S3 EP21: Ania Magliano

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Speaker 3 Podcasts, there are millions of them. Some might say too many? I have one already.
I don't have any, because there are enough. Politics, business, sport, you name it.

Speaker 3 There's a podcast about it, and they all ask the big questions and cover the hot topics of the day. But nobody is covering the most important topic of all.
Why is that? Are they scared?

Speaker 3 Too afraid of being censored by the man?

Speaker 3 Possibly, but not us. We're here to ask the only question that matters.
We'll try and say it at the same time, Max. What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday?

Speaker 3 That's it. All we're interested in is what the guests got up to yesterday, nothing more.
Day before yesterday, Max? Nope. The greatest and most interesting day of your life?

Speaker 3 Unless it was yesterday, we don't want to know about it. I'm Max Rushton.
And I'm David O'Doherty. Welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday?

Speaker 3 Hello, and welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday, a podcast about what people did yesterday. I'm Max Rushdon.
He is David O'Doherty. Welcome, David.
Is that what it's about? Oh, I never realized.

Speaker 3 It takes some people a while to understand the concept, but once you do, it actually has quite a simple narrative arc.

Speaker 3 Each episode, you sort of know where it starts, and you're pretty sure where it's going to end. Another Max booking today.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anya Magliano is.

Speaker 3 We studied together at Cambridge, despite the fact that I didn't go to Cambridge and I went to university in the same year she was born.

Speaker 3 But those things aside, she's one of my great friends from college.

Speaker 3 She is a friend of mine from the world of comedy. She is on the current slash last series of Taskmaster and her comedy is really good.
She is going on tour.

Speaker 3 from February to May 2026 with that's probably her first big tour, the first

Speaker 3 post-Taskmaster tour. It's called Peach Fuzz, and it is highly recommended.
It's an app that has a slightly like a sort of omen hanging over it, doesn't it? It does.

Speaker 3 And also, you know, spoiler alert, it's a liquid breakfast, but it's not a boozy, it's not a boozy liquid breakfast, that's for sure. There's a great sandwich in there.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 I enjoyed it tremendously. There's the imminent threat of death from other podcasters.
That's all we'll say.

Speaker 3 Well, we understand that now that the big guns are out to get us because of our increasing success. It was a lovely episode, and I hope you enjoy it.
And here is what Anya Magliano did yesterday.

Speaker 3 Anya Magliano, welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday?

Speaker 2 Thank you so much for having me. What an honor.

Speaker 3 Do you think it's an honor? Have we got to that level? Would you say?

Speaker 2 It's an honor. Do you know anytime anything happens to me that makes me feel like I exist, I feel honoured.

Speaker 3 So like if a bus driver swears at you, that is. Yeah, yeah.
Okay, right. God, I'm real.
I'm real.

Speaker 3 The curiosity, just for the listeners, it does appear you're in quite a cramped space here.

Speaker 3 Possibly you're on a ship, and it'll be interesting to see if there are many maritime references.

Speaker 3 If you just like, oh, I have to go on deck after the, oops, like you're claiming you're not on a ship, but you think that maybe the accident I've made is I've left my camera on

Speaker 3 that, or when we go into your yesterday now, it's like, well, I got on a ship at 10 a.m. where I live.
And then people will be like, ha ha!

Speaker 3 Or I set sail to 30 degrees via the Tropic of Capricorn. Then we could smell a rat.
Absolutely.

Speaker 2 Oh, I wish that was what I did yesterday. That would be so.
See, now I'm doing the double bluff. I wish that was what I did yesterday.
That would be so much more interesting.

Speaker 3 Every guest we've had so far has been on a boat. And by the end of the episode, we have

Speaker 3 exposed them for what they are, the seafarer that they are.

Speaker 2 The sub-podcast is about exposing the maritime habits of people.

Speaker 3 Yeah, because we want to know if they're trying to conquer new lands, etc. We want to know where they're headed.

Speaker 3 We work that out from the clues and then we find that place, exploit the native people, and steal all the resources. That's the front for this podcast.

Speaker 2 Oh, wait, so you're the colonizers in this?

Speaker 3 I mean, I wouldn't put it like that, but basically, yes. Colonelizing weekly.
It's frowned upon by some people, but it's out of fashion for sure. It is, but everything comes back full circle.

Speaker 2 Everything does come back. It does feel like it could come back.

Speaker 3 It's the case with a lot of podcasts. Like, Parenting Hell seems like it's just about people asking about their kids, but then they steal children and sell them on the internet.

Speaker 3 There's always a darker thing.

Speaker 2 Yes, it was a front.

Speaker 3 It seems like just a loose idea.

Speaker 2 What's off-menu?

Speaker 3 Off-menu is how to kill people with food by sneaking poison into. You'll notice if you go back and look at all of the people who've been on off-menu, they're all dead now, with the exception

Speaker 3 of me.

Speaker 2 Yeah. And me.

Speaker 3 No, you are about to be knocked off. This is...

Speaker 2 That is a nightmare.

Speaker 3 If If you could do it in an hour and a half, it would be useful for because a guest didn't turn up last week, so we don't have a lot of slack in the system now. So if you could just hang on.

Speaker 2 I'll do my best.

Speaker 3 I'll hang on for dear life.

Speaker 3 Okay, let's get down to business, Sanya. When did you wake up yesterday?

Speaker 2 I woke up at,

Speaker 2 I'm going to give you, I would say, around 8.17 a.m.

Speaker 3 8.17.

Speaker 2 And I woke up raw, i.e. without an alarm clock.

Speaker 3 Got in.

Speaker 2 Okay, that's nice which i would say it was a bit of a treat because and i i'm sorry to already be pushing up against the premise of this podcast but two days ago the clocks changed they did oh wow this is

Speaker 3 an interesting does this mess with the format of our podcast max Well, we have to shift it back or an hour. So what did you do? Yeah.

Speaker 3 What did you do for most of yesterday and an hour of the day before? Is that what the pod is now?

Speaker 3 And then this gets really complicated if Anya, because she's on a ship, crosses the international date line and then yesterday becomes possibly either the day before yesterday or today

Speaker 3 depending on which way you're going across it like around the world in 80 days

Speaker 2 well i'm not on a ship so

Speaker 3 no that's what they all say

Speaker 3 throwing up from seasickness so 817 the clocks have gone hang on what is it because it's different for me because i'm in australia they've done the good way you're in australia yeah i'm in australia yeah just

Speaker 2 here we are talking about me being on a ship when the whole time you've been in Australia. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah. The way I remember the clocks is it's the Spice Girls lyric to become one.

Speaker 3 So 2 a.m. becomes 1 a.m.

Speaker 2 Oh, is that what they're talking about in the song?

Speaker 3 That song is about how

Speaker 3 Sporty was always feeling tired and always got confused, turned up to band practice late and stuff. So they wrote that song about it.

Speaker 2 That's a very sweet way to understand that song.

Speaker 2 It was like something your mum would tell you it was about when she didn't want you to know about sex so really this is 817 this is 917 in real life and so that is a late raw wake-up yeah yeah i think my body clock naturally like i love to sleep so i usually do have to set an alarm but i thought also and this is a spoiler alert knew i had like a work in progress show that evening i was like i need to get my sleep in in the morning because i'm not going to be able to go to sleep because I'll be wired at the end of the day.

Speaker 2 Just to sort of flash forward.

Speaker 3 Right, I see. Just for the tape, there are two people with strimmers outside.
They're from off-menu, coming to kill you later.

Speaker 3 If listeners can hear some strimmers in the background, that's why. So, okay, so it's 8.17.
Jay Caster and Gamble, a strimmer each.

Speaker 3 It does sound like, it sounds a bit like a gardening firm, doesn't it? More a posh law firm, I guess. Okay, anyway, 8.17.

Speaker 3 You're well slept, well rested. What do you do?

Speaker 2 So, me, I live with my boyfriend Will. And what we do is we open the door to our bedroom.
And then our two cats sort of scamper in and jump onto the bed. And they're very loving.

Speaker 2 So there's a boy and a girl. They're called Chicken and Rickin.
The girl is Chicken. The boy is Rickin.
Rickin sort of instantly jumps onto Will and like sits on his chest to kind of assert his

Speaker 2 dominance. And then Chicken sort of scampers around the bed and will like crawl up the back, sort of like a demon.

Speaker 3 Like,

Speaker 2 i don't know loads about demons but the way they sort of like crawl up and over the headboard she's doing that well it's important that you have cats because you can get rats on a ship

Speaker 3 absolutely yeah they need to just keep the vermin population down do you think ricken is

Speaker 3 angry that his name is clearly just there to rhyme with chicken

Speaker 2 i think it has sort of become part of his essence And that's why he needs to prove his dominance at all times, not to sort of therapize him too much. But in his essence, we've made him secondary.

Speaker 2 So now he's always clawing us and he's always jumping on us and threatening to make us walk the plank and all that sort of thing.

Speaker 3 So

Speaker 3 you've got to slowly get in there. Is Rickin in therapy or not yet?

Speaker 2 He's not, but I am. But I'm fine.
So most of my therapy is spent doing it for other people. Like a sort of, I'm trying to get a trickle-down effect into the rest of my life.

Speaker 3 The proxy therapy for Rickin. Okay, so this is a lovely scene.
The cats are pottering around. Yeah.
You know, they're doing that thing with their claws. So they go, one, two, one, two.

Speaker 3 And that's really sweet. Okay.
And you just let this happen for as long as you like. The whole day.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Have you guys gotten off from that?

Speaker 3 Thanks so much for your time.

Speaker 3 Richard Osman style.

Speaker 2 Do the cats throw themselves at the door in order to wake you up like is that I know we said we raw dog that wake up but was it chicken and rickin that caused it they do meow they kind of start screaming but I sleep with earplugs in eye mask on sometimes my head is in a hat to protect my curly hair not a top hat yes I mean there's so many questions about the hat yeah so if it's protecting the hair does it have to go it's like a big beehive it's sort of like I'll put my hair in like a ponytail on top of my head and then then the bonnet kind of goes over the top

Speaker 2 does it hold the hair in that kind of b52 kind of way i don't know but every time both of you have sort of done a gesture with your hands you're going i would say almost like triple the size of the head upwards like really really high i don't have that much hair it just sort of sits on top of your head like like a ponytail like this and then you put a sort of bonnet over the top to stop the ends going frizzy.

