Aruba w/ Mike Vecchione | You Be Trippin' w/ Ari Shaffir

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Now, this will be my second special.

So, how many hours?

That's what we should be saying, right?

Four.

Four hours.

Yeah, because, like, the CD was the thing.

And now these, these kids, no offense, are like

they like.

I remember Sagalog, like, I'm making an album, and then I go, wow, I may as well record it on, like, iPhones.

And he goes, I guess it's also a special.

That's how easy they are.

Yeah, yeah.

It's easy.

I mean,

the way the clubs tape you now,

like, you could just do a special at a club and it's like basically got you.

Remember Laugh button where they could be like, it was at Acme, it was at Madison, it was whatever.

Like, if you want us to hit the button, we're in Minneapolis.

If you want us to hit the record button, we can make you an album.

Let us know.

And you're like, yeah, okay.

Like, Georgia Bucks, though.

And you're like, what?

200 bucks.

All right.

Well, I got to,

I don't know if it's going to go well.

Yeah, yeah, depends.

Can I make the decision afterwards?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, but the video, it's like you'd be stupid not to do a video now.

It's like, well, I don't want to go through all that.

I just want the sound exchange money.

It's like, no, I mean, do the video,

clip it up.

I could see Stanhope doing that, like an audio-only one.

Yeah, I could see him going.

Well, I mean, that's what podcasting is now.

I bought audio equipment to do a podcast, and they're like, do not do a podcast without video.

Yeah.

It's crazy.

I made a big decision to do video.

My other one, Skeptic Tank, R.I.P.,

and I was like, all right, I'm going to get that started.

And then COVID hit.

But I just started video.

And then it was like, oh, yeah, everyone's doing it now.

Like, fuck.

Yeah, Burt was like, oh, dude, you're going to be one of the few video guys.

You're going to really explode.

Yeah.

Everything's video now.

Where you been and where you going?

This is Ari's travel show.

Yeah, we're going to talk about travel today.

It's you'll be tripping.

Yeah.

Okay, this will be interesting.

Yeah, I just saw one of those fucking pictures from Zion.

It was us on a hill.

Us on a hill, us on a, we did a rest stop.

We stayed in the, we stayed in the coolest house you could possibly I mean, I wish I had more pictures of the house.

I think they had that Indian drum, and I was like doing I videotaped myself doing the drumming, videotaped, like I'm from the 80s.

I videoed myself doing the drums, and then we all slept in these

bunk beds.

There was like bunk beds in a couple rooms.

It was me.

You slept in the bunk bed one?

Yeah.

It was me, you,

Joe, and Sarah.

But we had just come from Vegas because we all went to Vegas.

It was me, you, Mark,

Joe.

Oh, yeah, me, you, Mark, Joe, Gary

in Vegas.

And then Norman.

Me, you, Mark, Joe,

me, you, Mark, Joe, Gary.

Yeah, and we were just going to be a little bit more than that.

It was for the final, it was for the basketball tournament.

We realized that

you could get Estee to send all of us.

Yes.

I was like, we'll do the gig.

Can we choose our group?

Yeah.

She was like, I don't see why not.

Like, yes.

Yeah.

Because we have this from La Joya comedy store.

That's like, that was like, they sent you to san diego you stayed at a condo on the beach

oh it's like always la has to have it first

is that what it is like popular well it was like when in lay when we did it originally it's like ari can't we just have anything when was this when was the zion thing do you remember

it was before covid yeah i want to say 18 19

18 17 maybe

I don't know.

I was eating a lot because my face was fat in every picture.

I want to see 18 or 17.

I want to see what this was.

See if I have any pictures of it.

I mean, I have it, but I would have to disrupt my.

Your album.

My album.

I put an album together.

Hold on.

I want to see this.

But it was.

That was such a fun trip because the Vegas thing was really fun.

We watched basketball during the day.

Those of us who gambled, gambled on the.

We went just to gamble.

Just to gamble, do the shows, gamble.

And then I remember a year later, I was on the group text and I said, hey, let's do it again.

And no one responded to me.

And then like a month later, you responded.

And he's like, and you were laughing at me.

You go, haha, no one responded to this.

Not even your own girlfriend.

So

that was very fun, too.

It was so fun.

Here we go.

Here we go.

Zion.

So we went right from gambling in Vegas, and I saw pictures from the mob museum.

Just me and you went to the mob museum.

That rule, somebody just brought that up the other other day.

Yeah, I was like, oh, yeah, me and Beckyone went.

Because on the way back, I guess we had an extra day or something.

We had an extra day, yeah.

So we went to the mob meeting.

Just me and you.

I think this is the house.

Ah, this was the house during dinner.

We went to the grocery store and got food for dinner.

It was unbelievable.

It was such a great house.

And the guy was such a great guy, wasn't it?

Yeah, the guy was cool.

Look at Joe List.

Joe's thin.

It looks like

you took away Joe's fat and put it in your face.

You saw him.

You took Joe's dinner.

Hell, you left it with that.

God, he looks so lean and I look so, my face looks just inflated.

It was before his baby weight.

And look at that nose on the left.

It was coming in your nose.

Just your nose protruding in.

That was accidental, bro.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, the guy was like, I was like, hey, I'm looking for a place.

It was in Zion.

But it was specifically for artists to get away and to relax their minds so that they could create.

I remember you saying that.

Yeah, I said, I was like, oh, it's a little out of our price range.

He goes, well, what are you?

What are you like?

We're comedians from New York.

We're just looking to get away.

He goes, oh, buddy, I built this house for you.

Yeah.

So I'm going to cut off some price because you actually should be here.

And great.

There's eight rooms and you're going to use three of them.

So I'll cut off a lot of price.

You should come.

And it was like, okay.

That's awesome.

Yeah.

There's drums.

Let's see if we can find.

Let's see what else is here.

Yeah, bro.

Yes.

There it is.

Hey, Sarah had the funniest joke maybe I've ever heard on any vacation.

We were were up in this in this area oh my god

oh my god i'm no lead singer no effects geez oh man

and uh that's a great shot that's so great of uh you and sarah i we were up

it was this overlook area and um Sarah was walking around.

We did a video.

And the video, I put the video on and she's walking around.

She's going, have you seen my daughter?

Have you seen my daughter?

Have you seen my daughter?

And I was like, oh, oh my God, no.

And she's like, it's okay.

I have a son.

That is so great.

Sarah is so funny.

That's so funny.

It's so great.

Wait, is this it?

I mean, don't show us.

No, that's the next place I stayed.

Yeah, but that place was.

It was so cool.

You have bongo drums and crystals everywhere.

It's nice to see your pictures versus my pictures.

That's all of them?

That's all I had?

No, that's crazy.

I had a bunch of us because we went to rest stops stops and we

obviously ate, at least I did.

And

no, this wasn't.

It was before COVID.

This is from a separate album.

So I don't know when they were, but what a time.

What a fun trip.

God.

Anyway, but that's not what we're doing today.

That's not what we're doing today.

Today we're doing where?

Where are we going today?

Aruba.

A nice dude.

I fucking love this.

Hold on.

I brought an outfit for this.

You brought an outfit?

Yeah.

You tripping.

Do I get something if I say the name of the podcast?

On the

oh my god.

That's what they do in every

movie.

Peter Griffin do that.

I like the part when they say the movie.

Can you?

We say the name of the podcast.

We get something.

Something happens.

Slime.

The slime drop.

That's off camera.

All right.

All right.

Aruba.

Aruba.

Oh, I still have those.

Really?

Yeah.

From what?

Our friend, our friend's wife, I don't want to mention her name on a public podcast.

Yeah.

But she bought those for us when we were in another location.

Nice house.

Yes, it was a nice house.

And

she was like, do you guys need anything from the store?

And it's like, we don't have any footwear.

And she bought those for us.

And I still have mine.

I still have have mine too it's better than the ones that i originally had with the leather inside or whatever

cloth you remember the old ones where it was just like a plastic

plastic and they just cut the shit out of your tail the one that crucifies your own feet the jesus sandal yeah those things are unbelievable so shout out to her shout out to her her

did i went to chappelle's um movie screening at Mass Square Garden a while ago.

And then there's a singer named her playing, and everyone went nuts.

And I was like, going to Makala.

I was like, who's this?

She goes, you're old.

All right.

I embrace it.

I am old.

Yeah.

So, Aruba, that you have a specific relationship with this place.

I love it.

And I would be remiss because let me start out by having to shout out my friend who has a comedy club there.

We got him.

Aruba Ray.

We got him.

Aruba Ray.

He started his own comedy club.

He wanted to get out of New York.

He's mostly hosting at the cellar.

You know, that's where,

that's what he mostly does in New York.

And

he

went to Aruba.

He loved it so much that he built a comedy club there.

He got a comedy club.

And he's been in several hotels, but.

What do you mean he shifted to two different hotels?

Yeah, he was in one hotel.

I don't know all the names of the hotels, but he was like in one hotel.

And then

they couldn't do it because they needed their conference room or whatever.

So he shifted to another hotel.

We were in the Marriott for a while.

And then there was some problem there or an issue with them

wanting the space.

So we moved to the Holiday Inn and then and then.

But he's had it in different locations, but he went there.

He thought it was such a beautiful place.

He loved it.

And as a result, he

put this comedy club together.

And what he does is he takes mostly New York City comics

and he brings them in and has them do shows to to tourists who are coming to Aruba.

And then he got the nickname Arubare.

Arubare.

So he was just going there for vacation a lot before?

Yes.

