WDWDY #36: I had such an exciting yesterday...

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Podcasts, there are millions of them.

Some might say, too many.

I have one already.

I don't have any, because there are enough.

Politics, business, sport, you name it.

There's a podcast about it, and they all ask the big questions and cover the hot topics of the day.

But nobody is covering the most important topic of all.

Why is that?

Are they scared?

Too afraid of being censored by the man?

Possibly, but not us.

We're here to ask the only question that matters.

We'll try and say it at the same time, Max.

What did you do yesterday?

What did you do yesterday?

What did you do yesterday?

That's it.

All we're interested in is what the guests got up to yesterday, nothing more.

Day before yesterday, Max?

Nope.

The greatest and most interesting day of your life.

Unless it was yesterday, we don't want to know about it.

I'm Max Rushton.

And I'm David O'Doherty.

Welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday?

Hello and welcome to Midweek Mayhem from the people that bring you What Did You Do Yesterday.

My name is Max Rushton and David O'Doherty is there.

Hi, David.

Bonjour, monomie.

I'm on my holidays, Max.

Yeah, to a enva conce.

Yeah, that distant sound of accordions may tell you where we are.

The sound of a waterfall of cheese just coming off a cliff.

It's absolutely beautiful here.

Jenny says, Can we rename Midweek Mayhem to, oh God, not this again?

As that's what David says at various points during each of Max's yesterdays.

Stop.

When do I say, not this again?

Is it when you go for your fourth nap walk of the day?

Surely not.

I feel I'm very tolerant of your endlessly repetitive days.

Tolerant, I see.

Not supportive.

I was definitely thinking supportive was coming, but no.

The killer is where it's your yesterday, and I've just been like skydiving or something the day before.

And you've been, you know, trying to fix a skybox for six hours.

Sorry.

This is from Hansie.

This is lovely.

Dear Max, David, and Marsba.

During the COVID years, my partner Laura, a What Did You Do Yesterday Ultra, and I lived on the outskirts of Dublin City next to the Phoenix Park.

On our walks through the park, we would often spot comedian David O'Doherty cycling around.

In the Phoenix Park, there's a hill overlooking a beautiful glade and an old military fort.

The hill is covered in old trees, but in late afternoon, the sun still shines on it, making it a truly idyllic spot.

Getting to the top of the hill involves a steep climb, but the view and tranquility make the effort worthwhile.

We would regularly from afar see David on top of this hill alone and seemingly at peace with the world.

We saw him there so often in fact that we began referring to it between ourselves as O'Doherty's Hill.

I always imagined he was up there concocting some killer jokes for his next show or possibly a new concept for a children's book.

I now know that it is probably likely that David had chosen one of the most secluded spots in the city of Dublin to relieve himself of whatever gassy food he'd had for lunch and let rip such toxic farts that they were unsuitable for public toilets.

Love the pod.

I know exactly what that person's referring to.

I cycled to the same tree pretty much every day for a year and a half in the Phoenix Park.

And the reason I liked it was because, so it's this giant park in the center of Dublin.

You couldn't see any modernity.

You could see some church steeples from the 18th century.

So I would imagine I had time travelled there and let off a few sweet farts also do you want a spontaneous quiz

because this didn't happen yesterday so breaking our own rules go on i've had three really good celeb spots since i've been in oh yeah yeah yeah one alumnus james acaster no oh no hang on yeah no i am 2-1 down now i've got one i've pulled one back against jamie and james acaster watch i was at the mini golf and ian was throwing golf balls around so i didn't have time to get him over and say look hi you don't know me, but you did Google me once.

So I let him be.

Okay, I mean, I don't know how long you want the quiz, because, you know, some people think my quiz is, I don't give enough clues.

You don't understand what quizzes are.

No, I don't.

I feel like maybe I shouldn't have brought it up this early in an episode since I'm not going to reveal the answer.

No, should I tell you?

Should I tell you?

Let me guess who the aluminus is.

Go right back to the beginning.

Alice James.

No.

Okay, go almost right back to the beginning.

Lou Sanders.

Correct.

Wow.

I was doing the afternoon channel on Talk Sport and she was doing the afternoon channel on Virgin Radio.

And we walked in.

I was like, oh, hi, Lou Sanders.

You don't know me, but we did a podcast once.

She was like, oh, yeah, we've met.

Then we got the lift 17 floors.

Great.

And then her show ended at the same time as my show ended.

So we got the lift 17 floors down.

And I said, I said, oh, you've got your house in Margate.

She's like, well, how the fuck do you know that?

I was like, because John Robbins told us.

Oh, yeah.

Lou Sanders on Talksport would be.

They would really run out.

If you you hadn't said her on another station there.

I think I would have tuned in for what she thinks about Reuben Amaram's future with Manchester United.

Now, I also, you know, I should have mentioned this two weeks ago.

