WWDTM: Ibtihaj Muhammad

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From NPR and WBEC Chicago, this is Wait.

Wait, don't tell me the NPR News quiz.

I'm the voice so creamy, you better take some black tea.

Bill Curtis is the name and here is your host at the Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.

Thank you.

Thanks everybody.

Thank you so much.

It's great to be back with you.

We do have a great show for you today.

Later on, we're going to be joined by champion fencer Ibtihaj Mohamed, who was a pioneer in multiple ways, the first Muslim American woman to win an Olympic medal, the first black woman to win an Olympic medal in saber fencing, and the first celebrity guest, I have insisted, come to our show unarmed.

But I'm not afraid of you, so give us a call to play our game in the air.

The number is 188-WAITWAIT.

That's 1-888-924-8924.

Now let's welcome our first listener contestant.

How are you on?

Wait, wait, don't tell me.

Hi, Peter.

It's Andrew from beautiful British Columbia, Vancouver.

Oh, wait a minute.

Oh, wow.

Normally, wouldn't one say Vancouver, British Columbia, or is that like a weird Canadian thing you guys do?

You say the province first.

No, no, I just got nervous.

I'm assuming we can edit that.

All right.

What do you do in that beautiful place?

Well, I have two kids, one of which we're trying to potty train right now.

So in my spare time, I work in healthcare here locally.

Can I ask a question?

Because I've recently been through this.

What do you use, if anything, as a reward for successfully using the potty?

We tried stickers, high fives seem to work really well.

I'm just going for enthusiasm at this point.

Yes, I applaud you for touching their hands.

That's great.

Andrew, it's great to have you on our show.

Let me introduce you to our panel this week.

First up, a comedian headlining The Plus in Eau Claire, Wisconsin, August 16th and 17th, and The Hereafter in Seattle, September 5th through the 7th.

It's Hari Kundabolu.

Next, you know her from the hit TikTok show Boy Room.

It's Rachel Coster.

Hi, Andrew.

Hi, Rachel.

And making his debut on our panel, if not on our show, a comedian and actor you know from somebody somewhere on HBO, his new book is called Actress of a Certain Age.

It's Jeff Hiller.

Hi, Andrew.

Hi, five.

Well, welcome to the show, Andrew.

You're going to play Who's Bill this time.

Bill Curtis is going to perform for you three quotations from this week's news.

Your job is simply identify or explain two of them.

You will win our prize.

Any voice from our show you might choose in your voicemail.

Are you ready to go?

As I'll ever be.

Okay,

here we go.

Your first quote is from an agitated resident.

of Venice, Italy this week.

We can't miss a chance to disrupt a $10 million wedding.

What billionaire's multi-million dollar wedding is making everyone in Venice mad?

Oh, wow, I have no idea.

Can I get a hint?

Sure, you can.

Well, they considered getting married in the Amazon, but that would be too on the nose.

Oh, Bezos.

Yes, Jeff Bezos.

Jeff Bezos, yes.

Jeff Bezos's longtime girlfriend, Lauren Sanchez, is finally going to make an honest man out of him.

You know,

it's really kind of hard for me to joke about this because I just love love.

The very big wedding is scheduled for next week in Venice and people there are furious that he is using their ancient city as an event venue.

Bezos though has convinced Ms.

Sanchez that every single word the crowds are shouting at them is just Italian for Mazeltov.

It's really going to be great when the minister at the wedding says, if anybody has any reasons why this couple should not be wed, please join the mob outside.

Three days.

The wedding is going for three days.

Yes.

What are they?

Indian?

This is ridiculous.

Three days.

And we all paid for this.

We did.

We all paid one 16-pack of Charmin at a time.

Exactly.

You're right.

This is why your fee for Prime went up five bucks so he could afford the extra canopes.

I can't believe he's getting married.

I thought he was anti-union.

It seems like a total

up in oars about this and

there wasn't an appropriate place to put that joke earlier in the segment, so I

strategically put it here, hoping it it could be edited in later.

All right, here is your next quote.

We'll deliver long distance calling and all-American service.

That was the Trump organization, yes, announcing their brand new $500 gold colored what?

Cell phone?

Yes, their new phone, the Trump phone.

Trump is now selling a phone and wireless service.

The phone will be $500 in painted gold.

Tech watchers who are trying to piece together the specs on it say the battery life won't be great, but that's the price you pay for being an early adopter of the first ever phone that runs on coal.

