WDWDY #11: A day of hope and possum-bilities

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Podcasts, there are millions of them.

Some might say too many.

I have one already.

I don't have any, because there are enough.

Politics, business, sport, you name it.

There's a podcast about it, and they all ask the big questions and cover the hot topics of the day.

But nobody is covering the most important topic of all.

Why is that?

Are they scared?

Too afraid of being censored by the man?

Possibly, but not us.

We're here to ask the only question that matters.

We'll try and say it at the same time, Max.

What did you do yesterday?

What did you do yesterday?

What did you do yesterday?

That's it.

All we're interested in is what the guests got up to yesterday, nothing more.

Day before yesterday, Max?

Nope.

The greatest and most interesting day of your life?

Unless it was yesterday, we don't want to know about it.

I'm Max Rushton.

And I'm David O'Doherty.

Welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday?

Good evening, hello, or good morning, depending on when you're listening, or good day.

This is Midweek Mayhem.

Wow.

New intro here.

Do you know what I wanted?

I just wanted to start this one with a bit more punch than last week's Midweek Mayhem.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

That very much.

I sort of fell onto the page there, and I didn't want that.

I was worried I'd set a precedent for the broadcasting levels on this podcast.

And that sounded like the king's speech that you were making.

This was their finest hour.

The thing that stayed with me from our recent chats, Max,

is the, and I'm so sorry to the listeners for this, is just worm feet.

And because it appeared in a dream, because

so it's basically you see, oh my goodness, you see sort of fossils of worms going up your ankles.

You see the trails.

They're sort of like, they're like red.

Imagine the motorways on the map of Britain were red and not blue yeah it would look like that it would look like that yeah but it was just on the top of my feet my sort of metatarsal region they didn't go into the onto the shin or anything you're lucky it didn't coincide with probably the greatest disagreement we've ever had which was your advocacy for the short sock yeah

you did cut you did admit on live on the podcast you enjoyed those little natty socks and do you know what i've i've kind of stopped wearing them since

I now wear a full ankle, you know, above the ankle sock almost every day now.

Johnson, feedback.

Go on.

James says, hello, Max and David.

I'm a bit delayed in suggesting due to catching up on episodes, but David's cooking fusion scenario missed a golden opportunity, in my opinion.

As an Irishman blending Italian ragu with Mexican burrito styles, he should have fused with Norwegian cuisine, not Japanese, thus replicating the four countries from Group E of USA 94.

Will he ever get the chance again?

Only time will tell.

Thank you, James.

That's a great spot, isn't it?

Yeah.

Lovely spot.

Carl says, hi lads.

I'm a few weeks behind.

And I've just finished listening to Rhys James' episode where he describes Tom Rosenthal's prodigious birthday pineapple consumption.

You wanted to know how much pineapple we've eaten in a day.

When I was training for a marathon, after a 20-mile run in the heat, I nipped into Tesco Extra, where they had two very large, very ripe pineapples, reduced to clear for about 10p each.

I bought both, got them home, and with an insatiable thirst and sugar lust, ate them both in one sitting.

What?

Shortly afterwards, my lips peeled, my tongue peeled, and I'm extremely sorry to say, my anus peeled.

It is a shame that the pod format will mean you will never be able to ask Tom if he suffered the same tropical consequences.

Thanks, Carl.

And we couldn't because Tom ate no pineapple on his yesterday.

Pineapple is one of those magical foods, isn't it?

That it's better for you if you eat it in its raw form.

You know, because the fiber all breaks down if you try and make a pineapple smoothie or whatever.

But yeah, there is that downside that your anus will peel.

Yeah, They should put that warning on pineapples.

I don't think, I mean, I rarely, how often do you buy a pineapple?

I reckon I buy two a year, I'm gonna say, maximum two a year, and I don't often check the stickers on things.

Um, but I don't think it says risk of anal peeling, I don't think there's got to be someone from our many, many listeners who's a pineapple expert.

Does the science back this up?

Is that a real dangerous problem?

I could get in touch with a man from Del Monte.

I played cricket with him.

Of course.

Anyway, Tom says, Dear Max and David, I found your pod via Max's football work.

Yes, I'm a big fan of both of you.

He says, Although not yesterday, three days ago, despite my Italian partner dismissing me as gassy and dramatic, I ended up having my appendix removed.

At 3 a.m.

post-op, as a gentleman noisily relieved himself into a commode uncomfortably close to my head, separated only by a thin curtain, your podcast offered me much-needed light relief.

I realized while laughing that he could hear me and perhaps thought I was laughing at his dramatic grunts.

