165: Wanna Be a Fly on the Wall.. Ft. LyssieLooLoo

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We have a little woman on set today. I report, I report to tell everyone there is a little kitty on set today.
I can't believe you know the reference to the little woman. I, when I say I've been following you, like I literally showed my fiance last night and he's like, who's coming tomorrow? And I was like, concrete.
And he goes, what, who? And I showed him the videos. He goes, you've loved her.
I know wait you're gonna make me here I was on a gummy I was like really emotional I was like concrete I love it I can't believe I can't believe like the reference little woman in concrete come to mind but that's just how we roll it i love it for those for those listening and those watching on youtube you'll probably recognize our little mascot here juni today so today's episode it's got concrete crotch kiss aka lissy lulu aka alissa collins aka junie's mom

there's the intro for you that was actually incredible i think that's like the byline now going forward yeah yeah it's like it's just gotta carry and this is junia we we have a little mic set up for her but I don't know

she's so cute she wants to explore the studio right now so she's kind of in her we'll see how long how long she lasts up here with us I'm like you should be asleep by now but she's really loving this place oh my gosh the videos of her trying on like her reindeer or like the bunny costume and she just literally goes like she just passes out yeah always always you literally got the calmest cat ever i should have brought an outfit for this two hot takes but i was like i don't even know what the theme would be like i have so many different themes for outfits I should have got her something I should have got

her like a little flames like tutu or something what the heck I messed up a little reddit costume oh goodbye she's like let me wander I know I might come back here I can grab her too there's so much fur everywhere.

Let's just bring a vacuum in.

There's going to be fur everywhere.

It's okay. She's just a

cute gal. She's just shedding.
It's fine. She's so funny.
So the stories I have today, I still don't know what kind of theme I'm working with. It's kind of giving juicy, crazy.
And the only thing that comes to mind when i read them is like

wow i wish i could be a fly on the wall watching this happen so the theme today like might be like let me be a fly on the wall i want to be a fly on the wall i don't know it's still happening it's developing

come on

get up here

get up here

you need your opinions

the first one happening. It's developing.
Come on. Get up here.
Get up here.

We need your opinions.

The first one,

she's going to feel... Yeah, she's going to need this.
She's going to feel attacked.

This little woman is opinionated.

She's got this. Yeah.

She has all the right opinions, too.

She's a

cultured queen. Yeah, when I have my hair

up in a bun like this, she doesn't like it. when i have my hair down she's like okay you look stunning today

and i just trust her oh my god i just get it she did yeah she does have opinions about your

outfits too i saw yeah yeah so she's ready okay yeah let's dive in Okay, so this first story, we're really, really going to need Junie's takes on. Junie, listen up.
It's coming from Am I the Asshole, titled, Am I the Asshole for Making My weight while she is in my care okay yeah Junie Junie do you feel attacked oh oh it gets better ready oh she's she's ears up now my friend's cat Juno has always been massive okay is this one of my friends? Well beyond the level of a usual, oh, that cat is kind of fat. She was an absolute tank and she is not even a large breed, just a standard regular cat.
Whenever someone would point out that she was bigger than she should be, my friend would get annoyed and insist she is just that way and is perfectly healthy. My friend started a global mobility assignment at her job that involved living in Europe for a year, and she asked me if I would take care of Juno while she was gone, which I agreed to.
She walked me through all the cat matters before she left and told me that Juno was free-fed, and I just needed to keep her feeder topped off so that she could access dry food at any time. The feeder wasn't on a timer.
It was just a bottle that dispensed food with gravity whenever the tray got empty. I told her that I really wasn't comfortable letting her have constant access to food at her weight.
She said, paraphrasing here, look, she's still my cat, and you don't get to make the call. Either tell me you're going to stick to the plan or tell me you won't and I'll find someone else.
I agreed, but admittedly, I wondered if I would be able to follow through on my word for a whole year. I lasted maybe a week.
Having Juno around all day made it extremely clear how much she was suffering because of her weight. She struggled to even hop up on my couch.
I took the feeder away and started feeding her one can of wet food in the morning and one can in the evening. I work from home, so the adjustment period of constant yowling for food was an absolute nightmare.
But it worked. She is now 14 pounds after eight-ish months on my My Way or the Highway diet, and she's much more energetic and mobile.
Even her breathing sounds better. My friend, though, started to notice the weight loss in the photos that I've been sending her and is extremely upset that I went behind her back after I agreed to the free feeding.
She demanded that I go back to the old way. I said, honestly, I'm sorry, but I don't really think I can bring myself to do that.
I was like, I know that when she is back with you, that you are going to do what you will. But while she's under my roof, I can't just let her gorge herself on food all day when it's clear that she can eat normally and lose weight.
That would be neglect. My friend called around to see if any other friends or family would take her for the remaining four-ish months, but no one wanted to slash could.
She is extremely upset with me and says that when she is back in the U.S., she is taking her cat back and the friendship is over. It hurts, but I accept it.
I know I went back on my word,

and it must feel very bad for my friend to be across the world with this situation

totally out of her hands. But I don't know if I can bring myself around to thinking that I

actually did something morally wrong. I welcome any and all feedback.
Lay it on me.

Oh my gosh. Yeah.
There's so much, there's so much going on that is so really, I have people told you like, so people tell me, um, I, I mean, quite often I get the comment that Junie is like, they're questioning if she's overweight, you know? And one thing that Stroke me or Stroked you? One thing that definitely stroke me

No, one thing that struck me or stroked you one thing that definitely stroke me no one thing that striked me during the uh what she was talking about is that she's a breed that's not supposed to be heavier yeah which rag so juni's a ragdoll and her breed is specifically heavier and much more like dense. Yeah.
And fluffier. She is very fluffy.
Very fluffy. She's fluffy.
Yeah. And there's different like weight ratios for her breed than a different, you know, kind of a standard cat.
And I think that did it start out as am I the asshole? Yeah. Because I almost feel like she's not the asshole because I don't know, like a cat's health is everything.
Yeah. Everything.
And every time we take her to the vet, she's always a perfect weight for her breed. But they always mention hey like make sure to maintain this weight and not let her get a little too um put on a couple pounds because she's kind of at the like average yeah but maybe on the edge of a little bit like needing to go on a diet and I always keep that in mind like no matter what when I'm feeding her because especially like being overweight when you're a cat and like cat obesity has like a really high like link to their their health yeah well their little joints like if this cat I mean she calls it massive yeah well beyond the level of a usual oh that cat is kind of fat totally so it's like okay if it's that noticeable like and she can't hop on stuff or like her little joints are hurting when you said she couldn't hop on a couch it like made me really sad and I think that definitely not the asshole I think that it's so important to like make sure that your pets are getting the proper like health maintenance that they need and her not her saying that hey your cat like may need this or may need to go on a little bit of a diet or maybe work out a little bit more is I don't know.
I always think that like a healthy recommendation and also offering your own like positive kind of reinforcement with it like hey i noticed that juno um maybe can't jump on a couch that's not great that's not great for a cat like cats can usually jump like 12 feet they can jump so high yeah they can jump really high and like juni if she wants to she doesn't ever want to but she can jump pretty high because she's at like a healthy weight yeah and it's yeah it's just funny because i always do get comments about her being like overweight and i'm like if you guys saw her after a bath yeah you can feel like take everything back yeah she's like well she's got like it's she's got like a double coat like it's very like it's very layered it's almost like a husky where it's like it's super layered and thick so it's like she is a lot of a lot of fluff. Yeah.
When I'm there's currently a fur on my nose right now. When I'm picturing like obese cat, I'm envisioning this one.
And like the photo is kind of blurry, but like. Oh, yeah.
Or like, you know, that cat from Adam Sandler. Yeah.
I think it's like one of those movies. His name was like Meatball or something.
It was like an orange, really big cat. Yes.
That's what I'm envisioning. It's not good.
It's not good. I actually went to headquarters for like cat health and they they were talking about how like cat obesity is the number one like danger to their health and how it it really affects everything.
Cardiac, their their mental health, their muscular health, everything. And so, yeah, it's a big thing.
I think that's also the easiest way to disturb your cat's health is by free feeding them whenever they want and whatnot. But Judy, what do you have to say? because i know you love your food and your treats she's not so happy she's like she's like i want to explore yeah she's like i she's like i'm done no i'm gonna be free fed she's like i am gonna get unlimited treats whether you like it or not i i was worried for this one I thought it could go either way I was a little like on the fence well I wasn't on the fence but I thought the people could be on the fence because like you did agree to free feeding and then all of a sudden like you took it back and like yeah you're not going by your friend's rules but like when it comes to the animal's health that that's what's most important.
It triumphs everything. And so I don't think asshole either.
Yeah. I'm actually shocked that the friend like doesn't see videos of the cat like moving better and isn't like, oh, wow, my cat does look healthier.
You're right. Like, keep doing what you're doing.
Yeah. Because don't you want your cat to live as long as possible as healthy as possible i'm like you like she needs to be immortal and i truly believe it because i'm just like manifesting it but yeah i especially with the context clues you gave it's like it's it's a standard cat not one of the heavyweight breeds no can't jump on a couch it's not good they're meant no they're meant to jump like my friend oh my god he just told me he he's got a bangle and this thing can literally jump from the ground to the top of his refrigerator he like ends up like on the top of his cabinets like this cat is the most like athletic crazy thing thing.
But he. He's like, I can't too.

