WDWDY #14: Concrete Jungle Where Dreams Are Made Of...

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Podcasts, there are millions of them. Some might say too many.
I have one already. I don't have any, because there are enough.
Politics, business, sport, you name it.

There's a podcast about it, and they all ask the big questions and cover the hot topics of the day. But nobody is covering the most important topic of all.
Why is that? Are they scared?

Too afraid of being censored by the man?

Possibly, but not us. We're here to ask the only question that matters.
We'll try and say it at the same time, Max. What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday?

That's it. All we're interested in is what the guests got up to yesterday, nothing more.
Day before yesterday, Max? Nope. The greatest and most interesting day of your life?

Unless it was yesterday, we don't want to know about it. I'm Max Rushton.
And I'm David O'Daugherty. Welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday?

Hello and welcome to Midweek Mayhem. What did you do yesterday, David? O'Doherty, welcome.
Hello. Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow is a mystery. Yeah.
Today is a gift. That's why we call it the present.

So I'm going to try in this episode just to talk in fake old distress signs from

tea towels. Yeah.

If you say you don't have to be crazy to be on this pod, but it helps,

then you know we're in trouble.

And he writes, hi, gentlemen. I feel compelled to email a podcast for the very first time in my life, as I have never felt so wholly and eerily represented by a show's host and its producer.

And he gives a backstory, David. I'm a 43-year-old man, born and raised on the mean streets of Shanklin in the Isle of Wight until I left the island for university.

And so producer Mars Barr is from the Isle of Wight. Listeners may not know this.
They're going to learn a lot about producer Mars Bar today because he is crowbarring his way into our podcast.

Happens to producers all the time. They want to be talent and then they get on the mics.
Big pressure on Mars Bar. Don't open the fader yet, Michael.
Anyway,

in the mid-2000s, I moved to Ireland to ride the wave of the Celtic Tiger and enjoyed a few years living and working in the Grand Canal area of Dublin, my David O'Doherty years.

He also says, I'm also a recovering arm under the pillow sleeper. So many good luck.

Good luck with that.

How is that going for you, David? You're okay with that now?

It's still not going great.

I think a problem was I was hooking almost like a cockney dancer. I was sleeping with my thumbs in my armpits

for some weird reason. But I think that might have been to do with the temperature of the winter, maybe an attempt at coziness.

So as we move into the spring, now unfortunately, you're in the opposite hemisphere. So, I'm just hoping this doesn't happen to you.
Pass on to me.

You don't wind down, you don't wind down by listening to Chaz and Dave. Hence, that puts you in the cockney dancer position.

Rabbit, rabbit, rabbit.

My Isle of Wight tale is: I once did a gig on the Isle of Wight. Okay.

And God, the Medina is the name of the little arts center,

but it is also the Medina Leisure Center as well. And on the walk from the dressing room to the stage, I went the wrong way and opened the door.

So I didn't know it was the Medina Leisure Center until I opened the door and there were just children beating each other with pool noodles.

And I am standing there with my little battery-powered keyboard. You say, Good evening, the Isle of Wight.

I said everything is showbiz.

Anyway, Dandy writes, and now, after emigrating three years ago, I find myself living down under with my Australian wife and two young sons.

Truly, my max Rushdon years. It's extraordinary.

Given my life seems to revolve entirely around following in the footsteps of what did you do yesterday personnel, I'm emailing to ask if there are any new team members poised to join the squad so I can better prepare for the coming years ahead.

Wow, wow, this is he's living all of our, he's like Ripley, He's going to come and kill us all in black and white.

Liam says.

Very pleased to hear regarding Jess Napit, Tunbridge Wells finally get a name check in the Nappet pod. He's been waiting all this time.
However, it's correct. Monica is Royal Tunbridge Wells.

All right. Yeah, they're a bit like that, aren't they? In Tunbridge Wells.
He says, if you need to link it back to the 80s and 90s, then Gary Stevens, the Spurs one, used to live there.

Oh, aren't they? Now

you're in my wheelhouse. I understand.

Some great feedback from the Joe Wilkinson episode. Much my favorite was on iTunes from Min347.

