208: Take the Trash Out

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Speaker 1 This episode is brought to you by Ollie. You know what shouldn't be a hot take? Wanting great sex and a healthy hoo-ha.
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Speaker 1 Okay, you ready? I'm so ready. Yeah.
Here we we go. We've got our stress fruit.

Speaker 2 Yeah, if you can't see us, we have stressed fruit in our hands.

Speaker 1 Stress fruit. We're squeezing it.
It's so needed. I've bought like 10 of these things and I can't stop.
There's so many different textures, objects.

Speaker 2 I like that it has these little points at the ends of it that you can kind of push in for the banana.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm like, okay, here we go.

Speaker 1 Are you ready? I'm ready. I'm not ready.
I actually am not ready. I'm stressed about these.

Speaker 2 I'm born ready to take the trash out, but I am nervous due to like your vibe about some of these stories about what I'm going to hear.

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 1 You guys, buckle up.

Speaker 1 I feel like some of the titles alone are just like very...

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 So I feel like we are all going to be a bit enraged today.

Speaker 1 And it's okay.

Speaker 1 You know? Yeah. It's okay.

Speaker 1 It's not our drama. We just have to remember that.
At the end of the day, it's not not our drama.

Speaker 1 We just get to vicariously live through these people a little bit and it's the tea without it actually burning you. Whoa.

Speaker 2 Have you said that before?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 2 Wow, Morgan. Maybe.

Speaker 1 Friends, it's been 200 plus episodes. I'm not sure.

Speaker 1 Let me know if I have, but welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes. I'm your host, Morgan.

Speaker 2 Oh, I'm Michaela. Hi.

Speaker 1 Michaela, as you know, one of our regulars now at this point.

Speaker 1 I just, I love having you.

Speaker 1 Any updates? I'm like, any updates in life? Personal updates? Yeah, what's happening?

Speaker 2 It's raining. I'm in my vibe.

Speaker 2 I've been, we've been going to that $35

Speaker 1 head spa pretty often. Unreal.
I know. I'm like, I can't tell people.
Check out the local massage parlors in your area. Because sometimes they have really good deal.

Speaker 2 Yeah. If they do the thing where you stay

Speaker 2 clothed, you stay clothed and it's a big room of people who are clothed, they might be offering a really shocking discount.

Speaker 1 Keep discounts if you keep your clothes on. Yeah, which for me, ideal situation.

Speaker 2 Like, actually, I prefer that.

Speaker 1 So paying less for that. Yeah.
I can't believe it. Can't believe this is my best.
Check them out. Check them out.
That has been good.

Speaker 1 We're going to Costco after this.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we're going to get a lot of samples.

Speaker 1 150 hot dog.

Speaker 2 150 hot dog and drink.

Speaker 1 I know the CEO, I think, is retiring too. So get your $150 hot dog and drink combo while you can.

Speaker 2 He said if someone changes the price, he'll shoot them.

Speaker 1 Did he actually say he said something like that? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Look it up. Oh my God.

Speaker 2 Maybe, like, no, I think it was that, but if not, then it was something very similar to that.

Speaker 1 He stands on business.

Speaker 2 I know him and the Arizona Ice T guy.

Speaker 1 He, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.
He was like, we're still making money. Why would I increase the price? Wow.
We don't see that energy enough.

Speaker 1 Capitalist with a soul.

Speaker 1 Let's get into these stories, okay? Let's dive in.

Speaker 1 Okay, you ready?

Speaker 1 This first one is coming from r/slash relationship advice. It's two hours old.

Speaker 2 Wow, she did it again.

Speaker 1 It is titled, Am I Overreacting? We, 29 female and 27 male, bought a house. But when he posted on social media, he made it seem like he bought it alone.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I, 29 female, and my partner, partner, 27 male, bought a house in October 2024. I don't post on social media, but he does.

Speaker 1 He posted the house we bought, but there was no mention and no pictures with even a slight image of me.

Speaker 1 It seemed as though he was trying to give off the impression that he bought it himself for himself.

Speaker 1 Everyone in the comments was congratulating him, which is nice, but it kind of hurt my feelings because it's our house with both of our names.

Speaker 1 And if anything, not that it matters, and I would never throw it in his face, but I paid the 13K deposit on this house by myself.

Speaker 1 And I know that probably sounds petty, but my feelings are hurt. He doesn't usually post to me, and I've never fussed about it, but the house post kind of stung a little bit.

Speaker 1 Do I accept that it's just social media and not that big of a deal?

Speaker 2 Sometimes you really need friends to tell you you're not being petty. And I've been experiencing that this week as well, where I'm like, oh, I'm overreacting.
Am I being an asshole?

Speaker 2 Like, am I nitpicking? Am I being petty? And hearing it from other people, like, no, anyone would be annoyed by that is so helpful. Like, come on.
He knows what he's doing.

Speaker 2 You guys bought a house together. That's something to be proud of.

Speaker 1 Well, and it's also the fact that he doesn't post her on social media

Speaker 1 at other times either. So he just wants to look like he's not in a relationship and now he's this well-established guy that bought a house.

Speaker 2 Like, who are you trying to impress if not your partner?

Speaker 1 They're, they're dating, right? Or are they? Yeah. Yeah.
My partner.

Speaker 2 Why, like, why is that something that you want other people to perceive?

Speaker 1 Well, and also the fact that like she was the one that put down the 13K deposit, which like that percent down, that money down, that's the reason you get the house.

Speaker 1 It's not because you can make the payments because this is why so many people are stuck renting.

Speaker 1 It's, it's like this scam of like, okay, you need so much down and then you have to make the mortgage payment, which it's like, okay, that's hard to save and get to. So it's like,

Speaker 1 it's not even being like, this isn't even a fair setup because

Speaker 1 she put all the money down.

Speaker 2 Yeah, because sometimes the mortgage isn't really that much more than rent would be.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 2 Which is why sometimes I'm like, if I could just get the money to put down for a house, like making the difference for a mortgage versus rent really wouldn't be a huge deal. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And it does make you wonder if it really is just on social media that he devalues her contributions and like sort of over-hypes his contributions, or if this is something that is a general theme in his personality as well.

Speaker 1 I wonder if it's general. I wonder like what his friends and family actually think.

Speaker 2 Yeah, like how he described it, like personally every text to them.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, it's my house.

Speaker 1 Like, if you break up, I hope this is what's so hard because like I get like you're dating, you're calling him partner. Like there's no mention of how long they've been together in this initial post.

Speaker 1 Like I'm going to go look at comments and hopefully we get some more context from OP,

Speaker 1 but you probably shouldn't buy a house with your partner that doesn't post you on social media and doesn't really.

Speaker 1 And I get it. Some people are like, it's social media.
It's not real. Yeah.
Like maybe he's a private person.

Speaker 2 But he's posting on social media about the new house that he bought, which doesn't feel that private to me.

Speaker 1 No, I'm like, is the address visible? All it takes is a Google image search and they can find that house.

Speaker 2 People can find that so easily now. Like even just yeah, with a reverse Google image search, you don't even have to be talented at finding people and hunting them down.

Speaker 1 It's insane. Like look at the show Catfish and how they were able to track people down.
Yeah. Off small details.
We have no comments from OP, so no idea how long they've been together.

Speaker 1 But this is also so messy because it's like, did you do a contract that if you break up, you sell the house, house, but you get your

Speaker 1 like, you get more back payment. Yeah.
Yeah. Cause otherwise, what, do you split the house 50-50, even though you put in more initially? Yeah.

Speaker 2 And then the value is bound to change over time. So is that in the mathematics of it all? Like, will you just get that amount you paid back?

Speaker 2 Or like, if it changes by $2,000, will you then get that like extra $2,000 back?

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 1 My brother did this. He bought a house with his girlfriend and they literally broke up like six months later.

Speaker 1 And luckily, they, they were able to get out of it and like they actually made like 10K each on this house. Oh, wow.
That's awesome. Which was great.
But it's like, it doesn't always go like that.

Speaker 1 Sometimes you lose value.

Speaker 2 Yeah. If they were to have gone in completely 50-50, it wouldn't have been so stressful figuring out what would happen during the breakup.
But like her completely covering that down payment.

Speaker 1 And then he has

Speaker 2 yeah, I just don't like that. And I don't like so many people

Speaker 2 on the internet. and it's like it is a lot of people, but it's also probably mostly just the people he actually knows.

Speaker 2 Unless this guy's like an influencer, which I don't, it doesn't sound like that's the thing.

Speaker 2 So, like, why

Speaker 2 don't the people in your life know about her if she's serious enough that you're moving in together?

Speaker 1 You're buying a house together, yeah.

Speaker 1 Very odd. This is sus to me.
I don't know, maybe I'm overthinking it, though. You guys, you go let us know.
Top comment on this one: okay, so he doesn't post you other times either.

Speaker 1 He wants to appear single. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Next comment down, this. He wants women to think he is a single homeowner, a very eligible bachelor at 27.

Speaker 1 Comment that it was such a huge accomplishment for you both to buy this home together and that you are so happy to share in homeownership with your life partner.

Speaker 1 Then make a similar post, but mention and tag him in the way you wish he had done so it shows up on his followers' feeds. Yes.

Speaker 1 Someone replies back. I bet he deletes it.
And that is very telling.

Speaker 2 That would be so embarrassing that he would make the post being like, yeah, I bought this house. And then if you look at his girlfriend's page, it's like, we bought this house.

Speaker 1 Come on. Come on.
Which, this is so interesting. So there's two comments from OP about this post.

Speaker 1 I don't know if I would call it bragging, but I'll say that he does like to post nice things or achievements or traveling type of content. And no, he doesn't post to me those other times either.

Speaker 1 but I may just be taking the house part more personal.

Speaker 1 I am on the deed,

Speaker 1 as you should be for putting 13K down. Right.

Speaker 2 Why is that even a question?

Speaker 1 Thank God. Yeah.
Thank God. Some people would get bamboozled.
I've seen, I've seen some stuff. I've seen some stuff.
So I don't know.

Speaker 2 I think he just wants to have his cake and eat it too, waiting for maybe a better option, but yeah, it's sort of getting like the best case scenario with this girl because she's comfortable with him not posting her.

Speaker 2 She's comfortable with paying the majority of things and him like getting the clout for it, I guess, if clout's the word for your friends and family.

Speaker 1 But I literally, oh my God, this is giving me flashbacks. I don't know why this wasn't ringing alarm bells for me.
I have an ex who I dated and he lived in Canada while I lived in Minnesota.

Speaker 1 So I was always like.

Speaker 1 commuting back and forth like he didn't really come to me and i would take these pictures when we would go to like science museums and we would do this and I would take the pictures

Speaker 1 and we would get pictures together too. Yeah.
The only pictures he would post are the ones that I took that didn't include me in it.

Speaker 1 And he literally did it so that he could have another girlfriend in Canada at the same time.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 This stuff is so intentional. When it comes to like, you're going on trips together and going to these exotic locations, like

Speaker 1 you're his partner. The fact he doesn't post one picture of you guys together.

Speaker 2 When you're buying a house together, like if there's any any time you're going to post about your partner, it's when you're posting about buying a new house and you did it together as a couple.

Speaker 1 This is literally the time,

Speaker 2 but that's understandable that you would be like bamboozled by that.

Speaker 1 I think we've all,

Speaker 2 I think we've all fallen for things that sound really obvious.

Speaker 1 But he would use the excuse, like, I'm not a big social media guy. Yeah.
Which did make sense because he wouldn't really post. It was like one picture every three or four months.

Speaker 1 So I'm like, okay, I get it. Yeah.
Makes sense. Yeah.
And I was like, whatever. It's not your fault.

Speaker 1 Don't fall victim to my ex

Speaker 2 photos that I took of him on his Tinder profile while we were together.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 like, we've both been there.

Speaker 2 They get those photos and they do what they will with them.

Speaker 1 We've been there. Oh, we're doing one more home ownership story vibe because I'm just, this is a big trend I'm seeing right now.
And I feel like this needs to be a PSA PSA of like, don't get conned.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So this next one is coming from the Too Hot Takes subreddit, one of our very own, 23 hours old, titled, Am I the Asshole for Not Wanting to Contribute Money to Home Renovations?

