207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana

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Speaker 1 This episode is brought to you by Ollie. You know what shouldn't be a hot take? Wanting great sex and a healthy hoo-ha.
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Speaker 1 How long do you go for?

Speaker 1 Too long. Okay, copy.

Speaker 1 We'll aim for like an hour and 40. Perfect.
Hopefully not. Yeah.
Yeah. That's perfect.
I hold people hostage too long. You're going to feel held hostage by me too.
Because I'm feeling hostage.

Speaker 1 Okay, finally. Someone is meeting me on my level.
We're not leaving until seven. I'm kidding.
Don't, do not tell me with a good time.

Speaker 1 The people are hearing that and they're like, oh my God, is this going to be another three-hour long episode? No, because it was terrible to edit.

Speaker 1 So no, that probably won't ever happen again, but I love you guys. And I know you're going to love today's guest.
Hi, I'm Morgan. Welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes.

Speaker 1 Today, I'm joined by the one and only Angela Ghirdetano. Perfect.

Speaker 1 No, I'm not Italian, and I will never try that again. And I'm actually cringing at myself that I did it the first time.
Sorry, I forced you to. Oh, my God.
What the hell was that?

Speaker 1 I'm so scared.

Speaker 1 I'm so excited to have you today.

Speaker 1 Best podcast setup I've ever experienced. Oh, that says a lot

Speaker 1 coming from the smosh room over there. Truly.
Never have a comfy chair over there.

Speaker 1 Why was the couch so hard? Yeah, you know, that's just gets you on your toes. I think it's actually made of books.
There's just a sheet over it. It's books with a sheet.
It's books with a sheet.

Speaker 1 But you do some amazing work over there. I was watching some of your most iconic moments today.
You have like people on YouTube that put together

Speaker 1 compilations for you. You're hilarious.
Those make me look a lot funnier than I actually am. I no, no, no.
I watched a lot of clips. Oh, wow.
Like a lot of clips.

Speaker 1 And I feel like, no, I think you're genuinely one of the funniest people. Whoa.

Speaker 1 We're five minutes in, and you said that. We'll check in in an hour.
No, no, no, no. I know you're going to be so, you're going to be good.

Speaker 1 I mean, Reddit, I am, I'm like a year and a half into like having Reddit be a part of my life. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Isn't it scary? My God.

Speaker 1 It's terrifying. My God.
I watched the episode with you, Shane and Courtney, and you had the pasta PowerPoint and you were just like,

Speaker 1 it was the guy who made like a how to cook PowerPoint presentation for his girlfriend.

Speaker 1 Oh my god. See, I have to be careful because

Speaker 1 I'm realizing every Reddit story that deeply affects me is just an ignorant boy.

Speaker 1 And I have to be careful because there are ignorant people all over. All over.
But sometimes I'm like, oh my God. Yeah, not gender specific.
It's just brings a cutting board to the bedroom.

Speaker 1 There was a story where someone brought

Speaker 1 like their wife was sick and he brought the cutting board to the bedroom. I have not read that one.

Speaker 1 And now I'm instantly like, why do I feel hot inside? I'm sorry. That's why I'm like, I have to drop it.
That Reddit makes me do that. I know.
Well, today,

Speaker 1 I don't know if it's going to be any better.

Speaker 1 It's okay. I don't know if it's going to be any better.
You, um, you went viral recently, and it was like the most, oh, it's just like, it's everything. Like, I've never resonated with someone more.

Speaker 1 You're like, that's not fair. It's okay.
I'm an adult.

Speaker 1 I died. Oh, my God.
Thank you so much. So, when I was teeing up a theme for you, I was like, of course, we have to like talk about like, is that fair? Is that not fair? I love you.
Yes.

Speaker 1 So, we're going to get into all these crazy stories. There's some wedding ones, partnerships, relationships, everything.
It's nothing's off limits.

Speaker 1 And they're all going to have, we're going to have to decide. Like, is that fair or are they being a little cuckoo? I'm obsessed.
I'm ready. Okay.
Let's dive in.

Speaker 1 Okay, getting into it. This is coming from AITAH, 28 days old.

Speaker 1 Fresh. It's titled, Am I the Asshole for Not Letting My Friends Use My Backyard for Their Wedding? Because they do not want me to bring a plus one.

Speaker 1 Oh, damn. Here's the situation.
Last summer, I bought my grandparents' house. This house was the hangout spot for my friends and I throughout our childhood.
This includes my friend Dave.

Speaker 1 The house has a sizable amount of land, which includes a lake and a gazebo. I was supposed to buy the house with my now ex-girlfriend, Leslie.

Speaker 1 But going through the process of getting approved to buy, I found out that she had massive amounts of credit card debt and personal debt that she hid from me throughout our four years together.

Speaker 1 I decided to break up as a result. That was about six months ago.
I met Leslie because Dave's long-term girlfriend, Kim, is Leslie's cousin. Dave and Kim are engaged and set to get married in April.

Speaker 1 When I was buying the house, they asked if they could have the ceremony at the gazebo, which I agreed to do. In December, I started dating again.
Leslie has not taken this well at all.

Speaker 1 She thinks we are going to get back together and has tried multiple times to make that happen. I have told her in no uncertain terms, that isn't happening.

Speaker 1 Dave and Kim have asked me to not bring a plus one to the wedding for Leslie's sake. Oh,

Speaker 1 I have told them that this request is ridiculous. This wedding is happening at my house, using my land, and I'm not allowed to bring a date because of a crazy ex.

Speaker 1 If that is the case, then they need to find a new venue for the wedding. They are pissed about this given the short time frame of when the wedding is supposed to happen.
So we are at an impasse.

Speaker 1 Am I the asshole?

Speaker 1 Wait, I actually am a little split down the middle, only because it would be chaotic to have the new relationship there with Leslie. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But is Leslie going to bring someone? Because like if Leslie gets to bring someone, then it should be fine. Then OP should be able to have someone there too.

Speaker 1 But if Leslie is still a mess over the breakup, which it kind of sounds like Leslie is,

Speaker 1 it would be a little messy. But it's this person's land.
It's their house.

Speaker 1 This person's grandma's land. Their lake.

Speaker 1 How bougie. I'm like, to have a private lake in your backyard? Recently, I had a friend text me a day before her wedding that I wasn't invited to.
Ooh.

Speaker 1 And we're like friends, but like not like really close. Yeah.
Or close. We're just friends.
Friends. She was like, hey, someone

Speaker 1 dropped out and you were on my list that I couldn't make work because it was like a smaller wedding. Do you want to come? Oh.
And I was like, I only want to go if I get a plus one.

Speaker 1 I was like, am I allowed to ask for a plus one that last minute? Yeah. But that makes me think of this because

Speaker 1 plus one stuff, talk about fairness. That always gets tricky with weddings.
Oh, I'm going through it right now. Because you're engaged.
Yeah. Getting married this September.

Speaker 1 And there's some people on the other side. Do I not have a plus one? Well,

Speaker 1 I think you're safe. You're reasonable.
We just met. There's some people, though, that like they're not seeing anyone and they want to bring a plus one just to stir drama.

Speaker 1 See, that's what freaks me out about this story. And that's kind of similar to this, where it's like, I don't want to give them a plus one because, like, I don't want to deal with that.

Speaker 1 That's just, it's my day. Yes.
And so I go back and forth. I think I'm kind of toting the line a little bit, like, where ultimately I'm like, okay, their house, their rules, whatever.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But at the same time, like, you might burn a friendship because this is also their wedding day. You've said, yeah, you've signed on board.

Speaker 1 And now it's just coming down to like you not getting a plus one. Like,

Speaker 1 I don't know, like, you're causing your friend some stress. Yeah.
But again, ultimately, it is your house. I get it.
Like, I really am right in the middle because I totally get it.

Speaker 1 But it's also like, does OP really want

Speaker 1 to like host this? That's already stressful to like host something. And a wedding, right?

Speaker 1 And your ex is there and your new booze there. That sounds like a lot.

Speaker 1 honestly i'd have to i'd be i'd i get so panicked and awkward and then i get too drunk me too because i just don't know what to do with myself so i have something you just drink more

Speaker 1 and you're like oh let me clean the gazebo oh my ex oh my boo like this is too much no and like i feel like leslie little loose cannon like still actively trying to get back together like what's leslie gonna do Yeah, Leslie might add on to her debt and like buy more clothes, buy like a big outfit for this.

Speaker 1 You don't even even know it. Like these are like, like we're coming in hot and then we're adding alcohol and a lake to the situation.

Speaker 1 Bye. I'd say go peaceful.
Like why can't OP just like support their friends and then like invite your boo over to the house? Yeah. No, that's messed up.
I get it. It's their house.
I know. I know.

Speaker 1 Where do you think the top comment went on this one? I think everyone's like, it's your house. You can do what you want.
Top comment, pull an uno reverse.

Speaker 1 Tell them Leslie isn't allowed on your property and watch their heads explode. That actually makes sense, though.

Speaker 1 I mean, I'll host your wedding. I'll save you a lot of money.
I don't want my ex here, but meet me in the middle.

Speaker 1 In my house, let this be easy for me and you. It's awkward having my ex come over.
We were supposed to buy this house together until she lied about her massive credit card debt.

Speaker 1 Until she lied and charged it. 26% APY.

Speaker 1 That's a great comment.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 The next one down is from OP responding. The petty part of me did absolutely consider saying, well, Leslie cannot come to my house or on my land, so it shouldn't be a problem.

Speaker 1 So, OP, you know, the wheels were turning on that one. Yeah.
And that takes, ooh, that's hard. That's really hard.
I don't envy them.

Speaker 1 That's a hard situation to be like, I'll do you this massive favor, but some of your family isn't invited to the wedding. Yeah, your cousin.
Kim, your cousin can't come.

Speaker 1 Because then that puts, honestly, the couple in the hot seat. Who should be in the hot seat for this? You're choosing, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Like, you're asking your friends to do and your cousin to be in a weird situation. So.
Yeah. Next comment down.
This is the way. Agree not to bring a date.

Speaker 1 It's a small concession that actually protects your best interests. Whoever you brought would have the worst time navigating this ex-girlfriend drama.

Speaker 1 Instead, tell them that you are not comfortable having Leslie on your property and thank them for bringing this to your attention before the wedding.

Speaker 1 You had thought you could peacefully coexist with the wedding, but if you bring a date and it would cause problems, then they've opened your eyes to that not being the case.

Speaker 1 It's just better for everyone's mental health if she sits this one out. Feed them some bullshit on not wanting the ex-girlfriend drama to take the spotlight away from them on their special day.

Speaker 1 This commenter sounds like she's from my family. A little Jedi mind tricks manipulation.
It sounds a little Italian, being like, oops, why don't we just

Speaker 1 détente? No one do, no one, isn't that a word like

Speaker 1 surrender? Like, put it

Speaker 1 fancy, but like, being like, okay, hands up, no one, no one, no one does this, okay. And we all just show up, and no one brings a boo.

Speaker 1 That's a good way to do it. Yeah, I like that.
You know what? We do have some edits from OP. Thank God.
We have some edits.

Speaker 1 You're like, I'm here at the gazebo right now. It's a mess.
Live from the gazebo.

Speaker 1 I've seen a few things brought up a number of times in the comments, so I will quickly address them here. Okay.

Speaker 1 One, I am fully aware of the liability issues, which is why I purchased and they reimbursed me for a special event insurance policy, which will provide 100% coverage for any damages, claims, injuries, et cetera, to any of the property or persons up to $2 million.

Speaker 1 What? It is one of the first things we did after I agreed to have the event in my my home. I want to do that for a wine night at my apartment.
I think,

Speaker 1 honestly, if you are hosting a housewarming, a baby shower, any event, a dinner, you should do this. A kickback? I had to do this for one of our comedy shows.
It was only 50 bucks.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And then if someone spills like a big bottle of chilled red on your nice rug, insurance will cover it.

Speaker 1 That can't be real. This is, it's got to.
This has got to be genius property damages. Red wine on a couch would totally be covered.
You're like, oops, we ordered pizza.

Speaker 1 I literally only let people drink water and white wine on my couch because of this reason. Exactly.

Speaker 1 Anytime I host a kickback, it's probably only $5.

Speaker 1 So I know that white wine would just be fine on your couch. I spilled a whole red solo cup of white wine on the couch.
Oh my God. Totally fine.
Totally fine. That's amazing.

Speaker 1 I also found this amazing cleaner from Amazon. Well, my mother-in-law found it first, and then I got it.
It is the best cleaner hands down.

