WWDTM: Bob Costas

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From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is wait, wait, don't tell me, the NPR news quiz.

Bill Curtis has big shoes to feel, but his stilettos look pretty good on me.

I'm Dr.

Che Ryanfest Smith, and here's your host at the Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter

Sabel.

Whoa, thank you all.

Thank you, Ron Fest.

Thank you, everybody.

I feel the same way.

Later on, we're going to be talking to legendary sportscaster Bob Costas.

But first, we here are so excited to to have Rhyme Fest filling in for Bill Curtis.

It's astonishing.

And I gotta ask, you're a legend in hip-hop, you're a Grammy and Oscar-winning songwriter, you're a filmmaker.

What in the world are you doing here?

Well,

you know, records stopped selling.

Yeah, that's a problem.

And then I volunteered for the school board.

Yeah.

And now I'm going to try my hand at a defunded

exactly.

You're public radio.

You're working your way down.

Yeah, I'm working my way through.

Lucky us.

I think you'll fit in.

If you want to be able to say, oh, yeah, one day I hung out with Rhyme Fest, then give us a call.

The number is 188-WATHERITHWAIT.

That's 1-888-924-8924.

Let's welcome our first listener contestant.

Hi, you are on WaitWait Down.

Tell me.

Hi, Peter.

This is Shane from Parkville, Maryland.

Parkville, Maryland, that one of the suburbs of Washington?

A suburb of Baltimore.

Oh, even better.

Oh, yeah.

What do you do there?

I work for environmental compliance centered around using dredge material for restoration efforts.

Oh, really?

So

you're like dredging stuff up from the bottom of Chesapeake Bay?

I don't dredge it, but I inspect it and I get kind of mucky with it sometimes.

Really?

That sounds once in a while.

So the job is like, well, we just dragged this stuff up from the bottom of the bay.

Come on, Shane, you got to look at it again.

Yeah, pretty much.

Welcome to our show, Shane.

Let me introduce you to our panel this week.

First up, she's the the comedian hosting Trivia Night for Cheaters, a benefit for 826 NYC on Tuesday, October 7th at Brooklyn Brewery.

It's Emmy Blotnick.

Hi, Shane.

Inspector Shane.

Inspector Shane next, he's our old friend, the Prince of Bronzeville, and he's bringing stand-up to the runway at his Paris Fashion Week Comedy Festival, September 29th to October 5th.

It's Brian Babylon.

Hey, hey.

And an actor and writer who will be appearing at the improv show Two Square at the Cold Town Theater in Austin, Texas, October 17th and 18th, and the Rockwell in Somerville, Massachusetts on October 24th.

It's Peter Gross.

Hi, Shane.

Hi, Peter.

So,

Shane, welcome to the show.

You're going to play Who's Rhyme Fest this time.

Rhyme Fest, filling in for Bill Curtis, is going to read you three quotations from this week's news.

If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you'll win our prize.

Any voice from our show you might choose for your voicemail.

You ready to go?

Not even a little, but I'll try my best.

All right, here you go.

Let's see what we can dredge up.

Your first quote is a line from a song you may soon no longer be able to hear on TV.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, Zipic!

I'm sorry.

That was a certified.

That was.

That was a good idea.

Wait a minute.

I'm sorry.

I'm just getting the news in.

You just got another Grammy.

That's well done.

They invented a category.

Got it.

That was from a particular kind of ad that may soon disappear from TV.

Ads for what?

Medication.

Yeah, pharmaceuticals.

They're going to take away the pharmaceutical ads.

Damn it.

Oh, you're excited.

I'm upset.

Now I'll never find out what Skyrizzy is.

This week, President Trump directed the government to reinstitute a 1990s era policy that would sharply restrict pharmaceutical ads.

Now, I have moderate to severe sadness about this news.

Ask your doctor.

No, this is going to change everything.

Like, there are going to be big protests from the union for elderly but very attractive people good at smiling at farmers markets.

Yeah.

Well, here's the thing though.

Nobody in those commercials talks and people don't realize a lot of actors who can't speak are going to be out of work.

Really?

Yeah.

They were very instrumental in the silent movie era and then farmers.

Or is it like Singing in the Rain?

They have really funny voices.

Like if you look at that dance and the silver fox and

all like the

Alex Orion says.

Yeah, the guy in the Cialis ad is like, I can't quite take Cialis.

Otherwise, I can't have sex.

Well, you know, I told you.

I had an audition to be in a We Govie ad

like a month ago.

That's the, of course, the weight loss.

Like the Hogwarts weight loss program.

I was going to be the husband of the wife that lost the weight, and I had a box like, yeah, my baby did it.

And that was supposed to be my, yeah, look at the box.

Lost all that weight.

Good job, baby.

And I was, you know, I had to like emote that without words.

Yeah, really.

Again, no speaking.

That's the fact.

Exactly.