Speaker 1 I am so sorry this is so long, but I really need advice and I didn't know where else to go. My boyfriend, 36, and I, 32, have been together for five years.

Speaker 1 After a year of dating, he decided to sell the house he owned and and move in to an in-law suite in his mom's basement.

Speaker 1 I agreed to move in with him, but we both agreed this would be a temporary decision. Our plan was to stay there for a year before purchasing our own home together.

Speaker 1 I have my own savings and we would plan to split the down payment evenly or $60,040, depending on how much the down payment was. At the time, he made double my salary.

Speaker 1 Since then, I've been promoted and make about $20K less than him. A year later, we started shopping for a house.

Speaker 1 After multiple offers, we were constantly being outbid and decided to wait a little longer. Around this time, he started talking about the idea of buying his mom's house.
I did not want this.

Speaker 1 I've never loved the idea of living with his mom. She's not bad, but I had made it clear in the beginning that I would not invest my money in a home that wasn't completely ours.

Speaker 1 If we bought his mom's house, we'd be responsible for all of the bills while she lived in the house for free. She would also be on the deed.

Speaker 1 We would talk about this a lot, and I would always shut it down. He said he was going to do it regardless of what I wanted, and this was an opportunity that he couldn't skip out on.

Speaker 1 I told him that was fine if that's what he wanted. He could buy the house by himself, and I wouldn't be contributing.
He was well aware of this. In November 2024, it was official.

Speaker 1 He would be purchasing his mom's home. We switched living spaces.
We moved upstairs to the main floor. His mom moved to the in-law suite.
So far, it hasn't been so bad.

Speaker 1 His plan is to purchase the house for what his mom owes, and he has tossed around the idea of adding an addition to the house with a garage and an extra living space above the garage.

Speaker 1 Or build a standalone garage on the property and remodel the inside of the house, update a kitchen, knock down a wall, installing central air, new flooring, updated bathroom.

Speaker 1 Here's where I may be the asshole. Two days ago, he mentioned the house and the renovations.
He asked me if I was willing to contribute any of my savings to the cost, estimating around 150 to 200K.

Speaker 1 I told him no, since my name was not going to be on the deed. His reply was that it wasn't fair that I would get to enjoy all of the renovations and not contribute to any of it.

Speaker 1 I told him I'd pay to live there. I would help pay for utilities and help with the mortgage, but I wasn't going to deplete my savings for capital investment I would never financially benefit from.

Speaker 1 If he were to sell the house in the future, I would never get any of that money back. He told me that I wanted specific renovations done, a sliding door with a new deck off the kitchen.

Speaker 1 But when I mentioned that I thought that would be nice, his reply was that he was thinking of doing the same thing. So I assumed it was something he also wanted.

Speaker 1 After a few minutes of him going on about it, I told him whether I was living in the house or not, he would still get to enjoy the renovations.

Speaker 1 And I didn't think it was fair that he would expect me to give him a larger sum of money for a house that belongs to him and his mom, but not me.

Speaker 1 He said I was a huge asshole and hasn't spoken to me since.

Speaker 1 We are not married. He knows I want marriage.
We both agreed if we ever did get married, we would get a prenup.

Speaker 1 Whatever is his before the marriage would stay his, whatever was mine would stay mine, and whatever was ours would be ours.

Speaker 1 But if he owns the house without me and something were to happen to to our relationship, then he would have no legal obligation to pay me back.

Speaker 1 I need to know, am I wrong for thinking this way? I've never asked him for anything. I pay my share to live there and I pay my own bills.

Speaker 1 I buy all of the groceries for the house with little to no help from him. I cook, clean, do all the laundry, and take care of his dog 75% of the time, again, with little to no help from him.

Speaker 1 I work full time and recently went back to school and earned earned a master's degree.

Speaker 1 I just don't understand why he would expect me to dish out money on house renovations that legally don't belong to me.

Speaker 1 If I would go through with funding a renovation, is there a way around this where he would be obligated to pay me back if the relationship would go south? Any advice would be helpful.

Speaker 2 $100,000 to $200,000 is crazy. Like, She is paying rent.
She's helping him pay his mortgage, which is already like a very good situation for him. Huge.

Speaker 2 Like he doesn't have to pay the entire mortgage on a house that's completely in his name.

Speaker 1 And his mom's not paying anything.

Speaker 2 His mom doesn't have to pay anything and she gets to live there.

Speaker 1 And she's still on the deed.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 And the girlfriend is buying the groceries.

Speaker 2 I mean, it sounds like he's made other comments about making up for her, you know, living there, which I understand like that she is living there and like her paying for some things makes a lot of sense.

Speaker 2 But like he has a great situation here.

Speaker 2 And to have like basically your landlord say you need to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars for my house's renovations, which is basically what this is here, is an insane ask.

Speaker 2 Like that is for your home. It's your home.
And she already compromised. She didn't want to live there.

Speaker 1 He

Speaker 1 said

Speaker 1 after they had plans to buy a house together. Yeah.
We're building a life together. Let's go in 50-50, 60-40, whatever it is together on a house.

Speaker 1 You You know what? I'm going to buy my mom's place with or without you. Don't care.
Don't care what you want. Yeah.
This is someone who, quite literally, in his head,

Speaker 1 doesn't like it. I don't care what you want.
I'm going to do what I want regardless. That's not a partner.

Speaker 1 You're already like on such different wavelengths. And then for him to be like, well, you're going to benefit from the updated kitchen.
Yeah, while I live here and use it, but if we break up, no.

Speaker 1 If you have a house and your house costs 150K, right?

Speaker 1 And you put 50K into it to update a kitchen and a bathroom,

Speaker 1 you're not just at 200K. Your house might be worth 400K.

Speaker 1 Is he going to split that equity when he sells? Or is he going to buy her out? Is this going to be a loan with interest?

Speaker 2 It doesn't sound like he's open to that being the case.

Speaker 1 Go take out a home equity line of credit, my guy.

Speaker 1 Go put this against the value of the home you own.

Speaker 1 That's fair. You're the one that's going to benefit from this.
Okay, if she wants a fancy Japanese soaking tub, maybe she can contribute to that. Yeah.
She's the only one using the tub.

Speaker 1 That's something that might make sense.

Speaker 1 But a deck and a sliding door,

Speaker 1 this is not how this works. Like she's paying the mortgage.
She's contributing so much. And that's, that's, that's even generous in my eyes, to be honest.

Speaker 2 That's more than enough. And also at the same time, like, she's taking care of the groceries, the cooking, the cleaning, your dog.
Like, and all the while, like, this is paying off your mortgage.

Speaker 2 It's only in you and your mom's name. Like, you aren't married.

Speaker 1 Like, and if they do get married, they'll get a prenup.

Speaker 1 The house will be his regardless of how long they're together, which again is fair if that's, you know, what it is, but she's not investing money then.

Speaker 2 But she's never wanted to live here. It was a compromise to even live there.
Like, now he's just expecting she got her to give in, and now he's expecting her to give in more and more and more.

Speaker 2 And the amount too is crazy. The hundreds of thousands of dollars is insane to expect of someone who does not have any ownership of that house.

Speaker 1 Well, and it's like, would he be putting any into the renovation? Because, like, 150 to 200K, like, that's a lot. That sounds like the entire renovation.
Yeah. So, like, it does.

Speaker 1 What is he contributing? Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I recognize like this is a gift, like, being able to just buy out your mom's house for paying the rest of the mortgage, like, that is a gift.

Speaker 1 But also, at the end of the day, like, if the mom kept the house forever,

Speaker 1 that would have been his inheritance, kind of regardless.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'm kind of confused about the details of that. Like, I'm so curious.
So, she owned the house,

Speaker 1 owned the house,

Speaker 1 owed like maybe 100K or whatever, left.

Speaker 1 He just has to take over the mortgage, and then it's also he gets to keep living there.

Speaker 2 Yeah, which sounds like a great deal for him and his mom. I understand why he would want to do that.
Like, that's an incredible price to pay to buy a home and you get to live with your mom.

Speaker 1 Like, that's awesome. I would love to do that too.

Speaker 2 But if I had a partner to consider and we were talking about doing something together and then to ask them for mortgage payments and groceries and cooking and cleaning and taking care of the dog and hundreds of thousands of dollars renovations, like, no.

Speaker 1 It's almost like he just looks at her like a little sugar mama. Like, this is someone that just subsidizes the life I want to have and live.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And maybe he could have done it on his own and taken over the mortgage, and that's cool. I think you should let him.

Speaker 1 I think you should let him.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he has an incredible situation right now. He got like a very good deal on buying a house, and his girlfriend is paying, helping him pay off the mortgage for it.
Huh?

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, take, take the trash out. Take it out.
Take it out. No comments from OP, but this is just, you know, 23 hours old.
So we'll keep our eyes peeled.

Speaker 1 Very active

Speaker 1 previously in the Two Hot Takes subreddit. Really? Yeah, there's a post.

Speaker 1 Someone posted this on our subreddit and goes, in honor of the coconut story, I present to you the Jolly Rancher story. So if you do want to learn about the Jolly Rancher story, it is on Patreon.

Speaker 1 I read it with my mom and my little brother, and

Speaker 1 it got quite the reaction. But I'm warning you,

Speaker 1 I did that one, and I did the Dorito story on Patreon. You guys couldn't handle the coconut story here, really.
Some of you can. Some of you cannot.

Speaker 1 I posted a picture of my Instagram the other day with like a coconut, and people were like, I'm traumatized. Trigger warning.
And I'm like, it's okay. It's just, it's a drink.
I loved it.

Speaker 1 But it had a big hole in it. And I think people were a little scarred.

Speaker 1 And so OP did comment on that though, and goes, You are right. I didn't think something could be this bad.
This is way worse than the coconut story. Wow,

Speaker 1 so don't worry, not reading Jolly Rancher today, but she's around, like, she's listening. Yeah, she's seeing.

Speaker 2 Actually, I made a Reddit account last week, and one of the suggested pages to follow is Two Hot Takes.

Speaker 1 Let's go!

Speaker 2 And it was like all these very general subjects, and then two hot takes.

Speaker 1 And I was like, Okay, I see you, Morgan.

Speaker 1 Let's go.

Speaker 1 I love that.

Speaker 1 Ah, okay. Yay.
Yeah, we out here. We out here, fam.
Making our mark on the world, helping people one post at a time.

Speaker 1 And people did help, OP. Top comment on this post.

Speaker 1 This is not the guy for you. Five years and he buys a house against what you wanted.
That's not what a guy who loves you, wants to make you happy, and wants to build a life with you does.

Speaker 1 He's not forging a partnership with you. He's just with you.
That's it.

Speaker 2 That's a really good way to put it.

Speaker 1 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 You aren't the asshole. Why would you put your own money into something you have zero equity in? He's the asshole for expecting you to pay for the renovations.
Agree.

Speaker 1 You sound like a pot of money to him, not a partner to share life with.

Speaker 2 Yeah, if I go to Raising Canes and they're like, you know what? We want to we want to build a new iced tea machine and you're going to benefit from it, so you should chip in.

Speaker 2 I'd be like, well, but it's your iced tea machine. Yes, I'll benefit from it, but it's not mine.

Speaker 1 I'm actually paying for the iced tea. Yeah, and that follows.

Speaker 2 Like, she's paying for the house.

Speaker 1 And you're the one that's gonna profit off continued sales of the iced tea. Not me.
Yeah. Well, then, no, I'm not contributing.

Speaker 2 Hmm. The iced tea machine's already good enough, too.

Speaker 1 No. OP, I want an update on this, though.
So if you're out there listening, come back, let us know. But moving along.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'm so interested to see if she responds to you.

Speaker 1 I'm sure she will. I'm so curious.
Also, I forgot to to call and make my dirt order. Your dirt order? I was supposed to call and give dirt.
Huh?

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Speaker 1 it's a homeowner thing, but I wouldn't charge you for my dirt. Right, right.
Because you won't benefit from the dirt.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I mean, even if I go to your house and I'm like, wow, it really boosts my mood to see this nice dirt.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you could build sand castles if you want. Yeah.
I won't charge you.

Speaker 1 Still won't charge you.

Speaker 2 You're unbelievably generous in ways that people can't dream of.