Speaker 1 For couches anything anything i had a black mark from a rollerblade on my white couch are we rollerblading on our couch i um i was putting them on and i just went with my leg and i got it and came right out i just bought a white couch okay we're gonna get you the cleaner and i feel i already bought one of those small little uh vacuum cleaners because i want it like in the crevices because i'm so paranoid yeah I got a Dyson with all the attachments.

Speaker 1 And Dyson's on my list. Just go to the Co., go to the Costco.
Go to the Co. Go to the Co.
You get an extra warranty. It's so good.
See, my ex-boyfriend had the Co, and I'm going to go to the next one.

Speaker 1 I'll take you to the Co. I'll take you.
I'll take you to the Co.

Speaker 1 We got you. No need for a boy.
Number two.

Speaker 1 The wedding will have a maximum, if everyone comes, of 75 guests, five catering staff, and five security staff. The security is because this is an open area that anyone walking past could access.

Speaker 1 The house has hosted events twice the size, and logistically, It'll all be fine. On the property are two cottages, one with one bathroom and the other with two bathrooms.

Speaker 1 The only portion of my house that will not be locked during the wedding is the finished basement. The basement has two bathrooms.

Speaker 1 Got it.

Speaker 1 So, reasonable toilets. And security.

Speaker 1 Security. That's lessen the liability.
Hopefully, no one will go in the lake.

Speaker 1 Three, every person who is single, i.e., not in an established relationship, received an invitation with a plus one, including me and Leslie.

Speaker 1 This talk came after I sent in my return card and indicated I was bringing a plus one.

Speaker 1 Now they are saying they do not want me to have a plus one because Leslie blew up about it and they are afraid of a blow up at the wedding.

Speaker 1 So that might be a failure, like in the like Bill of Rights of this or whatever. Is like, don't offer it unless you mean it.
You can't rescind. Because I think if the couple thought of this in

Speaker 1 before it happened, they could have probably avoided this and just not given Leslie or OP a plan. A plus one.
It's an intimate wedding, 75 people. Like, that's on the

Speaker 1 smart, like, smaller. Smart, you know,

Speaker 1 it's smaller. So I'm like,

Speaker 1 they should have just said no plus ones. If I was asking my friend whose land it was and my cousins was their ex, I think I would have saw this coming.
I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 And I wouldn't have been like, I'm not giving you the power. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Number four. Last one.
Leslie indicated she intends to bring someone on her card. I do not know if she will actually bring someone.

Speaker 1 Hey, what's good for the goose is good for the gander. Leslie's bringing someone, you're bringing someone.
It's going to be a good time. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Leslie should do a little like my best friend's wedding moment and get like a friend to like be their fake partner.

Speaker 1 Make it a movie.

Speaker 1 Iconic. Julie Roberts shows up.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Yes. The security for the event, they're really hot too.
Oh, yeah. Oops, I fell into the lake.
Help me. Yeah.
Help. I see, here's what really bugs me, though.
Point number three.

Speaker 1 Leslie was the one that blew up. and they're worried about Leslie making this blow up at the wedding happen.
Why are we making Leslie's blow up an immaturity, an emotional irregulation, OP's problem?

Speaker 1 Yes, that's why I said this reminded me of my family a little bit.

Speaker 1 Because it's like, oh, the person who's having the outburst and who we're expecting to have the outburst, that's not their responsibility. It's the people whose outbursts it's going to affect.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? It's going to, yeah. Yeah.
So that sucks. Goofy.
And you know what? I just found. I went to go look at the post to see if there's any other comments from my home.
Please, please.

Speaker 1 We have an official update. Thank God.
Post-wedding? Because this was 28 days ago. Is it post-wedding? Oh, my God.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I don't know if it's post-wedding. It's okay, but it's an update nonetheless.
It's an update. Let's get into it.
So I met with Dave this morning. We talked for almost two hours about everything.

Speaker 1 I laid it out that I thought he was, at best, a shitty friend. I went through our long history of various things over the years that has me questioning our friendship.

Speaker 1 And they grew up at this house. Holy smokes.

Speaker 1 That was the bulk of our conversation. We then turned to the breakup with Leslie and the shit show of the last six months.

Speaker 1 Throughout the last six months, despite Leslie's craziness, I have bent over backwards to try and accommodate her feelings. She has shown up to my house in the middle of the night.

Speaker 1 I did not go for a restraining order when I go out. I do not go to places that I know her and her family like to go.

Speaker 1 She has implied to her family and mutual friends at various times that I cheated and/or that I took advantage of her financially, neither of which is true at all.

Speaker 1 I've held my tongue to not embarrass her about these things in front of her friends and family. Dave knows all of that and yet is demanding once again that I put Leslie's feelings before my own.

Speaker 1 I said, quote, you and everyone need to stop coddling her like she is a fucking child.

Speaker 1 Dave concedes that Leslie has been crazy and ridiculous since the breakup, but he says, quote, she feels she did not get closure after the relationship.

Speaker 1 She wants to have an evening where she can talk to you to get that closure. Not, not at the wedding.
Not a closure talk at the wedding that you're hosting at your house.

Speaker 1 Why does Dave want that at his wedding? Why is he entertaining this? Like, actually, though, Leslie deserves this final talk. What closure? You broke up.

Speaker 1 You lied lied to me about your extensive debt for four years. What are we going to do? It in between the cha-cha slide? It doesn't have to be the first date, but maybe year two.

Speaker 1 Oh, my goodness. This guy's asking a lot of OP.
Insane. Now to make this a closure thing is hard turn.
Get coffee in a public place. Yes, not at a wedding.

Speaker 1 Dave's like, well, I'm already paying for security, so you guys might as well have closure there.

Speaker 1 He also told me that Leslie has been very vigilant about paying off her debt and paid paid off almost $10,000 of the credit card debt. She wants to talk to me about her progress.

Speaker 1 Okay, not our problem. To see if that might cause me to change my mind.

Speaker 1 It will not.

Speaker 1 I asked him, quote, so do you expect me to go to the wedding and talk to her? Because I have her blocked everywhere. And date or not, I do not plan to say a single mumbling word to her.

Speaker 1 He said, quote, I fully expect she would lose it if y'all do not talk at the wedding. I told him, if that is the case, then for the good of my property, I can't have Leslie come.
Boom, that's it.

Speaker 1 And OP needed to hear that.

Speaker 1 Yep, I love this.

Speaker 1 If she is so unstable that I need to be coerced into a conversation with her, she is too unsafe to be a guest in any capacity in my home.

Speaker 1 So I've told him, based on what he has told me, Leslie cannot come to my house or on my land.

Speaker 1 I'm willing to still have the wedding at my place, but I cannot trust Leslie won't do something given all that you're telling me. Dave lost it at this point.
D now.

Speaker 1 He said, quote, fuck you and your shit. I don't need it.

Speaker 1 So I said, then the wedding is off.

Speaker 1 He left.

Speaker 1 So that is the state of things.

Speaker 1 It's Leslie 2.0, Dave.

Speaker 1 Holy.

Speaker 1 He just threw away a lifelong friendship for his cousin. For someone

Speaker 1 who can't

Speaker 1 maintain a set,

Speaker 1 a decent set of composure.

Speaker 1 Why? That's wild. Why? Why? What has Leslie done for you? That's so great.

Speaker 1 Like, I know this feels less, honestly, this second update, I'm like, it's starting to feel less like a thing about Leslie and more a thing about power. This guy wants to control it.

Speaker 1 And she's like, and OP's like, this is my land.

Speaker 1 This is crazy.

Speaker 1 Wow. I mean, you blew it.
And honestly,

Speaker 1 someone that's looking at venues and putting up a tent at my family's farm and like,

Speaker 1 this was such a gift. Like, this was truly a gift.
He saved you at minimum $10,000 by offering up his home. And now you have to find a location last minute.
That sucks so bad.

Speaker 1 And the location's like the whole thing. The whole thing.
And all you had to say is, like, Leslie, our wedding is not the time or place. Like, if you want closure, get it after.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Or you just say, like, I think it was weird. He walked into this conversation, like, reframing the wedding to be a closure moment for OP and Leslie.

Speaker 1 Did he think like pulling at that heartstring would work? Like, did he find that was like, did he think that was his best tactic? He's like, actually,

Speaker 1 this would be good for you as well. Like, that's kind of manipulative a little bit.
Yeah, she's paid off 10K. Like, maybe you should actually hear her out.

Speaker 1 No, I guess OP's got to throw a rager because they got the insurance. They just got to have a party now.

Speaker 1 What are you going to do? Oh my gosh, that sucks. And that's like a, that's a big friendship.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 A lot of people were speculating like, hey, maybe Dave is sleeping with Leslie and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like people went off the rails.
And OP does have a comment here.

Speaker 1 Can all but guarantee you that Dave is simply doing what Kim wants him to do. Yeah.
Doubt he is sleeping with her. I have no reason to suspect that based on his behavior and her behavior.

Speaker 1 I have no idea why he would want me to get back with her if that was what is going on.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Insane.
That would be a weird movie if

Speaker 1 Dave was sleeping with Leslie. I know.
And OP does want to make this clear, too, because a lot of people are like, well, everyone has debt.

Speaker 1 Like, just because she has debt doesn't mean he shouldn't be with her. And OP says, the debt isn't the issue for me.
It is that she lied about it. The line is the issue.

Speaker 1 The debt is what she just lied about. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 that's, that's tough. I think at this point, I feel like OP is being pretty fair.
I actually, I'd say I am, I am standing with OP. Yeah, pretty fair on this one.

Speaker 1 Pretty fair because it wasn't until the last update I was like, okay, now we're getting, now we're getting a little wild. We're getting all the tea.
Yeah.

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Speaker 1 This episode of Two Out Takes is brought to you by Wayfair. This is not your first rodeo.

Speaker 1 After all of the wild and somewhat uncomfortable stories we read on this show, one thing's for sure, life can be unhinged. That's why your home should be your calm, comfy, happy place.

Speaker 1 And Wayfair totally gets that. My happy place includes a nice sofa, an ottoman to kick my feet up on, and a blankie.
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A lot of my studio furniture is even from Wayfair, and they delivered it, came in, set it up.

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Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 This next one. Okay.

Speaker 1 13 days old. God, I love when they're fresh out of the oven.
I'm scared.

Speaker 1 It is coming from AITAH titled, Am I the Asshole for Banning My Husband from All Doctor Appointments Appointments After He Repeatedly Messes With Me While I'm Pregnant?

Speaker 1 So the dad's not allowed to go to the pregnancy appointments. What is he doing? Bringing a whoopee cushion? What's happening?

Speaker 1 So I'm currently pregnant, about six months along, and my husband has been doing this thing every time we go to a doctor appointment. He'll drive me to the appointment.

Speaker 1 Then, when I'm about to get in the car, he drives forward a little, then reverses, then drives forward again. He does this a few times, and it always frustrates me.

Speaker 1 He thinks it's hilarious and says he's just messing with me. I started to get really frustrated.
I'm already dealing with the physical and emotional toll of pregnancy.

Speaker 1 And this just feels like him poking fun at me when I'm already tired and stressed. I told him it bothers me, but he just brushed it off and said I'm overreacting and that he's just having fun.

Speaker 1 We had a big fight about it the other day. I tried to explain how it's making me feel, and he got defensive, saying I need to lighten up and that it's just a joke.

Speaker 1 I told him it wasn't funny anymore, and it wasn't something I wanted to deal with during my pregnancy.

Speaker 1 The final straw was when he did it again before a doctor appointment yesterday, and I was just done.

Speaker 1 I ended up calling my mom to take me instead and told my husband he was banned from all future appointments.

Speaker 1 Well, now he's furious. He's demanding to be there for the next appointment because it's the one where we'll find out the baby's gender.

Speaker 1 He says this is a huge moment, and I'm being unfair by not letting him come. I told him I need him to respect my boundaries, and this is one of the ways I'm doing that.

Speaker 1 But he keeps insisting it's just a silly little thing. And now he's calling me unreasonable for making a big deal about it.
Am I the asshole?

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 Unfair. You're being unfair by not letting him come.
Oh my gosh. This isn't a trip to the grocery store or the arcade, my guy.
I can't imagine when you're pregnant, like

Speaker 1 just what is going through your mind when you go for a regular checkup with the doctor, just because your body is not yours, like you're, you have a lot going on. Yeah.
And to just be like,

Speaker 1 not even a funny bit. So he parks and he pulls back and he goes front.
And he. It's like she's like, she'll open the door.
I'm in vision. And then he'll drive.
And then he'll drive.

Speaker 1 So it's like she's opening the door and like trying to get in the car. And he like lets his foot off the gas to like roll away.

Speaker 1 I'm, I'm like kind of scared because I'm like, okay. And then he backs up and it's like, what have you accidentally plowed her over with the door being open? And she got ran over by the car.

