180: So Wrong it Feels Illegal.. Ft. Rebmasel

This episode is brought to you by Shopify. Teamwork does make the dream work, like putting together a piece of Swedish furniture or trying to figure out how to sell your merch.
Sure, you can have an amazing product, but when it comes to actually selling it, you might need a little bit of help. And nobody does selling better than Shopify.
Their ShopPay feature can help you boost conversions up to 50%. Upgrade your business and get the same checkout we use.
Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com slash THT.

All lowercase.

That's shopify.com slash THT. All lowercase.
That's shopify.com slash THT. This episode is brought to you by Amazon.
Sometimes the most painful part of getting sick is the getting better part. Waiting on hold for an appointment, sitting in crowded waiting rooms, standing in line at the pharmacy, that's painful.
Amazon One Medical and Amazon Pharmacy remove those painful parts of getting better with things like 24-7 virtual visits and prescriptions delivered to your door. Thanks to Amazon Pharmacy and Amazon One Medical, healthcare just got less painful.
I'm so excited we're finally doing this. I'm really jazzed.

I'm pumped.

I've been wanting to do it for so long.

Not that I'm like, but I knew that your last video was a nightmare with the flooding.

I was like, yeah, no.

It flooded.

I'm not worried about it.

Like, I wasn't offended.

I was like, you know, like she has shit going on.

And then you're like, I'm a goldfish.

I have a memory of a goldfish.

I was like, okay, perfect.

Literally, the stuff I forget, it's insane.

But here we go. I have an amazing theme for us today.
But first, let's introduce you. Let's fill everyone in if they're not familiar with you and your amazing stuff you have going on.
My amazing stuff. My amazing everything.
Everything. I'm Reb Maisel online, on TikTok, on YouTube, on Instagram.
I have a podcast called Rebuttal Pod and I am a practicing attorney in California, which is great. Part of the reason why people, I guess, started enjoying me on TikTok is because I am an attorney.
I am a woman, right? Yeah, the court transcripts. I read funny court transcripts on there and I am a lawyer and a woman who doesn't have a bob and a stick of her ass.
So I think for most people, that's really jarring. Like they're not.
I mean, yeah, Legally Blonde was cute, but let's be serious is what they always are assuming. Right.
You're right. You got to be boring and you can't be funny and you have a personality as an attorney, which any lawyer in this field would tell you that even the judges are giggling along with me and having a ball, which is great.
You know what I recently discovered? What? It's like a rate the judge website. Oh, that's beautiful.
What website is that? I don't know what it's called. It probably is.
It's like rate my Professor, but like Rate This Judge. Yes.
It depends on the state. Like, they're, because obviously state court judges in every county and state are very different.
Federal judges, it's like, okay, you know, by circuit, but could be different. But yes, the Rate My Judge thing is funny because- I die at those.
It's kind of like Rate Your Professor in the sense that unless this professor was the best of all time or the worst, most heinous person you've ever had speak to you, you're not rating in the middle.

So the judge ratings are always like destroyed my life, unfair, corrupt, like the worst names you could possibly call someone.

And then if you ever look into the ratings a little deeper, right, if they like give any details that could like get you to kind of search through the cases, it's like a very fair ruling and they fully definitely needed their case to be dismissed, you know, whatever. So I don't know how much you can trust them, but I have never written one.
Legally, that's my disclaimer. I've never written one.
There you go. I looked up my aunt who is a judge uh and she's like family law love so she's dealt with like a lot of really hard intense cases and some of the reviews she had i was like yeah did you know family law is the most dangerous area of a lot of practice in as an attorney criminal law is not even fucking close i can see that no no no you learn in law school uh our professors tell us yeah so being a criminal offense attorney or a prosecutor being in that field whatever that's not where you need to like have a bodyguard and lock your doors and shit and be terrified of you know having your life threatened or your family's life um you know it's family law or anything to do with property because people get really upset about inheritances.
Oh my God, yes. And wills and probate and all of that.
And they also get obviously really upset about custody and children and divorces. I mean, people kill to not pay alimony.
Oh my God. Literally.
Men will do anything but get a job. Let me tell you that.
I'll tell you that. Okay, they will do everything.
Hot takes from the piping hot, piping, fucking hot half the time. It's like your, your ex doesn't want you anymore.
Like your baby mother doesn't want you. She simply needs a good diaper to put on her, on your child, actually on your child.
And they're like, how dare you? It's messy. It's messy.
So family law. Yeah, no, I was told basically you will die.
You will be, I mean, not, you won't die, but, but family attorneys will vouch. It's, you will get more threats.
You'll get more death threats, anything. I've been on lockdowns as a civil defense litigator.
I mean, we have like heavy security. Like I have to, you know, hit a badge against three different things to get to my desk.
And we've had, you know, hey, you guys, an email circulated. Here's the mugshot of, you know, so-and-so's client um he has on the record stated that he threatened our entire firm and said that all lawyers are pieces of shit and deserve to die um and so we're going to just err on the side of caution and assume that means us so uh yeah we're gonna have three new security guards who are gonna escort you in and out of the building and uh probably is armed.
And also here's a security surveillance screenshot of him in our lobby last week with a fake cop badge. And I'm reading this email, mind you, I'm reading this fucking, hey, you guys, like Monday, you know, reply all ass email and look at this mugshot.
And I'm already in the parking lot at my office, already in the parking lot with my full blazer lawyer uni on. I'm like, I would have come in sweats, bitch.
I would have been like, I don't know where the lawyers are. Probably not.
It's not me. I looked like one.
I was like, damn it. Like they clocked me.
They're going to clock me. I'm like, of course.
And immediately in like our associate group chat, like our attorney group chat, all of the young, cool, funny attorneys who, you know, use humor to humor to cope are like i mean did you guys see what he said about lawyers you know all lawyers are bastards they need to die and we're all like i mean he has a point i mean i'm like look i'm not saying he's right for this but like you know let him cook i don't know let him cook shit like so fair king please don't kill me i'm like taking my blazer off to like oh god i'm just like you yeah i hate lawyers too i hate lawyers and i hate paying alimony and being a good father literally the worst terrible ever love those shoes i don't know what to say god i gotta get you i gotta get you on my dad's show too because we just had the craziest write-in on his show. And it was someone trying to be like, I regret leaving my ex-husband.
And this guy is so, he was so deranged and just so terrible to her. He was basically like, our son is never going to forgive you for tearing apart his family.
And if you take me back, then I'll stop being so mean and terrible. And it's like, you're scary.
You are scary. Yeah, no.
And I'm putting you on mute and typing out an email while you're giving me that rant. Like, how do you sleep at night? I'm like with a silk pillowcase and the AC on high.
Like, I'm, you know, it's not because I'm representing evil people or working cases or doing things that I think are morally corrupt for a bag. 90% of the time in our field of work, it's like our line of work, I guess, it's very much just, hey, yeah, so this is the law, right? We're going to apply it.
And you don't like it. The result sucks.
Okay, it's not great, but I'm not doing anything that isn't what should happen if you're a good lawyer, right? If you're respectable. And, you know, people don't like to knock it their way.
Shocking, right? Especially if you listen to this show. Shocking that you're, you know, people might not always be correct.
Even if they feel very strongly about something. And that should be on a fucking t-shirt.
Like a tiny 10-point font. Like just down a sweatshirt yeah put that in the pod description like you we are we are very rarely 100 on this show like take it all with a grain of salt we're coming at you off the cuff god bless god bless i hope i hurt your feelings mine are too mine are hurt too but it's gonna be fine my God.
Let's just preface this whole episode though off the jump for little Reb here. This is not legal advice whatsoever.
No, it's not. This is us just spitting some takes based on some crazy stories today.
The theme I have for us is so wrong it feels illegal. Amazing.
Incredible. Let's see what we got not that doing things illegal

is fun but it's fun right now or wrong you know sometimes ignore that she's over there

the lawyer sometimes you have to go against the law you know there's certain times you know me

okay let's dive in Okay, so speaking of alimony, I feel like you're already going to have some good ones about this one. This is coming from Legal Advice UK.
It is Scotland related, titled Divorce. Can I go after ex-wife's daughter's income? Is it a man or what? I've already, immediately I need to shut up.
I need to shut up. I need to shut up and let you get through it because I'm already pissed.
Okay, go on. My wife and I are separating due to irreconcilable differences.
It appears it's going to be a clean split on the finances. I'm buying out her half of the house, etc.
My main issue is that my wife has moved out to stay with her daughter now, which leaves me to cover all of the household bills, etc. I earn about 80k a year, so it won't be an issue.
But up until now, we had always split bills 50-50, so I have grown accustomed to a certain standard of living. My wife is only on a minimum part-time wage, so I don't think I would be able to go after her salaried income.
However, now she lives with her daughter, who is quite well off, and she has very little outgoing expenses other than food, phone bill, and car payments, as I'm assuming her daughter will be paying my wife's way. So once the dust has settled here, I'm going to be spending more every month and she will be spending less.
Is there any recourse for going after my stepdaughter's income since it will be being spent on my wife? So would that count as income for my wife? I would like to know. Please help.
Well, again, again, again, I cannot give my legal advice or legal opinion on the laws of Scotland for sure. And I'm not even going to get into what it would be in America, but it just as a person that I am a hot take that I am anything, but getting a job job.
Absolutely anything but getting a trabajo. That's what men, wait, you said it was a man, no? There was never a mention, actually.
Let's think. Let's throw in ballparking, okay? This is your stepdaughter.
It's not even your daughter. And yeah, okay, would it be better or worse that they were going after their biological daughter's income? Yeah, but like the audacity to go based on the assumption alone that your ex-wife is obviously going to be living off of, you know, her daughter's income.
Babes, who the fuck said that? Maybe your ex-wife's getting a job after getting free from the that cage that fucking jail that she was in with your ass oh you suck wait also tio he's like oh we got used to we accustomed to a standard of living so who was providing the funds for that standard of living when you were together that's what i'm kind of i'm curious about because he's making 80k a year in Scotland. Quick Google search.
Don't know what that means. 80k a year in Scotland.
According to r slash Scotland, a Reddit sub, this person would consider 50k a good salary in Scotland, north of Edinburgh. Okay.
So 80k seems like that is quite nice. You're not impoverished.
That's for sure. You're not scrounging for dollars.
That seems pretty good. If you want to get an, you know, another Audi to add to the collection, obviously look at your stepdaughter.
That's insane. It's insane.
Like to even go after your wife who's making less than you. Like he realized that he couldn't go after the wife because she's making less.'s got a minimum part-time gig yeah but then to be like i'm gonna go after my stepdaughter in what world it not in this not in the world i'm living in not in this world though not in this world unless and this is literally unless no there's not even an unless in this situation? No, you can't.
No, you can't do that. No.

No.

No, you can't.

No, you can't. No, you can't do that.
No. No.
No, you can't. No, you can't.
All right? You're done and you're split. Whatever complexities you want to argue about with respect to your relationship with that other person, argue all you want.
You know, different divorce. Look, there are 50 different states in this country that have 50 different divorce, literally divorce law state.
It's a state law issue. I don't know how it is in Scotland, but what your children make is not going, right? Like my income is not going to be touched because my mom married a douche.
Sorry, sorry, queen. If my mom's listening, her and my that are still together but remember that just future reference if you ever want to like leave him like don't touch my gosh it's really crazy and i think it's like if you can't afford the same living you're accustomed to like don't buy her out of the house sell the house exactly downsize exactly you have other ways to maintain your quality of life that maybe isn't having this big house what by the sounds of it like right right you can change a little obsessed with you because you're like here's the logical like let's do an account like go on accounting reddit right let's go let's start like opening up some excel spreadsheets and really budget budget a little right and i immediately knowing the tone of that post, just went straight to fuck you.

I don't, I know that they don't, you know what I mean?

Like people like that, when their mind goes there, they don't want to, they don't want to listen to someone saying, hey, how about the alternative here instead of, you know,

going after a daughter that isn't even yours, is income, which you probably legally cannot

fucking do.

No.