Just when we arrived, I cycled past the man who is

40% better looking than me with 30% better personality.

Who, the guy with the very, very long name who goes on this morning and talks about consumerism?

No, no, not Dr.

Alexander Tugentock.

Dem O'Leary.

oh yeah and he was filming something and he did look good to be fair and like i don't really know him but we've met so i

i he was cycling past so i whipped off my cycle hat as i cycle along and i went derma it's max rushton

He did look interested.

He was like, oh, and then I just carried on.

I didn't stop because he looked busy.

It looked like he was, do you know, it looked like he was filming the postcode lottery?

I mean, I don't think he was, but it had that vibe.

Oh, right.

Suburban street.

He's about to knock on someone's door.

I think he's too good for that.

An interesting phenomenon with, because when you film stuff on the street, one of the most annoying things is people cycling by going, oi, oi.

And they normally shout, like, going to win an Oscar or something like that.

Yet, whenever I cycle past people filming a thing,

I immediately just want to shout, you know, up yours.

No, I announced who I was full name because I thought, Dermot, he's a busy guy, we've not seen each other for 10 years.

He doesn't know that actually, we're the same person, he's just like a percentage better at everything than me.

He doesn't know that reality because I was gonna, I was gonna ask him to be on this, Max.

Yeah, well, no, I'd love him to be on.

I know, but be good.

Seems like you've got such a inferiority complex, you'd fall to pieces.

You'd be like, what time do you get up at?

Oh, that's such a stupid question.

Why do I always ask people people that?

Oh, Dermot, I'm so sorry.

Do you like things?

My voice would break during the O'Leary episode.

I'd be like, I'd just be a quivering wreck.

The other one, the other day, I recorded Sounds of the 90s with Fern Cotton, mainly because I mention it on this podcast all the time.

I'd be like, okay, you might as well come on.

Wow.

I was at broadcasting house at the BBC.

Bob Mortimer walked past very slowly.

And I thought, oh, I should ask Bob on this pod.

But I just didn't.

Yeah.

Was that the right thing to do?

Because I think he liked the concept.

I think he'd be probably the best guest we ever had.

Yeah.

Could you imagine how many crappy podcasts are currently trying to get Bob on the

entire life is going, all right, man, give me agent to shout there because I don't have a phone or whatever, you know?

I'd say that would be the vibe from Bob.

Yeah, I think so.

But I have to say, this isn't as crap as you think it is, even though I'm just a man sitting outside unlocking my bike.

Like, it's actually good.

Trust me.

Trust me, Bob.

Just go with me on this, Bob.

Jim writes, another one for the What Did You Do Yesterday?

Center of Everything File.

I paused listening to today's midweek mayhem while I ordered a coffee in Pret.

Strong espresso no mucking about.

Nearby, another customer was trying to explain his order to the perplexed barista.

My goodness.

It began as two strong coffees in a big cup with a side of cold water.

Then he said, don't worry about the cold.

He'd do his own.

The barista was still confused, so the customer broke it down further.

Four shots, half hot water, half cold water.

What?

I don't know if he got the right order.

I had to go, but it elicited two thoughts in my head.

Pretty coffee is pretty strong.

So I imagine the customer was trying to clean himself out.

Omit Jalili's still out.

Ahmit has no idea what he has become in this podcast.

And I never noticed such precise coffee orders until I started listening to the pod.

Everything he showed is in it for life.

Self-jaliliing there without the whatever the name of that mythical tea is that we have mentioned so many times.

Like, it's possible we've mentioned it as many times as Lou Le Monde, winner of the 1989 tour de France, that could be another sponsor.

Except some Mary Beard feedback.

This is Adam, as a big fan of Mary Beard's work.

I must admit, I spat my coffee out when I saw she was coming on the pod.

People were surprised, David.

I was in eager expectation to hear what nuggets of history would be discussed.

Of all the famous and influential names from history, I was amazed that the name that was mentioned the most was john beck

keep it up in it for life adam

who's john beck john who's john beck how dare you john beck was the cambridge united manager of the early 90s that played long ball football that got us from the fourth division to the cusp of the premier league and the quarterfinal of the fa cup two years running with the on dublin up front mary and i bonded on that as we bonded on many historical things

and he says after listening to your episode with mary beard on the way to Heathrow to pick someone up, I made my way to Terminal 5 Arrivals to meet them.

Who should come through the arrivals doors and walk towards me, but Mary Beard and her husband?

What are the chances?

It freaked me out.

Is this some kind of weird coincidence or something else?

Hmm, emoji.

Keep up the good work chats, my favourite pod.

You know, they go to a beta every weekend during the summer, so it's not that surprising.

Well, she has a residency, she does

manual mission.

She always begins with you, sure, do by strike.

Then set you free by entrance.

She plays a little bit of a David Starkey audiobook, and everyone booze.

And then

she plays Make You Feel Good by Hammer.

