Yeah.

I mean, we're talking probably like multiple trillions of steps easy, you know.

Oh, but

in real life, getting your 10,000 steps in oblivion every day.

I can't do it.

I can't do exercise.

I hate that.

God, I hate exercise.

I've got some audio books.

I don't know.

I've been trying to go walk in a bit, especially.

I've just feel so bad not making use of the nice weather.

It's been so sunny here lately and every day i'm like i feel guilty playing video games all day yeah i've been going for like some walks and stuff i've been i've been out i've been doing some stuff outside in the garden and whatnot mowing the lawn and stuff i i i feel like i've you know took the pit the the kids to the park you know just like that i've been i've been out i don't feel too bad it's nice what do you want nice to have a break see your kids do not nothing in particular just want them to be happy just want them to go to a strip club like what you know You're going to take them.

I just want to be there.

I just want to be the support guy.

You know, I just want to be, you know, like, hey, how'd your first trip to the strip club go and stuff, you know?

Sorry, I couldn't go.

It's too fucking awkward for me to go there, but tell me how it went.

Like, what did you think?

What were you feeling at the time and stuff?

You know, like, or whatever, you know?

Hey, how was that rave last night?

Was that cool or what?

Like, you know, like, I just want to be that.

I just want to know.

I just want to.

How was that crank?

Yeah.

Wow.

Gosh.

Jeez.

How was that hot new synthetic drug that everybody's talking about that we tried yesterday?

Any good?

You know, yeah.

I just, you know, you just want to kind of be around for all the stuff.

What's it like to vapor Tamagotchi?

Yeah.

Yeah.

There.

Yeah.

Gosh.

Does that exist?

Gosh.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

That's crazy.

Yeah, no, I think that's the, that's the only thing.

You know, you just want to, you just want to make sure that, you know, your, your, your family are okay and stuff.

But otherwise, like, in terms of actually doing stuff, you know, I don't really like you know, like some people like, oh man, I want to go see the Taj Mahal or whatever.

You know,

yeah, call me an idiot or whatever, but man, I don't really want to go see the Taj Mahal.

Like, it's not

interested in that diarrhea if I do that, maybe, like, immediately.

Yeah, that's my fear about the Taj.

I'll be looking at the Taj Mahal and I'll be like, also thinking, where's the bathroom?

And I won't be enjoying it.

Do you know what I mean?

Because I think that's like I've seen like

some, you know, some historically relevant landmarks and stuff.

And like, it's just whatever, you know, like, I've seen a curve.

Yeah.

I've seen pictures of my couple.

I've seen a couple of bits and pieces.

And that's enough for me.

I don't really need to,

you know.

What am I going to take?

God almighty.

It's not about the destination.

It's about the journey.

It's about the journey.

Yeah.

I'd much rather fly.

I would much rather not go anywhere in particular and just have a fun time playing cards on the train or whatever, you know.

Like, I don't really care.

I'm along for the ride.

exactly awful what you got what you gotta say for yourself b flex okay flex the thing is yeah you think it's awful but you've already discounted about three quarters of the planet that you don't want to visit so you can't really say

it's australia what are you talking about you said there's loads of parts of asia and europe that you would never want to go to south america you pretty much said no i'm not going like that's

africa you pretty much said you're not going so that it is all injections yeah it's a lot of the planet that you've said you're not going to so i mean you i think we're in the same boat.

I already say we're in the same boat.

Maybe I've got the life vest on and you don't, or something.

You know, that's the only difference.

We are in Hungarists.

We are in the same boat.

We're in anything like the same boat, mate.

I think

you're welcome to your boat.

I want no part of it.

Wow.

You just don't realize you're on.

That's the thing.

You got closer to death than any of us, P-Flat.

Yeah, you did, P-Flash with your ticker Oh, God.

Yeah, true.

So did that not give you a new

verve, a new zest for life?

Did you ever did you?

Would you be surprised, actually?

Did you have a desire list, a bucket list?

No, I don't.

Or were you just like fighting?

I don't have a bucket list.

I'd say that what I have is

I just don't really want anything in particular other than to have a nice, gentle retirement someday.

And I've been feeding the pigeons that come to my windowsill for the last few weeks.

I know.

Have you noticed any difference?

Like, are they bulking up?

They're getting older and older, mate.

I'll tell you that.

That's too boring.

I've been away for a week.

I was in Denmark for a week doing a Dote Revent, which was a good idea.

Oh, yeah.

How did that go?

I forgot you got it.

That was good.

Yeah, yeah.

It was really good.

So I came back and I was in my office for two minutes.

And they arrived at the window and they were both cooing at me.

They were like, Daddy, you're bad.

Yeah.

They were like, where's the seeds?

Um, they've been starving for two weeks, they built a family based on this income.

I know, it's literally suddenly it was whipped out from under them.

Yeah, it was almost like downsizing.

I felt awful for them, but uh, but yeah, they're okay.