Being a Trump phone, it will come with unlimited texting as part of the plan, and it will have the first ever keyboard to not have any lowercase letters.

It's It's just so gaudy, my God.

I mean, also, I would never, but still, like.

I would have to say the aesthetics do appeal to me.

I think it's extremely fancy.

Gold does make my teeth look whiter and my smile brighter.

I fell for the stakes.

I fell for the college.

I fell for the ties.

The teddy bear toy bank.

Yeah, I have so much Trump cryptocorn, but

I'm not getting the phone.

Fool me once, then you can do it three more times.

But that's it.

That's it.

All right, here is your last quote.

It's about apparently what is the hut new thing that young people are doing this summer.

Get your highlighters ready.

That's a headline in The Cut about how this summer people are lining up not for concerts or comedy or sporting events, but for what?

Reading.

Reading, yes, to study.

They're going to lectures.

People are flocking to bars in cities around the country to listen to lectures.

Hey, you want to get dressed up, do some Molly, and compare the impact of the Coptic and Assyrian churches in the fourth century?

Oh, yes, you would.

I should have.

That is true.

We risked

no.

You break your hearts.

We made that up.

That's not happening.

I'm sorry.

There's one big series in New York called Lectures on Tap that is expanding across the country.

Every time they announce a series, they sell out.

It's taking off as a great summer activity because your lecture body is a lot easier to maintain than your beach body.

This is old news.

Lectures and bars, that's happened for years.

They're called Huri Kundabolu comedy shows.

Thanks.

Are you jealous that there's no, that none of these people who appear in talking bars have any obligation to be funny?

I have no obligation to be funny.

You do it as charity.

Once I get the check, it's on you.

I think, as someone who is on the brink of 50, that this sounds amazing.

And I hope that they start at 3 p.m.

and they end by 5 p.m.

I hope you still get cool credit for it and you can have like one beer and then just like a water to properly hydrate and then you go home and you get to bed by 8:30.

Yeah.

That sounds like a rager to me.

And if you really hip and you get invited to the after lecture, that's over by 9.

Oh, that's a crazy night.

Instead of IPAs, are they serving GPAs

thank you thank you very much I appreciate that thank you as you said Harry no obligation no obligation

I'm here

Bill how did Andrew do in our quiz two out of three which means he has won congratulations

thank you so much for playing

Good luck with the potty training and remember they're gonna get it before they go to college

probably

Probably.

Take care.

Thank you.

Bye-bye.

Panel, now it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news.

Hurry, a new dating service has this amazing innovation.

They match people based on their what?

Race.

No.

That's hinge.

Height.

No.

Blood type?

No.

Peter, I might need a hinge.

You might, and I have one for you.

And yes, it counts even when you're in incognito mode.

Rachel's jaw just dropped.

She can't believe it.

But it's true.

Browser history?

Yes.

Oh, these people are sick.

They're sick.

A new service called Browser Dating uses people's last 5,000 internet searches to find the perfect match for them.

Think about the time you will save on a first date when both of you start off knowing in detail exactly what's wrong with each other.

I have never thought, like, oh man, I'm looking for a woman that loves to read baseballreference.com for hours at a time.

Well, looking up old statistics.

But wouldn't that be great?

I mean, because the idea is...

I want someone who makes me better.

That's not bad.

Coming up, do not go to Lollapalooza without listening to our Bluff the Listener game first.

It's a matter of safety.

Call 1888-WAIT WAIT TO PLAY.

We'll be back in a minute with more of WaitWait Don't Tell Me from NPR.

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From NPR and WBEC Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR news quiz.

I'm Bill Curtis.

We are playing this week with Hari Kandabolu, Jeff Hiller, and Rachel Coster.

And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.

Thank you, Bill.

Thanks, everybody.

Right now,

it is time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me bluff the listener game.

Call 1888-WAIT WAIT to play our game in the air or check out the pinned post on our Instagram page.

That's at WaitWait NPR.

How are you you're on WeightWait, don't tell me.

Hi, this is Carrie Roberts.

I'm calling from North Ogden, Utah.

North Ogden, Utah, a beautiful place.

We're actually coming out to Utah at the end of July to do a show in Salt Lake City.

We're looking forward to it.

What do you do there?

I actually work for Weill Cornell Medicine in New York City remotely.

I work in the Office of Faculty Affairs.