I tried to avoid eye contact for the rest of my time on the ward.

Thank you for at least masking the noise of scatology with discussions of it.

Keep up the great work, Tom.

Thank you, Tom.

Yet another use for this podcast.

You can listen to it while you're milking cows.

You can listen to it while someone's relieving themselves close to your head.

Or if you're trying to build a heron deterrent with a woodwind instrument, it's also

incredibly useful.

This is from Jess.

It was a review before we asked for cheese-based reviews.

And it's quite complimentary, but it's, you know, I don't like to read just compliments, but it's good at the end.

I must admit, I feel like I'm cheating on my old favourite podcasts, but I have to be honest and say that this is the podcast I look forward to the most.

And I'm so happy we get a bonus episode each week.

The title, by the way, is Came for David, Stayed for the Joy of It All.

I love Max's laugh and as an Australian Victorian, I love hearing his references to Aussie places and things.

It has also made me feel like I have much more productive life than I thought I did.

That was one of the aims of this.

As a strange and unexpected side effect, I've found myself saying to my kids on more than one occasion, if it didn't happen yesterday, I don't want to hear about it.

That's why, yeah, she should never become a therapist.

You know, where let's

go back and try and work.

No,

no, no, no.

It is a tricky one, that the Aussie town city place pronunciation.

Because sometimes, have you noticed this, Max?

They want the Aussies want you to say it almost in a comical Aussie accent.

Like take, there's a place called Cairns, C-A-K-I-R-N-S, which I pronounce as Cairns, but they leave out, they don't really do the R that much.

I know Irish people overdo the Rs.

So they say Cairns.

Yeah.

And I'll go Cairns.

And they're like, no, can't.

Yeah.

So, interestingly, Australians really don't like people just putting on shit Australian accents to their faces.

And, you know, unsurprisingly, and I've seen my wife had that in London a lot, where, you know, even really nice people that we really liked would go, Struth, Cobber.

And she'd be like, oh, I mean, like, what do you want me to do?

Like, you know.

Well, on this tour at the moment, around

your homeland, a lot of the time

in hotels, they'll they'll be like, What name is it?

Books?

I'll be like, David O'Daugherty.

And they're like, What is this little rhyme that this man has said?

So

they'll say, Can you spell it?

And then when I spell my name in order to check into the holiday inn in Coventry, I will sort of ingo it up a little bit.

So I'll be like, O D O, and normally I'd say H there, but you say H.

So I'd sort of say D-O-H-E.

And then I'd go R-R

normally, but you don't say that.

So I have to go D-O-H-E-R-T-Y, like I'm Jeremy Irons or something.

Yeah, well, no, you're just, you're like a social chameleon.

I think it's totally acceptable.

Cheers, mate.

Mick says, I'm Axon David.

Listen to the Mark Watson episode, I was reminded of my favorite celebrity restaurant endorsement here in Edinburgh.

Plastered all over the walls and the takeaway menu of our local Chinese restaurant was a quote from Ken Hom of hot rock fame.

Wow.

Was it excellent?

Did it espouse the tremendous flavors?

No, the quote of which they were so proud was better than expected.

Sadly, the restaurant's no longer with us despite Ken's best efforts.

Great show as always.

Mick.

Thank you, Mick.

Should we do a Curtle Wirdle?

Curdle, what did you fund you yesterday?

I'd love to.

Please, can someone get one, please?

Okay, do you want to do the buzzer or not?

You don't have to.

Busy!

I really went for it there.

You know, I think I need that as a ringtone or just if everyone feeling totally sort of annihilated with exhaustion because I have two children.

Do you think I could do a cameo where my whole cameo thing

is just me doing the buzzer from catchphrase?

This week is the turn of Blitz and Bobs via their five-star review on iTunes.

If you'd like to enter Kurdle, presuming that Blitz and Bobs doesn't get all five cheeses, they're just normal cheeses, then you have to do it via a five-star review on iTunes.

It's interesting to say that the first time we suggested this, we got loads.

People are starting to see this maybe as we're trying to game the system.

Maybe we are.

But you know, this is important.

So please help us game the system.

Five.

Four.

three

two

one

I've got cheese!

This is cheese!

Here is Blitz and Bob's guesses.

He says, I found this podcast by accident and now tune in every week to see what the cheese choices are.

I kind of hope no one gets them, or at least just the odd one.

So here are my guesses.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

By accident is just the image I've had there is him slipping, his head smashing off his laptop or his phone, and just as he lays concussed on the ground, this just somehow.

