209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron

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Call 1-8-0-TESLA or visit otesla.com for prescribing info info about cost and more okay you ready let's do it okay we're starting off today with some rock paper scissors oh i'm ready because you're really good and i'm like i thought i was pretty good but you start off and you're like i need to put this on my resume on traders because it was so you were really good and I'm like I thought I was pretty good but you start off and you're like I

need to put this on my resume on traders because it was so you were so good and then I proceeded to lose every match after did you really I thought I saw you win no I played against Danielle twice I think I lost both to her so that's why I didn't get to see Tom sing I was on the other team oh god yeah so i i definitely sing in person too i know i missed my chance so we're kicking it off rock paper scissors okay all right do you do rock paper scissors shoot yes rock papers no rock paper scissors shoot yeah that's right let me just think for a sec you came prepared so um okay okay ready yep rock paper scissors shoot rock paper scissors shoot fuck i'm two for two on podcasts okay there we go have people been doing it with you yeah okay i love it i love it i wanted i wanted it to be like i i need to post this on social but like if you see me on the streets like i'll take a photo and everything but just like stick your hand up like let's let's let's get right into it i think i think what people need to do is like not like hey man can i get a picture no immediately just walk up and start dueling exactly duel me if i if like regardless or maybe you beat me and i just walk away that's that's that's our interaction how iconic would that be i would love that i love that. Hi, guys.
Welcome back to another episode of Two that be? I would love that.

I love that.

Hi, guys.

Welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes.

I'm your host, Morgan.

Today, I'm joined by the amazing Dylan Efron.

I'm going to say some spoilers, but you might recognize Dylan from Traders.

Skip 15 seconds.

Winner of Traders.

I mean, your season, this is the first and only trader season i've watched i love it it's fun i love it you started on a good season i also i need you to go on like 10 more shows though like when are you submitting your survivor application yeah they still do it that way huh you gotta like submit your audition tape yeah your little casting tape send them my instagram i'll be like hey like just look i like adventure yeah jesse jesse tannenbaum if you're out there right here i feel like you do so good you you just had such a good game on traders where you were yourself but you also had like you just had such an eye on like people and you were so intuitive and it was a really fun season to watch i appreciate it yeah no i've definitely played poker as a kid and i watched a lot of these shows so i i have a big competitive streak in me it was fun to kind of be myself and and just be friendly with everybody but also be like thinking like a lot of people didn't know who i was and they were like this guy like why is he here and they didn't know I might be thinking a lot I know well I didn't realize like were you a big game super fan before this because you actually did watch Carolyn's season of Survivor yeah so I watched Survivor as a kid and then I went to college and didn't have cable so I didn't watch for a while but then I went back and watched a bunch of ones I missed but one of the more recent ones that I've watched was Carolyn's season I just went back and watched it it's actually so good it was I love her and yeah no it was a great season so they have like that new era versus the old era so I was very much like a viewer of the old era and now I've started to re-watch some of the new era stuff and it's a lot different than it used to be but Carolyn's season is very much like the summary of the new era okay did you watch Boston Rob's season as well we were so I was just with him in Florida a lot yesterday and I we were like talking about it I've only seen I think one of his seasons of Survivor okay I didn't see the one he married Amber because that was when i was really young yeah i watched the the original villains versus heroes that he lost and then i watched the one where he was like had a statue of him on the island as well okay i didn't see i think i saw i think i might have seen the second his second one because i don't know if i saw him and amber either but i did watch him on amazing race oh you with amber with amber yeah unreal I need to watch that too I think that could be another one you apply for if survivor is not your thing because I know you know eating only rice and coconut pulp like no that's easy to me like okay it's survivor it's like yeah it's it's not alone alone would be tough for me like I'm I know enough that surviving three months in Alaska would kill me. But Survivor, you're in Fiji.
Have you been to Fiji? No. I went to an island that was just like Survivor in Fiji.
And I was like, oh, like I could do this. There's no, there's like not a lot of bugs.
Okay. Fiji is paradise.
So it really, I would enjoy every minute. I truly think I would.
Okay. Well, I was going to say you could do amazing race.
Yeah. Get Rob back.
I need to, I need to dig into that more too. Cause that's right up my alley.
It's so good. And the way, like, I think survivor was so big at the time that him and Amber did it, everyone recognized them.
So they got so much help to like get bumped ahead and like everywhere from like india to that's cool it was really it was a cool season to watch yeah amazing race would be fun because you'd see a different side of me like i'm very much down for the challenges and that stuff's super fun but i'm also pretty aloof so like directionally i thought i was good at directions it's because i grew up in a hometown with a beach and on one side. So it was like, I could always know where I was.
You put me in the middle of a city and I'm, I'm the guy that just turns left. No matter what I turn left and I end up lost.
So like I would get into trouble on that show and it would be really funny to watch. I just wouldn't be able to do the eating challenges.
Oh, that's easy. Yeah.
Did you, okay. I think it was on Rob's season rob's season maybe a different one but they had to eat have you seen those ginormous like martini glasses oh wow they had to eat a whole thing of beluga caviar oh god so much salt it was it was disgusting what's beluga i don't know that's whale it was fancy it was fancy I don't know.
I'm not a caviar gal, but that's what they said it was. And people were throwing up.
Yeah, that's a lot. It was too much.
So you might have to train. You might have to train.
Yeah, food makes me gag too. Like if it's a really slimy consistency, I'm going to gag.
So it would make good TV. I'm not afraid of it, but it does gross gross me out it's good that traders didn't have any eating stuff yeah no i would have they should have that's oh season four they need to add imagine carolyn eating like a slug or something that orange is amazing yeah that is so fun no they have bugs i was surprised they even did the bugs yeah the bugs that was chill.
The bugs was insane. No, like Sierra had them going down her back.
Like it was, the bugs would, I would have tapped out. I wouldn't have been able to do it.
You would have done it. I don't, I don't think so.
When you're there, it's like, I don't know. Like even the helicopter, it's like, even if you don't want to do it, you're going to do it.
Like, you know that this is a production. You know you're on TV.
You know that like if you say no, it's like you're quitting and no one wants to quit. So you're going to do it.
The helicopter, I would have no issue with. It's just the bugs.
Yeah, just the bugs and the eating. I'm a texture person.
I'm like, I can only eat bananas like one day out of their lifespan yeah if they're too hard that perfect yeah the speckled brown banana is like my favorite food and every other side is the grossest disgusting you can't do it if some people eat them green i know it's i that's the grossest texture it's jail straight to jail you're probably the same way it's like your favorite foods have a lot of texture like i love a good crunch like oh yeah yeah like good texture is the best food in the world but bad texture makes me get nope we're in the same boat so coming off of traders do you feel like traders might have made you a little paranoid no and i can honestly say no yeah okay i give you so much credit because i was and i think a lot of us out there if you watched i was really nervous when carolyn gave you her emotional spiel and you still you didn't get sucked in but then dan yells was like i was sitting there and i was like that is the most manipulative thing i think I've ever seen on TV. And you still, you stuck to your guns.
But if that were me, I would come out of the show so paranoid. Like, who's lying to me? Yeah, so I knew at that point that Danielle was a traitor.
Like, remember the roundtable before was the one where she was on the ground and hysterics. Like, I knew then that she was a traitor.
So, like, once I was tapped in and I could tell she was acting like by this point me and Danielle are truly friends like we're friends even though she's been lying to me so now I know like I know or tell if that makes sense I know she's lying so I'm like I'm not gonna go console her when she's crying on the ground because I know it's an act okay But when she's doing that emotional, like Dylan, please, like I trust you type thing, like it hurt, like it does hurt, but it's not going to change my mind. I know it's a game and I know she's a traitor and I know I'm voting for her.
You did such a good job. I was like, please, please like get her out of there.
And you did such a good job. I would have crumbled, but I think because of your experience, I think you'll do a great job today with the theme I have for you.
I'm ready. So we're going with paranoid or perfectly executed.
Okay. So these are people writing in and they're like, I think a lot of times with Reddit, people will write in like, am I the asshole for this? And they're just kind of paranoid about it, even though they're not the asshole or they're paranoid about it.
And it's justified because they are the asshole. So we're going to get into these ones and see if you think what you think about it.
I like this. And one quick question.
Yeah. Is your username public on Reddit? Yeah.
Wow, that's scary. Yeah, it's THT Morgan.
I don't really, I've posted like about car issues. Like I, my old car was like making a clunky noise and I like recorded it and put it on Reddit.
Or I was trying to find my fiance like an ancient coin. And so I went on the coin subs to like talk to the coin people.
I'm a big Reddit user since I was in college. So over 10 years of Reddit sleuthing, I've never liked.

I've never commented.

You've never even upvoted?

Nope.

You're like, no trace.

I want no trace.

No trace.

But I love Reddit.

Let's get into these stories. Thank you.
Okay, starting off, this one is three hours old coming from Am I the Asshole? It is titled, Am I the Asshole for humiliating my sister's fiancé at a family gathering after what he did to her? My sister, 28 female, has been with her fiancé, 32 male, for three years. She's always been the more reserved, quiet type, while he's loud, extroverted, and sometimes a little over the top.
We tolerated him, but recently he crossed a serious line. A few weeks ago, my sister came to me in tears because her fiance had pranked her in front of his friends by pretending to propose in an elaborate setup only to laugh in her face and say, quote, just kidding, babe.
You really thought I was serious? His friends all laughed while she stood there humiliated. That's's messed up i love that you're just like in the zone yeah i'm a big audio guy like it's like a bedtime story i have to visualize okay 32 male yep prank okay that's how i play jeffrey too i can't look at the screen um she didn't well we got more oh wow okay we got more close our eyes she didn't break up with him which i think she should have but she was heartbroken he later gave her some half-hearted excuse about how he actually had a proposal planned soon and this was just a joke gone wrong fast forward to this past weekend at our parents' house.
We were having a big family

dinner and he was there, acting like nothing happened. While chatting, someone asked when

they were getting married. And before my sister could answer, he smirked and said, quote, guess

she'll just have to wait and see, huh? That was it for me. I smiled sweetly and said, quote, oh,

is this like how she had to wait for that hilarious fake proposal in front of all your friends? That was so funny, right? Let's all have a good laugh about it now. The table went dead silent.
My sister looked mortified, but my parents looked pissed at him. He stammered something about it being a joke, but my dad straight up told him, that's not a joke, that's cruelty.
He left shortly after, and now my sister is mad at me for embarrassing him and making things worse. I told her he embarrassed her first and deserved to be called out.
My parents are backing me, but my sister says I ruined things for her. Am I the asshole? Oh, no.
She's a good friend. She's a good sister.
Good sister. That's what I'm thinking.
I feel like he really took this too far for it to be just a prank. You said in the beginning their ages.
How old are they? She's 28 and he's 32. Wow.
Yeah, because like that joke coming from him feels like a 22-year-old. So immature.
Yeah. So a 32-year-old that's doing that prank, yeah, it's a pretty big flag.
It's huge. Like how old are you? 33.
Okay. And like, look, I understand like maybe he really didn't mean anything by it because I am that kind of guy that loves getting people's emotions.
Like my sense of humor is like I love to get emotions out of people. So I'm always doing little pranks to try to get emotions.
Are you really? Okay. What's like one of your – I'm a hater on pranks.
So you're going to really have to convince me of like what's a good one you've done. like my my favorite one that i do to my girlfriend all the time is like i just lean into whatever it is like let's say she's in the other room and she says something like 10 times and i said like what like a few times but then she's like after like the sixth time i'll just lean into it and be like like what and like like like i didn't hear her again and then she screams it and I'm like I just laugh

so it's like stuff like that like I love like but if if I see people growing frustrated I lean into them getting more frustrated oh my gosh so I I like little pranks like that but when it's when it's like that's serious a proposal that's that's that's messing with your relationship so it feels like the the's not standing up for herself, the girl in the relationship. And I'm happy your sister spoke up for her.
Yeah. Honestly, it's kind of crazy they didn't break up after that because of how elaborate it is, right? Like if it was, I don't know.
I feel like, I feel like a proposal isn't something you should ever prank.