I, for one, will be sad to lose the ads because they're like the best way to get great ideas for dates that aren't like a movie.

You know, like, oh, kayaking.

Hot air ballooning, playing together in a jug band.

I should repot my plants.

Yeah.

My son, that Ozempic song that Reimfest sang, my son heard that song, whatever, 10 times watching CNN, and then we were in the car and we heard, oh, oh, oh, it's magic.

And he was like, oh, the Ozempic song.

I was like, no, no, it's the other way around.

All right, Shane.

Shane, your next quote is what a lot of Catholics are saying this week.

What would Carlo do?

That in particular was an eighth grader at a Catholic school here in Chicago talking about Carlo Acutis, who this week was canonized as the first ever millennial what?

A saint.

Yes, the first millennial saint.

Point out once again, Gen X skipped over.

Were we?

Yeah.

Oh, well, because we didn't care.

Who cares?

Who cares?

I know a lot of people who are saints, but it was like ironic and they didn't really care about it.

Yeah, exactly.

Only like the Pope now.

It's not a big deal.

Exactly.

When Saint Carlo, as he is now officially known, Saint Carlo, when he was alive, he was known as God's influencer.

That's because the 15-year-old in Italy spread his love of the Catholic Church all over the internet, and also because he got a bunch of free stuff from God that he had to link in his bio.

But wasn't he like, he came up old school internet.

Yeah, he wasn't.

Like myself.

Yeah, this is back in the 2000s.

Yeah, so like, that was some hard work, you know.

JavaScript.

Yeah.

Yeah, man.

It was tough.

But he did.

He created websites to sort of spread the, well, gospel of the Catholic Church.

And so now he is a saint, the first ever from that generation.

And it's got to be tough for him, up in like the saints section of heaven, because he's got to be helping all the other saints with their computers.

It's like, Carlo, can you type this email for me?

My stigmata are acting up again.

You know what he says?

Just reboot.

Just reboot it.

Just reboot it.

The one thing we do know is that San Carlo will be the first person to wear a halo who played Halo.

All right, here, Shane, is your last quote.

I tend to watch where he goes in the yard.

We sometimes make eye contact while he completes the act.

That was a writer at The Atlantic arguing that who needs more privacy than you're currently giving them?

Your dog.

Exactly right, yes.

This week, The Atlantic suggested that animals deserve more privacy, especially our pets.

Well, maybe, but the only reason dogs want privacy is because they're in the next room eating out of the garbage.

Out of respect, I don't read my dog's diary, but

I do smother him physically.

Do you really?

Yeah,

I can't leave him alone.

Yeah, well, that's kind of the problem, apparently.

They get used to too much stimulation, and then when they don't have it well the argument is well and you talked to a dog expert a well-known woman i didn't think you were going to say expert in that sense i talked to a dog talked he talked to a dog uh and apparently uh your dog seems excited to see you all the time but she says actually dogs don't mind being alone it's just you've been away for so long they've had enough time to forget how problematic you really are

What is a dog expert?

What is that?

It's somebody who pretends that they can talk to dogs.

Thank you.

That's the thing.

It's somebody who has studied in a scholarly and scientific fashion the behavior of dogs.

It's somebody.

Don't say it like that, Peter.

Like, you know, it's actually no hard work.

It's somebody who is over $100,000 in student debt.

Gone to school.

Fast.

Ryan Fest.

Ryan Fest, how did Shane do in our quiz?

Well, insane in the membrane.

Can't complain.

He got all three right.

Give it up for Shane.

Congratulations, Shane.

You could ask us to do a voicemail for you.

You could just use that.

Might just use that.

Yeah, exactly.

Thanks so much for playing, Shane.

Take care.

Thank you.

Sometimes I feel like I am better off alone.

Spider webs entangle me.

You're not around.

I'm worry-free.

Anyone with eyes can see.

I'm better off alone.

Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions from this week's news.

Peter, New York City, as I'm sure you know, has banned all cell phones in schools, and New York State has rolled out a program to encourage students everywhere to put their phones down.

And to convince them to do it, the governor this week introduced the centerpiece of that campaign.

What is it?

A signed picture of Kathy Hochul that says, you're doing a good job.

Oh, what student wouldn't do anything to get that?

I'll give you a hint.

It's based on the success of convincing Philadelphians to be fanatics.

A mascot.

A mascot.

Who's better?

Yes, a mascot.

We love mascots.

Who's better

to convince kids to get excited about giving up their phones than a six-foot-tall fluorescent green furry?

His name is Frankie Focus.

Frankie Focus and Frankie Focus looks a little bit like the Grinch, but with glasses.

Get it?

He's got glasses.

His message is, you can be a nerd and still be terrifying.

I thought Frankie Focus was an Adderall dealer.

Hey, Frankie, you got that stuff?

Tell your friends where you got it.

You got it from Frankie Focus.

Frankie Focus.

Coming up, our panelists get their inheritance in our bluff to listener game called 1888 WaitWait to play.