Speaker 3 So it does do something, do you reckon? Or have you been taken for a ride?

Speaker 2 Well, I love, I love marketing. Like I love to be marketed a product at me and I will buy it straight away.
So I think it does, but that's because the marketing has said it.

Speaker 2 It's better for your hair to be near silk, like a princess.

Speaker 3 So it's a silk bonnet. You have a silk bonnet.
Wow. Are you in the Klu Klux Klan?

Speaker 2 Oh, absolutely.

Speaker 3 Is it a pointy barnet? Do they sell silk goods? Do they sell for the really well-to-do? I don't know. Were you wearing the bonnet, you know, yesterday? Because if not, we don't care.

Speaker 2 Yes, absolutely.

Speaker 3 You're bonneted. Okay, so you every night.
So the cats come in, you de-bonnet, you take the mask off, you take the earplugs off, you're there, the cats are on you.

Speaker 2 I'm ready to lock in.

Speaker 3 Right. Now what's happening?

Speaker 2 So now I'm going to sort of, after about like five minutes of chilling out with them, I'm getting up and I'm going downstairs to make my selection of morning drinks.

Speaker 3 Oh, God. Let me just step in here.
Anya, you're a very modern person. You're the most modern person that I know.
Yes.

Speaker 3 You'd think you would be up there with your phone looking at the latest trends, seeing what's happened in Hollywood, you know, that sort of thing. What's Lily Allen been saying now?

Speaker 3 You don't seem to have done that. Is your phone even there?

Speaker 2 My phone isn't in the room. So what I will say, I absolutely spent probably about two hours of my day investigating what Lily Allen has been saying, but it came later.

Speaker 2 I've started sleeping with my phone outside of my room.

Speaker 2 I think what might surprise people about my day is that it actually, a lot of my time I'm spending dedicated to trying to be quite healthy, to try and live quite a healthy lifestyle.

Speaker 2 And I think especially yesterday was a day when I was really putting the effort in because, and again, naughty, but the day before I had a doctor's appointment.

Speaker 2 about some hormone tests because I have this thing called PCOS, which is polycystic ovarian syndrome, which is

Speaker 3 kind of hormonal yeah thing and so i had a meeting with a doctor where she was basically like you need to be more healthy on sunday so obviously monday i did everything got it like the absolute best i've ever done it in my life okay so this could be the healthiest episode we've ever had this exciting but also difficult to look at your phone when you have a giant you know the silk bonnet that both david and i picked us in like a giant silk bonnet and a mask and earplugs okay so we're downstairs and it's a selection of drinks this is exciting can david and i play how many drinks in the quiz absolutely yeah yeah david i'm gonna say

Speaker 3 four drinks okay because

Speaker 3 max do you want me to try and guess them i'm really happy for you to yes there's a coffee but probably just a black coffee

Speaker 3 maybe decaf if we're going really healthy so there's a water but anya is so modern it's probably like warm water you know what i mean something like that maybe with some lemon oh yeah yeah or an electrolyte could have an electrolyte that's my third drink okay yeah there and then the fourth is maybe vegetables, horrible vegetables that she has zhizhed.

Speaker 3 I mean, that would be the classic thing to do the day after the doctor would be for one day, zhizh up some goddamn parsley and spinach and drink it. What do you reckon?

Speaker 3 My only other thought is there might be like a sort of ginger shot. One of the drinks, because four drinks is a lot of liquid.
One is just a little shot of ginger and five. We'll go with five.

Speaker 3 Five drinks. You had five drinks.
Anya, talk us through. We've got the sideboard.
I want to the size of the cup. I want all the information.

Speaker 2 Wow. I feel so deeply understood by you both.
And also, I forgot I had a ginger shot. And then you reminded me.
I was like, oh, yeah, I had one of those as well.

Speaker 2 First drink I'm having.

Speaker 3 Scotch on the rug.

Speaker 2 It's a vodka tonic because I'm healthy.

Speaker 3 A Jaguar bomb. Straight in.

Speaker 2 Jaguar, and then a chaser of raw petrol. No, I have a hot water with fresh ginger.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Okay, okay. That's one point, I think.

Speaker 2 And then I have,

Speaker 2 I actually would have had a cold water with electrolytes, but I'm out of electrolytes at the moment. So God knows how I've made it to today, if we're being completely honest.
Then I have.

Speaker 3 Your pea, please say a liter of your pea.

Speaker 3 What?

Speaker 3 Some people drink their own pea.

Speaker 2 Oh, oh, sorry. I thought you were telling me, like, please say it, like, now for the edit.

Speaker 3 That's not, we never do that. I forgot what conversation we were having.

Speaker 3 No, we do pickups at the end where we get each of the guests to just say they drink their own piss and eat their own shit, and then we just put it in. It's really weird.

Speaker 3 All these guests are eating their excrement.

Speaker 3 So we've got the hot water with ginger.

Speaker 2 We've got cold water. I sometimes, did I have this yesterday? I think I maybe had it a bit later.
Well, no, I probably did have it straight away. A spear mint tea.

Speaker 3 Wow.

Speaker 2 This is another one of the things that I've heard is good for PCOS. You're right in no caffeine.
I don't have caffeine.

Speaker 2 What I do have instead, and there is, I think, no way you could have guessed this, is a ceremonial cacao drink.

Speaker 3 God, I hate myself. So what's the ceremony?

Speaker 2 So basically, I found out about this thing because I went to like a sort of yoga and like movement ceremony because I live in East London, so there's like this happening every around every corner.

Speaker 2 And at the beginning, they do a cacao ceremony, which is where they get like the raw cacao kind of unprocessed, it's not like sugary.

Speaker 3 Oh, it's like pallets, they look like shampoos, yeah, yes, yeah, kind of like and big blocks of it as well.

Speaker 2 And then they kind of mix it with like a coconut milk and a bit of pepper and salt, and you drink drink it and it's like really bitter but I can't remember what it's called but it's got something that like it acts a bit like caffeine but it's not it maybe is called like the Ombreen or something and it said it opens your heart right so I obviously am like love this yeah I did think it would taste more like hot chocolate I thought it would be a way to have hot chocolate in the morning like healthy it's not it's not it's bitter but now I've had it so what I do is I kind of prepare it oh god this is kind of embarrassing but I'm just I am going to prioritize being honest over cleaning.

Speaker 2 This is cool. So I prepare it.
I like chop the cacao, have it measure it, and then I have it.

Speaker 2 And then I sit down and I like think about what I want my day to be like or like what I want to sort of do at the start of my day. This is what I did yesterday, at least.

Speaker 2 And my thing that I wanted yesterday was just to have fun.

Speaker 3 Right.

Speaker 2 Was just to have a fun day, have a fun whip that evening. So then I kind of like think about that and then I drink it.

Speaker 3 Interruption. A, I think having fun is it's a message.
Do you like sit opposite the drinks and drink all the hot water and ginger and then the cold water?

Speaker 3 Because there's a lot of liquid and you don't want to be like sipping them all. What's the process of consuming all of these?

Speaker 2 So the process is the hot water with ginger gets made first and that's kind of being consumed on the go. I drink the ginger shot out of the fridge without even sitting down.

Speaker 2 That's just like vom one and done when I'm near the fridge. Then what I do is I take

Speaker 3 the

Speaker 2 cacao upstairs to where we are now at my desk and I would kind of have it at my desk or that was because then I went started writing. So it's kind of like I'm getting in the zone to do some writing.

Speaker 3 Got it. Okay.
I do think, what would my life be like if I didn't hugely consume a giant quantity of caffeine in the morning? You know what I mean?

Speaker 3 Does that because I've done it every day for 20 years, I would say as well. Have you ever tried this, Max? Have you ever tried what Anya's doing? No.

Speaker 3 I think if I, because I have small children, as soon as they wake up, all I'm thinking about is at one point I'll be in a cafe and that coffee is, that first sip is going to change my life.

Speaker 3 I couldn't possibly, but even before, yeah, I was sort of, I'm probably habitually addicted. I wouldn't say addicted, but I habitually, I am.
Definitely. That's a big part of my day.
It's coffee time.

Speaker 2 Let me tell you, I am tired all the time.

Speaker 2 I am exhausted. Like, it does

Speaker 2 sort of, wow, they're really going for it straight.

Speaker 3 They're getting closer. I mean,

Speaker 3 that's James. Oh, yeah.
I can doubt.

Speaker 2 My cats are clawing at the door. I might just quickly open the door so

Speaker 3 they can take on the streamers. You'll see that.
Rickin'. Oh, yeah.
Get in here.

Speaker 3 Oh, wow. White cat.

Speaker 2 This is chicken.

Speaker 3 Hi, chicken. Chicken? Okay, cats are great.

Speaker 2 On a podcast.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Well done, chicken.
Are they fully indoor or do they ever go out?

Speaker 2 They're indoor because I had a cat before who was an outdoor sort of mongrel cat and he sadly got hit by a car.

Speaker 2 So then I was like, from now on, I'm only getting fancy indoor cats so that I won't feel like

Speaker 2 it feels like a new kind of thing. Yeah.
If that makes sense.

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Speaker 3 Are you worried that when the off-menu guys break in, they will take Rickin out as well? Because, like, a white cat being strimmered to death. I know

Speaker 3 Halloween, you know, is around the corner, but that's an awful thought.

Speaker 2 I think Ed quite likes cats. I think Ed might, and actually, James, James has cats.
They both have cats, don't they?

Speaker 3 Maybe it's a front.

Speaker 2 You think it's a front for actually their overall mission, which is not only poisoning people, but also

Speaker 3 killing cats. Yeah, it'll come out soon.
Okay, so you're at your desk. We've had the cacao ceremony.