Speaker 1 Like 100%. This is so dangerous.
And she's six months pregnant. Like she's not, she's not little.
Like she's maybe

Speaker 1 a trimester at least, right? No, 100%. I think so.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 I'm like, this is so risky and like rude. And like, maybe she's got edema on her, her ankles, and she just wants to get in and relax and go to her appointment safely without added stress.

Speaker 1 And it's the fact that, okay, maybe one time is funny, but hey, I don't like this. Don't do it again.
Now you're going to still do it. And he keeps doing it.
That's what's weird.

Speaker 1 Also, it's red flagging to me when someone loves a joke that they can tell other people don't love because I think jokes are like a giving thing where it's like giving, it's like us it's something for us to share and laugh together and if the other person isn't laughing you just find pleasure in someone being like bamboozled a little bit or like you like it you like to like kind of stop stop someone in their tracks and I don't know I don't really like that kind of humor where it's like haha fuck you the car is not moving anymore

Speaker 1 like she's not laughing no it's almost like someone it's just like it's teasing it's belittling degrading like I don't know if you've ever had someone do this to you if like you ask for a dollar and then they're like oh, yeah, here.

Speaker 1 Oh, oh, no, here, I mean at this time. Oh, yeah, and they pull it away.
And it's like at a certain point, you just stop even wanting the dollar because you just feel so bad. Sick, dude.

Speaker 1 Like jokes that alienate someone. I think that's what it is.
Like, it's just not fun. And he's like, no,

Speaker 1 this, there's of all the times to do it when she's going to get to see the doctor for her baby. Yeah.
A little bit. And she's carrying a miracle.
He's going to miss the gender.

Speaker 1 What if the doctor was like, boy? No, it's a girl. No, it's a boy.
No, it's a girl. And he's like, oh, be serious.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Honestly, she should get him back that way somehow.

Speaker 1 Or should she be like, I'm at the front door? No, I'm at the back door. Or the front entrance.
I hate a gender reveal. Oh, me too.
They're so stupid. I hate it.
And I'm like,

Speaker 1 it's also like, I think we kind of have to change the name. Like, it is like, okay, it's a sex reveal because, you know, 100%.

Speaker 1 But I just think it's like, it's so frustrating to me when you watch a couple that they want, you can tell what they want. Yes.
And they don't feel like they're going to disappoint.

Speaker 1 And then they just like pout. And it's like, why did you do this publicly? Also, could you imagine being a baby growing up with that footage being out there of like parents being like, we want a girl?

Speaker 1 And then you see a video being like, oh, sorry, I was a boy. Yeah, no, I just saw one

Speaker 1 probably a couple of weeks ago now, but it's replaying in my head like it's fresh.

Speaker 1 Couple was doing it and they had like three little girls. They had like three daughters already.
And you can tell he wanted a boy and they got another girl. And he's just pissed stomping off.

Speaker 1 And it's like, your three daughters are there with you. Oh, that's sad.
It's really sad. Really sad.
It's just old-fashioned. It's, it's giving like newspaper, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 It's just like old. We don't do that stuff anymore.
No. No, no, no.
No. So, I don't know.
I'm kind of for this. Yeah.
I

Speaker 1 feel like he's got to earn back his ability to go. Like, hey, you're, I haven't cut you off from being in the birthing room yet, buddy.
So you're on thin ice.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think it's just like show respect until you make your partner feel safe again. I know.
That's the bare minimum.

Speaker 1 But can't you, can you hear the devil's advocates coming in and being like, but this is too far? Like blocking him from experiencing this. This is his child too.

Speaker 1 Like, can you hear the devil's advocates?

Speaker 1 And I honestly, if I put myself in his position, I, I, yeah, I'm like, oh, that sucks.

Speaker 1 But I also then go back to the fact that before taking this ability away of him coming, she just said, please stop. And he still kept going.
And that's just like a respect thing. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think so. I'm so curious to see what the comments think on this one.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Top comment, though. Not the asshole.
And honest question: Has he always been this much of an immature, disrespectful jerk? Woo! Because it's only going to get worse once your baby arrives. Good luck.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 that's the top comment. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And maybe they just said, like, good luck. Like, maybe it was nicer than I read it.
But the way you did it was like, good luck, good luck. That's how I'm envisioning it.

Speaker 1 Oh, good luck.

Speaker 1 Next comment down: yes, especially when he starts having to share you with somebody else, the baby, and isn't getting all your attention anymore, which is probably what this is actually about.

Speaker 1 Already jealous of the baby. Or the attention she's getting.

Speaker 1 And he wants to make it about him.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 I think you're spot on with that. Because this is how he gets some attention back.
This is how he gets a little control back. Some

Speaker 1 like she's the star of the show when they walk in there, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 And right before he's like, let me.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. Seems like he's going to take like a little stand-up class or something.
Just get that energy out somewhere else.

Speaker 1 He should.

Speaker 1 There's another comment here. So many with gold boxes.
People really were lighting them up.

Speaker 1 Not the asshole. He doesn't respect your very reasonable boundary.
His emotional intelligence needs some work. Also, jokes involving a vehicle and a pregnancy are not funny.
That's just scary.

Speaker 1 That's what I was saying. Like jokes involving a motor?

Speaker 1 There's been so many people that have like accidentally gotten ran over by their cars lately.

Speaker 1 And like cars freak me out. I feel as if like people's partners, when someone gets pregnant, they get ultra like sensitive.
They're like, oh, don't go down the stairs, babe.

Speaker 1 Or don't hold that magazine, babe. Yeah.
And this is going the opposite way. Like, let's play with motor vehicles.

Speaker 1 I don't think my partner's going to let me use a can opener when I'm pregnant if I ever go down that road. Like, there's no way.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 She's like, be careful with those mics, babe, at your show. Make sure they don't hit the bottom.
You need to adjust your mic. Okay, I'll come in.
Let me know. Let me know.
I'll be there. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, what?

Speaker 1 I literally, I'm so proud of her because if this would have been me,

Speaker 1 I would have,

Speaker 1 oh, I would have kicked the car. I would have put a dent in it.
I would have like, this, oh my God, this is such a bad thing to admit. So when I was a kid.
Did you kick a car?

Speaker 1 It was really bad. So my dad had this like old Toyota something.
It was like a really cute little two-door car in gold. And I was having a meltdown.
I think I was like seven, eight.

Speaker 1 And he was going somewhere. And I don't think, I think I didn't want him to go.
So I tried to get in the car so he couldn't go because I think he was going back to California from Minnesota.

Speaker 1 So I was like,

Speaker 1 I was trying to throw a fit. And so I sat in the front seat of the car and I put my feet on the door and like kicked it out super hard to the point I actually bent the door.

Speaker 1 upon itself like in the frame and he needed to like get a whole new door oh it like wouldn't shut right anymore you like mess with the like frame of the car yeah yeah no like strong little girl i was like a little hulk i don't know adrenaline took over it's really sweet though because you didn't want dad to go you didn't want him to go or like it was something like that and i'm just like so proud of her because like if this were me, I would have put dents in that car.

Speaker 1 Like, or I would have done the opposite and been like, oh, he's, he's not getting enough attention and like suppressed my needs to like help my partner because he's mad. Oh,

Speaker 1 why do we do that? I know. Oh, my gosh.
Curious if there's any comments from OP. I mean, it's 13 days old.
We should have a few. Yeah.

Speaker 1 She's just busy, you know?

Speaker 1 She's just buying things for the nursery, I guess. I know.
OP does respond to that one about saying it's not even funny. You're right.
It's not even funny.

Speaker 1 And I don't know why he kept doing it as if we've never talked about it before. But he said that my decision was way out of line and claimed I'm trying to rob him from being a father.
Whoa.

Speaker 1 And even said that he's worried what I might do when the birth of our baby comes. And now his mom is trying to talk some sense into me, but I already told her to talk to her son, not me.

Speaker 1 Whoa.

Speaker 1 He's involving his mom. That's when you know.

Speaker 1 That's when you know. His mom's on the other line.
Goodness gracious. Thing is, he does this in other occasions.
He's always been the jokester of the family.

Speaker 1 Usually, I don't get so upset about his pranks, but this is just frustrating.

Speaker 1 Also, I forgot that his mom told me that I'm being hormonal and that I'm taking it out on her son because she thought my decision was over the top. But I don't know.
That's why I'm asking here.

Speaker 1 I hate this comment though. People are like, Why don't you just drive yourself?

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 okay.

Speaker 1 And OP goes, I can't drive from pre-existing medical issues, and my mom has agreed to help.

Speaker 1 Why don't you just deliver the baby yourself and just call it a day? Which her husband obviously knows that she can't drive. So, again, for him to be so

Speaker 1 despicable, like she's relying on him. That's her only way to get to the doctor.
You should, like, it's so nice. She has her mom and her mom will support her and help her, but like,

Speaker 1 she shouldn't have to do that when she has a partner. Yeah.
And I feel as if like this opportunity that's happened, this, what's happening is OP's is

Speaker 1 OP's partner's chance to show that he does have what it takes to be a father and be patient and respectful. So if he wasn't throwing a fit, it'd be like, oh, okay, it's okay.
Like he feels bad.

Speaker 1 He said sorry. So now you can go to the appointments, you know like but you're like really shitting the bed right now and making it a bigger deal yeah calling her hormonal

Speaker 1 get over it calling a pregnant woman hormonal wild instantly i think we should be able to put adults in timeout and i think if you call a pregnant woman hormonal and try to like you're overreacting your your hormones it's okay it's okay

Speaker 1 instant timeout Like, I don't know where we need to put people, but like they need to go in a closet. Like immediately, like five minutes at least.

Speaker 1 I honestly, i was thinking about as you said that i'm like i feel like i put myself in timeout when i'm when i'm like not well yeah i'm like i need five i need a good five i during shark week i've realized like i go i go crazy i'm like well one i'm a hypochondriac but then i'm like okay is like pm dd starting to fit like i don't know i literally I almost bit my fiancé's head off the other day because he didn't drop my package off at FedEx.

Speaker 1 And I'm, and I'm thinking about it now. And I'm like, he ran out of time.

Speaker 1 It happens. But in the moment, I was like, the world is ending.
Like, I can't trust you. I think I have PMDD.
I'm like, what the fuck, Morgan? Like, that was crazy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Could you imagine if, like, while you were throwing that fit, he was like, you're hormonal? That just like it would make it worse. Makes it so much worse.
It would make it worse. But I know, I know.

Speaker 1 I was like, I was on one because I went from like being mad about that. And then I got on a plane and I put on.
Have you seen the new Muvasa movie? I have not. Cried my eyes out the whole flight.

Speaker 1 Cried my eyes out. Whole flight.
Just crying. I've got a picture.
I don't know what it is about planes. Planes really make me cry.
Okay, hold on. I read this somewhere.
What is it?

Speaker 1 I think it's in Amy Poehler's book. She goes, I always cry on a plane.
Okay, I cannot watch a movie on the plane. It could be the happiest fucking movie.
I'm bawling.

Speaker 1 I cry all the time on a plane, but I don't know what it is. And if someone can figure it out,

Speaker 1 I've heard of this phenomenon. Because, like, I cry all the time.
What's like the plane movie that's gotten you the most? I'm trying to think.

Speaker 1 Like I'll even just journal on a plane and I'm in tears.

Speaker 1 Shared your own thoughts. And I'm like, what a trip.

Speaker 1 My God, my grandma's getting old and it's beautiful to still see her.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, and I'm like going.

Speaker 1 Planes are emotional. I don't know why.
Maybe it's because like you could see at the world. You could see where you live and it's really small and you're like, wow, we're so much bigger than this.
Oh,

Speaker 1 I think so.

Speaker 1 AI overview here coming from Google. People cry on planes for a combination of psychological and

Speaker 1 physiological reasons. Emotional factors.
Travel can be stressful and emotional.

Speaker 1 Physical effects of altitude. The lower air pressure in the cabin can cause mild hypoxia, which can lead to mood imbalances and feeling more emotional.
Okay, so I'm having hypoxia. Hypoxia.

Speaker 1 Okay, I would never tell someone they're too hormonal, though they're being hormonal, but if I saw you sobbing during Mufasa, I'd say you're being hormonal. It was ridiculous.

Speaker 1 I'm literally, I'm crying, and it was like a happy song. It's like, I always wanted a brother

Speaker 1 and I'm bawling. I'm like, what the fuck? These CGI lions, it's so beautiful.

Speaker 1 What is wrong with me?

Speaker 1 Nothing. It's just the hypoxia, whatever.
Hypoxia. I actually have a picture of like recent flights and movies just to keep track of which ones I've cried on.
Mufasa is the most recent.

