169: You're a Red Flag..

I think we're ready.

I have my alpaca blanket I got from a farmer's market covering my feet.

I have a nice little mezcal drink beside me.

And I got you.

You just threw yourself like a fish trying to jump out of the water.

You gotta.

Are you ready?

Bob the Builder.

Can he fix it?

I don't know what that is. What'd you get on the couch, Justin? Not for me.
What'd you get on the couch, Justin? Looks like chocolate, so it's either you or Jerry. I plead the fifth.
Okay, well, welcome back, everyone, to another episode of Two two hot takes we are filming in our house this is the first anything i think besides ads that we've done here

and probably the first and only no this is pretty comfy setup i could i could get with this

until the studio's done you know well this will be good this will be good yeah i'm so so so excited for this episode there was like a comment from someone a couple weeks ago and they were like justin's a red flag and that was a while ago yeah and someone was in the comments like defending you after and they were like, no, you're a red flag. And so that's what inspired this theme today is just a bunch of crazy stories that we're going to be sussing out if if that person is a red flag or not so much a red flag or who's the red flag.
It is interesting when you go from like those are red flags actions or things that happen yeah things like that to becoming the entire red flag i know i mean that's just you're the opposite of a red flag like we were just talking the other day and i think this is why that comment just just kind of peeved me so much. It was like, Morgan, run.
And I'm like, oh my God, you know nothing about this guy. Justin is the whole reason this podcast exists.
I've talked about it in a couple of interviews I've done, but as you guys know, I graduated in April of 2020 with an OT degree. Couldn't get a job for months and months and months.
Was living with a California food stamp card and off my credit card. Super, super depressed.
And I had talked about a show and starting a podcast. I had talked about it for about a year before it happened.
But Justin got me all of the equipment as a Christmas gift and taught me how to edit, taught me how to do all of this. And there was another time in there during COVID where I was just having like the worst week.
And you're like, come get in the car. Let's go.
You know, come on. We're gonna go for for a ride and we drove to the grove like a shopping place in la and he's like i just have to run in and get something real quick and he ran in and came out with a box of airpods because like i didn't have any money to buy them for myself and he just wanted to surprise me with a nice gift because i was sad you are the exact opposite of a red flag i love you well.
Well, thank you. I love you, too.
Oh, you're just so sweet. Today, he shows up with flowers after I had a tough day.
There's just a lot going on in life outside of this show that's been really stressful. And I feel like last week's episode, I edited it and I was like, damn, I was so fiery.
I was just like in that.

I only slept three hours, like slap happy energy. And now I'm like in the comfort of my home, feeling more zen.
I'm on the three hours this time though. Yeah.
Yeah. You didn't get the best sleep last night.
I think it just makes me more just. Hmm.
Zen. Just like in a dimly lit candlelit room with soothing spa music in Iceland.

Oh, man.

Any day of the week.

Take me back to Iceland.

Okay.

Well, let's get into all of these red flags, you guys.

Let's dive in.

Let's go. do you think our neighbors are like looking through the window and like what are they filming in there all those lights in their living room yeah they said they created online content our neighbors are probably terrified well that's why we got the blinds now i know you guys we didn't have blinds for like two months we had towels and um like really weird stuff over our window to block out or we just lived without them you just kind of get used to it it was so bright okay okay let's get into this before i get distracted again yeah you tell that yeah yeah yeah okay i might feel about like this about this story yeah that can be your little outlet i know i don't have my stress rock anymore it's at the studio So this one is four days old.
It's coming from AITAH, titled, Am I the Asshole for Telling My Brother-in-Law and His Wife That I Don't Want to Follow Their Birth Plan?

So I, 34 female, am a surrogate for my brother-in-law, Simon, 39 male, and his wife, Michelle, 38 female.

Simon and Michelle have struggled with infertility for years.

They've tried IVF and even surrogacy before, but the person changed her mind at the last second. They have outwardly shown their jealousy of my husband, James, 34 male, and me for having children, especially as only one of them was planned, and our oldest was born when we were 16.
They came to me last year and begged me to be their surrogate. I had doubts, as did my husband, but I felt bad for them and decided to go through with it.
James supported my decision and has acted like he did with my previous pregnancies, sweet and caring. Simon and Michelle, on the other hand, are very controlling.

They made up meal plans for me, and I'm taking all these supplements as well as attending multiple classes.

When I told them I knew what to do during pregnancy, they didn't listen and said to me that just because I was pregnant four times doesn't mean I'm an expert.

I gave up trying to dissuade them as I knew nothing would work.

We started going over the birth plan earlier this week and it caused a huge argument. They wanted me to do an unmedicated water birth and I flat out refused.
For my second pregnancy, I didn't have enough time for any pain relief and the pain was horrific. I have quite a high pain tolerance, but this experience was awful, and I never wanted to do that again.
Kudos to anyone who has unmedicated births. As for the water birth, I don't like the idea of being submerged in water with blood, other fluids, and possibly poop.
They weren't very happy about this. They said this was their baby, and they should decide how they were born.
I retorted and said, this is my body and I should decide how I want to push out a human that I am so generously caring for you. A lot of shouting happened and I started to get overwhelmed very quickly.
I started crying and Michelle rolled her eyes and told me to grow up. James told her to shut up, which started Simon off, and it was just a mess.
James and I left the house, and I was crying the whole way home and regretting ever agreeing to be their surrogate. It took James and me a few days to calm down, and during those days, we didn't have any contact with Simon or Michelle.
Simon and Michelle called James' parents and complained to them about what happened. So they called us and we explained our side of the story.
They were shocked at what happened and said they were fully on our side and that they would talk to Simon and Michelle. I'm due in two weeks and I'm so nervous.
A part of me doesn't want them there, but I know they have to be,

seeing as it's their child. James disagrees.
He said that he'll have them kicked out if they do anything to upset or stress me out. Even my oldest agrees with him, and he won't even be in the room.
I sort of do feel like an asshole, but I don't know. It's a hard time right now.
No, no, no thanks. This is a nightmare.
This is really bad. You're already doing such a, I don't even know what the right word is.
Huge, massive life altering favor that they can never repay ever, ever, ever, ever. And life-risking, technically.
Yes, very. And so I think the first annoying part is, yeah, I am a fucking expert because I've had four kids.
I mean, I don't know if you're ever truly an expert in that, but you definitely know what you're doing. Absolutely.
And you've definitely had four, from what we know of, totally fine kids. If it ain't wrong, don't, what? If it ain't fixed, don't break it? No.
Like- If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Clearly you didn't screw up and kill your kids in pregnancy, you know, the first time by doing something wrong.

Yeah. I feel like you know what you're, you're doing.
You've been down this road. It feels like really condescending to, to like, be like, well, just because you've had four births doesn't make you an expert.
They should be bowing down to her. They should be like, you are giving us everything.
I don't understand why they think it's within their right to dictate the birth plan. I'm not even there yet.
Oh God, I'm so mad. I'm still on the, just dictating the entire pregnancy process.
I know. Dude, like, no, I are, from the moment I signed up, that should be it.
Yeah. Obviously we're checking in and, you know, I'll keep you updated, but I don't need to be micromanaged because I'm doing you this.
I can't even call it a favor. It feels bigger than a favor.
Favor doesn't feel right. It does feel bigger than a favor.
And especially with your experiences in the past, do it how you want. Oh my God, dude.
It's like, obviously it's not like we're in some type of different situation where it's like, all right, screw it. Then I'm out.
Like, no, we're obviously

we're locked in and this is happening. So I think kind of what your husband is saying is right.

James is spot on. If they do any sort of thing, I think like I picture a yield sign and no matter what happens on that day, everyone and everything yields to the person giving birth.
Yeah. It doesn't matter.
It reminds me of that story when the lady's like yelling at the fucking doctor because he was doing crazy shit. Oh, that story was horrendous.
And it's like, you are justified in saying anything you want to in that process. I know.
I just can't even fathom going through it. But also you add in a layer of these ungrateful, I just, they honestly are, they're acting spoiled.
Like this was owed to them. Like she owed them this and it just leaves such a bad taste in your mouth.
Well, especially for someone who's doing them such a service. And it kind of seems that OP was recognizing the red flags that were coming from Simon and Michelle, the brother in law and his wife.
Like she mentions they have outwardly shown their jealousy of my husband and I for having so many kids. Like she knew that was going on, but still put her feelings aside and said, I want you guys to have a kid.
I'll do it for you. And then to be treated like you're just some incubator, you're going to eat this.
You're going to take these supplements. You're going to go to these classes.
You're going to give birth the way we want. This is your family member who's doing a kindness for you, not an incubator.
And a surrogate should never be treated like an incubator. That is a human being who is going above and beyond risking their life and their future going forward because there could be pelvic floor dysfunction.
There could be so many other things. And not to mention the nine months of pregnancy.
I mean, it is, I don't think, like, I know you can pay a surrogate, but no matter what they're getting paid, like, that doesn't seem like everything we know. It's wild to me.
So I think it's really hard with this one because obviously not the asshole, not the asshole at all. But I do see where she's kind of coming from where it's like, I feel like I have to have them there.
And I disagree with that. I do agree with her husband, James.
I don't think you need to have them in the room with you. I think they can be in the waiting room.
And I think, yes, it could create issues. You might have some strained family relationships after that.
But I think it is so worth it to not be stressed and overwhelmed when you're in such a vulnerable position. And that's what they deserve after the way they treated OP.
And they could, you know, come into the room early on, but then for like pushing and things like that, like keep them out of there. I picture them yelling push.
I picture them having their phones out filming. They, they totally would.
They give, they give that energy. I'm surprised they didn't plant cameras in her house

to make sure she's not doing anything wrong.