Why don't you just get a better job or rework what you think is your standard of living? Exactly. But they won't.
No, and OP is fighting in the comments here. Fighting for their life? Good.
So top comment. You want to know whether after divorce and a clean split of your finances, if you can go after your stepdaughter's income to supplement your accustomed standard of living because your ex-wife will be paying less per month in general, is that what you're actually asking? Obsessed.
Wait, pause. That is a lawyer.
So lawyers, what we do, obsessed, is anytime a client says something stupid, or opposing counsel, honestly, in like email, phone, whatever. I mean, I haven't in right, type, tap, tap, tap.
Anytime anyone says something so outlandish, telling them it's outlandish will never help anything because they genuinely think that what just came out of their mouth sounded fine. So when you hear it back, right, play that back.
Nobody hates the sound of their voice until you hear it on a recording. Same exact thing with dumb fucking commentary and opinions.
Okay. The lawyer thing going, okay, let me get this clear.
So you wanted, right, and you walk them through what you just fucking said. Do I have that correct? And if they say yes, then you're like, okay, you're insane.
Or people will go, oh, that does sound crazy. You're right.
On the same track. Keep going.
God, you're making me want to go to law school. God.
I'm not. Look.
You're like, run, girl, run. The reason why I'm here in this couch is because I got so violently ill and depressed studying for the California bar exam in 2020.
Great year to do it. That I needed an outlet online to just be, just do anything other than, you know, stab something in my sleep.
So I started posting dumb TikToks, but now we're here. Now we're here.
But other than that, yeah, sure, go to law school. I'll hold your hand.
I'll give you all my outlines in my books. So Opie responds, It feels unfair that she can trigger a divorce that results in her keeping more money each month and me losing more money each month.
I wanted to know if there's anything I could do. And someone responds, She has a right to divorce you.
I'm not getting why you have the audacity to feel she shouldn't be allowed to leave you. Also, it's not like you're paying her alimony or child support.
You're simply paying for the place you live in. Why should anyone help pay for your place of living? Are you stupid? Bars.
I have nothing to add. Bars.
Someone else goes, why do you think you're entitled to someone else's money? OP responds, I was only wondering, based on the fact I have no pension, which means I can go after my wife's pension if it would be the same elsewhere in her finances. Are you even, are you, what? Are you proofreading this? It makes no sense.
And also like you said clean financial split, right? Yeah. The way that the post was written was so as if it was right as if these things had happened.
Right. Like it was a clean financial split.
Yeah. Their split.
It's over. So what it feels like he's like, wait a minute.
I have more. I just remembered he's like waking up in the middle of the night being like, I remember she has an insurance policy.
She has a pension. Can I go after that now? Can I go after that now? Baby, no.
Like you get a stopping point for sure. Like you don't owe this person for life if you're not paying support.
Right. But it sounds like he's not.
No. It sounds like they literally just like packed up their shit.
She said, I'm taking this. Thank you.
Bye.

Bye.

I'm going to go do whatever I want to do.

And also, how do you even know where she's living?

There seems.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, I'm like, okay, are you stalking your socials?

Like, what's up?

Like, what's going on with that?

There seems like there's a lot of missing information here.

Like, even this line where he's like, it feels unfair that she can trigger a divorce.

Why did she trigger that divorce?

Were you cheating?

Was your finger on the trigger and she just did a sudden move move yeah because come on now what's going on there and then it's like oh well she has a pension but she's working a minimum wage part-time job usually those don't give pensions so i feel like she maybe retired from like a big job and now is just working part-time to like keep up her interest and self worth and like whatever else you know so it's like agreed what what missing details do we have here because you are clearly leaving a lot a lot of missing details and also with respect to the you know stepdaughter i mean how long were they together how old i mean i'm assuming right stepdaughter let's say let's say she's 30 okay she's getting money apparently she's well off now but it's like is this your ex-wife's you know now second divorce or is this maybe just like a child out of wedlock fine but like right like are you did she maybe get money from like her ex-husband and now you're thinking or maybe like the ex-husband pays her a lot of money and so he's like oh maybe right maybe like I can flip the script and now be the one that she has to pay there's so I mean look are we shocked that probably narcissistic very selfish people will leave out details in a story to make it sound better for them not shocked I will learn information from my clients who are good people. I don't know if this person's a good person who really knows, who can really say.
But who are good people and genuinely I think that they are, but they just, right? I'm like, you need to tell me everything, absolutely everything, especially the bad stuff. Not because I'm not the cops, baby, right? Transclient privilege is the strongest privilege we have I have no

there's no mandatory

disclosure of shit

if anything I have to shut my fucking mouth which is hard to do sometimes most of the time they don't write they'll be like no I swear I told you everything you swear and I'll be like okay because if I found out that XYZ happened which is kind of the vibe I'm getting no that didn't happen okay perfect six months down the line in front of a judge I learned that XYZ for sure happened and I turned to my client like this and I thought I'm still there I'm like amazing no your honor we did not intend to uh lie to the court but uh right like things like that but just tell me but it's not it's not because they were like oh I'm gonna get away with this it's like so many people just want so badly to for that be on their side, for their advocate to be on their side.

I'm like, I'm paid to be on your side, even if you do the worst.

Like, you can tell me the worst thing ever, but I'm just, I'm not paid just to say, be a yes man.

I'm paid to tell you the best path.

I need all the info to do that.

I literally need to tell you what the best thing for us to do is.

And finding shit out later is never good, including for this guy. Oh my God, you are literally that Sabrina Carpenter song Please don't embarrass me, motherfucker Please.
I swear my life That's literally you with clients. Yes.
See, men don't embarrass me because I don't let them get that far. No, that song quite literally is lawyers screaming it in the courthouse parking lot on God.
Please, motherfucker, do not embarrass me.

Oh, my God.

I swear to God.

And then you're embarrassed.

And then you argue and you don't cry.

They get you.

They get you.

Okay, moving along to this next one.

This one is coming from AITAH.

It is titled,

Am I the asshole for trying to convince my wife to keep her mom to Keep Her Mom Away from Us Because She Wants Us to Swap Kids with Her Other Daughter? Oh. Twins run in both of our families.
We actually met at a twin festival in Ohio. My brother and I did not marry twin sisters or even sisters from the same family, but my wife does have a twin, and her sister had twins, as did we.
We have twin boys that are about six months older than their female cousins. It makes for some very cute pictures.
My mother-in-law might be insane. She is trying to convince her daughters to trade, like a boy for a girl, so each girl can have a brother, I guess.
I think it is the craziest thing i've ever heard my wife also agrees but won't tell her mom to drop it my sister-in-law and her husband are on my side it isn't something that any of us are entertaining at first i thought she was just making a joke no such luck she is proposing this. The thing that might make me an asshole isn't turning down this whack job.
It's telling my wife it might be a good idea to distance ourselves from her mom. My wife loves her mom and her foibles.
She says it's just the way she is. But I don't want my kids around someone so unstable that they think this is a normal thing to suggest.
So am I the asshole? No. And it's giving restraining order.
It's giving like the hand that rocks the cradle. If anyone has seen that movie from like, like, look, listen, look and listen.
Mother-in-laws can get insane in ways as this this show has taught me so well, in ways that I didn't even think existed. And asking dead serious, ten toes down, looking them dead in the eyes, asking your children to switch children.
Switch children. Like being cousins isn't enough.
Like how is that not—like my cousins I feel like are like my older brothers whatever you are not the asshole she's not only an asshole I think she's clinical I that's insane I would never leave my children alone with this woman ever infinity yeah ever it's giving kidnap it's giving it's giving kidnap in every way shape and form it's giving like one eye squinted what was that like literally backing away slowly out of the room i don't even have words because she's not joking either right like she's no genuinely serious she's 12 cans short of a six-pack like there's not even a way that you can be rational. And I'm not even trying to like, oh, two sides in at all.
There's just. There's no way you can.
There's just. Two cans short of a six pack.
She's a few tomatoes short of a thick sauce. Like what.
The only benefit that she's saying is that the. So the daughters can have their right have brothers.
Yeah. You already, they're your cousins.
They're your boy cousins. Raise them like siblings.
And I'm sorry. Did he mention that only like a few, like two of the parents were on his side? Like there's a camp building on her side.
Like she's Marilyn Manson cult type shit. Pardon me.
So I think everyone is on the side of like, yeah, mom is crazy. But some people are like, it's fine.
It's not that big of a deal. Oh, okay.
His wife doesn't want to say anything to her mom and shut her down, which I'm sorry. You need to stand by your partner, protect your children, and you need to tell your mom, mom, not entertaining this at all.
Correct. This is not going to be brought up.
And if it is, you are going to be asked to leave. It makes us feel uncomfortable, unsafe for our children.
Do not bring it up again. Correct.
If you were anyone other than my mother, I would probably not see you again. If you were a friend, if you were a stranger, a coworker at work who kept insisting on this idea.

It's weird.

It's bizarrely weird. And blood doesn't matter when it comes to protecting your kids, when it comes to protecting your family.
And also it's like, yeah, no, you should be seeing them by your partner. It's not like, oh, they didn't defend me.
You should be caring about your kid's livelihood enough. And also it would be insane when these kids grow up to be a little older if the mom was like basically enabled to to continue this shtick to like keep this idea going and not immediately let it go to the point where you're like no no don't say it anymore then when these kids you know have a conscience like become conscious uh and start hearing like this weird shit from grandma like they want us us to switch.
What do you mean they want us to switch?

Are you like, what do you mean?

What if she's like, oh yeah, that's your brother.

Like actually, like that should be your brother.

Like what if she starts like talking to the kids like that?

I don't know.

I'm thinking worst case scenario, but like that's not even,

what is the benefit here?

She has like some twisted boy, girl, kid, like fantasy.

Like what the fuck?

Well, also like, what does it do? What does it do for you? Like, what does it do for the kids that's the thing is i'm like i'm like oh you mean oh i want i want the girl to have a brother and the brother to have a sister again they have cousins who are twins and brother sister like we're like sisters brothers like exactly it's like how what does this change that doesn't change a goddamn thing siblings are siblings like i feel like for me and i i do understand like

having a brother as a girl is different than having a sister totally like there are differences

right but like these are twins like i feel like twins kind of do have like that bond and a

different connection than just siblings they could get like it's literally like twins have been born

holding hands like twins twins in the middle of the night like no like they know where they are

like they can sense their moods and regardless of whether it's backed up by science or not like i've known so many people who who are twins like through college whatever and i knew a pair of mirror twins um in college mirror twins where um when they have so they're like seriously obviously but they're not identical but they're mirror so like when one has a mole on this side the other has on that side. When one lost a tooth on this side, the other would lose a tooth on the other side.
Mirror. It was bizarre, right? Bizarre.
One's right-handed, one's left-handed, like literally mirror twins. Okay.
Birthmark everything. I don't know.
That's crazy. And they would always say, cause we'd always like joke and ask them like, oh, like, can you like, like sense each other, whatever the fuck.
And they're like, I don't know. Like, it's like, yeah, when I—

She's like, yeah, sometimes I'm, like, having a good day, but I'll feel kind of down.

And then, like, I'll find out that my twin, like, was having a bad day.

And I'll be like, wow, we totally—it's, like, telepathy we knew.

And yeah, probably—maybe wrong, maybe isn't.

But, like, so many—there's so many accounts of twins saying, like, I knew the moment my twin passed.

Yes.

Because, like, I felt—like, I felt something.

Yes, I've heard that.

Like, I knew.

Like, and then I got a phone call, and I what it was you can't switch fucking twins they're especially as children I feel like they're gonna look and be like this doesn't smell like the mate that I had in the womb do you know what I mean the roommate I had the womb mate that I had and what like no no and I hate that's the thing too I feel like the highlight of this episode too is like people always like oh just want to cast things off as a joke like if even if like his wife is like, no, no. And I hate, that's the thing too.
I feel like the highlight of this episode too is like people always like, oh, just want to cast things off as a joke. Like if, even if like his wife is like, oh, like she's like, she's not that serious.
You know what I mean? It's not a joke. I'm like, but you're not funny.
None of you are funny, first of all. And second of all, if no one's laughing, right? It flopped.
It failed. It didn't land.
So let's get serious. Okay.
About what this is. She's clearly dead serious and it's not a joke stop treating it like a joke when it is not take it dead fucking serious like she's gonna kidnap your fucking child out of their bed in the middle of the night and that's what it's that's what i'm envisioning it could go if you don't nip it in the bud and put your foot down it could go that way you don't know what mental health stuff this mother-in-law is dealing with.
Something. She could be having an episode of psychosis to where she does do this.
Yeah. Nip it in the bud for your safety, the health of wellness of your family, and for hers.
And this is the thing too, is like best case scenario, she's not mentally ill. She's just so weird and creepy.
In that event, still goodbye, right? You don don't want your kids to be around that and i frankly don't want to fucking be around it no okay do the same exact thing nip it in the bud say no no so we're done with that okay enough of that and also like i would like your visits my kids to be supervised because what else i mean you think what you think this is an isolated incident no weirdness and like that. Sorry, that's creepy as fuck.

That's creepy.

Well, that's the thing.

Like if you don't want to go no contact with your mom, like I get it.

That's your mom.

Like if my mom all of a sudden flipped one day going from my normal, totally amazing mom to like trying to switch my kids, I would be like, wait, what?

No, I don't want to go no contact with my mom.

Like this is just a little goofy on her part.

But like, you know, but at the bare minimum, like supervision, like no time left alone, no taking all the grandkids out. And like, obviously at this point, if grandma did switch them, they would know.
Different genders. I mean, biological genders, babes, like they're going to know.
They're going to fucking know. But still, like it's just a safety thing and also i think too what what parents i think sometimes miss with the whole like they i completely understand when people want to stay in contact with their parent who's very toxic you know whatever or is really hurting you know their marriage whatnot um you know they don't want to just cut them off at the first sign of creepiness and trouble or weirdness and trouble like that.
But the problem is that, right, you can feel a type of way about your relationship as a daughter or a son to your mother, but that should not somehow tie in your children, right? Your relationship with your mom is yours. It's not your kids to also bear the burden of.
If your mom can't have a relationship with you without also taking your grandkids out and having, like, you know, then that's a problem because they don't have to have a relationship with their grandma, right? If that's going to not be safe for them, duh. You can go to lunch with your mom and have a jolly good time, okay, and get out of it what you need.
But like, as the child, I'd be like, what does that got to do with me? You know what I mean? Like, she's weird, mom or dad, right? Like, whatever. But even if the grandma was so great, it's like the grandma can prove that they're great, right? Like, no one's obligated to your children.
No one's obligated to your children except for like, you know, things that are decided by a court order or by someone's custody or by someone's biological, you know, relation in terms of father-parent type B. You know what I mean? That can get hazy.
But, like, when it's a weird-ass mother-in-law, whose feelings do I care about hurting? My kids or my fucking mother? Not hers. Not fucking hers.
Your kids come first. Yeah.
Kids come first. So there's some comments from OP on this one.