Speaker 1 I've had like a lot of flights lately. Yeah, what else? I'm trying to think of the last.
Oh, I watched a couple episodes of RuPaul's drag race and I cried on a plane. Oh, but that is emotional.

Speaker 1 They always put like three episodes of one season of something. That is, that is quite emotional.
Good Rich,

Speaker 1 Good Rich. The new one with Michael Keaton and Mila Kunis.
Ooh, cried.

Speaker 1 Juror number two.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Directed by Clint Eastwood. It's got Nicholas Holt, Tony Colette, cried.

Speaker 1 A real pain.

Speaker 1 Okay, I fell asleep in the middle of that. Jesse Eisenberg, Kieran McCalkin, cried.
Cried.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 I've got quite the list here. Wait, you're on lots of planes.
I've unfortunately had too many flights. No,

Speaker 1 that's a cool thing, I feel. My old ass.

Speaker 1 Okay, I watched that on a plane. Aubrey Plaza.
And Bill Hayter. No.
Nope, not Bill Hayter. Maddie Ziegler.

Speaker 1 No, who's the old guy? Oh, I'm thinking of a different Abu Plaza movie. An 824 Abu Plaza.
Ooh, just better. Well, I should watch that one too because I'll probably cry.

Speaker 1 But I just like, there's something about it. So I don't know.
Emotions get the best of us. Oh, yeah.
But I think she's being quite reasonable in this, actually. I think she's just fed up.
Fed up.

Speaker 1 It's not funny. Up.

Speaker 1 No official update on this one yet.

Speaker 1 That's the last comment we got from OP 13 days ago. I'm hoping for an update.
Yeah. I'm hoping he starts making amends and groveling a little more.

Speaker 1 I hope he just says one simple apology before this baby's about to pop. She'll be in there by herself, otherwise.
Yeah, come on.

Speaker 1 Driving herself home. Come on.
Ridiculous.

Speaker 1 Up next,

Speaker 1 this one has a lot of gray area. I think we're going to really put your fairness to the test.
Ooh, talking about things with gray areas on the internet. Yay.

Speaker 1 Scary.

Speaker 1 Ah!

Speaker 1 Everyone in the comments already, you're wrong.

Speaker 1 So this one is titled, Would I Be the Asshole If I Keep My Ex's Life Insurance Payout Instead of Giving It To His Pregnant Girlfriend? Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Speaker 1 Instead of giving, whoa.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 My ex and I were together for seven years, and we got engaged two years ago. Around that time, we both took out life insurance policies, listing each other as beneficiaries.

Speaker 1 It made sense at the time because we were planning a future together. Then, six months before the wedding, he cheated on me.

Speaker 1 I was devastated, but I forgave him because I didn't want to throw away seven years of my life. I thought we could move past it.
But two months before the wedding, he blindsided me.

Speaker 1 He left me for the same woman he had cheated with.

Speaker 1 I was completely heartbroken. I begged him to reconsider, but he told me he had moved on and that I should too.

Speaker 1 It took me a long time to heal, but I eventually accepted that he had made his choice. Over time, I worked on rebuilding my life.
That was a year ago.

Speaker 1 I updated my own life insurance policy, assuming he would do the same. Then last week, I got the unexpected news that he had passed away suddenly.
Oh my God.

Speaker 1 It was shocking, but what surprised me even more was getting a call from his sister. Apparently, he never changed his beneficiary, which means I am set to receive a hundred thousand dollar payout.

Speaker 1 Now, his girlfriend, the woman he left me for, has reached out asking me to give her the money. She's pregnant with his child and currently unemployed.

Speaker 1 She says the money should go to her and the baby because I am just his ex.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I understand that this is a difficult situation and I have sympathy for her child, but at the end of the day, this was his responsibility. He had an entire year to update his policy, and he didn't.

Speaker 1 I wasn't expecting this money, but legally, it is mine. I didn't take anything from anyone.
It was his choice to leave things as they were.

Speaker 1 I don't think I should be obligated to give it up, especially considering how he treated me. This isn't about revenge or pettiness.

Speaker 1 It's simply about the fact that I was the named beneficiary, and I see no reason why I should be the one to fix a mistake that he made.

Speaker 1 That being said, I don't want to be heartless. I'm considering setting aside a small amount for the baby because none of this is the child's fault.

Speaker 1 But at the same time, I don't think I should feel guilty for keeping what was legally left to me. Am I the asshole?

Speaker 1 This one's intense. This is pretty intense.

Speaker 1 And, like, I don't know. I don't know why.
It's it is only a day old, okay? But OP has deleted this post.

Speaker 1 I have not read any of the comments. I don't know where they fall.
But to like delete your post after a day. Do you think it's because the comments got crazy? I don't know.

Speaker 1 I'm like, I'm trying not to peek, which is so unlike me. Oh my gosh.
It's so unlike you. Okay.

Speaker 1 This is what I love about Reddit and this show and just talking about things because I always have an opinion right off the bat. Okay.
And I never am like, first opinion is the right opinion, right?

Speaker 1 Like I always need to like talk it out. My knee jerk was like, that's not your money.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But I also need to talk these things out. And that's why, because I know that there are things I'm never always seeing, like, right off the bat.

Speaker 1 I just feel her saying, first of all, it was very defensive wording. Very.

Speaker 1 So you know, she's getting bombarded. Yeah.
And she was like, listen, I don't know. She kept blaming it on his mistake to not changing it, but that doesn't make it her money, in my opinion.

Speaker 1 I mean, he was the one still paying the policy. I just wonder, and like, maybe this is wishful thinking.

Speaker 1 I'm wondering if he left it and it wasn't like an oversight, it was genuinely like, I'm, I feel so bad for what I did. Like, this is what she deserves.

Speaker 1 If anything happens to me, not expecting, like, okay, that's where I'm like, but that is like, that's probably fairy tale, like, cuckoo, Morgan, wishful thinking.

Speaker 1 No, no, that Loki took my breath away. Maybe that's a sweet thing.
But I'm like,

Speaker 1 I don't know. and then you know he could just be like it was out of sight out of mind like that i could see myself like not updating it yeah because it's like i don't know like

Speaker 1 last like yeah last thing i don't know like like the only issue i have with it is being like no matter what she didn't earn that money if that makes sense yeah like i understand like like you know when people have divorces and then like Some of whatever that person was making at that time, some of it goes to their spouse.

Speaker 1 Like if like my friend was married to a guy whose album, who like wrote a very successful album and she was there supporting him during it.

Speaker 1 And like, I like that kind of stuff I get where I'm like, you were there or you were a part of it. I don't know.
This is like.

Speaker 1 You were so removed. And she doesn't have, I don't know, there's nobody to take care of except the kid.
Yeah. And okay, well, and here's where I go on that.
Like,

Speaker 1 I'm like, when people do life insurance, typically it's like, it's to pay for anything for their funeral, right?

Speaker 1 funeral ensure their family offspring whatever is taken care of if the baby's his right like because that you know i don't know whatever you could like specify like you do dna test let's make sure the baby's his

Speaker 1 and then i'm gonna put some aside for the child i think that would be the bare minimum she has to do to be honest Yeah, because I also wonder where his will sits in all of this, if he had one.

Speaker 1 Because if that's talking about like,

Speaker 1 oh my God, I feel so financial talking about this. But I'm like, if there is money being left to his kid,

Speaker 1 and that's just like a sum of money he forgot about. I mean, he's got to have other assets, you would think.
I'm like, if I died tomorrow, who would my Venmo balance go to? I don't know. Next of kin.

Speaker 1 My Venmo?

Speaker 1 Like, I'm thinking like little other pockets of money you don't know you have. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I know. I just made a will.
Whoa. It was really intense.
I had stickers on it. No, yeah.
Why do I think wills are like pieces of paper? I have a little binder. It came in like a big ass binder.

Speaker 1 Like my lawyer meant business. Whoa.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But it was really, it was like, it was a really hard thing to do. And I'm not like, I'm not married yet.
We're engaged and we are going to do a prenup and stuff.

Speaker 1 But like, if something happened to me today, I would want to make sure he has something.

Speaker 1 And if I wouldn't have made my will, it wouldn't have gone to me. It would have immediately just gone to my parents as my next of kin.
He would have gotten nothing.

Speaker 1 So I made sure, like, if we are together at my time of death, he's taken care of. Wow.
But, like, this guy didn't do anything. And, like, don't you think, like, you have a baby on the way?

Speaker 1 Like, I guess, like, I get where she's coming from, where it's like, it shouldn't be my problem to fix a mistake he made. But that wasn't a mistake.
That was just, he just didn't do something.

Speaker 1 Does that make sense? Like, it was an oversight. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I know. I wish we had like more comments from OP because like, I think context for me would really matter too because like she says like, OP blindsided me two months before the wedding.

Speaker 1 Okay, two months before the wedding, you're probably losing all your deposits.

Speaker 1 I'm like, Did you lose all that money? How did that split happen?

Speaker 1 I keep forgetting about the breakup part of this. And then that kind of makes me understand when there's like emotion, like strong emotion behind a decision.

Speaker 1 Sometimes you're like, that might not be like completely grounded in logic. It might be something that she needs.
I think for me, I know like she said it, like, this isn't about pettiness.

Speaker 1 This isn't about revenge.

Speaker 1 And And I, I, I understand, like, where it's just like such a mistake, like, but you get a hundred thousand dollars, like walking away from a hundred thousand dollars, like that is life-changing money.

Speaker 1 So, I, yeah, I get it.

Speaker 1 Like, I get just like in a way, you could almost, even if you are wrong, convince yourself that it's right and justified because it is such a huge amount of money and life-changing.

Speaker 1 And that heartbreak sounds also

Speaker 1 life-changing and

Speaker 1 a thing that could blind you in other areas like give you a blind spot because i can't imagine how like hurtful that was how how hard that is to get over yeah so then on accident you run into all of his money it's kind of insane i did a commercial and they didn't give me a good lunch and i kept my tank top that they gave me and i was like i deserve it you do but it's like little things like that where you're like i don't know does that make sense like when sometimes we're like brokenhearted we think things belong to us that maybe sometimes they don't just because we're hurt completely agree And I think that's what she's kind of rationalizing here.

Speaker 1 And maybe she was eaten up in the comments, and that's why she deleted it.

Speaker 1 Let's see. Top comment: quote, you are just the home wrecker.

Speaker 1 Like basically implying that's what OP should have said to the girlfriend. And someone goes, this is what OP should counter with.

Speaker 1 If OP is just the ex and a fair partner is so important to him, why did he not change it?

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 i don't know i wish we knew if this person who passed like was a forgetful person or was like a very intentional person because your whole theory is juicy i want contacts and op deleted account deleted the post

Speaker 1 the account's gone account everything

Speaker 1 everything

Speaker 1 so i'm like where are you

Speaker 1 so it sounds like people were siding with op in the comments i think so I'm going to try to find, see if like anyone actually gave a vote here because most people are just like, most people are, they're, I'm gonna be honest, they're maybe being a little insensitive.

Speaker 1 They're like, take your money, huh? Well, someone goes, technically, she's also an ex-girlfriend now. Whoa, dude, read the room.
I'm like, I don't,

Speaker 1 I don't know about that. I'm like,

Speaker 1 he died. Let's

Speaker 1 someone responds to it and goes, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch.

Speaker 1 I'm like, yeah, I felt votes. I felt uncomfortable reading it.
Is she seriously pregnant? Like, you know, for a fact, or is she just saying it? Also, it is legally yours.

Speaker 1 I don't know if there's repercussions to giving it away. I'm sure it's considered a gift, and she'd owe a hefty chunk to the IRS.
Like, how would you transfer it without them finding out? I'd keep it.

Speaker 1 And if the kid is real, fork over maybe 10, 20K.

Speaker 1 Because ultimately, I mean, we both agree, like, legally, yes, this is hers. We're talking about morally, right?

Speaker 1 We're like just trying to figure out, like, was this an oversight that she should worry about? Or

Speaker 1 I know. Someone goes, keep it, but be prepared for the baby mama to try to sue you for it.

Speaker 1 It's a fight.

Speaker 1 It's a fight you can afford. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 1 might not be fun, but

Speaker 1 I don't know. I would, personally, what would you do?

Speaker 1 So hard to imagine yourself in their shoes, but. Is it weird that I would like,

Speaker 1 would you go off grid? Just block them all and go off grid. Just like move.
Go into hiding. That's not enough money to like pick up and go.
Actually, it is.

