167: Is it Really a Big Deal..?

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Is everyone ready down there? Good job. Really? You look like a kid that got in trouble.
What were you doing? It looked like you were just like looking at the time. Yeah, why are you acting so odd? Are you going to cry? No.
He looks goofy, right? Yeah, it looks like he just got caught like opening up a present early. Or like someone looking at porn and then you call him out and you're like,

is that what you're doing on your watch?

That is, yeah.

What the heck?

Two different levels of...

Oh, yeah, you were like a kid at a birthday party.

I'm like, mm, porn.

Yeah, yeah, or porn.

It was porn.

Was it really?

Yeah.

I didn't know you could even get that on your watch.

Watch porn.

On X.

I forget that you can't.

Well, you can say Twitter, but...

Thank you. was it really yeah i don't know you can get that on your watch watch porn on on uh x i forget that you can't well you can say twitter but on x it's so weird because anytime i've gone on there just for something random i don't really ever look when i do i swear the response to big tweets will be at least some type of porn and i'm like how they're trying to get their money you can post nudes on twitter yeah twitter was like the og like only fans promoter yeah yeah big wow big nothing needs to be censored on there yeah didn't you see that one girl she raised like a couple million dollars for the Australia wildfires from posting nudes on Twitter.
Wow. No, I didn't know that.
I saw those. This sounds funny, but when I was in college and I liked Twitter, I didn't have an iPhone for a while and I had a legit, would have to like text a number to tweet something and so i like couldn't like look at that's an option hey at least that's an option so you just really wanted to get your thoughts out there you didn't care about others so people let me send that tweet yes cute we can teach our grandparents how to tweet yeah but i i mean i would i would look at it when i was home like that's when twitter was fun for me um but i i somehow the the nudes missed me and so now whenever i randomly go back on there i i get so shocked just so shocked so shocked the nudes are a vibe though a vibe you know you found some good ones on your watch just now maybe it's like oh We didn't expect that mind it oh man well shall we get into this theme today yes i wish you were going to do one of those segues where it's like perfectly in and this is about nudes yeah i don't have any about nudes but you know we do have we have some that play into this like some people don't let their partner watch porn and they think it's a big deal.
And there's some stuff we're facing today in these stories where we're going to question, is it actually a big deal? Okay. I like this segue.
Partners still watching porn. If you try and forbid them, they're definitely still doing it.
You think so? Yeah so yeah you just gotta be over here like just watching on the watch on the apple watch okay i don't know i think some

people are very adamant about not and actually don't but i could be wrong i would agree with you

what world do you guys live in? Ours. Not reality.

Our reality, not actual reality.

Okay, let first one is coming from our very own 2HotTakes subreddit.

It is titled,

Entitled sister is upset I strategically seated her at my wedding to avoid capturing her breastfeeding moments on camera.

I, 29 female, just got married to my husband a week ago.

My sister, 31 female, has a 5 month old baby and both were at the wedding.

I don't really like my sister's personality and her partner broke up with her a few months ago because she allegedly was an exhibitionist and our side of the family are starting to see why he left her. My sister would usually breastfeed openly in public and although I don't have a problem with breastfeeding your child, I do think I'm not really tolerant of how she does it.
Most women in my community will breastfeed in public too, but will ensure they move to a more private spot, not the bathroom, or bring nursing covers. And I don't think it's sexist at all because I see that as a courteous thing.
Being as kind as I can about my sister, I think she likes to make a statement and challenge the status quo ever since she was a child. She's the type to flaunt about how she doesn't give a fuck what others think about her and how she acts in public.
So yeah, she's got some issues of her own because I cannot imagine someone being this angry at the world for no good reason.

Moving on to my wedding, I had a videographer panning the camera in the center of the aisle as I walked down, which means guests would be in plain view. My sister doesn't carry bottles with her and she would start nursing whenever the baby needs to eat.
I didn't want this captured on camera and wanted to avoid any possibility of that happening because aesthetics.

So I situated her in one of the middle rows to ensure she's concealed either way. The rest of the family, including my cousins, were seated in the front row.
I also requested the cameraman to avoid taking pictures of guests in case she's openly breastfeeding during the reception as well. My bridesmaids on the wedding day managed to handle my sister, as I later got to know she threw a stink about feeling neglected and hardly any pictures captured with her and her baby.
Apparently, she had been nursing, maybe also to calm the baby down. Therefore, the camera guy hired requested her to step out of the frame several times.
Not going to lie, this made me want to tip him a little extra. Haha.
This has been a pattern of hers at several family events. She also has a two-year-old daughter who was present too.
That's how we were able to discern this pattern from the past, and even some work events that she used to attend with her partner. All of us have made an effort in the past to communicate with her, but she gets argumentative, and I didn't want to have to deal with that and her drama.
I don't care about being called prude. I don't want someone's photo slash video with their chest out on my wedding, regardless of context.
Am I the asshole? No, I think think that's fair it is a little awkward though the fact that you put her in the middle and everybody else was up front but i i understand though i don't blame you but like it is kind of awkward and not surprising that the sister has something to say about it i don't think it it's unfair, though, given the fact that like how many people now have child

free weddings where your toddler and baby wouldn't even be in attendance.

So no, that's what I'm saying.

Like, I totally understand why she did it.

Absolutely.

Given the context, I absolutely support that.

But I'm just saying it's not shocking that the sister has something to say because she's going feel kind of ostracized is is that appropriate word to use in this okay um sometimes i feel like big words now i'm like they have other contexts and like people are gonna be like they do exhibitionist is a new one for me for those that haven't heard the term exhibitionist urban dictionary is giving the act of exposing personal parts such as the genitals buttocks and or breasts in a public setting that typically wouldn't allow such behavior i i've only heard like voyeurism i think that's the one that you hear a lot is like people that get off on exposing themselves to people flashing flashers yeah so yeah that could be a new one for a lot of you guys out there because it was for for me but no i think this is totally fair i think i think the sister is acting entitled it's like you can't have your cake and eat it too you can't you know if someone wants a certain aesthetic for their wedding that's like asking a bridesmaid to wear pink maybe like hey please don't breastfeed in the front row and like well it sounds like op didn't even say no breastfeeding during the ceremony she knew that she was going to breastfeed she put her in the middle to avoid saying hey don't breastfeed at my at my wedding right and just like that might be an unfair ask to some people like Like, I can't control when my baby's hungry. Of course.
But also at the same time, your baby's hungry, maybe step out of the ceremony. Right.
But also to some people, breastfeeding is not a big deal. Some people would be like, hey, breastfeed.
It doesn't matter. Come up on stage.
Well, like I've seen, didn't we have a Reddit story where one of the bridesmaids was the sister and she did say, hey, if my baby starts crying, I need to step down from being a bridesmaid and go breastfeed. Is that a thing? That.
When your kids are that young? Can't you. They start crying.
Can't you have a bottle? Some people don't like pumping. Some people like exclusively breastfeeding.
I don't know what it's like to have a five month old. I don't know what the needs and what the procedure, like this is all going to be a big learning experience for me.
Is there an, I don't know, a ceremony? Let's say it's a half an hour. They're pretty quick these days.
In that half an hour, couldn't you just, is it possible that you could not, you could guarantee that you will not be breastfeeding for 30 minutes? Is that possible? Or is it like baby cries you have to do at that moment? You know what I mean? From my understanding, granted, there are some babies. I mean, babies have a mind of their own, right? Like if that baby is hungry, they're going to scream their fucking head off.
But like you could attempt to breastfeed before, right before the ceremony to then be like, okay, we should, we should fingers crossed be good for 30 minutes. Like some moms might do that.
Sure. Well, and if that was no guarantees, if there was a conversation between the bride and the sister, then I feel like if that was the thing that was set nope when my baby cries I'm breastfeeding no matter what okay cool well then I'm gonna put you in the middle and I think that's justified because maybe so she wasn't so blindsided by the middle you can't have both that's what I'm saying yeah that's what I was trying to say so when I was saying like she might feel ostracized and that's not shocking.
Also, I know that word means I just didn't. I don't want to use it like find out there's a new meaning to it with an urban dictionary.
It's swang or something. Words do evolve over time.
Exactly. They do.
But no, I think that it's not shocking that I mean, I'm putting myself in that situation. If I didn't know that my sister had these feelings and then I'm like dead set in the middle of the entire wedding, whereas my entire family, like my mom, my brother, my sisters, they're all the front row.
I might be confused by that and then question that. So even though I totally understand what OP wants from her wedding and I respect that, especially given the context that it sounds like her sister may have, you know, do these things to kind of get attention and push the limits and like maybe just want her boob to be out in the camera and laugh at it or something.
Whatever that's, whatever is going on. Like I understand where OP is coming from.
It's your wedding, you're paying for it. But like you also can't be surprised that your sister is going to come back with questions no and I I do understand where you're coming from I think a conversation probably would have been good but I think OP avoided that yeah because of the sister's track record yeah she has a two-year-old daughter we've already been through this whole breastfeeding thing with that little one yeah so i didn't have the conversation because i wanted to avoid all the drama yeah and and how many times do we get that where it's like you try to have a simple conversation like hey don't wear white to my wedding my mother-in-law freaked the fuck out and cut my dress like whoa you haven't been a part of that one that's me making it up okay but I'm sure there will be one eventually.
People are just crazy. That's the thing.
So it's like, do you avoid the drama and just do this this way because you know her track record and how she is? Or do you have a conversation and potentially open up the biggest can of worms? So, yeah, that's so true. Honestly, if there's going to be drama, I'd rather have it be

after my wedding is over.

Yeah.

Right.

Because it seemed like

there was no win.

But you do run the risk

of at the wedding,

she's blindsided.

Yeah.

And now she's freaking out

that I'm in the middle.

I'm not sitting

in the fucking middle.

I'm the sister.

That's why you got

your bridesmaids.

So you have to like

know your people

and really weigh

those options.

It's a fine line. It's interesting she wasn't a bridesmaid.
Yeah. I mean, a lot of people don't have them anymore.
Yeah. Like I know, like my friend Jordan's got three sisters.
She's really close with all of them. They would be bridesmaids.
But like not everyone has their siblings in their wedding parties. Like especially like if there's big age gaps or things like that.
And I feel like people need to stop feeling pressured who they ask to be bridesmaids. Like just if you don't want your sister up there, that's okay.
Like you don't need to because she's your sister. I don't even know if I'll have anybody up there at all.
Well, that's what I was going to say. Don't feel pressured to have put on this giant event either.
Like you see more and more people just doing it how they want. And it's the coolest weddings you'll see.
Yeah. I mean, obviously the vast majority are still going to want, you know, what they grew up seeing in movies.
But I like the ones that are doing it a little different. Outside the norm.
Yeah. I do too.
Should we get to the comments on this one? Top comment. I've never heard of a wedding where someone, at least one person, isn't upset about something.
Weddings seem to be magnets for that. I've got a family wedding coming up in a few months and I am just holding my breath.
Yeah. Ain't that the truth? That's what I've been saying.
It is it's sad that it's supposed to be so much happiness and it causes so much tension for so many people. It's impossible.
I mean, you're bringing everyone together. Everyone that doesn't want to be together has to come together.
There's no winning. It's going to be a good time.
Ours is going gonna be really chill though and spread out enough that if you hate someone's guts go to the other end of the carnival get away carnival yeah you're gonna have a carnival yeah really that's at least the current phase wow current phase wait like where in minnesota yeah at the You're going to have like a pop-up carnival?