They probably did.

These people are giving crazy.

Like, I wonder if the birthing plan was discussed

before any of this went down.

I wonder.

And now it feels like it's being manipulated or changed

that we're at the goal line.

Maybe.

You signed up to get a kid.

You're going to get a kid.

So go away.

Yeah.

It's like Amazon Prime.

Kids coming.

Go away.

You're not going to be out like in the truck with the driver looking for your package.

Wait until it shows up.

Yeah.

Just pretend there's a stork coming.

Just there's a little stork.

Just chill.

I wonder when you do hire a surrogate

and maybe if there's listeners out there

that like have gone through this with a surrogate,

are you even in the room?

I feel like that would be a very personal choice

for the surrogate and their comfortability with-

It's probably negotiated.

Yeah.

I feel like a lot of these things are full on contracts.

They should be. They really should be.
I feel like some are. Yeah.
Yeah. I feel like a lot of these things are full on contracts.
They should be. They really should be.
I feel like some are. Yeah.
Yeah. I could see that.
Top comment on this one. Not the asshole.
Quote, we want you to have an unmedicated birth. We know the pain will be hideous for you, but that's a sacrifice we're willing to make.
Yeah. No, they don't get to make those decisions no that's like okay

yeah I'll just go torture myself. That's cool.
And I'm doing it for you. I think a lot of people who do unmedicated either in the situation like her where it's, oh my God, it's happening.
There's no time and you don't really have a choice. Yeah.
Or maybe some health issues that prevent you. Maybe you're allergic to the specific medicine or something.
Or there's the people you hear about that want to experience it fully. Empower to them.
That's their decision for their birth, not for someone else's birth. No.
You know what I mean? People make that choice for themselves. I actually had a conversation on Patreon with people lately because there was a story we had.
And I was like, can you share if you've had a positive birth story? And there were so many on there that actually did have really positive birth stories, and some of which were unmedicated. And they were like, I didn't even feel it.
It felt like I was pushing out a hard poop. And I was like, what? That's like the people that get a hundred million tattoos and they're like, yeah, I didn't really feel them.
It just felt like an itch. No, it didn't.
No, it did not. I really don't want to be pregnant, but I go back and forth because I'm like, surrogacy is really, it's a lot.
It's hard. And I'm like, it's going to happen.
I feel like we'll have one the normal way. But God, I'm just like, I'm so curious how my pain tolerance and everything will be.
Crazy. There's another comment after the top one.
With how they act, I'm truly not surprised that the other person doing the surrogacy for them backed out. And that's such a good point.
That is another red flag. They knew they could see it.
That other person backing out. Well, and I honestly feel like she probably expected some of this yeah because

she knows she knows them pretty damn well i'm assuming but you know i think it's i like the

husband's position on it whatever you need that day no matter what it is you got it you need them

gone they're gone you need them not to be there at all, they're not there at all. That's how this has to happen.
And then we'll sort it out later. Bottom line, hopefully we have a nice successful birth.
Everyone's healthy and fine and we can deal with all the shit later. Yeah.
But that's the priority here. OP, healthy OP and healthy baby.
Yeah. Just- Because you can sort it out later.
Yeah. There are a lot of comments on this one.
People are asking, are you getting any financial compensation for being their surrogate? Yeah. OP says, I'm not getting anything.
I figured that. So these people really need to shut their fucking mouths.
They need to go away. Shut up.
OP does elaborate that they will not be carrying any more children for them. They did not have conversations really beforehand.
I realize now that we should have planned it more thoroughly,

but hopefully nothing else happens.

And once this baby gets here,

we can put it behind us.

To be honest,

I don't know why we didn't.

I feel really stupid about not discussing everything,

but honestly,

it's kind of like,

I get that.

You think about the big things.

It's like,

okay,

we're going to,

you know, implant your egg. That's obviously a big big thing but then it's like the finer details of like are you gonna come to the first checkup and then every other like there's so many things that go into a baby carrying a baby and like all this stuff so I feel like it would be easy to overlook the way you said that was just crazy a carrying a baby.
I know there was like a comma in the middle. Yeah.
I get it now. It was a run on for sure.
Yeah. I think because if you look at it legally, she goes into the hospital, gives birth.
If she was like, get those people out of here, legally those people would be removed. I think.
Yes. Yes.
Because she's the one in there giving birth. It doesn't matter where the kid came from.
There's no ownership. It's I'm here to do this and it's just got to be her way.
Yeah, absolutely. Okay.
Moving along. Okay.
I'll relax a little. I don't know if you should relax because this next one is coming from our very own 2HotTakes subreddit.
Bow! It is four days old, titled, My wife wants to raise our one-year-old and our newborn as twins. A few weeks ago, my second son was born.
He was somehow born on the exact day my one-year-old was born. I thought this was just a neat coincidence and joked about how much money we would save on birthday parties.
My wife, however, is taking it a lot more seriously. She is set on the idea of raising our two boys as twins.
She's always wanted twins and she said the fact that they were born on the same day is a sign from God. She says if they were raised as the same age, they would be able to go to school together, having each other's backs, and believing that they would be closer as twins rather than just siblings.
I told her I'd rather not psychologically torture my son for the rest of his life, but she's adamant that we will tell him when he grows up, and it's only so he can be closer to his brother for now. I also brought up that they clearly do not look the same age, and she says by the time they're one and two, no one will be able to tell the difference.
Does she have any sort of point? Question mark. Well, this is something I've never once ever in my life considered.
This is weird. This is a bit of a red flag.
Something's up here. Yeah, I'm curious on her background.

Does she have siblings? Did she always

want a twin? Did she have friends

that were twins and she was jealous of

that bond? I always

wanted a twin growing up. Like, I

wanted to have a twin sister. So you

have some good perspective on this one.

Yeah.

I mean, it is. It's kind of

cool they were born on the same day.

They have the same birthday. It's kind of

cool. It's cool, but like

Thank you. Yeah.
I mean, it is. It's kind of cool they were born on the same day.
They have the same birthday. It's kind of cool.
It's cool, but like. But it's.
It's not. I don't know.
And I think. They aren't twins.
They're not. They're not twins.
I think it does more harm than good. Let them be their own individual people.
Let them be age appropriate. Like one and two.
Yes. Okay.
It's just a year. And by the time, you know, they get to maybe seven or eight, that's not as noticeable as a difference.
But one versus a two-year-old is so different. Like a one-year-old is just, you know, really starting to walk a two-year-old toddler running around, like developmentally, brain-wise.
I mean mean I think it could just hurt and boys typically I mean from what I've experienced are not as like academically like ready like a lot of boys benefit from going to kindergarten later and so who are you gonna are you gonna hold back are you to send the other one early thus damaging who? Like this isn't, this isn't some easy, oh, they're twins now. How are you going to fake a birth certificate for school? Well, really, I feel like all the reasons, I don't think their bond will be any different.
They're brothers. They're either going to be each other's best friend or not.
You know, coming from an only child here. But I am curious because I'm sure we have some twins listening.
Does the fact that you're twins add any pressure to a relationship between the two of you in the sense that, oh, you two must be so close. And is there a pressure to be so bonded and so alike or not? Just totally out of curiosity.
And are her reasons for wanting this at all justified? I know it's what she wants, so it's real to her. But is there anything to back this up at all? Or is it just simply kind of she's on her own island and just kind of wants this just cause? Yeah, I don't know.
Aren't you kind of curious? Yeah, people comment, let us know. There is a comment that OP responds to.
Someone goes, sorry, but this is ridiculous. Why set yourself up to constantly lie to your kids? One will think he is much more advanced and the other more behind than the other and end up resenting each other and you.
Don't underestimate the importance that honesty has on child development and security. Another thing, no one else will keep this this lie up family and friends will point out the inaccuracy and cause further issue true well and also because it's like still why it's so strange what's the big deal i scrolled way down on the same thread and someone goes if if God wanted you to have twins, he would have gave you twins, not a sign.
Yeah, true. Yeah.
This is interesting. As someone with a sibling about 12 months older, we grew up being treated the same, same hairstyle, same clothes, same toys, et cetera.
And basically basically were likened to twins, except I was a year younger. So I either wasn't allowed or wasn't capable of doing the same things.
I think it might have given me a bit of a head start when it came to education, but the trade-off was constantly comparing myself to my sibling and not understanding why I wasn't good enough. I'm sure it's hard enough being actual twins, but having all the expectations and never being able to measure up is grossly unfair.
See, that's kind of what I was thinking a little bit with all that. Yeah.
A lot of people are like basically saying this would be super abusive, which I could kind of see that. Like, I think it's very psychologically abusive yeah it's like i think it's kind of the same as like lying to a kid that they're not adopted right like i think kids are owed honesty yeah so well yeah it doesn't really matter what you're lying about and you know there's there's all these other things that you have to learn that aren't real at a certain age so you know no reason to stack more things on there so op does reply to those comments though about like lying and school and all of these things and op goes i brought this up to her her entire family is on her side this is what they've all been praying for apparently i don't know what to do.
Why? Why? Why are we praying for this? I don't know. What difference does it make? Someone goes, does she understand that you would have to commit fraud to pull this off? Lying to schools, doctors, the passport office.
This is literally delusional. Oh, I didn't think we were taking it that far.
I feel like if she wants to say they're twins, you're going to be lying to a school. Well, are you going to Photoshop a birth certificate? Or because the years are going to be different.
I don't know. Oh, my God.
This is wild. And then one has to wait an extra year to get their driver's license? Or there's going to be a 15-year-old driving on the road if she's really going to forge stuff.
And then 21? This is, yeah. This is like a long-term commitment.
I wouldn't mind everyone thinking I was 21 when I was 20. That would have made things a little easier.
It's a long-term commitment. This is really something.
And then you turn 100 and everyone's celebrating your 100th birthday and you're like, no, I'm 99. I still have a year to go.
Still got a year, baby. It's goofy.
I definitely think there's something going on mental health-wise. I mean, this can't be just like a like no matter how much you want to have a twin this can't be like a rational slip like this seems like there could be something going on mental health wise yeah i don't know it just don't make sense it don't make sense it's a red flag moving Trigger warning for this next one, friends.
It does contain talks of some bodily products, so it would probably be good to not be eating while you listen to this story. It is a little vintage.
It's two years old, coming from r slash beyond the bump. It's titled, I am seriously contemplating divorcing my husband over a prank.
I'm sorry it's a long vent, but I honestly feel so much rage. My husband and I are both 32 years old with a six-week-old baby.
We've been together seven years. Pranking each other has been something we do, especially early in our relationship, as a bit of fun.
He has been known to take them too far at times, and I don't know what to think. Since I've been home with baby, he has continued playing pranks, and my tolerance is very low.
Between sleepless nights and all of the hormones, I find myself absolutely raging at him for these pranks. And he tells me I am being too serious.
I am no fun. And I am a quote, chronic overreactor, whatever that is.
Three pranks in particular have angered me to the point of tears, raging out, and I am now contemplating divorce. Prank number one was making coffee for our guests with my breast milk.
I'm having trouble pumping so I don't have much stored away. I was so angry and embarrassed.
Prank two was pretending to have cut his fingers off in the garden. He dragged it on for ages too and put fake blood around.
Not just a quick little joke. And lastly, prank number three, which happened today and I feel is my final straw.
Last night, I was hinting about breakfast in bed. So this morning, he brings me in a coffee, toast, and some chocolates.
What I assumed was peanut butter on my toast was in fact our baby's poop. And as I have severe sinus issues, I didn't realize it and I took a small bite.
I spat it out straight away. He laughed hysterically and I told him to get out.
He later messaged me and said all of his workmates thought it was hilarious, which is just embarrassing on top of it all. I'm supposed to justify it? I am just so angry, hurt, and sad, but I also don't feel like myself yet after having my baby, so I don't know if I'm overreacting or not.
Would you consider these pranks way too far? they aren't the only ones. Why? What an idiot.
Grow up and read the room. Who feeds their fucking partner Who just had a baby for them