Well, he was going, he went there and he just kind of, it's one of those things where he fell in love with it.

And he was like, I should, I want to be here.

Like, New York winter is brutal.

It's, it's, like, I want to do something here.

And he's like, has such an entrepreneurial mind, that guy, where it's like, he went down there and started, you know, it took a lot of work to put it together.

And pre-COVID, he was like packing his room.

He would get in the hotels and

he was like, he really believed in it in terms of like, these people who come down here on vacation have to see all of the great New York City comics that I know.

So it's like he would bring all the New York City comics down there and then,

you know, go to the hotels and bring these people in.

And they were like, oh my God, I can't believe this is happening.

It's like, yeah.

And he put it together.

He stayed.

Yes.

And he put together these shows.

I think that's how it started.

And

would he stay

all winter?

He does it six months out of the year.

Yeah, all winter.

And

that's how he started it.

And I remember

I knew him.

I met him at the comic strip.

And he was at the cellar.

He had just started it.

And I think

he was bringing down originally three guys, just three guys,

because he knew they would do a good job or whatever.

That's the thing, too.

You're like, can you bring dirty comics to something like that?

Or you're like, hey, dude,

this is tenure.

Like Avi Lieberman's gigs in Israel.

Yes.

He's like, can't have you.

I'm sorry.

I like you, Ari, but I cannot have you.

There's like two places in the settlement.

So you're like, uh-uh.

Yeah.

You need to go to another settlement.

Ari, you would be good at an edgy tool.

You would be good at an edgier settlement.

So then you started going down.

Well, then I remember joking with him at the seller.

I'd come off stage.

He'd bring me on.

I'd come off and I'd go, hey, can I send you a link?

Can I send you a tape?

You know, because I understood what it, like, some comics are like, I understand it.

It's like, I want to do it, and you're not letting me do it, so I'm angry at you.

But I wasn't, I didn't take that approach to it.

I just kind of took the approach like, oh, it's my, my, maybe my act isn't good for the kind of shows that you're having down there, the people that you're having.

It's smart.

Because a lot of times it's like, hey, dude, no, it's just like, this is tourists or this is moms.

Or like, or like Nate.

Nate's like, right.

You know, I like you guys.

They're just like, I told him it's going to be Christian clean.

Right.

This is my brand.

So it's like, if you could fit the brand, I'd love to have you.

If you can't, then it's like, I need to stay true to what I'm doing.

I mean, I have a storytelling show, and they're like, can I do like bits about this?

I'm like, oh, those are great.

That's not for this.

Right.

Yeah.

Right.

So that's what it was.

So I didn't.

I was just like, oh, you know, give me a chance.

You know, you know, so he did.

And then, you know, it took a while to adjust.

You know, I think if you work the road enough, it obviously fits better.

But if you're just a straight New Yorker, you're working Brooklyn or whatever, it's hard hard because these people are like older and um they are yeah and they're they're they have a little bit of money but like some of them don't you know okay so beyond the money shows though who's who's there what's a room tourists it's all tourists it's all tourists i mean there's the locals what and the locals are very like

this is what i love about it it's like an advertisement for what it is where it's like you can drink the water

people speaking english take american money they take american money that's their currency Yep.

I mean, that's not their main currency, but they do take it.

It's safe.

There's no like bad part of the island.

Prostitution is legal.

It's right off Venezuela.

Yeah.

Which is not so nice.

No, but it's a prostitution is legal.

Prostitution is legal in the red light.

They have a red light distance.

How much is a prostitute?

I wouldn't know that.

How much has it gone up to, Mike?

I was ignoring your question.

Oh,

I I just

got married.

Oh, I got your wedding gift in there.

All right.

They're in the other room.

I thought this was it.

Hey, guys, I'm breaking in today's episode to let you know a little bit about the guest, Mike Vecchion.

He's one of the best comics working today.

And I'm not saying that lightly.

His joke writing is like

inspirational.

I'm not going to use that word lightly.

He's like, he legitimately, it's on another level.

Me and List always talk about it, me and Big J always talk about it.

And he used this style, this like deadpan kind of style to kind of accentuate those jokes.

It's wild how fucking

full-on he is about every detail of it.

He had a bit, I think in the attractives, it might have been in a special

CD from 2017, but

about Megabus.

And to research it, he took Megabus out and then back in just to get research about the situation.

Instead of going off like one experience he had, like all of us would he's out there really committing to it it's amazing he's got a new special out right now called low-income whites low-income white

low-income white singular it's available on Nateland's YouTube youtube.com slash at nateland it's produced by our one of the biggest comics

not only financially

but also in terms of belly nate bargazi yeah he uh no longer is in shape the way he used to be and now he's got got a little bit of a punch.

I don't know if you remember that scene from pulp fiction where she goes, I like my punch or whatever.

Shut up, butts.

Oh, I don't have a butt.

That's Nate.

That was based on Nate.

They knew what he would become.

A guy who was in shape, first fat, then in extreme shape, and now a little bit of a punch.

It's fun.

It's fun because also you can make fun of him because he used to be like legitimately fat.

Disgusting.

Segura is the same way.

But he produced it and maybe directed it.

Look and white, get it on YouTube right now.

Legitimately, if you want to have a laugh with friends, turn it on and say, Ari Shafir said this is a fucking fun special.

And it's like 45 minutes are just crushing.

You'll just be laughing with your friends.

Look and white.

He's also on the road.

He's also got a special called The Attractives.

It's also available on the ALN.

You can watch that one as well.

He's on the roads

starting in wow, right now.

Good Night's Comedy Club, Tempe Improv, Des Moines Funnybone, Hartford Funnybone,

and in Nashville, Tennessee, and Zane's in December.

Go to mikevecchione.com for all tickets right now.

I am

off the road.

I'm no longer anywhere, so do me a favor and subscribe to this podcast for every watching or listening.

That would make me feel good.

Hit subscribe and hit the reminder bell so you get notified of new podcasts.

Every week is a brand new place we go.

Sometimes we repeat, but it's a different trip every time.

I've also got merch available right now the shroom fest shirt just went on sale already selling real well two colors mint and black

also you'll be tripping shirts in black and something else I forgot and also maybe mint as well you'll be tripping stickers it's a six pack of stickers two each of a tan one that's like good for water bottles a blue one also good for water bottles whatever else and a clear one

that i would love to see you guys put in your passports and use and have them stamp around it

it's clear so it looks like a passport stamp the you've been chipping sticker available right now at ari shapira.com and right now if you're watching on youtube you can just go below and uh let's see all the merch available it's also ari cat shirts um that's the standard one because i look like this cat it's crazy it's crazy how much i look like a cat and um

juveniles signed unsigned different prices for those

Wait till I get in like real trouble.

Then the signed ones will have to be below the unsigned ones.

Grinders.

Oh, stay positive shirts and go for a hike shirts that you should wear whenever this world is bogging you down with madness.

Put on your GoForA Hike shirt and realize you can go to a place, a hike, where nothing really affects you.

Guys, that's it for the bumper for this week's episode.

Again, Mike Vecchion is one of the greats.

Legitimately, legitimately, I'm not joking.

We all disagree.

Whoa, nearly crashed.

Go check out his special, Low IncomeWhite, right now on youtube.com/slash at nateland and tell them Ari sent you, make a joke about you got this from, oh, here's one.

I like doing fun comments on the jokes.

I came here to show you that Mike Vecchion is not a anti-Semite.

I know everybody's saying he's anti-Semitic, but I was referred to this special from a Jew, which should prove once and for all that Mike Vecchion, despite what every single person in the world says, is actually not anti-Semitic.

Now let's get back to the episode about Aruba.

But

it's a Dutch colony.

So it's the Dutch kind of like the Dutch military protects it from, you know, foreign invaders or whatever.

So, and the Dutch people, like, there's no, like,

there's a good relationship between the Dutch people and the locals.

That's a nice way of saying it.

Hey, so this is interesting to me because, you know,

sometimes into like all colonizers, you know, whatever, there were like this rush of all here to take over all of this, you know, and every island.

They're like, who's going to get it?

Right.

And then all this and whatever.

Right.

So like

the Dutch were, some of them were terrible, tyrants and stuff like that.

Some of the French were terrible.

And some of them were like, hey, we think this is wrong.

And then like England will be like, all right, we're going to get it.

And the French are like, no, well, no, if you're going to take it, then we're going to take it.

Right.

Right.

The Dutch gave back

Timor-Leste.

They were known as like a really kind colonizer.

They were like, hey, we're just here for the coffee.

You guys run your own shit.

We're coming for our coffee.

Yeah.

But that's it.

Yeah.

And then they go, actually, at some point, they go, you guys actually deserve your freedom.

Right.

We're just going to give it to you.

And then Indonesia came in and like killed a ton of like a half of them.

But like, it's so, I never think of Holland as a colonizer.

Right.

Right.

But the way they did it, and that was kind of the thing then, where it's like that's these companies.

Yeah, I forget what the companies were called.

They were like trading companies, yeah, like the trading companies.

They would come and they would colonize, and it was like a business.

It was like a big business back then.

But like, you could see their relationship with

the people is a good one.

And just what you said, where it's like, oh, we're going to let you guys, like, you guys have your run, run it.

We'll, we'll just be kind of here in the background.

Yeah.

It's still, but you could see the Dutch influence there.

I was there for a world.

Is that their normal language?

Dutch?

Dutch is a language.

It's a,

what's it called?

I forget the name of the language now.

It's escaping me.

But is it that?

Is that what you're doing?

No, no, no.

No, it's another one.

