Star Trek Nerd Rage | Triforce #332

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Ah, I'm unpacking my clothes.

I just bought some clothes from a very cool shop in Hamburg.

Hello everyone.

Hello.

Welcome back to the Trifles podcast.

Tell me more about this bag of clothes that you bought.

I went to a store called Thomas Punkt.

Nice.

Which is

a family-run shop.

45 yarn we have been here and it has been the family set it up and then their children and then the children of their children and all of the clothes are made locally by local artists and fashionists and you will pay a lot more for a t-shirt than you thought you would very common

is it like you bruno now basically

it's a it looks first of all it's a really lovely shop it's It's in a big sort of four-story, looks like a house, but it's tall.

So, it clearly was like an old factory building of some kind.

It's in the middle of sort of downtown Hamburg, surrounded by like the Nike store and everything.

And there's this one icon of that very sort of 60s, 70s, post-war, very lefty, liberal Deutschland, which was like, money is evil, and we should abandon property, you know, that kind of thing, which was their sort of rebound from the depths of fascism.

They went straight to the other side, a lot of people in Berlin and stuff like that.

Uh, and so this was clearly a collective, uh, born out of that, but now it's just run by a bunch of hipsters.

So, I went in there, and there was a lady even older than me, and she was like, Yavi have been running this shop for so long now, and you will find fashion here, you will not find in your Londons or your Paris or your New York.

And I was like, Okay,

and it was just t-shirts, no, no, they had all kinds of stuff there, but the thing is, a lot of it was very Germanic, obviously.

So quite

a bit,

no, like very boxy, wide sleeve, wide arm, very square shaped.

Lots of GIMP wear.

No GIMP wear.

Well, you've got a very dim view of Germans.

They like to, they work hard, but they play harder, I'm told.

Yeah.

But Hamburger, I spent about an hour and a half this morning walking around it.

And it's obviously this city was severely mauled during World War II.

So an awful lot of it was flattened.

Just when I was coming here, my mum actually told me that her grandfather, who was in the Air Force in World War I, he came here because he ended up working with German companies post-World War I and then post-World War II.

They made a lot of ball bearings in this part of Germany, which is why it got fucking bombed so much, because ball bearings apparently win wars.

And he came here and when he got into Hamburg and looked, it was just still, you know, being rebuilt.

And he was just appalled at the devastation because it was like like a lot of classic classic European cities.

You go somewhere like Vienna or Munich that was spared the bombing,

and then you come back to places like Hamburg and like Coventry and like Dresden that were just fucking ruined by the war and lost all of that architecture and that beauty.

So they've done a good job of rebuilding it.

It still has that sort of German style with the very tall buildings with the wide avenues, coffee shops, and trees and things.

But you'll see this very gorgeous old pre-war building next to a real brutalist slab of concrete.

So it has an interesting vibe, but chill people and good coffee.

So I'm liking it so far.

Has the tournament started yet?

The tournament is indeed live.

I don't work today or tomorrow.

So it's an easy shift.

Yeah.

So I'm just chilling at the moment.

Yeah, that's good.

It's nice to get some time off, isn't it?

Just to

keep an eye on the games.

Rest and recuperate.

Yeah, keep an eye.

I haven't been following the international.

I meant to, and then I forgot to and now I feel like it's too late to to get

me asked for this this stuff any it's too much going on do you know I mean it's a lot

going on some band playing or a movie or I'm too busy breeding horse racing girls recently you're playing that uma uma masumi uma masumi yeah so my friend uh my friend surprisingly addicted actually yeah yeah I watched her play it and I love the it's got all the little sort of anime touches.

Like, I was like, I clearly, I'm clearly not going to play this because apparently it's very pay to win when you do PvP.

Um, but I would probably do it.

It's such a small part of it, Pv, the PvP, right?

So it's like you, it's like you're like

the girls are running, they've got their tail and they're running like that, and then they'll sort of go and like wipe their brow, and then it'll say, like, plus velocity, and they're going.

And I thought, this does look quite fun, I guess.

But then it's got all the storyline shit.

And I was like, Alex, it's going to be too weird.

Oh, you can skip all that.

I play on like mega fast speed.

I don't even watch the races anymore.

I just play it like a football manager.

Yeah, I just like, I don't watch anything.

I just like

a spreadsheet.

It is a spreadsheet, basically.

Yeah.

You just, it's a

legacy loop.

You want to make like parents and grandparents that can like imbue stats into your races to like push them up.

You breed the girls?

You don't breed them, but it's like, okay, you know, like you're.

It's roguelike in the sense that like the you, you, you do like the, you know, the story, the races, um, and then you, you, you kind of build up a character over a brief period of time.

And then however they finish, they might win the whole thing, they might not.

Uh, you retire them like, like you would do like a normal horse or whatever.

And then they have a chance of rolling stats.

So you're, you're trying to get like these blue spark stats rolled to the highest, which is like three.

And then when, when you get that, then you, your, your, your next runs are a bit better because you can imbue those stats into your next racer.

You see what I mean?

So there's like affinities and there's all these, it is,

you can easily break it down into a spreadsheet and just enjoy that side of it if you like as well and not worry too much about all the other stuff.

But I mean, it's like pretty repetitive, but it's a nice looking game.

And like, you know, the sounds and everything are pretty cool and the music and everything.

So it's like, it's fine, you know?

Yeah, it's been, it's, it's, it's, it's a good, it's a good one.

It's neat.

I mean, watch the races at first because they're entertaining.

The commentary and stuff is very funny.

Uh, I mean, they get so fucking carried away, though.

Like, they're just going crazy in there.

My feeling about horse racing is that it was just

one of those quirky things that's dying out because of the cruelty and the weird, yeah, sort of upper-class, but also farmer vibe of like the people who are in it.

You know, it's a very unique group of people who are involved in like the queen, yeah, yeah, like like toothy British people, yes, you know, but also people.

Yes, I'm entering lazy Sunday to win the championship.

Yeah.

Well, I think he might be underestimating the popularity of horse racing, especially globally.

I think it is.

It's still very popular, yeah.

And there's camel racing as well in other parts of the world.

They do camel racing, cock fighting, for example.

Cock fighting.

DMX used to do dog fights, lots of dog fighting.

And Michael Vick famously.

The kind of people who were willing to gamble on it, though, are also the kind of people who go to sort of dog racing or go to the bookies, you know, and that is not necessarily the mainstream person, is it?

It's kind of a more working class individual.

Do you know what I'm saying?

Or, dare I say it, a more working class.

Well, it's weird that the horse racing

bridges that gap, though,

there's still a very British after the glue factory.

Graceful working classes.

You see it, right?

Like, there's still a very British television made for people.

You know, it's like all the soap operas are all very easy.

They're made for the working class.

They're all very

of a

thing.

I mean, the fetished stench of the working class.

Oh, God.

Listen, speaking of British television, I watched a show last night.

It's like Married at First Sight

and Survivor combined.

And it was, oh, God, it was pretty bad.

Married at First Survivor?

Survivor at First Sight.

So they speed date.

They're matchmade at the end of this process of speed dating by professionals, quotation marks.

And then their honeymoon is on

a small boat that's taking them to an island.

And then they have a bit of champagne.