It's so funny that you're like, it's like you're a fucking prisoner, that's what it is.

It's like, it's like you're swiddling chess bones and feeding the pigeons in his room.

The guy who's feeding that the mice and uh feeding that mouse in Shaw Shank, yeah, it really is.

Yeah, it is.

You're whiling away your wee hours playing like Dota and feeding the pigeons.

It's it's

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so yes you can protect your online privacy today by visiting expressvpn.com slash triforce that's exp-r-e-s-s-v-pn.com slash triforce to find out how you can get up to four extra months free expressvpn.com slash triforce on with the show Holy shit, talking about whiling away the wee hours, man, I've been playing Timberborn recently.

I did a hashtag ad for it earlier in the week, and it reminded me of Timberborn because I haven't played it in so long.

Man, it's great.

It's so cool.

It's such a cool game.

I've built so many big dams and stuff.

Crazy.

It's a really nice one.

I love.

It's like

a nice little tinkery game.

You can pretend to be an engineer.

The amount of...

maintenance and it's a chores game like Factorio.

And yeah, I love them.

I've been playing, talk about games real quick.

I've been playing Claire Obscura.

I know.

I see you playing it all the damn time.

I've only done 15 hours.

Wow, that's all the damn time in my world.

15 hours, that's a lot.

Everyone's candidate for game of the year, so I thought I ought to check it out.

Yeah, it's not, uh, it's, it's, it's a big game, but it's not a big game, right?

Like, the well, the team that made it is not a huge team, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's not.

It's not.

It's that super short, guys.

God, it looks like

it's really good, but it's basically, I didn't realize this, but it's basically a JRPG.

It's basically Final Fantasy.

um you know i played games exactly like it when i was a kid you know on playstation and it's like very familiar you know the only thing that's different and not people have been sort of complaining about or not complaining about some people love it some people hate it but the main thing that's different is it's like a final fantasy game where you walk around you it's relatively turn-based you choose kind of who you're going to fight mostly sometimes stuff will come at you but then you're put into this active time battle where you select your character's moves and you you tweak their abilities and you combo their moves together and blah blah blah but it's got basically every damage you guys are going to take is avoidable with QuickTime events, pretty much.

So, like,

you can go through the game.

If you hit every QuickTime event, it's like a JRPG

with like Pokemon-style battles, right?

Yes.

And, and it's,

it's good, and it's, it's really interesting.

The other thing about it is that the story is straight out of Death Stranding nonsense level.

So, you know, speaking of which, uh, Death Stranding 2's out next month, very excited for that, by the way, as well.

Yeah, it's coming out next month.

Wow.

Yeah,

I didn't think I'd like Death Straining, and I really enjoyed it.

Even though you loved it.

The story was absolutely bonkers.

It was bonkers, yeah.

But actually, I'm kind of glad that it was so bonkers because I find I struggle with in-game stories now to follow them.

I just skip everything now.

I just can't.

Me too.

If I could not be bothered.

I was like, half of the...

half the stuff in Claire Obscure, I would have skipped it because it is mostly just people talking about absolute nonsense.

And the thing is, I've played it, again, I feel like I've played it a lot of it.

Well, maybe I haven't.

I've only like done like 20, 15, 20 hours, but I feel like I've learned, still learned nothing.

I'm like, why is everyone here?

What is going on?

Why is the world like this?

Like, what the fuck?

And I think it's, again, very, very JRPG inspired in that it is,

it is, there's humans and they're on a planet, but that's about it.

You know,

they, they live in some really weird situation where there's no rules.

You know, like, one of the first areas, you're like suddenly, weirdly underwater, and then you're like, everything's floating.

You know, it's, it's, it's nonsense.

God.

Yeah, while we're talking excitedly about video games as well, I got into the tester for Ark Raiders, which is a new, it's like a, it's like a, like a, a trimmed down Tarkov, but it's in a, in like a post-apocalyptic setting.

It's fantastic.

Really, really good.

It's really cool.

Yeah.

It's got a really nice mix of, um, you know, like the

sort of tense situations that come on from the sort of extraction looter shooter.

Right.

But like, it's just the atmosphere of the game is phenomenal.

Like they, they've nailed it.

Like the sound and everything is really cool.

There's a really nice mix of like PVE and PvP.

It's quick.

You know, you're not waiting forever to get into load into a map.

And then when you're in the map, you can be in there for like five minutes if you want, or you could stay longer.

It's, it's really, really cool.

But I don't think it's out.

I think they're doing another test, like another weekend test in like September.

So it's not out for a while.

Well, the other thing that's coming up.

I can't wait for

the play was the new June Awakening, which is why I've turned that into it.

It's like Conan Excels.

Do you remember that?

Which was really fun for a while.

Yeah, but it's kind of...

For a while.

Yeah.

It is one of those games.

It's like you build a kind of like a settlement.

You do some crafting.

It's a crafting survival sort of thing.