Speaker 3 I mean, I presume you must need a weed pretty soon, but is there any food is it just a liquid morning for now

Speaker 2 because this is only i would say this is all happening within half an hour of waking up okay got it for now no but so what i do is i i sit down and then i write on my i have a sort of like a tablet thing almost like there's like writing on paper called the remarkable which i got for free because i knew someone who didn't want theirs and i love it and i basically write free

Speaker 2 i do free writing for three pages worth oh yeah which is something that's in the artist's way which I've never managed to do properly like I've always kind of dropped off I've started to do it and not but it's like this kind of if anyone doesn't know it's like a kind of creativity book that like teaches you how to get back in touch with your creativity and the one thing that I've always took from it is that those she suggests you do three she calls them the morning pages and you basically write train of thought for three pages as soon as you can in the morning so do that who wrote the artists way it is let me just check it out she's behind julia cameron right max does a football column for the guardian and he just free writes it straight off the top and they just they'll be like oh do you remember uh footballers used to have long sleeve jerseys uh long sleeve that reminds me you know what i mean like it's i do that yeah and sometimes it's just like i wish i hadn't drawn that late i occasionally just quite often don't write anything about football it's just about how tired I am and then the editors are like, could you maybe put some football in this?

Speaker 3 Okay, so you happy with the pages that you write there? Yeah, okay.

Speaker 2 Well, do you know what?

Speaker 2 Yesterday, because I think because my brain woke up kind of like knowing that I had to do comedy that night, I basically wrote stand-up for like three pages, which you're not actually like in the original artist way.

Speaker 2 I think she kind of says, Don't go back and read them, they're literally just like word vomit to get out of your head. But I was going back because I was like, Some of this stuff is gold.

Speaker 3 You read back, it's just like women take a long time to get ready. Like, it's just the most basic 90s stand-up comedy.
Airplane food.

Speaker 3 And I'm crying with laughter.

Speaker 2 I'm banging on my desk.

Speaker 3 I'm like, wow, I'm a genius. Mars bars are smaller, aren't they? Than they used to be.
Good stuff.

Speaker 2 Just one page of slurs that you can't say anymore.

Speaker 3 It's just big letters. You can't say anything these days.
Done. Done them pages again.

Speaker 3 So we have following the three pages of Get the Brain Started. Yeah.
Do you start writing your thriller straight after that?

Speaker 2 After that, I go have breakfast.

Speaker 3 Oh, wow. Five breakfasts?

Speaker 2 Five eggs.

Speaker 2 No, sorry, three whole eggs and then around, I'm hoping around two egg whites because I have egg whites in a carton. Because once again, I'm on my health protein journey.

Speaker 2 Because one of the things with PCOS that they say is that you have to have more protein as part of your diet. So, like, but I find that really hard.
It doesn't come naturally to me.

Speaker 2 I was vegetarian for most of my life what did I have I had this egg situation with

Speaker 3 some smell interruption no one ever says situation in a good meal do they like it's never I'm an awful cook it just tastes bad but I have to like shovel it down and eggs are like a thing that I think texturally five is too many yeah you cannot have that Joanne McNally had five eggs she had six I think oh well that's why she's a pro yeah so hang on is the carton of egg whites is that something you've made yourself or you can buy a carton of egg whites?

Speaker 2 You can buy that from like the ridiculous shops near me, like Planet Organic sort of stuff. Got it.

Speaker 3 Got it. And do they have a tiny bottle of egg yolks next to it in a kind of like...

Speaker 2 No, where do all the egg yolks go? That's such a good question.

Speaker 3 Eggnog. They make it all into bowls, advocate at Christmas.

Speaker 2 That's beautiful. It's kind of like a symbiotic, like...
Everyone goes off on their own special journey if you're an egg.

Speaker 3 Once I found something called ready egg, which was a bottle of an egg, and it was all the goodness of an egg without the hassle of the shell and it was just in a bottle and I was really pleased with how lazy and I liked the idea of ready ready egg where they just pour it into your hands where it's all the goodness of ready egg without the hassle of the bottle

Speaker 3 really good okay so you get three normal eggs and then you pour in two whites worth of eggs out of the carton it's quite hard to get that right you might have had yeah I would pour in more egg.

Speaker 3 I don't know how much egg is.

Speaker 2 I'm having probably 20 eggs.

Speaker 3 And then, because Anya's so modern, she consumes it by vaping. It takes ages to vape.

Speaker 2 Yeah, because I have to pour it, all of that into the vape cartridge. And it's quite a small cartridge.
So you sort of, well, actually, I decant it into a jar and then I funnel that in.

Speaker 3 Your bonnet is big enough that you could pour all the egg in and

Speaker 3 get more than one use of it. Okay, so sorry.
Explain the plate to us.

Speaker 2 So the plate is, so that's scrambled with a bit of some leftover smoked salmon, smoked tomatoes, some cucumbers, and some kind of like, I think I put trives on there. Okay.

Speaker 2 I don't really like herbs, but I kind of am trying.

Speaker 2 I think you have to to be an adult. So

Speaker 2 but like parsley and coriander, I think fuck off.

Speaker 3 That's interesting. Yeah, but mint.
Mint's good.

Speaker 2 Mint is straight up.

Speaker 3 I think mint is way too overpowering. You know, I understand that coriander tastes different to different people and I love that.

Speaker 3 Parsley, I agree, seems needless, but I like the idea of foods that sort of define you as an adult that you can't, because I have very basic food needs and you know I try and get on board with fish but and all my friends mock me relentlessly for only getting as far as cod.

Speaker 3 I'm going to rank my herbs fine. Mint at the top, but not spearmint because I bought a spearmint plant recently.
It really dominates too much.

Speaker 3 While I think it could be fine in tea, the thing that you had earlier, if you try and hide some of it in a salad or whatever, just to bring a little jequois, you're just like, this is spearmint bullshit.

Speaker 3 Rego mint. Which was a worse gentleman's club, wasn't it? Spearmint bullshit.

Speaker 3 Why was it called spearmint rhino? Do spearmint rhinos still exist? What's the reference there for lap dancing and spearmint rhinos? Minty rhinos.

Speaker 2 I don't know. Is the like the tusk of the rhino sort of the pole? Symbolic of a pole to be danced upon?

Speaker 3 Or the willy you will get. G Girects.
What experiment then?

Speaker 2 She has nice breath.

Speaker 3 Like, let's pick another. If it was called the Basil Hippo, you know what I mean? I don't think you'd be like, then maybe after the pub, we'll all go to the Chive

Speaker 3 Gnu or whatever.

Speaker 3 Something like a health food cafe.

Speaker 3 That sounds great. That sounds like where I want to go.
The Chive Canoe.

Speaker 3 That's the name of the ship I'm on.

Speaker 3 I can't believe I'm barred from Dill Bison. This is disaster.
What happened? You've only given us your top one herb. I'm happy with that.

Speaker 2 And it's both mint.

Speaker 2 You bring the mint within

Speaker 3 different kinds of mint. Look, we can move on.
We've got a lifetime of this podcast, David. I'm happy with mint.

Speaker 3 Okay. Over the course of the next couple of years, I will give you a rundown of my ever-changing pop parade of herbs.

Speaker 2 Can I say one thing on herbs? Which is, I just want to bring to the forefront a group of marginalized people, which I'm a part of, which is people who eat coriander.

Speaker 2 It doesn't taste of soap, but we still don't like it. I'm just

Speaker 2 thinking, oh, you don't like coriander is because it tastes of soap. No, it tastes of coriander, and that tastes shit.
That's all I'll be saying on the matter.

Speaker 3 Okay. Look, it's noted, and we'll put it in the show notes and we'll make your feelings known around the world.
This podcast is brought to you by Coriander.

Speaker 3 So we eat this plate and we sort of enjoy it, but we don't really is sort of.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's a bit of a chore.

Speaker 3 It's a chore, you're getting through it. And now where are we headed?

Speaker 2 Back upstairs to do some more writing.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 2 I was kind of like putting, I have a kind of Google Doc of the routines in my show that are sort of like kind of ready-ish, like sort of like, I know they're probably going to be in it, but I'm still editing them and they're kind of in one document, but then I'm like moving them into a new document that I'm making specifically specifically for the show yesterday.

Speaker 2 So I know what order I'm going to do them in. Right.

Speaker 3 So, what a big moment for the ones that make it-the cut and pasted ones. Yeah, and the other ones are just like left there going, Oh, please take me across.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 You're like, Look, Mars Bar is getting smaller. You've been a great bit, and I foresee you in another show, but right now, I'm going with the Luzon Airlines, have too many different sorts of napkins.

Speaker 3 Yeah, can I have that? I need that.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so I'm kind of moving stuff across. And then I was doing an edit because

Speaker 2 I was kind of going back through my routines that I, because I did a whip in Edinburgh work in progress show.

Speaker 2 And so like, I kind of had, I don't know if you find this, but like material that's just kind of stayed the same. And then I kind of have forgot to edit it.

Speaker 2 So yesterday I was really making myself go through and be like, okay, this joke, I know something's missing. Like, what do I need to add here?

Speaker 2 So I was, I was like, yesterday I worked so hard it was crazy like right i think this is going to give people a really skewed impression of me as sort of like a healthy head-down academic like tomorrow i'm just i'm seeing friends all dead this is very much one day but it is yesterday and this is how it works is how it works do you find sometimes when you're trying when you find a bit that there's something in it Are you capable of sitting at a desk and figuring out the answer?

Speaker 3 Or do you need to just be like, something's needed there?

Speaker 2 And then you go off and live your life and you record a crazy voice memo at half 10 that night it's definitely the mix yeah well do you know what i think i had so many ideas yesterday because i'd had the weekend off i hadn't gigged at the weekend right i had had two days of completely no comedy yeah had done lots of other stuff been for a walk played football like had a really like active time and i think like you say like my subconscious just kind of did a lot of work over the weekend and then on monday i was like okay here it is i I would say that's like if I need to come up with something but if I'm fixing a joke I'm usually like looking at it and then I can just sort of see what beat of it is missing and add that in so I think it kind of depends on the task I believe some mathematicians of the very high level do believe that they do a lot of work in their sleep using unaccessed parts of the brain to crunch the numbers.