Oh my God, I'm so excited.

Yeah, it's like hillbilly carnival.

Ponies?

Ponies, there's going to be a camel.

Sub.

Ring toss, carnival games, a little ride or two.

I'm so pumped.

Mosquitoes, flies, ticks.

It's going to be in September.

Jesus.

September.

It's going to be perfect weather. I thought we were naming everything that's going to be there.

There won't be mosquitoes by the end of September. It's going to be perfect weather.
I thought we were naming everything that's going to be there. There won't be mosquitoes by the end of September.
It's going to be totally fine. Totally fine.
It's going to be so great. Have you ever been in Minnesota in September? Yeah.
You just got to get the bug spray. If winter comes early, then sure.
It's okay. We'll be in a tent, too.
So if you don't want the bugs, you stay in the tent. No carnival games for you.
Yeah, I want like a hillbilly. I want to be a carnian.
I'm so pumped. I love this idea.
It's going to be good. Wow.
I'll run one of the games. That'd be fun.
Yeah. The ring toss.
Genuinely actually so happy right now. Yeah.
I'm so happy. I just want a party.
Like I don't want the traditional, which not that there's anything wrong with it. I think it's beautiful.
But I'm leaning towards eloping this fall and then having on our one year anniversary, the wedding. I love that.
Yeah. So that's what, that's where I'm at.
Justin, I don't know where. Don't matter to me.
We go back and forth every day, but he's just, no, there's no back and forth. He's just like, do what you want.
He's like, I don't, I don't care. The back and forth is like over on you it's there's no none of this because i go back and forth i'm obsessed with versailles i love like the fancy french court looking stuff but at the same time i want a carnival so it's it's going to be an interesting blend between the two yeah i you know i love it you know neon carnival that party at coach.
Okay. But Versailles.
I love it. I need a wedding planner.
I need someone to help me take on this journey. Also, I just loved your, there's no back and forth.
Because the other day I was talking to my friend and she kept saying we about like her and her partner. And I was thinking like, is he actually saying this stuff too? Or like.
Probably not. Yeah.
And then I made a comment and I was thinking like is he actually saying this stuff too or like probably not yeah yeah and then and then I made a comment I was like oh I like we me and my partner actually want xyz and I was like well actually it's just I want it but he said he's down too and she was yeah that's that's what I'm referring to when I'm talking to you he's just so chill he's like no whatever makes you happy like as long as I get to invite my people like it's cool but like we know we're gonna have drama so justin's like really just like not looking forward to it so it's it's hard like having that boundary or not boundary but like that have your cake and eat it too you get what you want but you also don't have family drama and so we're we're trying to sort how we how we do everything yeah i'm looking forward to like referring to it in the past like oh yeah at our wedding we did this because then it's just you can also try to i heard this once i haven't necessarily practiced it but i've heard how in therapy they kind of there's been like a push to just really release all of this that we hold on to wanting all of our family members to be happy on certain occasions and wanting to fix things and to just really work on releasing that because it's like, okay, let's say that there's drama at your wedding. You guys don't have to solve it.
It doesn't have to be your problem. No, you're hosting the wedding.
No, no, no. You have a good day.
If your family members are acting up, that's on on them i am fully in the boat of we are going to have some conversations before with both of our sides we both got shit no both sides this is about us this is our day if you cannot be there to support us we understand like you don't have to come yeah this is about us we don't want drama if we need to hire a babysitter for you, we will. But it's not about you on this day.
Yeah. It's about us.
That's good. So that's like where it's, I think he's also dreading that conversation.
Morgan can take care of it. We each have to have the talks with our families.
Every person deals with their family of origin for the smoothest results. So I've been told.
We'll see. We'll report back.
Yeah. Let me know.
Let me know how that goes. I think it'll be fine, though.
You guys got this. It'll be fun.
We got it. It's a carnival.
It's going to be so fun. Was that for Justin? Sorry.
We can link it because then it's... Yeah.
Nice. So this is coming from a subreddit we have never talked about it's r slash am i the asshole underscore would i be the asshole underscore public only 35k members currently it's a good name they're up and coming mouthful for sure would love to see that change but here we go am i the asshole for spilling mustard all over myself at? Earlier today, my wife and I were eating out at a barbecue restaurant in our town.
We don't eat at restaurants much since it's rather expensive, so this was sort of a special occasion for us. I decided to order the chicken strips and fries with honey mustard sauce, and our food came out rather quickly.
My wife had just started on the burger she ordered, and I was attempting to open the mustard container. It was one of those packages where you peel the lid back on the cup and then dip the chicken into it, but the lid got stuck and wouldn't come off of the cup.
I thought maybe that if I squeezed the cup hard enough, I could force the mustard out of the cup and onto my plate. The idea was sound, but it backfired spectacularly.
Instead of the mustard shooting out of the cup and onto my plate, it shot up and all over me. I had honey mustard from the armpit to the waist all the way down the left side of my shirt.
I felt extremely shocked and embarrassed by this, so I started dipping my chicken tenders on my shirt. I felt extremely shocked and embarrassed by this.
So I started dipping my chicken tenders on my shirt. I didn't want to draw attention to myself because I thought I would be ridiculed.
Instead of being ridiculed by the waitstaff, however, I was instead ridiculed by my wife. She told me that I was embarrassing her and acting ridiculous.
But I reminded her that the honey mustard was still

perfectly good and that trying to wipe it all up with napkins would only waste it. When I was done

with my meal, I went into the bathroom to blot the rest with paper towels, but I still smelled like a

corn dog all the way home. Worse still, my wife refused to speak to me.
I assured her that I would

simply throw the shirt into the garbage rather than try and clean it, but it didn't seem to help. My wife was determined to be mad at me.
After getting home, I threw my shirt away and tried scrubbing the mustard smell off of me. I think I did a pretty good job, but my wife is still upset.
I don't know what more I could have done. These sorts of things happen to everyone at some point.
I tried an alternative way of extracting the mustard and it just didn't work out. I wish she could see my perspective sometimes.
So am I the asshole? I just love that he was embarrassed. And so in order to be less embarrassed, he started eating it off of his shirt.
What was that transition? I don't know. And like my first thought would be like, damn, I got to clean this up so it doesn't drip down further.
But I mean. It seems like it was an even spread.
Like not a dripping kind of spread. It sounds like an explosion.
Yeah. So maybe he's got multiple dip spots.
Yeah. This is a wild a wild one but like is it that big of a deal no no but i i have a feeling i have a feeling that he probably does stuff like this often and she was like that's it like done i'm just you're really just you're pissing me off you know what you're signing up for though you know what kind of person you sign up for I'm all about this I think the the time I became the biggest fan was when he started doing it dipping it on the shirt like that's that's a great idea yeah I've done it I'm gonna be honest I've done it I think everyone has at least like a little bit you know at least like wipe it off your shirt and then lick it with your finger yeah oh god remember the do you guys remember the baby story yes when he thought it was mustard on his shoulder because he's at a picnic and it was baby poop and he licked it off his shoulder and he was holding the baby in his hands and kind of uh or it was on his arm he licked it off something like that i'm glad i didn't know that one yeah it wasn't it was a recorded episode that we did like probably a year ago at this point yeah i don't think it's that big of a deal i i think you could have addressed it in the restaurant and been like hey babe like not cool please go clean off like i'll open the next sauce packet for you and then you're done mean, I understand that we only have his side.
It did make a lot of sense that she was determined to be mad because we've all known, whether friend, partner, whoever, we've all dealt with someone that's like, nope, I'm going to be mad at you. And they don't say that, but you can just tell.
And no matter what you do going forward, they're just going to try and keep being mad, even if it's an act. Yeah.
I wonder how accurate his writing is though, because I was thinking about it. I'm like, did she say something in the restaurant? And he does say, she told me that I was embarrassing her and acting ridiculous.
And then I reminded her that the honey mustard was still perfectly good so it's like it almost seems like he was just determined to just dip off his shirt and then it's like okay that's kind of weird like yeah if i saw someone dipping off their shirt in a restaurant i mean you do it once or twice to be funny you know but yeah i i'm with you yeah yeah exactly There a certain norm yeah i think like a reaction of that to eat it off yourself is funny in the first motion but to just actually make a meal out of it it's like okay that's doesn't feel very sanitary now that i'm thinking about it yeah it's kind of gross like you're rubbing that chicken grease on your shirt. Your shirt.
You've probably sweat it,

sweat in your shirt like multiple times already.

You know,

I mean,

I do at least.

Sure.

It's goner no matter what.

So no,

but I mean,

now you're,

now you're eating a sweaty honey mustard and like fabric dye,

laundry detergent,

all the things.

We need a bunch of bad stuff without knowing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's definitely not the worst thing.

That's for sure.

But I, it, to be in public And to have my partner just like Continue to eat that way Yeah I think it would make me feel a little weird too The first scoop I would laugh Let's laugh Yeah because you'd be like oh whoops Still good Five second rule But like if we're just sitting there at a restaurant And he just keeps then okay yeah i think i'm gonna go with you're the asshole for this one yeah let's let's go with that it's like a you're the asshole on but it's really a problem that doesn't matter not that deep yeah yeah top comment you're the asshole you should have asked the restaurant for a fresh mustard your wife will never step into that restaurant again especially with you you're the asshole for dipping your chicken on your shirt and not cleaning it up but the thing that got me was that you threw the shirt in the bin rather than washing it that's just totally weird is it though because that thing is that's not coming clean after that chicken grease to get out yeah grease is hard to get out yeah grease is just brutal i just i also hate throwing away things that are just not going to i hate throwing away things it makes me feel bad i don't anytime i throw away something like that a shirt that's just completely ruined and stained and i'm like i can't even bring this into a um good or anything. It makes me feel bad because I just picture it on the landfill

just sitting there for like thousands of years.

Same.

There needs to be better ways.

It just goes to a sad song and a somber shot of Lauren's shirt

sitting as the other garbage is being dumped around it.

It's just sitting there.

