Triforce #316: Send the Big Boys in

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Hello, everyone.

Welcome back to the Triforce podcast, regular style.

Regular style.

Or inferior, as some people.

No one said that.

I'm only joking.

I've been up to something interesting this week.

Oh my god.

He is so excited, like he cannot even hold himself back.

Yeah, he literally ran in, sweating, very happy.

I went on a board game retreat.

You don't want to get on a board game.

You don't want to guess.

I love to guess.

Editor, cut it so it sounds like I'm a genius.

Did you go on a board game retreat?

Wow, God, well guessed.

I can't believe

that.

How did you know?

I'm just a genius.

But the thing is, the audience wouldn't be impressed because they understand that we do talk to each other and have a vague knowledge of what each of us are doing and send pictures to each other sometimes.

That's true.

There were 12 of us.

We rented a Airbnb in Hereford.

12 of the coolest dudes ready to spend a weekend playing board games.

Oh, my God.

There kind of was cool dudes.

I felt like I was in cool dude company.

Well,

that immediately red flagged right there.

They were nice, nice, nice people.

Mostly sort of content creators and stuff.

If you're the coolest dude in the room,

maybe you're in the wrong room.

Wow.

And we had a dog as well.

It was a bit of a nightmare journey because I was like, oh, can you just give me a lift to my friend?

He was like, oh, sure, there's room.

And of course, when you've, he's got a small little car, like a VW bug thing.

And it's like four of us plus the dog, plus our luggage, plus all the board gaze, plus the food.

It was like, it was like two hours of driving with me having stuff on my lap and stuff everywhere.

I couldn't move.

That's how full the car was.

It was insanity.

Yeah, that's not fun when you're jammed in like that.

It really is.

Oh, good thing I really had claustrophobia because I was like,

I could handle handle it, but it was insane.

You know, if like the car had had a crash, you know, they could have been like digging through stuff to get me out there.

It's mental.

And we rented like a nice farmhouse where everyone parked up and they just got started straight away playing board games.

Like it was.

Did anything crazy happen?

Like did were there some like great like table flips?

People just losing their minds?

Not really.

My horse fell into a bog.

Fuck this.

The table flips and all the pieces go flying everywhere.

Well, when you rent a place like this, it's usually sort of 12.

It sleeps 12, but two of them are in the lounge.

Two of them are in the camp beds or whatever.

Yeah, we stayed there for like three nights.

You guys just sort of stayed up like the whole time, just going crazy, like pounding back energy drinks and playing board games.

Some people were doing that, yes.

But I went to bed at like midnight because I'm on a reasonably decent schedule.

But of course, no one else did.

And so they were all up till two or three in the morning, you know, making making noise while I'm like there.

Like, did you have to shush them a couple of times?

Did you come down and say, Could you guys keep it down, please?

Some of us are trying to sleep.

No, I just put my like earphones in and I was like, fine.

But it was good.

There was one moment I want to tell you about that was a bit weird, just because I thought it would be interesting.

Okay, no, please share the story.

You don't need to set it up.

You just tell us.

We're here to listen, baby.

So we're playing this game in the middle of the game, and the girl across from me like gets a phone call and she goes like white.

Okay.

And she stands up and she's like oh my god okay okay and so she like she steps away for a second and like is chatting on the phone like quite like kind of seriously anyway she makes a phone call and then like starts laughing and i'm like okay what's going on and so basically she received a phone call from her mother saying that her sister had been kidnapped oh was being was being held hostage okay jesus christ and so her mother was like i don't know what to do we've received a phone call from them they want this amount of money delivered to this place.

Sorry,

this is a thing that actually happened.

This isn't a joke.

So this is a thing that happened to me, yes.

This is insane.

All right, go on.

Well, that didn't happen to you.

Well, no, this is the thing.

I'm telling you why.

It's a problem,

right?

So there, when this was happening to somebody else who was kidnapped, very good.

This is a television, Lewis.

Very good.

Hang on.

So, okay.

I was in a car crash.

I saw it happen safely from the side of the road.

She was using a a phone call.

She was a phone call from her mom and dad who are freaking out.

And she's like, you know, your sister's been kidnapped.

She's been held hostage.

We need to sister some money.

We don't know what to do.

We don't know if she's, you know,

we don't know if we need proof of life or all this stuff.

They're going into all this weird like stuff, right?

You know, a little, a little finger off the left hand.

That's what you're doing.

Oh, my God.

Exactly.

And so she, obviously, as a very smart woman and board gamer, is like, have you tried calling her?

And the parents are like, no.

And so she's like, let me do that.

So she called her sister and a sister picks up and she's like, have you been kidnapped?

And she's like, no.

And it's like, okay, it's a scam then.

Okay, let's call my parents back and reassure them that it's a scam.

So she calls her parents back, tells them that the sister's fine.

You know, it's not she has to call them.

Are you open to that?

I've never had a scam like that before.

Who, how, how is that?

How does it

one receive such a scam?

That was an insane scam.

Well, but apparently, though.

They must have a a lot of malware on their computer or something i don't know what's so here's the thing apparently they played some of her voice down the phone

either it was like an ai thing or like a fake thing or or like a muffled thing or whatever like i don't know whether this is a common scam or like a new one i've not heard it but you know how do they get her voice i wonder they they absolutely like fell for it do you know what it is you know what i bet it is is they had like they had already like almost sent the money as well that their first installment of the money that they wanted to

all these apps, if you think about it, there are tons and tons of apps that say you have to give us permission to access your microphone and your speaker and all the rest of it.

So, you could easily have an app that just hoovers up people's voices and it'll say, like, please give us access to your contact information.

And then that app developer automatically can have a recording of your voice.

And most people save their parents as mum or dad.

So, you just see mum and dad.

You call them, play back a sample of the voice that you've recorded through this dog shit scammy app.

Bingo, bango, you've got a, you've got a potential uh payoff.

That's maybe that's what's happening in America right now with like all the you know, they're gathering all the data and the AI.

Hello, Elon.

I would like

resign.

I've got it on tape.

You want

to be fired.

Yeah.

Send it over.

Trump is like, I've received a message.

Elon, I hope you're safe.

I got a message that said there was a ransom.

Mr.

President, I would like to resign.

Oh, Lulo, I've had a thought.

Can you do you want to start Craigbot just in case?

Oh, wow.

My computer has been really

blue screen twice.

I have blue screen twice in the last week.

I think it's the Windows update.

I've had to say it.

I think it's with.

Are you guys using NVIDIA graphics cards?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I have this thing where, um, I mean, we can talk about this on the podcast.

It's probably kind of interesting.

Um, I've been having this issue where every once in a while, like yesterday it happened four times.