Six weeks ago? Human baby shit on toast. After they say, I just really want a nice breakfast in bed.
I just need that. That feels abusive.
I'm getting divorced. Done.
This is done. Done, done, done.
Wave all the red flags. Wave them.
Wave them around because- You have two children. What the fuck? It's crazy how often people need to deal with two children, one being their partner.
It's really sad. Well, how can you not read the room? I'm sure even after the- I- At some point, is it just being an abusive asshole and you're doing it on purpose? Because how big of an idiot do you need to be for you to set an alarm off when someone is sleep deprived, just carried your child, is trying to recover and just live.
And you're going to do that. I'm sure there's discussions every single time how does that not get through and especially after these three big ones i mean just the so you're already sleep deprived deprived you're already going through all this stuff and then he comes running in like all my fingers are cut off can you imagine

the stress and anxiety of that it's constant that would be instant panic for me if you came in running inside like with that and then was like come look there's blood out in the like no this is constant cortisol which also like isn't good for milk production it's not good for anything It's not good for your baby because baby reads mom.

Like, who is this?

I was. for milk production.
It's not good for anything. It's not good for your baby because baby reads mom.

Like, who is this?

I was going to say,

who is this enjoyable for?

And the answer is him.

Like, he actually sounds

like he is enjoying torturing her.

And that is sickening

because there is no other reason

that you set off alarms

when someone is sleep deprived

except for torture. I'm actually pretty sure they've used that as a form of torture.
That's what I'm saying. It's purposeful.
Waterboarding, sleep deprivation. It's a form of torture.
And I feel like crazy people like that hide it under the guise of, oh, we can always fall back and say, oh, it's a prank. It's a prank.
Yeah, 100%. Stop overreacting.
It's a prank. And then they get everyone else on their side, like their friends and shit and say, can you believe how she reacted to this prank I pulled? I mean, for him to go tell his coworkers, he doesn't see the seriousness of it.
He does think it's a joke and he's making his wife, the mother of his child, the butt of the the joke how dumb do you have to be to think that you're actually still pranking i don't get it i really don't get it i it's disgusting i mean what legally what happens if you feed someone shit? Yeah.

I honestly.

What category does that go into?

Psychopath?

I don't know.

Like, is that any different than putting like a Tide Pod in someone's meal?

It feels like poison.

Like it's giving slug mixed in.

Like it's just, I can't even comprehend.

It's unconsciousable for me because it's just such a despicable behavior. And this is supposed to be someone you love.
Dude. OP's account has been suspended.
I can't look at any other comments, but I am seeing that the top comment is from OP. But I want to see if there's any other comments like before.
Well, okay. I think I know what the top comment says then if it's the top.
What is it? I'm out. So let me read one of the comments that was there before OPs.
These aren't pranks. These are abuse.
And giving your guess breast milk, that's the other thing we kind of forgot about is that he- I didn't forget. I just, there was only so much I could cover in the time.
There, well, yeah, it slipped me. To feed someone bodily fluids unknowingly without their consent is so, so wrong.
Brings up a number of stories that we've read. We willingly tried breast milk.
Have we talked about that on an episode yet? I don't know. We've talked about it at a show.
We talked about it at a live show. It feels very familiar.
Yeah, we did try breast milk from a listener in Arizona. But we were given the option.

Yes.

We could have thrown it in the trash.

Yeah, we could have.

But we didn't.

We didn't.

Tasted like cinnamon toast crunch milk.

Almond milk with cinnamon.

Miss, ma'am, I don't know what you're eating, but your breast milk was pretty good.

Thank you.

Everyone's screaming in their cars right now.

Don't bring me any more breast milk at live shows, though. I was a one and done unless i have an ear infection then i'm willing to drop it in my ear or unless it's or unless it's the same person i'm just so confused why it was so cinnamon-y i'm like i'm wondering if it was a prank and it was actually like cinnamon in almond milk because it just it was delightful.
Y'all guess we'll find out one day.

But. I'm like I'm wondering if it was a prank and it was actually like cinnamon almond milk because it just it was Delightful.
Mm y'all. Um, I guess we'll find out one day But someone goes what on earth made him think that would be okay and shit on toast? What the actual fuck that is not okay ever No, i'd be divorcing him if I were you that is beyond messed up and then him telling his co-workers God if I had a co-worker say they did to their wife, I'd be absolutely disgusted and mortified for their wife.
Right. Well, and the biggest thing is, it's crazy we've gotten this far too.
We've gotten this far where it keeps getting worse. The pranks are getting worse.
Next, he's going to kill you. I don't know.
Just kidding. It feels like that though, because they are having massive fights after all of these pranks are getting worse next he's gonna kill you i don't know just kidding um but it feels like

that though because they are having massive fights after all of these pranks and then he does something worse the very next day like when the cops show up and he's like it's a prank it was just a prank i don't know it's so bad the thing for me is yes the pranks are horrible and i just can't even process.

It's the

unrelenting

not is yes, the pranks are horrible. And I just can't even process.
It's the unrelenting, not backing down. There's no remorse.
There's no, you know what? You're right. I've taken it too far at any stage.
There's never been that once. And that obviously coupled with the pranks, because we can't get those out.
But it's the fact that he can't even see it.

He can't get those out. But it's the fact that he can't even see it.

He can't even listen to you as you communicate and say,

this isn't cool, this isn't right.

And keeps doubling down saying, well, all my friends think it's funny.

Like you're never going to get it ever.

No.