Kind of like a divorce too.

Yeah.

Like I've had a Reddit story where this guy or this woman was like, oh, I told my husband I wanted a divorce because all my friends were doing it with their partners. And they just, they got more attention.
They got showered with gifts. And so she did a divorce prank.
And it's like, I feel like this is kind of in the same boat of, one of those things you probably shouldn't prank people on. And just not at this age.
Like we're 32 and 28. Like this is the age you get married.
This is like, you know, she's having thoughts about that and like wants it to dangle that fruit. And as a joke to humiliate her, like the person playing the joke, I like getting emotions out of people.

I like building their frustration stuff. I don't want to humiliate the person that I'm playing a joke on.
That's a mean sense of humor. So, yeah, I'm not a fan.
I think the answer to the question is she's not an asshole. No.
And there's some red flags. But I also feel like her her sister the girl that this happened to is ignoring some major red flags in this relationship huge she's taking his side not taking her sister's yeah it doesn't sound good no and even like you have your sister sticking up for you and now you're like hey thanks but let's tone it down going forward instead you're like well you made it worse you made it worse like you don't you you shouldn't be begging this guy to want to marry you exactly you shouldn't be like putting yourself down for the sake that he wakes up and gives you a ring yeah the fact that she's feeling insecurity by how her sister acted and that it's going to affect the relationship when really he's the one that did something bad.

Yeah.

Something's not right in that relationship right now.

Something's not right.

Top comment on this one.

She should not marry this asshole, even if he asks.

He is cruel and a very small man to do that to her.

Your sister needs to know she can do so much better.

And yeah, a little round of applause for Engineering okay 1885 um op does respond to that and says facts dude is a walking red flag if this is how he treats her before marriage imagine how bad it'll be later she deserves way better than a guy who thinks humiliating her is comedy you know what this reminds This reminds me of another Reddit story, which you might know. Okay.
Do you remember the one where it was a girl was pregnant and then the husband held like a knife up to her pregnant belly? I lost my mind at that one. I think it actually was, um, he was a police officer and he held a gun to her stomach.
You're right. That's what it was.
I was so nervous about that one. I actually read it on our Patreon because I was like.
Yeah, it's too much. It was insane.
That was like similar red flag. She's like, can I ignore this? And it's like, no, you can't.
That's, that's, yeah. No.
That was, that's. It's insane.
There's no ignoring this. ignoring this no god you're so right and it's like okay gun proposal maybe a little apples to oranges but like truly like it's giving just like odd screw loose something's not right here energy yeah it just shows he's he's playing around he's not as as serious as she is in this relationship.
Yeah. He's joking about that stuff.
Especially in front of his friends, his boys, and everyone's laughing and she's sitting there like, probably crying. Yeah.
Because I'd be bawling my eyes out. Oh, yeah.
I'd be distraught. I'd feel for her.
I'd be distraught. There's a couple other comments from OP.
Yeah, dude is pushing 33, not 13. He knows what he's doing.
And last one I'll read. Yeah, that's the frustrating part.
She's still choosing to stay and there's only so much I can do. At the end of the day, it's her life, but I'm not going to sit around and play nice with a dude who treats her like a joke.
Just hoping she sees the red flag before it's too late.

That's good advice. This is why I love Reddit.
I know. Great people on there.

Reddit's coming in clutch. Being on Reddit as long as you have, have you heard the coconut story? Give me a little context because I'm sure I have.
I'm so sorry everyone I'm so sorry

This guy lives in Africa

Mozambique

Maybe I'm so sorry, everyone. I'm so sorry.
This guy lives in Africa, Mozambique, maybe. And he has a mom who's on a health kick.
And he's feeling a little sexually frustrated. And so he borrows or takes one of her coconuts because she's got a big supply of them and cuts a hole in the coconut.
No. Oh.
I haven't heard this. I'm just kidding.
I think my audience would actually kill me if I read it again. I've read it four times on the podcast.
Yeah. No.
If you want a good reaction, I'll look that up when I get home. Listen to the episode with Chris Clemens.
Okay. He uses this coconut for quite some time.
No. Mm-hmm.
Oh, God. Yeah.
Oh, I'm going to gag. Yep.
You will gag. You will 100% gag.
He was storing his juice in there. Mm-hmm.
Yeah, he didn't empty it. It didn't wash it out after each use.
And he used butter, I think, as lube. Oh, my God.
Yeah. This can't be true.
See, there's, there's stories like that. And then there's one that actually was verified by the moderators and the moderators actually talked to this person's psychologist.
But this is another story I read where, um, it was coming from the ask me anything subreddit. And the guy was like, I broke both arms and ended ended up having a relationship with my mom ask me anything yeah yeah instantly scarred i broke my toe and and uh and i had a relationship with my mom it's like it's like almost too they're so unrelated it's like wait what and so the the moderator is like verified with this person so So it is a 100% real story.

Wow.

The things we find on Reddit.

That's what makes it good.

Another thing we are finding on Reddit is this next one.

It's coming from AITAH, six days old, titled,

Am I the asshole for sleeping in my car because my wife won't stop playing whale sounds at night? Whale sounds. All right, let's get into it.
Okay, so this is weird, but I need to know if I'm in the wrong here. My wife, 32 female, has recently gotten really into whale sounds.
It started as something she played while working from home and I didn't mind. Then she started listening to them while doing chores, cooking, and even during dinner.
Again, fine. I figured it was just a phase.
But then she started playing them at night. I mean, full blast, speakers on either side of the bed, deep ocean whale calls echoing through our room like we're sleeping at the bottom of the Mariana Trench.
She says it helps her relax and feel, quote, connected to nature. The problem is I can't sleep through it.
I've tried earplugs, but I swear I can still hear them. I wake up to haunting, eerie moaning sounds, and I feel like I'm in some sort of deep sea horror movie.
I asked if she could at least lower the volume or use headphones. She refused, saying the sound needs to fill the room for the full effect.
I even tried playing my own relaxing noises to balance it out, rain sounds, white noise, but she said they, quote, ruined the purity of the ocean experience. After weeks of this, I finally snapped and just started sleeping in my car.
I parked it in our driveway, reclined to the seat, and I actually got my first full night of sleep in weeks. Now she's furious, saying that I'm abandoning our bed over something trivial and making her feel guilty for trying to create a peaceful home environment.
I told her I'd happily come back if we could compromise on the whale sounds. But she says I'm being selfish and refusing to understand her needs.
So am I the asshole for choosing my car over the call of the wild?

I wish I could hear the whale sounds. I'm going to pull up what he put here.
Deep sea ocean whale sounds. Because have you been in the ocean with whales? You hear them from so far away.
Really? Yeah, it is beautiful. like it it's it the most, like when you're underwater, it sounds, they can be miles away and it sounds so loud and it's just the, it's like spiritual how cool it sounds.
So I understand. Are you team whale sounds? No, trust me, I'm not team whale sounds, but I understand the theory on it.
Like it is a cool sound. I honestly, i don't know if i've heard any whale sounds outside

of finding emo i'll be honest i'm like okay whale calls an underwater ambience two hour sleep ambience it's gonna be loud I don't know guys I don't like the bubbles yeah the bubbles I bet you there's some without the bubbles because that's someone on a scuba tank and you hear their breathing I think I'm gonna be honest it's not as bad as I was expecting it's also not as good as I was thinking like I've like like when I, when I've heard them, it's not such, maybe that's the difference of deep sea whales. Like when you're in the water and I'm normally on the surface in the Bahamas and I can hear like dolphins or, or whales and it is really cool, but it doesn't sound so deep and ominous.
Like that actually is like nightmare fueling. Like, what did he say here? And now it makes sense.
sense um i feel like i'm in some kind of deep sea horror movie yeah i that that sounded like it that that wouldn't relax me i'd just be like in the bubbles the bubbles are really annoying yeah i'm i'm sure look she's she's doing this every night i'm sure she's found some good Hopefully. But I have a few questions.
Why did he go straight to the car? Is there not a couch in the house? Not a couch. Probably can still hear him though.
If he's blasting them on two speakers, surround sound in their bedroom. Why does it need to be so loud? I think she needs to take a trip to the local aquarium and just get it out of her system.
But honestly, it sounds like she's almost like Pavlov'd herself a little bit here because she's listening to them when she works from home, when she cleans. So it's like now she needs whale sounds 24-7.
Yeah, she's going to turn into a whale. She's ready.
She's ready to transform. you seen this is such an old time is it walrus oh no where were you gonna go uh the one where the the what's his name well there's an i think it's called walrus but a guy gets turned into a walrus okay similar premise it is the oldest movie i think i've watched and it's with this guy he was in the Andy Griffith show is it transformation where you get turned into a cockroach it's like Mr.
Lippet or Mr. something oh yeah yeah Mr.
Lippet we made it into a movie I think when I was working on Warner Brothers the something case of Mr. Lippet the incredible Mr.
Lippet yeah he turns into a fish yeah that's what this lady wants to do she wants to just turn into a little whale oh man look up the walrus one real quick that it was the actor from like he always played like a geeky guy he's in like freak freaking freaks and geeks is it called tusk tusk yeah who's that actor is it a wait is it a horror movie yeah oh my god it looks terrifying it's a kevin smith justin long justin long yeah justin long turns into a walrus okay the movie poster for it is actually it's such a weird movie he's terrifying he gets sucked into this weird guy and like the guy starts like off like putting him putting stuff in his drinks and he'll wake up and all of a sudden he's got like a tooth missing. And then like you'll have a tooth implant and pretty soon he turns into a full blown walrus because this guy's doing like doing a science experiment on him.
No. No thanks.
So weird. Pass.
Hard pass. Wow.
We went on a tangent. So.
Back to this one to this one am i the asshole for sleeping in the car no it's actually really mature of him to do i mean he's not threatening divorce yeah he's not giving her an ultimatum he's like hey i'm just gonna go sleep in the car yeah like this guy's got some patience i don't have i think day one if someone was doing that to me i would have been like get the fuck out of here like what are you doing yeah i would have i would have freaked out before i ever let it get that far so the fact that this guy is willing to go sleep in a car which i don't know if you've ever done but it hurts your back it's not comfortable the fact he's willing to do that to be in this relationship, you got a winner in that guy. I know.
Very, very emotionally mature. Top comment has since been deleted by the user, but on the thread, I listen to white noise sometimes to sleep.
I use earbuds. Others aren't quite so considerate.
My ex used to be uncomfortable and raise her arm and drop it on the bed repeatedly. Just for that person listening to white noise.
Until the white noise stopped or something? Apparently. Like that passive aggressive like, ugh.
It's like when someone snores and you kick them. Which like this is becoming really popular.
People are starting to sleep in separate bedrooms. Yeah.
Like a lot of couples do because of snoring or like sleep apnea and CPAP machines. Yeah.
I don't have a stance on it. Like whatever you got to do to keep a relationship happy.
Yeah. So I feel like no, not the asshole.
Maybe just separate rooms. She gets her whale.
Maybe maybe they have to soundproof it though. Yeah yeah they need to sign up for therapy asap because it's not healthy to be listening to whale sounds on full blast so they got some that's like six therapy sessions at the minimum get a group on 10 10 pack but they got some stuff to work through group on 10 pack um there's only one comment from op and it's someone it's in response to someone saying like oh this story is fake and op goes i wish it was man so yeah no he's not the asshole i don't know i i think because like listening to white noise when you're falling asleep that's totally normal