Yeah, that one like sad dog commercial song zooming in on different pieces of Lauren's items at the landfill. Yeah.
It's really hard for me to. I like to, I don't know.
I get what you're saying. Yeah.
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Moving along. Let's do one more food one before we get off the topic of food.
Yeah, because we're not hungry. Oh my God, I'm starving.
It is titled, Am I the asshole for secretly eating takeout food? My pregnant wife cannot eat because she has gestational diabetes. My wife, 34 female, and I, 35 male, have been married for 10 years and have been together for 15.
She is 7 months pregnant and has gestational diabetes, which has been very hard on her, and by extension, very hard on me too, and our relationship. Her doctor has strictly recommended she follows a strict diet, and that means no sugar or high-calorie foods, such as Alfredo sauce or pizza and the likes.
Naturally, she has been very, very upset because she has cravings, but there's no way she can indulge. She has gotten sick of the alternatives suggested to her and would start sobbing sometimes when we go outside because she will see all of these food places only to realize she cannot eat what she wants.
I feel for her. I really do.
Our relationship started to break down a little when she started taking her anger out at me. My offense? Ordering the things I like to eat, such as cookies, cheese, frozen snacks.
We get groceries delivered to us, by the way. She was extremely mad at me for being able to enjoy eating these things and made me feel guilty for eating stuff she craves.
My breaking point was one time she angry cried over the fact I brought home a box of donuts I received from office on my birthday. I was sick of her behavior and the constant policing of my food intake in our home that I, in no uncertain terms, made it very clear that she cannot punish me for a health problem she has and that this is my house too and I will eat and drink whatever and whenever I please.
We had a bad argument that day,

and I uttered divorce. That seemed to shake us both, and we did a few sessions of marital

counseling. To keep it short, our therapist held her accountable and shared that it was unfair to

me to be at the receiving end of her emotional distress. However, she also emphasized that my

wife is probably feeling unsupported too, and I could try to be a little bit more discreet and

Thank you. end of her emotional distress.
However, she also emphasized that my wife is probably feeling unsupported too, and I could try to be a little bit more discreet and stick to making healthier meals together, which would be great for both of us. Since my wife cannot make up for excess blood sugar she has by working out a lot, she is chubby and has bad knees, I can see why she feels helpless.
As a solution, we decided to stock up the forbidden foods in the second fridge we have in the drawing room of our home that we use to store drinks and guest snacks. It's better when reminders of the things she craves but can't eat are not there in the common fridge.
This also means I can almost never order takeout at home, and sometimes I miss doing that while watching Netflix. I still missed having the occasional pasta dish at the Cheesecake Factory or McDonald's, so sometimes when I drive home from work, I eat in my car, keeping the therapist, reminder triggers, in mind.
Because I know that my wife knowing knowing that I ate stuff she can't, will make her mad. Yesterday, though, I took my wife on a long drive, and she found a receipt for the cheesecake factory on the floor of my car.
At the moment she found it, she started sobbing and wouldn't talk to me. Okay, that's a little much.
wife and I have an agreement that I will be discreet when I want to indulge in food I want to eat so

that she does not feel triggered every time. Am I the asshole? No, you've done more than enough

already. Yeah.
You go, sorry. I can't imagine what it's like to have this health problem and I

can get there maybe 5% having cut dairy completely out. And that was a big change

for me. But it would be absolutely ridiculous for me to then look at Morgan and be like,

you're ordering pizza and you're going to eat that in front of me and you're going to get a

milkshake. It's hard because I know then I would start to go crazy if I ate shit I didn't like

every day. And I just, all I wanted was to eat what I used to eat and what everyone else can.
And that would, I could see how that would boil over and you'd start to try and take some of that out on your partner. Yeah.
But at the end of the day, he's definitely not the asshole. And by finding some middle ground, you're working as a team, which is good.
And also by having cheesecake on a random Friday and the receipt just happened to be in your car. So be it.
That's not a breakdown moment. That's fucking weird.
I do think the reaction to finding a receipt from the Cheesecake Factory is a little unhinged. It's like it's a hotel receipt.
I know. She found he's having an affair like that level of like upset i wonder if there's other things going on too because i mean the story said that she's what seven months pregnant yes so probably a combination of you know dealing with all types of health things going on is amplifying emotions but at the end of the day, you can't just like police what

somebody is eating, even if they're your partner. I understand the sentiment of wanting them to

support you like that and not eat certain things that you're having such a hard time

with having to avoid in your own home because the smells, especially if you're like making a pizza

in the kitchen and then it smells through the entire house. And so I understand that aspect.
And it sounds like they found that good middle ground. You know, obviously he's already making a sacrifice for her and he's avoiding, you know, having his Netflix and, and ordering takeout moments.
So he's already making his sacrifices of things that he would normally do in order to have her feel more comfortable and so i think the fact that he is now getting punished for eating it outside of the house not in front of her that is that's crossing the line i understand the house but like he can go to cheesecake factory for lunch during the week and like that shouldn't be an issue. Yeah.
Does her being pregnant with their child like impact the context for you guys? Like does that sway you anyway? Because like it's kind of the same with drinking. Like a lot of couples are, you know, if you like wine, one partner can't drink because they're pregnant and so the other one will not drink in solidarity.
So's almost like does that impact it for you guys because I'm gonna be honest like I don't think he's necessarily I don't think he's the asshole for what he's doing but like I feel like he's kind of the asshole for how he wrote it and that's something that came up when I had Shane from Smosh come on he was like we come up with this a lot when we read. And he was like, they're not the asshole for what they did, but they're the asshole for how they said it.
Like when he was like, oh, well, she can't exercise for the excess blood sugar because she's chubby and has bad knees. Like that, that's kind of, I don't know, that's kind of interesting to add and like also you don't necessarily like

why don't you just go like walk with her like walking is better than running like in terms of benefits so it's like I get bad knees but like let's get the girly some hokas and like you know start small one one lap around the block and then maybe two and like you know what I mean it's just like the way he wrote it was like so, but like I get being at your wits end. I mean, those roles from the Cheesecake Factory are fire.
I feel like these posts are also an outlet a lot of the time. And so you really do need both people's write-in and then have them come together and write one together almost because you're going to get the extremes and you're also going to get additional information that is maybe also just a release instead of it actually being totally relevant to the problem at hand.
But no, I think pregnancy is a, it is a temporary thing. Yes.
It gives you a child for life. But the fact of like, I always said I'd be happy to not drink during that time.
And I think that would honestly be a healthy, good choice. It sounds kind of nice to try and challenge yourself to do that.
We can rope you into nine months of no drinking with me. Yeah.
The one... Oh, sorry.
You go ahead, Lauren. lauren i was just gonna say i i mean i joke because you you asked if that changes things and i yeah i think there's more i have more sympathy because she is carrying his baby so it's like let's do this together and the fact that this is something that she's going through temporarily like this you know she it's not, let's do this together.
And the fact that this is something that she's going through temporarily, like this, you know, she it's not like she's setting these boundaries for the rest of their entire relationship. I think then, you know, that does give a little bit more wiggle room because I've I've made jokes to my partner saying that he can't drink when I'm pregnant.
But I mean, I don't really mean that. However, if we were to be sitting in our house every single night and he would be having like one of my favorite glasses of wine every single night.
No, that will not fly like that. That's a different story.
Just like you're like flaunting it in my face almost. Yeah.
Which I understand, like you shouldn't be yelled at. You shouldn't be screamed at and like verbally, emotionally abused for eating the food you want.

However, he goes, I was sick of her behavior and the constant policing of my food intake in our home.

And that I, in no uncertain terms, made it very clear that she cannot punish me for a health problem.

She has.

The health problem she has is because she's literally pregnant with your child.

So that's where it's like it's frustrating for me because it's like I get it. Like she has gestational diabetes.
That is her body. She can't eat those things.
You can. But at the same time, she's making a huge sacrifice for you guys to have a family and have your child.
And the least you could do is like try to eat healthier and like not like taunt her with a box of donuts. Because I'm the type like I cannot buy that stuff because i will eat it like there's no healthy balance for me there's no self-control like i don't buy certain things at the grocery store because yeah i'm so like that too yeah yeah so so if we're if we're partnering up like yeah we're trying to be healthy i'm trying to be healthy then like you got to try to be healthy with me too buddy and he's just like I want to eat the things I want to eat How do you think she fucking feels? She wants to eat what she wants to eat, but she can't because she's pregnant Carrying a child for you guys your child and to be honest at first I Wasn't realizing that this was temporary I was thinking that this was like a diagnosis that she's going to have for the rest of her life I have a lot to say now yeah and and so with that being said it it does change things because if this was a boundary that

she's setting for the rest of their lifetime then it's like okay if if he wants to go and get some

dessert outside of the house yeah you you gotta let him like i know but like to your point it's

like if it's only for nine months i guess we can we can kind of crack down on him and like

Thank you. of the house.
Yeah. You, you gotta let him like, but like to your point, it's like, if it's only for nine months, I guess we can, we can kind of crack down on him and like he can be on the same page as her.
Yeah. For most women, gestational diabetes does go away soon after delivery.
That's what I'm finding per the CDC. Okay.
So I think it's one of those things like in the house, eat clean, hide your snacks in the secondary fridge.

If you can't do that, you're kind of being a shitty partner.

She needs to understand that you going out and going to Cheesecake Factory, that's okay.

If she's triggered to have an emotional breakdown from finding the receipt, that's a little much. And, maybe you need to find some other positive coping strategies

for the remainder of your pregnancy. Right.
Exactly. I would completely agree with that.
Final thoughts down there? Well, if I hadn't been a dummy and misconstrued that very small, but very huge detail, I think no matter what it is for nine months, you can suck it up. And I think my- You hear that? Yeah.
My idea going into pregnancy is my bandwidth and my just patience and everything goes up to the max to where I don't think from also an issue as small as this in the grand scheme of things, the word divorce should never be uttered. I think couples that start to throw in breakup or divorce, any couples that start to throw that into the mix with one argument, or maybe this is a string of arguments about the same thing.
That is just, it's never a positive thing. And that's only going to doom you to failure

because you can't throw that out like a carrot on a, like a threat.

Oh, I hate that.

It's like a break in the trust.

Yeah.