So let's get out now. So after scrolling down a little bit, there's actually another comment from OP.
It's hard to tell which came first because it just says two years old. But I do think this came before the top comment.
So I actually had a pretty okay sleep last night. Baby slept for two four-hour chunks after having a bottle of formula overnight, which is the most I have slept in a long time.
My husband is now giving me the silent treatment and acting annoyed at me, which I've come to realize is what he has done if things don't go his way. He will sulk about until I give in.
I've had a lot of time to read the replies and really look back on a lot of things and realize that he uses pranks and jokes

as a way to be horrible to people and gain attention. His parents think it's funny and

that he is a hilarious goofball when in reality he isn't. The parents? I look back and so many

have been so awful and mean. Even in 2018, he gave a friend a marijuana gummy before a flight

from San Francisco to Australia and his friend had a panic attack in the bathroom on the plane

Thank you. awful and mean.
Even in 2018, he gave a friend a marijuana gummy before a flight from San Francisco to Australia, and his friend had a panic attack in the bathroom on the plane, and he still laughs about it and thinks it is one of the greatest tricks. He has accidentally let my pet budgie out that I had prior to when we met, but now I look back at it, it was most certainly on purpose, as he doesn't like animals and has always said birds were dirty.
What I really noticed looking back is not just the pranks, but he has zero care if someone is worried or upset about a trick. It in fact eggs him on more and more and he goes to great lengths to trick people into a state of upset, then will laugh and laugh and brag about it, which just leads me to think he has no empathy for another human being.
Serial killer. When I got back from the hospital, he had me convinced our new TV in the bedroom had been dropped and broken with a cracked fake screen, and I told him, I'm too tired for jokes, so it should have been enough for it to stop.
The messing around with my sleep was the start of me losing my mind and raging out at him. Ultimately, I've lost trust in him.
Even if he says no pranks again, I will not believe him, as he has said that before, then planned an elaborate, month-long prank. I don't want him pranking my baby.
He constantly tags me and pranks on Facebook involving kids, and he will 100% do it. Some I've said are not cool, but he just says it's character building.
He has no respect in reality. And even the stupid things he does, like leaving his own poop in the toilet for me to find, or waking the baby, or wetting the car seat before I hop in, are just blatant displays of disrespect.
My sister is on her way to pick me up, and I'm going to have a week away and most likely get legal advice regarding separation. More than a week.
Forever. Forever.
Nobody needs this in their life. Slow-mo during the Sandlot movie.
Forever. Forever.
Nobody needs this in their life. Like that's slow-mo during the Sandlot movie.
Forever. Fuck him.
Nobody needs this. There is, so the top comment, that was a comment that was way down.
There is the top comment, though. I thought that was the top comment.
No. That was damn good.
Yeah, there's a top comment, though, from OP. I'm trying very hard to respond to everyone.
As I read this, I'm so goddamn angry. I'm actually realizing this man has basically used pranks to play games with me and humiliate me and his jokes are an excuse to belittle me.
It's flooding so bad here in Australia, so I'm not going anywhere tonight. I'm going to my sister's tomorrow.
I don't want to divorce him. And maybe what some of you have said is right and that this is his way of coping, but it isn't right.
And the way he uses the pranks to make my life miserable needs to stop. Thank you so much for replying.
I don't feel like I'm a dramatic person now. And I've realized I've probably letting more slide than I should.
There's no other comments from OP. That's fine.
I'm over this guy. Despicable.
This is one of the biggest red flags I've ever seen. That is, he is a red flag.
That's the correct way to use that. Right there.
Right there. Imagine that.
Good job. Bam.
That's just fucking crazy. I think it'd be fun to have a little Red flag We should get some To wave around And as you read A couple people brought them to the show In Irvine They actually gave them to me after Where are they? In a box at the studio I need need to use my drum.
Oh my gosh. Yeah.
Our friend that came to multiple shows got Justin a drum to do a drum roll. We've made so many good friends on tour.
Next time. Next time I'm on, you got to help me remember that.
Hey, well, the drum is at the studio, so we'll pull it out. If you ever think you have a bad, just go read that one.
If you're ever mad at me for something else, just go read that story. I don't get mad at you very often.
You know what I mean though? If you ever get upset with me over something small, just read that one. Really puts life into perspective for you.
Everyone listening is like, well, I guess my husband not washing his dish or leaving his band-aid wrappers out on the counter wasn't that big of a deal. Didn't think you were going to say dish.
Dish? What do you think I was going to say? I know other people thought it too. Leaving his fish? D-ck.
Oh. Okay, this next one.
Okay, this next one is six days old, coming from r slash true off my chest, titled showing up to a funeral in basketball shorts. I'm so disappointed in my partner of 12 years.
Yes, we've been dating for 12 years. No kids, not married.
All my choice, and it's all fine-ish. We've been having problems since COVID in 2020, and things just kept getting swept under the rugs.
Now, in present day 2024, my dad just passed away. My partner shows up to the funeral 15 minutes before it ends and comes in wearing basketball shorts, looking like Adam fucking Sandler.
I was so embarrassed and angry. I told him to wear something nice and even offered to go shopping together last week.
I had to buy a dress because everything in my closet is too inappropriate, and it's the last time I will ever see my dad, so I want to be respectful and dress nice. I just wanted him to wear pants and a well-fitted shirt.
It doesn't have to be a full-on suit and tie. He said he ran out of time to get ready, so he tried his best to look for clean clothes.
I swear, he didn't even bother to shower, even though he said he did. He claims my dad was more of a father figure to him than his own dad ever was.
So why couldn't he put more effort into a respectful outfit and show up on time? Literally everyone else stayed from beginning to end. Some family members even showed up before us.
This is it. I'm completely done and over him.
I just want to be left alone now. Problem solved.
Is there something worse than a red flag? Okay. This, all right.
We may have just gotten to telepathic level with each other. I know we've thought we've been there, but we are fully, it's just been too many times lately.
We are there. It's a lot of times.
It's like every day. I was thinking that the whole time you're reading, I was going to let you say something.
And then I was going to say that. Please, please, please, please comment on the YouTube, on the Instagram, wherever you engage.
What is something that is worse than a red flag? Like what the fuck is this? I think he is used toilet paper. I feel like dog diarrhea on wet grass.
I mean, that's, that's natural. You know, that's just like, I'm going to let you guys comment.
I'm, this is really sad. I mean, I can't imagine they've been together for 12 years.
Why did they not show up together? This is a together kind of event. This is OP's dad.
Why are you not with them at all times right now? Well, that's what I'm saying. Like this is, I just can't even imagine that loss, that sadness, no matter if you're that close or not, like it is still a big loss because you're, there's a lot of emotions that can go into that no matter the relationship.
Yeah. And so to not have your partner of 12 years, get ready with you, drive you, can I get you anything? Can we do anything? Like what, what do you need? That is fucking baffling.
And then for the that OP says, he claims my dad was more of a father figure to him than his own dad ever was. How is he not showing up? Even without that context, be there for your quote unquote partner, which this person is not your partner.
There's no partner at all. There's no partnership here.

Whatever definition is, that doesn't exist here. This is clearly an afterthought, doesn't really care about your emotions or your wants or your needs.
You, in such sad, terrible times, even offered to go shopping with them to help make this easier. It's crazy.
When you didn't even need to do that. Something within you was concerned, I feel, that this kind of thing would happen, which is why you thought maybe I'll offer to go shopping so that this whole thing, as hard as it already is,

isn't harder for me because of something that you do.

They were trying to prevent that.

And so-

Like so accommodating during the worst time

and it just gets worse based on another post that's on op's account it just i where where are we finding these people they're out there oh i know they're out there out there i mean think about like i think a lot of us listening can think about like an ex we've dated that you just were put through a lot of shitty stuff with and like they did and you stay with these people because when the times are good they're really good but then you have low points like this and it's hard it's this is too low though it's so hard this is too low well here's where it gets worse okay as we said, this post was six days old. OP has another post on their account from a month ago.
And it's on true off my chest as well. Titled, I can't accept the fact that my father is dying and no one cares.
And it is very, very sad and emotional. Like I, I honestly, I can't read it or I will ball my fucking eyes out and we got to get through the rest of this episode but essentially no one in the family is affected by this it seems like i'm the only one affected by this my brother's moved out and haven't spoken to my father in years they do not care they do not even care about our mom they barely text her comforting phrases or anything my mom is a little sad but she's accepted it she went through the same thing with her dad 25 years ago.
So she said, this is nothing new to her. I'm taking it a lot harder than I expected.
I thought I'd grieve and get over it, but I'm actually really depressed. I can't sleep.
I'm losing weight. My father was in remission for cancer and it came back aggressively three months later.
My father is now at the hospital and they've discontinued all treatments. I'm not married yet and I need him to walk me down the aisle.
I need him to see me get married, have children, and watch his grandchildren grow. He was teaching me how to make traditional food from our culture and we were supposed to have a friendly competition.
I'm still learning how to make it and now I will never get to taste his cooking ever again. So to hear this emotional, I mean, it just goes on.

There's so many things we've yet to see or experience. He's never even seen the Statue

of Liberty and has been talking about going once he's better. He talked about going to Alaska,

to England and visit the palace and different places in Asia. So many unfulfilled wishes.
Duh! To hear this, and for their partner to not show up. Are you fucking kidding me? I mean, even to show up is the bare minimum last 15 minutes in a fucking adam sandler outfit i love adam sandler so much i love him but his attire is not funeral appropriate adam sandler would never fucking do that at a funeral no yeah i mean it it's times like that that really show you who someone is and when they show you take it seriously yeah I think this is like another thing too where OP does say here we've been dating for 12 years no no kids, not married, all my choice, and it's fine-ish.
The other post, though, saying, I'm not married yet. I don't have kids.
My dad needs to see all of that. That makes me feel like OP is actually not necessarily fine with it.
Right. But has been sacrificing what they truly want for this other person to make it work.
Well, and to point out all my choice feels almost like you've been... Convincing yourself that it is? That or manipulated to actually start to believe that that's what you want.
You know what I mean? Yeah. When someone tells you something so many times and you start to think, it's the same as the other stories we read where the lady's like, am I overreacting to the pranks? No, you're not.
But it's crazy that the partner husband was able to convince you that heavily that you were even asking that. That's what's so sad.

And that's what's so sad and that's what's scary gaslit you like just get like it almost feels like because i've been in a relationship like that where like the bar was so low and they would disappear every weekend and then it was like well we talk so much during the week you get like told told this stuff that you like start to convince yourself like, yeah, yeah, he's right.