Five stars. Really enjoyed how disgusted Joe Wilkinson was with his life.
Five stars.

Joe's having a great time. Joe's there in Brighton.

He's viewing houses. He's getting up early and listening to Rio Ferdinand.
Well, on that subject

Doc Craigo says after listening to the recent Joe Wilkinson episode it struck me as a perfect opportunity for Max to finally book a guest in the form of Rio Ferdinand just to check and see if Rio starts his day by listening to chatterbix imagine

imagine if those worlds collided surely you're in a whatsapp group with rio keep up with good work lads and max i'm heading off to melbourne next week if you need anything from prett i could attempt to smuggle some birch and muesli through australian customs drop it off at your local local cafe that serves that extra milk magic, Craig, you know, in London.

Now, someone said to me, Max, I don't know enough about coffee, but your tedious, infernal coffee bordering. Is it just a Cortado? Is that all that one that you want is? I can have a Cortada.

It's just a bit small. I just want maybe five milliliters.

I don't want it in a little glass or a little cup. They come in a little cup.
I want it in a cup. Yeah.

But like, the more i say this the more i feel it isn't helping me come across as the nice guy that i think i am and not just because of that one-star review that said i was do you want to do you want to hear it is it too it's so funny the guy who said not as nice as he thinks he is max gets to hump with a checkout worker who's clearly having a bit of banter with a foreigner about other foreigners max gets to hump with someone who gets him the wrong coffee max states that he doesn't like children unless they're his on another podcast max digs out a newcastle fan over the ownership of newcastle while working for a company owned by murdoch that promotes sporting events in saudi arabia he obviously thinks he's a great bloke he's not david seems nice why he's working with this knob is unclear one star

i wrote that i wrote that because I'm pushing for a move away from this. This is how you have to lay the groundwork.
Poor Max.

Mark Pugach got in touch, messaged me to say, on the subject of stealing beverages. My niece texted me from Auckland, coffee thief.

So we've got someone on the inside. We've got a Pugach

who can keep across how many things he's stealing.

On that subject, Owen Lyons has been in touch. In a Leeson Street club, Screwy Louis in Dublin in the early 90s.
Great. U2's the Edge took my matches to light a cigar and stole them.

It was a Monday night, and literally the only people there for the whole evening were my group and all four of you, too, plus one of the actors from the commitments.

I don't know why I had matches as I don't smoke.

He continues: I'm from Dublin, but I live in St. Albans.
I was in an Uber recently, coming home from the train station. I asked the driver who his most famous fare was.

His answer was: genuinely, Russell Howard's brother, who lives in Welledge.

This is good stuff.

Nice guy. Nice guy, apparently.
Russell Howard's brother. Keep up with the good work, says Owen.

He doesn't know this, but the U2 album, The Unforgettable Fire, was based on the stealing of those matches. Ah, I see.
Makes sense. Thank you.
It all makes sense. Thank you very much.

I'm currently listening to What Did You Do Yesterday, number eight, the Diablo Brothers episode.

Why were we talking about Diablos? You all reference your global audience. I think it was David that said we're all Manhattan executives.

Nothing against the movers and shakers on Wall Street, but some of us are milkmen in Charleston, West Virginia. I love the show, Jared the Milkman.
Hello, Jared.

You don't think of a milkman in Charleston, West Virginia. No.
Which does sound like the title of a song by Waylon Jennings.

But

because I imagine the houses are so far apart. Like, is he leaving bottles outside the house? You know.
Do you think it's a milk float? Do you think he's in an electric milk float? That's of the age.

Chris says, this is on the subject of trustworthiness of various animals for energy companies, of course.

Obviously, yes. Chris says, what are your thoughts about Rule Fox being the mascot of an energy company?

Rule Fox, the former Norwich, Newcastle, and Tottenham right-winger, couldn't really beat his man and talk with quite a blocked nose, but a good player.

According to Google AI, he had no red cards in his Premier League career. Trustworthy? I think so.
So there we are.

Becky Fox, a listener, she wasn't happy with our talking down the fox as a sly, untrustworthy beast. Yeah.
But they just, there's a lot of them around here, this area.

