WDWDY #46: Everyone's a Hypocrite

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Speaker 5 Podcasts, there are millions of them. Some might say...

Speaker 5 Too many? I have one already. I don't have any, because there are enough.
Politics, business, sport, you name it.

Speaker 5 There's a podcast about it, and they all ask the big questions and cover the hot topics of the day. But nobody is covering the most important topic of all.
Why is that? Are they scared?

Speaker 5 Too afraid of being censored by the man?

Speaker 5 Possibly, but not us. We're here to ask the only question that matters.
We'll try and say it at the same time, Max. What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday?

Speaker 5 That's it. All we're interested in is what the guests got up to yesterday, nothing more.
Day before yesterday, Max? Nope. The greatest and most interesting day of your life.

Speaker 5 Unless it was yesterday, we don't want to know about it. I'm Max Rushton, and I'm David O'Doherty.
Welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday?

Speaker 5 Hello, and welcome to Midweek Mayhem. This is brought to you from the people who make What Did You Do Yesterday, the increasingly growing podcast.
It hasn't plateaued. Increasingly growing.

Speaker 5 That's David O'Doherty. Hey.

Speaker 5 no it hasn't plateaued but steadily growing i would imagine if this was a tour de france stage you wouldn't call it the mountains right you know what i mean i think that we go through periods of growth and then periods where it's just a gentle incline

Speaker 5 so you're what you're saying is to the listeners who have a choice of myriad podcasts is we're very much planning to plod along through this one is what you're saying hey john some feedback yes okay angela scanlon is a great episode episode.

Speaker 5 I really enjoyed the waxing so much. Oh, goodness.

Speaker 5 Rosie says, 10 minutes for a wax. The ultimate humble brag, says Rosie.
Mine takes one and a half hours. Don't put that on my dating profile.

Speaker 5 You see, I feel you as a professional journalist,

Speaker 5 when the waxing came up, I could see in your eyes you had a lot of questions, but you just hung back.

Speaker 5 You tried to Louie through your way through it just by creating silence in the hope that she might reveal more information about what exactly is involved in a wax whereas i was the one that brought up prit stick on a4 sheets and is that how you do it

Speaker 5 sean says in 1991 in a flat above a chemist in eastbourne i was woken by being given a leg wax trust me you don't forget But to be credit to Angela, the line of all the podcasts we've ever done during the waxing was when you said there are two and she came straight in with flaps.

Speaker 5 I absolutely was.

Speaker 5 I don't think I gave it the credit it deserved at the time. It was sensational.
I do feel if you were woken with a leg wax,

Speaker 5 and I'm not saying you were at the time either Aunt or Deck camcordered you having your chest waxed in a golf club. Yeah.

Speaker 5 I mean, there's an entire thing we just have to leave for the moment because there isn't time.

Speaker 5 But I do feel there was drink involved if you woke up with the ripping as opposed to the placing of the wax on the.

Speaker 5 It sounds like the era of, you know, and I never had, I was never sort of party to this kind of hijinks of the kind of eyebrow removal times. You know, ah, Dave's had his eyebrows shaved off.

Speaker 5 Like, it's so funny, isn't it? That at some point in your life, you go, well, I think about that. It's not a bad idea.
I think Dave will be fine with that. Now you're like, what are you doing?

Speaker 5 You know, since when old people look at you because you've got on the tram the wrong way, you think they're idiots. But when you're old, you'll be like them.
You know, we'll all be like them.

Speaker 5 I guess so. The word, I blame the word, the TV show for all of these things, Max.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I agree. This is anonymous, but it is Royal News.
You know, that does good ratings.

Speaker 5 Wow. When it's anonymous, just to be careful, it's not a former of the Royal Family.
Just to be totally clear about that. Hello, Max and D.O.D.

Speaker 5 I was listening to a recent episode of Midweek Mayhem, I think, where Max mentioned finding a fridge in the grounds when attending the football game organized in the garden of Buckingham Palace.

Speaker 5 Not only was I also there that day as part of the team of in-house butlers waiting on the players and their guests, but there is a high chance that that was my fridge you met when you wandered around the royal garden.

Speaker 5 I was living on site under the employment of Her Majesty at the time, and like most of us with first world problems, had complained about the standard of the living quarters.

Speaker 5 You might be thinking that the quality of staff accommodation at the palace was pretty high.

Speaker 5 But with taxpayers' money and all that, they were pretty shabby, crumbling plaster, smoke-stained paintwork from decades ago, and knackered old appliances throughout.

Speaker 5 I'd kicked up a bit of a polite stink to have our fridge replaced around that time and suspect that a symptom of my success in doing so was apparent by your discovery.

Speaker 5 Is this yet more evidence that what did you do yesterday is the center of the universe?

Speaker 5 Or is it more that yesterday-based entropy is inevitable and all things will tend towards your podcast over time?

Speaker 5 is this the first time that someone has expressed a shared experience with a stranger through the medium of white goods everything is showbiz

Speaker 5 great story i am surprised that you were just allowed to walk around buckingham palace to be honest it's like something an american would make up if they'd been in london for a day you know what i mean that they just wandered off from the tour into maybe a maze and what was in the center of that maze just took tea with the Queen Mother.

Speaker 5 You know, that's just. Her Majesty's smag was just sitting there.

Speaker 5 Paul writes, the shares of Lululemon might have gone through the floor since your what did you do yesterday endorsement, but the market in Max Rush and Trading Cards is going through the roof, way up on the £10 mentioned on the pod.

Speaker 5 Here we are. Nickelob cards, private seller on eBay, I believe this is.

Speaker 5 £47.42.

Speaker 5 What?

Speaker 5 Is that including postage and packaging? Because that was a large part of the value of them in the past. Yeah, yeah.
£46

Speaker 5 postage and packaging. Look at that.
It's gone up 400%

Speaker 5 or something like that.

Speaker 5 More than that. I don't know how many percent.
But this is exciting, isn't it? Yeah, it's become a sort of crypto Russian meme coin then. Yeah, I'm an NFT.
Yeah. Although it's real.

Speaker 5 I'm a tangible, non-fungible token. You're very fungible.
I've always said that about you.

Speaker 5 And now, is it possible that, you know, you do hear rumors that whatever Qatar government buy a load of Trump meme coin and then he comes to visit you.

Speaker 5 I do wonder if going forward, guests in order to get on this podcast will buy the two Max Rushton trading cards on eBay for even more money. They'll go into the millions then.

Speaker 5 Will it happen that either, you know, the bottom falls out of the Max Rushton trading cards market and, you know, the whole of Japan goes bankrupt. Is that like a possibility?

Speaker 5 Or somebody loses one of the cards. It's thrown out by their mum and it's, you know, in landfill in Gosport and it's worth like a billion pounds.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 Then it's a whole reality show trying to find the Alan and Ginter. That's the make of the cards, Max Rushton gold trading card.
But anyway, get them now. I would invent.
All I can say is invent.