Speaker 3 Max, as a mathematician, have you ever, do you do that sometimes? If you've got a theorem and you're trying to prove it?

Speaker 3 And this is one of the issues that I didn't get a good night's sleep before my further maths A level, and that's why I got a D.

Speaker 3 And we don't talk about it. It just fell off the CV because otherwise it looked on paper, looked good, but that was just, that was a step too far.

Speaker 3 So was that the advanced, so there's regular maths and then there's a super mega nerd? Yeah, this was super mega nerd maths, and I just never got around to it.

Speaker 2 Fair enough. I mean, who needs to know that? It's sort of really none of our business.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I think you're absolutely right.

Speaker 3 There was too many letters. Honestly, there were too many letters.
There were not enough numbers and too many. Once you get to that level of maths, it's all letters.

Speaker 2 Oh, and you're like, that's what I was getting away from in the first place.

Speaker 3 Maths numbers, English letters. That's what I understood.
And I just didn't, yeah, it was all too much. Okay, so this is productive.
You are sort of, this feels like you're a detective. Yes.

Speaker 3 You're like Miss Marple and Columbo all in one, just going, I've made this gag great. I've made this gag great.

Speaker 2 I think sometimes I feel a bit like, I can feel a bit like that's wrong or something because I think you also have these people, David.

Speaker 2 I don't know which one you are who can just kind of write on stage in fully formed sort of ideas and stuff.

Speaker 2 But when I'm on stage, I'm I can't access unless I'm like having loads of fun and feeling really, really relaxed, then I can improv stuff, but I can't improv like a whole routine.

Speaker 2 Like I need to kind of know what I'm going to say before.

Speaker 3 O'Brien says he does it all on stage and he just goes out there and all of the tiles magically fall fall into a perfect tower.

Speaker 2 Wow, that makes me feel like a fraud for sure.

Speaker 3 But he does electrocute his dog. So

Speaker 3 he specifically told me the last time I saw him that he didn't like how we always mention on this podcast that he electrocuted his dog. He does not electrocute his dog.

Speaker 3 He simply had an untrained dog, gave it to a trainer, and then the dog arrived back, a fully trained dog.

Speaker 3 And that trainer was Rowdy Roddy Piper, which is a reference that won't work for people who didn't watch wrestling in the 90s, but he had a cattle prop.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I laughed just because it was a funny name. I didn't know what it meant.

Speaker 3 I have a question. I have a serious question about comedy, which is when you fixed your gag, are you there going, I know that works before you've actually gone and done the gag?

Speaker 3 Because you say, well, I fixed this joke now. Are you just so confident then you've done it there? You go, well, this will work now.
I've done it.

Speaker 2 I wouldn't say I'm so confident, but it's almost like a kind of gut instinct or like an understanding of, like, okay, that feels like a good rhythm.

Speaker 2 So maybe that's more likely to work, but ultimately I will have to test it.

Speaker 2 But there are some bits that I also think, like, I don't know if you have this, David, but I'm like, I think that would be so fun to say that I'll just have fun doing it and then the audience will probably enjoy it as well.

Speaker 3 Sure, yeah, yeah. When do you hope to have a do you have a date when this opens as a show?

Speaker 2 Oh gosh, the cat's just really waiting.

Speaker 3 Oh, Castro's come in.

Speaker 3 Gamble's in. He's in with the strimmer.

Speaker 2 The cats have gone down to protect me, but they are going to be the first to go.

Speaker 3 Sorry, can we just investigate this? The Strimmer would be an awful instrument to try and murder someone with.

Speaker 2 Oh, God, because it would be so slow.

Speaker 3 Very, but incredibly neat. Death by a million, not even cuts, just mild abrasions is what it would be like.

Speaker 2 Oh, awful. That really sends me heebie-jeebies.
So hang on, what just happened?

Speaker 3 The cat just knocked lots of things off the table, is that?

Speaker 2 The cats just ran from one one side of the room to the other and knocked a bunch of stuff, but now they're back. They're just having fun.
That's kind of the next section is that I'm just doing bands.

Speaker 3 When's it have to be ready for?

Speaker 2 Oh, when's it up to be ready for? In February. I'm doing a tour that starts in February.
It's called Peach Fuzz.

Speaker 2 You can get tickets from anniamagliano.com, etc.

Speaker 2 February onwards. I guess February for the rest of my life, I'll be touring.
Yeah. Great.
Or maybe not even then if I get murdered at the end of this podcast.

Speaker 2 If I get murdered at the end of this podcast, don't buy a ticket.

Speaker 3 That's very honest.

Speaker 3 How long do you work on this for?

Speaker 2 Well, this is the longest I've ever worked on a show because I'm not doing it in the cycle of the Edinburgh fringe because I was

Speaker 2 usually I would just go end of one fringe to beginning of next fringe. But this year I wanted to try doing a work in progress at the fringe instead.

Speaker 2 So I think it's going to have been maybe like a year and a bit.

Speaker 3 Yeah. How long are you sitting at the desk specifically?

Speaker 2 Two hours overall, right?

Speaker 3 Two hours. Okay, so then where are we? We're sort of nearing lunchtime, but you've had quite a big plate of eggs, so I don't know what your stomach is feeling.

Speaker 2 So, lunchtime, I come downstairs. Will is having a leftover roast dinner sandwich.

Speaker 3 Great. Oh, wow.
Well done, Will.

Speaker 2 So I have a bite of his sandwich, and then I made myself a similar sandwich. Great.
And what is it?

Speaker 3 Chicken?

Speaker 2 It's chicken. It's potatoes.
It's parsnips. It's gravy.
It's mayonnaise. It's bread.

Speaker 3 That's not a sandwich. That's simply a dinner betwixt bread.
Now, I don't know where one ends and the other begins, but I'm not having it.

Speaker 2 What's your problem?

Speaker 3 Is it with the bread?

Speaker 3 What's your problem, David? It was putting potatoes into bread.

Speaker 2 You have a problem with that? Seriously?

Speaker 3 Well, I get

Speaker 3 how you can just put anything on bread. That's fine.
That's called on bread or betwixt bread, but it's not a sandwich as the Earl of Sandwich intended sandwiches to be.

Speaker 2 Right. So you're quite traditionalist and sort of worried about what the Earl would think.

Speaker 3 I just reckon the Earl of Sandwich, I reckon in those days, anything goes. I reckon there were more potatoes in sandwiches then than now.

Speaker 2 He was fucking his cousins, probably.

Speaker 3 Probably.

Speaker 3 Oh, my goodness. He's definitely dead, isn't he?

Speaker 2 Oh, you think he might be listening, or you might want him as a guest?

Speaker 3 Odds are, odds are, he's dead. Yeah.
The sandwich has probably been around for a good while.

Speaker 3 Like, it wasn't like, you know, because I am older than you, that I remember the day when, you know, in 1979, when my dad was like, you got to try one of these things.

Speaker 3 You know, we'd all just been eating cheese and lettuce just in two big fistfuls.

Speaker 3 And then he read in the paper that the Earl of Sandwich had invented this and popped it between two delicious pieces of bread. Well, I've just checked.

Speaker 3 The Earl of Sandwich, he invented the sandwich, if it's true, in 1762. So I haven't checked if he's still with us, but I've got a feeling that even if we did get him on the pod, he'd be quite doddery.

Speaker 3 Wouldn't it be one of those after the record where you're like, yeah, maybe we should have just not said yes.

Speaker 3 Do you think he'd be one of those guys who he wouldn't even talk about the day he invented the sandwich either? We'd keep trying to get him on to us.

Speaker 2 He would struggle with the Zoom setup for sure. He would not know about quake time.

Speaker 3 Go to cool settings, Earl. Okay, I think this is a brilliant sandwich.
So, like, have you sliced the potatoes small? Have you done everything or you just literally chucked it in?

Speaker 2 Right, chugged it in, squashed it down, shoved it down.

Speaker 3 What are we on? A white bloomer? Are you in East London? It's probably on a sourdough of some sort.

Speaker 2 I think it was a spelt sourdough. Yes, okay.

Speaker 3 Could I get some bread where the crusts are like glass, please?

Speaker 3 Oh, I've lost another three teeth with this sandwich.

Speaker 3 It's not even a sandwich because it's spuds in bread.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but also, I'm trying to be gluten-free again because of PCOS stuff. So that was, I think, why we ended up getting that bread, but I think it probably has gluten in it anyway.

Speaker 2 And also, this is the thing. I was trying to be so healthy, but I was like, at lunch, I've got to have a bit of fun with it.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I've done about one day, one half day of being healthy, so I get a treat.

Speaker 3 That's such a great sandwich. Is there bread sauce in there? I've missed that bit.
Just gravy. No, the gravy.
Gravy and milk. Oh, come on.

Speaker 3 Have you heated all of it in the microwave? Have you put it like? No, it's all cold. Is the gravy cold? Yeah.
Oh, no, that's not right. What, really?

Speaker 3 I think you've got to warm the gravy. No.
Because cold gravy is quite like a sort of, then it's sort of like a pate, isn't it?

Speaker 2 It's not that thick, this gravy.

Speaker 3 All right, it's thin, cold. I don't know if that's even worse.
When the Earl of Gravy invented gravy,

Speaker 3 he said, this should always be heated up.

Speaker 2 Well, I'm the Earl of having a good time and I'm leaving it cold.

Speaker 3 I'd have warmed it up, but I'm with you and toasted the bread. I'd have had it all.
But like, people are different, and that's what makes the world such a beautiful place. Exactly.

Speaker 3 Thoroughly recommend your sandwich. I never judge.
That's one of the things about me. You'll never see me with a little gavel

Speaker 3 and a curly wig on.

Speaker 3 However.

Speaker 3 Anya, you've eaten a fucking huge quantity of food so far in this day. You've You've eaten a hen house of eggs.
You've had five drinks, some of which are basically soup.

Speaker 3 And now you're effectively having a Sunday roast for your lunch.

Speaker 2 Yes, I'm a growing girl.