very

I listen to audio books

like

my girlfriend listens to podcasts

that's how I've heard of this show

so

I like

I think listening to white noise

and you can always play it

like quietly

so like

she can have her whale noises

quiet

and it probably wouldn't annoy him

you could put in earplugs

put in some airbots

airpods full blast full blast whale noise is crazy. That is unhinged behavior.
Unhinged. Okay.
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Visit PrizePix.com for restrictions and details. This is coming from Am I the Asshole, 27 days old.

Titled, Am I the Asshole for making my boyfriend's mom cry because of a petty rule?

So me, 20 female, and my boyfriend, 24 male, have been together for almost two years, and we live together.

His mother is very involved in his life. Some might say overbearing, but I try to be respectful.
She's nice, but has this way of pushing boundaries while acting like she still means well. So the issue.
I have a no shoes in the house rule. My boyfriend is cool with it.
All of my friends do it, no problem. But his mom refuses.
She claims it's rude to ask guests to take their shoes off and that it makes her feel disrespected. I've tried explaining that it's just a cleanliness thing, but she won't budge.
Last weekend, she came over and, surprise, surprise, walked in with her shoes on. I very politely, I swear, said, oh, can you take them off, please? She kind of huffs and is like, you are really going to ask me to do this? And I just stood there waiting.
She sighed dramatically, took them off, and then spent the whole visit sulking. Then, later, I get a text from my boyfriend's dad saying I made her cry, and she feels like I'm trying to assert dominance over her in her son's home.
Our home, actually. My boyfriend is on my side, but now his parents are acting like I've disrespected the Queen of England.
Am I the asshole for standing my ground on a very normal rule? Wow. Nothing like a good mother-in-law drama.
Over shoes in a house. That's going to be fun.
A fun relationship. I feel like that's kind of a, it's a hard dynamic.
At least it was for me to like get over that. Like I'm 18.
I have a boyfriend. I can't really, you know, talk back or like assert myself with their parents.
But now it's like, okay, I'm 31. I should be able to like tell my mother-in-law how I feel.
And it's kind of hard getting over that. But like, she's also not telling her something unrealistic or unreasonable.
It's like, hey, can you just take your shoes off when you come in my house yeah this is the first one that i'm like i'm actually borderline on the it's not as clear cut for me really because are you a shoes in the house person no i like so i the my issue is that we're hearing from her right okay so in my opinion like she's probably like i swear it was respectfully that i said it like there's probably an underlying riff going on between these two that the mom feels like she's getting pushed out she's trying to get him away from the mom so there's something probably more behind the scenes that this is like an opportunity for them both to double down if that makes sense it's like it's the hill that they're both dying on yes it's like they they have issues they don't like each other this girl's watching her son with a girl that she doesn't like and now she the the girl's being protective of her new boyfriend being like god your mom's such an asshole like and so when it's like like i can just so envision it like the mom's like walking in she's already uncomfortable and like like knows that she's in this person's house and stuff like that and then the first thing she's like can you take your shoes off and it's like kind of a slap in the face to her that's like okay like she singled me out already so I just don't know like I want to hear the mom right and see her version of the story on this one i love when we get two sides to the story we do do that sometimes i don't know though i'm like i get like this is definitely their power like struggle coming to light that's what you just nailed it which is so funny because like the mom is like you're just trying to assert your dominance over me but aren't you doing the same thing by wearing shoes in the house like do you know how much stuff is on the bottom of your shoes yeah i do i do i have that rule in my house too but what i would say is like if i have a guest that comes and they and they don't take off their shoes not the end of the world to me you're just gonna swiffer after yeah it's like what's the big deal like they tracked in some dirt. I don't have carpet, but, like, if I had, like,

white carpet, maybe. Okay, yeah.

It's hardwood, and if they walk around in shoes,

it's like, I don't care.

You're a guest in my house. Do what you want.

So that's where it's like,

that's me, and when I have people over,

I'm like, oh, they're taking the time to come

into my life and, like, spend time with me.

Do what you want. Okay.

If you ask to take off your shoes, they'll say, yeah, we normally do, matter okay where i feel like this girl might be like hi will you take off your shoes yeah well and no mention of like culture was in this story but like i know like certain cultures like you take off your shoes no ifs ands or buts do not pass go do not collect two. But there's no mention of that here.
So it's giving just cleanliness issue. Yeah.
Cleanliness. No, it's a power trip.
This is the hill they're both dying on. I've just seen too many people shit on sidewalks that you're taking your shoes off.
And dogs too. Like, gosh, I've seen the people that live with dogs in New York City.
I'm like, that is so, like, having Bowie poop on the sidewalk every day is like not right.

No, it feels wrong. I was in New York a couple weeks ago and this pug just like strolled out and just pooped right in the center of the sidewalk.
So sad. As like people are like, it's a full sidewalk.

And it is sad.

Like, I think those people like you need to buy your dog.

They sell it as like a subscription even. it's a full sidewalk and it is sad.
Like I think those people,

like you need to buy your dog.

They sell it as like a subscription.

Even it's like a patch of grass.

It's like a,

like a piece of sod and you just put it in a tray and you can like literally

rinse it.

I heard of a dog that was trained to poop on the crates in New York city.

So like it knows when it passes a crate to poop one of those,

like,

yeah,

crates that are in the ground. What about its little paws? I know don't know.
But it's like the dog's so, it's a little golden retriever. So I'm like.
Does it have boots? I don't know. This is a friend of a friend.
I think my girlfriend was telling me this story. This feels wrong.
Yeah, but I'm like that is so sad that like a golden retriever is trained to poop on a crate because it's not seeing nature. Like, or like a sidewalk crate i don't love that oh great is that what it is great great great yeah what are those called those i think yeah great great yeah great g-r-a-t-e yeah yeah no that's super goofy buy the patch of grass for your dog people but i i think this one overall vote what are you going for overall vote i'm not i'm not strong i think she she very well could be an asshole i think we need more information oh okay so you might be on the boat of everyone sucks here yeah i think it's because like i'm saying like if if someone were especially my, I guess it would be my girlfriend's mom.
Yeah. If she walked into the house with shoes, I wouldn't care.
You kidding me? Like, I'm not going to, like, tell her to take off her shoes and make a big fuss of it. See, I'm like, I think not the asshole.
I'm like, your house, your rules. Yeah, it's asserting dominance for sure.
mean you got it at some point yeah maybe they're not there yet after two years i'm like they're living together i think there's asshole traits on both ends right now okay i mean they both need to give a little yes maybe if she really doesn't want to take her shoes off maybe she buys those those little booties. Yeah.
I was just on a set a couple weeks ago and they look like painter booties. And they just pop them on people's shoes to not get backdrops dirty.
That'd be great. Just get her that.
Get her one of those and that would be funny to see the next step. Okay, that's actually a really fair compromise.
Yeah. And then if she refuses to wear those, then we know it's more about her trying to control.
And you know what else is a good option is just go out to dinner. Don't let her in your house.
If you know it's going to start a fight, then don't even let the situation start. Top comment, not the asshole.
If your boyfriend is aligned, how is he handling the situation? I'd expect him to call them and shut it down. The dad shouldn't be attacking you and your boyfriend should be standing up for you.
It sounds like he agrees, but what is he doing to solve the issue? And that is true. The dad texting her being like, you made my wife cry.
Yeah, it sounds like the family doesn't like this girl. I don't think so.
Or have you ever heard the term enmeshment no i love it though they're a little enmeshed like their boundaries are kind of blurred maybe their relationship is closer than it should be yeah i could see that mom's really trying to insert herself in his life and that's you know that's her darling little boy And he's trying to he's yeah i know i could i could see that for sure he's trying to start his own new life and get away from them but they are clawing back yeah op does respond to that he's pretty nonchalant about it understands that she's being overbearing and rude but annoying and doesn't share my frustration with her attitude someone replies replies and goes, then you need to make it his problem as well.

Wow. So they're really taking this girl's side.

Yeah, they're popping off a little bit.

I'm less quick to do so.

You're giving it a little more grace.

But that's why a middle ground wouldn't be a top comment.

You know, the top comments either going to be like,

you got to take a side in these things. And I guess i didn't i i'm leaning towards the mom's side though believe it or not i just love you um yeah i i'm on the girl's side i'm not the asshole not the asshole but okay moving along what's happening y'all it's anthony Edwards.
I listen to hip-hop music all day. The open earbuds are great.
You want to hear the music, but you also got to hear your coach because he's telling you what you need to work on, and it gives you the best of both worlds. The stability of the open earbuds makes them top tier when I'm warming up.
I don't want anything falling out my ears. When you get sweaty, everything tends to start to fall.
They do a great job of just te llaman, todo lo tendrá que fallar.