Oh, really?

So you have, you work in New York City, but you live in Utah.

That is a pretty good deal.

Kerry, welcome to the show.

You're going to play the game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction.

Bill, what is Kerry's topic?

Badaroo La Palooza.

Summer music festivals are coming up.

That's where you go to hear great new bands and play that classic game, alcohol poisoning or heat stroke.

But our panelists are going to tell you about a surprising issue that some music festival attendees this summer will be facing.

Pick the one who's telling the truth and you'll win our prize, the weight waiter of your choice on your voicemail.

You ready to go?

I'm ready.

Let's do it first.

Let's hear from Hari Kundabolu.

Prior to this year's Download Music Festival in Leicestershire, England, local police put out a statement asking fans not to wear smart watches.

The problem?

Last year, people moshing while wearing smart watches triggered the watch's collision detectors, which sent out automated emergency 999 calls.

999 is the UK version of 911 because they are less creative than we are.

In a Facebook post, the police said their resources were strained because, quote, all those calls had to be assessed to ensure there is no threat, risk, or harm.

Little did they know moshing means there is lots of threat, risk, and harm,

but by choice.

This request not to wear smartwatches was particularly aimed at fans of festival headliners and new metal pioneers, Korn, who are known for their intense mosh pits.

Weezer is also playing at the festival, but this is less of a concern considering mosh pits at a Weezer concert are just nerds bumping into each other and apologizing.

People

going to the Download Festival in the UK being told to take off their smartwatches.

Your next story of Music Festival Michigas comes from Rachel Coster.

Watch out for flying balls, says Founders Entertainment, after a recent craze took over GovBall, a New York City music festival in June.

Bored with nothing to do while their girlfriends screamed about hating their exes at the Olivia Rodrigo concert, groups of young men gathered to practice their three-point shoots.

We couldn't bring in real hoops, said a very drunk Kyle Randall.

So we made short Nick sit on tall Austin's shoulders and we paid him 25 bucks to put his arms out like a hoop while everyone took turns dunking.

The noises from the game were heard throughout the concert.

Videos of rowdy games have gone viral and the risk is high that bored boyfriends are getting ready to ball out at festivals across the country.

Security companies in charge of Lollapalooza, Riot Fests, and more have been warned to look out for deflated balls, tire pumps, and combinations of short and tall friends.

Bored men making basketball hoops while other board guys literally dunk on them.

Your last story of a concert concern comes from Jeff Hiller.

For the past 26 years, the Peanut Music Festival has celebrated the gift of folk music in the town of Nacogdoches, Texas.

The festival attracts as many as 4,000 people, and as the saying goes, 4,000 people is 4,000 butts.

But this year, all those butts are posing a problem.

Supply chains have greatly affected businesses everywhere, and Big Porta Potty is no exception.

Chemicals used in the blue-dyed biocides biocides and portable toilets have become so expensive that the Peanut Festival can no longer afford to rent the public utilities.

The festival sent an email to ticket holders informing them that there would be no access to privies, johns, or turrets.

They included a map of the nearby wooded areas for quote number ones

and encouraged attendees to adopt a low-fiber diet in the days before the festival.

That's a hard ask for the folk music crowd where the average person is 90% sprouts.

Festival spokesperson Tim Dolman commented, people say this is extreme, but come on, this is something literally a baby can do.

All right.

So if you're getting ready to go to a music festival this summer, you have to be on the lookout for what is it from Hari Kandabulu.

Be careful about wearing your smartwatch in the mosh pit.

From From Rachel, be aware of bored guys forming basketball hoops, one short guy on top of a tall guy as their friends try to dunk.

Or from Jeff Hiller, if you're going to the Peanut Music Festival in Texas,

bring your own facilities.

Which of these is the real story of a festival concern we found in the news?

I am going to go with Hari's story of the mosh pits triggering the smartwatches.

All right.

The audience seems to agree.

From the look of them, they've spent a lot of time in mosh pits, right, guys?

Yes.

All right, your choice then is Harry's story.

Well, to bring you the real story, we spoke to a journalist very familiar with it.

The dynamic of a mosh pit is people running into each other for help.

So I guess it kind of simulates the speed and sudden stop of a crash.

That was UK-based mosh pit documentarian

Christopher Bethel talking about the smart watch alerts going off at the download festival.

Congratulations, you got it right.

Hari was in fact telling the truth.