They just move too quickly across the road with their big old tails and they jump into bins and things. I don't know.
Nothing in that says this is a good energy provider. Nothing nocturnal.

I think you can cancel all, I think you not cancel, but just rule out all nocturnal beasts.

No bats. Yeah, no badgers.
No slugs. No badgers.
No slugs that walk across the path.

No, no, no.

Slug energy. No one's getting.

I phoned them about coming around to install the meter two years ago, and they're still on their way. He's on the other side of the road.
He'll be here in 25 minutes.

Fraser's been in touch, who is one of my best friends. Hi, Max.
As I was falling asleep last night, I was thinking about what did you do, Chalamet. It occurred to me.

It occurred to me that this really should be a 70-star sitcom, alas some mothers do avam, where the lead character is a lovable but inept Timothy Chalamay. He has a heart of gold.

He's always trying to help others, but everything he does always ends in disaster, cumularity, and someone uttering the show's title as the catchphrase at the critical moment.

Timothy can do his own stunts. Show title needs the stress on do and maybe the addition of a comma.
What did you do, Chalamet?

Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

And is he in the picture that they'll use for publicity? It's him with,

I don't know what I did, like palms facing upwards. Chalamay.
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Now, look, I did say two weeks ago that I would read out all the detective agencies that you start as children.

And then last week I said we'd do it this week, but we don't have time, so we'll do it next week.

But it is time now for Master Rind, Curdle. What did you fond do yesterday, to bree or not to bree?

Five,

four,

three,

two,

one.

I've got cheese. This is Jeeves.

Okay, so wonderful Bring. I don't know why you don't just tour that.
It would be a short show, but I think you would honestly, you would bring the house down.

If you just walked on in silence and just went, I'm going to do the catchphrase buzzer.

Here it is. And then walk off stage.
Just, how are we spelling it? I just... Oh, well,

in fact,

there is a transcription of this podcast. Like, it comes out.
If you go into the Apple thing. Does he? Yeah, you can read the full thing.

Which poor bastard is transcribing this?

It's a classic AI.

And I wonder what it makes of our... Well, I'd love to know how it's spelling.

Bizuring.

B-E-Z-O-U-R-I-N-G. Do you think by the end, by the time this podcast is really deeply established, you'll be a Scrabble book.
You know that? Yeah, they go.

And the new words in the Oxford English Dictionary are bizuring.

That's when we'll know.

It's always. And word of the year this year was, that's what I'm talking about.

All one word.

I'm really looking forward to that moment. I was in the card shop the other day and there was a new generic card that just said,

you got this. Oh, yeah, that's good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but I was trying to think of the context in which you would send that to someone.

I guess when they're undertaking, you know, they've got exams. Like a driving test? Driving test.

what is if if you've passed them a an sti yeah that's the exact context

the new capital and you open it up chlavidia

um anyway we're now it's now a two cheese board everybody um

because uh last week uh i forget who but they got compter in fourth position This week's guess is from Helen Walsh, who says, I promise faithfully I gave you five stars on Spotify. Thanks very much.

But it won't allow a written review. So here is my cheese selection for I'm a Celebrity,

about which I have obviously thought carefilly. And

Helen has no more puns. Here we go.

Cashel Blue.

Bing!

It's normally bing, bing, bing, bing. Oh, yeah, it is.
Hang on. Bing, one bing is right, but wrong place.
Excuse me, I forgot the very basics of this. Bing, bing, bing.
Manchego.

Bing, bing, bing.

Reblescham.

Compter.

Bing, bing, bing.

Goat. If I have to be more specific, a soft log like ragstone.

Ooh.

Oh,

bing.

Oh, right, cheese, wrong place.

Yes! We're finally! They're just normal cheeses! They're just normal cheeses, they're just normal cheeses, like goat, for example.

Right, so that's interesting because you have tried for the last three weeks to give the clue they're not all from cows, and I've allowed it. And now we have the goat cheese.

So now we have the top four.