Like, this is okay.

Like, it's not that bad.

Like, I've had worse ex-boyfriends.

Like, and I love him.

It's so good when we're together. Like, when you just, you get almost brainwashed.

Yeah.

And it's so easy.

It's so easy to fall into that.

But I think OP sharing this, one, like, comment some support. I'll be sure to link this in the description of the YouTube.
But I mean, I think this is a good example of why it is not worth it in life to sacrifice what you really want, to put up with bullshit and savor the day, savor time with family and friends. I mean, life is fucking short and it's too short to be stuck with walking ass red flags.
Worse than red flags. What is worse than a red flag, you guys? I need to know.
Top comment on this one is quoting OP, all I wanted was for him to wear pants next comment down what a bar to not be able to achieve the bar is in literal hell of many words i'm keeping to myself you can pop off i want to hear it i don't want to have to have you select that one category on YouTube because there's too many swears.

Yeah.

He's a fucking piece of shit who deserves to get hit by a horse.

Hit by a horse?

I haven't heard that one in a while.

Just like a little bonk by a horse.

Not dead.

Just hurt.

Like when the horses take their head.

Oh, it hurts so bad. Okay, moving along.
Okay. This next one's interesting.
It is coming from r slash. Am I wrong posted 18 days ago titled, am I wrong for feeling uncomfortable with a daycare mom sending messages to my husband at all hours? My one-year-old son has a playmate in daycare.
The mom and dad of the other child have scheduled playdates with us, and we have gone and hung out with them and their kids. The first contact is my husband, as he and the other mom chit-chat at drop-off.
That is fine with me. This mom and I also chat at times on Messenger, but she also sends private messages to my husband.
What I have noticed is she sends a lot of messages throughout the day about the kids and playdates and other things like TV shows, etc. She will also send messages pretty late at night, sometimes 11.30pm or later.
We just met these parents a few weeks ago, and I told my husband that I think it's disrespectful for her to send him messages that late. He doesn't understand the issue and he assumes we are all quote friends so what's the difference? I told him that this is not an issue of jealousy but rather respect.
I don't and would not message this woman's husband privately because I don't need to, and it looks bad. I trust my husband, and I know he's got good intentions, but I feel like this is how things accidentally get out of hand, and considering I don't know this couple well, I'm not cool with these late private messages or her messaging him one-on-one at all just yet.
I didn't tell him to stop messaging or say anything to her, but I suggested that we should just have a group chat rather than these private messages because there won't be any questions. Am I wrong? No, I think OP, very well-spoken.

Very.

That was written like an author.

Very good.

I was distracted from the story with how well it was written.

That, just impressive.

And your calm, cool, collected, ultra-mature,

everything to do with how you wrote this

and how you're reacting to this happening,

she is doing it

in the best way possible and yeah you know you're not overreacting you clearly have a a very strong foundation of trust and i hope it doesn't lead to bad places but as for right now is communication 101, at least on your side. This is, you know, you get a gold star.
Yeah. I just.
You get gold star. There's no, there is no reason to be messaging at that time.
11.30 messaging someone else's husband? Right. What are you talking about? Well, if you flip the script, of course he would not be okay with it no oh you're texting some guy at 11 30 but do you think she that other wife would be okay with someone else texting her husband like no neither of them like it's it's just weird well and it's classic just dude to be like oh i don't see the issue we're just blah, blah.
And it doesn't matter what hour it is. We're all friends.
Like, shut up. If we're all friends, do the group chat and just be quiet.
There we go. Group chat.
Easy fix. There's no blurred lines.
Well, and it's a smart play by her because it really, the way he reacts to that, you know is telling well yeah it's very telling i think there's a good point to be made too like this isn't about jealousy it's not about control like i i think when op says it's about respect 100 i do think that is very fair and justified like you guys have your relationship this woman has her relationship with her husband even like some of my girlfriends like Alejandra I know she gets up really early for work like I wouldn't even send her a message right now like being so late like it's 11 30 I wouldn't text her right now I'd wait until tomorrow morning or like I know she's on silent and so then so then I might send it, but like, or, but you could, it's just different. It's different if I like all of a sudden, like I'm sitting over here and you're like, what are you doing? I'm like, I'm just texting Alejandra.
You'd be like, Oh, what do you, why? Because what reason, what good reason would there be for that? I don't know. I'm just checking in? Hey, how are you? I was thinking about you.
Well, that's so, I know. And like, even if they are friends talking about TV shows, like it just feels inappropriate past a certain point.
And it's like, you're clearly not talking about the kids. The kids are asleep.
You're not planning your next play date. And that's the foundation of your relationship together is the kids.
Well, and like, I know like everyone has their own opinions on can people of opposite sexes or, you know, whatever be friends. And I do find it kind of concerning or a bit red flag ish that she's reaching out to the husband to develop this close relationship versus the wife.
Like it's one of those people that it's like, oh yeah, I just don't have a lot of girlfriends. Like I've never really gotten along with other women.
Like I'm just like one of the guys. It's just one of those.
And it's like, that is kind of like your spidey senses kind of go off for people like that. And then if it's like, if it's truly a couple thing and you're making friends with another couple and your kids, why not have a group chat? Why are you individually messaging him? It's just weird.
Yeah. I can't think of a good reason to do that.
And I'm really, really hoping in a comment or an update, I can get some sense of how you responded to it. So top comment, I think the group text is a good idea.
I'd make one with everyone involved and send a message like, quote, from now on, I think it would be easier for all of us if we just text in this group chat. Then we can all be kept up to date on all of the info and everything.
Maybe we should also set hours we don't want to interrupt family time or disturb someone trying to sleep from now on. I think that last bit, I don't know if you need to take it there.
The last sentence, the last sentence I'd maybe hold off on next comment down or better yet, have him do. Kind, respectful, appropriate, but also clear it's coming from him in case there's anything inappropriate intent.
He ain't gonna send that. You don't think so? No.
Well, maybe if it's like an ultimatum. So someone goes, why? Is her husband not allowed to have friends of the opposite sex? This post and these comments.
Woo! He is a grown man and knows his boundaries. If he can't knock this back, please understand that he is neutral, if not enjoying the attention.
My husband, nor I, ever had to step in and infringe on either's ability to make friends

because we trusted each other to do the right thing.

Sounds like OP has major trust issues that needs addressing.

Jealousy is a valid emotion,

but trying to control other people because of it is not ethical.

Rain can batter against a window,

but unless that window is open,

it kind of doesn't matter and stops after a while.

What? Where'd you come up with that one? That's what this person said. That's what I mean.
Where'd they come up with that? That's one that I've never heard. Rain battered window.
But I kind of, I understand it. Well, I get their perspective.
I get where they're coming from. But the rain rain thing threw me off at the same time like there's also just certain level of respect and if if it's not understood like i think op should go start texting her husband well and here's the thing fuck it you can have friends you can have so many friends make friends we Text him at 12.
We live in a place that has just unwritten societal norms. There just are.
And yeah, they get challenged from time to time. They get changed.
They evolve over time. It just feels wrong.
It would feel wrong like Alejandra or any of your friends or I guess if it's some random other person that's not that great either. But just to be texting at that hour, it generally, it's for pleasure.
It's not going to be usually work-related. It's for pleasure.
I think that's the best way to put it.

It could be work-related in my world or your world, I guess, too. It could be.

Yeah, a last-minute panic. Because we work 24-7.

We do.

It just feels... It would just feel wrong.

Well, an OP says,

My husband and I both have friends of the opposite sex. That is not my issue.
It's the late night texting. That is an issue for me.
It's inappropriate. I understand that they get along and can be friends, but for many, the late hours texting is a bit much.
I'm by no means a jealous person, but her behavior raises alarm bells for me. I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt and just minding my own business, but I don't know this woman very well, nor do I know her husband well.
It's literally been a few weeks. The whole point was to have playdates for the kids, which to me is a little ridiculous at such a young age.
Plus they're in daycare. They get plenty of socialization.
So if this is a kid's playdate, then why are you texting my husband after 1130? It's just general respect. It would be one thing if I knew her and her husband well, but I don't.
It, to me, is odd behavior for a grown person. We all hang out while the kids play, chat, etc.
When we get home, she immediately texts my husband. Like, for what? We all just hung out and talked and shared stories.
Just makes me wonder if she's got motives. Yeah, I mean, let's frame it like this, right? I have some girl that's a friend.
Hey, babe, going to lunch with blah, blah, blah to catch up. Cool.
Cool. How about this? Right now it's about 1140.

Hey, babe, I'm going to run over and hang out with Bulba for a little bit.

Why?

It's 1140.

I mean, do we not all feel that?

That's weird.

I mean, I know there's people that don't.

They're like, yeah, my trust is rock solid.