Ellos hacen un buen trabajo, estoy solo sentado ahí.

Veamos Bose.com para más. Okay, this one is coming from The Vault.
Six years old, coming from Am I the Asshole, titled, Am I the Asshole for Hiring a Private Investigator to Catch My Husband Cheating? Over the past couple of weeks, I've noticed my husband acting differently. He's been coming home later, taking more frequent trips to conferences, and just overall being more distant.
It's probably been a month since we've had sex, and not for a lack of trying on my part. He always says he's too tired or he's not in the mood, which is fine, but it's just been all of a sudden and not very like him.
One of my friends suggested I hire someone to see where he's going and if he's actually being truthful. She said I was well within my right to be concerned.
I hired a young woman through a company to follow him. He had a surgery conference in a city about two hours away.
He told me exactly where the conference would be. After thinking the decision over for several days, I decided to go through with it.
I told the woman I hired to go to the hotel and see if he is actually cheating. I gave her pictures of him, pictures of his car, and even told her what he would be wearing.
I was constantly having second thoughts of whether I'm insane for even going to such lengths. She says he wasn't doing anything suspicious the entire day, just sitting through lectures and going to different workshops.
But after the conference, he didn't go back to his hotel room. He went to the bar and ordered a drink.
She said that my husband saw her and walked up to her and started a conversation. She said he was pleasant, not super flirty.
She said he respected her boundaries and was just making conversation. She told me that most guys she's been hired to follow are usually much more forward and flirty, but it's not out of character for my husband to be more patient and a more methodical guy in the room.
Anyways, she went to the bathroom and called me to tell me what was happening. After describing their conversation, it didn't sound like he was trying to get with her, but she said she could be more flirty if I wanted her to be.
I reluctantly gave her permission to try and get my husband to cheat. And a couple of hours later, she said she convinced him to go up to her hotel room to fuck.
This happened yesterday. I was shocked.
I'm still shocked. It was that easy.
All it took was some woman in her 30s to be flirty and he would throw away years of marriage. I'm numb.
I'm not sure how to feel. I don't even have to know if any of this would have happened had I not hired the private investigator in the first place.
Was I out of line? Am I the asshole here? What does this say about me as a spouse? Did they fuck? Edit to add, she didn't actually go through with it. That would have been, I mean.
It's a movie. Yeah, like get the script.
But, I mean, you have your answer. Yeah.
But is she the asshole for hiring someone? I don't think so. I feel like if you're that paranoid, you have reason to be.
And I don't know where you fall on this, but I feel like not the asshole for hiring the PI but now that you did and have this answer like you have to kind of call it like the relationship clearly isn't working I don't know no that's where I was at like to get to that point where you are gonna hire a private investigator to go stalk your husband at a conference to get to

that point your relationship's not good like there's something going on there so like i think

she just needed confirmation she already knew she needed confirmation she got her confirmation so i

don't think she's an asshole no but yeah that's a wild story like it's literally a movie like

what i want this private investigator's job that sounds so fun okay top comment on the

Thank you. story like it's literally a movie like what i want this private investigator's job that sounds so fun okay top comment on the post though what escort service did you hire this pi from yeah i know like when i was visualizing i had my eyes closed i'm like thinking of private investigator and then it's like he's flirting with her i'm like oh she must be like attractive yeah i'm like how'd get a hot one? I was envisioning a guy in like a trench coat and a little hat.
Maybe she wasn't hot. And that's even more of a flag.
Like maybe, maybe it was like, he just is looking for anything. Oh my gosh.
Okay. Well, I mean, this is six years old.
There is only one comment from OP. What do you say? So someone goes, you're the asshole for doing this at all, but telling her to tempt him is really the asshole move.
I suspect, though, you already know this. And OP responds to that and goes, all he had to do was say no.
Yeah. Which is true.
Yeah. Like, hey, I'm married.
Sorry. No, thanks.
Like it's one thing to sit at a bar on a work trip and have a conversation with a stranger, but then, you know, she's seducing him. All he had to do was say no versus, okay, let's go.
What room are you? And it's like, I can be more flirty. It's like, it wasn't like, I don't know.
It didn't seem like it took a lot just based on the story for him to be down. Yeah.
So I think it was a right read on all parts. It's like, look, he didn't do anything wrong.
He's like talking to me. I can tell there's like interests and stuff, but it's not like he did anything wrong.
And she's like, that's how he is. Like that's she's she yeah she knows it's her husband he's like that's how that's how he operates i i've i know this is how he would go about it yeah i don't think the asshole i'm oh i'm really torn though because someone does say everyone sucks here the relationship sucks yeah i think that's the key the relationship sucks that i even got there so it's a situation again this is why movies are made it's like a situation that shouldn't happen yeah but it worked out for her she got the answers that she needed to be able to cut ties in this relationship but the fact that it got there they both suck i'm with you overall vote did end up being everyone sucks.
Yeah, which is fair. I think that's fair.
But see, I'm going back and forth because now I'm like, I honestly, I don't know because there's so many stories too where someone's like, hey, are you cheating? And they do the thing that you're supposed to do and talk to them and communicate and confront them. And then the person just lies.
It's not more that the OP is an asshole for doing it. I really don't think so.
I think it's more the relationship sucks. It shouldn't have got to that point that she needed to do that.
And then once she went down that path, the relationship was over. if if he didn't cheat the relationship's still over at that point yeah you're hiring a private investigator like the fact that she got her confirmation makes her less of an asshole because it proved she was right yeah but if she was wrong she's an asshole for even trying so it's like the relationship is done yeah yeah

you don't think you don't think there's any couples therapy to save that one no i don't think so i don't either i don't either but six years old op if you're out there i would love an update because we don't have an update on this one this is how we got left no chance they're together still no chance chance. Honestly, though, I don't know.
Yeah. I don't know.
You've seen a lot of crazy stuff. I've seen a lot of crazy stuff.
Because, yeah, hiring a private investigator to follow your spouse is wild. I mean, I would have to be done after that.
Because then my radar, like my sense of trust in that person, it's shattered's shattered yeah there's no coming back for me no no coming back but i've got one more for you today okay this one is coming from aith it is five months old titled am i the asshole for calling off my wedding because my fiance wanted to invite her ex my fiance wanted to invite her ex to our wedding. From what I know, he was a dick who always put her down and told her he was the best she could ever do.
Naturally, I asked her why the hell does she want him at our wedding. She said she wanted to shove it in his face that she did amazingly for herself, and she got someone way better.
While I appreciated the compliment, I asked her, are you really so hung up on him that you're going to make our wedding about him? Honestly, once I said it, it was like someone else told me. I didn't even realize what I was saying, and I didn't understand until I even said it.
I told her that she shouldn't bother to invite him because we weren't getting married anymore. She was stunned and eventually apologized and told me to forget about her ex.
I felt angry and almost told her she's the one who needs to forget about him. I don't know.
She spent the day telling me that she's sorry for even bringing it up. I'll be honest, I'm even reconsidering the entire relationship now.

Am I the asshole? I don't know why, but that one made my heart hurt a little bit. I was like, because a lot of these are outlandish.
This one feels like it's like, that's something that I feel like a lot of people could go through. Yeah.
But just do what everyone else does and see if they're watching your Instagram story. I don't like, don't invite them to your wedding.
Yeah, I would not invite to the wedding. Like, I honestly, I'm so on the guy's train on this.
Yeah. Like, I don't think he's an asshole.
I think he was just putting clues together and then started to confirm. He's like, oh, my God, I've been overlooking this stuff.
Is she even in love with him or is she just using him to make that ex jealous and truly, look what I got. Look, I got better than you now.
And I'm assuming that's what he meant when I was rethinking my whole relationship was that, like, who knows if that other even over yeah like that could have been happening this whole time oh that sucks it's bad I can't even imagine if my fiance was like oh yeah I'm inviting my ex what's funny is when it first happened I'm like oh that's cool like I thought they were all friends if they're friends yeah yeah like that's something that would be different if like if you had an ex that like you dated in middle school or high school or whatever. And like you've since just remained really good friends, like family friend or whatever.
Like that's so different. But this is purely out of spite.
Yeah. And again, putting your marriage on the spite to be like, look, I'm married.
Like you sit in the audience and see what you could have had it's really bad i think he figured it out like this to put this guy on traitors oh my god is this breakup worthy like he's like calling off the wedding right now but like would you even move forward with this relationship yeah like i i i think it is breakup worthy but it's also he has to hear out because at this point is it's a suspicion. Yeah.
He hasn't confirmed it. He hasn't hired the private investigator.
Hasn't gone there. So he needs to hear her out at least.
You can't just make a decision. If you were going to get married, that's a big decision already.
Yeah. So you can't just make this decision alone based on theories but i think he has a good idea that this happened now and they need to have some real conversations for sure do you find it kind of weird that this ex might even say yes to coming like why even invite him like he's probably not gonna say yes like you know what i mean, it's kind of embarrassing that you'd invite him.
Yeah. Yeah.
Like, are you not embarrassed you're inviting your ex? That's why I was like, they have to be friends still. Like, he's going to think you're kind of, he's going to think you're a loser.
Would he go? Would he go? Did they say that he was he invited or was it just that they were thinking of inviting him? She wanted to. Yeah.
Which I'm like, if he said yes, then I'd be like, oh, there's some funny business going on. Yeah.
And then we would need the PI. Yeah.
Yeah. Oh, God.
This one is so like, that's so realistic for this to happen. I know.
It's so realistic. It's really bad.
I wouldn't want to be in his position. You're just cringing on the inside.
You're just like, oh. Because it's just the worst.
He's like, yeah, I don't know. It's so clear that she has feelings for the ex.
That's all it is. It's like, there's no arguing that.
The fact that she's even contemplating bringing him to the wedding, there's feelings there. Even if it's to laugh or to show off.
Yeah. There's something there and he can't ignore that.
I think so. The top comment on this one, not the asshole for calling off the wedding.
If her fixation on her ex raised serious doubts about the relationship,

the fact that she wanted to invite him to shove it in his face shows that she's still emotionally tied to proving something to him.

Yeah, I agree.

Oof.

She's wrapped up emotionally to this.

And who knows?

Like, if it was just to show him the face, it's got to be more than that.

Like, she's not over that past relationship.

No.

Next comment after that.

This.

At minimum, she is not prepared for marriage.

At worst, she still has feelings for him.

I'm not saying to end the relationship, but at least postpone the wedding for several months until you have more time to clear your uneasiness and feel again she is the one.

