Nightmare Tourists | Triforce #331

1h 32m
Triforce! Episode 331! Lewis reads some camping reviews clearly written by uppity city-folk and uses ChatGPT to try to do a basic task (and it fails terribly), Pyrion shares his scathing review of Dungeon Crawler Carl while Sips heartily recommends the Portaloo!

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Transcript

Pickox.

Hi, I'm Kristen Bell.

And if you know my husband Dax, then you also know he loves shopping for a car.

Selling a car?

Not so much.

We're really doing this, huh?

Thankfully, Carvana makes it easy.

Answer a few questions, put in your van or license, and done.

We sold ours in minutes this morning, and they'll come pick it up and pay us this afternoon.

Bye-bye, Trucky.

Of course, we kept the favorite.

Hello, other trucky.

Sell your car with Carvana today.

Terms and conditions apply.

Packages by Expedia.

You were made to occasionally take the hard route to the top of the Eiffel Tower.

We were made to easily bundle your trip.

Expedia, made to travel.

Flight-inclusive packages are at all protected.

Well, well, well,

welcome back to the Triforce Podcast.

Oh,

boy.

Can it really be

another exciting podcast brought to you by three very wild and crazy guys?

How's everybody doing?

Oh, splendid.

Yeah.

I had a big clear out in my office.

Right.

For some reason, I decided to do it on the hottest day of the year.

I didn't realize it, or one of the hottest days of this coming heat wave.

And so I chucked out.

I'm not kidding.

My car is fucking full.

Do you

use a similar

system to me whereby the car just acts as like an extra storage space for stuff that needs to go to charity and also to the dump?

No.

I use my car is always full of stuff.

Okay.

Basically, because I accumulate stuff over a week and then on the weekend.

And then you dump it.

I like to go to the dump and then to the charity shops.

So I tend to use, that was the thing is my office was that area.

Oh, right.

The things that we were like, oh, we don't want to throw this away, but we don't know what to do with it.

We'll put it in Ted's office.

So it comes in here.

And then, or it'll be like, we'll find somewhere else to hide it or the shed or just around the side of the house if it's big rubbish that we don't want.

And then we'll be like, we'll do a tip trip.

But you've got to book it.

And go to the tip is not like a casual thing.

It's like a big fucking production.

and i i hate fucking going there because the whenever you're taking something the lads who work there are sort of like border patrol guards where they want to know what's in that black bag yeah i'm like it's just rubbish they're like yeah but which kind of rubbish because they don't want electronics mixed up with wood no because they need to go so i'm like well it's a bit of wood and a bit of electronics like ah yeah separate so i'm like fuck me so i gotta couldn't smuggle the rubbish into the tip properly so now i got to separate it out which is fair enough But the thing is, the amount of stuff I'm throwing out from here, I mean, my God, I had all the kids like old artwork and school books and stuff from when they were in primary school.

I thought, oh, I can't throw that away.

And now I'm like, this is getting fucking chucked.

Like, I cannot hold on to this scratched out crayon drawing any longer because I've got 500 of them and it's taking up space.

So I clear out so much stuff.

I have the floor of my office is now clear, which it has not been in years.

Like I can walk around it.

Managed to fit the air conditioner.

I've got that in the office now.

So when it gets hot, pop that on.

Oh, it's just, it's great.

It's like a breath of fresh air.

And I realized that my office was like a reflection of my mind, that was getting cluttered and lacking concern and care so now I thought let's have a clear out we'll fucking we'll go back to having to managing things properly yeah isn't there like a general black bin you can just throw everything in

where in the dump oh yeah no but they will say what's in that like

my office is a true reflection of my mind as well it's just full of dead prostitutes uh oh my god it's piled high that's a norm macdonald reference right there right up to the rafters yeah i've so do you have like like boxes that you put stuff in that they fill up, or is it just like random shit on the floor?

Do you have any plastic rubber-made containers that you just put a lot of stuff in?

No, um, so, so, what I've got in my office at the moment, I've got like one, two, three, garage shelving, yeah.

So, the big garage shelving, because I knew I had a lot of comics and crap that I wanted to keep.

So, this shelving is big, it's four shelves, and each shelf is full.

So, I've got like so many books and comics and games, and mainly books and comics and games, in all honesty.

Um, but I just, I just had like stuff like I had loads of bot action armies that I hadn't used because I think Ward sent a bunch to us after we did some of the bot action bids.

So I've got like two British Army starter packs.

And I'm like, well, I'm never going to make those, but I'm never going to chuck them out.

So I might bring them down actually when I come down next week, Lulu.

Yeah, Alex is going to do a boot sale.

He's just like, it sounds like he's in the other room.

Sorry, I'm looking away.

The local game store big are doing a boot sale and Alex is taking a bunch of our stuff to it and then we're going to just give the money we get get to charity.

Yeah, great.

I'll put them aside now.

Because I mean they're literally it's it's the do you remember the the the dad's army one that we did?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I've got that set, which I don't know how I got it, but they sent it to me.

We've already got it.

The paratroop has already got that and then the two starter packs.

One of them is open because I just want to see what was in it, but essentially that's four that that can go straight away to charity.

So we'll pop that there.

Yeah, that's like that's like 50 quid.

Yeah, right there.

I have a copy of Secret Hitler that I've never played because I did the Kickstarter.

And my family are not into it because it's got the word Hitler in it.

I guess it's difficult to give to a charity shop as well if it's got the word.

It's Secret Hitler.

Yeah, it literally says Hitler.

But I do have a couple of games that I haven't used.

I'll fucking bring these down as well.

We have a giveaway shelf in the office, which I decided was a good idea a few years ago.

Stuff gets recycled through that, like, you know, puzzles and books people have read and other junk, t-shirts and things people want.

Oh, I wanted it right on my foot.

Bitch, this is why you should never tidy up.

It's dangerous.

So

do you,

I'm thinking of being more trying to be zero waste.

Apparently, like, it's very hard.

It's very, very hard

to follow the zero, like, no, no, one, no single-use plastics.

Right.

We try not to use plastic much, but it's hard nowadays.

It's actually when you start trying to not use any zero use plastic, single-use use plastics, you very quickly start to realize how many you use.

Yeah.

You're like, oh my God, like I can't do without this tofu that I like, you know, or this thing that I like.

And you realize that's all in plastic and you're like, oh my God.

A lot of

the packaging and stuff now seems to be all paper.

Like a lot of it, yeah.

I got a

shaver the other day for my face, for a face shaver, like an electric one.

And all the packaging was paper.

Every last bit of packaging was some kind of paper, but not like.

This is a positive direction.

It wasn't just like paper bag paper, you know, it was like that sleek, nice, like packaging, cardboardy paper stuff.

I mean, the stuff itself is still all made of plastic.

Yeah.

Do you know what I mean?

And everything's a little bit more.

But that's, I mean, that's shaver.

I'll have that for probably a decade now.

Yeah, at least a package.

The thing is,

let's say you buy, I mean, you guys win, a couple of tofu Kievs, all right?

I'll put it in vegetarian terms.

Delicious tofu Kievs, right?

A couple of delicious tofu Kievs.

Right.

Even if the bulk of the packaging is recyclable cardboard, there'll be a plastic lining to that, and it'll have a plastic top because you've got to see what you're getting, right?

So that is like single use.

That's going in the bin.

They can't recycle a floppy bit of clear plastic.

I'm pretty sure.

Maybe they can.

We put it in the recycling.

I'm sure it just ends up in landfill, but it's just like plastic is too useful at what it does.

It's waterproof.

It's long-lasting.

You can make it transparent.

It's insane.

Why did it have to be bad?

Why did it have to be bad?

Why did it have to be bad?

Why couldn't it have been this miracle?

Just for once.

Give us a fucking product that actually does it all and isn't a shit for the environment or for human health.

It doesn't exist.

The more utility something has, the worse it is for you.

It's terrible.

Just like all the cool stuff, alcohol, drugs, unprotected sex.

They're all really bad for you, dangerous.

Imagine you could just...

Imagine, like, after you finish drinking your water, you could just eat the bottle, the plastic bottle, like it was good.

Yeah, just eat it.

Kind of like the soup in a bread bowl.

You just eat the bowl when you're done.

Right.

But with a cheesy plastic bottle, it's not bad plastic.

It's like healthy plastic that you can eat.

Yeah, without scientists.

And I'd imagine that you take a bite and it would melt in your mouth like

cotton candy or something.

Right.

And taste like cotton candy as well.

You could put soup in a bread bowl.

Why can't we make bread bottles and carry them around all day?

Answer me that, science.

yeah exactly yeah

i feel like um the main issue with plastic is how cheap it is yeah

you know what would be uh like a really a really easy way to be um waste-free or to cut down on your plastic is if they didn't use plastic for packaging anymore it's like everything you buy has it so like what you know it's it's not really up to you to avoid it like it's it's up to them to stop using it you know what i mean like you can't i think that it's cheap again the world relies on on what works and turns on the cost and until people step in and actually give a shit um yeah you know this is gonna still just be following the worst possible trajectory right yeah i mean uh

i i like the amount of times you could reuse a just a plastic water bottle but the amount of times they are not reused is um you know much higher fascinating stuff i've got a friend who lives on um doesn't well lives sort of near a farm and they rent out this field to campers right right and i was talking to them about some of the is it just like does it look like a sea of plastic after every camp is done they leave and they just leave all their plastic waste all over i think people are pretty bad about it generally yes um and people have people are as you'd expect like here's a few things that i wrote down a few of the things they told me um

so one woman brought her dog right and was dismayed to find that there were other dogs on the campsite as well right um what's that her dog didn't get on with the other dogs well then maybe your dog is the problem love so she left a review saying it's a shame this place is not dog friendly

wow

well i guess what she meant was it's a shame that the other dogs were not friendly with my dog

it's a shame that this place didn't specifically cater to me and only me take it up with the the dog manager you make a meeting with him you have to bring a treat of course sit down and you mistake your complaints it's a shame i've just realized that yawns the universe doesn't revolve around me.