This is sort of, it feels like unfair is other people have done the legwork, and now you can come in and steal what i think is has sort of quickly become the most exciting game show in podcasting at the moment and um on the shoulders of giants and that

nissan micra could be yours could be yours let's just

the set of carry cases the set of carry cases nissan micra and the speedboat could be yours so get your guesses in what did you do yesterday pod at gmail.com we'll take the guesses on x or Blue Sky or Instagram or whatever.

Now, David, you and I were trying to work out whose day it was. And we couldn't work out if it was your day or my day.

And then we thought it was your day, which was sad for me because I went to the zoo. I just did some things yesterday.
I went to the zoo.

I panicked, ate a lynch chocolate bunny because I was worried that... I have to pay my tax bill in Australia and I tried to transfer far too much money to the UK and it disappeared for five hours.

So I basically shat myself. And so I panicked, ate a lynch bunny and I bought my wife the wrong bagel seasoning.
There were some big moments in my day, but we can't talk about them.

And Ian shat in the bar. Yeah, we thought it was your day.
And I don't know if you had an interesting day or not yesterday. Yeah.
Well, my day was building up to I'm on a jokes WhatsApp group with

Sam Campbell and a number of others. And the topic was fish.
Okay. To post a good joke about fish by midnight.
Oh, that's good. That's good.
So that hung over the whole day. Oh, God.

And how good is it going to be? Because, you know, we know Sam's a funny guy. You're a funny guy.
Is everyone funny on it? Yeah.

There's good... Like, if you just put in like a piano tuna or whatever, it would just, it wouldn't even get a thumbs up.
Like, the reactions are emoji reactions to them. God, that's high.

That's huge, huge pressure. So you can't, you know, and you can't just.
droll out some typical puns. Do you have to do the whole joke or is it just, how does it work?

I mean, I can read you mine if you want. Yeah, you remember, I'll just go, that's good, as opposed to when you go bajuri.
I do know that.

Here's the two that I put in. When Emily Blunt was asked why she did salmon fishing in the Yemen, the movie, she said it was a Poisson project.
Oh, that's good. That's nice.

And I can't believe they've remade Scooby-Doo, but where the mystery team are vegetarians who only eat fish. And at the end of every episode,

the the bad guy says I would have got away with it except for you Pescatarian kids.

I really like that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I could see it coming, but I enjoyed it.

Yeah, that's a huge reaction.

None of my material has ever elicited that.

It has when I've come to watch you perform, just so you know. We've no proof of that.

I can't see you in the dark. I'm the guy at the back.
Come on, this is good stuff, guys. Laugh.
I'm that guy, really useful.

Okay, but so here's what's happened. Producer Michael Marsba, who you may know if you're a fan of Quick Kevin.
I don't know if he pops up on parenting.

He's just, you know, he's got his fingers in a lot of pies. This is his Poisson project, let's be real.

He has told us that his day yesterday was so incredible that we should do his day. I don't know how you feel about him muscling in on our turf, David.
What do you think about this?

He is, this is a three-person operation, this podcast.

And Marsbar

is always there.

He is is conducting, you know, the stuff that we do. So it's not like we're bringing in a new person.
We're just turning his mic up. Welcome, Mars Barr.
Hello. Hello.

Thank you for having me on and indulging this flight of fancy. Welcome to what did you do yesterday?

I will say, just at a producer level, I'm very sad that you both had those yesterdays and not one of your historically more mundane Mondays backs. I'm absolutely devastated.

I'd wrote down so many things because I thought it was my day so i'd taken notes on the day um because there was coffee gate for my wife can't get into it wow i listened to shanice's i love your smile and really was really happy about it

as that do do do do do do do do yeah yeah you can't fail to make you smile that's all i'm saying anyway over to you michael would you want us to ask questions as we would a normal episode because they normally take about an hour and 30 minutes and i don't well i think we if we split the difference okay okay i woke up at 4 a.m.

yesterday. That's damn.
Now,

I should say this is not my normal wake-up time, but two things. One, I am currently in New York.
Of course, he is. He's a high-roller.
Oh, unbelievable. So, there is a time difference issue.

And also, because we are currently four hours behind the UK,

I had a few things I had to kind of check up on in the morning UK time and make sure everyone was happy. One of them was this podcast recording.

I just had to make sure that the producer that was covering you guys yesterday had everything he needed.