And then they jump into the ocean wearing like their wedding dresses and suits or whatever.

swim to this island and then they have to live together with like nothing like it like survivor style like they get like a couple of tins of beans and they got to like build fires they got no bug nets and they don't have any clothes or anything it's just whatever they turn up in so my suggestion to you is if you're gonna go on that show and get married get married in like fucking navy seals gear um if you want to survive right because they're on there for weeks apparently or get married to um that that survival guy it is mad i'm gonna wash my hands you guys keep talking i've been outside so i want to wash my hands uh this It was hosted by Davina McCall.

Of course, it was.

It's like BBC One.

It's unbelievable, actually.

I felt like I'd gone back in time, like 30 years.

But I mean, it was stranded on Honeymoon Island.

Stranded on Honeymoon Island.

Yeah.

This is what I watched yesterday.

I watched this last night.

And I'll probably watch it again tonight as well.

Oh, it's so

all right.

Well, I mean, yeah.

If you're looking for something to watch, Lewis, I think you would really enjoy Stranded on Honeymoon Island.

I'm not going to watch it, but

that's my big up for this week.

I've been watching it.

That's my one big up.

This garbage guilty TV is fine.

Do you know what I mean?

It's fine, isn't it?

It's like a guilty pleasure.

It's like relaxing.

You turn your brain off.

for half an hour.

All the contestants look like they've been stung by jellyfish before they even enter the ocean for the first time.

They all have

the teeth and the fillers and everything it's it's mad

i don't know where they find all these people they look like they've been stung by jelly

to the ocean go out sometimes i don't see these people when i'm out and about

in essex they're not in jersey they're in essex i suppose yeah what what the honeymoon island is like the fucking isle of um no all the bee stung lips people the people with the lips that look five times the size of a normal lip it's i mean you i i guess like you know if you are self-conscious about your lips, because you haven't got any, I guess, you know, get some.

I guess they've got lips.

They just want bigger, bigger ones.

Yeah, it's bizarre.

It's bizarre.

It's one of the worst ones for me in a sense.

Like, people always were like, oh, don't get tattoos.

Why do you think it'd be so painful, too, to have like injections into your lips?

Like, ouch.

But I feel like lips are one of the worst ones.

If you get all the saggy, if you get the lips

swollen up, they ain't, you're going to have to have them desagged later on.

It's just such a bad idea, the lips thing.

Didn't anyone learn from the trout pouts of the 90s?

They still do it.

What was that one?

The famous one.

She was in Men Behaving Badly.

Leslie Ash.

Oh, she had the iconic trout.

She had the iconic trout pout at the time.

I don't want to bring people's looks into it like all the time or whatever.

But I mean, a big part of watching these shows is that you do kind of, you know, comment on people's looks and stuff.

Because I think a lot of the people on these shows really rate themselves as well.

So, you know, like, I think they're like, yeah, look at me.

So

you want to comment on their looks or at least think about it kind of thing.

But

have you guys heard of Paris Jackson?

I'm so ignorant.

I've just learned about this, this lady.

No.

So she's Michael Jackson's only child.

Oh, yeah, okay.

I know.

Only Paris Jackson.

Wait, only daughter?

She's the second child and only daughter of Michael Jackson.

She was the one that he dangled out on the balcony.

Exactly.

The famous balcony dangle.

Oh, my God.

In London, yeah.

So here's what I don't get.

I'm not being funny.

Michael Jackson was a black man, 100%, especially in his youth.

He looked, he had an Afro, he had dark skin, he was clearly a black man of African descent.

Yeah.

Harris Jackson is the whitest woman I've ever seen.

She is blonde.

She has blue eyes and

she has looks nothing like she has any kind of mixed race heritage whatsoever.

Well, wait, who's her mother, though?

Debbie Rowe, this nurse.

Debbie Rose, that's nice.

Who's literally paid money to have a baby?

Clearly, this is a surrogate child.

I just find it fascinating that she's listed on Wikipedia as being Michael Jackson's biological child.

I don't believe that.

I'm sorry, but I don't believe it.

Happy to be proven wrong.

If you know otherwise, email him for a future mailbag episode and let me know.

But I'm pretty sure.

She said she's multiracial, but considers herself black.

That is so fascinating.

She really doesn't look black at all.

It looks like she's got no black heritage whatsoever.

Right, I'm going to look her up.

Hang on a second.

Paris Jackson.

I'm going to have the final word on on this you do it

because you're the authority paris

american model and actress i don't know she's gonna do it images i don't even need to she comes up there's image she's 27 years old wait she was born in 98 yeah oh when did when did when was the balcony dangled probably around 98 99 she looks like a little bit like a young madonna No, it is frightening that a dangling baby that, as I remember them, is now 27 years old.

That is, that is,

I just think it's funny.

I can't deal with that.

Sips is like, wait, that was 1998?

As if that happened like five years ago.

Like, this was so, all of this stuff was so long ago.

All this Michael Jackson.

She's 27 years old now.

Yeah.

I remember when she was just being dangled out of off a balcony as a baby.

I can remember when you were being dangled out of a balcony, baby.

Hey, look, it's the little dangler.

Oh, look, she's all grown up.

The little dangler's all big, big 27-year-old lady now.

Oh, man.

Well,

interesting.

Paris Michael Catherine Jackson.

Paris Michael.

She's actually called Paris Michael.

Her first name is Paris Michael.

Catherine Jackson.

That is

quite...

She has had quite the life of being embroiled in

that whole mess.

God.

Poor, poor, poor woman.

She is a multi-millionaire, though I'm so.

Let's hope so.

Yeah.

So she can kind of of do what she wants, I guess.

You know, that's just how it is.

Uh, damn, that's that's crazy.

So, what you guys done this week?

Anything fun?

You've been up to anything, got so many fans

or got rained on, or I got rained on.

Yeah, my kids are all back to school.

My kids all went back to school this week, so it's been uh,

it's been an interesting one.

My youngest started school.

Uh, yesterday was her first day, yesterday.

She's fine, today, not fine.

She's like, she realized, hang on a second, I have to come here again.

I'm going to cry and cried.

But her teacher is like pretty good, though.

Her teacher's like, why don't you come and help me do this?

And we're like, okay, bye.

Just left.

But I mean, you got, they got, they gotta, they gotta get used to it.

You know, it takes a couple of weeks.

Sometimes, some, some take a long others.

Yeah, you're now, yeah, you're now, you're now doing this.

Yeah, this is, you have, you have to do it.

Yeah, I think she likes here every day.

She likes

the morning.

I'm not going to be new with another adult and all these shitty kids you don't know.

That's this is your life now.

Yeah, she'll she'll be fine.

Once she once she makes a couple of friends and stuff, I think she'll be fine.

Oh, yeah.

It's just uh, it's it's early days, but I think she likes uh the morning before we take her uh because she feels like she's doing the same thing as her older sister and brother, you know, because they're getting ready to go to school.

But they're like, they're, they're really mopey about it now because they're older, you know, they're like, oh, fucking school.

Fuck, why do I gotta go to school?

You know, like you get all the philosophicals in the morning.

What is the point of this?

Why do I have to go?

I gotta go there all day.

Why do I have to be there all day?

Why can't it just be like one hour?

And so you're like, okay, just fucking go to school.

Come on.

Like, you know, I feel like that's at least something they can all agree on, though, even though they're all quite different ages.