Dear universe, I'd like to make a complaint about the universe, please.

When are you going to start revolving around me?

No, please actually more focus on just me.

Oh my God.

Okay, I've got some more if you like that.

If you like where that book came from, I'd love a review.

There was an email from a potential visitor who said they had quite a large group, so they wanted to get their own field.

Can you guess how many they thought a large group was?

Four people.

Four people, correct?

Yeah.

So, you know, yeah, sure.

John, you're going to have your entire own field to yourself.

Well, maybe they only know four people.

To them, that's 100%.

If you spend the vast majority of your life alone, then four people is a lot of people

at a certain point, I suppose.

If you're on a life raft made for one, four people is an awful lot of people.

Yes.

Gosh, yeah.

So one person

said that they knew that there were animals in neighboring fields.

And they said, I'm terrified of animals.

So could you maybe do something with them during my stay?

Like send send them away for a few days.

These are city folk.

These are all filthy, disgusting city folk.

Would you like me to slay all animals ahead?

Or would you like me to do it in front of you when you get here?

I'll slit all of their throats right in front of you.

That's

some of the campers are just weird.

So one of them...

One of them was walking around.

Apparently there was a man walking around the campsite saying he was the owner, the farmer who owned the field and asking people how their stay was going really

and it's just a random random guy

the farmers actually not that person right and then another group and what kind of info did he get from people like what was the feedback okay well i just think they just it was just weird but they didn't know any better they must have so what did they have a moment where they were like they were like leaving they're like bye thanks for everything and that but the real owner was there like uh yeah no problem like it like what did they have a realization that they'd been had by this guy or did they just leave

thinking that that was the owner what a nice guy checking up on us and stuff none of my feedback has been actioned on though um

you know just then next so there was a person who arrived and they went to the loo and there was a poo in it so they left a negative comment and demanded a refund with this an outsour like this is like a

like a like a for hire toilet like an out a plastic outdoor one they just found a poo in the loo and they right like in the toilet like where the poo's meant to be or like i assume so yeah that's where they well i don't think it was on the ceiling hang on hang on

if you guys had a visitor to your house and you found someone else's poo in the toilet come on now you guys would complain historically we know that to be the case this is true yeah but i mean i've had many people in my house recently for work but um but guess what i hired one of those plastic toilets and i never looked at it once so if there's a poo in there

why would you look not on me Why are you talking this toilet?

Yeah, you buy the Portaloo.

Yeah.

That's quite common.

That's quite inside your house.

Yeah, yeah.

So

I didn't have to use the poo in the loo inside your house.

I absolutely did, yeah.

And I feel no, I can, I can sense a judging tone.

I feel no shame about this.

Lulu, you shouldn't judge me.

Absolutely no shame about this.

If you have a big project going on and you have like six to eight lads working, your toilet's getting decimated every single day.

It really is.

I'm not kidding.

They come in, they're absolutely filthy.

Have you seen what those guys eat?

It's bad.

Yeah.

Go into any greasy spoon and watch what they eat and tell me that you would have them

shitting and peeing in your toilet on the regular all day, every day.

Many, many years.

This is perfectly reasonable.

It's not that expensive to hire a porter.

It really isn't.

It's just good to know.

It's 100 quid a month.

They eat £100 a month.

That's nothing.

It's nothing.

And they come every week and clean it too.

Well, why do I even bother having the real Lou?

Well, there you go.

If I could just hire a porter, Lou, and use that instead, I'd never have to clean my bathroom.

Knowledge is power, baby.

Arm yourself to clean your bathroom.

I don't clean my bathroom.

So the final one is that one day the farmer found a group of campers in the pig pen.

Okay.

Okay.

And were they fucking?

No, they don't know what they were doing in there.

But when challenged, they said,

well, it wasn't a sign saying we couldn't go in here.

Right.

it's like it's a free country i can do what i like like that sort of thing you know how we we've we've sort of talked about this idea of signs being unnecessary signs all over the place telling you stuff this is why it's because people are so used to the idea like this goes back to the mind the gap discussion uh that we had recently mind the gap it's like if you don't put the mind the gap or don't have the mind the gap thing people will fall down and say well i didn't tell me to mind the gap they didn't tell me i was going to fall down the old yeah they just oh if that's the eternal excuse, isn't it?

So, um, and you wonder why there are signs fucking everywhere explaining everything.

I don't mind that.

There's signs everywhere.

Really?

Honestly, it doesn't bother me.

What if you had to have signs in your house that the government installed on the front door said, be careful, you're about to leave your property, like on the inside, just in case people get confused between inside and outside?

Would you draw the line at that?

Probably, yeah.

Okay.

Realistic.

What if it was literally outside your property line?

So just as you leave your gate or whatever, there's a big sign saying you are now leaving your property.

Be careful, look left and right, make sure you have your keys, be cautious, mind the gap.

I would welcome that, actually.

The amount of times I've left my house without my keys or without my underpants on or whatever, like a little helpful checklist at the end of my

very, very long winding driveway would be really good.

It would save me a lot of time and a lot of grief as well.

You know, get to the end of that and it's like just a checklist.

Do you have your boarding pass?

do you have your passport do you have your keys do you know where your kids are um

did you remember to leave your bot farm on is your bitcoin farm still running

you know all these things that i you know sometimes forget about uh before i leave my house yeah i wouldn't mind that i honestly it wouldn't it wouldn't bother me too much if it was like on my front door i'd probably be like this is a bit much but if it was just like like just outside my property or whatever i probably would never notice it i wouldn't really notice a sign.

So can I just say one thing that happened to me this week?

Listen, Lulu, you don't need to ask permission.

Yeah, just well, I watched it positive, though.

So I watched this video about how there's this idea in AI.

Okay.

And sorry if everyone's groaning right now.

There's this terrible idea in AI about how the super intelligence is coming.

And I'm sure you've seen things about it.

And there was this team of high-level AI people who sort of developed this sort of vision of the future, if you like, and it's kind of like a story-based thing of what's going to happen potentially over the next few years as AIs develop and become more intelligent.

And basically, what it leads to is a pretty terrifying, dystopian situation where, in the next five or ten years, AI gets smart enough that it can replace basically all the shitty jobs that all the ad mini jobs, all the do you know what all this a lot of computer-based jobs the AI stuff reeks of remember, remember just as the internet was like sort of um

being rolled out to the masses, if you like, you remember all those pictures that they had of like a young kid wearing a VR helmet on a skateboard on like a the information superhighway?

You know, like they hyped it all up and they said it's gonna do this, it's gonna do that.

And then

very quickly, uh, everybody just found porn and started making memes.

And that, and, and that was that's

stupider.

Yeah,

while AI is like taking over.

I guess like the whole point is that, of this whole thing is that basically you in future will be able to like hire an AI to

do to do accounting, to do Photoshop, to do video editing, to do everything, basically.

And everyone will be out of a job and it'll be this disastrous situation, right?

Where unless we actively change up society or, and there's a couple of scenarios that they paint in this, in this article, it's called like, I don't know, Vision 2027 or some shit.

But the idea is that on the one hand, you get this sort of AI arms race between the US and China, where they both sort of start competing, making these competing AIs in order to hack each other and,

you know, do all this sort of evil stuff that governments have always done since the dawn of time.

And then the other sort of idea is that we governments get sick of it and sort of take control and try and make this AI that's kind of our safe AI almost.

They're strange visions of the future, but they're both quite terrifying.

Anyway, I was using using the new version of ChatGPT-5 because I was like, oh, there's a new chat GPT-5 just came out like yesterday or whatever.

And I'm like, okay, I've got this spreadsheet I've been making.

Okay.

Right.

That I was like, oh, I've got loads of stuff to fill in in this spreadsheet.

Okay.

Like loads of loads of information to fill in, loads of complicated stuff to fill in.

And I was like, oh, why don't I just give the AI a copy of it and it can fill in the gaps.

Okay.

So it like,

I gave it like five lines of information.

I was like, do it like this, make some more for me.

Okay.

And it did it so badly and so ineptly that I ended up going back and forth with it loads saying, why have you done this?

You know, do you think like,

I was like, it was telling me things like a wooden table was made of metal plates.

You're telling it off.

Yeah.

I was like, do you think this is correct?

And it's like, oh, no, no, sorry, sorry, sorry.

And it was like fully, I think they called it sycophantic or whatever, right?

It was fully kind of apologizing and saying, I'll do that better.

And it never did.

And eventually we went back and forth over like half an hour until I was like running out of credits or whatever, because you only get like 23 credits every five hours or God knows what it is.

And I felt like, first of all, I felt like it was dragging me out, almost like it was deliberately wasting your time.

Wasting my time.

So, yeah, exactly.

It's like, are you sure you want me to do this?

Oh, what if I've got a little question?

And eventually I was like, just do it.

Fuck off.

Jimmy.

And then finally, when I was like frustrated with it, I just said, just, please just do this as I've asked you to do.

And it made me this um like csv file right that was so wrong i said this is completely wrong what's what's wrong with you can you do it again it was like oh sure i fixed it and then it posted i you not it it decided that instead of sending me a new csv file because it said would you like me to redo the csv i said yes okay

and it generated a picture instead right of a spreadsheet all of the words were nonsense right because it doesn't understand words and i was like you asked me if you wanted you've made a CSV file for me before, like twice or something.