We've been playing one recently called Belroyd, which is like a medieval version of that.

But it's got like oh yeah it's got like some banner lord stuff in it too you can kind of like raise an army and take over places and stuff

so many games there's too many games yeah it's wild there's too many games too many so many

i've been playing drop duchy

which is i think i played uh

i'm doing an ad for that tomorrow actually drop duchy yeah it's really good i'm looking forward to it me and p fly i've seen a few people playing it a lot it's it's just a little arcade game where you uh it's like a Tetris city builder.

Yeah.

That's fun.

Nice.

I like that.

It's got like those sort of card-like element things to it as well.

Yeah.

It's

very good, but it's very Moorish.

A deck-based, Tetris-like, roguelike tile placement game.

Nice.

Yeah.

So you're basically playing like city center and then you play some forests around it.

And then you, and then the city center gives you resources

that lets you upgrade your city center.

It's fun.

You know, that's cool.

Based on how many forests are around it, that kind of thing.

Oh, so

I didn't read the tutorial at all.

I didn't look at it.

And then I've discovered that

you have to upgrade.

It's quite kind of fun, I guess.

I don't know.

People are always like, oh, he doesn't do the tutorials.

Oh, he doesn't pay attention or whatever.

But,

you know, like games, you know, like the one that you've been playing, Lewis, like the story-driven ones,

I like games that I can just like fart around in and make my own fun listen.

I don't need everything spelled out.

I'm fine to just kind of fumble through stuff, figure it out, and have fun.

Even the most experienced gamers, board gamers, will forget a key rule.

Like, I was playing this game with, um,

I went to UK Games Expo last year.

I played this game.

Well, I played Ark Nova.

It's like a zoo building game.

Yeah.

Anyway, I was, I was, I, I, I decided I'd sign up for the tournament because I played like a thousand games of this fucking game on Board Game Arena.

And so I went and I played with these guys and I um I absolutely crushed them because I've played so much of it.

One of them.

But I got into an argument with one of the guys because he was like, you can't do that.

And I was like, what?

What do you mean?

And he was like, well, this is, you're playing it wrong.

And I was like, no, no, no.

Let's get the ref over here.

Turns out I was wrong.

I've been playing this game wrong the whole time.

Is that why you were so quote good at it?

Yeah.

No.

Well, it was.

It was a rule, actually, like that he, because it turns out that you could put multiple of the same building next to another building.

And I didn't realize this.

So, I was deliberately not doing it or whatever.

And so, I'd actually be making it worse for myself.

So, anyway, but like,

there's we've we do this all the time.

I play games with Russell, who's um at Chancellor County, he's such a lovely man.

This is the guy I went to.

Shout out to Russell.

Russell, it's Russell getting a shout-out this morning.

I love him.

I love him.

He's a lovely man.

Do you want to play a game today, Russell?

But yeah, well, he's a great game, Russell.

I thought we'd played games together.

He doesn't

talk like that.

He's very well spoken.

He's a lovely man.

I will not hear a bad thing said about Russell.

He's one of the nicest people in the world.

When it is, it's Russell.

Want you to know if any games were on the cards today, Lewis?

It's what he does.

He sexes me.

He texts me.

He's a nice man.

And

sometimes, you know.

Oh, you're playing that wrong, Lewis.

Exactly.

Someone hasn't pointed it out to you before.

Exactly.

And sometimes I'll say to him, like, well, maybe actually it's better.

Like, but we talk about this a lot.

Lulu rules change.

Exactly.

I think ever since I was a kid, I've always,

I think my mum did this to me as well.

Like when we were playing Monopoly or playing a game or something, she would decide that the rules needed to be changed.

Right.

Yeah.

Or we were playing cards and we always played these like little card games.

She would decide at some points that in fact the game would be more fun if we did it this way.

Right.

And I kind of took that on board that games were ever-shifting and ever-changing.

And I shouldn't be bound to the rules if it feels better.

Because a lot of these games aren't designed perfectly by the Lord Jesus Christ, who, you know, it's a big board game.

He's a big fan he was.

Made big board games in heaven, you know.

Take this D6.

This D6 is my heart.

Drink this mountain dew.

It is my God.

One of you will cheat in this moment for Magic the Gathering this evening.

Anyway, it would be losers.

I think that's why.

You betrayed me.

Well, this rule makes more sense this way.

Well, I think, here's the thing.

I think frustration in games leads to cheating.

I think a lot of the cheaters in these games who get caught at Magic the Gathering tournaments, they feel like they were wronged by RNG and so are their legitimate.

That is a little something.

I actually agree with that 100%.

They've got a lot of justification to the.

I'm not saying I agree with them.

I'm saying I agree with your conclusion that they feel cheated.

I definitely have.

This is bullshit.

I would have beat him if I'd just needed the right cards.

Like, that's their exactness.

I feel like that.

I've been playing Bellatro, and I feel like that all the time.

You know, like I'm getting things set up, and it's like, I need diamonds.