Speaker 1 I don't fucking know in the right country maybe yeah

Speaker 1 okay maybe and this is i'm a confrontational girly oh i think i asked to get coffee with her

Speaker 1 and if i'm getting good vibes okay i'm i don't know i don't because i want honestly the comments made me realize like you need to know if this baby was his um

Speaker 1 is she even pregnant maybe i'm hiring a private detective i think i would be okay with some of the money going towards that yeah because what if their relationship wasn't doing well? No,

Speaker 1 and you never know, or like,

Speaker 1 but what if, like, he was completely in love with her, and this is his baby, and he cares about his baby, and blah, blah, blah. You never know.

Speaker 1 I would absolutely need a DNA test because he could have died, and she could have been like, oh my God, he has money. Now I'll get nothing.

Speaker 1 So she could have gone out and purposefully tried to get pregnant and then just say it's his.

Speaker 1 You know, also depends on math when the baby comes.

Speaker 1 okay is this crazy

Speaker 1 you take some of the money for you because

Speaker 1 he made a mistake i guess yeah which still feels weird and then you give some of the money to his parents and then they have to decide i like that i like that you give all the money to charity and you buy a nice pair of jeans

Speaker 1 okay phoebe buffet

Speaker 1 take it easy over there i don't know People got to eat. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't know, man. This is this tough situation.
I guess you could give it to a charity that would feed thousands. 100%.
Fuck.

Speaker 1 Like, did he have any causes he loved? I don't know. That's a tough one.
You guys, we might have to put this to a poll. Yes.
We might have to put this one to a poll.

Speaker 1 Go to Spotify for the poll because this is, I don't know. I still don't know where I fall.
I'm like, maybe they split it three ways. I don't know.
Oh, yeah. I think she should definitely.

Speaker 1 ask if they need help covering the funeral.

Speaker 1 I feel as if she should cover the funeral and then walk. I don't know.
My opinion's changing every second. I don't know.
Oh my God.

Speaker 1 We're not going to tie us down to one thing. We're going to see what the people think.
Maybe that'll. Yeah, do the poll.
Do the poll, everyone.

Speaker 1 I'm scared. Do the poll.

Speaker 1 Do the poll and be nice.

Speaker 1 Moving on to this next one.

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Speaker 1 can you do multiple of these a day or you can't sometimes i've do three good for you that's crazy it hurts my brain yeah a lot You're like, I don't know. You're an asshole by the end.

Speaker 1 I like run out of things to say. Yeah.

Speaker 1 This next one. I will not run out of things to say.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Seven days old, coming from AITH, titled, My Husband Needs to Touch My Breasts to Fall Asleep.

Speaker 1 I'm exhausted and need a divorce. Am I the asshole? Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Throw away because my main has some personal info.

Speaker 1 And pretty much what the title says, my 26 female, husband, 30 male, and I have been together for five years, and he needs my breasts, boob, whatever, to fall asleep.

Speaker 1 Every single day, he goes to bed at around 10.30, 11 something, and calls me over when I'm not even feeling sleepy, just so he can touch my boobs for his own sleep.

Speaker 1 From the very beginning of our relationship, he's had this habit. At first, I thought it was cute and kind of endearing sometimes, and I didn't mind it.

Speaker 1 But ever since we're married, it's become suffocating. It gets worse with how no matter what position I try to sleep in, he always reaches for me.
If I turn away, he'll spoon me and still find a way.

Speaker 1 If I push his hand away or say I'm not in the mood to be touched, he either whines like I'm depriving him of something essential or gets genuinely upset.

Speaker 1 Sorry, I'm gagged over here.

Speaker 1 He claims it helps him relax and fall asleep, but but I feel like I'm just an emotional support object at this point.

Speaker 1 I've tried compromising and suggesting that he hold my hand, cuddle a pillow, or even just rest his hand on my stomach instead. Nope, it has to be my breasts, or he just can't sleep.

Speaker 1 And if I try to set boundaries, he makes me feel guilty, saying things like, so now you don't love me anymore? Or this is a normal thing between partners.

Speaker 1 This has been wearing on me for years, but lately, I just dread going to bed. I feel like my body isn't even mine in my own home.

Speaker 1 The main reason this makes me so mad is because this is the only form of affection I get from him.

Speaker 1 Forget cuddles or random kisses. He doesn't even give me a hug.
A hug? No.

Speaker 1 The last time I got one was on my birthday, and that was a year ago. He only needs my boobs.

Speaker 1 I finally snapped last week after a long day when he reached for me again and I told him I can't live like this anymore.

Speaker 1 He got angry and accused me of being dramatic and said I was threatening our marriage over something so small.

Speaker 1 But to me, it's not small. It's a constant daily violation of my comfort.
What makes this even worse for me is the fact that my husband does nothing to help me at home.

Speaker 1 He goes to work at 8 and I go at 5. He comes back by 5 p.m.
and I come back by 7. From 7 p.m.

Speaker 1 to 12, I have to make up for all the chores at home, cooking, cleaning, laundry, et cetera, while he plays some games in his room. On weekends, he doesn't even help me.
He refuses to do anything.

Speaker 1 So naturally, I have to make up for being the bigger person. And when it's time for him to fall asleep, he calls me over just to touch my breast while I have to wait it out until he sleeps.

Speaker 1 So then I can go back to housework. He doesn't lift a finger.
I know this sounds stupid and ridiculous. I I probably sound like a whiny child venting, but I can't anymore.

Speaker 1 I called my sister who I'm closest to and told her everything. She said that I'm weird for divorcing over something like this.

Speaker 1 I called my best friend of a decade and she said that she understands me, but divorce is just overblown. I'm going crazy.
I don't even know if I'm being so ridiculous at this point.

Speaker 1 I don't even know how to bring this up to my mom, mother-in-law, or anyone else at all. I feel like an asshole for considering divorce over something like this.

Speaker 1 Am I the asshole? Will people even take me seriously?

Speaker 1 Dude, duh.

Speaker 1 I want to get her a taser. Me too.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Get away. Stop talking to me.
Stop. Okay.

Speaker 1 Also, her friends and family need to know she's not getting a divorce because he wants to touch her boob. She's getting a divorce because she's being deprived of like a partner.
Like he won't.

Speaker 1 The last time he hugged her was on her fucking birthday.

Speaker 1 That's the saddest shit I've ever heard. If you haven't gotten a hug in a year, like, I would, I would combust.
Like, it's less about combust.

Speaker 1 It's more about, like, he's absent. No, I totally, and I totally get where it's like, it's not even like intimacy anymore.

Speaker 1 It's literally, you just feel like a squeaky stress toy because it's like, if you're not getting a hug, if you're not getting kisses, if you're not getting any other form of physical affection, which is people's love language, it's like, that is so important.

Speaker 1 Like our bodies, like literally our nervous systems and our brains and like chemicals, like we need that. A lot of us need that.
Like,

Speaker 1 I need to be crushed like an elephant sometimes. Like, see, that's so funny.
I, physical touch is not one of my love languages.

Speaker 1 See, I like, I need, like, if I don't get a hug, I just like, yeah, I have best friends like that.

Speaker 1 And I've dated people where they're like, if, if you don't touch me or hug me or hold my hand, I think you're mad at me.

Speaker 1 And it's like, it's, I think, acknowledging when you have a different love language, especially with touch with somebody

Speaker 1 and not making that change is not good. Like, it's like, it's him not knowing how to like meet his partner halfway and show physical anything at all.

Speaker 1 It's just confusing because it's like, how do you expect her to enjoy being a stress ball if there's no other form of like intimacy and touch?

Speaker 1 I can't get over the, I wonder if he sucked his thumb till later in life. What has he been doing the whole time? No, but like, I've heard a whole thing, like,

Speaker 1 like, what if he was a baby who sucked his thumb till he was really old?

Speaker 1 Or he sucked his mommy's titty till he was really old. Honestly.
And he has, like, like, like, it's giving, like, like, like, man-boy a little bit.

Speaker 1 I heard this a while ago, but if, like, there's a, a guy or someone that has, like, an oral fixation with boobs, it's like they weren't breastfed long enough. Maybe that could be him.

Speaker 1 Maybe he wasn't breastfed long enough. Or there's just something under the hood that has nothing to do with her,

Speaker 1 but just his comfort. But your partner is, your partner's identity is not solely your comfort.
That's a

Speaker 1 dangerous position to be in. And I, I understand why she's like feeling trapped.

Speaker 1 I'm overwhelmed for her. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I'm a boob girl. I love my boobs.
I'll hold my boobs when I'm stressed. Yeah.
I love them. It's like two little hot pockets when you're cold.
Yeah. Oh,

Speaker 1 put your hands under there. Oh, my gosh.
It's so nice. I know.
I could actually tuck stuff away under mine. It could be a hiding spot too.
Oh, 100%.

Speaker 1 You know, like, oh, I put my debit card way under there. Yeah, they're fun.
Like, I get it. But, like, again, you got to give a little more.
And I think it's not, it's really not about the boobs.

Speaker 1 That's just the tip of the tit. It really is.
Like, it's more so about the fact he doesn't help around the house. He's not a partner.
Yeah. It's not about the boobs.

Speaker 1 She's, yeah, it's not about the boobs. She's not being met.
And I can't imagine what it's like for someone to not like show you love and then to be like, get over here. I need to hold your tit.

Speaker 1 Goodness gracious. I know he's not saying it like that, but that's

Speaker 1 coming off like. No, no, he's literally like,

Speaker 1 come here. Where's my toy?

Speaker 1 Going to bed. Come on.
Come on. Get over here.
I don't care if you're tired or not. Come on, stressed toy.
Literally. I would try to ruin it for him in any way I could.
And that,

Speaker 1 people would call me petty. People would say have a better communication style.
But I I would literally, like, I would get, you know, like a sound pad.

Speaker 1 And like, anytime he goes to like squeeze, I'd be like,

Speaker 1 I would, I would,

Speaker 1 yeah, I would start ruining it for him. I, there's no way I'm gonna, I'm, if I can't have peace, neither should you neither can you.
I'd like watch YouTube videos really loud on my phone. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Be like, oh, if this is you finding peace, this is me finding peace. If I got to sit here, I'm going to put on smosh.

Speaker 1 That's what we're doing. Best of Angela moments.
Okay. Oh, yeah.
He won't be able to sleep.

Speaker 1 That's so messy. I'm trying to think of what else you could do to your boob to make him be like, get off.

Speaker 1 I'd like put like spikes on it or something. I don't know.
Ooh, I like that. Just do something that's like, this doesn't feel good.
What a fucking loser.

Speaker 1 I hate him. Go buy a doll, dude.

Speaker 1 Go get a doll. Why did that come into my mind? Yeah.
This because obviously he doesn't want to talk to her. I mean, maybe he does, but he like, there are things that he doesn't want to deal with.

Speaker 1 He doesn't care to talk to her at all. He's trying to fall asleep.
You can get a boob. He

Speaker 1 should buy that thing that was on Meet the Parents or Meet the Falkers or whatever that the guy had. Like the

Speaker 1 fake chest.

Speaker 1 And the grandpa's like, he's trying to, like Jack, the character, Robert De Niro, trying to breastfeed the baby. He should just buy himself a top.
Yeah. The next time he's like, come over here.

Speaker 1 She just throws him this like little tit ball or something. And she goes, here you go, babe.
Bought this for you. Oh, you know what she does? And she goes like this.

Speaker 1 Here's your own boob to hold so i can go wash your dishes and i can be in two places at once that's what she should do okay okay so i found something he can get

Speaker 1 silicone breastplate boom fake breasts for cosplay 38.99 but morgan those breastplates won't also clean the floors and do the sheets you're right like come on it's not a good sign i

Speaker 1 it could be easy to fall into right like you're with someone and at first it starts out 50-50

Speaker 1 and then all of a sudden you realize you're the one 75% cleaning. Like I think you could slip into it easily without knowing 100%.

Speaker 1 But I'm so curious if they slipped into it or if their relationship, that was always the dynamic. Yeah.
Because I couldn't deal with a dynamic like that.

Speaker 1 Because I understand like how she said the boob holding thing wasn't bad in the beginning and it was like, oh, I'm needed. This is cute.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But then if your cup is not being filled or whatever, whatever, like if you're not being loved on, and it's just you giving your body, that's a hard place to be in.

Speaker 1 Let's get into the comments.

Speaker 1 So, for the 25 years before he met you, did he just not sleep? Man child

Speaker 1 has to go.

Speaker 1 So true.

Speaker 1 What was he doing when he was like in college or in high school? Next comment down.

Speaker 1 Nah, he must have used his mom's.

Speaker 1 That's what I was worried about. That's disgusting.

Speaker 1 That's one of the things I just, sometimes I wish I couldn't read.

Speaker 1 Good luck.