Speaker 5 I don't have any. I didn't keep any.
So like, you know, they're not mine anymore. Oh, shit.
Did you not keep one even? I didn't keep one. No.
Wow. Because that's insider trading.

Speaker 5 I don't want to go to prison for this, David.

Speaker 5 I'm imagining a press conference where some Squazillionaire, lineker, let's say, buys the two that exist in the world. Okay.
And he has a big cigar.

Speaker 5 And in the press conference, someone's like, what are you going to do now, Gary? And with the cigar, he burns one of them. You know what I mean? And he's like, now there's only one and I have it.

Speaker 5 Wow. Broadcaster georgie bingham uh friend of the pot

Speaker 5 says just because i think you should know that what did you do yesterday is the center of the known universe today i drove three and a half hours from suffolk to portsmouth for some work i listened to your rosie jones episode on the way and i know reading services because my sister lives near reading so that made me chuckle but as i pulled out of the clacket lane services with a leon coffee in my hand she mentioned the leon coffee at said clackett lane services and i almost drove my car off the road this is confirmation that your podcast is now officially the center of the known universe.

Speaker 5 Of course, we all know that everything is showbiz.

Speaker 5 Yeah, apparently, there's been a spate of accidents around Reading Eastbound Services and Clackett Lane, who are just people listening to our podcast and they can't believe that we've dedicated this much time to discussing those locations.

Speaker 5 And they just veer, they drive it straight through Burger Kings.

Speaker 5 That joint dining area for the Prada Mange and the Costa, Several cars have just weeked through it there.

Speaker 5 And also, there's just a pile up of people. It's just a log jam at the airbridge at Reading Station, flocking to take photos of the skyline of Reading, aren't they?

Speaker 5 Because we publicised what was one of the hidden gems. You know, it's surprising actually that it's not.

Speaker 5 John Craven hasn't done most links on Country File from the Reading Airbridge with a view of Reading.

Speaker 5 I wonder if the BBC still do a shutdown where in the evening, you know, where they play the national anthem. Oh, yeah.
While beautiful shots of Blighty are shown.

Speaker 5 Now it's just a single locked-off GoPro of the view from the Reading Airbridge. Liam McLare, who is a singer and is the son of Brian McLare,

Speaker 5 and he makes little loops of the Football Weekly. He might make a loop of this part at some point.

Speaker 5 He's got one of those pedals that you stop and things keep stopping and you can make lots of music just by yourself.

Speaker 5 This is the most patronizing description of a legitimate modern art form that I've ever heard. Do you know the little loops where he has a little pedal now? And what does he do then?

Speaker 5 He probably has a microphone.

Speaker 5 He has two tape recorders and he presses record on one, play on the other. It's the Gen Z one-man band.
That's what it is, isn't it?

Speaker 5 It's got a bass drum. I don't know.
He's brilliant.

Speaker 5 He says, in more What Did You Do Yesterday is the Center of the Universe, the episode of Doctors that Ian Smith mentioned during the bleak round table starred my wife in a lead role while it's proving that everything is showbiz.

Speaker 5 Uh, enjoying the pod. Thanks to you both.
It's very exciting. Yeah, I had no idea, but it does turn out everything is, in fact, showbiz.
I've got an email, Max. Uh-huh.

Speaker 5 I know this isn't my role, and people probably don't like it when we destroy the rules of the podcast, but that's the sort of guy I am. Yeah, we're ripping up broadcasting, as you know it.

Speaker 5 Please, David. This is from Dave, and the headline is Max's Teddington quiz hypocrisy.
Oh, interesting. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Dear DOD and Mars Bar, maybe you listen to Max's other I already have one podcast, and maybe you don't. I do.

Speaker 5 I do occasionally. Thank you, Dave.
And I was stunned at the level of blatant and chambers hypocrisy on the most recent GFW Guardian Football Weekly episode. Max's other Irish sidekick.

Speaker 5 Barry created a quiz. Which three teenagers have scored in four or more consecutive games? He asked.

Speaker 5 After a few seconds of incorrect guessing by the panel, Barry immediately offered some clues with which Max swiftly identified one of the teenagers as Franny Jeffers.

Speaker 5 You could hear the sheer joy in his voice as Barry confirmed it was indeed Jeffers. In fact, Max made a noise that can only be described as adding to the BOC.

Speaker 5 Max then quickly asked for the panel to be put out of our misery. That's an actual quote in quotes.
Barry immediately obliged, and Max commented on how much he enjoyed that little quiz.

Speaker 5 Surely to God, and Dave's put this bit in bold and caps.

Speaker 5 The exact same rules should be applied to the great Teddington identification quiz, and we would also have been put out of our misery months ago.

Speaker 5 The entire thing, including Barry setting up the premise, took capitals again, less than 60 seconds, three exclamation marks, not a minimum of 2,500 years,

Speaker 5 which was calculated on a recent midweek mayhem. And then I don't think I've ever heard this phrase before: bloody Jesus.
Otherwise, love the pod in it for life, Dave.

Speaker 5 What's your point, Dave? I don't know.

Speaker 5 They're very different podcasts.

Speaker 5 You say very different. Very different.
There's stuff to get through on that one.

Speaker 5 I can't on that. There's a process.
It gets edited. The exe producer listens to it.
It gets put on the Guardian's website. If I just said, sorry, we're not carrying on.
Interesting.

Speaker 5 They would just not put it out. Whereas we're in total control here.
I'm just a puppet there. Whereas this is the real me.

Speaker 5 Claim. That.
But interestingly, Colin from Cork,

Speaker 5 he has sent an actual transcript of this entire incident. Just listen to Garden Football Weekly, 30th October 2025.
Please read transcript below with timestamps. 30-05.

Speaker 5 Barry, he'd become the fourth teenager in Premier League history to score in four or more consecutive games. Can you name the other three? 30 minutes, 15 seconds.
Max Rooney, Orsie Owen, M. Or Giggs.

Speaker 5 Any of them are easy shearer. Or C.
Ronaldo. 30-30.
Barry Glandenning. Two of them are scousers.
One played for Liverpool, but is not English. Max Rushton, Franny Jeffers.
Barry Glandenning, yes.

Speaker 5 It's a good guess. It's good to get Jeffers, actually.
It's impressive. And Max says, can you put us out of our misery?

Speaker 5 So, just to recap, in the middle of the podcast, Barry came up with an Let's Request: 20 seconds. Max is looking for a clue.
Request is granted within 40 seconds.

Speaker 5 Max has given up and demands the answers. So that's from Colin and Cork.
Oh, thanks, Colin. We've got several others that are essentially the same thing.
I won't read them, but

Speaker 5 everyone's a hypocrite in life, you know.

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Speaker 5 This is from Bay Gavins. Regards the A to Z of things we like.

Speaker 5 Max is not beating the average boring man allegations anytime soon by saying

Speaker 5 I really do like apples. I do like apples.

Speaker 5 Not even like a jazz apple or a Cox's pippin or anything. Just the whole genre.
Would you like to narrow it down? How about cooking apples, Max? Again, I just like them. Oh,

Speaker 5 I do like, to be fair, a jazz. I do like a russet and a cox.
It's a wonderful apple. You don't get them here.
Oh, I don't think you do. But I really do like apples.
What's your problem?