Sometimes it, it never, it doesn't happen and other times it just happens all the time.

Yesterday I was trying to stream.

I was trying to do stuff.

Happened like four times.

My monitors like turn off and then my the fans on my graphics card just go like full speed.

But yeah, I have to just, I have to just like hard turn off my computer and turn it back on again.

Oh, I got a similar similar thing.

It's almost always

there's been some driver update, um, and it's like Windows and whatever the driver is are not cooperating properly.

Yeah, because I've had this before where I'll update my graphics drivers and my computer starts fucking up and crashing and being shit.

Yeah, and then two weeks later, it's magically fixed.

Yeah, and it's like there was some Windows update, some some other update.

It definitely had

definitely been a couple of Windows updates recently, but what I did yesterday was I uninstalled all my graphics drivers and reinstalled them, and it seems more stable.

Touch wood, it hasn't crashed since, but

who fucking knows?

Yeah, I know.

At the same time, you know, like, geez.

Yeah, so there we go.

Oh, here, I wanted to read you guys this.

Uh, from the previous episode, I always like to read the comments on the Triforce and read what the hate is.

Where are you reading these comments?

YouTube.

Oh, okay.

Because, oh, I mean, people comment on the fact sometimes that we don't get as many views on YouTube as we used to, but I think a lot of those views are, first of all.

Um, I don't think we used to upload to as many like podcast platforms.

I feel like a lot of our um people listening are doing it through like Spotify and stuff.

Oh, 100%, yeah, yeah, yeah, and like Apple podcasts and all the rest.

I mean, we upload it to these platforms for convenience.

We don't prefer Spotify, I think they don't, you know, they don't pay us, they don't give us anything extra for it.

Like, it's not like we're getting anything out of it.

Um, we just provide it because it makes it easier.

Some people actually do prefer to listen on YouTube because they have

whatever premium and it can play in the background and it's just convenient.

So, it's entire, there's no reason for it.

Yeah, we boss it on a bunch of platforms, but um, so this guy um commented: uh, P Flax talks a lot of shit considering he lives in a slug mansion and makes his dog eat out of a bowl of slugs.

Nice.

Holy crap, the secret's out.

How did he know?

I have had multiple crazy, legit crazy emails lately.

I've had three, yeah, they come along

in groups.

They do.

I don't want to really talk about them.

I'm not going to name any names, but like I've had a couple of emails just from that don't make any sense.

They kind of they start off like sounding like a fairly normal email, but then they they sort of they take a right turn almost like and start talking about something completely completely elsewhere else completely weird.

Yeah, yeah.

I've had some really weird ones too recently.

Like I got one the other day and it was like, dear Mr.

Lovis, this is our final warning.

You must pay your taxes and i was like

taxes you i heard a communist country this is a fucking tax haven i mean come on

i thought donald trump was president

i haven't had any weird emails luckily um i i am not uh with you guys on this one it's been all quiet on the western eastern northern and southern front for me nothing i've had a lot of weird emails and i it's not that like i think they just come along in maybe i always get weird emails i obviously always get the um emails from people who who purport to be fans and maybe are fans and write in or at least have heard of us and i'm working for some marketing agency now where they say we can grow your kpis 10 using this website integration um we're using this seo optimization for yog cast is it's it's constant um like businessy sounding emails that provide any number of service that's the thing it's like it's a crapshoot they'll provide whenever the first one they'll provide financial services that once they'll provide this, this service that your business isn't doing, you know, and they go through.

And I wonder if they are just looking to hit that coincidence where you're like, oh, I was meaning to sort out that.

And there's an email from a guy who appears to be a fan.

Like, you know,

it's kind of, but it's not.

It's not quite.

You have to have a really strict filter, like a like more strict than ever these days.

There's, it's a, it's a crazy, it's a crazy internet out there now, isn't it?

The one that annoyed me, I emailed the guy back.

He emailed me and said, hey, PFAX, thanks for responding to my previous message.

I'm ready to push ahead with this now.

Call me when you can.

And I looked and I'd never had an email from this guy before.

And I replied and said, you must know that this is our first time ever communicating.

Why would you open with a lie?

And he goes, oh, just trying to get your attention.

Can you talk now?

And I was like, no, fuck off.

Like, how fucking dare you make out that trying to confuse an old man into thinking he's forgotten the conversation.

This poor old man, it's easy to trick.

Yeah, leave the old man out of the water.

You've got my wife held hostage.

Susan?

Oh, my God.

I'll give you my credit card details, whatever.

Oh, my God.

Come in here, Mrs.

Flex.

You're completely held hostage.

This is Susan.

I have been kidnapped.

My god, Susan.

There's some rattlesnake.

She's kidnapped Susan.

Hold on, wait a minute.

The ultimate confused old man.

Talking to Roy, so talking to old men, I was watching some old war movies on YouTube.

Yeah.

Which one?

Oh, just like clips from a whole bunch of them.

Oh, okay.

There's a channel.

I clicked one video and all of a sudden now I've got a bunch.

You know how it is.

So I was looking at them and it says were war movies made in like the 50s and the 60s.

A lot of the guys in these films were actually in the war.

And I thought, it's kind of wild to think that you're making a movie about the horrors of war.

There was no thought of PTSD or trauma or anything like that.

These guys were just straight back out there, pretending to bayonet people, but they must be thinking.

This isn't how we did it.

Yeah.

But if you look at the way that they run and shoot and act, you can tell that they actually know what they're fucking doing.

Oh, right.

In the 70s and 80s, the people that were in war movies didn't look anything like, apart from like, there were some Vietnam veterans, but I don't think they made war movies very much.

I know Oliver Stone was in NAM and then made Platoon.

But if you look at something like Political Jacket, I don't think anyone in that apart from Ali Ermy was actually a veteran.

No.

But they do have, I think some of those movies had

basically like,

you know, people who were military or were in a war and they were like

advisors?

Yeah, like advisors.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like trying to keep it, keep it real.

100%.

But the thing is, I feel like if you watch a movie with, like, I know a lot of people say there's a series called Generation Kill, which is

an HBCU.

David Simon, he did the wire as well.

That was his next project.

So it's about Iraq, the invasion of Iraq.

And apparently, certainly for American servicemen who've spoken about it, that's the most realistic version of what it was like being there.

And I feel like a lot of war movies, especially when it's done with actors who've never been anywhere near anything, and it's written by people who are just like fantasists rather than actual people who know what they're talking about.

is their view of war is completely different.

If you watch Generation Kill, there's a lot of people just fucking about, being bored.

Some of them are insane.

They're really not that troubled by what they're doing.