It's another one.

It says mix between Spanish and

something else.

French, maybe?

Creole.

I don't know.

But it's like, it's called something else.

And

it's interesting.

And so, what do you do there?

Like, it's just a, it seems like

it's the greatest place

on earth.

Really?

It really is the greatest place on earth.

I have no desire to go to Jamaica.

I have no desire.

Like,

Katie, my wife is like,

well, you should maybe go to Mexico.

I'm like, I have no desire to go anywhere but Aruba.

And that could be just me, like, with my brain not, you know, you're a guy who, like, wants to go everywhere or whatever, but I find a good place.

Like, I just lock into it.

So I've been there several, several times.

Fortunately for me, Aruba Ray

has brought me down several times and my wife and we both perform on the shows and as well as many other comics.

What do you do?

Forget the shows for a second.

The shows, I'm sure, are just shows, whatever.

Unless you're like, I mean, well, it's very specific to like, it's very, it's like doing, it's like people who go on vacation.

And, and, and comics make a mistake when they go down there because they're like, oh, you guys are rich.

It's like, they do that in some places where it's like, oh, you guys are rich.

It's like, I don't know if they're rich.

Maybe some of them are.

But it's like this difference between being rich and like saving your whole life, having children, and then having some money to go on a vacation with.

It's like, I don't know if that's rich.

It's all set to comedians.

Like, you guys are rich.

Like, no, you're just incredibly poor.

Yeah, yeah.

Just like, no, we can all go out for a burger.

That's not rich, but it's a comics.

Like, what?

Yeah.

You can afford two beers.

You don't need Chappelle to buy you one?

Also, it's not a good strategy if you're performing in front of those people to be like, oh, you guys are rich.

Like, no one wants to feel guilty about their wealth if they have like a best egg or something.

But yeah, it's like.

So anyway, those are the kind of people who come mostly

East Coast Philadelphia.

When'd you first start going?

Was it 2014?

Was it before you met Katie?

Yes.

Okay, so then let me ask you a question of just before times.

Yeah.

Stop me if I can't ask this.

Were there groupies there?

Were there people like like at these shows have you heard if it would be easier to go have you heard from other comedians if people are getting late then let's go that way i've heard that that can happen okay i've heard that that can happen and other comics have hooked up down there and uh vacation sex yeah yeah yeah because yeah because people are coming girls trips That's a thing where it's like, I'm coming with my girl, like Bachelorette.

It's kind of like the thing.

And

yeah, that's known to have happened down there.

Okay.

Yeah.

I was dating.

I was always, I've been in these long-term relationships.

Didn't you fuck Burt's ex?

Yeah, that's an interesting.

That's an interesting.

We had to retrieve.

But it was in high school.

And then he, in college, he dated her in college.

I dated her for like three months in high school.

He's not over it.

He dated her in college.

He's still upset.

Well, he's crazy.

He's wildly successful now.

He's doing it just to get back at you.

All his success is to get back and to get that lady back.

So, okay, so i gotta say like

forget the shows for a second okay what do you do when you're there when you hang out with i'm sure it's different and then also i gotta say this there's a specific kind of vacation that i've become aware of or a trip which i call like covid travel yeah where people get either locked into a place um for covid like they miss the last flight out and now you're like in a place by yourself or like uh uh christina and uh and corinne were in tulum and they're like hey all vacations are done Like, well, our flight's still there.

And they went, and no one was there at a vacation spot.

And like, these people went to places.

I went to the Amazon where it was like, it just opened up.

The Amazon just opened up?

Yeah, for real.

So they wouldn't let tourists in.

And the day it did, like, hey, I got a vacation that day.

That's crazy.

So you're in this place where there's supposed to be 100 people and it's just you.

Yeah, yeah.

So you spent COVID.

I spent COVID there.

I remember talking to you because you went to Costa Rica.

I went to Ecuador.

Ecuador.

Yeah.

Weren't you in Costa Rica?

Was that my imagination?

That's 2017.

That was a long time ago.

It's like with my parents.

Capuchin Monkeys.

I went to Costa Rica for, not to sidetrack us, but Costa Rican wedding.

The interesting story, the Capuchin monkeys are on the porch.

They're in the hot tub.

And they actually,

the wedding we went to opened the door to the bride's suite.

And we're in there like eating her food.

No.

Yes.

Yeah, Capuchin monkeys.

Capuchin monkeys are

these guys?

Yeah.

They are crazy, man.

They are crazy.

And they come like, they were like, they're not afraid of people.

They like come into your

hotel.

Oh, yeah.

Look at this.

Right in the hotel room.

They just come in.

What?

Yeah, Capuchin monkeys.

Because our room faced the forest.

So they were like right there.

They just come right out of the forest onto the Costa Rica.

This is Costa Rica.

Hold on.

Monkey compilation.

I love it.

This is what our stand-up clips are competing with, by the way.

What?

It just comes right.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

They're so cute.

Yeah, they just walk into your room.

That's nuts.

He's like, come on, man.

Oh.

Yeah.

Yeah.

and there's entire families of them.

There was like a mother with a baby on her back and the husband following behind, just like

everybody loves Raymond.

But for Capuchin monkeys,

wow.

Okay.

So, yeah, you spent COVID there.

What did you decide?

Just like, I'm not going back?

No, we got there and

we were there.

When it broke?

No, we went after.

Okay.

Okay, we took a flight because he started doing shows again because, remember the spacing, They started to open up a little bit with some spacing.

They had stuffed tape on the ground.

You can't put your chair over there.

Are you with, are you guys together?

We're together.

The chair's here.

Yeah.

And can I just open up on a personal note about our relationship?

Me and Soder live together.

When COVID hit, I came back from Chicago, COVID hits.

I know it's serious because the NBA gets canceled between the late show, the early show and the late show on Friday.

When the NBA gets canceled the season, I go, okay, billionaires are not losing money.

This is very serious.

That's real.

So I get back.

Katie's terrified.

She's living with roommates in Astoria.

I live with Soder in Astoria.

Soder

goes to Hoboken with his Katie.

My Katie moves in, and we're living together in our place in Astoria under the train.

So that's for a year we're doing that.

That's tough.

So we're fighting.

Yeah.

Because you know what I mean?

A lot of relationships broke up over COVID.

Either they got stronger or they broke up.

Remember that the X-Men movie where they just wanted to make everyone into a mutant?

Yeah.

And they released something to make everyone a mutant?

That's how it did for relationships.

It either devolved them or evolved them.

Yeah.

It was just like, let's go.

Or we're moving in.

I think Chappelle said it best where he's like, you just, you're sitting there with all of your life decisions.

And you're looking at them.

You're like, am I happy with my life decisions or am I not happy?

During COVID?

Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's when a lot of people left LA, go, you know what?

I want a dock.

I want to live by a dock.

So I'll go to Oklahoma.

What am I doing here?

I haven't gone on audition in seven years.

Right.

What am I doing here?

And it's like, yeah, you have to think about this for a second.

Like, what are, I never see my family, or I see them too much, or like, what am I doing?

It takes you out of your normal thought process.

So you start thinking from a different perspective.

It's like with stand-up, like the way we're in it, where it's like, am I dedicating too much of my life to this?

And then that, once it stops, you go, oh, my God, I really have nothing but this.

This maybe I'm spending too much time on this because I have kind of, I haven't fostered any of these other other relationships.

I'm just focusing on this.

And that's good.

It's good to be driven and passionate about something.

But at the end of the day, it's like, am I ignoring these other things?

Well, you know, the mistake I think we made is you and I and kind of everyone in our, in our like

subset of comics, the man of sleep.

No, but whatever, just these comics who are like every day, you know, multiple times a day, as much as we can get up, guys.

Right, right.

You know, which is like 90% of us.

Yeah.

We went up every day, every chance we could, because we had to, because we're a one-year comic, and I need to get better right now.

And also, I love it.

And then at some point, like, okay, now I kind of know how to write a joke and I know how to handle a heckler.

And I used everything from my past, from like high school and grade school to draw upon, you know, and now it's like the jokes are all becoming about coffee shops and airplanes.

And I'm like, I need to like actually get some new input.

Right, right, right.

And then we never stop to go, hold on, hold on, hold on.

I actually should take one day a week off off and just have date nights or just like or go on vacation with my parents.

Like, I forgot I was supposed to be doing that.

So we didn't shift until COVID helped us go, hold on.

I mean, different guys have different levels of consciousness about that kind of stuff.

You're a guy who kind of understood that earlier, at least than me.

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I was like a guy who was like, No,

you got to go up.

Like that push yourself kind of a thing.

Whereas, like, no, no, no, I just did a special.

Let me go to South America for a while and get some new experiences and maybe journal about them so that later on these seeds can become jokes.

Yeah.

That's a very smart way to do it.

You do it on purpose.

It's not, it's not like it's well, you do it very consciously, yeah.

Consciously, yeah.

So, um, anyway, COVID did that for us, where it's like you're you drop and you're like, oh my God, like, what am I left with here?

Like,

what are the important things other than because the whole thing came to a stop.

So, we're in the apartment.

It's not,

it's not, we're not, we're, uh, it's where me and Soder live.

It's not her, her stuff is still in her apartment.

Did you fight with Soder a lot?

Did I never fought with Soder?

Never.

Never.

God, if he was only a chick.

I mean, we both worked out for both of you, but if he were a chick, that would have been a great relationship.

But

don't picture Soder

with boobs.

You got to picture someone else.

I'm trying to do it.

No.

I don't have that code of an imagination.

Daniella Soder.