Yeah,

like

I get why it was made.

The thing is, I don't think, uh, I don't think young kids are designed to just be at home all day, like past a certain age.

There's nothing for them to do.

And, you know, and then they're just like, oh, can I,

paint

a marble sculpture of a rubber?

No, go to fucking school.

You can't do that here.

We don't have these things that you've devised all of a sudden.

You know what I mean?

Like, they just get crazy after a while.

Can I swim with a dolphin?

Yeah.

No.

No.

No, fucking go to school.

If they let you do it at school, you do it there.

If they've got dolphins at school, you ride them.

Okay.

But there's none here.

We're not doing dolphins.

Like,

it kind of gets that point so it's good i think it's good for them to go to school i think it's i think it's good i mean i don't think it's good for anyone to stay at home all day but uh this is coming from a man who has spent 40 years

playing video games all day yeah at home yeah so i know but like you know i think i find myself going crazy and like getting very sort of anxious if i'm sat at home or having i find it i still I find it strange and difficult to have a day off, you know, it almost feels like cheating, you know, like just from having a full-time job and then, you know, because those days off were so rare when you got that, you know.

And now, I still get that same like feeling when I'm at home that I should be doing something, I should be going somewhere, I should be working on something.

Find it very difficult to just I work on lots of stuff while I'm at home, like a factory or like a grocery store, or like uh, oh, I see, prison, I make a prison sometimes, a meat factory

the game allows me to make a meat factory, spaceships, been making lots of spaceships.

Um, I'm

pretty busy guy, like, I got lots to do, frizzy, Pretty

good.

I'm pretty.

Yeah.

Make friezy.

Make frizzy.

Yeah.

God bless it, though.

I love staying at home.

I'd hate to go.

Like I go out enough, I think.

I got a good balance.

I'm forced out more than I would like to be through having a family and stuff.

But, you know, like when I get back, I'm like, oh, God, I'm glad to be home.

I'm glad, like, even when I'm on vacation, I'm like, oh, it's nice to be home.

Nice to get home to all your familiar, your stuff and everything and your your routines and everything it's good to go away but like uh it's good to be home but i've never really struggled being at home some people are like oh i get bored at home or i don't want to be i i need to go out i need to do stuff i'm like i'm the opposite i i do i don't need to go anywhere i don't need to be around people really that often and i don't need to i don't feel like i have to go anywhere you know if i if i if i need to go to town to get something i just go get that one thing i don't like waste any time like browsing or whatever i just want to get back you know raise my horse girls get Get them girls.

Breed my horse women.

That's what I want to do.

Got any plans today?

I'm going to breed my horse girls.

Race them.

New grandparent with

three stats for my horse girls today.

I don't know.

I guess

write in and let us know.

Do you like being at home?

Do you like working at home?

Would you

prefer to go out to an office?

I can't imagine much many people do.

Loads of people you read about are like, fuck, I had they're make they're forcing us back into the office and stuff.

I think 99%

to be at home every day, all the time.

Yes, it's far cheaper to be at home, that's for sure.

Oh, god, you have your own lunch, yeah.

Won't you think of the estate tax and the money that all these companies paid for these expensive, shitty offices that all look the same?

Won't you think of them?

I will, yeah, I will think of them.

Won't someone think of the rich people?

Won't somebody think of them?

Please.

Why doesn't someone think of the billionaire?

Guys,

we're starving here.

They're in big trouble now.

They're down to their last few billions.

Oh, man.

God, you're making me feel bad now.

I'm sorry.

I'm going to grab some water.

You guys crack on.

This is great because, I mean, everything is in one room.

Take a bite of my bagel here.

What is you living life?

What is the plan for you on these two days when you're not working then?

What are you going to be doing?

Hang out with friends.

Friends?

See Hamburg?

Friends.

See Hamburg.

You're going to see Hamburg with friends.

I mean, obviously, everyone I work with in Dotra, I've known them for over 10 years.

A long time, yeah.

Good friends of mine.

They're like, I have multiple groups of friends that rarely meet, not because I keep them separate, but because of the nature of

worlds to collide.

I'm chewing.

I'll be back in one second.

It's funny, really, how he's like, just kind of just like this, isn't it?

Just kind of slinks around, you know, like he sounds like he's just having a lot of fun all the the time.

I think he is.

I think he's just clearly in a good place.

Just like he likes having fun.

He's escaped from the family.

He's off on his own.

He's on his own adventure.

Yeah.

He could do what he wants.

Fuck.

Eat a bagel just on the podcast with no repercussions.

You know, we're not shutting it down.

No.

No.

God.

We've been doing this far too many episodes to give a shit.

We're professionals, so we can have a lot of fun.

I do give a shit.

I do give a shit.

I'm sorry.

No, no, no.

Not you.

We us.

I don't give a shit.

Yeah, if we're professional, at this point in our lives, it's funny to think we are actually professional podcasters.

I know a lot of people are like, oh, well, I could fucking start a podcast.

Well, why don't you fucking start one then?

Why don't you fucking start one and see if you can do better?

I've got

all the Yoggs friends, like all the friends I've made through the Yoggs, like you guys, and everyone down in Bristol and everything.

Are they all in Hamburg with you right now?

No, because you are not in Hamburg, are you?

And you're one of my friends.

No, I am not in Hamburg.

Okay, very well.

No, to oh, not one of my friends either.

So

fair enough.

Well, I said you're one of my friends, and you said, no, I'm not.

I didn't say that.

I said, I'm not in Hamburg.

Right, but I said, I'm in Hamburg right now, and so are my friends.

And you said, I think I'm right enough.

I did that thing where I think I guessed what you were going to say and responded to that instead of actually listening to what you said.

Right.

So

none of the Yogs people are in Hamburg.

Some of the, like, obviously all my Dota friends, people that I've worked with for...

Some of them longer than 10 years, some of them nearly 15 years.

And I've known them a long time and love all of them.

Then I've got like my old friends from Bournemouth and from school and stuff like that.

And then friends I've made up in London.

And it's tricky because I love them all, but they're all kind of geographically disparate.

Yes.

So it's kind of hard to

think of like how to get them together.

So one of the things that me and Mrs.

F do, every 10 years, we sort of renew our wedding vows, which is, I think I've spoken about it before.

It's a nice thing to do.

That's nice.

Get it born together and you sort of have another mini wedding and you just say, yes, we still love each other and we're still married and

darling.

And then it's just an excuse for a party and everything.

So it was really nice.

So I get, I gather, oh, and my poker friends, the group of people that I played poker with for many years.

When's your

group of friends?

When's your next renewal?

Um, let me think.

It was my anniversary on the 1st of September.

Oh,

that was our 24th wedding anniversary.

Jeez.

Um, so six years' time.

Six years.

So we're 2031.

Put that in your calendar, Lewis.

We're going to crash.

No, honestly, I would absolutely love you guys to come next time.

in six years okay yeah yeah i'll be there where are you gonna have it in london oh that's kind of far well

you do it that's why he didn't bother inviting you last time in jersey

can't you come to my house

come come to jersey and do it i feel like you just go to london on a whim though sometimes sips don't you like there'll be some minor celebrity like doing some book signing and you'll be like yeah i'm just flying over for the afternoon it's like

ice cube was happened to be shopping in in the area, and I thought I'd come over and I would do it.