Speaker 2 I love it. Actually, it's not that much because, oh, I guess maybe I should have said the eggs, I would say, they almost come straight back out.
toilet-wise.

Speaker 3 Ah, great.

Speaker 3 Interesting. I wonder if the cacao propels them from the premises.

Speaker 2 I think the cacao definitely says I'm here to stay and anyone else who comes in, be prepared to be kicked out straight away. I can tell you what I do whilst I consume the sandwich.
Yes.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 2 Now we're getting into it. This is where I'm spending some time reading about Lily Allen and David Harbour's split.
Oh, right. Okay, right.

Speaker 2 I'm listening to the Lily Allen new album as I'm making the food. And then I'm like reading the articles, which are basically just saying everything that's ill in the album.

Speaker 2 But I'm sort of combing through to check that I haven't missed any references or anything. So, hang on.

Speaker 3 When David, you said, What's happened to Lily? I mean, was that an educated guess about Lily Allen?

Speaker 3 I thought Lily Allen hadn't been in the news for about 20 years, but actually, she has been in the news and she's got an album out. That was pressing of you, David.

Speaker 3 No, to me, this demonstrates the fact that you just look at the Guardian and you're like, Well, that's what's going on in the world, and you don't consume as much social reels, etc.

Speaker 3 I mean, I'm talking like I'm your 17-year-old daughter here, but Lily Allen is very much in the news, Mags.

Speaker 3 She has written some songs that chronicle, is the word I'm going to use, the collapse of a relationship. And now people, because there's so many clues in it, are working out exactly what happened.

Speaker 3 Is that fair enough, Anya?

Speaker 2 That's fair enough, but I would say clues is generous. She doesn't use a single metaphor.
It's all so explicit.

Speaker 2 It's all like, there's literally a lyric being like, I found loads of lube in your in your apartment in a bag of butt plugs.

Speaker 2 Like, it's great because I'm the sort of person who would usually try and work out clues from musicians' albums to be like, what's gone on in their life? Who have they broken up with?

Speaker 2 Whereas she's like, he cheated on me in this way, in this way, in this way. These are the ways he broke my trust.

Speaker 2 And I think I read in a Guardian article that she's like, yes, I've taken some inspiration from my life.

Speaker 3 You have to say that Columbo would never be like, play that song and I'll see if I can get any clues from it.

Speaker 3 A bag of plugs in another apartment. That sounds to me a lot like this guy was having an affair.
Right. And is her partner also a musician? Or is he, you know, just...
He's an actor. Oh, right.

Speaker 2 He's in Stranger.

Speaker 3 He could chronicle it through. verse or like he could do a one-man show.
I was thinking if he was, you know, an accountant, he'd just have to try and release a really sort of

Speaker 3 lucid spreadsheet as a sort of comeback.

Speaker 3 It's true. Some occupations,

Speaker 3 and I'm probably not the first to say this, lend themselves more to dishing the dirt on someone than, say, if you worked in Tesco, it would be harder to do that.

Speaker 2 If I worked in Tesco, I would just be telling everyone who came to check out.

Speaker 3 That's a bad thing. Or you could get on the PA, couldn't you? You could be like, Dave Tile 2.
And by the way, Thomas is a rat and he got it on with Siobhan.

Speaker 2 There was a guy who I saw on TikTok, like a guy who worked at Sainsbury's or Tesco or something and went over the PA and was like, hello, everyone.

Speaker 2 Just letting you know this supermarket says it uses fair trade, like meat, but all the meat is from blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 2 And he just like says it over the PA and just the security guard comes and he's like, and I quit and just takes off his jacket.

Speaker 3 It is so baller.

Speaker 3 Here, let me make one of my observations. You can put this in your show, Anya.
Thank God. In the past, there used to be more supermarket announcements.
Am I wrong to say that?

Speaker 3 My childhood seems to be a lot more bing-bong. You know, it'd be like, check out Kumquats in aisle three,

Speaker 3 but it would also be, we have found like adverts. Well, there would be that.

Speaker 3 And then there would also be like, we have found, you know, a I reckon this supermarket is struggling if they go and check out kumquats in aisle three.

Speaker 3 I think.

Speaker 2 Kumquats are struggling as well

Speaker 3 we have found a bag of blood plugs in aisle three that belong to lily allen's ex

Speaker 2 yeah i think you're right or maybe but i was also thinking now i usually go to the supermarket with my headphones in because it can be such a rabid place yeah that maybe i'm missing some of them but some i think co-op has its own radio station.

Speaker 2 I remember at uni I live nearest to co-op and I remember thinking, this is the dream. They are playing some banging tunes to get to be the co-op radio host.
What a life!

Speaker 3 I might end up there, you know. I like DJ, yeah.

Speaker 3 I could go back into you know, because I did start, you know, I did a bit of a you know, easy listening on Radio Cambridgeshire before, you know, heading to talk sports, so I could go back there going, yo, you're coming up three days before the weekend.

Speaker 3 Hope you're looking forward to a great time, whatever you're up to. And I'm just eating a jazz apple, a jazz apple, which is uh $4.99 for school.

Speaker 3 $4.99. Speaking of jazz, exactly.
Here's Bruno Mars. I know it's not jazz.

Speaker 3 Come on, let's come up radio. It's not going to be Brad Meldow.
That's perfect.

Speaker 3 I'm hiring you for that.

Speaker 3 What I really wanted from that was he does this jazz apples thing and he goes, Speaking of jazz, the partner of the late tenor saxophonist, John Coltrane, Alice Coltrane, released some of the most difficult to listen to music of the 20th century.

Speaker 3 Here's a 12-minute track called Earth/slash Freedom.

Speaker 3 And then you get called into the production manager's, you know, the head of the station's office going, this won't, we can't play this on a Tuesday afternoon in co-op.

Speaker 3 They'll be going to budgeons before you know it.

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Speaker 3 Okay, where are we? So, oh, but see, we spent the whole time listening to Liliana's album, listening about it.

Speaker 2 Reading about it.

Speaker 3 Reading about it. Oh, you know what? Listen to it.
You're just reading about it.

Speaker 2 I'm doing a bit of both. I'm kind of like putting it on and then reading it.
And then I think I'm back to my laptop to do a bit more work whilst my food digests, at which point I'm going to the gym.

Speaker 3 Okay, yep, because you haven't been on deck all day. Thus far, you've been entirely in the

Speaker 3 cabin or in the cabin.

Speaker 2 In the cabins. I've been in the cabin.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 You have yet to pull the rigging, but here we go. We're about to.

Speaker 2 Also, I would say maybe something that you might not have picked up on, but up until this point, I'm in my pajamas that whole time.

Speaker 3 Oh, wow. This is exciting.
That may be the latest to get dressed of all the series that we've done. Congratulations.

Speaker 3 What a bleak.

Speaker 2 What a bleak title to win.

Speaker 3 But someone has to win it. You're right.
Okay, so we go straight from pajamas to gym kit. Where are we headed?

Speaker 2 To this gym nearby me. It's kind of like a budget gym, so it has quite like a manic energy, I would say.
It's like always a lot going on. They've got like every TV.
It's like bright lights. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, okay. But I've just got a little routine that I do.
I go to like, they kind kind of have a studio where they would do classes usually.

Speaker 2 And I just go and sort of tuck myself in there and go through this workout routine that I got from a woman who's like a, she's not like a personal trainer, I guess, in that I don't see her very often, but she's like a, I guess she's like, maybe she kind of is that, but I just see her like once every few months and she's like, okay,

Speaker 2 now do this.

Speaker 3 She could just be anyone, right? Do you meet her at?

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, she's basically down an alleyway.

Speaker 2 And I pay her in

Speaker 3 beans.

Speaker 2 I pay her in services.

Speaker 3 Here's how broken my brain is by showbiz.

Speaker 3 When you said a little routine the first time, I thought you were going to do a gig in the gym, which would be one of the worst places to try out new material. Oh my god, that would be awful.

Speaker 2 That's genuinely an anxiety dream, isn't it?

Speaker 3 Yeah, it is. Because I'm imagining people on those sort of stair climber type machines.
Let me hear you on the treadmills.

Speaker 2 All with their headphones in.

Speaker 3 There used to be a lot more, and that was in supermarkets. You keep going.
Get your heart rate up to 150. What's your routine? What's your routine?

Speaker 2 Well, it basically, I guess she looked at my body and was like, this is the areas that you're weak. So I'm doing stuff to strengthen my feet.

Speaker 3 Like the arches of my feet are very weak.

Speaker 2 I have very flat feet. So I have to, she gets me to put like a resistance band between my toes and then kind of move my toes separately, which is so hard.

Speaker 2 Like she can move each of her individual toes one at a time. Isn't that hurt?

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's everybody listening is doing that, right? This is really fun to think how many people are just going, I can do my little one. There's no need.
There's no need for that, really.

Speaker 2 The middle three are like, who the hell are they? I have no connection to them.

Speaker 3 Do you know what I mean? It's like, who are you guys? And so what, if you can, like, bench 80 kilos with your middle toe, that's good for your arches.

Speaker 2 I think that's good, yeah, and for longevity or something.

Speaker 3 On a sweet sort of mouse gym that you've got this tiny little gym for little toes. That's super sweet.
And are they getting ripped?

Speaker 2 I think I'm getting stronger in my feet, and they're definitely seeing some sort of six-packs come through.

Speaker 3 Imagine if they'd had a really elongated version of naked attraction, and so it wasn't just like your bottom half, your top half face. It was like every bit.

Speaker 3 And you started with the feet, and you were on it, and it came up, and you had like the most muscly feet, like really hench feet. And everyone was like, lost their mind.

Speaker 2 Everyone taps out straight away.

Speaker 3 They're like, no way.

Speaker 2 So I do a bit of that. I do a bit of just like ab core kind of stuff.
Some kind of like dead, not deadlifts, like good mornings. Is that what they're called? Something like that.

Speaker 2 I could basically just have, I know it in my brain.

Speaker 3 Say good morning to everyone.

Speaker 3 I think that's a great workout.

Speaker 2 It's a good workout for your politeness and for your sense of humility, actually, David.