And, you know, they're more pissed off with the madness of how this all hangs together.

And I thought it's funny to think that those classic war movies in the 50s, the post-war generation that made loads of fucking war movies, I mean, there's tons.

There are tons and tons and tons of them.

Some of them were meant to be kind of like propaganda things as well, though.

They were meant to be.

But after the war, you didn't need it.

Well, I think it means that a lot of like spirits and cohesion and stuff like that like look at us we we we won we're the best you know like like there i think there was some importance in some of that as well yeah they're different movies for they're different types of movies like they should almost be in their own category they're completely different well they're bad at showing the real age of the actual soldiers right because

a lot of the soldiers are very young yeah um in and and war movies certainly those filmed in the 50s and 60s that used real soldiers they were in their you know 40s by then yeah yeah and as a result it's like that's the picture you get you get a picture of a war veteran as a 40 year old man yeah actually it's a 20 year old a 22 year old man yeah yeah um but so i mean that's the thing generation kill they were all very young like pretty much everyone in it was looked like just a big kid yeah that's exactly yeah and that's why it's that's that's more i think realistic and i don't think i don't but again it's a hollywood thing where viewers expect them to be old because that's what they've been culturally yeah

expect like uh 40-year-old Tom Sizemore, like as your, you know, that's what every soldier looks like.

But no, you're right.

It's kids, you know,

they are young, young kids.

I mean, I think that's what

Black Hawk Down did very well: give the idea that these are just boys.

They're not like men.

They're just large boys who are being sent out to fight.

We're sending our large boys out this time.

The biggest boys are.

The biggest boys you can find and slap some guns on them and send them out

these boys aren't big enough

big boys made bigger boys damn it that's why we're getting our asses kicked

if there's any huge women out there get them too

oh

so another thing i was thinking about i i was um i watched a video about like the history of dungeons and dragons a little bit uh i didn't i didn't oh yeah and i was just you know seeing those guys like i want you to close your eyes okay lewis I know you have, what is it, aphantasia or whatever, so you can't imagine stuff.

You can keep your eyes open.

Make notes if you need to.

I want you to imagine a story set in the 1970s, early to mid-1970s.

And a bunch of guys are at college and they invent something like Dungeons and Dragons, all right?

This is not the case.

I just want you to imagine that this setting.

Now, picture in your mind what those guys look like.

They're all incredibly skinny.

They've got like weird 70s haircuts.

They've got those massive guys.

They've got the guys from the Big Bang Theory, pretty much.

I don't know what those guys look like.

Well, just look at

a Google image search for Big Bang Theory and you'll see a bunch of people who look like they're from the 70s.

But I'm pretty sure the show takes place in like the 2000.

No, these guys got like red turtlenecks and like big moppy hairs and stuff.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So that kind of stuff.

But they're like that 1970s skinny guy.

Some of them have mustaches and they're like grinning huge glasses, like glasses that cover half of their face.

Like Deidre Barlow glasses.

Exactly.

Sure.

So that's those guys.

And I was thinking the other day, when you're like, I guess they were like 20 or whatever, you're coming up with the different classes

and stuff for D and D.

And there was no sort of template for thief, cleric, warrior, wizard, barbarian.

No, it was all like loosely based around like Tolkien stuff, though, wasn't it?

I guess.

So it was kind of Tolkien, but Gandalf wasn't like a weak and feeble guy.

He was strong and fought with his sword.

No, but he was

he gave the illusion of being a weak and feeble guy.

But when the brown stuff hit the fan, he was ready to catch it.

He was ready to catch it all.

But I just think it's funny that in that game,

it's very hard to be strong and smart.

So if you want to be strong and big, you have to be stupid.

And if you want to be intelligent, of course, you're skinny and weak.

And I just thought that was such a single-minded way of seeing it.

And it just made me think these guys were massive nerds their entire life, and they saw all the jocks and everything.

They're like, Well, they may be big, but they've only got eight intelligence, whereas I have 17 intelligence.

Right, right, right.

They basically made themselves feel powerful by coming up with a way to be powerful without actually getting any girlfriends.

That's the what that was just a throwaway thought, probably not even worth bringing up.

Yeah, well, no, but you're right, like in this in a sense, it doesn't take much to get someone who is the superman, like that guy who was a doctor trained as a doctor and then went army, went in the army and became a, like, I don't know, he fought in a war, then became a doctor, and then also went into space as an astronaut or whatever.

He did the whole thing, right?

Like some legendary guy, like, oh, you could be like, I don't know, Simon Clark.

You can be good looking and have a PhD and write a book.

I think you mean Dr.

Simon Clark.

Doctor, exactly.

And he's, you know, he's...

He's, he could, it could, he's like a superhero, right?

I could, he could, he could fight a war.

He could hold it.

He could shoot someone, I reckon, if he wanted to.

You reckon he could shoot someone i don't know if he would be shooting someone but joey a good specimen of a man right yeah he's got everything

he'd be more like the kind of guy who would do like a a good faith debate you know i think if he wanted to be a bodybuilder he's the kind of guy who could make a little youtube video and it would say you know look at these my six-month body transformation where you know he he put the because he's the kind of guy who i feel would go through with something like that you know yeah um and he'd get ripped if he wanted to right so i i think i think in some sense like the strength thing could be done by anyone with good willpower.

But I agree, like it's a game, though, P-Flax, right?

You can't have...

It's sometimes in nature,

things,

you only have a certain amount of energy to put towards something.

So like rats deliberately have bad teeth, right?

Because if they had, yeah, yeah, they did a study.

I'm sure I've talked about it, but.

What, they deliberately don't brush, they don't floss.

They don't do anything.

What's the benefit?

So rats deliberately have weak teeth

to eat diapers and other crap on the ground.

They bred rats with strong teeth, but it found that

they were less likely to survive because they have, because the calcium that they had devoted to their teeth instead meant their bones were weaker or some reason, right?

So there'll be, there's always a trade-off, right?

Every animal has like a limited pool of like virus can only do, has only got a limited amount of pool to do either really infectious or really deadly.

Like not, I don't know.

There's some, there's some sort of limits to what they can do, right?

And so, in a sense, like there's this idea of,

you know, antibiotic resistance as a very scary thing, but there's only so many things that a bacteria can be resistant to, right?

Because that takes a part of its energy to code that puts some points into it, yeah, exactly, right?

So, I feel like, and this could be bollocks, but uh, I could be wrong, but I feel like that that's that's what they're trying to show in DD.

It's that, you know, you can't, you can't, you've got a limited amount of time.

You know, if that guy is going to the gym every day, he's not reading books, is he?

Yeah, that's right.

He's not studying spells.