I also do, throughout the day, drink a lot of water. Good for you.
10, 15 pints a day comfortably most days.

That can kill you. Yeah, that's a bin of water.
Over the course of a day, a pint an hour is. Totally acceptable.
Is this podcast doing so well?

And you're doing all these hyper deals for it the whole time in the background. You're just sweating.

you're on a treadmill the whole time with an earpiece on, just being like, Sure, I'll get the boys to mention squirrel energy again.

No, but I'll drink, I consume a lot of it when I eat, so I'll often drink two or three pints of water. What? Meals.
It's completely ridiculous. Yeah.
How can you find any space for food?

Do you do a lot of weeds then, Marisbar? And are they just one at the end of the day?

15

like a naked gun like this goes on forever yeah the last two hours of this day it's just me pissing relentlessly

so uh i go for a wee staying in hotel so the dilemma here is the toilet is directly off of the hotel bedroom and i have to make the decision do i flush the toilet and risk waking up my girlfriend at this early hour or

do i just let it sit so is it a one or a two uh well it's a one in this instance so I do decide to let it sit, but I do, I am given the choice or the option. I will always sit down to do a wee.

I'm a sit-down weeer. Oh, yeah.
Between midnight and seven, fine. With the high water intake, it's basically just water coming out.
You know, that's why I think it's fine to leave it there. Yeah.

You know, sometimes you do a pee and you look in and the toilet doesn't look any different. Yeah, I drank so much water, I'm basically pissing everyone.

It's just pure spring water secreting from the tip. I don't know if either of you are kind of regular sit-down weers.
Sometimes things can escalate unexpectedly when you sort of do a sit-down wee.

This is not one of those instances. Is this why you wanted to get? Is this why you said, I've got a really good day? Because I did a sit-down we that did not result in a pool.

You've got to be on. You've got to go on.

I try and go back to sleep, but I have to get up at around 5.15 anyway. At this point, my day has officially started.
Great. Okay.
So I get dressed, go out, and I go and try and find a coffee.

I don't remember the exact time, but it's not really light yet. It's sort of that weird dusk time.
So the only place I can find open is Dunkin' Donuts. Good.

And there's taxi drivers rowing and steaming vents. And people are going,

what you talking about? You're tiny what.

I've been to New York. I know the drill.
Yeah.

Big bird is just come in, and there's a grouch coming out of a bin in the corner.

I don't know how familiar either of you are with Dunkin' Donuts. They don't make a good hot coffee, is my experience.
I think, Max, you'd have a fit. No, you'd have to go black coffee.

I'd be all right. Get a black coffee.
I would never even, I wouldn't even think of doing anything more than just a black Americana at Dunkin' Donuts.

Don't, Max, stop trying to come across as a reasonable person as regards coffee. It'd be very simple for me.
I just got a black coffee, no big deal whatsoever.

So I've been burnt in the past with attempts at sort of a latte or an Americano, so I just go for an iced vanilla latte. Terrible start to the day.
It's way too sweet. It's so sweet.

It's sort of disgustingly sweet.

Well, I do get a glazed donut, obviously. But it's probably about a pint and a half of coffee.
Like it's insane how much coffee is. Yeah.
Go back to the hotel.

I'm just doing basic admin for a couple of hours, a couple of phone calls, nothing too exciting.

I'd say the most exciting thing is paying the outstanding storage locker, storage container fee for a big yellow storage that I have in London. That is overdue.
What have you got in those, Rosemary?

What have I got in that? I'd say 50% of it, and this is a cautionary tale for us on this podcast, is old, now probably useless podcast merchandise from Quickly Kevin, William Score,

from

back when we used to have the Patreon for that and we overestimated the demand for fridge magnets listing Nigel Martin's top five drinks and

a series of other incredibly niche football references. And now they aren't costing me in excess of £400 a month in big yellow storage fees.

It would be difficult to give them, you know, like if it was t-shirts, you could donate them to a charity. Yeah.

