WWDTM: Reneé Rapp

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From NPR and WBEC Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me the NPR News Quiz.

I'm the voice so big it won't fit in the overhead compartment.

Bill Curtis.

And here is your host at the Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.

Thank you, Bill.

Thank you, everybody.

Great to be back home.

And, you know,

it's early fall in Chicago.

It's really the best time here.

We got bright skies, cool breezes off the lake.

We got both football and baseball.

And we just want to give a big warm welcome to all the visiting National Guardsmen from Texas and Oklahoma.

Hey everybody, welcome.

No, no.

We love them.

Just everybody have a great time.

Enjoy yourselves and make sure you order ketchup on your hot dogs.

We love when you do that.

Later on, we're going to be talking to actor and pop star Renee Rapp, but first we want to hear your singing.

So give us a call.

The number is 1888-WATEWAIT.

That's 1-888-924-8924.

Let's welcome our first listener contestant.

Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Hi, I'm Abby.

I'm calling from Chicago.

Hey!

What do you do here in the greatest city in the world?

I am a flight attendant.

Oh, wow.

Wow.

Yeah.

What is the number one annoyance to flight attendants such as yourself?

Oh, God.

I think it has to be the shoes and socks off.

Oh!

But like, why it's under like two hours?

Like, we don't need to be that comfortable.

Right.

But.

Well, thank you for your service, Abby.

Let me introduce you to our panel this week.

First off, say hello to the writer of the style memo newsletter for the Washington Post.

It's Shane O'Neill.

Hello, Abby.

How are you?

Good.

Next, we welcome back the founder of the Freeville Literary Society and Free Cinema.

Her asking Amy newsletter is on Substack.

It's Amy Dickinson.

Hi, Abby.

Hi.

And a comedian you can see at the Beale Street Theater in Kingman, Arizona, September 27th, and at Grand Comedy Club in San Diego, October 4th.

It's Alonzo Bowden.

Hello, Abby.

So, Abby, you're going to play Who's Bill this time?

Bill Curtis, of course, is going to read you three quotations from this week's news.

If you can correctly identify or explain two of them, you you will win our prize.

Any voice from our show you might choose for your voicemail.

Are you ready to go?

I think so, yeah.

All right, here we go.

Your first quote is from Vladimir Putin, caught on a hot mic at a big summit this week, talking about wellness.

Human organs can be continuously transplanted.

People could even become immortal.

That was just one of the creepy things overheard as Putin talked with what other world leader at their big summit in Beijing this week?

Ooh.

I might need a hit.

Well, it was in Beijing and he was talking to another world leader.

Xi Jinping.

The president of China.

Yeah, Xi Jinping, president of China.

They got together.

They got together without us.

A lot of people got worried.

When the U.S.'s two biggest global enemies met in an unprecedented show of unity, would they gang up on us?

So it is reassuring that apparently all they talked about was harvesting our organs so that they could stay in power forever.

When you talk about not reading a room, you have leaders that nobody wants around tomorrow talking about how to live forever.

And you have to remember, they were doing all this weird talk about like organ harvesting through a translator, of course, right?

You should have seen like this translator's face when Putin said, no, you need a nice, youthful donor, like this guy here.

Do you think that they knew the mic was on, and this was just a beautiful troll of Trump?

Like, they're talking about how to live forever, and he's not there.

Do you know how much that would drive him nuts?

We do know that our president is jealous of those guys, so maybe he's trying to get in on this.

In fact, that's what it turns out they were throwing out the residents at the White House, throwing out the windows.

It was Trump's old organs.

I mean, I would like to hear Vladimir Putin saying, fame, I'm gonna live forever.

I'm gonna learn how to fly.

Hi!

The New York Times article on this points out that there is no evidence that replacing a person's organs one by one can in fact extend a person's life, which is why Putin is planning to surprise some lucky person and do it all at once.

All right, Abby, here is your next quote.

It's about new research into a habit that many of us have.

Just one one more episode.

Just one more episode.

That was Science Blog summing up a new study, a real one, that finds out that what habit is actually good for you.

Binge watching?

Binge watching, yes!

It's good for you.

Sitting on the couch and binge-watching TV for hours at a time is good for your health.

This is great news.

Bed sores are the new abs.

So this study had to be funded by Netflix and probably, yes.

MentorDash, yes.

It's an interesting collaboration in silence.

No, the idea, all right, follow along here, is that binge-watching entire series of TV, rather than just like little TikToks or intermittent episodes, it helps you imagine complicated alternate narratives to get involved in that can help you escape or give context through the pains of your daily life, right?

So, for example, is your boss just incredibly annoying?