He accidentally launched himself off of the balcony recently.

He like used to jump on the balcony railing because it's like super wide.

And he just miscalculated and like fell.

But all he had is like a little bruise on a kidney.

And he was like, A-okay. But I'm like, that is a life lost.
He's only got eight lives left. I truly like cats miscalculate.
And they're, especially this little woman. She's off in the distance.
But this girl miscalculates. She falls off on my bed all the time.
And I'm like, God bless because so do I. And it happens happens so much like your mother happens to the best of us.
I'm your mother. Apple didn't fall far.
Yeah, exactly. There's cat fur all over the mic already.
I'm so sorry. That's what vacuums are for.
Yeah. She's cruising.
She's like, I just need to check out everything. Yeah, yeah.
She's like, is this my new apartment? Yeah, she's loving it. What's happening? She loves what you did with the place.
I know. She can hop.
She has really good hops. Do you have a camera right here? Oh my God, she's got the hops.
She hopped up on that thing. Oh my God, she's really exploring.
See, this woman can jump on a couch. No, she hops everyone listening juni's got hops okay this is actually athletic i gotta tell you really quick like she never is this awake like she loves your studio i'm not even joking this is crazy it should be and she's gone to other people's places before like this is actually insane there's a lot of cool stuff here yeah a lot of plants they're all fake so she can't get sick i know it's perfect it's just like it's a good spot for her oh yay i'm so glad i'm like girl do not do not mess up her palm tree please you can you can eat it it's from my key yeah well no don't eat it but you can mess it.
Okay, moving along. This next one is 11 hours old.
That's fresh. Ooh.
It is titled... Raw meat.
It's titled, Am I the asshole for backing out of my friend's wedding when his fiancée called me uptight and a pick-me girl? My friend Sam, 28 male, and his fiance Kate, 29 female, and I, 27 female, went to university together for our master's. Sam and I are both South Asian and from the same community, so I was quite close to him during our early master's years.
But then Sam met Kate, and out of respect for their relationship and the fact that Kate was uncomfortable with me, I stepped away and minimized contact. We remained friends and our families are close now.
Sam is now engaged to Kate, and he asked me to be by his side and do some of the duties that the groom's sister usually does. I said yes, as he doesn't have sisters and his female cousins are very small.
South Asian weddings have various such cultures and rituals. Kate, for the first time in many years, finally seemed happy in my presence and told me she was glad I was helping with the wedding.
One of our university friends, who is close friends with Kate, sent me a video that she secretly recorded where Kate was talking about me to her friends, and I was honestly hurt by what she said. She called me an uptight bitch and that my husband was only with me because apparently I could be the stable wife with the personality of stale cardboard, I'd be fighting.
She also told them that I was a pick-me and that I always was trying to get her mother-in-law to purposefully not understand her and ruin her relationship with her in-laws. She was saying that she is only keeping me close to keep an eye on me and so that I cannot sabotage her any further.
For context, her mother-in-law doesn't speak or understand English. She only speaks our mother tongue, so I only speak to her in that language, and Kate has made passive-aggressive comments about it all the time.
I did not say a word at all these years to either Sam or his family because I felt it would ruin my relationship with them and Sam was happy with Kate, so I didn't want to meddle either. I showed the video to my husband and he was so mad that he was about to go to Sam's house and demand an apology.
I was just so sad that I texted Sam that it could not be available to participate further in the rituals and that I was sorry it was such short notice, but I think it would be better if we had limited contact for a while. My husband, however, was so mad that he didn't listen to me about letting it go due to Kate's behavior all of these years, and he called Sam and yelled at him and even sent him the video.
Not before blocking him on both of our phones though. Today, Kate called me and asked me to talk to Sam as he was mad at her and his mom threatened to withdraw her blessing as she now considers Kate a vulgar woman.
I told her off and Sam apologized for all of this

and said that he understood

if I didn't want to talk to him again.

I responded politely and he hung up.

Now I'm feeling guilty about potentially ruining Sam's wedding

and my friendship with him and his family.

And I think I could have probably handled this better.

Am I the asshole? Girl, you are an angel. This is like the nicest girl best friend scenario I've ever heard of.
What did you say? Stale cardboard? She called her stale cardboard. Oh my gosh.
Cardboard can't even go stale. It'sedible oh my gosh okay first of all don't go to the wedding don't be friends with these people you're never gonna no i um i'm a wedding videographer and yeah it's so random i like never tell people but i'm a wedding videographer and yeah, it's so random.
I like never tell people, but I'm a wedding videographer. You probably have so much tea.
So much tea. And I've, I've gone to like, I think at 200 weddings at this point.
And first of all, a big indicator that like a couple isn't going to last, like the, the wife and groom is if there there's drama at the wedding, you know? Yeah. And secondly, if the groom or the groomsmen have like, if they're just like not good guys, you know? Yeah.
So it's Kate and Sam, right, that are getting married? Yes. My ADHD.
No, you got it. Okay.
They both don't sound like great people well i'm like i'm just confused like oh pb and like i feel like i could have handled it better i think you handled it like really respectfully and really your husband went rogue and is the one that sent it like you weren't even gonna send it which i honestly think it's okay to send like he he should know who he's marrying. Yes.
I wouldn't want to marry someone that is annoyed when people are talking to my mom in the language she understands. Don't you want your future wife to love your family and like respect them at a bare minimum? And it's like, it sounds like she's almost judging the mom that she can't speak English or it's just giving weird vibes.
The thing I'm upset about is like, I feel like Sam apologized for all of this and said he understood if I didn't want to talk to him again. But why wouldn't you want to talk to him again? Is that because he's staying with her still? Yeah.
if somebody sent a video of my boyfriend just being an absolute like bad person I would cancel the wedding like I would want to know about that and I wouldn't want to marry that person you know like I I want to know about that information and also why would you still be with that person that is a especially when people are talking like a different language and you think that's like an insult to you I especially feel empathy for people in that situation because that's like unheard of like that is so you are not a good person if you think that other people are talking in a different language that you can't understand is like such a bad thing no oh my god the videos that have like karens in the park like there was one that went really viral and it was like this karen of a woman and this hispanic family was like having a birthday party in a park and she went up and was like speak English and it's like ma'am go fuck yourself yeah I just want to like run people over like that with a horse like I just want to like just just like bowling you're done you're done like you don't even need to be get over yourself you don't need to know what's being said even if it's like even if they're talking about you don't you don't need

to know what's being said it's such a control thing it's a control thing they want to be in control they want to hear what's being said the conversation probably has nothing to do with you and even if it does mind your own beeswax mind your own beeswax it's the whole thing everything thing that you said is she is not the asshole no also I just learned these acronyms to reddit like did you do homework before yeah I did I did my little homework I was like okay acronyms for reddit before two hot takes you're so good I know what op means now I I've never been on reddit before this I was like what is a i t h mean or whatever a i t a yep yeah what is that i was like am okay the asshole and then it's like not a lawyer is what i'm learning now not a lawyer if i need to know that like preface because you never know what people are gonna take i am a lawyer there's so many lawyers on reddit these

days i'm like good for you um well you know okay you know how quora like quora yes like i'll always google a question and it won't be like the first answer is like the foot the first good answer is always quora but quora has the worst like setup you go to website history and the answer is like not to be found. And then and then there's an answer and then you can't see the rest and I'm like okay I gotta start looking at reddit now because they do have good advice reddit is incredible like I've found advice for ancient coins on there when I was like trying to get my boyfriend at the time now fiance a gift and then I had like a car problem my car was making a crazy noise and they diagnosed it

yeah like I can find anything on reddit they are like IACM I am a car mechanic

but yeah now now I know. So OP, you are NTA, right? You nailed it.
You crushed it. You are actually I-A-A.
Wait, I-A-A-A. I am an angel.
Because you handled this with so much respect. You don't have to be dealing with with these people don't go to the wedding um let them get a divorce four years down the line i'm telling you right now i want an update i want to know if he's going to call it off because even his mom his mom is now considering taking away her blessing and what did the mom call her a vulgar woman so his mom might not even go if he continues.
The one thing when I read these, all these stories, it's like, I can't believe there are people out there that just aren't like normal, like normal humans. Just like, I can't believe there's people out there that are like this.
I, you really have to burn me for me to like talk badly about you yeah yeah and even people that have burned me recently i would never like say bad things i'm just like i'm i'm peeved by the situation i have personal opinions but like i would never like go bad mouth like them to anyone because it's like that also reflects on you yes so it's just not worth it. I gonna take a higher road yeah the top comment does agree with you not the asshole kate has no one to blame for her current situation but herself i find it interesting that a mutual friend of both of you and kate taped this particular conversation so does this mutual friend not like kate at least now sam knows what kind of person Kate is and can decide whether he wants to spend the rest of his life with someone like her.
Nice to see you have a husband who has your back. Oh, I was going to say that.
When you have a partner or a husband or a wife, that person has to be completely always hyping you up, supporting you, always has your back. And I'm really glad that OP.
Yeah. Right.
Yeah. You got it.
Has a great husband that sticks up for her. He went above and beyond fighting for her.
I'm really glad. When you said that part of the story, that was like the.
I was like, OK. Yeah.
Yeah. I was like we're good now op response to that comment glad this mutual friend thinks kate is unhinged period the only reason she talks to kate is because of sam as kate has very less female friends and she never wanted me around her friend group also thank you my husband really is wonderful and he can get very overprotective in some cases as I am extremely introverted and try to avoid Same girl.
Same.