If it was like, maybe not Ice Cube, but like, you know, I would get like for a show or something, I would definitely go.

But the thing is, it's quick and easy to do.

You can do that in like a night, you know?

You don't need to be away for like too long.

So, like, sometimes, yeah,

I can just about swing it.

The problem is, is, I mean,

we're connected if you like to London, but like, you got to land in Heathrow.

We used to have a flight to London City, which is really nice.

It's much, it was was much easier to uh to just land in london city just get right onto the tube and zip around and stuff i like well heathrow and gatwick are both kind of a pain in the ass so the the thing is heathrow is near me like it's a 20 minute cab ride so if you did come yeah which i'm not expecting you to but if you did yeah um you would just get the little little biplane or whatever you get from jersey over to heathrow yeah it's like a 20 25 minute cab ride you're in twickenham that's where the party would be and then you could off the next day so

it's not a biplane from here to Heathrow.

Okay, what is it?

It's an actual Airbus something, you know, like one of the smaller Airbus

planes, you know.

Yeah, but you can't just refer to it as an Airbus because that implies it's huge, but it's clearly not.

It is.

It's here.

Hang on.

It's not the Airbus.

I'm looking up flight radar right now.

Okay, I'm going to go have a look at Jersey Airport and see what's taking off.

Okay, take a look.

You're looking for a British Airways flight from Jersey to Heathrow, which would have left probably this morning.

There's probably another one like pretty soon.

And then I think there's another one tonight.

It's like an Airbus,

yeah, it's like

150-seater or something.

It's like, it's a big, it's a big plane.

Oh, that is, that is, uh, that is a sizable

Airbus A319.

Yeah.

It's actually.

You want to see the size of the runway here.

It's small.

I'm looking at it.

When you touch down, it's like they're fucking slamming the brakes on and you're, you're, you're, you're in the cockpit, like up against the windshield, pretty much.

indeed see but i'm looking here uh one of the other planes that is flying over jersey at an altitude of uh 2000 feet is a uh reams cessna f-172m skyhawk okay well that is a private plane at most a four-seater yeah that's a private plane flying over st catharines as we speak that's a private plane uh if you see any blue islands planes those are like uh turboprop planes as well those those are probably what you would think of you know being the the the type of plane for this place, but no, there are some there's some big commercial jets landing here, too.

So it's an hour flight, easy

from Jersey to Heathrow.

Hour 10.

It's not,

it's, it's not at all, actually.

That's what it says on here.

I know, but it never is.

It's always about 45, 50 minutes.

I see.

You have to be there early.

Bonjour, this is your captain from Jersey.

Taking off in a moment, so make sure your seatbelts are done up and your drink sprays stone away.

Any electrical items that we put

in with this shit mic.

Yeah, we're so time with the shit mic.

Fight that today is scheduled to be leaving cutting out just like on the plane.

Once we land, you can get off the plane and go about your business.

We might be able to make up some time today in the air because we are late to take off.

We missed our windows thanks to the future.

How does that even work?

Yeah, I realize we've been sitting on the taxi stand for seven hours, but don't worry, we'll make the time up in the plane.

And then you get on a seven-hour flight and it takes two hours.

You're like, why don't you do this every time?

So

obviously, it's not actually a seven-hour flight to two hours.

No, but as I understand it,

of course, as I understand it, because I'm being tedious, I have actually read up about why this might be, because it is a common question that I have also had.

One of the things is the route you take is often defined by corridors where you're expected to be part of the same traffic with everyone else.

And your window is like your slot in that alleyway of planes right so you're so that your line you know living where i do i can look and see the line of planes waiting to land at heathrow coming through this sort of this sort of corridor if you like of of uh for landing and taking off so they're coming in to land and one of the things is

plane gap so if you miss your bit

they can make it up for you by bringing you in at a different angle sort of thing so you don't have to go take the bigger route with all these other planes you can come in and they'll sort of like oh after you or something like that it'd be interesting to know how,

because we base the time it takes to get places and the distances based on that on this system.

But it'd be interesting to see how long it would take to get from point A to point B with no other air traffic.

If it was just, if it was just like your flight, it didn't need to fit into any slots or whatever.

I wonder if it would be like a lot quicker.

I think it would be.

The thing is, a lot of it actually is

to do with, I think it's to do with the wind or something, because sometimes when they fly on the longest route, which is New York, Singapore, I think, or something like that, they sometimes go left around the world and sometimes go right, whatever, clockwise.

You do never go the wrong way.

We've gone left, Alpha.

Don't you mean above the world and below the flat earth?

There's no left or right that you can go.

I've confused myself with this explanation, but

I think you got the idea, right?

Sometimes they do, because it's cheaper they all it all they care about is the fuel cost right right for these flights they actually don't really care about how long it takes uh but obviously how long it takes is usually takes takes longer it's more fuel um but obviously fuel is such a huge part of these flights the costs that any reduction they can make is gonna be yeah they're like

they're they're they're they're like fine-tuning it down to the drop on the on these things like there's there's yeah if there's a little bit more money to me bait if they can make an extra nickel on the flight they'll do it you know i think they have to have some reserve emergency fuels and stuff though don't they like a little bit well they just there's like a ratio turbo they don't use the turbo every time no they only use the turbo when they're trying to make up time if you've been delayed

i did number one you have more fuel than number one

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I played a board game with Ben when I was down.

I think we filmed it.

We weren't going to film it.

Then we filmed it, which is is like uh star trek board game oh yeah is that what it's actually called so literally something like that

it's out yeah

star trek board game

something exactly star trek board game star trek board game yeah but it's like a fleet battle thing but you have like one or two ships or whatever and instead of just playing out as right i fire my phases and i roll against your shield and then your shield takes one damage it's it's it's more like um it plays out like an episode of star trek so I was the Federation and he was the baddies.

I can't remember

what are they fucking called.

For my turn, I'm removing Deanna Troy's clothing while she's in the holiday.

The Dominion.

The Dominion.

That's right.

The Dominion.

So you actually have the officers.

So I had...

Captain Bagard, I had Worf, and I had Chief O'Brien were my three officers that I had.

And in the expansions, you can get like Deanna Troy and Riker and all the rest of them.

For my turn, I'm replacing Deanna Troy's hairband with uh jordy leforge's uh visor

here go

so you actually do stuff with the officers or they actually have an effect like picard is great at diplomacy oh nice you can like you can hail like you actually hail the other ships and there's like a mechanic for winning the hail right and sort of talking them into what you want them to do and stuff and it was it was really really good it's a really but it actually plays out just like an episode um it's it's very clever game i enjoyed it nice yeah i'd play that Star Trek board game.

Yeah, Star Trek Board Game.

Thanks to our sponsor for this week's Star Trek Board Game.

I'm going to give my week's shout out to Star Trek Board Game.

Nice.

Is it a little has it got little ships in it and stuff?

It's not just a board game.

It's like a miniature game.

Is it like a day in the life of somebody who lives

on the USS Enterprise 1701-D?

Sadly not.

It's next generation.

I take it.

I think this is called Star Trek Into the Unknown.

And you played the Federation versus Dominion set, which I think is the only one.

This is the one I played.

Yeah, so they're bringing out expansions, but I've played this.