Some more Merry Beard feedback from Paul.

Another fantastic episode.

Thanks.

I only feel more could have been made of the way the wet finger anecdote landed as badly as any anecdote has landed on any podcast.

Keep up the great work.

Is that you, when you said there was a dude in pompeii who was masturbating when the volcano hit no i think that was how me and sam campbell went to a neolithic tomb and when the guy made it dark i wet-willied him and mary beard didn't need to hear that

Do you know when you're searching your brain for anything to do with the classical world

and the closest thing you can come up with is wet-willying a comedian in a passage tomb.

Sorry, Barry.

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I just had one thought on the Sarah Pasco episode.

Now, for the tape, we're recording this before the Pasco episode goes out, hence not a lot of Sarah Pasco feedback.

We didn't drill down on the fact that for breakfast, she just had on its own one vegetarian sausage.

And I just felt, I felt there was mileage that we just didn't drill down on how that's served, how do you prepare that?

It was a regret I have of mine.

Yeah, eating it straight out of the pan.

She just stabs it with a fork, pops it straight in.

Just needs something, doesn't it?

A sausage on it.

It just needs, it needed a bun, needed something alongside it, I thought.

Jabe says, just got up on this.

Despite finding it hugely entertaining, I'm still none the wiser as to what Ross Noble did yesterday.

Aside from put Radox up his bum and eat chicken legs.

We have recorded a few episodes that haven't gone out.

One of our exciting future guests once phoned up Ross Noble

and said hello, and an hour later realized he hadn't spoken.

So it's not just in podcast form where Ross can really ride the riff train.

Should we do that?

Just normal countries.

Sorry, I'm still thinking of Waylon Jennings so much.

I know, it's so good.

When I do something stupid, even on my holidays here, it's like, well, looks like David

didn't pack any suntan block.

And now he's gonna have to buy, I'd say, his sixth bottle of the last two years.

So let's play there.

Just normal countries, everybody.

Welcome.

I am the one and only.

What country could I be?

I am the one and only.

Where in the world could our listeners be?

Okay, so previous guesses so far uh madagascar namibia costa rica uganda north korea guyana northern marianas islands bhutan brunei nepal eswatini uS virgin islands equatorial guinea sanmarino correct lichtenstein at this rate we'll be finished in no time david i just need to climb into the rules here and that's the rule maker upper so eric from cork was the one who guessed San Marino, which was correct.

He then stayed on the table

with Lichtenstein.

Eric is now thrown off the table and it's back open to all other members of the world.

Yeah, there was a TV show I used to watch called, I think it was called The Adventure Game.

It was a quiz show on TV where at the end of it, there was like a diamond lattice ball and you were playing against a pot plant that growled.

And then this was commissioned, which is sad when I think of all the ideas I've pitched that haven't been commissioned.

Anyway,

When you were caught by the pot plant, right?

Because you couldn't see where he was moving.

You had to kind of anticipate.

You were CGI'd.

Well, it probably wasn't CGI, was it?

You were like zoomed off the screen and just sort of into the ether.

And I actually, as a young boy, thought that was the end of your life.

Yes.

I thought you died.

Yes, Max.

Like, I don't remember anything else from that show except the lattice, sort of really early green-blue screening, where you were almost strobing against a background.

And yes, i thought grown-ups because it would have been grown-ups on it or maybe older teens yeah we're simply gladiator style just killed for the pleasure of people who happen to be watching at 5 30 on a tuesday yeah and that's what we do with the incorrect guesses of they're just normal countries so eric in cork is dead here we go this is from ben brave to enter now these rules have come in love the pod i was listening to the start of the ross noble episode while in bed recovering from pleurisy this turned out to be a terrible error as I lay in bed crying with laughter and wincing in pain as each belly laugh was met by searing pain in my bag as my inflamed lung pressed and rubbed against my back.

Wow.

It was both welcome light relief and audio torture all in one.

We'll put that on the poster.

We've got 100 tickets to sell for the live show.

Come on, we need 100 more of you to fill it out.

The Hackney Empire.

Go to HackneyEmpire.co.uk.

And you too can have Welcome Light Relief and Audio Torture all in one.

A more sensible listener may have stopped listening, but I'm in it's alive, so I powered through.

And also, that was a long episode, Ben.

Like, you know, there are other ones where you'd have got relief earlier, but you know, you pick the Ross episode.

Anyway, my guest for the catchily abbreviated WITWCOLB is Turkmenistan.

Cheers, and thanks for the much-needed entertainment.

Everything is showbiz.

Over to Mars Bar, Turkmenistan.

Don't tell me me 58,000 listens in Turkmenistan.

I'd say no.

Zero listens in Turkmenistan.

Zero!

What are we doing wrong?

Why are the Turkmenics not into this?

I think that could all change with Mary Beard.

She is huge in Turkmenistan.

They get the episodes a few weeks later than everywhere else.