And I asked you, and you asked me a question, would you like a CSV film?

I said yes.

And you gave me a picture

of a spreadsheet full of garbled information.

And I'm like, this is the new one?

I can't honestly think of a single thing that I would want AI to do for me that is like that I can't either already do by myself or a person can simply do.

And I would prefer to just actually speak to a person and do it very quickly and not be like bogged down.

Like, I can't think of one single thing that I would ever use AI for.

So, this is it.

I've just

all the practical stuff they can't do.

Like, they can't

drive the car for me and drop people off or run errands for me.

Or, well, not, they can't yet.

Like, you know, it's not going to do that.

But that's the point is, I think that we're kind of as a sort of,

you know, we all use the internet.

We read about this stuff and technology and stuff.

I actually do think we're kind of sleepwalking towards something quite sinister because although when we use all these LLMs and chat GPT is of course the most famous one of those and all this AI for grok and shit, we're laughing now about how crap it is.

But they're training AI to write the next level of AI.

And AI is very, very good at not interacting with people, but at coding, really good at coding.

And I'm pretty sure that once it starts being able to write its successor, and the successor is then better than the version that wrote it, you then have this runaway sort of cascade

effect where

it becomes much more powerful, much more quickly than we're prepared for.

So if you can imagine if we went back in time and looked at very early versions of the primates that we are now, we'd be like, this guy doesn't even have opposable thumbs.

He doesn't know how rocks work.

He's still just eating, you know, rotten bananas off the floor of the jungle.

And ha ha ha, he's pathetic.

But before you know it, you've got something that's like a thousand Einsteins.

So I think a lot of the time we write off AI because we're only seeing the sort of customer spacing end of it.

But I'm genuinely quite concerned about what's happening behind the scenes.

And for a while, I thought that all this money going into AI was just the latest dot-com fad and it was just a bubble.

I think a lot of these guys are starting to see things that they think if we're not in control of this, we're fucked.

And the only countries that are really doing it are America and China.

Yeah.

So when it does happen, the rest of the world is in genuinely big trouble.

And I think that we're going to see the balance of power at the moment.

Although, yes, the US and China are two of the biggest economies in the world and a lot of what they do shapes how the rest of us live.

Once an AI, a proper AI, not a fucking large language model, but an actually intelligent computer, a singularity exists, we ain't going to have it in the UK.

We're not going to have it in Europe.

There's only two places it's going to exist, West Coast America and China.

But they're going to sell it to us.

And it's going to

sell it to us.

It'll be cheaper.

They're not going to sell it to us.

Oh, it's going to be a service model.

So it's going to be like live service AI, which is going to be very expensive.

And who runs this thing?

I mean, are we just assuming that once they've achieved this state of nirvana with this perfect AI, that it's going to be benevolent?

What if it's just entirely biased and very nationalistic, which it may well be?

The Americans made it, so it owes them.

Or the Chinese made it, so it owes them.

What does it give a fuck about what happens in Europe?

This is a problem.

This is a genuine problem.

And we're just, there's no oversight and no control whatsoever.

So I am quite concerned about where it's going to lead.

I realize that's doonmongering and apocalyptic.

And, you know, you can write it off as sci-fi, but I try to think about that kind of stuff.

And obviously, I do like to think of it from a sort of science fiction angle.

I think it doesn't lead anywhere good ever.

So

very anti-AI.

I don't know, though.

Not because I think it's shit.

Not because I think it's shit.

I think it is now.

It's laughable.

But that to me is like, if you looked at the Wright Brothers plane, the Wright Brothers plane was dog shit.

But it's like less than 60 years after that thing flew or whatever, around that time, we were on the moon.

So the acceleration of technology from inception to what it could end up as is so far beyond your imagination at the point that it initially comes about that it's dangerous to ignore what it could be, in my opinion.

Well, you're right.

I think

it's actually, yes, we're laughing at it now.

And I'm asking it, I just asked it like, what the fuck?

How is

that GPT?

What the fuck?

I said, what the fuck?

This is a picture of a spreadsheet, not a CSV.

How did you end up generating a picture instead?

And it said, oh, sorry, that was my fault.

When I tried to output the table, the system rendered it as an image preview.

It's a quirk of how the interface.

It's just lying to me.

It's just lying to me.

It says it was literally a screenshot of a table dump.

But I'm like, well, it's not, is it though?

Because if you look at the link I've sent you guys, the words are just, the letters are just nonsense words.

Yeah.

Words, right?

A Ludzud Sligler.

And that one looks like it's Icelandic.

It's like, it's, how was it what you made me a spreadsheet with that Icelandic in it and took a screenshot and then blurred it a load?

Like, what do you see?

I mean, it's already, it's not, it's just bad.

It's lying.

It's trying to cover its cover its tracks.

It's taking, it's going to take over.

It's frightening.

Anyway, AI is frightening and terrifying.

And let's move on because, oh my God, I don't want to, yeah, I don't want to think about it.

So I got that book.

um what is it dungeon crawler carl oh yeah and i'm about a hundred pages in and i'm not enjoying it oh really yeah i think it's very badly written is it a real is it a real well you are an author miserable

vlog to get through no it's just silly it feels very teenagey and honestly that's i mean the amount of swearing as someone who swears a lot um i understand why um that sounds silly for me to say i i curse a lot mrs f has to to tell me to please stop cursing.

It's just the way I am.

I'm saying I curse a lot, but I don't like hearing other people cursing.

It depends.

It's really a crazy tone and accent for me.

Like some people can just weave in cursing to everyday conversation, and I don't notice it or mind it at all.

And then other people, it sounds so out of place and it bugs me.

It's just imagine if everyone is.

It's like nails on a chalkboard.

Like if

somebody isn't swearing properly, you know, like it, it, it, it grates on me.

Yeah, I think it's because he uses swear words instead of a better word.

So

to me, it's just lazy.

And he over-describes things.

Like, I'm looking at the thickness of this book.

It's actually quite thick for what is a throwaway idea.

It's 450 pages, this book.

Now, I've read the first hundred pages and I get it.

Like, I get where we're going and what's happening and all the rest of it.

The sense of humor is very puer, like, extremely puer.

I would say it's on a par with

a slightly,

yeah, it's not as detailed as saying the Triforce Podcast, of course.

But I, we're not writing this and carefully going back over it.

We're just talking.

Like, this is just the way people talk.

We are not.

We're not.

We are definitely not.

Edit that, please, editors.

No, I'm okay.

So it's just, why use a swear word when you could actually use a better word?

And he'll just use arshole or fuck or shit or piss or bastard or something.

And you think that's that's lazy.

And he describes things um where we're i'm see if i can find an example um oh yeah this cat called donut mrs mrs donut or donut princess donut or something that just felt really unfunny to me that he has this cat um i don't i don't think that's funny like i get it it's like ha he's wearing a leather jacket and ladies' shoes at the start of the apocalypse halls

i just don't think that's interesting and just to curse as often as he does just curse curse curse curse fuck shit asshole damn fuck it's like dude what are you doing like it almost feels like someone trying to impress you with the fact that they're swearing um and also my god the tropes like the overused tropes i'm like oh really oh yes i've seen that in a video game haha yes that's exactly the way it is when i play a video do you know what this reminds me of ready player one which was the hey do you remember so and so ha ha ha yeah i get it like i get the reference i don't need 450 pages of that reference anyway that's my opinion i will try and finish it for you lulu but i'm seriously struggling with this guy's writing style apologies matt dinner that's really interesting well i didn't actually read the physical book i listened to the audiobook which is

even worse which is um honestly really really good stephen fry is it stephen fry

what do you mean i

i'm not gonna listen to stephen fry i don't think he's as i don't think he's all that you know

that he or he he narrated the audiobook because it wouldn't suit him at all that was all i was saying oh i see yeah i don't even remember ready player one i saw it, but that's the one where they're like on the they got the VR headsets and they're on the treadmills in there.

They live in like

trailers, right?

But they, yeah, but they, they, you know, everything is like in the virtual world.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They're basically, they've got sort of video game world that they all live in and interact in.

Like a it's all very MMO and video game inspired.

It's like a big, big VR game.

And it's it's definitely set in like a future dystopia, right?

It's, you know, prescient in a, in a sense It feels prescient, but you know the world is likely to be very different from the way anyone's really visualized it, you know as much as sci-fi writers have a go at guessing there's you know the world that we live in now is not the same at all as people expected it would be 50 years ago for sure and changes have been so rapid.

No, you know

and even today it's so so weird to think of the stuff being made by AI.

You know, no one gave us the heads up on this this stuff at all.

No sci-fi writers who were any kind of, well, maybe there are, maybe there are some of them that were, that, who were, were bang on.

Um, let us know.

The, um, the, the old Star Trek stuff, um, like, like a lot of the stuff that inspired, you know, like the, like flip phones and what, what are some of the other, you know, like the little, uh, they had those little clam opening communication devices and, and people think that like the the first Motorola cell phones were based on that.

And there's a bunch of other stuff too, but there's like Star Trek and then there's all the early NASA technology for getting people into space and doing the moon landings and stuff.

A lot of that stuff sort of crept back into the consumer market eventually as well.

But I agree.

I don't think anybody really saw like AI,

but maybe they did.

Like Skynet is kind of like

AI from

the Terminator universe, but that controls robots and stuff.

So maybe

people have been on it.

Maybe people do realize that there's like I think also sci-fi has to, in order to be popular, it has to be relatable to the people of the time that it was made.

You can't have a book that people can't ever, who read it when it comes out, can't understand it because it paints this

very strange vision.