Speaker 5 What's your problem? I was once in Australia and there was a big hurricane affected Queensland. And it was one of those times where I have a degree in economics.

Speaker 5 And yet this was the first time aspects of economics had ever impacted the real world. The hurricane decimated the Australian banana growth season.

Speaker 5 Bananas went up to a ridiculous, like 350 or something for a banana. And sometimes I would reach for a banana in the morning if I've mixed breakfast.

Speaker 5 But you do really think, hmm, 350, that's pushing the price limits of bananas. I once, it's one of my three anecdotes, but was in a, have I told this one on this? Charlie Baker, I told so many times.

Speaker 5 Me and Jamie went into this fancy delicatessen on Farringdon Road in London. And Jamie picked out this peach.

Speaker 5 And so then we go to the till and we just pay for it. It's not unlike the oats, the organic oats.
And I get the receipt. I don't normally get the receipt, but I got the receipt.

Speaker 5 You know, we got a couple of other things. They were like £18.
And I wasn't thinking. And as I left, I went, it can't be that peach.
And I looked at the receipt. The peach was £6.

Speaker 5 I was like, you can't. So I was like, that has got to be a mistake.
That can't be a £6 peach. I went back in saying, I'm terribly sorry.
I think there's been some sort of mistake. This peach is £6.

Speaker 5 And the person just looked at me and went, yep.

Speaker 5 And so then I left again. In like complete, like, I was incandescent with rage, but I'd taken the peach out.
You can't just take the peach back.

Speaker 5 It's not like a pair of trousers where you've kept the tag on. I think once the peach has left the premises, it's your peach.
Yeah, they don't normally have

Speaker 5 like a return desk in green grocers where you could get it. Do you want store credit? Do you want vouchers? Or a vintage shop.

Speaker 5 Vintage grocers where you could take in your old fruit and you get a bit of money for it. Or they'll sort of do it up and they'll say, you know, people, it's all the rage.
Peach is Geldof.

Speaker 5 There's the wrong person to pick of the celebrities. Where did that come from? How did I possibly pluck that one from my brain?

Speaker 5 The same thing happened to her old Al, but he reacted in a very different way by monetizing

Speaker 5 that peach.

Speaker 5 Should we do the rest of the A to Z then? We're on R. It's R to Z.
David, it's over to you. Oh, will I do my R to Z?

Speaker 5 Yours are better, I think.

Speaker 5 This is the final elements of I to Z of things I, David, and already like.

Speaker 5 In at number R,

Speaker 5 repairing things using YouTube videos. I just love it when you were going to have to get someone out to do it.

Speaker 5 And there's a calm American with like disgusting fingernails showing you how to you know nail a saddleboard back down or whatever. Yep, love it.

Speaker 5 S, Steely Dan, the band,

Speaker 5 as in Reel It in the Years, etc.

Speaker 5 But real deep cuts then as well. Yeah, absolutely love them.
T, the Tour de France of 1987. There's two seminal sporting events in my early life that I remember vividly.

Speaker 5 One is the 1984 UEFA Cup final where Tottenham Hotspur won on penalties. And I don't think I even knew that penalties existed.

Speaker 5 It was the sub-goalie. Ray Clements was injured.
Tony Parks saved the final penalty. And Jim Rosenthal, Tom Rosenthal, friend of the pods' dad, was the correspondent for ITV.

Speaker 5 And he went into the Spurs dressing room. In fact, I found it on YouTube again recently.

Speaker 5 And it's that thing where it's so steamy in the dressing room, the camera immediately steams up, and the camera operator keeps having to rub the lens of the camera as Jim is trying to get some sense out of deliriously happy footballers.

Speaker 5 U

Speaker 5 is under the stairs. I just love it as a location and a place of storage.
V is Vinnie Samways.

Speaker 5 Vinny Samways. Sorry, interruption.
Vinny is Vinnie Samways. It's good.
One day we should do a real tour under the stairs. And we each go to R under the stairs.

Speaker 5 Well, I don't really have one here because we don't have any stairs, so I don't really have have one i don't have one at all but no just an inventory david i's full under the stairs inventory yeah would be fun good stuff my star wars men are still under their wow yeah no spoilers okay no spoilers vinny samways for v okay vinny samways is the definitive kind of

Speaker 5 trophy-less fancy dan footballer of the 90s that i aspired to be always so cool always featured in goal of the month type competitions.

Speaker 5 But at the same time, one of the big teams never really wanted to buy him. I suspect his defensive game wasn't up to much.
At W

Speaker 5 is a podcast that I love called What Did You Do Yesterday? That's a good one, yeah. Yeah, I put that in there because I don't know what I would do with these mornings without you guys.

Speaker 5 Well, fortunately, we're in it for life, so you don't have to worry. I don't have to worry about that.

Speaker 5 X is an X-Wing fighter, which, I mean, there is one under the stairs, but that arrived after my wonderful and late grandfather, who worked for the civil service, but also could turn his hand to wood and furniture.

Speaker 5 I made one. I know, but I still think about it so much, which was, I just wanted an X-Wing fighter for my birthday one year.
A real one. And granddad was like, Boy, do I have a surprise for you?

Speaker 5 Oh, no. Oh, no.
Yeah. You won't have been able to lie with your face.
And

Speaker 5 that will be his last memory. Right.

Speaker 5 Oh, my God. Have any of the listeners has a wonderful and beloved relative ever tried to make you something out of wood that you clearly just wanted the plastic version of?

Speaker 5 Well, look, we discussed this because my Granny Mora made me a Chewbacca suit where I look absolutely nothing like it's true.

Speaker 5 do you think you burst into tears as well

Speaker 5 it was so hot it was impressively hot and yeah i just look like a bear

Speaker 5 Why is yesterdays just generally?

Speaker 5 I know I've had the podcast what did you do yesterday, but I'm now putting yesterdays in there because I'll be honest, Max, this podcast has changed my relationship with yesterday's okay and live every day like you're recording an episode of what you did yesterday tomorrow some of that I think has seeped in we did struggle with Zed so I've put in three options here Zurich the city went there once didn't particularly like it but it gets on the list yeah okay yeah zone brackets danger brackets highway 2 Yeah, that's a song.

Speaker 5 Don't particularly like that either.

Speaker 5 And so with Zed, I think we'll just go with Ziploc bags because i use them quite a lot helencomter puts bay leaves in them and freezes them so thank goodness for ziploc bags okay ah road trips love road trips anyone in particular well i obviously haven't been on one since i've had children i don't regret having children but me and jay did some brilliant ones in the states i've done some really good ones got it mates as well just Nothing better.

Speaker 5 I was in Brazil once and just got a van and filled it with people and drove into the middle of Brazil.