We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait Wait Don't Tell Me from NPR

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From NPR and WBZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR news quiz.

I am not Dr.

Dre, I am Dr.

Change.

Ryan Fest Smith, we're playing this week with Peter Gross, Emmy Blotnick, and Brian Babylon.

And here

again

is your host at the Studa Baker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.

Thank you, Ron Fest.

Thank you so much.

Right now it's time for the Wait Wait Don't Tell me blast the listener game call 1888 Wait Wait to play our game in the air.

How you are on Wait Wait Don't Tell Me.

Hi, I'm Marissa from Cape Coral, Florida.

Hey, how are things in Cape Coral?

Very rainy.

Aww.

Let's all take a moment to pity you.

Very, very rainy.

Let's take a moment to pity you.

Well, that was fun.

Well, welcome to the show, Marissa.

You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction.

Rhyme Fest.

What is Marissa's topic?

This is my last will and testament.

There's nothing fun about a will.

Until now.

Our panelists are going to tell you about someone who received an unusual and unexpected inheritance that we found in the news this week.

Pick the one who's telling the truth and you'll win our prize, the wait waiter of your choice in your voicemail.

You ready to apply?

Yeah.

All right, first up, let's hear from Peter Gross.

Jennifer Insel lives in a fancy New York City apartment building in Unit 4D, next to Jeffrey Malinsky in 4C.

They've been arch enemies for 10 years, constantly arguing about the nine squawking parrots in Jeffrey's apartment.

Jennifer would complain to the co-op board, then he would complain about her, then she would sue, alleging intentional infliction of emotional distress, then he would counter-sue, claiming something he called interspecies prejudice.

She finally gave up and learned to live with it, figuratively.

And then Jeffrey's body gave up and made her live with it literally when he died this week and left her his parrots in his will.

Jennifer came home from work on Monday to discover the birds, their cages, and 100 pounds of bird food in her foyer.

She was on the phone with her lawyer explaining the whole situation, but when she mentioned the name Jeffrey Malinsky, one of the parrots chimed in, Brock, glad he's dead, Brock.

Jennifer couldn't believe it, so she said his name again.

Brock, total jerk, Brock.

That's why the parrots were so loud.

They hated this guy, even more than she did.

So now Jennifer has nine new best friends who spend all day talking smack about her former neighbor.

Brock, he's rotting in hell.

Brock!

A woman

stunned to be left with the parrots owned by the man next door she hated.

Your next story of a willy-nilly will comes from Brian Babylon.

A Brazilian billionaire has named football star Neymar as a sole heir to his estate that's worth about $1 billion.

And this is without even ever meeting the guy.

Yes, some people leave their money to their kids.

Some people leave money to charity.

This guy said, you know what?

Neymar looks like he can use a little help.

And the document, the billionaire wrote, I like Neymar.

I identify with him a lot.

He's not self-serving, and that's something rare these days.

Apparently, the man was so touched by Neymar's relationship with his father, which reminded him of his own late dad, so instead of therapy, he decided to write a billion-dollar love letter.

Courts now have to improve the inheritance.

Legal experts say that he will have to face taxes and disputes, or as lawyers like to call it, summer vacation money.

Neymar, meanwhile, not has commented, probably because he's busy practicing falling over dramatically when the IRS shows up.

A billionaire in Brazil

leaves his entire fortune to a soccer star he had never met.

Your last story of a will gone wild comes from Emmy Blotnik.

A deceased Vermont-based man was discovered to have an unusual will, dedicating his entire fortune to just Earth.

Complicating matters, the man also requested that his remains be dropped into an active volcano.

His declaration is now being reviewed by the court, which will determine if money for Earth should be assigned to an environmental cause or given to one member of the band Earth, Wind, and Fire,

should one of them go by Earth.

The will also does not name a specific volcano, but a clearly stated wish for it to be, quote, splashing with magma,

by which he likely meant lava.

But the point is, he's gone.

His inheritance is said to have a value in the ballpark of $5,000, which is not enough to charter a volcano helicopter or really do much of anything with a dead guy.

So,

one of these was in the news this week, was it from Peter Gross, a woman who has left the nine parrots she hated that live next door, only to discover that they hated their owner as much as she did.

From Brian Babylon, a Brazilian billionaire who, having no one else to leave his money to, gave it to his favorite, already incredibly wealthy soccer player who he did not know.

Or from Emmy Blotnik, a man who left his money to the earth with with the condition that he be dropped into it.

Which of these was the real story of a bequest we found in the news this week?

Funny because my kid's favorite soccer star is Neymar Jr.

So I'm going to have to go with Neymar.

You're going to have to go with Neymar because if it was up to your kids, they'd give him the money too.

All right, your choice is Brian's story.

Well, we spoke to an expert on this subject.

to bring you the truth.

I would say this is pretty random.

Most people are not just leaving it to like a sports star.