Someone Photoshop that.

AI that.

It's so funny because.

AI that, put it up.

It's so funny because both of us.

Put a romantic Daniella Soder and

put a Mike Becky own, fat Mike.

I'm the fat girl that he's asked to stay with.

Yeah.

So we're in, we're,

me and Soder had a great living arrangement for 10 years.

We lived.

And I'll tell you something.

Like, we were in such a situation where it was like, it's such a good situation.

We're such good, close, best friends.

And so we just decided like, you know, let's, there's no, if there's no reason to move, I don't need to live by myself.

We're great friends.

Let's just stay here and

then we'd date different girls and they'd come back and we'd live under the train.

And the girls would be like, How do you live under a train?

It's like, you get used to it.

You know what I mean?

And make dinner.

We'd have pizza.

It was just like fun.

Nothing but fun.

You know?

Damn.

So then, Kate.

Like a lower rent, George Clooney type situation where it's like, it's just fun.

It was just so fun.

So, but COVID is the thing that

spurred us

on to

his relationship and my relationship.

it accelerated those two things,

both of our relationships, because he moved in with his Katie at Hoboken, and I moved in with my Katie in our place.

And then it was like too tight?

Yeah, I mean, it was like normal, like we get up, have a bunch of coffee, and watch New York one and be like, oh, what's happening?

And then, you know, we all, we both have our inner

triggers from how you're raised.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

So it's like that's brushing up against each other.

And it's like, she's flipping out.

I'm flipping it.

It's like, yeah, whatever.

She also likes to talk about stuff as it comes up, and you're more of a barrier guy.

Let it explode out.

It may be, yeah.

Yes.

So that it's like those don't match.

I mean, I like where you're going.

I mean, I didn't think it was all my fault, but the way you're framing it, I guess.

No, it's her fault.

She keeps bubbling, bubbling.

Like, I'm not ready to do this shit.

It's everybody's fault.

It's just, it's, you know, matchups make fights.

Well, we're stuck in the situation, and it's like one thing that did help is like Ray was like, hey, why don't you come?

You know, it's spacing.

I don't know how many shows there are going to be down here, but why don't you come and then we're going to start to do some shows.

So I was one of the guys he used.

So we both went down and

that's how it happened.

And our relationship immediately got better.

When we were

hotel, condo?

Where do you say?

Hotel on the beach.

Here's a cool thing about

from from Ray.

Ray's Jewish.

Ray is Jewish.

Two comics, one hotel.

There you go.

I didn't think about that.

I'll save money on that.

Actually, I'm getting two performers.

Because probably the shows keep new people.

Well, the thing is, yeah, he keeps rotating people.

He's very good about that.

No, no, I mean, audience.

Yes.

So then you really could stay for five months and just do the shows.

He could, but he always brings new guys.

He's very good that way.

He always brings into

something where he'll spend money to bring people people in just to keep it fresh and keep it.

But in this specific situation, he brought us down and then there was some kind of a lockdown that happened again while we were down there.

And he was like, look,

I don't want to spend the money to bring people in and go through all there were all these travel restrictions.

He goes, just come down and

do you want to stay?

Let's just stay here.

And if I have shows, we'll do them.

And if I don't, we'll just chill.

He's like, you're not doing, everything's locked down in New York.

You're not going to be doing anything in New York.

Do you just want to stay here?

And I said, give me some time to think about it.

And I took one day because Katie was like, what are we doing?

We're going to go back and just

into the.

To what?

Yeah.

Go back to what?

I remember actually Soder was my catalyst where I remember hearing about him going to the airport to go to Phoenix for shows that was at one-third capacity.

So already it's like,

okay.

It's so funny too.

Like Matt Edgar was like, people are like, can you do shows at one-third capacity?

And Matt Edgar was like, yeah, that's what we do.

We're late night comics of the store.

We perform for 12 people.

You fucking rich guys.

You don't understand what it's like in real life.

One-third capacity is actually how I draw.

That's the one-third capacity tour.

But

what was I just saying?

Oh, so Soda was at the airport.

This is what I heard.

And they go, turn around, Arizona just shut down.

So he had to go, ugh, and go back.

And I'm like, I don't want to go through that.

For the best case scenario of one-third of the pay.

Right, right.

I'm just going to go to Ecuador.

Yeah.

And then you just like, I'm just going to stay in Aruba.

I'm going to stay in Aruba.

I'll do less spots in New York, but marginally.

You go.

I think the stand was having outdoor shows.

Some.

Yeah, like you could get up once a week there at the stand, but and people were having rooftop shows, but that's it.

That's all that was happening in New York.

And he's like, why would you go back?

You couldn't do three a night, four a night, five a night, like you were before.

It was, it was three a week.

Right.

You know, right.

If you hustled, so then it's like, this is the time,

almost nothing's happening.

Go away.

Right.

Go away and stay.

So it made sense.

Wow.

And he's like, if we have shows, if we have shows, we'll do them.

If we don't, we'll just chill.

And he actually ended up having shows.

So you got to go up

and be in Aruba.

Yeah.

So what do you do all day?

Get up.

We would have coffee, write, and then I would work out.

What's your workout?

Just work out picking up coconuts.

Is it one of those?

that picture sweet gym at the marriott sweet gym we do a little so i would take him actually ray i would take him through the circuit you know i would do like a circuit i would be like let's go and use lightweight just get three sets of 10 on everything and it's like but people misconstrue it's like i'm not i'm a workout guy but i'm a workout guy because and i'm 52 now but like i want to feel good

I do these like practices and stuff like working out because I don't want to be on medication.

Oh.

not that there's anything if you need medication, whatever, no, but I'm trying to like do it naturally.

Yeah, yeah, I'm like, and I, it's like, oh, what are you trying to prove?

It's like, no, no, I'm not trying to prove anything, I'm just trying to feel good.

Yeah, that's the whole thing.

And I find that my way of feeling good is you have to suffer

through some stuff, and then you'll then when you come out of it, you'll feel unbelievable.

Like, that's what fasting is, too, which is like, don't eat.

It's like it sucks.

And then, but when you can't eat, you appreciate food like so much more.

Sorry, COVID.

I saw Che once, right, at the end of COVID, like, you know, like eight months later, nine months later, and he called, and he was like, How you doing?

He's like,

I'm like, what's the matter?

He goes, found out I have COVID today.

He's like, just joker.

It's so funny.

He says it as breathing on you.

Yeah.

That's the best.

But it was a wacky time, but it ended up being a blessing for us because we just, we stayed in the hotel on the beach.

In Aruba.

In Aruba.

It's in the Beach Boys song.

Yeah.

Aruba.

It was the first one.

Yeah.

Baby, why don't we do Duke Largo, Montego?

And the best is they had these,

I don't know what they're called,

lizards.

Yeah.

These lizards there, and they're just everywhere.

This guy?

This guy.

Wow.

He's everywhere.

That's classic lizards.

Sit and get up, have coffee, sit in a gazebo, and these guys, because people feed them, they come right up to you.

They're your capuchin monkeys.

They're our capuchin monkeys.

Wait, so they're like tame?

They just want food?

Yeah, they want food.

I mean, it's freaky to watch a small dinosaur walk up to you while you're trying to have breakfast.

How fast are they?

They're very fast.

They are.

Yeah.

When they get, they go.

Yeah, they get and go.

And some are bigger than others.

Do they bite people?

I think so.

What?

But

only if you like interact with them.

I'm sure if you're feeding them.

But they don't don't attack people, though.

Okay.

But they look like small dinosaurs.

Jesus.

Can you touch them?

Not if...

Look at that shit on his back.

He looks like a...

But isn't it amazing?

Is he a bad gremlin?

What's his name?

I don't know what that...

I don't know.

The first bad one.

He looks like that.

That looks like a mohawk.

Yeah.

But it's amazing that

these are the remnants of dinosaurs.

The last remnants of dinosaurs.

You'd think they'd be bigger ones to be the remnants.

Not these little fucking homos.

They've They've downsized.

It's a travel-sized dinosaur.

Yeah.

Guess you just look at those.

What's the weather like out there?

It's, it's, that's the thing.

It's 80 and beautiful every day.

It's the whole mantra of the island is one happy island.

And it is.

It's like beautiful every day.

Even if it rains, it's a passing storm.

Yeah.

Oh.

That's so cool.

It's unbelievable.

So what

that's that's Tony Woods.

Oh.

And and Ray, that's Aruba Ray and Tony Woods.

Nice.

Look how fucking weird you look.

Yes.

This is five years ago.

Chunky face.

Chunky face.

You looked like different, though.

It looked like a punk kid.

I'm a punk kid back then.

But this is after one of the shows.

Okay.

Yeah,

Tony crushes.

So he set up like a real club there.

He put a backdrop in.

Yeah, he set up a real club.

The club is great.

Tony, dude, Tony is...

Tony annihilates.

I have like, you know how it's like certain people you can follow better than other people and then other people like I have no problem at all following that guy.

You do?

That's weird.

And then vice versa, like I can't, I can't follow Tony Woods.

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I do.

Remember when they said Bernie could have beaten Trump because they both offset his, I'm an outsider guy, right?

Right, right.

You know, whereas the other people that he was running against were all insiders, and people like, I want an outsider, and like, he was the only option.

Could have been Bernie, also.

I don't really know politics, but that's what I remember.

Yeah.

Tony is super conversational.

Yes.

That's my only skill.

He beats me in it.

So then I go on after him and I sound contrived.

My one skill goes away.

That's so funny.