And if you're going to cheat on me, you're going to cheat. If something's going to happen, it's going to happen.
I can't stop you. Yeah.
But it just doesn't feel right. There's appropriate times for things.
I completely, I'm catching your drift. I completely agree.
Yeah. Couple more comments from OP.
Someone made something that like her husband is an idiot for not noticing the signs and nop was like that's rude he's actually very smart but i think a lot of men have a hard time seeing things like this he is naive in some aspects he doesn't hide things from me and also he works from home so any new friends he is very gung-ho i'm not trying to rain on his parade, but she really is out of line texting that late and privately. And there's just a couple other comments too that are like, I'm trying to shut it down early.
It's not about being smart or dumb. It's about being human and vulnerable.
You can't let other people get that close because that's how affairs happen. It's usually by accident.
It's natural to get close to someone once you get to know them, but you can't let them get closer than you to your significant other. See, but that's also not totally correct because if you have to go around policing your partner the rest of your life and trying to control them so that they don't end up having an affair.
People are going to cheat if they want to cheat. Right.
And the other thing is too, it really doesn't matter what any of us think at all. If this is her boundary of what she's comfortable with or not comfortable with, then that's her boundary to set.
Whether that applies to everyone else, everyone commenting and listening, we all have our own ways we want to operate and deal with that situation. Here's what she's uncomfortable with.
I think it's a fair boundary to set. And that's it.
Nothing else matters. Yeah.
Well, this last comment I'll read, I do find really interesting because everyone does handle their own relationship, like you said, their own ways. That is to each their own, truly.
And OP is mentioning here, by my husband's own admission, he's the baby person and so op is I would say like describing themselves here as like the primary parent by default because my husband works quite a bit and has to travel more than is required at my job so then to say like he can set up all the playdates he would like but but do the playdates need to be planned at midnight? And why does the planning involve asking what you watch on Netflix, etc.? That to me sounds like this other person, this other woman who's texting OP's husband is not being very emotionally fulfilled by her partnership and is trying to latch on to another person and like,

hey, what are you watching? What are you chatting about? Or maybe she doesn't have a lot of friends, but you should be seeking out them as a couple and not just the husband. That's where it's like- That's the respect thing.
But it's just like, what are your intentions? What are your intentions? Why not seek out both of them? Why are you just pursuing the husband do you see something you like what what's happening why where's the why what are you doing right now what are you watching what are you wearing oh what are you not wearing oh really can take a turn quick Really can take a turn quick. Really can take a turn quick.
Want to come over? Yeah. Do you feel like this other woman is a red flag? A little bit of a red flag? Yeah, but really it's how your husband responds to this whole thing.
And it's your boundary to set. And it's between you guys.
She's an external external deal I mean if if that's really what it takes to lure him away and that's it then wasn't meant to be so I wouldn't I think I think that's why I respected her approach so much as I'm not gonna come rip your phone out of your hands and demand to know everything you're texting. And I just think it's disrespectful.

Completely.

And you know, she seems very confident,

very independent to the point where she,

I think could be that person that understands the fact that if he does anything and wasn't because of me and what am I going to do lock him in a cell so it yeah no okay moving along okay this next one is 10 hours old coming from AITAH it is for Being Upset About My Wife Forcing Me to Compete with the Dogs for Food? I meal prep on Sundays so that I have food for a hot lunch during the week. I'll make a thing of turkey bacon, hard-boiled eggs, sauces of various types such as pesto, and I will grill chicken breasts.
I'll then use these prepped ingredients to make wraps with various salads and veggies throughout the week, or we'll eat alongside a salad. My wife and I have two dogs.
They get a combination of prepackaged foods and stuff we cook at home. We're careful with the foods we prep for them and have gotten into the habit of avoiding things that the dogs can't eat.
When I prep my lunches, I make sure to

communicate this to my wife. However, I always wind up in a situation where I have nothing to eat for my Thursday lunches.
Because I don't have time for breakfast, this means that I go hungry from dinner on Wednesday until Thursday night, and then I have to spend Thursday evenings prepping lunch on Friday again. I've tried making more.
No matter how much I make, I always will wind up in this situation. I run out of food.
I've asked my wife to not give the dogs the food I make for my lunches. She has agreed, but then will do it for various reasons.
Quote, I needed something to give them quickly.

Quote, I didn't have time to make them something else.

Quote, it was just this one time.

This week, I made kielbasa on Sunday with braised cabbage.

I made enough for five lunches.

I ate it for lunch yesterday.

Two hours ago, I went into the fridge to eat between meetings,

and there was only a single wedge of cabbage left.

Thank you. I ate it for lunch yesterday.
Two hours ago, I went into the fridge to eat between meetings and there was only a single wedge of cabbage left. Everything else was gone.
So I went to my wife asking about it. It all went to the dogs.
All of it. My entire week's worth of lunches.
And because it's Tuesday, I work later and I won't have the opportunity to eat until sometime after 8 p.m. or 26.5 hours after finishing my last meal.
My wife says she doesn't see the big deal and that I'm being an asshole for not wanting to share my lunches with the dogs. I think she's being unreasonable.
Am I the asshole? No. I want to see a picture of these dogs.
I'm like really curious. These dogs be eating that much? Dude, come on.
It's pretty wild. And also, could we like door dash something instead of starving all day? I know.
I'm wondering if we can afford to cook chef crafted meals for our dogs every day, maybe we could door dash. I get it.
I get that's not the point. The point is that you cooked food for a purpose and don't have it when you want it.
That's the point. I get that.
But when you end up in a situation of desperation, order something. Come on, order something.
Or honestly, if the wife is at home, she needs to make it right and make him something. I also don't understand how you took four meals, four human portioned meals and just gave them to the dogs.
I want to see what the dogs are. How many dogs do they have? When I hear dogs, I just think two.
Same. But like this is giving a full pack.
This is giving like 10 dogs. And if it's two, they're.
Also, when you know like, oh, I had to give them something really quick. I didn't have anything.
Your dogs are going to be just fine with kibble.

Your husband is not. Your husband can't eat kibble.
So maybe give the dogs an extra scoop

of kibble until you're more adequately prepared. Oh, they can't eat that.
That's weird.

I think it's a red flag that she doesn't really respect him. And after multiple conversations, she continues to still give these dogs the food

that he is prepping. And meal prepping is not an easy task.
Meal prepping takes a lot of time,

consideration, work. When we would meal prep, we used to meal prep quite a bit.

It would take like four hours on a

sunday it took it is so much work a task maybe we just weren't doing it right i know some people do it in a crock pot and that's a hack well you get in the zone i mean we were changing up the meals we were really just trying to figure out if we could make that work it was a lot and so i would be extremely frustrated and really annoyed by my partner's lack of respect for me.

You'd get annoyed if you had gotten food and it was hanging in the kitchen. Don't touch my food.
And then at night, and then I was like, ha, I threw it out for the horses. You'd be like- Go get me another one.
You know what I'm going to start doing? Give me another one. I'm going to start making meals that have a bunch of grapes i'm gonna pour chocolate all over my meals i'm gonna make it so that shit can't be eaten by the dogs there you go that's a good that's a good strategy you know have a little chicken a little drizzle of chocolate over the whole thing kind of gross kind of gross those don't go together you might have lost people there well you see what i'm trying to do let's look up all the things that dogs can't eat and let's fully meal prep that and have it integrated i know but i don't know what you do this is just i think i'd get maddening i think i'd get another if if op can afford it i would literally get a mini fridge or a different fridge and get one that has a lock on it.
But it's just, to have to go there in your relationship sucks. You shouldn't have to, but I go crazy when people eat my leftovers.
I would have to do that. I would have to.
I mean, so we're just going to live like that forever? I mean, do you think it's divorce worthy to get divorced over the food? I don't know, but honestly, the title's not far off. You are kind of competing with the dogs for food.
You're an equal. The dogs are actually getting fed more.
Yeah, you're less than you. And you're the one that had to cook for the dogs dog so you're kind of the dog's servant and so butler i don't know if i'm getting a i don't know if i'm getting the fridge with a lock what i do know is i'm not living like that the rest of my life no you can't we either set the record straight and it changes or i'm out i'm gonna go to go to my own house.
I'll get my own, my own bachelor pad. Yeah.
Big ass fridge. I'm going to cook all sorts of food.
And guess what? It's all going to be there. I ain't, I'm, I'm having lunch on every Thursday, every Thursday.
Oh man. So OP does respond to a comment.
Okay. Why don't you feed your dogs, dot, dot, dot...
Dog food. I don't think it's okay to feed dogs bacon and eggs and kielbasa.
That's super unhealthy. Both you and your wife are assholes for mistreating your dogs.
OP responds, We do feed them dog food, but we supplement it with homemade foods on a diet plan discussed with our vets. I'm not sure where you got the idea that feeding them eggs, bacon, turkey, kielbasa isn't okay.
Turkey, bacon, and hard-boiled eggs are perfectly fine for dogs, as is grilled chicken. Kielbasa is fine infrequently.
We tend to make a lot of what we give our dogs because of quality control concerns with prepackaged dog foods.

Jerky bought in a bag at a pet store has a lot in it that we usually don't necessarily

want the dogs to eat.

However, I can produce beef and chicken jerky with no added ingredients at a much lower

price point than what we can buy.

Instead of buying mystery sausage and kielbasa at a grocery store, I make my own and control

what goes in it to ensure things that are not dog safe don't get put in there, such as garlic and onion. Those don't get included.
We started doing this years ago with a dog we had who had severe allergies, respiratory issues, skin allergies. By eliminating prepackaged food from his diet, most of his allergy issues disappeared.
That's fine, but you clearly don't have the time. We're burning others.
No, we're burning ourselves to keep others warm. Well, I just think you really need to sit down and like, I mean, this seems a little aggressive for me personally.
Like, I don't think grilled chicken is cheap. And it's like, it's just, this is a lot.
It's not the cost. I love dogs.
I love my dogs. I'm not seeing a cost issue.
I get that we're pointing out the fact that it's more efficient. It's more cost efficient.
The problem is you're severely lacking time. If you can't find a way, if that meal is not in your fridge,

to eat from the moment, from the night before until the night after,

we have other problems to solve here first.