Speaker 1 Good luck. Good luck.
Next comment down, we joke, but genuinely could

Speaker 1 they say something really, I just don't, yeah, no, no, no. Yeah.
No.

Speaker 1 This person goes, it's not even a need because let's face it, your hand really doesn't have any more reaction to that particular skin than anywhere else on her body if he's not touching her in a sexual way.

Speaker 1 My guess is that he needs the comfort of being able to control her in order to fall asleep. He's unsettled without that control, and it bothers him enough to keep him awake.

Speaker 1 He needs his favorite possession in his possession. This guy doesn't have a weird little quirk or even mommy issues.

Speaker 1 It's way more serious and dangerous than that this comment just wrecked me to my fucking core because it's like a power thing to be like drop everything you're doing and come over here

Speaker 1 i want to take a shower after that comment oh

Speaker 1 i

Speaker 1 there could be some some juice to that yeah and it's like a stop it come over here

Speaker 1 i'm like

Speaker 1 i need to go look at opi's account like do we have any comments like you you good like where are we at here?

Speaker 1 Oh my God. Okay.
We do have, we do have some comments.

Speaker 1 I tried suggesting so many things, but he just wants my boobs. He says, I cannot sleep otherwise.
He's not ready to compromise at all.

Speaker 1 He calls me over when he is ready to sleep, and I have to stay there, mummified, until he falls asleep.

Speaker 1 Half of the time he wakes up if he notices me gone, which is when I try to finish the housework way earlier.

Speaker 1 You have to sit there mummified. He probably doesn't even let her go on a phone.
Yeah. Or listen to anything.
Okay, yeah. So then I think this is a control thing.
I think that's a comment.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 He doesn't do housework. If he had done it, then I wouldn't be complaining like this.
He spends his free hours doing things he likes.

Speaker 1 If I stop doing the work, then I get yelled at and he becomes upset, which is the reason I do it. He expects me to cook, clean, and also be there when he calls me.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, this done. This turned.

Speaker 1 This made a turn.

Speaker 1 Uh-uh.

Speaker 1 This is, this is bad.

Speaker 1 When he calls me during chores, I have to leave them midway and wait until he falls asleep.

Speaker 1 Then I pray to the gods he doesn't wake up noticing me gone while I return to cleaning, which is the last thing I do. And I actually had a night out once with my friends after marriage.

Speaker 1 It was kind of recent. I think I got over 50 plus missed calls, and I was being spammed until I reached home.
And I'm not allowed to go on work trips for this very reason.

Speaker 1 Because he needs her fucking nipple.

Speaker 1 This guy's gotta go on a walk. This guy's gotta go to school.
This guy's gotta go to therapy. There's not, there's, I'm like, I'm like really freaked out by him.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 she can't go on work trips. Her career is being impact.

Speaker 1 She had one night out with friends. One.
One. One night out with friends.
No, that's not fair. That's not fair.

Speaker 1 Unreal.

Speaker 1 I want to.

Speaker 1 This is so bad, but like the first thing that came into my mind is like, I kind of want to hit his hands with a baseball bat. And like, I know violence isn't the answer.

Speaker 1 Okay, I get it. I do.
I get it. I'm so sorry.
I'm like, maybe we can like tape oven mitts. Like, you know, like tape some oven mitts around his hands.
Like, I don't, I don't know.

Speaker 1 I'm like, maybe we can hypnotize him. Like, what can we do that's not violent that will make this stop?

Speaker 1 I would, yeah, if I had like all the money in the world, I would just send him a sex doll every day or something and be like, but then you know that that would confront him being like, oh, this isn't about the boob in my hand because, oh, you can give me all the boobs I want.

Speaker 1 And it's actually not about that. This is because you want to control another person.
And that makes you insecure and tiny and dumb.

Speaker 1 Agreed. Agree.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 I think there's a lot worse things you could say that would also be applicable.

Speaker 1 Bottom line, she's got to go. This is not one.
Do not let your family and friends convince you. You're overreacting.
Yeah. You genuinely need to go.
And it's.

Speaker 1 It's not about the boobs. I know, like, that's the headline here, but it's not.

Speaker 1 It's everything. That's why I'm bummed that her friends and her mom like didn't really pick up on it because it's so clearly not about the boob.

Speaker 1 It's no, but this is why, like, there's some people that like come on the show and they'll be like, it's so sad people have to turn to Reddit. And I'm like,

Speaker 1 no, like, thank God people can turn to Reddit. Thank God people can go to a place where they're going to get pretty neutral, unbiased advice because we don't have a dog in this game.

Speaker 1 Like, oh, I don't like that saying anymore, even. Like, we don't have, we don't have like there's nothing for you to win or lose when you're helping someone that you don't know.
Exactly.

Speaker 1 So I'm like, thank God Reddit came for the win on this one because her mom and

Speaker 1 her friends and whoever else, sister, not having her back.

Speaker 1 Like, if I heard my best friend was doing all the cooking, all the cleaning, and then she had to sit like a mummy while her partner massaged her breast to fall asleep, like, come over.

Speaker 1 Yeah, get out of that house. 100%.

Speaker 1 I love what you just said because, like, there are so many bad dynamics in relationships that can't get broken because sometimes the people around you aren't giving you like the most, I don't know, but like, go, like, this is such a it's it is a great tool that Reddit has become is to be like you can have a

Speaker 1 group, like a masses of people being like, This is red flag, this is red flag, we're all from all different parts of the world and we're saying this isn't good. Yeah,

Speaker 1 you have a red flag next to you if you want to wave it, really. Just

Speaker 1 my oops, baby,

Speaker 1 that's bad.

Speaker 1 Oh my god, I love it.

Speaker 1 I hope she's okay. I hate, I hate this for her.
I do too. But I mean, OP was commenting after, you know, commenting as recent as seven days ago.
Yeah, no, she's fine.

Speaker 1 I just like, I just hate that her, her support system isn't helping her right now. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I hope you're out there, OP. I'm going to send you the link for this.
I hope you watch it. I hope you feel good about leaving.
Do not feel bad. Get out.
Yeah. Enjoy your life.
It's not about the boob.

Speaker 1 It's not about the boob. And you are 26.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. The prime of your life.
Like, the movie's just beginning. It's just beginning.
And there are hot men in the movie who hold your face, not just your boob. Yeah.
And he's 30.

Speaker 1 Like, not even a big age gap. Not even like a big.

Speaker 1 Poor guy's got a lot coming for him.

Speaker 1 Oh, man.

Speaker 1 Your rom-com's about to start and his tragedy is about to begin.

Speaker 1 Truly.

Speaker 1 Truly. On that note, moving along.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Do you want a choice on this next one?

Speaker 1 Ooh, sure.

Speaker 1 You might get both of them, but I'll

Speaker 1 let you choose which one comes first, maybe.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 option number one.

Speaker 1 Am I the asshole for ignoring my wife for throwing away my late wife's videotapes?

Speaker 1 Whoa.

Speaker 1 Option number two. Option number two.
Am I the asshole for telling the truth about why I ended my engagement to my ex's parents and grandparents?

Speaker 1 I like both. Okay.
Sorry to make you read both. I love both.
I love them all. Okay.
Which one first, though?

Speaker 1 Should we go with death first, then the second one? Okay. Okay.

Speaker 1 And on a, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So this is coming from AITAH, six days old, titled, Am I the Asshole for Ignoring My Wife for Throwing Away My Late Wives Videotapes?

Speaker 1 Also, I just want to say I really appreciate that on the show, you say how old it is. Yeah.
Shane doesn't do that.

Speaker 1 So I don't know if it was like in the early 2000s. I know.
Or like, but now I like, I'm living in the same universe as his OP right now. Yeah, the context does matter.

Speaker 1 Like, cause then we got to know, like, how crazy do we have to get with our advice? Like, do we need to drop a pin? Like, do we need to show up?

Speaker 1 Do we need to like, yeah, like literally like, yeah. Like, hashtag, it's not about the boob.

Speaker 1 No, hashtag not about the boob, but if you need help getting out, drop a pin and I will genuinely fly and I will get the U-Haul. I'm obsessed with you.
I will get the U-Haul.

Speaker 1 I know how to drive those big rigs. You do? I'm ready.
I don't know how to drive those, but have confidence enough to just like tell myself I can do it. There's a location pretty close.

Speaker 1 We could do some parking lot. Okay.
Yeah, we'll get you ready. I think, you know, it's one of those things that you got to do to like doomsday prep.
Yeah. You've seen it.

Speaker 1 Just like learn how to drive a big thing. Wasn't there a zombie movie with like Woody Harrelson and he's in a U-Haul or something or a camper? And you crowd on a plane?

Speaker 1 might have shed a tear or two, but you gotta know. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, it's good, good, good advice. I own a horse van.
I'll let you drive that. Yeah, I forgot about that.

Speaker 1 And I'll just practice for the end of the world. Yeah, I won't let a horse go in there on our first trip around the block.

Speaker 1 You should get a big truck that says two hot takes, and it and it goes out in front of OP's house. It's like, honk, honk.
They're like, move that bus. And it's you being like, get in here.

Speaker 1 It's not about the boob. You're safe here.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. Can you show up to the wedding? Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 I need to brand my bus. You need to brand your bus.
Oh,

Speaker 1 my tax guy is going to love this.

Speaker 1 Okay, back to this one. I'm writing this because I don't know what to do.
I have a daughter with my late wife, and her name is Eleanor. Her birthday is coming up in two weeks, and she's turning 18.

Speaker 1 Background. Me and my late wife, Chloe, had been dating since college.
We got older and ended up getting married. And after our wedding, she shared news news to me that she was pregnant.

Speaker 1 I was excited that we were expecting our first child. Since it was our first child, we bought a video camera and made little tapes and snippets of her whole pregnancy.

Speaker 1 Wholesome things such as us just joking around or having lunch or talking to our unborn child through the camera. We made a promise to only show Eleanor the tapes at her 18th birthday.

Speaker 1 Fast forward two years after her birth, Chloe passed away due to a drunk driver crashing into her car as she was coming home from her mother's house.

Speaker 1 I was devastated of her passing and went into a deep depression and having to raise our two-year-old daughter by myself.

Speaker 1 My friends tried to get me to go out again and start back up dating, but every time I did, I felt like I was betraying her. Years later, when Eleanor was 13, I met Wendy.

Speaker 1 We met at a gathering for my sister's birthday and we instantly hit it off. She didn't mind that I had a daughter because she had two kids herself and just went through a divorce.

Speaker 1 Two years after, we got married. Now, back to the present.
Eleanor's 18th birthday is coming up, and I kept all of the tapes for me to show her.

Speaker 1 Mind you, her mother died when she was just two, so Eleanor doesn't remember her touch or her voice.

Speaker 1 I was excited to show her the tapes, and a week ago, I was talking to Wendy about it, and I noticed her expression going from happy to looking a bit uncomfortable.

Speaker 1 Wendy would always get uncomfortable when I talked about my late wife. I don't say say things like, why can't you be like Chloe?

Speaker 1 Or Chloe was only supposed to be my first love, but I talk about her in a way to give my daughter a mental picture of how her mother was.

Speaker 1 Wendy has always talked to me about Chloe and how it made her sad that she can never be like her. Chloe was a model, then started working on her fashion career.

Speaker 1 And don't get me wrong, she was a really beautiful woman. While Wendy had two kids in college and is not in the best shape due to her words.

Speaker 1 I love both women, how they are, and I've never had a preference, but I feel like Wendy is gaining some jealousy towards Chloe.

Speaker 1 I told Wendy that I love her just the way she is, and she broke down crying. The next day after that incident, she came up to me and apologized for the way she acted last night.

Speaker 1 I told her it was okay, and it's good that she felt comfortable enough to share her feelings. I gave her a tight hug and a kiss on the forehead.

Speaker 1 She asked to see where the tapes were at, and I showed her the box of videotapes of my late wife in the closet. Things were going fine until yesterday morning.

Speaker 1 I was looking for the tapes because I wanted to put them in a prettier box for my daughter. And when I went to go find them, the box wasn't in my closet.

Speaker 1 I looked everywhere to the point I walked downstairs to see my wife laying on the couch watching TV. I asked her about the box, and she told me she threw it away,

Speaker 1 all with a neutral expression. My heart dropped, and I asked her, what did she mean? And she told me that I talk about her too much and that I need to move on with my life.

Speaker 1 So she threw them away as a head start.

Speaker 1 I was fuming with anger because not only did she threw away what I had left of her, she threw away my daughter's big surprise.

Speaker 1 We quickly got into an argument and she noticed how angry I was, so she started apologizing. It got to the point I started crying and locked myself in our bedroom.