And yeah, we're going to go straight to the top of the charts then.

She's the gateway to Turkmenistan.

Okay, so the board is still open and Ben is dead.

There we go.

Do you have any questions for me, David?

I have one question for you.

Yeah, what is it?

Max Rushton, what did you do yesterday?

Okay, let's begin, everyone, at 5.41 a.m.

Yes.

Okay, it's not a disaster.

You know, like expectations change.

It is a disaster because the night hasn't been good.

Anyway, I'm in Ian's bed with Ian.

Jamie calls for a swap deal.

The transfer window's open.

The offer is an awake Willie Rushton for a sleeping Ian Rushton, and it is non-negotiable.

So I take the trade.

She's been tapped up or you've been tapped up or whatever.

I just know somebody's doing a tapping up.

Fabrizio Romano sent a tweet saying, here we go.

I'm off to Willie's room.

Well, he's in our room and he's awake.

So I'm a bit sad about it, but it's probably right because I've been asleep with Ian for an hour or so.

And I think Willie's been up for an hour.

Fine.

So there's 20 minutes of me sort of...

Sort of trying to engage with Willie while being horizontal with my eyes closed.

So sort of putting my hand above his face so he hits my hand a bit.

I think this is a gentle way to wake a baby up.

You know, I probably should be singing him lullabies and, you know, reading him very simple books, but I'm just doing the hover hand.

eyes closed.

I'm going to do that till six.

Is peekaboo happening yet?

Or are we too early for classic peekaboo?

I'm too tired for peekaboo.

I'm too tired for peekaboo at this stage.

But yeah, we're, you know, we're entering into, I would say, the peekaboo months.

We're pretty close.

I'd say, you know, 15 minutes of of that.

And then he gets a bit annoyed.

So I have to like pick him up and hold him.

And then I think, well, maybe this is incidental fitness.

I can do some sort of little bench presses with him.

Sort of sing him.

Zoom, zoom, zoom.

We're going to the moon a few times.

So he's pretty happy about this.

Ian wakes at six.

So Ian and Jamie come in to the room.

There's some lying about.

Ian wants to hug Willie Rushton, but he can be a bit...

you know, he's not always totally focused on not like crushing his brother.

So there's a bit of just watch out, that kind of stuff.

We go downstairs.

Jemmy makes toast for Ian says, do ants and toast.

There's only the ends.

So all that's left are the two crusts.

Oh, interesting.

The heel, we call that in Ireland.

The heel.

And they're quite thick.

It could be any width, the crust, couldn't they?

It could be a tiny, slender bit, just depending on how the slicer, how the hovis has reacted as it's approached the slicer.

These are two doorstep-sized pieces of toast.

You would think that bread making generally, with famously the slicing of bread being such a good idea really good idea that they would have sussed that by now but it still does seem a fairly i guess you don't know exactly what size the yeast in the bread is going to expand to that's true it's okay but they're big and they just but they just get in the toaster interruption

do the littles

in Britain have a section where you can put into

a steel box an unsliced loaf of bread, shut the door and press a button, and a blade just genuinely slices it.

Oh, I don't know.

I'm familiar with this.

I've had bread sliced before me in front of my eyes

by a baker.

It is quite exciting.

Yeah.

Well, the little one just makes me, I did have a nightmare about it once where it was a Bond type situation, and the baddie had placed me into it.

And was

when the baddie placed you in, did they say thick or thin?

continue with the day I hope there's a dance party now so toast comes up and then I think do you know what I can slice the ends off the toast and get two normal bits of toast here yeah so I do that so the toast is perfect size but now one side is toasted and one is not really toasted so then I think what I can do is if I to the listener to the listener I had such an exciting yesterday and I am sitting here listening to this

I did quite a lot of my day but you know I've thought about this this.

So then I try and turn the toast around so the toasted bits are in the middle.

Then I think if I can get that in one bit of the toaster, I can then toast the outsides.

And then I've got perfect toast, but it doesn't quite fit down.

I end up having a sort of slightly disappointing toast and peanut butter breakfast, but it's okay.

Yeah.

I'm doing the Football Weekly script.

Grimsby have knocked out Man United on penalties.

Wow.

Rangers and Celtic in crisis.

It's a good, it's going to be good.

I'm looking forward to it.

And I was up very late last night because they wouldn't stop scoring these bloody penalties.

It's so annoying because I just really really wanted to go to sleep.

Not relevant, but how long did it go on?

Yeah, because it went to like 26 penalties or something.

The same guys took penalties twice because they'd run out of players.

It was like a 20-minute shootout.

And how late were you up then?

I was probably half 10.

Wow.

Okay, I see why you're so tired now.

Now, Ian has moved on from just in time.

He still likes it, but he now wants to watch YouTube videos of the London Underground.

The War of the Worlds.

Or The World at War.

What's the one that's Lawrence

and then in Stalingrad?