bless your soul Juni is somewhere in this room

and she wishes you well

she's just back here

she's like cleaning her little paws

I think she likes this

it might feel like a little cave or something

yeah she's like hey

she's just back here. She's like cleaning her little paws.
I think she likes this. It might feel like a little cave or something.
Yeah, she's like, hey. She's just down here.
She's so cute. You guys will be getting lots of Junie pictures on the Instagram and YouTube video.
I don't see any other comments from OP here. No update.
I also went as far as to research. I knew nothing Reddit I like got my own profile I was researching how people's profiles work you can read their little comment history and everything right yeah like you see their comment yeah it's like crazy the digging you can do oh wow yeah I fell down a rabbit hole yesterday I searched myself don't don't ever search yourself on Reddit.
Oh, no. But yours was very positive because one of like when you search.
I have things. When you search concrete crotch kiss, one of the first things that comes up on Google is a Reddit post being like, I love her so much.
Oh, wow. Yeah.
Oh. So you have very nice things on Reddit.
you're kidding I do have one wrong thing I had like one mean post about like a live show and I was like I was like this isn't even true we didn't we didn't start late and we actually read we read seven stories not four so I was just like you know when you have like 20 nice comments but one i have like had people reach out to me and be like you're on reddit and don't look at the comments and it was about how my like lips were so fake and i was like i was like i've never got a filler in my entire life you don't. I'm so tempted to create a Reddit account and post my baby pics if you guys want.
You know how you can tell if someone has had lip filler or not? Oh, it's the wrinkles. The wrinkles.
The wrinkles. Like, look for people's wrinkles in their lips.
If you don't see wrinkles. Can you have these Zoom? Can you have these Zoom? I got the wrinkles.
Those are real. I got wrinkles galore.
And it's to the point where people will be like, you need chapstick. I'm like, I put it on five minutes ago.
You're just used to the unwrinkled lips. No.
And yeah, I was so tempted to make a Reddit account to just like prove myself. But I was like, you know what? This is kind of fun.
A little bit of drama. I'll take it.
I'll take it over the list. Oh my God.
People are just so interesting. Do you want to come for the next question? Oh yeah.
She is ready. She's so relaxed.
This episode is brought to you by Pacifico. Here's a story you've probably never heard.
Legend has it, decades ago, a couple surfers went down to Mexico in search of epic swell swells but they found something unexpected instead it was still crisp lively and smooth but it had nothing to do with waves it was pacifico a delicious mexican lager it's like it was brewed to be discovered pacifico find your own way 21 plus discover responsibly pacifico clara beer imported by crime import chicago illinois she's like let's hear the next question she got her zoomies out of her system cat zoomies are so funny i know and it's always at like 4 a.m when you're trying to sleep and then all of a sudden you just get like smacked in the face it's actually really sad because i'll like wake up and i always put junie's toys in her like little bin in the living room, which is across the house. And when I wake up, all of her toys are like near my bed, which means when I was sleeping, she just brought them out.
Like, it's so sad. I'm like, I'm sleeping.
Like, what can I do about this? Does she give you scalp massages? No, she no she never has no but she gives me little foot massages in a not so fun way every single night like I can't have my toes out like I I put the bedding under my feet because she loves just like I don't think she knows that they're a part of my body oh yeah so yeah. So she's like, oh, little like piggies out from me.
I'm like, oh, I guess I am a pig. Oh, my God.
The snort. I love it.
That's me. I guess I am a little piggy.
Oh, my God. I guess I am a little piggy for her to.
I love that. My cat.
She literally would like massage my head with her teeth.

And it was like the craziest sensation.

It was like, yeah, it was like she was like pulling my hair with her.

It was it.

I don't know.

Maybe maybe you guys out there will have a cat that's done that.

It was like, you know, those little brain like the scalp massagers.

It looked like an octopus.

It felt like that, but like 20 times better.

Oh, it was nice.

It was so good. Oh, my gosh.
Yeah. You hearing this? You got to learn, Junie.
Yeah. Got to learn.
She's asleep most of the time anyway, so. A little tail flick.
Yeah. Yeah, I know.
Okay. This next one, it's 12 hours old as well.
Titled, would I be the asshole for dumping my girlfriend after she ignored my calls and messages and went clubbing while I was undergoing emergency surgery? Oh, I already agree with you. You're not the asshole.
I, 22 male, and my girlfriend, 22 female, have been together for five years. We've been together since high school, and and until recently I've always considered her to be my future wife.
I've even bought a ring and was planning on proposing over the coming months. Well last weekend it was my girlfriend's best friend's birthday.
She and her friends booked a private lounge at a club. Obviously I didn't go since one I wasn invited and two, I hate clubbing or anything associated with that.
I was actually looking forward to spending an evening alone and just binging Netflix or something. Well, my girlfriend left around 9 p.m.
and I just crashed on the couch and watched some YouTube. Well, around 11 p.m., I started to feel this distinct stomach pain.
The pain you experience when someone hits you in the nuts. It wasn't bad at first, and I just thought my body was playing some tricks on me, but in the span of about five minutes, the pain just kept getting worse until I was basically stuck in the fetal position on the couch.
Again, initially, I just thought that the pain would go away. But then I pulled down my pants and it felt like my right testicle was starting to swell.
I did not read this before. Oh my God.
Yeah, I definitely relate. The moment I tried to get up and grab my phone to inspect whatever the fuck was happening to me, I just

collapsed to the floor. That was probably the worst pain I've ever felt in my life.
Imagine being pelted in the nuts over and over again. I did manage to crawl to the table next to the couch to get my phone.
I immediately tried calling my girlfriend, but she declined my call. I then texted her that something was wrong and could she come home immediately? The club she went to is like a five-minute walk from our apartment.
I just put the phone down and started throwing up because of the pain. After throwing up for like a minute, it felt like the pain started to cool down a bit.
And I grabbed my phone again, and that's when I saw her response. She just replied with a quote, what is it? And like an emoji that's like an annoyed face like I tried calling her again, but as expected, she just declined it again.
I then texted her that I need to go to the hospital now. She then asked for what? And I just replied with, my balls hurt.
I then just dialed for emergency services. I explained my situation to the emergency responder, and she asked if there was somebody that could drive me to the hospital, and I stupidly said yes.
I thought my girlfriend would be home soon, and she would drive me to the hospital. I felt embarrassed to call an ambulance because my balls hurt.
After I told the emergency responder this, she then told me that she would call me again in 10 minutes to make sure I was being driven to the hospital. I then put down my phone and went back to vomiting on our carpet.
Again, after the pain went away for a bit, I checked my phone and saw that my girlfriend responded with laughing emojis. I again tried to call her, but as expected, she just declined again.
She texted me that this wasn't the time to play games. And she then told me that if I texted or called her again, she would block my number.
Oh my gosh. I again tried calling her, but she declined again.
And when I tried calling her a second time, I realized she did actually block me. I went back to curling up on the floor and now I started shivering.
At this point, I didn't care about being embarrassed and just called emergency services again and asked for an ambulance. It felt like an eternity, but the ambulance eventually came and rushed me to