Don't take unnecessary risks. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, we're on the same boat.
Yeah. We're of the people on this one.
We have an update. Oh, yeah.
We have an update. So we are going to try some premarital counseling first.
Our wedding has gone from being called off to being postponed indefinitely. My fiance tried to explain why she wanted to invite her ex, but not only did she keep changing her answers, each one made it way worse for me.
First, she tried to explain that she just wanted some payback. I told her, and if he doesn't care, are you going to rub it in his face with our first child, our first home? She said she didn't mean it that way and that she just wanted to prove her worth, which I then told her that I guess her ex is the only one who can determine her worth.
Ooh, that one, that one hurt. Dude, this guy is, this guy is good.
we kept going like this for a while, and there wasn't a single answer she gave that didn't boil down to, she cares what her ex thinks, and apparently she can't be happy unless her ex felt some sort of way about it. She denied it, but honestly, I find it hard to believe her.
I don't want our marriage to be only worth something if her ex is the only one who can determine it. I refuse to be with someone whose happiness revolves around her ex's feelings.
I decided to at least try some counseling. We have been together for years now.
FYI, she was with her ex for about two years. Three years later, she met me and we have been together for four.

I figured I should try.

So at least I can say I tried.

Is that seven years though?

Was with the ex for two years.

Three years later met me.

We've been together for four years.

She hasn't been with this person for seven years.

That we know of. There's no way.
There no way there's no way there's no way yeah i think i think there's some involvement still call me paranoid yeah call me paranoid but there's something going on there still and props to this guy for being this guy is very emotional. His emotional intelligence is very high.
Yeah. Because even the easy thing to be is like, go run.
He's like, no, I'll go through therapy. I'll try to save this, even though I have such suspicion.
So he's trying. He's doing everything right.
I give him props all around the board. But I think he knows answer i think so it seems like very emotionally mature like a self-aware king like really pulling his ego out of this and just being like i'm gonna give it a shot try some counseling which isn't necessarily the wrong answer like i i know a lot of us like that sunken cost fallacy have you heard that before i know what sunken cost is yeah so it's like you've committed so much to this relationship already yeah it's like i don't want to back out exactly what we started and i'm like maybe he's there with it but like i honestly i'm like kind of perplexed i'm like seven years girl like you said yes to marrying this person you didn't even get ring clarity so like once he proposed and you're like i'm not over my ex like i should call this off like no you're still going through with it but like seven years she needs to go to individual therapy yeah and get off instagram because i'm sure she's sleuthin that her ex she's got a finn stuff for sure seven years ago and she's still that that obsessed with the ex you know she's looking at his stories every day 100 yeah 100 and then i would just start thinking about everything it's like oh now do you want to go with me on this vacation just to like post that you're happy and shove it in your ex's face and all these things like i would be questioning everything now that you mention it i think I would be too because I'd be like was any of this genuine like or am I just a prop to make the ex jealous yeah am I the b am I always going to be your b plan b yeah oh yeah I feel like I feel like yeah I would I don't even know if counseling's worth it I don't think, I think he knows his answer.
But look, at the end of the day, nothing bad is going to come from therapy. Like he can still voice out all this good stuff.
That's true. It sounds like he owns her in every argument.
So the therapist is going to take his side. Oh, you're so right.
God, what you just said there, like there's nothing bad that would come out of therapy like it would truly all be good one way or another yeah i love that yeah i think it's just gonna further what he already knows and believes that she's gonna keep digging herself in holes and it'll just be even more clarity that he needs to get out of there i mean he absolutely read her yeah when she was. When she was like, she just wanted to prove her worth, which I then told her, I guess her ex is the only one who can determine her worth.
Like that is such a read. Yeah.
Oh, I'm telling you, this guy's great. Top comment on this one.
Not the asshole. After seven years broken up, four years out of the seven with you, and sounds like she is still not over him, I wouldn't dare marry her.
And that's a mic drop. Exactly.
If the ex were to show some interest, she'd drop OP in a hot minute. Oh, yeah.
And that's the thing is she's trying to to get to that moment like with the wedding it's like her goal is to make him feel like damn i missed out like i made the worst decision of my life uh-huh so he might be like i want you back the one that got away i can't know yeah that's that's her goal she wants him to still like her well and inviting the ex to the wedding, I wonder if she wants that I object moment.

To like finally be back and be like oh oh oh oh oh like the movie scene yeah yeah like yeah like like stop the wedding i can't let you go through with this i bet you it is she's living a fairy tale there's no other reason to incite this kind of drama. Exactly.
That's what, that's really what it goes down to though, is like by inviting him, seeing his look of despair, like, oh my gosh, she's inviting that moment where he's like, I'm so, I fucked up. Yeah.
I fucked up. You're the most gorgeous person.
I should have stayed with you. But then it's like, okay, you got your response that you dreamed of.
What's your, what's your answer? Where do you go? I always loved you too. Or is it like, well, you missed out.
Now I'm saying goodbye for good. It's like, no, you're not going to do that.
Like, oh my God. Why would you even want that on your wedding day? That, and then that proves like, no, she needs it.
She's so insecure. like she's oh that sucks like i'm debating even if i can give certain people plus ones for my wedding because i'm like they're too much of a liability and this girl wants to invite her ex crazy yeah absolutely crazy look therapy props to this guy because you said it.
He's a self-aware king. Yes.
Yeah. Self-aware king.
Yeah. But I don't even think you need to do therapy.
You know what's going on. I think you do.
Yeah. Seven years.
When I heard the years, I'm like, no. No.
Yeah. She needs to go do therapy and then report back to him.
And I'm like, wait, how old are these people? But there was no mention of age in the post. Like, that's what I would need as the guy in that relationship.
I would need to know that she went to therapy. She is off Instagram.
She is worked on herself and like is committed to this relationship. That's what I would want to hear.
That's the only thing I would want, like would hear. hear yeah if because otherwise i wouldn't believe any of it i just tried to find some comments from op just to see if there's anything else for us it's there's no mention of age still we're 15 and 14 yeah oh i know they're right yeah no but i mean at least it's been seven years since she dated the ex so i'm'm like, at least they're in their 20s, I would assume.
But OP goes, they aren't fucking friends. He was abusive and they haven't talked in years.
So like we get that context. Yeah, I think he, look, they've talked in years.
There's no way. There's no way.
There's no way. There's no way.
People were like trying to like shit on him and be like women just can't win can they and op goes right because i'm the one who wanted to invite him to the wedding what do you think if i was a woman and my ex a guy i'd magically be like hey it's okay invite your ex and make her an important part of our wedding yeah people got a little goofy in the comments. they took her side on that some but like mostly overall people were saying and saying hey not not the asshole don't don't marry this gal i i think i wish there was an update well i mean op was i keep shutting my computer like, open it again.
OP was commenting as recent as five hours ago.

Oh, okay.

So this is new.

I'm invested.

We got to call this guy.

Okay, wait.

Last comment five hours ago.

We have talked a few times, mostly about finances and property.

I picked up my stuff from our old place.

She lived in our apartment before I moved in. So I moved out.
Good. I think it's done.
It's done. I think it's done.
I think he got the answers he needed. At least done or at least he's really taking space and is like, let's go back to dating, therapy, and really sort this out.
Yeah, that's where it's at. And again, i again i don't even think it's couples therapy like this guy sounds like he's got a good head on his shoulders i completely agree she needs to figure it out and come back to him i think that's where that relationship's at yeah thank you so much for coming on this is what i do every night so it's like hey you're welcome back anytime this is great bring your girlfriend i'm like if she knows a thing or two about reddit we can always use some good quality she always makes fun of me for my takes too she's like you're so like problematic that you always are like this is the she's always like you need to like go extra and be like no i think you did good i think like i feel like you had very like actually reasonable attainable takes which is like a part of the battle here on the show it's like okay everyone's gonna jump to divorce but like is that really what people are gonna do practicals a word a very practical yes there you go i was like wait is there a way we could all get along? Just a little kumbaya moment here.
But where can people find you? Anything exciting coming up? I know people need to go and watch Traders for sure because it is, it's truly some of the best like reality TV I've watched in a while. If you haven't watched Traders, you can watch that on Peacock and it's so much fun.
Like even if you don't watch a lot of reality, it's like, I like I used to watch Survivor was the only reality show. Yeah.
And it's, it really is fun. It sucks you in.
It really does. It's like, it's a gamer show because there's strategy, but there's also like the reality TV type fix with it too.
Totally. Like I, it made me more of a Bravo fan just by watching it.
I know. I know all the Bravo people.
So now I'm like going down Southern Charm and those things and like i've been sleeping on this stuff i know i saw the southern charm and then i'm like people are like okay we got to get gabby on like housewives or something oh my gosh you on summer house or something fun i'm like they're all they all like southern charm is my favorite because you can tell they're all genuine friends like they've been friends their whole lives and it's real drama i don't think i've ever seen that one it's fun especially i saw some of the old stuff and the old stuff's wild it's a different world when you're born in california looking at that i'm gonna have to i have no idea what the culture is over there i'm like so i'm like okay i'm gonna have to dive in but all of dylan's links will be in the description of this episode. Go give him a follow.
Watch Traders. But thank you again.
Thank you. And until next time, bye.
Bye. Just kidding.
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That's not us. Oh, no, That'd be terrible.
Terrible. Heavens.
Heavens to Betsy. Please no.
So here we are. I've got Justin for a couple more stories and we're keeping on this paranoid or perfectly executed theme.
I'm subbing in. You're subbing in.
It's his eye. Yeah.
And I'm dealing with some crazy allergies. Everyone go to your local farmer's market, get some local bee pollen because when these allergies start hitting and you're not getting ahead of it, it is rough out here.
Rough out here. Yeah.

You're doing better today, though. I have been on a Sudafed Claritin Flonase cocktail.
And let me tell you, after five days of struggling, feeling okay right now. I'm surprised you're not just like wired, amped up.
I took my Sudafed early. because i was i mean knowing that i'm kind of surprised you're taking a nap i because i feel so terrible i'm tired i'm just tired those allergies are yeah it feels like an aggressive cold but i don't know allergies i'm sneezing nonstop.
I just can see the pollen in the air. You can actually.

You can. It's just blowing around out here.
But without further ado, let's get into these stories. Also, for our audio listeners, just in case, like who is joining me on these stories? JT.
I don't think you've ever called yourself that on the show.