Speaker 3 Also, like, granted, it won't go down as badly as a stand-up routine in a gym, but it's not far off.

Speaker 3 You know, nobody in a gym will say, Morning, fuck this person. Just walking around.
When the Earl of Workout invented gyms, then he would definitely go around doffing his little top hat to everyone.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so I kind of do that. I listen.
I don't have, the problem is, is that I listen to music, but I don't have like a go-to playlist.

Speaker 2 So I'm always spending a lot of time like trying to queue up the right songs instead of actually doing exercise.

Speaker 3 So you're trying to find motivation. You're going, I need more for this toe workout.
I put on Heather Smalls Proud, and suddenly I'm like,

Speaker 3 for the hero inside yourself. That one, is that proud? No, proud is

Speaker 3 today to make you feel proud. Honestly, go for a walk and say that you feel 10 feet tall.

Speaker 3 Exactly.

Speaker 2 It was in the Olympic 2020-12 campaign.

Speaker 3 So please tell us a good motivational song that we and the listeners can listen to in order to get hench.

Speaker 2 I listen to, I don't know what your demographic is, so I don't know how this will go down, but va-va-vum by Nikki Minaj.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah, okay, fine. Our demographic is the coolest people.
Does that one go?

Speaker 2 It goes,

Speaker 2 I don't even know what the lyrics are, but it goes,

Speaker 3 yeah. I only know Nikki Minaj from tweeting about the COVID vaccine.
It was a really good one. She said,

Speaker 3 my cousin in Trinidad won't get the vaccine because his friend got it and became impotent. His testicles became swollen.
His friend was weeks away from getting married.

Speaker 3 Now the girl called off the wedding. So just pray on it and make sure you're comfortable with your decision, not bullied.
So there we are. So I think that's a great point.

Speaker 2 So I'm happy to endorse her music publicly.

Speaker 3 Vavavavum for me was Thierry Henri, the Arsenal striker, used to do ads for Renault.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 And he would tell you that these cars had the Vavavum.

Speaker 3 I hope it's Nikki Minaj featuring Thierry Henry

Speaker 3 and

Speaker 3 that's her swollen testicles cousin.

Speaker 3 She occasionally just bongos on his mighty plums.

Speaker 3 He's there crying because the wedding's been called off.

Speaker 3 Okay, great.

Speaker 2 How long do we work out for i would say maybe like 45 minutes not too long yeah quite chill with it what are we up to now what time probably that was about 3 p.m great so now i'm going home i'm showering and i'm washing my hair which is a bit of an ordeal like well it's not an ordeal i just love doing like for me it's a way of really feeling like i'm back Because it takes quite a long time to wash my hair because it's kind of long and curly.

Speaker 2 And I have sometimes I have a few different processes like i have like a scalp mask or like a scalp scrub to like remove build up and it feels so nice and satisfying to scrub it out your hair so i do that i leave that on for five minutes then i shampoo then i condition then i'm brushing it through and then i dry it which takes about 20 minutes as well so it's quite actually like it's probably like an hour of hair oh how long just something that the listeners may not know is that anya also lives in a ship but when she's on land, she lives in a tower and is waiting for someone to rescue her by lowering this incredibly textured hair down and hoping that they climb up.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and the guy who rescued me most recently was a pirate, so that's a nightmare.

Speaker 2 Oh, no. That's a nightmare.
He's a pirate now. I'm on a ship.
And that, I would say, that's kind of like, I actually would go so far as to say that's like a bit of self-care.

Speaker 2 Like, washing my hair makes me feel like, okay, I can go on in front of an audience tonight and feel a bit more like fresh for it. And it takes so long.

Speaker 2 And I love, always love buying new hair products. And it's like my vice, it's like the vanity of the hair.

Speaker 3 So, how many bottles are there in the shower? And do you have like a favorite?

Speaker 3 It's a bit like the breakfast liquids, I guess. You've got your scrub that you begin with, and then we go just to what an your average panten shampoo, or maybe something better.

Speaker 2 No, no, no, godly, godly, you.

Speaker 3 Oh, God. Okay.
My body.

Speaker 2 There's two different shampoos that I choose from. One is like more of a deep cleanse, which is, I think the brand is called Kinky Curly.

Speaker 2 And then I also have, I'm experimenting with a different, it's called Curly Hair Bath. And I think that's from Owe.

Speaker 2 But I kind of switched between them two.

Speaker 3 Yesterday, were you looking at both going, which would it be? And which did you go for?

Speaker 2 Yesterday, I kind of thought my hair feels, I hadn't washed it for a while. while I'd played football at the weekend.
So I was like, I think it needs a deep clean. Got it.

Speaker 2 You know, if you play football and Astro there's like bits of AstroTurf in my head and stuff.

Speaker 3 I know it so well. In fact, the other problem of playing football on AstroTurf is I once believed there was a mouse infestation in the house because there were little tiny mouse poos everywhere.

Speaker 3 And it was, in fact, the little black rubbery things. Yeah.
Yeah. Luckily, I didn't get the mouse man out.
I don't enjoy a mouse.

Speaker 2 You didn't get him out. Oh, it was in like to come out.
I thought you meant like he was in your cupboard.

Speaker 3 Well, David is doing so well. He has, for pest control, he has a selection of men in different cupboards.
Depending on woodworm, is very rarely comes out.

Speaker 3 Just you never know when you might, when you might need them. Okay, so this is lovely.
I agree with you. I mean, I don't ever shower for that long, but it sounds great.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I would imagine your showers are the most functional showers, Max, of anyone in the world.

Speaker 3 I would imagine you've the like most basic shampoo, just like something called like Clinic Sport with mint tingle.

Speaker 2 Five in one.

Speaker 3 Obviously, 100 in one. I use whatever Jamie's got.
I basically just use the shampoo to clean my whole body and my hair.

Speaker 3 Quite often, there's like a baby in a small bath in front of me, and I just do it when I can. If I get five minutes, I'm pretty happy.
But yeah, I'll just shampoo my whole body.

Speaker 3 Question for the floor. As three avid footballers, do you ever forget to wash your legs sometimes, get out of the shower, and see that they're covered in absolute filth from the game?

Speaker 2 I have done that.

Speaker 2 I think since I did that once, I was like, this cannot pass. And so now I'm a bit more on it with washing my legs.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Oh, yeah, of course.

Speaker 2 Disgusting, grubby little leggies.

Speaker 2 So then I'm drying my hair and then I print out my notes.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, a huge part of the morning was that I couldn't, I bought this fancy printer because I was like, I'm a modern woman. I should own my own printer.

Speaker 2 But then I lost the charger because it was wireless.

Speaker 3 And so then, but then my boyfriend, and this, this is what they're for, boyfriends, figured out that you could charge the printer from the tv cable wow yeah he's a man's man that is a man's man isn't it i wouldn't know that i was like guess this we're in this for life now because basically a proposal no i think i'm with you like for about 10 years when i lived in my flat in old street i lived next door to the photographer Martin Parr.

Speaker 3 And I obviously had no idea who this guy was, but he's like incredibly famous. It was like his office.
He lived in Bristol, but there were always people there.

Speaker 3 So they did my printing for about 10 years. And now Frank and Janet over the road do my printing.
And actually, I had a printer in London. I just couldn't connect it to the Wi-Fi.
Yeah, of course.

Speaker 3 Do you go to Frank and Janet, who are an older couple,

Speaker 3 with a memory stick or something and try and get them to no, you just email

Speaker 3 you just send an email say, could you print this out for me, please? That God outrageous. It's maybe one page a quarter.
I mean, it's probably over a year. It might be four pages.

Speaker 2 Every quarter on the dot, first there, the quarter there.

Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Power on the printer.

Speaker 2 So I print it out, and then

Speaker 2 I have a quick, oh no, then I have dinner, which is leftover cabbage soup that I made last night, which does make me sound like I'm in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

Speaker 3 I mean, that is a real bleak meeting. I mean, it might be lovely, but it sounds bleak.

Speaker 2 It's not as bleak. Yeah, it's sort of like a minestrone.
I made it like a minestrone.

Speaker 2 like sort of tomatoy cabbage is just the bulk of it again something that i read helped with pcos because that's how anything weird in this just know it's probably because of PCOS.

Speaker 2 Yeah, because I'm weird, I'm normal. Yeah, then I have a 20-minute nap.

Speaker 3 Hang on, just on the soup, have you like creme-freshed it out a bit? Nope. Okay, it's sort of just a cabbage broth.

Speaker 2 Cabbage, tomatoes, shallots,

Speaker 3 beans,

Speaker 2 cannellini beans,

Speaker 2 chopped tomatoes, sweet potato,

Speaker 2 and I think that might be it.

Speaker 3 Observation, David. Virtually every ingredient you've just said there is absolute fart dynamite.

Speaker 3 Like, oh my God,

Speaker 3 this gig, you're going to have to constantly be going off stage and just.

Speaker 2 I'm going to blow the roof off.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Nothing to do with the audience.

Speaker 3 Are you foreshadowing something that's going to happen later? Will you do a 40-minute fart on stage?

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's the kind of punchline to the whole show.

Speaker 2 So I'm bringing back this old style of comedy about our wives and our parts and you know yeah it wasn't actually weirdly i didn't get bloated until after the gig okay i was actually okay

Speaker 3 but it is quite a dangerous meal but i just read that i had to eat more cabbage so i was like well cabbage soup you had christmas dinner for lunch i mean that's not you know there are no sprouts in that so can we talk about the nap i mean i'm a massive nap fan i love them so much 20 minutes is and i've read about it 20 minutes is going to be good i mean i like an hour long as i can take that's too long.

Speaker 3 20 is the prime. Okay.

Speaker 2 I had 20 minutes just because that was the amount of time that I could have.

Speaker 3 Right. And were you just down like a light out and done?

Speaker 2 No, no.

Speaker 2 Usually I'm awake for them. I had to do these YouTube videos where they like yoga nidra.

Speaker 2 Do you know about that? It's kind of like a guided body scan where you like imagine all your body relaxing sort of over 20 minutes.