Yeah, we just found a guy who was really talking about himself.

You're reading lines.

If you're going to read lines, do it like, you know, I don't know, like a fucking act.

Do it like Jeremy Hots or something.

That's so funny.

I just did list shows, the sesh.

Yeah.

Have you done it?

Anyway, I got that feeling too where it's like I go up and I'm doing I'm doing a

bit

and I could see them looking at me like this sounds like a bit

and I'm like, well, it is.

It's a bit.

It's like, well, can you be it sounds like we want something authentic.

Like what happened to you today

kind of a thing versus versus and Joe is like super organic.

He's like, yeah, it's like whatever.

And it's like, I was in the middle of it.

It occurred to me that they're looking at me like I'm doing a bit.

And they're responding to me like, this sounds like a bit.

Yeah, I mean, you have a setup style like that.

Yeah.

It's less like, hey, how you doing?

So, hey, you ever noticed?

Like, that's Big J.

Right.

Yeah, I get Tony Rules.

Tony Rules, the shows were great.

We went to this, they have restaurants.

The food is very good.

The food is good.

Yeah.

Expensive.

Unbelievable.

This place?

No.

Ruba.

Not crazy.

That's the other thing.

Not crazy expensive, but

we went to these.

they have these restaurants, and Ray knows all of them where it's tasting menus.

So you pay

a prefix fee, and then you go in, and

they just serve you courses.

So

it's like I'm an overeater, so it's not good.

I have to fill up on bread because the courses are very small.

And it's just like a tasting.

It's what it's supposed to be.

But there's like eight of them.

It's eight little things that you're supposed to eat and go, you know,

more of that, yeah, keep it going.

Yeah.

This place is called Two Fools in a Bowl.

Two Fools in a Bowl.

Yeah.

This is me after eating.

Me and Simone were in

San Francisco once.

We went to, I think, Zizix or one of those Chinese restaurants, and we're like, Simone loves authentic.

You know, he wants fireworks from the bat.

Whenever he comes here to Chinatown, he goes, Where's the fireworks?

I'm like, sir, Nark, get out of here.

But anyway, he was like, what should we get?

And the waiter guy, this old Chinese guy, was like,

I bring bring you stuff and we're like yeah and it was like all right and he just he just like when they decide it's like yeah give me the best shape i have no idea i'm looking at the menu and just like deciphering right you know yeah but these tasting places are really

they're really something they're really great it's an experience and i was drinking back then though so it's like wine pairings and all this stuff it's like just one just but just don't eat and get ready to like experience it experience it yeah and it's something like weird like what would they serve you

i don't even remember what they did, but each course, and

that's after, that's after the meal.

But they took you to the

kitchen?

Yeah, yeah.

It's small.

It all seats like eight.

Oh, really?

It seats like eight people or ten people or twelve people, something like that.

Yeah.

So.

Yeah, that's a bright one.

Yeah.

It's got it.

Yeah, me and Bobby went to one of those in Copenhagen, and then they say afterwards, the only thing you need to do after is go get a slice of pizza.

Yeah.

It's a three-hour.

We can fill up on bread, but they,

they, it's really, uh, it's escaping me what the food is, but because they overexplain it.

Like, they, before they give it to you, like, this is a blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And it looks like they're welding it.

Yeah, we have macerated the cherries.

I'm like, I don't know what that means.

Yeah.

We took star fruit.

We told it his father left him.

This was an abandoned starfish.

Another guy.

Fresh, everything.

Fresh fish.

Fresh fish.

Was that?

That was big there.

It's Joe Vega, and that's a Ruberet.

And

this is the, I'm doing it.

This is the fresh.

Fresh guy.

That's how fresh the fish is.

It's looking at you.

It's staring at you.

That's so fun.

What a fun time to be there, too.

Forget about all the times you've been there, but just like another.

So did you get paid for the shows?

Yeah.

So you were one of the few people that actually was making money during that time.

Making money.

Making money.

Whenever he had shows, but it was like,

the hotel was free?

Yeah, the hotel.

We stayed in the hotel because he was like, look, I'm going to have shows.

So I need the hotel.

I need the hotel.

And the hotel was like, cool.

We don't have any tourism right now.

So sure.

Yeah, that's another thing.

It's like not many people were down there.

You know, it was like pretty.

He was there when I was really desolate.

When I was there, it was, you know.

Because remember how it came in waves where it was like it happened, then it started to loosen up a little bit.

So that's when we went down.

and then and then it was like a lockdown again because there was an outbreak again.

So it locked down again, it made it tougher to move.

So that's why we decided to just stay.

God, what a decision.

Who's this lady?

This is a um.

Can you play sound on this?

Yeah, you gotta unsound it, though.

Okay, I will.

Yeah, let me.

This is a

hi man.

You were at the show tonight.

How was my set?

Your set was great, but your ass is better.

There's this old Jewish lady.

Play that again.

Play that again.

Play it again?

Hi, man.

You were at the show tonight.

How was my set?

Your set was great, but your ass is better.

Oh, my God.

She's so proud of herself.

Is this the type of person that comes to the show?

Yeah, it was that, yeah, it was like, it's like that type, like good natured.

Yeah, yeah, fun.

Seems like older people from like the north who like

the crowd.

Yeah, but not the annoying ones.

Yeah, there's some people from Boston, Philly, New York, and then you have people from the Midwest, and then you have

some Netherlands people coming and

Australia.

Who are they?

What are they like?

What are the locals?

Do you talk to them?

Yeah.

What are they like?

They're very cool, very cool island people.

Island boys?

The Rubens.

The Rubens.

Yeah.

What are they?

The Rubens.

They're very, like, it's very, like, uh,

they have, you see their houses and everything.

It's like, they're just very chill, very chill.

Like, uh, it's very, obviously an outdoor culture.

It's not like the houses aren't big, you know, they're not like

they just live very, like, in my, from my view, like, simple.

Is it a rush?

Like, you know, New York's like, move, move, move, move, move.

Me and Lis and Norman were watching a movie and then we got ice cream.

We were like strolling, and some lady's like

and like goes past us and we're like what the fuck's her problem and then we immediately start like some fucking bitch is about to die and she's angry and it was like she just said ugh by the wrong people yeah but it was like this strolling is not allowed here yeah yeah so this is everybody everybody is in because tourist they they realize i think the people there realize that tourism is their bread and butter so they make sure they're very kind and everything to to the tourists even the cab drivers when you get there it's like first time on the island and then they'll they'll talk to you and they're very like, they don't want to, and that's why crime is very low also.

It's like they don't want to

harm the golden goose.

So they realize that tourism is like the thing.

And so they're very, it helps, you know, most of the economy.

So they make sure that crime is low and that people are treated well.

And everybody's in a good mood.

On the flight on the way down there, people are the happiest I've seen.

any group of people on a plane.

Wow.

They're thrilled.

They're thrilled to be there.

They know where they're going, so they're like, there's this, you know, we travel all the time, and you're on a flight, and it's usually just the same old mundane whatever.

But people on flights to Aruba are the happiest people you've ever seen in your life because they know what's about to, they know where they're about to go.

This is something I do for a lot of places.

Like, is so-and-so safe?

I'm always like, it's safe.

But every advisory is like, don't careful about everywhere.

Yeah, yeah.

I wonder what it would be like for this.

Wow, yeah, this is the first one.

Is considered safe.

Considered safe.

Low crime rate, governmental safety measures, reputable resources.

Drink the water is huge.

Using American money is huge.

People speaking English, it's like you don't have to struggle.

Oh, how are the mosquitoes?

I mean, it's the weather, the mosquitoes are like non-existent.

Really?

Yeah.

And it's,

like I said, the weather is beautiful.

It's like 80 and sunny every day.

Wow.

Wow.

And the people coming to the shows are like good.

Like I said, it's way far down there.

It's funny that Chris, look at the difference between the Bahamas and Aruba.

Or what are these up?

Bermuda.

That's up by South Carolina.

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, it's out there, but I picture it, in my head when I grew up, I pictured all these Bermuda and St.

Lucia at kind of the same place.

You know, but it's not at all.

No, no.

And Arubub is a big deal.

But it's all the Caribbean, right?

It's all the Caribbean.

Yeah, but Aruba is like way down.

Yeah, it's really close to Colombia also.

So it must be like

Colombian.

God.

80 and sunny every day.

What a fucking.

How long were you there for this time?

Three months.

Have you been back since?

Yes.

A few times.

And it's, it's, I'm telling you, I never get to.

It's never, it's always great.

It's never bad.

I never get sick of it.

It's unbelievable.

Have you been to Cuador Rique Cave?

I went, the first couple times I went, I went to the donkey sanctuary.

You can feed the donkeys from your hand.

There's goats,

stray goats that walk around, stray dogs and goats when you're driving.

What?

Yeah, stray goats.

Come visit the donkey sanctuary.

Donkey Sanctuary.

What?

What do you mean?

It's donkey sanctuary.

Feed the donkeys.

There's wild donkeys?

Bedonkadonk?

Yeah.

Is this Bedonkadonk?

Look at that ass.

Look at that ass.

Bedonkadonk.

You could feed the donkey.

Wait, there's wild donkey.

Which one's a mule?

Is

the inbreeder?

Mules are working-class donkeys, I think.

Donkey sanctuary.

Yeah.

Will they just run around?

Well, they just, yeah, they hang out.

Look at that one.

That one's got a lot to say.

He's protesting.

Look at this.

This kid has his grandparent and a white parent.

And that donkey's cool with it?

Yeah.

They got matching hair.