You have won our prize and Hari has earned a point.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

Bye-bye.

And now the game we call Not My Job.

Ib Dihaj Mohamed took up fencing at the age of 13 and went on to become a three-time All-American at Duke University before winning five consecutive world medals in 2016.

She was named one of time's most influential people and won a bronze medal at the Rio Olympics, where, among other things, she became the first American woman to compete and win in a hijab.

She is now a sports ambassador and a best-selling author, and we hope Moonlights as a pirate.

Ib Dihaj Mohamed, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Thank you so much for having me.

I feel like pirate would be fun, but in my mind, I'm more of a bodyguard.

Really?

You're one of those cool people who's like standing next to whoever the VIP is and nobody even messes with you because you're so intimidating?

Really, I'm just like

the fierce protector of my mom and my sisters.

Well, that's cool.

Yeah.

I'm always interested in the origin stories of very elite athletes.

You said you were inspired to compete early by your older brother, who used to challenge you to do things and then beat you all the time.

Is that true?

At least early on, right?

Well, you know, I'm the middle of five kids, and I have one brother, and we're only 18 months apart.

And it just, I think naturally, when you grow up in a large family, things are just naturally competitive.

Like we would, you know, race each other in the pool, you know, you want to get the last slice of pizza, just small things like that where I feel like you're just in like small competition.

And I do feel like having an older brother who used to bully me a little bit definitely brought out this fierce competitor from an early age.

Right, yeah.

And I'm just out of curiosity, has your brother ever won an Olympic medal in anything?

Just checking.

We love for him to hear that.

You were good at a lot of sports, but you gravitated to fencing.

And how did that happen to be?

Happened to be driving past a high school in my hometown and from Maplewood, New Jersey, in the car with my mom.

And from the road, you could see fencers in the school cafeteria.

And my mom was like, I don't know what it is, but they're covered, so I want you to do it.

Really?

Wait a minute.

She had no idea what they were doing.

They were just wearing head-to-toe outfits with a mask.

You're like, that's for you.

We thought they were wearing helmets.

So that's how little we knew about fencing at the time but you know i was a kid who would eventually wear hijab and i really struggled trying to find my space in different sports when i was just always out of uniform in a sense yeah and when i started fencing it just felt like home from the very beginning right and you you picked up saber of the three weapons it is by far the coolest am i correct

Oh, the best, for sure.

I don't even know what the other weapons are.

Yeah, exactly.

Who cares about them?

There are those guys over there who are pointing knitting needles at each other for some reason.

All these silly rules.

I was once very briefly a very bad fencer and I've known some fencers and invariably they are the most intense athletes I have ever met.

Are you one of those fencers who I've seen many times who after every successful point just goes nuts?

Just like shouts and screams and victory?

Or are you more of a quiet assassin type?

In my mind, I'm quiet assassin, but then I watch video and I'm like, oh my God.

Oh yeah, that was a blood-curdling cry there.

Yeah, oh wow.

Or like cute mountain lion.

That's what I mean.

Cute mountain lion.

So they're like charmed as you like dice them up.

I love it.

Does that ever, does that kind of competitiveness ever cross into the rest of your life?

You know, it's, I I feel like I have like a, I don't know if it's like OCD, but I have this, everything has to be perfect and I really struggle when things aren't exactly the way that they're supposed to be.

Whether I'm, you know,

fencing or, I don't know, mowing the lawn, whatever it is, I really need it to be perfect.

I understand.

I just imagine you just mowing the lawn and after every row.

I've gotten really into this.

Really?

Into the like lawn mowing?

It's weird.

It's one of those weird things that that's something no one would know about me, but my family, we recently just lost my dad, and I was like, I could pay someone to do it.

No, I'll do it.

Right.

So we've gotten into like lawn mowing.

So you're like, you're the first to get to the lawn, you're the last to leave the lawn.

I will say that my parents have the best lawn on the block.

I imagine.

You've earned many medals and other honors, but one of the most impressive to me is that you were one of the women immortalized as a Barbie.

I'm imagining, do you, I have to assume you have a Barbie of yourself somewhere, right?

Oh man, I have so many of them.

Like,

what if I, I was like, if I have a bunch of kids and my sisters have a bunch of kids, then we need like 100 Barbies.

Yes.

And the people from Mattel were like, I'm sorry, excuse me?

