166: Trying to Have a Good Time.. Ft. Zane and Heath Unfiltered

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Speaker 1 This episode is brought to you by Ollie. You know what shouldn't be a hot take? Wanting great sex and a healthy hoo-ha.
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Speaker 2 Okay, are we ready? Ready? We are rolling.

Speaker 1 Mike's hot.

Speaker 2 All right. Ready to go.
I'm ready.

Speaker 1 We're ready. I'm so excited to have you guys today.

Speaker 2 Yeah, thank you for having us.

Speaker 1 I have been doing a little research, like looking up the lore. And

Speaker 1 you guys have been on YouTube for a little bit. Yeah.
And then I was like looking up your podcast description, and this cracked me up.

Speaker 2 Oh, we haven't changed it since we're going to be able to do it. Oh, no, please.
Oh, is this our like one that we have for our show?

Speaker 1 It's the IMBD one. I don't think you guys did it.

Speaker 2 Oh, okay, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 Zane and Heath Unfiltered, a weekly podcast from YouTube sensations zane and heath two uneducated florida boys with strong opinions and nothing to back it up

Speaker 2 do we have strong opinions i don't know well we definitely don't have anything to back it up

Speaker 2 did you guys write that or is that imbd like giving a synopsis no uh somebody that we know wrote that a long time ago when we somebody that worked like worked for the uh show our friend we just didn't know what to say so we just try to make it as like

Speaker 2 i kind of as shocking as possible we didn't want to be held accountable for anything we said so we thought that would protect us. Yeah.
It hasn't. No.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I don't think most people don't even know what that, what, what that, that that intro exists. I don't think that's a good idea.
Yeah, a lot of things we say aren't factual.

Speaker 2 So we just don't want to be held to that standard.

Speaker 2 I should start saying that about this show. They're all opinions.
But we should definitely just like delete.

Speaker 2 We don't need an intro. If they want to know who we are, they can listen to an episode.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Give us an hour and a half of your time and you'll find out. Yeah, after we're done, we should just delete that one.
Yeah, thanks for bringing it up. We'll get rid of it.

Speaker 2 I loved it it's what sold me oh really yeah oh okay i was like this this sounds fun and then i listened to an episode and like you guys are just like you just want to have a good time yeah that's the vibe i get like we talked um well not we but you guys talked about like the little cereal cup bowl thing that someone are you tick tock shopper he he's addicted i'm not addicted to tick tock shop i've bought maybe like three four things as since it's all started like the whole tick tock shop i'm really bad with it nobody ever admits to addiction i'm really bad with it.

Speaker 1 And it's, it's just too easy. So I need the link for the cereal cup you were talking about.

Speaker 2 Absolutely. Yeah.
It sounded really good. Or, you know, TikTok is so easy.
You just type in cereal cup and it'll be the first thing on the cereal cup.

Speaker 1 TikTok shop.

Speaker 2 And do you guys always buy it through the link that you found it on? Like the, the.

Speaker 2 I go find it on Amazon next week. You don't want to give them the review? I don't want to give them that coupon or whatever it is.

Speaker 2 If they give a good, if they give a good review,

Speaker 2 I'll help them out.

Speaker 2 But if it's some bullshit ass, like the flosser ones, the kid's like look this works and he spit out a bunch of dirt and it wasn't a joke i was like okay i i actually need a flosser but i'm not gonna buy through this because it was he's obviously lying i will say i am very upset because i used to go to tick tock all the time to like look up genuine reviews of products and it used to be people just doing it for you know the sake of talking about the product and you would get like an honest review yeah and now anytime i do it it's just like people getting paid on the side from like referral codes or whatever and i just don't trust it very convoluted now you have to go back to youtube for for those reviews now.

Speaker 2 Yep. Yeah.
But I am

Speaker 2 an avid Amazon purchaser. That's where my money goes.
I love that.

Speaker 1 Okay. Well, let's get into this theme today.
Just trying to have a good time. Yeah.

Speaker 2 She is chill.

Speaker 2 I love how soft smoke is. She feels

Speaker 2 very pleasing to the ear. Okay.
Good. Our voices are not.
So sorry for everybody listening.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 you have beautiful voices.

Speaker 2 Thank you. Beautiful.
I'm going to try your headphones. Oh.

Speaker 2 I want to hear her voice.

Speaker 1 Especially during the reading.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I feel like today we are going to be going over a couple topics. Here are the viewers.

Speaker 1 They're like

Speaker 2 flippable.

Speaker 2 All right. I'm strapped in.

Speaker 1 Okay, so this first one. It's coming from our very own Too Hot Takes subreddit, three days old, titled, I Accidentally Got Into Bed with My Father-in-Law.

Speaker 2 Hot.

Speaker 1 My father-in-law is staying with us for a few days. We gave him our room while he's here.
It's bigger, and we just felt it's the right thing to do.

Speaker 1 Last night, he went to bed, and my wife and I were downstairs watching TV and drinking. She went up a while later, too, and I said I'd be up soon.
I was getting pretty tipsy at this point.

Speaker 1 As I went upstairs, sleepiness and my tipsy state meant I forgot that my father-in-law was in our room. I entered the room and got naked, which is how I sleep.

Speaker 1 I saw a figure curled up in bed and got next to it, wrapping my arms around what I thought was my wife to see if she was up for sex.

Speaker 1 He's a light sleeper and turned around immediately, saying, quote, Chris?

Speaker 1 Oh my fucking God. I jumped out and fell to the floor.
It was dark, and for some reason, I decided to get dressed there rather than just run to the guest room where my wife was.

Speaker 1 I stumbled over my clothes and somehow got them back on. By the time he got the table lamp on and was just looking at me with a what the fuck expression.
I said sorry and went to to my wife.

Speaker 1 I didn't wake her up. I just got up this morning and I'm typing this in bed with a massive hangover and a father-in-law who I tried to spoon, probably talking shit about me to my wife downstairs.

Speaker 1 I have to go downstairs at some point. Any idea what to do or how to address it?

Speaker 2 Before we continue, I was so confused by the story because I thought I was hearing it from the girl's perspective, but it sounds like I'm hearing it from a guy.

Speaker 2 It's a husband. So he got into bed with the father-in-law.
Yeah. A guy.
Yep.

Speaker 2 I feel like

Speaker 2 you can smell that it's not

Speaker 2 that not your wife yeah it's it's so i think you can easily like if i'm climbing into bed and i can smell if it's either you or my wife like like that i don't even have to get into bed you got enough wine in you with my back turned shoulder shoulder you might not catch it yeah but you know the hairs and i i would i would kind of i would kind of see it you know but it's dark in there it's it was pitch black by the sounds of it wine drunk right the damage is done no mention of the type of liquor just pretty tipsy um

Speaker 2 you said the damage do you think do you think it's over for everybody irrecoverable you think so uh no it's

Speaker 2 divorce um yeah that's the end of the road right there uh

Speaker 2 no um a genuine advice i really would have no idea what to do in this situation it's kind of one of those things you don't know until you're in it luckily it's not like super super horrible i mean i would feel more uncomfortable if it was the mother-in-law Yeah.

Speaker 2 Um, so he got lucky on that. He did.
Genuine, honest mistake, you know.

Speaker 2 I won't say it happens because it doesn't, but I mean, it also depends on how aggressive he was with making the moves, you know. I mean, that does matter.

Speaker 2 If you're reaching around trying to

Speaker 2 wake up to that, that's yeah, that's pretty startling.

Speaker 1 Well, also, like, what if he went in there with a boner and then the guy felt it on his back?

Speaker 2 That's that's assault. That's the

Speaker 2 assault. That's assault.

Speaker 1 That's the contact we need in this.

Speaker 1 I feel like you got to play it off and just be like, hey, hey, John, really sorry about last night. I guess this is why we shouldn't give you our room.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Guess a bedroom next time, buddy.

Speaker 2 And I think it all depends on the person, too.

Speaker 2 The person that like climbed into bed, like, what type of person is he?

Speaker 2 Is he always doing this type of shit? Is this going to be a risk in the future? Does he have a history of

Speaker 2 disloyalty? You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 I think it all depends on the type of person. Like, I feel like if that that happened to me, I think very quickly I would have, we would have all been able to get over it.

Speaker 2 We would have laughed about it. Ha ha.
And then that's it.

Speaker 1 Yeah. My dad would have been that way too.
Like my dad has such a crude sexual sense of humor. He would have just rolled over and been like,

Speaker 1 what, what do you want to kiss? Like, he would have like fucked with my fiancé in a way. And so it, I don't think this is that big of a deal, depending on who they are.

Speaker 2 Yeah, just crack a joke. It's kind of harmless.
If you gotta laugh about it. Mother-in-law, I think, a little bit more serious.

Speaker 2 And I don't think the husband would have been very happy about that at all. It would have taken him a little bit of time to get over that.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Top comment, walk into the room, kiss your wife, and ask if he wants a morning kiss too after last night.

Speaker 2 It's a good way to joke it off.

Speaker 1 You got to go in lighthearted.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Can't be too embarrassed, you know, stuff happens.

Speaker 2 But if you're keeping it silent, especially the first 10 minutes of seeing each other,

Speaker 2 what's really going on?

Speaker 2 It's going to seem like he was making an advance on them yeah yeah you gotta play it off otherwise it doesn't seem like the accident it was in any situation like that too any situation like that where you think it's someone else immediately you gotta tell everybody around you have you ever done something similar

Speaker 2 no

Speaker 2 no no not at all oh no i have i have i have with um

Speaker 2 uh david alvarez Oh, this is for me. Okay, so we were we were at a birthday party and we were at a venue that was very, it's just very dark.

Speaker 2 I'm also drunk, and I thought I was kissing another girl, not my girlfriend, just another girl. Okay.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 ended up being my friend's girlfriend. Oh, no.

Speaker 2 Did he care? Well, I immediately apologized. As soon as I saw it wasn't her, I freaked out, immediately apologized.
But he's a type, he definitely laughed a lot.

Speaker 2 He, he didn't, he was like, Zane, you're an idiot. Okay.
Yeah. But yeah, I think he brings that up at least once a month.
Yeah, for sure. Really? I think that means it cuts deep.

Speaker 2 He played it on the bottom. When you overly joke about it, you can bring it up.
I don't know, sensing a little jealousy, you know? Something's up with it. Yeah,

Speaker 1 he's definitely a little hurt. Maybe she talks about that kiss.

Speaker 2 Maybe.

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 2 You should get us in a podcast room. We should talk about it.
Yeah, they should. Because we have not talked about that publicly yet.
They should open up about that. Yeah.
There you go.

Speaker 2 Now you got to go. Am I the problem?

Speaker 2 You might be. I mean, you're the one that did it.

Speaker 1 You can write in on our subreddit.

Speaker 2 Okay. Oh, like, oh, it'd be like anonymous.

Speaker 2 You should make that entry. Yeah, you can.

Speaker 2 Give it a shot.

Speaker 1 Okay, moving along to the next one. You recently got engaged, Heath, didn't you?

Speaker 2 Congratulations.

Speaker 1 We have a lot. It's like wedding season and engagement season right now.
So we've got a lot of those today.

Speaker 1 But this next one, her fiancé is a little

Speaker 1 odd. It's coming from Two Hot Takes Subreddit titled, My Fiancé is Upset With Me Over How I Rejected Another Man During a Night Out.

Speaker 2 How she rejected him. Okay.

Speaker 1 My fiancé and I are both in our 30s. We've been together for four years, getting married in a few months.
I totally adore him, and I think we have a good relationship overall.

Speaker 1 We go out a lot because we both love music. We have a great community of friends, and we see them pretty often at shows.

Speaker 1 We were at a show last night, and I was standing with a girlfriend while my fiancé was outside with a few guys.

Speaker 1 For context, I was very much a weird girl in high school, but from my mid-20s on, I'd say I'm pretty conventionally attractive.