Speaker 1 Trigger warning, though, on this next one, friends. It does contain talks of abusive parents.
I'm not sure exactly what we're getting into, but could maybe include essay.

Speaker 1 So if you can't handle that today, please skip ahead. Markers will be in the description.
Okay, so this next one, also coming from our Too Hot Takes subreddit.

Speaker 1 It is titled, My 22 Male Girlfriend, 23 Female, is secretly secretly visiting my abusive parents with our son, 3 male, and doesn't understand why this upset me.

Speaker 1 We had a huge fight, and I don't know what to do now.

Speaker 1 I didn't have an easy time growing up. My childhood was so fucked up that I sort of just put it all in a mental box and left it at that.

Speaker 1 Needless to say, I left my parents as soon as I could and then went no contact and haven't seen them since.

Speaker 1 There's several reasons I went no contact, and my girlfriend seemed understanding enough when I told her her that I didn't even want to tell my parents about their grandson.

Speaker 1 I don't want my son around these people. I don't want my girlfriend around these people.
And above all, I would never leave any child alone around these people.

Speaker 1 My girlfriend doesn't know about what exactly my father did to me and my sister, but I also feel like she doesn't have to know in order to respect my wishes.

Speaker 1 Yesterday, my sister texted me a picture of our parents' dog. In the background was my son's shoes.

Speaker 1 Our mother uploaded it on Facebook where I have them blocked, but my sister recognized the shoes, though mainly was concerned about them even having a kid over.

Speaker 1 My girlfriend and I both work, she only part-time, but we have always had someone to watch our child, either my sister or my girlfriend's family.

Speaker 1 So it's not like she has had to bring him there to have someone watch him. This was a deliberate decision that she should have made with me.

Speaker 1 I talked to my son about it and turns out he's been there several times unsupervised, alone with my father.

Speaker 1 Apparently, nothing happened, but I was understandably angry and confronted my girlfriend as soon as she was back home, which of course led to a huge fight.

Speaker 1 She left crying and went to her parents' house, and later her mother came to pick up my son, which I refused, which led to a fight with her mom too.

Speaker 1 My girlfriend texted me asking to talk later today, and I know I can't keep my son from her. I also don't want to, but I don't want to go into our conversation unprepared, so any advice is welcome.

Speaker 1 I also feel betrayed and still very angry, and I'm honestly ready to break up over this.

Speaker 1 But my son is very upset and anxious because he heard our fight, and I'm just at a complete loss, and I don't know how to handle this.

Speaker 1 Please help.

Speaker 2 Obviously, this is like a very tough story. The one shining light is that he found out out before it seems like anything happened and like that this has been brought to light before

Speaker 2 you know anything like worse has taken place you know yeah but this is just like so messed up and

Speaker 2 yeah like she doesn't know I guess the extent of it but I think you can tell from like how

Speaker 2 from how like vehemently he's probably said it to her and like just from like the subtext and the context clues of like, it's a really bad situation.

Speaker 2 Like, I think it's clear that this isn't just a situation where he doesn't get along with his parents or like, you know, he just doesn't vibe with them.

Speaker 2 Like, I think it's pretty obvious that it was a serious thing.

Speaker 2 I don't, like, I just can't believe she would do that behind his back and not even talk to him about it.

Speaker 1 That's insane. Yeah.
This is a baby. This is a three-year-old who we don't even know how long he's been going over there.
Yeah. Communication levels aren't that great at three.

Speaker 1 If something happened, would he even be able to know it's bad or communicate with you that it happened?

Speaker 1 This is insane. This lady is straight garbage.

Speaker 1 To not talk with your partner, how did one, how do they get in communication? Yeah.

Speaker 1 How did you even feel comfortable to leave your kid alone over there? Your partner has said to you, I don't have a relationship with my parents. I'm no contact with them.

Speaker 1 I have them blocked everywhere.

Speaker 1 What happened when I was a kid was terrible.

Speaker 1 End of story, lady. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Do you not

Speaker 1 are you that fucking dumb?

Speaker 2 Even to like bring it up as a conversation with him of like wanting to go see his parents would be like disrespectful, but to not even bring it up and to just do it behind his back.

Speaker 1 That is insane. This is you're just not protecting your kid

Speaker 1 for what? Yeah.

Speaker 2 like that, really, for what? Like, what is she gaining out of that? Like, what even is like, she has other people to bring the kid to. Like,

Speaker 2 could it be a misguided like, oh, I want to repair their relationship because I don't know how bad it is.

Speaker 1 It's not your responsibility.

Speaker 2 And also, have a little bit of sense of like, this is a serious situation. I'm putting my child in danger and disrespecting my partner.
Not just disrespecting. I don't even know what the word is.

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 1 but worse.

Speaker 1 Deliberately going against

Speaker 1 probably the very core of your partner. Yeah.
At the expense of your child.

Speaker 1 Like, OP was like, my dad shouldn't even be around kids. Like, after what he did to me and my sister.
Like,

Speaker 2 yeah.

Speaker 1 What the dude? Trash, throw away. Throw away.
And people are going to be like, oh, give her a chance. She's lying and putting her kid at risk.
Yeah. Like, no,

Speaker 1 no.

Speaker 2 Did we get any updates with this one? Like, I'm gonna not sleep.

Speaker 1 Let's get into the comments and let's see what we got here.

Speaker 1 So, top comment was deleted. It was removed by a moderator.
OP did respond to it, though. So, I'm just gonna read what OP says, even though I don't know what the top comment at the time was.

Speaker 1 I panicked when he said it was something he wasn't supposed to say. She apparently told him it was a surprise, and that's why he had to say he was at her parents.
parents.

Speaker 2 A surprise?

Speaker 1 So she instructed the three-year-old kid to lie about where he was. And

Speaker 2 what does she gain out of this? I'm very confused about why she's invested in even doing this.

Speaker 1 Are they giving her money? Like, genuinely, like, are they giving her money? Are they paying her?

Speaker 2 I don't understand.

Speaker 2 Clearly, they've or I don't know who contacted who first, but clearly they've been having some kind of communication without his his knowledge where

Speaker 2 things are being said that are probably not accurate to the truth of the situation.

Speaker 2 And like conversations that he should be a part, not even he should be a part of, because they just shouldn't be happening in general.

Speaker 1 But why are you going to make a three-year-old lie for you? Yeah. Oh, you have to say you're at my parents, grandma and grandpa, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 2 And when instructing him to do that, how does she not realize, wait, like, I might be wrong if I'm having to do something like this?

Speaker 1 O.P. goes on to say, I wouldn't have been this upset had she cheated on me, but she involved him, made him keep a secret, and put him at risk.

Speaker 1 And the more I've been thinking about this, the more I feel like I just can't trust her anymore, especially if something did happen and he just doesn't realize and I haven't asked the right questions or he doesn't have the vocabulary.

Speaker 2 It's very scary for him to be like, I don't know if I can trust having my kid around the mother of my kid now.

Speaker 2 Like he, he's scared about leaving him with her, and he's scared that she doesn't have the sense to like make decisions to protect him and like not only makes decisions to protect him, but makes decisions that put him in harm's way.

Speaker 2 Like it's it's a lot at once to be worried about.

Speaker 1 I'm blown away. I'm absolutely blown away.
And we have a lot of comments from OP.

Speaker 1 There's just, there's so many. So I will be sure to put the links in the description.
So if you really want to go deeper than what I can get into, they're there.

Speaker 1 Someone does comment, on one hand, if she doesn't know the whole story, I can appreciate why she would want to try to foster a relationship. But on the other, she's betrayed you.

Speaker 1 And further, why does she need a secret babysitter? It kind of seems like maybe there's more to this if she was leaving him with them.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And OP goes, even without the whole story, I always felt like she knew enough about my childhood. I can understand it too.

Speaker 1 Her mother also told me not to hold grudges, and my father apparently has issues with his liver. Wonder where that's coming from.
So I should just take the first step and forgive them.

Speaker 1 But this is my decision, and she kept it a secret for months and essentially told my son to lie to me. I was so angry, I didn't even think about any other reason why she would leave him there.

Speaker 1 But you're right. I mean, I just kind of assumed that she would visit them to rebuild that relationship because we have babysitters.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 So it sounds like the father is being like, I'm dying soon and I want to have a relationship with my grandchild, but he's only contacting her because obviously the father is never going to like

Speaker 2 forgive him and let him have that relationship. He's not entitled to that relationship.
He can't be trusted.

Speaker 2 Did they ever update on like if they've now had that conversation with sorry, I guess it's a girlfriend, right? Not yeah.

Speaker 2 If they've had a conversation with the girlfriend about what happened and like her apologizing and saying she feels bad and like won't do it again.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So there

Speaker 1 are a couple more comments and we do end up getting an update. Okay.
Update is coming five days after the original post. And this is really, really recent.

Speaker 1 The original post is only 11 days old. But a lot of people are trying to be like, you need to address custody.
You need to address supervised visitations. You need, you need to really get after this.

Speaker 1 A lot of people are also like, do you have documents of the abuse from your parents?

Speaker 1 Yeah, my sister and I have no proof of what happened.

Speaker 1 And she wanted to get financial aid because of her PTSD because it makes it harder for her to work, but her lawyer said it would be hard to get anyone to believe her slash us.

Speaker 1 She gave up on that eventually.

Speaker 1 Someone also points out this fact that she taught your son not to trust you.

Speaker 1 That would be a reason to drag her ass to court for a custody agreement where she also has to sign that she will never go to your parents behind your back with him.

Speaker 2 That should also just be something a normal person would agree to without having to go to court over it.

Speaker 2 Like, it sucks that it's even at that point where he would have to get a judge to tell her she can't. Like, she should just be like, oh my God, I had no idea.
I'm so sorry. I don't.

Speaker 2 Like, I'm really fucked up here.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 And, like, that still wouldn't make it okay, but at least, like, he wouldn't have to be so scared going forward.

Speaker 1 Like, fall on the sword a little bit, lady. Yeah.
Like

Speaker 1 you would rather,

Speaker 1 again, just begs the question why and for what? Because you would rather lose your partner and put your child at risk of lifelong damage, PTSD.

Speaker 1 For what? What?

Speaker 2 For a relationship with people that aren't even your parents?

Speaker 1 Like being a neglectful,

Speaker 1 terrible,

Speaker 1 okay, that might, no, no. She is being a bad parent.
Well, yeah. I'm like, some people might come for me on that, but like, no, honestly, maybe that's a hot, maybe it's a hot take for some people.

Speaker 1 Like, give her, oh, she's not that bad. Give her the benefit.
No, like she knows. And now she especially knows.
But let's see if she apologizes in this update. Let's, let's see what we get into here.

Speaker 1 First of all, thank you for all the comments and input. I didn't feel like I could even think when I made my initial post, so it was good getting different perspectives.
This will be a long post.

Speaker 1 I'll put a TLDR at the bottom. I did write that my girlfriend and I would talk the same day I posted, but we didn't because I needed to sort myself out, and I think she did too.

Speaker 1 She's been avoiding me ever since and requested we talk at her parents' place, but I didn't want that, so we didn't get to talk until yesterday while my son was at my sister's.

Speaker 1 Apparently, in September last year, my mother reached out to my girlfriend on Facebook, asking how me and my son were doing. My mother is a very intelligent woman, but highly manipulative.

Speaker 1 She convinced my girlfriend to visit them because my father is ill. My girlfriend said she didn't tell me because she knew I'd say no and she wanted to see what kind of people my parents were.

Speaker 1 She brought our son but didn't leave him alone at first, but their visits got fairly regular and she became comfortable with leaving him with my parents. He seemed fine, even seemed to like it there.

Speaker 1 So she didn't feel like he was in danger. The first time she left my son fully alone was when she went Christmas shopping.

Speaker 1 I think from what I told her about my childhood home, she expected a house of horrors, but according to her, the place was clean and fixed up, the dog was healthy, and my parents were nice.

Speaker 1 The thing is that she knew something happened to my sister. I never told her what happened to me, which I now see I probably should have done.

Speaker 1 She doesn't see predators everywhere like I do, and when my son didn't report anything negative, she saw no issue taking him and leaving him there.