Well, Ibtihaj Muhammad, it is a particular pleasure to talk to you, and we have asked you here to play a game we're calling

Take a Stab at This.

You used to stab people professionally, so we thought we'd ask you about other people taking a stab at something, that is trying something for the first time.

Answer two or three questions correctly.

You'll win our prize for one of our listeners.

Bill, who is Ibtihaj Mohammed playing for?

Sean Pratt of Madison, Wisconsin.

All right.

Ready to go?

Thank you, Sean.

Here you go.

Here's your first question.

In 2019, a woman in Turkey took a stab at flying.

for the very first time.

It didn't go great, though, because shortly after she got to the airport, she did what?

A, sat down in the luggage conveyor belt, thinking it would take her to the plane.

B got onto the plane and sat down in the first empty seat she saw the co-pilots or C drank an entire bottle of vodka in the security line when she was told she couldn't bring it on board.

Well first of all she's crazy that we know.

She got on the conveyor belt.

Either she got on the conveyor belt

take her to the she sat in the co-pilot seat or she drank an entire fifth or whatever of vodka because she couldn't bring it on the plane.

I'm so stressed out for her.

I'm gonna go with C.

You're gonna go with C.

Sounds a little strange, but okay.

I'm afraid you all were wrong.

You should feel terrible about yourself.

It was actually, I'm speaking to them.

It was A.

This is what happened.

Think about it.

She goes, she's never been there before.

She goes to the airport.

She checks her bags.

They take the bag, they turn around, they put it on that conveyor belt that takes it behind the scenes to the plane.

She goes, great, thank you.

She climbs over, gets on it herself.

Wee!

Wee!

All right, you still have two more chances.

Here we go.

All right, here's your next question.

At 18 years old, Brendan Shanahan decided to try professional hockey, and one of the first things he did was get in a fist fight against fellow hockey player Rick Vave.

Why?

Was it A, he'd heard of the first thing you're supposed to do in a hockey game is find the biggest guy on the rink and punch him in the nose.

B, because Rick Vave had just broken up with his older sister.

Or C, because four years earlier he had asked Vave for an autograph and Vave had refused.

Anything about hockey?

C.

It was C.

He had asked Vave for an autograph.

Vave says, get away from me, kid, and the next thing you know, it's five years later, they're on a rink somewhere, and he gets punched in the the face.

All right.

That C sounded so aggressive.

I feel like I had to say.

I know.

I don't know what they would have done if you hadn't chosen that.

So you were wise.

All right.

One more question.

If you get this right, you win.

Oh, my gosh.

People

should not be alone for the first time when they try getting high, like one woman who started texting all her friends about what?

A, how crate and barrel should be called barrel and crate.

B, how really good it feels to put a wet q-tip up your nose.

C, about how sorry she was for thinking mean things about all of them, which she proceeded to list.

I see, I hear B.

Does the panel have anything to say?

Yes, B.

I just heard it in my ear.

I just heard it in my ear.

All right, let's go with B, and we'll send Sean home with something.

You're right, it's B.

But I also could have guessed in real life.

It does feel good to do that.

Bill, how did Iptihaj do in our quiz?

He is a perfectionist, so she got two out of three, which is a win.

Congratulations, one more

for your trophy case.

What a thrill to talk to you.

Iptihaj Muhammad is a retired U.S.

Olympic fencer, the founder of Llewellyn by Iptihaj, and the author of three best-selling children's books.

More info about all the things that she does can be found at ibtihajmuhamed.com.

Ibtiha Muhammad, what a joy to talk to you.

Thank you for joining us.

Congratulations on everything you've done, and we'll look for even more.

Take care.

EPA.

Thank you.

Bye-bye.

In just a minute, the scariest shower scene since Psycho and our listener limerick challenge call 188 WaitWait to join us in the air.

We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.

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From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz.

I'm Bill Curtis.

We are playing this week with Rachel Custer, Jeff Hiller, and Harikandabalu.

And here again is your host at the Stude Baker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Segal.

I sound so mysterious all of a sudden.

In just a minute, like limericks, you haven't come to the right place, you've come to the only place.

If you'd like to play the listener limerick challenge, give us a call at 188-WAIT-WAIT.

That's 1-888-9248-924.

Now it's time for a game we call the Trump dump.

New poll edition.

As nothing of any significance is happening in the world right now, this week the president held an elaborate public ceremony to show off two 88-foot-tall flag poles he's had installed at the White House.