Then again, sometimes they do, like Brave New World paints a very different, a very alien vision of the future

and other things too.

And that's why they're kind of fascinating because

they explore how society has changed in the wake of new technology.

But things like that are more mainstream, like Star Trek, there's a lot of familiar stuff.

You know, there's a lot of stuff borrowed from

the times that can be, that people can put themselves in the situation more.

It doesn't feel, and as a result, you do end up with quite anachronistic things happening, you know, where you know the computers in some of the original Star Treks are worse than the computers we have now.

Computer.

Computer, slide the doors open for me.

I'm trying to get to the bridge.

One second.

Sliding doors.

Doors open.

Thanks, computer.

Computer, it's made the noise, but the door hasn't moved.

Or is it like the AI where it lies about what it's done?

Yeah.

The computer just goes,

no, computer, that's just you going, you're opening the door.

Yeah.

Damn.

Yeah, this is going to be.

Oh, I'm terribly sorry.

There's been an error.

The door was open, but you didn't see it.

I didn't see it open.

So that's going to get a second.

Would you like me to open the door now?

It's like, yes.

Are you sure you'd like me to open the door now?

Yes.

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A lot of this stuff is very Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy as well.

Because it's

so ridiculous.

A lot of it's so ridiculous.

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So

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and door plus pro and door plus pro.

Uh, keep it safe, keep it safe with door plus, um, yeah, pro and portal, which is our other sponsor for today.

I can't recommend it enough, Lewis.

Um, if you're Lewis, one day when you're a homeowner and you decide to have some renovations done on your home, mark these words, okay?

Get

an outside portable toilet for any workmen that come over.

Do you know what?

They'll thank you for it as well.

They love them.

They'll love it.

They love them.

They love them.

They're drawn to them.

In fact, once you put one down, other workmen just tell you that.

I think it activates their bladders because I think they normally go to a site and they're like, I got to hold it in all day.

I'm going to have to hold it in all day, or at least I got to hold it in until lunchtime or whatever.

And then they see one of those toilets and they're like, oh, shit, baby, I can just let it go.

They end up peeing in plastic bottles and just leaving the plastic bottles around the corner.

That's what happens.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then and then some of them accidentally drink it as well, thinking there's

free apple juice.

Wow.

God, that kind of

free bottle of apple juice on the street.

Oh, God, I'm so thirsty.

You know what?

One time when my kids were quite leftful, they didn't drink piss.

I just want to jump in and announce those things.

They didn't drink piss.

We were walking to school and there was someone had left a bottle of wine.

It wasn't wine.

They'd obviously drunk a bottle of white wine and then peed it back into the bottle.

That's right.

And they'd left it there.

And my daughter was like, Oh, there's a free bottle of wine, Dad.

I was like, That'd be ridiculous, love.

Someone's peed in that.

And her face, she was like, What?

She couldn't pee.

Kim, I know.

There's like those moments where you're teaching your kids.

People are revolting.

Sorry, girl.

Yeah, the rest of the world is not a safe bubble like our house is.

This is, this is totally.

I was walking, I was on the walk the other day with some

friends, and they were like, you know, like

there was some of those you know just brambles with wild blackberries on them and i was like and i was and um and it was with some some some kids and i was like sure you can pick them but obviously only from above like waist high yeah right

because because there's no way like any of the bra any of the wild blackberries from below waist high have not been pissed on by something yeah like a dog or a rat or something

yeah

a rat's got a piss um yeah but i don't think they they don't cock a leg like a dog and like pee a pin and arm.

I think they probably do.

I don't think a lot of animals.

I think they do.

If they don't, you're just gonna get a like a you've got to do it because if you just piss, if you just like go into like a push-up pose and piss right onto the ground, it's gonna spray all over you.

You gotta, you've gotta do the lift.

Sideways, you got the piss needs to be far away from you.

I don't think so.

I mean, I think mice and rats and those little rodents, I think they're basically incontinent and they just go all the time.

Because

they don't have an area where they go.

They just

squirts out the back.

Seagull, like it just

really gross.

Yeah.

We got a baby seagull that is like haunting our neighborhood because

it's a ghost?

No, but he's he was born probably on my roof or close by.

They roost around here and

just before the summer, they have their babies.

The babies at first can't fly.

So they walk around

and constantly make noise to get their parents to bring food back for them.

Those baby seagulls, there's a lot of them in Bristol at the moment, and they're so loud.

They are so annoying, too.

He's just constantly pacing around in our backyard and stuff.

And you just think.

Man, go out to the sea or wherever it is that you need to be, but not here.

Don't just like any, he shits everywhere.

There's fucking shit all over the place.

The deck is covered in shit.

That's shit for your fences.

It's covered in shit.

And like my roof is covered in shit.

There's shit everywhere.

They're up there shitting.

It's like a fiesta.

It's like

shitting all the time.

Yeah.

That's like your roof.

But they're protected.

You can't like, because

one year we had one and he was stuck in the backyard.

He couldn't fly.

And

it had been dry.

It was really hot.

So I phoned the animal shelter and I said, can you guys come out and get him?

Because he'll probably die.

Like, there's not, there's nothing for him here, and he's stuck, he can't fly.

And they're like, No, we can't, we're not allowed to touch seagulls, they're protected.

Not okay, well, this one's going to fucking die, so you're not really protecting him that well.

But seagulls aren't protected,

apparently, they are over here.

Yeah, they're like, I don't think you're allowed to like just capture them and break their necks and eat them.

Well, I wasn't.

I think that's just general, don't be addicted.

I wasn't saying that they should do that.

Wait, I was just saying, just remove seagulls are protected, put it in my neighbor's yard instead of something.

I don't know.

I don't care.

Just get it.

I think you get old men buying BB guns to shoot them, and then they get wounded and injured.

I would never do that.

But

I think people do do that.

And certainly there's a generation above ours, you know, who survived World War II, God bless them.

And, you know, good.

Although then again.

I got one for you, okay?

Sorry to interrupt you.

I was just thinking.

Okay, what if you were like

a true crime enthusiast, okay?

You don't have to be, but let's just say for this example, you are.

My sister, and you love the you love the idea of many people of committing a crime and then getting arrested, right?

So the cops, and you, you're, you, you think, like, oh, this is so cool.

I'll get arrested.

You hear about this, like an old woman did this because she wanted to get it on a bucket.

Yeah, she wanted to get arrested.

But the thing is, because you'd be happy about getting arrested, the one thing you'd want to do is maybe put your arms up in the air and cheer, like, hooray, I've been arrested, but you can't because you've got the cuffs on you know what i mean like they're gonna turn up and they're gonna cuff you right away so you're not gonna get your moment you're not gonna be able to celebrate or maybe you can

say hands up and you

do that's good a good point put your hands in the air and wave them like it just don't care

you gotta go get a gun and then they'll say put your hands up because that way you're gonna put your hands up the hell oh man do they say hands up or do they say hands down they say um

what do they they say

i'm sure it drops different but i'm always like if i drop i would be tempted to say officer i will drop it but if it goes off that's on gravity sometimes they they scream hands behind your back i tell you what they

screamed at me in that tone and said put your hands behind your back they would be behind my back immediately like i don't know what the hesitation is sometimes with these people you know like they're criminals they're they're they're hesitating hesitating and then like the the tasers coming out and everything you just think man just put your hands behind your back like he said what are you waiting for like jesus that fight or flight response isn't it some people they're just so stunned that they've been apprehended yeah and they're just like they they almost their brain doesn't compute that they're dealing with the police and that they're in a dangerous situation man and i mean i think i think it's under appreciated just what effect having a gun pointed at you does to the human brain that the idea that you should just act rationally and oh just do what they say it's it's impossible to put yourself in that position because you can tell yourself that you would.

A lot of time, people's functional brain just shuts down.

Man, if somebody, if somebody's pointing a gun at my head, I'm like fucking Christopher Walken from the deer hunter.

Of course.

I'm like, I'm looking like my pants are full of shit

and I'm hemorrhaging in the brain at the same time.

Like it's like he's got that.

I know he's not meant to be scared because he's kind of like, you know, he's had all the humanity and life stripped out of him at that point, but he does kind of look, he looks bad, though, right?

He looks a bit scared in the scene from the deer hunting.

Which scene?

You know what?

Are you talking about when they're doing Russian?

So there's two.

Yeah, but there's two.

There's the one where he's playing it when they're captives in Vietnam.

And then there's the one where he, uh, Robert De Niro goes back to try and find him because he's still playing Russian.

He's still playing.

Which one?

I, the one

when they're captured.

Yeah, in that one, he's, he's, uh, he's terrified.

Yeah.

That's a great scene.

Oh, that's an incredible scene.

Yeah.

Diddy Mao.

Did he mow?

Slap at him.

Diddy Mao.

Mow.

Fucking crazy.

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On with the show.

Would you like to hear some

more Mao, actually?

Get him!

Let's have five solid minutes of Pyrrhian doing

Mao from Deer Hunter.

Well,

we didn't do like we didn't finish your japan chat really did we do you remember no i guess we didn't actually um was there any more things from that yeah there was there was we had a whole list of things just let's let's we had we did a whole episode on it are you sure you want to do more i don't know if people i just want a little bit i just want a little snippet of just give them a little taste

because we were a couple of we got up to but we had to stop because i had to go somewhere and i'm i felt like i was i was i could have handled more i got as far as my our trip to nara where i got bitten by yes where you got bit where Where it turns out the deers were awful.

I'm sorry I cut you off on that bit, but I wanted to say, like, that is one of these incredibly touristy, dream camery-y, Instagram-y, like, beautiful princess-y moments, right?