It is because then it's like, oh, okay, well then if we have a big disagreement on X, Y, Z,

are you just going to be done then too? Instead of, you know, the couples that we see 40th,

50th, 60th wedding anniversary, they're able to take those big arguments. And it's not, oh, we're splitting up.
Yes, get divorced if it makes sense and if that's the best choice. But in this case, just throwing it out as a threat, that's not how you make it to the long run.
No. And it's like- I forgot about that.
If it's nine months- That's huge. You could probably benefit from eating a little healthier for nine months.
Yeah. Try it out.
Yeah, it doesn't sound like he necessarily eats the best. So try it out.
The pot- Any Italian dish is like, look at what's on the menu and add two sticks of butter because that's what's in there. I know.
Especially from a restaurant. So good though.
Fuck. So I'm still staying on the, you shouldn't freak out about what's eaten outside of the house.
Yeah. But against him, I would say deal with it for nine months.
Be there to support her and everything in any way. Because shit's going to get a little crazy.
It just is. For some people, it doesn't.
I have a kid now. Somehow, and they're normal and just everything, like nothing changed the whole time they're pregnant.
other people it's the extreme opposite yeah world war three i'm ready to go into it with the the biggest open mind there is because it's temporary and we get through it and we work through it together yeah this completely changed for me when i realized the i know i can't believe we both that. I think we should just redo this story and have me just have better answers.
No. This is great.
Well, we do have an edit to you guys. Bop, bop, bop.
Bop, bop, bop, bop. There's still resentment I have against her for ruining my birthday.
Basically, the gift I got from my wife that day was her yelling at me and me uttering divorce and ending the night in tears. I still hate her for it.
For creating a bad memory, I likely won't be able to erase, but I am working on it. I feel the same way too when I read what I wrote.
I do not want to hate her, but I do. I still cry thinking about how we fought for something seemingly innocent, and I feel so wronged that no one sees that this was unfair and borderline abusive for me.
To be at the receiving end of this as a spouse because I happen to be a husband in this dynamic? I'm not sure about therapy for this, but I grew up poor and food insecurity was a big part of my childhood. It makes me feel pretty shitty that now that I have the means to provide for myself, I cannot do what I want.
But no one sees my trauma and why I want to be able to make my own decisions too. And even if I didn't have this trauma, I shouldn't need a reason to act with autonomy as long as I am supportive of her and being considerate about her food issues, which I positively have acknowledged in therapy with her and I'm doing my part, even though I and our therapist agreed that her initial demands were ridiculous.
I was made to feel like a horrible, horrible person for simply bringing a box of donuts my coworkers got me on my birthday when there was no malice involved, no bad intentions, no desire to rub it in her face or whatever the rest of the world calls it. I regretted being a married man that day and I wished I had never met her.
I've never let anyone bring my self-esteem down in the way my wife did. I have never given anyone else the power to hurt me like she did and I want to take it away.
No one has ever made me feel like a criminal for eating a donut and storing the rest in the fridge inside the house I own too. I mean, honestly, the birthday donut thing was pretty bad.
Like it's his birthday. Come on.
But he's responding like she went and killed his whole family. But it is interesting how much...
I need to know more about her reaction with the birthday donuts. Was it literally like her sobbing, crying, stomping her feet in a tantrum, throwing the box? How dare you? you're you're the worst person how could you ever do this to me you're so bad you're such an unsupportive partner all for bringing donuts home right well that's what he's making it sound like that was that like the end of the world he said it was borderline abuse and i'm just trying to picture too like if i came home from work on my actual birthday with donuts and if my partner started like berating me instead of just being like happy birthday you know literally that would really really hurt me too so happy birthday can you please can you please get those away from me yeah but also like it's a birthday yeah it's a birthday like treats yeah i just this this must be so hard on her i get exactly that's what i'm thinking because i'm like i get like you know huge cravings too like i get huge cravings too specifically when like i was saying if there's an oven on and you smell the pizza and it just like makes the entire place smell really delicious but like just to have somebody bring in donuts in front of me and then for me to freak out like that those sound like either really intense cravings or maybe she's just associated anything with him bringing in you know treats or things she can't have with such intense feelings around it even if she's not actually experiencing the cravings yeah Yeah.
They both need to just chill out. They definitely need to continue with couples therapy regularly.
Like none of this needed to go to 100. No.
This is not zero to 100 type of things. It's all temporary.
Yeah. I think OP is dealing with a lot of deep, deep feelings that probably stem from childhood though, to like, to like, I hate her for this.
And then to be like, I've never let anyone bring my self-esteem down in the way my wife did. I've never given anyone else the power to hurt me like she did.
That is a relationship. Like having a long-term relationship, you are giving that person the power to hurt you.
That's what love is. You're trusting someone with your heart, your confidence, your trust.
Just a lifelong punching bag. Jesus Christ, Justin.
Well, that's what he would call it. Well, if they've been together, it doesn't sound, I mean, OP said that they've been together for 15 years, married for 10.
And is this their first child? I mean, it doesn't matter. It sounds like it.
But yeah, it's like they've clearly been with each other and been able to i mean you never know you never know if there's fights involved but it doesn't sound like there was issues prior so it does seem like this is something that should be more temporary and emotions are extremely high on both ends and they're both they're taking out on a surface level such deep rooted feelings that they're both individually experiencing that are so opposite from each other this one's crazy i cannot wait to hear your guys's thoughts on it those listening please comment on the instagram post the youtube comments because even the comments on the original post are kind of split too are you the asshole for occasionally eating fast food away from home that your wife doesn't know about no you are the asshole for literally every single other thing you wrote in this post like what do you mean you still hate her yeah that's very concerning next comment because baby boy's birthday was ruined by his own choices I don't necessarily agree with that like he got a box of donuts from his colleagues at work that's a very nice gesture what is he going to do leave him at his desk baby boy's birthday was ruined by his own choices like that's that's very condescending i it almost you're really invalidating him there exactly he is also entitled to having a good birthday she didn't need to freak out in the way she might have yeah it could have been hey love you please go hide those donuts away from me i can't have them in front of my face i will eat them and it would have been done and then it would have been done like they're both at fault here like and also it's a birth like uh i don't know so please chime in on this one. I, I feel like for me, I'm kind of in the boat of everyone sucks here.
I think that's where I would stand overall. They're just not working together.
They got to start working together. Yeah.
I feel they both need to address some, some issues in a big way. Yeah.
Food insecurity, really, that's a hard one to deal with. Like money, like growing up without money and without food, like that can create a lot of issues down the road.
I have a really, really bad relationship with money. So like I get that.
And like- Well, it's not to be taken out on your partner. That's where therapy comes in.
So hopefully they can actually get down to the root of all this. Yeah.
I hope so too. We'll look for updates.
He deleted his account, so we'll see if we get one down the line. Maybe it was the baby boy comment.
Yeah, it's, I don't know. Yeah.
It's interesting because I'm almost like no one sucks and everyone sucks. You know, it's a tough one.
This is one where it's not so clear, maybe to us at least. Yeah, because I am very adamant about the partner who's like you're sharing a baby and only one person is carrying that baby and going through a lot of changes.
So I'm so adamant about the partner being right next to that, you know, the person carrying the baby and just rooting them on and doing whatever they can to make them feel supported and secure. So with that context involved, but then at the same time, you also have to be reasonable.
So it's just, it's a mess. The.
Okay, moving along okay this next one i haven't i actually haven't read a lot of these today but this one i haven't read a single thing the title alone i it's gonna throw us through the the ringer okay it is 23 hours old coming from A-I-T-A-H. It is titled, Am I the Asshole? Dot, dot.
Who am I kidding? I am definitely the asshole. For sleeping with my ex-fiance's affair baby 23 years later.
Look at that age gap. That is wild.
Whoa, I am a 45 year old guy single no kids all names are fake Okay, here's the short version about 24 years ago. My then fiance ella then 20 told me she was pregnant I was over the moon We did not set a wedding date yet But now we wanted to wait till the child was two to three to be a part of the wedding party.
When she was about seven months pregnant, my world shattered. A friend, let's call him Luke, told me that the child was his and not mine.
This led to a physical fight and Ella took his side. We were done.
I broke up with her then and there. She moved in with Luke.
I did demand a paternity test. If the child was mine, I demanded to be in its life.
After the birth of the girl, the test was done twice. By a clinic I chose and one she chose.
Turned out, she was not mine. I was destroyed and left town.
She could have her life. I didn't want to witness it.
And now to the present. A month ago, my work brought me back to my hometown temporarily for two weeks.
I ran into Ella and her daughter, Nikki, 23, at an impromptu school reunion. Ella wanted to catch up.
I wasn't angry anymore, but also did not see the point of being friends. I declined and mingled.
After a while, I sat at a table nursing a drink. Ella had already left, and Nikki sat down at my table.
She asked for 10 minutes to talk. She knew about my history with her mother, and it was clear that she resented her mother because...
Luke was also not her bio dad.

Ella cheated on me with at least two people.

23andMe revealed the real bio dad.

He had passed away already.

Damn.

When Nikki was seven, Luke found out and kicked them out.

And it became the scandal.

Nikki was bullied her whole life for being the affair baby.

Luke's family disowned her. All of the cousins she was close with were gone all of a sudden.
She blamed her mother. I asked her why she told me all of this.
She said that I am someone who would understand this betrayal, and she is a product of that betrayal. She does not expect anything from me.
She just needed someone to talk to that would understand. I felt for this kid, so we kept talking.

We exchanged contact info and went our own ways.

Next day, she wanted to talk more, to vent more.

So we met in the bar of the hotel I was staying in.

We had drinks, and she ranted about her life.

We talked until late, and when the bar closed, Nikki was too drunk to drive home.

And since I didn't know where she lived, I couldn't even get her an Uber. So I took her to my room.
I have the habit of always getting a room with twin beds, so she slept in one bed and I slept in the other. Nothing happened.
The next morning, we had breakfast, and she left while I went to work. A few nights later, I met Nikki in the bar because she had a lot to rant about.
also talked about her future and she expressed interest to move out of town to escape the stigma of being the affair baby

Here is where I am the asshole

I made a move on her one night at first she walked away. I thought I blew it

So I went up to my room an hour later

She sent me a text asking if I was in my room.

As soon as I answered with yes, she knocked on the door. I was sober.
She was sober. I had time to think.
I could have sent her away, but I didn't. This is the daughter of my ex-fiance.
If I had never found out Ella cheated, I would have raised Nikki as my own daughter. But I found out, and Nikki is not my daughter.
I never saw her as a baby, never saw her grow up, I never saw her as a daughter. The first time I saw her was a week ago.
So yes, I slept with her. And then again.
And then again. And then again.
Nikki is more vengeful than I am. She said she wanted to let her mother know, but she wasn't going to do it if I didn't want to.
I was okay with letting her know. It took a little convincing in how we would let her know.
We took a picture together, clearly in bed, clearly naked, but covered by sheets. Oh my God.
And she said it as a one-time view pictured her mother via instagram message with the caption i can finally call him daddy Ella called and they got in a fight then she got in a fight with me still over the phone I thought I was over the betrayal but it seems like I had bottled up everything and now it finally came out I had four more days there and Nikki stayed in my hotel room those four days now Now I'm back home. Nikki is currently packing everything.

She's going to move to another country to be away from her toxic environment.

She will stay with me for a week, maybe more, before she flies away.

She is going no contact with her mother.

I have also blocked Ella on everything.

Yes, Nikki and I are both broken.

I refused therapy for years.