I think it's like, it's, it's all trade-offs to, to balance it, but, you know, they can't, you can't have somebody that can do it all because then everybody would just want to be the guy that can do it all.

You know, you wouldn't have any diversity.

So you, I mean, you're meant to do it in a group, too.

So everybody brings their strengths, you know?

Yeah, I think it's also meant to lean down the kind of more extremes, you know, like you're spent, you know the characters are supposed to have had some sort of backstory where they've spent their entire time as an orphaned waif on the streets of the city and they've learned to blend into the shadows you know that's why they're able to like to hear the word waif that's but i feel like d and d is kind of like uh i i think like part of the the charm of it and the appeal to some people is that you kind of make do you know it's not ideal it's not always it's not always a hundred percent uh efficient and ideal you you just sort of you roll with it you know yeah you literally roll

You're right.

And this is why you see a lot of these games also have downsides to characters.

Characters come with weaknesses that you play with and are interesting.

Project Zomboid's character creation stuff is amazing for all that.

Like people have figured it out and they're bound to.

There's basically negative traits that

cancel each other out and stuff.

So you can get away with getting more positive traits.

You can figure it out.

Anyone can game the game, but that's not what it's supposed to be for.

It's supposed to be

some of the downsides just make for a great story, you know.

Like, you're running, your guy is like a chain smoker and has to smoke like at least once every hour, and you forget to smoke before you're running away from a horde of zombies.

It's like, oh god, I could really do a smoke.

You're running for your life, you know.

Like, it just adds to the uh, to the flavor, I think.

It's fun.

Do you want to hear the definition of waif?

Yeah, what is a waif to you?

What do you think a waif is?

It's like um a fay little london um

girl who has got like a little torn dirty dress and it's like yeah please you'd say waifs and strays so it's

i think it's just like uh impoverished uh people who just end up on uh on the street but maybe

um before their time you know like they're really young so uh a waif from the old french

which means stray beast oh is a person removed by hardship, loss, or other helpless circumstance from their original surroundings.

Right.

The most common usage of the world is to designate a homeless, forsaken, or orphaned child.

Yes,

or someone whose appearance is evocative of the same.

As such, the term is sounding

landing, and it's inbound from

Kuwait.

No, it's leaving.

Oh,

leaving to Kuwait.

It's landing.

That sounded like a landing.

Let me check.

Let me check.

There's a lander.

No, that's taking on.

Sorry.

was

come on come on heading to school

oh oh okay

yeah i wish i was on that plane yeah i wish you were too you yeah sorry i don't mean that

because i wouldn't be on this podcast

i wouldn't have to see you next week when i come oh that'll be good that'll be good

you're doing uh you're doing uh a little dnd next week aren't you you're going to do a little mystery quest yeah i hope so yeah i'm planning to with uh mr thomas uh angory tom clark it's It's definitely the hot ticket at the Yoggs right now is to get invited to a mystery quest.

Oh, yeah.

I love it.

It's great fun.

It's the most, it's the most hot ticket item you can get if you get your, all of us are like waiting in the wings for an invite to the exclusive club of cool people.

It's funny how that is, though.

Like Tom is the coolest guy and everyone wants to be his friend.

And it's funny how that wasn't always the case.

Even when you're in your 40s, Joey, it's still the same.

It's like school.

Tom is very cool.

He's a lot of fun to hang out with.

And he's just, he's got a, he's got a great demeanor of relaxation and chill.

Yes.

And I don't think I have seen Tom angry, but it's not often.

I've made Tom angry occasionally.

And he's just, he's a guy that I like hanging out with.

And doing the game snipe stuff, I feel like he's an excellent DM.

He really enjoys seeing where people go with stories and characters.

And he's, he's a great enabler as a DM.

He's not like some DMs who try to sort of stamp themselves on the game and make it about them.

And I'm not talking about anyone in the yachts.

I'm talking about like DMs that everybody knows a DM like this.

Tom is excellent at.

I think I'm a bit like that.

I think I was a bit of a bad

DM, and this is why I haven't really done much lately.

Tom's been doing it for years, though, and he's very good.

He knows how to keep everyone.

Mark Humbes is allegedly a good DM.

Mark Humbes is.

He is a very good DM.

Yeah, very, very good.

Yeah, really good.

They know what they're doing.

I think

they, it's hard to not be the main character because everyone is sort of forcing with streamers as well.

You know, with streamers and YouTube,

as the DM, though, you know, you are guiding people, and a lot of questions come your way.

A lot of, you know, you have to do all the NPCs, you have to settle the scenes, you have to answer a lot of questions,

you know.

And I think it's tricky to balance like getting your players to the thing that you've prepared for them,

um, but also making them feel like they're choosing the way to go.

You know, it's

you know what?

The hardest thing I think, certainly when I used to DM, is that I would have what I thought was a really cool story and a really fun interaction and adventure, and they're going the wrong way.

Don't, don't go left.

Why are you talking to that guy?

You know, and you're trying to drive them towards this

really good story.

You interrupt this elaborate plan and this really cool character and this really cool story.

And there's like a little slime with a face or whatever.

And they're like talking to the slime and they're like, how big is the slime?

How big is this?

What color is the slime?

I'm going to try and feed the slime food.

You're like, guys, the slime was just, and now, but now you're like, well, that's right.

Fucking go in with the slime here because apparently they're obsessed with it.

It's like that.

And also,

the very worst thing is when you've set up, you just mention something in passing as like a piece of flavor for something in the room.

And every single person in the party is hell-bent on cracking what they think is this mysterious fireplace.

It's just a fucking fireplace.

And they're like,

they're climbing up it.

I know, I can never push every

like when they're like, no, no, honestly, it is just a fireplace.

There's nothing special about it.

But is there?

You always have to keep pushing it because you never know, you know?

Yeah.

It's tricky as well because there's usually, with Tom's ones, some sort of mystery at the core, like some sort of twist or some sort of secret, right?

Mystery quest is the thing.

And it's very hard to...

Because you're trying to solve that, but you don't want to like

thing is like and Tom's like trying to give you hints to it, but nothing to give it away because the last thing he wants to do is give away the twist too early, right?

And so you are fumbling in the dark.

And sometimes you feel real stupid when you realize what the twist is.

You're like, oh God, we really should have noticed that.

He gave us so many clues, you know?

And sometimes you think you figured it out or you figured it out like slightly wrong and you're convinced that's the answer.

And then when you get the real one, you're just like, oh, I'm confused.

You know what I mean?

Because then it's like it's almost like an alternate explanation that does work, but isn't the truth, yeah, right?

Um, and so, and that leads you to make these odd choices in the game, which get your character killed or something, and that could be quite frustrating.