Speaker 1 On an average night out to hear music, I generally get approached or hear passing comments from men three to five times. Frankly, I'm 33 and it's not something I find very fun or enjoyable anymore.

Speaker 1 When men are polite about it, I am too, and polite dudes usually take my gentle rejection well, and so that's not an issue, usually. However, that was not the case last night.

Speaker 1 A guy approached my friend and pointed at me, saying something I couldn't hear. My friend shakes her head at him and says, No.

Speaker 1 He seemingly, not willing to take the hint, comes over to me and says,

Speaker 1 My friend wants your autograph, and points to a guy over by the bar. I laugh because what the fuck? I said, What? And he repeated himself, My friend wants your autograph because you're very pretty.

Speaker 1 I said, No, thanks, I'm good. He asks a third time.
My internal polite response clock had run out. I said, okay, $60 cash or cash up.

Speaker 1 He looks surprised and then sort of laughs and says, how about we buy you a drink? And I said, hmm, price just went up to $100. You still want it?

Speaker 1 And he shook his head and went back to his friend at the bar. My girlfriend and I had a laugh about what a totally bizarre way to hit on someone that was.
And that was that.

Speaker 1 Later in the night, when we were all together again after the show, my friend told everyone the story. My fiancé got really quiet and was kind of standoffish the rest of the night.

Speaker 1 When we got home, he asked why I hadn't told him about that interaction.

Speaker 1 Honestly, he has gotten a bit insecure in the past about these things, and we had specifically agreed I would avoid telling him about dudes hitting on me. So I reminded him of that.

Speaker 1 He was still really quiet and sulky, and eventually I asked him what was going on. He said he didn't like how I handled it.

Speaker 1 He said it sounded like I was flirting and egging the guy on with my responses. Long story short, we argued about it.

Speaker 1 We do not see eye to eye on it, and things still kind of feel tense today, but we haven't discussed it further. I understand my fiancé struggles with anxiety and can get insecure and worried.

Speaker 1 I always want to do what I can to support him and remind him I love him, but I don't think I did anything wrong here. Was my response flirty or inappropriate?

Speaker 1 In my eyes, I was intentionally fucking with a guy who was being pushy and disrespectful, and I'm 100% okay with that.

Speaker 2 First of all, can we take a second?

Speaker 2 Both of these entries are so well written. I could never.
It's her.

Speaker 2 Are you rewording these to sound really nice?

Speaker 1 I do reword stuff on the fly.

Speaker 2 Oh, that's good. Okay.

Speaker 1 I try to read real fast.

Speaker 2 They sound so good.

Speaker 2 Do you want to take this?

Speaker 2 I'll take it. I'll take it.

Speaker 2 I

Speaker 2 first off, she told him that she would never tell him about any guy coming up to her because he probably doesn't feel good about it.

Speaker 2 This probably happened in the past where he probably got aggressive or walked away or was just mad about it the whole night. When, you know, she can't help it.

Speaker 2 If she's a pretty girl, guys are going to come up to her. She can't help it.
Yeah, it is what it is.

Speaker 2 If there's a guy that's asked more than two, three times for a certain thing and she says no and he continues to do it, I think at that point she has every right to do it in whatever way she finds fun.

Speaker 2 That to me was not flirty at all.

Speaker 2 To me, that was like an like it was an asshole move, which i think what she was trying to be was an asshole right yeah at that point like kind of like diff not difficult but just not giving a like you yeah yeah like off like give me some money or quit wasting my time off like yeah it was it was to me it felt like a blant and you yeah get away like you want my autograph

Speaker 1 That's the weirdest pickup line I've ever heard.

Speaker 2 Like price went up to a hundred dollars. And if he did, that's the thing.
If he did have like a hundred dollars

Speaker 2 right there,

Speaker 1 then she might have been fucked. She would have been fucked.

Speaker 2 She probably would have denied it. I can see her denial of first of all.
It just goes to show the guy didn't want her that bad.

Speaker 1 Yeah. 60 bucks.
That's the deal.

Speaker 2 I will say, I can understand how it can come off as flirtatious hearing the story.

Speaker 2 Like, why wouldn't you just be like, no, I'm engaged by?

Speaker 2 Like, it kind of egged it on in a way if you hear the story like that. Obviously, he would know his fiancé best.
And the way I guess it could have been said. I get it, though.

Speaker 2 Nobody wants wants to hear really if you know your partner is being hit on constantly. It's just like a okay

Speaker 2 you want to be informed but at the same time when you are informed you still kind of get like frustrated about it.

Speaker 2 So I get where he's coming from for that and then also her being like well I just didn't want to to come off as like rubbing it in your face type thing. Yeah.

Speaker 2 So I totally understand that.

Speaker 2 And it's just, it's kind of disrespectful you didn't bring it up to if you get hit on like quickly for you to go to your boyfriend and say that just that guy over there just hit on me.

Speaker 2 So what do you want to do about it? It's like his reaction. Unless he like slapped your ass or something, that's when you should like notify your boyfriend, hey, he just like he just touched me.

Speaker 2 He just wanted to be like, yeah, assaulted me.

Speaker 2 But there's no harm in somebody coming up to somebody and saying that they're pretty or asking for their phone number or something and then saying no and walking away.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's not like, it's not like if I want to know that or not. I just don't need to know that because it's unimportant.
It's literally a part of life. Well, and it's like ignorance is bliss, too.

Speaker 1 Like that's why they agreed together. I'm not going to bring this up to you because it doesn't make you feel good.
It makes you feel insecure. And that is tough.

Speaker 1 Like if he's insecure and kind of feels like he's in this position of like he outkicked his coverage and his girlfriend's way hotter or fiancé or whatever is way hotter than what he thinks he's worthy of.

Speaker 1 Any guy could be a threat. And like that's exhausting.
So no, why would she tell you? And it was, it was inconsequential. He walked away, went back to the bar, done.

Speaker 1 The friend only brought it up because she found it funny. Like

Speaker 1 and it was such an odd pickup line, but it wasn't meant to be this like big ordeal.

Speaker 2 I'm also the same, like

Speaker 2 regardless of even if I felt like in her position, if she felt like she was right, she thinks his reaction is wrong.

Speaker 2 I'm also the person in the relationship to be like, I personally didn't think so at the time. And I did not mean for it to come across that way at all.

Speaker 2 If you think that that crossed the line or came across a certain way, I will never do that again. And I'm sorry that I upset you for that.
And I will handle it differently moving forward. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Regardless, I could be like, you know what, I didn't think it was that bad, but it made my partner feel that way. And I would never want them to feel that again.

Speaker 2 Or I'd be like, just ask for more money next time, baby, and just split it with me.

Speaker 2 Yeah, right? A thousand bucks. A hundred dollars.

Speaker 1 There's the angel and the devil on the shoulders, right?

Speaker 2 It's the two of you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think that would be a really healthy response, especially like they're getting married. Yeah.
This is going to be something that is going to continue to happen.

Speaker 1 I mean, she said it happens three to five times a night when they go out.

Speaker 2 That's why he should just lock her in the room and never let her leave and go out. I think you just avoid it at all costs, right?

Speaker 2 I think that's the best approach. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I think I'm so one to just communicate it out and be like, let's avoid this and never have this happen again.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So the top comment, I liked your wording here. Internal polite response clock has run out.

Speaker 1 And that is like a good point too. Like when you're telling someone like, no, not interested, and they don't take no for an answer.

Speaker 1 You have your friend advocating for you, probably saying, no, she's, she's engaged or whatever it is. Like they're not taking the hint.
It's like, okay, at that point, like, fuck it.

Speaker 2 Let's go. Let's go nuclear.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 My fuck budget just hit zero, baby.

Speaker 1 There's a bunch of other comments, people kind of being like, well, you didn't have to handle it that way. It was immature.
So OP does give us some edits. Okay, y'all.
y'all, goodness.

Speaker 1 Just want to add in two things because they're being mentioned a lot. First, my fiancé is a great dude.
He is smart and fun and supportive in a million different ways.

Speaker 1 He is self-aware and he knows he's a bit anxious and struggles with insecurity. He's working on it.
At the same time, I do have empathy about the discomfort of seeing your partner get hit on a bunch.

Speaker 1 It also makes me uncomfortable for the record. Second, and I've discussed this with my fiancé and he has expressed no issues with it.

Speaker 1 I don't know and I never have used my relationship status to reject men. If I say no, that's enough of an answer.

Speaker 1 And if they don't respect that on its own without my tie to another man, that's a problem. Also, I'm clearly wearing an engagement ring.

Speaker 1 If a guy approaches me, they either didn't care to look or saw and didn't give a hoot.

Speaker 1 And I do get her point. Like, it is frustrating to have to be like, oh, well, I have a boyfriend.

Speaker 1 And it's like, a guy will respect that more so than just a no, like almost like the the territory like I'm not gonna step on another guy's territory

Speaker 2 But then again, a lot of guys are like

Speaker 2 Just because there's a goalie doesn't mean you can't like that type of there's some of those out there for sure

Speaker 2 Or it might like encourage them more to think that like

Speaker 2 I Don't know people people are weird, um, but yeah, I get the whole fact like just no means no regardless of being like also sometimes I feel like uh the relationship thing could be like a cop-out answer, which a lot of people use, I feel.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, there's, girls, like, it's a big thing now to wear engagement rings out to the bar to like have an excuse to be just like, I'm engaged, even though they're not, they're actually single.

Speaker 2 As soon as they see a guy she they like, they go,

Speaker 1 Whoop, take it off.

Speaker 2 It's good tactic. That would sound bad too.
Imagine you're looking at a girl all now, you're like, Oh, she's married, and then she takes her off.

Speaker 2 Literally, goes to walk, talk to you, and I'm like, What?

Speaker 1 This happened to a friend of mine. She was at Runyon and like ran into this guy and she was wearing like a graduation ring from her dad on her ring finger.

Speaker 1 And the guy kept like looking at her and her hands. And like, they really had this crazy chemistry on the hiking trail.
And she ran in him again. Like, he didn't ask for her number that day.

Speaker 1 She ran into him again a week or two later. And he was like, Hey, I noticed you're not wearing that ring today.
Like, I was going to hit on you last time, but noticed you had an engagement ring.

Speaker 1 She's like, oh my God, is that why you didn't ask me? So she almost blew her shot. Wow.
Yeah. Like, what are the odds you run into the same person twice at Runyan?

Speaker 2 Like, it was crazy. Runyan is, I don't understand.
How is he, is he following her? Like, how, how is, how is he?

Speaker 1 Happenstance.

Speaker 2 I go to Runyon all the time. You're not really next to anybody the whole time.

Speaker 2 You're pretty. You either walk past them.

Speaker 2 You're not making yourself. Nobody wants to be hit on fucking while they're hiking.
It's like the last. Honestly.
At Runyon. Yeah.
I feel like.

Speaker 2 It doesn't seem like it.

Speaker 1 I feel like girls go to Runyon and they pop off. Like that is.

Speaker 2 To me, it's like the gym. It's like nobody wants to be bothered at the gym.
runyon's a different thing especially if you have a dog like it's more of a dog it's a place to like meet people yeah

Speaker 2 okay yeah i take that back i mean i've seen like uh one of my other friends met oprah at runyon no and she like commented on her dog and then they got a pick it was a crazy and now they're married yeah her and oprah did she give her a car no god she should have that'd be one hell of a look really should have no you guys should go to runyon

Speaker 1 oprah's giving out cars at runyon oh my god that might be a good strategy though to get some good press for the pod kind of cool but i do see her point back to this before we move on i do see her point where like a no from you should be enough but hey you got the ring use it to your advantage you have to talk less less fucks to give sorry i'm engaged yeah like i get the principle of what you're doing and if you really don't want to share your relationship status you do you but it is a lot quicker it is and you get rid of them faster especially i think engaged is a per is like the best one.