But after that one outburst where I told Ella everything that was bottled up, I've decided that I do need therapy. I have suggested it to Nikki.
She said that when she is settled, she will. I'm not even going to ask if I'm the asshole.
I know I am. But what do we think? Do we think asshole? Or is this sweet revenge to consenting adults? Let Lauren go.
Let's go, Lauren. I don't like it.
I don't like it because you were mature enough to decide to get married and plan a life with somebody while this kid was a fetus.

Like, I know that you didn't see her as a baby and you didn't raise her,

but something about it just feels so off to me.

And yes, technically, you guys are totally clear legally.

I mean, you guys are both adults.

You don't share any DNA.

You guys are in the clear, but it feels so off to me and clearly he understands that it also is is off a little twisted yeah yeah what are your thoughts justin i will say i like the shock value and the little bit of revenge and putting you know ella and replace a little bit. Like here, guess what? Ha ha.
Because these two fine,

it feels... value and the little bit of revenge and putting you know ella in her place a little bit like here

guess what ha because these two fine it feels like these two this is almost a big release is still a weird word for it but this is a big like it feels like a weight off them that they're like I got my shot

and now

she's moving away and

who knows but regardless of all that, it's weird when you are writing a post in here and you reference someone as a kid and then a few sentences later, you're like, yeah, we slept together. Yeah.
That's a little interesting. I know.
See, that's... I just, I mean, I don't love the dynamic.
I don't love the circumstance of them getting together. Yeah.
But I'm not mad at the fact of revenge. It's just how revenge was taken.
Yeah. I do see this honestly being closure for both of them.
As fucked up and weird as that is, like, this is how you get closure. But I honestly could see this being what they needed for closure yeah and you'd hope so I think that because and again everyone does mature at different ages but because she's so young and vulnerable and she's gone through so much trauma and she's had so much shift in her very young years of life yeah and not to say that he hasn't gone through trauma too because clearly he was also at the end of you know being betrayed by the same woman um moments up to his wedding day so but just the fact that she went all like through this at such a young age and she is still young it just makes me feel like she was she was too vulnerable for to really understand the gravity of the situation yeah and like i agree yeah and so i think that's the part that gets me um because she was confiding in him it almost reminds me of um what's it called the georgia movie uh georgia rules with lindsey lowen if you remember like l Lindsay Lohan like her character she makes a move at this older guy and the guy was like you are so attractive don't get me wrong you're definitely tempting I know what you're like trying to do but I will I'm not going to be that person because she's historically had these men that have basically taken advantage of her and so she that was like kind of her way of taking back control almost okay and so it's like that's what I would have hoped for is that this guy was just like we are adults and you are attractive but I I think that you've gone through too much and I don't want to be on that end of things to make anything worse for you.
Yeah. But you could be right.
Maybe it is the closure that they need. It's really hard.
Human, human, like we're so complicated little things. Yeah.
Where do we think the comments are going to go on this one? I actually don't know. I feel a mix, but I, the other part too is you're, it was also weird in the justification for doing so that it's like, well, if she had been mine, I would have raised this girl right here as my daughter.
And then to flip it really quick. And I get the point that I was being trying to be made.
Yeah. But at the same time, it's a little bit still in that like you still just referenced her as a kid category.

Yeah.

And then the next sentence is, so we slept together.

It's just, it's a weird dynamic for sure.

I think he was really trying to draw like I did not ever meet her.

I didn't know her.

I didn't raise her.

You know, someone else did.

She's not mine.

But it's just weird.

The different timelines.

Like, oh, in one timeline, she'd have been my daughter.

In another timeline, we're sleeping together.

Just interesting.

Very.

So the top comment.

Apparently, OP had a typo.

After a while, I sat at a table neutering a drink.

What did you do to your drink?

What is that?

What is that?

Nurturing a drink? Nursing. Nursing a drink nursing nursing a drink yeah next comment down cut its balls off no one's answering the actual thing here dear penthouse forum i never thought i'd write a letter like this i always thought the ones i read in the magazines were fake but dot dot dot this would take take a tragic illegal turn if the paternity test got it wrong.
Oh, God. Holy shit.
Would be a hell of an update post. Yeah.
I'm not seeing many comments like addressing the actual post, which I find very interesting because usually people would just like sink their teeth into this one and really you're the asshole or you're not the asshole because he already said he was really embracing that let me search not the asshole see if we have anything none found you know towards the bottom people do start to get back on track yeah you're a total creep

it's a lot i i don't like it i i i think it's kind of weird but i don't think

i hate the age gap we all know i don't like those but technically technically did they do anything

wrong that's a question we're also going to put to the people like legally legally

See you next week. but technically, technically, did they do anything wrong? That's a question.
We're also going to put to the people today. Like legally? Legally.
No. Technically? Morally.
Technically, there's better choices. Ethically.
Ethically, there's better choices. Yeah.
Because I also do believe that people like Ella that do these things in life, I do feel like they carry forward with them a lot of baggage and a lot of weight that they deal with internally. Yeah.
And then the people that got burned along the way are like, revenge, revenge, I got to make them feel it because they never appear to show that they've ever felt it. Oh, they just get to keep jumping from person to person and they leave behind a bunch of hurt people and whatever.
They feel like they never carry that with them. I feel like a lot of people that do go through things like this in her position feel that weight and carry that forward with them.
I don't feel like they're just running forward. It's not closure.
I think there's regret. I think there's embarrassment.
There's something. there's a lot of emotions they carry forward, but don't reveal because then they're showing that they made the wrong choice or whatever, where you see a lot of people saying, no, I made the right choice and I'm going to prove it.
Even if I hate it, I'm going to prove that I made the right choice. And that is true.
I'm happy and everything's good. Well, and I think like taking what you're saying into consideration and Lauren's thought where Lauren was like, I just wish he would have been like, you know, you're really attractive.
I, you know, I would love to, however, you know, it's just inappropriate. If he would have been more of that, you can vent to me.
I'm hurt. You're hurt.
But like, let's move past this in a bigger way together.

Like, let's be friends.

Like, let's remain friends.

But I don't think we should go down that road.

Yeah. I think it probably would have been healthier for her in the long run.

Right.

To lead into what you're saying.

10 years down the road, is she going to regret this?

Because we've had some confessions for some of the live shows where someone wrote in, they were like, I had sex with my boss at 23. He was 35 or whatever the numbers were.
And I really, really regret it now that I'm 30. I didn't mean Nikki regretting.
I was talking about Ella. Yeah.
I was talking about how she doesn't necessarily need that punch and that revenge hit.

Because she's already.

Because she's already carrying all that forward with her.

I was interpreting as what you're saying as like Nikki would, you know, she's only 23 and maybe grow to realize.

Well, sure.

But I'm just saying on the topic of revenge.

Both, I guess.

Yeah.

It's not like Ella's skating forward free she didn't get off easy yeah and i honestly think that makes situations like this too i think sometimes the person might feel like ella may not feel like she's worthy of love or she's worthy of stability and that's why she almost spirals out of control and is jumping from guy to guy i mean we don't know like maybe she is just a like serial cheater or maybe it's a one-time affair and doesn't give her more or maybe it is well no because there was the second one but like one but like in a time isolated instance yeah but but yeah but you don't we don't to your point we don't really know exactly what she's going through and we don't really, it's not on, it's not on them to give her their revenge or her revenge. And maybe it felt good in the moment, but it probably was, there probably were better moves that they could have made.
Yeah. And they clearly don't have regrets as of now.
Right. Because they're meeting up for a couple of weeks.
I mean, I think that's just him trying to be supportive. Well, and that's what I would have loved to see.
I would have loved if he would have came in and been like, you know, you don't have a father figure. I'll be your mentor.
I'll be your father figure. And then really draw a boundary there.
There's no, you know, a father figure. Clearly that like is something that it sounds like she would like.
Yeah. She feels like she of she needs something and i i do think in a weird way like this is daddy issues daddy issues air quotes coming through like you decided to sleep with the one guy that like your mom was about to marry and would have been your dad like if you look at it from that perspective we kind of get down a weird rabbit hole There's some comments from OP.
Nothing really to write home about. Just kind of defending themselves to the commenters.
Someone does say, you're going to hell. And OP responds, only applies to people that believe in God.
So I'm good. Oh, God.
Some other comment from him. I don't disagree on the loser part.
Basically, someone called OP a loser. Why do you think I was drunk on a Sunday posting on Reddit? I wasn't looking for revenge, but when it came my way, I took it.
You are so lucky that your ex from your 20s didn't break you completely. Some of us aren't that lucky.
So two people who are very clearly hurting and need therapy. Yeah.

Which- Some of us aren't that lucky. So two people who are very clearly hurting and need therapy, which now after this experience, he is pursuing.
Yeah. But yeah, I think you're the asshole.
Yeah. I think it could have gone a lot better and you could have still had that revenge.
because I think like if you did become an actual father figure or like a friend to Nikki, that would also hurt mom just as much. But again, like do you need to hurt- If she's a good mom, hopefully it wouldn't.
Hopefully she's not pregnant. God.
Can you imagine? The cycle restarts. Oh my God.
That would be so weird. Wow.
And all of a sudden, his ex-fiancee is his child's grandma. Dude.
Dude. I can't.
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We got to go before it gets scarier. This next one, only eight hours old.
Very, very much so a part of the theme, is it really a big deal? It is titled, is It Weird to Have Your Parents Wax Your Nether Regions? In other words, Is It Weird to Have Your Parents Wax Your Genitals? Yeah. Yes, it is, actually.
I can't think of any context in where that wouldn't be. Well, hiya, Reddit.
Hope you all are doing well. I'm in a little bit of a pickle as I don't know if this is weird or not.
Basically, I have this friend, let's call her Emily. She's been a really close friend of mine for the last few years while being at uni.
We're both 22 female. We get along really well and she seems sane.
However, I just found out she does something which has made me question if this is normal. A little thing to know about Emily is that her mom owns a waxing business.
It's fairly small, but not struggling. Anyways, I was chatting to Emily about a date I had been on and how it had gone well.
It's the first guy I've spoken to since my ex who I've clicked with. I was really excited about our next date, our fourth one, and was saying to Emily how I was thinking we were going to be intimate.
Our last date had a lot of chemistry, and there was a lot of touching, kissing, and flirting, but we wanted to take things slow. I was saying about potentially going in for a wax.
I haven't had one, but I have heard a lot of good reviews. She said I should definitely, and that she'll get her mom to do it for me at a mate's rate.
I said that I appreciate the offer and all, but I think it might be weird having her mom all up in my hoo-ha. She said it's not weird.
She gets her mom to do it for her every month. When I say I was silent for a solid three minutes, I am not lying.
She kept trying to justify by saying it's her mom and she's seen it all before and why would she go elsewhere and pay when her mom does it for free? But the thought of my parents getting all up and personal when I'm a grown woman is maddening to me. Like, is this normal? Well, anyways, I said I would think about it and left.
I just want to know if A, I should go to her mom for the wax, and B, there's a bigger issue at hand. Is it normal