Yeah.

But the donkey sanctuary, there's also a butterfly farm, which I've never been to.

Katie went to it with her parents.

But,

yeah, I've had my mother down there.

Really?

My sister.

Yeah.

It's butterfly farm.

It's gorgeous.

Yeah, the butterfly farm.

What?

Are they just out?

I'd never been there.

Oh, right.

But I heard.

Hey, Katie Wayne.

That looks like you.

That is me.

That's me if I had a family.

Oh, yeah.

It's all inside like that.

Yeah.

Damn.

Probably earlier it's a caterpillar farm and then it becomes a life.

So, okay.

I don't know how it works.

Flamingo Beach?

I must have been there.

So do they take you on like little excursions?

You know what?

The beautiful thing about Aruba Ray, good friend, is

he would, when the first couple times we went there, he'll take you to all the

places.

Yeah.

And

there's a natural pool, which is like you, you can.

It's a natural pool.

It's a, it's, I don't know how to describe it.

It's all these,

it's like a mountain and it's a pool in the middle of this rocky, like a natural pool?

Yeah.

Interesting.

It's called a natural pool.

so we went through and you have to take you have to like get a special vehicle to drive to these places because it's so like rocky the natural

uh

yeah

um

oh what

salt water pool

it's like a net it's it's it's exactly what it is

you jump off it's so funny because up in the mountains yes so that's not connected to the ocean ocean.

It looks like there's tides.

Yeah.

It's great.

And, you know, I've jumped off some, but like when it was rough one time, we went and I did not jump because I was like,

what's the benefit is jumping and landing in water.

The

drawback is being paralyzed for the rest of my life if I hit rock.

You weren't at Norman's bachelor party.

He was going to jump off the

deck into the pool below.

And it was a bit of a move.

And he was like, stepped over the railing.

He was doing it.

And he goes, what do you think to me?

I'm like, I don't think you should do it,

but I think you can make it.

And everyone's like, do it, do it.

And then Joe Liz comes and goes, no, no, you're getting married.

No, no, come back over.

Absolutely not.

And he goes, all right, no, he didn't do it.

Yeah, I mean, that's it.

What's the benefit?

The benefit is you could say you did it and you feel the exhilaration of it.

But the drawback is you smash your head and die, or you're a vegetable.

Oh my god.

Yeah.

So it's up in the mountains.

That's so cool.

It's great.

A saltwater pool up in the mountains.

And it's like very hard on your feet.

It's very jagged.

So it helps to have those web, those scuba shoes that people have.

The goat shoes.

Yeah, because it's very hard

with sandals.

Or barefoot.

Barefoot is brutal.

But like people are up there videoing themselves, taking pictures and stuff.

It's

and also, I gotta say, it's like the other comics that you're with, just like when we were in Vegas together.

It's like the other comics that you're with really matter too, because it's like you're hanging out with them.

You're not just doing the shows with them, but during the day, you're doing these types of things with them.

Yeah, that's how jagged those rocks are.

It's jagged.

Dude, I love travel vlogger couples because they're like, we're good travel, but let's make it our thing.

Gladys and Kenny, I've just discovered right now.

That's these guys?

Yeah.

They have 16.6,000 subscribers, and they have to be very fake on camera for things.

Yeah, that's Gladys and Kenny.

It's so great if they had...

I think so.

This is real, guys, too.

I have to say, guys, calming down and looking at it from above, I was scared.

Yeah.

My stomach was like turning.

Oh, that kid just jumped.

Ugh, I hate it.

I hate them.

I'll jump if it's reasonable that I can, if there's too much, like the wind might, it's rough you might fall into a rock i can't i won't do it like that one i'll do that one you would do yes yes that one i'll jump there but no one time it was really rough and it was like i'm like there's no way

oh it's not so far yeah it's very fun

It's very fun.

And that in combination with the shows at night, it's like you're hanging out with the same people.

So is this connected to the ocean?

Why does it keep going up and down like that?

Yeah, it is.

It's connected to a larger.

It is.

It's all connected.

Oh.

But it's just like these pathways and gullies and rock.

And then there's one part of the island where the hotels and all the tourism is.

And then there's another part of the island, which I'm sure is not going to last very long.

It's going to build up, which is just

kind of barren.

And then there's like a prison.

Imagine going to prison in Aruba.

Best case scenario.

Unless they're like extra brutal.

They're probably extra brutal because everybody's having fun.

Yeah, you get to look out at them like, damn it.

Yeah, right across the bay from like sunbathers.

Like, fuck.

At least you're going to jerk off and like chicks and bikinis.

Yeah, she knows exactly what she's doing.

But it might be, it might be the best.

Where do you stay?

Or in just that?

What's the city?

Yeah, that's what it is.

Or just that.

That's where the airport is, yeah.

And that's where the shows are and stuff?

Yes.

And so then over here.

Over there is where the other side of the island was like mostly rough and

terrain and stuff.

Yeah.

Natural bridge.

What is that?

Natural pool.

I don't know.

It was

broken when I was there.

Oh, look at that.

Natural bridge.

Look at that.

Oh, okay.

Walk over it.

Yeah, the prison.

Me and ISO were driving by in Arizona.

We're just taking a scenic route.

Our flight got delayed.

We're driving back from Tucson to Phoenix to the airport.

And then they're like, flights delayed four hours.

We're like, let's take a scenic route then.

We passed by a prison.

And he was so shook because we were driving past all these cotton fields.

And then there was a prison.

And he goes, and then they look out he goes it's all my people

and he goes then they got to look out at they're pretty much just like we're a slave here

that's our that's us we're gonna we're the cotton pickers but did they have those signs the signs where it's like do not stop it didn't have that but it did have a lot of like like uh propaganda signs like rehabilitating our nation's future today

yeah yeah getting people back on their feet like what is this place re-education yeah this sounds great it's like a prison What a fun place.

Yeah.

It's really the

best.

Are people getting drunk every day?

Is it like a.

I mean, the people who are coming down there to celebrate stuff and to party, like, yeah, they're, they're, like, getting drunk.

They go, they'll take like a beer, they'll go to the beach and they'll just get drunk on the beach and then go to dinner and get drunk at dinner.

It's like, uh,

you know, when I was down there one time, uh, some staff came from the comedy cellar.

The whole staff?

Like four weight staff.

Yeah.

And they, I mean, you know, they party.

They party.

And they party on another level.

Like they were.

They party every day.

They party all day.

They drank all day.

I was never this kind of a drinker, but I could drink like during the day and then I would have to sleep or I could drink during the night and then I would have to sleep.

These guys drank all day, had dinner with us and then drank all night and then got up and then went on like a cruise, like a boat, like a booze cruise, where you're like swinging on a rope and jumping in the water and then drank all day, and then drank all night.

They were just like, they were constantly, and then one guy came and Armin came and worked out with us.

It's like, and then just kept drinking and partying.

It was unreal.

Whoa, yeah.

But these are the kind of people at the shows here.

Caitlin, you do a very noble job.

You coordinate kidney transplants.

I do.

That's unbelievable.

Now, are there any problems with that?

Or does it go smoothly?

Not all the time.

Sometimes, like, if the patient rejects the kidney, it could be a problem.

I know what that's like.

It's just like if I have a joke in my act and it just doesn't fit in the right place, I just have to,

you know, I have to rework it.

Does it kind of wink similar to that?

No.

That's not the same thing, ever.

Right?

No.

Thank you for joining me.

So this is just me trying to relate to the people there.

Oh, she looks so Italian, man.

New Year's.

She looks mob wife-ish.

Yes.

Mobs wives of Aruba.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's Uster and I.

We went out and that side had fireworks and everything.

So that was.

I didn't realize how fucking classic Christian you guys were.

That's a better shot.

That's Aruba?

Yeah.

Wow.

Fireworks in the back.

Yeah.

That's New Year's?

New Year's.

New Year's and Aruba, whatever the height of the pandemic.

You came shape from surgery.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's cool.

Yeah, I saw the mask on.

Yeah.

Wow.

She's wearing her leopard print.

Palm Beach.

That's the spot.

Wow, look at that.

Wait, wait, back up, back up.

Let me see this for a second.

Look at that.

So it's really a great on the water.

Yeah, the fireworks.

Wow.

I mean, this is like a paradise.

I imagine the Dutch finding this and just being like, oh, this is

if it's done right, man.

What are the beaches?

Like the white sand?

It's not white, but the water is like the clearest you could see.

It's unbelievable.

And you know what else is unbelievable?

Like, I'm addicted to my phone, like everybody.

I know it.

I know I am.

I know I am.

And I'm like not judging anybody else, but people will be in the water on their phones.

You're in the most beautiful place in the world, and you're just on your phone.

It's like, this ocean doesn't have any Wi-Fi.

What's going on with the ocean?

It's like, there is, it's like, what are you doing?

Or like, I've been guilty of it too.

It's like, I'm taking pictures of the sunset.

It's like, just enjoy the sun.

You're never going to look at this.

I try to have a rule that I don't abide by, but the rule is if this is temporary, enjoy it.

And if it's long-lasting, then you could take a picture.

Like, like us on that rock, you, me, Sarah, and Joe.

It's like, like, all right, let's take a picture.

There's a moment.

There's a moment.

We'll take a picture and it's with us in it.

Yeah.

Or like a building.

Okay, I could do it.

But this is the, it's, a sunset is happening right now.

It's like, I shouldn't take time away to get this.

And you're not going to capture it.

No.

You can't capture sunsets or moons.

Right.

You just, no one ever has.