Speaker 2 I think engaged is stronger than married and boyfriend and girlfriend. Really? Yeah, because engaged is it's fresh.
It's new.

Speaker 2 I'm excited. Leave me alone.
I know. Because married, it's like, you've been married for how long? Maybe you're kind of sick of the relationship.
Maybe I do have a chance.

Speaker 1 Interesting. That is so interesting.
And I completely could see it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 My fiancé, he's like, I don't want to get married. being able to say fiancé just sounds so cool.

Speaker 1 Like he does want to get married, but just like he loves the label fiancé versus, oh my wife but i also feel like a little embarrassed saying it sometimes really

Speaker 1 it's like does it feel braggy a little bit

Speaker 2 sometimes it comes i feel the same i'm like i'm sorry i'm not trying to show off yeah it's almost like a okay like i feel like every time i've used it it's been like not in an unnecessary way but it's just like a detail that's like too much towards like okay like we got it this episode of two out takes is brought to you by Wayfair.

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Speaker 1 Okay, moving along. This next one is coming from Am I the Asshole? It's a doozy of a title.

Speaker 1 Am I the asshole for being truthful with my friends when telling them I won't go on a weekend away because I don't want to talk about marriage slash babies for three days?

Speaker 2 To me, already, I don't think I'm going.

Speaker 2 It's almost like you don't want to be like a third wheel. It really depends on the people.
You know what I mean? I got to, I got to see how they are with their kids.

Speaker 2 I just want to, I want to feel the vibe. There's a whole vibe, right? Definitely.
Because there's some nasty, nasty kids out there, and there's times where I would not want to be on a trip with them.

Speaker 2 So it all depends. Titan, you know? Hit a baby.

Speaker 1 I, 27 female, have a group of friends, eight of us, and we have been friends for over a decade since school.

Speaker 1 Now we don't live in the same place, but we meet up a couple times a year for a weekend in an Airbnb. This used to be a weekend of good food, drinks, hot tubs, etc.

Speaker 1 I am content with my life at the moment. I am single, dating, and I don't know if I would like children.
But in the event I did, I know I wouldn't want one soon.

Speaker 1 Around five of my friends, five out of the eight, are either married or in very long-term relationships. Of these five, two either have a baby or are pregnant.

Speaker 1 I will be seeing all of my friends this year for various weddings, friend/slash baby events. I have been invited on this year's girls' trip.
I have said I can't come.

Speaker 1 I didn't originally provide a reason. When queried in person by my friend who is pregnant, I told her the truth.

Speaker 1 I'm not going because it's a massive financial expense for three days where we only talk about people's upcoming engagements, weddings, babies.

Speaker 1 I have a lot going on, but I feel a lot of my friends do not show an interest unless I talk about someone I'm dating.

Speaker 1 I also, last time, listened to one of my friends talk about her breastfeeding plans with vengeance for over an hour. She is not pregnant or even trying.

Speaker 1 Truthfully, it's boring and it feels dismissive. It's also a really expensive way to feel bad about myself.

Speaker 1 I made it clear when telling my friends this that I'm thrilled for them all living the lives they want, but maybe it's not the weekend for me at the moment.

Speaker 1 Meaning, it feels like the group has two distinct life stages. I'm in the minority and it focuses on one stage.

Speaker 1 My friend has since told me she's really hurt and I'm not excited for her or our other friends.

Speaker 1 I responded saying I evidently was from other actions excited for them, but I just think this trip wasn't for me.

Speaker 1 I do have numerous other things going on and to fit this in both my calendar and financially, it's a struggle.

Speaker 1 I just want to add for this friend specifically, I have gone on three weekends away for her wedding and I'm flying to go to her baby shower. all in the last two years.

Speaker 1 I have not asked her, nor has she wanted to fly to see me for anything in the last two years.

Speaker 1 So my question is, am I the asshole for being truthful with the reason why I can't go?

Speaker 2 No,

Speaker 2 no, absolutely not. No.
No, especially now that like it's been kind of like a one, one-sided relationship.

Speaker 2 I mean, I think she's doing the best for herself. And if I was in her position, I probably wouldn't go either.
Because

Speaker 2 I'm kind of like in her position right now. And if all, if I knew that all my friends, that's all they were going to talk about, if I knew that,

Speaker 2 I probably wouldn't either, just for my own like mental health. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I'd just be like, maybe next time. Yeah.
I get it. I mean, trips like that obviously are a lot of money to like, you know, you use your time off or whatever to go do these trips.
And

Speaker 2 I mean, I totally get her. You don't have to.
I feel like people feel like they have to do things like that they don't really want to do. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Just to make other people happy. And it's okay to say no to things.
It's okay to do what you want, yeah.

Speaker 2 Don't go on the trip, save the money if they want to come out and see you, come out and see you.

Speaker 2 And yeah, I've been learning to say no a lot lately.

Speaker 2 I would say, in the past year, I've if even like a sliver of no, like 10% no, I'm just like, you know what, I'm gonna pass on this, yeah, unless I'm feeling unless I'm not feeling a hundred for it, not about it, yeah, God.

Speaker 1 I feel so honored you're here today now.

Speaker 2 Wow, you want me to tell you the truth? You almost canceled. No, no, no, no, if your ass was in in like Culver City, I don't know.
No.

Speaker 1 No, it's the location.

Speaker 2 We're close. We're neighbors.
No.

Speaker 2 Location is everything. I would say yes to everything if it was in my neighborhood.
In your backyard. Yeah,

Speaker 1 I get that. Like, especially L.A., getting across town, it's hard.

Speaker 1 I initially read this and I was like, okay, well, you know.

Speaker 1 Two out of the eight are pregnant or have a kid. Like, that's not, there's still six other people that are kind of in your boats, no kids.

Speaker 1 But then, like, hearing how much effort our OP has put into traveling for weddings and baby showers, like she traveled three weekends and is now traveling for a baby shower for this one friend, yeah, yeah, that's insane.

Speaker 1 And I think it is pretty common in friend groups, and it's now starting to be talked about.

Speaker 1 If you're the single friend and all of your friends are kind of in other stages, as you, you're getting them wedding gifts, you're flying, you're buying your bridesmaid's dress, you're getting them baby shower gifts.

Speaker 1 Where's the single friend getting accommodated for moving into their own apartment or getting a new job? Like, you don't have those

Speaker 1 typically normal things to celebrate your single friend. Yeah.
And so it's like, it's always the single friends dishing out money for these people for like normal life events.

Speaker 1 That's a really good way to think about it.

Speaker 2 I never thought of about it like that from a singles

Speaker 2 perspective.

Speaker 1 It would be frustrating. It would be really frustrating.
And I don't blame her. It's

Speaker 2 let's celebrate the single people. Yeah.
I just don't know what, how do we celebrate them?

Speaker 2 Three years of not having a boyfriend, girlfriend? Like, okay. Oops.
Like, you are, like, you're powerful. You are, you are independent.
Where's my independence party? Yeah. You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 Zane, let's throw you in the middle of the day.

Speaker 2 July 4th.

Speaker 1 I was going to say July 4th.

Speaker 2 July 4th, celebrate all the single people. Independence Day.
Independence Day. For America.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And our single friends out there.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Very good.
I love that. Let's make something for you.

Speaker 2 How do we start that?

Speaker 1 You heard it here, guys. You heard it here.
Independence Day.

Speaker 2 Let's start next month. Any of your single friends who have not been dating for more than a year and their year is about to hit next month, do a big ass celebration.

Speaker 2 It would mean so much to them. And then

Speaker 2 they'll start buying all those tickets and flights and all that bullshit to all your weddings. And yeah.

Speaker 1 Then there's some give and take, but there hasn't been give and take. And like hearing about one person talk about breastfeeding for an hour when they're not even pregnant or trying.

Speaker 1 Oh, haven't you been in one of those conversations where you're with your friend and you're like, I just can we move on?

Speaker 2 We really got that's all they know, it's all they know what to talk about.

Speaker 1 But it's hard when you're in those conversations that it's just like, okay, this is really like not relatable, it's not going anywhere, we're talking in circles, yeah, right, and you don't want to be rude, but at the same time, like, okay, we get it, especially when there's alcohol involved and like you really just you're just talking.

Speaker 2 Why are you talking about breastfeeding and titty milk while you're drunk? Is I feel like that's the last thing you're thinking about, like feeding your baby when you're drunk.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's probably, it's probably not a good mix. Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, you got a lot of people pump and dump, but apparently you don't, you don't necessarily have to anymore. What's

Speaker 2 pump and dump is when it's from nip to mouth, or is it from nip to bottle? Um, you pump it into a bottle, yeah, okay, or like whatever the

Speaker 1 storage units that the breast pumps have, like attached. But a lot of people, after they have a lot of alcohol in their system, they have to pump to like cleanse it so the baby doesn't get drunk.

Speaker 1 So they say.

Speaker 2 I'm not, I don't know. I don't have kids.
I haven't gone there. This is why they talk about it for an hour because there's so much you can do.
I had no idea.

Speaker 1 I mean, it is interesting, but I get the frustration. I was a little scared where the comments were going to go, though.
What do you think the vote is on this one?

Speaker 2 So I think it's going to be

Speaker 2 a majority in favor of this girl needs to do what she feels right.

Speaker 2 Especially when it's so exhausting, when you feel like you go above and beyond for everybody else and it's not reciprocated, you get tired of it and you're like, I feel like all I do is give and give and give.

Speaker 2 And when you don't see it in return, you're like, kind of at your breaking point. Yeah.
Can I say something? It's also really easy to see it from their person from their point of view too.

Speaker 2 I've noticed that we're always agreeing with the person writing it, but who knows

Speaker 2 what's going on on the other end of the

Speaker 2 stories. Yeah.
Well, I know that's the whole point.

Speaker 1 No, no, no. And I could see like, because when I first read it, I didn't get all the way through because I was just like initial scan to to make sure it's at least decent enough for an episode.

Speaker 1 And I, so I stopped reading after. I was like, okay, it's good enough.

Speaker 1 And initially, I was like, well, that's kind of, it's kind of selfish because like, in a sense, like, yeah, you're just not at the same stage as them, but like, you're also almost in a sense, like not being as good of a friend by like just not going because you don't want to hear them talk about their kid.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Like, they do have kids now.
How can you all come together to make it a balance?

Speaker 1 You're not even giving them the opportunity to like address address it and be like, hey, I don't have kids. I feel like the past trips have been very engagement, wedding, kids-centered.

Speaker 1 Can we make this more fun? Can we like kind of have a rule where we keep that tone down?

Speaker 2 Yeah, but you also don't want to be the person that is like, guys are not going to talk about kids. They're not going to, it's annoying.

Speaker 2 If you feel like you're going to be annoyed and it's best for you to sit it out, then sit it out. Yeah.
Because that does start fights.

Speaker 2 Like as soon as you have a thought like that, where, hey, can we do this trip like a little fun? Oh, the last one wasn't fun. True.
Oh, I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 last one wasn't up to your standard we all had fun sounds like you're the only odd man maybe you're the problem i'm sorry that this is part of my life right now and i have kids and i'm excited to talk about it you're so right yeah you can't it's so exhausting what like we will get in fights over with people like you just have to surround yourselves around people that's like similar to you like your interests and i mean that's the only way and you have to do it without like starting any fights

Speaker 1 God, it's so hard.

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 2 I feel like that's why so many friendships end, like, especially in that, like, that time of the life when people are getting married and shit, is because you're not, you can't, like, relate anymore to what your friends are.

Speaker 2 Yeah, like Zane doesn't want to be friends with me anymore because we're engaged now and we're going to be getting married and moving to Tennessee. And, uh, where in Tennessee, Nashville?

Speaker 2 Uh, so we're going to be like just outside of uh Chattanooga. Chattanooga, whatever the that place is.
He's going to be in the middle of nowhere.

Speaker 1 That is a little far. Nashville, I love Nashville.
I can live there, but Chattanooga.