Justin Time. It's Justin.
Okay, this first one. It's ya boy.
Ya boy, Justin. This is coming from True Off My Chest, posted eight hours ago.
It is titled, I Believe I May Have Caused the End of My Friend's Marriage. My buddy, 42 male, I've known since middle school, and his wife have two kids.
They've been married for 16 years. Apparently, he's had very low sperm count for years, and they were quite lucky to conceive twice.
Regardless, this past Saturday, they're over at our house with another couple for dinner, and we're all laughing and the conversation is light. And then his wife asks us a hypothetical question.
Quote, say your husband asked you for a paternity test. Would you give him one? Well, I know my wife's stance on this.
She is strongly against accusing women of infidelity under the guise of these tests. So I beat her to it and said laughing, quote, if I ever asked, and I never would, she would probably get me positive results within a day or two stapled to divorce papers.
And that would be that. But I would never ask because I love and trust my wife.
And no, there's never any doubt. I think if you're the guy asking, your marriage is already probably screwed and you're killing time till one of you finally starts the ball rolling on divorce okay damn well guess who didn't realize that was not a fun harmless hypothetical but in fact a shotgun, loaded question pointed right at me.
Yep, yours truly. Turns out my buddy's wife is nine weeks pregnant, and he, knowing his count is very low, quote, just needed to make sure.
Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. Big mistake, man.
She was willing to give him the confirmation. U would question it though my comments were like gasoline on a bonfire and from what my wife just texted me they may be separating over this issue i texted them both to say i was so sorry and didn't mean to imply anything and every every situation has nuance, is unique, etc.

But I doubt it helped at all. Guys, why are you asking this to your wives of many years? Just sad all around, and now their third child may be born into a one-parent household.
He could have started with the urologist to find out if his count had improved. So many options before accusing his wife of cheating.
well I don't think really OP had anything

to do with this.

No.

They may feel like they did, but really it was already in motion.

The wife clearly brought it up in this type of environment to start a war

or honestly to commence the next battle in the ongoing war. Or just to be like, hey, here's other people that aren't us.
You're making me feel crazy for being offended. You asked for one.
And this is your friends. Like, listen to your friends, buddy.
I guess because she probably already went to her friends and was like, guess what Dave asked me? Or it's just like, he's asking. He's like, babe, my sperm count is really low.
How are we having a third kid? And she's like, I don't know what to tell you, but we are. And then in his head, he's like, well, my sperm count is so low.
It's not mine.

I want a paternity test. Did he just find out the sperm count thing after?

Because I would assume.

Why is it an issue now?

I would assume he is known.

So they have two kids.

There's no context of how old those two kids are.

You're kind of curious.

Are there age gaps between the kids?

Did they struggle to have those kids?

Like just because it's low sperm count doesn't mean.

They're not strong swimmers.

Thank you. who kids are.
You're kind of curious. Are there age gaps between the kids? Did they struggle to have those kids? Like just because it's low sperm count doesn't mean.
They're not strong swimmers. It's not like he's sterile.
Like he has some. Yeah.
So maybe his wife is extremely fertile to make up for his, you know, infertility. The only thing I can think of is he saw something,

read something online or in some other form,

heard a story from someone else and was like,

oh, when you have low sperm count and your wife gets pregnant, it must mean she's cheating.

Like there's gotta be some rhetoric

that all of a sudden is starting to infiltrate his mind

to have him jump to that question.

And I don't know what it's like being married for 16 years. I don't know, you know, how comfortable you get with someone, but I can't imagine you're comfortable enough that all of a sudden after two kids and now on the third, you're just going to be like, can we double check? Well, and that's where I'm at because you can put yourself, think about us and our relationship right now.
We're six years in. If I found out I was pregnant tomorrow, you wouldn't jump to a paternity test.
Right. They've been together 16 years and have two kids already.
So what's, what in his head made him paranoid to where he thought, oh, well, the third one, you only get lucky twice, not three times. Third one, definitely not mine.
He was being a bit paranoid. Right.
And I wonder, I wonder why. And that's why I wonder if it's like something he saw recently or is there something else he's spiraling about? Because there's also the reality that there could be marriage struggles at 16 years and there could be some other things he's maybe catching on to potentially.
I'm not choosing sides. I'm just curious because it seems very weird to jump from zero to 100.
Yeah. But honestly, I don't know.
I feel like he could just be paranoid. That's just spinning out of control..
Yeah. Like my sperm count's low.
Okay. Well, you're not sterile.
Like you still have some. And you clearly have two other kids.
Like, or he's projecting. Yeah.
Or he's cheating. And I don't know.
Like people project and say and do crazy shit when they're the ones that are guilty.

Yeah.

Well, and the other thing that's interesting about it is how OP is feeling like they caused it, that they caused additional turmoil in this relationship. But then you could say that about, you know, a lot of people comment about our relationship.
and some people at live shows in the comments and all these things have told us, because of the podcast, because of you guys, I left my partner. I realized we weren't right.
That doesn't mean we're sitting here causing all these breakups. We're just exposing things that people may not see themselves.
Just read and read stories, man.

Which is what OP did in this sense.

They said, like, here's the reality.

Yeah.

She asked the question.

I answered.

There's no fault.

No, there's no fault. And I think OP responded perfectly.

I think that was a great execution.

Like, if you're asking for a paternity test in your marriage, it's already got issues. That might be the straw that breaks the camel's back, but it doesn't mean there weren't 10 already there, 10 other issues.
And that paternity test, it's like, how did he get there? Is he projecting? Is he paranoid? Is there issues with them? Either way, he asked for it. Kind of inappropriate.
If you have doubts, why do you have those doubts? Like, evaluate those versus, like, I want a paternity test. Because that's not ever going to have good results.
Or typically, it hasn't in a lot of these stories we've read. I know.
Does it somehow feel like he's not accusing as much when you ask it that way versus just saying, are you cheating? Is it not my kid? I mean, it's the same thing, but maybe somehow it's like, oh, let's do a paternity test. Doesn't sound so attacking, but it is.
Yeah. I mean, if you more approached it from a you standpoint, my sperm count is really low.
This is a big surprise that we would have a third kid. I should look at my sperm count.
And OP does get into this a little bit. So there's a comment from someone and they're kind of attacking opie a little bit here you're looking at it through rose-colored glasses opie try to be in his shoes i highly doubt you wouldn't have had these thoughts as well if you were in his situation it's another to speak it out loud and accuse yes the whole issue of cheating wives and raising someone else's baby

has been blown up on social media and overblown, a little over-exaggerated, and your friend probably looked a little too deep into it. Doesn't take away from the fact it does still happen enough to be a topic.
Just look over at the subreddit of 23andMe, Ancestry, fucking shitshow, because of exactly this. Adding to Adding to him very likely being insecure about his potency and already having two miracle babies and now a third on the way, who wouldn't be confused, surprised, and a miry ad of other emotions? Of course it got into his head.
It's another issue how he handled it poorly. Should have gone to the doctors again, rechecked, etc.
Sometimes sperm count are affected because of stress, diet, and various persons' environmental influence. I'm anyways in the camp mandatory paternity and DNA test at birth.
Not only to determine paternity, prevent switch at birth, but also to check for gene defects, inherited illnesses, etc. And that is a hot take.
Mandatory paternity tests at birth. The thing is, a paternity test is different than a DNA test to check for illnesses.
So you can do a DNA test and not look at paternity at all. But.
Hot take. Hey, listen, they can choose to do however they want.
And as long as they find a partner that's on board. Yeah.
You guys go to your thing. I mean, the switch to birth thing is a big fear for a lot of people, especially if the baby gets taken out of the room for tests and stuff.
I know, that was so common. That was so common for a while.
I feel like they, didn't you say they kind of tighten that up? Yeah, they've tightened that up a little bit. I think they've changed how they, at least at a lot of hospitals, like the hospitals that I have family members that have given birth at, the baby doesn't leave the room.
Right. Like they have a bassinet in the room versus going to a centralized nursery.
So that's nice. But I mean, we've had stories in the past where the husband thought the wife was cheating, did a DNA test on the kid, kid was switched at birth.
That has been a story on one of our episodes. Is it wrong to be paranoid? No, but it's kind of how you approach it.
And that's what that comment said under all the muck of what word vomit was in there. But OP responds to it, okay? OP says, the difference between he and I and possibly you and I is I would have started my fact finding with myself.
Off to my urologist to see if my count has increased. It's like the guy whose wife gets pregnant after he has a vasectomy and instantly accuses her.
Do you know a vasectomy fails a high enough percentage of the time? Less likely as time goes on, but even if it's 1% or 0.1%, there are 300 million people, many of them snipped and having sex. Failed vasectomy pregnancies are happening every single day, but it's never people's first thought.
It's always, ah, has to be she cheated. Guys can start with themselves first and not point the sights on her at all.
Well, and how would you ever actually know though? Because as long as there's a 0.1, 0.0001, there's still a number there. It's not zero.
There's still a chance. Yeah.
Someone wins the lottery. You know, it happens even though the odds are extremely low.
So you never can be conclusive you'll never know i mean i guess you know in the sense of paternity test there's no denying but i 100 agree start with yourself and don't go for the accusation yeah but for someone's already that paranoid, you'll never have a concrete yes. Unless you do the paternity test.
Well, or unless you did it secretly, which people also have done. I think we've read things on that.
Which I'm curious what people would prefer. And this is an interesting one because it's like, I think for me, I would, oh, it's so hard.
It's so hard, but I would almost rather prefer not knowing. Like if, if my partner, if you had doubts and you're like, God, this kid really doesn't look like me.
Let me just be sure. I would almost rather not know.
And like, if that's a weird thing, you out like have to get over. But then I'm like, but there are a lot of cracks.
Like if you get that far, there's obviously a lot of cracks in our relationship. But I'm thinking I'm going to make this one the poll of, would you rather have your partner talk to you about the doubts, talk about a paternity test, whether it's, hey, I think our kid was switched at birth.
It might not be just, oh, you cheated, but would you rather them talk to you about it or secretly do the paternity test and then life goes on and you never have to know? I'm sure that's happened. And I'm sure there's people who have done that and have never said a word, been happy and all buttoned up from there on out.
Yeah, I'm curious. Leave it to the poll.
Leave it to the poll. Put it to the people.
I'm excited to see what you guys think. But top comment on this one.
Their marriage was over long before you opened your mouth. Came here to say this.
Next comment. He could have a low count, but particularly modile, spunky boys,

or his wife produces loads of eggs and is pretty much permanently at breeding temperature.

It's far more complex than low count equals unlikely.

He's an idiot to jump to this, and it signifies a bigger underlying trust issue.