the hospital. I don't remember much of surgery since I was sedated, but I remember waking up eventually and my right testicle was being stitched together.
The doctor informed me that I had testicular torsion and I was extremely lucky to reach the hospital in time. I could have easily have been forced to surgically remove my testicle.
I checked my phone and saw the missed call. Oh my god.
the apartment to find me. When she realized I wasn't there, only then did it hit her that I was actually being serious.
I just texted her in which hospital I was staying at and my room number and then went to sleep. I woke up the next morning and saw my girlfriend sleeping on the couch next to my hospital bed.
After she woke up, she started bombarding me with apologies. She thought I was joking, that I was trying to ruin their night, etc.
I didn't have the energy to argue, so I just kept quiet. I was beyond hurt by what she did, and I wanted to break up with her then and there.
Why the fuck would somebody ignore messages where their partner is begging them to come home? Not only that, she stayed in a club until 3am and didn't even consider going home to check on me. She did stay with me in the hospital for the remaining two days.
I was admitted there and did take good care of me, but I was still beyond pissed at her. Ever since coming home yesterday, I've been wanting to dump her, but at the same time, I feel like she genuinely thought I was joking and made a mistake I feel conflicted and don't know how to proceed with this situation Would I be the asshole if I dumped her? Am I overreacting? Okay For me, I I feel like people are always so quick to say Dump him like dump her You know people are always so quick to say I feel like this is so justified um now that she knows what happened and also the only thing that's holding me back from like going full force like yes dump her is that He responded to her by by saying my balls hurt.
And that's it. And there was never any more context.
I know. That's the only thing.
And you are not in the wrong, OP. But maybe a little bit more context.
Like, hey, I'm actually dying. And my balls are doing something.
I know. Very dangerous.
I know because like she could have interpreted that as like yeah a sexual thing like exactly oh like like blue balls like you just want me to come home so we can hook up but I I'm really annoyed where it's like okay he keeps calling you just answer the phone answer answer the phone. Like, come on, girl.
Like, it's clearly dire. Yes.
Step into the bathroom. Answer the phone.
See what's actually going on. And then you can decide if it's like, leave the club worthy.
But also, you live five minutes away. Run home real quick.
It's so easy. And use the bathroom there.
Two birds, one stone. Because the club's probably got a line.
And then go back to the club like the part that's so messed up to me is that i'm probably juni i'm like she's she agrees but is that she blocked him when will you when do you ever block your own boyfriend ever ever i can't imagine blocking my own boyfriend that's ever no and then i'm like i'm like is there more context we're missing where like he's cried wolf before like where she's been at the club and been like can you come home like i'm not feeling well like is this like a little boy who cried wolf story or like why did she automatically go to assuming oh i thought you were just trying to ruin my night? I would never. Situations where he's like, my balls hurt.
Like, I need you to come like fix them. Yeah.
That's the only scenario where I can think of. I'm like really perplexed.
Where Opie would be in the wrong, you know? I know. It's like the boy who cried balls.
I can't even imagine what this feels like.

But I have seen that like there was one study that said like I know like childbirth is worse than a heart attack.

But getting kicked in the nuts can feel like a minor like chest pain.

I actually do know a guy that lost a ball and he said it was no big D. So ironic.
So funny. Oh, my God.
Well, not anymore. Not with one less.
It was a big D, but it was no big D. I knew him from like high school or something.
It was just so like distant. Yeah.
But it was like, it wasn't like a huge thing. No, I honestly, I would love now.
I'm like so curious. I would love to see anatomy with both balls like gone.
Like I had a guy friend from high school that he got

testicular cancer like a year out of high school or two years out of high school yeah and so and they can remove it and they can put in like um artificial it's just like a boob job oh yeah they can put in like an artificial ball why did I not even consider that yeah yeah and then you're just like ready to go and i guess your other like sack also like makes up for the lost sack if you only lose one yeah you only lose one testicle so much like overproduces potential yeah yeah so human body's it's crazy i'm like what do you think of this journey she's like leave me out of the testicular talk She's never met like a boy cat in her life She has no idea what's going on But she does love men She does love men So she yeah she's like Yeah I'm interested I'm intrigued Top comment former paramedic here Dude when you're in that level of pain don't call your fucking girlfriend call

emergency services there's nothing to be embarrassed about yes oh and not the asshole but your

girlfriend is and next comment down they have a strong disconnect in communication styles if they

get married before figuring it out they're going to blame each other one comment down goes what is

her communication style in this scenario.

Like, she didn't communicate. Block her communication styles

Thank you. blame each other one comment down goes what is her communication style in this scenario like she didn't communicate her communication style is blocking that's not a good one i just like can't imagine like ever just brushing my partner off like ever being like answer the phone like answer the phone you get called repeatedly like the minute someone calls me more than two times i'm like expecting bad news.
I'm like, yes. I get such bad anxiety if my mom calls me more than once.
If my mom even calls me once, I'm like, something bad happened. Dude.
I've never blocked somebody in my entire life because you never, like... You just never know.
I know. I don't know.
It's a whole thing. I feel bad blocking telemarketers because I'm like, what if that actually was my bank that called me? What if there's like a heist going on while they're like telemarketing and they need my like, they're like, please.
I know I'm a telemarketer right now, but like there's a there's a robbery at my telemarketing space. Like I'm like, OK, go find cover.
Dude, I've been getting so many scam calls from like other countries countries lately and i will accept it because i want to know what the deal is like no don't i'm so curious if there's any comments from op on this one let's check their profile now that i know i think they reply they do reply to that comment about like why would you call your girlfriend girlfriend first? Like, like kind of like kind of shaming him.

And honestly, like depending on where OP lives, like it's so expensive to get an ambulance. Like totally if I knew my partner was five minutes away, I'd probably call my partner, too.

I don't even I don't even relate to that question because I do call my boyfriend when anything goes wrong because he's the one to like let me know if I should be calling the emergency services or just like kind of like calming me down yeah yeah didn't you see that trend on TikTok it was people talking about why they called so and so first before 9-1-1 no I never saw it it was like a trend and they were like like kind of a quote and they're like wait why would you call your husband before calling 9-1-1 and then it was like a ring doorbell of their husband like speeding in the driveway i did see that yeah and it was like i'm glad you called your husband and not like 9-1-1 my husband got there first yes yeah and they care about you so much. Yeah.
And so a bunch of people were posting stuff like that. And like multiple times, like their partner or family or whoever got there before 911 did.
Totally. 100%.
Yeah. I feel like that's kind of weird to shame him about.
Totally. And I get very dramatic about things.
And it's really glad that I don't call 911. And I call my because he'll be like this is literally no big deal at all and I'm like you're right and he sings a little song to me called it's okay it's gonna be okay I need that song yeah yeah is it on Spotify yet because let me tell you it's my panic attacks lately yeah it's gonna be okay You just sing yourself that little song And you believe it you know Oh my god I'll send you the little Little file Yeah The voice memo We should really turn it into a song I know We'll see we'll see That'd be good Opie does say though When you're going through that type of pain Do you fucking think ahead? Question mark i swear i need to log half of you off you have to be bots which like that is just no don't shame him oh my gosh he just went through something very emotional when you're going through pain and especially it sounds like ball pain sounds not good you're not rational you're not rational I can only imagine Yeah Do you think this is breakup worthy?

Um sounds not good. You're not rational.
You're not rational. I can only imagine.

Yeah. Do you think this is

breakup worthy?

She did apologize.

Yes. So there's lots of comments asking

OP, like, did she actually

apologize? I think she's definitely

the asshole. I don't

I don't. I'm like 50-50

on the breakup worthy thing

because of the her only or him only texting her. My balls hurt.
I don't, I'm like 50-50 on the breakup worthy thing.

Because of the her only, or him only texting her, my balls hurt.

That's the only thing.

But your balls did hurt so much that you probably didn't think about,

hey, I should probably say, I feel like I'm dying right now, you know?

Yeah.

That's my only thing.

There is a little bit more context here too.

Oh, oh.

Probably should have included this in the post for us he does he does prank her sometimes and so he does say all of my pranks um go in that direction let me see what this is in response to we literally said hey if this is the guy who's the ball guy who's crying wolf over his balls, then I can understand where the girlfriend's coming from. Yeah.
So someone commented, is that the only prank you've done? If so, no. So I think OP shared like somewhere else where they had done pranks before.
Oh, now I'm just I just got to find all the details. Go into their profile.
All the details. Apparently, he would buy her bracelets and hide them in empty chip bags as a prank.
I don't know if that's necessarily a prank. Oh my gosh, that has nothing to do with balls.
Yeah. Yeah.
So people are like, do all of your pranks go like this? It's like, if that's the only one you've done, if so, no. And you're entirely justified in being upset.
I agree. If no, then include all of the pranks.
Yes. Like you're leaving details out.
Let us know about every single prank. And maybe they were all innocent, but you can't expect accurate feedback if you don't include relevant details.
And if she assumed it was a prank, then all pranks are relevant details. 100%.
And OP respond, all of my pranks do go in that direction i've never done a prank where i faked being in danger to get her attention okay then you are totally fine yeah if you were like 100 if you were that's what i think we kind of said at the beginning like is there context of like him crying wolf in the past like have you pulled any more ball jokes or yeah dick and ball yeah health pranks in general oh my god that was i he should have put that in there yeah yeah the other the only other thing that i can think of is like you know kind of sexual pranks where he's like, come home. Yeah, yeah.
I need help. Yeah, yeah.
I need help showering.