Thanks, Blitz and Bob.

Cash Old Blue.

Bing bing, bing, bing, bing, bing.

Manchego.

Bing bing bing bing bing bing.

100% so far.

Red Leicester.

Emental.

Share.

Sharefruit.

Oh, I can't believe it.

We must be.

We must be.

There must only be three normal cheeses left.

They're just normal cheeses.

Someone to get one, because now it seems like...

Because the guesses are going to start going more out into the woods now.

But they're just...

Like, I'm looking at them.

Can I give a clue?

No, absolutely.

You cannot.

No clues.

Like, it's better if it goes on forever.

Because then when we finally get there, it will be such a big moment.

and the thing is i don't know what the cheeses are either this is a pure game you don't get clues on wordle so you don't get clues on curdle the first guess ever was correct and i was thinking well this is the genius of rushton as a broadcaster he can see that this is going to take a nice maybe six episodes to get right everyone will keep getting one there's going to be a real sense of progression of movement with it now we

however you don't you haven't listened to a lot of my broadcasting work

we once did me and Barry once did the whole of Euro I'm gonna say Euro 2012 maybe 2016 by dice so we worked out how many games it's this is like how many games are in the euros 50 games I don't know whatever

so we started or like 30 games we started that many weeks before the Euros began and each week we did dice

and each game we played And then it turned out the final was like Turkey v Croatia.

So we did the whole, the two-hour show.

We did an hour and a half buildup for Turkey v.

Croatia by Dice.

Anthems, we got guests, whatever.

But for some reason, our show was half hour shorter because there was some rugby league match playing.

So we said after the break, the final.

And then Adrian Durham just took over in Hull and presented the rugby league final.

We never did the thing.

But we will get to the end of Kirdle, I promise you.

All right.

It's your day, David.

It's your day.

Do you want to know about my yesterday?

Yes, please.

Ask me what I did yesterday.

What did you do yesterday, David?

O'Dahidi?

I woke up somewhat unusually.

I am sleeping in the spare room.

Okay.

Is there trouble with Helencopter?

Is there trouble in Helencopter Towers?

Or are you so annoyed that she has to wake up at seven to book her spin trash?

And she's doing

exams at the moment.

Right.

So with her furthering of her academic and professional career,

we are back to exams.

And she's,

this one is like quite a rote learning based exam.

So she's just staying up till two or three in the morning doing it over and over and over.

Yeah, it finishes now.

It's fine.

So I said,

I woke up in the spare room is what I'm saying.

Okay.

But I wake up with her coming in with a...

cup of coffee and an electrolyte orange drink.

She unfortunately wakes me at a very dank time in my REM cycle, is how I'm going to put it.

So not only do I have no idea who she is, but I have no idea who I am.

Why am I here?

What era?

And there's a sort of time bandits vibe to it.

Just what is this?

What is this drink?

What do I do with it?

I have no idea.

And I think she, because she's fully dressed, because she's got up early to do more study.

She is expecting some some of the classic chat from me.

But unfortunately, I can't remember the language either.

I'm a blank page, basically.

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Rules and restrictions apply.

How long does this last?

You need to get up and go to the loo, brush your teeth.

You need to do something.

Probably the coffee does help in that situation, but

we leave her to her studies.

Great.

Campbell style.

I've decided I'm going to get out of the house

and get on the bike.

Okay.

Straight Straight up.

Straight up to the Phoenix Park.

Bike one through 18.

But I'm saying you pick bike seven.

Ah, great, great question, Hiro.

And I've picked the one that I've been riding a lot over the winter with the slightly wider tires.

It's a old Bianchi cyclocross bike that I've put modern componentry onto.

I do have something of a revelation on this cycle.

Okay.

I've put in my headphones once I get to the park, okay?

And

it's so relentlessly shit, the news at the moment.

It is.

Because Trump had just done the State of the Union address or whatever.

Yeah.

And so they're talking about that.

And do you know the revelation is I actually don't need to listen to this.

Like, I know what he said.

I'm in.

probably the most beautiful place in Dublin.

Let's just not.

Let's just take out these headphones.

I know I'm literally advertising for not listening to podcasts now, Max.

Yeah, but you know, the point is with

you have to listen to our podcasts, right?

Because you don't know what the denouement will be of anyone's day, but you don't need to listen to the Trump one because you will find out when he just nukes Ireland and then

you'll just explode.

Okay, so you opted for silence.

I opted for nature.

I mean, you are more aware of your body when you're not, you know, enclosing yourself in with that.