Speaker 2 It's like two hours or so from Nashville. Wi-Fi doesn't exist.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're not. That's far.

Speaker 2 I don't know how how he's going to post his Instagram stories out there and his content. They got coffee shops with Wi-Fi

Speaker 2 and an internet cafe. I know, but you're not going to need it if you have kids.
Do you need kids? You don't need Wi-Fi when you have kids, right?

Speaker 2 I don't know. It depends on if you want an iPad baby or not.
Start over. Oh, I love iPad babies.
Get them a shirt. Put them in a corner.

Speaker 2 Look at that screen.

Speaker 1 Creating a monster.

Speaker 2 No, I can't stand that stuff. You know who are iPad babies?

Speaker 2 All of us. I didn't have iPad.
No, right now. Oh, yeah.
We're iPad babies.

Speaker 2 babies yeah i do feel a little that we're we're stunted we're ipad kids yeah ipad 100 the time i saw it on my phone i checked though that it's like um it was like 36 hours

Speaker 2 screen time in what in one day in one week oh my god in one week 36 hours

Speaker 2 that's pretty intense yeah that's that's borderline full-time

Speaker 2 that is yeah yeah a 40-hour work week wow it's crazy but we work from our phones we do a little bit of an excuse i know we're not working when we go through tick tock We're not working.

Speaker 2 We're pulling inspiration.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, I'm doing research.

Speaker 1 So, top comment on this one: not the asshole, because the real issue here is different from how it seems. On the surface, this seems like it's just about engagements, weddings, and babies.

Speaker 1 You go out of your way to be constantly supportive of them. However, they don't reciprocate that for you.
They can't relate to anything or want to relate to anything outside of their lives.

Speaker 1 It would sort of be like if you had just won an award, but all they talked about was the pie they just ate that morning. OP responds, maybe.

Speaker 1 I spent 13 weekends last year traveling, including transport and hotels for this group's big events, and I am happy for them.

Speaker 1 That said, it's a massive financial outlay I am expected to attend, and they are not interested in mine.

Speaker 1 They were all invited to my birthday recently and said they were too busy from work/slash had plans with partners. Too busy being married

Speaker 1 to come to the city for a night, even though accommodation was free. That's really.
That's crazy. We needed that context in the original post.
Like, easy off the bat. No conversation needed.

Speaker 1 Not the asshole.

Speaker 1 13 weekends? There's only 52 weeks a year. That's a lot.

Speaker 2 That's what?

Speaker 1 Math-wise?

Speaker 2 I don't know, math.

Speaker 1 25%?

Speaker 2 I can't wait. That's a lot.
I want the bride and groom to start having to pay. for everybody's shit if they want them to go on this fucking expensive ass trip.

Speaker 1 Dude, I think got that shit's gotten crazy.

Speaker 2 Also, weddings are absurdly expensive.

Speaker 1 That's why I'm doing it on my farm.

Speaker 2 I'm just like

Speaker 1 saving on the venue at least, and we're just having food trucks. Yeah, but I think that shit has gotten crazy.
Like, you should not have to go to four events for one couple getting married.

Speaker 1 No, an engagement party, a bridal shower, a bachelor or bachelorette trip, and then the actual wedding.

Speaker 2 Don't forget the fuck, no, the uh

Speaker 2 reception, or not the reception, the uh rehearsal dinner before, and all that, and all that risk for a 60% divorce rate? Come on now.

Speaker 2 All that for a 60% divorce rate. That's like, if you look at it from a business perspective, it's not very smart.
The risk is way too high to be spending all this money for one night.

Speaker 1 Put that money in some stocks.

Speaker 2 Exactly. Get a house.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Robin Hood.

Speaker 2 That's it.

Speaker 2 These weddings are houses. Like full houses.

Speaker 1 Some people really go crazy. There was one that went super viral on TikTok for a while, and it turns out she spent like $4 million for her wedding in Paris.

Speaker 1 And then her fiancé is like getting a felony in Texas, and he wasn't even supposed to go to Paris.

Speaker 2 No way. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 And then she took down all the wedding videos. It was crazy TikTok drama.
Oof.

Speaker 2 And they didn't have the money to bail him out because they just spent $4 million on that wedding. That's absurd.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So ROP does provide us a little bit of an update here.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 1 Thank you all for the responses and comments. Just a few things to note in response to some of the general themes of response.

Speaker 1 I do show an interest in their weddings, engagements, babies, and baby plans. I am excited for them.
I text about it. I ask for updates.
I go to and help plan events for these things.

Speaker 1 My issue is three days of talking about this like it's the only topic of substance is not fun, especially when I don't feel an interest is reciprocated to me on my life.

Speaker 1 We don't need anything else. And there's still three more bullet points.

Speaker 2 It's easy to show interest back when they're showing interest in anything that you have going on in your, you know, in your single life. You know what what I mean?

Speaker 2 If, if they show interest in anything they say, it's just easier to like, you'll probably want to stop talking about yourself because they're doing such a good job in showing interest in what you have to say, where you just like, you know, I'm going to focus on them the rest of the time.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 So it's definitely no reciprocation for sure. No.

Speaker 1 And that's just, oh, feels so terrible. And point number two, this is where it gets juicy.
I have spoken to one of my other friends invited on the trip who is also not at the baby stage of life.

Speaker 1 She is also not going on the trip and she said she is not attending for the same reason.

Speaker 2 Feels good when you have it back up. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Three, the friend I expressed this to has apologized for her initial reaction and is still trying to convince me to come. I am not going to go, but I'm hoping she at least considers what I've shared.

Speaker 1 Four, I do have other friends in the city I live in, and they are a joy to be in the company of. Maybe this is because we became friends as adults and have more similar lifestyles.
Who knows?

Speaker 1 Finally, some comments about me being jealous, hating myself, hating my life, etc. To confirm, dear strangers on the internet, I am content.
Thank you for the concern, though.

Speaker 1 Whoever said that was fucking nuts, first of all, she's 27. She's being single at 27 is like, that's normal.

Speaker 2 That's normal, yeah.

Speaker 2 Like, yeah, I think, uh, I think the whole approach to it and reasoning, I mean, if you're going into it, just being like, I just don't want to hear what you guys have to talk about because that's what stage you're at at life.

Speaker 2 And like, if that was the only reason, I'd be like, ah, well, I mean, they're your friends, just

Speaker 2 hear them out, just listen, and just be excited, whatever.

Speaker 2 But everything else on top of that, I think, should be what's driving this argument.

Speaker 1 Yeah, she just wants to have a good time. And if you already know you're not going to have a good time, you're essentially spending a lot of money to have a bad time.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 What, where does that math add up? It doesn't. Save that money.
Save that money. So pay for my flight then.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You guys, you married people. You got dual income.

Speaker 1 Let's do a fund.

Speaker 2 How bad do you want me to be there?

Speaker 1 Yeah, pay for my ticket. I'm flying four times in the past two years for you and your wedding and babies.

Speaker 2 Make this make sense. Where's my presentation? For me, Ashley.
Yeah. I wonder if any of these girls ever see these Reddit.
I was just thinking about that a couple minutes ago. Yes.
They do? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I've done a whole theme where we have like two sides and like the husband writes in bitching about the wife and then the wife finds it and shares her side.

Speaker 2 And it's the most fun. It's so good.

Speaker 1 Do you think they're like still fighting to this day after or like it's more some laugh about it depending on the problem some some are like my husband's an idiot ha ha okay but some i think are like found it we're done oh

Speaker 2 wow yeah or do you see him like comment under op and be like hi it's your wife sarah here yeah we get that too dang reddit i would be below be like what are you looking up babe like you got it you just got to be as broad as possible so people cannot pick it apart yep fake names details change always yeah

Speaker 2 instead of three friends, say six friends. You know, just you gotta change it all.
Interesting, Ashley. This story sounds a lot like what we were just talking about.

Speaker 1 Well, this next one, it would be pretty unfortunate if the other party found it.

Speaker 2 Uh-oh. Which one? The one you're about to say right now? The one I'm about to read.
I'm so excited. Let's hear it.

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Speaker 1 So this one is coming from R/Today I Fucked Up. It's titled, Today I Fucked Up, telling my boyfriend that I used to almost vomit while giving him a blowjob because of his odor.

Speaker 2 That's pretty bad and he should not

Speaker 2 should not be upset about that that is that is hygiene my dude I feel so bad

Speaker 2 I'm a stinky boy yeah

Speaker 2 there's ways to go about things man for her or for him for for both parties he can I mean he could fucking he could at least clean down there I mean

Speaker 2 stanking like that that it's as simple as being like hey baby by the way your dick stinks like could you could you shower real quick I'm I'm fine with doing this, but like,

Speaker 2 you see, you're a little bit sweaty and stinky right now.

Speaker 2 She probably did.

Speaker 1 We're going to tell you right now.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, she's going to tell us, Heath, okay.

Speaker 1 I feel so bad, but it's also sort of on him. For most of our relationship, my boyfriend has had a strong odor in his crotch area.
The type most women would refuse to go down on.

Speaker 1 Fish, smegma, that type of smell.

Speaker 2 Whoa.

Speaker 1 I still go down on him because I do love giving blowjobs. And I know it's not because he flat out doesn't wash himself.
I know he takes showers regularly.

Speaker 1 I will have him take a shower before I go down on him, like directly before. And it will still smell foul down there.

Speaker 2 Interesting.

Speaker 1 I have no idea how that's possible, but I attune his smell to be because he is very overweight. I have dropped so many hints, y'all.

Speaker 1 And I told him flat out to take a shower before sex because I don't like the smell. I've even washed his crotch for him when we take pre-sex showers.
All of this I have said gently.

Speaker 1 Milk? Are you milking him?

Speaker 2 No, like a towel on each end and just fucking

Speaker 2 like a hacksaw. What is it?

Speaker 2 Yep. The hacksaw.

Speaker 1 But it has been a bit better lately. This morning in bed, I sniffed his hand and jokingly gagged and asked if he had been scratching his nuts, which I can always smell on his hands.

Speaker 2 Yuck, I know.

Speaker 1 And he laughed and said yes. After a few seconds, I said, We've been dating for a while, and you know, I like to be honest with you.

Speaker 1 And proceeded to tell him that I used to hold my breath during blowjobs because when I'd breathe, I'd be close to throwing up.

Speaker 2 He thinks he's making her choke and gag.

Speaker 1 Oh my God.

Speaker 2 Okay, I mean, this doesn't seem like a shock. It sounds like she's multiple times have told him that you stink.
So that's not like that big of a secret that she was just holding her breath.

Speaker 2 Yeah, no shit. You think she was breathing it in just as

Speaker 1 I'm so, I'm a little nervous.

Speaker 2 Okay, so Matt, all right, Matt was telling me how there's a, there's a, there's a thing, there's a disease that you can have where you smell like fish.

Speaker 2 And you, it doesn't matter how hard you scrub with soap. I forget the name of it.
I don't think that's there specifically. I think that's your whole body.
But what if, what if that's the start?

Speaker 2 It starts in his tank.

Speaker 1 I know what you're thinking. Stop giving him head.
What the fuck? I know, I know. It was just so hard for me to take the final step in letting him know how bad it was by refusing to go down on him.

Speaker 1 If I simply said I didn't want to give him head, he'd understand and never pressure me, but I still didn't want to hurt his feelings. Don't roast me too hard, please.

Speaker 1 Anyways, he knew he smelled bad, but thought the showers helped completely. He has left the room due to hurt feelings.

Speaker 2 Now I feel like an asshole, LOL.

Speaker 2 I mean,

Speaker 1 this sounds like a medical issue to me.

Speaker 2 It does.

Speaker 2 I think the best route for both of them to go is for her, is just because it's like a, you know, they're a couple and it could be nice, but they could both go to the doctor and just try to figure out what it is.

Speaker 2 There's got to be some sort of like pH balance wipe for you guys or something.