Whereas I don't think there's a charity which is fridge magnets for those with blank fridges

it's not a VT on comic relief is it

when they've just done some funny they've just done the gunk tank with Andy Craig and it cuts back to go and now we go to Shropshire where Mavis has never had a fridge magnet

and then Lenny Henry does a really moody sort of sad story with Mavis and now you come to the rescue yeah you're right you make a good point David not dissimilar to me I have 5,000 snap bracelets with the title of one of my albums on it in this house.

I have two of them in my house. I mean, I don't know where they are now, David, but you get

I gave, yes, I gave two to you, but uh, yeah, if anyone wants one, uh, just call over.

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It's probably, I mean, it's probably around 7.30 a.m.

Now, we've got to get a rattle on here, Michael. I mean,

the producer goes nuts if we really keep recording.

I'm getting a bit peckish by this point.

So I go downstairs to the lobby. There's a sort of coffee shop slash cafeteria.
I go back upstairs and then I decide. I'm too tired.
There's no way I'm making it through this day.

So I'm going to have a nap. Great.
And set my alarm. I have a system where I don't set an alarm.
I set the timer on the iPhone and I set it for one hour and nine minutes.

And I do the same every time because I figure I want an hour. That feels like a good nap.
And if I set it for an hour, it's going to take me anywhere between five and ten minutes to fall asleep.

So I don't get the full hour. So that nine minutes is my kind of like snoozy window to fall asleep to.
Yeah, got it. Got it.
Pressure, but you got a good idea. I fall asleep very quickly.

It's a proper sleep. It's not a nap.
I'm asleep. So much so that I hit reset on that alarm, but I don't really remember doing that.
It sort of happens. So I double, I double nap.

I'm asleep for like well over two hours. Two hours 18.
Brilliant. Wake up, bit groggy, decide I'm going to go and have an actual breakfast.

Go to his hotel nearby that's got a very nice, uh, fancy kind of restaurant as part of the hotel. But we're also filming in this hotel a bit later today.
So I think great. Two birds of one stone.

Sit down, have some breakfast. I'm feeling a bit decadent.
So I have a side of mac and cheese with my breakfast.

And 17 pints of water, obviously. Can I have a Make America Great Again baseball cap full of mac and cheese, please?

But I've got some issues with this mac and cheese in that

it comes and it's got it's got cauliflower in it. Oh, good.
That's that's nice. That's nice.

I don't agree. It's not, I, well, two things.
One is like I really dislike cauliflower anyway. Okay, that was an issue then.
That would be an issue for me. Yeah.
I think to me it's nature's mistake.

It's fine i don't mind other people eating it but what i object to is that needs to be very clear on the menu or when you're ordering it that it's got cauliflower

in it well so i'm a bit annoyed if the helicopter hears this she is gonna flip that's one of her secret go-tos now she tricks it up with like harissa and stuff like that but you know it's uh i guess you can trick anything up if you put enough delicious things in it yes carry on while i'm eating i'm in a sort of booth on my own there's two people in a booth behind me, and I can't really see them.

Occasionally, I'm Robert De Niro. It's heat.

Amazing.

We're not so different, you and me. Hang on, did we do that with Jess Napit? Yes, we did.
Sorry. It's Rosie Perez.

Just trying to think of other New York people. Is it Peter Hesketh? Are they bombing the Hooties and they're telling you about it? We're having a real

classified conversation in there. Okay.
So I recognise the voice.

At least I think I recognise the voice of one of them, but it's sort of impossible to look without it being like really a bit of sense to be able to do it.

You have to, of course, stand up on the chair, yeah. Anyway, I finish my food, pay the bill, and when I get up to leave, I'm now able to sort of turn around and look.

And the person sat in the boot next to me, whose voice I recognised is

it? It's Hugh Jackman, aka Wolverine. It's really good.

Did you book him for this pod? Yeah, I asked him.

He said he would do it, but only if we could do it today. But I thought that you and the listeners would rather hear about my day than Wolverine's.
So here we are. I leave the restaurant.

I have to go and pick up some supplies.

So I have to go to a pharmacy and then I have to return some clothes that my girlfriend bought last week because on the way over here, it didn't happen yesterday, but British Airways lost our bags on the way to New York.