that a 22-year-old woman had her mom waxing her vagina? I would love some opinions on this,

as I genuinely don't know. Also, the thought of using the mom's waxing will be appreciated,

as there is a little bit of a time crunch, too, as my next date is on Saturday. I mean, I find it odd, but if it works for them or if it works for the daughter, then, you know, I guess there's no harm.
It's not harming anyone else. Oh, my God.
The thought of like, can you imagine your mom like pulling apart your lips no i don't like that and getting that wax in there and like oh i couldn't do it it couldn't be me that level of comfort with your parent that's something it is something i don't think you should be afraid to go to your friend's mom's place though Like I think that's enough separation Yeah Yeah it is for other people But even so I still I like to go to strangers if I'm gonna do anything like Get your discount though It's not that big of a deal And it's true she has seen it all Anytime you go to like any doctor And you're stripping down They've seen everything under the sun. And you're just another number in their list that they got to get through that day.
Well, and there's a certain level of professionalism, right? You're not being sexualized. You shouldn't be when you go to these places.
But waxing is, I just think that there leaves more room to not be professional. Like you're all sitting at dinner and having a conversation and then all of a sudden the mom is just like oh yeah because you have a whatever shaped vagina and like I would be shocked you'd hope that that doesn't happen but I just I think I would feel better about going to like a friend's parent as a gynecologist because that's like your medical license is on the line but like getting waxed like I would just feel uncomfortable if they ever didn't really understand that what my boundaries are yeah I mean yeah or I don't know what they could really say though what like really what could they say I don't know she could go back to her daughter and be like your friend has an outie not an innie cool that's a fact of life yep some people Some people might be upset with that though.
Yeah, sure. But it's also, it's within comfortable territory.
I don't know. Let's get to the real story here.
Yeah. Which, yeah, it's not my vibe.
I'm curious if you sampled a million people and said, how many of you would have your parents? Well, in this case,

you know, it's same sex parent. I don't, regardless, how many would be down with this?

I'm curious what the numbers would show. Guess what we're going to do? Put it to the people on

YouTube this month or like this episode. Are you going to phrase it more like, do you think this

is weird or not? Or would you physically actually be down with this or not? Would you? Well, how should we ask it?

Because in my head, it would be, would you be okay with your parent waxing you?

Yeah, yeah.

I think that, yeah.

Like, I mean, like my mom, when I'm home in Minnesota, like my mom will sometimes like

walk into my room to like grab something out of a dresser and she'll be topless.

So like even modern day, like my mom is very comfortable with her body but like it's only the top half which i feel like is a little bit more like not intimate yeah you know what i mean like i feel like breasts are i'm like very comfortable with breasts like i eat topless beaches you do what you want breastfeeding in public let's go baby one guy's borderline of boobs too guys do have boobs it's the same tissue it's right but i feel like lower genitals are a little more a little more let's let's keep those a little contained under wraps so i don't know it's not for me no yeah it wouldn't be my choice but i I'm just curious. It's interesting.

It's borderline.

I'm curious when that friend started getting waxed by her mom because it could be maybe a situation that's not appropriate at all.

True.

But that girl just doesn't realize it.

True. And that's where it could get a little scary.

Would you let Austin's dad wax you?

It's just very weird to see when you put specific people in positions.

I could.

For free though.

For free.

As opposed to paying.

Get that discount.

100 bucks or something.

I don't know what they go for.

I feel like I'd go to a friend's dad. Yeah.
Austin's dad. Okay.
I'll let him know. Yeah.
You'd let him wax your butthole? Yeah. I guess he's an accountant, but also on a side business does the waxing.
He's got a, he's got a, I'm going to get my discount. Yeah.
I'm getting my discount. I'm not afraid.
Justin's very frugal. What are they, also, what are they, what is they What is he gonna tell everyone Oh man you should have seen What Justin had going on down there

Yeah maybe

Yeah bitch

That's why I got a fucking wax

What do you mean

Who's afraid

Like I don't know

I don't know

I just I guess like for me

I guess that's a good point

I'm sorry

But that is a good point

Where it's like if someone's gonna talk shit about you

After a wax

They're weirder than you are

Of course

What could they

What big secret are you hiding down there

And I don't think that anyone would talk

Big old bush

I don't think anyone would like

Thank you. shit about you after a wax they're weirder than you are what could they what big secret are you hiding down there and i don't think that anyone would talk bush i don't think anyone would like in their right mind would like talk shit about somebody's area but like i just think that they might find it so not private because that's what they do day to day in and day out that they might just make a comp like a funny thing like yeah like you know what you just said and then in front of everybody and to me i'm just too private for that i wouldn't like that even if it wasn't making fun of me it just i wouldn't like it it doesn't get written in the history books like no one's gonna look up lauren rolfe way in the distant future oh lauren michelle june rolfe she had a landing strip and a mole next to her asshole.
Like honestly, two hot takes will probably outlive us in the grand scheme of things. I know, I hate it.
I always think we need to burn this before we die. We're just going to be little memories, pictures on people's walls and then eventually just nothing.
You know where we're going to end up? In that vault. Landfill.
Next to my shirt. No.
And the mustard shirt. Okay, sorry, go on.
The landfill. We're better than the landfill, I hope.
Some people would disagree. I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
You know, there's that like secret vault in the mountains that are, it's like a cultural strong hive. There's like vinyls.
Strong hive? Sure. Stronghold.
Stronghold. Hive is cool though.
It makes it think it's like protected by bees. Yeah.
Wait, you're referring to like the online like the YouTube after we all pass away one day in the future. Like that's where it will go to exist.
Someone's going to download a couple copies on a flash drive and put it into the vault that's in the side of a mountain. They're saving like films.
Old movies, yeah. Yeah, films, old movies.
They have the originals. Art.
Vinyl, art. It's like inside of a mountain vault that they're holding on to culture.
That's kind of cool. In case stuff goes south.
Wow. So I want to end up in the vault.
I was like, that podcast was so good. Not as Morgan, but it has two hot takes.
I don't want the podcast to end up next to the the mustard t-shirt by any means that was yeah yeah what the heck no no but something about like me not and this is just a weird control thing but something about the idea of me dying and then like my online presence living forever somehow weirds me out.

I don't know why. But think about the great grandchildren that are going to get to meet you.

Say hi to them, Lauren.

Hi, guys.

Say hi to your great grandchildren that will never meet you.

They ain't watching this.

Except through this video.

Well, sometimes I say things.

They definitely will.

You don't think our kids are going to watch this podcast?

They definitely will.

Our kids?

Yeah.

You didn't say kids.

You said great grandkids.

Yeah. Lauren's going to have a big prodigy is that the right term but see that's what worries me how old are they when they start watching this are i don't want to have like a you have no control 12 year old great grandchild who's listening to us talk about a landing strip it's gonna happen you know your grandma got lasered they're gonna learn it at some point might as well get it over with yeah yeah lauren yeah what get it over with tell your grandkids everything put it out there lauren out there no okay on to the next lauren was an exhibitionist oh no no.
Let's read one of the comments here. The way OP titled this, I thought mom and dad were doing it as a family activity.
Sheesh. Next comment.
To be honest, I did too. I was envisioning family waxing night.
See, it could be worse. It could be worse.
It could be worse. A lot of good comments that I agree with, but I just have to say, oh my gosh, please

don't get waxed for the first time before a date with this guy if you expect intimacy.

You need to know how your skin will react to it.

Yeah, so true.

Skin can be so unpredictable.

I had an at-home waxing night.

Yeah?

Yeah, Jake and I.

For your back, though.

Yeah.

That's a little less risky. And every strip strip he pulled my screams were heard throughout the building my um that shit was hot my friend got waxed uh when we were younger because they were going to be like the abercrombie and fitch models outside and they didn't want any hair so they had my friend wax their chest and it did not go well and they couldn't stand out there and and work for them that's why you got to know how your skin reacts yeah no there is a comment from someone close to the top so her mom the person that grew your friend in her uterus and then assumably pushed her out of her coochie changed her diapers bathed bathed her, cleaned her puke, talked her through her period, is professional esthetician and makes money waxing.
And you think it's weird that she waxes her daughter? You probably don't have a close relationship with your mom, and that's okay. I don't either.
I wouldn't be comfortable with my mom in that manner. But that more so reflects our own parental relationships, not anyone else's.
It's not weird at all. And that's where we go to each their own.
Yeah. I mean, that's what I said in the beginning.
I was just like, I find it odd personally, but they're not harming anyone. So do you? And I think how often you see your friend's mom also would dictate, you know, if it's like, I never see this woman.

Go over there for dinner every week.

Then I might be like, nah, I don't want Julie waxing me.

But if you're not really close, you don't see that mom.

Yeah.

It's basically just another waxing professional.

Yeah.

Might as well get the discount.

That's what I'm saying.

Context.

I'm strangers all the way.

Moving on to the next one. The next one.
It's your turn to sing it today, Justin. No, thanks.
What are we moving on to? Number four, number five. The next one.
Thank you, Lauren. One, two, three.
Moving along. That was so good, everyone.
Good job.

I'm never doing this again.

You did so great.

We're never doing what again?

Sitting in this chair, talking into this mic.

Podcast over.

You did great, sweetie.

But we were just setting up for the vault.

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Pick an earlier episode.

Okay, so this next one is titled,

Am I the asshole for asking my girlfriend to cut back on her messy hobby?

My girlfriend collects rocks and bones. Not crystals or anything.
She doesn't think they have any magic powers. They're just normal rocks.
She's not into astrology or any witch stuff. She sometimes tells me about the rocks and what type of rock they are.
And it's usually chert, which seems to just be a normal rock. Chert? Chert.
C-H-E-R-T. Okay.
She's really outdoorsy and she travels a lot for work. And when she gets back from a project, she has a pocket full of new rocks.
The bones are usually deer bones that she finds out in the woods and she doesn't have as many of them. The skulls are cool, but also kind of creepy.
And most of them don't even have antlers or anything impressive like that. Her favorite bones are shoulder blades and those spinal bones.
If we go on a hike, she'll sometimes stop randomly because she's found a cool rock that looks like a normal rock that you could find anywhere, and put it in her backpack or pocket. Sometimes she asks me to carry them, and I have to put dirty rocks in my pockets.
She keeps them all over the house on tables, but mostly in our bedroom on the dresser and on her desk. She used to keep the skulls and bones on the dresser, but put most of them in the closet when I said I was creeped out when I would wake up and see a bunch of dead animal skulls staring at me.
But she takes some of them out when she's working from home. The problem with the rocks is that there are so many of them and it's starting to make the apartment seem cluttered and kind of messy.
If anyone came into our room, they would just see a bunch of random rocks all over the place. The other day when I was cleaning, I put all of them in a nice box so that they were all in one place and she got really mad when she got home.
She says she likes looking at them and seeing some remind her of the different trips she's taken, even though they all look the same. And she said that they're beautiful and make her happy.
She also likes to pick some of them up and carry them around with her during the day. I calmly explained that we were running out of space for her rocks and maybe she could take photos of pretty views she has to remind her of her trip.