But they have to be quite careful because they can't put...

There's only so much recognizable stuff in Star Trek, right?

Like you obviously recognize the Enterprise.

Okay.

And you recognize the Klingon Bird of Prey.

Right.

Okay.

Yes.

And the Romulan.

And the Romulan.

The Klingon Bird of Prey is the cloaking one, right?

The Bird of Prey.

That was Khan's.

The Romulans also cloak.

But.

No, no Khan Khan didn't have a cloaking vessel in the original.

This is the Ricardo Montelban Khan.

The Wrath of Khan stole a.

He stole a

Reliant class.

No, he stole a Reliant class Enterprise vessel, which was a science vessel that Chekhov had been seconded onto.

He stole that.

Look,

basically,

any Earth-based ship in Star Trek has a similar layer where it's either sort of a fairly boring looking white sort of

shaped thing, or got

or it's got a disc with nacelles above, below.

There's one, sometimes there's two, maybe there's three.

There's nothing boring about the Federation vessels, they're iconic.

They look of a certain that they're iconic, but the all the other stuff in Sagra, apart from a ball cube, which is too big for this game.

No, it's not.

You could absolutely the miniatures are fucking huge in this game, and I don't know if you can see you.

Exactly, and that's why the ball cube is way too big.

Have you seen the size of the board cube?

Yes, but you'll just make a cube, and it like there's it it doesn't matter in terms of the bigness of the miniature.

It really doesn't.

Because it's just, it's not really the biggest factor in the game.

Like, it's not, it's not like

you are measuring distances and inches.

But you've seen how large that Gemadar Cruiser is, innit?

It's massive.

Yeah, it's fucking huge.

But it's all, but it does, the scale doesn't make sense.

Like, you just have a big cube.

That's it.

It doesn't matter if it's to scale because equally, if you look at the board, it's like you have a star.

Okay, I'm just

as someone who has watched all of Star Trek, The Next Generation, DS9, all of Star Trek, all the new stuff, everything.

When Ben showed me that Dominion ship out of the box set, and he was like, what is this?

And I was like, I have no idea.

And he was like, it's from Star Trek.

I was like, I have no idea what it is.

Even though you've told me it's from Star Trek, he was like, I'll give you some clues.

And I couldn't guess what it was.

It's difficult.

But

they want to release the expansions for shit you actually want.

If they give you the Klingons and the Romulans and the Federation and the Starter Pack, no one's going to buy the Dominion expansion because who gives a shit?

People are going to pay for the Klingons.

They're going to pay for the Romulans.

They're going to pay for the pork.

Well, just about.

I mean, but the thing is, it's, you know, already in the starter set, there's like three different kinds of Enterprise.

Do you know what I mean?

Which ones?

No.

There's only one Enterprise.

The 1701-A and the 1701-D and what else?

The Voyager one?

They've got USS Constellation.

The stubby one?

Constellation, yeah.

Constellation.

And there's also the, there's a constellation.

There's like the Reliant class.

There's all kinds of different classes.

But they're basically, the Constellation is the enterprise, but with four nacelles instead of two.

What kind of shuttle is that?

What kind of shuttle is a science vessel?

A science vessel.

They all have the same little shuttle craft.

Yeah, that's fucking good.

But you send away parties, you beam down.

Can't you paint your like

you can't like customize it slightly even?

I don't know, maybe.

I mean, the shuttles aren't little miniatures on the board.

You just have a, you have a thing that says team, and you go to here or they're there.

Like, that's it.

You don't have a little shuttle.

They haven't fleshed out that part of the game.

Maybe that'll be fun.

It's a good game.

It's a good game.

I'm just worried that sometimes these games, you know, it's a little bit like, I always think it's a little bit like these fucking

things that you start.

I mean, you know, when you used to be able to buy, you know, you used to buy those magazines and it was like, build a

train, a steam train in 50 issues.

And so you'd buy episode two and you'd buy episode three and you buy episode four.

But then obviously they'd stop it.

They discontinue it because it's not being sold anymore.

And so you're left with like a half-finished train.

Yeah.

Right.

That I'm worried that this stuff is happening with these types of games.

Like they kickstart a starter set, but they have to hold back any good stuff because they know that they want to keep selling it in the future.

Right.

But they, but they never get to the sell there in the future because the starter set isn't good enough because it's got stuff that people don't recognize.

They're shooting themselves in the foot by having a shitty starter set with stuff that you don't know, you've never heard of in order to try and sell a thing in the future, an expansion for this game, if it gets popular.

It's a risk.

But it might not.

An alternative, though, just don't try to bother.

Just start with the best stuff is what I'm saying.

I think, and then you can worry about if it's successful, great.

Do you know what I'm saying?

Like, so many people

are mad with their strategy.

Just lead with the good stuff, put the good stuff out there.

You have to plan for a future sequel.

It's the same thing with all television shows, right?

And all movies and all these franchises.

Everyone's planning for a fucking franchise or a fucking season two.

Yeah, be careful.

Just make a good season one.

Don't have to plan the first seasons of everything.

Fuck you.

It's an attractive prospect for investors if they can see that they have, you know, other plans.

It's not just like a one-fuck all these people.

Well, nothing would fucking happen without them.

I don't know if you've noticed, but we do live in a society where

capitalism is in full effect.

So it makes sense to have a lot of people.

Do you know what's interesting to me is that sequels used to be seen as what they are, which is a cash grab.

And people didn't have, I was talking about this the other day on stream, actually, that people think of sequels now as like, oh, this is their new blah, blah, franchise.

And I hope there's a sequel to so-and-so.

And people like sequels.

People are willing to go watch sequels.

Like most movies are sequels.

And as much as you say you're sick of them, billions and billions and billions of dollars of reason.

And we've talked about this again, is comfort.

People are cheaper to make a sequel.

People know what they're getting.

They say, I liked that before.

I will like it again.

It's safe.

It's easy.

It used to be

a lot of people.

But that's what a sequel is, right?

Were people just gamblers in the 80s?

They just didn't care.

Yes.

A lot of the movies that came out.

Think about Rocky had sequels and people made fun of it.

The Star Trek movies had sequels.

Like on The Simpsons, they're like Star Trek,

episode 13.

So Very Tired is

the name of the movie.

Well, that's because it's Star Man.

Look at how they used to be.

They were selling toys in the 80s.

They designed all of the toys.

They would make loads of them.

They made He-Man before anybody even knew what He-Man was.

They flooded toy shelves with this toy.

Nobody had a fucking clue what it was.

People would go to the toy store and be like, what the fuck is this?

And then the TV show sold them.

But the TV show is always an afterthought in the 80s.

So yeah,

let's look at the biggest movies of the 80s.

So, oh gosh, some of these are clearly not sequel worthy.

The Killing Fields.

That was apparently a very big movie.

Okay.

Okay.

okay, 1980s in film, highest grossing.

So E.T., they never made a sequel for that.

No.

Star Wars was the first of these big movies.

It made three movies and they all fucking made a bunch of money.

And The Indiana Jones, they made those as well.

Yeah.

That was like

a big problem.

Movies tend to be standalone, apart from things like Top Guns.

Certainly back then,

certainly back then they took a lot more risks than they do.

I think there's a lot of movies that don't have sequels these days, and I don't think it's too, too concerning.