Why not take just a long mental stroll down the happy corridors of severance

or you know if you're tired of uh dressing like a human being you can watch Emily and Paris and get all sorts of exactly yeah

but now that we know that binge watching is good for you it's ruined it's like one more thing we have to be guilty about not doing oh man I need to get in my 10,000 minutes of screen time

sorry I wasn't paying attention I just heard binging was good for you and I was texting my dealers I understand I understand

do Americans need another reason to lay on the couch all day?

Like, aren't we good enough at that without another saying, yeah, this is really good for me?

Can't you just say I'm an American and just lay down?

Mine.

Exactly.

Just own it.

Just lay down.

You don't need an excuse.

I mean, my brain is so rotted from TikTok that, like, when I watch a full 30 minutes of cops, I'm like, yeah, good for me.

Yeah, good for me.

I have achieved something.

All right, Abby, your last quote is actually a 1970 review of a classic Bob Dylan album titled Self-Portrait.

What is this crap?

That was just one of the reviews cited by a writer in the New Yorker this week who's arguing that critics these days need to be what?

Meaner.

Yes, meaner.

Critics need to get...

Mean again.

According to the New Yorker's music critic, Khalef Asana, that talent hack,

he's absolutely right.

The main problem with the world right now is that everybody is just too nice.

But you know, I agree, like lots of criticism, so-called, you know, critics, they really just tell you the story.

You know, it's been ages since I've read, well, probably since my last book came out, but I've read a real

slam.

A real slam.

It's true.

I don't know about other critics.

I can say in sports, this has happened.

Like, Stephen A.

Smith has brought in this thing of the sports caster, sports announcer, whatever, being so critical.

And the problem is, you didn't play.

Right.

How can you tell somebody whether they're good at it or not?

You haven't been there.

I mean, as a counter to that, I occasionally will critique things or write reviews of things.

I would say, shut up.

Yeah, shut up.

All right, well, you shut up.

No, you shut up.

You shut up.

This is the good old days.

There we go.

This is the Algonquin roundtable.

Exactly, pretty much.

That's just what it was like.

Part of the problem these days, of course, is the online community of fans and how mean they can be, right?

For example, this is true.

The music magazine PACE wrote a scathing review of Taylor Swift's recent album, The Tortured Poets Department, but they refused to admit who wrote it because they were afraid of retaliation against that person by Swifties.

That's true.

They do not mess.

I mean, really, you don't mess with Swifties.

Absolutely not.

They are vicious, and if they ever found out who wrote the line, and this is real from that review, quote, Sylvia Plath did not stick her head in an oven for this,

unquote,

we'd have the first ever person in the witness protection program for music criticism.

Wow.

Bill, how did Abby do in our quiz?

Our flight attendant hit 30,000 feet and she hasn't come down yet.

Is that good?

That sounds good.

That's the winner.

Well done, Abby.

Thank you.

Bye-bye.

Right now, panel, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news.

Amy, saying they will use drones, dogs, and even lasers, the city council in California thinks they finally have a plan to manage what?

It has...

It has to be about toddlers.

It isn't.

Hey.

Dogs.

It is an animal.

They came from the north, from Canada.

Geese.

Geese.

For years, Foster City, California has been trying to get the Canada geese out of its parks.

Canada geese, as I'm sure you all know, poop every 20 minutes.

They have

horrible attitudes.

They're the bird that makes you think, you know, God does make mistakes.

So now the city has come up with a solution after many years.

They've got a big, elaborate plan.

It uses drones, dogs, and lasers.

They're hoping to make the parks inhospitable to geese they're calling the plan non-lethal but when asked about that they said oh no you mean for the geese oh no we're killing them

when geese are pooping all over your city and not the neighboring cities you might want to look at your city that's true

like what are we doing that the geese have found us such a nice target

i just love that the plan was hatched they were like we got to solve this geese problem we're going to ask the weird kid from sixth grade for a plan yeah like we're going to use lasers and dogs and drones and robot dogs.

Shoot them all with the lasers.

The dogs have lasers, and the drones have dogs.

Yeah, that's what we're gonna do.

I'm actually doing that

coming up.

Do the right thing in our bluff the listener game called 1888-WaitWait Devlight.

We'll be back in a minute with more of WaitWait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.

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From NPR of WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR news quiz.

I'm Bill Curtis.

We are playing this week with Shane O'Neill, Amy Dickinson, and Alonzo Bowden.

And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.

Thank you, Bill, and thank you, everybody.

Right now, it's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff the Listener game call 1 888, Wait, Wait to play our game on the air.

How you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Hi, this is Clark Greger from Plymouth, Minnesota.

Oh, Plymouth, Minnesota.

I know it.

What do you do there?