And you know what?

I realized I'm too hot.

I'm taking my coat off and just cycling in my shirt.

And that's interesting because that's the first time this year

I've taken my coat off on the bike.

And while it is cold when you're in the shadows under the trees, it's absolutely beautiful when you're in the direct sun.

So we then get the panic text message during this, which is, David, what is the name of your Edinburgh show, which would be the title of your comedy work for the next year to 18 months?

And is it, is it, um,

I'm having such a good time with Max on a two twice a week.

Is it called that?

I'm not going to call it that.

I know.

You don't have to want it to be called that.

Thinking about it now, that's slightly self-indulgent on my part.

The show, I had a few ideas in my head, a few possibilities, but you need something like this, which is, David, there's a

noon deadline.

What's the show called?

Yeah.

So I had it down the two possibilities where, well, Keyboard Warrior was one

because I play the keyboard.

I know, but I don't want it to think that it's about my online life.

Okay.

Then, so we went for Highway to the David Zone.

Lovely.

Which is,

I mean, it's a reference to the theme from Top Gun, sure,

but uh, even if you don't know that that's what the reference is, I enjoy a bad,

not a bad pun, like, so it's Highway to the Danger Zone is the real one.

David sounds a little bit like danger, but it's just in the fact that it's just hanging there.

I love that.

And what is good is when we do live shows, when you're bored of writing tours and we can just go and do Edinburgh,

we will be oiled up like Maverick and Goose from Top Gun in the volleyball.

We'll basically

you and I will play volleyball against the audience and we'll be oiled up with shades and they'll be a net and then they'll all play and we'll just have a that's what the live show will be.

Which of us is Goose and which of us is John Cruz?

Who's Dolph Lundgren in this situation?

Was it Dolph Lundgren?

No, Val Kilmer.

Who's Val Kilmer?

Yeah.

Are you thinking from previous guests?

No, Rory Stewart, maybe?

Yeah, okay.

Yeah, okay.

Another elite podcaster.

So yeah, Val Kilmer is Rory Stewart.

Yeah.

I don't know any of the other stuff.

I don't know who the other stuff.

I don't know anyone else in Top Gun apart from those.

Okay, fine.

Yeah.

But yeah, all the other people in the volleyball court are, you know, Joe Rogan's there, you know, James A.

Caster and Ed Gamble and Josh Whitaker.

They're all, you know, they're all there.

So we've named the show.

I mean, there's a boring stuff that I won't go into where they're like, send us the picture for the brochure.

And what they mean is, send us the picture that you've organized with a professional photographer, maybe old Michael Kelly, who

can do this.

Oh, with the big table.

I can't.

Just...

I haven't done it, Max.

So then I frantically start just looking for selfies on my phone.

Do any of these look like a professionally taken headshot?

Not really.

I've got my tongue out in a lot of them.

I'm giving the fingers.

I've got an issue, which is when I write a column for The Guardian, they still, they use a picture that was taken for Soccer and Primo in 2009.

And I have...

That's a hot picture.

Hot picture.

I don't have any gray hair.

I don't have any children.

I look good.

I look awake.

I don't have this spot on the side of my nose.

And I have email to say, look, this is not like, this is not a, you know, we, we, the Guardian pride itself in accuracy, right?

And this is not an accurate, this is not an accurate portrayal of me anymore.

But like, I just, they just say the, the size of the photos you've seen us doesn't, and I'm not going to organize a photo shoot like that.

Like, I'm not going to do that.

So we're stuck with it.

It's difficult.

I see, I think that's what happens with, you know, Americans a lot of the time, where you keep using the old picture and then the drop-off will be so severe.

Yeah, Max, you look great.

Can I just say that?

You know, that I think you look great since you've sorted the foot thing out.

It's almost perfect.

I don't know.

I got on the tram yesterday, and my neighbor Mary said, You look so tired.

And she's 80.

I mean, I'm not saying

did you say to her, you look absolutely wrecked, Mary?

No, to be fair, she looks, she's pretty sprightly, I would say.

So I

continue the cycle, call over to my dad.

I'll bring dad some

lunch and help him with a few things that he needs done.

What did you bring him for lunch?

I brought him a mortadella sandwich

from

the nice place around the corner.

Do you want to play a game that my wife used to play?

Is it guess the cheese is in the mortadella sandwich?

No, no, no.

It's called mortadella or mozzarella.

And she puts on like a cod Italian voice and says, am I saying mozzarella or mortadella?

And she goes, mozzarella!

Modadella!

And then

it's a good game.

Good game.