Speaker 1 It's the morning, and I'm writing this in my office, going through my computer, trying to find old files or any type of video of my late wife to give it to my daughter.

Speaker 1 Because sometimes my daughter still cries that she never got to meet her mother. And I really thought it would bring her closer to her.

Speaker 1 I've been ignoring my wife for the past day, and she's been texting me non-stop about how sorry she is, but I really just can't even look at her right now.

Speaker 1 It's getting to the point our mutual friends are texting me to accept her apology and get over it since Chloe died over 10 years ago.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 I'm trying to ignore them all because they never had someone so close to them die. I'm working on finding these files and I'm starting to think I was overreacting.

Speaker 1 I don't know what to do and I really need help.

Speaker 1 I'm nauseous. I'm like, I'm just nauseous.
This is

Speaker 1 so devastating.

Speaker 1 This isn't the first story like this I've read either. Like, there's been multiple people

Speaker 1 that are threatened by someone's ghost. Yeah.
And I, I can't begin to understand that. If you didn't want to be with someone who had a past and is a widow, why the fuck did you go after a widow? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Why are you so fucking jealous and stupid of a ghost? Of a ghost or just grief.

Speaker 1 Like that's like, that's your partner's grief that you can't control and turn off and turn on and decide when it's been too long too long. No, it's been 10 years.
10 years isn't even that long.

Speaker 1 Do you remember that? Um, there's a scene in 10 years, 10 years since. I'm like, wait, I'm bad at math, but 10 years of them dating.
Is that what she's trying to say? 10 years of Eleanor dying?

Speaker 1 I think 10 years.

Speaker 1 Eleanor's 18th birthday is coming up. Oh, she died when her mom died.
So 16 years, but still, like, I don't think

Speaker 1 of them dating. You never just, like, get over someone.
Like, grief is like, it's always kind of with you.

Speaker 1 Do you remember there was a scene in Princess Diaries that blew up on TikTok recently where she's like, she's walking with Lily, the like, the like quirky girl.

Speaker 1 And she's like, he's still sad about your dad dying. Hasn't it been like two months already? And someone was like, how did this get past?

Speaker 1 like the second draft i missed that it's a crazy like fine i have to send it to you it's so funny she's like it's been like a month get over it already You can't, you can't tell someone's grief what to do.

Speaker 1 I'm really,

Speaker 1 I really hate that for them. And I, what sucks about this is that it seems like it was between OP and his new partner.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But the only person that is the real like person getting affected by this is Chloe.

Speaker 1 Their daughter, right? Eleanor. Eleanor.
No, I thought that was the wife. Chloe's the wife.
Thank you. Wow.
So you're good at this.

Speaker 1 I just feel bad for the daughter. I mean, Chloe's ghost is probably affected as well.
Like, she's probably up there, you know, like

Speaker 1 a couple more days and she'll get to see my videos. Oh,

Speaker 1 that's so sad. Like, if I was a ghost, I'd, I'd, you know, I'd be curious.
I'm, I'm nosy. I got to stick around a little.
Oh, my. See how the videos are received.
So, yeah, Chloe's affected too.

Speaker 1 To throw away a VHS or whatever the hell it was is so drama. I don't understand why it couldn't just be like,

Speaker 1 I will never be able to put my

Speaker 1 brain in this headspace. But like, it quite literally isn't about you.
It's like, this is a gift for Eleanor. This has nothing to do with it.
It doesn't even have to do with you and your relationship.

Speaker 1 I was going to say, if this has to do with your relationship, then that's between you and an OP. This is not about her.
I'm just so confused. Like, if, like, I liked that this

Speaker 1 post included that, like, she's never feeling like, oh, I wish you were like this.

Speaker 1 I wish you were like my ex-wife, like this, or my late wife yeah he doesn't do that kind of stuff no and it's just for his daughter that this stuff comes up it's literally for her 18th birthday he's waited 16 years to be able to present this with her to her like

Speaker 1 i feel so bad and he's asking am i the asshole for ignoring her i don't know no this is so unfair Yeah, I also don't think he overreacted. He was asking

Speaker 1 after he's calmed down now. He's like, did I

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 I think every reaction you had is so specific to you and your daughter. And like, no one, no mutual friend can be like, well, I know about this.
So I can tell you you're overreacting.

Speaker 1 It's his, it's his grief and his daughter's grief. I would be like, have a hard time even looking at those friends.
Like, stay out of it. It hasn't even been 24 hours.

Speaker 1 I'd be like, who the fuck called you?

Speaker 1 Stay in your lane.

Speaker 1 Wendy, man, Wendy's trying to get everybody on board emotionally.

Speaker 1 Everyone reach out to him. He's He's not being sensible.
What?

Speaker 1 Oh my God, Wendy.

Speaker 1 Top comment.

Speaker 1 Dear Lord, I'm honestly not one to advocate for divorce, but I do not think I could continue a relationship with someone who did something so wildly despicable.

Speaker 1 That's selfish.

Speaker 1 Selfish, repugnant.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 I want people to chime in with some big, fancy words so I can learn them. Let's get bigger than repugnant in here about this person.

Speaker 1 This isn't jealousy. That's a mental disorder.
She stole the only vestiges of your wife that your daughter will have. That is not something you can come back from, or she can apologize for.

Speaker 1 This is a line in the sand.

Speaker 1 Someone goes, I doubt she's even sorry, just sorry for herself that OP is ignoring her. It was all premeditated.
Wendy needs a doctor and divorce papers.

Speaker 1 Whoa.

Speaker 1 Both of those together?

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 definitely was premeditated. Where's that box? You know, can you just show me the box? You're so right.
I forgot about that. She asked where the box was located.
Where's the box?

Speaker 1 Where's the box? Why do you need to know where the box is? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Why do you want to look at it? Also, what was OP? Like, I'm curious. Like,

Speaker 1 I wonder why Wendy wants to see the box. Like, did it, like, oh, yeah, I put it right here.
Here, here's the books, Wendy. Like, she's not asking to see the footage.

Speaker 1 She's not, she just like wants to know where it's located. That's so sauce.
Why?

Speaker 1 And premeditated. Wendy, you're going to help me digitalize them.
Why? Yeah. What do you want, Wendy? Oh, there's no way I'm not putting that stuff in the cloud when she's like eight or nine.

Speaker 1 It's got to get in the cloud now. Yeah.
Got to now. And this is not OP's fault in any way, shape, or form.
No, it isn't. But like, that's, that's, that's why you back everything up.

Speaker 1 I'm paranoid with stuff. I feel so bad for them.

Speaker 1 We do

Speaker 1 we have a small update. Small.

Speaker 1 Small but big. Small.
Okay. We're just fuck the comments.
Let's get into this. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Go, click, click faster.

Speaker 1 What? Oh my God.

Speaker 1 Go.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Small update coming from five days ago. I didn't expect this above.
I came here to look for general advice. Now I have a thousand people in my DMs.

Speaker 1 I'm going to be answering questions and I'm going to be getting about them the most.

Speaker 1 I was thinking about asking Wendy about the tapes and where she threw them out, but I saw a comment that told me to not ask her because it might give her some time to hide it or lie.

Speaker 1 Instead, when I went back home, I checked in the outside trash cans and the kitchen one, and I still couldn't find them. Trash Day isn't until Thursday, so I was confused.

Speaker 1 I finally went up to ask her, and at first, she wasn't going to tell me. I threatened with divorce, like one of you guys said, and she gave in.

Speaker 1 It turns out she kept kept the videotapes in her car until trash day arrived because she knew I would look through the trash. Shut the fuck up.
So now I have the tapes. Thank God.

Speaker 1 But she went the extra mile? This bitch is unhinged.

Speaker 1 Unhinged. Wendy.

Speaker 1 Wendy.

Speaker 1 Wendy needs to go. Wendy did not want him to have the tapes.

Speaker 1 I want to, like, can someone like send Wendy some holy water and just like pour it on her head some rose water some holy water some electrolytes some therapy wendy wendy

Speaker 1 thank god

Speaker 1 thank god

Speaker 1 okay

Speaker 1 another question asked was did eleanor know about the tapes no i didn't want to ruin the surprise until if i'd known that i had a backup she didn't know about them now and i'm not planning on telling her until her birthday the only problem is that I'm afraid that Wendy might tell her.

Speaker 1 What a sick way to make this continue to go on if Wendy did that. One more question: people are asking if I'm considering divorce.

Speaker 1 Wendy never did anything like this before, and I don't want to ruin a six-year relationship. But at the same time, I really do think she needs some type of help.

Speaker 1 I'm considering asking her to go to therapy, and I'm really considering our relationship. Wendy is really good with my daughter, and my daughter loves her, and her children like family.

Speaker 1 I think Wendy is just trying to take Chloe's place with being Eleanor's mother. I'm really starting to think she has issues.

Speaker 1 Starting.

Speaker 1 That was so innocent. Starting? A lot of people also said that if I don't divorce her, I will betray my daughter.

Speaker 1 My daughter is my number one, and I think I should find someone better that can respect not only me, but my daughter and her mother.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's like the space you want to hold in your new home. You want it to like somehow somehow just like honor who you lost a little bit.
And this is the opposite of that.

Speaker 1 Complete opposite. There's no way there's any pictures of Chloe around the house.
Like there's no way there's any memories of her. And like, I recognize like if I died tomorrow,

Speaker 1 fingers crossed, I'm good. But I would want Justin to move on.
But I would hope like, I mean, have a little picture of me and you somehow. Like, don't archive all the posts.

Speaker 1 Maybe, maybe keep them up on IG. Yeah.
Yeah, or like archive them and don't delete them. Or, no, I want them all.

Speaker 1 They must stay. This is so dark.
But I feel so bad.

Speaker 1 That was those tapes. Like, I, okay, I'm trying to understand like maybe a world where she, like, Wendy doesn't want like their wedding tape or something around.

Speaker 1 I mean, yeah, I wouldn't want it on a loop playing on a TV in my kitchen. Exactly.
I guess these aren't about you. These are about the daughter.
They're all about the baby. They're about to do it.

Speaker 1 It's nothing to do with their their relationship.

Speaker 1 I'm like, my face is tingling. I'm so mad.
Yeah, I almost cried when you're reading. I can't feel my lips.
Look at that. I can't feel them.

Speaker 1 I can't. I'm like,

Speaker 1 I'm so upset.

Speaker 1 That's.

Speaker 1 I can't get over hit in the car because she knew he would go into the trash. And I think if we want to look at like, it wasn't just the trash.
And like, she said she threw them away.

Speaker 1 So she lied about throwing them away.

Speaker 1 But like, it was that, it's that extra level of vindictiveness and preparedness to take that away from him to where she's planning to hold them in the car just for extra effort. Yeah.
That's. And

Speaker 1 she didn't actually throw them away. He's upset, crying in his room, ignoring you.
And you don't go grab them out of your car. And they're sitting in your fucking car.

Speaker 1 And he's crying, but you're going to text friends and tell them to text him that he's being overdramatic but you won't go to your car they're in the car

Speaker 1 they were in the car can't you understand that you're in the wrong just

Speaker 1 she was still planning on actually throwing them away she wasn't gonna pull them out she's tripling down she was actually gonna throw them away that's like the nail on the coffin for me this is done like if he doesn't get divorced

Speaker 1 Sir like something like this is so bold that if he moves on, something something else is going to come up and he's going to feel like a fool if he ignores us. It's not if it's when.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're right. You're right.
It's not if it's when.

Speaker 1 Poor thing.

Speaker 1 Okay, well, about that engagement one.

Speaker 1 Here we go, I guess. Here we go.
Here we go.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I'm going to throw a curveball to you. Oh, God.

Speaker 1 So you can have that one. Am I the asshole for telling the truth about why I ended my engagement to my ex's parents or grandparents? Or you can have this one.
A day old r/slash relationship advice.

Speaker 1 The double standards in my 28 female and my husband's 36 male marriage are killing me.

Speaker 1 Curveball. I think we did the curveball.
Oh, okay. Or do we engagement? Oh, I like them both.

Speaker 1 This is where I sometimes let a coin flip decide.

Speaker 1 Do you have a coin? I will get one. I was going to say, how vintage.

Speaker 1 Okay. What do you want heads to be?

Speaker 1 Let's do heads, the

Speaker 1 relationship. Heads, the relationship.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Flip. It's flipping.
It is flipping.

Speaker 1 Tails.

Speaker 1 Tails. Tails for the proof.
Engagement story. Okay, okay, okay.
Okay. Here we go.

Speaker 1 Why, they're not engaged. I'm just going to listen.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I like the active questions.
It shows. Yeah.
Like, to clarify.