These are the big budget movies.

Beverly Hills Cop, they didn't plan it as part of a franchise.

It was a surprise hit, and then they turned it into movies.

Back to the Future, same deal.

They made this movie.

They didn't think they were going to make a population.

Beverly Hills

was clearly a cash-in.

And so it's clearly Back to the Future 2.

I mean, all of these things were.

Rambo, which was quite an intense movie

about a guy coming home from Vietnam, suddenly became part of a franchise.

Right?

Ghostbusters, they made Ghostbusters.

I don't think they were like, we're definitely going to make a second one.

They didn't think they were going to make the first one.

They thought the first one was

a huge one.

The first one was a miracle that was even released, let alone popular.

Lethal weapon?

I bet they didn't think we're going to make five of these and a TV show.

Home Alone was the same.

Home Alone should never have seen the light of day.

Forrest Gump barely saw the light of day, but was successful.

Like loads of movies from the 80s and the 90s.

were

I don't think they sit out they didn't set out to make diehard into a franchise they didn't set out to make Beverly Hills Copman franchise I think the difference is that it started to become normal to have sequels but you also understood the sequel was going to be shit yeah you thought it's going to be shit.

Well, the industry has evolved since those days now.

Now they're like, this is now part of a multi-verse program.

Of course, it has to be because this is what they think everybody wants.

And

maybe it is what everybody wants.

I don't know.

At the same time, you have seen, we do see some excellent sequels in Terminator 2 and Ghostbusters 2 and some other things.

There were some excellent sequels and reimaginings that have been done very well.

So I think there is this illusion that, like, you know, it's like this, but bigger and better.

You like this, you can get more of this.

And there's nothing wrong with that, right?

It's when it's the problem is when it's when things are designed for a sequel, right?

When people there was that period where James Cameron was like compromised,

a product like this game, or you know, like a lot of TV shows that are so they leave it hanging.

And I'm, I have a bit of a problem with that.

Like, what was that show I really enjoyed on Netflix with Jeff Goldblum and they were all like the greek gods and stuff um and it it's season two got cancelled or whatever i don't know you know um what was that called it was it was great um and you know it's it's i it it leaves such a sour taste in your mouth when you know when stuff gets cancelled yeah there's going to be no more of it i mean firefly let's talk about firefly that was a great show but i almost feel like the writers and the show people are almost like holding the producers hostage by saying well we're gonna we're gonna hop we're gonna we're gonna make a deliberately bad end to this to to force you to do a season two.

Do you know what I mean?

And so there's this kind of thing.

I think the way that they write stuff is they always leave it open in case it gets renewed or whatever.

What do you say?

When do you think this began?

I reckon Lost played a big part in the minds of these guys because Lost never felt like it was ever going to wrap up.

Twin Peaks was the first big serial, like multi-episode drama format.

I think Twin Peaks was the first one.

I think you're absolutely right about Lost.

And Lost being the writers had no idea.

They didn't know when the next student was going.

Yeah.

But so if you do that, you can just keep making it indefinitely until the studio goes, you know what?

We've probably run its course.

Just wrap it up.

Or they all get such big offers, they're like, we want to end it.

They're like, okay, cool.

Just finish it off.

If you just leave it open-ended and there's no clear story, like the problem with Game of Thrones, of course, is that you know it has to come to an end because you know

I'm sick of writing on it as well though well he hasn't even finished the fucking well

here's the thing he's in the same position as the people who wrote lost he set all of this stuff up yeah without a without a plan for it having a bow a clean bow to tie together and part of that is george irramartin's idea that history is not necessarily tied up with a neat bow and sometimes you get the bad guys winning okay now when that comes to a big hollywood production you can't have that be the end you could people would love that.

If Cersei Lannister had fucking won and that was the end, that would have been fucking hype.

Instead of brand the broken, just let's make him king.

Where's he been for five seasons, by the way?

In a forest, lying on his back like a lazy cun.

That's what the fucking end of Game of Thrones was.

Maybe you're right.

Maybe they should have ended with like the fascists beginning and killing all the kids and, you know, just everyone

fucking brutally murdered.

Like, you know, maybe that is the way to do it.

And it's like, oh, there you go.

There you go, audience.

How do you like that?

All your favorite people are dead.

And it ends really miserably.

That's how the show was to that point.

Well, you're right.

Like, it was supposed to be, but, but I don't know.

Like, it's like a meat grind.

It was a formula.

Everybody died, like all the time.

So, so I think that George Oramartin didn't have a plan for what had happened.

And when they confronted him about it, he was like, well, you know, I've got a loose idea of what's meant to happen.

So this all ties up nicely.

Because at the end of the day, Game of Thrones wasn't about just the bad guys winning.

It was about the bad guys getting their comeuppance, right?

It was about Joffrey Joffrey getting punished for what he'd done and the cathartic relief of that finally happening after him being terrible for so long, you know, such a great bad guy, but you want to see them fall.

You can't just have the great bad guy and they get away with it and win at the end, you know, just do all these crimes.

You can't have this message where, you know, the

Nazi rapist wins at the end.

Yeah.

And be like, man, we fucked up.

That would be a hype.

And then they do

the after years where like he has to like poop in a suitcase in case people find out about his health and stuff like that they could do a whole like follow-on season

you not heard about this oh well well well yeah you're right they have conversations about about organ transplants to extend their lives so that they can just keep going and stuff you know i do remember that how do you uh how do you get a random wikipedia page to pop up i don't know there used to be a random button didn't they yeah did they get rid of that no it's still there random article oh random article there we go

What have you got?

What's popped up?

Shuran, an acronym for short-range navigation, a type of electronic navigation and bombing system

using a precision radar beacon developed during World War II.

Okay.

That looks very German.

Very interesting.

Carl Schapper, a German sociologist.

Alt-X.

Alt-X.

Okay.

Sounds like a 90s band.

Bush X.

Remember Bush X.

Ade Kagagua is a Hordino Sorne Sunday.

Was Bush X anything to do with Bush?

Like, what's.

I don't know.

What's Bush X?

A band from the 90s, I'm sure.

Or unless I'm remembering wrong.

Bush X.

There was a band called Bush, I think.

There was a band called Bush.

And a Bush X band as well.

Oh, why did they drop the X?

Oh, okay.

So it started

Gavin Rossdale.

They were called Bush X, and then they just became Bush.

Gavin Rossdale was famously married to Gwen Stefani and then had an affair with the nanny, if you remember.

so due to an intellectual property dispute with another British rock band under the same name Bush was forced to release their albums in Canada under the name Bush X so that's why you know

interesting that's the oh because I've never heard of them what do you think Certodactylus cryptus is uh a dinosaur nope uh it's by typos

no close to dinosaur close but it's not a dinosaur

thing it is a gecko fan of Vietnam and Laos oh this is like a little Wikipedia quiz.

It is.

Hit me.

I was going to hit you with another one.

Sassafras, Kentucky, is an unincorporated community in Knott County, Kentucky, United States of America.

It's located on the Kentucky Route 15, nine miles south southwest of Hindman.

It's a post office with a zip code of 4175.

Is that what they make sarsarilla out of?

Sassafras.

Wow, sassafras.

It's a good

sounding insult.

It's great, isn't it?

No, sassafras.

I don't believe a word of that.