So we're going to ask you some questions about this monumental event, rapid fire, true-false, right?

For each right answer, you get a point.

Ready to go?

Here we go.

Hurry, true or false.

On Tuesday, President Trump said, quote, these are the most magnificent polls ever made.

God, it's true.

Right, Rachel, true or false.

He then praised the polls for being tall.

True, true.

Yes, Jeff, true or false.

On Wednesday, he told reporters, quote, these are the best polls anywhere in the country or the world.

Oh my god, it's true.

Yes.

Hurry, true or false.

As workers installed the flagpoles, he said, quote, it's such a beautiful poll.

It's true.

Yes.

It's true, people.

Rachel, true or false, he watched construction workers install the poles for almost an entire hour.

Yes.

Jeff, true or false, the placement of the new poles makes it possible for the presidential helicopter to land on its normal location.

False.

Exactly right.

The polls make it impossible for Marine One, the presidential helicopter, to land in its normal location on the White House lawn.

No one knows where they are now going to land that helicopter.

But that's okay

because we have two great

polls.

Oh, they're beautiful.

The best in the world.

Beautiful polls.

Thanks for playing the Trump Dump Super Poll Edition.

Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news.

Hurry, a corporate exec writing to the New York Times business advice column, said that a job candidate recently brought his what to a job interview.

Snake.

No.

Child.

Yes, actually,

not just his entire family.

A hiring manager was shocked when a potential employee brought, quote, their spouse and several children to a job interview.

Imagine looking to hire someone and walking into the conference room and seeing 12 family members all wearing matching t-shirts saying, Gerald's 30th job interview.

I mean if you if you were to say I really need this job.

Yeah.

My family.

I guess having your family there could help you with some of the questions like when you're asked what your biggest weakness is you can just point at your worst child.

I mean if I were the interviewer I would I would do it.

I would feel guilty.

You really?

Yeah.

I've got hungry mouths not just at home but also right here to feed.

Yeah.

I'd be like, oh, take my money.

Yeah, you're hired.

Yeah.

All of you are hired.

Yes.

Because you're a good person.

Yes, and I also believe in child labor.

Have you guys actually had the classic job interview where you've dressed up and gone in and chatted with somebody?

Yes.

One time I had a job interview and the woman pulled up my Twitter because it was a PR company and whatever my last tweet was about was like something about farting or something and I didn't get the job.

I think it was also like some political stuff that she disagreed with, which honestly I stand by what I said.

But

I'm just going to point out, you don't know what she said.

I was like, everyone, you're getting gone.

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank.

But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme.

If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1888-WAIT WAIT.

That's 1-888-9248-924.

You can come down and see us here most weeks at the Stude Baker Theater in Chicago or catch us on the road this summer.

We'll be in Salt Lake City July 31st and at Tanglewood in Western Massachusetts on August 28th.

Woo indeed.

Woo indeed, my friend.

For tickets and information to all of our live shows, go to nprpresents.org and if that's somehow still not enough of us, well, find us on TikTok.

We're at WaitWait NPR.

Hi, you're on WaitWait, don't tell me.

Hi, everybody.

This is Nina from Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey.

Oh, at the Jersey Shore, right?

That's right.

What do you do there?

I am the director of outreach for the Barnegate Bay Partnership, which is one of 28 national estuary programs in the country designated to restore, educate, and protect about estuaries of national significance.

Wow.

That was the most well-practiced answer I've ever gotten.

I'm very impressed.

I have no more questions.

You pass.

Thank you.

Go on your way.

Well, welcome to the show, Nina.

Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with a last word or phrase missing from each.

If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on just two of the limericks, you'll be a winner.

You ready to go?

Let's do it.

Let us do it.

Here is your first limerick.

The receiver's good.

You'll understand fine.

It's no smartphone, but better than hand signs.

When you type with your thumbs, you get stressed out and dumb.

So instead, we're installing a land.

Land line.

Yes, parents of pre-teen kids who are worried about the downside of smartphones but still want their children to be able to talk to their friends have found an innovative solution.

It's a remarkable kind of telephone

that supports voice-to-voice communication and even better, it's chained to the wall so they can't go anywhere.

The kids don't know how much they are going to love actually talking on the telephone.

Because it's kind of unsatisfying to go, you stop texting first.

No, you stop texting first.

No, you stop texting first.