Where the fuck are all the diamonds?

Like, I've stacked this deck for diamonds.

They don't exist.

exist all of a sudden you know and i lose i wish i could cheat my way out of that one but you know well exactly well if it was in real life you could but well yeah exactly yeah i wouldn't i could and i would i i think we've all been tempted in real life to you know push that in the needle ourselves you know a little bit you know just to bring it you know it's and i i find myself having to sometimes resist you know i'm quite an honorable man um i don't find myself ever even tempted uh well i i

I think it's because as a kid, we all learned that cheating was unsatisfying, right?

Like once I bought one of those cheat engine cartridges for the Nintendo Game Genie 64 or whatever.

Yeah, I had one of them

send me one or whatever.

It was a really richie rich.

They were advertised like crazy everywhere.

It was like a big thing.

You can really break some of the games.

Yeah.

And I know, and I think I cheated through a level or something that I was stuck on, and it made it so unsatisfying that I've never

used to.

I remember playing.

I think it was Wolfenstein 3D.

I think I used the cheats for, just because it was like, I was quite young and

it was somehow a bit scary, you know.

But Doom 2.

We worked through Doom 1 and 2 multiplayer over like a direct connect, you know, 14, 14.4 modem.

And we didn't have to cheat for those.

That was fun.

We just did some real old school co-op, me and my friend.

i've always felt honestly if you're playing a single player game and you want a little help to make it more fun why the fuck do people got to judge that like if you want to cheat or enter a cheat code you can't cheat yourself like it's not like the game is has its fucking uh

you know oh that hurts my feelings it's a video game it doesn't care and just cheat away if you want to modify and make it a little more fun for yourself a little easier it's fine for it yeah it's yeah i think it if it makes it fun or more fun for you, then, then go for it.

One game I did cheat on, I think this is the only game I've ever cheated on.

I bought the original Bioshock and I could not, I don't know, it's not even like looking back, I don't even think that game was like that scary, but I was just like petrified of going into like certain areas and stuff.

And I just thought, I bought this game.

I want to play it.

I want to get like to the end or whatever, but I just can't.

Like, it's just like, it's like watching a horror movie.

Like, I can't, I just could not progress.

I was just too like, I don't know, like anxious or something.

Paralyzed.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So I just put the cheats on and I was like, just flew through the whole game.

And it was satisfying enough.

I got to see like the story at the time.

I was like kind of interested.

Here's the thing.

But

it was way too atmospheric for me, that the original Bioshock.

I just couldn't handle it.

People are the same now.

There's a thing on Steam where Steam.

recommends that when you are making the difficulty setting of your game, you do not demean anyone.

You don't say, like, Doom, the new Doom that's just come out, can't have a difficulty setting called this is for babies or whatever it was.

Probably like the little baby, easy mode, right?

Because that was like, that's derived.

For people who aren't very good at playing games and they feel bad about it.

So you should call it, and it's now standard to call it story mode, which is basically you just sit through and watch and play the game like it is.

Yeah, exactly.

And the other, and you're still playing the game, actually.

So in fact, Claire Obscure has the story mode and it also has a quick time auto mode.

So, and a guy showed how you can play through the whole game by failing every single dodge role.

That would be me.

That would be me.

So, the other thing about it is like there's the most popular mod for it with 100,000 downloads is this mod that adds five different.

difficulty settings of dodge because by default um the dodge is actually pretty hard and the first difficulty setting makes it like 30 easier then 100 easier then like 200 and 400 easier.

Because I think a lot of people, you know, don't play those games or those timing-y games where you like, if you've played a lot of Elden Ring and a lot of other types of games like that, you're going to be just killing your way through the game, no problem.

But I am failing so many dodge roles.

And the funny thing is, it has, it's quite clever.

The game has got two levels of dodge.

So it's got like, you can either dodge, which gives you, um, which is easy to do, but doesn't give you anything.

Or you can parry, which is harder to do, but gives you like an AP.

so it's it's kind of a

what's a power bonus and an action point

one extra point of to attack back with kind of thing so you you can make it more difficult for yourself and I think actually they've really thought it's it's very well thought out the whole game as it is but I can see why people wouldn't want to do I mean I you know after two hours of playing it my hands are tired from all the dodging kind of thing I'm not used to that kind of amount of button presses I guess in a with a controller anyway I don't know it just felt kind of of quite a lot of button presses but but but fun and and it's really optimized it's about as optimized as you can get i and that's why i think i'll be honest with you

i didn't play uh i i mean i didn't look at the trailer and really

want to play it because i found it too french

Right.

I think it's very French.

It's barely French at all.

They say maired occasionally.

It's just, it's just like all the, look, you know, I love France.

I have

no problem with the French people.

And I have no problem with a game made by and set in France.

But an Englishman has his limits.

And my limit is that game.

It's just too much.

It's too French.

I know it's made in France, but it does feel like it's made in Japan.