Speaker 1 That's what I'm wondering. If it's a pH issue or like, honestly, maybe he has an untreated STI

Speaker 1 because like smegma, like for those that don't really know what smegma is.

Speaker 1 It is a thick, cheesy-looking secretion around your genitals that collects when you don't wash them regularly. It can be white or yellow.

Speaker 1 It's a combination of oils from your sebaceous glands, dead skin, and cells. So, if he's got smegma,

Speaker 2 I think it's a hygiene problem. It's I can smell it.
Stop. I can smell it.
A little bit of both.

Speaker 1 Like, it feels like it's both because she's even saying he's doing showers right before sex, daily showers, and he still smells.

Speaker 2 It could be, I know it's an imbalance of something. And I'm sure it's like...

Speaker 1 It could be diet too. Or diet.
Yeah. And like, granted, she does mention fatty, nasty food.
It could just be a lot of fried, yeah, oily stuff.

Speaker 1 Because like, I had dairy last night and like I can feel it. Like, I just like, I don't do dairy ever.
And I just feel terrible today.

Speaker 2 There are certain foods where like I will, like, my fing, like my hands will smell after showering, wash my, it's just certain onions.

Speaker 2 Certain foods you just have to avoid because it just your body doesn't, it just,

Speaker 2 it makes a seep out of your skin and you just can't.

Speaker 1 Well, it's like the meat sweats too. If you have like a lot of a lot of meat and like you, oh, I would love to hear like what he's eating every day.

Speaker 2 Like just like, is he eating a lot of meat, a lot of

Speaker 2 garlic? Is he eating a lot of fish? Like, who knows? What if he's very curious? What if he's like his favorite thing to eat is just fucking fish, breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Who knows?

Speaker 1 I'm curious. The only edit or update we have on the original post is OP does share that he is circumcised, which does help with the smegma because I know for some people

Speaker 1 that are not circumcised, if they're not taught to pull back the skin and wash, when it does pull back,

Speaker 1 it looks like cottage cheese.

Speaker 2 I'm so sorry, everyone.

Speaker 2 We have a couple friends with that type of penis.

Speaker 1 Hopefully, they know how to wash properly.

Speaker 2 I don't know. You'd be surprised.

Speaker 1 I'm not seeing seeing a lot of comments on this one. I think, like, unfortunately, this might not be the best relationship for OP.

Speaker 2 Well, if she keeps smelling fucking smegma every time she goes down. It's tough.

Speaker 1 It's like there's clearly something going on.

Speaker 2 Especially if he's washing. Yeah, it's something.
It seems like it's getting to the point for her where she's like not even attracted to him anymore because of this issue.

Speaker 2 And it's just pushing them apart. And

Speaker 2 yeah you know i mean yeah at that point you make the decision i wonder if she he smells up here or is it just down there

Speaker 1 it's got to be wasp wasting wafting up there yeah it would have to well the other problem is do you know like there's this stat where on average you touch like 10 dicks a day from people not washing their hands no way yeah so if you like touch a doorknob of like a house or a bathroom, like you probably just touched a dick from someone not washing their hands.

Speaker 1 And so like she literally he was smelling his hands or she got a whiff of his hands and it smelled like his crotch it's like you're rubbing your nuts and then you don't wash your hands like

Speaker 1 dudes dudes going to the bathroom and having that mindset of like well I just touched myself disgusting wash your hands you dirty dirty piece dirty pig

Speaker 2 but but you know what I like to do I like to wash my hands before I touch my piece. You should do both.

Speaker 1 I feel like it should be a sandwich for guys, to be honest.

Speaker 1 Because what if you just had hot sauce and then you're going to touch your dick and you get hot sauce on that?

Speaker 1 I've accidentally maced myself twice or three times. Maced twice, Tabasco sauce in the eyes once.
Yeah. Not good.
So your urethra

Speaker 2 would not like that at all. Oh, like you have like a mace on your keychain that kind of like went off a little bit.

Speaker 1 I was testing it one time, maybe twice, and then the wind took it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we did that with bear spray. Oh, we were going on a hiking trip and I wanted to see if it worked.
It works. It catches the wind

Speaker 2 quick.

Speaker 1 You don't think so? And it shoots so far.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, man.

Speaker 2 It's intense. It's really intense.

Speaker 2 Oh, once the wind takes it, it'll just like go everywhere like a swarm.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it shoots out in like a straight run,

Speaker 2 but

Speaker 2 just those particles just being around it, it'll like choke you up and you just start gagging.

Speaker 1 It's really bad.

Speaker 2 Oh, it's so just terrible.

Speaker 1 No one should go through that unless they deserve it.

Speaker 2 We should do that. We should never

Speaker 2 go through it unless they deserve it.

Speaker 1 Bad people.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I agree.

Speaker 1 I'm not seeing comments about diet really.

Speaker 1 There is kind of one like that mentions the smell is off and on. It depends on what he's eaten and what he's done at work.

Speaker 1 It's not a deal breaker because it's not as if he's neglectful towards his hygiene.

Speaker 2 So I don't know. Doctor.
Yeah. Doctor,

Speaker 1 I would say this is definitely a medical thing that needs to be evaluated. And you could try like flavored lube or like things that are very like scented.

Speaker 2 Like I love coconut oil.

Speaker 1 And I feel like it's like a two birds, one stone. You use coconut oil, makes the hand movements feel gliding.

Speaker 1 And you also get to whiten your teeth at the same time because coconut oil whitens your teeth.

Speaker 2 It's edible. Oh, nice.
Oh, wow. I didn't know that.
Or maybe a little bit of Summer's Eve vaginal spray. I mean, I'm sure it'll work for dudes too.
I don't know, but I don't know. I don't know.

Speaker 2 Isn't that just a perfume?

Speaker 1 I feel like I'm really nervous to try that type of stuff because I feel like that really messes with your pH.

Speaker 2 Ooh. Coconut oil, unrefined,

Speaker 2 virgin. Oh, don't listen.
Don't listen to me, guys.

Speaker 1 It's the best lube you will ever use.

Speaker 2 Ever. Okay.
Ever.

Speaker 1 Huh. Yeah, you guys, you go home.
You test it out.

Speaker 2 Let's try it out later

Speaker 2 stuff, too, right?

Speaker 1 It's so versatile. Wow.
You can do oil pulling with it. You take a spoonful in the morning.

Speaker 2 What is that?

Speaker 2 It's so good. It doesn't seem right.

Speaker 1 It does whiten the fuck out of your teeth.

Speaker 2 Really? But doesn't it destroy like your gums?

Speaker 1 It's actually supposed to be really good for your gums.

Speaker 2 How do you do it again?

Speaker 1 You take a spoonful of it, like a small little spoonful, and put it in your mouth, swish it around for what you can tolerate.

Speaker 2 They say about 20 minutes.

Speaker 1 No. Once you put it in your mouth, it heats up and just becomes a liquid.

Speaker 2 Got it. It's

Speaker 2 good. You're swishing around for 20 minutes.

Speaker 1 So do it first thing in the morning, like when you wake up as you're like scrolling on your phone before you really get out of bed or get moving. And it flies by.

Speaker 2 How long are you doing it? Or not how long, but how many times a week are you doing that?

Speaker 1 A lot of people do it daily.

Speaker 2 20 minutes daily? Yeah.

Speaker 2 That's insane.

Speaker 1 But you're doing other stuff. Like, do it as you're like, you know, bopping around your house, making breakfast.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but you can't open your mouth.

Speaker 2 The coconut oil is in your mouth.

Speaker 1 Can you not breathe out of your nose?

Speaker 2 No, I have DVDs.

Speaker 1 What about a nose job?

Speaker 2 I could.

Speaker 1 How do you like? I'm a nose breather through and through. Yeah.
So when I get a cold and not being able to breathe out of my nose.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's what it's like all the time. I have a mental breakdown.

Speaker 1 Like, I can't, I can't stand it. It's horrible.

Speaker 2 You feel like you're like, um,

Speaker 2 it's like being claustrophobic in your own face. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I've never had anyone describe it like that. And that is exactly what it feels like.

Speaker 2 It's very uncomfortable.

Speaker 1 Have you tried like holding your nostrils open to stimulate what it would feel like?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'll do this.

Speaker 1 Does it really work?

Speaker 2 Yeah. Oh my gosh.
Or no, you do this too. This is really good.

Speaker 2 This is really good. This right here, like.

Speaker 1 pressing on your sinuses.

Speaker 2 It's crazy that people can breathe like that all the time. This is so.

Speaker 1 Do you have a deviated symptom too?

Speaker 2 I don't know if I do, but I can't breathe out of my nose. It's very difficult.

Speaker 1 You probably do. And you guys have great noses.
It's not like you need it aesthetically like a nose job. And like, no one does.
Noses, everyone's nose is beautiful.

Speaker 1 But you should look into just getting the internal stuff. Like, imagine what it would feel like to breathe every day.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Oh, imagine you get a deviated symptom, but then also you get a better nose too.

Speaker 2 Your nose is really good.

Speaker 1 Thank you. Yeah, I wouldn't touch the nose.

Speaker 2 I won't. I definitely won't.

Speaker 1 Just go inside. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Back to this one. Before we move along, top comment: he needs to go see a doctor.
It's not normal to have that kind of smell after washing. This honestly sounds like a yeast infection.

Speaker 2 Yes, men can have those too.

Speaker 1 Actually, one of the risk factors for yeast infections is being overweight.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 1 And diabetes can be a factor as well, someone shares.

Speaker 2 So is that like, is that coming from his peach or more of his taint? Like that, that, like, where would you think? Because the yeast infection.

Speaker 1 I would assume urethra.

Speaker 2 It's internal. No, no, for the, for the guys.

Speaker 1 I'm going to Google, where do men get yeast infections? Yeah. I would assume urethra.

Speaker 2 But if he has, if he has segment on his bowels.

Speaker 1 It can cause, yes, men can get yeast infections too, which can lead to a condition known as balantitis, balantitis, inflammation of the head of the penis.

Speaker 1 Yeast infections are men are common because the fungus that causes yeast infections, Candida, is normally present on skin, especially moist skin.

Speaker 2 Oh, baby girl, you suck in on that tip? Ew, that's actually

Speaker 2 horrifying when you think about it.

Speaker 1 Well, now I'm like, does it taste like sourdough bread?

Speaker 2 Maybe.

Speaker 1 Like a yeast starter.

Speaker 2 So it's not yeast. She's probably, it's not salmon she's smelling.
It's yeast.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Oh, she cooking up that dough down there.

Speaker 1 We got to move along before we make everybody sick. I'm so sorry, you guys.

Speaker 2 I'm getting hungry now. Yeah, I want a pizza.
Oh, pizza Friday. It's Tuesday.
Oh, shit. Wow.

Speaker 2 The crazy thing is, I got excited and accepted it. Taco Tuesday.
Taco Tuesday. It is Taco Tuesday.
There you go.

Speaker 1 I know, margarita. How good does that sound?

Speaker 2 And I had a burrito early today, so I celebrated it already. There you go.

Speaker 1 Okay, moving along.

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That's why you rack.

Speaker 1 Okay, this next one. 12 days old.
Titled, My Boyfriend Doesn't Want Me Drinking During the Week. And I mean, a single glass of wine.
So he says.

Speaker 2 Get rid of him.

Speaker 1 Me, 30 female, him, 27 male. I'm going to call him Dave for this post.
I'm not even sure where to start. It was such a great Thursday.

Speaker 1 I got home from work, and Dave and I went shopping and got a few things for dinner: shrimp, salmon, and asparagus.

Speaker 1 One of my favorite meals. What goes well with this meal? A glass of wine.

Speaker 1 When I asked my boyfriend if he could go get a small bottle of my favorite wine so we can have a glass with dinner, he said no. I was sort of thrown off by his response and I asked him why.