That was Rosanna Roisen, her partner in the Trust and Estates group, Tarker, Krinski, and Rogan, LLP, giving her estate lawyerly reaction to the real story of the billionaire giving all his money to Neymar.

Congratulations, Marissa.

You got it right.

You've won our prize.

The kids will be thrilled.

It's all good.

You won, Neymar won, Brian won.

We're winners all around.

Thank you so much for playing.

Thank you.

All right, take care.

And now the game we call not my job.

If you ask somebody to imitate a sportscaster, right, for fun, chances are they're going to do their best Bob Costas.

He has broadcast everything from NASCAR to the NBA, plus most Olympics in the last four decades, 18 runnings of the Kentucky Derby Super Bowls, plus he's hosted his own interview and talk shows over the years.

We don't know whether to ask him questions or just have him do play-by-play of our show.

Bob Costas, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

It's so exciting to me.

Thank you.

It's a pleasure to finally talk to you after all the years I listened to you broadcasting games.

We read, Bob, that you fulfilled a certain cliché of sportscasters in that you tried and failed at every sport you attempted as a young man.

Is that true?

You know, I wouldn't say that I failed.

I wasn't that bad by schoolyard standards, but I couldn't make my high school baseball or basketball team.

And the baseball coach, who was also a math teacher, that's the way it works in high school, he actually said to me

something to the effect of, you're not bad with the glove and you can run a little bit, but I don't think you can hit your weight and I don't think you weigh 130, which might have been true when I was 16 years old.

And then he actually said, you know, you're always talking about baseball, and you know more about baseball than any of my players.

Have you ever thought about broadcasting?

And I said, that's pretty much all I think about.

And he actually said, as if it was a movie, good, try that.

Whoa.

That's awesome.

And have you ever gone and like found any of the guys who did make the team and say, how long did your career in sports last?

One of them, one of them actually pitched in the major leagues for two years.

He did make it to the big leagues.

The rest of them have scattered to the four winds, and I'm sure they're aware of me, and I'm not quite aware of where they are, and I don't care.

Yeah!

And

you went off to Syracuse University, right?

The New House School to learn your trade.

This is, of course, if you don't know, it is the Harvard of broadcasting schools.

But I'm curious,

how do you learn to do sports broadcasting?

What are the skills you have to study?

You know, you cannot learn it in a classroom.

You want to get as good and as well-rounded an education as you possibly can and to be a reader because it improves your appreciation of language and turns of phrase.

and the broader your frame of reference is, the more you can bring to bear where appropriate in a sports broadcast or any kind of broadcast.

But the only way you actually learn to be a broadcaster is by doing it.

You can't sit there in a classroom and learn it.

You just have to find out if you have a knack, and then you work on that knack as you move along.

So, okay, you're a Hall of Fame broadcaster, an absolute legend in the industry.

Nobody's perfect all the time.

Can you remember a time when, like, you just blew it on live TV?

Oh my, yes.

Now I realize it's NPR.

Yes.

Do you want the unedited versions?

Yeah, give us the MTV version.

I mean, go ahead, Bob.

What are they going to do?

Defund us?

Here you go.

Now, if everybody clapping could give $5,000,

that would be really wonderful.

Go ahead, go ahead.

All right, so here's the deal.

My first job job out of Syracuse, I did minor league hockey my first, my senior year at Syracuse, 30 bucks a game.

But I was lucky enough right after that at age 22 to go to St.

Louis, big station, KMOX, 50,000-watt station, to broadcast the games for the Spirits of St.

Louis in the old ABA.

The first night they play on a Friday night, they have a big lead with about two minutes to go, and the game slips away.

They're up by seven, and somehow the game slips away.

Two nights later, they're playing at home again, and they're ahead by five with like a minute to go.

And I turned toward the analyst, who was a wonderful gentleman named Bill Wilkerson, and I said the following: Bill, it appears as if the Spirits have this game well in hand, but Coach Bob McKinnon taking a timeout here, wanting to take no chances, because the last thing he wants to see is a repeat of Friday night's blow.

I actually said that.

You did?

I actually said that.

You know, they blew the game, and, you know,

just got kind of mangled, right?

Well, I mean, if you think about it, I mean, it is his job, and if he blew the game, it just sort of comes naturally to that phrase, doesn't it?

And

my thought is,

I looked at Wilkerson, and he looked at me, and his eyes got as wide as saucers.

And the engineer just made that circular thing with the index finger, like, keep on going, keep on going, we can't have all this dead air and I was a hundred percent certain that the next morning I'd be on a flight back to Syracuse but the station manager took pity on me and said don't ever let this happen again well I certainly will try not to a lot of people called in and they were like can we get more of that Bob Costas

let me ask you this you've you've over the years obviously not just baseball NFL games NBA games

horse races and the Olympics of course for many many years in NBC so out of all those things can you tell me like what the weirdest or most unusual sport is you've ever had to broadcast and comment on?