Speaker 5 And that was really whoa these tails again we've been doing this for over a year sure the peach one but antora deck shaving your chest getting a van and just driving into the middle of the brazil there was a really fun bit where we were driving back because we'd got it in a place called salvador which is quite a sketchy town there was seven of us and there was loads of luggage it wasn't like a powerful van yeah we were driving back in it was a bit late at night and people were like look let's just get there quickly you know and we were going up this hill and then basically, these people started chasing us.

Speaker 5 I think someone had, I mean, I can't remember if someone had a gun, but there were people banging on the thing, and I was like, Don't worry, it'll be fine.

Speaker 5 And we were basically going slower than the people chasing us up this hill, you know, going.

Speaker 5 It was so funny, trying desperately to get back to, you know, hearts, rent a car, which is like, you think, once we get there, well, they can't touch us. We got away on a, on a slightly flatter road.

Speaker 5 This is sleep. Of course, it's sleep.
T is the toucan at the Guinness Pub in Soho, you know, back in the day, once a month, toucan Thursdays, me and my schoolmates, and they still do it.

Speaker 5 U was a tricky one for me, and Jamie suggested undercover cops, U-Turns, Undies, Lululemon, Ursula van der Leyen's views on Europe, but we didn't go with any of them. She suggested it, and it is true.

Speaker 5 Unhappily married couples in cafes, mainly just couples who just say nothing to each other. Yeah, these are things you like, so you enjoy watching them.
I just got mesmerized by

Speaker 5 couples who are saying nothing, but not in that we don't need to say anything, we're so happy. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Jamie says this, you know, you occasionally owe it, you owe it to society to be annoyed with each other in a public setting because you really like enjoy watching other people like having a bit of a row in a public setting.

Speaker 5 So it doesn't mean that their relationship is in a bad place. It just

Speaker 5 having a bad time. And I do find that.
And maybe that makes me a bad guy, but I can't stop watching it. You know what I mean?

Speaker 5 No, but also in defense of those people, you have have just arrived in with your chaotic 35 children. Yep.
And just the small explosions going off, things are being smashed.

Speaker 5 No, but then they would be like tutting us. You know, like that's a different.
These are, you know, this is real just staring through each other type.

Speaker 5 V, viewing houses I can't afford on the internet. Absolutely can't stop doing that.

Speaker 5 Because once it's got past a certain amount of money, you go, well, that's a ridiculous amount of money. So I might as well just add another half a million as if I have that somewhere, but I don't.

Speaker 5 Now, on my algorithm, I have like sort of swanky, suave guys in Porsches going, you know, parking up outside a six-bed house in Wandsworth, going, take a look at these exposed brickwork.

Speaker 5 And I'm mesmerized and I hate everything about the house and the people, but I really like watching it. W wife, because that meant I could get Jurassic Park for J.
So W is wife. X is xylophones.

Speaker 5 I presume everyone will pick xylophones. Let's drill into this.
Okay. Do one of your children have a small xylophone? Can you give me anything on xylophones or did you just pick it?

Speaker 5 Like, was it down to x-rays or xylophone?

Speaker 5 It mainly was that. And I guess in many ways, x-rays have been more useful to me in my life than xylophones.

Speaker 5 But I just believe when we, because I, you know, I've said this to you in all seriousness, this is our YouTube show, A to Z of Things I Like.

Speaker 5 I guarantee you, xylophones will come out a lot. You know, when we've got Oprah and she says xylophones, you'll be like, fair enough.
Fair enough. The only way around it would be to get a pet.

Speaker 5 Is it Zeru? There's an animal with an X that's like a cute squirrel.

Speaker 5 And then when the podcast version of this gets huge,

Speaker 5 people will get them a year in advance, anticipating they're about to be on. Ah, I see.
Yeah, yeah, good idea. My brother-in-law is called Xavier.
I probably should have picked him.

Speaker 5 Yeah, you really should. Y is for Yahtzee.
I like Yahtzee. Is that the dice? The dice game, yeah.
Dice game, yeah. Snake Eyes.
Yeah, and Zed is for Zone 1. Because I miss the middle of London.

Speaker 5 But let's be real, I know my Zone 1. You know, whenever we get a guest who's getting into that area, you know, I really like that.

Speaker 5 Which is part of the game, isn't it? That's the whole point. Things you like.
I like them. There's my A to Z.
Wow. Okay, cool.
And we've got a lot to get through.

Speaker 5 Now, let's just acknowledge that we finished that bit. Because some of these bits, they can really drag on.
Whereas

Speaker 5 that was something we thought about doing. We've now done it.
Maybe the listeners enjoyed it. We would be interested, listeners, if you what you would add, particularly for those tricky letters.

Speaker 5 And by the tricky ones, obviously, you've got your X, your Z, and your Q. Hence, I put in Quentin.
And of course, A for me.

Speaker 5 Let's play the just normal countries.

Speaker 5 I am the one and only.

Speaker 8 What country could I be?

Speaker 8 I am the one and only.

Speaker 8 Where in the world could our listeners be?

Speaker 5 So, Mrs. N is staying on the board, isn't she? Let me read it out.

Speaker 5 The countries for Madagascar, Namibia, Costa Rica, Uganda, North Korea, Guyana, Northern Marianas Islands, Bhutan, Brunei, Nepal, Eswatini, US Virgin Islands, Equatorial Guinea, San Marino, correct.

Speaker 5 Liechtenstein, Turkmenistan, Seychelles, Mauritius, Georgia, Vatican City, Oman, Fiji, correct. Vanuatu, Bolivia, Faroe Islands, correct.
Oh, such delight, says Mrs. N.

Speaker 5 I'm so happy my guess was correct. And now I feel the pressure.
There are so many possible guesses. I think I'll be moving away from the Nordic countries.

Speaker 5 I know that Denmark, for instance, has a lot of listens. I'm currently on the third round of running through the back catalogue here in Copenhagen.
Wow, the third round. That's exciting.

Speaker 5 As I recently visited Poland, I've been wondering how many people in Eastern Europe there might be listeners. Trying to find a more obscure country than that.

Speaker 5 I will hazard a guess for the country of Belarus. Thank you for the best podcast ever.
Please keep it up. I'm in it for life.
Mrs. N, producer Marsbar, how many listens in Belarus?

Speaker 5 So at the time that we started this quiz, because we're getting a lot of feedback about people that have subsequently listened to say that there's no way it could be one or less. Right.

Speaker 5 They have to remember this was July, June. We started this.

Speaker 5 So there have been subsequent listens. We're already rattling through this one, but yes, go in.

Speaker 5 There were 73 listens in Belarus.

Speaker 5 73 in Belarus. Yeah.
It's pretty impressive, isn't it? Okay. So bad luck, Mrs.
N. Everyone else in the world, you're back in play.
Back in play. David, do you have any questions for me?

Speaker 5 Who played Tectonics for four points?

Speaker 5 Yes, Max.

Speaker 5 I have one question for you that may lead to other questions.

Speaker 5 What did you do yesterday?

Speaker 5 Let me take you back to the morning. And I woke up at 7 a.m.
Oh, wow. It's not as good as it sounds.