Speaker 1 It's pretty clear that she doesn't know anything about abuse and what it can look look like. I don't understand how she could think she'd be able to spot the signs with this little knowledge.

Speaker 1 My father has been in contact with children most of my life, and while I don't know if he's done anything to them, my sister always said he knew how to make children feel at ease.

Speaker 1 Both my parents are very methodical and calculating, so I don't blame her for believing them, but I blame her for not discussing this with me.

Speaker 1 She went to visit them after talking to my mother for a few days. Meanwhile, I've lived with them there for 17 years, and somehow she thought she knew better than me.

Speaker 1 Even when I told her some details about my childhood, she still tried to push supervised visits, saying my father was ill and my son had a right to meet his grandparents, which I don't agree with at all.

Speaker 1 The thought of children being around those people makes me sick, but she seems reluctant to agree to officially limit their visitation rights.

Speaker 1 I'd need her agreement, however, unless I won a court case. I I also tried to explain why this felt like a betrayal because this is not just about her putting my son in danger.

Speaker 1 It's also about her going behind my back for months.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 September to March, you guys. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 1 that's almost like half a year. It's not, what's

Speaker 1 it's half a year.

Speaker 1 November, December, January. Six months? Seven months? Yeah, seven months.
Seven months. Like, that's not just like, okay, I tried it for a month and okay, now it's beat.

Speaker 1 seven months?

Speaker 1 Insane. What else would she be capable of? Then she told my son to keep the visits a secret, which is exactly what abusers say too.

Speaker 1 She did apologize, saying she made an honest mistake and feels like I'm blowing this out of proportion and that her parents think so too.

Speaker 1 Guess what? Doesn't fucking matter what her parents think.

Speaker 2 Yeah, none of these people know the situation as well as he does. Why do they think their opinion is more important?

Speaker 1 Besides, our son is fine, and I shouldn't have raised my voice at her mother and should be more grateful for what her parents have done for me and us over the years, which I am.

Speaker 1 I owe them, sure, but that doesn't mean they can just overrule my parenting decisions or get so involved.

Speaker 1 I feel like neither her nor her parents trust me or take me seriously, and it's so frustrating when the mother of your son is pretty much actively working against you.

Speaker 1 I don't think she can even grasp how terrified I was when I talked to my son about their visits.

Speaker 1 Again, I know it's my fault for not telling her everything, but I never thought she would do something like that. My past never really affected me much, anyways.

Speaker 1 I never felt like there was a reason for her to know all of the details. Honestly, I don't know if anything is resolved.

Speaker 1 I know why she made the choices she made, but I don't feel like she understands why I was and still am upset.

Speaker 1 She left after bringing up her mother because I got angry and I know I shouldn't have, but I reveal something so big and just still don't get taken seriously.

Speaker 1 I want us to work, and she agreed that it would take a lot of work to get back to us before all of this, which I'm not sure is even possible. I apparently deeply upset her and scared our son.

Speaker 1 True, I never wanted us to fight in front of him like that either. And I angered her family.
I think for me emotionally, all feelings for her vanished the moment I found out.

Speaker 1 So that's kind of where I'm at now. I wish we could make it work for his sake, but I don't want him to grow up with dysfunctional parents or with his parents fighting every day.

Speaker 1 So if this doesn't work out, I'll need to get a lawyer. I'm willing to put in the work needed for us to stay together, but I've been doing a lot of thinking.

Speaker 1 We were so young when we started dating and had our son, I'm not sure if I ever thought about us staying together forever.

Speaker 1 I only stayed because I was living with them, and then I stayed because I didn't want to be a shitty teen dad, abandoning my son and the girl I loved. Because I really did love her, I think.

Speaker 1 Also, I am partially responsible for her being pregnant in the first place, before he was even born. As for my son, I have talked a lot with him these past few days.

Speaker 1 I had taught him about touch and what's okay and what isn't, so I just hope it's true that nothing happened. He has also apparently not seen anything inappropriate.

Speaker 1 Our fight got to him, though, and he knows I was sad. He knows his mom is sad too, and I hope him and I talked it out enough and that my girlfriend gets to talk about it with him too.

Speaker 1 We might just sit him down or something. I'll need to talk to her about that.

Speaker 2 Yeah, their ages.

Speaker 2 I like thought about their ages when we first started the story and then that didn't come up again. But yeah, they were what, like 19 and 20 when they first had their son.

Speaker 2 So this is definitely like a very

Speaker 2 young relationship.

Speaker 2 It's hard because like when I even want to start to be like, I guess there's a chance that like she's young, and like, they manipulated her and made him, made her think that, like, the father, the grandfather's dying, and it's her only chance to see him.

Speaker 2 But she just, like, ruins any chance of redemption by still not getting it, by not, like,

Speaker 2 understanding now, even after he's told her why it's such a big deal. Like,

Speaker 2 there are just so many elements here where it's like, even if there was a chance for this to just have been some huge, terrible mistake, she's not even recognizing that. Like, she's still not

Speaker 2 like, I guess she kind of apologized, but then she said, but I don't understand why you're so mad.

Speaker 1 Like, yeah, there's still like a brush off versus a true, genuine,

Speaker 1 I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 I really fucked up.

Speaker 1 I was wrong.

Speaker 2 I shouldn't have like gone behind your back. I shouldn't have told him to lie.
Like, I, I am ignorant. I, I didn't see the signs.
I don't know why I thought I could.

Speaker 2 Like, I didn't understand the scope of what happened to you. Like,

Speaker 2 there are potentially things she could have said had she realized the gravity of the situation that could have made it possible for them to repair things, maybe. Yeah.

Speaker 2 But that's not even a little bit happening.

Speaker 1 No, and I think it's really,

Speaker 1 I guess like it's kind of naive for her too to be like, well, you know, we went over there a couple of times and the first few times he said he had fun. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Of course they're going to make him feel safe.

Speaker 2 It's not going to happen the first time that he comes over.

Speaker 1 Likely not. But if you look at the stats of like children that, and this is, I'm sorry, you guys, this is a little bit of a darker story, but I do think it's important to address.
Like,

Speaker 1 if you do look at the stats of people that hurt kids, it's people they know.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's family members who seem fine. They seem very nice.
Like to call, to say that they seem fine because they were very nice is just such a naive thing to say. Like anybody can seem nice.

Speaker 1 It's a mirror could seem nice.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and they usually do. Like it's very easy.

Speaker 2 All people who do these things, yeah, some might have an obviously rancid vibe, but most people can make themselves appear very nice, especially the ones who are really good at it. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And I think it's also a good moment of him, like,

Speaker 2 talking to his son about what bad touches are. And, like, I think it's that can get lost sometimes.

Speaker 2 in conversations we have about like schools and stuff like that of people being like oh don't talk to my kids about that like don't tell them what that is i think it's really important for kids to know that i think it can really help them out in situations to be armed with the information of what a good touch is and what a bad touch is, even

Speaker 2 though they are very young. And of course, it's uncomfortable because you never want to think that your child would be exposed to that in any way.
But no, but it's a good conversation to have.

Speaker 2 And I think that's also something to take from this story.

Speaker 1 It absolutely needs to be had. Like, this is why my brother and his wife have always talked with their kids, like, very openly about body parts.

Speaker 1 They've never like given body parts like names, like, oh, you're cookie, or things like that, because that can actually hurt your kids in making sure they're safe against these kind of things. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And obviously, you have it in age-appropriate ways, right?

Speaker 1 But I'm also wondering, because OP does have a comment here giving a little bit more detail about what the girlfriend knew, because people are being like, she didn't know. You never told her.

Speaker 1 You never like, and it's like, but he cut, he did. So he does provide that context and he goes, her and I have talked about my childhood prior to my first post.

Speaker 1 She knows enough about my living conditions to know it was unsafe for any child. She knows my father is a violent alcoholic and she knows a lot about the crazy shit my mother pulled over the years.

Speaker 1 She knows my sister has a PTSD diagnosis and she knows my father touched her. This

Speaker 1 is everything she knew. And I honestly think that should have been enough.
Her parents also know about most of this. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I'm wondering if because she thinks she has has a son, if it's different.

Speaker 2 Absolutely.

Speaker 1 Like, would you leave a three-year-old, your little daughter there?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And if the answer for that is no, you shouldn't leave a little boy there either.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because

Speaker 1 sick, twisted, despicable people

Speaker 1 a lot of times don't give a fuck.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 And it sounds like she very much oversimplified it and was like, oh, he said the living conditions were so bad, but when I went, it was clean. So

Speaker 2 he must have changed. Like, they must have changed.
They must be so great now. I can leave my son there.
Like, it's just, it's, it's so

Speaker 2 dangerous to have someone like that making decisions for a three-year-old's life. Like, that's very scary.

Speaker 1 It's absurd to me.

Speaker 2 And also, what's so dangerous is her thinking that she knows. Like, just her, like, over confidence in the issue and her over,

Speaker 2 I don't know, just like the fact that she thinks she knows better than him about his own family enough to make that decision.

Speaker 1 It's so weird. Yeah.
It's so weird. Well, I hope we get an update from OP.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm like, this is just

Speaker 1 wild.

Speaker 2 I mean, the bare minimum is her saying she'll never do it again. And it's unfortunate that we still haven't gotten that from her.

Speaker 1 No. And I don't know if you can trust her.

Speaker 1 I think unfortunately, like, you do need to.

Speaker 2 Even if she said it.

Speaker 1 I think you need to get get a custody agreement in place. I think you need to get a lawyer.

Speaker 1 I think this kid needs to be protected from these people. And his dad is only one person.
Like, he's got another parent.

Speaker 1 And unfortunately, if mom wants to take him over there, like when they break up, she could do that if he doesn't get something in place. Yeah.
So, time to lawyer up. I mean,

Speaker 1 it's a little three-year-old. There's a little baby.
I know. And if mom is going to be

Speaker 1 insane, garbage,

Speaker 1 just get it in writing. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But moving along.

Speaker 1 That was a tough one. It was a tough one.

Speaker 2 You were really brave for also how much you had to speak.

Speaker 1 I know it was a lot of reading. It was a lot of reading.
But there's so many stories. Like, I think there's, are those tough ones to read? Yeah.
Like, does everyone want to hear them? No.

Speaker 1 But, like, if it opens people's eyes and like makes sure people are like safer with their kids or, you know, like, they're they're important conversations to have sometimes.

Speaker 2 Yeah, if you're comfortable talking about stranger danger and like, hey, don't get in that car, like you can have that conversation too,

Speaker 2 which you should be for sure.

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Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 moving on to this next one.

Speaker 1 It is titled, Am I the Asshole for Setting Limits to Do Some of the Housework slash Chores When I've Just Been Diagnosed with Cancer? Oh my God, okay.

Speaker 1 I am a 41-year-old female married to a 48-year-old male. We've been married for almost 13 years and have three kids, 10, 9 with autism, and 4.

Speaker 1 We have settled in a typical gender roles like I cook, clean, do laundry, grocery shop weekly, and take care of the kids, like taking them to all their appointments, picking them up from school if they are sick, and taking the day off of work if they are sick.

Speaker 1 He does the outside stuff, trash, landscaping, and shoveling, for example.

Speaker 1 Over time, though, he is doing less of the outside stuff, and I find myself taking over those roles, taking out the recycling or bringing in the bins, because it will just pile up or stay outside for a week.

Speaker 1 Or he has outsourced them, landscaper, so he no longer does these chores while I still do all of my wifely duties.

Speaker 1 My husband's main responsibility in the morning is that he gets the kids ready and sends them to school on the bus. He then goes downstairs to work from home.

Speaker 1 When I come home from my full-time job, the house is a disaster from the morning routine. I asked him to at least do dishes, but he said he doesn't have time.

Speaker 1 So I have to clean the house all while I get the kids off the bus in the afternoon. This has been the normal routine for the past year.

Speaker 1 I also have a part-time job on the weekends as well, five hours each day. It's great for extra money and has afforded us a down payment for our house and several trips to Disney.

Speaker 1 He hates when I work because he has to watch the kids by himself. The point of saying all of this is that I was diagnosed with stage two breast cancer in early January.

Speaker 1 So I realized that I need to slow down and can't do everything that I've been doing. And he needs to step up.

Speaker 1 When I told him this, he says he does not feel this way and he is doing plenty.