And it's more about the feeling that you're having while the sun is setting.

Yeah, like one.

Oh, look at that moon.

It's so big today.

Like, it's not going to, it's just going to look like a dot.

There's no context to it.

And what kind of mental state are you going to be when you're scrolling?

You're like, hey, the moon.

Oh, a shitty picture of the movie.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's like you just came out of your apartment after fucking six months, after your chick dumped you, and then like the first thing you saw was a big fucking full moon.

And you're like, the feeling, it's like, that ain't in there.

That ain't in the picture.

That's not in there.

And you're not going to feel that when you see it.

Yeah.

But this is a nice one.

You guys, on New Year's, I mean, fireworks, so that's temporary, but still, it's gone for a while.

Turn around, take a picture, commemorate.

Yes,

that's the kind of thing where you take a picture.

I got advice from some Israeli girl in Myanmar said always be in your picture and put whoever you're with in it too.

Because if it's just a place, you know, the Empire State Building, what's that?

It's true.

You got to be you with this guy I met on the plane and we were hanging out for the day, but here's us in it together.

It's true.

Yeah.

It's true.

Because

it has that emotional effect.

Here's one of my jokes.

Okay.

I know you mean

I don't do this, but this is one of my jokes during COVID.

Yeah.

So think about it now.

Like COVID is happening.

So that's.

You look look like you're running for city council.

We're framing it.

We're framing the joke.

I'm there with my mask.

You kept your mask on until you hit the stage and then you would drop your mask and perform.

That was the rule.

That was the rule.

I love these laws.

We used to have one about underage kids performing at the comedy store.

Nick Yousuf was under 21 when he started.

He wasn't allowed in.

But to perform, you can buck the laws.

You can smoke on stage because it's a performance, you know.

Oh, wow.

So I'd have to lead him as a door guy, my friend from Open Mics.

I'd have to lead him in.

I was 25.

He was 20.

lead him in and come to the stage.

And then, and then, as soon as he was done, I was like, Let's go, let's go.

You're coming with me.

He's like, Give me a second, Ari.

I'm like, Let's go.

So, rules are rules.

That's so great.

Yeah, it'd be great if they really did it up because Shoei's underage and just had him perform in a high chair.

Okay, this is a COVID joke during COVID at Aruba Ray's comedy club in Aruba.

Okay, I feel bad for stalkers.

Yeah, because now they have to stay 56 feet away yeah six feet because of the tiny neighbors but 50 feet because they couldn't handle the relationship and it became a psycho and the fucking courts had to get involved okay

so shout out to the stalkers

not a bad one not bad 56 feet away what's the name of the special again I put it in already, but low-income white.

Low-income white.

Yeah.

What's it on?

It's on Nateland YouTube.

It's called YouTube at Nateland.

YouTube.com/slash Nateland?

It's the Nateland YouTube.

The Nate Land.

YouTube.

You punch in YouTube and then you put Nate Land in.

And Nate has his whole site.

What the fuck is happening here?

And that's my big face, but I look pretty healthy there.

I look much thinner than the pictures that you have of me and Zion.

But look how healthy my skin is.

Nate Land Entertainment.

Nate Land Entertainment.

YouTube, Nate Land.

Oh, it's Nate.

Okay, YouTube.

It's on College.

Oh, come white.

It's already out.

No, it's out Friday.

Oh, this is

when this enters, yeah.

The trailer.

This is the trailer.

Okay, cool.

So it's already out there.

Oh, good.

They're promoting it.

Wow, 4,000 views.

That's more than a lot of specials to get.

Official trailer.

That's so cool.

That's so cool.

Yeah.

Wait, okay, let's go back to Aruba, though.

Aruba.

So,

okay.

They're just in your place.

They're always there, man.

They keep

bringing you back to the fact that they are dinosaurs.

This is a gazebo.

But the gazebo is in the hotel area.

So.

Something about this kind of roof that just screams beach.

You don't need

it.

shelter from the sun, basically.

But my

wife is big on sunblock every morning.

Like now, she's like, do you put sunblock on?

You need to put sunblock on every single morning.

You have bad sun damage on your face, which is a roundabout way of insulting me.

But she just like, she bought me a special, she just bought me a special cream to put on.

The zinc stuff?

No, it's not zinc.

It's like some kind of like...

She bought me sunblock, and then she's like, okay, that might be too heavy for you to use every day.

Here's a lotion that you could use.

But yeah, sunburn is people get torched here because there's a breeze blowing off the ocean and you could really get you could really get screwed up bad.

On a breeze?

You're a white.

Yeah.

I think I'm going to get...

I made a decision when I had like really bad depression and like some sunlight was the only thing that would get me out of it.

I would try to get 15 minutes of sunlight a day.

And then I'd be like, I got to be out in the sun or I'm going to get depressed.

And it was like, you're, I'm telling myself, you're going to get cancer.

And then I made a decision, like, it's better than suicide.

Yeah, suicide now

in my 30s and 40s or cancer later.

That's really great to make that choice.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But that's like a Huberman I got

where it's like, yeah, I get

15 minutes of sun.

I look into the,

they tell you not to look directly into the sun.

He's a guy who is like, get some sunlight.

Yeah, it helps.

It really does.

It's like neurologically proven to counter depression.

So your instinct, I don't know if you went by science, but your instinct was right.

If that's true, you know where I went?

There was this guy.

Do you know who Robert William Mburvaya is?

No.

Well, he just passed.

He was a schizo from the comedy store.

He was an NYU law student and then broke.

Like he had a mental break, L.A.

story, you know, happens a lot.

Right, right.

He lived in the middle of the day.

I mean, I get that.

What?

ah, dude, I get it.

I get it.

I get it.

I get it.

He would close out the open mic night every week, and then he'd get tortured by the other comics because he was so crazy.

They'd go like this, and he goes, You're trying to kill me with a small seismic

slowly.

He would go like this, and he goes, Nazi number one, Nazi number two, Dom Barris.

He hated Dom Barris.

I don't know what they throw chairs at him, but off to the side, so not to hit him.

He goes, You're destroying me.

But he's a full schizo.

But Mitzi was like, Let him close out.

Let him close out.

I don't know if he was ever, whatever.

But in one moment, he would get boners.

Like this girl, Katie, drunk Katie would come in and rub his back, and he would just see him get a boner.

Like, always wear this old green jacket, and he'd stuff plastic bags in his, in, in here, in his lapels, or whatever, to protect him from radiation.

I don't know.

I don't know.

But he told me once, I would give him my roaches at the end of my joints.

I want to go, well, I certainly will.

Me and Rogan gave him one.

He breathed in this thing and just goes,

and just kept breathing in this little roach and just

nothing came out he just he just like developed it into a system enveloped it he was he was crazy i mean legit crazy and and like a weed head and um

he was like he told me once he goes if you get 15 minutes of sunlight every day it's really good for your mental health

That guy's giving you that advice.

I took it.

And now I'm getting backed up from Andrew Huberman.

Yes.

PhD at Stanford.

But

he's like, yes, 15 minutes of sunlight is going to help you every day, but it does let the aliens in.

So that's the counterbalance to it.

It's like, do you want the aliens or do you want peace of mind?

You see in New York sometimes, in between buildings, that slat of light and people will be stopped and just go like this.

They'll just like bathe in the sunlight, you know, for like in the winter.

Yeah.

I just see people.

What?

I just see people buried in their phones mostly, and I get it.

But at the gym, it's like

the worst I've ever seen is

people taking it into the steam room.

I didn't even think that was possible.

I've seen it now.

But now it's like, but it looks like a regular phone like mine, and they're just in the steam room with it with earbuds on it.

Are you crazy?

It's going to ruin the phone.

I thought it would ruin the phone, but apparently the phone doesn't get ruined.

You can't come in here.

It's a sauna.

So that's like your moment to sauna

to be without it.

Right.

You know what I'm thinking again?

This one.

It's not charged.

It's a light phone.

See, it works like a Kindle.

So the light is like a Kindle light.

You know, it's got, I got to do it.

It's small.

It looks like a garage door opener.

It's got regular keyboard, like a phone.

It's got a Maps app.

It's got

a rideshare app.

Yeah.

And it's got

texting.

Phone calls.

I think that's it.

I don't think it's a music app.

That's great.

I mean, can't you just?

I guess you could just delete everything from your phone.

And you can just get it right back again.

Yeah.

In a second, you can get it back.

Right.

This is, you're unable to get it.

The issues with it is no camera would be nice to be able to take a picture.

Right, right.

And I think there's something about like if somebody sends you a picture, you'll just send it to your email and then get it later.

Oh, and no email on here, no apps, no, no, like social media.

You just, it won't allow it.

Wow.

So really, just like people are like, well, I need a phone.

Or I need a phone for my kids.

I got to be able to contact me.

Like, like well this is that's the phone you should get your kids yeah because that's the big thing with schools now where it's like and i used to teach so it's like they have the problem of these kids are always on their phones and then some people have a like they have a pouch they have just pouches where they the kids put their phones in when they come into class or keep it in your locker but that's a fight that they're having because they're like well what if something happens and they need to contact their parents it's like is that really in class right they're like this could be a shooter i'm like and then what's going to be they're going to play by play you the teacher has a phone phone.

Yeah, the teacher.

There's a shooter.

There's someone in control.

That thing of like, well, what if there's an emergency?

I know I don't want to be a geezer and say, like, well, in my day, we just went out on bikes and my parents didn't know where we were.

And they go, yeah, we're not going to go back to that day.

We want someone control of our kids.