Oh, well, I'm on the city council, and I love to be outside in our parks where we also have geese.

You do?

And, but you're Minnesota nice.

You would never use, like, lasers, drones, and dogs and the geese, would you?

Never, no.

No.

Well,

I love Minnesota.

Clark, welcome to the show.

You're going to play our game in which you have to tell truth from fiction.

Bill, what is Clark's topic?

Good Samaritan in the news.

Sometimes a hero steps forward to help when no one else will, which is great because I certainly want to do it.

I'm busy.

Our panelists are going to tell you about a good Samaritan we found in the news this week.

Pick the one who's telling the truth and you will win our prize, the weight waiter of your choice in your voicemail.

You ready to play?

I sure am.

All right, first let's hear from Amy Dickinson.

Mariana Komjanovic and Jim Classen are a retired couple living in rural British Columbia whose phone started ringing off the hook last spring.

And these strangers calling them from all across Canada wanted to know one thing.

How do I use my new grill?

The couple figured out that the Napoleon Grill Company has mistakenly listed their telephone number on their customer support page.

But instead of complaining, well, they just answered the questions for six months.

They gave out grilling advice, technical fixes that they had researched themselves, and genially shot the breeze about rural life in Canada and, I suppose how the Oilers were doing this year.

So eventually the grill company sorted out the glitch, but in recognition for their faithful service, they named the couple Honorary Customer Service Ambassadores and gave them a brand new grill.

And what are they doing with it?

They're hosting the staff of Napoleon Grills to a cookout.

Now that's service.

A couple in Canada who unwittingly became the customer support line for a grill company and just went ahead and did it.

Your next story of somebody doing the right thing comes from Alonzo Bowden.

Andy Keene loved the gym.

He loved the workout, the vibe, and of course the results.

What he couldn't stand was lazy people not putting their weights away.

Nothing was more frustrating than getting a 25-pound dumbbell and having to search for the other one, so Andy decided to do something about it.

He started putting the weights away.

He soon realized he was getting a full-body workout just carrying weights back to the racks.

His good deed was paying off.

Soon his entire workout routine was cleaning the gym.

He was even picking up treadmills to get rid of the dust bunnies underneath.

The man was yoked and soon his gains were an inspiration to many.

His habit was picked up when someone posted on Instagram, look at this guy being so considerate at the gym.

Something that's never been said before.

Now cleaning up the gym is the new hot fitness trend.

Andy says it's a problem because now all the weights are already put away.

So his next goal is cardio while returning shopping carts from the grocery store parking lot.

A man

starts putting the weights back at the gym and creates a whole new fitness craze.

Your last story of people helping people comes from Shane O'Neill.

Skip Lindstrom of Racing, Wisconsin, had noticed that some of his neighbors were having a hard time keeping up their front yards.

I grew up on this block and keeping a neat lawn was always a point of pride for us, Skip said.

Then he added unprompted, also, don't you wish it were Christmas every single day?

You see, Skip is kind of a Christmas freak, but he also likes helping his neighbors.

So Skip started knocking on his neighbors' doors.

I'd say, hey, let me tidy up your lawn, and they'd say, sorry, I can't afford to help.

And I'd say, no, no, no, I'll do it for free.

Also, don't you wish it were Christmas every single day?

For neighbors in need, Skip will mow your lawn, pull weeds, trim edges, and prune bushes.

All he asks in return is permission to decorate your house in Christmas lights that will stay up year-round.

I don't much care for Christmas, said Roger Elroy, standing next to a seven-foot inflatable Santa Claus on an 85-degree day in late August.

But for free lawn care?

Yeah, I guess.

One by one, everyone on the block got on board.

Now, Skip is finally mounting his most ambitious design yet.

Giant letters tacked onto the facade of every house on that block that spell out Christmas every day.

It's a labor of love, but it's cutting into the time he has for landscaping.

In fact, several of the lawns on his block are starting to look a little overgrown.

All right, so here are your stories.

Of somebody doing the right thing for once.

Is it from Amy Dickinson, a couple in Canada who unwittingly became the customer service agents for a grill company and just kept it up?

From Alonzo Bowden, a guy who started picking up the weights in his own gym and started a whole new fitness craze by doing so.

Or from Shane O'Neill, a Wisconsin man who took care of everybody's lawn just in return for it being Christmas every day.

Which of these is the real story of somebody doing good?

Well, I'm tempted by the Wisconsin man, but I think that the couple in Vancouver are more Minnesota nice, so I'm going to go with them.

Yeah, and there is a strong bond between Canada nice and Minnesota nice, so I can see how you went there.

You betcha.

Oh, yeah.

Oh yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

All right.

Well to see if you're right, let's listen to this.