Culturally inappropriate game?

I don't know.

No, I think it's a good game.

Yeah, it's a good game.

Definitely.

Yeah, there's another one you can play

pen or pin.

Pen or pin.

And when you put on a New Zealand accent and you say,

pin.

Have I said pin or pen?

Anyway, there are so many.

I had this with, I knew two separate New Zealanders called Fan.

One was called Fan, yeah, and one was called Finn.

Ah, that is a problem.

And it's it's really difficult because, yeah, it's it's basically pan-pin.

Except they would both, what I found amazing about it was to the tuned ear of the Kiwi, you were able to be like, I would to see

Finn.

And I'd be like, oh, so is that Fan or Finn?

I'd be like,

the Finn.

That'd be Finn.

I said, Finn.

You're talking about Finn.

Have you seen?

I just can't do it.

Have you seen that amazing clip on Instagram of

some businessy podcast?

And the host says, you know, would you, if there's anything you could do again?

And this guy says,

I'd spend less time with, I'm going to sound South African, so I apologize.

He said, I'd spend less time with dickheads.

But the guy understands him as I'd spend less time with the kids.

And he's like, I can't believe anybody would say, I'd spend less time with the kids.

And he's like, oh, not the kids.

And I would, he goes, oh, they just waste your time.

And it's like, the kids.

It's like, no, no, no, dickheads.

Anyway, it's amazing.

It's an amazing clip.

Okay, so where are we?

I'm lost.

You're at your dad's house.

We were over with dad.

He's never backed up his phone onto his laptop.

Okay.

So he is amazed to see a thousand photos from the past just appear on, because you you know, the way as you load them onto the laptop, each one kind of like in um, they it just briefly appears on the screen.

I'll tell you what I was trying to think of there.

What was the show that Larry Grayson used Supermarket Sweep or one of those?

Anyway, they would appear on the screen.

He'd be like, I remember that, I remember that, I remember that.

It was a bit like, you know, when you die and your life passes before your eyes, it turns out it's just a sequence of iPhoto pictures.

We remove the moss off the top of his car.

That's a nice moment there because

he provides the initiative to do it, but then he can't.

He's a short man.

As we know, my mother is six foot and my dad is five foot five.

Leading to my very strange proportions.

Tiny, tiny legs.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Immensely long torso.

But the long torso means that I can lean right across.

We get

the, he's been parking under trees too much.

Right.

And over the winter, the roof has gone green.

So we get, is it called a scotch pad, which is just a light scouring.

It works a tree.

It's an incredible.

Lovely job.

Yeah, it's one of those jobs where when you finish it, you're like, wow, we've done that.

The internet could not have done a better job than this.

Well done.

We need our gutters.

done.

There's actually like a tree growing in one of them.

Oh, yeah.

I just can't get around to to I don't have a ladder.

And B, I feel like it's going to, there's someone who's going to charge me too much.

So I'm going to be offended by how much someone charges me.

But I'm not going to do it until basically the gutter just winter comes and it'll fall off.

And I'll be like, it's so easy to do, Max.

Come on.

Surely you can go up a ladder.

Okay, I'll tell you what, I'll try and do it the day before.

I'm going to do what did you do yesterday?

And we can have the momentum.

Okay.

The fear is in Australia that what do you call the lads, the big squirrels, not wombats, possums, the ones that live in trees, possums,

that they don't they come and live in roofs sometimes that you might disturb

a family of possums then.

It's a possibility.

Well, I mean, it's a possibility.

Do you want me to write your own show with you?

Gret it.

So next up, I need to help my brother with a self-tape.

Can you please stop laughing at your own joke?

And to the listeners,

to not say that I've filmed my day.

You've done so many really good jokes while we've done this.

And I just go, yeah, very good.

But possibility, and I've gone.

My brother needs help with a self-tape.

Now, a lot of people have never helped someone with a self-tape.

A self-tape is where it's where you film kind of before they call you in for an audition for a thing, you record a version of it on your phone.

Okay.

Now,

if it's a scene with dialogue, you need, so you lock off your phone, you lean it on things, and then you get your brother to be the three other characters, which to be honest, is a much more demanding job because there's times where I am having conversations with myself.

And you also don't want to scene steal here.

I'm not saying I'm better than a professional actor like my brother, but I really go for it with these characters.

Do you surreptitiously put your own phone on the bookshelf and have made yourself a tape?

And so when he gets to the, gets on set, you're playing those other three parts.

Like Steve Martin always plays more than at least three people in every film.

Andy Murphy.

Yeah, exactly.