Exactly. was like you know kind of sexual pranks where he's like come home yeah yeah i need help yeah i need help showering exactly my balls are i got blue balls that's all i can think of i know it doesn't sound like that though yeah also hiding a bracelet in an empty chip bag that's what i'll take that prank all day great prank govi great are we talking tennis? Yeah, yeah.
Oh, my gosh. Tennis bracelet? I would love a prank like that.
Yeah. Seriously.
Okay, moving along. Maybe we'll get an update on that one.
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There you go. Okay, so this next one is coming from Am I the Asshole? A-I-T-A.
It is titled, Am I the Asshole for ignoring my My Husband During Our Flight When He Expressed Anxiety Over Flying? I, 33 female, recently married my husband, 30 male, and we took a three-hour flight to Mexico for our honeymoon. I fly a lot for my job, so I have racked up a lot of miles.
My husband isn't a big fan of flying, though he has gotten better and tends to just hold my hand and close his eyes during takeoff and landing, mostly okay when we're in the air. When I booked our flights, I requested to use my points if an upgrade to business class became available, but made it clear I only wanted this upgrade if two seats were available, and then I basically forgot about it.
Then comes the day of our flight. I was so excited for this trip.
I checked us in online. All is going well.
And then when we go to board, the person scanning our boarding passes stops us. She says it seems that my husband was upgraded to business class, but only him, and asks if that is okay.
I immediately say no, we are on our honeymoon and would like to stay together. But then my husband jumps in and says, quote, no, it's fine.
I'll go in business class. I look at him in complete shock and he tells me that I fly all the time and have been in business class before, but he hasn't.
So he deserves a chance to experience it. I see we are holding up the line.
So I feel like I just need to agree and get on the plane to say I'm pissed off is an understatement. He is all smiles taking his seat.
And I go back to the seat where they sit me next to an old woman with a baby on her lap, where my husband phone. within maybe an hour after we are in the air, he comes to the back of the plane to find me, offers me half of his business class breakfast, and asks me if I was ignoring him and that he was scared and needed me to tell him that it would be okay since I am such an experienced flyer.
I told him maybe he should have thought about that before leaving me alone before our honeymoon even really began. He gets angry, tells me that this may be the only time he gets to fly business class, and he was giving me half his breakfast to make up for it.
So the least I could be is supportive of his genuine fear. I roll my eyes, sarcastically say thanks, and he goes back to his seat.
When we land, I try to just move on and forget about it so that we could enjoy our honeymoon, but he guilt tripped me about not comforting him via text before takeoff, and now I am wondering if I am being unreasonable and should have just let him enjoy his first time in business class and ensured him it would be okay. Am I the asshole? This one's so like, it's kind of just silly, you know, it's not like, it's not like a life or death situation, but it is kind of silly.
Well, and there are some other votes too. Like there's no no assholes here so like neither one of them is the asshole or it could be everyone sucks here and they're both just kind of assholes so this is this is kind of a trickier one yeah yeah i have got to say i think that neither are the asshole i think that both people are kind of justified in their own feelings for me I like I don't know it'd be I feel like super lucky because I feel like my my boyfriend now would if they were like one of you has an upgrade he'd be like it's literally of course going to you like there's no question about it keeper yeah yeah a keeper and that's where I'd feel like she is kind of justified in her feelings she's like why I don't know if it was interchangeable to the other person it probably would have been yeah I feel like it was and it was also like her points yeah exactly like she's spending a lot of money to like get those points and miles and like then he just takes it without really being like well babe you should you should take it exactly yeah he was like so quick about it he does have okay here's my thing he does have like severe flight anxiety but how does being in business class like help that it doesn't make it better maybe have a little bit more space.
And if anything, you're probably like, I don't know. But like, why wouldn't he think in that moment, like, oh, I'm going to be separated.
I usually have an easier time flying with my partner. Maybe I should stick with my partner so she can comfort me.
He's slightly that. Oh, he's definitely the asshole if he just like took it without, I don't know, if she couldn't have gotten the business upgrade and only he could, he's not the asshole.
But if there was an option to give it to your wife who got it with the points, especially, first of all, she's the like lady. And then she got it with the points.
And I'm like, that is that is reason enough yeah to like offer it to your wife and like the the reality is you're going to get an opportunity to sit up there again yeah and like do it when it's the two of you together because experiencing it together for the first time is so much better like i remember the first time I got one of those pods, like the sleeper,

like where it lies down. I like found some like TikTok point hack.
And so I bought points for like

$500 and then put myself and my fiance on the upgrade list. We both got upgraded.
So we got

pods from LA to London for $500 extra. Oh my it was the most insane hack and I go damn those TikTok points people they mean business but like crazy experiencing that together and like getting like champagne poured together like that was so special like if only one of us would have got upgraded I would have felt bad and lonely and like just not good about it i can't believe that he didn't offer or like at least even even if you got the business upgrade at least like decline that if your other if your fiance or wife at this point can't, wife can't get the business upgrade with you.
Like that is so, so weird. You, I would, okay.
For me, I don't know. I got it.
If I got the upgrade and my boyfriend did it, it would be a no braininer. He'd be like, yeah, go for it.

Mine would too.

Yeah, exactly.

And I would do it.

Like, I wouldn't be, like, declining it.

But especially since he's the one that's already requesting

that they fly together and that they're together,

why are you not saying, hey, I don't need business upgrade.

Like, put me in the economy with my wife.

I know.

I feel like I'm just, like, no ass no assholes here like this is just a couple spat and like he kind of kind of asked for like like you know what i mean like he's the one that chose to be up there yeah and like phones sometimes don't work on airplanes anyways yeah so he had to kind of go up there with the understanding of like you guys are separated like you might not be able to talk so totally that's kind of like you messed with the bull you're getting the horns of the flight anxiety or like be careful what you wish for yeah because that's just how it is so no like she's back there in tears like and then it's like what you're gonna comfort him when he's the one that chose to leave you no no like just move on i think he shouldn't be guilt tripping you yeah definitely not i think i would hold a grudge for a couple of days i don't know i just sometimes as like the girlfriend i feel like a little bit more she's like hey girls what we chatted about i feel a little bit more like okay with being like i don't know i i actually am in the same situation where i use my points to pay for me and my boyfriend's flights a lot and it's my i'm like i love doing it yeah i love paying with my points and especially in that situation especially if i was paying with my points and he got upgraded, he would not let that happen. He wouldn't let he would be like, no, you're going to get the upgrade and I'll be in the back, even if he had flight anxiety.
So I feel like the, you know, the husband's a little bit. It's it's a silly situation.
It's not something like crazy, but you are a little bit the asshole but that i'm leaning towards not neither of you are the assholes top comment ass info did you get stuck in a middle seat in economy if so we ride at dawn yeah yeah agreed honestly especially with a baby yeah, especially with a baby. Yeah.
Babies deserve to fly. I'm, I'm on that train, but I don't want to sit next to the baby that cries.
OP responds. Thank God.
No. I'll see.
We have flown together three times in the past, Florida, Vegas, and Europe and made a deal to alternate. If one of us had a middle seat.
I think the flight was

overbooked and they just gave a random person in a middle seat and upgrade to business class so they could fit more people in economy. I have status that allows me to use 500 points to upgrade if they have seats available.
Usually I don't bother putting myself on the upgrade list, but the agent I spoke to on the phone said she could ensure we'd be upgraded as a couple or not at all.

That's interesting.

That is really interesting.

Why are they trying to like split up couples I know I flew frontier for the first time the other day and like I had a reservation with three people on it and I paid for two carry-on bags for my dad and fiance and they literally gave them boarding zone one and sat them together but i didn't pay for the carry-on bags for my dad and fiance. And they literally gave them boarding zone one and sat them together.

But I didn't pay for the carry-on because I didn't need it.

They gave me boarding zone 99 and put me in the very last row away from the two of them.

That's even a thing?

Boarding zone 99?

It was for me.

They were specifically like, this girl's going dead last.

You don't pay.