Yeah, um, so I think that's a good idea.

I think I remember the first DD adventure I ever did, Lulu.

And my friend's older brother, uh, he he DM'd, he did Dungeons and Dragons with his friends.

He was, he was like four or five years older than us, and he agreed to dungeon master for us after we begged him for like weeks because we would just just make characters we just make characters all day long making and equipment characters making equipment characters we really wanted to play he was like fine and he had this adventure and we were exploring this little ruined sort of few houses a little ruined village um and there was there was a fireplace which is why this jumped to mind and uh we were like he told us we we he's like and there's a a burned out fireplace here and we look in the fireplace and we're like is there any treasure in the fireplace goes no it's a burned out old fireplace so i'm like i'm gonna look up the the chimney and see if I can see anything.

He's like, you can't see anything.

It appears to be blocked.

So me and my friend are like, oh, there's going to be treasure up there.

So I get my sword and I poke around up there.

And he's like, sighs and rolls some dice.

He's like, right, yeah, all the stuff, the debris in the chimney falls down and you take this much damage and he killed my character.

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Well, this is one of the things that happened in the first.

I remember a very embarrassing, I was very embarrassed about it at the time.

We were doing the first Yogs quest, which Tom wrote and planned for the first time.

which one was the very first one.

Was that the one that we did in the

pub?

And

I remember something happened and I killed one of you.

Did you?

Yeah.

And Tom was like, no, no, no, no, no.

Someone had done something stupid and I rolled some dice and I was like, you're dead.

And your character's dead.

And Tom came up to me.

He was like, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Do you know what I mean?

He

interrupted.

I was like, don't do that.

Like, that's not how you do this kind of thing.

Because I really didn't know what I was doing.

And I was like,

I'm kind of bad, honestly.

I think it was either because you were frustrating me or you were pissing me off or whatever, you guys, characters.

One of you, you were very annoying.

Jeez, thanks.

Yeah, I think I might have killed you, actually, Sips.

I don't remember dying, but was it, was it, was it on the space?

Maybe it was on the spot the Dorg's Quest 2, the space one, where I shot you.

You, you like, looked out the window of a spaceship or something.

I did three.

I did the one in the pub.

I did the spaceship one because I remember being really sick.

And it was, it was the night before we were were going to uh to blizzcon for maybe the first time i'm not sure and then the third one i did was the uh remember we used to rent that little um

set warehouse place that had like the slopey wall we did the prison the prison zombie apocalypse prison one oh i was a prisoner yeah i forgot about that yeah i forgot yeah that was uh wow yeah yeah we used to do that yeah i used to do all the games really stuff there too remember we used to play like snakes

used to play unemployed and stuff yeah that was real fun it was Well, I mean, that was at the old office.

That was a long time ago.

That was very, very long ago.

It's funny what it's funny the embarrassing moments that you remember that everyone else has probably forgotten.

But I, you know, at the time, I remembered, you know, being really sort of red-faced at the beginning.

God, for me, there's just been so many, I just don't even think I can feel embarrassed anymore.

You get these, I get these all the time.

Like, I get, you get, you sometimes, sometimes you'll get a memory triggered about something really embarrassing you did when you were a kid or when you were in school, you know, and you'll just think, oh, fuck God.

And you like almost like cringe in real life about how

awkward you were.

Yeah.

They stick with you, those

as you get older, unfortunately.

Give me an

let's all think of an embarrassing moment, like a really embarrassing moment that wasn't something awful, but something that'll occasionally come back to you and you just cringe thinking about it.

Oh, God, I have so many.

I have so, so, so many.

I couldn't even pick up.

There was this like, there was this bit where I was

at a restaurant, and there was a girl there who I was sitting next to.

And she was, I think we were, we were, you know, I was, I was kind of into her.

I was single at the time.

And wait, how old are you at this?

Oh, like 29, 30.

I'm going to say.

This is during yogs.

During yogs, like 10 years ago.

This is PY.

This is PY.

This is like posts, post-yogs.

This is like, I should know better.

Right.

And

we'd be chatting about what to order.

And

I sort of ordered a thing.

and then i said i pointed to this girl and i said oh we'll share and she looked at me like uh like i'd made the decision for her and i was like instantly i was like mortified because she kind of she just sort of you know suddenly like i'm like pushing this on onto her do you know what i mean and it just like it made it like really awkward because i wasn't sure i was like oh god

and i didn't want to go like oh god sorry no maybe we don't share sorry like a dig a hole yeah i just kind of rolled with it but felt like i'd really put my foot in it.

And I think about how that from time to time.

I remember we were walking away from the restaurant afterwards

with everyone as a group.

And she was like, obviously trying to like distance herself from me.

And I remember she was like, oh, I'm going to, I'm going to have to get a cab.

And everyone was like, bye, bye, bye.

And I was like, oh, bye.

And I sort of waved to her.

And she looked at me, like one passing glance at me over her shoulder.

And she was just like, I don't want to see you again kind of thing.

That was like in her eyes.

And I was like, oh, cringe.

There were some There were some other cringe things, you know, just that we happened to mention.

Like, I was like, oh,

do you want to, like, I didn't want to, I think I was like, I said something along the lines of like, oh, how, how do you, do you want to, like, do you have a, do you have a Twitter account or whatever?

And she's like, oh, no, I don't use Twitter.

And I was like, oh, okay.

Steam?

Steam?

Do you know what I mean?

I was like, trying to, I was trying to get her number in a way that was like not.

The nerd's way to get a girl's number.

I'm just full of,

I'm just full of like cringe moments from that.

That

they stick with you, right?

And obviously, she's probably forgotten about this, I'm sure.

I wonder if she has.

That would be funny to get her side of it.

I'm sure she remembers cringier moments from that I've

seen.

I mean, you're

your journey.

She cringe is another person's baby.

To like for us being, you know, in our 40s,

you know, close, getting close to 50s.

God, there's, there's a whole wake of cringe moments behind all of us, I'm sure.

You know, like, I don't think anyone knows what they're doing precisely at any really given point.

You know, you figure it out and the process of figuring it out is you make some pretty big mistakes along the way.

Not

hopefully not huge ones, but certainly ones that you look back on, you're like, oh my God, I can't believe like I said that or I did that or I thought that, you know, like it's, it's inevitable.

I remember one of one of the worst sort of cringy moments that I can think of was

me giving my speech on my wedding day.

Like when the groom has to stand up and you have to thank a certain group of people, that's like traditional.

You thank, I think, the mother of the bride for the flowers or something like that.

Like there's just various people that you thank.

Yeah.

And then you give a little speech and you crack on.