That's exactly it.

And at one point, he does say, you're too loud.

So I think the problem would have been, yeah, just there's a man shouting off camera here.

That's put us off.

And did the role require shouting?

What do you mean?

No.

It was a sort of kitchen sink drama with...

people coming and going through rooms.

I played a stroppy teen.

I played my brother's wife and I played

someone else as well.

Well, good luck.

We nailed it.

We did it.

Got it.

Probably did four takes.

Takes longer than you think.

You need a white background.

That's one of the problems with it because there's too many colors in this house.

So my brother, in order to get a white background, needs to sort of kneel down with the phone leaning on a chair.

And why can't casting directors possibly hire somebody like Phil Wang can now never be in any movie because of the cook's blue wall.

Like, what possibly, you know, what if Laurence Olivier delivers this amazing tape, but he's got like a mustard wall?

Are they so uptight they just can't see past the mustard?

I remember once, you know, the numerous rules.

Maybe this isn't even the case anymore in the digital age.

Do you remember passport photos used to be so serious?

Yeah.

Like you had to have the top of your head, it had to be visible, and it had to be a white background.

You couldn't, in the old booths, you could pull a curtain across or their back.

I remember once being sent off, no, not this, because uh, the jacket I was wearing had are they called epaulettes, epaulettes, yeah,

yeah,

which made me look like a military man.

So you're not allowed to appear in your military fatigues.

We had to get Ian a passport photo when he was about a week old because we were coming back to the UK.

And your eyes have to be open.

And that is like, it took fucking hours, like hours.

It was agony.

And the queue at the post office, honestly, you've never seen an angrier set of people than the post office at Northcote Plaza as this baby just wouldn't play ball in this tiny white bouncer.

Anyway, we got there eventually.

And now, obviously, he's three.

He looks nothing like he did as a baby.

So they literally just waved it through.

We could be taking any toddler around the world.

And they just go, sure.

Can you imagine they said, it doesn't look like him?

And you'd be like, oh my God, have you seen how much stuff we've got?

Like, just led us through.

Like,

I do love the idea that you finally get one where he's got his eyes open.

And then you realize he's wearing an Otto Van Bismarck star World War I helmet.

Sorry, this baby shouldn't be in his military fatigue.

Why did you put him in the Biggles outfit?

For goodness sake.

So.

Then we have a little interregnum where I've realized I've killed more plants.

I've been trying to, I looked at some YouTubes about how to sustain crappy supermarket herbs.

Oh, yeah.

And it's generally, it says replant them immediately into compost rich.

I want to be the sort of person that has, there's a house near me, and the whole front hedge is a rosemary bush.

Yeah.

That's the person I want to be, you know?

Do you know what?

We had a massive rosemary bush in our garden.

We got rid of it.

Did you?

Yeah.

Why?

Because

it was just

like stickoted space.

Like, more important for our days is somewhere a toddler can around than the on the occasion where one of us says, I'm roasting a leg of lamb.

Do you have, do you have a sprig of rosemary per chance?

No.

So I know what you mean.

I know what you mean.

Yeah.

Wow.

Interesting.

I hope to get rid of the bush.

You threw a full cow into it and then lit the bush on fire, leading to the most sumptuous feast.

of course

you put four possums into it and you had rosemary possums delicious i'm now trying to think of a possum based pun on gross excuse me five minutes um anyway

it's uh it's dinner time uh oh i made too much the day before so i reheat but i trick it up a bit then as well you've tricked up things before so yes i have but no no no no this so i'm into spatchcocking spatchcocking at the moment.

Okay.

If I see anything, I just immediately spatchcock it.

That sounds like, that does sound like something that a crypto bro would say.

You know, how was your night last night?

Oh, I spatchcocked them.

We need to spatchcock the podcasting market.

That's what this podcast needs to do.

I'd spatchcocked and then very simple.

You see, this is a recipe that I didn't get from a box max with tiny ingredients yeah i know imagine that tonight we actually had from the box we had i said chicken with broccoli and like in a like a risoni risotto type thing and i was like david would be furious that we got this because often they are a bit cleverer than we would choose and i was like david would kill us for this it's just chicken it's just chicken and broccoli in a risotto like we've let ourselves down here anyway you're one chicken in a box that's what it is yep the you just microwave it you just place the whole box directly into the microwave and you're like wow we've really made a great dinner here haven't we

delicious the uh yeah i trick it up i throw in some broccoli also and some

and then i throw some garlic on that some lardons and yeah just generally

vibe it out now it goes down very well it's good brain food i think but then we need to keep her spirits up while she's in this period of learning So is the exam today or the exam, like, has she had the exam?