Speaker 1 I know right now I am able to do things, but I will be starting chemotherapy soon, end of February, beginning of March, and I am not sure how I will feel.

Speaker 1 I am going to take time out from both jobs because of this.

Speaker 1 My husband is under the assumption that I will be sick for a few days where he has to do everything, but I will be able to continue doing my routine once I'm feeling better.

Speaker 1 I've already told him, don't expect it, and I will do what I can, but he is not convinced. I am willing to continue to do some of the chores, but not everything that I have been doing.

Speaker 1 Am I the asshole for expecting my husband to pick up the slack while I'm going through cancer?

Speaker 2 Okay, wait, why does he think it's going to be two to three days of sickness? Does he have any knowledge of the world?

Speaker 1 Like, there's what?

Speaker 2 Who has ever only been sick for two to three days because of cancer

Speaker 2 and chemotherapy?

Speaker 1 Throw them away. Throw them away.
Take the trash out. Throw them away.
Divorce. Divorce, divorce, divorce.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Hear me out for a second, everyone.

Speaker 1 Let's take cancer out of this. Okay.
Yeah. Take the cancer out.

Speaker 2 Yeah, even without the cancer. Yeah.

Speaker 1 This woman has a full-time job and a part-time job. Yes.
He works from home, which I'm sorry, like the freedom and like the stuff you can do when you work from home. Absolutely.

Speaker 1 It's very different than going in full-time hours to an office.

Speaker 1 He gets the kids up in the morning. They create utter chaos.
He can't contain them. He probably leaves them to their own devices and says, get yourself ready and then let's get you on the bus.

Speaker 1 And he can't even do the dishes while he works from home because he doesn't have time. You still get a lunch break, my good sir.

Speaker 1 Put a couple dishes in the dishwasher. Like, why are you letting your kids run amok? I'm sure you haven't started work yet.
You're getting them ready. Like, be a more present parent.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 He hates when I work because he has to watch the kids by himself.

Speaker 1 Okay, you wanted to be a parent, no? You signed up for three kids too, yeah.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 2 It sounds like he just in many situations says even if she gives him a task, he just doesn't do it and then she ends up doing it. So he kind of gets away with it.
It's kind of like,

Speaker 2 well, it's weaponized incompetence.

Speaker 1 Oh, 100% weaponized incompetence.

Speaker 2 But even in the situation with cancer, it's like he could say that he's going to be taking up this other work and these other tasks, but also he's outsourcing his jobs.

Speaker 2 But like now she's picking up an extra job for more spending money, but also the spending money is going toward the stuff he used to do. I don't, yeah, even without the cancer.

Speaker 2 And I think it's important to point that out. Like, this is not an okay situation.

Speaker 1 Now add in cancer. Yeah.
And how much worse does this get?

Speaker 2 And it really shows you, like, that type of partner, what they're going to be like when things get rough and when, like, you actually have to show up for somebody.

Speaker 1 Because he wasn't doing it before. Why would he do it now? No, he can't do it now.
Like, this is insane to me.

Speaker 1 I'm, I'm sitting here and I'm just like dumbstruck. I'm truly dumbstruck that this man is like, oh, well, it's only going to be a couple of days.

Speaker 1 If I got cancer and my partner isn't like, you're not doing anything. What can I do? How, how can I help you? How can I make sure you're feeling good? Like,

Speaker 1 not

Speaker 2 a single mention of him being like worried about her, about him being scared for her, about like, you know, he's not doing this, but he is emotionally been really there for me during this time.

Speaker 2 Like, there's just nothing.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 I

Speaker 1 would not be able to stay in a relationship like this. And I think that illness is really going to highlight this for her.

Speaker 1 It's hilarious to me that people will act like this in relationships because, like, you realize she's not going to stick around forever.

Speaker 1 No one,

Speaker 1 no one, I'm going to put faith in this, that there's not anyone out there that will put up with such disrespect, unequal treatment, XYZ, et cetera, forever.

Speaker 1 She's going to realize eventually there's going to be a straw that breaks the camel's back. You get divorced, you realize you're going to have to do 100%

Speaker 1 of that 50%, right? Like when you get divorced, like you're going to have to take care of the kids without her. You're going to have to cook.
You're going to have to clean your own house.

Speaker 1 Like, I think he's gotten too comfortable. And I think he needs to be rocked out of the boat.

Speaker 1 Because at the end of the day, if you don't make this work and if you don't start being a more equal partner, you're going to have to be responsible for 100% of your shit. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You don't even like watching your kids when your wife works a couple extra hours. Yeah.

Speaker 1 How are you going to survive?

Speaker 2 Yeah, because when he works from home, the kids are at school.

Speaker 2 So all he has to do is get them ready for school.

Speaker 1 And then he can't even be bothered to do dishes.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Can't even be bothered to help cook a meal.
You're at home. You got a head start.
Start boiling the water, bitch.

Speaker 1 What are you doing?

Speaker 2 I mean, I think this is a really good example of the sentiment that certain relationships can feel lonelier than actually being alone would feel. And

Speaker 1 drop the mic, Michaela.

Speaker 2 Well, and it's very tough. It's very tough when you're in that to be like, actually, this is worse.
Actually, this is lonelier. Actually, this is more work even, like than doing it myself would be.

Speaker 1 And so I hope the comments just, I hope they eat. I'm sure they do.
I have a lot of faith in them. Okay, this one, big yellow box.

Speaker 1 Wait, your fucking husband refuses to do more after your cancer diagnosis. All caps.
He wasn't pulling his own weight before the diagnosis.

Speaker 1 And now he's expecting you to do everything while you get better from cancer. Oh, hell fucking no.
This is cause for divorce. Also, men don't help around the house.
They do their half.

Speaker 1 Do not try to keep the house clean. Do not grocery shop shop or do a load of laundry in between vomiting.
Men are more likely to leave a woman when they're sick.

Speaker 1 So be prepared for some truly assholish behavior on his part. Ignore the incels here who will drop by and pretend otherwise.
I hurt for you, OP.

Speaker 2 And if he does leave her while she's sick, or even just like this might be the moment that she realizes and

Speaker 2 really like

Speaker 2 instead of just these slowly doing more and more over time, it's like this big moment of, like, okay, actually, he does not do shit for this family.

Speaker 2 He's going to be the one who suffers when they separate. He's going to be the one who has so much more stuff to do.
She is not going to have any more stuff to do because she's already doing it all.

Speaker 1 I'm so pissed.

Speaker 4 Dad's in the background, and he says, This woman is fighting for her fucking life.

Speaker 1 Come here, you can just have a celebrity guest take. Come on over.

Speaker 2 Celebrity guest take.

Speaker 1 Walk behind over here. Here's the mic.

Speaker 1 I knew he wouldn't be able to keep quiet back there. Tell him, tell him.

Speaker 4 Unfucking believable. This woman is fighting for her life.

Speaker 4 She's trying to live. Her energy is going.
If she's going through chemo, her energy is down. She can't, she's doing whatever she can to keep her cells working.
And this guy isn't partaking.

Speaker 4 We don't need this guy. You had it right in the first place.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Knock the guy out. No doubt.
I was listening. It was very funny.
On the way here, I was listening to one of our first Patreons.

Speaker 4 I guess you guys posted him for Father Knows. And I heard a story about yelling and screaming at her kids.
This is just pure frustration. So do what you got to do to survive.

Speaker 4 And he is not part of your assistance. He is not part of your team.
He needs to be kicked off the team and let him go think about it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Absolutely. And on that note, I love you.

Speaker 1 I love you too.

Speaker 1 Bye, everybody. I told you you wouldn't like to stay.

Speaker 4 I couldn't, I couldn't keep quiet back then.

Speaker 1 There's just no freaking way.

Speaker 1 Okay. Thanks, Dad, for the brief interruption.
I do. Celebrity appearance.
Yeah, celeb appearance. I do just want to give a stat, though.
So there is a stat here because I didn't want to just like.

Speaker 1 I want to make sure people have the knowledge of that top comment and like what they actually said. So there is a study from 2009.

Speaker 1 so a couple years old, maybe things have gone better or worse, I don't know, from the Journal of Cancer that found that a married woman diagnosed with a serious disease is six times more likely to be divorced or separated than a man with a similar diagnosis.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Study revealed that 21% of seriously ill women were divorced compared to only 3% of seriously ill men.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and I've seen that recently as well.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 the researchers did suggest that men may struggle with the rapid shift to caregiver roles and may not be as adept at maintaining the home and family, while women are better at assuming those burdens.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 I think there are people and good guys and good partners out there that would not bat an eye at this.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but I think like even what he was doing before she got cancer shows which type of person he is.

Speaker 1 Totally.

Speaker 2 Unfortunately, like this is going to be his downfall because once they're separated, he is going to be doing all of the shit that right now she does.

Speaker 2 And he's going to watch the kids alone. He's going to have to clean the house for himself after he leaves.
He's going to have to make his own food.

Speaker 2 He's going to have to make their food when they're there. And you can't do the same kind of weaponizing competence when it's your own house with no one else to pick up the slack.

Speaker 2 Like, if the trash is getting overfilled, no one else is going to take it out. He's going to have to do it himself.

Speaker 1 And I'm glad. I'm glad I want him to do it himself.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 OP does have a little edit to add some details.

Speaker 1 Favorite quotes from my husband. This one is in regards to why he doesn't have time during the day to clean during breaks.
Quote: 11 a.m. is for eating, 1 p.m.

Speaker 1 is for napping, and I can probably help at 3:30 p.m.

Speaker 2 He has time for a nap?

Speaker 2 He has time for a nap?

Speaker 1 I

Speaker 1 don't.

Speaker 2 Do you know who else would love to take a nap?

Speaker 1 Your sick wife who's working two jobs.

Speaker 2 Oh my God.

Speaker 1 I don't know how some people keep their composure.

Speaker 1 I am so, I'm like, am I crazy? Like, am I crazy? I would literally rip a bag of trash open on top of him during a nap.

Speaker 2 Like, and I would support you.

Speaker 1 Am I like

Speaker 1 the way some people can keep their composure, they deserve awards.

Speaker 2 Because he just keeps taking a little bit more over time and over time. And like, actually, now this job is your job.
And actually, now this job is a landscaping company's job. And actually, like, now

Speaker 2 you're getting another job and I'm still not. And like over time, he's just done less and less and less and less.
And he's comfortable with that.

Speaker 2 And it just doesn't get done unless she does it. And that's a very commonly used tactic.

Speaker 1 This next one said to me when I wasn't doing enough in the house,

Speaker 1 you're not giving with both hands right now.

Speaker 1 Oh, brother. You want to see these hands? Catch these hands.
Catch on.

Speaker 2 Catch on. You're lucky other things aren't happening with these hands.
That is an insane thing to say.

Speaker 2 That honestly feels like what would be a quote on like a TV show that would really piss people off. And I'd be like, all right, they're pushing it.
Like, who really talks like that?

Speaker 1 Insane. We do have a couple more comments from OP.

Speaker 1 OP does have a counselor. Thank God.

Speaker 1 And she told me to discuss expectations about this situation. And that's when he said, oh, you'll only be sick for a few days.
She was not happy with that.

Speaker 1 And yes, I will reach out to family now that I know what he thinks. I feel like I am letting him and my family down.
Like I am expected to be super mom and keep it up.

Speaker 1 In a weird way, maybe cancer was my wake-up call to do this. Yes.
But damn, this is going to suck.

Speaker 2 Yeah. No, it's like horrible timing.

Speaker 2 It's, it's going to pay off for the rest of her life to separate from this man and rebuild but unfortunately the timing of it happening also when she has cancer and like really could be using that support

Speaker 2 it really sucks but like sometimes

Speaker 2 you can go through something really hard and it actually feels like thank god i'm not still with that person because even though i'm doing it alone like doing it with them would have been worse because he would have also been giving her little comments like, Why aren't you better yet?

Speaker 2 Like, are you really not going to be doing this? Like, it's the opposite

Speaker 1 of the thing. Yeah.

Speaker 1 There's some other comments that I think are really, really interesting and I'm really blown away by.

Speaker 1 So, OP is talking about her kids. They're the best kids in the world.
So smart and sweet. I would do anything for them.
My oldest.