It is actually one of the do-gooders themselves.

We were actually getting sometimes up to 20 phone calls a day.

That was Mariana Kamlinovich.

Talking to the CBC about her time as a part-time grill fixer.

Congratulations, Clark.

You got it right.

You earned a point for Amy just for telling the truth.

And you've won our prize, The Voice of Your Choice, and Your Voicemail.

Well done, sir.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

Thank you for playing with us today.

Take care.

Call me, it's okay.

It's okay to call me.

Call me, it's okay.

It's okay to call me.

Call me, it's okay.

And now the game we call Not My Job, singer and actor Renee Rapp starred as the meanest Mean Girl, Regina George, in the musical movie version of Mean Girls.

She's also released a hit album of her own songs.

And if you want to know what she thinks of her sudden, deserved, massive fame as a pop star, her latest album is called Bite Me.

Renee Rapp, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Thank you.

I'm so excited to talk to you.

I loved you in the Mean Girls movie.

I loved your first album.

But mainly, I am so excited to know that an absolute genuine double A grade pop star was a theater kid.

Yeah, yeah, it's my roots.

It is.

It's my roots.

Like, how young were you when you first got into theater?

I wasn't really into theater

immediately.

I was

always

a huge fan of pop stars and a huge fan of singers and musicians.

And then

I was just so, I think, annoying to be around for my family that they were like, well, you would do well in the theater.

Really?

And they were right.

Yes.

So, and also,

you'll have rehearsal late into the evening, so we won't see anything.

Exactly.

Yes, I can't, I can't, you know, I can't be around for too long, which was nice.

But I did, I missed a lot because I was in theater.

I missed the death of my first pet.

I missed the death of my hamster.

My mom had to brave that on her own because I was in a thrilling production of Annie.

Did the sun come up the next day, Renee?

Just ask.

The sun absolutely came out tomorrow, and I took myself back to that damn tin bucket and did a hard knock life ten times better and in lieu of my hamster's death.

Wow.

I love that even at 10, you were able to take that tragedy of the loss of your hamster and transform it into art.

Absolutely.

I was like, how can I make this about myself?

Your first album, Snow Angels, came out a few years ago.

Massive hit.

Your new album out this summer is called Bite Me

and And it has songs, these are just the titles that you wrote the lyrics to, Mad, Leave Me Alone, Why Is She Still Here?

I can't have you around me anymore, and I think I like you better when you're gone.

So, Renee, we just met, but is everything okay?

No.

No.

At the time, no, not at all.

I was, um, I was just at such a point in my life where everyone felt so, um,

how do you say it?

Like, politely.

Everyone was just so annoying to be around.

And I was so fed up with myself.

I was fed up with my, like, work life.

I was like, I don't have fun anymore.

And I wanted to write an album that was like, I want everyone to get and stay the hell away from me.

And I kind of did exactly that.

Like, it is just, it is thematically the title.

Fight now.

Just.

Yeah.

I was like, because I can't say like, you know, I'm not really sure if I can cuss, but so if you need to pleat me out, it's okay.

I can't really say like get the f off my back in a title, because then like everything is going to censor me, you know, and then that just won't sell, girl.

So I had to

find a

way.

I'm glad you, you, you leavened your rage and bitterness with a little bit of commercial sense.

I think that's.

Exactly.

Yeah.

Exactly.

People say that I'm not media trained.

That's censored.

So watch it.

Okay.

It's an amazing record, and the songs are stunning and fun and crazy and great, and I recommend it to everybody.

I want to ask you one more thing.

You were on Stephen Colbert recently, and you talked about, I was deeply surprised, because I thought I knew you from your work, about your massive crush on Mark Cuban.

Whoa!

The billionaire.

Whoa, whoa.

I know.

I understand that this doesn't really seem like my thing.

No.

You know, it's a boy.

For one thing.

I have like a very specific brand of like that age of like white boy that like really does it for me for some reason.

Like there's like a thing there that they do that I'm super into.

Like it's kind of like he to me is the equivalent to like Jason Sudeikis on Ted Lasso.

And then there's this other guy who also is kind of in that.

I'm forgetting his name off the top of my head, but he plays like the evil

brother in game of thrones he's cersey lana so you know the incest he's the boy oh that guy yeah okay i know who you mean so nicholas coster waldo that guy love

you know what yes i'm so obsessed with him i saw him at a game one time i think

I went up to him and like he didn't even get a word.

I was like, love you.

You're so cute.

There's something about you that really gets me going and walked away immediately.

So they fall in that category of like that bracket of white men.

Like I love them and there's so few middle-aged men that I like.

Sure.

I don't mean to be presumptuous here, but like these are all middle-aged men with full heads of hair wearing like dark suits.