Someone goes, not the asshole.

As a mom of two sets of twins, this idea is totally offensive.

If my mom ever suggested anything like this, I'd insist on a psychiatric evaluation and a screening for early onset dementia.

You have every right to shut this down hard.

OP goes, two?

Holy cow, I can't imagine. Yeah, no, you've upset the twin community, the twin parent community, which is a big one, and they're strong.
Look, listen, and I say this with all the love of my heart, like, that's offensive. It is offensive.
What the fuck is that? It's really odd. Someone else goes, ask your wife how she thinks the children feel when they hear this talk, because they hear it.
Can you imagine what it feels like to a young child to hear somebody talking about making you trade families? That could cause some serious issues for these poor children. This is not okay.
It is not a game. Your wife needs to stop her mother from terrorizing your children, not the asshole.
OP does respond, my sons are like not a year old yet,

so I'm not sure they grasped the situation.

The same person responds,

I'm really surprised

at your answer to my comment.

I pointed out a really good reason

to deal with this issue

and your response was to dismiss it.

Even if they don't understand now,

do you want them to wait

until they do understand?

When will that be?

In three months?

Six months?

Definitely less than a year. This has to stop before they understand, doesn't it? Okay, commenter is not getting very pick me.
It's not about you. Okay, queen, like, like, it's not it's this isn't your post.
Why didn't you say how great my comment and my my advice was king, queen, right? Let's like take it down a notch, like several notches. There's another comment here here i'd get paperwork for a nursing home and take it out the next time she brings it up explain that if she's going to act like a lunatic then she can go live in shady pines that's so real and low-key sounds like me is that my twin out there i understand i'm very cognizant of the fact that the way that i deal with that I would personally choose to deal with situations is not palatable to everyone and that's so fair but like that would for sure be something I did because I'd be like okay obsessed with that comment here's the brochure get the fuck out of my house right I'll see you like goodbye bye don't you want to have a deep conversation about it not really no we're good we're good we're we're definitely we're good stay away from my kids yeah we're bye bye but some people are irrational oh i want to chat about it some people are irrational no rational oh irrational i was like yeah some people are no no yeah yeah that was such a good segue and i'm so sorry I fucked that up.
Anyways. Moving along.
Moving along.

There's... like yeah some people are no no yeah yeah that was such a good segue and i'm so sorry i fucked that up anyways moving along moving along this next one it is coming from am i the asshole titled am i the asshole i asked my sister to make me a hand knitted blanket and it's ugly about a month ago i asked my sister to make me a hand knitted blanket i always wanted one just to have to go on the back of my sofa or my bed.
So she said she'd love to make one. So after a while, the blanket was complete.
Her and the elderly lady she works for made this blanket, and the colors were going to be a surprise to me. I literally had showed my sister a picture on the internet though of colors that I wanted to see in the blanket.
So the day finally comes where I get to open the box that she had wrapped and it was supposed to be a surprise. So I opened it and my first reaction was I loved it.
It was super soft and it was extremely heavy because the blanket is 10 feet 7 inches long by 5 feet wide. But it's extremely ugly.
It's got a dark hunter green fabric and yellow, red, white, and green threads. She told me that her little old lady picked out all the colors from Hobby Lobby, which my sister knows I fucking hate when she supports those homophobic companies.
After seeing how big the blanket was, I told her I could probably sell for $250. It's so huge.
I didn't know what to do with it otherwise. So she said, yeah, go ahead and sell it if you want.
So I posted it on Facebook Marketplace. For two weeks, not a single person messaged me to buy this blanket.
I marked it down to $100 for one week. Again, not a single person messaged me to buy this blanket.
It is ugly, and I am not exaggerating. I will attach a picture in the comment section below.
So I told my sister the other day, not a single person has messaged me to buy this blanket off of Facebook, and so I was going to package it up and mail it off to my cousin. My sister suggested that should just throw it away and I said what are you crazy? And because my cousin lives in louisiana, she went off and said she literally lives in the hottest fucking place Why would she need a blanket? And I said did you not see the comment she posted on facebook when I posted the blanket? She said well, i'm glad you had one made for you And since i'm not going to use it, I thought I would just pass it along to somebody who would use it.
So am I the asshole? No, I don't. I don't think so.
But there's a lot to unpack here. There's a lot to unpack here because my thing is that this thing is so heinous and ugly, but it's huge and it's obviously like a knitted blanket.
I mean, what if you have a picnic outside outside like what if you have like a dog puke on your house and you need to like put something down I don't know you could like use this blanket she's like so desperate to get off her hands like it feels like a horror movie where like the doll you know like the haunted doll oh my god Annabelle yes Annabelle and they're trying to like hot potato it I'm like it's a blanket it's an ugly ass blanket you're not gonna get money out of it you're gonna just re-gift it like a cursed blanket it. I'm like, it's a blanket.
It's an ugly ass blanket. You're not going to get money out of it.
You're going to just re-gift it like a cursed blanket to a cousin. And also, the sister sounds like she's not upset at all.
She's like vibing, I feel. I'm interpreting it like the opposite.
Okay. I think the sister is so sad about this.
Okay. And is just like, I think you should just throw it away.

Because she's so hurt by this.

Okay, yeah, no.

At first I was like, wow, she's like being really nice about this.

But that actually makes a lot more sense.

Yeah.

This is my thing, okay?

You can choose to shut your mouth.

Always shut up.

Lawyer, but that's actually can be legal advice.

Shut your mouth. Okay, shut your mouth.
Right, shut your mouth. If your sister maybe was expecting to see it on the back of your couch, like she said in the beginning, for sure be like, Hey, like I think it's like clashing maybe like a bit with like my, my scheme.
Um, but I do still have and I love it. I use it.
It's so warm when we have movie night, I wear the blanket. You can say things like that.
You don't have to be brutally honest and be like, I want to sell it for money that you, right? Like, this was a gift. Like, why do you need to sell it? I'm going to send it to a cousin.
Okay, red flags are flying. Like, you have to tell your sister because your sister's going to see it.
I mean, you didn't have to say it. Like, she's like giving the very detailed breakdown to her sister about how fucking ugly this shit is.
Do you want to see it? don't yeah it better have like a really is it that ugly no oh wait this is gonna make me sad it's beautiful wait i'm really sad it's a beautiful it's like you know like the 90s like um like like taco like ski ski outfits yes like ski outfits wait that it is beautiful i'm pissed off wait this bitch is insane yes you're the asshole back it up you are the fucking asshole and the color it's literally like a little bit different than the color of the green that i'm fucking wearing right now i literally want to ask to buy it put it on the show i'll hang it up back there literally i i'm wait that makes me mad i take back everything i said she should have shut her fucking mouth No, she should have given it to the show. I'll hang it up back there.
I literally, I, I'm way, that makes me mad. I take back everything I said.
She should have shut her fucking mouth. No, she should have given it to her cousin.
Her cousin maybe would have loved it. No.
Forever. Because now I'm mad that you have it because that's such a cute, and also the fact that she took a photo of it when it's folded up, trying to make it seem like it's like, oh, like, like it's going to be folded up.
I mean, I love the, I love the rainbow little colors. It also looks like it's well done.
I'm not a knitting gal. I don't really know about whether it's good or not, but it looks fucking good to me.
It looks incredible. It keeps you warm.
Have you ever knitted? Yes, I knit. Knit, knit.
Knit, knit. But there's a difference between crochet and knit, but I know that there's like a very, like in, look, you can't fuck those up, okay? There are some niche communities that would be like, babe, like that's like a slur, like separate it it so whether she knitted it or crocheted it like amazing that looks good it's beautiful it looks good as hell one of my really good friends izzy um can can crochet knit the vests and blankets she's like sewing me a fucking robe out of ikea towels because i needed a new robe and it was like really cute i mean yeah crazy and she does it just in does it just by hand.
Like she made an outfit, like made a top for going out, made a blanket. The talent.
She makes blankets for people. Yeah, but I'm like, at no point, even if something that she ever gave me, which nothing ever has, it's always been Gorge, was ugly.
It's like, when do you need a blanket? Always. Like literally always for like going to a sea.
Again, picnics outside, going to the beach, outdoor activities when you're cold watching a movie. I've never been at someone's house and been like, hey, I'm cold.
Can I have a blanket? And they've handed me a blanket and I'm like, not that fucking ugly one. That one's so fucking ugly and it's literally so cute.
It's literally giving 90s like Utah ski. I'm pissed.
One, it was a gift. It was a gift.
That it's a gift you don't tell someone oh i think your gift fucking sucks it sucks so bad i'm gonna try to sell it on facebook marketplace and also mind you this greedy bitch okay this greedy sister whatever all right i have a sister we're mean to each other this is crazy not this mean she asked her to make it. She asked.
I'm sorry.

Beggars can't be choosers.

And also it's so cute.

It's literally so cute.

I want to.

Wait.

That makes me mad.

I want the blanket so bad.

OP has since deleted their account.

I can't even message them to be like.

Good.

Hey, can I, can I buy the blanket from you?

No, I'm sure.

I'm sure she got. So if you're out there.

Yeah, please.

I would like to buy the blanket.

Facebook marketplace.

We're on it. I'm sure thousands.
I hope all the comments, all these people were probably like, can I have the blanket? Literally ship it to me. Like people would pay money.
I would pay money for that on principle alone. Like a lot of money.
Literally. That's you.
Oh, you mean a handmade blanket? That's beautiful. And I also cannot imagine in my mind a blanket that would, that would be ugly enough for me to say no to i would never turn down a blanket that's the thing is i'm like i'm i was trying to conjure up in my head before you spun your laptop obviously that was not it but i'm like conjuring your head a blanket a blanket that is so ugly that you would at the very least be like no i don't want it i'm thinking like okay even if it was traffic cone orange like just traffic cone orange and brown I'd be like you know I still want it the only way that I would refuse something is if it was like crocheted like a shape or a word that maybe wasn't that was offensive I was literally thinking like oh is it gonna be a major like you know genitalia like crocheted in this fucking blanket no it's a beautiful it's beautiful it's so rude you should never ever treat someone who's going out of their way to gift you something with love and kindness and effort and then i fucking hate it i'm gonna sell it were you gonna give that money back to your sister at least for the cost of that yarn and time you know like time is money baby and the cost of the yarn and also like oh you mean an old lady helped oh the fact that an old woman helps her knit it just it's like a nail in the coffin for this chick because I'm like no you could not have like literally created enough sympathy points for all of us to have for your sister because that's adorable oh you mean she's like volunteering at the old folks home and this old grandma helped her make it I would literally run into a burning building to get that blanket out of there to save it because that's heart.

That's heartfelt.

It really is.

Top comment.

Yeah, you're the asshole.

Yeah.

I agree with you about Hobby Lobby.

Haven't bought from them in years.

And it would have been great

if your sister took your color preference

into account a bit more.

But unless you paid her for this,

it's a gift.

Keep it, sell it, ship it off, ask your cousin first. But one, thank your sister for the gift.
That takes a lot of time and effort. And two, stop updating her on your quest to dispose of it.
Your asshole behavior isn't not liking the gift. It's repeatedly telling your sister that you don't like it and neither does anyone else.
That part. That part.
Why are you giving her the fucking play-by-play hour-by-hour saga of you hating her fucking gift? This shit is so ugly I couldn't even get rid of it for a hundred bucks. Gathered that.
Gathered that you hate it. I would ask for it back.
I'd be like, oh, word. I got 30 people who want to pay literally half a grand for it.
Actually, it's beautiful. And apparently, in fact, also, she keeps emphasizing that it's so huge as if that's a downside to it i'm like i've been looking for a jacket that's a perk that's perfect fits on my whole couch me and three people i love cuddling i know yeah asshole people are loud and wrong aren't they asshole because how could you be in the process of typing it you know how like you will type out like if you're really mad at someone you'll type out like a notes app yeah type situation you'll type out everything you want to say to them and in the middle sometimes in the middle of it like you're like three paragraphs in you start realizing okay I do sound kind of like alright like you know what I mean I do sound kind of fucking crazy like me and then you just delete the whole thing you're like actually I'm not even gonna say anything it's anything.
It's actually not that serious. That happens to me all the fucking time.
Like it's not that deep. It's not that deep.
Oh my gosh. But like I'm imagining her like what was going through your head as you're typing like the old folks home lady is helping her and it's literally huge.
And also she said to just sell it. Like in that moment, did you think they're going to be on my side? Like really? It's the type of delusion that I wish I could live in all the time.
Okay. I literally just said that this morning.
I was like, I wish I could be a little dumber. Oh my God.
Like the ignorance is bliss saying I would, I just like the privilege that some people have to just float through life, not caring about politics or things like that that that just affect that. I'm like, I wish.
God, I wish. People are like, I'm not political.
My existence is political. Like everything's political.
The color of this couch is political. My hair is political.
She is political. The blanket's political.
Everything is inherently political. Some things are just more contributing to the discourse than others.
It doesn't mean you're not, oh, I'm just not political. No, you're just like probably someone who's, who everyone's politics probably benefits, right? Like I, this one guy, this one hate comment I responded to one time, I was, you know, I was talking about literally like voting rights, like literally like how, how the recent Supreme Court case essentially very much gutted part of the Voting Rights Act that prevented states from racially gerrymandering, okay? Which everyone on either side of this fucked up fence can all agree, right? Drawing political county lines based on, right, black neighborhoods, white neighborhoods, Asian neighborhoods is of course not, not as, not, not, it's bad.
Yes, exactly. It's not good, right? It's not great for democracy.