But the problem is the wife.

The problem is the wife disrespecting him.

He's got his shit down.

That's what I'm saying though.

It's her level of disrespect or maybe both of their unpreparedness

Let's go. He's got his shit down.
That's what I'm saying though. It's her level of disrespect or maybe both of their unpreparedness.
Why don't they cook all the meals for the dogs and cook their meals and then they all have everything? There's something that could be done for sure. Because why is their food being taken, well his, to feed the dogs when they eat their own food and supplement with people food.
Why don't we make all the people food that we want to give to the dogs and then have our portions? And it's all separate out. Dog pile.
Do you think the dogs are actually eating this food? Do you think the wife is just eating it and lying and saying she gave all of it to the dogs? Like, how did she give four packages to the dogs? Don't you think the dogs would get sick? She's got her own meals. She's got to get through her own meals.
And then that? I don't know if she has meals. It sounds like he's just meal prepping for himself.
So I thought we were meal prepping together. I feel like it's giving he's just meal prepping for his work lunches.
I'm wondering if she's actually eating some of this food. Time for a hidden camera.
I'd be so curious because she's not saying she's eating any of it because I feel like it would be less of an issue where it was like, oh, sorry, honey, I had one and then I gave one to the dogs, but I gave one of the dogs, but like I gave all four to the dogs. Like this is really interesting.
Stool sample. Someone does say, bro, there's no way your dogs are eating like this without the worst gas and diarrhea.
Your wife is eating the food full stop. And I'm so perplexed now.
Is she eating the food? I don't know. Should we do a vote? Do we think the wife is eating the food, guys? We need a camera planted.
A little vote. But should you have to plant a camera? Of course not.
It's a joke, but I just want to know so bad. I mean, a camera in the kitchen wouldn't be the worst place.
It's not the bathroom. Where's she going to eat it? They seem to both be home all the time.
There's no other comments from OP providing further insight. I'd be popping in randomly.
Very curious. If I'm working out there and it's my lunchtime, but I'm going to go in an hour earlier.
I pop in, look around the corner and you're just like. Something's up.
I was just opening it for the dogs something is up that was my lunch for thursday i can't imagine like 26.5 hours of not eating i've done it door dash but well i well sorry i'm promoting no free promo but i mean there other options. Like if you live in a walkable neighborhood, like take your lunch break, walk out, go grab something.
If you don't live in a walkable neighborhood, pop in your car, run to a store quick. I mean, unless you're in like rural countryside where it's 40 minutes to get to a nearby store, like then it's impossible, but.
You shouldn't have to. You shouldn't have to starve.
But I'm saying you shouldn't have to go get the food when you've already repaired, but just still eat. Eat my dude.
Eat my dude. Okay, moving along.
This next one is coming from our very own Two Hot Takes subreddit. Oh my goodness gracious.
Oh, that's a new sound for you. Do it one more time.
Shorten to the point. I did it earlier in the show too.
I didn't notice. Wow.
So it is titled, I fell asleep in my roommate's bed because I was sick and my girlfriend broke up with me. My girlfriend, Celine, 20 female, and I, 21 male, have been dating for about seven months now, but I had feelings for her like three years beforehand.
I have also been sharing a flat with two other girls and one guy. A flat.
One of the girls is Kaya and we're pretty good friends. As it just so happens, Celine's ex cheated on her with Kaya.
Kaya hadn't known they were together at the time. So when I first brought Celine over to my place early into our relationship, she told me about what had happened.
I realized then that things would be messy and I asked Celine if this was a deal breaker for her, but she said she wasn't sure as she was sure that Kaya didn't realize she was facilitating cheating. The next day Selene said she thought it over and she had no resentment towards Kaya but was insecure about herself and felt uneasy that we lived in the same house.
We both agreed to continue with the relationship and set our boundaries. One of them was that Kaya and I won't sleep over in each other's rooms anymore.
We used to have movie nights on Fridays. Kaya's room was the only room with the TV in my flat, and I'd sometimes fall asleep in her room during movie nights.
Everything was platonic, and I told Celine about this. Let's move to the present time, where our relationship is like a fairy tale.
Being with Celine is pretty awesome, but my exams are coming up soon and because I'm horribly underprepared, I needed to lock in. So I told Celine I would have to be a bit selfish and wouldn't be able to spend time with her or have much communication until they're done.
For the past three weeks, my entire life has been wake up, spend the entire day slash night at the library, then come home to sleep for like five to six hours, then go study again. It's a horrible routine and I feel like a zombie, but I have too much content to catch up on and not enough time.
I must also admit that I've not been in contact with Celine all that often. We only talked twice on FaceTime and texted very little.
She tried initiating, but I had my phone shut off while studying and only replied when I left the library. On our second call, she said that she felt neglected and it was really starting to get to her and she wanted to spend some time together.
I apologized, told her I missed her too, and that she could come over to spend the night. But she came about an hour later than she was supposed to, and I had already fallen asleep by then.
She still stayed the night, but the next morning I felt that she was upset that I had fallen asleep. Then I got really sick three days ago.
I threw up at the library and asked Kaya to come pick me up. My other roommates were out of town, and Celine would have taken too long to get there.
When I got into bed, I threw up all over my sheets. At this point, my memory of what happened is foggy.
I was very drowsy and not thinking straight. Rather than cleaning up and setting new sheets up, I texted Celine that I was very sick and had vomited all over my bed and asked if I could sleep over at her place.
I got no reply, so I went downstairs and slept on the couch. When I woke up the next morning, I was asleep on Kaya's bed shirtless.
I had no clue how I got there, but Celine came to check on me and walked in on me like this. This is when I woke up and Celine was very upset.
She yelled, quote, how could you? And before I had a chance to say anything, she left. Kaya told me that she saw me asleep on the couch and she offered to let me sleep on her bed instead.
I have no recollection of this. I probably took my shirt off because I felt hot at some point during the night.
She also said that she slept on the couch and we didn't share the bed. I've been trying to reach out to Celine, but she blocked my number, WhatsApp, Insta, everything.
We have two mutual friends, but they both haven't replied to any of my texts. My fever died down yesterday night, so I went to Celine's to clarify the situation, but her roommate said she wasn't going to talk and made me leave.
The whole situation just feels horrible. I love the relationship that I have slash had with Celine, and the fact that it's probably over makes me feel so distraught.
I also reflected over how I've been recently and realized that a lot of blame does go on me. My exams aren't a reason to just completely shut myself out of a relationship, and I need to work on being able to juggle life and studies at the same time.
Other than her finding me asleep on Kaya's bed, she probably had a lot of animosity and upset amigli- This is a really big fucking word, you guys. Amalgamating.
Someone's been studying. Studying's paying off.
Had a lot of animosity and upset amalgamating over the last three weeks of me not being in contact. It's painful knowing I made a very unnecessary decision.
And had I put in more effort, it wouldn't have cost me a great person out of my life. What do I do? Wow.
What a roller coaster that was. Do we feel that this is a very accurate portrayal of events? All I know is that in times when I've had fevers

and sicknesses like that,

you really go into zombie mode.

Yeah.

And if you weren't already in zombie mode,

fevers, those are some of the worst nights I've ever had.

Just horrible dream, horrible dream. Just.
You can't discern reality from dreams. And it's just awful.
Fevers are so terrible. And if it's written truthfully, then nothing feels weird to me, except for this is not how you study people.
This is how you get sick and fail all your tests and don't remember anything. Because sleep is the most important part to studying.
As a little side note, when you sleep, you actually convert the knowledge, cement the information into your mind. And so I would always study less, sleep more, and I would always be the first one walking out of my exams.
You're gifted though. Whenever I would know, I was called the curve crusher.
Flexing on us. The curve crusher.
I got to, you know, take some wins. Okay.
I'll give you one. Regardless, don't do that to yourselves.
It's ridiculous. Three weeks of studying all day and then sleeping five hours.
What are you? No. That's torture.
That's just, it's just, you're shooting yourself in the foot. You might as well not even study.
Anyway. When you're like crash loading so much information that you're gonna end up like almost like panicking your head when you get there and you're like so overwhelmed with all the information you just crash course learned yeah take it a little slower and then use your critical reasoning to pick the best answers yeah it reminds me take it till you it.
It reminds me of John when Moira's out filming The Crowening and he doesn't know what to do. So he's just like working 24 seven.
Oh my gosh, yeah. Until you crash.
But I don't know. The whole time I never, I didn't really feel anything vishy unless I'm just being tricked, but.
Well, that's what I was wondering. Does anyone else get red flags with this? Because the only thing that kind of concerns me is like, yeah, you're studying nonstop.
You're busy. You're crazy, but you do have to sleep at some point.
You do have to eat meals. And so so to only text your girlfriend or facetime or whatever the heck they did a couple times in three weeks i would need to take a break i would literally though i would think that this person is like trying to slow ghost me and like trying to break up with me fair like that doesn't feel.
That's not fair to your partner.

So I'm like, what else?

Like, were you genuinely just that panicked and studying that hard?

Because that's a lot. I think so.

Because I'm not really worried about the Maya thing.

That's what I was saying.

Kaya?

Yeah, Kaya.

I'm not worried about the Kaya thing.