And she got really, really mad and said that it wasn't the same and I couldn't tell her what to do with her apartment.

Even though we both live here, so it's my apartment too.

I tried to get my friend to commiserate, but he said I was being an ass for trying to stop my girlfriend from doing something that makes her happy and that I should be thankful that her hobby doesn't cost any money. Am I the asshole for wanting a clean apartment? I'm not even telling her to get rid of all of her random rocks and bones.
I just want to put them away to make the place look nice. Am I the asshole? Here's the thing.
It's neither of them are in the wrong. It's a compatibility thing because like to me, this would drive me crazy.
Like I would, I like it. I don't like when it's super cluttered.
So I wouldn't like that. But I also don't want to stop somebody from their passion and from enjoying what she clearly loves

and the way that she loves it.

So to me, I don't know that,

like neither of them to me are an asshole.

I guess like the friend in between

thinks that OP is an asshole,

but I don't necessarily find OP to be an asshole.

I just think that it's like a compatibility thing.

Yeah, I'd agree with that.

It goes in that category, the new one we have, where you're not an asshole, but you're an asshole for writing it this way because you're basically trying to make a mockery of her, what she likes to do in this collection to try and win everyone over that's reading your writing to say, yeah, that's super weird. Why would anyone even do that? So we're kind of focused on the problem, but we're trying to belittle what she likes to do and the things she likes to keep.
Yeah. Morgan and I have done this.
We would find Morgan. I, at one point, knew Morgan really liked really cool-looking rocks.
I collect rocks, you guys. I would go out.
I'd swim really far out when we'd go to the beach and I'd dive down and try to find a couple of cool ones to bring back for her. And then another thing it reminds me of is when I was little, I used to bring these little jars and I would collect sand from any beach that I went and visited as a kid.
Did you guys do that? I didn't really go on Sandy vacations as a kid. Okay.
So, but I think it's cool. I was on a string of them over the course of a few spring breaks.
And so I'd have like the Florida, the Mexico, you know, whichever one. And it didn't turn into a lifelong collecting hobby for me, but I see how for someone it could, especially if it makes them happy.
So here's the deal. You're not chained at the hip for life.
If this is going to be an issue, then we don't have to be together forever. That is ultimately what it boils down to.
She wants to continue doing this. You'd hope you'd be able to find some compromise, but if you don't, then at the end of the day, nobody's wrong.
And we just, like Lauren said, we're not compatible. We move forward, but I would never want someone to stop doing something that makes them happy to appease me as a partner.
But I would appreciate in this instance, some sort of compromise because we're not saying your rocks are stupid and I hate them. I don't want to see them.
We're saying, can we just find a way to make it look a little more aesthetic and just not have so many? I feel like you're approaching it from a reasonable place. And if we're not met with some sort of compromise, then that is what it is when we move forward.
Well, I even think in the way he wrote this, he's almost getting the two problems misconstrued. It's like, am I the asshole for telling my partner to cut back on her messy hobby? And then the last line is like, am I the asshole for wanting a tidy place? That's true.
There's two different problems then. You wanting a tidy living space, that's fair fair come up with a solution together where she can still beautifully display her rocks and you can have a place tidy because if there's a dresser and then a desk and it's covered everything's covered with rocks and you can't set a glass down or set your shirt down or whatever that would annoy me nobody'd be yeah but how amazing is this of an opportunity is this to like come together or something and make like some sort of like beautiful statement artwork piece like i'm envisioning one of those cylindrical glass vases and then you just layer them all and then she can continue adding until you get another one and then maybe have different heights of cylinder vases and fill them i was picturing a sort of three-dimensional map where you could glue the rocks to the place.
I was picturing like a... Like where people put the pins at a restaurant where you see the pins from...
And then she glues them on the board of where she got them. That would be sick.
So I looked up what chert looks like, by the way. I've never heard it called this chert.
I've always heard it referred to as agates. It's agate agate agate however you want to say it yeah but rocks are really confusing they definitely look like agates but yeah these are the ones that she's collecting this is what comes up when you type chert yeah it's agate looking it's beautiful variations of green red yellow orange um the ones that were the bottom ones looked like they might have been tumbled in a rock polisher because they're a little shinier than what I think you'd expect to find in nature.
I used to do the rock tumbling. Yes.
But these are beautiful. I mean, those layered in a beautiful glass vase would be incredible.
That would be a beautiful statement piece for your house, actually. It's kind of like us collecting driftwood.
We do collect driftwood. Yeah.
And we collect rocks too. But we did it with intention because we wanted to make a table.
Resin art. Where we use resin and it's all this really cool looking driftwood from Lake Superior.
So it's like a piece of home that lives with you. And I feel like that's how she sees these rocks from every place she visits.
She seems to be a big traveler, like our very own Lauren here. And so it's like a keepsake from all of that.
It's like no different than the big old picture books our parents had before you could just scroll through them on a phone where you'd flip and all the, you know, it was like going through all your memories. I love that.
I really want to bring photo books back. Yeah, they are really fun.
I yeah. And I'm just thinking about it, too, because like for me personally, I just if I had a bigger space, then I think it'd be better for me.
But like I get so overwhelmed when my place feels cluttered because I already feel overwhelmed with how much stuff I have in such a small place. And I'm trying make figure out where it all goes and so then sometimes when like I like Brian my boyfriend he'll like put like um like these like football figures around the house and I'm like bobbleheads yeah we'll see but one day when you guys have your big house he'll have his whole space for the memorabilia yeah it'll be good that's where

you can have that stuff not in the main yeah exactly i've given justin a lot of free reign he's got his little cause guys up on the shelf long planned before nice that was long that was pre-approved you got to realize though you're lucky because not every gal i got my permit for that long before the shelf they sit on,

before the shelf they sit on was even built.

So we should. You're lucky because not every gal would- I got my permit for that long before the shelf they sit on.
Before the shelf they sit on was even built. Who issued your permit? Morgan.
The world of Morgan. I have to get permits for things.
It just makes it easier. Take notes, guys.
A permit is short for permission. So you get permission.
Is it really? In my world it is. It's a fun world.
I thought we were creating this whole, now we're getting. Permit is short for permitted.
Permitting. Permission, yeah.
So I got my permit early on in the process. You did.
And now they're beautiful. I'm going to have Brian start using that.
Did you get your permit for that? You should create a him that he has to fill out and then he has to pay a small fee. Here's your application.
Charge a hundred dollars every time too. Dude, I had to pay a hundred and forty dollars at the Burbank permit place to put a dumpster on the street.
They're really charging people for stuff there. Huh? Opportunity for you, Lauren.
Yeah. You could really, you could make some bonus funds with the permit application process.
Brian, you want to display your bobblehead? Well, there's new rules in this town. You need a permit.
And there's permits required. $100 each permit.
Yep, it's $20 a day. So if you want the bobbleheads out Friday through Sunday, $60.
No, that's like storage. That's like a Pond's shop or something.
No, you can't pay per day.

Ponzi scheme?

One time.

Okay, there's boundaries to this, guys.

Well, then he'd be renting the space on the shelves like a grocery store.

Which, honestly, Lauren could consider as a part of her application process.

I guess that could be a clause that could be worked in.

Yeah.

You guys are taking this way too literally.

Okay, let's get to some of OP's comments here.

So someone comments, needing to take them out after agreeing to store them away is something else. And OP responds, to be fair, she does put them back when she's done working.
She says it helps her focus on writing reports and stuff. Like how many rocks are we talking here? What size? Maybe like 50 total, OP says.
All different sizes, but mostly only an inch or two two across she's got about four big ones the size of my fist and those are the ones she puts in the living room by the lamp to quote decorate it feels silly to spend money on a display case for normal rocks but i'll ask her they're mostly on her own personal desk which is her space but i still have to see them all the time. And it's a mess.

Downvoted 262 times.

Yep.

We're both in our mid-20s.

Oh, so you got a lot of time

to find new people.

OP does say a lot,

I can't tell them apart.

They all look the same.

And so someone asked,

can she tell them apart?

Yeah.

And he comments,

she says she can.