If you squint, those are just butch lesbians.

Butch lesbians with jobs, girl.

That's what I like.

That's what I like.

Well, it is an absolute joy to talk to you, Renee, and we have in fact asked you here to play a game we're calling Bite Me, Edward Cullen.

Please bite me.

So your new album,

as we have mentioned, your new album is called Bite Me, which of course immediately reminded us of the Twilight Vampire Saga.

Answer three questions about those moody, damp vampires.

Oh, God.

No, and you will win a prize for one of our listeners, the voice of anyone from our show they might choose for their voicemail.

Bill, who is Renee Rapp playing for?

Jack Cohens of Denver, Colorado.

Okay.

Okay.

I just have to ask, before we get started,

I think you're in the right demographic for her.

Were you a fan of the Twilight saga at any time?

I loved Twilight as a kid.

Rob Hatson also goes in that.

I loved Twilight as a kid.

I cannot tell you the last time I watched Twilight, though.

All right.

Yeah.

Here's your first question, Renee.

Twilight takes place, the books and eventually the movie, in the very real town of Forks, Washington, which has been a tourist destination ever since the first book Twilight was published.

Author Stephanie Meyer knew the book had to be set in Forks, Washington.

Why?

A, she was paid to do so by the Forks, Washington Chamber of Commerce and Tourist Bureau.

B, she googled rainiest place in the U.S.

and it was what came up.

Or C, her plan was to set the sequel book in Spoons, Washington, then Knives, and finally Sporks.

I love a spork, but I think that,

like B,

that feels like something a writer would do.

It is something that that writer, in fact, did.

Because

I'm up, yes.

She's writing about vampires.

Vampires don't like sunlight, so why wouldn't they live in the rainiest, cloudiest place they could find?

Here is your next question.

In addition to the town of Forks, the Twilight Books made an unexpected star out of somebody else.

Who was it?

A, the books editor whose note, why not just make mummies sexy, was accidentally published in the first edition.

B, a man whose real name was Edward Cullen, who was cast in a reality dating show called Searching for My Bella Swan.

Or C, the hand model holding an apple on the cover of the books who spun her fame into an apple-scented hand lotion brand called Hands of Twilight.

The third one sounds ridiculous.

Like the hand thing, but that's so prominent on the cover.

Yes.

And a good hand goes a long way.

So maybe the third one?

You're right again, Renee, that's what happened.

We all remember that the cover of the books has hands holding an apple of various kinds, and sure, that woman went on to have a sort of semi-famous career.

although in a New York magazine profile, it said of her, quote, she doesn't understand why she's not more famous.

I quote, of course, of course, that is something only a hand model would say.

You're right.

All right, you're doing really well, Renee.

We have one more question for you.

The first screenplay for the movie adaptation of the first book, Twilight, was thrown out.

and replaced with a version that was much closer to the book.

That's what got made.

That's a bit of a shame because the abandoned screenplay included which of these scenes?

A Bella revealing her father was Frankenstein's monster.

B Bella riding a jet ski being chased by the FBI.

Or C, a climactic scene as the vampires attack the Red Cross's largest blood bank.

Oh my god.

Okay, once again, I see it all, even the jet ski.

Sure.

I'm kind of liking that.

I'm liking that, because I'm not sure that I know enough about Blue Cross Blue Shield.

So let's go with the Jeff Steve.

You're right again, Renee.

Very good.

So

in that original scene, big chase scenes, lots of action.

In that script, Bella also blows away vampires with a shotgun for some reason.

It turns out that the studio was told, or they had the idea, let's make this more appealing to boys.

Anyway.

Love.

Love it.

Bill, how did Renee Rapp do in our quiz?

I can't believe it, but she got them all right.

What a winner!

You're amazing!

Renee Rapp's fabulous new album is Bite Me.

She's on tour supporting it this fall.

See her if you can.

Renee Rapp, thank you so much for joining us on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

What a pleasure to talk to you.

Bye-bye.

Take care.

Thank you, guys.

Thanks, Renee.

Thank you.

In just a minute, your goldfish has a secret.

Find out what it is in our listener limerick challenge called 1888 WaitWait to join us on the air.

We'll be back in a minute with more of WaitWait Don't Tell Me from NPR.

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From NPR and WBEC Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me the NPR News Quiz.

I'm Bill Kirby.

We are playing this week with Alonzo Bowden, Shane O'Neal, and Amy Dickinson.

And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.

Thank you, Bill.

Thanks, everybody.

In just a minute, due to recent cuts to NPR funding, we can no longer afford complete limericks, so we are relying on you to finish them for us.

If you'd like to play, give us a call.