So basically this case,

whatever went up.

And so I'm literally like,

it was the most like obvious,

like there's one right answer situation.

Like,

you know,

like that's bad.

This case was like,

yeah,

basically loud,

like Georgia do some stuff,

whatever.

So I'm talking about it.

And it was a comment being like,

get so political.

Like,

like this bitch,

like does not chime out. Like always have to talk about politics, like all all this stuff and of course he looked exactly like you would think you would look okay guess what color his skin was like guess how yeah right like guess what he was doing his profile pic like being a white dude with some bullshit and i responded in the comment in a video and i said hey yeah no 100 like totally get that you knew exactly what my politics were in the beginning um so tell me what yours are.
When, like what year did you earn the right to vote as a white man in America? You have the mic now. Tell me, right? Oh, what right did, when, what year, sorry, did you get to open up a credit card in your own name without your wife's approval? What year were you allowed to become an attorney? What year were you allowed to, I don't know, sit at a desk, have an office job without wearing a skirt? You could wear pants.
Marry the person you love. Like, marry the person you love.
That shit just baffles me. Like, let's, right, I'm not political or, oh, this person's so political.
We're not political. We are existing talking about something that makes you uncomfortable because it doesn't immediately benefit you.
Yeah. If that's what political is, I'll tattoo it on my ass crack, okay? Damn stamp.
Like fuck, I'll like literally like be so serious. It's just very unserious to me.
It really is. The blanket's political.
Fuck, it is. Party lines on the blanket.
That being said, please, please, please make sure you are registered to vote. This is such a key crazy election vote.
You deserve to vote. So register.
Let's fucking go. There's a comment here that I do want to highlight before we move along.
You're the asshole. As someone who crochets, if the colors and place they bought it from were that big of a deal to you, why didn't you buy the yarn you wanted and then give it to them? Blankets like this take a lot of time and effort.
This isn't even something you paid money for, and I won't be surprised if your sister never makes you anything again. Great point.
I forgot about the whole, how could she buy it from Hobby Lobby, those homophobic assholes. I go, like, I have a lot of gay best friends who are like, look, unfortunately, Chick-fil-A's fries are really good.
Like, unfortunately, like, I'm not saying support these companies. But that being even a comment that she would include, like, for us to try to hate her sister is crazy yeah it's crazy i mean who knows if they're you know she's just scraping by and hobby lobby had a good sale like i want to know the ages like if she's like 19 i'm gonna i'm gonna make i'm like mad yeah like what are they what are they what if they were both like 30 32 right or what if there's a big age gap i'm getting the vibe younger sister crocheted it, which is going to make me sad.
I know. There's no mention of ages.
No mentions of ages. No mentions of gender of OP too.
So like I do, like in my head, I assume this is like two sisters because like I feel like a guy- I feel like a man would not take it this far. A man would have just like thrown it in his closet and forgotten about it and just been like, look at this ugly fucking- Like he wouldn't have had have had so much chat about it exactly and maybe that's stereotypical of me to like assume and observe to say but we all have some biases you know but like i just this and also like hopping on facebook marketplace really quick and like trying to make a no guy that i know yeah the vibe would go through that effort no the vibe of it all is very much like you could have just thrown it in your fucking closet and said you were you couldn't shut up about it yeah yeah it's giving sisters it's giving sisters gosh uh yeah there are some comments that do mention like hobby lobby and the fact that like not everyone is so privileged to be able to totally shop based on their politics so please keep that into account and things like that but yeah, very clearly asshole OP was so embarrassed with their asshole garnish that they deleted the post and they deleted their account so They they learned real quick the lesson good real quick.
I hope it means I don't want her to keep the blanket anymore I wanted to go to someone who would appreciate it Give me that blanket Give me give us if you're watching if you're listening if you're out there don't even have to say a word don't have her to keep the blanket anymore. I wanted to go to someone who would appreciate it.
Give me that blanket. Give me.
If you're watching, if you're listening. If you're out there.
Don't even have to say a word. Don't have to identify yourself.
Just like shoot us the fucking blanket. Sister who made it, if you're out there.
We love the blanket. I will take it.
I literally, I have it at my house right now because I just love it so much. But someone made me a blanket at one of my Denver live shows and gave it to me.
And it is the most beautiful little thing. It's green and white checkers.
And it's like my vibe to a tee. I just, I love it.
And anything just, yeah, I made this. I just blowed it for people who aren't like craftsy in the sense of like, I can, yeah, I can paint, but I can't like, can't make a shirt or a blanket or whatever.
That to me is like. like it's so cool like that will stick with me forever I know someone else crocheted me a poop knife I like I get really like you guys out there that come to the live shows with presents you but I love that like that's my favorite thing in the world because you're like wow you thought about this and you and you love I know like you're thinking of my humor you got it you know it you're so cute that's great okay moving along buckle up for this next one i'm buckled it is two days old coming from a it a h titled am i the asshole for getting hurt and upset over a harmless prank that my husband pulled so me and my husband have been married for five years.
We are currently female 24 and male 33. Way before we met, when I was 16, my mom's house had a house fire that burnt literally everything down.
And sadly, my childhood cat was also killed in it. I remember my mom and brother waking me up screaming, fire, fire, get up, get up.
We crawled out under the smoke and luckily my neighbors had already called the fire department and they pulled us out. We lost literally everything.
We were devastated. So that was a while ago, but it still really scares me.
And I check outlets and our stove and candles and everything all of the time. My husband knows this about me.
So two nights ago, I went to bed early because I am 34 weeks pregnant, literally about to pop. I was sleeping for a while before, for some reason, my husband decided to wake me up by yelling, quote, baby, there's a fire, fire, fire, fire, get up.
As quick as I could get up at 34 weeks pregnant, I did and grabbed my purse. I was just in automatic shock and just autopilot and knew what I needed to grab.
I made it all the way down the stairs, yelling for my husband to follow me before he started laughing and telling me it was a joke. It took me a minute for that to process.
I stood there with an open mouth while he laughed and ushered me down the rest of the stairs I sat down on the couch and just started sobbing It was genuinely the hardest i've ever sobbed It's like I couldn't get myself to stop and my whole body was shaking My heart was racing and I couldn't breathe. I've never had this experience before.
I was genuinely so panicked I was so fucking upset My husband apologized and like, quote, oh my god, I'm so sorry. It was just a joke.
I just cried until he eventually was like, quote, what the fuck? It was just a prank. This is really dramatic.
After a few hours, I had calmed myself down and went to apologize to him. He wouldn't accept it.
He said I was being overdramatic and made him feel like shit for a harmless prank. So I guess, am I the asshole? I've never been good at taking jokes.
I've been trying to be less sensitive, but I don't know. No, you're not.
And you need to pack your shit and you need to get out. And I say this coming from a place of likely, very individual personal experience, right? The person that I am and from what I know and the experiences that I've had and from the amazing, brilliant, lovely people around me that I've thankfully met in my life.
They, yeah, you get to a place in your life where you go, yeah, no, there are certain things that are not just red flags. They are leaveable red flags immediately.
Wow. You cannot, you cannot, if you're explaining to someone why severe trauma and PTSD is, I mean, exists in your head and in your mind and why that wasn't just a joke.
If you're explaining that to someone, an adult who's supposed to be your partner for the rest of your life, like he's a fucking eighth grader in a middle school lunchroom, he will do something like this again, or he will do it in a different way to your children. He, I'm sorry.
I mean, you know, oh, it was just a joke type B. That kind of stuff that's so on the nose and obvious.
It's not like he didn't know about her trauma. He knew the fucking story.
He knew the story. She lost everything.
She lost her cat. Even if she had lost nothing.
That's horrifyingly scary. If she, if any of my friends, any of my best friends would have called me up crying, telling me what just happened and saying I tried to apologize to him, I would have been kept on the phone with them, been calm, cool, collected the entire time.
I am in my car on my way there with a very sharp elbow and a very direct tone of voice. Okay.
And he, yeah. I just think it's just the type of thing that, I mean, what I always say,

anytime a man or anyone does something, and I always think, you know, we always convince

each other, especially women, like, are we being overdramatic, right?

Like, is this, oh, girl can't take a joke type of thing, you know?

Or whatever.

There isn't a fire.

I'm 34 weeks pregnant.

Don't even get me started on that fact.

Jesus fucking Christ. Putting the safety of my child at risk because of my stress and my emotional regulation.
NINININININININININININININININININININININININININININININININININ this? Would the love of my life, would my soulmate treat me like this? Yes, the love of my life, my soulmate will totally make mistakes and totally hurt me, will hurt each other. That's what love is inherently.
Love is grief all the time. But would the love of my life with the knowledge that they had do something that would even risk me feeling like this, even risk it when it's that extreme and I'm 34 weeks pregnant with our child, that's at that point, I'm calling a lot of people who are going to show him who's boss.
But this is really disgusting. I mean, you hit the nail on the head in every direction.
Like there's a clean house for me. But it just hurts my soul to think about, right? Like where she is in that moment up you know like in her home is at work is she like jenny has she been gaslit so fucking hard by this yeah guy that she's thinking well i can't split up my marriage like you know we have a child coming maybe i am being drunk i mean it that's what hurts my heart is i want to hold her hand and say you're right I just can't imagine like Having to apologize to someone after they did this to you.
I mean he clearly knows about the trauma um And let's start let's back this way up to the beginning and let's do some math here So she's currently 24 He is 33. They've been married for five years.
So they got married when she was 19. The fire happened at 16.
So the fire, from the time of the fire to when they got married is only three years. They probably dated for at least a year.
So maybe they started dating when she was 18. And he is...
I mean, he better hope they started dating when she was 18. That's not math.
Tell you that much.

No, no, no, no.

Not math that I love here.

Not obsessed. And no reason, no excuse to not know what your girlfriend, wife, 19, just went through three years prior.

So to then do this at any time, but let alone when she is 34 weeks pregnant. What if that caused her to go into premature labor? What if that put your baby's life at risk and you lost this child because of that stress and trauma you just put her through? He wouldn't have had remorse.
I mean, look, I'm gathering like some people are malicious and some people are just really stupid. And you always really hope that it's the second one because you don't want to feel like you married someone who would be that genuinely evil.
Because that's what that is. It's not overdramatic to say that that's genuinely evil, especially with how late she is in her pregnancy.
I mean, if I had heard this story from a co-worker, an acquaintance, someone I didn't even like that much, I would be on the local news because that man would have, I mean, legally, I can't admit what I would do, but right, like I would be on the news and he would have been dealt with because that, you're not, you're putting that baby's life at risk. You're putting the wife's life, of course, at risk.
I mean, what, it's not, it's not it's not even funny no i mean even if none of that have happened even if she was not pregnant and never had a fire happen if my brother did that to me and he's 30 he's 34 i'd look at him and go are you okay are you good have you been watching too much shitty south park like what the fuck do we need to check you are you fine? Like, I'm going to hold your hand when I say this. You're never going to find a woman.
But my brother's not like that. He has a fiance and she's great.
So there you go. But yeah, no, that, that I don't, I'm not obsessed with that math.
No. The fact that he met her when she was 19.
And mind you, people are going to, of course, that's illegal. I'm not saying it's not right.
I'm not. I didn't do the SBO theme, SBO theme song because I think that it, you know, wasn't totally fine.
I'm doing the SBO theme song because we better hope they started dating at 18. Right.
We better hope. We better pray.
I mean, married at 19. Like it's crazy.
It's just wild. I mean, he's he would have been 27.
Like that is a big gap, different points in life, different power dynamics. I don't generally love huge age gaps, but it's totally fine if you're at the same point of power in your life.
You're both in careers. You're established.
You're not having to rely on this person. This person isn't going to take advantage of you.
That's fine and dandy then. Yep.
Have 20-year age gap. I don't give a fuck.
I have agreed wholeheartedly. I always say, too, I'm like, it's not right.
Cause you can be, I mean, our parents, half people's parents, their age gaps are crazy, but there's a difference between dating someone when, you know, you're 26 and he's 35, which is completely fine. Right.
And I'm saying legally and socially, like I wouldn't, I wouldn't blink at that. But what I always say is you change the most physically over the four years of high school, right? Your body is, you're a teenager, you're from the freshman year to senior year.
It's like a completely different person physically. You change the most, I think, mentally and emotionally when you're in that hotspot age of being quote unquote an adult, but you're out of the house.
Probably you're starting working, you're working or you're going to college, right? Regardless of what you end up doing, or maybe you're just, you know, out of the house and figuring life out. Between the ages of 18, 19, and like 25, you are changing the most maturity-wise, emotionally, mentally.
You're figuring your shit out. So when someone, right, is like 26, 27, 28, even in their 30s, when I look like I'm 29 29 I look at someone who's 21 and I'm like no I can party with you right I'll see him in Vegas like at the club happy birthday right by my shot amazing but like I know that I can't I can't connect with them in a way that would not be a disservice because they have to go through shit without me influencing it.
And it's so easy for a man to manipulate, especially a young girl. You know, maybe she wasn't.
Maybe she had a good head on her shoulders. Maybe this wasn't predatory.
I'm not necessarily saying it was. But the fact that she, this ended in her apologizing to him is like very indicative to me of a power dynamic that I think is a great point you brought up, right? Like you're not on the same plane.
You don't see yourselves as on the same plane anymore. No.
And I think like there's obviously some people that can be very mature at a young age, whether that's from being forced to grow up early or raising a sibling or whatever that is. Like I definitely have always been told like, oh, you have an old soul and that's tough.
Like, but at the same time, like you haven't necessarily like matured mentally, even if you are that person that that that's me. And I was talking to my dad last night about like Jackie O and when she became the first lady.
She was the first lady at 31. I cannot even imagine I'm 30.
And I feel like if you ask me how old I feel, I feel like I'm 27, 28.