Speaker 1 Does notice and make comments about dad being lazy. Yes.
But I also don't want her to hate him, so I keep quiet. Ugh, Taylor's oldest time.

Speaker 1 He doesn't clean up the house, dishes, make beds, or pick up toys, etc. So it leaves a mess for me.

Speaker 1 I know it sounds stupid, but I would like to come home and relax before the kids get home instead of picking up from the morning. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2 Because that's his designated time. Like, she has so many designated times.
It sounds like as soon as his only designated time is like right before they leave.

Speaker 2 And then when they get home from school and she's home, it sounds like everything is on her. All he has to do is take care of like a little bit during weekdays when they're not even home.

Speaker 2 Like he doesn't even have to be watching them.

Speaker 1 No. And he gets to take a nap.
Yeah. And then he's like, oh, I guess I can help at 3.30.
So from 1 to 3.30,

Speaker 1 he's taking a two and a half hour nap every day. The luxury.

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 1 Yeah. The luxury.
And it's also like, hey, you're the dad. Hey, kids, toys got to be picked up before we get on the bus.
Yeah. Hey, here's your five-minute warning.
The bus is coming soon.

Speaker 1 Pick up your toys.

Speaker 2 Yeah, even directing them to pick them up would be better.

Speaker 1 They're 10.

Speaker 1 The youngest is four. A four-year-old can pick up toys.
Yeah. Like, be a parent.
Don't let them run amok. Yeah.
What are you doing? Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 Loser. Loser.
Loser as fuck.

Speaker 1 I think we're going to get an update on this one, though. So we will keep our eyes peeled.
But moving along. How old was that one? This one's pretty recent, too.
It's only a month old. Oh, wow.
So.

Speaker 2 But in that last comment, she was like, this might have been the wake-up call I needed.

Speaker 1 And I think it is.

Speaker 1 I really do think it is.

Speaker 1 So we'll keep our eyes peeled.

Speaker 1 Okay, this next one. It's coming from the Tuatics Subreddit, nine days old, titled, Boyfriend Keeps Making Jokes About Our Lack of Bedroom Time.
What do I do?

Speaker 1 Hello, everyone. I really need some advice and would appreciate any that you have to give.
My, 23 female, boyfriend, 22 male, and I have been facing some problems as far as our sex life goes.

Speaker 1 For context, back in October, I had two big surgeries. These were really hard for me, as they had to go in through my back and create an incision in a major organ.

Speaker 1 It took weeks for me to heal, and I still have nerve damage as a result. On top of this, I've been taking birth control for 10 years and have a very consistent cycle.

Speaker 1 However, the anesthesia used for my surgery rendered my birth control ineffective for a month, throwing off my cycle and making my hormones fluctuate like crazy.

Speaker 1 As a result of all of this, I've been extremely sensitive and have been getting easily overstimulated when it comes to intimacy in the bedroom.

Speaker 1 My boyfriend has been with me since my surgery, and we have had multiple conversations about how we both feel concerning my body, hormones changing in the way that they have, et cetera.

Speaker 1 I have been unable to have sex as my body quite literally will not allow me to. I have an average libido and my boyfriend has a high one, so this has been difficult for both of us.

Speaker 1 However, starting in December, my boyfriend started making comments and jokes about our lack of intimacy to me and in front of our friends.

Speaker 1 This didn't bother me at first, but it got to a point where I felt embarrassed and guilty, and I detached myself from intimacy even further.

Speaker 1 I expressed how his comments and jokes hurt me, and he said he would stop. Recently, they started picking up again.

Speaker 1 Last night, he made a particularly guilting comment to me, and it has left me feeling distant. I'm struggling to be any type of intimate or affectionate with him since the most recent comment.

Speaker 1 And he is getting angry with me because of that. I don't know what to do.
This has been a months-long struggle, and I need advice on how to move forward.

Speaker 1 I've talked to my doctor, to therapists, and have communicated with my boyfriend, but nothing is working. What would you do?

Speaker 2 She's told him, like, this isn't easy for her either. Like, this isn't an ideal scenario for her either.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 2 And the fact that he thinks that him poking at her and making rude comments is going to help her want to have sex with him more is so stupid.

Speaker 1 And like, in front of other people,

Speaker 2 in front of other people, like, it's something very personal. It's something that she's not feeling great about.
Like, there are so many medical situations going on with her right now.

Speaker 2 Like, he started these comments in December. Her surgery was sometime in October.
Like, she was still healing at that point. She was still going through the hormones of her birth control not working.

Speaker 2 Like, I, like, what could possibly possess you to be, like, making backhanded comments about her going through a medical crisis? Like, just because you can't have sex for a bit.

Speaker 1 Come on.

Speaker 2 Like, you

Speaker 1 can't have sex for a couple months. Like,

Speaker 1 I don't know, buddy. You got a, you got a hand.
Like, if you need to please yourself, sure, go for it. I understand.
High libido, you know, young guy, whatever.

Speaker 1 But to publicly shame your partner after two major surgeries, going through a major organ, nerve damage, hormones out of whack, like

Speaker 1 you either like this person and want to support them and be a good boyfriend as a human being, or like honestly, break up. Yeah.
Break up.

Speaker 1 If you're prioritizing sex over this person that seems nice and cares about you, break up.

Speaker 2 Yeah. She's not even saying like she has a very low libido and this is usually an issue.
Like, this is something that's happening because of a very specific reason.

Speaker 2 And, like, if this is the love of your life, why would that be what matters most to you? Like, why is that the main thing? Plenty of people all the time go months without having sex. It's,

Speaker 2 I've gone years. Hey, I've gone years.
I've been fine. I mean, I'm a different person, but like, it's not going to kill you.
You're not entitled to sex. No, that

Speaker 1 you're not entitled to sex, point blank. And again, if that is a problem for you,

Speaker 1 which I

Speaker 1 don't know, I think it's crazy breaking up with someone over that. It's like, what happens if you're with this person, you get married, you got kids, you have kids.

Speaker 1 You can't have sex right away after having a baby. Yeah.
Like, oh, guess we're not having sex soon. And like,

Speaker 1 yeah, things happen. Like, things happen.

Speaker 1 Top comment on this one. Sex is amazing and all, but you know what's better? My partner's well-being.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Your boyfriend is being completely selfish. It would be different if this wasn't a medical issue.
If my hubby was in this position, I would be too anxious about his health to be in the mood.

Speaker 1 Question, how long have you and your boyfriend been together?

Speaker 1 And OP does respond to that, we've been together for about six months. We've been friends for about nine.

Speaker 2 So I am very curious, does she ever say like what kind of comments and like jokes he's making? Like does she ever give an example?

Speaker 1 So we do have a couple comments from OP,

Speaker 1 none that look like they're getting into the specifics of it.

Speaker 1 The first comment OP ever replied to someone says, we have been intimate in other ways, but through our conversation, it is clear he is upset about the sex in particular.

Speaker 1 I understand why he is upset because he has a high libido and we had sex consistently before my surgery, but I also have been feeling immense guilt because of my own body and his comments.

Speaker 2 Her body is like got a hole in it. Like, and you, and you want to have sex with her?

Speaker 1 Like, let her heal.

Speaker 2 I just, I don't understand it. Like, and also being being disappointed that you can't have sex with your partner is one thing.

Speaker 2 And, like, there are normal feelings to that of being like, ah, shoot, one element of this horrible situation is that we can't have sex for a bit.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 But, like, to take it out on her and to make that the main issue of this like huge physical life event and to,

Speaker 1 I don't know, make her feel worse when it's already a rough situation.

Speaker 2 Like, what do you think that's going to do for you?

Speaker 1 This is so weird. I don't get it.

Speaker 1 I think you got to cut your losses. I really do.
I'm like, you're only six months in.

Speaker 2 Oh, absolutely.

Speaker 1 You are realizing very quickly that, like,

Speaker 1 I really think some people don't even like their partners. I'm like, I don't think he likes you.
Yeah. I genuinely like, I don't think he likes you.

Speaker 1 I think he just found it convenient to have a lot of sex.

Speaker 2 It's like an early version of the last story, but like, you're just finding it out sooner that this person isn't showing up for you.

Speaker 1 Literally.

Speaker 2 And won't and will get worse over time. You think they get better over time? Haven't seen that happen.
Have yet to see that happen.

Speaker 1 Dude, that's crazy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's so crazy. Yeah.
No, you got to cut your losses with this one and

Speaker 1 move on.

Speaker 1 Move on. This is not worth it.
Being guilted. Again, like you should never be guilted into intimacy.

Speaker 1 like yeah even if you're completely healthy be done yeah be done enough airtime for this garbage moving along garbage garbage

Speaker 1 okay

Speaker 1 i am working on a work related theme right now so i've been coming across like a lot of like work drama work stories but this one i'm like it's just so

Speaker 1 it's just a little juicy little thing and i'm like okay we're just gonna pop it in here before

Speaker 1 Yak is the work one. I want to get like a really good

Speaker 1 work professional person that's deep in it. And

Speaker 1 I'm trying to see who it is. So it's coming, but it's not ready yet.
So this one is coming from Am I the Asshole? It's three days old.

Speaker 1 Titled, Am I the Asshole for Not Giving My Coworker a Ride After He Didn't Spot Me $1 at the vending machine?

Speaker 2 What's the kind of petty shit that would do?

Speaker 1 I usually give my coworker a ride on the way back from work, usually usually driving five miles out of my way per day to drop him off at his place because he doesn't have a car.

Speaker 1 I've been doing that for about two years now, and I haven't asked for anything.

Speaker 1 And he has never offered. Yesterday, I was at the vending machine and wanted a soda.
I was a dollar short and had left my wallet in my car.

Speaker 1 I would usually go to get my wallet, but it takes forever to wait for the elevators at my workplace. So I asked him if he could spot me a dollar for the soda.

Speaker 1 He straight up refused and said, quote, just use your own money, man. I don't really give money to friends or coworkers.

Speaker 1 Sorry.

Speaker 2 But you, but you take.

Speaker 1 I was taken aback by that comment because I've probably spent well over $1,500 in gas over the past two years for this guy. And he can't even spot me a dollar just this once.

Speaker 1 I got pretty upset by that. And once it hit five, I told him I'm not giving him free rides anymore.
Yes, he seemed upset and said I was petty. Am I the asshole?

Speaker 2 Be more petty. Every time in one of these stories, people are like, I was a little petty.
Like, you were right. You should have been more petty.
You should have doubled down on being petty.

Speaker 2 Like, what the fuck? If someone's, he's never offered to do anything for her in return for five miles every single day for two years.

Speaker 1 I would send a bill for the gas. Yeah.
At that point, I'd be like, hey, dude, like, you can't give me a dollar. You're getting a bill for gas.

Speaker 2 And we talked about this on another episode we did where it's like, sometimes you do something for your friends and you don't even think about it, but then

Speaker 2 they won't do something for you in return that makes you realize, like, oh, like, have you never noticed that I do that for you? Like, does that not mean anything? Like,

Speaker 2 obviously, you don't do things for other people just so that they notice and like are grateful and do things back, but like it still feels nice

Speaker 2 to be like appreciated.

Speaker 1 Also, this is $1.

Speaker 1 Yeah, $1.

Speaker 1 And it was borrow. It's not like, hey, can I have a dollar? It's like, hey, can you just spot me? Like, I'm going to pay you back.

Speaker 2 Losing free rides over $1.

Speaker 1 It's a dollar.

Speaker 2 You know how much that Uber home is going to be?

Speaker 1 That's karma. That's absolutely karma.
That's truly karma. Like, again, like...
Some people really bite the hand that feeds them. Yeah.
And that's crazy to me.

Speaker 2 I don't really give money to friends or coworkers, but you're willing to to take from him like every single day, like huge favors. For years.

Speaker 1 For years. Five miles.
That's.

Speaker 1 Even if it had just been a month,

Speaker 2 even if it had just been a week, even if it had just been one ride, even, or not at all. Like, why is it really such a big deal to lend someone $1?

Speaker 1 $1.

Speaker 2 But those people, they have that mindset that they do really stay rich with that mindset.

Speaker 2 Like, sometimes the people who are the luckiest and have the best situations are the most stingy and like like find ways to get so much free stuff from other people without ever helping them in return.