And I did my, I was so scared of speaking in front of like even two people at that point um where i was very very shy and standing up in front of all those people i could just feel the sweat beating on my forehead instantly and i could barely speak i think i spoke for about 30 seconds at like a ridiculous pace trying to get it over with and as soon as it was done i just sat down

absolutely the worst

uh marriage speech ever.

It was, it was embarrassing.

That is, that is really related.

I don't remember,

I'm exactly the same.

Like, you know, going out every time I have to go out in front of anyone, even the groups here, and even after doing this for all this time, you know, every time, like, even before, like, the, the, um, I still get it a lot before the first Jingle Jam stream, like every year, before the Jaffa Factory stream, my heart is like pounding.

I'm like really nervous.

Like, going out at YogCon on stage every time, I would be absolutely shitting myself.

Yeah, I think everybody was nervous at YogCon, really.

I know that a a lot of people that you think would be fine, being in a live audience, it is really different.

I mean, because I've done it a lot with Dota and stuff, you do get used to it.

Yeah.

And you get into a mindset of you don't really think about where you are and what you're doing.

So you almost ignore the fact that you're standing on a stage in front of hundreds or thousands of people and that there might be tens of thousands of people watching.

You just ignore all that.

That's not happening.

You're just saying things and it's almost like you're watching from.

Have you ever seen Being John Malkovich?

Yeah,

I don't remember that movie at all, though.

Okay.

Well, when he's being John Malkovich, he's just sort of behind John Malkovich's eyes and watching what John Malkovich is doing and saying.

And that's what it's like for me when I'm speaking on stage.

Oh, my God, me too.

Yeah.

I'm not me.

I'm watching you say and do these things.

Somehow, my, I'm like, I'm sure a lot of people can relate to this as well.

Like, you, you practice your lines, you practice things you want to say so much, and then you just hope that the autopilot says them.

Yeah, you know, you autopilot through it.

That's how there's no, like,

and I think, do you know what?

I think this is why we're always slightly late to live streams and things like this, right?

Not oh, no, I don't think that's okay.

Well, here's the, here's the thing.

I think we're just a fucking tardy bunch of idiots, to be honest with you.

Well, I think some of the things that I get tardier the further I go in life as well.

I just if I'm if I'm early to a live stream, right, and I'm sat there or I'm backstage, I'm sat there for five minutes.

They're like, yep, five minute warning, five minute warning, right?

Four minutes, you know, three minutes, and I've got nothing to do.

There's no one there, we're not chatting, we're not having fun.

I'm just like thinking, I'm getting in my head.

Oh my god, it gets worse and worse and worse, right?

And so I think that's why it's easier for me to turn up on time and go live straight away.

Like oftentimes, our

people will turn up exactly at the time the live stream starts.

Like Duncan, Lydia, Ben, they will arrive in the office a minute before five o'clock.

Really?

You know, or they will aim to arrive in the office.

And if there's any traffic, they're five minutes.

I like to get places like a little bit early.

Not like, not like, actually, not like an hour early.

But like, I like

five, ten minutes just to like.

Part of it is because, though, I think that they avoid the discomfort of being there early and having to wait for the start.

See, for me, it's more like I just want to acclimatize.

Like, I've just been outside.

So I just need to get used to being inside.

You know, like, you know, when you come in from the outside and your face is all fucking red and you're like, right, right, right.

Panting because you've, you know, you've been exerting yourself and stuff.

I just need like a minute to just sit down and compose myself.

I'm not being late.

I fucking hate being late.

I don't, I don't think I'm late.

Generally, it's a very good reason if I'm like, yeah.

If someone's like, we need you there at 10, I'm there.

I'm usually pretty good for time.

Like

very occasionally, I'll be late, but it'll always be late.

There'll always be a reason.

It wouldn't be a lot of time.

I mean, I will say

if we're talking about something, you're not talking about the Triforce podcast here, are you?

Well, that, I mean, you're late like every Triforce.

I know, but I think it's like, I think it's, it's kind of accepted now that one of us is going to be

running five or ten minutes late.

It's never like.

Also, we're all at home.

Yeah.

It's not like I'm meeting you at a place and waiting for you.

This is a nice thing.

My kids are all like small still, though, too.

I still, I don't know.

Exactly.

You can't be like, I'll be there at 10.

It's like, well, we'll see.

We talk about this a lot.

And I think it's where where you this is a symptom of trifles we almost always start at five or ten past 10.

we don't always start on the hour when we record right and i think it's it's almost because we all know that we're all gonna plan to be here at 10 but something's gonna come up right always and and and as a result we end up actually very consistently starting within 10 minutes it's actually the same with our um main channel recordings we we aim to start

those aim to start

11.

everyone's

not to turn up so i get there at 10.30 and I'm ready to go.

And there's always someone,

Duncan, who turns up ridiculously late and wanders in, like, hello, and hasn't set anything up and needs help with the.

It drives me mad.

It drives me mad.

It's not always Duncan.

It's always, it's usually someone.

Think is when we have these recordings with eight to ten people, as we have been doing recently, someone's got some problem with their drivers or someone's got some problem with group recordings are always

their recording goes wrong and it's all or someone's going to to be late.

And we usually try and have a substitute, but we don't always.

And so we are very consistent for what we do.

And

I can either be singing in my head, I say, arrive at 10.30.

That's when I will expect people to turn up.

But I really, in my head, know that we're not going to start until 11.

And then if it starts getting into like quarter past 11 and we haven't started, then I'm going to get pissed off.

Like the other day.

I actually was really embarrassing.

We did this recording with No Rolls Bard, right?

And one of them, they're lovely, brilliant, funny, awesome guys, by the way, but they're not regular content creators.

And so neither of them have like a streaming, neither of them have a streaming computer or streaming PC.

They have streaming table.

Neither of them have streaming table.

We should get them streaming table.

Come to Rosvodov Casino and Bar.

They can stream from here.

Stream from table.

We have table.

Stream from table.

It's table.

So

neither of them had computers, God bless them.

Neither of them had Minecraft accounts, God bless them.

So we got them set up with Minecraft accounts and wait, they sound like normal, well-rounded people.

They are.

They are genuinely are.

And of course, they come into this nonsense, which is our recording server with 10 people yelling over each other, you know, and they're trying to get set up.

Anyway, it gets this point where we've, one of them's working fine and the other one, we couldn't, we just could not get Parsec working.

We couldn't get him to join in any way.

So I said to Silas, because we were half an hour over the time limit, I was like, Zilas, dude, just, you've got to sort this out.

We, we are like running.

We're never going to, we, we have to just do something now.

And he was like, and the problem is I broadcast that to everyone by accident.