Well, I didn't do play-by-play as the host of the Olympics, but you're commenting on and showing highlights of almost everything.

Curling in the Winter Olympics.

You know, think about getting a gold medal, an Olympic gold medal, for an activity in which you can drink beer while doing it.

Yes.

But

even more so in the Summer Olympics, race walking is a staple.

Now, there may be, I don't know, 200 race walkers in the United States, but in parts of Eastern Europe, like in Romania or something, you know, race walkers are like Michael Jordan, apparently.

So, 1992 in Barcelona, I'm hosting the Olympics, and there's a package of highlights, and it ends with a bunch of race walkers.

And you know what it looks like, right?

Yeah.

It looks like, gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now is what it looks like, right?

15 minutes shorts who really need to use the restroom.

I understand.

Right, exactly.

So I come off of it.

I think it's completely harmless.

And the people on the set laughed.

I said, isn't a competition to see who can walk the fastest a little bit like a contest to see who can whisper the loudest?

Eventually, don't you just like cross over and start running?

Now, you would think that was completely harmless, but the very small racewalking community wanted my head on a pipe.

And that's why you can never go back to Romania.

Correct.

Well, Bob Costas, it is such a pleasure to talk to you, and we have asked you you here today to play a game we're calling

and the Emmy Goes to.

We are right now in the eye of the Emmy storm.

The creative arts Emmys were last weekend, the primetime Emmys are this weekend.

So, no one is talking about anything but the Emmy Awards.

Ooh, we're going to ask you three questions about these JV Oscars.

Answer two correctly, and we win our prize, one of our listeners.

Rhyme Fest, who is Bob Costas playing for?

Bob is playing for Matt Johnson of Houston, Texas.

Ready to play?

Here is your first question.

Where does the name Emmy for the award come from?

Is it A, it's the initials ME for Mamie Eisenhower, who presided at the first awards.

Is it B,

strangely, it is named after our own panelist, Emmy Blotnick.

Or C, it was named for the Image Orthogon Tube, an important bit of early TV technology.

I'm going with C.

You're going to go with C, and you are right.

The Image Orthogon tube was known as Emmy.

That's what you're named after.

Huge advance, TV technology, so much so that Emmy was named for it.

And I guess it must have been shaped like a lady with wings holding an atom, I guess.

Here's your next question.

The whole point of the Emmys, of course, as you know, is to promote TV.

But at the 2015 Emmys, Andy Samberg went above and beyond to encourage people to watch the HBO show Game of Thrones.

How did he do it?

A by wearing a handmade 15-foot-long dragon costume on stage, B, by giving out to the live international audience his actual HBO login and password, or C, by playing a video in which his head was CGI'd onto every character in every sex scene from that season.

You know, I should know this, but somehow I missed that particular telecast.

I'm just going to guess B.

You're going to guess B, he gave out his HBO login and password to the universe?

He did.

Yes.

And people report.

Everybody first immediately ran over to their televisions or whatever.

And it worked for a few days.

All right.

Very good, Bob.

Here is...

Two for two.

Two for two, right.

As someone in your profession might say.

Yes.

You're batting a thousand.

Yes.

He's batting a thousand.

Let's see what he does with this pitch.

In Dame Helen Mirren's acceptance speech after winning an Emmy for her performance as Queen Elizabeth I,

she said that her greatest triumph was what?

Was it A, making her Queen Elizabeth I recognizably different from her Queen Elizabeth II?

B, the voiceover work that she had done for the film Legends of the Guardians: The Owls of Gablool,

for which she was unfairly snubbed.

Or, C, she said her greatest triumph was, quote, not falling ass over tit as she climbed the stairs to the podium.

It is without question, C.

You're right.

You called your shock, as you might say.

And electedly, the censors who were manning, you know, that bleep button were so charmed by her British accent that the remark made it to air.

And now, again, to us.

RhymeFest, how did Bob Costas do in our quiz?

Bob got three for three.

He got them all right.

Congratulations.

It's...

It's the trifecta.

It's the hat-trick.

It is.

It's the triple crown

What's Amen?

That's a good thing part of your job is coming up with catchphrases and names What should we call it when someone goes three for three on this on this game the costi there you go

he scored a costas

Bob Costas is a Hall of Fame broadcaster and not coincidentally the winner of 28 Emmy Awards himself.

Bob Costas, thank you so much for joining us on Waitley Don't Tell me.

Thank you, Peter.

Thank you everybody.

Take care, Bob.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

In just a minute, Rhyme Fest tells you how to get a free breakfast in our listener limerick challenge call 188 WaitWait to join us in the air.

We'll be back in a minute with more of WaitWait Don't Tell me from NPR.

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From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz.

I am Dr.

Che Reinfest Smith.

We're playing this week with Brian Babylon, Peter Gross, and Emmy Blotnick.

Hey!

And here again is your host at the Scooter Baker Theater in Chicago, Illinois.