He just wants to watch the Bakerloo line or the Victoria line.

What?

What is this?

This is just people have just filmed the tube, right?

And if you remember, we've still in a situation where we can't watch the TV, we're watching it on a projector.

It's basically life-size tube trains just coming into the living room and leaving.

But something strange has happened that whenever the train is going into the tunnel, he wants me to be watching.

And if I'm not watching, he gets like very upset.

And it's quite difficult because I'm trying to work, but also trying to engage with Ian, who just says, You're gonna miss the, he thinks the back is the front of the train.

He's saying, You're gonna miss the front of the train,

and then he's like, Look, it's the Baker Loo line.

And it's tricky because I can see it's the central line, but arguably, it doesn't matter.

But there's a little part of me going, actually, I think that's red, that's the central line.

Anyway, Jamie and Willie have gone on their way to a cafe, and we're going to catch them up.

And I've said to Ian, we'll watch 20 trains.

But actually,

because sometimes they're really quick edits, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, but this one, they wait, the train comes into the station,

so we are there for quite a long time.

Yeah.

But it's interesting because once you click on this, then the other options you get are like

full-length flight to Corfu.

Who's watching that?

Fortunately, he hasn't asked for that one yet.

I can't watch a four-hour flight to Corfu.

You know, the thing is, when you watch it, you don't even now end up in Corfu.

You're still at home.

Daddy, can we please watch four-hour flight to Corfu?

No, son, we'll watch three-hour flight to Cass and then we're straight to bed.

As long as he doesn't say, can we watch Economy to Singapore, please?

We're just like, oh, mate.

I get on my one bike with Ian.

We cycle to Popham's.

I have a long black.

I leave Jamie with the kids.

I cycle home.

I record Football Weekly with Jonathan Wilson, Mark Langdon, Ewan Murray, our Scottish football correspondent, and Robin Cowan, who loves this podcast.

Hello, Robin.

She messaged me the other day to say, I dreamt a cafe was selling three-quarter flat whites.

It was written on their board, you are living rent-free, she said.

To the listeners, have never been asked on this podcast.

I really feel I could contribute.

Although I don't watch many of the games themselves, I feel I'd be a useful person to, I could sort of bullshit a bit and then ask really pertinent questions or just agree with people when they say sensible things.

Thank you.

I'd love to get you on the panel.

That would be great.

I take that back.

I'd never want to be on that.

The only alumnus so far is Ellis James.

Ellis James.

Ellis has been on a bit and he does, he always does whales for us.

Yes.

He'll often record a voice note for you after a whales match, always in a hoarse voice.

He's from Montenegro.

Yes, he is in Montenegro.

I finished that at 9.35.

10 minutes of running around the house putting laundry on in the dishwasher.

Very tempted to send John Robbins a picture of the washing machine.

Not to crow, but to say, this might answer, this might be the washing machine you need.

It's a Bosch Seri 6, like Seri A Seri 6, because you can

pretty much do any setting and temperature you like.

This is what he wanted.

You can go 20 degrees, 600 spin, you can go 60 degrees, 1400 spin.

You can select it.

I think that might be the one I have.

Is it part of the Vario series?

I think that it's got that written.

It's a washer dryer, this.

It can also dry.

No, I don't like that.

I don't like that at all.

No, no.

There's only one place where history, culture, and adventure meet on the National Mall.

Where museum days turn to electric lights.

Where riverside sunrises glow and monuments shine in moonlight.

Where there's something new for everyone to discover.

There's only one DC.

Visit Washington.org to plan your trip.

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Honey bunches of votes is the forma perfecto dependency familia.

Cono juelas cruzientes y mi el verad qual los niños les encantas.

Ademas delicios os trosos de granola nuesces y fruta que todos vanadis frutad.

Honey bunches de votes para todos.

Tocal bener para sabermás.

Anyway, I now think of John Robbins when I look at my washing machine.

9:45.

It's time for another podcast.

It's the excellent What Did You Yesterday.

I'm recording with you and with Alan Davies.

Oh, Oh, yeah.

Fun episode.

My Wi-Fi is a little temperamental, but it's okay.

Yeah, there were a few times where it froze on the little tiny screen with Max, but nearly always with you really enjoying it.

And me and Alan Davies would stare at you for slightly too long, believing you were just reveling whatever funny thing we had just said before realizing that your crap Wi-Fi had stopped working.

Anyway, I look forward to you all listening to the Alan Davis episode.

So we start that at 10.

10-ish, 10.26.

What's that from Jamie?

I'd love you to experience my life.

This is what I'm feeling while we're doing the podcast.

I'd love you to experience my life.

Sounds like a track that Mary Beard plays in Mad Humission.

I would love you to experience her.

Put your hands in the air, says Mary Beard.

Her collab with David Getter, when they're both there, just going,

she says, I'd love you to experience my life on these solo days.

It's insane.