Like I cannot even imagine having to be the first lady at my age now, 30.

Like what?

Right.

And this girl, like she is 24.

Yeah.

Like and so many, I mean, I know so many people.

I grew up for most of my childhood in like a very small Midwestern farm town. God bless Illinois.
Love ya. Tornadoes and mud and sticks.
And it is the culture to, you know, in those types of small towns, especially in middle America, to marry pretty young. And 24 to me, right, and to you, of course, like we're like the working independent women, you know, who are like obviously going to be later in the game when it comes to that kind of stuff.
But the age of getting married isn't inherently the issue. It's like, no, everyone, no matter what, when you're 24 years old, even someone who's gone through traumatic experiences, she probably grew up fast after having PTSD, you know, from the horrible experience.
You are 20, you're 24. You should be at the club.
Like, you should be at the club. This man, even if you want to have kids, like, that's great, but you're 34 weeks pregnant and you're, you should be at the club like you should get in there this man even if you want to have kids like that's great but you're 34 weeks pregnant and you're and to be honest I mean I broke up with um one of my relationships because I met he was he was like three years older than me and I met him when I was 19 and he was you know 21 22 and I you know I remembered I turned 21 and I looked at him and he had stayed the same age mentally.
I was like, oh, right. Like that's it clicked for me.
And it wasn't right. Like that's how I feel with this scenario is like she's 24 and he has not grown because this is the most immature bullshit I've ever heard in my life.
I mean, I mean, your pregnant spouse, like any man who has even a sliver of a cojona, would never do this. No.
Top comment on this one. No, you're absolutely not the asshole.
No, get fucked. Indeed.com.
Send it to him. Whatever.
That wasn't a harmless prank when he knows your past trauma. It also wouldn't have been a harmless prank even without that trauma because you are pregnant.
The adrenaline spike from something like that could have easily sent you into preterm labor. And while I'm sure you feel ready to pop, you're not yet full term and the baby's lungs are the last to develop.
He's definitely the asshole, but more than that, that was psychological abuse. It was not a prank.
It was not funny. And it is very well it could have done physical harm as well.
And now he's trying to gaslight you into thinking that you're the problem. Please be very careful and keep yourself safe.
Snaps. Agreed.
Snaps all around. Agreed.
And goodness gracious, safety is the most important. You know, like God.
I mean. If you need to move out and take some space, you don't want to end your marriage.
That's cool. But at least go stay with some family, be calm, be happy and safe, and take some time to just ensure that you can get to the 40 weeks without issue.
And every single pregnant woman in this country, whether you are 16 and pregnant or, you know, 35 and pregnant, whether it's in vitro or an accident or whatever, every single woman deserves to have a pregnancy that makes her feel safe. You can't control the health of yourself or your child always, you know, your infant that's inside of you, the fetus that's inside of you.
Things can go wrong. I've had so many friends who've had preeclampsia.
I've had so many friends who've, you know, been bedridden for the last however many months just because, you know, they didn't want to risk it. But ultimately, the one thing that you can control is your environment and your safety, or at least you hope you can, you know, control that.
So many women can't because they're in bad situations or they're surrounded by people who stress them the absolute fuck out. And God, you know, like, if she doesn't want to get, you know, what, like, there's a lot of history with people.
There's more than you can put in a Reddit comment about that man and what, you know, who he is, whatever. But definitely, she needs, she deserves to be safe for these last six weeks.
God, you know, safe in her mind and her body. So like, what if he keeps doing, like, what if he keeps what i think too i'm like is this a slippery slope i know for traumatic psychologically abusive pranks i know it was just a joke babe uh are you gonna risk it at 39 like are you gonna set the stove on fire for real like what's going on it is so scary we do have some comments from our our writer here um so someone asked why would you apologize to him and op goes i apologize because he made a big deal about me making him feel horrible someone replies that is gaslighting you did nothing wrong um so someone else goes he couldn't get a woman closer to his age because the reality is no woman would ever tolerate his behavior He had no choice but to go looking for someone he could mold.
Sadly, OP was definitely groomed. So OP does respond to that and goes, this is not true.
We met when I was 18. So barely, I'm just like, okay, but like, are you 18 in one day? Like, there's so much still gray area there.
And yes, yes legal but like still like 18 and he's 26 27 like that's and i do think too the argument and the discourse around age gaps we're thinking about just the fact that we're right in the sense of like well obviously i'm correct that that's weird obviously i'm correct that that's you know weird age it doesn't matter if it's legal but for the woman who's involved in it they're not going to ever think like they're not going to want to see themselves as a victim or or if they're if she was 18 right it's doing nothing for like the original post and for what we actually want for her to just like yell at her about how he's creepy because she's not you know i mean she's not going to believe that yeah the the comment that they said that was so great about how they're like, you know, she's like, she said, he made me feel so bad about making him feel bad. And I'm like, oh yeah, no, textbook narcissism, like textbook that's literally like open the book and you'll see his face.
Anytime someone else makes their reaction your responsibility, it's manipulative because the way that you made me feel and the way that I expressed that to you just because yeah you should feel shitty about how horrible I felt about that I just explained to you rationally what your bat shit insane prank did to me mentally emotionally all of that you saying, you saying, well, that makes me feel bad.

It should. It absolutely should.
And that's the consequence. But they think, oh, well, how dare you? And you're like, oh, my God.
Right. Oh, my God.
And so you just end up going in circles with that person. And I feel for her because, God, I've gotten in circles with people before.
At that age, too, honest to God, at age 24, I feel like it was like frontal lobe was lobing.

It was frontally lobing.

And I was. with people before at that age too honest to god at age 24 i feel like it was like frontal lobe was

lobing it was frontally lobing and i was looking around at the people around me going yeah some of you are like like that you know in that not necessarily playing crazy pranks but they have that mentality of like they just can't own up to their shit no oh there's so many so many comments on this. I'm so glad she's

getting the support. There's 9.4k

comments on this.

Someone goes... Oh, there's so many so many comments on this like i'm so glad she's getting the support.
There's 9.4k Comments on this Um, someone goes I don't know why the fuck she's apologizing him She had a stress reaction at 34 weeks pregnant that is related to a past traumatic event that he triggered ma'am Let that sink in your loser husband is a douchebag. This is not a prank It was insensitive ill-timeded inappropriate and downright disgusting He is disgusting Frankly, I don't think you reacted enough to him I think you should have popped the fuck off on his ass if there was ever a moment to become unhinged This was justifiably it you don't need this shit at 34 weeks pregnant when you should be stress-free But instead you are married to captain asshole who thinks he did nothing wrong and is gaslighting you to think you are the problem.
Stop apologizing. He is neither fit to be a husband

or a father with how he behaves and treated you. Not the asshole, but you are unfortunately married

to one. OP responds, all of these comments are making me regret everything, and I'm so, so scared,

but Captain Asshole made me laugh, lol, so thank you for that at least. Good.
Okay, good. Poor little.
Not little because she's pregnant, but yeah, little. I'm like, yeah, I mean, look.
I call everyone. I'm just like, you're just a little nugget.
I'm like, you're little in my mind because I just want to put you in my pocket. I'm very, it sounds like from her tone, that makes me know, sometimes you see people get super defensive in comments and then you're like, fuck, you know, like I'm glad that she's realizing.
I hope that she has someone else in her life physically. Yeah.
Who can also hold her hand. I know there's one last comment I'm going to read from her.
Cause it, it looks like it's going to be a juicy one. I want an update.
I want an update too. Like so bad.
There's no update yet, but I mean, this post is only two days old at this point in time. Okay, well, when there's an update, call me and I'm coming back.
Yeah. I swear to God.
So someone is asking like harmless prank. That entire time you were upset, crying, heart rate up, huge adrenaline rush, and then crash.
Your baby going through the same thing. Your unborn baby.
Your husband must be losing his mind. What if you had stumbled on the stairs and fallen down? Serious question.
Is your husband happy about this baby? Is he a narcissist? Any red flags in your relationship? I'm really sorry to say all of this because you've been growing a human for 34 weeks and wanted to make sure you are 100% sure about your husband and his thoughts on this baby. I'm usually not a violent woman, but I want to slap the shit out of him.
Women worry about certain things when pregnant and men worry about certain things like their jobs and job stability money afraid they are never going to have sex again all kinds of things i want to give him the benefit of the doubt but then i picture you jumping up and running downstairs and my blood pressure starts going up op responds he is happy he's the one who wanted a baby i don't think he's's a narcissist, though. I'm not sure the definition of that.
And no, I don't think there are red flags other than what is being pointed out in the comments I'm reading. That is mostly that he tries to make me feel sensitive about our ages, but I always knew that and I never cared.
A worst case scenario, because, you know, look, worst case scenario is that he wanted her to have the child to trap her which is the textbook classic dust off the old book and the old tricks okay for for men who do this to women right especially young women they want to keep them and right i'm obviously going to the extreme of with all the knowledge that we don't about these people. But him wanting the child doesn't negate the massive bullfighting red flag because, you know, he could have wanted the child for a million different horrible reasons that weren't him being joyful about bringing life onto this earth.
He could have wanted the kid because he knew you wouldn't leave him, because he knew that you'd need him, right? They want to be needed. People like that want to be needed.
And also, I agree with that comment in the sense of, you know, I'm not a violent person, but I want to like throw a hand, throw a swing. There are certain things that no amount of over-explaining, tumbling over your words you can do can convince me that that is not insane like what he did to this 34 week pregnant woman like there's no excuse in the world that could justify it to me like none zero it's over it's done well you need to hear both sides there's no side like there's my side and that's it it's my side and there are so few things that happen in life where you're like well you know like maybe he cheated on you because that whatever right you could explain things the way you could think think about it for a minute no no no jail start out in prison prove your way out so wrong it feels illegal yes exactly i he can you go to jail for this i know he can't but i'd like him to i would love him to sit in a cell and just think about what you did look it, it could be an intentional infliction of emotional distress.
That's a civil claim in this country, in the U.S. today.
There are about three claims I can think of in my head right now in a complaint, hypothetically, that she could file. Hypothetically.
Hypothetically, of course. Yeah.
Perhaps on behalf of the fetus as well. But that's neither here nor there.
Yeah.

Depends what state you're in on that one.

Depends, yeah.

I will keep an eye out for an update.

Just really,

really praying for this one.

I mean,

I'm not even religious

and I'm about to like,

come on,

keep this lady safe.

Whichever got,

like during the bar exam,

I was like,

I don't care what

god's up there i know one of y'all is going to be right i know one of these people on earth is right

okay i will be buddhist i'll be christian i'll be catholic i'll be atheist someone down here

satan someone knows do you hear me do something yeah that's how i feel about this as well oh he

smokes okay moving along okay so this next one it's 14 hours old titled am i the

Thank you. he smokes.
Okay, moving along. Okay, so this next one, it's 14 hours old, titled, Am I the Asshole for Considering Breaking Up with My Fiance? Because I found out that she got the ick when I cried last year.
My fiance, 26 female, and I, 26 male, have been dating for seven years, and we got engaged last month. I found out something recently, however, which makes me very sad.
For some backstory, I was going through a stressful time last year with work, and I was feeling overwhelmed. Looking back, I think I was just overreacting, but during that phase, I just don't know what was happening to me mentally.
Then one night, I just started crying randomly for no reason. My fiance was surprised, but she comforted me, and she asked me what it was about, and I told her it was life in general.
The week after I cried, I actually got a promotion at work, and I realized I was just overthinking everything and that things were actually fine. Mentally, I started feeling much better and things were back to normal.
But I heard something last week which genuinely hurt me. My fiancé's best friend Ellie also got engaged recently.
Ellie is also very close friends with my sister, but my sister and my fiancé aren't really friends or buddies. Last week, my sister called me and told me something that she had heard from Ellie, which she wanted to share with me.
What happened was that Ellie and my fiancé were talking about green flags and what they love about their fiancés and what they could potentially be better at. My fiancé had joked about me crying last year and that she found that an ick.
Ellie found that very funny and then shared it with my sister. My sister told me she didn't think it was funny at all, but just carried on with the conversation and pretended everything was normal,

but she did want to share it with me.

I then asked my fiance about it,

and my fiance seemed a bit nervous,

but she admitted that she had said that,

but that she was just joking and didn't mean it.