Give it up for Peter Sago.

Thank you, Reinfest.

Thank you so much.

In just a minute, Rhyme Fest meets our Limerick Fest.

A little nervous about having to rhyme things there, Rhyme Fest?

I've never rhymed in Irish.

If you like to play, give us a call at 188-WAIT WAIT.

That's 1-888-924-8924.

Right now, panel, I got some more questions for you from the week's news.

Brian, a recent study shows you can tell a lot about someone's personality by the style of their what?

Come on, man.

Not their clothing.

No.

I've not been too much.

The style of their...

Give me a hint.

Give me a hint.

Give me a hint, right?

It's like, okay, we'll start from the beginning.

Are you an A-frame or a tight squeeze?

Peter, I don't think we should be asking.

The clues aren't.

An A-frame or a

house.

No.

I'll give you another hint.

I'll give you another hint.

Right.

Okay, hey, hold on.

Bring it in, big guy.

You're right.

Oh.

Bring it in.

Oh,

your garage.

No.

Does anybody know what the heck I'm talking about?

It's jeans.

It's jeans.

Not your jeans.

Is an A-frame a type of hug?

It is.

It's the way that you hug.

An A-frame is a hug?

You've never heard of that?

No, is that where you go.

Yeah, the A-frame, classically.

I mean, you people wouldn't understand it because you're emotional.

What in the gilded age are you doing?

This is a thing for people who don't get hugged very well.

The study showed that people who were

They asked people to hug, and they observed them, and then they surveyed them, and they found that people who were self-described as neurotic or insecure preferred the lean-in hug, or the A-frame.

If you think about it, you're both leaning in, you're kind of hugging in the middle, it looks like an A.

I thought you meant the arms created an A somehow.

No, I know people who hug like that.

Exactly, exactly.

Or people with self-confidence and empathy, like those close-in hugs with lots of contact.

And your father prefers no hugs at all.

You just have to forgive him.

It's the way he was raised.

He still loves you.

Okay.

I'm an O-frame hug where I just, you don't get any.

It's just a zero.

This study goes on to say that romantic partners hug on average for seven seconds, while friends, just friends, hug for under three seconds.

Across the board, people reported it wasn't the hug that freaked them out, it was the fact that their friend was timing it.

In your ear.

One, two,

three,

four.

Yeah, I never knew about that.

Why are you pulling away?

Five, six.

Would you prefer I count down 1,000?

See, my thing is,

I pretty much have a traditional hug, but my thing, anxiety, is whether or not to hug, right?

I mean, that's, you know, like, okay, are we hugging now?

Are we hugging friends?

What about the grab hand, right-hand grab, bring body in, left-hand hug.

So it's a combo handshake.

Right.

Oh, yes, this one is from avoidant straight men.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Anybody timing that?

Peter, as the baseball season comes to a close, more and more fans took the 999 challenge this year.

What is the 999 challenge?

Nine beers in nine innings and throwing up nine times.

You're so close.

I missed one of the nine beers are right.

Nine beers are right.

Nine innings are right.

What's the other thing that you do at a ballpark?

Going to the bathroom?

No.

No, nine hot dogs.

Yes, nine hot dogs.

You You figured it out.

The 999 challenge.

Drink nine beers, eat nine hot dogs in nine innings.

There was all the rage this year, people trying to do it all over the country in various ballparks.

It proves that even with the pitch clock, baseball itself is still boring.

But an average baseball game is, what, 95 hours?

So

that's actually not that much.

Yeah, if you spat it out.

And you sleep, of course.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you sleep.

Well, of course, no, I mean, it's all fun in games until you get to extra innings, then you die.

Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme.

If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1888-WAIT-WAIT.

That's 1-888-924-8924.

You can see us most weeks here at the Studebaker Theater in downtown Chicago.

And you can also catch us on the road.

If you're in St.

Louis, we will be there too next week, September 18th.

Catch us there.

And if you happen to prefer Honolulu, we'll be there on October 9th and 10th.

Tickets in info are at nprpresents.org.

And if you like our show but wish it was just about eight seconds long, you can find us on TikTok at WaitWaitNPR.

Hi, you're on Weight Wait, don't tell me.

Hi, this is Allison calling from beautiful Eugene, Oregon.

Beautiful Eugene, Oregon.

It's magnificent there.

What do you do there?

I'm an archaeologist and professor at the University of Oregon.

You are kidding me!

Archaeologist!

I am an archaeologist.

What is your specialty?

I work in Southeast Asia, mostly in Cambodia.

Wow.

Wow, digging up, exploring the ancient cultures there.

Yes, yes, exactly.

And because I study and have like a deep respect and love for old things and history, I was really excited to hope to, and was hoping to get to talk to Bill Curtis, but I understand he's not available today.

With all due respect, I came here to speak to Bill Curtis, too.

That's true.

I seem to have disappointed everyone.