So when we were arrived,

we had nothing essentially. Yeah, but is that not that nice situation where you can just buy all new stuff and then the airline pay for it? This has never happened to me.

I don't know if this actually works, but I've seen on consumer programs can you really push it yes well we we did that but we did it in a way that we sort of assumed we might not get our bags back for three or four days and it's a two-week long trip so we weren't quite sure we didn't want to be shopping for a new outfit every day because that's just a nuisance but you need your louis vuitton chaps

i got a taxi there on the way back i decided to get the subway back up to the hotel because it's very convenient. There's sort of two stops very nearby.

Now, I haven't gone on the subway in New York for quite a while. I quite like to walk in New York.
And something happened to me on the subway that's never happened to me before.

Certainly not in London. Was it that guy from Ghost? Was it that guy from Ghost who came and sort of shocked you?

Get off of my train.

No, when I went through and I used my Metro card, a person came through behind me and used me as the kind of decoy not to pay a fare.

And I sort of felt a bit violated by this. This is a bit real Englishman in New York thing, isn't it?

Marsbar's bowler hat fell off and he started hitting him with his umbrella. I see.

Sting is playing the saxophone there, just going,

I think the thing that bothered me is it's obviously a high volume of people that pass through any station. And he's looking or waiting.
He's decided on me as the kind of the weak link.

Like I've, you know, if it's like a heist movie, it's like I'm the mark. I'm the guy.

You're putsy. Yeah.
So, um, presumably, it's the turnstile system where it's the three-prong turnstile. Does he have to get in on your prong? So, is he effectively right up your ass, as we say?

We are more intimate than I have been with some of my ex-girlfriends at this point. Like, it's a real squeeze to get two people through that.
He's pegging you, and you never let them do that.

That is, I think, that is, he doesn't need to do that. Like, fair enough to go through, but he doesn't need to.
He doesn't need to go full peg.

Get to the hotel, back to the hotel where I've had my breakfast earlier.

And the reason we're back there is we are filming with a contributor for a documentary that I'm making outside of the podcasting world. And I have to meet the crew.

We have to set up the room, kind of light it, rig it, et cetera. This probably takes, I mean, at least two and a half to three hours.

Is it the what did you do yesterday story where you go back and interview everyone who's ever written into our podcast

yes we are there to interview the hollywood actor richard gere

okay good right okay this document is it first night is it looking back at first night

uh is where is that is he in that with sean connery i think he might be he is in that what i mean i really love first night but that's not a film i have spoken to anyone about since about 1997 well that's why i'm looking forward to the documentary um just you know i'll be in the cinema alone but yeah i'm joined here by richard gere star of first night

wow so you're meet richard gere this is good so we interviewed richard gere about specifically about his role in um american gigolo because the documentary we're making is about paul schraider who wrote and directed that movie he was uh very lovely very nice very charming taller than i imagined correct i don't know why i thought richard gere was going to be sort of five foot six or seven.

Is he still hot? Is he still hot, Marisborough? He looks, he's 75 years old. He looks incredible.
Is he?

Okay, right. So we're post-gear.
We're post-gear. Head back to the hotel, have a shower, and get changed because I need to head to the Empire State Building.
Wow.

This is very new, very real stereotypes of New York here.

Are you free climbing?

Do you

see me get to the top?

No, but I do make my way up to the the observation deck on the Empire State Building.

And I'm due to meet my partner there at my girlfriend at 8.45pm.

So a bit of context for me and my partner is that we actually met for the very first time at the top of the Empire State Building. Whoa!

Is she King Kong?

I don't know if you could describe someone that's about.

Girlfriend is a big Harry Ape. Was it on, did you meet her on Tinder in like Walthamstowe? And then you just thought, I'm going to go big here.
What about here by a state building?

Or were you both tourists? So, very briefly, yes. What had happened was

the tail end of my well, my previous breakup spent six months where I was single and I was going to visit my friend. He had moved to LA to become a screenwriter.

And I thought, I'm going to go and visit him. I'm going to stop over in New York on the way for a couple of weeks, visit some friends.
And I thought, well, I'm single.

So I had changed my location to New York to go on the dating apps. And my partner, who was also that summer due to move to New York for the summer to work, had done the same thing.