It does sound like you're an old sort of American prospector.

Yeah, with no teeth, you know.

Sassafras.

Oh, sassafras.

There ain't no gold in them hills.

I think Will Farrell did a character like that on SNL where he was old-timey prospector who was for some reason sent to go along with a special forces unit.

And they're like describing how they need to approach very quietly.

And he stands up and all his pots and pans are rattling.

That's a really look that up.

It's a really funny screen.

I love that.

When someone says something he disagrees with, he goes, Oh, peaches.

That's what I like.

That sounds great.

Yeah, I think he'd love that.

That is all right.

Here's another random Portoba Fest, a fundraising event organized by the Humane Society of the Pikes Peak Region.

It's a 5K run walk

followed by an outdoor festival in Colorado Springs, Colorado, in Bear Creek Regional Park.

Wow.

So if you're in the area around that time, make sure to pop on down and enjoy

Bratwurst and maybe pretzel and have a run.

Wait, in Colorado Springs?

Yeah, well, I think there's like a big, there's parts of America that have like these big German communities that celebrate Oktoberfest and stuff, isn't there?

I'm sure.

I mean, I guess.

I didn't know that.

I didn't know Colorado was one of them.

I don't think so.

I think there's all these little community weird events that spring up and become traditions.

And then, you know,

some local person runs them or coordinates them, or they can't stop.

You know what?

Nicola Tesla ran in Colorado Springs.

He had an experimental station called the Tesla Experimental Station operated on Knob Hill, Lamal.

Nice.

Let's do Lose News.

It's definitely time for Lose News.

I got nothing to say.

He's got no news.

The Lew's News reservoir is empty of news.

Well, it's been drained.

I didn't think we were recording, so I didn't ask Sam to prepare anything.

I see.

Well, I'll just keep doing random wikis.

Here is an album called Not Enough Hours in the Night, which is a song written by Aaron Barker, Kim Williams, and Ron Harbin, recorded by American country music artist Doug Supernarl.

Doug Supernall with his hit, Not Enough Hours in the Night.

Take it away, Doug.

Thank you.

I will.

There ain't enough hours in the night.

I don't think there ain't enough hours in anything.

I don't think there are any country music like that anymore, Flex.

I don't know.

I think those days are.

I gotta get up to P four times a night.

I think it's like it's gone all sassy now, country music.

You know, it's like Mrs.

F listens to modern country.

Does she?

Is it all?

I imagine it's all like

women's country music is all like Shania Twain, like dance.

No, no, she listens to this.

Why did I wear makeup for this?

And then male country music is like, ah, shit,

my farming equipment costs too much, and I'm not popular with the ladies.

That's what I'm saying.

No, it's mainly about heartbreak.

Right.

And it's mainly like, I should never have gone down to that bar tonight in my big old truck with my shit.

See, again, this sounds like old country music, though.

Like, the new stuff I think is like sassier and stuff, you know, like just, I'm telling you, listen to it because sometimes when Mrs.

F is working, I will hear her her listing.

Honestly, you are 100% right.

It is about trucks and hardships.

Truck is the number one.

If you did a word cloud for modern country, it would say truck about the biggest.

Okay.

Yeah, and they don't rhyme it with fucking modern country.

They still talk about trucks.

Down on my luck.

Guess what broke, comma, my truck, again,

just like my heart breaks.

Okay, here, listen to this.

I got an interesting little quote here for you uh it's an it's from an ai overview on google okay because i typed in

does modern country music still talk about trucks a lot okay and this is the response modern country music still mentions trucks but the frequency has declined

from the peak of the bro country era with some analysis showing significantly fewer truck references in recent years.

While trucks were a staple theme of the mid-2010s, other lyrical themes themes like love and heartache are also prevalent, and the genre itself is becoming more diverse, moving beyond the stereotype of just beer trucks and girls.

Damn, well, maybe she's listening to post-like pre-modern, slightly more bro country.

I always tell her it's because she wants a real man to talk to her, not someone talking about football manager and Dota, some guy talking about his truck and his giant penis.

Bingo, that's what she wants.

Aren't those just

those are just kind of very similar to Dota and

miniatures or whatever.

If the other thing you mentioned was,

well, I just had an amazing coincidence.

I landed on a random wiki page about Jürgen Dick,

a former Swiss curler, and I kept going.

And then I hit William Pohl, which is also a kind of a penis-sounding name.

Wow, maybe it's on purpose.

What's next?

Wasn't there

a curling movie in the same sort of

spirit of kingpin about curling?

it called like uh oh no you know what i'm getting confused with actually i'm guessing this was a canadian movie there was a film called curling

i'm sure that there's one i'm sure that there's one like where the like the curlers go to like a bar and everybody's like loves the curlers and stuff but actually the one i was getting confused with was that the figure skating one that had the guy from napoleon dynamite in it um

blades of fury blades of glory blades of glory

yeah so there is a film called curling it is of course a canadian drama film directed by Denis Cott and released in 2010.

The film stars Emmanuel Billod, Philomene Billodoux, Jean-François Julivant Sauvée, and Jean-Guy Topawaire.

I knew it was coming.

I knew it was coming.

Wow, he's in everything.

It does sound like a Will Ferrell vehicle, which is in it.

Do you okay?

Both of you guys give me a topic and I'll get some quiz questions.

I'll Google them up.

Really?

Yeah, go on.

Let's do a little

quiz to end the podcast.

Favorite foods in a nursing home.

Foods in a nursing home.

Yeah.

And what else, PFLEX?

Favorite prison dinners.

I'll give you a topic.

Yeah, I'm just going to Google prison trivia questions.

Just do that.

Fun things to do on a train.

Prison trivia.

Okay, prison trivia.

Sounds great.

Prison trivia.

Okay, well,

oh, this one, okay.

This is going to be a tough thing to find.

All right, sure.

So which

in these are too easy.

In which US state is Sing Sing located?

Sing Sing is in

New York.

It's New York.

Oh, is it?

Oh, I thought that was a nickname.

It is.

It is New York.

Oh, it's an island.

You know, they still have prisoners in Sing Sing.

Yeah, I still have it.

It's an active federal prison, yeah.

What is the name for a prisoner who is serving a life sentence without the possibility of parole?

A lifer?

Yeah, life.

This is like a crossword puzzle clue, isn't it?

This is like New York Times Monday when it's easy.

Okay.

Hmm.

What?

What is that?

What is a shank?

I think you can.

I think

which US TV series starting in 2005 followed two brothers, Prison Breaker.

Prison Break.

That's one of them guys.

I haven't even seen it.

I haven't even watched it.

Not even seen it.

You know what?

The problem is that

escape away in like the first season.

In fact, I think episode one, they break away.

So it's really just on the run, not prison break.

If it had been a show where they spent season after season attempting to escape from a prison and gradually building towards some epic mission and possible style escape, I would have watched that was cell block.

Like a whole episode where they're just trying to smuggle a screwdriver.

What about Oz?

Oz was set in a prison as well.

And one of the seasons of Lost was set in a prison.

Not Lost.

The Walking Dead, is what I meant to say.

Was set in a prison.

The Shawshank Redemption, very famous prison movie.

Escape from Alcatraz.

I like to say that Andy fought a good fight and won.

Which U.S.

prison is known for its license plate factory, where inmates famously make vehicle plates, but also

was brought to fame by Johnny Cash.