Speaker 2 And the rich stay rich, I'll tell you that.

Speaker 1 That's not a world I want to live in. I know.

Speaker 2 I mean, I don't know his financial situation, but I know that kind of person.

Speaker 1 Like, we went when we got our massages, like, you bought my little raisin canes, and that was really nice. You give me stuff all the time.

Speaker 1 But I don't know. It was just really nice.
I was like, thank you for my chicken strips, man. You deserve it.
You deserve those chicken strips. But it's just like, again, like, I'm blown away.

Speaker 1 I'm blown away by this, like, the audacity of this person.

Speaker 2 Because I think it should feel natural in your mind of like, oh, this person like does stuff for me a lot. I want to do stuff for them too.

Speaker 2 Like, to never acknowledge that someone does something for you,

Speaker 1 I don't know. Wouldn't be me.

Speaker 2 And yeah, why keep doing it? It's like, okay, you haven't acknowledged at all that I'm doing you a favor for two years. Why would I keep doing it then?

Speaker 1 The fact that this person hasn't even offered, like, hey, I really appreciate you picking me up or dropping me off after work every day for the past couple of years. Like, let me know how I can help.

Speaker 1 Like, should I start pitching for gas? The fact that there was no offer. Yeah.
So that's like, this person is entitled, has a lot of audacity, and just you fucked up over a dollar.

Speaker 2 You fucked up. I hope it stays.
I hope it lasts. I do appreciate this being a lighthearted, fun story.

Speaker 1 Oh, it's good.

Speaker 1 It's good, though. Yeah.
Top comment on this one, not the asshole. You asked him for a small favor and he refused and shamed you.

Speaker 1 You have no obligation to keep offering him a ride though you should know that this will drastically deteriorate your relationship and they will make a big deal out of it

Speaker 1 op responds thankfully we work in completely different departments

Speaker 1 and i wouldn't care i literally wouldn't care like let him run his mouth yeah like oh he stopped giving me rides because i wouldn't borrow him a dollar You after two years of giving me rides?

Speaker 2 Yeah, no one's gonna hear that and be like and I think that that can be a really good way of thinking about things when you're having a conflict with like a coworker or a friend or whatever.

Speaker 2 Like, if this person were to repeat this story to someone else, would it make me look bad? No, it wouldn't because I didn't do anything wrong. Okay, then I don't need to feel bad about it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
No, moving along. Weirdo.

Speaker 1 So, this next one is coming from R/Slash Am I Overreacting, four days old, titled, Am I Overreacting for Being Upset That My Boyfriend Canceled A Romantic Dinner to Take His Mom and Sister instead?

Speaker 1 Basically, what the title says, my 24 female, boyfriend, 26 male of three years had told me over the weekend that he made reservations for a romantic restaurant on the lake.

Speaker 1 I was excited because our job doesn't allow us a lot of time to spend together as is. I packed a cute outfit and got everything ready this morning to change into after work.

Speaker 1 Then he texts me, quote, I actually can't take you tonight. I'm going with my mom and sister instead.
Now, normally, I'm pretty understanding, but this is weird, right?

Speaker 1 He kind of just brushed me off with a quote, well, they really wanted to go. So, yeah, sorry.
I have no problem with him spending time with his family, but this was supposed to be our date.

Speaker 1 Not to mention, I had to prepare and pack everything since he lives about 45 minutes away from me.

Speaker 1 Now he's going to enjoy a romantic dinner with his mom and sister, and I'm going back home to be by myself. Am I overreacting for being upset about this?

Speaker 1 I don't even, I don't even understand why this happened.

Speaker 2 Like, you already had plans. Why would you just be like, actually, I'm gonna invite my mom and sister instead?

Speaker 1 Can't take you, babe.

Speaker 2 Just do something else with them the next day.

Speaker 2 Do you believe that he's actually taking his mom and sister?

Speaker 1 You beg the question.

Speaker 1 I

Speaker 1 think it's weird, especially like

Speaker 1 OP calls this a romantic restaurant on the lake. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He made this really cute, intentional plan for his girlfriend. Like, we're going on this really cute date.
Yeah. And then mom and sister, all of a sudden, like, they want to go.

Speaker 1 So it's like, okay, well, now I'm taking my mom and my sister to this romantic restaurant on the lake. Sounds a little inappropriate.

Speaker 2 I'd be at least suspicious.

Speaker 1 And like, okay, you can have a nice dinner with your mom and sister. Great.
But like, you had plans with your girlfriend. Yeah.
Hey, mom, sister.

Speaker 1 Sorry, like, I'm busy. Well, let's go, let's go the next night.
Yeah. I'd love to go get dinner with you guys, but I have plans.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, why are you letting them sabotage your relationship?

Speaker 2 And to do it after she's already so excited, like, she found an outfit. She planned it.

Speaker 2 Like, she's put everything in place so that this is the night that she's going to have and is accommodated for this to be the night that you guys were going to have together.

Speaker 2 Like, it just doesn't make any sense. Like, you have all the time in the world.
It's not like your mom and sister are visiting from somewhere else and it's the only night you can spend with them.

Speaker 2 Like you made this plan with your girlfriend. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And that's a good point. Like there's not any of that comments.
Like it sounds like they're not visiting. Yeah.
So

Speaker 1 again, weird. You would skip out on your girlfriend.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Top comment, no, this is weird. Yeah.
Canceling a romantic date to take his mom and sister instead with zero discussion. That's not just inconsiderate.
It's straight up dismissive.

Speaker 1 Spending time with family is great, but he could have made separate plans with them instead of pulling a last-minute swap like you were never a part of the equation.

Speaker 1 You have every right to be upset. And this wasn't a small change.
It was a complete disregard for your plans together. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Next comment, yep. My ex would do this all the time.
Insert people into our plans or straight up change them for other people.

Speaker 1 So concerned about what other people wanted and not leaving them out, but no regard for me. I feel like this is the same situation.

Speaker 1 He probably mentioned it to his mom and sister, and they were like, Wow, that sounds really cool. You should take us some time.
And he just buckled over and said, Yeah, let's go this day.

Speaker 1 I have reservations. Then said, Sorry to girlfriend.
So weird, so gross. You are not his priority.

Speaker 2 Yeah, doing it the day of is crazy.

Speaker 2 You can so easily in that situation be like, well, I have plans tonight, but now I'll know if it's a good place and I can give you recommendations when we go next week.

Speaker 2 Like, it doesn't have to be this whole thing where you cancel on her last minute that day.

Speaker 1 Also, don't you want to hang out with your girlfriend?

Speaker 2 Yeah, you would think so.

Speaker 1 You would think? I don't know. Like, you don't see each other much, and she lives 45 minutes away.
Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2 That's that's a hike. And it's all planned to work out now.
Like, you have a whole thing.

Speaker 1 So, OP does have a little bit of an update on this post. Thank you all for the advice.
I've read all of the comments, and I went ahead and pressed the issue a little further with him.

Speaker 1 To respond to some questions in the comments, do you get along with his family? His family and I get along pretty well.

Speaker 1 We've been on trips together, gotten each other gifts for holidays and birthdays, the whole nine yards.

Speaker 1 I have always had a creeping suspicion that they didn't like me because when I come over, they are super passive and don't really engage in conversation with me.

Speaker 1 When I ask my boyfriend, he says that they're just reserved and shy. I think they just don't like that the only man in their life has a girlfriend.

Speaker 1 Bingo!

Speaker 2 Another one of these situations.

Speaker 1 Next response from OP: Is he cheating on you? Yeah. I can confidently say he's not cheating on me.

Speaker 1 He just has this weird relationship/slash mama's boy thing going on that has always slightly bothered me.

Speaker 1 He literally goes out of his way to show his appreciation for them. Sometimes it's endearing, but sometimes I feel like I'm on a back burner.

Speaker 1 Now, he said he understands where he went wrong and doesn't want me to feel like I'm the last option.

Speaker 1 Apparently, he's been canceling plans on them for a while, so he felt bad when they expressed interest in going to dinner with him tonight. Just them three.

Speaker 1 Like, it could have been a nice four.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I mean, that's possible. It would have been a little bit annoying, but it wouldn't have been as bad.

Speaker 1 Versus, like, fuck you, you're not going at all. I will be putting my foot down about the mom and sister thing.
Like, seriously.

Speaker 1 His sister is older than me, and he treats her like she is nine years old. Thank you to all the women and men sharing their mother-in-law, sister-in-law, father-in-law stories.

Speaker 1 You've given me confidence to stand up for myself. Also, thank you for the laughs.
I tend to make light of situations. Your concern brought me some joy today.

Speaker 1 It felt crazy, but you all made me realize I need to stand up for myself right now.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I mean, he doesn't have to cancel on his mom and sister just like he doesn't have to cancel on her.
Just like,

Speaker 2 stick to your plans and then it won't be this whole catch up thing.

Speaker 1 Just stick to your plans.

Speaker 1 Also, just because you've been canceling on them doesn't make it right for you to then cancel on your girlfriend. Yeah, exactly.
Find a new day.

Speaker 2 Quit canceling on people.

Speaker 1 Quit over committing yourself and being a people pleaser.

Speaker 1 Like, that's something I've really noticed where it's like, I would commit because I didn't want to tell anyone no, but I was so over committing myself to the point where like, I'm burnt out.

Speaker 1 I'm not showing up and being present at any of the things because I'm like, I'm tired. I'm stressed.
Like, it's okay to say no. Yeah.
It's okay to advocate for yourself.

Speaker 1 It's okay to not be peer pressured or feel you need to, like, show up for everyone at the same time. Like,

Speaker 1 set boundaries. Take a breather.

Speaker 1 We have an update, though. Ooh.
Another one.

Speaker 1 I wasn't going to update, but I am livid. Oh, God, what do you do?

Speaker 1 To clear it up from the beginning, his mom and sister knew that we had a date.

Speaker 1 Of course. They proposed the idea to get dinner with him.
He told them he had already planned a date with me. They made sad faces and sighed.
Oh

Speaker 1 my god.

Speaker 1 That's when he felt bad for them. The fact he even told me this is insane because why are two grown women guilt-tripping you right now? I FaceTime called with my boyfriend last night before dinner.

Speaker 1 We had a serious talk about his family and how I need him to start stepping up more. I told him I won't be option number three for my entire life and threatened to leave if that was the case.

Speaker 1 He understood, agreed, and we moved on. He said his mom was just stressed about work and wanted to talk to him.
Sure, told him to enjoy his dinner and everything.

Speaker 1 Fast forward a few hours later, during supposed dinner time. I'm on FaceTime with him again and wondering why he's not at the restaurant.
His mom and sister fell asleep.

Speaker 1 They literally just fell asleep. Here I am, literally begging for this man for one day a week to see him, and his mom and sister who live with him fell asleep.
They live with him?

Speaker 1 They live with him?

Speaker 2 Okay, you gotta be kidding. Like, wait, they live with him?

Speaker 1 They casually drop him that.

Speaker 1 I told him straight up that they disrespected his time and did all these theatrics for nothing.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, that's the update. Thanks for all your tough love and good advice.
I have a lot to think about today. Really, even the mean comments were good.

Speaker 1 I don't normally talk to people in real life about my relationship, so I appreciate the little bits of advice.

Speaker 2 Okay, call me Tinfoil Hat, call me a little bit crazy, maybe, but it's still suspicious to me. Like, they both fell asleep.
Like, I don't know. I think there's still a slight chance

Speaker 1 there's another woman, but like, I think you might be onto it.

Speaker 2 I don't know. It's just like, okay, both of them fell asleep and you had to go with them and they guilted you so hard, even though you live with them.

Speaker 2 And like, if you live with them, wouldn't you just go with them?

Speaker 1 Why don't you just go wake their asses up? Yeah. Also, like, what time was this dinner reservation for? Probably like six, because OP was going to go right after work.
So it's like, okay, 6 p.m.

Speaker 1 ish dinner reservation. They are not going to bed at 6 p.m.
Yeah. They're not likely going to bed at 7 p.m.
They fell asleep, both of them. Both of them.

Speaker 1 I would just

Speaker 1 wake their asses up. Yeah.
I just wouldn't write it off.

Speaker 2 I would investigate further.