Now, she's from Birmingham, UK. I lived in London.
And we just coincidentally that same week had both changed our geolocation to New York. Ended up matching on there.
We're talking and talking.

And it just turned out, although we got along, we were never going to be in the same country or the same city at the same time. Oh, my goodness.
She was coming to New York. I was going to be in LA.

I was going to then go back to the UK. She was coming back to Birmingham.
But at that point, I had to go on a shoot in Europe. So it was like, oh, this is a real shame.

We're really getting along here. We're talking a lot.
So I did a huge, ridiculous, bold move and said, well, why don't I fly you out to New York and let's just have our first date here.

Oh, podcast doing well? Because it would be a, well, there was no podcast business at that point.

This is pre, this is pre-keep it light. This is old money.
It's old money. I just thought it would be a kind of really fun, sweeping, romantic gesture.
And if we didn't get along, so be it.

It's a fun alley. Funny story, yeah.
Funny story. Yeah, why not? So you flew her from Birmingham to New York for a first date.
Yeah, for a first date.

And then I decided, well, if you can control that element of it, why don't we just meet at the top of the Empire State Building for the first time?

That's funny as funny. I'm a big movie fan.
I'm a romantic at heart. And then I thought, well,

by this point, we've been talking to each other for about four or five weeks. There's not much left to say.
Why don't we just meet at the top of the Empire State Building and just have a kiss?

Don't say anything. We just kiss.

See what happens. And we'll know quite quite quickly whether there's any chemistry.
Wow. Obviously, we met.
That was amazing. We spent a brilliant week together in New York.
Oh, that's nice.

You were both arrested for having sex on top of the while state women.

But you have mug shots on the day you met. It's good.
So back to present day, yesterday. She turns up.
We kiss again when she arrives. And then I get down on one knee and I ask her

if she will marry me.

Oh, my goodness.

And you did all of that just so you could be on a podcast. That is amazing.
No, that's okay. Sorry.
That's beautiful.

Go for a really nice steak dinner, walk back to the hotel. So it's probably sort of just after midnight.
I then have to do some admin for this podcast. That's sexy.

That's the horniest time in your life.

And

you're like, I just have to see

if Max's mic has

reconnected to his laptop. Well, as I was cutting and pasting stories from our inbox at about quarter to 1 a.m.
last night, as my now fiancé is in the other room going, what the fuck are you doing?

Interestingly,

did I read any of them out at the start of this episode or not?

Like, you could have just done without it. Okay, that's lucky.
No,

there was a couple that I was like, okay, that was worth it. But also, I had to get the cheese game.
Guess how? You gotta get the cheese game. You gotta get the cheese game.
Screaming into her.

I'm just doing the cheese.

If this is what Mary's life's gonna be like, just stop badgering me for fuck's sake. I'm doing my fucking job to do.

Her endorse, her endorse, badgering me about this. I've got a self-colonel.

God.

And then the very last thing I did that day was send the email to you both with the links for

this episode that we're recording now. Went to sleep and probably have had about three hours, maybe three and a half hours sleep.

And now you have this podcast for posterity. Yeah, I do like that.
Yeah, I'm very happy you've come on now to tell us about it. Holy cow.
Congratulations. Congratulations, Mark.
Thank you.

Oh, I'm delighted. It's our first, what did you do yesterday wedding? Yeah.
This is so exciting. Oh, my goodness.
Congratulations, Michael. Yeah.
Well, thank you for indulging that story.

I mean, it was indulgent because, you know, as I said, Ian did do a shit in the bath. We could have had a really good yesterday from me.
You know, I wrote a joke about a fish. Come on.

If you want to get in touch with how you proposed,

what did you do yesterday at gmail.com?

No, what did you do yesterday? Pod at gmail.com. I wonder who's got that Gmail.
They're getting in undated, aren't they?

I don't eat this stuff. What's going on? Talking about squirrels? Of course I know they don't know Ibernate.

Otherwise, that's it. We can go.
We can all go and have a sleep. All right, let's do it again next week.
Thanks, guys. Congratulations, Morris Bro.
Congratulations, mate. Thank you.