You are the last one on a flight. Wow.
They really consequence you. I started crying.
Oh, I don't blame you. I was like, I don't want to sit by myself.
Oh, that is actually really sad. Did you sit by yourself? No, my dad traded with me.
Oh, see? He's such a good guy. I feel like, yeah.
Yeah. I've never been in a situation where I've been with a guy in a plane and I don't.
And they like don't get the worst seat or worst seat than me. I literally saw a video of someone being like, who has like the the flying princess boyfriend, the boyfriend that always has to have the window or he's mad.
I got the biggest, biggest who does because gross and you should break up yeah yeah like he's not gonna give you the window one time done yta yta you're the asshole for that i'm really using my reddit acronyms on this podcast because i just learned about them and I'm ready to use them. You're ready.
You're trying to. YTA if you're the boyfriend airplane princess.
You're trying to secure your spot on another episode. Yeah, I got a Reddit.
I know. I know the lingo.
There is a comment. There's a lot of just like not the asshole or like No one No assholes here Yeah And there is another one That's like I'm usually pretty team Married couples Can sit apart for a few hours On a plane But this is their honeymoon Oh my gosh I forgot that's their honeymoon Yeah Oh no I'd be pissed Husband You are in big trouble I be so mad.
That's like you want to hold hands. And that's the start of your marriage.
He kind of, he's giving this like dumb golden retriever energy. Oh, yeah.
Like just didn't realize. They don't even think about it.
That's when you really got to like have our hours long conversation of just saying hey we gotta be more intuitive of things like that social cues and 100 now that we're married you also I feel like people always are planning out their weddings when you should be like planning out your marriage and like situations like that like people are so like honed in on planning their wedding and like that's their whole thing about their marriage. And then you just like know nothing about planning your entire rest of your life together, you know? And I feel like you should be able to have conversations before your honeymoon about, hey, what happens in this kind of scenario? Or what are we going to

do if you get some kind of benefit and I don't? Are we in this together? Are you going separate? It's a whole thing. So yeah, this might have been a couple.
If you were their videographer, you could have been like, they're going to have some issues. What's the craziest thing you've seen oh my gosh i've oh gosh have you had like the groom hook up with anyone um no but I have oh so I have a little microphone attached to the groom the entire day because that's where like the vows are coming from we're like and it's actually not attached to the bride because they're it doesn't hide in their dress so it is attached to the groom all day and I tell them hey you're mic'd up all day and I've heard like it I don't think it was ever the groom but I've definitely had a wedding where I'm I'm rereading or I'm looking through the different um like things that were said throughout the day as you have to like as you literally have to edit exactly i'm not like trying to snoop around like i'm mining my own beeswax but i have to like hear that kind of stuff to pair it with the video you know oh no and um the groomsmen are like talking about talking about me and they're like yo is that chick single? Like she has a really flat ass, but you got to get like talking to one of their friends.
You got to get with the videographer tonight. Like you got to start flirting with her.
And it's crazy because I like I matched it all up. I never heard this audio until weeks later when I'm editing.
But I knew who they're talking to because they're like he's like, oh, I'm going to I'm going to flirt with her in this way. And I'm going to use these jokes.
And I was talking about my flat ass for like two minutes. I'm like, yeah, I know I do.
And then when when I was editing, I'm like, oh, I'm just so pissed at all these grooms right now like they were talking about how fun my butt was and you almost just like want to send them the clip yeah they're they're not together anymore like the groom and the wife I don't I don't know which uh of the groom's voices it was so I don't know if he was involved in it but they're not together anymore and I always tell people like the number one indicator to me as a wedding videographer if you're gonna stay together is actually weirdly enough the groomsmen like that is yeah who your groom is like hanging around because girls are always great girl women are like divine like we all have such amazing relationships with all our girlfriends but the grooms the groom who they're friends with is like a complete picture of who they are and if you're hanging around slimy men like that like you're not a good guy yeah so I I mean it's sad but the groomsmen like look how rowdy the room not rowdy but like they can get as drunk as they want but how like slimy and grimy they are when there's like derogatory comments exactly and like degrading like women like I have had like a um a guy dated And like going out With his like friends And like the server Or someone that they saw At the bar And it's like The way they would Talk about her It's like Exactly And it's one of those things Like you kind of are Who you associate with So that's like such Yeah and us women Are never talking about Like Like that guy is You know You see the ass on that like we're just like i'm so excited for you like this is the best day of your life and then the men are like get with the photography it's just so yeah that's only happened you know and a handful of times yeah but still pretty funny yeah i'm like little do you know i know was said, but it's fun. It's all in a day's work.
There was one story on Reddit where, uh, the groom fucked someone's mom. I actually saw that.
Yeah. Oh, it's just like, God, the day of the wedding.
Like do you, I have a question. So do you think that everything is always true? Or do you think that people ever like make things up just to get some karma, some Reddit karma? I would say 95%, I'll be realistic, 90% is probably true.
I would totally agree. I've gotten some listener write-ins like directly emailed to me or like people telling me stories.

And I'm like, that is crazier than anything Reddit has ever had.

So I'm like, okay.

Yeah.

This is real.

Some things are actually crazy.

Like movie crazy.

Crazier than movies.

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She's just chilling. She's loving the spotlight.
She's chilling. Let go, the spotlight's right here.
Well, speaking of wedding drama and stories, this next one, nine days old coming from Am I the Asshole, titled, Am I the Asshole for not attending the wedding of my cousin and my ex-boyfriend?

I, 32 female, was engaged, ex-fiance, was engaged to marry Travis, 33 male.

But a couple of weeks before the wedding was supposed to take place, he said that he didn't want to get married.

I asked him if he was cheating and he said no.

He told me that most of his friends were already marrying or starting families, so he thought it was time to settle down, but he had just realized that he didn't want to. Suffice to say, the wedding was canceled, and that was the end of our relationship.
It's been about a year since that happened. Things haven't been exactly great, but I've managed.
Well, some days ago, I received an invitation to the wedding of my cousin, Taylor, 26 female. Imagine my surprise when I read it and saw that my ex-fiance was the groom.
Good riddance. I had only seen them barely interact during family meetings.
I hadn't noticed any clues that pointed to anything happening between the two of them at the time. Some info about my cousin.
She's what some people would call a free spirit. She doesn't have a conventional job.
She works as an artist. She dyes her hair in unusual colors, sometimes blue, sometimes green, and dresses extravagantly.
Once she wore a white robe, another time she wore a black leather jacket and spiked boots. She says that she doesn't like following society's rules and that she only follows her own code.
Immediately, I called my parents. I asked them if they had known something about Taylor's relationship with Travis.
To summarize, yes, they did. They hadn't intended on telling me because they figured out there would be no positive outcome to it, but they also made it clear that they expected me to come to the wedding anyways in order to show support to my family.
At this point, I lost it and shouted that they were delusional if they believed that I would go to the wedding of my cheating liar ex and his manic pixie dream girl. They said that I can't keep holding on to my hatred and resentment forever and that I need to let it go.
I hung up on them. My extended family has been blowing up my phone since then, saying that I'm a bad person if I don't attend.
Right now, I feel so confused, betrayed, and disappointed. I'm no longer sure if I'm being irrational or not.
So I think it might be best to ask for an outside point of view. Am I the asshole? Okay, your family sucks

Your ex-fiancee sucks

Your cousin sucks everyone sucks except wait i cannot believe juni's up in arms too right now she's like no the cousin she's like not the wait her tongue is out oh my god she's like, not the cousin. Wait, her tongue is out.
Oh, my God. She's like, the cousin disgusting.
No, that's actually insane. I actually can't believe that.
The gaslighting they're doing to her. Also, yes, the gaslighting.
And also, I cannot imagine, like, not even knowing that your cousin is getting married to your ex. where and your parents didn't tell you your family knew and they never even told you and um I've actually experienced this kind of situation before to a way lesser degree oh my god where my like friends knew that my other friend was dating my ex and they didn't tell me for years.
What? Because it was kind of just like they thought I would be hurt by it. I was like.
Well, yeah. It wouldn't have hurt me at all.
But they like let me be friends with the same girl while she was dating my ex, you know? It's just weird. Like, even if you're not like, I feel like it's always more hurtful to be lied to for an extended period of time.
Even if it's lying by omission, just tell me, give me the choice and the opportunity to not care or then at least be able to process my feelings a whole lot sooner. Yes, 100%.
And you can be a little bit hurt, but it's so much better to be aware of the fact that that's happening, especially when it's within your family or within your friendship group. Like, yeah, just being able to know that information so that you can like better base your actions upon them.
Like I had always wished that my friends told me earlier that that friend was with my ex-boyfriends. So I didn't have to like, so I wasn't going on trips with her while like, you know, she was doing that.
And you know, it's a whole thing. It's because then you just feel stupid.
Yes. Yes.
You feel stupid and you feel like almost used in a way. Like, I don't know.
I feel like, I feel like no matter what, it's always best to tell the person about what's happening. Yeah, 100 percent.
If it's involved in their life, you know, and then you just feel like, I don't know. It's just the whole thing.
But that is really, really, really a terrible situation. to be in.
i really empathize with not how explain to me how they could even think that an asshole you must go yeah yeah show respect you are not going show respect to who the people that disrespected you the most literally she's like i can't even hear this is terrible poor op i what did they say to like

you can't keep holding on to your hatred and resentment forever like yeah i can yeah yeah

yeah oh yes i will and i must like what i feel like it doesn't take sometimes i will say like

it's not worth the energy yeah totally but there's certain times where it's like it doesn't take, sometimes I will say like, it's not worth the energy. Yeah, totally.
But there's certain times where it's like, it doesn't take that much energy for me to not like that person. 100%.
Like, it's not like I think about them every day. I just like, if they come up, I'm like, yeah, I don't like them.
They suck. I don't like them.
End of energy. Like I don't even, I don't even think about it.
I just don't like them. I don't want them involved in my life.
And I'll whatever energy it takes to not have them in my life. That's the maximum amount I'll give out.
Literally. And then boom, we're done.
We're done. We're done.
Top comment. Not the asshole.
Your family is being ridiculous. They should have told you that your ex-fiance was involved with your cousin, especially when they got engaged,

and they're out of line expecting you to show up and smile because family.