I'm more worried about exactly what you're what you're saying is

why are we dropping everything like are you even eating are you what it's just not healthy no it doesn't make any sense i gotta lock in like i got all this still have a girlfriend yes a supportive of just go and get a meal take a break have her sleep over go sleep at her place like you can still do those things like yeah but like not every i don't know everyone's brains work differently so you know maybe this is what works for them well clearly didn't because that's why you got sick. Yeah.
That's true.

Actually, maybe it was food poisoning, but I don't know, fever. I think you got sick because you wore yourself down so much that anything that came walking along was going to mess you up with a little cold or whatever it is.
I mean, it's probably like a flu. Oh, it's so brutal.
I just know know that again, with fevers, it's kind of the wild west. I know.
Well, and I, I do think like I'm thinking about it and it's like, I want to give OP the benefit of the doubt. Like, I don't think anything happened with Kaya.
I think Kaya was just being a good friend. Like if I saw my friend sick, feverish, sleeping on the couch.
I would not have them go in my room. I'll tell you that.
I would be like, you can go have my bed. No, not our bed.
Or I would say, hey, let me make your sheets up for you real quick. But honestly, I'd probably rather give someone my bed than touch pukey sheets.
But at the same time, you still run the risk of them puking in your sheets, which maybe that's worse. They're clearly sick, like super sick with something.
But Taya does in that sense seem like a really good friend. I think this is just honestly, this is just kind of on OP for like, you're young, you're going through the trials of relationships and trying to juggle and balance and learn how to communicate.
And this is just one where unfortunately, this was a clear boundary for your girlfriend. She walked in, saw what she thinks she saw.
Perfect storm. And that is totally fair.
How can you not blame someone? Walks like a duck, quacks like a duck. It's probably a duck.
She was already so burned by all this in the past. Exactly.
So she's like, it's not worth it. Seven months, it's been great, but the past three weeks have really sucked.
I've been ignored. He's been ghosting me.
Maybe something's up. Oh, I walk in and check on him.
Kaya's bed shirtless. Maybe it's meant to be.
That's what's up. Maybe it's meant to be.
Honestly, maybe. Maybe it just was the sign she needed to say, even if nothing happened here, just not right for me.
It's cool. It's cool.
Yeah. Top comment.
What do you think it's going to be? I don't know. To be honest, you should be used to not having a girlfriend by now after three weeks of ignoring her.
Yeah. Good job, Dunker Junker, for the top comment.
Someone goes, this comment. That's like the rain on the window thing.
I just, I don't know. This comment deserves a standing ovation.
That person really liked it. Is that a term from something? A standing ovation? No, the Dunker Junker thing? No, that's just their username.
Oh, I thought that was... Okay.

No, that's the top comment on the two-out-takes post.

Getting tired, yeah.

The... Oh, we have an update.

Oh, good.

Ooh.

So the update is coming...

28 minus 11 is what?

17?

Yes.

17 days later.

You can't do math. No more saying you can't.
Sometimes it pops up. It depends on the number and if it's an easy, because I just did seven plus one, you know? I see.
I see. I'll start by saying now that this post will be very long, but we'll add little to nothing new.
Oh. Thanks.
The most expected outcome is what happened. The reason I'm posting this is because I saw Celine for the final time a couple of days ago.
And I also want to clear the air on some matters. Matters.
For the sake of tracking time, let's call day one the day Celine broke up with me. Day four was when my initial post was published.
I sat my final exam at day seven and didn't actually check up on the post until day 8. I was very, very shocked reading the comments.
To be blatantly honest, I wasn't expecting like a thousand people calling me a huge bellend. I knew I made a mistake, but in my head, I thought I was a good person.
You know how you kind of just perceive yourself to always try and do things with good intentions so you think you can't ever be a bad person? I don't know if that makes sense. But reading the post opened up my perspective and made me realize that the relationship was not salvageable and also gave me depth on the hurt I caused Celine.
I shattered her trust completely and was just not a good boyfriend for the entire month leading up to the breakup. So I just didn't contact her.
As I'll mention later on, I was not in a good headspace and I distanced myself because I was an even bigger ass than I previously let on. On day 12, she messaged me to ask for her iPad back.
She had let me borrow it for my notes. We last met on day 15 when she came to collect it.
Among other things, we were both silent the whole time she was there, which must have only been like five minutes or so. She returned some of my stuff I'd left in her apartment, and when she was about to leave, I told her I was sorry.
She said okay. I said I never meant to hurt her.
She again just said okay. I figured nothing I could say was the right thing at this point, and so we just said goodbye.
So like I said, the very expected outcome occurred. I can't lie and say I'm instantaneously a better person.
Now, I'm not. I want to be better, but I can't become a better person in a couple of weeks.
And I will really need to work on my character in general. As for Celine, I can only just pray and wish the best for her.
Very nice. Very nice.
There's a lot of questions OP got asked, and so they're just answering it down below. Yeah.
Did Kaya know about Celine's boundaries? Yes. I told her the day Celine and I discussed our boundaries.
She seemed to be very understanding, and we both kept distance since. Which I will say, Kaya didn't sleep in the bed.
There was no sleepovers together. It's just the treatment leading up to all that.
And that was icing on the case. Yes.
How did you lose consciousness from vomiting? It was from dehydration. On day one, I went to the hospital at noon because my condition wasn't getting any better.
I had a temp of 104 and blood test show. I was severely dehydrated.
So I was put on a drip. None of this was mentioned because I never expected this to be a matter of criticism and thought very ill sufficed in my previous post.
What was the need to be studying so hard for? This is the question which needs a lot of context to understand. I'm Indian and my father is very similar to those strict Indian dads that you'll often see portrayed in movies.
He wanted slash tried forcing me to join the army. I wanted to choose my own path, which was in computer science, and we had a huge rift occur because of it.
I moved from India to the UK for my studies, and one of the only reasons he agreed to pay for my tuition was because A, the university I'd gotten into was prestigious, and B, he had a way to monitor my grades and could use this as leverage. So OP really had to strive.
C's get degrees, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. I didn't get C's, but.
Yeah. Still a fact.
You know, there's some other stuff, but it's very just repetitive. Like, why did Kaya invite you to her bed?

I asked her and she said the following.

I was on my way out to an overnight study session, which meant no one would be home.

So I thought you might as well sleep on my bed then.

I didn't think it would be such a big deal considering how bad of a condition you were in.

I thought Celine would understand.

I didn't get in the bed when I got home. I slept on the couch.
Which I will say, like, bad boyfriend three weeks before. Crappy communication.
But I do think it's, like, kind of interesting to not hear someone out. Like, this person was extremely sick, and you're not going to hear them out.
And I also wish OP when they met up

and did the iPad exchange or whatever,

I wish OP would have been like,

just so you know, nothing happened.

I was just super sick.

All they would have said is, okay.

But honestly, I talked about this recently.

I'm like, sometimes it just feels good to clear your name.

But I think OP now is just kind

of realized like no matter it's impossible yeah and what's it worth yeah all i can say is if ever anything is ever perceived like that between us i would just hope we could give each other that moment to at least talk.

I would hope there's the, you know, respect's a weird word, but just the ability to talk and never have that like brick wall done forever, never speaking. Like I hope there's some sense of,

because if it's innocent as that.

Yeah.

And it just looks so bad,

you know, I hope there's the level of trust

to at least have that.

Absolutely.

Because that's actually a nightmare.

If you're caught up,

like let's say the three weeks leading up didn't happen and it was just focused on that one situation. That would suck to lose someone over that when you literally did nothing wrong, but they won't listen to you.
I know, I think, yeah, that just hurts. Yeah.
But we do have the three weeks, which was super shitty. And getting ghosted and ignored by your partner, like you worry.
It's just, it's a really, really shitty feeling. Yeah.
Yeah. Well, that is all I got for us.
And this really fun, fun theme. I cannot wait to hear what people think is worse than a red flag.
Yeah. I'm so scared.
I feel like everyone's going to have such like witty little like quirps or whatever you call those things. Some people are quick with those.
Some people's brains work so fast. And mine just like sometimes it feels like my brain is like moving through mud.
Like, I don't know. You watch like a stand up work on the fly and you're like damn that person is quick-brained oh i got a floater but then like me i'm like i just like something fuzzy from the alpaca blanket just went zoom but um yeah my brain does not work that fast unfortunately yeah but i'm really really excited to hear what you guys think i have so so many stories left for this theme.
I'm going to bring the rest of them over to Patreon. We had some amazing content for May, basically a bonus episode with Lauren, a bonus episode with Carrie, and some bonus stories with FKS.
There's a really, really crazy free story. So be sure if you're not on our Patreon yet, come over, check it out.
We have a lot of content that is completely free. Doesn't cost a thing.
We just want you guys to be a part of the community. It's another place to really grow and share and connect.
So head on over and check out the free content. For re.
But other than that, thank you for being here another episode. I hope you enjoyed my more zen, calming mood today.
I feel like I'm a little bit more of myself this week. We've got ponies getting delivered Thursday, the day this episode comes out.
So I'm just really excited, stressed, you know, still a lot going on in life, but very, very excited to have some ponies because they're so good for my mental health. It's like my little, my little me thing.
And Justin's going to start riding. Not start.
Well, you have, you know how to ride. But you're going to get real into it.
He's got his own saddle now. It's going to be so good.
Any send-off notes? I'm walking into the other room, and as soon as my head hits the pillow, I am just out. I'd be that person

right now that falls asleep before the plane takes off. Yeah, that's me every time.
There's

something about a plane Pavlov'd me. Surprised I made it this far.
On that note, guys, thank you