So me telling Paul Zilas

went to everyone for a start, which I felt terrible about.

And then the second thing was like, I was like, you'll just have to be a surrogate for him, right?

You're going to have to do the moving in the game.

And he's going to tell you what you're going to have to play his character.

Oh, no.

So he, Zilas was like a blank, like a like a fucking blank doll and uh the guy was telling him everything to do and so it's like say this to this person you walk over here it was it was kind of fine and funny but like i just felt like it was such a cackhanded solution to

like dealing with a problem it was like you know it was like

you know you're we are like a group of problem solvers though and so it's like we want to get this guy to play with us in minecraft right he doesn't have minecraft so we'll get him there So then he doesn't have this.

So we get in this.

And then he can't do this.

So then we do this.

And it's like the solutions just pile up and pile up because Nick and Nick and Zaris were like behind the scenes.

Like, Nick's like, oh, I can code this thing, which will send his voice through virtual audio cable.

I'm just like, that's not how Nick talks.

I can code this thing for you right now, Lily.

He's a good cutter, Lewis, isn't he?

I'll fucking knock that up for you, Lily, with Minecraft.

God love him.

We've honestly had a great, great time lately with the recordings.

We've been playing lots of different games.

We've been sending lots of people off to different places.

We've been.

Look, when we did the Blood on the Clock Tower, people hated my performance in Blood on the Clock Tower so much.

Did they?

The comments were so bad.

Pyrrhion is a fucking idiot.

Pyrrhion is ruining this.

Watching Pyrrhion fumble around and lead everyone down the wrong path is killing me.

I'm so bad at those games.

It makes such good viewing, though.

No, people hate that.

It's hard when

it's hard when there's like an established group and you come in as a guest, though.

There's always like, it's always tough because people are used to it being a certain way.

And then if you come in and you, you don't know the game or you play differently or whatever, you'll always get people that are like, oh, this is droning in.

You got to appreciate this always happens with Yogs.

If there's a game that comes out that's actually any good, everyone plays it to death before we can get a video out, right?

And that doesn't really help because a lot of times it means that

this kind of happened with with Bodh and the Clock Tower.

We've got a group of Discord friends who play in the evenings and they've played 500 games with each other.

Do you know what I mean?

They've played so many games.

And so as a result, it's kind of like you are coming into, you've played five games.

You know, you're coming into a group of people who are way more experienced.

Yeah, yeah.

And so I think that that is...

the comparison, not that you're bad, it's just that everyone else is more clued up.

And to be quite honest, it's quite hard because we do do a quite advanced script for these people and i tend to give newer players an easier role like a generic bad guy or a generic good guy like i'm not going to give them something which is insane um although i did give you a more complicated role to be fair to you because i thought it would be funny i thought you know making you this confused role and seeing your confusion would be funny and it was like i think we are at the end of the day making um content and i think that having a a dad bumble around not realizing what's going on is perfect Your role was to cause confusion, and you did.

And I think that people saying, like, oh, I'm feeling played his role wrong.

It's like, well, he was deliberately given the role to cause confusion.

Like, that's

how this game works.

He's the confused person in the whole game.

I know.

But

I love that game, and I love these games that we play with.

They are very inclusive.

Hey, speaking of

co-op games, if you guys are ever looking to do a fun two-player co-op game, that Split Fiction is out.

It's a really good thing, oh yeah that's 10 hours

man it's like it's like imagine uh you know like portal 2 co-op you know like uh it's it's just like like fun little problem solving off the success of it takes two

yeah loads of cool like um

uh mechanics and stuff like the game the game is like 50 games in one sort of thing it's really fun it's it's it's worth a playthrough if you have somebody that you can play it with

there's an absolute monster about to go over listen to this fucker brewing up.

Can you hear that?

Is that a 380?

Is that like a real?

That's a fucking 380.

You can hear it.

It just sounds

the intake.

I'm surprised you haven't flown out of the roof of your house.

It just gets sucked into the sky.

It gets sucked in, yeah.

Okay, if that's an A3

and it's just taken off, that bad boy is heading to like Hong Kong or something.

Reasonably close, Singapore.

Okay.

Oh,

that was that second guess.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

I wish I was on that.

I've been to Singapore.

I went to clean it.

Would you recommend that?

Oh, Singapore was beautiful.

Okay, have you ever been to Glinster?

Have you ever been to Edinburgh before?

Yeah, yeah.

Is it worth going?

Oh, God, yeah.

Beautiful.

What about Glasgow?

No, I've not been to Glasgow.

Well, I did when I was very much younger, but we were just traveling through Edinburgh.

Ask Ravs about it.

Yeah, well, Ravs, I know.

You don't want to go to Glasgow.

No, no, Ravs would say that it's better than Edinburgh because he's from there, right?

Edinburgh, Shape.

Well, that's what he said.

He would say that, but then if you ask him, should you go, which one should you go to he might have a different answer right okay you know because he likes you okay so and then what about uh dublin there's patriotism and then there's the chance of getting your friend stabbed be like heroin if so go to class

what about what about dublin and what about like uh belfast you think that those are places

so my mate lived in belfast for a year um and i think mrs f's been there it's okay it's quite a depressing place because it's quite concretey and run down.

From my experience, anyway, from what people have told me, it's not a particularly pretty city.

Apologies to anyone from Belfast who's appalled by that comment.

I'm sorry.

Dublin is much prettier.

Dublin is really, really good.

Yeah, I think Dublin's very nice.

I have lived

in the British Isles for over 20 years.

Right.

And I have never been to Scotland.

I've never been to Wales and I've never been to Ireland.

But I mean, you've probably never been to the end of your road.

You don't leave the house.

I've been to the end of my road, okay?

A couple of times.

Both sides, yes.

Okay.

I have

both sides.

Yeah, both ends.

Is there a bit of your road that you've never walked on?

Yeah, because the road that I live on kind of twists up, it heads like deep into the countryside eventually.

Right.

And twists around and stuff.

So I don't know if I ever have been to the far end of my road.

I think I probably have.

One end definitely ends, and then

the other one just goes like forever across the whole line.

I remember one time I came to the island, I cycled around the whole line.

This was when I was into cycling.

And I feel like I explored more of the island in one day than Sips has in the 20 years.

I don't know.

You'd be surprised.

I haven't been around on a bike, but I have driven down

some pretty treacherous green lanes and stuff.

I've been around.

I've done my fair.

He's not done till I'm tired.

He's had to drop people off at birthday parties out in the middle of nowhere and

working on

nowhere on Jersey.

Had to pick people up and stuff.

I think I've driven around this place so much that I could be a fairly good taxi driver over here.

I think I'd be able to do it.