Speaker 1 He said, quote, you shouldn't be drinking on a weekday. I said, pardon me? Then his response was, quote, your family are alcoholics and I don't trust your family genes.

Speaker 2 I was livid. Okay, built up? Yeah, no way.

Speaker 1 My dad used to be a heavy drinker, but he no longer is. And even so, how does that have to do with how I am with it? I have never abused alcohol before.

Speaker 1 I haven't even had a glass of wine with dinner for as long as I can remember. I've been living on my own since I was 15.
He's been living with me for about three years.

Speaker 1 I said to him that I'm a grown-ass woman, and if I want a glass of wine with my dinner, I'm more than welcome to do so. And it's not his choice to have a say.

Speaker 1 And honestly, if he doesn't like that, then I feel like maybe he should move back to his dad's. Who gets mad for someone wanting a glass of wine with dinner?

Speaker 1 He ended up getting very angry and stormed off to his dad's house. In the end of all of this, the perfectly cooked dinner was left out and no one had dinner tonight.

Speaker 1 And he will be staying at his dad's now. Am I the asshole?

Speaker 2 Absolutely not.

Speaker 2 A glass of wine is there. There's nothing wrong with a glass of wine.
She's not saying a bottle. It's crazy.
I just can't wait to get the next things because I need to know more.

Speaker 2 I need to know if it's like that was out of the blue. Like, I need details, baby.
You're addicted. I would get out.

Speaker 2 I would get if he had, like, um,

Speaker 2 if he had parents or had a brother that, like, died from alcoholism. Well, it seems like alcoholism runs in the family.
No, not his family, her family.

Speaker 2 But so it's like none of his business to be like telling her what to do. If, if he, if he like felt kind of uneasy about that and he felt uncomfortable, then maybe I would

Speaker 2 sympathize with him, but it sounds like he's just

Speaker 2 yeah, and there had to have been multiple conversations before this. It doesn't out of the blue like that is pretty random.
It's so weird.

Speaker 2 I'm, I feel like I'm good with giving advice and putting in my two cents because I'm always like,

Speaker 2 I don't know. I feel like I don't let things like work me up.
And I always, if it's meant to be, it's meant to be type thing. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 I'd be like, all right, well. Obviously, like, it's not working out.
And if it bothers you, and if it bothers them, then goodbye. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And I feel like that's always my response because it's never really like affected me. Like, especially like in friendships, like I've had friendships that I don't have anymore.

Speaker 2 It's like something happened. We didn't see eye to eye.
And it's like, my life is better without somebody. Because to me, it's not even about the alcohol.

Speaker 2 It's just about like, what else are you going to do? That

Speaker 2 the controlling aspect of it. The alcohol aspect of it is just like, that's, that's where the problem is.

Speaker 2 And if it's, it sounds like with that, just with that hard no and just no explanation, just like, you shouldn't be drinking that. It's like, oh, okay, so what else can I not do under your roof?

Speaker 2 Like, that's the thing. It's, it's one thing to say that and think that, you know, I think it's bad if you do this

Speaker 2 coming from a concerned, like loving standpoint. Be like, hey, you know,

Speaker 2 we drink a lot on the weekends.

Speaker 2 You know, what if we tried not drinking during the weekdays? It's all about the approach. It's about, you know, as opposed to just kind of like.

Speaker 1 Just springing it out of the blue.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And there is a comment from op

Speaker 1 clarifying like has he ever brought this up before like someone asked that and op goes no he never did maybe because he knew how my dad was with it and my dad's father maybe he's just scared it will be passed down to me one day i don't know And someone else goes, if he ever saw evidence of that, then he'd be free to initiate a conversation about it.

Speaker 1 Deciding you can or can't drink is not appropriate at all, especially in the absence of any troubling behavior. So it does seem like it it was just a random,

Speaker 1 no, you're not having wine during the week, which, like, there's also some studies that say a glass of red wine a night or with a meal or whatever, like, is good for you.

Speaker 1 Like, there's, there's some, there's a mix of research.

Speaker 2 I'm on her side.

Speaker 1 But it's so weird. It's like, I don't like when people start trying to like police your behavior if it's not bad.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.
It's like, well, what is this?

Speaker 1 Like you said, what is this going to lead into?

Speaker 2 Right. Like,

Speaker 2 I used to chain smoked cigarettes. Okay.

Speaker 2 I used to smoke about like two packs a day. Did you quit? You're done, done?

Speaker 1 Yeah. So that's amazing.

Speaker 2 When I met Mariah, I was smoking and I always knew she didn't like it. And I feel like it was probably like a year into our relationship.
She was like,

Speaker 2 I'm telling you this because I love you and I care about you.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 it's a health concern. I'm not telling you to do this, but I think it would be best to try to kick this habit.

Speaker 2 Knowing that she cared about me so much and being like, hey, I would never want anything to happen to you because of something like so stupid.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that you can just like, you can theoretically just stop. And like

Speaker 2 me quitting meant more

Speaker 2 in that way than

Speaker 2 not. Does that make sense?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. It's like it's You have this person you now love.

Speaker 2 I had like a reason to.

Speaker 1 There's a little bit more motivation there. And you also get the perk of like, it's going to improve your health.
Like it's realistically, it's better for you long term.

Speaker 2 I'm like, I knew I stunk. I always smelled like cigarettes.

Speaker 1 Fingertips.

Speaker 2 And like somebody who's a non-smoker, like you smell it. Like if anybody has a, like, it's like, yeah, it's so pungent.
Like, and I was like, damn, like, I felt bad. Like, I felt selfish for

Speaker 2 just kind of like,

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm so proud you were, you were able to quit. That's huge to go from two packs a day.
Like, that is a lot of dedication.

Speaker 1 And, like, yeah, you had the external motivation, but you still had to have that intrinsic because otherwise it would never have worked.

Speaker 2 I switched to like the e-cigarettes for a little bit. Yeah.
And like, that helped me get off. And then I was ended up being able to get off of that and just.

Speaker 1 That's, yeah, that's amazing. I love the way your fiancé approached it too.
Like, it wasn't from this angle of control, like, you need to stop smoking. It's like, it's just genuine concern.

Speaker 1 Like, hey, I, you know, just looking out,

Speaker 1 could really, you know, maybe you could consider cutting back or quitting. Like, that is a different angle.

Speaker 1 Like, if this guy were to see her having a bottle of wine every night, or maybe two glasses every night, every day of the week, like, hey, hon, like, I'm just a little concerned.

Speaker 1 Maybe we skip the wine with dinner tonight. But she even says, I can't even remember the last time I had a glass of wine with dinner.
Yeah. I don't have a problem.

Speaker 1 And then he's so mad that he, like, can't even enjoy the dinner then.

Speaker 2 It seems like something must have happened right before dinner that he was already like heated about and kind of like snapped.

Speaker 1 There's no mentions of it in OP's comments that I see.

Speaker 1 Not a lot beyond the post. So interesting.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 But the top comment on this one, he's so pissed off that you wouldn't let him control you that he chucked a fucking tasty meal and went running back to his dad's house.

Speaker 1 I'm not trying to be one of those commenters who goes straight to either breakup or divorce. So, my advice is in that order for you to continue this relationship.

Speaker 1 He needs to give you a really good apology. He needs to outline what he did, that was wrong, and why.

Speaker 1 He also needs to prove that he understands that it's not his place to decide for you whether you have a glass of wine with dinner or not.

Speaker 1 If he can't treat you as an equal partner who has agency over her own body and life choices, he's not the one.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he just sounds childish. Like, just like the whole like throwing away dinner and just going to daddy's house just seems like he is

Speaker 2 has a little bit more room to grow. Yeah, and I also for me, that's a lot.
I also think, too, like, Mariah pretty much never drank our entire relationship. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Like, she had like a few drinks and, like,

Speaker 2 would, you know, whatever.

Speaker 1 Maybe socially or randomly.

Speaker 2 Yeah, super rarely. And, like, I was a heavy drinker.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 I knew, like, I'm sure she wasn't like thrilled about that,

Speaker 2 but was just like.

Speaker 2 It's his choice. it's his choice, yeah, you know.

Speaker 2 She never like made me like feel bad

Speaker 2 about doing it, yeah.

Speaker 1 No, it like it sounded like it was just genuine concern, which is like, yeah, the total opposite of this.

Speaker 1 And I think like control, like this might be one of those early red flags that starts popping up.

Speaker 1 Like, yeah, we've had a lot of stories on my dad's podcast lately where these listeners will write in and like ask for advice based on their situation.

Speaker 1 And the abuse abuse they describe starts really small. He wouldn't let me listen to the type of music I liked.

Speaker 1 And then it escalates to if I make any noises when I'm falling asleep in bed, he gets pissed off. And it's like, what the fuck? Who can control if they start snoring as they're falling asleep? Or

Speaker 1 what?

Speaker 2 Do people actually do that? Oh,

Speaker 1 yeah.

Speaker 1 No, my fiancé is a sleep talker, and then like he'll make these random little noises and I'm like what he's like oh the goats the goats got out you have

Speaker 2 you have the app where it records every time someone says something I want to get it my friend my friend Kurtna she has it and she shows it all the time she posts it all the time shit she says in the middle of the night and it's insane

Speaker 2 I'm a little scared I would catch my toots oh your your toots oh it might it might yep yeah might catch that yeah I haven't I haven't farted in front of him yet so

Speaker 2 oh wow yeah well make sure engaged in him well you make sure you have the app on your phone, not his phone. Okay, so you have it recorded, you hear a toot, you delete it.

Speaker 2 That's an idea, yeah, okay, because it separates all the audios, so if like you toot in the middle of the night, it puts its it puts its like own.

Speaker 1 Okay, I could give it this, yeah, this would be good, yeah.

Speaker 2 But you'll you'll hear, you'll hear everything.

Speaker 1 Oh my god, I would love to hear what he says because he's such a sleep talker.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I sleep talk too, it's it's terrible, it's so good, okay.

Speaker 1 A couple more for us.

Speaker 1 This is seven days old, coming from Two Hot Takes Subreddit, titled Dating an Escort.

Speaker 1 Awesome. I, 61 male, have been seeing this escort, 44 female, for many years.
She's told me a few times in the past that she loves me.

Speaker 1 She's had a traumatic past being abandoned by her mom, having a kid when she was 15, and has been in abusive relationships.

Speaker 1 However, it appeared that she found her own as an escort and made a living from several repeat clients. She seems happy externally.
However, she's told me a few times that her work is eating her up.

Speaker 1 However, she can't quit as she can't figure out another career that pays her bills. I've developed feelings for her, but unsure if one can have a real relationship with an escort.

Speaker 1 Anyone have experience?

Speaker 2 Watch the movie Pretty Woman.

Speaker 1 Literally, it's giving Richard Trump.

Speaker 2 I've actually never seen that.

Speaker 1 I've never seen that movie. That is a crime.

Speaker 2 I know, I know. Julia Roberts, Richard Gear.

Speaker 2 She was an escort in that movie.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Wow.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. It's such a good movie.

Speaker 2 And then they fell in love. Oh.
All right. I'm going to watch it.
I'm going to watch it.

Speaker 1 It's so good.

Speaker 2 It's like a cute rom-com. Yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 2 It's a good wine night. Like, like you and Todd with a bottle of wine and like ordering some food in.
Todd. That's the only person I could watch it with.
Just Todd. There you go.
But yeah. All right.

Speaker 2 Sounds good. I'm going to watch it.

Speaker 1 I feel like he's just trying to live life, have a good time.

Speaker 2 Love is love.

Speaker 1 I'm like team love. I'm just like, you try it.

Speaker 2 Give it a shot. I think try it out.
Obviously, don't make any harsh decisions on both ends. Like, don't have her quit her job.
Don't like.

Speaker 2 Okay. I have one very, very important question.
He's saying, he says he's been seeing her. Yeah.
Is that for many years?