Possibly he could have been depressed about what he thinks low sperm means for him a good while, but he should have talked about it. It could be his own shame lashing out, but even so, he's an idiot.
This next comment also, thank you, infertile does not mean sterile. Infertile just means it's harder to get pregnant or make someone pregnant, not impossible to get pregnant or impossible to make someone pregnant.
If they haven't been using any birth control, it's very likely that he is the father of that baby. Next comment.
Exactly. Low count doesn't mean no count, and it only takes one.
That's right. Yeah.
That's right. Yeah, there we go.
Moving on to the next one. All right.
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This one is a very peculiar problem. It is coming from AITAH, 12 days old, titled,

Prophecy. I, 23 female, have a cousin, Lila, 25 female, who is very into family lore, spiritual omens, and old prophecies that have been passed down through our great-grandmother's side.
Most of the time, I just go along with it because it's harmless. Stuff like, never plant rosemary on a full moon, or our bloodline has a connection to the ocean.
Weird, but whatever. Well, now Lila's pregnant and things have gotten intense.
Last week, she announced that she wants to name her daughter after me. I was flattered at first and asked why she chose my name.
That's when she got all serious and said, quote, because you're the chosen one. Uh, excuse me? She explained that according to a family prophecy, a girl born into our bloodline with my name would have a great spiritual awakening, unlock ancient family powers, and become the protector of our lineage.
I laughed, thinking she was joking. She wasn't.
She said she felt her baby was meant to be the true heir to the prophecy, and by giving her my name, she could absorb my connection to whatever mystical forces our great-grandmother supposedly tapped into. Then she got weirdly intense and said, quote, I need you to release the name to her.
I asked what that meant, and she said that for the magic to work, I needed to stop using my name and let it fully belong to her daughter. I was like, quote, Lila, you want me to give up my own name? She nodded and said I could pick a new one, something neutral and mundane, so I wouldn't compete for the energy.
I thought this was absolutely insane and told her, hell no, my name is my name. She got really upset and said I was being selfish with my spiritual destiny and that I should be honored that her child was meant to fulfill the prophecy.
Now, some family members, who are also into the whole mysticism thing, are saying I should at least consider it because this is bigger than me and the prophecy has never been wrong before. I honestly don't care if the kid gets magical powers or not.
I'm not renaming myself just so her baby can have full access to the family spirits or whatever. Am I the asshole for refusing to give up my name? No.
But before the name change part, I was thinking, oh, just own it. And I would look at her and be like, you found out.
I am the chosen one. And I would have walked around like I was just the one.
Like, I am here. You have found me.
Really amped it up. Oh, yeah.
Yeah. And like, I don't even know it's maybe start wearing a crown of sorts but really play into it yeah and who knows okay this is way out of my wheelhouse but maybe they're tapped into something or maybe they're nuts it's one or the's really no in between.
But no, I'm not changing my name. You want me to legally change my name? You know how much of a pain in the ass that is? That's what everyone knows me as.
That's what is on all of my documents. Imagine changing that and doing it.
People would be like, why are you doing this? Oh, it's, well, hang on. It's because I'm the chosen one.
It's because I was meant to do this. But if I'm the chosen one, why am I changing my name? So then again, I would play into it some more.
And I would be like, I am the chosen one. I am more connected than you are.
And if I change my name, it'll cast a spell on all of us. And we're all going to start crawling on the ceiling in the middle of the night.
So it's funny you amp this up because the top comment does play along the lines of this. Not the asshole.
Tell her you are indeed the chosen one. And if she tries to steal steal your power you will curse her and all of her descendants yeah yeah play the game i honestly you might have to it might be the only thing she buys into because it's like you already said my name there's a prophecy how am i not the chosen one i i am the chosen one how dare you cross me you can't just, listen, I don't know how these things work, but I imagine if I was writing this story, I would not, it wouldn't make sense for the character then to change their name and the new baby to gain the name.
It doesn't work like that. That's not how this stuff works.
I've never seen a story or a book or anything where that's the case. You can't just become the chosen one because you took someone's name.
I mean, yeah, it's also a name. Like, I don't know, so many families have the same name passed down throughout it.
People bow down to kings for millennia because they're born as children of that king and queen. Not because the sister of the king had a kid and then was like, that's my name.
Then they had to kill some people to get there. So that was, I mean, that was dark.
I know. I mean, I'm all for changing your name if you don't vibe with it.
Sure. Like, if you want to change your name.
Yeah. I also love that you point out, oh, it's so hard to change your name and all the paperwork.
It is. And women, people that get married and take their partner's name.
Yeah, it's a pain in the ass. It's terrible.
And it's like, you have to change it on things you never even thought it's everything everything there's accounts that come up that you're just you never even knew about everything so there is a comment here i find funny uh someone goes can i please have someone make the same announcement in my family i hate my name i always have but i would look foolish and immature to change it now just because i hate it. First of all, I'm 42.
Second of all, my name is Karen. Oh, so did you hate it because of the context? Probably.
Probably. Dang.
When did that start? Was that definitely like last 10 years kind of thing? Yeah. I think so.
It hasn't been Karen. That hasn't been a thing forever.
forever no because I have I have an aunt Karen I think Karen Karen was a really popular name there are some Karens that are definitely Karens though yeah where the shoe fits for sure but I don't know I feel like I put this one in the theme because I'm like honestly wouldn't you be kind of paranoid that your cousin was like going to fuck you up for the name? I'm like, I'm kind of scared. I'm like, I get she believes like some people would be like, hey, the cousin's going through something.
Others are going to be like, no, she believes in what she believes in. What's the difference believing in this versus believing in a God or a higher power? So I'm not knocking the prophecy stuff.
But I would just be paranoid that like she really wants this damn name. People have done crazy stuff because of their beliefs.
I know. Or even not beliefs just because they want something.
Think of the crazy wars. I'll never forget this true crime story.
This woman was pregnant and her best friend pretended to be pregnant the whole time too, do at the same time. And her best friend came in, killed her, took the baby.
When? Tried to pretend the baby was hers. Came in where? Not to the hospital.
To her house. Wow.
She didn't get away with it. I bet not.
But just people are fucking crazy. Huh.
Crazy. I want to read more about that one.
I don't know. I don't know.
I think I'm covering it on my new true crime show.

I know.

But yeah, we don't have any comments from OP that I see.

So that's all I got.

Damn, this would be an incredible one for an update.

I would love an update.

I want the story to continue.

I would love an update.

Hey, maybe if you start embracing the chosen one, maybe your powers will come.

I don't know. I'd like to find out.
But moving along. Okay.
Okay. This one is coming from Am I the Asshole, 11 days old, titled, Am I the Asshole for Withholding Pregnancy Information from My Mother-in-Law? I, 25 female, am currently 14 weeks pregnant.
When we found out about the pregnancy on New Year's, we shared the news with my mother-in-law. We called her.
She was on speakerphone when my husband broke the news. He told her we are pregnant.
Great news for us. His stepdad didn't hear what was said and nagged her to share the news.
I could hear him on the call. And she said, quote, she is pregnant again with a lot of disappointment and dissatisfaction.
Later, she explained to my husband that she was just worried about him. So now to today and why I'm writing this post.
I'm withholding information about the pregnancy since that phone call. She continuously asks how far along I am, if I will find out the gender, and when my due date is.
Very harmless and normal questions. But from my experience with my son, 21 months, she was asking in the last month of pregnancy every week if I went into labor, then every day in the last week leading up to the due date, and every day past the due date.

She kept insisting she needed to be informed ASAP, and it's very important to her.

Then she insisted to be in the labor room.

I said no.

She insisted to be in the hallway.

I said no. Then she pulled the card, but your mom is going to be there.
Why can't I be? I won't get in the way. My mom was nowhere near the hospital when I was in labor.
Neither did I ever ask or mention her potentially being there. I only wanted my husband by me.
My husband told his stepdad that I went into labor after I asked to keep it to just ourselves because of his mom's shenanigans. So he broke my trust while I was vulnerable.
I was in labor for 32 hours. I could hear her call him every hour, and he would constantly leave the room and leave me alone.
He was highly distracted. When he stopped answering her calls, she started spamming his phone with texts.
And apparently, she was bugging my mom for any information about the labor. Currently, I avoid topics of pregnancy.
I hide under oversized clothes when I am around her, shoot her down when she brings up any pregnancy-related stuff, act stupid like I never got the due date,

and that I am not sure what gender would be.

No point guessing.

That I don't care about the pregnancy and I'm busy with work.

I feel like I'm an asshole,

but I want to have some privacy and go through labor

and have my husband's attention on me.

And I want to have a few days after the labor

where I don't answer calls or I'm expected to send photos or allow people to visit. I don't think I'm asking for a lot.
But am I the asshole? I'm withholding information from my family too and my father-in-law husband's bio dad, even though they never wronged me. They don't pester me to tell them anything and they respect my decisions.
Yeah, as do I. I don't think you're being an asshole at all because with any story that relates to giving birth, being pregnant, whoever it is that is pregnant and giving birth, all decisions are theirs

and that's final.

Yep.

It's their birth plan. It's what they want.
I mean, it can be traumatic. It can be dangerous, life-threatening.
There's a lot of shit going on. It can go smooth, even smooth.
You're still giving birth. Well, but you don't know it's going to go smooth until you're done.
You know what I mean? So you're always ramping up. You never know what's going to happen.
And the last thing you need is to be dealing with all this external stress from your partner's family. No.
I mean, really. Yeah.
And here's where I'm like, I think right now she is executing this perfectly. I don't think she's being paranoid because the mom acted really goofy the last time.
Like the proof is in the pudding. Yeah.
But here's the other thing with this one. And I think you need to get a little paranoid about how your husband's gonna act your husband went against what you wanted told stepdad she went into labor stepdad told mom that's when all the pestering happened okay mom's calling husband mom's getting crazy mom's overbearing crossing boundaries boundaries, calling every hour.
Which, why, also? What's the fascination? Insane behavior. But you know who the bigger culprit in this is? The husband.
Shut off your phone. Don't enable your mom.
Quit being a mama's boy. You have a wife in labor and you're answering your phone every hour on the hour for 32 hours.
Oh, I would have not let him come back in. I would have fucking tossed that phone out the hospital window.
I would have gone crazy. And I know I'm not blaming her by any means because she was quite literally giving birth.
It's not what she should have to worry about. But God, the phone ringing off the hook like that.
Has she had the baby yet? Has she had the baby yet? And then he leaves every time. Kind of like, you'll know.
You'll know, bitch. Get over here and hold my hand.
You'd know. I don't know why people pester people for things.
I ask people to when it's like, hey, can you do that at this time? And I'm like, yes. And if I forget, please remind me.
Yeah. Please bug me until I do it.
But there's also situations where we'll let you know, we'll update you. But now that you've shown you go this nuts and I don't, don't get it because of the tone like i'm still thinking about that initial thing the reaction to the oh my god and i'm she's pregnant again i'm trying to figure out why and is was that all because of her not being able to be involved how she wanted the first time and knowing she'd have to go through that again?

Or like, I mean, the mom said like she was just worried about him, like the husband.

But in reality, like she could be worried about her son being even busier with another kid and not having any time for her.

Like, this is clearly a mom that oversteps boundaries and is enmeshed with her son. So she wants to be overly involved, like from the moment with this kid.
That's the vibe I'm getting. Okay.
Because it's just kind of strange. Yeah.
I get people being excited, right? Families get really excited. But I also know that once you set that boundary, you know, I just can't imagine being a family member who would cross those lines to be just like, how does she not understand she's being too much? Well, I'm looking at OP's account, okay?