The exam is today.

Ah, it's today, not yesterday.

No, it's not yesterday.

No, okay, right, okay.

All right.

Have you made her a dessert, a Vienetta?

What have we got here?

Yes.

So we missed pancake day.

So then I'm like, I'm going to surprise her with this.

This will be great.

There's no flour.

Ah.

Okay.

Okay.

But I tell you a great thing.

You wouldn't know this because you just read recipes off cards.

But what you can do is there's always substitutions for things.

Oh, yeah.

There's always substitutions.

So

it says porridge oats, just really grind them down, get them super, super tiny, and they will make a very healthy.

So do that.

What really dehealths it then is the stuff that I insist on putting into it, which is a Kinder kind of bueno bar.

Lovely.

Fold it over so it melts.

And I find in the freezer, do you have an ice cream called an iceberger?

No.

Which is a sort of a chocolatey, sodden wafer on each side.

And I know that.

Yeah, I know what you're talking about.

I'm pretty sure it does exist in Britain and Australia.

It's called an iceberger here.

So I cut that into slivers and put it in as well.

So, yeah, it's fire and ice.

That's what this is.

We're heating an ice pop in a pan.

Are you joking me?

It's one of the most delicious things that anyone has ever tasted.

Lovely.

Yeah, she is happy.

We have a little bit of a chat before she needs to go back up because it is

the last night.

And so I return to the this room, the sad basement, where I record these podcasts.

And I decide to watch, I think it's called The Greatest Night in Pop.

It's on Netflix, it's a documentary about We Are the World

and the recording of it

with

many of

all the stars of the 80s.

Can I guess?

Can I have some guesses who's in it?

Yes.

I mean,

it's Sean Fischer.

Luther van Dross.

No, no, no.

Luther.

Lionel Richards.

Yes, Lionel writes, Lionel Lionel and Michael Jackson write the song.

Paul Young.

No, because he's already been in the Band-Aid one.

Oh, right.

Okay.

So does the Give Us Your Fucking Money.

Yeah, I know it.

Bob Geldoff.

Mid Euro one.

So this was the American See That.

And

Quincy Jones and Lionel decide to take their lead.

And they write their own anthem.

Yeah.

I mean, I know the song.

I know the video, but I just can't remember anyone who's in it.

You got Lionel.

You've got MJ.

You got people like Huey Lewis.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

Cindy Lauper.

Good.

And then if you're ever looking for a metaphor for fish out of water, you've got Bob Dylan.

Yeah.

So

Bruce, they get Bruce somehow.

Lovely.

I think Lionel might be friends with Bruce.

Yeah.

And when Bruce, I think, opens the floodgates to a lot of other people then.

And you would, wouldn't you?

Because you'd do anything for Bruce Springsteen.

Yeah, I would do it.

someone said Bruce is involved and would love you to be there,

I would, whatever that thing was,

I would definitely do it.

Even if it was just, you know, a game of frisbee in the park or something like that.

Bruce Springsteen's going to be there.

Yeah.

He does love it.

He's in the WhatsApp group and he's the first to apply.

In you're like, okay.

Suddenly everybody joins.

The boss is playing, let's play Ultimate Frisbee in the park with Bruce Springsteen.

He can't get enough.

The

Geldoff comes out, is actually in this briefly and delivers an amazing speech.

It's got, you got Diana Ross.

You've got, I can keep naming names.

Whoever you're thinking of, they're there.

There's 47.

Waylon Jennings walks out because Stevie Wonder is taking too long to rewrite the chorus of it.

And Stevie wants to put a bit in Swahili into it.

And Waylon Jennings says, Good old boys don't sing in Swahili and walks out.

So he is the one that they lose.

But Kenny Rogers stays.

Kenny Loggins stays.

Loggins is there.

Now, this is Kenny Tyon.

Yeah, Loggins is there.

Because my new show is called

Highway to the David Zone.

Highway to the David Zone.

And he sings a line in

Tina Turner World.

Tina Turner there.

Tina Turner is there now.

There we go.

We've got it.

The rest of this podcast will be you guessing all 47 participants.

Aswad.

A prince.

Aswad did not claim.

I think I'm stuck.

Aswad.

I'm stuck in traffic.

Erasure, Brother Beyond.

Roland Rat.

Yeah.

And Stack of Bow.

Yes, okay.

Oh, Stackabo.

Yeah.

gonna move, move, move to the new citation.

Here we go again.