Speaker 5 It had been a bleak night. But for the interest of official wake-up time, 7, you find me in Mama Dadda bed with Willie Rushton.

Speaker 5 We have been in the last few days trying to get him to sleep in the cot for the whole night and not the bed.

Speaker 5 and if he's going to sleep on us for some reason that's okay but don't give him the association that sleeping in the bed is okay but at 5 45 that morning i buckle and i roll him onto the bed and i snuggle next to him and we have a glorious hour and a bit and boy did i need that yeah it is wet and cold it's 14 degrees but it melbourne is weird or you go soft it feels colder the previous day was 30 degrees that's classic that's classic melbourne guys and it rains all day Basically, it rains solidly all day.

Speaker 5 I bring Willie into the living room. Ian and Jamie are there playing Mobilo.
We get ready. We discuss our tiredness.
Excuse me. What's Mobilo? Not Playmobile.
It's a bit like that.

Speaker 5 It's somewhere between Meccano, Lego, and Playmobile, I would say. So things

Speaker 5 connect, and you can kind of make diggers and helicopters.

Speaker 5 Nice. Good fun.
Yeah, I'd be good at that. We discuss our tiredness and we conclude it wasn't such a bad night, which is,

Speaker 5 and we've discussed it before, it's real reverse gaslighting. We are trying to convince ourselves of reality that isn't there, but it kind of works.

Speaker 5 And there's something about, you know, when it gets to around eight o'clock where you feel like you should be awake, so you are, and we're off to the cafe.

Speaker 5 Yeah, and it is proper shove kids in the car.

Speaker 5 in the rain you're struggling with buckles the water is hitting your neck yeah i've got a raincoat on jamie doesn't wear a raincoat because she's still she's quite fashionable even though she's sort of wearing an oversized baggie t-shirt she just wasn't raincoats aren't aren't cool.

Speaker 5 Whereas I'm just anorak up to the hilt. And what I want to know is the level of rain coming down.
It's solid. It's a solid seven out of 10.
So the game would be played. The game would be played.

Speaker 5 Sliding tackles. People would go into touch on their arises.
after the sliding tackle. Yeah.
So it's the kind of rain where if this rain started while you were playing, you'd be totally fine with it.

Speaker 5 But if it was raining like this when you got to the ground,

Speaker 5 you'd be like, oh, I've got to take my bag outside and it's going to get wet. And you'd be warming up, going, This is why am I doing this? Yeah, Willie hates the car, so I drive.

Speaker 5 Jamie begins in the front seat, but she sort of pommel horses herself back into the middle seat in between the two kids' car seats.

Speaker 5 There's not enough space for a human there, and her legs are basically coming through into the front on the steering wheel. And that's how we're driving the three minutes to the cafe.

Speaker 5 We are in the cafe. I have a black coffee like Jack Reacher and scrambled eggs on toast.

Speaker 5 Yeah, grace ian has a sort of etcher sketch game it's like electric thing and you put a little card in there is a say a duck on the card and a woman's voice will say duck and then either ian or i will draw a duck we draw a duck a mango a car a cement mixer jamie is impressed with my dragon fruit

Speaker 5 a mango is a tough fruit to draw for good it's not like a pineapple that has discernible features. It just looks like a rugby ball.

Speaker 5 Yeah, but I mean, if you sort of draw, I mean, Ian is, he's either a very generous critic or he's not really that fussed about, you know, he's not a realist painter, I would say.

Speaker 5 And so you're sort of okay because art is not my strong point.

Speaker 5 This is the invention of photography had this effect on painting generally, where they knew that photography from now on could do the photorealism type stuff.

Speaker 5 And that's really when painting came alive.

Speaker 5 And you've got people like Ian then who are really like, what is the essence of a mango not the shape exactly exactly anyway the eggs are rushed because I'm taking Ian to the doctor's this is Monday he went to the doctor's on Friday he has tonsillitis oh wow and his glands on his right side are quite inflamed behind his neck he can't turn his head to the right it's a bit like when I brick my neck so he has to move his whole body it's very cute and it's kind of swollen so he can't quite speak properly when he first came into the uh living room on friday i thought you know this was sort of the end of days and we had to call like every doctor in the world and jamie was like i think it's fine the doctor for the second time says it's fine but you know you like to be sure ian is very brave when the doctor says go r he does i'm gonna say the meekest r that anyone has ever done

Speaker 5 and

Speaker 5 In many ways, he has inherited his sort of lack of stoicness from me. This is how I am when I have one mouth ulcer.
I'm like, nobody knows pain like I do.

Speaker 5 I'm imagining him for some reason. I've put a little flat cap on him and a scarf.
And he's also clanking a fisherman's friend round his mouth the whole time.

Speaker 5 Anyway, it's a pretty quick job. Now, this is interesting because it's not free in this country.
So it costs you $80.

Speaker 5 It costs you $105, but then you get $35 back in some system that I don't quite understand. Just charge me.
what it is. And they say if you come after nine o'clock, it would be $30.

Speaker 5 I'm like, that seems odd. But anyway, so next time I will delay, you know, some serious illness to save $30.

Speaker 5 Or another thing we could do next time is we'll get as a guest someone who's a qualified doctor. Harry Hill, I think, is a qualified doctor.
Yeah, yeah, Harry Hill. That's true.

Speaker 5 Carl Kennedy, of course. It'll become obvious.
to the listeners midway through, we're just trying to save that $100 slash $30

Speaker 5 by not really caring about their yesterday, but telling them all the symptoms that Ian Rushton has. What did you do yesterday, brackets, telehealth appointment for the kids?

Speaker 5 We go back to the cafe because they're still there, and we pick up the family. We get back in the rain, we get back in the car, we go home.

Speaker 5 Willie is tired, so Jamie and Ian go off to somewhere called Mopa Museum of Play and Art, which is good fun.

Speaker 5 I play with Willie for a little bit, then it's nap time. I read him a book called Bad Apple, it's a good book.
Then I rock him to sleep.

Speaker 5 I'm surprised you you like that book because it seems to go against the ace's head of the things that you like.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I'm a real hater. I'm constantly on X.
I'm really, really like nailing that book and the authors. I like troll them.
I don't say where I'm from. I've got fake accounts.

Speaker 5 I just go after the illustrator, the author of this cute kid's book called Bat Apple, going, you fucking, you nonce. So I'm constantly saying to them, On X,

Speaker 5 you give apples a bad name. I've seen one of them eat an apple and I'm like, like, you've eaten an apple.
You disgust me. And I rock Willie to sleep.
He goes to sleep in five seconds. That's great.

Speaker 5 And I lay him in my arms and I sit on the big chair we've got in Ian's bedroom and I open the laptop and I watch Match of the Day and I work on the Football Weekly script.

Speaker 5 And now I've been told sort of 20 minutes is like the cycle for when a

Speaker 5 baby is in their deepest sleep. So when it hits 20 minutes, you can throw him in the cot from any height, actually.
He stays asleep.

Speaker 5 So that's good because, you know, you're sort of bumbling around and you lay him in.