Where everyone dresses up and they're like the deers, and it's so beautiful, and it's everything.

It is, it does, it did feel genuinely dodgy and fake.

And I'm glad that that's what it was like.

Oh, it was.

I'm glad you had a bad time.

Yeah, no, we went there and I was like, it was kind of like a wake-up call for my youngest who had had seen pictures.

And I have a video, I forgot about this.

I was looking at the pictures the other day.

We get there.

She tends to say things without thinking because she's like me.

Like me and her are like the same person.

So she just says shit.

And it's taken me a very long time to try to rein in my instinct to just not let my brain have immediate access to my mouth all the time.

It's a daily struggle.

And I often fail at it.

We get to Nara, we get off the bus, and she sees,

she sees so many deer, and she says, Is that a deer?

And I'm like, What are you talking about?

I said, So glad I was filming that.

And my eldest is just ripping her apart.

She's just laughing because she realizes what she's done.

But it's just like, Love, you were the one who was showing us the pictures.

Look at the lovely deer.

We're going to see the deer in Nara.

We get there.

There's a deer like two feet away.

She's like, Is that a deer?

I was like, What?

Like, that's that's what your brain is thinking.

And then the other bit of your brain goes, Yes, of course, that's a deer.

And you never say it.

You never say that.

Now everybody knows it.

And I do that all the time.

Oh, my God.

We all do.

I feel so bad I passed that down.

So I feel so bad.

I think again, though, that's almost like

that's not so bad.

I mean, it's not as bad as the lemonade thing,

you know, or free wine.

Free wine on the side of the road.

Yeah, free lemonade.

I mean, it's just funny.

But it's like at another point where we were at this lake and it was like, it had loads of lilies in it.

It's in Taito City in Tokyo.

It's beautiful.

And we're going over a bridge and you can hear water you can see water and you can see a lake with flowers and you can still see it's a lake and she says is that water and i was like yes of course it's water it's what do you look at it it's water it's like i think she got into her head that because we were in japan everything was different do the laws of physics still apply is a deer still a deer is water still liquid on this world you know it was she was just talking and asking these questions it just it became quite the meme uh and of course being very funny she played up to it she started asking Is that so-and-so questions?

And with a wry smile, you know, anyway.

Do you get, do you, do you get that thing with your kids where they ask you a question about something that you know even just a bit about, but and you explain it to them, but they just switch off almost immediately.

Like, like, like within

five seconds of you speaking, they're like, I did not want to know the answer to this, actually, at all.

And, but you just

keep going on and on and on, explaining it all.

The other day, I've,

I asked my partner

what she'd done today.

And then I got a notification on my phone.

So I picked my phone up.

I didn't listen to anything she said.

And

I looked up at her and I was like,

she was just staring at me like anger.

And I was like, I felt so bad.

I'm so sorry.

But we all do.

It happens to us even if we try.

But yeah, it's funny.

So one of the things we noticed, and my kids really noticed it, and it started to get on our tits.

Look, I don't want to upset any groups of people, all right?

Especially in the current climate, but American tourists, have a fucking word with yourselves, please.

Please, you are not in America.

You're in a different country and they do things differently there.

You are the loudest, by far, the loudest, most noticeable, least camouflaged tourists.

that you could ever come across.

Everybody knows when there's an American tourist around.

You guys just have a voice that just cuts through everything.

If you're ever at a pub and there's some Americans having fun, you'll know it because of all the wooing and the woo

every five seconds.

Very loud people.

And they seem to think that they're in Disneyland everywhere they go.

So, for example, in Disneyland, I'm sure you can have it your way, but you are at a train station in a fairly sort of, you know, suburban part of Tokyo.

No, they can't give you that ticket.

It doesn't matter how much you tell the guy that you need it.

It doesn't matter how much you tell the guy he's got to make it happen.

He can't do it.

They've sold out.

And you can keep telling him that you're an American and you need it.

it's not going to happen.

I think they have this unbelievable attitude of that they get to have it their way every single place they go, and they just can't, and they their brains break because they're used to that American service.

Yes, of oh, absolutely, oh, sir, I'll see what I can do, or just being able to berate someone.

And they just have been trained to suck it up in Japan.

If you go up and say, We need a ticket for the train tomorrow at this time that has extra baggage, extra baggage space because we have big bags, and the guy says, I'm sorry, it's sold out, you can't just stand there for five minutes berating the guy, you just can't do it.

But I saw this couple doing it, and then every place we went, complaining about prices, trying to argue with people, trying to debate.

And it was always Americans.

I don't know what it is in their culture that they've been told you can just fucking bitch of people, and they'll just, they'll be like, Oh, secretly, yes, we can.

We're just being dicks, but now that we know you're Americans, we'll give you what you want.

It was just unbelievable.

Once you noticed it once, you could not stop noticing it.

And I realize, please, I realize, as a British man, we are some of the worst tourists in the world when it comes to

absolutely shitting on places.

That was what I was going to say: is that I be honest with you, I didn't see the kind of tourists when you think of the nightmare English tourists abroad, the on the beach, the gammons, cooking,

big red fat man with a fucking white hat on.

Yeah, he's just like holding a pint, drinking stellar, and wants to want English food every day in Spain.

Uh, I get it.

Like, I understand that you will say how hypocritical it is, and how dare you, English tourists, are some of the worst.

I will be honest with you.

I've traveled all over the world.

The tourists that I see, the British tourists that I see outside of places like that in Spain are just not like that.

Like all of those tourists go to that place, which is why the Spanish are so fucking sick of us going on holiday in Spain because we literally export this particular kind of tourist, the classic English tourist.

And you go all over Europe, you'll see terrible German tourists, terrible Russian tourists, terrible English tourists.

I get it.

But I'm telling you, Americans, you are very loudly, consistently the most obnoxious and demanding tourists.

Just following you is the Chinese tourists who are terrible in Japan.

Awful.

Really, really, really bad.

What kind of stuff were the Chinese doing in Japan?

First of all, I don't know.

I guess Japan is a huge destination resort for them, a tourist destination for them because it's very close, very different, and it's very cheap.

So everywhere they go, having been to China, Chinese people don't do queuing.

They don't do just jostling along in a crowd and everybody getting along the way you do.

If you're in a busy area in the UK, you don't feel like you're fighting for air.

The Chinese will just barge you out of the way.

They will jump in front of you in the queue.

They will push past you to see what you were looking at.

They just don't give a fuck.

And there's so many of them in such big groups that it was just like overwhelming.

We went to the aquarium and it was like 80% Chinese tourists.

And you literally could not get to the tanks to see.

You'd get there to have a look and someone would just literally step in front of you.

Like, there's no room between you and where they've stepped.

They've filled that gap in the most incredible way.

And where you just think, how is that even possible?

How could you have any self-respect to just be like, well, I want to see it.

So I'm just going to push.

I'm just going to stand in a gap that you were breathing in that gap.

Previously, that was your breathing gap.

Now I'm in there.

Now there's a Chinese tourist in there.

It's like, what is happening?

But that's how they, that's how they roll.

And if you don't do that in China, you don't get.

You literally, there is no, oh, you were clearly here first after you.

They just don't roll that way.

There's over a billion of them.

You can't fuck about.

If you want some, you better fucking get it.

So it's tough as a tourist to deal with that as well.

Cause very, very different from the way British tourists are, I would say.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It just depends.

Again, with British tourists, it depends where you go.

Like,

they seem to be worse in the kind of

like the

traditional destinations, mostly Spain, parts of Spain.

Yeah, honestly, i i've not seen tourists like that like the classic english i mean you will get them i'd say the other the other group is is british stagdus yeah which are like you go to somewhere like tallin uh you go to somewhere like krakov you go to somewhere like prague just all these awful british lads who just think i'm just gonna

battered every single portugal suffers the same as spain with the the drinking and the sun and and all of that and it's just like they just want to go there and switch off their brains and get hammered and just make it Spain's problem or Portugal's problem.

And you better give us fry-ups and the pub better be called Irish pub or whatever.

It's really unbearable.

And I get it, but I don't see them, like you said, I don't see them in Munich.

You know what I mean?

When I went to Munich on holiday, it was beautiful and I didn't hardly saw any English people there, which was great.

When I went to some really nice parts of Italy, I didn't see those kind of tourists.

Whereas I feel like you do see the stereotypical American tourists everywhere.

And they're all the same to me.

The ones you notice, anyway.

Apologies, America.

Not really, though.

I completely get it.

I've seen it as well.

And it's crazy how

I think it's just people

doing something and not being called out and learning that they can get away with it, right?

Do you think they get stressed out when they're in an unfamiliar environment as well?

I think everybody does that.

It's like a stress reaction.

I think they've been misled their entire lives about, for example, I know lots of people who work in hospitality and stuff, and people that have emailed in about this.

American tourists giving them dollars and expecting them to take it.

That's here.

That's in the UK.

Or they'll try and tip you and they'll want to give you American dollars.

Like, you're going to be like, oh, thank you.

Finally, some currency that can purchase bread for my starving family.

What are you doing?

That's not, it doesn't work here.

Now you just, what are you?

They just assume that

there's some kind of diplomats for democracy and

for civilization.

The rest of us are just grubbing around like cavemen.

No, you're daughters are no good here, brother.

The other thing is that, like, they, I guess, it's more of a, oh, well, I don't have any local currency, but I do want to tip.

And so, therefore,

is this going to work?

Like, right, and I think wouldn't you, Lewis, if you went to another country, just do the tiniest bit of research using the Google platform that their country created and owns?

Why don't they use that?

It's free.

I think it's very easy, though.

A lot of the things we do are very easy to justify to ourselves in a sensible way.