Speaker 2 Seeing her, seeing her or paying her to see him? I think paying her.

Speaker 1 Paying client. Yeah.
I think it's only been a client

Speaker 1 service provider relationship.

Speaker 2 I mean,

Speaker 1 she says she loves him, though.

Speaker 2 Girl, she loved the money.

Speaker 1 But what if she really, like, what if it was like... He's her top client.

Speaker 2 Maybe. You're my favorite customer.

Speaker 1 I did read another story recently that was from this

Speaker 1 person sharing. I used to get massages regularly, and the masseuse would let you pay for upgrades, which was a happy ending.

Speaker 1 But it turns out she doesn't do the upgrade service anymore because she married one of her regulars and he doesn't want her doing upgrades anymore. So like,

Speaker 1 sometimes people find their person in very unusual methods.

Speaker 2 I could see them like possibly falling in love, but if you're not hanging out outside of this, I feel like that's a little bit of a red flag, no?

Speaker 1 I wonder if they've hung out. Let me see if there's any comments.

Speaker 2 What did OP say? What's OP?

Speaker 2 Original post? Oh, right.

Speaker 1 Original poster.

Speaker 2 Original poster.

Speaker 1 So OP responds to a comment, yes, that's what I believe is. She's telling me what she thinks I want to hear.
I only want to hear her reality.

Speaker 1 But the problem is she began this by telling me she loves me multiple times over a period of time. I didn't react at all for a good while.

Speaker 1 So I don't know. Maybe OP is kind of doubting if the I love you is real or not.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Now I've developed feelings for her, but her actions, as I've spent more time with her, lead me to be more confused of her actual motivation and intentions.

Speaker 2 More time with her while they're in session.

Speaker 1 Would you have any suggestions on how to elicit her real intentions?

Speaker 2 Uh, go out, just ask, yeah, just be like, hey, like, obviously, like, we've been like seeing each other, you know,

Speaker 2 this type of way. Um,

Speaker 2 to be honest, like, I know we've been saying we love each other, like, I genuinely mean that, and I would like to

Speaker 2 go out to dinner and actually hang out

Speaker 2 outside of you know

Speaker 1 work.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 2 usual encounter.

Speaker 2 He's 66 and she's 44 61 60 61 61 61 yeah oh i'm surprised i didn't think 61 year old even when i read it okay oh they're yeah boomers know they know what's up no it's just it's just interesting i like just can't imagine just 61 year old going beyond the computer like hmm well especially on my sub like i'm kind of oh oh this is on yours is on mine like my sub is kind of sneaky oh so he he's in it he's in it oh so every single one we're listening we're reading off they're listening on this podcast most today have been from Two Hot Takes.

Speaker 1 I've read it.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Cool. I know.
But they like usually listen.

Speaker 2 Oh, no.

Speaker 2 I thought we were never that they're not going to hear our answers.

Speaker 2 Shit.

Speaker 1 No, it's good. We've, we've been very, we've been on it today.

Speaker 1 I feel like our responses have been really thoughtful.

Speaker 2 Exactly.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Something to consider with this too is OP does comment and say, I'm right now, I'm still contributing 70% of her monthly income.

Speaker 1 So it sounds like, oh, it sounds like he's really kind of a pay pig in a sense.

Speaker 2 Sugar daddy type.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And that would be hard because it's like she's kind of mentioning to him, like, I don't know what else I would do with my life.
And like, he wants a relationship. So it's like,

Speaker 1 do you give someone an allowance so they stop having to do that?

Speaker 1 Or like, do you help her find another job and then say, hey, let's go on a date, see if we actually like each other outside of the paying relationship?

Speaker 1 Like, it would be a really tough conversation to have.

Speaker 2 That is, because if he's providing providing 70%, when they start dating, there's probably no services anymore, and that's 70% of her income. And then so maybe she does really like him then.

Speaker 1 And that's why she's giving up other clients.

Speaker 2 Exactly. Because she knows that he's not like, what is he going to pay for everything for her? I mean, that's not what I'm thinking that she's thinking.

Speaker 2 But she has to think a little bit financially about this decision she's making.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there's another comment where OP says, we're not dating in the sense that she doesn't spend any time with me off the clock.

Speaker 1 So I don't know. I feel like my gut says she's not into it.
And she's, I feel like I side with Heath a little bit.

Speaker 2 I would say, hypothetically, if you're paying for an hour

Speaker 2 and she's not hanging out after that hour just to spend genuinely like genuine time with you and to talk and hang out. Oh, that's good.

Speaker 1 That's a good way to tell.

Speaker 2 Oh, you say you love me so much, but as soon as that time hits an hour, you're out the door. I have a feeling she is spending longer than the hour.
He said that they're not.

Speaker 2 No, no, I know, I know, but like, I think that time still counts as like part of like the he's, I don't think he's paying for the session, but I think she is staying a little longer, and that's probably why he's like, oh, maybe she does like me because she's staying a little longer.

Speaker 2 It's still technically during session, it's just session has gone over, but he's not paying extra time for it. But he's also paying 70% of her income.

Speaker 2 We need a little bit more context here, OP.

Speaker 1 Come on, let us know. You're going to hear it.

Speaker 2 You're going to see it. I always say also go with your gut.
I feel like deep down he knows what it really is. And it's either one thing or it's the other.

Speaker 2 And sometimes it's hard to accept it if it's not the answer you want. But I feel like he probably knows if she actually loves him or if he feels like he's being.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I kind of want to have them both on the pod. Let's send him an invite.

Speaker 2 Have them come here and then Heath and I will come back.

Speaker 1 I would love to facilitate like couples therapy. Not that I'm a qualified therapist by any means, but I do do that at some live shows.

Speaker 1 I ask people that are coming to the shows to submit a problem they're having that has two sides, and then we will go and talk to both of them and like hash it out.

Speaker 2 Oh,

Speaker 1 yeah. One of one of the biggest ones was

Speaker 1 this couple in Irvine. Love you guys.
He got her a vacuum for her Valentine's Day gift.

Speaker 2 Beautiful gift.

Speaker 1 Vacuuming is the only chore that he had to do.

Speaker 2 Oh,

Speaker 1 yeah, so it was a really heated debate with everyone.

Speaker 2 He knew like he had to have thought that in his brain before he buying it. Like he knew what he was doing.
There's no way he didn't know.

Speaker 1 He really, I don't think it kind of just escaped him.

Speaker 2 Oh, you really think he didn't?

Speaker 1 Yeah, he was so nice. He was like, I really thought it was, it wasn't that bad.

Speaker 2 If it was a Dyson, man.

Speaker 1 It was a really nice Roomba, I believe.

Speaker 2 Okay. It was the one you plug into the.

Speaker 2 That does it. It's the little with the iPhone charger.
Is that little one? The cute one, the portable one.

Speaker 2 I will say for Valentine's Day, when I was living with my parents, I think I was in high school, my dad did get my mom a CD to a person that she had no idea who it was.

Speaker 2 And it was like his favorite country singer.

Speaker 1 Oh, so it was a gift for him.

Speaker 2 My mom was like, What the fuck is this? Why would you get me this? Oh my gosh. And I just remember, like, it was a really funny moment um

Speaker 2 and then my dad took the cd and put it in his car um they're still married they're doing great okay

Speaker 2 it's just like a funny little

Speaker 2 but my mom's like

Speaker 2 what is this what the

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Speaker 1 Okay, I'm giving you guys a choice on the last one.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 1 We have had quite a few weddings and engagement ones. It's the season with it, but I'm giving you an option because there is one that's not that.

Speaker 1 And I'm kind of now, I'm realizing making Zane here kind of sit through weddings and engagements and

Speaker 2 babies and breasts. And hookers and escorts.

Speaker 1 So I'm going to let, maybe we'll let you choose.

Speaker 2 Okay. Okay.

Speaker 1 So option one is, am I the asshole for not speaking Japanese after living here for six years?

Speaker 1 Option two, am I the asshole for giving my ex-fiancé a fake engagement ring?

Speaker 2 Ooh.

Speaker 1 And option three, am I the asshole for calling my brother a hypocrite for refusing to to come to my wedding because it's child-free?

Speaker 2 I like the second one. Door number two.
Yeah, door number two. That is number three, Malou.
That is, come on. That's exciting.

Speaker 2 The other, like, the first one, it's like, I already know where it's going. So that one, the third one was just like, yeah, sure.
No kids at a wedding. Yeah, we get it.
But that. Okay.

Speaker 2 Fake wedding ring. Here we go.
I need to hear this one.

Speaker 1 This is 13 hours old, coming from AITAH, titled, Am I the Asshole for Giving My Ex-Fiancé a Fake Engagement Ring?

Speaker 1 It was an honest-to-god marriage proposal. I very much wanted to marry her.
She is just a klutz, and I didn't trust her with the real thing.

Speaker 1 I took her to Coachella for the second weekend and to propose. It was a great time, and she got to see no doubt who she loves because her dad used to listen with her when she was a baby.

Speaker 2 We were there, so it feels like

Speaker 1 anyways. I asked her to marry me, and she said yes.
She loved the ring.

Speaker 1 I had it sized, but it was the brass and moisonite copy I had made so she would not lose or damage the real one at the concert, which she promptly did. And then she pretended not to.

Speaker 1 She said it was too tight and that she had put it away until we got back to Phoenix. When we got back, she asked me where I got the ring.

Speaker 1 I told her and she tried to replace it until they told her how much it cost. She came to my place crying to tell me she lost the ring and to beg for my forgiveness.

Speaker 1 I told her right away that it was no big deal because I had the real one with me and we could go get it sized perfectly so that she wouldn't lose it. Yeah, perfect.
My mistake because

Speaker 1 she fucking lost it. She went off on me for making her not enjoy the weekend because she was worried sick that she had lost her ring.

Speaker 1 If she had told me she had lost it, I would have just told her the truth

Speaker 1 that I didn't want to take any chances with her ring at that massive venue. She screamed at me that I was a complete asshole to make her worry like that.

Speaker 1 She said a lot of stuff that I guess had been building for a while, and she said things she could not take back. Oh, I told her to get out.
She asked for her real ring. I said, nope.

Speaker 1 I am not marrying someone who thinks this is a way to behave towards me. I told her she had to leave, or I would get the security guys to get her out.

Speaker 1 She is only signed in as a guest, so it is not a big deal for me to get her out. I feel like I dodged a bullet.

Speaker 2 Yep, I was just about to say it.

Speaker 1 But also, kind of feel bad that I didn't tell her at the concert that it was fake, so she wouldn't worry. My parents are wondering why we broke up, and I really don't know what to say.

Speaker 2 No, you can tell her. I think that was definitely something something up there.

Speaker 2 That was a universe. That was a moment that the universe created as a test, and it wasn't even that crazy of a test.
This is insane.

Speaker 2 It was insane. It was for her to be upset with him for her losing a fake wedding ring is absolutely insane.
And you know, and you didn't tell him that you lost it.

Speaker 2 So it's like he couldn't help you out in any way. But you know what? You did lose that ring.
And when it came down, you she lost it. She lost it.
So he was right. So he was right.
She was right.

Speaker 2 And he justified it. And it was just, he was just doing it.
for you in the end of the day. It's your ring and he didn't want you to lose it.
It's very special.

Speaker 1 Which, how thoughtful is that to get you, not only do you have a real one waiting for you at home, but he got you a fake copy so that you can have fun and not worry about it. Be carefree.

Speaker 2 Went out of his way to do a fake one. That's

Speaker 2 spent more money to make a fake one. Extra money.
Extra money.

Speaker 1 Moisonites, like, yeah, they're less than diamonds, but like you still have to spend a decent amount for a Moisonite.

Speaker 2 Like,

Speaker 2 wow. I mean, yeah, I think that was a sign.
And

Speaker 2 yeah, as you said, you definitely dodged a bullet on that one.