Speaker 5 And sometimes, if you get the wrong time in the sleep circle, you could literally have lowered them in like on a silk cushion in a cloud lying down, and then they'll touch the air mattress, and then something will happen-like just some tiny little like it's like the princess in a pee, and they'll wake up, but this time he stays straight to sleep.

Speaker 5 So, that's

Speaker 5 great. Do you watch Match of the Day on 1.5? Oh, no, there's an odd moment in that episode of Match of the Day where Michael Carrick and Rob Green are the two new guests.
Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 5 And Michael Carrick delivers a

Speaker 5 like, he's obviously incredibly technically minded. And I think he's talking about what Manchester City are doing in a given match.
And it cuts to Rob Green.

Speaker 5 And he's just like, all right, nerd, whatever. And it's just, you're not supposed to do that on Match of the Day.

Speaker 5 That's what it's worth. I always like Rob Green as much.
I think Carrick's really good at that. Yeah.
So I finished my work when he's asleep. Willie wakes up at 11, a little bit peckish.

Speaker 5 Now, trickle treat was recently, and we left a bowl of sweets out and chocolate and just said, don't bother us. But here's some stuff.
Who the lads dress up as?

Speaker 5 Well, Ian was going to go to this thing on Friday, but because he was off kinder, because he had tonsilitis, he was a bit under the weather. He wasn't really focused.

Speaker 5 Although he could have gone as that Adams family guy with the big neck because he just had it, you know, like his lymph nodes weren't perfectly sorted for Halloween.

Speaker 5 So anyway, I make a cup of tea and I'm doing my best to get through all the chocolate and sweets so I can live healthily. But they're in a bowl in the fridge.

Speaker 5 So I eat two chocolate Freddos that had melted in the sun and have reformed. So they don't look like Freddos anymore, but they taste the same as Freddos.
So I had a complex Halloween, which was

Speaker 5 I had all the lights off. I was hiding.

Speaker 5 towards the rear of the building okay because i didn't want people to call because this is a good road for people calling i took away there was no pumpkins out front.

Speaker 5 I even dusted the cobwebs off the railings, lest anyone think that I'd sprayed them on. However, one of the neighbors' daughters called Noah, she has allergies.

Speaker 5 Her mom had been saying it's difficult to call round to houses because there's lots of things she can't eat. So I'd said, You call into me.
I'll get some bits that aren't food, some fun bits.

Speaker 5 So while I didn't want people to to call, I did want one person to call.

Speaker 5 So, occasionally, there'd be a ring on the doorbell, and I would run to the front window and just look out sideways and generally ignore them. Then,

Speaker 5 and you'd hear the disappointed parents being, oh, there's no one in. Come on, let's go.
Do they know it's your house? Is it like we saw David O'Dougherty and he doesn't give to trick-or-treaters?

Speaker 5 There is a big statue of me, yes,

Speaker 5 in the front garden.

Speaker 5 You got it. Well, the doorbell is a tiny keyboard, isn't it? And it plays one of my songs.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a real giveaway.
Did it eventually Noah came? So she called.

Speaker 5 I had bought several sort of like glow-in-the-dark cubes, just general stretchy things and fun things to play with. And I'd stuck them all to a piece of string, the end of which was by the front door.

Speaker 5 So when she arrived, she pulled the string and five or six things arrived. It was a good one.
I had no idea. When you sent that video, I had no idea what you were doing.

Speaker 5 Oh, I did send you a video of that. Yeah.
Yeah. But it didn't explain it.

Speaker 5 The problem, in the whatever, two minutes that she was there, many other trick-or-treaters walked by and were like, wow, this guy has items attached to strings. We got to go.

Speaker 5 So it was very hard to, when we said goodbye to Noah, to then put the house back into lockdown effectively and pretend that what kids had seen with their own eyes was a complete mirage.

Speaker 5 Okay, sorry, back to you.

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Speaker 5 Ian and Jamie come home from Mopa. It's still raining.
Half past midday, I have some ravioli. There's nothing in the fridge.
It's like the last thing left, but it's good.

Speaker 5 Sort of the spinach and feta ravioli with some parmesan cheese. That's good.
Great. 1 p.m.
I want a coffee. I take Willie to a cafe called Standing Room.

Speaker 5 I have a three-quarter flat white and a cookie. And my friend Dave, the osteopath, comes to see us.
And we have a chat for about 25 minutes. Yeah.
Which is lovely. And I like Dave.

Speaker 5 Osteopath could be one of those.

Speaker 5 Comedian sort of is one of those jobs where you end up talking about

Speaker 5 things to do with that are wrong with you. Right.
You know what I mean? Like, maybe it happens to you as well. People talk about football, but you like talking about about football.

Speaker 5 You know, do you end up talking about how your body is breaking down? I've got Dave osteopath friend, Owen Physio, will give me very short shrift, unless it's real. Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 5 It's like, I'm not interested in this. You know, there is amongst the WhatsApp group that Owen is in, there is one called Owen's Injury Clinic.
That is where anybody goes.

Speaker 5 And, you know, sometimes one of us does have a bad injury.

Speaker 5 And as soon as someone says, you know, I've got to have back surgery, then everyone else piles in with i've got a little bit actually while we're here you know

Speaker 5 well we've got your attention i spent a long time talking about my plantar fasciitis but people don't talk about their physical health enough as i've keep saying and so it's good that we uh but no we don't really talk about that actually i've come from what we talk about we talk a lot about a goal that interman scored it's an amazing goal uh go and look it up if you're interested zielinski scores it from a corner it's 2 p.m i'm home it's nap time i get willie down jay takes over she's having a rest me and ian are going two doors down where the family have left us the keys.

Speaker 5 They've gone to New Zealand for a few days. And they just said, look, we've got loads of toys.
They've got a little girl. She's got loads of paw patrol.
They've got a swing ball in the back garden.

Speaker 5 So me and Ian go over there. When we get there, there's about a thousand mosquitoes under there, just outside their front door.
And I'm like, oh, have we left something in the house?

Speaker 5 I'm going to open up. And we accidentally left like a dead deer in the house the last time because, you know, we popped over a few days ago.

Speaker 5 So I rush back and I get the Mozzie spray and I take out all these mosquitoes and we get in the house and it's tidy and that's fine. So, we play some Paul Patrol.
We go on some Paul Patrol adventures.

Speaker 5 Very generous offer. What a kind

Speaker 5 of thing. Yeah.
Because they were like, they know that we're having trouble with sleeping.

Speaker 5 Maybe one of you could come here and sleep for the night and have a night off. Yeah.
Really lovely. They're lovely.
And we do Paul Patrol, play swing ball for a bit.

Speaker 5 And then Ian says, I want to go home. So we lock up the house.
We leave them a little present.

Speaker 5 Although we did steal a tin of kidney beans from their cupboard for a chili, and we didn't replace the kidney beans. So hopefully they don't know.
It was right at the back.

Speaker 5 I was amazed I found it, but it was great. You were looking.
I tell you what, you were looking, rummaging through. Well, no, no, no.