I told her I needed some space,

and my fiance started crying

and told me that she was just joking about it and that she loved that I was comfortable expressing my emotions to her The thing is I don't really believe my fiance and I feel really sad and hurt that she found me crying and ick and that she joked about it with her friend So am I the asshole for considering breaking up with my fiance? I don't know because being a woman, having the inside info that we do, right? About conversations that go on, especially early on in a relationship where half of you is like, I could be in love with this man. And the other half is like, wouldn't it be great if I wasn't though? Because I don't want to have my heart broken, right? I do this shit all the time.
I'll be like, oh my God, he's so beautiful. I need to get on his nerves immediately right now so that he gets the fuck away from me because I know he's a nightmare.
He's a red flag walking. He's been ran through more times than a truck stop.
I need to get the fuck out, right? And these are all defense mechanisms. The self-sabotage.
Look, and women talking about ics, yes, men, a lot of men online, and I know it's like the extreme, like, you know, incel type men, will take the ick thing so deep, right? They'll be like, oh my God, like this, whatever. It's the same thing as us, like saying women are fat and ugly and fat.
I'm like, no, no, no. That's actually not the same thing.
I think I have enough conversations with my friends joking, genuinely joking about, like, icks when it comes to, like, sandals, like, your dogs out, right? Your feet, sandals, wearing flip-flops, men wearing flip-flops, or, like, skipping, or, like, chasing after a ping-pong ball, things like that. And— Oh, the chasing after a ping-pong ball one one there's just no way you can do it looking cute at all like at all at all so it sounds like that that happened like early on in the relationship right like she wasn't saying it like a week before so timeline here is they've been dating for seven years just got engaged last month the crying happened on the six-year mark so it just happened a year ago okay yeah that's tough that's up okay so my whole spiel is about nothing okay but right like why don't i mean i do see where you're going with it though that like why don't you believe your fiance though when she says that it was a joke that's that's kind of where i'm going to is like okay you with someone for that long.
You know them well enough. Do you not believe them because you know them well enough and you know they want to joke about it? Okay, then yeah.
I don't think you're an asshole for at least considering breaking up with this person because it is a really big thing if someone to your face is telling you that it's great in the moment, especially when you're crying, when they're your source of comfort. To then turn around and say to people in confidence, but not confidence at all, because it's going to get back to you, to your own sister.
Yeah. Right? Saying that, oh, yeah, it was Nick, whatever.
But I want to, like, I know this sounds bad, whatever. But, like, if I could just have, like, a script, like, a transcript of the exact girl combo.
Because the way that it's said is also so, right?

Oh, yeah.

Like, you know, I've seen him cry,

like, a bit of it.

Like, I don't know what the context is.

Maybe they're trying to make

someone else feel better.

Maybe, like, I need to know the context,

but worst case scenario,

if she was like,

I saw him cry six years in,

such a fucking ick,

ha ha ha, JK with the girls,

that is really mean and horrible.

It is mean.

And I also, biggest pet peeve is when people, yes, like you should absolutely not be isolated and should be able to talk about your relationships for advice with your friends and other people. Yeah.
But there are absolutely certain things, attorney client privileged things, attorney client privilege, meaning like in your relationship, you should have some privilege where no matter what, there are lines that you don't cross when it comes to sharing certain information. Yeah.
Not because you're protecting them from being exposed for being like abusive, of course, or like a bad person, of course. But like my most vulnerable moments, I don't want to be up for debate at like a wine night with shitty charcuterie.
Like that would piss me off. Yeah.
As would piss me off as a woman that would piss me off and that's what it feels like this was yeah i don't like that then fair i always am like look i always start out team woman i think that's why my answer started out like that so like kind of obsessed you can see how i go with things well and like you have the insight your your context is coming from being a woman having these kiki ha-has like yeah talking about icks and so like you can recognize that like maybe this conversation wasn't so serious right like but at the same time kind of like being like oh it's an ick that he cried here's which is not inherently an ick by the way like it's not okay that someone says literally you crying was an ick it's the opposite did you drop ketchup yeah on the floor and started sobbing that that's why that matters and i would say it to your face dead look in the eyes as like you're being escorted out i'd be like that's wild but but yeah yeah i i think that i feel bad for him i do too i mean too it's like fuck like you're crying about something important and even if you weren't why share that what do you get exactly that's where i'm at with this one i don't think he's the asshole for considering breaking up i think you are so entitled to your feelings they're valid i would like take what you're hearing though with a grain of salt right like this is coming from your sister who heard it from her friend and your sister isn't friends with the fiance and the friend heard it from the fiance. Like this is kind of a twisted web and you are missing the context.
However, I think at a baseline, it's still wrong to share like, oh, I got the ick when I saw him crying because if that was my partner, I would actually feel the opposite. I would feel like, wow, he has emotions.
He's comfortable enough with himself to share those emotions. He's sensitive.
He's in touch with that. He's not one of those people that is only displaying toxic masculinity.
Like, I would look at that actually as like a, I find that kind of hot, you're willing to cry in front of me absolutely call me

sick and twisted i like seeing guys cry absolutely absolutely sick and twisted she has a kink we're not kink shaming here so i just like i'm frustrated by the fact that that was even a conversation because you can't like dismiss oh i don't want a guy who's toxic masculine and doesn't cry but then Say shit like that

Absolutely

You're inherently

Breeding that toxicity

Why?

Why? Why? It's like, it's not getting you anything. And that's why the context matters so much for me too.
Because it's like, it's not like a funny story about how they like cried because they like took an edible and cried on the roller coaster at Disneyland. Like that would be, right? That would be funny.
Also fair. I'm literally also fair.
But, like, I'm trying. I'm, like, imagining all the scenarios where, like, I'm mad.
Yeah, yeah, thank you. Dropping ketchup and crying over ketchup.
I know. I'm like, wait, I would totally, I literally have, I cried on California Adventure one time, like, the, or Soaring Over Cali.
You know, like, Soaring Over the World. Like, I've literally cried on that ride, like, three times.
Was it during the part about the polar bears? 100% it was during the part about the fucking polar bears. Yay! The ice was melting.
I was like, bye, bye. Go.
This is not a plug. Disney, if you ever want to sponsor HM us HM her and then invite me to your park but absolutely anytime your partner's crying man or woman that has to be something sacred that has to something that, especially when it comes from a very sad,

it's not a funny, it's not a prank.

It's not like something silly.

Just having a mental breakdown.

You're having a fucking mental goddamn breakdown.

Some things should be sacred.

Like something should be,

even if you, even if that was the moment maybe

that you realized you weren't in love with him,

not because he was crying,

but maybe because of all these other things.

Like I'm talking about not even the situation, but like worst case scenario you just don't you don't make fun of anyone a woman or man for showing their emotions in a way that doesn't include putting their fist in the fucking wall right like God God bless men who can cry God bless men who can cry like I love men who are as emotional as I am like they cry when I cry when I'm happy I cry when I'm sad I when I don't know what the fuck's going on. I cry when I do know what's going on most of the time.
I wish I was ignorant. Ignorance is bliss.
But I agree. Like that's enough too for me.
It's like, it's like, don't, now I don't want to show my, for him, right? Now I don't want to show you my emotions anymore. Now I don't want to go to you.
Is this going to be? He can't trust her. No, absolutely not.
He literally can't trust her sharing feelings. And it's like, yeah, okay, she got the ick from you crying.
But like it does beg a bigger conversation then. How are you going to react if I am in this position again? Are you going to support me? Are you going to talk shit to your friends again? How are we going to raise any potential kids if we want them? Are we going to allow our boys to cry? Or are you going to say, no, that's embarrassing.
Shut the fuck up, little Robbie. What does that look like for us in a big picture so I totally think he's valid and I think this begs a very serious conversation especially you're seven years in that's that's an insane amount of time to be with someone and you're kind of like now like the rug's pulled out from underneath you yeah and and the fact that also I think that he's hearing it like three people down the line is also it's a bigger conversation because if she had said it in passing when he was there like among company.
Yeah. Thinking genuinely that it wasn't a big deal or whatever.
Yes, it's still bad and still you should talk about it. But like what else have you been saying to people about me? Like why why? Who are you talking to? What was it? Like, you know what I mean? Like, I don't, I don't want to hear what the people that I love are saying about me behind my back from my sister.
That's wild and crazy. And I, it's just indicative.
Like, I hate, like, trust is just broken because I'm like, there should always, again, like, like I said, there should should always be a line no matter what you can make mistakes you can talk shit right like if you talk shit to your best friend about how your husband's eating a fucking asshole last week and da da da whatever all this stuff it's like you're still there's still always going to be a line that you don't cross that you don't say that you're like you're never going to make fun of your partner for fucking crying no top comment on this one with 3.1k upvotes so this potential wife is someone that you will lean on heavily as a spouse. Marriage is not a Disney movie.
You need to know this woman will have your back if you lose your job, if you have a terrible accident, if you have children that are non-typically physically or mentally, if you basically don't have sunshines and rainbows every day. I like the other response where someone said to make her red green flag list.
Have you two really been through challenges together or has she only been with you through smooth sailing? It's how you face challenges together that determine your success and you need to know you can trust her, not the asshole, because your gut is telling you something important. Yep.
Trust your gut. You have to trust your gut.
I know. Someone replies to that comment and goes, having felt more alone with my ex-husband than I do now, actually alone, you are absolutely correct.
And that, that like, that's my biggest fear. Like in life, it's like, it's like, is, is commitment.
I'm a subject area. It's like, stop.
No, it's not commitment. But it's, it's, it's tying yourself to someone or something, anything, a location or a job or a place, just because you want, you, you want to feel community.
You want to feel like you're not alone. And then it does the exact opposite for you.
And you just feel even more isolated. And you also feel like, even more isolated and you also feel like yes you want to be loved but you want to be understood and seen before you're loved honestly and clearly there's a disconnect you can love someone for seven years that's such a long time but if they're not if they don't see you and understand you on a level where they're you know like this wouldn't be sacred then thank, then thank you next.
But that's easier said than done. That's easier said than done.
It totally is. There's a comment here that OP does respond to.
The person says, ask yourself, do you feel that her reaction was a socially constructed response that she'll be able to overcome with introspection? Or is this an embedded personality trait? If you have kids and your boy cries, will his mother think less of him? If it's something you believe she can overcome, then I suggest couples counseling. If you believe she'll treat future children or future you this way, then please cancel your engagement.
And OP goes, even if she overcomes this, the issue is I don't think I'll ever be able to overcome it. I don't know if I'll ever feel comfortable crying in front of her.
And I already feel sort of humiliated that she joked about this with her friend. Yeah, it sounds like he's, it sounds like he's made a decision in his head almost, you know? And obviously it takes someone who knows someone, who knows her very well, to like feel that way already.
already i mean without context and without knowing their relationship i would absolutely have wanted even though yes the situation sucks regardless of how you slice it i think it can also be sliced in a way that's much more positive than the worst case scenario of her just talking shit about him with her friends and it got back, you know, maybe it was like, I'm thinking of scenario,

right?

Devil's advocate here.

I'm paid to do it.

Like,

what if another friend was crying about her boyfriend or like a guy who

dumped her situation ships?

Like we've all been through and we all hate ourselves enough to go through

them.

Right.

And she's talking about like,

I just can't,

I love everything about,

and like,

you're trying to like relate to someone,

but you're in a really loving relationship.

And you're like,

I mean,

no,

yeah.

Like,

is it weird that I got an ick about this or no? Yeah. I mean, I got an ick from my fiance when he cried.
Yes, it's still so inappropriate and you totally shouldn't say it. And it's rude of her.
But I don't. But like the intention behind something is so important, especially in a relationship that's gone on that long.
Yeah. And it's not like I don't I'm not sold that like she's a bad person, not just because she's a woman.
They can be awful, too too look at the mother-in-law from before um but right like i'm not sold that like you could break up and she could be a fine person right it could still mean you break up but i think that she at least he owes it to her maybe after this long to at least let her explain i would agree what the context is because then he can walk if he does walk away the relationship, like, she just don't want him to walk away from, like, someone that he doesn't even know that. Like, it's a lie.
Like, no, I want you to know everything before you leave. Well, and that's the thing, too.
Like, if, you know, this is coming down through the grapevine, I would also, on her side, be upset that my partner didn't at least give our relationship the dignity of a conversation. Like, totally out hear my side what if this is all a miscommunication yeah and he did like ask hey is this true and she said yes it is it's kind of unclear if context was like really explained but at this point he seems like he's still so upset with it regardless someone does ask here though and i find this con this whole thing really They go, has your sister ever said why she and your fiance don't get along? OP says, yes, a few reasons.
She finds it hard to connect with my fiance because their personalities and lifestyle choices are just very different. I've also been spending much less time with my sister than before, and my sister has been upfront that she sometimes gets sad about it and wishes she could spend more time with me.
It all probably started... Yeah.

There's something going on here.

Yeah.

And, and, yeah.

And, and as a sister.

Maybe the blinders.

The blinders might be coming off.