1888-WAIT WAIT, that's 1-888-924-8924.

But right now, panel, some questions for you from the week's news.

Alonzo, this week the Washington Post reported on what they call familect.

Familect is like a dialect, but it's only spoken among whom?

Family members.

Right, family members, right?

We all have this.

According to linguists, families often develop their own secret language or familect.

You know, usually it's words or phrases only understandable to the family.

It's a way of making fun of a toddler's speech impediment for the rest of his natural life.

I always thought sit down and shut up was universal.

Really?

I never took it as just my family was giving those instructions, but I guess so.

I thought you were talking about accents coming from families.

Oh, me like.

Well, like, my sister, she has like a pretty non-regional accent when she's talking to adults, but every time she yells at her kids, she'll be like, so anyway, this week at the bank, you get back here right now, Lucy.

So then I said, blah, blah, blah.

Like, it only comes out when she's yelling.

It's the familect.

The famile.

The familect also sounds like a dairy replacement product.

True.

It's disgusting.

Shane, this week's viral office dispute that everybody is arguing over is whether it is okay to do what while eating your lunch in the office.

Sit at your desk?

No, everybody does that.

It's not a problem.

Say, guess what I'm eating?

You're getting closer.

But let me demonstrate.

If I were doing it, it would be like, now I am opening up the Tupperware.

Ooh, get a load of that lovely, fishy smell.

What, narrating?

Narrating their lunch.

Yes.

A Reddit poster asked people if

the poster was in the wrong for telling a coworker that her habit of doing play-by-play for her own lunch was annoying.

The woman, the coworker, says things like, and these are all true, or at least allegedly true from the poster, mmm, spicy little pickle today.

And

what's that?

You're just a sad sandwich?

Don't worry, I'm going to eat you anyway.

Okay, let's give this baby carrot a crunch.

Okay, but does she stop at lunch or in the afternoons?

Is she like, I'm pretending to type, but I'm shopping.

Shane, people across the country are lining up around the block to get into bars just to take what?

Just to take a break from the heat, to get a little bit more

a handful of peanuts.

No.

Just to

take some time to check in on your local bartender.

Not so sweet.

I'll give you a hint.

No, none of those things are right.

It's like people are like, wow, how'd you get your eyes closed in all four pictures?

People are lining up for bars to take group photos?

In a...

Oh, in a photo booth.

Yes, in photo booths.

Vintage photo booths are back.

They're popping up in bars, restaurants, freestanding on sidewalks.

They're everywhere.

This is not a surprise if you've been to anyone's apartment ever and looked at their fridge.

The photos are great because they're just blurry enough to make everyone look amazing.

And you can always look back in the memory of being like, after picture three, we didn't really know what to do.

Oh, you never know.

Yeah, no, it's like.

That last picture.

You've done

all your great stuff.

That's when I take off my shirt.

Oh, there you go.

Me too.

I actually checked into a hotel in Salt Lake City recently.

Yes.

And after I finished checking in, they were like, and if you want, you get one free strip at the photo booth.

And I could not imagine anything more depressing than taking a photo booth by

all alone.

That's because they can't drink.

That's what that's about.

You got to make do.

You got to make do.

That's considered a crazy night in Salt Lake.

Oh, yeah.

Woo!

Look, oh, look, honey, we went out, got a little nutty, made a graven image of ourselves.

Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank.

But first, it's the game where you have to listen to the rhyme.

If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 188-WAIT-WAIT.

That's 1-888-924-8924.

You can see us most weeks right here at the Stude Baker Theater in Chicago, or you can catch us.

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Thank you for coming.

You can also catch us on the road.

We'll be in St.

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Tickets and info are at nprpresents.org.

Hi, Iron.

Wait, wait, don't tell me.

Hi, this is Heidi from Detroit.

Hey, Heidi from Detroit, one of my favorite places.

What do you do there?

I'm a pediatrics resident with Authority Health at Children's Hospital, Michigan.

Oh, wow.

Oh, man.

Yeah, you're you, yeah, I'm gonna make fun of that, aren't I?

Yeah, okay.

What do you do for fun?

I play violin.

I hang out with my kids.

I don't know.

I teach my dog how to talk with buttons.

Whoa.

Oh, so you're you're you like buy into that theory that you can teach your pets to talk by pressing buttons?

Well, he asks us for a toothbrush after he has his food.

He asks to go on walks, to go outside to go to the bathroom.

He knows the difference between poop and pee.

Wow.

Has he ever like, I don't know, insulted you?

Yes.

Really, how?

Well, we used to have a lot more buttons.

And one time

I was,

yeah, they got removed.

And he was being a little obnoxious and asking for treats.

And I told him no.

And then he pressed the mom button, and then he told me to go outside.