All right, well, welcome to the show, Allison.

Your job, of course, is to complete three news-related limericks.

Rhyme Fest

is going to read you the first part of each limerick, but not finish them.

That is your job.

Do it two times out of three.

You will win our prize.

A voice of anyone you might choose for your voicemail.

Are you ready to go?

I'm ready.

All right, here we go.

Here's your first limerick.

I scoop eggs in and off the cuffway

at the place I'm pretending to stay.

It works out really well at a mid-range hotel.

I sneak in for the breakfast.

Buffet.

Right, very good.

More and more people are going online to brag about strolling into hotels they're not staying in to help themselves to the complimentary breakfast buffet.

I get it.

It's better.

My cereal at home, say, doesn't taste quite the same as when it does when I get it by turning a crank on a plexiglass box for three minutes.

Mance, you get out of...

your bed, get in the car,

drive to a Hampton Inn, maybe, and just go to town.

Maybe you're like going to, you know, getting up and you're going to go do something, you need some breakfast, you happen to be passing by one of those mid-range changes.

Mediocre waffles don't mind if I do.

Exactly.

It's not the best breakfast.

Just get a red, delicious apple tightly wrapped and surrounded.

That's what I want.

All right, Allison, here is your next limerick.

Phone and keys, anymore, I can't haul it.

If there's need for cash, I don't recall it.

Because cards, coins, and bills are for outdated teals,

and I no longer carry a

wallet.

A wallet.

A new study found that nearly half the population no longer use wallets anymore.

Great, now where am I supposed to carry my COVID vaccine card for some reason?

Now the change comes from, the change away from wallets comes both, of course, with the technology and our phones and from your being honest with yourself about never, ever going to complete that punch card for a free smoothie.

Facts.

It's true.

Here's your last limerick, Allison.

At this wedding, it's easy to mingle.

Here's a table where tensions sure tingle.

There's a face sheet with facts, so I might find a match at the table where guests are all

single?

Yes, this week the New York Times reported on the trend of couples who are giving all the single people attending their wedding a laminated fact sheet with the faces of all the other single people.

It makes it an even more special day.

You're starting your life as a married person and you are utterly destroying your former circle of friends.

Right?

But you know, after like

a few bottles of that cheap

wine, reception wine, I don't need no sheet, let's do this.

All right?

Sheet Smeat.

Let's kick it.

You know?

Sheet Schmeat.

I don't need

I don't need information or

know anything about you.

We're at this Hampton Inn.

We have breakfast tomorrow.

Let's have a good time.

I don't need help schmeeting people.

This is a nice wedding, too, at a Hampton Inn.

Yes, nice.

Rhyme Fest.

How did Allison do?

There's a show full of winners today.

Allison got all three right.

She's a winner.

Congratulations.

Thank you so much.

It was the dream come true.

Take care.

Bye-bye.

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Now it's time for our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank.

Each of our players will have have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can.

Each correct answer is worth two points.

Rhyme Fest, can you give us the scores?

Yes, Brian and Emmy each have two.

Peter has four.

Oh, my goodness.

Brian, I'm going to arbitrarily pick you to go first.

Here we go.

The clock will start when I begin your first question.

Fill in the blank.

On Wednesday, FBI Director Cash Patel traveled to Utah to oversee the investigation into the shooting of Blank.

Charlie Kirk.

Right.

On Tuesday, the FAA released an advisory that lithium batteries pose blank risks on flights.

Explosion risks.

Well, fire risks, good enough.

This week, pop star Bad Bunny said he left the U.S.

off his world tour over fears of blank raids at his concerts.

Ice raids.

Right.

This week, a teacher in Germany sued her school after she was asked to provide a doctor's note explaining why she had blanked.

Pregnant.

No, she was asked to explain why she had pregnant?

No.

Why is she pregnant?

No, she was asked to explain why she hasn't shown up to work in 16 years.

On Tuesday, NASA's Perseverance rover found new evidence for potential life on blank.

Mars.

Right, on Wednesday, ABC announced that one of the stars of the secret lives of Mormon wives would be the next blank.

Bachelorette.

Right, this week a German town is finally at peace after the culprit behind a string of ding-dong ditch pranks was revealed to be blank.

The teacher who didn't show up for 16 years?

No.

A small garden slug.

Residents of an apartment complex in Bavaria couldn't figure out why their doorbells kept ringing and they'd run down down and there'd never be anyone at the door.

Turns out a small slug has been crawling over the dorn bells on the building's main entry panel.

That's so good.

That's so cheap.

It's less a ding-dong ditch, more of a ding-dong wooz.

Yeah.

But here's the question for you, Ryan Fest.

How did Brian do in our quizz?

Brian got five more right for 10 points, a total of 12.

Brian is in the lead.

Well done.

All right, Emmy, you're up next.

Here we go, fill in the blank.

On Thursday, President Trump gave a speech at the Pentagon commemorating blank.

September 11th.