And it was

inspired by French or whatever.

The units are like, for those who come before and stuff like that.

I was like, I can't do that.

Yeah, but you always have like that.

Yeah, if every character is like that, but like, you know, if you're in like playing XCOM or whatever, occasionally you'll get somebody who's like, Yes, the objective is so close or something like that, you know, like the little voice lines for depending on if you have sometimes like a Canadian soldier or something,

but it's not every single soldier, you know.

Sometimes you can edit them as well.

You can always be like, I'm going to edit this guy and make yeah.

Yeah.

But I just, I don't know.

It's just, it's just make him less French.

And what you were saying about how you've been playing it, and you still don't really have any fucking idea what's going on,

I feel like having watched the trailer, this world is going to be so convoluted that I just can't be bothered with it.

I know that's unfair, but I just thought, just from the dialogue, I was like, oh, this is going to be a whole thing where

these games would come up with some mechanic.

Yeah,

what's like the loop that keeps,

or is it just the story?

The thing for me is like, story's not enough.

It has to have some

fun.

I don't know.

For me, the fun or something in it.

I like the JRPG kind of skill-based system that they have like each character has like so many different skills.

And you can kind of, I was just tinkering around with this idea yesterday where I have one guy on like one hit point and he, he's got all these, all these different things that buff him when he does, when he's basically on one life, right?

And so

you can, and if he dies as well, resurrecting him has a node of different benefits.

So basically like, it's like a, there's like loads of different play styles.

You can lean into all of your guys comboing with fire or lightning or the traditional stuff or you can do some weird stuff like um have it so because each each character also has a gun and they can you know shoot stuff and you can shoot weak points on the enemies and it's kind of free aim to do that and you can lean into a strategy where everyone's shooting stuff and it makes the combats really different and really fast and really kind of fun like i don't know like i've messed around with a few different strats so far and then it's it like a party based thing like so you have like a black wizard and a white wizard and so you i've got like four people at the moment i think there's there's six total and i think the idea is that you can um like a fight amongst them

yeah you can mix mix and match them to to make sure they overlap and find out because they each have this massive skill tree and there's loads of little um attachable bonus effects that have different effects and you can change their stats as well and respec them anytime and so i'm i am tinkering with it and i i think that's fun because as soon as you've gone through a zone there is you get loads of new stuff can you summon a hamute at any point point

exactly yeah you have like break limit break stuff it's very very japanese yeah yeah yeah yeah um i just it just looked um like the jrpg thing to me has never been uh especially interesting a lot of the fights are incredibly long and i like i like like the old final fantasy games i guess those are kind of like i played seven when it came out on

ps one ps one seven seven was good eight that was fun i didn't get super into it eight was the one with the gun blades right nine

i remember the chocobo racing that was quite fun.

Spent a lot of time just chocobo racing.

And then

Splitzball or nine was one of them.

Oh, no.

Nine was the, it was like a kind of a return to like the little, you know, the little guy with the blue cape and the uh and the yellow hat wizards.

Like it was that kind of style, you know, it went from seven.

I was talking about the one where the lad had a big sword and spiky hair.

That was seven.

Cloud, yeah.

Yeah.

So that one, the combat in that, when you cast one of your big spells or whatever, the cutscene for it was so cool.

Like you'd, you know, go up and there'd be some space station that fires some laser down.

I was like, this is awesome.

There's lots of stuff like that in Final Fantasy.

Yeah, I don't know if it's like that in this game that Lewis is talking about.

Maybe it is.

But it just, I was watching

and it was like, there's the monster of some big tree thing.

And yeah, you've got the QuickTime Parry, which I'm like, I'm never making that in a million years.

And then, you know, you're casting your spells and building up some meter and there's all stuff.

But I just thought, God, this is going to be, it really looks cool.

I think I like the old Final Fantasy games, though, because

a lot of the mechanics were quite simple as well.

You know, you didn't have to.

There's a line somewhere where if there's too many skills in the skill tree, too many things to like to think about,

you could quickly feel like I have six people in my party.

I have to manage all of them.

Like, it

feels like,

I think the problem is if you, if you ever actually tab out to the you know any kind of subreddit or advice site it'll say use these skills and then the game is like trivialized you know and you don't use anything else like you have to part of it is to find your own broken in there right and there are broken combos and games deliberately put them in especially single-player games so that you can feel powerful and smart when you find them um you know and and it's it's part of the fun i i think it's i think it's a good game obviously i i think i have found myself being scared of playing the most hyped games of the time.

Well, I know.

Did you play

the same way?

The

Oblivion Remaster.

Have you played that yet?

I haven't got time for that.

No.

I do not understand, by the way, why people were so excited for that game coming out.

I spoke to young Davith and he said...

Oblivion.

Yeah.

I don't think anyone was.

I think it just dropped out.

No, it didn't.

David was like, when that came out, I was so excited.

He said, that is my favorite game of all time.

That's what Dav told me.