Speaker 2 Because I can't do it unguided because my brain goes too sort of fast.

Speaker 2 So I do this guided video, but yesterday I fell asleep like straight away. I think I must have been really tired.

Speaker 3 If you were to do that when it gets to your feet, then it's just like, think about your enormous buff toes, and then you just like they just smash through the shoes you're wearing.

Speaker 3 Sort of like the start of the Incredible Hulk, but just for your shoes. Exactly, exactly.

Speaker 2 And I really need to learn how to relax them because otherwise they will sort of bash through the floorboards and bash through the doors, etc.

Speaker 3 Do you wake up naturally, or have you set an alarm for that?

Speaker 2 I think I woke up naturally. Actually, I set an emergency alarm, but I didn't need it.
Okay. And then I left

Speaker 3 the gig. And quite often, right after a nap, you feel the worst you've ever felt.

Speaker 2 God, I felt like I'd been run over.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay. So hang on.
Because you've left something out here, I have you going off to a gig entirely in the nude, maybe with just a little bit of cabbage soup, just that's dripped.

Speaker 3 Just a bonnet. Just a bonnet.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'm trying something new.

Speaker 2 nude when did i get dressed i guess after the shower when i when i wash my hair i'm putting on my little outfit do all your outfits are they all stand-upable

Speaker 2 or would you dress accordingly if you have a gig i dress accordingly i kind of i would like to have a kind of special outfit for each show like just to kind of get me into the headspace of that show i haven't got that yet but i have a kind of generic gig outfit that makes me feel like i'm sort of ready to go and i'm kind of in this phase of yeah making sure I do it putting on a bit of makeup like feeling like I'm about to go on stage because I definitely do feel the difference I went through a long phase of wearing anything and not putting any makeup on and looking like shit yeah and I thought it's not fair on these paying ticket holders but I like to feel like this is an occasion like yeah I'm ready to kind of perform so I put a bit of extra time into that now more probably more than I would have done like a year ago where are we headed yeah where are we going?

Speaker 2 We're headed to Always Be Comedy in Kennington.

Speaker 3 Got it.

Speaker 2 It's a nice gig.

Speaker 3 How are we getting there? We're getting to the northern line at some point.

Speaker 2 We're going Bethnal Green Station to Bank, changing at bank down the escalators. I didn't even walk down the travelator.
I walked down the middle.

Speaker 2 Because I was like, I've just got to power through. And I was listening to some, I was probably listening to Nicki Minaj again.
So I was like, I'm strutting.

Speaker 2 Same song, because I just listened to one song, really. Like, I'll have one song for like a month.
Baba Voom. Yeah, and this month is Baba Voom.

Speaker 3 This is exciting. Okay.
My brain is so broken by doing the comedy that I've been doing for 25 years.

Speaker 3 My thought always hearing people on the tube or on public transport is, but it's a bit annoying because you've got your little keyboard in your sports bag. So, you know, when you're getting it down.

Speaker 3 So you touch your little keyboard, you'd send it up to the venue beforehand.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and I have my trombone and stuff, but they're very flat-packed. They're like a Brompton bike, so it doesn't take up too much space.

Speaker 2 And so it's quite a nice journey, obviously. I couldn't get the ship to pull up the Thames.

Speaker 3 Nice. Thank you for bringing that back in.
Lovely. My pleasure.
Is this a solo annual gig, or is it paired with someone else?

Speaker 2 Just me. The idea is that I get there, I do the show, I go home, like no faff.
The fans, thousands of fans outside have remained silent, are we these tickets?

Speaker 2 No, so it had sold out, which is very nice. And it was a really, really nice audience.
Like when they were walking in, I was like, oh, I think this will be okay.

Speaker 2 There's lots of nice, nice looking people.

Speaker 3 Why were you watching them through a curtain?

Speaker 2 There's no curtain. You just stand behind the bar.
And it does mean that sometimes people try and order drinks from you.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 2 And you say, you're going to be so embarrassed in about five minutes.

Speaker 2 But I'm going to be more embarrassed for the rest of my life.

Speaker 3 Okay, so you get there in good time.

Speaker 3 You've got plenty of time.

Speaker 2 Get there with like half an hour to go, chat to Tim, who's running it, go to the loo,

Speaker 2 get my notes ready, just kind of faffing, but productive faffing. Got it.

Speaker 3 That's the loudest the Strimmer has been.

Speaker 3 Texas Strimmer Massacre is a much less potentially scary movie. It's so long.
It's so long.

Speaker 2 If I die on camera and on audio, will that be in the the main episode or in a sort of Patreon?

Speaker 3 Do you think?

Speaker 3 Here's what we'll do because we record an intro, outro. It'll be like, and something extraordinary does happen during this episode, Max.
You know what I mean? We won't make it too sad. Cool.

Speaker 3 We'll just at the end we'll go, and obviously our thoughts are with your friends and family.

Speaker 3 And I'll be like, and I have taken the dates that she had booked in venues for Peach Fuzz, and I will be performing at those venues now. Tickets at david at arty.com.

Speaker 2 Oh, it's exactly what she would have wanted.

Speaker 3 So what time are we on stage?

Speaker 2 8 p.m.

Speaker 3 8 o'clock. Okay, so you're there, half seven, just a bit of faffing, and then straight on.
How long is the gig?

Speaker 2 I think I did an hour and seven.

Speaker 3 Wow. New bits, any of the new bits that you wrote this morning, do they work? And is that when you clench your fists? Yes.

Speaker 2 Yeah, some of them do work. Some of them don't.
But overall, I definitely felt positive. I was like, this feels good.
This feels in the right direction.

Speaker 2 There was one bit that I really hoped would work, and it worked well enough to justify keep working on it.

Speaker 3 Really?

Speaker 2 You clench your fist after every punchline. I'm going, yes.

Speaker 3 Wimbledon style. You turn to your coaches who are in like a box and just yes,

Speaker 3 they nod in Eastern European style.

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 2 my director was there watching as well. So sometimes I could hear him laugh and I thought, yes.

Speaker 3 Yes. Well,

Speaker 3 great.

Speaker 2 do we go for a debrief afterwards then you and not a massive Steven Spielberg Anya's director is Steven Spielberg I was gonna say I was on question for who is like does everyone have a director what's that for I don't know if everyone does I have always worked with the director my director this year is a guy called John Brittain who's great who I guess I find it very useful to have someone an outside eye.

Speaker 2 I think not everyone needs it, but I have always found something very helpful in other people throwing stuff into the mix when you get a bit in the thick of it. And he's great.

Speaker 2 I mean, he also gives me like, it's not just kind of a bigger picture, it's like joke suggestions and stuff.

Speaker 3 So Max, he directed famously Wild, Wild West with Will Smith.

Speaker 3 And his main thing is he wants a giant mechanical spider in everything that he ever does. So while his suggestions are useful, a lot of them are he's alluding towards putting a huge mechanical spider.

Speaker 2 Right. So yeah, he was giving me a lot of notes notes about webs and stuff yesterday.
So, I guess that's what he was probably building towards when I meet him today.

Speaker 3 And does he say, I like how you came on the stage, but could you say, wiki wah wah?

Speaker 3 That would be that's just my notes for the show.

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Speaker 3 Have a great day. You don't hang around at all.
Hey, you've done 907 straight on the tube?

Speaker 2 No, we chat for like 15 minutes, kind of vague outlines, and then we arrange to meet today,

Speaker 2 i.e.,

Speaker 2 tomorrow to go through the notes properly and then i hop on the tube do you record the show and do you listen back to it on the tube and write down oh no it's not no i'm done okay i record it i have they send a video of it to me i'm like i need to stop thinking about work now got it listen to nicky minaj listen to nicky minaj on the way back no i actually listened to the taskmaster podcast on the way back to find out what other people been saying about me on it any good stuff?

Speaker 3 Any bad stuff?

Speaker 2 I was listening to Maisie Adam complain about some of the points that I was awarded, but I was happy to be the bigger person and let it slide and also not let it slide by bringing it up here on a new podcast.

Speaker 3 That was quite nice.

Speaker 2 And then there's a step that will surprise you from when I get home before the time I go to bed.

Speaker 3 Right. I'm looking forward to this.

Speaker 2 When I get home, I see there are some packages at my door, which I'm excited about because they are the ingredients for my Halloween costume.

Speaker 2 So I spend a quick sort of 20 minutes before I go to bed starting to make my Halloween costume.

Speaker 3 David, do you want to have a guess what the outfit is?

Speaker 2 I don't think you're going to guess it. Can I let me give you a clue in that it's not a classic Halloween costume and I'm doing it as a pair with my partner?

Speaker 3 The Chuckle Brothers.

Speaker 2 No, it's more abstract.

Speaker 3 Hail and Pace. They are more abstract.
Okay.

Speaker 3 Dick and Dom. Dick and Dom.

Speaker 2 No, it's not people.

Speaker 3 Lisa and Bart.

Speaker 2 No, still not people.

Speaker 3 They're still people. Point us in a direction.
Give us a little clue.

Speaker 2 I'm pointing up.

Speaker 3 It's pointing up. You're going as God.

Speaker 3 The couple from the film up.

Speaker 3 The old man who and the woman who dies.

Speaker 2 No, still not people.

Speaker 3 The clue for the listeners, you pointed upwards. The Blessed Virgin Mary.
and Joseph. Well, hang on, hang on.
Are like a couple of old serial kidders living in the flat above you. Is that a little AI?

Speaker 3 Sorry, I forgot. In the cabin, Max.
In the cabin above. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
How close are we? Are we quite far away? So God was the closest.

Speaker 2 God was kind of the closest, but I mean it kind of in terms of like people who are dead.

Speaker 3 They're in hell. Are you going as a rain cloud? That's in the sky.
Closer. Oh, the sun and the moon.
Yes. Whoa!

Speaker 3 That's pretty good.

Speaker 2 That was impressive. I don't know how I felt like we were doing that for about five hours, but I think you

Speaker 3 why the sun and the moon?

Speaker 2 I don't know. We just kind of came up with it as an idea and we're like, that would be quite fun.
I think we didn't want to spend loads of money on costumes. Yeah.