But like, I'm a sister. I have a really close relationship with my siblings, my older brother, my younger sister.
My older brother and I are only two and a half years apart. And like, the episode of yours talking about the, the fucking, the fiance was like, how dare you? I think you're going to hook up with your sister.
And the sister was like nine years old. Oh my God god that literally had sent me into a fucking orbit but right i think that your sibling if you're close with them they are the only ones who've been with you literally since jump they're the only ones who know exactly how you were raised know exactly how you tick you know what makes you tick um and when you're close enough right where they're invited to birthdays and they want to hang out with each other and like red flags are going off.
I think, yeah, like I like I'm with him. If he's this dead set on ending things, I think it sounds like it's the right decision just because like, you know, missing your sister's birthday if you're close with her because you're solely because of your fiance.
I mean, yeah, that that that is indicative of of a lot. I don't fuck with that.
Nope. I would love to know.
My brother better come to my fucking birthday. I would love to know the other stuff or like I would love for the sister to find this and like write in and be like, no, like his fiance has actually been terrible.
And here's everything she's done. Yeah.
Like I I love when other people find the story and then share their side. I love the plot when it develops.
Are you kidding? Especially a twist. I know.
Give it to me. I mean, I love anyone else's life imploding other than mine.
Unfortunately, I literally, my entire job is to help others implode. I feel attacked.
Properly. No, stop.
I feel attacked. Your life is great.
If that's not the reason we're all here, I don't know what what is our takes are hot our love lives are cold not hers but mine welcome back moving along last but not least for us this one is coming from am i the asshole it is titled am i the asshole for giving my daughter a breakdown of what it costs to raise her when she asked me for her university funds? My daughter Ava was a handful growing up. Her dad passed away when she was five, and even with therapy, she was a very angry child.
I still love her very much. She is my daughter, and I would do anything for her that I can.
Her dad didn't have a lot of insurance, but enough to pay off a small house and top up my daughter's 529 education fund. I kept adding to it over the years, not much, but as I could.
When she was 11, I met and married my husband. I thought Ava was okay with it.
She never brought up any problems to me or in our therapy sessions. However, she was not okay with it.
When she was 13, she accused him of something inappropriate. I called the cops immediately.
He was arrested and he lost his job. He was innocent.
She did it to get rid of him. We divorced.
I was obviously heartbroken. I did my best not to take it out on her.
I did punish her. She started acting out.
She got expelled from school, then another school. I ended up having to send her to a private school.
Even with a voucher, it was expensive. It worked though.
She is graduating this year with honors and a scholarship. She asked me about the money in her account.
I said it was all gone. She got very upset because her scholarship won't cover all of the costs.
Even with financial aid, she will still be paying a fair amount. I said I would co-sign a student loan for her, whatever she needs.
She said that she wanted to know where the money went that I wasted. So I got out a pen and paper and I wrote it all down.
The cost of my divorce, the rising cost of living that I paid for by myself since I didn't have a partner, her tuition and fees for private school. By the end, she was crying and saying that I was blaming her for everything.
I've never blamed her. I did punish her for the trouble she caused with my ex, but I think that was reasonable.
She is upset that

she will have to take out a loan. I also made it very clear that I would not be responsible for paying it back.
She thinks I'm being cruel by saying that she is responsible for stupid things she did as a child. I'm not saying that though, but I cannot pull the money I had to spend because of her out of my ass.
So am I the asshole? Yes, but I'm saying this. Why am I scared? No, yes, because a 13-year-old making something up like that, right, to presumably, in her mother's mind, get him, get this guy out of the picture is an extremely wild thing to say.
Because children, 13, right, no matter how mature a 13-year-old is, like, they understand what, like, they understand at that age, like, when I was 13, like, I would understand that there would be consequences to that. I want more elaboration on what we have knowing that she

made it up, right? Because I don't even fuck around with questioning child victims, even in

like a random Reddit post, unless there's something more to it than just the mom's opinion on her

making it up, you know? Because we hear so many stories. I mean, there was a massive story in the

news of a very extremely, I forget her name right now, you know, woman in literature who won the Nobel Prize and her daughter came out years later after she had literally said, yeah, no, she, I reported to my mom that my stepdad was abusing me and she did nothing and she did nothing. And then she was writing all of these inspirational, you know, novels and things about like young girls and childhoods and and all this stuff like she was seen as like feminist icon and then behind the scenes she was you know completely discrediting her daughter so like I I'm hesitant to be like yeah fuck your daughter what a bitch because well how do we know it didn't happen yeah it's really tough I mean it's it's crazy that a 13 year old would be so diabolical to just make that up.
But at the same time, there has been other stories. And I don't know if this was a Patreon or not.
Our Patreon fam is making a list, so this will be easier for me soon. But there was a story where this child did not want a sibling.
And so this child, a 9-year-old or 11-year-old or something pushed their mom down

the stairs to end the pregnancy. See, there are, there aren't so many, there are very few stories

like that. That's why it's so horrifying of children doing very extreme psychopathic things

where either they genuinely don't have something in their brain that we all have that triggers

empathy, or they just genuinely don't understand the consequences of their actions. A lot of times

Thank you. where either they genuinely don't have something in their brain that we all have that that triggers empathy or they just genuinely don't understand the consequences of their actions a lot of times when kids are very adolescent very immature they don't they don't understand that if they do something something else you know one plus one equals two um like putting your hand over a stove that will burn you like that's something that you have you right it comes comes a little later totally believable.
Like that could happen. But right.

Like what?

Like why wouldn't she have followed like the OP have followed up like with saying she made it all up with like explanation on how they know that. Did she admit to making it all up? Yes.
So we do have... Tell me that.
We have so many comments from OP. Let's hit the comment.
If I tried to read them... Right, you're like, fuck.
We would be here all day. Because right, the ultimate question day right the ultimate question is am i the asshole well i also do think right if you still stood by your child if she made it let's say she made it all up right but you stood by your kid and you know you had to take out all this money from her fund to to pay for all these things and you still love her etc etc and your kid is you know demanding this money now whatever all that I mean I don't necessarily think in any scenario regardless of how much you want your kid to understand like I don't think that making your kid feel bad about their existence is helpful in the long run I think that giving your kid like giving your kid a notarized list of every single expense that took out from the fund yeah um like i don't think i don't think that's really necessary i think you just be like look like i had to pay for like broad strokes like i had to pay for the divorce i had to pay for this i had to pay for that i was a single mom i couldn't afford this stuff um you know i would love to help you but i can't but then it's also like well if you like i don't know yeah i will say like knowing just initial posts because i haven't gotten into into these comments at all.
I just, I mean, the post was in itself. In itself a lot of time pack, yeah.
Yeah. But like, I feel like for me hearing this, you know, she is 18 now.
I don't think the mom is necessarily the asshole for giving her this breakdown. It's kind of like that harsh reality.
It just, it is what it is. Yeah.
Could she have maybe like sugarcoated it a little bit for the 18 year old who is, you know, now just an adult and going off to college? Yeah. But at the same time, this girl, this is kind of the reality we're living in.
And she maybe needs to hear this. Like your actions have these long lasting consequences and you're going to have to pay for college like a lot of regular people, sweetie.
Yeah sorry that's fair that's actually really fair sorry no actually that is really fair that's very fair and it's fair because if if if if everything that though be said is true then then the reality that's going to hit you like a fucking truck when you do have consequences for your actions. Yeah.
Whether it be lying about someone's behavior or abuse or, you know, having to pay your way. Yeah.
Yeah, no. You're going to—the consequences are going to sucker punch you.
For sure. And so maybe this absolutely was exactly what this daughter needed.
I mean, it's just kind of— I could see how that could be helpful in the sense of, hey, so, like, I'm going to give you a lesson in lesson in like how much things cost as well. I think that's really helpful.
Especially for private school. Like, you got kicked out.
And you, you got, look, you got kicked the fuck out. And also like in high school curriculum, regardless of whether you're private or public in America, at least in this country, you're never, like you aren't taught basic, like this is how much taxes are.
This is how much you're going to be taking out your paycheck. This is how much shit costs.
This is how much a car payment is. We aren't taught shit.
This is how much apartment is in this area if you'd like to live around here. And if your parents don't teach you that, right, or if you aren't exposed to it young and she's already kind of being, you know, if her attitude is very much like I'm entitled to you to like pay my way, then yeah, I think of a little receipt maybe is helpful for sure you changed me yeah you spun me well and I think it was the way she the daughter kind of came at the mom too where it's like well where is all this money you wasted it wasn't a it wasn't a look I need help but I know you have this fund like why can't I have it in a very you know because if there was if my parents had a fund in my fucking name that was literally titled like Reb Education Fund for her college education.
Yeah. And I thought in my head that they were like holding onto it when I didn't want to take out loans, right? Like I wanted to focus on school.
I would absolutely be like, hey, not saying that I'm entitled, but like, what's up with that? Right? Like, what's up with that? But yeah, I just, I think that the way that she approached it is very is is very much also showing her immaturity yeah and the daughter has a right to be upset like i get it's probably a shock you're going through school and you're excited to go to college and have a free ride but the mom's like i'm upset i've been through it they're both just you know they're going through it but let's get into some of these comments from op so people are asking, how do you know that she wasn't telling the truth? Like, charges were dropped, whatever, but like, still, what if she was telling the truth? So OP responds, the police investigated. The charges were dropped for lack of evidence.
Also, there was evidence that what she claimed was impossible. I will give one example.
My ex worked in his truck. She claimed he came home during the day.
His truck had a tracker from his employer and a camera that showed he was on the other side of the city. Yeah.
So, a lot of comments. I had a partner.
He made a good living with him here. I could have saved more.
I could not have spent that money on her high school then. I used the money for her education.
People are asking about the ex. Is he okay? Things like that.
My ex is okay. We still talk.
He got a new job. He is still angry.
He wants nothing to do with her. OP says, she got him arrested and caused him to lose his job by lying.
Should he be happy about it and have stuck around to fund her life? Do you think it was easy for me to start a relationship with a man after they found out what she did? Because that's true, too. Like, this daughter's with you for your life.
You know, like, it's not. You marry the kid, too, for sure.
And I think, too, like, clearly the mom was doing something before that even happened. She heard that kid was in therapy with her, right? She mentioned, like, in therapy, she never said she had a problem with this relationship, et cetera.
And that's also, like, the real—and yes, of course, like, we're talking about a child, right? Like, look, like, the amount of times I was 13 beefing with a 45-year-old teacher, please, you know what I mean? And then now that I'm older, I'm like, what the fuck was her? Like, why was she—I she why was a terrorist why was she beefing with me though i was like it wasn't that serious but right this is obviously much bigger than that um and the way that a 13 year old or even earlier right because it's like yeah 13 was when this all thing happened but let's assume that they started dating before then it wasn't probably a two-day romance they she was probably 10 11 12 let's, let's say. Like, what was coming up in, like,

you know what I mean? Like, how is this not coming up in therapy of her just, like, not talking about her negative feelings toward this relationship? And if that never came up, then after this thing, this all happened, then, like, do you have a sit-down conversation with your daughter and say, look, like, I'm really fucking mad at you. I love you forever.
Yeah. But really mad and angry because what, like, why, why didn't you, not just why did you do this? Because we clearly know why.
Why didn't you tell me beforehand? Like, of course, I want you to be happy as a mother when you're dating someone for sure. I know so many parents who, moms who were single parents who were dating again and they were like, no, like, unless my daughter's out of the house, like, I do not want to make her uncomfortable even if I think this is love of my life and he'll wait around, right? Until she's 18.
Why didn't her daughter just, like, why didn't you feel safe enough to tell me that? But you felt safe enough to expose my ex for, like, something you never did? It's- Clearly, you don't have a confidence issue. No, and it begs the question question of like, is she okay in the head? Because that is very diabolical.
Psychopathic. Just because sociopathic, psychopathic, like you don't have, there's no empathy there.
Like even if you didn't like this person, he didn't deserve that. He didn't deserve it.
Yeah. And your mom didn't deserve that.
No. I mean, good.
I mean, these are outliers. Good on the mother for believing her child because there are so many, too many cases of parents who do not believe their damn kid.
Listen to your kid. Your kid is not this.
Yes. 99% of the time will not be the ones making it up just to get what they want.
Oh, my God, no. Believe your kid.
That's why it's so crazy. so crazy yes because because kids at 13 like they're not this diabolical typically and they're not thinking that far ahead of like yay like yeah and she did the right thing she protected her kid yeah as any parent should do in this situation i think that if that would have happened again she would have done the same as i think exactly of course there's so many comments from op i will be sure to link this post um There's a comment here.
People are accusing her of stealing this money. And she goes, how did I steal the money when I used it for her education? She basically are implying like, no, I still think he did it, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And she goes, no, I think the cops and my ex's lawyers proved pretty conclusively that she was lying and she admitted it. So there that yeah i was waiting for that too i believed my daughter would you have taken a chance exactly yeah so it's like good on the mom good on the mom this is surprising we have an update on this one oh okay i did not know this existed i'm so nervous and excited update i'm not yaying like yay people suffering, but you get did not know this existed.
Amazing. I'm so nervous and excited.

Update.

I'm not yaying like, yay, people suffering, but you get it.

Give me the tea.

Yeah.

Thank you all for the comments, even the ones where you called me a raving bitch for calling the cops after my daughter's allegations.

Fuck those people.

First, my ex was completely cleared.

He was never home at the time.

She alleged the essay.

We have security cameras in my house.