Speaker 1 Because at some point you start picturing like the same person for all these. I know.
And they all own a gazebo.

Speaker 1 You know, and I'm like, no, no, no, this is a new person. Yeah.
This is Dave and Kim from the gazebo. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Am I the asshole for telling the truth about why I ended my engagement to my ex's parents and grandparents? I, 26 female, was engaged for more than a year, but called it off in October.

Speaker 1 My family and friends knew, but not a lot in my ex's family and friends knew. His parents had grown frustrated by the chaos in their family that to them seemed to follow the end of our engagement.

Speaker 1 And they and my ex's grandparents approached me to ask why I had called everything off.

Speaker 1 This is so messy and I feel dumb for not worrying about it, but I'll explain what happened and what I told them. So my ex's brother and his wife were trying to have a baby for a while and failed.

Speaker 1 Not long after ex and I got engaged, his brother and sister-in-law asked if my ex would donate sperm.

Speaker 1 They wanted to turkey baster it and act like his brother was the biofather, but they'd be honest with the kid. My ex and I talked about it, and I was fine with it.

Speaker 1 I helped him get the samples, and his brother would come and collect them and take them to his wife. It took quite a few, but it worked.

Speaker 1 Only when she got pregnant finally, she started acting weird towards me.

Speaker 1 She was jealous, like clearly jealous. She made snarky comments towards me and glared at me when I'd see her.
This was going on for a few weeks.

Speaker 1 When my ex and I were shown the scan photos, she looked pissed that he was hugging me while we looked.

Speaker 1 Then she came to the house when I was alone and she accused me of coming between the brothers and wanting her child to grow up an only child. Like this was seriously out of nowhere.

Speaker 1 It made me feel off about things and I asked why she was acting like a jealous girlfriend or mistress. She lost her shit and told me I needed to back off.
I confronted my ex and he played dumb.

Speaker 1 He said he had no idea why she was behaving that way, but I didn't buy it. And then his brother asked me if I thought his wife was being weird with my ex.
Oh, fuck. I said, yep.

Speaker 1 We both confronted them and she asked why it mattered how she had actually gotten pregnant as long as they got the result they wanted. X's brother almost attacked my ex.

Speaker 1 X was saying it it wasn't like that, and the turkey baster method wasn't working, and it was all about his brother, and how nothing else happened but in and out. So they fucked?

Speaker 1 He really thought we'd buy that.

Speaker 1 Oh my God, I'm so glad we picked this one.

Speaker 1 I walked away from him that night, and I gave him back my ring. X tried to fight for me to forgive him, but I just felt foolish for agreeing to begin with.

Speaker 1 I don't know what's going on with the brother and her. I didn't stay in touch.
But I told X's parents and grandparents that X slept with his brother's wife and that I got messy because of the baby.

Speaker 1 They thanked me for my honesty and apologized for asking me. And then, a few days later, my ex DM'd me on Instagram and asked why I had to mess up his family like that.

Speaker 1 And he said I fucked his brother over more than he already had. I blocked him.
It was a second account I forgot about.

Speaker 1 But I feel bad if I highlighted what his brother's dealing with before he was ready to tell anyone am i the asshole

Speaker 1 i mean it's also your story to tell too yeah and they

Speaker 1 they decided to ask her instead of him their son

Speaker 1 So clearly they're not getting a straight answer from him and they're sus

Speaker 1 and they wanted to go to the horse's mouth. So

Speaker 1 all is fair in love and war. Yeah, I guess.
I mean, it's giving like a girl who's like putting her cigarette out in like a like a big fire.

Speaker 1 Maybe that's dark. But like, yeah, maybe, no.
But I mean, it's just.

Speaker 1 No, I can see it. It was coming for them anyway.
Or like dropping the cigarette at a gas station. Like, there's gas on the ground.
It just takes your little spark.

Speaker 1 Like, all, and she just was like, I mean, she's going through it too. She.

Speaker 1 her

Speaker 1 fiancé I mean this and the other one made me think like when you've been wronged by a partner Are you allowed to like do two wrongs equal right? Like it's like

Speaker 1 she's so pissed and I get it. Yeah, she's like that's so fucked up.
So then she wants to do something fucked up back. Yeah.
But I mean she she didn't have to but I also don't blame her for doing that.

Speaker 1 I mean she just told the truth. They could have done the turkey baster method.
Maybe it would have taken a little longer, but it probably would have worked all the same.

Speaker 1 Like, so they really swear it was just to transfer the sperm and that's in and out.

Speaker 1 Ew!

Speaker 1 In and out. That's disgusting.
That's it. Not that, but just like them being like, we didn't do anything.
It's just this and that. It's like how Mormons soak or whatever.
Yeah. It's like giving that.

Speaker 1 No, I just had a, just, it was a while ago now, but we did a live show in Utah and one of our listeners who was an ex-Mormon and had actually soaked got on stage and told us all about it.

Speaker 1 And like, yeah, it's giving that same energy. It feels like they said that, but I don't know if they did that.
Why would she start acting like a jealous girlfriend?

Speaker 1 That's it. That's it.
She's actually,

Speaker 1 I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
The thought of having anything else inside, anyone else's member inside of me grosses me out because I'm like, I love my fiancé. Like the thought of someone else right now, like

Speaker 1 that, I just i can't like it just like

Speaker 1 i know it's just like it's like a weird like stealing of bodily function it's like it's like a weird like

Speaker 1 like i hope like i i i hope they were i don't know the movie version i'm like oh my god they're in love with each other or whatever but but she's like being like no it was just

Speaker 1 i don't know i think she actually likes the brother I think he views it as just sex.

Speaker 1 And you think, yeah, yeah, that's what I think as well. Yeah, I agree.
And then that's why she got jealous and he's over here happily hugging his partner. He's like, I did nothing wrong.

Speaker 1 I just helped. He's like,

Speaker 1 isn't this what you wanted, bro? Yeah, exactly. No, I didn't want you to fuck my wife.
This is,

Speaker 1 this is wild, dude. This is wild.
I want to know. I want the brother to come forward and tell us his story.

Speaker 1 I need the other side of this one. Yeah, like, what was the moment before? What are you going to do now? Are they texting secret things? No matter what, a lie is a a lie, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're lying from your partner. You're hiding something from your partner, and that's not good.

Speaker 1 And at the end of the day, she can be honest and tell who, if her, if, if their parents and grandparents or whoever want to know why they broke up, they were engaged, right? Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think she's allowed to tell them the truth.

Speaker 1 Why does she have to protect them? Nope.

Speaker 1 They need to know, too, because this is a dynamic they have to work with going forward. And the brother might choose to not stay with her now because technically it's not kosher anymore.

Speaker 1 Like what was kosher was the turkey baster. No cheating.

Speaker 1 And to get your brother to agree and sign on, like that was such a gift. But you had to

Speaker 1 ask him to actually fuck you. It's also weird to put someone in the position to lie for somebody else, right? Like, oh, yeah.
Like, were they ever going to tell him? Yeah. And so she's like...

Speaker 1 Were they still having sex after she got pregnant? Yo, that's honestly, that's where it all lies. That's where it lies.
Was it once? What are they texting? Who initiated this bang session?

Speaker 1 Were you guys hanging out before? It was in and out. In and out.

Speaker 1 So you were just jerking it and then you really stuck it in right as. And then you're like, okay, we can all go back to our own partners now.
Mission complete. Ew.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Couple comments from OP. I agree.
They really are perfect for each other after everything that's happened. I'm not sure they'll ever realize just how much they fucked up either.

Speaker 1 I don't even know for sure he's angry at me. That could be something my ex said to just make me feel bad for doing it.
I hope it didn't upset him and he's doing good.

Speaker 1 Talking about the brother who's actually like being hurt by this. Yeah, yeah, that sucks.
He's in a much worse position than I am.

Speaker 1 Oh my God.

Speaker 1 I mean, I can understand a world in which the

Speaker 1 girl leaving can be like, and all the families are like, why did you guys break up? And she's like,

Speaker 1 you have to talk to them. But she's on Duke, telling the truth.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 absolutely. Family's got to know.

Speaker 1 I mean, it is one of, I mean, it's that brother's baby. So, like,

Speaker 1 if the one guy divorces her, she could go after him for child support. Because

Speaker 1 there's no way these people were smart enough to have a contract. 100%, no.

Speaker 1 So maybe they'll end up together in the end. And then the family will cut them off.

Speaker 1 And then, yeah, that's, yeah.

Speaker 1 Top comment on this one: not the asshole. He kept a secret from you, which is never good.
But this isn't hiding a Pokemon obsession or splurging on a gaming PC without asking.

Speaker 1 This is fucking around on you and lying about it. Leaving him was just being sane about things.
But his family asked. You answered.

Speaker 1 It wasn't your job to keep his secrets, especially since you're not a couple anymore. It is literally not your circus, not your monkeys.
Yep.

Speaker 1 It's like a, you can't get mad when you're a bad person in public and you get mad that somebody else told you, told somebody else that you're a bad person. No.
Like, don't tell anybody, please.

Speaker 1 No, you messed up. Don't be bad.
You mess up in every timeline. So now everybody knows.
You can't hide it. Every timeline.
I like that. Thanks.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Thank you for coming on. Wow.
This was magical. What a blast.
If you ever need anyone to drive a bus, go pick somebody up. Oh, yeah.
You're on it with me.

Speaker 1 We're going to give you some lessons first because

Speaker 1 it's a big rig. Yeah.
And I need my glasses. Oh,

Speaker 1 how blind are you?

Speaker 1 I'm like, without my contacts, I can see the mic in front of my face and that would be it. See, I need to get contacts.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't have contacts. And I've been dragging my feet and it's making my eyesight worse.
This is for another time. Do you have glasses? Yeah.
Okay. Well, there's that at least.

Speaker 1 And my car glasses, I'm always losing them anyway. Oh my God.
She's just staying in my car. Yeah.
Contacts are great. They're not as scary to put in as you would think.

Speaker 1 Okay, my mom was so drama growing up. So I think that's why I'm scared of them.
Oh my God. I'll literally put them in for you and teach you.
Oh my God. It's my favorite thing.

Speaker 1 If my hands were clean, I'd pull mine out and pop it back in. No, you don't have to.
But I don't,

Speaker 1 I ate a chicken nugget right before this, so can't do that. You don't want chicken nugget in your eye.
No. Where can people find you? What are you working on? What's going on? God.

Speaker 1 Working on getting a bus license.

Speaker 1 You can just find me on Instagram. For some reason, someone has my handle.

Speaker 1 Well, someone has like my handle without my middle name. So I added my middle name, but now it looks like I'm trying to be so cool.
No. So my handle is Angela Giovanni Geratana.
That's my full name.

Speaker 1 It's very intense.

Speaker 1 Giovanni? Yeah.

Speaker 1 It was supposed to be Angela Giovanna Gerotana. And my mom goes, That's a little too Italian if it has an A in the middle.
So it's Angela Giovanni Gerotana. As if that's less Italian.
I love it.

Speaker 1 Giovanni. Yeah.
Go. Family name.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I love that.
I love the heritage there. No,

Speaker 1 that is. It's a lot.
And I'm like, it's not a lot. If only this woman, she's like a 70-year-old in Sicily, would just give me at Angela Geratana, Geratana, everything would be easier.
Well, she's 70.

Speaker 1 I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.
No, okay. Your stuff will be linked.
You are so amazing on Smash. You have a podcast.
Oh my God. Yeah, I do have a podcast.

Speaker 1 It's an improv podcast, so it's really silly and dumb. It's really good.
I think I saw one episode where you and Amanda were trying to make Shane laugh. Oh my God.
You were

Speaker 1 anything. You were just like, you were losing it.
You were just like, so serious and like, I'm a misogynist. And

Speaker 1 it was like, and then Amanda was like, well, yeah, you are. And then just Shane died.
I'm like, it's such a good show. I watched that video of, I just watched Amanda and Tommy together with you.

Speaker 1 Was during Christmas. It's my favorite time.
I love them. And I was like, look at them.
Didn't you just go on Tommy's new show too? Yeah. I went on his show for his first season.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Now it's in the second season. Oh my God.
So fast. I know.
Look at Tommy. He's a fucking machine.
Look at him go. Yeah.

Speaker 1 If anything, I'm going to plug my podcast, which is Artist on Artists, On Artists, but also Serving Cunt, which is Tommy Bose.

Speaker 1 So good. So good.
Thank you so much for coming on. Thank you for having me.
All of Angela's links will be in the description of the show. Go follow.

Speaker 1 Go leave that 70-year-old and Cicely a comment so we can get her her handle. But other than that, head over to Patreon for some more bonus content this month.
And until next time, bye. Bye.