Family goes both ways.

Your family, too, and they should have told you what was happening.

I would make it clear that you are not holding on to anger and resentment.

You have moved on and wouldn't have wanted to be married to a guy who would do that anyways,

but you won't be attending the wedding, and it's inappropriate for anyone to ask you to do so. Also, like, she's his ex.
Yes. I don't think anyone wants their ex-fiancee at their next wedding.
In what world are you ever attending your ex-fiancee's wedding? In what world? I can't even think of, like, any scenario where that would be a thing no it's so inappropriate because because whoever they're marrying that you know that's probably a

bad thing in the first place that they're getting married like they probably know of each other

through you in the first place you know so literally they do yeah they met because of you

yeah exactly so it's it's just bad bad bad you don't have to show these people an ounce of respect

I'm not sure. So literally they do yeah, they met because of you.
Yeah, exactly. So it's it's just bad bad bad You don't have to show these people an ounce of respect.
I don't know where the family's coming from Cuckoo. Yeah cuckoo.
We have an update Hi, it's me again Thanks to everyone who commented on my first post some people asked for an update and here you it. I've read all of your comments and I've got to say the one who gave me tips on how to be petty made me laugh.
But after thinking about it, I decided to simply not attend the wedding. I'll also be distancing myself from my parents and extended family, at least for a while for the former and definitely for the later.
I also told my friends about the whole situation and they were even more pissed off than some of you. I told them about the suggestion that some commenters made about going on vacation during the week of the wedding and we've already started making plans.
Something else happened in the last few days. I received a call from Travis.
He asked me if we could meet and talk. I know it was probably stupid of me, but I accepted.
No. We met in a public place and I told him I wanted to know exactly what was going on between him and Taylor.
This is what he told me. Travis and Taylor, first of all.
Anyway. I don't know if it's swift and comfy.
Yeah. First, he made sure to emphasize that he had never cheated on me.
Not sure if I believe him, but I let him talk. He told me that he too felt bad about our relationship's end, and that on a night out, he just happened to end up in the same place as my cousin.
They started talking, and one thing led to another, and he proceeded proceeded to have a middle age crisis with her. The only reason he's getting married to her is because she's pregnant and he is afraid that she would just run away and he'd never get to meet his child if he didn't marry her.
After that talk, we went our separate ways. He wished me good luck, and I said the same.

As soon as I came back home, I blocked his number. So at the end of the day, I'm left with more questions than answers, but whatevs.
That's no longer my problem. Anyway, this is it.
I don't

think I'll be posting on this account again. Once again, thank you for your support when I needed it.

Oh my gosh, that is crazy. Happy ending for OP though.
The OP sounds so rational. Maybe it was a little weird of them to meet up with Travis, but he's going to have a child with Taylor.

That sucks.

Yeah, that sucks.

I just like.

Why were you messing with the cousin?

Middle age crisis.

Yeah, what?

He's 29.

This is a like forever middle age crisis thing.

Like you have a child now because of this. Oh, he's 33.

He's 33. What 33 early middle age crisis oh my god that is very yeah early yeah i feel like that usually happens like 40s 50s 40s yeah yeah you hear it 40s usually wow okay so i'm glad there it's just a good riddance all around i'm really glad for op now she Now she gets a fun vacation out of it.
Yes. Good for you.
And I also want to like hear about what she did with her family because it sounds like your family is just like little cuckoo. And I don't know.
She probably just has to deal with that. Yeah.
It's one of those tough situations, but like your family clearly doesn't have your best interests in mind because otherwise they would have given you a heads up and like told you and like been like hey just so you know we heard through the grapevine travis is starting to date taylor yes it's obviously not great it's inappropriate but you should know we don't like it either yeah unless i do i don't yeah i just like i can't imagine why you would like i don't get why they're so supportive of it too yeah that was your child's ex-fiancee who ended it a couple weeks before the wedding i always truly think like it's so much easier to tell people during the beginning. Like if you have a friend that's dating your friend's ex or a family member's ex, just tell them in the early stages, hey, hey, so-and-so are hanging out.
I don't like it either. But just so you know, so you don't have to like, you know, hang out with them or like you're not fooled into you know thinking so so so it's a whole thing I've always been an advocate of just like you know hey by the way this is happening yeah I don't like it either but it's how it goes like just be an adult communicate yes share things openly totally like and then it's like everyone can move forward in the way that they feel is best and can handle like totally i hate secrets i hate people manipulating and lying by omission totally get it out there yeah and especially like on a light-hearted note i feel like when in its early stages, it's lighthearted enough to be like, hey, so-and-so are hanging out.
It's not so cool, but it's happening. You can't control others, you know.
No. It kind of sucks, but.
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Learn more at PayPal.com. Speaking of not being able to control others, our very last one today.
Bro. It's five hours old, titled, My 28 female boyfriend, 29 male of 10 years, has liquidated his 401k without telling me.
How do I handle this? My boyfriend and I have been together for 12 years and are technically high school sweethearts. We live in Southern California and are starting to make okay money, bringing in about 150k combined.
We have a goal to each make six figures by 32 and have been slowly climbing the ladder in both of our careers. We've lived together for 10 years and have recently talked about getting married and starting to plan what the next steps are for getting a house and when we want kids, etc.
We both decided we need to really start to budget so we can pay off credit cards and really start saving We agreed on how we want to budget and have been holding each other to it He works in sales and got a big bonus in march about 25k Even after taxes, it was still a lot more than he thought he was going to get We were really excited because he could use that to pay off his credit card debt and have a decent start for his savings. Then when tax time came around this year, he told me he owed $8K to the government in total and used a big chunk of his bonus to pay it.
This really shocked me because besides the bonus, his base salary is $80K. He didn't get a bonus last year because it was his first year, so it didn't make sense why he owed that much.
He used TurboTax, so I asked him if it was okay to send his tax return and tax info to my parents so that they can give it to their tax guy to take a look at it. He agreed and gave his docs to my parents.
Come to find out, he emptied his 401k from his previous job, about 25k. Mystery solved about where the 8k he owed came from.
I asked him why he did that and mentioned that that's like the worst thing you can do, since he was penalized for taking it out early. He told me it was to pay off his credit cards.
I questioned him more and more, and he seemed to not think it was a big deal. I told him that he should have talked to me before he did this, and he responded, quote, it's my money, so I can do what I want with it.
This really hurt my feelings because we have never been that's my money type of couple

We have both always supported each other during financial hardships and generally split things evenly not keeping close track

I've never really questioned about his finances, but generally knew he had credit card debt. I do too, so I never judged him.
I just don't get how he could take out that much money and would have never told me. Also to mention, since I sent his tax info through my parents, they are also now aware of what he did and now think we are both financially stupid and are lecturing me.
I had to admit to them that I didn't know he did this, which is even more embarrassing. They are now questioning our relationship and our communication.
I told him today that I don't know how we can get married if he's not going to discuss with me about things like big financial decisions. He thinks I'm making a big deal and that it doesn't affect me.
How do I handle this? I gotta be honest, this would be such a different situation if they were married. The entire time I'm'm thinking like oh this like they would be justified in talking about or having a issue with this if they were married and maybe probably their you know money would be joint yeah but since they're dating it truly is his money and I don't know like I never like mentioned to my boyfriend hey by the way I'm putting this amount in my savings or hey I'm gonna be making this huge purchase like yeah I don't I don't know I'm like it's it is very interesting because what I don't this would be such a different answer if they were married and if it was her money it's his money and it is pretty true like it's his bacon cow and you know she doesn't know what the money's for right she he said he used it to pay for credit card debt I'm like what's on the bank statements? What's on the credit card debt?

I am like, I'm so confused because like he was going to use his bonus for credit card debt. The bonus was 25K.
And then he's like, well, I had to cash out my 401k for credit card debt. The 401k was 25K.
Yeah. 50K in credit card debt.
You're starting to like really like that's a lot. That's a lot like in in my head.
Yeah, a lot. I think the most my credit card and everyone, you know, has their own life situations.
But when I was unemployed for like a year because of COVID. Yeah.
I lived off my credit card. Really? Yeah.
And so like I ended up having like a balance. I think of like 12K.
Like I really tried to like pinch pennies. Yeah.
I also had like a California like food stamp card. So like that helped.
Yeah. And my mom would give me a thousand dollars every month.
Totally. So like whatever I couldn't like get with my mom's a thousand dollars and the food card would be credit card.
Yeah. I did that for like almost a year.
Oh my God. And so like I got to 12k but like I was like I was so Like cautious I tried to budget and so it's like for him He's making 80k and that's like a lot.
That's more that's more than the average american makes totally And he's still like putting himself into this crazy debt So i'm like honestly, he does sound financially irresponsible. Yeah.
But you're not married. Yes.
That is his money. Totally.
I completely agree. Technically, technically, you don't have a reason to be mad.
Yeah. The only thing you can control is yourself.
Totally. And like, are you going to take that as the red flag that it could be? And like, yeah, your communication style isn't great.
Yeah. When you do get married, if you have a joint account, is he going to spend that money without consulting you? Is he going to be able to contribute to things like a mortgage or kids evenly if he's racking up all this credit card debt? My head, like, I go a little down the rabbit hole.
I'm like, does he have a gambling addiction? Yeah, I know. Like, what is $5,000? What's going on? I think the biggest thing, too, is her being able to maybe take this as a, like, not a learning lesson, but just understand maybe how he how he makes his financial decisions.
You know, like,'re not in control. It's not your money.
But being able to take this as a hey, this person makes this kind of financial decision. And maybe that should be a warning to you.
Or maybe you should take it as trying to teach him, hey, this isn't probably the best idea to be able to do, you know? Yeah. I don't really know how credit card debt works, actually.
I, like, was so lucky. My mom is, my mom has always been the most...
Frugal? Frugal. She literally had a blog about coupons.
Oh my gosh. Yeah.