Speaker 2 100%. And especially the reaction you got.
I feel bad. I feel bad you got that reaction and you were gaslit.
That's tough.

Speaker 2 Like, especially he was probably in like he had, he was on his honeymoon stage at this point. Like, he was so excited for and like that.

Speaker 2 Instead of her being relieved that it was a fake one and that the real one was safe and okay, and that, you know, there is nothing to worry about. It was just blame.

Speaker 2 That, that's bad. Um, yeah, that sucks.
I just have a feeling that he um bought her Coachella ticket too.

Speaker 2 It's giving.

Speaker 2 It's giving free ride. Yeah, it's giving.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's giving gold diggers.

Speaker 2 And then wanting the ring after.

Speaker 1 That.

Speaker 1 You just told this person despicable things. You're done.
He told you to get out and you ask for the ring. No.
You're not engaged anymore, sweetie. That's not yours.

Speaker 2 You're supposed to give the ring back if you call it off, right?

Speaker 1 Yes, unless you propose on holidays.

Speaker 1 Like if you propose on Valentine's Day or Christmas, it can technically be perceived as a gift and therefore doesn't have to be given like legal wise yes oh did not know that so if there's a shot that your engagement isn't gonna work out do not propose on a holiday because otherwise you're not entitled to getting the ring back ladies try to get that get that ring on that Valentine's Day baby Mariah make it work

Speaker 2 I got a Thanksgiving gift

Speaker 1 was it Black Friday?

Speaker 2 I was just on Thanksgiving. It was on Thanksgiving.
It counts.

Speaker 1 It's a gift.

Speaker 2 That's so funny. Is it? I did not know that.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 So I've seen on legal advice.

Speaker 2 I know. It's crazy.
It's crazy.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 People are like kind of coming for him in the comments a little bit.

Speaker 2 Really?

Speaker 1 Well, only in regards to you should have told her way sooner. No.
And OP goes, I told her within seconds of finding out she lost it. How much quicker should I have let her know?

Speaker 1 And the person goes, sorry, I meant after you proposed. I don't know.
Maybe that's just kind of my relationship.

Speaker 2 and also you have to think about it it's another surprise he was probably trying to do when when they got home maybe yes by the way here's the real wedding ring wedding ring or

Speaker 2 it

Speaker 2 i will say this um

Speaker 2 we don't know exactly how long he had planned to hold the real one

Speaker 2 because he went into it knowing that she was kind of clumsy with belongings And he was probably going to do it and let her hold that fake one until she did eventually lose it.

Speaker 1 Maybe.

Speaker 2 Because that's what it seems like to me. Well, no, he said that he proposed to wear a Coachella.
Right.

Speaker 1 Which, like, that is the place to use a fake ring.

Speaker 2 Coachella just happened. No, I know.
I'm saying he could have let her wear that fake ring until she did eventually lose it because he had already gone into it thinking that it was going to get lost.

Speaker 2 Yeah. And to keep the backup for when that does happen.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 So it didn't seem like he was going to go about and tell her that, hey, by the way, that's a fake one.

Speaker 1 I'm trying to see if there's any comments giving us info about when he was going to give her the real one and kind of share the

Speaker 1 info. Holy shit, you guys.

Speaker 1 Someone accuses him of tricking her. Like, you tricked her.
And he goes, trick her how? I had the real $17,000 ring at home for her. It wasn't like a placeholder, was all she was ever getting.

Speaker 1 Thank God he didn't give her the real one.

Speaker 2 Wow. Wow.

Speaker 2 $17,000 ring. Imagine Imagine buying a $17,000 ring at a Cojolla.
Dude.

Speaker 1 Oof. I lost a cartier ring down here on Ventura Boulevard somewhere.

Speaker 2 Really?

Speaker 1 Slipped off my finger after freshly applied hand sanitizer from Lululemon.

Speaker 2 Fucking Lululemon.

Speaker 1 Gone. Yeah, now I got another one, and this time I put spikes on it.

Speaker 2 On the inside? Yeah.

Speaker 2 What do you mean, spikes? You can do that? Yeah, I'll show you. Is it just like...
It's teeth.

Speaker 1 You can put teeth on the inside of your rings and then it keeps it on there.

Speaker 2 See it?

Speaker 1 You can feel it if you want.

Speaker 2 It's a little warm from my hand.

Speaker 1 But you feel the spikes?

Speaker 2 Like it doesn't ride up your hand?

Speaker 1 No, it just like it holds it in place. It like does give you a little mark, but like

Speaker 2 it's worth it. It's not going

Speaker 2 anywhere. It's not worth it.

Speaker 1 So I don't know. I don't feel like he did anything wrong.
Like,

Speaker 1 I don't know. It's just, it's a lot of fun.

Speaker 2 I would love to meet the both of them. I would love to meet them.
Like, these stories, it's just, I hate that I don't like see a face to it. I don't see,

Speaker 2 I feel like I'm on like Maury.

Speaker 2 Maury? Maury.

Speaker 1 Jerry Springer a little bit. Yeah.
It's every week for me.

Speaker 2 You guys can come back whenever. All right, cool.

Speaker 1 You're welcome anytime. Nice.
Top comment on this one. LOL, I like how after she did all of that, she asked you for the real ring.

Speaker 1 Not the asshole.

Speaker 2 Yeah, not.

Speaker 1 And OP does go, like, he, there's a lot of comments from him in these, this thread.

Speaker 1 there was no, I told you so. I thought she would actually be relieved, not a psycho.
I didn't know she lost the ring at Coachella. I thought she just genuinely put it away like she told me.

Speaker 1 The minute I realized she lost the ring, I did my best to reassure her it was no big deal and told her it was a placeholder. So

Speaker 1 I don't think, asshole, like blessing in disguise all the way around. It doesn't look like there's any updates, but yeah.

Speaker 2 It's almost like she wanted to lose that real, like she was

Speaker 2 like, I just can't, like, I can't wrap my head around why she would be upset. Like, you would have lost a $17,000 ring.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Maybe she wanted to pawn that fake one, thinking it was real. It's giving free Coachella trip, $17,000 ring.
Like, maybe she's got that sugar baby mentality a little bit. I don't know.

Speaker 1 Like, to ask for that ring

Speaker 1 after you are breaking up.

Speaker 2 How did she know it was fake?

Speaker 1 He eventually did tell her that was a fake placeholder. I have the real one.

Speaker 2 I had a feeling she already knew.

Speaker 1 You think so? I don't know.

Speaker 2 Hmm.

Speaker 1 I'm so curious. We need more OP.

Speaker 2 Why would she come back and be like, where'd you buy it from? It's almost like,

Speaker 2 why is that coming out of nowhere? Where'd you buy it from?

Speaker 1 That I thought because it was like she was trying to sneakily replace it on her own.

Speaker 1 And then when she went to the store, thinking it was like they told her, oh, that's 17 grand, she freaked out crying. But But at that point, wouldn't you kind of be like, well, why are you?

Speaker 1 Why is she asking me where I got it from?

Speaker 1 And also, why are you telling her where you got the real one from, knowing she wasn't wearing the real one?

Speaker 2 You know, yeah.

Speaker 1 Tell her where you got the fake one from.

Speaker 2 Exactly.

Speaker 1 Moisenite, five, five carats. Well, they don't do carrots for Moisenite.
It was an 8 by 10 millimeter. It was a 6 by 10.

Speaker 2 How much do those cost?

Speaker 1 It depends. There's a lot of, like, I feel like there's a big movement for Moisnite right now.

Speaker 1 It's pretty affordable. I went with Moisonite.
I love it.

Speaker 2 Oh, like for the real wedding ring?

Speaker 1 For my engagement ring, it's Moisenite. You'd never know.

Speaker 2 I just, but like, what's the difference in price? Like, I don't know. Price?

Speaker 1 Huge, huge difference.

Speaker 2 Oh, really?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Like, this, like in an actual diamond, anywhere from 40 to 60K for the size.

Speaker 2 Wow. That's just, that's, yeah.
That's like the savings. I'm not doing that.
No, that's how much a diamond that's.

Speaker 1 What a diamond this size would be. Wow.
It's like the prices of diamonds.

Speaker 2 They're crazy. They're astronomical.
Yeah. I don't think it's worth it.
Just like, and if you lose it, like, you know, hopefully, God, you, you lose it.

Speaker 2 You just replace it with another Moissanite, but it's not $60,000 that you're fucking replacing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no. To each their own.
Like, if you have the go fuck you money or whatever, like, you want to spend 200K on a ring.

Speaker 1 Like, there's some people that, like, Victoria Beckham, she's got one of her rings. She has 15 engagement rings, by the way.
One of them is over a million dollars.

Speaker 1 So, like,

Speaker 1 they can obviously do that, but like,

Speaker 1 I would rather buy a horse than a

Speaker 2 horse, a million-dollar horse? Well, like, you know, just like

Speaker 1 a budget-friendly horse. A good horse.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Like a really fast horse.
Yeah, I just bought one. How much is a good horse?

Speaker 1 You can get a good one for, I think,

Speaker 1 depends on where you live. Horse prices have actually gone through the roof lately.

Speaker 2 There's inflation on horses. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, they get everything. I think you can get a good, good one.
Well-trained, broke, good head on him. 10 grand.

Speaker 2 Oh, okay.

Speaker 2 For a,

Speaker 2 like a baby?

Speaker 1 No, like a trained, older one.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 1 Six, seven, eight.

Speaker 2 What's the lifespan?

Speaker 1 30 years.

Speaker 2 Wow. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's a commitment. Wow.

Speaker 2 You can grow up with him.

Speaker 1 I still have my pony from when I was five.

Speaker 2 Really? That's cool. He's a little cutie.
What's his name?

Speaker 1 Konya.

Speaker 2 Konya.

Speaker 1 He was named after Cognac, the liquor.

Speaker 2 Oh, shit.

Speaker 1 Loose, loosely.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 1 But thank you guys so much for coming on.

Speaker 2 Wow, that was great.

Speaker 1 Where can everyone find you guys? Listen to your show.

Speaker 2 So we have two shows. One is a

Speaker 2 brand new show that we just started with Alicia Marie and Remy Cruz. It's called Basically Unfiltered.
We have to change it a couple of weeks ago. Oh, no.
Legalities.

Speaker 2 Legalities. Basically Unfiltered.
We post every Thursday on youtube.com/slash pretty X Unfiltered right now. We have to switch it later.

Speaker 2 And then we have our show that we've been doing for five years called Zane and Heath Unfiltered. We post every Tuesdays on our channel, youtube.com slash Zane and Heath.

Speaker 2 And it's a podcast. It's a good time.
It's a, you know, a podcast with two uneducated Florida boys.

Speaker 1 Yeah, don't change it. It's so good.

Speaker 2 We'll keep it.

Speaker 1 It's so good.

Speaker 2 And thank you again for having us. This was this was really good.
I can't believe how, like, you just want more. I know.

Speaker 1 It's literally, that is why I started this podcast.

Speaker 2 It just sucks you in. It does.
And then when you get like the little updates,

Speaker 2 and you'll never stop either. There's always going to be problems around the world, and you'll always have them.

Speaker 1 Always. That's nice.
That's why we're here every week. Damn.
Fuck. All of Zane and Heath's links will be in the description of the podcast.
Check out their show. It is hilarious, fun.

Speaker 1 You're just having a good time. Thank you.

Speaker 2 Thank you. I'm just having a good time.
I'm going to start submitting on your little subscribe. We should.
Yeah. Whenever I have a problem with anybody.

Speaker 1 Oh my God. I'm going to have to question.

Speaker 2 Hey, so I have a podcast host that

Speaker 2 just very specific.

Speaker 1 He's getting married, and I feel like he's at a different stage of life than me, and he's moving to Chattanooga.

Speaker 2 Who's moving to Chattanooga?

Speaker 2 That's funny.

Speaker 1 Oh my God. Until next time, guys.

Speaker 2 Bye. Bye.