And they're also very easy to frame in a negative way.

You know, at least they were trying to tip and be nice, right?

As opposed to.

No, no, no, no.

No, no, no.

I'm not having that.

Do you see what I'm saying, though?

I get it.

I mean, you can say it comes from a good place, but it's incredibly fucking patronizing.

So the defense can't just be, oh, I was just trying to tip.

The argument is it's not a tip.

You've now given me a chore.

And in fact, this is a pain in the ass.

I've got 10 bucks that I now have to go and get changed for into, what, six quid or whatever.

And I'm going to charge commission on that.

And it's just a pain in the neck.

It's just ignorant.

It's just willful ignorance.

And this assumption.

That's the thing.

It feels like they're just assuming that the dollar is so powerful that here in Britain, why, that goes five times as far as our local Mickey Mouse money.

There is a little

bit.

I think it's different from person to person.

And I think there is to some extent, I think, sometimes you see it with in Disney with a dad who is very desperate for his daughter to get to a thing or see a thing.

And it does feel like they are panicked and stressed and they need to, they don't care, right?

And you do see that too with some people who are in a hurry or they're late or they're like, they've got some, you know what it's like though, right?

Like you've experienced it too when something's happened that you're like, oh my God.

And you realize what, you know, I'm rushing or I'm.

I'm driving.

Not many times really, but there's definitely like one or two standout times.

One time, funnily enough, we were in Bristol and we got lost trying to get back to the airport.

We hired a car and we got lost trying to get back to the airport.

And

we got to the airport and there was like two minutes left before check-in closed.

And we were like, there's no way we're getting stuck here.

Like we had like, our kids were much smaller at the time.

So they, you know, they were all like.

we like formula diapers everything there's like fuck there's no way we're missing this flight and we were running and running But, like, I don't think we were ever rude to anyone.

We were just like, just tried our best to get to where we needed to get to.

And then when we got there, we were like, oh, have we made it?

And he's like, yeah, just like, it's fine.

You have like five minutes.

And we're like, oh, thank God.

But like, even if we'd missed it, I would have just been like, oh, well, you know, we tried.

You know what?

I think that the reason, the reason it hurts when you see people being unreasonable and being dickheads, especially when you're on holiday, is that you're trying to put in the effort to not be.

Like when we're traveling I'm trying to make sure that when I'm dealing with the locals or you know I'm trying to be as

open to the way they do things as possible

we're even culturally aware of that in Japan where it's so different and everyone's so polite and so crazy I don't want to mess this up for you guys

about tourists that you feel guilty as a tourist

but then when you see someone who's giving tourists a bad name especially if they're from your country or or they're adjacent, you know, English-speaking country like America.

You think, why did we put in all this effort?

And now you've given all these people a story about how terrible these English-speaking tourists are.

I just feel like you have so little guilt about the work I've put in to be a decent tourist.

And you just, I just don't care.

I'm on holiday, me, me, me.

That it just, it's just like, oh my fucking God, that's the, that's the tourist people are going to remember.

So when I go somewhere and the British tourists are being cocks, I think, please, please don't be English, please don't be English.

And then you hear their voice and you think, fuck, now I'm lumping with them for the rest of my life.

This sucks.

I hate it.

Yeah.

It's especially you're like you said, you're making an effort to be reasonable and not to create a scene and to create a stink or whatever.

And especially if you have kids, you're trying to show them not to be like that as well.

And so if you're in line and the person in front of you is going off on one because whatever hasn't worked out or whatever, your kids are just standing there watching this happen.

And oftentimes, they're saying, Why is that person so angry?

And you're like, Oh, well, uh,

you know, you have to explain it to them and hope that they don't just, you know, copy that behavior and instead they just copy the behavior that you're trying to model and stuff.

There's some social responsibility in there, right?

Like to have a little bit of restraint, you know, when you feel like you're just going to have an almighty Karen meltdown in

the Tesco or whatever, you know, like you have to, you have to consider that there are other people around that don't really want to hear you doing this or and they don't want their kids to have to listen to to this either because you you are constantly trying to teach them how to interact with society.

That's exactly something that they are going, that they are already part of, but are going to be a majorly a part of like in not that many years.

Like they grow up quick and then they're hopefully going to be fully functioning members of society.

They'll be

probably the people that are going to be your doctors when you're even older and dentists and all these people that have seen you now acting like a cunt and are going to be very aware of your cuntish ways in the future.

You know, it's bad.

It is bad.

You know what?

I think the thing is, you do end up burdening your children with the knowledge of how awful other people are when you raise them right.

Because now my kids, my kids hate litter so much that when they see litter, they see people just leaving stuff everywhere, they get irrationally angry because they haven't yet reached the point where they've given up.

They're still young and hopeful.

And they're like, the world can be a better place.

Whereas now I'm just like, I have abandoned all hope of things ever getting good ever again.

And so I've kind of just sunk into this depressed hole.

Whereas they're still like, no, there's still hope.

There's still hope.

And I don't want to tell them there isn't.

But when they see people having a barbecue in the middle of

the green and just setting fire to the grass and then like

and just leaving, I'm like, kids, the whole world's going to burn and you're going to be the one saying how we're left.

This is it.

This is it, right?

It is this gradual erotic.

This is being a dad, but getting to a certain age.

A lot of the things we talk about in this podcast,

we realize that we are becoming our fathers, right?

Or at least

becoming old men.

We're becoming grumpy old men.

It makes us realize

why could not be less like why grumpy old men are are like the way they are you know and i think i think a lot of the

male menopause thing i think in a general sense men men lose testosterone over time and uh that leads them to be grumpier sad and sad

depression they they they retreat from society more they're alone more it like it is it is uh it is like a a an old man thing it it's it's a it's a known old old man thing the older you get as well it gets it gets worse and worse i don't know if there's any way around it.

Maybe just like have some hormone therapy or something.

Maybe that's

I do feel better if I do like exercise and stuff, like lifting things or cycling or just playing any kind of outside activity sport.

I always feel a lot better.

I feel like, oh, this is this is fun.

And I'm getting some testosterone and stuff going.

But I feel like a lot of the time, just as you get older, you genuinely have less energy.

Yeah.

And it is just harder to get up and move around and have that impetus.

I find I get,

I'm a lot more.

I was talking about this yesterday when I was streaming.

I'm definitely crankier and I find I have

less patience for like weird things.

You know, like I find like I feel really inconvenient.

You move the remote.

Why have you put the remote on that table?

It lives on this table.

But I don't get angry.

Like I'm a known, like I sigh a lot.

Like I'm, you know, I'll be like, oh, you know, like if something,

if something isn't, or like I open, if I open a cupboard and like a million things fall out of it, you know, and I'm just trying to get like, you know, a replacement toothpaste or something, you know, you'll hear it, like the whole house will just be like, oh, he's opened a cupboard.

Cause like all you can hear is, it's like, it's like the cupboard has sighed, you know, like I open it up and it's like, oh,

it's funny.

I can laugh about it, but I definitely see myself doing this more and more.

i'm getting oh yeah more annoyed by like little things that i probably shouldn't be annoyed by but yeah i think it's just i've been looking through this lose news because we haven't done it for a little while and i've got two articles about slime or goo oh hell yeah would you like would you like that what do you mean you've got two articles

i was watching this thing i was watching just on the topic of slime and goo quickly before you start i was watching this thing where this this man i think he weighed 900 pounds and he was in bed and

he had the he looked like a puddle of slime, like

a person.

No, he did.

He had like absolutely no shape.

But I suppose you wouldn't at that size.

Like, he was just

unbelievable.

Think about the skeleton beneath that.

Like, your skeleton doesn't grow.

No, no, it's just the normal skeleton with just lots of extra flesh and stuff.

Layers and layers of forest.

No, it just, it struck me that like he just looked like

when you get to see that big, you just look.

He was laying in bed because I don't think he could do anything else.

What else is he doing?

He just looked like a puddle of person.

But, you know, like it was

everywhere, yeah.

Buddle goose.

Sorry.

Buddle doo.

It just reminded me of that.

A ship, a ship on the Great Lakes.

Okay.

Was remind me where the Great Lakes are again?

That's in America.

Yeah, that's like

Ontario,

Michigan.

You know, like you go

like the Erie,

Erie, Superior.

Near Chicago and all that.

Superior, Michigan, and

Hoogon?

Huron.

Lake Hugon.

Huron.

Huron.

So

there was a ship, a research vessel that was put into dry dock and being mended, and they noticed that there was this viscous black ooze, like gunk, on the rudder shaft of the ship.

Isn't that cool?

So it was like a thick grease or oil, but the rudder shaft wasn't supposed to be lubricated by anything other than lake water.

Right.

And instead of like a petroleum smell, it had like a weird metallic smell.

It also didn't leave a sheen on the water nor burn in a blowtorch flame.

So they sent a sample of it to the University of Minnesota Duluth Large Lakes Observatory, right?

Or whatever, someplace.

And they analyzed it.

And this stuff called ship goo, they've called it, has got previously unidentified forms of life in it.

No way.

I suppose is a thing that can happen, right?

Like microbes.

Ship goo001.

There it is.

It's a mixture of apparently newly discovered forms of microbial life found upon a ship in the Great Lakes.

Nice.

Yeah.

So

it's obviously been relatively like sealed.

Okay.

It's a complicated puzzle, but I think that area of the ship was something that was exposed to the sea,

but also wasn't like, didn't really have any oxygen.

So it was, they're not sure what it was feeding off whether it was feeding off like the water stuff in the water or whether it was feeding off like the anaerobic they're anaerobic that's incredible i know and so it's got this this weird these weird microbes and it is just kind of fascinating right that that that this is still happening that the new that nature i guess is creating these interesting things because you have seen this before with you know, new microbes evolving to like degrade plastics or degrade,

you know, waste waste because that's what nature does.