Oh, yeah, but he wasn't hyped.

He wasn't hoping.

He didn't even know about the remaster until the day before it came out.

Yeah, it was only rumored until the day it came out.

I think they were very scared of it being like cyberpunk style, buggy complaints.

I mean, I think they were scared about what it was going to be like.

They almost did it as like a stealth release.

It didn't have any big budget behind it.

You know, it didn't have any kind of like...

I don't think they were expecting a hit basically with this remaster because a lot of remasters have really flopped in a big way.

Really?

Yeah.

I thought it was all around

that fucking remastering.

It's so fucking cheap and easy for them, isn't it?

I mean, yeah,

some have been okay and some not.

So like Diablo

2 was remastered and I think that was well received, but then Warcraft 3 was remastered and it was a total bomb.

There was a lot.

A lot of them haven't done well.

But I think the, in this case, the bugginess of the original was such a core part of it that like

that I feel like

this adding more bugs was

very well received.

There was a guy who made like a bunch of oblivion mods, quite a famous guy.

In fact, I think he's, I can't really recall this story, but but a lot he ended up making a big patch for it that fixed a lot of bugs.

Um, and he changed a few things in the game, and people were like, Don't change that.

Like, why are you doing that?

Why are you you're making the game better, but we liked it being weird and buggy and stupid.

Like, oblivion to me has always been Like all the memes about Oblivion NPCs and it being fucked up.

I mean, Spyrim as well was full of little weird stuff.

But I'm just like, I don't know.

I don't want to play that.

I like watching it, but I thought we were laughing at it.

But people are like, isn't that charming?

I'm like, no, this company is so rich and they turn out such garbage over and over again.

It really annoys me.

Like fucking Star Span or whatever the fuck it was called, that thing that Starfield did.

Starfield, yeah.

Total disaster.

I just don't understand it.

That was so bad, people weren't even making meme-y jokes about it.

There was no charm to how shit it was.

And that's the inevitability of people rewarding what is to me always been very bland gameplay where they just say it's an open world and therefore it's just it's just insane it's just insane there's no design to it what do they say about skyrim it's like it like vast as an ocean but as deep as a puddle sort of thing you know like sounds about right it's yeah and i mean it is to a point like some of the quest lines are are better than others or whatever but i mean ultimately it is just a bit of a a sandbox to like yeah you know around in sorry to waffle waffle about games over the whole time shall we do lose news yes please

so um

there have been i don't know if you've seen this but uh at the f1 in miami they had a load of lego cars uh a lego formula one i saw this yeah but they all because it's like it's something to do with like uh one of the saudi princes or something he is like packaged in with each Lego set or something like that.

What?

You get a Saudi prince Lego figurine with every F1 car.

Yeah, something.

What are you talking about?

Oh, if only that were true.

Yeah, you get it.

It's like it's so foam and everything.

Why?

Is that not the story?

I thought I knew what you were talking about.

And receive the Ahman al-Radul action figure.

Yeah, no, I thought so.

Is that true?

I thought that's crazy

I think that's

full size.

There's a bunch of full size Legos.

Let's have a look.

Oh, I thought you meant that they had

made an actual Formula One team.

No, well, it might as well be.

Formula One Saudi Arabian Grand Prix 2025 Lego.

Maybe this is what I'm thinking of.

So there's a 45-second Twitter video.

uh

with these lego cars they're obviously not they're driving on the raceway so but they just look look like the real fucking thing.

They're just driving real slow.

That's crazy.

But when you zoom in, you realize they're made of Lego, or at least

the chassis is, I assume.

There must be some.

It's always weird, like how much Lego they use on these things, you know, because you wonder, well, if you're making something out of Lego, Lego have engines, they have wheels, they have like drive shafts, but they obviously don't have those big rubber wheels.

You can't buy massive Formula One wheels that are made of rubber.

And they've clearly used those in these Lego F1 cars.

Right.

So the wheels are not Lego, right?

They're real wheels.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah.

And obviously, some of the drive shaft stuff, I don't think Lego driveshafts can drive those wheels.

So I think, do you see what I mean?

I think they've made a Lego chassis

over some sort of lawnmower engine or something.

So it's a con job, is what you're saying.

Well, it's Lego, but to what extent?

And if, and if that's Lego, you know, can I just make a thin Lego shell over like something.

I mean, I guess that's what Legoland is is as well listening Legoland is a massive is is like a massive frame with an outer shell of Lego it's like being gold plated I guess you could say these are Lego plated Formula One cars

yeah

which is fine

what do you mean boo I'm booing Lego you're booing Lego yeah

Lego why this week's anti-shout out Lego for making me think they'd actually made a car and they just stuck some fucking Lego bits on an actual car boo but then again they do try their best to do as much Lego as possible.

Next up, Goldeneye and Quake have joined the World Video Game Hall of Fame.

Cool.

So

the Strong National Museum of Play has

Goldeneye.