Right, on Tuesday, RFK Jr.

released the document of his Make America Blank Again strategy.

A healthy?

Yes, this week, the 300 South Koreans arrested during an ice raid on a blank plant in Georgia were repatriated.

Oh, it's a Hyundai.

Hyundai plant.

According to a new study, childhood blank is now more common than childhood malnourishment.

Obesity.

Right, yes?

This week, Japan is celebrating the life of a racehorse who had spent her 29-year career blanking.

Jumping.

No, losing every single race.

For the first time in almost two years, Prince Harry had tea with blank.

His father.

King Charles.

Yes, on Thursday, Gmail announced a special tab only for sorting all your blank purchases.

Your online purchases.

From the internet.

No.

Specifically, it's Amazon.

Amazing.

This week, a nurse in Kentucky credited her CPR training with helping her save the life of a blank.

Oh, that horse that lost all the races.

No,

she saved the life of a drunken raccoon.

That won all the races?

Apparently.

Can you imagine how bad that horse felt?

The woman was on a walk when she heard strange noises coming from a dumpster next to a distillery.

Turns out it was a drunken raccoon having difficulty breathing, so she laid down and started chest compressions.

This has to be a tricky moment in the life of a nurse.

On the one hand, you know that raccoons can carry rabies.

On the other, when are you going to get another chance to do CPR in a raccoon?

Rhyme Fest, how did Emmy do an arc with this?

Emmy got five right for 10 points, a total of 12.

Emmy and Brian are tied.

Now,

how many then does Peter Gross need to win?

Peter needs four to tie and five to win.

All right, here we go.

Peter, this is for the game.

On Thursday, European leaders expressed alarm after drones sent by Blank were shot down in Poland.

Russia.

Right.

In her new memoir, Kamala Harris said it was reckless to allow Blank to make the decision to run for re-election without consultation.

Donald Trump, no, Joe Biden.

Right, this week, the NCAA handed permanent bans to three college blank players who were involved in sports betting.

Basketball?

Basketball, yes.

For the first time since the pandemic, Blank is no longer a top 10 cause of death for Americans.

Oh, COVID?

Yes, this week a man in Canada was ticketed while driving a blank.

Just the funniest car.

It's true, because it was a bright pink Barbie Power Wheels toy car.

According to a new study, chronic sleeplessness increases the chance of blank in aging brains.

Dementia?

Right, on Monday, the blanks announced a new cookie flavor based on Rocky Road Ice Cream.

Uh, the Girl Scouts?

Right, yes.

And what's being called a first-of-its-kind heist, a honey store in the UK was robbed by a gang of blanks.

I mean, it's got to be bears, right?

No, bees.

Oh,

give it back!

Pretty much.

No, the heist was attempted, it was actually carried out by thousands of so-called robber bees.

That's a subspecies known for stealing honey from other colonies' hives.

The shop's owner was able to lure them into the bathroom where she could trap and release them.

And thankfully, only one bee was killed.

But wouldn't you know it, he was the old bee who just got back in the game for one more school.

This was in England.

What kind of Pixar movie?

Yeah, I know.

It's like a, if like Guy Ritchie directed a Pixar movie.

All right, but here's the big question.

Rhyme Fest, how did Peter do?

Did he do well enough to win?

Peter got six right for 12 points, total of 16.

Peter gets the plastic apple from the Hampton.

Yes!

Coming up, our panelists predict what new drug will be featured in the last ever pharmaceutical ad to be seen on TV.

But first, let me tell you, Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, is a production of NPRNW, BEC, Chicago, in association with Urgent Haircraft Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord, Philip Godeka, Riser of Limericks.

Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman.

Our tour manager is Shane Adonnell.

Thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theater.

BJ Liederman composed our theme.

Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Robos, and Lillian King.

Special thanks this week to Blythe Robertson and Monica Hickey.

Our saint is Peter Mary Gwynn.

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Technical direction is from Lauren M.

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Our CFO is Colin Miller.

Our production manager is Robert Newhouse.

Our senior producer is Ian Schilog, and the executive producer of Wait, wait down, tell me, is Mr.

Hot Mike Danforth.

Now, panel, what will be the last pharmaceutical ad we get get to see in TV before they all go away?

Brian Babylon.

It's going to be Handmaids Plan B.

Emmy Blotnick.

A scativan.

It gives you the relaxed confidence to jazz scat.

Peter Gross.

Bone for life, a pill you take just once that gives you an erection that never goes away for the rest of your life.

And if any of that happens, panel, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, don't tell me.

Thank you, Dr.

Jave Reinfest Smith.

Thanks to Austin to Brian Babylon, Emmy Blattnick, and Peter Gross.

Thanks to all of you here at the Student Baker Theater, you're fabulous.

And thanks to all of you listening, wherever you might be.

I'm Peter Segel.

We'll see you next week from St.

Louis, Missouri.

Now, show me what kind of hunt.

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