It sees a source and it figures out a way to eat it.

Like it's cotton candy after the water has been fast back.

So, hold on.

There's a Stephen King short story called, I think it's called The Roast

about

some sexy young people that go out swimming at night, and there's a raft in the middle of a lake.

And there's this viscous goo, this animated goo that slithers across the lake.

And at one point,

it sucks one of them into the lake.

Okay.

um and one guy one guy is standing on the raft and they're trying to stay away from the water so they can't get they don't get eaten by the goo they're going to wait till daylight and then signal for help and there's a tiny crack in the raft and he gets sucked through that small crack which is like two inches across by two inches across his entire body is sucked through that gap and it just it's a very stephen kingy description of like his eyes bugging out of his head and blood and it's really horrific it stuck with me a long time because i read that when i was a kid so as soon as you mentioned ship goo i I was like, do not go swimming near the ship goo.

Sure, that sounds disaster.

Um, but the second article about goo was written by the ship goo.

I am ship goo

underneath New York City.

Yeah, well, if it, in fact, not New York City, but New York generally.

This is this Ghostbusters.

This is, you're going to describe the entire of Ghostbusters 2 here, aren't you?

Yes, there is a massive blob.

Yeah, slime.

It's an ocean of slime

of rock underneath Appalachia.

Right.

That's oozing towards New York City, apparently.

It's a weird thermal upwelling that has long been a puzzling feature of North American geology.

Under a mysterious hot blob of underground rock.

So it's basically a sort of slime ball thing,

which I don't think it's slime, but it's kind of not exactly solid either.

It's like hot rock, basically.

It's kind of like lava or or magma.

Magma.

It's been slowly

oozing its way towards New York City.

Cool.

It came from the Greenland, North America rift zone, but it's going to take about 10 million years to reach

12 miles every million years.

So it's not oozing all that fast, but eventually it will.

What's it going to do?

Well, I think we need to send in the Ghostbusters.

When it gets there in 12 million years.

It's going to kidnap a child and sacrifice it to a painting of an old

medieval warlord from

Eastern Europe.

And it's going to form

an airtight seal around a museum as well.

That's just

the kind of top three things it's going to do, amongst other things as well.

Yeah.

And we're going to need a team of four men or possibly women

to shoot it with proton packs and catch it in a toaster.

Yes, absolutely.

Yeah.

Okay.

Good.

Pirian, what do you have to say?

What's it actually going to do?

I don't know.

I'm not a scientist.

It says in the article.

It said, okay, so it did say that it basically causes a slight uplifting of the terrain above it.

And then as it travels, as it leaves, obviously stuff kind of sinks back down a tiny bit.

So it might cause, it's like a big bubble of goop.

It's like tremors uplifts things above it yeah so new york city might rise a little bit and then come back down a little bit that's it there you go slime news

god thank you so much for the slime news um you're welcome in 10 million years uh we're

in no matter what so you know at least we have uh you know there's a lot of people that are sort of guessing oh maybe the world will end this way or maybe

the world in 10 million years that slime is going to start with new york and that's only the start it's going to keep going Yes.

It's going to gobble up all the great cities.

And then when it's done with that, it's going to hit all the little villages.

And then before you know it, there's nothing left.

How about that?

Do you want the rest of Lou's news?

Shall we go to the rest of the moment?

Do it.

Make it quick, Lou.

So

a woman named Christine Connell endured years of persistent facial pain

before it was discovered that she was suffering from an E.

coli infection that had been lodged in her sinuses.

Oh, my God.

This is a surprising location for a germ that's normally found in the gut.

However, they believe they've now found the source.

Apparently, when she had had ankle surgery, she was lying in bed.

Her boyfriend farted on her face.

What a shithead.

And it caused her to have a seven years.

of infection.

So she can pinpoint the start of the pain at that point.

And that's where their investigating.

Do you know what I reckon it is, love?

Do you remember that Thursday morning I woke up and I farted in your face?

Yeah, I do remember that.

I remember that very well, actually.

And somehow, for some reason, we're still together.

We're still together seven years later.

I reckon that was that.

I reckon I gave it that E.

coli then because I had a really bad stomach that day.

That's why I farted in your face.

Yeah, that's right.

You thought it was really funny, didn't you?

Yeah, I did think it was fucking hilarious because I love you.

And that's how I show that by literally spraying particles from my ass alongside a very unpleasant gas into the face of my loved one as any man would just make a laugh in it i'm just gonna head out onto the beach get my belly out

i'm gonna drink my water out of a plastic bottle and then eat it when i'm done as well

so uh that is that one then uh apparently i love how they chased it back how did they figure that out?

We've got CCTV footage.

Okay, it's cool.

It's a perfect match.

So

Turtle Tortoise News,

you'll love this.

I love this, yeah.

There's a tortoise called Goliath.

Right.

Right.

And he is

a galap.

A Goliath.

Big old tortoise.

He is 135 years old.

Right.

Okay.

And he has just become a father.

My God.

That's correct.

He's like the Al Pacino of the tortoise world

he's like the robert de niro of the tortoise was the person was the tortoise that he created new life with 20 years old uh probably

oh my god almost

almost certainly uh he so he is he is 234 kilos wow he's massive god he's a unit his little babies he can't sound like a fine specimen you can they they're like the size of the palm of your hand he's not like well he'll still be around for the New York slime crisis in 10 million years, probably.

They live a long time.

So apparently, he was tempted with various several females, and it wasn't until he met Sweet Pea,

who is the

little sweet P.

Come on, rub my shell for me.

Oh, yeah.

It doesn't say anything about sweet peace.

These articles never mention the women.

Do you know Charles Dance's father?

You know, the actor Charles Dance.

Yes.

His dad was born in 1874 wow holy crap isn't that crazy that's crazy and was and was old as when he had charles dance his wife was i think 30 and dance senior was in his 70s um and now charles dance is old as and uh yeah 1874 that's pretty wild

that is that's napoleonic isn't it that's crazy no i that's not well i think anna nicole smith's um late husband was born in like 1625

and they got married when he was like 95 years old napoleon died in 1821 there is a there is a um we don't we honestly that whole decade we're just like that was napoleonics wasn't it

that whole century

1801 to 1901 it's just napoleon in it 100 years of boshing around yeah so uh there is a

okay there's there's that's that's that orcas yeah uh you know orcas they're yeah they're green wow those lads they've been seen using kelp to exfoliate each other and stuff.

So, like, using tools, basically.

Right.

Get ready with me orca channel on TikTok.

The first marine.

The first marine.

Yeah, they're like rubbing kelp and stuff on their

day with a kelp rub applied by one of the other orcas because I don't have hands.

And then it's off in the ocean for 24 hours of swimming and torturing a couple of seasons.

Because it's like in 10 years, there's going to be like

Orca Steve, Steve, the big influencer who said that you should smother kelp all over yourself daily, has died from

kelp.

I was going to tell you, what would be more likely is he

actually assaulted someone.

That would be the normal fucking content creator path to go down, isn't it?

This is a fucking insane article that apparently mushrooms have

played a song on a keyboard.

Fuck off.

Next.

Here's an article.

Next.

Don't even read any of that, please.

Next.

Straight to the market.

Apparently,

was it the theme music for Doom?

Because anytime anything plays music, it always seems to be Doom.

If the mushrooms are

that would be amazing.

Yeah, that would be amazing.

Lewis, I don't want you to read that story.

Do not read it.

We were so afraid of AI taking our jobs that we forgot to see the real threat.

Please let the mushrooms take over.

I like them a lot more better.

don't let the mushrooms take over.

They are nasty.

I hate fungus is so fucking nasty.

Anyway, sorry.

A retro gaming YouTuber in Italy

may face jail time for reviewing an Android-powered handheld gaming device that sometimes comes pre-loaded with old games.

So as emulation

is on the murky gray area of what's allowed, Right.

Um, sometimes they're that these he's he's he basically is a guy who sort of has had tons and tons of old going consoles and random game consoles and ROMs.

And so, yeah, uh, he's he might be going to prison for just buying something that was preloaded with ROMs that he didn't even download or install himself.

Man, there you go.

That's a fucking spooky world we live in, isn't it?

Yo, what are you in for?

Oh, well, um,

I've got a whole bunch of ROMs on my handheld device.

Like, uh, I got um, teenage teenage bearded ninjas tunnels from the snares.

Do you remember that game?

It came out in 1991.

So yeah, gaming news otherwise, old school RuneScape is more popular than ever.

Yes.

It's very popular.

It's

a RuneScape.

Good.

So yeah.

Sorry, RuneScape enjoys, but no.

To give you some idea, Sips, there is...

That is not just a casual game.

I don't want to hear too much about it because

a lot of people say don't go near it because for you, it's like crazy.

No, no, no, no, no, it's not for you.

I guarantee you it's not for you.

All right, I will give you an example.

This is something I was reading.

I watched a video about this the other day, actually, and I've read a bit about it.

I have mates who play Rune Escape.

They're obsessed with it, but it's the amount of efficiency that you need to have.

There is an add-on you can get that is like a clicker tempo thing.

If you click your mouse every point, every 0.6 seconds, you can get a hit in on the exact tick of the server so you can do more attacks.

And if someone, if you're on one health, an enemy fires an arrow at you, if you only have one health, the arrow will only do one hit point of damage.

So while the arrow is in the air, you have, I think, half a second to quickly eat some food that gives you an extra health.

So now you're on two health.

So the arrow only does one health.