They have significantly influenced popular culture and the GoldenEye was into in a major way, though.

Oh, my God.

So none of my mates played.

Goldeneye.

When we were at university, I did go around to, we went around to someone's house to smoke some weed, and they had Goldeneye.

uh and I played it a bit and Half-Life had come out or similar kind of era.

Yeah, and I was like, why is everyone shitting themselves about goldeneye?

It looks and plays like hot garbage.

You've got Half-Life, which is like a seminal game.

And I just couldn't get not everyone had PCs when Half-Life came out.

But I was because I was doing a computer degree, I had a PC that could run Half-Life.

And I was like, you guys don't even know how much better Half-Life is than this.

Like, that was always my thing.

So I think a lot of the Goldeneye love is nostalgia.

Goldeneye was just, I think we were the right age for a like a couch multiplayer shooter game on the Nintendo 64, which everyone pretty much had.

I didn't know anyone that had an N64.

Oh, weird.

I bought one to play that Mario 3D.

Yeah.

And I was like, this is horrible.

I like the original Mario games.

Do you ever play the wrestling games on the Nintendo 64, the WCW wrestling games?

So, no, because I think they're too old and none of my friends are into wrestling.

So, yeah, bit of a different gaming upbringing.

If I'd been 10 years younger and had grown up in North America, I'm sure that all those wrestling years would have been a lot of fun.

I must have been like 12 or 13 when the Nintendo 64 came out.

So, I was like prime

demographic, you know, everything.

I got one at university from a second-hand game shop in Plymouth, and I was like, Yeah, this is nice, but I sold it pretty quickly.

I traded it for something else.

I always liked PlayStation in that era, honestly.

Yeah, I rented a PlayStation, yeah, you could rent them from Boston.

It must be able to rent consoles.

Yeah.

Imagine

rent a VCR from,

we used to have like jumbo video and stuff.

You could rent a VCR for the weekend and then some movies as well.

That's wild.

I was trying to explain to the kids that when I was a lot younger,

my mom, because we were broke, she would rent our television.

from radio rentals.

Jesus.

And you had to pay every month.

But I was like, looking back now, it's a terrible decision.

Like, just save up.

Don't fucking

do this.

This is no good.

So, um, I saw just one thing related.

Did you, um, so okay, BBC Maestro, which is their version of Masterclass, right?

Is um, what's Masterclass?

Uh, it's like a, it's like a thing you could sign up to where experts do a YouTube video for you where they they tell you about it.

So you subscribe.

It's like a Netflix, but for education where celebrities or experts

will, Stephen King will be like, oh, this is how I write a book.

Anyway, BBC have done one called Maestro.

And is it about this is how we conceal sex offenders that work for BBC?

Good God.

Did you imagine cutting his mind?

No, they've used an AI to bring Agatha Christie back to life.

Oh, thank God.

As an old woman.

Oh, well, right.

You can see I've sent a link uh in the description it's got an ad of course because fucking you can't possibly watch something now

even though i pay for youtube premium i can't link you a thing right bbc i'm i've got i pay my tv license goddamn it yeah and and so uh so if you scroll to the end you can see her 3d avatar wait

it's a great irony

ai it's a great irony that one of the you know one of my favorite writers of all time is

being AI rendered by the very thing that's going to replace writers.

That is

awful.

Fuck you, BBC.

You absolute bellens.

I know.

Oh, God, I'm so fucking sick of AI.

I wanted to either go away or just get it over with and wipe us out for fuck's sake.

Just replace us all and then put us in a bin and kill us.

Don't bother with all this fucking Agatha Christie wankery alive.

Let us know 25 minutes before you're playing.

to kill your son.

And then fucking welcome it.

Get a tattoo.

I've always wanted a tattoo whilst I'm jacking off.

This is perfect.

Get it done.

And finally, this is not a great upbeat to end on.

As the tensions are rising between Pakistan and India,

the Pakistani government shared some footage in response to India's accusation of harboring terrorist infrastructure.

However,

it was just some Armour 3 footage.

No,

no, it's real life.

Not even Reforger?

Those amateurs.

Exactly.

It's another time where Armour 3

has been mistaken for

real life.

That has happened.

It's frightening stuff.

In the worlds where, you know, the people running the world have no concept of what's possible with technology.

God, yeah.

You know, they can't, you know, it's like your grandparents don't understand that this is fake, you know?

Yeah.

That's what we're dealing with.

And it's frightening.

We either need to slow down the progress

of technology or we need to educate our old people, send them back to school.

Did you see that?

I did see, I actually uninstalled TikTok this week because I realized it was melting my brain.

And

I've never even seen that app before.

I don't even know what it looks like.

What do you mean?

Like, I've never had it installed.

I've never like the, I've, I've seen TikToks, but I've never

on TikTok.

Like, I've only ever seen them on Reddit or, you know,

so the app doesn't really show you anything.

There's not really an app.

It's more, it's just videos in a string.