Speaker 3 And I like crafting.

Speaker 2 And I thought you could make a fun sort of headdress to be like sun and moon, probably quite easily. So that's the stuff I ordered that arrived: was stuff to make right.

Speaker 3 So are you going as the sun and it's all glittery? And he's just going to moon every time he sees someone. He's just going to turn around and whip his cap.

Speaker 2 I'm actually the moon, so I will be taking that idea.

Speaker 2 Because my hair is red, I think it could be a sort of blood moon.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah, the sick signs. The Halloween costumes in Ireland this year will be heavily influenced by we just had a presidential election,

Speaker 3 and there were some fascinating curveball characters. Like there was a very religious woman who failed to get on the ballot and did a press conference complaining about that.

Speaker 3 And she had in her hand a handbag that those who knew about handbags identified as a 12 and a half grand Hermes handbag. Wow.

Speaker 3 So a guy I know yesterday made one of those handbags out of breakfast cereal boxes. Like it's quite a square thing and painted it the perfect colour.
Oh, that's great.

Speaker 3 That's why Sense is going to be a lot of kind of failed presidential nominee

Speaker 2 costumes. That's really fun.
I think making it is really fun. That's like the fun part rather than just getting like a cheap one off Amazon.
It's fun to actually make it.

Speaker 3 Couldn't agree more. Absolutely.
I don't have a plan yet. I dressed as Kevin McLeod one year from Grand Design.
That's good. Yeah, but he doesn't really have a thing.
I just wore a leather jacket

Speaker 3 and shaved.

Speaker 2 That could be so many people. You're also Danny Zucco.

Speaker 3 Just anyone in a who's ever... Jeremy Clarkson.
Just anyone who's ever worn a leather jacket. Okay, so we look at this for 20 minutes.
We don't try anything. You're crafting this, so you sort of yeah.

Speaker 2 So basically, what I was doing is I was I had these hairbands that like go over your head, like you know, those plastic ones that go like an Alice band, I think they're called.

Speaker 2 And I was getting cable ties and tying them round so that they kind of come off it like that,

Speaker 2 like a sort of

Speaker 2 a bit like a Virgin Mary kind of halo. And then the plan is to spray paint that silver and sort of add some stuff to it, pearls and whatever.

Speaker 3 Cable ties are also good if to stop magpies magpies attacking cyclists around here quite often have them in their helmets oh really coming out so the magpies can't attack so my cats did attack it so that's good to know that like outside they'll help with magpies but inside the cats love it and they just kept jumping on my head hang on do magpies attack cyclists in melbourne yeah yeah yeah yeah what what do they want they want your head i think because i don't have cable ties on my helmet and when i see them i think come on that's a bit silly mate and i suspect everybody doesn't put cable ties on until they're attacked by a magpie

Speaker 3 so what we hope is I'm attacked by a magpie the day before it's one of our my midweek episodes because that would be good

Speaker 3 yeah it would be good yeah

Speaker 3 so I'll keep it cable tie free okay so we look at this that's 20 minutes so now it must be what it must be near what 11 o'clock or something yeah now it's bedtime now it's

Speaker 2 getting into bed brushing the teeth any ceremonial drinks or anything to calm you down I have a kind of sleepy drink.

Speaker 3 Fentanyl. Is it a big pint of fentanyl?

Speaker 2 Yes, this man, a very kind man, is giving it to me.

Speaker 3 It's a bottle and a half of Malbeck. And that is.

Speaker 2 It's some like supplement type drink that is meant to make you sleepy with like lavender or whatever in it and magnesium. Magnesium, that's it.
It's mostly magnesium.

Speaker 3 Oh, who else was on the magnesium?

Speaker 3 Chris McCausland. He swears by it.

Speaker 3 yeah i think it does work i think it does work i need to do this i need to do this there aren't many things from our these great interviews we've done max where i have taken that information into my own life afterwards i have to admit that to you well no i i do now because i keep getting reels of that guy that looks like me telling people how to wash their clothes who's on this morning alexander van tugentot

Speaker 3 third duke of holland or something i now wash our clothes clothes at naught degrees on a very low spin, and then Jamie goes and puts them back in the washing machine because they smell

Speaker 3 pointless. That was a John Robbins conversation about what's the optimum temperature and spin at the same time.
But magnesium, it's possible I will try magnesium.

Speaker 3 Have any of the listeners have any experience with magnesium? Please let us know. And do you go straight to bed? I read.

Speaker 2 I read for about 20 minutes.

Speaker 2 I'm reading a book called The Haunting of Hill House, which I got as a kind of, I haven't ever done this before, but I thought, what if I get a scary book in time for Halloween?

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 So I'm reading like a haunted house book.

Speaker 2 But I'm really scared. No, it's not even got to the scary bit yet, but I'm just scared of what might happen.
And obviously. It's the worst time to read it is right before you go to bed.

Speaker 2 So I'm winding myself right back up.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I'm in fight or flight as I go to bed, just like, oh yeah,

Speaker 3 awful, awful stuff. I've never felt the need to, I've been on ghost trains, I have never chosen to watch a horror movie, though.
I just don't feel I need that in my life.

Speaker 3 There's enough of that in IRL. I don't want to be scared.
Yeah. Yeah, I don't want to be scared.

Speaker 2 Neither do I usually. Like, I don't know what about, I was just in a bookshop with my friend, very funny comedian, Ed Knight, and he was like, this is a great book.
And I thought, you know what?

Speaker 2 I'm trying to embrace the seasons more and kind of enjoy the fact that it's autumn and whatever so I'll just get it but I do think there's a chance I might abandon it if it gets too scary because I'm not going to push through that so ironic that the we've had this conversation and yet as this podcast ends you get strimmered to death by the host of our menu then

Speaker 3 and they definitely do sound like they're here like it sounds like yeah they're in they're strimming the front door down that's added some real jeopardy to the episode but look we sort of reached the end and you're still alive so for our purposes it's now totally fine if you get killed.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but it makes it even more sad.

Speaker 3 It's almost like Blair Witch, where you don't see the witch then doing whatever to the people with the camcorders, but you know that that's definitely what happened afterwards.

Speaker 2 But it will be good Halloween episode. Is that when this comes out?

Speaker 3 It will be spooky. I just don't know if it's appropriate where to celebrate your life.
It's like, welcome to today's spooktacular episode featuring the late great

Speaker 3 and yeah.

Speaker 3 Oh God.

Speaker 2 No, you have my full permission. You have my full permission.

Speaker 3 Thanks so much. It's good to get that in the camera.
Do you go straight to sleep or do you replay the day?

Speaker 3 Do you do the thing where you go through all of the joints in your body and ask them all how they're doing?

Speaker 2 I think, do you know, I probably replayed the day

Speaker 2 to think about this.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. I'm only awake.
I fall asleep within 10 minutes because of the lack of caffeine.

Speaker 2 Like, I fall asleep so much quicker now because I used to be awake for like hours, whereas now it's just 10 minutes and then I'm gone.

Speaker 2 So, I think I probably thought a little bit about that. I thought a little bit about the show, but it was quite quickly off.

Speaker 2 And then I had a dream that someone,

Speaker 2 I was at like a really rowdy theater production and someone threw piss at my mum. So then I spat on them.

Speaker 3 It's a classic dream.

Speaker 2 What do you think that means?

Speaker 3 It means that

Speaker 3 you just shouldn't go to anything. Don't go to any productions.

Speaker 2 Shit, I'm literally going to a production tomorrow.

Speaker 3 With your mum?

Speaker 2 No, but so I guess they could throw their piss really far.

Speaker 3 It's Fatima Whitred and Steve Backley who can throw their piss absolute miles.

Speaker 3 Anya, thank you very much for sharing your yesterday with us.

Speaker 2 Thank you for sharing my yesterday.

Speaker 3 So there was the day. Now, the thing is, at the time of recording, it seems like Acaster and Gamble did not get into the house, even though they got close.
Yeah. She lives to fight another day.

Speaker 3 As this podcast is the center of the known universe, we'll have to see if they did nobble her. And if so, rest in peace, Anya, and thank you for doing this as your last podcast.

Speaker 3 Yeah, maybe we'll play it. I'll go to the because I know her better than you.
I'll go to the funeral and instead of a eulogy, I'll play the whole. I think that's a good idea.

Speaker 3 And I couldn't go because,

Speaker 3 like, it's a long way. Like, even some of my good friends, I'd have to be like, I can't make it.
I know, but here's where it'll get weird if A Caster and Gamble are in the

Speaker 3 congregation for the funeral because the police haven't done the full case yet. But in playing the whole podcast at the funeral, suddenly everyone realizes who has trimmed her to death.

Speaker 3 I thought Anya was the first, was the most methodical

Speaker 3 of like how I work as a comedian, like treating it like a job and doing it like this is what I'm doing. Yeah.
I found that quite interesting.

Speaker 3 A few of your mates are a bit wishy-washy about it, you know, like she is like, this is it. I'm doing this.
I'm sitting down. I'm doing it.

Speaker 3 But like a proper job, like taking it seriously, yeah, yeah, like O'Brien, for example, he had a work in progress that night. What a waster, what a total waster that guy.

Speaker 3 Yeah, he just brought his recently electrocuted dog out for a walk. The dog has a sort of spiky hair like Morrissey and smoke coming off it.
Every time it sees a plug,

Speaker 3 if you'd like to get in touch with the podcast, here is how.

Speaker 3 To get in touch with the show, you can email us at whatdidyedo yesterdaypod at gmail.com. Follow us on Instagram at yesterdaypod.

Speaker 3 And please subscribe and leave a review if you liked it on your preferred podcast platform. And if you didn't, please don't.

Speaker 3 Hey, thanks, David. I had a nice time.
Again. Thanks, Anya.
Thanks to the listeners for listening. Let's do it again.
Let's do it again. Let's do it again.

Speaker 3 Once a week for this one and once a week for our other one where we sort of analyze this one. Let's do it for the rest of our lives.
Let's do it for the rest of our lives. I'm in it for life.

Speaker 2 Thanks, Max.