Oh!

Wow.

Oh, my.

Wow.

Wow.

That's amazing.

Heidi, welcome to the show.

Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with a last word or phrase missing from each.

If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in two of the limericks, you'll be a winner.

You ready to play?

Of course.

Here we go.

Here's your first limerick.

When day's ending or barely begun, don't gaze at the skies just for fun.

That act is unwise.

It scorches your eyes.

It's bad just to stare at the...

Sun.

Right, exactly right.

Millions of people are apparently into the new trend of sun gazing by replacing their morning coffee with staring directly into the sun.

Proponents on TikTok naturally claim it increases your energy, boosts your serotonin, and improves your sleep.

Plus, plus, now you're blind and can stay home from work.

Oh,

that's insane.

It is pretty nuts.

Practitioners say sungazing is an ancient Egyptian practice.

They're all dead.

They're all dead, though.

Yeah, look at that one.

So is marrying your sister.

It's true.

Here is your next limerick.

The chest in my tank holds much treasure.

There's joy there that's far beyond measure.

There's fish there to grim me and shudders rush through me.

We fish can enjoy immense

pleasure?

Pleasure, yes, yes.

Fish

experience pleasure and seek it out.

I honestly can't tell if it makes me feel better or worse

about eating tuna now that I know it's spent its life on a thrilling, erotic journey.

So here's what happened.

Scientists observed that fish who had their parasites cleaned off by these other cleaner fish kept returning to the same spot in the reef even when they no longer had parasites, leading scientists to believe that their behavior was driven solely by the pleasure of the experience.

They're into it.

Well, we found Nemo, but you're not going to like when we tell you where.

All right, here's your last limerick.

Wax drips look like marks from a vandal, and the flames can be awkward to handle.

But flickering light makes our food look just bright.

So some restaurants brought back the

candle.

Yes, the candle.

Candles, real candles with real flames are coming back to restaurants.

Great news for Romantics, horrible news for anyone in long, billowing sleeves.

Restaurant owners owners are getting rid of those like fake electric little lights, right?

Tea lights embracing the real flame.

They say nothing else can set an ambiance quite like a real candle.

Sure, it gets wax all over the table, but now you can immediately know if your date is a heavy breather.

And as an older person who went on some first dates, I heartily endorse candlelight.

Let me just say that.

I look much better.

Yes, much better.

And the date does too.

Well, that's why I always just turn on the flashlight on my my phone, just to make sure on the first one.

You want to know what complexion is.

I remember when I was a kid, I thought like one of those Chianti bottles with the endless amount of wax was like the height of fashion.

Yeah, total class.

I remember trying to make one at home so I could have a little romantic dinner if anybody would ever deign to date me.

But you were doing it out of like a milk cart and something.

Probably, yeah, it didn't really work.

Bell, how did Heidi do on our quiz?

Heidi was a close listener and a perfect score.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

going to be able to do it?

Thank you so much for playing.

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Now it is time for our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank.

Each of our players love 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can.

Each correct answer now worth two points.

Bill, can you give us the scores?

I think I can.

Shane and Amy each have three.

Alonzo has two.

Okay.

That means that, Alonzo, you are in second place, so you are going to go first.

Here we go.

The clock will start when I begin your first question, fill-in-the-blank.

Following upheavals at the CDC, Blank was called to testify before a Senate panel.

RFK Jr.

Right, on Thursday, Washington, D.C.

sued the White House over its deployment of blank troops in the district.

National Guard.

Right, for the first time in four years, there are fewer blanks than there are job seekers.

Jobs.

Yeah, job openings.

On Thursday, President Trump asked the Supreme Court to overturn a ruling calling most of his global blanks illegal.

Tariffs.

Right.

This week, clothing company Sheehan said they would launch an investigation to discover why their website featured Blank modeling a shirt.

Trump?

No, accused murderer Luigi Mangioni.

He didn't really.

It was AI.

On Wednesday, Newsmax sued Blanks, claiming it holds a monopoly on right-wing TV.

Fox.

Right, Fox News.

This week, visitors to Gambling Capital Blank dropped for the sixth straight month.

Las Vegas.

Las Vegas following a car crash in Los Angeles, the ambulance transporting the victim also crashed and then the crash investigator arriving at the scene to assist the crash to ambulance blanked.

Wait, the

car crash?

Car crash, ambulance crash, car crash.

Investigator showed up and crashed.

Exactly.

After an ambulance crashed attempting to transport victims of another crash, the LA Fire Department rushed to the scene and promptly crashed.

No, that was Fast and Furious 12.

Exactly, never mind.

Oh, no, sorry.

You gave it away, Peter.

Yeah.