That's the whole point of it.

It's like you open it and it's like a video playing.

You can't smell your brain.

Like you scroll and it's a new thing.

It's like constant stimulation.

It's like it's terrible.

You can't stop it.

It's so auto-playing.

Like

it's just unstoppable.

It's like you can't pause it or stop it or at any time.

Well, you can, but it's like, it just, it's like a juggernaut.

Yeah.

It'll just assault your mind.

You'll get the same thing with Instagram reels.

Have you used that?

So I do use reels and they're quite fun.

And my mate and I send each other reels and they're okay.

But there was something about TikTok that just delves into some deep part of your brain.

And if you let let it in there, it's quite hard to get it out.

And I had an unexpected day off last week.

I thought I was on the roster for something and they didn't need me.

So I just, they were like, oh, you've got the day off.

I was like, oh, okay.

And I woke up like you spent the whole thing Doom Scrolling.

I'm not even kidding.

I woke up about 10 something and I checked, I watched the highlights of the Mets game and then I lie in bed and watched me YouTube and then I opened up TikTok.

Four hours went by.

I missed lunch.

I was just, I literally, and I was like, all right, I'm fucking fucking uninstalling this right fucking now.

Because I found that I'd be watching TV and I'd just, my eyes would just drift to my phone.

I'd watch some TikToks.

I was like, what are you doing?

So I literally, honestly, it has to be really bad for your brain.

Cause it just, it's.

Well, imagine how bad it is for a kid's brain.

Oh, awful.

That's good.

It's crazy.

But the other thing is, once you've done that for four hours, or I've done it for like multiple hours,

you try and think, what did I see?

Right.

In that two hours.

Nothing.

And you can't recall anything you saw.

It's awful.

You can't.

Yeah.

Like you, like, you cannot.

And it leaves you with this half memory.

Like, some, you'll be talking to someone and you'll be like, oh, I know something vague about that.

Or I've got a joke about that.

But from, I saw a funny TikTok about that, but I can't remember what it was.

There's no way I can show it to you.

Yeah.

I don't remember.

It's like half, it fills your mind with half-learned garbage.

It's all ephemeral.

It's all very gone.

And, you know, it's just, it was awful.

So

I literally became like this TikTok D-Gen.

And I just thought, look, this is unsustainable.

Get out.

So, so i yeah i quit it got zombified i'd rather i'd rather explore paris in an alternate reality or build a game i don't i don't feel like i need to do that now or play tetras you definitely do not enough stuff to watch uh tick tocks it's dreadful i just want to fart around i want to tinker around with like dumb tinkery games you know that's what that's what i want to do i have been enjoying gaming so far this year we played a few few interesting ones i picked a bad one that me and lydia played on like a murderery detector run that was just, it was, it was one of the games of the year.

It was called No Case Should Remain Unsolved.

It's like a three or four hour game where you sort of put together, like you've got all these transcripts and you're trying to figure out which person said that.

And it's like there's a, there's a missing child and you're like, how do I find out through these transcripts who said what and did what and where is the child now?

And it was a little bit too hard for us, but we, we, um, we struggled through it on stream.

But the problem was it was all, it was like a Korean, all the Korean names.

Oh, and so, and so that, because I sometimes think the big thing is like you don't know what gender they are, right?

That made it more difficult for us, right?

Because you'd hear about this character, Myung, or whatever, and you'd be like, is that a man or a woman or a boy or a girl?

Like, and you're also missing all the sort of

cutesy references, you know, when someone refers to each other as like a certain thing.

It made it more difficult, but it does, yeah.

It was, it, it was, and then, and then obviously we played um a much more chill game um yesterday.

What'd you play?

But, um, oh fuck, what was it called?

This bed we made.

Oh, this bed we made.

Yeah.

It's like a little bed of mine, I'm going to let it shine.

You're playing as like a maid, and you go through people's stuff in their bedroom, in their hotel room,

and you start learning about all the stuff they're up to.

You find their dildo collection.

You find their dildo collection.

I finished Blue Prince.

Well, I got to

room 46 and then kind of...

No, I didn't like lose steam with it, but like I wanted to go do like some trophy stuff stuff or whatever.

But I thought that's a good point to end.

Yeah, I think.

I was

enjoying it.

I'm getting the extra stuff, I think.

Yeah, I'll probably gravitate back around to the extra stuff, but I just

was satisfied enough just getting to the to the

room and stuff.

It is very good.

It's really neat.

I loved it.

Very clever.

Really loved it.

Yeah.

All right.

Well, there you go.

That's our podcast.

Thanks so much for listening.

Some good shout-outs, some good put-downs, some good anti-shout-outs.

I hope everyone out there is doing well.

Yes.

I hope you guys get to go outside and smell flowers instead of Doom Scrolls.

Sniff those flowers, baby.

Let's go.

Sniffers.

Sniffers.

See you later.

See you next time.

Love you.

Bye.

Bye-bye.