It's quite a good poem, actually.

Just like

10.40.

When are you done?

11.16.

Hello.

Bracket, bracket, bracket.

Question mark.

Bracket, bracket, bracket, bracket, bracket.

I don't know what's happened there.

She's having a meltdown.

Are you done soon?

Can you be here soon?

This is 11.16.

I feel so bad.

We were having a nice time.

It's a job, isn't it?

It's my job.

But the only answer is kind of at the end of Games Master to bring back another obscure old Patrick Moore was Gamesmaster.

And at the end, information would come up.

I think there was probably cheats to various Commodore 64 games.

And Patrick Moore would advise you to video it if you had a video player and then watch it back on pause.

Remember that.

So each screen was just another piece of information.

And similarly, I think the only way we're going to be able to do this going forward is we cram in so much good stuff that Marsbar has to half it in speed.

So we don't need to record for a half.

Ah, I see.

So then, yeah, yeah, that way we won't take up as much time.

It's all right.

By the end of the day, we always say we're just in, we're in the trenches.

You know, we agree we're in the trenches.

11.19, I reply.

I reckon I'll be half an hour.

11.20.

Are you serious?

Oh, shit.

11.46, we're done.

I said, coming on my bike.

11.48, no bike.

Well, I'm already out on my bike, so then I cycle back.

I find Jamie walking through London fields we're reunited and we're happy again happy okay good yeah yeah we're happy it's all okay I come home she has some peanut butter that it saves that's her therapy she's sitting on the sofa eating peanut butter with a spoon that's her happy place

I take Willie in the pram we go to the bike shop we see a lovely woman called Janine who picks Willie up and is excited to hold a baby she hasn't held a baby for a while I said look can I we're going on holiday for a week next week.

We've got to clear out this flat because someone else is coming in.

That is annoying.

You know, there's there's a lot of just lentils and rice sure around so like it's going to be a tough old cleanup job but i need to leave my bike somewhere janine's going to take the bike that's great news you can't do that you can't just go to a bike shop and be can you mind my it's not like uh the tortoise hotel that stevie martin just left the tortoise in where the woman advised to use a vibrator on the wrong side of the i said i'll check you a few quid she said just get us some coffee i said i'll get you some coffee

they've got space they sort of got space okay do you think it was rude of me to request this?

No, not if you have a relationship with the person.

Well, do I have a relationship with Janine?

She had put a thicker tire on my bike, and when I'd explained who I was, and that I'd not, you know, I'm Max from what he did yesterday, just I'm the guy you put a tire on, he lives in Australia.

She was like, Oh, yeah, I remember because there's a lot of passing trade in a bike shop.

Yeah, she went, Okay, you just will lock it there, give me the key, I'll be fine.

I was like, Okay, great, beautiful.

I get a loaf of bread from E5 Bake House.

Instruction, yes, I love the smell of bike shops.

It's a sort of smell of rubber tires, maybe mixed with certain lubes.

And there's a really specific aroma that brings me great peace.

I think

the nicest people in the world are bike in bike shops and framers.

Oh, yeah.

Even though framers are...

prohibitively expensive.

Whenever you get something framed, you're like, what?

Yeah.

£300 for an A4?

Are you serious anyway i get a loaf of bread i get a cortado from popham's it's good good i'm happy with that i get home i put willie down in the cot he falls asleep i lie on the bed doing a bit of work on my phone great 10 minutes later he wakes up jamie comes in we're trying to get him to sleep in the cot not on us but he falls asleep on jamie she's up there she's out of action i go downstairs i don't notice that her phone is downstairs so she's basically alone but she's fine she falls asleep ian is now on the estate where we're staying there's like an estate and there's two bigger boys a seven year old and a 10 year old on bikes and ian wants to get his bike and they're cycling around the estate it's very exciting he is in his element he can't keep up with them it's so sweet and they're really lovely and they're doing this for about two minutes and then the seven-year-old goes way way too fast around a corner and goes over the handlebars and lands in a heap and i look around and i'm i'm the responsible adult oh no now i'm like oh i hope he's alive and he's lying on the floor and he's been quite quiet, but I don't think he's broken anything.

And I'm like, stay still.

I've watched casualty.

I'm like, stay still.

Where does it hurt?

Part of me is like, where's his guardian?

Yeah.

Whatever.

Where's the person?

Anyway, I'm like, you know, is there anyone around?

He's like, no, whatever.

I'm okay.

Tras Barz, he's broken his leg about three months ago.

Oh, my God.

But he looks all right.

Like I just sort of said, oh, yeah, if I has a few grazes, he's all right.

Dad's done palms.