Oh, Folsom.

Oh, Folsom.

No, it's a San Quentin.

I hate every inch of you.

It's Folsom Bruce

in California.

Which prison, stormed in 1789, symbolized the start of a major historical revolution?

The Bastille.

The Bastille.

Correct.

This is great.

I'm enjoying this.

Prison stuff.

Prison drama.

Which notorious Soviet-era forced labor camp inspired the term the gulag?

I don't know the name of it.

It's a very difficult answer.

Glavno.

Oh.

Yeah, I was going to say Glavno.

Glavno.

Ravno.

Ravno.

Lagari.

Lagarian.

Lagarian.

a ragnatural

glavno ravner

that's a hard one that's a hard one uh what does the abbreviation the shoe stand for the shoe the shoe is solitary

solitary solitary housing only eggs you go in there you only get eggs i think it's the special housing unit it's shu actually isn't it it's like yeah special special housing unit so it shouldn't be the shoe the shoe the second to the shoe yeah

uh that's where all the dirty protesters go.

Welcome to the shoe.

Which favours prison was escaped from in 1962 by brothers Frank and Clarence Angin and another in

Never found.

Alcatraz.

Alcatraz.

I think that was the only escape from Alcatraz.

But did they?

I mean, they technically got out, but did they make it out?

Do you reckon there was a conspiracy and they were like, No, no, no, no, no, no, it's just that they, they, like the famous movie, the Clinton Eastwood movie, one of his best movies, actually, Escape from Archils.

I love it.

Yeah, um, it was just they get out, they did get out.

Three of them got out, and they had rafts that they made from raincoats that they sort of covered with this.

They put paper mache versions of themselves in the paper.

With their faces in there, which is referenced in Prison Architect when someone digs a tunnel and escapes, there's a little mastery.

They were digging the tunnels behind the posters in their rooms.

Remember, they had the pin-ups?

So they got out.

No, no, they they were they they used the grate the vent that's right and they made fake vents that slotted in there that were just painted to look like real vents but yeah so that they did get out but the problem is that the the san francisco bay is incredibly hard to swim it's incredibly cold it has very strong currents and it's a long way to the it's like a mile um because we so we went when we went to san francisco a few years ago we took the boat over to the the uh the rock um did you see you cannot imagine Sean Connery while you were there?

You're not taking me back to the rock.

Their gift shop is very overpriced.

Do you know what the name is?

Where is the Devil's Island penal colony?

French guy.

Yeah, very good.

Can you name the book or the memoir that it's from?

It's Papillon.

That means butterfly.

it does and how did they escape do you remember dustin dustin hoffman uh dug a hole behind a poster of a peanut a ball damage

a hundred percent um no i i believe that they didn't they bribe local crocodile hunters to help them escape via boat something no i i i think they stitched together bags of coconuts um and then they jumped off a cliff or something with plates of coconuts to survive the fall and something

The memoir du Papillon,

a lot of it is bullshit.

And they're like,

this Henri Degas, this forger, didn't exist and his storyline doesn't match up with everything.

Like, I think he's just a bit of a rogue, but it's a wonderful story.

Really wonderful story.

I love that.

I love the movie.

I love the book.

So big fan.

Nice.

Which Russian prison is FKUIK-6 is

one of the worst, it's holds some of the worst and most dangerous criminals in Russia.

It's like one of the oldest prisons in Russia.

Do you know what it's called?

No.

It's famously like

cronky spodny ports.

It's called Black Dolphin Prison.

Oh, have you heard of that?

No, never.

I feel like it's one of these places that would be referenced famously in like

Marvel movies or something like that.

Metal Gear Solid.

Escape from Black Dolphin Prison.

Doesn't look so bad.

I'm sure it's lovely.

Which notorious South American prison was so violent and ungovernable that inmates ran it themselves

until 2002 when I think it was closed.

God knows.

It was called the Karandiru Penitentiary.

Oh my god.

Wow.

Yeah, it was quite a mess.

And I think there are a few countries in the world, a few continents in the world where I'm like, oh, I really wouldn't want to go to prison there.

No.

South America is one of them.

It's high on my list.

I wouldn't want to go to prison in Thailand either.

Or China, for that matter.

Yeah.

anywhere, to be honest.

If I ended up in prison in Scandinavia, it doesn't look as no, yeah.

Norwegian South America Danish and Norwegian prisons actually seem kind of good.

They, you know, they have like, they have that nice fitted furniture and stuff.

You get like a log cabin with a like a telecudding puppy cuddling time and stuff.

It's like, it looks fine.

Yeah, it sounds great.

Today you spent 12 hours thinking about how you could do something better.

You could maybe not rob people and steal from people.

So this is a 12-hour reflection period and then 12 hours of rest.

12 hours of cuddling puppies and then 12 hours.

And then tomorrow is a cuddling puppies workshop, which you'll have to go to, and then another 12 hours of learning to beg Philo Patience.

Yes.

Sounds great.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm like in a self-imposed Scandinavian prison right now, pretty much.

The prisoner is to be confined to his garage, which plays video games and recorded podcasts.

You gotta weave in a bit of puppy cuddling as well.

Please, I beg you.

You might see

puppies this weekend.

I'm going to see those puppies again this weekend.

Those, those little puppies, little Jack Russell puppies.

So let me get this straight.

You had two kids, then you decided to have a third kid.

And now you're deciding to further complicate your life with puppies.

No, no, we don't own them.

We're just like, we're, we, we're like, uh, we're, we're, we're just, our friends own them, and our teachers rope us into like walking

on the fence, which we're kind of like going along with because it's fun, yeah, yeah.

Walking them is fun, and the kids will love it, yeah.

But I mean, you get a dog yourself, yeah, it's a lot of work.

Oh, yeah, I know, but like we like, we took the kids to see them um before we went away, and they loved it.

They were like because they live out uh like further out, so there's like lots of like country walks and fields and stuff, so they were walking them nice and safe, you know, that didn't have to worry about cars and stuff.

It was, it was good, so I mean, I like puppies in that uh context where it like, I guess, it's a lot like being a like a grandparent, you know, you get

all the fun of kids, but then you don't have to like put them to bed and uh and do the nighttime and morning routines with them and stuff, you know, yeah, that's fine.

Um, all right, well, there you go.

I think that's that's enough, yeah, that's enough podcasts.

Yeah, thanks for well, live long and prosper.

Uh, we talked about Star Trek a lot this uh this episode, and um, see you next time, I guess.

Um, yeah, God, thanks.

Oh, winter.

Sick of you guys.

I'm going to go cuddle a puppy and

learn how to break philo painting.

Whatever it's you said.

12 hours of puppy guys.

Bye.

Bye.

Hi, I'm Dan Maher, host of the Convergence Podcast, where I invite the talented, inventive, and uncompromising minds behind some of your favorite and soon-to-be-favorite indie games to talk about what they do best.

On each episode, I invite two members of the indie community, many of whom will be meeting for the very first time to share their journeys, their formative experiences, their successes and failures, their advice for aspiring indie devs, and no doubt lots of unrelated waffle too.

I mean, this is a podcast after all.

If this sounds like your cup of gin, then subscribe to the Convergence podcast from wherever you choose to ethically source your podcasts.