She can also pick them up and tell me what they're made of and how it was formed oh oh here is a great detail that might have been relevant in the post she's an archaeologist okay so someone that might be very passionate yeah artifacts they find yeah stones i know there's a difference between archaeologist and geologist geologist true true true does specialize in stones but i think a lot of times they go hand but she likes them both yeah just let the girl fucking live okay but i do wonder her personal space is that out in the living room because for example like Brianrian's desk is in the living room where the tv is and whatnot you know like it's not like in so it's like do you know what i'm saying yeah yeah like if you have like a living room that you're both sharing even if it's like a personal desk it's like sometimes people still want it you know there's no mention of where her desk is located whether it's in the living room or an office. I think regardless, we're going to compromise or we're not.
We work together or we don't. Fair, fair, fair.
It's all just kind of hoopla. I'm like asking for myself because I'm like, should I feel bad that I told Brian to clean up his desk? No.
But yeah. He doesn't have rocks on them, but like, you know, I just.
Even if he did, like, it's his desk. What if he collected like dead rodents? Some people are really into roadkill taxidermy.
That's a big passion project for a lot of people. That's not his thing.
He just like has his like papers all over his desk. And so I just ask him to organize that whenever I come over.
Yeah, make it tidy. It's fine.
That's the difference with this story. He kind of took everything everything and put it away which a lot of times that's a cause for big problems my stuff where lauren approaches it from a much better position saying uh could you organize this and then you allow them to take part in it yeah because i don't know when people mess with your stuff and put it all in one box it it gets all.
Yeah. We do have a few more comments from OP.
A lot of people are suggesting shadow boxes. And now that I've Googled them, it seems like a good idea.
I thought they were those big ones that you see in a museum. Shadow box? Okay.
If you want to glue them, whatever. I like the pin board idea where you can almost make a map of where you found them.
But I do think the could be so cool or they're not accessible or here's an here's another one that i've been doing with my rocks now i have a fiddle leaf fig tree which fiddle leaf fig trees elevate the space immediately and then you can put the the rocks on top of the dirt for your fiddle leaf fig tree it is a lot lot. And then she could put that next to her desk, have a beautiful plant with her rocks nicely displayed.
I love that. Yeah.
Bingo. Bingo, baby.
Or you make a next story. Yeah.
Yeah. Well, cause I was going to, there's a lot of ways you could display them, but they're not accessible.
Like if she likes to actually grab them, carry them around. Exactly.
That's a good one. That's what I was thinking.
I was thinking about like, if there's a way that you could display them but they're not accessible like if she likes to actually grab them exactly that's a good one that's what i was thinking i was thinking about like if there's a way that you could frame them with like double glass and then you could see the rocks like all in like one you know like you could see them because if you put them in a jar you're not going to be able to see the ones in the middle kind of thing so if she wants to view them i was thinking that but does she have a thing where she likes to touch them And that kind of like calms her I have a stress rock here So that's why I think the plant is a good way And then she just reaches down into the plant And can hold it I like that Then they're covered in dirt They don't come out dirty We could also put Wood chips on top of the soil Yeah I don't know about mulch on an Indoor plant I don't I don't know guys okay To be determined But I'm just I'm trying to figure out how we can make it less Dirty yeah yeah they don't they They don't come out that dirty the soil Is pretty good Oh is that your brother yeah My brother and dad just rolled in I know he's Cool. What do we think the overall vote on this one is? That he's the asshole.
Sorry, I was looking at Jerry. It's very funny.
I know. My dad is like smushing his face up against the window of the studio.
What do we think the overall vote is on this one? That he's the asshole. Yeah, for how he wrote it.
And maybe just in general. Yeah.
Top comment. Some people might be content getting quietly stoned every weekend, but your girlfriend is a rock star.
Make no bones about it. She's found a way to turn a mundane outing into a little treasure hunt.
Yeah. You're the asshole for trying to curtail something harmless and fun that brings her joy.
It's clear that you don't get why this is fun for her that's fine but that doesn't mean you shouldn't let her take joy in it it's just rocks it isn't as if she's hoarding illegal iranian yogurt or something that's a callback for us all yeah i don't that we had a story about a guy who collects yogurt some of which is illegal interesting lovely um no yeah and that's when whenever you said 50 rocks too i mean given that 50 rocks is a good amount of rocks but like i was picturing at first in the story that it was yeah like just thousands just like covering every surface 50 is not even bad yeah not even bad next comment down no assholes here both partners have reasonable preferences here and neither seem to be acting like assholes about it yet but i had to upvote you for the puns there you go i think i think i would go i think i skew more towards asshole based on how he's writing it and almost his condescending attitude about the rocks yeah and is kind of stealing stealing the joy how fun is it to go on a hike and like take a little rock every time as like your souvenir and like yeah remember like that time like I think that is really beautiful it is cute and it's magical and it makes her happy I think and going back to like the beginning I also think that people have different preferences if they can't compromise it like a compatibility thing. It doesn't mean that one is the asshole or the other.
However, it is a good point. I don't like how he wrote some of the things.
It seems very condescending. Like they all look the same.
What's she doing? They all look the same. You know what I mean? Like that just makes it seem like you're just taking the joy and you're making something mundane that she views as magical.
And so like, just because you don't find joy in it, you don't have to downplay it when somebody that you really love and care about does. Yeah, exactly.
You know, you can be like, I don't find the bobbleheads very magical, but you know what? My partner does. And so.
Well, if it bothers you that much, go find someone who's not an archaeologist. Who's not a geologist.
I thought you were telling me to go find someone who doesn't have bobbleheads.

Well, but that would be, that is. Yeah, exactly.
But I thought you were just like saying that so like stern to me and I was about to crack up. Yeah, Lauren, go find someone that doesn't have fucking bobbleheads.
What are you doing? There's a solution here. Okay.
I have one short and sweet one for us To really end us

On a note of rage

Okay

That's not where I saw that going

I just want to really just pop it off today

Okay

This one I haven't read it

But based on the title I think it's going to be clear

It's a big deal

16 hours old coming from relationship advice

Titled

My husband 28 male

Thank you. title i think it's going to be clear it's a big deal read it 16 hours old coming from relationship advice titled my husband 28 male told me 26 female that he wished my c-section would go wrong during an argument wow my husband and i got into an argument tonight he wanted to watch a new show during supper and i wasn't too big of a fan of it because I knew it had violence in it.
But we started watching it anyways after I finally caved in. Our son is 1.5 years and was eating in his height chair, and the show started getting very violent.
So I asked my husband to turn it off, and he refused. I told him it's not good for our son to watch this type of stuff, and still refused to turn it off A guy in the show got slammed against a wall.
I don't even want to hear it and our son said, uh-oh So after my husband still refused to turn it off. I grabbed our son out of the high chair and left the room My husband paused the show and started cleaning up the mess from the high chair and said I was being ridiculous.
I showed him an article about how watching violence is not good for a child's development, even if they can't understand what they're seeing. He called me a bitch.
I told him, quote, please don't call me a bitch. I'm not being a bitch.
I'm being a parent. Stop letting your pride get in the way of doing what's right for our son.
And then he me a cunt and threw the drain plug at me I turned and it grazed my back. I stared at him in disbelief and he said quote.
I hope your c-section goes bad I hate you I'm currently pregnant with our second child I'm in such disbelief right now. I don't even know how to process what just happened or what to do is this something that can be fixed or forgiven absolutely not fucking run i hate him run just in general if she's having i don't want to eat something gory or wait sorry i'm in disbelief i don't want it I don't want to eat something while something gory is on my tv like I don't want to do that no matter what and yes there are studies behind when your child's watching tv and what tv is on yeah that is factual go look at the facts go look at the studies I should at least say but just from the very start it's infuriating and then it just gets worse and worse it's almost like it almost feels like he's like out of his mind doesn't it seem like this is such an aggravated overreaction for something that could have just been like okay i'll shut it off it seems like it's not a big deal to show it seems like a 13 year old who's like going going through like angsty teenage rage that like doesn't know how to handle it and says things they don't mean because they don't know what they actually are saying.
I'm literally wondering, like, is this guy using steroids? Like, is this fucking roid rage? Like, what the fuck is wrong with this? You're a bitch. You're a cunt.
I hope you die during your C-section. Oh, my God.
If my partner, the father of my two children, ever told me he hopes you die during your c-section oh my god if my partner the father of my two children ever told me he hopes i die during my c-section guess what you're not gonna fucking be there at the birth of our child and we're fucking done get your shit and get the fuck out of my face done see and it scares me so much too because if you leave them well now you have to raise your child with them i mean assuming that they get at least some custody and now you have to drop your child off with them in this behavior it's so scary yeah like that would make me so afraid to leave my child alone with somebody who can pop off and react like that and who also is just gonna watch gory movies with my like toddlers watching the entire time too so i just this oh i don't like this it's a tough situation well the thing about it is you she doesn't say he's never done anything like this and this is the first time something like this has ever happened if it is the first time that's really crazy like to know someone for that. Cause I know we like put yourself in it with your partner.
Yeah. For that to all of a sudden happen would be the scariest shit.
Yeah. And you'd be like, be like, where did this come from? I would call the police on my partner.
Well, it's just so ridiculous. And the kid literally said, Oh, like the kid knows what it's watching yeah literally the next thing is probably

like a like you don't know what's coming you don't know shows so like there's some scenes from shows that have stuck with me my entire life i will never forget we just talked about this i i watched a scary movie when i was like six or seven and it still haunts me like i think think about it quite often. Like I was way too young to

watch it then. And this is a baby like stuff can sit in your unconscious subconscious.
The kid was watching. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, your brain is taking it all in when you're little. Like when I talked to a therapist once she was saying, she's like, no, like you're you from day zero, You are taking this in.
Like if you have family members who are fighting in front of you before you can even remember, like that is a part of your brain formation. Yeah.
So yes, if a baby is around like a violent show once in a while, like it's not going to be like absolutely detrimental, but to just actively have a family dinner and just put on a violent show. And when your partner already doesn't feel comfortable about it for herself, but then pay no mind to the fact that like, she's letting you know that there's studies that have been done to show that it's actually not helpful for the baby and you don't care.
Crazy. It's so wild.
And you throw things like a child. Abuse.
It's starting to inch towards abuse and this is your this is your sign to get out yeah top comment this is just the start of more terrible things to come please get out asap next comment down when someone shows you who they are listen would you ever treat the love of your life like that if the answer is no you deserve better deserve better. He would not hear your reasonable pleas.
He insulted you and threw things at you and then made a sickening comment. My much older friend gave me this advice about men and it's always stuck, though still hard to break out of patterns of abuse.
Yeah. It's hard.
It's really hard. I just, it's something to answer the question, no, you can never come back from.
There's no way to, though it happened in a blip of time, there's no way to erase this. There's no making good on it.
There's no apology that'll ever justify it. There's no, absolutely no way to come back.
No, I don't think so. And so when things like that happen, there's a reason it's called a fresh start.
And there's a reason that that feels so refreshing after you go through some shit like this. Yeah, we do have comments also sharing support for abuse outreach hotlines and domestic violence subreddits.
So I feel like if you're out there listening and you identify or recognize or relate to any of these behaviors, please look after yourself and get out. I am in the boat of it is always better to just get out versus trying to end things with people like this, have an exit plan, stash away money, do what you need to do.
But there's great resources shared in this comment thread. And someone else does add after it, please make sure that he doesn't have the ability to make any medical decisions in the event that something does go wrong.
So I would highly, highly make sure that OP does that. And anyone out there listening, if you have a partner that you just don't trust how they react or are like this, have a medical decision-making form filled out and notarized.
You can go into your local hospital and they can actually help you do that. And it's a care directive.
They're really easy to do. When you're not making this choice, this is not saving just yourself at this point.
These are your two babies too. You are literally stepping in to make this choice also for your kid.
Yeah. Soon to be kids.
Yeah. Because imagine what happens.
Oh, I'm going to go out to this birthday dinner with the girls or whatever we're watching saw five you don't know what's playing at home like there's just no there's no trust or respect going forward it's impossible no this this is a big deal yeah wow it's not it's not normal it doesn't happen to everyone. And it is a big deal.

This is some crazy shit.

Friends.

I think.

I don't know.

Somewhere.

I'm surprised I didn't recognize.

Pivot!

Pivot!

Pivot!

That was a good one, guys.

We had some crazy stories.

It left me lost for words.

I didn't even know what I was saying at one point.

So if it didn't make sense, maybe you could snip snip.

We'll see.

We'll see what happens.

We'll see. We'll see.
Thank you all so much for being here another episode we're gonna have some fun stuff on patreon we got a bonus episode coming with uh the three of us three of us we do updates we get into some crazy stories with updates those were those were good ones yeah but uh yeah other than that drive safe i hope your cleaning went well your workout you're feeling feeling real strong after it you know i like when some people say that they're at work and they have the headphones in and they just start laughing working crunching numbers yeah and doing stuff their manager passes by and they're like Just laughing at the numbers On the screen

Oh my god

This email from a client

Really funny

But thank you guys so much

And until next time

Until next time

Until next time

Bye

Bye

Bye Thank you.