I wanted to see if there were any other comments.

OP has been on Reddit for over two years now.

The first couple posts on her account do shed some light.

First post in r slash baby bumps.

Excited about pregnancy, but irritated because of my mom-in-law.

Thank you. First post in r slash baby bumps.
Excited about pregnancy, but irritated because of my mom-in-law.

I did not know this existed.

This is so fun.

Was that referencing the first pregnancy or this one? The first one, two years ago.

Yeah, two years ago.

This is first baby.

I'm a 22-year-old female, currently 16 weeks pregnant.

My first trimester was very frustrating due to a lot of negative results while I was pregnant, both home tests and two blood work plus ultrasound. I lost 10 pounds due to the continuous nausea and vomiting.
I bring up the subject here because I definitely feel a bit guilty about it. My family took the news calmly and once in a while bring up my pregnancy and don't make a big deal about it.
But on the other hand, my in-laws' family, especially mom-in-law, are overly excited about it. It'll be her first grandchild, so I understand the excitement, but it's also my mom's first grandchild, and I can't help but get annoyed by it.
I'm not sure if it's due to the pregnancy hormones that I get so irritated about their excitement, or it's because of the approach that my mother-in-law takes. For example, she just stated that she will prepare her second bedroom for the child ASAP and told me not to purchase anything because it's too early for that.
Next thing she stated that she would do the baby shower for the baby in March. I didn't ask for it.
While I do understand the goodwill behind it, I'm genuinely irritated because of it. Did anyone have any similar experiences or frustrations like that? Am I the asshole for being irritated by happy people? See, but is it goodwill, right? I think we're finding out it's not.
I think people can mask real intentions under the guise of things that are, you know, generally seen as goodwill. Well, and I think that's one thing to be super excited and throw a baby shower.
That's normal. But when the mom is saying, oh, the second bedroom in my house, it's going to be a nursery.
I'm going to put a crib in there. I'm going to get everything.
You, it's too early for you to shop for your house. You don't need anything.
And maybe there's a language barrier. Maybe something's getting lost where it's like, wait until shower get all your gifts at your shower don't buy anything but most in-laws most grandparents don't set up full bedrooms for your baby that's where it's kind of like my baby's not staying at your house it doesn't need its own room like you babysit, we can bring a little fold-up crib.

It doesn't need to be crazy.

Right.

Because if you're going to the lengths

to do that for your own place,

why not make sure that they're set up first?

Yeah.

You know, and like you were saying,

it could be,

you could even do it earlier.

Like you don't have to wait for the shower if you have good intention. But if you're going to go to the lengths to set up that at your own place, I mean, baby's not going to be at your place for a while.
At least I would think. Yeah.
Don't you keep the baby home for like a good amount of time before they venture out to like grandparents' house? Well, typically a lot of people now are doing that. I think it obviously depends on the family and like some moms have to go back to work right away.
Their parents will pick up the slack and, you know, help. But typically like people are really nesting.
Like maternity leave here varies, but like three-ish months for the moms I know. And so they really kept their babies at home because they don't have immune systems and they want to bond and blah, blah, blah, blah.
Because we've seen babies in public and you're like, that baby's way too young to be out here. There was, and I teach their own.
Like, I'm not going to judge a mom. Like, maybe that's what she needs to prevent postpartum depression, whatever.
But for the immune system. For the immune system, I was very surprised.
There was like a literal, it was fresh. It was fresh no more than a week or two weeks old.
Like, there's no way. It's the smallest baby I've ever seen in public in my life.
And it was headed into a bar at Disneyland. Yes, that's where it was.
You know, who knows? And like, again, like maybe that baby, the mom needed that. So she's mentally better.
Like, I don't, I don't know the situation. I was just surprised given how little it was in immune systems.
That's, that was fun. I was like, whoa, But I have seen like drama in the hockey community recently and um someone i follow from like her being in duluth the same time i was there her name's lexi lefleur um well socials wise she just wrote her first book like so so cool but she is married to a hockey player that played at my college in Duluth.
And there was this mom being shamed for taking a newer baby to watch her husband play hockey. And all these people were like, how dare you bring a baby to a hockey game? And the thing is, if you're a wag, you're going in a private room, you have a catered mealmet food that chefs prepare like that might be the best place for her to go her whole community is there and that's kind of what lexi was talking about so you gotta do what i don't know anything about it no and moms i mean you gotta do what you gotta do like that is just it's tough You can only do so much like kids pick up RSV from, I don't know.
It feels like everyone's getting RSV right now. It's just so scary, but whatever.
So then there's drama with another post titled wedding slash pregnancy drama. I, female 23, currently 31 weeks pregnant.
This weekend I I got married to my husband, 25, after two years of being and living together. I know it's a random post from usual pregnancy stuff, but I can't figure out what I'm feeling.
My husband is lovely and I love him a lot, and of course would love to have his whole attention. But we got married four hours away up the mountains.
His childhood friend couldn't afford to come to the wedding, hotel, food, etc., and I didn't have an issue with helping cover the costs. But due to not having a car either, we had to also let him join us, and my husband kept running to pick him up and drop him off everywhere, even when family suggested they do it for him.
His friend is amazing, and I enjoy his company, but I feel so jealous that my husband barely paid any attention to me throughout. We had a short ceremony, photo shoot, and then dinner, drove home the next morning.
His friend was even there when my husband helped me take off my wedding dress. We didn't have a wedding night because we were so tired.
I feel upset about it and I can't

bring myself to tell my husband.

His friend is still around the day after.

His friend

was there as you were taking

off your wedding dress. What does that mean? What's under

a wedding dress? Sometimes

a corset.

Sometimes just underwear.

Lingerie. But not a full you know cover-up not something that you're typically is seen beyond an intimate partner yeah and that's also supposed to be a really special moment like well it's not like a bikini at the beach you know what i'm saying you're taking off a freaking wedding dress well and it's like your new husband is taking off your dress like that's that's meant to be like a bikini at the beach.
You know what I'm saying? You're taking off a freaking wedding dress. Well, and it's like your new husband is taking off your dress.
Like that's meant to be like a really special moment for a lot of people. Like, hey, John, I've just got to take off this dress real quick.
Hang out for a second. Yeah.
So I think it's just kind of proving like her husband doesn't prioritize her again and again and again. Yeah.
And the mom is just one other thing. Like it's not.
And she's the mom. Well, the mom's taking full advantage of that.
Yeah. For sure.
Yeah. Especially with how crazy she is about the babies.
Yeah. We do have some other comments though in regards to this specific post.
Sadly, fighting her back is not an option. We tried that.
She victimized herself and makes my life harder. There's a lot of drama way beyond just this part.
So someone does go, I'm not sure I understand. Have you told her that you are not giving her any information because she's an annoying pest that gives you stress and anxiety and you refuse to have that during your pregnancy? Time for brutal honesty.
If you piss her off enough, she'll leave you alone. Not the asshole.
I don't think, I don't think that's this lady at all. Piss her off.
She's going to hound you harder. We all know one of those people like pissing them off only makes it worse.
Oh, this home is not fit for the baby. I'm going to take the baby.
I already have a perfectly fit room. Then you get into that kind of crazy stuff.

Yeah.

So someone responds to that and goes,

bare minimum, I'd tell her a due date way past my actual due date, LOL.

OP responds, I was thinking of that.

My husband disagrees, saying it's an asshole move.

Whose side is this motherfucker on?

Because it's not hers. I'm still stuck in the wedding dress thing my mind just goes so many places because of all the stories we've read i'm like is he into his friend i know but she's pregnant with his baby so he is into her in some way but like maybe he is into the friend and like i i don't know like't know.
Or he's just that oblivious to his wife's wants and needs and actually being her partner.

Because that's kind of where the pattern that's the pattern here.

I'm perplexed.

I'm just curious about their daily life now.

I want to get into their you know who does the chores who takes care of the kid who does this and that. Yeah.
It just makes you, you want to just know the whole situation. I know.
OP just goes on to say, like, I can't really tell father-in-law or brother-in-law because they'll tell the mom. There is one last comment I'll read that is almost, it looks like a bit of an update.
Oh, wow. I did not expect so many comments and so much support.
As the post has a limit of word count, I was not able to add extra information. So I'll update you now.
My husband is actually not the asshole. I know it can seem that way.
I told him off about what he did prior, and we worked very hard to put together boundaries with his mom. He is actually very gentle and a loving human being.
I'm very lucky to have him in my life, and that is why we are extending our family. Did he write this? Are you okay? Extending? I made this post to show him that his mom is not to be trusted and put extra effort to make that experience better for us.
He took it upon himself to tell her the due date two weeks after the actual one. It was his idea.
And we agreed that he would tell her about the baby after the baby is born, not during labor. Thank you everyone for the support.
I'm hoping this birth would be quiet and peaceful for me. I am positive my husband won't make the same mistake.
I did forgive him for the last one, just a bit salty still. I just, I'm still not even comfortable with it.
I don't feel like- She's got to get more paranoid. I don't feel like he will, I don't think it'll work out that way.
The two week thing.

And I'm wondering if he even actually truly did that.

Yeah.

Cause I don't, I don't trust him.

I don't trust him now.

I don't either.

I don't know.

I mean, this person is somewhat active on Reddit.

Obviously there was a two year span between the wedding drama and, you know, this post,

but maybe we will get an additional update. I'm hoping so.
I want nothing but a smooth and easy pregnancy labor delivery, but I really would be making sure, like, aggressively that you and your husband are on the same page because I think, like, even where he was like, oh, you know, he went and gave her a fake date two weeks out. Why not a month? Why not two months? Hey, send her on a little vacation somewhere.
Oh my gosh. Make sure she's out of town during, you know, the week before and after your due date.
You guys want to go on a cruise? We won this cruise. It came early, but we just want to, you know, we're not able to go right now, obviously.
But we would love for you guys to go enjoy this. Guess what? She gone.
Smooth, quiet, peaceful. Just crazy.
Crazy, crazy, crazy. I think she should get more paranoid, to be honest.
But so far, perfectly executed. Wish her well.
Yeah. Okay.
That is all I got for this episode. I hope you enjoyed the additional stories to make it a little longer.
Gosh, that last one was like a three for one. I know.
I didn't realize those were going to be there. Sometimes it's a surprise when I go digging.
But we are headed over to record some Patreon now. So come on over.
We're getting into more paranoia issues, wedding drama, some mother-in-law drama. There's one that's like really, really going to be good.
It's titled, I caught my husband having sex with his mistress in the car with our baby in the backseat.

Nice.

So we're getting into some tea.

So come on over.

But other than that, until next time.

Until next time.