I remember crashing on my BMX.

palms would be the worst thing and then oh yeah rip the trousers though well he's in shorts so like knees are ripped palms are ripped oh but you know it's fine he's seven that you know you're like terminator when you're seven it'll all clear up it'll go

he'll be better then he says can you untie knots i'm like

i can because it's not like a selling point that's not something i talk about and then he points at his shoes and he says could you do these and he has got so many knots in his shoes it's insane but i've agreed to it and he's just fall off his bike

i'd say i spend 20 20 minutes

unlacing while Ian is just peddling around the estate.

I am untying these tiny knots in the laces of this guy who I've never, I think he was, I met him last year in the same because we stayed in the same place thinking, why am I, what's happening?

What's happening here?

This is bonkers.

I'd say a lot of our listeners are just like, you see, in London, a seven is regarded as an adult.

So you're just, he just, he was on his way home from work.

Wow.

So anyway, I untie his laces and then he says, I can tie my own laces.

And I go, great.

So then he ties his laces and he puts loads of knots back in.

But like, that's his problem now.

I can't be doing that.

So they do some cycling.

They do some cycling.

So we're waiting for some friends of mine to arrive who can't be named.

Do you feel Ian Rushton has got rid of his Aussie accent since he's back?

Like nothing will straighten out an Aussie accent like hanging with the tough kids on the estate.

Because the last time I heard Ian Rushton was when he was plonked on your knee during a podcast and he was like oh street mate and he still says toilet toilet

I don't know I don't really notice yeah I think it's sort of not as Australian as the other kids at kinder yeah but I think it's more Australian than the estate kids of Hattie yeah well soon he'll be sounding like stormsy no I think so so look we're waiting for some friends of mine who cannot be named oh wow that's exciting well they just don't want to to be named.

They arrive.

It's lovely to see them.

They haven't seen kids for a year.

We walked to somewhere called Dreamy Cafe, Dreamy with an Eye.

And that is a cafe that's also a soft play.

So it's really good because Ian is, you know, playing with lots of things, but it's quite echoey and there's a lot of kids in there.

So it's quite bangy.

But like, you know, it's fun.

It's fun.

I have a double espresso with hot milk on the side.

Because Jamie wants that, so I think that's a good order.

So we'd make our own.

It's like make your own cortado.

It's fun.

Yours is slightly wrong, and you just hurl it into the ball pool.

I hurl it into my own face because I've made it.

I complain to myself and then I give myself a one-star review.

We walk home.

Ian needs a bath because he hasn't had a bath for two days or something.

So we say, our friends really want to see the bath.

They're really excited.

So Ian's excited that they're excited to see the bath.

That gets him in the bath.

That's good.

Ian has plain couscous for dinner.

Wow.

Then it's my turn to do it.

That's boring.

That is boring.

That's what you toast.

He laps it up.

Remember, he's, you know, one of his favorite is plain oats.

So, like, Couscous, at least, has had hot water put on it.

It's, you know, like, yeah.

So, you know, sometimes we talk about the fact he, you know, like he will not even look at a vegetable, but he's three and a half and that's fine.

It's tough, right?

He'll get there.

And if he doesn't, he'll just be a Cousin's guy.

I'm going to do his bedtime.

So I read him a story, get him into bed, and then he says, I'm getting out of bed.

And then we have a sort of race in the dark to get to the door because if he gets to the door, he's getting out.

Then I stand by the door and then he starts jumping around the room in the dark.

He's gonna hurt himself and then Jamie comes in.

This seven-year-old mate from the estate calls in.

Does Ian want to come out?

We're going

hair coursing.

We're going dog fighting.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, throwing stones at the window.

And anyway, so Jamie comes in the room to rescue the situation and Ian is spinning around on this chair that I'm currently sitting on to do the podcast.

So then Jamie says, it's all right, I'll do it.

Jamie gets him down.

We're both downstairs.

I'm going out, David.

Oh, my goodness.

Wow.

How soon are the texts going to start?

I need you now.

I cannot believe this is happening.

Let me check.

No,

I can get to that.

So I'm meeting Nick, my friend Nick, I've known since I was four.

And Ian, another friend of ours, we sort of got to know when we were about 20, I guess, 18, 19.

And we have a beer around King's Cross in one place.

And then we go for

pints.

Lats.

Lads.

Then we go to a pub, which is weirdly empty considering how busy everyone is.

And we realize it's one of those slightly dodgy pubs, but I have a nice pint in there.

So I'm happy.

I've seen quite a nice street food place that had a queue.

So I was like, oh, this must be good.

So we get there.

And then there's going to be space in 10 minutes.

We're like, oh, this is good.

So it's like Malaysian and Indian food.

And then there's no booze, but you can if you pay £10 corkage.

We're like, well, we do want a beer.

So Ian goes out and gets three large bottles of Beretti.

And Nick and I say, well, we'll just let them choose for us.

We'll say, look, just what's nice?

The waiter arrives and she says, oh, look, well, do you want Malaysian?

And Nick says, yes.

And I say, no, I think we want Indian.

And then it's like, we haven't agreed.