I just had like a million flashbacks of my parents picking up the phone or my dad like reprimanding who was on the other end.

Like, you say please when you want to speak to my son.

I just.

I don't know if I want to.

Well, actually, no, I wouldn't be reliving it.

I'd be the father.

Right.

Oh, yeah, I'm into this idea.

All right, here is your next limerick.

When the world starts to make a big racket, I zip up in a snug, puffy packet.

Soft sounds from my hood make my REM cycle good.

I nap well with the help of this.

Jacket.

Jacket, yes, it may look like a normal giant puffer coat, but it is the ZZZN sleep apparel system.

A jacket designed to help you go to sleep anywhere you happen to be.

And no, it is not just a normal parker with all the pockets filled with ambient.

So this high-tech sleep system

has built-in audio and lighting to lull you to sleep.

Still awake, no worries.

Call custom will support, and the company will send someone over to knock you out the old-fashioned way.

It looks like a jacket.

Yes.

And it keeps you warm the way a jacket would?

It does, yes.

But it has lots of wires in it.

It does.

I don't know about all this.

Yeah, I don't know.

Well, it does help you sleep by creating a very quiet environment because the moment you put it on, everyone stays 20 feet away from you.

Sweat cocoon.

All right, here is your last limerick.

In hot drizzle, you rinse for an hour.

So your bladder walls weaken their power.

Before grabbing soap, use the toilet, you dope.

It's unhealthy to pee in the

shower.

Right, that's right.

I'm sorry to tell you experts say the thing that 40% of people admit to doing and 100% of people actually do

is bad for your bladder health.

Doctors say that peeing in the shower eventually trains your bladder to just automatically empty when you hear the sound of spraying water.

Now you might think that's ridiculous, right?

No, it couldn't be the case, but then you're at the hair salon

and the stylist says, lean back over the sink so we can wash your hair.

And all of a sudden, you have to double the tip.

What do you do when you have to go and you're in the shower?

Are you supposed to aim it at the toilet?

Turn off the water, hear silence, and then turn it back on once you've gone, I suppose.

That's ridiculous.

I was worried it was going to be something about like standing up, but no, it's just like Pavlovian.

Yeah.

Remember, I mean, we're training your bladder, and you don't want to do that.

But on the other hand, what if you train your bladder to shake and roll over and maybe fetch?

bill how did nina do on our quiz oh she got them all right congratulations

thank you

take care and thanks for playing all right thank you guys bye-bye

This message comes from Schwab.

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Now, on to our final game, Lightning fill-in-the-blank.

Each of our players has 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can.

Each correct answer now worth two points.

Bill, can you give us the scores?

Harry has five.

Rachel and Jeff each have four.

All right.

Hari has five.

Okay.

Rachel and Jeff are tied for second, and you guys are going to go first.

I'm going to arbitrarily pick Rachel.

Here we go.

The clock will start when I begin your first question.

Fill in the blank.

On Wednesday, Israel launched an airstrike against a nuclear facility in Blank.

Tehran.

In Iran, yeah.

And Monday, the Supreme Court upheld Tennessee's ban on blank, affirming care for trans youth.

Um, affirming trans.

Gender-affirming care, right.

This week, NASA said that a giant asteroid has a chance of hitting the blank in 2032.

Earth.

No, sadly, the moon.

Okay.

Damn it.

This week, a monkey in Han.

This week, a monkey in Hong Kong was caught on camera destroying blank.

Cameras.

No, destroying a sign warning people not to feed the monkeys.

On Tuesday the Senate passed an act aimed at regulating Bitcoin and other blanks.

Crypto.

Right, cryptocurrencies.

According to a new lawsuit, weight loss drugs like blank are causing vision loss.

Wigovi?

Yes, and Ozempic.

This week the head of a waste management company in Sweden, once called the Queen of Trash, is headed to prison because she took the trash she was in charge of disposing and blanked.

Uh, sold it.

No, she just left giant piles of it all over Sweden.

Bad girl.

Bad girl.

On Tuesday, Fariba Van Cor, who called herself the queen of trash, was convicted on 19 counts of environmental crimes.

Prosecutors called her waste management business a pyramid scheme.

And they're right in that the giant trash piles she left all over Sweden were kind of pyramid-shaped.

Bill, how did Rachel do in our quiz?

Four right.

Eight more points, total to 12.

Rachel, you did well.

You're in first place.

All right.

Jeff.