That's the level of bullshittery that this game is.

It's not just a fun, oh, let's go chop some wood.

These lads are doing it.

Like, I have to make sure that I chop wood exactly efficiently, click, click, click, click, click.

It's insane.

People have been talking about

a lot of big WoW streamers have been going over to RuneScape and talking about it and being very much like, well, this is like, they're saying things like, well, I think one of the things I saw said, RuneScape feels like Wow without the FOMO or like it feels like, I don't know, like different, it's very different, a very, very different game.

But anyway,

it's got 240,000 players compared to the official RuneScape, RuneScape version, which has only got...

a tenth as many players.

So it's really like

having a moment right now, old school RuneScape.

It's just if you are a

super, super sweat, and you really want a game where you can focus on things like server tick rates and maximum efficiency, it's 100% for you, and it will eat your time.

I do not think that is you, brother.

For the games that you play, I think you'd get this is really annoying quite quickly, in my opinion.

Well, here you go.

This is the next article.

The odds of getting 360 no-scoped by someone who consumes prune juice are higher than you think.

Older adults represent a significant chunk of US gamers.

More than a quarter of the 205 million gamers in the US are 50 and older.

Wow.

Almost half of baby boomers play a video game every week.

And 36% of people in their 80s play a video game every week.

Oh my God.

Well, that'll be me when I, if I ever make it to my 80s and I'm in my 80s, I'll be gaming.

I'll still be gaming.

Yeah.

What else are you going to do with that age?

There's, there's like, for example, there's like a 60-year-old tactical grandma who's so good at Call of Duty that she's got hundreds of thousands of followers on Twitch.

Yeah,

it's crazy.

It's a huge, untapped marketplace.

Old people games.

You know, maybe you want to, maybe we should like invest in games where your grandchildren give you a phone call or, you know,

just a thing that reminds you when Matlock's on.

Yeah.

I don't know.

What's all the stuff?

All the old stuff.

All the good old stuff.

Yeah.

You're going to be qualified as an older adult soon, P Flax.

How do you feel about that?

Sorry, say it again.

I missed the start.

When do you turn 50, P Flax?

Next year, March.

Next March.

Older adults.

That is what I'm saying.

So

what were you saying?

You asked me a question.

Repeat it.

Please.

You're going to be an older adult.

Yes, I already feel like I am.

I don't give a shit.

I felt old for the last eight years, I'd say.

41, I thought things are going all right.

45, I said,

not so great.

And now I'm 50 next year.

I mean, I'm just old.

I've just abandoned all hope of ever being young and energetic ever again.

So I'm just trying to, you know,

lean into it as possible.

Just be chill.

But if you lean into it, you become that stereotypical grumpy old man.

People tell me I'm a grumpy old man online and stuff, but I really think it's an unfair

unfair statement.

Microsoft has just turned 50 and it's released these

Mike Rosoft.

Michael Rosoft

has made some special Crocs, custom Crocs, Windows XP Crocs, for you to

Windows XP.

Windows XP Crocs.

I'm interested in Windows XP Crocs because Windows XP is still a good.

There you go.

I've posted a little picture of

it.

Enjoy.

They have a little clippy on them.

They've got a little

recycle pin.

Those are

ghastly.

They are hilarious, honestly.

Those are like tins that you can pin through the holes of the Crocs.

Yes, Yes, yes, they're very popular.

They cost $80

and they come with a matching drawstring backpack.

Oh my god.

So there you go.

If you want to have something to take the bins out in, that also reminds you of the old, good old days of Windows XP.

Yes.

There you go.

That's the thing that's probably not available now.

Finally, some more accessories that will ensure I will never touch a female for the rest of my life.

This is exactly what I needed.

More accessories to help me with this.

Could you drive women away from me even more, please?

Thank you.

Speaking of little, wait, little update for all the Puritans out there.

I've unfollowed all of the thirst traps on my Instagram.

Really?

Yes, okay.

What do you think?

Like, what the fuck is the difference?

You seem to get so much joy from that.

Why, why are you doing that?

I did, but I unfollowed them for two reasons.

One, because I got sick of people saying I was, and I quote, a bad father for following those ladies.

Fuck you.

I don't want to give them that ammunition, so I've unfollowed.

Okay.

Don't need the puritanical right coming after me, being a bunch of Christian knobbeds about it.

But two, and the real reason is if you followed me, it apparently would recommend these accounts to you quite often.

So I was like, okay, fair enough.

And so I unfollowed.

Occasionally I still

can get in on some of this hot

reaction.

Well, I'm sorry, but now when I click search to look for new accounts, there's a surprising lack of bosoms on here.

It's all like sports stuff and people I know and like Harry Hill clips.

Okay.

So I'm like, this is actually a lot better.

Maybe

not that it's ever been recommended to me on any

platform.

I do want to point something out.

I do want to point him out.

I do also still know a lot of very attractive women and working in esports and working with the yachts, that is just the way it is.

So every time you see an attractive woman, maybe just think to yourself, hey, maybe that's someone he knows rather than kind of asking me.

Just a thought.

Good.

Thank you.

That's a great way to do it.

So a man has has been awarded $12,000 after Google Street View camera caught him naked in his back garden.

So obviously he has got a six and a half foot high wall around his garden.

But the Google streetcar is taller than that and it could see over and it caught him nude and he got and it was it was revealed to all of his small town in Argentina and he was very embarrassed by it.

So

it was it he was apparently ridiculed at work and amongst his neighbors.

Well, for being nude.

Up until recently, a court dismissed

his claim for damages ruling.

He only had himself to blame for walking around in inappropriate conditions in the garden of his home.

However, after an appeal, they concluded

this man's dignity had been fragrantly, flagrantly, sorry, flagrantly violated.

I don't know if my penis has ever felt direct sunlight before.

Right.

I don't think it's ever even seen the light of day, has it?

Not often.

No, it's normally, it's normally

tucked away.

Hot at night to see.

There have been times when sun has come in a window, or I've had the windows open and some sunlight has come in.

But like directly on your penis?

I would say, yeah,

if I'm indoors and the windows, we've got like those big dormer windows, if they're open because it's hot and I'm in some sunlight, yeah, I'm sure some of it's directly in my penis.

Outdoors,

I have been skinny dipping, but I kept my underpants on.

But that's been then,

like skinny dipping is something that kind of happens at night, though.

It was nighttime.

But

there's a lot of shrinkage, you know, like George said, there's shrinkage.

I don't want to be there

with this tiny little cold pee-pee and people will be like, oh, that's all he's carrying around.

So I wore underpants.

I think it's food for thought, though.

No, I'm trying to think of if my penis has ever seen the light of day either.

Outdoors.

Like, it'll be naturally lit in your house during the day.

I've had my dick out for sure.

I'm just wondering if

I don't know if I've ever basked in direct sunlight.

So directionally, he's a very good one.

That Argentinian man who is in his backyard naked has felt full-on,

unfiltered sunlight directly onto his penis.

And I don't know if I've ever had it.

You know, when you're born in a hospital, you know, you then get swaddled and you get taken home and everything's covered up, right, for your whole life.

So I don't know if ever my, I have been, maybe when I was a little boy, maybe like playing in the garden or something.

But within living adult memory.

All right, here's here's when it might have happened if you've ever had to take a pee outdoors

up against a tree or something like that.

Yeah, but even then, it's not, I don't know if I would have done that in direct sunlight.

I would have found it under a tree.

Yeah, there's some shade, yeah.

That's true.

I'm trying to think of it.

Maybe it was.

No, okay, that's nice to know.

Maybe it was dappled, like dappled.

So it may have felt dappled sunlight upon its shaft, but it has not felt the raw solar.

You need to get my dish into a tan booth or maybe just get one of those, you know, like one of those lights that people use, like when they don't get enough sunlight, like an indoor light.

Yeah.

You know, maybe just shine that right onto my dick or something.

I don't know.

Maybe, I think my dick would benefit from it.

Get a bit of sunlight on your pee-pee.

Hey, here's a little, here's our week's mission.

We could set ourselves all a mission of get some sunlight on your pee-pee, even if only just for a second, just to say you.

Don't take a picture of it.

No, no pictures.

And listen, I'm not asking chat.

I'm not asking people listening to this.

I'm saying the three of us.

Oh.

Okay.

I'm not asking listeners.

We're going to a family holiday destination next week.

Yeah, but there might be a moment where it's really sunny.

There's nowhere to be a little bit more.

I won't risk it.

Just for a second.

That would be.

What if?

I mean, that would be really embarrassing.

You know.

What are you doing?

Just trying to get some sun on the end of the family.

I realize that I've reached the age of 45 years and I don't think my penis has ever enjoyed direct sunlight.

So I decided that this is the time for it to happen in the middle of this.

And the Google Park comes flying by

this heavily touristed area.

I've got my penis out, everybody, and it is.

Look away, everybody.

He needs to see sunlight.

He must enjoy the kiss of the sun.

I want my dick to be sun-kissed this.

My sun-kissed cock.

My sun-kissed summer

cock.

We're stopping.

There is your podcast title.

Thank goodness.

Sun-kissed summer cock.

That's amazing.

Jesus Christ.

There's different ways to interpret that one as well, I suppose.

Thank you, everyone.

Anyway, goodbye.

Oh, my God.

Don't

fuck me.

Yes.

Shit.

My son kissed.

Oh, oh, God.

Okay, God.

I didn't even notice that.

Just got it.

See you later.

Bye.

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Hi, I'm Dan Maher, host of the Convergence Podcast, where I invite the talented, inventive, and uncompromising minds behind some of your favorite and soon-to-be-favorite indie games to talk about what they do best.

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