Speaker 5 Actually, we just didn't have time to get to the shops on a previous day to get the kidney beans. And so I was going to ask the neighbours over.

Speaker 5 I was going to ask Frank and Janet or Mary over the road, of course, but I instead, I just found one. You stole one.

Speaker 5 Swing ball is one of the worst games to play with a three to four year old. Is it not one of those ones that's so frustrating because you can't quite get it right?

Speaker 5 I'm playing a three-year-old with Tonsilitis. I'm not pulling out Doran Ivanisovich here.
Do you know what I mean? Double-handed backhand? Yeah, I'm helping him along. I'm helping the ball around.

Speaker 5 I'm competitive, but I'm not competitive like that. You know, I'm not like Tiger Woods' dad or the Williams' dad.
It's unlikely that these guys will make it as elite sportspeople. I didn't go for it.

Speaker 5 Swing bowl would be a funny sport to raise your son. You're going to be the greatest swing bowler that the planet has ever seen.

Speaker 5 we get home at three o'clock me and Ian go to Cole's big supermarket we park and there's a trolley right outside and that's great because he can sit in the seat but interestingly on the trolley seat it says weight limit 18 kilos and obviously I don't weigh Ian ever but we'd been to the doctors and they'd weighed him and he's 18.2 and I think wow we're running the gauntlet here but he goes in and the trolley survives they don't have box you know some supermarkets good there's a big box at the end that you can pour your food in but they don't have that at Coles and I I had not bought any bags.

Speaker 5 But then there's a big empty box by the bananas. So I take it and I put it in the trolley.
And now we've got a box. I'm like, okay, it's all come to pass.
We've got a trolley. Ian's in the trolley.

Speaker 5 We've got a box. I can do a big open-minded shop here.
This is very exciting. So I go around putting lots of things in the trolley that I like and I think we need apples, of course.

Speaker 5 I buy five bananas. We get home.
There are five bananas at home. We now have 10 bananas.
Jamie bananas. This is too many bananas.
We've got too many bananas.

Speaker 5 You're working your way through the alphabet. You've got apples, you've got bananas, you've got carrots.

Speaker 5 So now we're at home and it's very rainy day vibes. Ian and I try and do a Mr.
Chicken puzzle. It might be a 250-piece puzzle.

Speaker 5 But the issue is Willie has learnt to crawl, which I suppose ultimately is good. You know, he's on the way to walking, which is what we want.

Speaker 5 But in terms of this puzzle being built, it's not helpful because he's not

Speaker 5 constructive when it comes to puzzles at this stage. He's just a kind of mass wobbling towards the puzzle, and he will eat the puzzle pieces or he'll push the puzzles away.

Speaker 5 And Ian, who's not 100%, is not really happy about this.

Speaker 5 The conclusion is we don't finish the puzzle, and the two children are upset because, for different reasons, puzzle-related, they just can't coexist in this world at this stage. It's difficult.

Speaker 5 Now, I was babysitting at the weekend. Now, this was with probably an eight-year-old, seven or eight-year-old, and a two-year-old.

Speaker 5 And that's a tricky one because we built a marvelous Lego tower, just as tall as you can possibly. It was originally a speedboat, and then I just kept putting the mast up because I'm crazy.

Speaker 5 And then little Tuzi came along. with just there's only one thing on this kid's mind and that is you might as well give him a wrecking ball mightn't you in a big deal

Speaker 5 but it was interesting how the older kid just had to. Obviously, this is learnt, but it's like, oh, well, we'll just have to start again.

Speaker 5 You know, as opposed to the more natural reaction, which is a headlock. Okay, 5 p.m.
We're having dinner in a box. Chicken, veg, nice gravy, mashed potato.
Jamie's made that.

Speaker 5 Ian is having plain rice and seaweed. Willie is eating anything put within two feet of him.
And actually, at the moment, the mulberry tree next door is dropping a lot of mulberries.

Speaker 5 And they're like the perfect... They're like a plug size for a baby's throat.

Speaker 5 It's like a disaster of him just strawberry around the country, like a mulberry bush, like a mulberry tree, like gooseberries?

Speaker 5 Whatever they are, they're sort of red. Yeah, they're annoying if you put your washing underneath them.

Speaker 5 And the tree is now overgrown so much that it in really windy weather, you can hear it buffeting against the shed that I'm in on the radio. So I need to get the secotaires out.

Speaker 5 So, would you ever eat them? No, I don't think so. We certainly don't eat these ones.
Turns from pink to red while ripening. The dark purple or black has a sweet flavor when fully ripe.

Speaker 5 Are mulberries good to eat? Yes, you can eat mulberries. That's a bad open line.

Speaker 5 Benefits improves digestive health. Yeah, it does not sound that delicious.

Speaker 5 Okay. Well, I mean, he doesn't need as much digestive health improvement as he's trying to get through with the mulberries.
But anyway, 6.40, I put Woolly down. In the cot, he goes down pretty well.

Speaker 5 That's good. 6.55.
Press up some squats time. It's day 61.

Speaker 5 now interestingly my algorithm apart from showing me sort of very neat haircutted 28 year old estate agents selling me houses i can't afford in parts of london i don't want to live it's increasingly old men with six packs doing tai chi yeah saying all you have to do is this five minutes of flapping your arms about like dead flappy arms like it's constant my algorithm is just people doing so anyway there's a five minute bit of that but i don't have time to do that today but i've been doing flappy arms as well as my press-ups.

Speaker 5 Wow.

Speaker 5 Interesting to see what happens to me. 7.15 Football Weekly with a Peppermint T.

Speaker 5 Me, Barry, Jonathan Wilson, Philippe O'Claire. That's a great lineup.
And we dissect Monday's football. And I don't think there was a quiz that you can accuse me of hypocrisy on this episode.

Speaker 5 But oh, the one good bit is someone says that's the most expensive bench. Talking about, you know, some substitutes.
But then I start wondering what is the most expensive bench?

Speaker 5 Like Antiques Road show. Yeah, yeah.
And the Hudson River, you can, you get a 20-year sort of debenture. It's the wrong word, I guess.

Speaker 5 Yeah. You can have a bench for like, you know, you're someone who's died for 20 years for a hundred grand.
I mean, these sort of fancy benches by the Hudson River seems a lot. 8.30.

Speaker 5 I record a trailer for a new podcast I'm doing, David. What?

Speaker 5 Oh, my God. Is it an A-League look at back at the weeks Australian soccer? It's called the Guardian Ashes Weekly.
Whoa. We're just going to do like 10 pods over the ashes and it's going to be fun.

Speaker 5 So many of our listeners, even some of our Irish listeners, won't know that the ashes is not where he looks at the week in

Speaker 5 coal burning stations. I take a celebrity and they we take the ashes of one of their relatives and we look at them, pour through them and scatter them somewhere.

Speaker 5 Not a bad idea for a podcast, to be honest. The Ashes is the biannual cricket game between Australia and England.
Correct. So you'll be doing that every day? No, no, no, no.