Oh, God.

Jeff, you're up next.

Here we go.

Fill in the blank.

According to a new report, by 2034, Blank will not be able to pay out full monthly benefits.

Social Security.

Right, during a routine test, another one of Blank's rockets exploded on the launch pad.

SpaceX?

Right.

This week, Brad Lander, city comproller and one of the mayoral candidates in Blank, was arrested by ICE.

Oh, true?

No, in the, I'm looking for blank.

Oh.

Name of the city.

Oh.

New York?

Right.

On Tuesday, over 200 people waiting for aid in Blank were injured by Israeli fire.

Palestine?

In Gaza, yeah.

This week, a game of disc golf in South Carolina was interrupted when a blank fell from the sky and onto the course.

An asteroid?

No.

A shark.

Oh!

You know what?

Shame on me.

Shame on me.

On Tuesday, the owner of the L.A.

Dodgers agreed to buy majority ownership of the L.A.

Blanks for $10 billion.

Lakers?

Yes, the Lakers.

According to a new study, regularly smoking blank may be worse for your heart than cocaine.

Marijuana?

Marijuana, right.

This week, a man in Texas was shocked to discover that his ex had secretly blanked after they broke up.

Died.

No, had secretly married him after they broke up.

According to police, the woman somehow convinced a pastor to certify a wedding certificate without the man being there, which she then filed with the county clerk.

So they're married.

The man only found out about it because his wife mailed him a copy of the marriage certificate along with, this is true, a gift bag from Bath and Body Works.

Insult to injury.

I know.

Bill, how did Jeff do in our quiz?

Jeff, this is hard to believe for a newbie, but you got six right, 12 more points, 16 for Q and the Yay!

So, how many does Hari need to win?

Six.

Go for it, Hari.

Here we go.

Six to win.

Here we go, Harry.

This is for the game.

On Thursday, President Trump once again delayed the ban on social media at Blank.

TikTok.

Right.

This week, the National Weather Service warned of record-breaking temperatures as a blank dome covers the U.S.

Heat Dome, yes, heat dome.

On Monday, a recall order was placed on some brands of ready-to-eat fettuccine alfredo, linked to a blank outbreak.

E.

coli?

Listeria.

After multiple thefts of their street signs, residents of Blank Road in the U.K.

are demanding police take action.

Abby?

No, Daddy Hole Road.

On Tuesday, the Florida Panthers won their second consecutive blank cup.

Samley Cup.

Cheated.

Later on Tuesday, the Florida Panthers cracked and dented their blank cups.

Samley Cup.

Right, following a number of dangerous incidents, a shopping center in the UK has imposed a speed limit on blank.

Shopping carts.

No mobility scooters.

After a shocking number of collisions and near misses, the Idlewell Shopping Center in the UK announced a four-mile-an-hour speed limit on all mobility scooters.

We can't wait until someone's caught speeding, tries to make a run for it, and a chase breaks out between a mobility scooter and a security guard doing a brisk walk.

Bill, did Harry do well enough to win?

He got four rights for eight more points, total of 13.

Jeff is the winner.

Oh, my goodness!

First time guitar.

Wow.

You know, I'm the first one here, and I'm the last one to leave.

In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict what will be Jeff Bezos' favorite wedding present.

But first, let me tell you: Wait, Wait on Tell me is a production of NPR and WB Easy Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord.

Philip Godeker writes our limericks.

Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman.

Our tour manager is Shana Donald.

Thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theater, BJ Lederman composed our theme.

Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Grimboss, and Lillian King.

Special thanks to Mohammed El-Sheikhi and Monica Hickey.

Peter Gwynn is our flagpole installer.

Emma Choi is our vibe curator.

Technical direction is from Lorna White.

Her CFO is Colin Miller.

Our production manager is Robert Newhouse.

Our senior producer is Ian Schillock.

And the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Michael Danforth.

Now, panel what will be Jeff Bezos' favorite wedding present he gets next week.

Hari Kandabolu.

A pre-nuptial agreement for his first marriage.

Rachel Coster.

He's going to get his first kiss.

And Jeff Hiller.

A space trip for the boys.

Well, if any of that happens, panel, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, No, Tell Make.

Thank you, Bill Curtis.

Thanks also to Harry Cundobolu, Rachel Coster, and Jeff Hiller.

And thanks to all of you for listening.

I'm Peter Sager.

We'll see you next week.

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