There are exactly zero videos of him entering her room or being inappropriate with her in the common areas. I've already commented on the other evidence that got the charges against my ex dropped.
She admitted the truth and said that she was doing it to get him out of our house. He is doing okay now.
He has a new job and he and I still talk. Her excuse was that she didn't think I would immediately call the cops.
She thought I would just kick him out since it is my house. She felt trapped and like she couldn't back down.
She has never apologized to him. She has been in therapy since she was five, both on her own and with me.
To my knowledge, she never mentioned anything about SA to her therapist and they are mandated reporters. Second, I told her that I will not be co-signing her loans.
I told her that I will be backing her up and doing my best to make sure that she does not default, but I'm not risking my home or my future for her. She fully understands now where her savings went.
She is upset with herself mostly now. She realizes that the private school was my

last choice and only necessary because of choices she made. Thank you all for your help.
Third, since I do not care about karma, I will be giving this account to either blah, blah, blah, or blah, blah, blah tomorrow. They are welcome to delete the posts or sell the account for the 0.59 it is worth.
Interesting. I've never heard of that, but thanks for the details.
Thanks for that. Okay.
I mean, yeah, I think the complexities of parenting, this one is as complex as you can get. But I think that that is a fair decision.
For her to want to still be in her daughter's life and love her kid despite the horrible things she did. Oh, my God.
I mean, what do you do? It's still your baby. Yeah.
And you don't want them to fail, right? You don't want to set them up to fail. But I don't think withholding as much financial support as you could possibly conjure isn't necessarily setting up your kid to fail.
No. They got to land on their own two feet.
Yeah. And I think like, you know, there's so many people out there that do all of this on their own.
They come to this country on their own. They establish themselves on their own.
They have to go to college and pay for it on their own. Like I didn't have help paying for college.
I had some help with dorm and things like that, but I have the student loans to back it up. Like that is kind of a normal thing.
She might realize she doesn't want to go to college and she can pursue other things. Like your parents aren't necessarily responsible for paying for your education.
The fact that she was willing to sign was really generous. But I do think that's a little bit of a risk.
Those Perkins loans or whatever the hell they are, Perkins Plus, that's a scary thing.

If you can't pay it off and your parent could lose their house, that's scary.

And definitely, you have to trust your kid as much as your kid's supposed to trust you when they get to an adult age especially.

The power dynamic shifts and you can't just put your livelihood in your house everything at risk on a kid that isn't that trustworthy and a kid that probably isn't gonna you know follow through on their on on the on their obligations their promises whatever and i think it's fair it's too big of a risk yeah and yeah and trust is built regardless of how much you love your child and and especially adult children it's just a different dynamic yeah I do appreciate the fact that she is now realizing like oh this is because of what I did she cried not that like psychopaths can't cry but right like when her mom was telling her this like I think that of course also of course like her mom's the one telling the, I mean, yes, her daughter did something horrible, if all that's true. But, you know, I think that the depth or level of that daughter's remorse could very much be also experienced in private.
Like maybe she's feeling really guilty on the side. Like maybe she's having a coming to Jesus moment.
Yeah. We can only hope.
And you also like in that update, she did say she was too scared to back down. Yeah.
The 13-year-old got the ball rolling and it's one of those things like, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. Yeah.
You're 13. You don't know that you're not going to get in trouble if you say, oh, I was lying.
Right. You think you have to keep it going.
Right. Not to excuse any of what she did because she did ruin someone's life this man lost his job he's got a whole workplace that thinks he is a pedophile right the social damage from that right the financial damage he had to get lawyers he had to do all this to just prove he was innocent like there are multiple lives that were ruined in this whole process but it is what it is does.
Does a 13-year-old know? Like, no, I'm not saying does 13-year-old know that all the hell happened, but I think what it sounds like is the 13-year-old thought that the only result that would come from this would be him kicked out and his parents broken up. And yes, that's a very naive, immature thing to think.
But again, she's naive and immature. Of course she is.
I'm not excusing what she did. But I think that it's much easier to stomach the fact that a 13-year-old could do that because it's not because that the ultimate result was what she had diabolically planned the whole time.
but it's because the snowball she she's a kid you know I mean I'm imagining like images of like kids you know in middle school age

whatever who like get caught get caught like they should get red in the face no i didn't no i didn't you know and they don't realize because they don't have the experience and context yet that you need to just right it's all on the sword babes like it's spiraling and you didn't think this was going to happen you need to fall on the sword but with something that big i know how do you teach your kids like right like i mean hey don't hey yeah like enough law and order svu like you can't well no more law and order svu so you can see how terrible it could you know it can ruin someone's life as it should if they did do those things but i yeah i i think that there's i in this case there might be a finer line between you know a normal kid doing this who very much fucking thoroughly fucked up but like you know I don't think they're necessarily yes for sure a psycho path. The kid pushing his mother down the fucking stairs I'm thinking it's a path it's one of the paths.
Yeah I think they did do brain scans on that one., because he knew what the result would be. They knew what the result would be.
Here, I think that she was so fucking naive. Somehow, someway, she was naive enough to genuinely believe that this wouldn't happen.
Or she's totally a psycho. That's why, I mean, look, I'm childless.
Time will tell. I am currently childless.
And this is going to definitely go in my con column. But look, listen listen believe children yes because yes it's horrible but you would rather have genuinely as a society just as a voter as a person I would rather have this happen than to have the opposite where there is a path of child victims yeah behind one person who's protected of course and I'm sure the ex has his own thoughts, but right..
But, right? Like, it's hard. Yes.
If you look at, you know, the outcomes of, like, believing your kid and, like, doing a thorough investigation, like, it's worth it. It's worth it.
And you prove that he was innocent, right? Like, that's the thing, too, is, you know, I, the mom didn't, I would never want any doubt. I would never want a single shredded down my my fucking mind.
I hate what ifs. For something that fucking serious,

someone touching my child.

You always,

you have to evaluate.

Yeah.

You have to.

And that's why when people are like,

I just don't want to know,

or oh no,

it's probably X, Y, Z.

Get your head out of the sand.

I'm like,

okay,

100% hate you.

Get your head out of the sand.

Yep.

Well,

that is so wrong,

it feels illegal.

Definitely,

definitely the last one.

A few people need sentences.

They're not legal yet, but maybe this is the start.

Laws can change.

The switching twins, the sister who gave the blanket.

Hashtag where's the blanket.

Hashtag where's the blanket.

I would love for that person to find this and send me the blanket. Right here.
It can just be a souvenir. Please, please.
I'd love that. Reb, thank you so much for coming on.
It was amazing. Thanks for having me.
Where can people find you? Listen to your podcast. Again, what's your podcast called? Because it's so good.
Rebuttal pod. My name's Reb.
Reb Maisel. So I thought rebuttal would just be cute and kitschy.
You know, whatever. And it's still legally.
Right? It's still legal. Yes, you can find me everywhere at at Reb Maisel on TikTok, on Instagram, on Twitter, and then rebuttal pod on YouTube.
And you can hear in long form me usually having an opinion and some chat about some people and some cases that are insane. Give people like one of the craziest cases you've had on your show.
Like what one is like really sticking with you? Well, the one that I've been thinking about a lot recently is, um, so a dad, his son was married, married a fiance that he didn't like. Okay.
The father, all right. And the father owned like a bunch of apartment buildings and they leased them out.
So they, he had a, he was sitting very big buddy pretty big fortune so his son marries his wife so of course right like the way that inheritance works in in california and most places like it's gonna go it's gonna go to the sun which would then you know his wife would benefit and he hated his son's wife so much that he was like i don't even want her to see a dime so the son okay um have some drug problems, but he got sober. And then he did have a relapse and he ended up relapsing and overdosing in a hotel room.
And his dad ended up finding him. And so what any loving father would do, right, when you see your son's body, accidental overdose in a hotel room is say, how can I keep my money safe? So he took his son's body and put it behind the wall of one of the apartment complexes that they owned and rented out.
Yep. I swear on my life, stack of holy Bibles.
Okay. Hand on a stack of holy Bibles, swear, that people were living in, right? Put, hid his body behind the wall for eight years.
It sat there. And what he told the wife, right? Because his wife was like, where's my husband? He's not coming home.
That he wanted to start a new life and left and just flew somewhere abroad. And, and, and there was no evidence that he did anything different.
So, so there was no investigation, like anything, but right. So when the, right.
So the dad's will was set up that all this stuff would go to the son well like you know he he basically made it made sure um that like anything the son had like it wouldn't go to the right wouldn't go to the wife um yeah and i'm still back at the wall right right the wall yeah so so yeah the son's body is behind this wall this behind this fucking wall and it's basically like you know um he just wanted to make sure that whatever money that his son ever got like it wouldn't go to the wife it would go to the son's kids as opposed to like the wife because typically it's like whatever so it's this whole thing so it turns out ends up that eight years later the police show up to the guy's house and he had killed himself the father had killed himself at his home and they found the son's body behind the wall because they were like, something fucking small's in here. Father's dead.
The son's body's behind the wall and there's a will that's written on a shitty piece of napkin. Like literally like someone just like threw it on top of the son's body.
And it was the son's will, I say with quotes, giving everything that he owned to, I think someone else, like someone else. Okay, not the wife.
Being like, nothing for my wife. Bye.
Love, Gretchen Wieners. Bye.
Like, literally, like, heart. Okay? What the hell? So, the case that this is, okay, is not a murder case.
It's not anything like that. It's a will's trust and a state's case because this case went up to the California Court of Appeal on whether this will qualified and could be entered in.
Sure, shit doesn't. But of course, the husband's estate and the son's estate are two different things.
Of course, the husband's estate is going to claim, oh no, you know what I mean? He left all the money to me. I'm pretty sure it went in a circle per the son's will.
It was supposed to go back into the husband's estate or some shit like that. So the representative of the son's estate was like, no, it's a good will you know i don't know it's a goodwill and so his wife was like no it's not it's not a goodwill so but right you have to prove this shit so so there was a bunch of reasons why like the way that the wife was referenced he never called her by her full first name it was always like a nickname first name and like she only used her full name certain times but he was using her full name the entire, right? Throughout the entire will.
Do you see how there's like, and also like the signature was a little weird, but like the phrasing was also weird. And also like he spelled one person's name wrong.
So it's literally like a, like it is very interesting. Right.
And it would be super interesting. Like you're like, wait, what? Right.
There were literally like, cause the court has to go through all the factors of like, okay, why would this be fake?

Like we have to prove it

because wills are accepted.

You could write in blood

against a side of a tractor

which someone did in Canada

and it was accepted.

I give everything to my wife

as he was laying dying

and it was seen as a good will.

It was totally fine

because right,

there are only a few factors

you need for a will.

You don't need a witness,

you don't need a notary,

you don't need any of that shit.

All you need to do,

literally, yeah.

Isn't that crazy? Isn't that fucking crazy? What? You don't need a witness. You don't need a notary.
You don't need any of that shit. All you need to do, literally, yeah,

isn't that crazy?

Isn't that fucking crazy?

What?

You don't need,

like people always go,

you know,

witness and notary.

Notaries,

you don't need,

you don't need those

for a fucking will,

okay?

You need,

you need basically

for enough proof

in most cases

to show that you wrote it,

that it's actually

your last will and testament

and that you signed it

in some way,

right?

Some way,

shape or form.

And that's not legal advice,

okay? There's other factors and shit, but like, right, you don't, people always two witnesses there's yes that's a general rule yeah but there's always exceptions to the rule and we call them holographic wills i did not know when they kind of are like rogue wills where we're like are we gonna accept this like under extreme circumstances and it's like we're i mean i'm that's why i love the law so much because i'm like of course we're going to conform the to situations that you're right. If someone's writing their fucking will and blood on the side of a tractor, we should maybe pause before giving all of their money in a state to somebody else.
Right. Like literally you could find and there's a photo online.
It's a piece of the tractor taken. It's in a museum in Canada.
I swear my life. It's so I wanted to say I want to say it's like if you wanted to, he would.
You know what I mean I mean like so cute but it's horrible and like whatever um but right basically long story long the judge at the end was like yeah this will's bullshit not correct but also what the fuck like isn't the kids get taken care of then yeah like they and the wife ended up getting the estate for you know the way it passed whatever like there was no will so it wouldn't like you know or you know it passed normally um but right like isn't isn't that like he hated this bitch so bad and there was no proof that she ever was like like he didn't dislike her for a reason right he just fucking didn't like her like there was no reason he didn't like her and he they have kids like you have grandkids so you want to make sure they're taken care of no no he wanted to do it himself like he didn't want her to touch a single dime a single dizzy which i which is like petty levels that i don't think i'm ever gonna reach no and hope never to but imagine like and it was a an apartment in berkeley and people who have listened to that episode it's called the body behind the wall they're like i literally got dms literally because i have photos up on the youtube of like the photo of the fucking apartment it's like a night it's like a new this happened in the 2000s by the way this is like 2012 I want to get an x-ray machine. This happened in the 2000s, by the way.
This is like 2012.

I want to get an x-ray machine.

This is not like 1970s.

And check walls.

This is like 2008.

Like this is like early.

Like this is not,

or this is like could have happened yesterday.

She was like,

I fucking live next door.

You fucking,

and nobody knows about this.

They're like,

I fucking,

what?

Because it's like,

why would that make the news?

Because you have to understand wills.

Be a lawyer,

they said.

So.

Isn't that wild? What the fuck? You're're like can you give us like a two second like summary of the case and i'm like let me give you 40 minutes no that was incredible i'm like and i'm gonna let you come take over my show because i want to i want to experience this firsthand like flip-flop wow amazing check out the patreon guys because there's gonna be some some stories from this theme heading over there i don't i don't fucking know if they'll top that thank god that story was at the end of the episode now damn right god lord but thank you again for coming on thanks for having me loved it we are on tour be sure to check out if we're coming to your city i'm potentially a couple. I hear you in the comments of the post.

Hell yeah.

So look at that.

But other than that, until next time, guys.

Bye.