Speaker 5 We're just going to do some after each test, maybe before a few, something like that. But it should be fun.
We've got some good... The cricket writers are very, very good.
So that'll be fun.

Speaker 5 A guy called Jeff Lemon is my sort of co-host for that Aussie guy. So we record a trailer for that.

Speaker 5 9 p.m., it's Russell Howard's. What did you do yesterday? I get a glass of red wine.
I have some posh mint chocolate. And we record that for an hour and a half.
And I have a good time.

Speaker 5 Do you get the second... I did hear a can open at some point during it.
Oh, I think

Speaker 5 that might have been Russell opening that can. Yeah, well.
So I was thinking, uh-oh, Russian's got on the party train now.

Speaker 5 You're questioning. And then at nine o'clock, I just started to think like, fuck it.

Speaker 5 I'm fucking cool.

Speaker 5 Anyway, Jamie has been in touch. during the podcast as we established during the episode.
So I rush back in. All is quiet.
Brush my teeth, get in the day bed. I lie down for one minute.
Ian wakes up.

Speaker 5 He's having a tough time because he's got, you know, it's all swollen there.

Speaker 5 I lie in bed for 25 minutes. He goes back to sleep.
I get back in the day bed. Willie wakes up.
I go into mum and dad of bed, relieve Jamie. Willie is screaming, but he goes down within five minutes.

Speaker 5 Now, I've left my phone in the day bed and I need it to see what 20 minutes is. And also, I'm just lying there with the baby.

Speaker 5 And I'm just, you know, I need to decompress after another one of our scintillating podcasts. Yeah.

Speaker 5 So I run the gauntlet. I carry him.
He's just falling asleep into the playroom with all the train set and everything. I just to get my phone.
I get back to the bed. It's great.

Speaker 5 20 minutes later, I transfer him to the cot.

Speaker 5 I go for another wee.

Speaker 5 And that's it. And then I, you know, I'd say that's about it.
Like, if you push me an hour later, I'm probably awake again. But I think for the interests of the day and for yesterday,

Speaker 5 there we are. Yeah, so when you said run the gauntlet, it was that you don't stand on a Hot Wheel car.
Well, I'm also carrying Willie, so I could wake him and I've got him down.

Speaker 5 So, like, it's madness. But it was actually quite thrilling.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 Well done. Thanks, Love.
Fabe's in touch. Hi, David, Max and Marsbury.
I love the pod.

Speaker 5 The recent midweek madness has me wondering what happens to the Teddington quiz if when Max passes away in 40 to 50 years, heaven forbid.

Speaker 5 The recent calculations say that we're unlikely to get an answer before the year 4,500. What contingencies have been put in place? Is the answer in a sealed vault?

Speaker 5 Or will Ian and Willie and their descendants be given the answer and locked in for generations in it for life?

Speaker 5 I will put the answer in my will.

Speaker 5 And I have to keep hosting this with Ian Royston. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 5 Fine. Okay.
So anyway, a few months ago, you may not remember, but I was in Teddington and I saw a comedian putting up posters for his show, upcoming show. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 5 Then a couple of days later, I saw an England footballer walking past me in in the hotel that I was in. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Marsba and David, you both get a guess each, really enjoyed Joe Hart banana from last week.

Speaker 5 And our apologies again to Joe Hart because we were all convinced it was Joe Hart because we decided he did look like a banana and then it wasn't him.

Speaker 5 Although he looks a bit like a banana, but not in a bad way, is what I'm saying. Yeah.
Does that help?

Speaker 5 Okay, David, over to you first. Yeah, I actually know who the...
Oh, God, do I hear still that?

Speaker 5 You guys could put a bit of thought into it you complain all the time but then you just toss it off and go I think it was Matt Lofthouse and Roseanne Barr and you're like come on guys

Speaker 5 Franny Jaffers

Speaker 5 and Hal Cruttenden incorrect

Speaker 5 I know we're not allowed any cues on this clues on this sorry um

Speaker 5 I would like to offer it out to the yesterday hive mind and start crowdsourcing this yeah just put out a call to action if anybody can help us out there, anybody that lives in Tennington, anyone that runs a comedy club in the Tennington vicinity, anyone that works in a hotel in Tennington, please, please help us end this misery.

Speaker 5 Max Quinn from Parkdale in Victoria has been in touch.

Speaker 5 Please do not put up with the way Max treats you during the mental quicksand that is his Tennington quiz.

Speaker 5 His failure to provide clues or even confirm any partial correct guesses is nothing more than bullying by a tinpot dictator with the merest sniff of power.

Speaker 5 And you need to respect your time and yourselves more. End Teddington now.
If you will not change or desist, I suggest you each offer the same guesses every time. Interesting.

Speaker 5 Turning it into performance arts and taking the power back. In other regards, I love you, Max.
And I remain in it for life. So that's the sort of feedback we're getting at the moment.

Speaker 5 I love, as a political campaign, end Teddington now. Like, if you lived in Teddington, but you weren't aware of this quiz, you'd be like, this seems a bit unfair.

Speaker 5 I love the idea of it becoming a sort of siege mentality where Dave and I both give the same answer.

Speaker 5 Any other person in the world, I believe, would crumble. I think that would solidify Max's defenses.

Speaker 5 He would triple park the bus and we would die on this hill.

Speaker 5 I'd take them out of my will. I'd have the will reading and you'd be sat there waiting for the will reading and I'd be like, well, if you weren't going to play properly, I'm not telling you.

Speaker 5 That's what it would say.

Speaker 5 I'm going to go for Sean Walsh and Paul Merson.

Speaker 5 Great guys.

Speaker 5 But look, good try. Well done, everyone.
Thanks for playing. Thanks for really, you know, giving it a good go.

Speaker 5 People really love it, except for the person on Reddit going, you can hear the actual rage in David Marspast.

Speaker 5 If you would like to contribute to the End Telling to Now campaign or get a touch. Is that you're asking for donations? Are you asking for fundraising?

Speaker 5 You've raised 50 million quid for End Teddington now.

Speaker 5 This is how to get in touch with the podcast.

Speaker 5 To get in touch with the show, you can email us at what did you do yesterday pod at gmail.com. Follow us on Instagram at yesterday pod.

Speaker 5 And please subscribe and leave a review if you liked it on your preferred podcast platform. And if you didn't, please don't.

Speaker 5 Thanks, David. I mean, it's interesting.
Paul Merson lives in Teddington, so like it's not a bad guess. Oh, right.
Yeah, but that may have been right.

Speaker 5 Unfortunately, we've no way of knowing. That would have been the ultimate double bluff just then from me.

Speaker 5 Oh, was it? Especially if the answer was like Bradley Walsh and Paul Merson was the thing, and he said Sean Walsh and Paul Merron, but you didn't

Speaker 5 even give the slightest flicker. Yeah, no, that's just wrong.
That's wrong. Hey, let's do it again sometime, David.
Thanks, Max. Thanks, Marsbar.
Thanks, Marsbar. Thanks, David.