And then I was, I don't know why I was quite forceful at wanting Indian over Malaysian because I was happy with either.

So I end up sort of deciding that we all have a curry.

But surely you can all just travel to different countries with your palates.

I don't know what happened to me.

After we ordered, Ian was like, you're quite forceful there.

And I was like, yeah, I was.

I was a monster.

I was a monster.

I actually apologized to them this morning at six o'clock in the in the whatsapp group we'd made yesterday for just the night for the three of us and i don't think i've had a response yet anyway we're not sure how good the restaurant was but i leave at 9 30 uh they're going for one more drink and at 12 53 a.m nick says nice small glass of wine later so i got out wow right yeah so i get out they've been out there but i get home at 10 o'clock and the only messages from jamie while i'm there are you know the weekend away that we've discussed oh with the lads lads lads again with the lads.

It comes, what did you do yesterday live, football weekly live?

Then I go away.

So actually, it's not two nights, there's four nights where I'm sort of not there for bedtime, bath, all this.

The timing is bad.

So she's like, could you just do one night?

I'm like, oh, this is tricky.

Because I think we both have quite good arguments for.

We're yet to have the discussion.

I'm having it with her now on this podcast.

Where this goes out next week.

I don't want a situation where it's me or what did you do yesterday.

i don't want that to arise

so that's the message which i see and i go i'll we'll talk about that in the morning probably we haven't got around to it yet because i'm doing this then what was terrible was and this is not relevant for the tape but last night was terrible because they all woke up all the time and i was like oh that is poor timing i needed both to sleep through to say i'll be fine two will be fine

anyway so at the moment it's contingency I could just go on the Saturday morning, but let's see, let's see how that pans out.

Anyway, 10 o'clock.

I'm in bed.

I've had a curry, so I obviously don't, you know, but whether I sleep well or not, it's not relevant for the tape.

How many sweet babs do you think you've had as you lay down?

But the Moretti was big.

Few wee's then.

You probably, you know, you probably needed to empty everything before you could lay down.

Yeah, but, you know, after a curry, it's all bad, isn't it?

You know, it's just.

Yeah, it's all bad.

Anyway, do you want to have another go at the footballer comedian quiz?

Oh, my goodness.

Yes, of course.

I want to have another.

Chloe says, Hi, DOD.

I think a good guest for the comedian in Max's insane quiz could be Tim Vine.

He has a show coming up near Teddington on September the 6th.

Wow.

So could have been postering for that.

No idea on the footballer.

And realistically, we'll never know either answer.

Good luck.

Hope Edinburgh has gone well and someone deserving

got the bike.

Let me jump in.

Hang on, there's another message.

There's another message.

Oh, yeah.

Allison.

Hi, David.

Big fan of the podcast.

And Teddington resident.

Would love to hear Max's reaction.

If these are correct, I I have reason to believe that the footballer and comedian combo could be as follows.

Jordan Henderson, post shared on Facebook of Jordan Henderson spotted at local MNS the same week that Max stayed.

Andy Parson has a show coming up at the local arts center.

Seems like the kind of guy that would put up his own posters.

So

there's some inside info, but David, what are your guesses?

I'm going to pick one of those.

I'll go with the Tim Vine and then I'll go Frank Lampard as well because I can

see him in that part of London.

Is Vine?

is vine well I can't if you don't get them both you don't get a point how about the listener can you give that a score as well incorrect oh okay well let's do it again let's do another mayhem soon and as for the tape we're doing it right now so we're gonna find out on the next mayhem the same day that I did all I was fixing the laces of a seven-year-old boy yeah what David did on this day which I think is quite an exciting experiment because then you can get the time charts and put them together.

And ladies and gentlemen, if you would like to get in touch with what did you do yesterday, this is how.

To get in touch with the show, you can email us at what did you do yesterday pod at gmail.com.

Follow us on Instagram at yesterday pod.

And please subscribe and leave a review if you liked it on your preferred podcast platform.

And if you didn't, please don't.

Thank you, David.

Thanks, listeners.

Thanks, Max.

Thanks, Marius Barr.

Let's do it again soon.

And by soon, I mean in two minutes time, where I will be telling you what I did on my very exciting yesterday.

Hello, Max Rushton here.

You might remember me from Series 9, Episode 2 of Parenting Hell.

I'm here to tell you about Dog by the Bakery Door, the debut children's book by author Jamie Bruce.

Dog by the Bakery Door is a charming story of the magical things a little boy sees on a normal trip to get a coffee with his mum.

Perfect for newborns, three-year-olds, six-year-olds, all children.

Just Google Dog by the Bakery Door.

Here's a review from my three-year-old son.

Dog by the Bakery Door.

I have this book.

Full disclosure: the author might be his mother and my wife, but even more reason to buy it.

She has to live with us and a baby 24/7 and has sacrificed her career for mine while also being an amazing mum to two boys.

Thank you, goodbye.