I think.

Okay.

Yeah.

You got to have a book, though.

There are a lot of little lanes that nobody knows about.

There's

a cheat sheet book that the taxi drivers use to find places that they've never heard of before.

I thought they had to have it all in their memory.

No, I mean, well,

now, but that's cheating.

I think they use a combination of the two because some of them are like old school, you know?

They're like, yeah, technophobes.

I want to be one of those guys.

So that plane that took off, do you remember the one that was going to Singapore?

Yes.

It's already

in Singapore.

Oh, my God.

It's already flown over the whole thing.

Do we have a blackout?

We are getting old, but like it's literally already flying it's already over london it's way past london yeah well

they go like 600 uh they're in the sky miles an hour yeah but so they they can't go maximum speed until they get up above the clouds and it's it's they don't just sort of hoik it back and just gun it straight up you know it's like a slow acceleration i if i remember rightly from watching uh youtube channels by pilots when when they're above like after takeoff they have to sort of bring the engine down um a bit because you don't want to be like full bore over towns and cities.

It'd be too loud and obnoxious.

So they sort of coast up to their 35,000 feet and then they're fucking.

And then they, and then they rip it.

They just let it fuck out.

That's the command.

The pilot says, fucking rip it.

Fucking rip it, dude.

Fucking rip it.

Engaging, rip, dude.

Rip, engage, bro.

Sick.

Oh, man.

Did I tell you guys about my disappointing meal I had the other week?

I can't remember.

I spoke about it on stream, but I didn't.

I don't know if I told you guys about it.

No,

you've been, you talked a lot about, you did the bingo, the Gordon Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares bingo.

Right.

And then spoke a little bit,

I want to say condescendingly to us about how you love food so much and you're good at making it and we're idiots because we don't.

I did not, I don't believe I called you guys idiots.

I think you were insinuating, though, that.

No, I think I was insinuating that certainly...

I apologize.

If that's the case, I apologize.

I'm just yanking your crank here.

I'm not.

I'm just joking, yeah.

I'm pulling your chain.

But

did I tell you that I found myself giving a Ramsey-style review of a restaurant while I was in it?

Oh, my God.

He didn't tell us that.

So I've watched so much of Kitchen Nightmares over the last couple of weeks, and I've been doing the bingo for them.

I've done like 40 episodes of bingo now.

And we know the format of the show down to an absolute T.

And what I was doing was

carry on.

Is it because of the planes taking off?

No, I just like wander into the back kitchen and start just pre-laughing at this idea of

containers around us.

I'm just doing an episode of this image in the restaurant.

What the fuck is that?

Oh my God.

So I was eating the meal.

And when Godo comes into the restaurant and eats the meal for the first time, he's like, it's bland, dry,

not fresh.

such a shame and then and then the girl comes to take it away he goes thanks darling he goes yeah thank you darling i'll have the next dish thank you because let's hope something improves that was terrible uh and then i i was doing that like my daughter's like oh my chicken's dry and i ate it i was like it's bland

no seasoning and i really i really felt like i was embodying good

um but it was i didn't say anything to them but then when the server comes at the end to how was your meal because i had left quite a bit and my daughter had left quite a bit uh mrs eff and her brother brother had only eaten a decent amount of what they'd ordered.

And he was like, How was it?

I was like, honestly, very disappointing.

And he's like, oh,

he says, oh, oh, hold on a minute.

And he goes off and gets a pen and paper.

He goes, please tell us.

We want all the feedback as important.

I was like, okay.

So I spent like three minutes running down all this shit that was wrong with this meal.

And yeah, and then my daughter's chipping in and saying that as well.

And he's writing it all down.

He takes it to the manager.

He takes it to the manager.

Takes it to the manager who's right there.

And she looks at the list, looks at me, and just turns away.

Doesn't come over and say everything.

He asked.

He asked.

Guys, I have to step away for two seconds.

I'm so sorry.

I'll be right back.

Sorry, but he thing is he called your bluff, right?

You were like,

I called his bluff.

Well, actually, that's true.

Your thing is like, if you if you do say it's fairly disappointing, then he comes back with a notepad and paper, and you're like, oh, God, I don't have time to fucking tell him everything that was wrong with my meal.

I just

because you don't want to come up, come out with something like exactly his, he called, you called his bluff, But the thing is, like, if he came back with that notepad and you've been like, oh, well, it wasn't, just wasn't very salty or it wasn't nice, wasn't very nice.

Like,

how is he supposed to write that?

You know, he could almost just give you the, but you giving him all the stuff.

Oh, I broke down the entire meal.

I had ex Benedict.

I had eggs Benedict.

And I said to him,

this isn't even on a muffin.

This is just the bottom of a burger bun.

That's just raw.

It wasn't, it's raw.

It wasn't fucking raw.

It wasn't toasted or anything.

It was just like, take the bottom of a burger, slap it on a a plate.

That's it.

And it had

the ham on top was not a nice thick cut of ham, like a ham steak you'd expect for Ex Benedict.

It was just the kind of ham you'd get, like wafer thin ham from a pack at Tesco's.

It was like that.

No, that's bad.

Poached egg on top.

The egg was done fine.

And then the holiday sauce was really sour.

Like it tasted like it had come from a packet.

And I made this point to him and he was like, oh,

and then my daughter said,

come over here.

Sorry.

Simon, Simon, do you want to just

Simon?

Louis, you go.

Play Minecraft mid me, Louis.

Simon wants me to play Minecraft with him because I'm tearing him.

Play Minecraft with me, Louis.

Pete!

You're playing Minecraft!

Jaffa Factory!

Where are we running?

It's my birthday today, Louis.

Happy birthday.

This is my birthday.

Happy birthday.

Pyrrhian says, happy birthday.

Thank you, Pyrrhian.

Happy birthday, mate.

Sip's here.

He's had to pop away for a minute.

Oh, I'm sure he did.

I'm sure he did.

He heard you come and he legged it.

Yeah, because he wants to be the centre of bloody attention.

Oh, tell me about it, man.

And he can't be if I'm the birthday boy.

Exactly.

All right, well, Lulu, we'll let you go then, mate.

If you've got to do Minecraft with the birthday boy, we'll go.

All right.

All right, do a good job.

I've loaded Minecraft up.

Look, I've got it.

Look, you're not in the server.

We'll cut the podcast here.

I haven't done lose news, but that will have to be for next time.

We'll do it next time.

We'll do it next time.

Yeah.

All right.

Thank you, everyone.

Goodbye.

And we'll see you next time.

Goodbye.

Sips isn't even back.

No, he's not.

It's all right.

Just goodbye.

There you go.

Goodbye.