She's like the coupon lady.

And I grew up like she always has started my credit card.

I think she started my credit card account for me like the day I could open it.

Yeah.

So you were building your score. She's always been like very on top of me not having anything.

Like she's always like pay, pay, pay, pay.

And I think that really helped me out I don't know how like the debt part of that works but it sounds like should you be paying that off instantly when you get money I've like been told if you use your credit card almost like a debit card it boosts your score like crazy yeah that's yeah I do know about that yeah yeah there's like little hacks so I know that but like if you can't afford to pay it off like obviously like do the minimum payment over time yeah or like pay off the amount that like then is at least interest like incurring the next month yeah so there's all these different but you know, he might not have that financial literacy, but it's like, you should have like talked because like, what if your girlfriend would have borrowed you the money versus cashing out your 401k? Totally. Like what if there was another solution? So it's like, you guys have been together for 12 years.
Yeah. It is kind of concerning that you couldn't talk about this.
Yes. And yeah, a little bit.
This this I got obsessed with prenups. Oh, yeah.
I'm like obsessed with them now. I love prenups.
I used to be a hater. Yes, I have evolved.
And I think this would be one where it's like you should really consider a prenup and keeping your finances separate and making sure you separate your community property so that his debt doesn't become your debt. I completely agree.
Because I feel like he's hiding more debt than he's letting on. Yes.
And it's a way of her being able to say, hey, this is my consequences of my decisions And these are your consequences of your decisions. 100%.

I think this is either way a learning lesson for them both. She can learn about his decisions financially.
And maybe it's a learning lesson for him because she can kind of teach him, hey, this is not what you do. No.
When you have this money. And also, I don't know.
Yeah. Prenups, what you said.
Prenups, baby. I'm a big prenup advocate

because it's not even like saying

hey

we Also, I don't know. Yeah.
Prenups, what you said. Prenups, baby.
I'm a big prenup advocate because it's not even like saying, hey, we are going to separate. It's saying, hey, this is what we're going to.
We're going to be able to control what we want if we do get divorced rather than the government telling us what. It's exactly what it is.
Yeah, we want. Yeah, exactly.
Exactly what it is. It's just having more control in you know nobody expects for things bad things to happen but they do happen and it's giving yourself more control yeah you both you know rather than the government so top comments on this are a lot of finance bros or gals maybe um top one is is at your boyfriend's age, 65, that 25K would have been $772,000 if he just put it into an S&P 500 index and never touched it.
That's crazy. So your parents are correct to assume that he is financially stupid and to worry about your future together.
Next comment down, how would 25K in credit card debt have cost him by the time he turned 65? I'm going to go out on a limb and assume the return on his 401k was less than the 20% plus interest rate on his cards. So he might have made some bad financial decisions accruing the debt or he had unplanned medical bills or auto house repair, etc.
But liquidating a retirement account at 29 to get out of crippling debt isn't necessarily the wrong decision, even with the 10% penalty. Wow.
That is... It's...
Over my head. It's like I-A-F-B.
I am a finance bro. I can't answer this.
want to like take financial classes i know that actually you know what i did and i i was just watching netflix the entire class but that that does sound about right like i do know that money and retirement accounts go absolutely so like it's exponential you know yeah it's just it goes crazy at a certain age and I mean I trust the finance bro don't want to but I trust it I'm on board like yeah I think depending on the situation like there's little hacks but yeah he should have just talked to her because like maybe she would have been able to help. Yeah A lot of people are asking like what does he have so much debt on? And op has said like He hasn't really said so far.
Yeah, op doesn't have clear answers He's been like really defensive So far i've gotten vague answers about student loans and credit card debt I believe he has a little left over from the bonus for an emergency fund trying to get more answers when he's ready to talk. What does that mean? Like, sir, this is not that serious.
Open up and talk. Show me your bank statements.
You don't have to be ready. Just something's going on here.
Yeah, that is interesting. Something is going on here.
Oh, yeah. You got to get down to the bottom of that.
There's going to's gonna be like crazy oh my god he's probably got like an insane amount of like only fans i know that's what i was thinking my brain immediately went to of but that's a lot of money that's a lot of money for that he's getting direct messages he's doing stuff for sure oh my gosh i'm like i'm less i need an update another I need like an update for this one like when she finds out look no update yet that last comment was the one I read when he's ready and it was not sounding great he better be ready to talk now what the heck just print out the big statements or just show it on the pdf open his mail find the credit card statements wow it is pretty crazy credit card statements. Wow.
It is pretty crazy how like. I popped off.
Yeah. It is pretty crazy though that people, I mean, they really don't teach us about finances.
No. So it is, it is a little bit difficult to just assume that people know about.
I mean, if you have a 401k, you probably know what it's for. And you probably know how much like it can reach to its potential like when you're yeah older but i don't maybe he didn't even know what a 401k was he's probably like oh this is my savings account i don't know probably i don't even know much about 401ks but i do know that they can get like when you reach your 60s or 70s it's just like you're a millionaire it's it's nuts I I don't understand how it works like I know some jobs automatically contribute to your 401k exactly so maybe it was that that's what I'm wondering but like as someone who's like now self-employed like I have to contribute and I just like my CPA helped connect me with a guy that yeah that like does it I don't know I don't know anything about it yeah like I just know that i have to contribute every year and it helps with my taxes exactly that's all i know i was like there's so many acronyms there's so many numbers and i'm like please s&p 500 what is that that sounds like a car race it does sound like yeah i don't i'm like please just i'll pay you to do this we need to like connect with the finance bro and be like give us the lowdown well I'm so lucky because my mom does that stuff too she really is my frugal woman yeah does she have her own channel about coupons and stuff she used to yeah she used to and now she like just I don't know now she just uses all her points to travel so she doesn't queen she really is but yeah god bless that woman yeah well thank you so much for coming on today thank you so much for having us I'm like I should here I gotta get this junior to cordially say say goodbye to me she's stretching out she's gonna say goodbye to everyone she's been so cozy napping do you want to say goodbye to everyone? She's been so cozy napping.
Do you want to say anything? She's like, girl, let me put me back on that carpet. Put me back in my little carrier.
I might go home. She's so cute.
She was a good girl. She's sleeping now.
Of course she is. She really loved this place, though.
And i you are welcome back by the way anytime anytime i love the studio as well oh you'll have to see the next one with the ponies oh my gosh yeah count me in it's gonna be good juni needs some horse friends oh my god can you imagine what she would think of a horse oh my god she would be like cool like another animal i don't care i'm going back to sleep oh my god i can't wait to see it she would she would love them though where can everyone find you uh concrete crotch kiss i'm so sorry just kidding i i think that's yeah or like lissy lulu it's a whole i don't yeah yeah did you what concrete crotch kiss is from a skateboard accident my first video ever on tiktok was a video of me i used to skateboard like pretty like much every day like down bowls and like pools you know yeah empty pools and my first video on tiktok ever was like me skating down a pool and i did the splits and my crotch like really slammed onto the concrete and it went viral and at the time my name was butterfly kisses and somebody was like i thought your name was concrete crotch kisses and now it works perfectly and i was like you know what concrete crotch kiss has such a ring to it it's so unique and i love merch yet no no but what are we doing i will never be a merch girl i'm just like imagine it's time i want it concrete i i'm like i don't know what if the people would get it i'm gonna put i'm gonna do a logo yeah i got this i got this guys but yeah i go by concrete now i guess and this is a little woman and she she is such a little woman there's a little colloidy woman on the plane yeah have you ever had a pet in the studio um my dog holly oh yeah they would be little friends they would be i feel like junie likes it more here she loves

dogs she likes it more she's like does sleep now i just said this yeah oh i just want to keep her so sweet uh all of alissa's links will be in the description concrete crotch kiss on everything L Lulu. But thank you again for being here.

Thank you.

That's so good.

You're the best.

That was so fun.

I love having like an opinion and not looking at the comment section for once.

It's so good.

Yeah, it's fun.

It's refreshing.

You were on it today.

Oh, thanks.

You were on it.

Until next time, guys.