That was funny.

I was like, that guy looks just like Vin Diesel.

I should have known.

Bill, how did Alonzo do in our quiz?

Perfect.

Seven right.

14 more points.

16.

Very nicely done.

Hard to catch.

All right.

Let's pick Amy to go next.

Here we go, Amy, fill in the blank.

On Tuesday, Florida announced plans to end all blank requirements for school children.

Immunization.

Right, vaccine.

Amid mounting pressure, the House Oversight Committee released more documents related to blank.

Jeffrey Epstein.

Right, on Monday, the U.S.

conducted a strike against a boat allegedly used by a cartel from Blank.

Venezuela.

Right, this week a citizen watchdog group created to prevent pickpocketing in Venice was sued by blank for harassment.

Pickpockets.

Right, on Tuesday, long-running sketch show Blank announced five new cast members.

SNL?

Yes, Saturday Night Live.

On Wednesday, the prize for winning the blank grew to an estimated $1.7 billion.

A lottery?

Well, I'll give it to you: the powerball.

This week, a man in New Jersey went viral after he was filmed blanking at a town hall meeting.

Blanking.

He was actually blanking.

You know, he was.

We had many people to do that.

This guy was break dancing

during a town hall meeting on tax questions.

A man named Will Philly got up to the podium and silently started doing the robot and then a backspin.

Best part of the article about this is: when he finished, Philly gestured for applause but received none.

Wow.

And then he did the sad robot.

Bill, how did Amy do in our quiz?

Some big scores.

Six, right?

12 more points, and total of 15 trails by only one.

All right, so how many then does Shane need to take this and win it all?

Seven.

Seven.

That's a big, big order here, Shane.

Here we go.

This is the game.

On Wednesday, a judge ruled that it was illegal for the White House to suspend federal funding to Blank University, Harvard, right?

In a landmark antitrust ruling, search giant Blank was told it will not have to sell off its Chrome web browser.

Google.

Right, this week the governors of California, Washington, and Oregon formed an alliance to help coordinate health guidelines separate from the blank.

CBC?

Right, according to a new study, eating foods with artificial blanks can age the brain by a year and a half.

Uh, colors?

Sweeteners.

Sweeteners is right.

After almost two years on the job, Blank stepped down as the head of McDonald's in the UK.

Mr.

McDonald.

No.

A highly skilled professional executive named Zoe Hamburger.

This week, the company behind Jack Daniels said they saw a 60% drop in sales thanks to a boycott in blank.

Partying.

Oh, a

boycott in Kentucky?

I don't know.

No, Canada.

They're not buying our stuff.

On Thursday, legendary fashion designer Blank passed away at the age of 91.

Rest in peace, Armani.

Yes, this week a couple in the UK were stunned when, for the second time in a month, their lost cat was discovered in blank.

Mr.

McDonald's house.

No, discovered in a pub 30 miles away from their house.

Walking 30 miles to a bar twice is a commitment, but who can blame it?

Not everybody knows how to pour milk just right.

Bill, did Shane do well enough to win?

Well, he got five rights, ten more points, total of 13.

Alonso wins.

Yay, Alonzo!

A rare occurrence.

Thank you.

In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict, now that we've heard from She and Putin, what will be the next hot mic moment in the news?

But first, let me tell you all: Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Hair Car Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord.

Philip Godeka, Wrightsar Limericks, our public address announcer is Paul Friedman, our tour manager is Shana Donald.

Thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theater.

BJ Lederman, composed of our theme, our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornboss, and Lillian King.

Special thanks this week to Blyth Robertson and Monica Hickey.

Peter Gwynn is our ball boy.

Our visual host is Emma Choi.

Technical direction is from Lorna White.

Our CFO is Colin Miller.

Our production manager is Robert Newhouse.

Our senior producer is Ian Schillock.

And the executive producer of wait, wait, don't tell me, is Mr.

Mike Hut Mike Danforth.

Now, panel.

What'll get caught on a hut mic next?

Alonzo Bowden.

J.D.

Vance will be overheard saying, Look at those ankles.

This job is mine.

Amy Dickinson.

Robert F.

Kennedy Jr.

will be caught on a hop mic at the Dunkadonas drive-through, ordering a box of munchkins with a light dusting of cocaine.

And Shane O'Neal.

In private, Bernie Sanders talks like a valley girl.

And if any of that happens, panel, we're going to ask you about it on WaitWait, Don't Tell Me.

Thank you so much, Bill Curtis.

thanks also to almonzo bow and namy dickinson and shane o'neal thanks to our fabulous audience here at the zoo maker theater here in downtown chicago illinois and thanks to all of you for listening wherever you might be on peter segment we'll see you next week

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