What is your brain?

How do you not

know

so many things?

And yet, Stack of Bow.

Stack of Bo right there.

Yeah, well, they're just there.

I can't help it.

They're there to stay.

I'm going to go and listen to Stack of O straight after this

recording.

Not right now, listeners.

Not right now.

Stay with this.

Geldof, in fairness, has all of the pop stars of the world there.

And Quincy says this was Bob's idea, or Bob did the original one of these.

And Bob does a really good speech where he's like, he says, I've just come back from Ethiopia.

And

he has a good line.

He says to all of these, the richest musicians in the world, it's difficult to conceive, for you to conceive of nothing, but these people have nothing.

And, but he says the killer line, he goes, the price of a life

this year is a seven-inch disc with a hole in the middle with this song playing on it.

So please think of that while you're recording this.

And maybe that will motivate you because it is, whereas nowadays, something like this could all be done remotely.

Like, look at us, Max.

We're not both talking into the same mic.

Then you need everyone there.

And also, even the way they record it is if Huey Lewis messes up, you've got to go right back to the start to Lionel Ritchie.

There comes a time.

So he's done, There Comes a Time.

Oh, you'd hate to be on late time.

You'd hate to be on late going, don't fuck it up, don't fuck it up.

Yeah, exactly.

Surely they can edit the tracks in.

Surely they can just

take.

No.

From this, yes, you would imagine you can probably do a little bit of that, but from the way we're looking at it, all of the biggest pop stars are all around in a circle at different mics.

And they don't even have enough mics such that when

Diana Ross has to step back so that the guy from Foreigner or someone can lean in there.

Anyway, I found that, I mean, ultimately, I know there are many criticisms of just throwing loads of money at this ambiguous thing called Africa and whether the whole thing wasn't slightly patronizing to begin with.

But the documentary is absolutely fascinating because it's kind of more about the egos of all of these people

all being together.

That was it then.

I left, I slid a good luck card under the helicopter's door.

Oh, that's too much.

Really?

Really?

No.

Well, not too much.

No, I mean, I mean, I'm no, it's not too much.

It's just lovely.

I meant like, that's lovely, is what I meant.

I have some lovely gestures.

Okay, fine.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And

then

went to sleep in the basement on my own.

And that was my yesterday.

It's a good day.

It's a good day.

The focus of the day is on, I hope the helicopter gets the exam.

I hope my brother gets the gig.

I hope the moss doesn't return to my dad's car.

They are my hopes from the day.

No, all in all, I felt like spring has sprung.

And you come across, and I don't believe it's for show, as a good person, David.

A good brother, a good son, a good partner.

But...

You're about to say, but.

But I filmed you all day, and I know all you did was sat in the spare room masturbating prophetically.

Yeah, exactly.

Out the window.

And you head-butted an old woman and you forgot those bits.

Hey, listen, if you'd like to get in touch with the podcast, and we really rely on your correspondence, this is how you do it.

To get in touch with the show, you can email us at whatdidydo yesterdaypod at gmail.com.

Follow us on Instagram at yesterdaypod.

And please subscribe and leave a review if you liked it on your preferred podcast platform.

And if you didn't, please don't.

Thank you, David.

I had a lovely time.

I had such a nice time.

I look forward to doing it again very soon.

To the listeners, have a good today.

And remember, today is tomorrow's yesterday.

Everything is Showbiz.

Mike and Alyssa are always trying to outdo each other.

When Alyssa got a small water bottle, Mike showed up with a four-litre jug.

When Mike started gardening, Alyssa started beekeeping.

Oh, come on.

They called it truce for their holiday and used Expedia Trip Planner to collaborate on all the details of their trip.

Once there, Mike still did more laps around the pool.

Whatever.

You were made to outdo your holidays.

We were made to help organize the competition.

Expedia, made to travel.

Hello, Max Rushton here.

You might remember me from Series 9, Episode 2 of Parenting Hell.

I'm here to tell you about Dog by the Bakery Door, the debut children's book by author Jamie Bruce.

Dog by the Bakery Door is a charming story of the magical things a little boy sees on a normal trip to get a coffee with his mum.

Perfect for newborns, three-year-olds, six-year-olds, all children.

Just Google Dog by the Bakery Door.

Here's a review from my three-year-old son.

Dog by the Bakery Door.

I have this book.

Full disclosure, the author might be his mother mother and my wife, but even more reason to buy it.

She is to live with us and a baby 24/7, has sacrificed her career for mine while also being an amazing mum to two boys.

Thank you, goodbye.