Speaker 2 Like, of course, there's still the more likely chance that that's actually what happened, but it's just very odd. It's so odd to me.

Speaker 1 This is, this is getting goofy. Yeah.
There's, I was not, the fact that you really, you brought this to my attention, you're really pointing this out.

Speaker 1 And I'm so curious. This might have to be the poll on this one.
It might have to be the poll if we think he's cheating.

Speaker 2 Sorry, babe. Both of them fell asleep and like now I'm just here alone, so I can't show you them on FaceTime.

Speaker 1 You live together, go knock on the door, yeah.

Speaker 1 Also, the fact that they live together is even more so. Like, why did you cancel on your girlfriend? Yeah, you live with them, yeah.

Speaker 1 He's 26, sister's 25, mom is probably 50.

Speaker 2 Talk to her at any point.

Speaker 1 You get these people

Speaker 1 basically all week. Yeah, and you only see your girlfriend one day a week.
Girl, break up. I don't, I don't care if he's cheating or not.

Speaker 1 At this point, you shouldn't be begging your boyfriend to spend time with you. Your boyfriend of three

Speaker 1 years.

Speaker 1 Mm-hmm. Break up.
Break up.

Speaker 2 This is stupid. And you're the one that's far away.
It should be like such a priority to see your girlfriend who lives 45 minutes away instead of your family that you live with.

Speaker 2 Wow, I can't believe she just like casually dropped that little additional info like later in the comments.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Well, and there's more, there's a few more comments from OP.
100%, as this is normal behavior for him, I don't think he's cheating, to be honest. I think he just loves them that much.

Speaker 1 He does not see them as much as we would think because he does have a very demanding like blue-collar job. It's his dream job.
And he doesn't live with them because he needs money.

Speaker 1 It's more so they actually need money from him. He makes decent money.
I think they are in his ear making him feel guilty.

Speaker 1 That being said, I'll take myself on a date tonight instead. Oh my God.
Breakup.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 he's got his hands full. He doesn't have time for a girlfriend, it sounds like.
It sounds like he's already got a very complicated home life to deal with, and he seems to like it that way.

Speaker 1 So I know. OP is saying, I think therapy might be the route I'll take.
Yeah. Which, hey, you've been together three years.
If you're willing to see if it can get better,

Speaker 1 give it a shot. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I mean, it's not like the worst thing in the world to do to somebody, but I just also don't think that it can continue like that.

Speaker 1 It's insane. Yeah, they rely on him financially, emotionally, etc.

Speaker 1 I don't think it's a big deal breaker, but the principle is why I'm upset. I will definitely keep reminding myself of this.

Speaker 2 Just to feel like you're not at all a priority to your partner is like, that just can't continue.

Speaker 1 I wouldn't be able to do it. And it's, I think it's giving you a preview of like, after three years,

Speaker 1 if you're not being prioritized over

Speaker 1 mom and sister for just an average date night,

Speaker 1 when will you be prioritized? Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's not going to magically change when you get married.

Speaker 1 No. And like, I just, I, I don't want to fight for someone's attention.
Like, I have had issues like early on in some relationships where like

Speaker 1 they didn't really really have clear boundaries with their parent. Like, that's not something they ever really needed to have.

Speaker 1 And so, issues arise, and they would like

Speaker 1 it, it wasn't even like things that like would require like taking my side over, but I was prioritized, and that was an issue.

Speaker 1 And it was hard establishing that boundary because it's, it was a muscle that had never been flexed. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But after you get over that hump, it does get better. Like, it, it is healthier, it's more constructive.
Like, you do have to be uncomfortable at sometimes to grow.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I mean, it is it is a little sad the first time your child spends Thanksgiving or Christmas with their partner or their partner's family instead of you.

Speaker 2 Like, that is a normal thing to be sad about, but it's also like, what's gonna happen? Like, you're not gonna get every holiday, you're not gonna get every date night. Things change.

Speaker 1 Things do change. People grow.

Speaker 1 You gotta, move on. Live a little.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry. I'm adding in one last one, you guys.
Don't hate me, but this is one, the title alone. And we just need, I feel like we need to end really like breaking these stress balls.
Really trash.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because I'm like, I don't, I don't know if I have another theme for this one. So I'm like, I gotta get it out.

Speaker 1 I gotta get it out. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So, last

Speaker 1 coming from Am I Overreacting, four hours old. Am I overreacting? My boyfriend said, I'm the kind of girl that guys sleep with, but don't marry.

Speaker 1 All right. Yeah, this is going to get me.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I, 23 female, and my boyfriend, 27, have been dating for three years. Yesterday, we were watching this dating show.

Speaker 1 There was this beautiful girl he pointed out saying, oh, wow, she looks like marriage material. Hearing that, I asked him, quote, what about me?

Speaker 1 And he went, quote, you You are the kind of girl guys sleep with and not marry.

Speaker 1 Dead ass to my face.

Speaker 1 I was really shocked when he said this, but then next second, he just laughed, saying it was a joke.

Speaker 1 I got really upset because it's the first time I've heard something like that, and we got into an argument.

Speaker 1 Initially, he said he was sorry, but then the more we argued, the more he got offended, asking me why I was so sensitive.

Speaker 1 As what he said can be taken as a compliment, since guys usually go for attractive women, and I was one of them. He said it's a good thing not being able to commit and have your heart broken.

Speaker 1 What about me in these three years?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I hadn't tried talking to him at all today, and he's been constantly texting me saying sorry, and he will take me out for food.

Speaker 1 He ended up coming to my college an hour ago and said I shouldn't be sensitive over a joke that was just a passing thought. I don't know if I'm overreacting by keeping my distance.

Speaker 1 My boyfriend has made some tasteless jokes in the past, but this wasn't it for me.

Speaker 2 So, is it a joke or is it a compliment? Like, is it a joke or is it something that she should take as a compliment? Because he's contradicting himself when he's explaining it.

Speaker 2 Like, I didn't mean that, but also, you should be happy that that's the case.

Speaker 1 I don't, are they, are they actually dating?

Speaker 1 Like, if you asked him, Am I your girlfriend? Or

Speaker 1 how do you spend three years years with someone and then to their face say, You're not the marrying kind. You're the kind of girl guys sleep with and don't marry.

Speaker 2 That's just like a very cruel thing to say.

Speaker 1 What are we doing here? Yeah.

Speaker 1 What's

Speaker 2 what you committed to me, my thought? Like, isn't that a commitment?

Speaker 2 And it feels like it also, I mean, it's like a fucked up comment regardless, but I do feel like it also hit home a little bit in the sense that, like, they have been together three years and there probably haven't been a lot of mentions of a further commitment with marriage on the table.

Speaker 1 I guess.

Speaker 1 I mean, OP's 23 started dating when, you know, 20 and he was 24.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I mean, that is pretty young.

Speaker 1 But, like, but if you're not, it's okay if you just want to date someone to just date, but like, it doesn't seem like that's OP's mindset.

Speaker 2 Like, yeah.

Speaker 1 And I think most people do date with like the intention of like long-term commitment at the end of the day. Yeah, absolutely.
So,

Speaker 1 this is really confusing. I can't even,

Speaker 1 I can't even get past this. Like, looking at someone on TV that you don't know, being like, marriage material.
What do you, you don't even know that person.

Speaker 1 So that's based on a physically objective attraction you have or whatever.

Speaker 1 Subjective, not objective. Like you're saying, oh, she's marriage material.
Why? Like, that's giving, you know, it's giving the same energy as like a guy being like, oh, she's a breeder.

Speaker 1 Uh-huh. Is that a thing? Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Oh, no. That's insane.
It's such a thing, especially if, like,

Speaker 1 like

Speaker 2 good birthing hips.

Speaker 1 If, like, she's tall or athletic. Oh, my God.
Like, oh, she's such a breeder. Like, our kids would be do what? Like,

Speaker 2 well, it's another contradiction because

Speaker 2 didn't he point her out because she was attractive, but then he said that it was a compliment for his girlfriend because guys usually sleep with girls they find attractive.

Speaker 2 So, then are you trying to say the girl on TV wasn't attractive? Because that's not what you made it sound like.

Speaker 1 Like, or I'm attractive enough for people to fuck but not marry? Yeah,

Speaker 1 either way, the math isn't mathing, and then to brush it off as a joke, it's not funny. I'm not laughing.

Speaker 1 And you, I said, we were gonna get mad enough to pop her. You broke the stress ball.
I'm so sorry. It's okay.
I'm so sorry. that's what they're here for what do i do

Speaker 1 i'm so sorry you it's i said i'm gonna get mad enough to break it oh no

Speaker 1 so sorry popping banana now it looks like the banana looks like it's jizzing i know i was i was like i looked down and i said wait a minute

Speaker 1 damn they are very fragile well now i can return it that one extra story like

Speaker 1 put us over the edge if it wouldn't have been you it would have been me because I got banana. Thank you for comforting me.
Yeah, no, you're totally fine.

Speaker 1 It's okay.

Speaker 1 I said, I said this story,

Speaker 1 and it did.

Speaker 1 Top comment on this one:

Speaker 1 just tell him he is the dumping kind and move on. Yes,

Speaker 2 that part.

Speaker 1 Someone goes, come on, you know the answer here.

Speaker 1 And OP replies to that. Only comment we have from OP on this one.

Speaker 1 To be honest, I tried telling my friend and she said it's some guy humor and I shouldn't be too offended. She needs new friends.
And take it as a compliment, which is why I'm confused.

Speaker 1 It's not the first time he's made backhanded compliments. And I usually just get upset for a little time before forgetting, but this comment just took me out for some reason.

Speaker 2 Because it's gross. It's gross that you even have that mindset about women anyway, like looking at them on TV and being like, oh, would only sleep with her.

Speaker 2 Like, ugh, like, first of all, I don't want to hear that in general, but then to say it about me.

Speaker 1 I just think it really is highlighting what he actually thinks of you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I think there's moments in life and relationships, whether it's like with partners or friends, where there's almost like that, like that slip, like where it's like, oh,

Speaker 1 like, I

Speaker 1 fucked up. Like, that's not, that's not how I meant it, but it's like, but it probably is how you meant it.
Yeah. And you just let it slip.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're just disappointed or bummed you said it to me, to my face, dead ass. Like,

Speaker 1 I think it's okay to take people at their word. And, like, he is even doubling down.
Like, it was a joke. I don't think he sees you as marriage material.
So, if that's something you want,

Speaker 2 hey, and even if it really is just a joke, it's okay if you don't want to be with someone who makes jokes like that. It's okay,

Speaker 2 it's okay if that's like something that makes you uncomfortable. You've tried to tell him you don't like it, it hasn't changed, and that's a deal breaker for you.

Speaker 2 Like, even if it's a joke, like, you don't have to be okay with that because not everyone makes jokes like that at your expense.

Speaker 1 Nope. Hey, what day is trash today?

Speaker 1 Today.

Speaker 2 I was about to be like, Tuesday.

Speaker 1 Mine's Thursday.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 Yes, mine's Thursday. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 So nice. I forget sometimes, though.

Speaker 1 But that's all I got. Wow.

Speaker 2 What a good mix of stories.

Speaker 1 Insane.

Speaker 1 I'm stressed. Yeah.
Time to go to Costco and get some samples. I'm hungry.
Rotisserie chicken. Oh, I get a box of croissants and open it up in the store and eat one as I shop.

Speaker 2 We got one of the boxes of croissants at our house, but like we could not.

Speaker 1 Oh, I give them away.

Speaker 2 That's, you have to do that because give them to my neighbors. It's so many croissants.

Speaker 1 My gardeners.

Speaker 1 I give them away because I'm like, I can't eat them. There's, what do you get? 12 in a box? Like a dozen?

Speaker 2 It's a lot and they're huge.

Speaker 2 But they do stay good for a while.

Speaker 1 And they're so good.

Speaker 2 Wow, I might get them today.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're getting them. Okay, cool.
100%. No questions asked.
So we just say no more.

Speaker 1 But thank you all so much for being here. We've got some amazing content on Patreon this month.
The group T, Michaela and I did in January is up on Patreon. A lot of good stuff.
So come on over.

Speaker 1 But other than that, until next time, don't forget to put your trash out. Bye.