Yeah.

I get it.

But like,

I don't know.

It's just like, you got to be in class.

Yeah, yeah.

You got to be in school.

And it hurts your attention span.

I'm speaking from someone who's addicted to my phone.

Like, it's not going to be

true.

It hurts my attention span.

I've been trying to get onto this for two years and unable to get off that to go, let me just do it.

Yeah, it's an issue.

This is another

lizard.

Yeah, wow, hold on.

Hold on.

Look at that, man.

That's

that's I mean, tell me that's not the most beautiful thing you've ever seen.

Look how beautiful the sand is.

Yeah, those hut umbrellas.

Yeah, the palm trees.

I mean, this is like an AI version of what a beach would be.

Yeah.

Wow.

Is that a cruise ship or cruise ships combined?

Cruise ships.

Yeah.

Can you get drugs there?

Like pharmacy drugs?

Yeah.

You can.

I never had to, but I think you can use pharmacies and

had to.

What do you mean?

I had to.

That's.

Who's that?

Thin Mike.

Thin Mike.

We saw Fat Mike, and now there's Thin Mike.

All the nose went, all the weight went to his nose.

I don't know what my

reason was for including that into the.

I think that here's a chair I found.

Oh, wait.

That's me on the porch.

What I would do, I would come out every morning to the porch, and it was overlooking the ocean.

Just like I'm in the middle of the morning.

And I would just do breathing.

I'd do my breathing, my

wim hoff breathing.

Forgive and forget relationship material.

You're a real porch monkey there.

No one uses that one anymore.

No.

This is a prefix.

This is a tasting menu, yeah.

This is the Infiny.

It's one of those tasting places.

What is that?

Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, back up, back up.

Zoom in on that food.

Right?

Oh, they put it in one bite?

Micro-dose.

Micro-dose.

They micro-dose your dinner.

That one looks like an island.

The one in the middle.

I think that's caviar underneath there.

See that?

Oh, yeah.

Wow.

That is really hot.

And they have to go like this and put on a dollop or something.

But to your point, it's like me just taking pictures of food,

it's not as meaningful as if I'm uh it'll remind you of that dish, though, because you had the dish, yes, that's something it's posting it is the problem.

Oh, yeah, yeah, that's when it's like, guys, come on, but if it's a crazy meal, I don't know.

I get

I always feel the need to take the take pictures of uh I love when you get when you go to a high-end restaurant and they bring up something on fire or something like that.

Like, you ready to take a picture?

I can light it.

Like, oh, we're just gonna enjoy it.

And you go,

What?

Like, yeah, I just want to like, and you're like, wow, look at smoking.

Like, they don't even know this picture.

Yeah.

This is a ruberet.

Yeah.

At the witch doctors?

Yeah,

this is us at the.

I still got the mask.

God, he loves.

Huh?

That's a that's an emacerated something, huh?

That's where they, that's like a puff on top of it.

I don't even know.

They use foam in the yeah, the foam.

That's how you know it's a tasting thing.

They use foam.

It's crazy.

Yeah.

These chefs are like, I mean, I get it.

I do get it.

Obviously, you want just burger and fries, just a full meal.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But also, this is.

But you're right.

You go out and eat pizza afterwards.

Yeah, right.

You do the tasting, but you don't rely on it to fill up.

It's about the experience.

And then when they tell you about it, it's so interesting.

Yeah.

And you're like, so you did what?

Yeah, yeah.

There's a story behind this.

This is made with smoke.

Yes.

And the smoke really adds a taste.

You're like, it does.

Like, no, obviously, we can't do this for a whole fucking thing, but.

It's the meal.

That's another.

wow.

And look, what's that?

The size of your fucking finger?

Yeah.

That's how small.

Look at that.

There's so many shredded little.

You know, when me and Bobby went to NOMA in Copenhagen, they got us in.

We told them we're comedians in town.

This is like the number one restaurant in the world for a few years.

Yeah.

And

same kind of thing.

You know,

elevated.

I don't know what they call that kind of restaurant.

And then the guy took us because we found out we were comics.

We're like, but you're top of the waitlist because the waitlist isn't real.

It's not in order.

So like, you're now on top.

And they called us, like, you want to come in for lunch?

Come in right now.

And he was about to eat pizza.

He was out with it.

I was taking a nap and the guy was like, put the pizza down.

Go.

You got to go.

You got to go.

Went in there and the guy was from America, his head chef, his lead chef.

He took us on a tour of the back.

We saw other chefs.

There's so many chefs working.

And they were peeling walnuts.

You know, like the walnuts have a little shell on them, just that thin shell, like the peanut shell.

That's the shell, and then that's the skin.

They're peeling the skin.

And we're like, what is that for?

Does that affect the taste?

And it's like, no, it doesn't affect the taste at all.

Like, what are they doing?

He goes, well, you know what?

You don't want?

It's, you know, you get that stuff, like the finish skin right in your teeth, and it's annoying.

We're not going to have you do that here.

I thought you were going in a different direction with it.

I thought they peel it.

It's like, does it affect the flavor?

No, it doesn't affect the flavor.

We take it, we take the skin and we fry it, and it becomes an oil.

And you use that.

It's like they, there's such attention to detail.

And these are high-level chefs who could own a restaurant in America and will.

Right.

And they're peeling the skin off a walnut for hours so that someone doesn't get it right there and have to go, oh, you got something in your teeth.

That's it.

That's unbelievable.

And it's like, yeah, it's another, it's a different experience than just a burger and fries.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Wow.

There's another experience.

Yeah, the dollops.

But it's in its own uh

so wow, they would catch fish there all the time, huh?

Catch fish, it's everything is like fresh.

This is the

them doing it, yeah, them prepping it.

Yeah, that's how they are.

It's always like 10 guys on something.

These aren't Mexicans in the back of a fucking whatever.

It's so crazy how close it is to Venezuela.

Yep, that guy's doing welding on your food.

That's how you know.

They took in a tour of the kitchen?

Yeah.

Well, it's like these, it's for 12 people.

It's for like eight to twelve people and there's everybody's sitting around and watching them do it everybody needs to the same time yes the courses all come out at the same time the guy makes an explanation

yeah yeah yeah

wow that's fun

they also have trees on stilts what yeah what is this the tree is so big that it's like whatever they have what kind of tree is that a bangin tree no look

I don't know what kind of tree it is, but I know that the tree...

It bends over like that, so they have to keep it up or it'll fall?

Yeah.

The trees are disabled there, Ari.

And they have special parking.

That's you, a chef boy RD, your hero.

What's your father doing here?

Come on.

Terrible acting.

Let me see that again.

What's your father doing here?

Come

It was terrible acting

we get gelato after every meal, though.

You would.

Yeah.

I mean, isn't that fun?

Island life, bro.

Dude, I love gelato.

That's the cool thing about New York that I realized.

I was like, there's so much gelato here that I'm going to bypass ice cream because

I'm going to find a gelato place.

I will watch it.

I feel better about eating ice cream, doesn't it?

It seems healthier.

It seems healthier and ethnic.

Yeah.

It's like I'm experiencing something.

It's like a real sugar Coke.

It's a real sugar.

Like, that's also bad for you.

Look at that one.

He's cute.

This guy lived outside our

hotel room.

Did you name him?

Was his name Nord?

No.

We would check him every day, though.

He lived in the tree on the porch outside of our hotel room.

Wow.

Yeah.

Dude, what a close-up of him.

And not wearing a mask.

So he's actually could have got put in jail.

Then what were the laws there like for that?

It was

because there would be, you remember how it was?

It was like it would calm down for a while, and then there would be an outbreak, so they'd have to tighten it back up.

Island, too.

You're fucked.

It's spreading.

Island.

And so everyone had to have their vaccination card to come in.

And you had to go through all this process to get in.

So getting there and leaving was also, which is another reason he didn't want people coming in and out.

So I was in

French Polynesia

during that time.

Oh, wow.

And you get tested within 10 days, which is crazy because in nine days I can get COVID during one of the heights.

Yeah, none of the science is like, all the science was very ballpark.

Also, like by then, I'll have gotten it and cleared it.

Whatever, whatever.

Whatever.

But anyway, so you had to get tested within 10 days before you went.

You went, when you landed, they tested you right then, one of the fast tests to see if you can actually come in because otherwise they turn you around which nobody on my plane but you're all in a line so if someone if somebody has it they're like then we all have it yeah yeah

but it's weird too what they told but the way they told us it spread like there's no way that you could have like bobby kelly was like

i had it i was sleeping next to dawn she never got it i'm breathing right on that didn't jive with what they told you if you were with anywhere near somebody i have a little bit more compassion than than other people looking at back now because it was just such a confus like no one kind of knew it was scary, and we didn't know.

And then it's like we didn't know, and like things would be revealed new every day.

Because remember, it was like, you need to wear a mask to protect yourself and protect others.

It's like, okay, well, it doesn't protect you now.

It just protects other people.

It's like, well, and then you take it down to eat.

Yeah, all this stuff.

They were

doing their best.

I think we were doing the best we could.

They were like, I don't know, try this.

Yeah.

That's really the vibe.

But anyway, on the way back, they had to get tested to see if you go back.

So at the airport, two guys, unrelated guys, tested positive, and they go, yeah, you can't.

You got to go in a quarantine house.

And they go, your options are, you're paying for it, by the way.

So you're quarantining.

You're paying for it in French Polynesia.

It's incredibly expensive.

And you already used your money for vacation.

Your vacation's over now.

And now you've got to buy an Airbnb in an expensive place.

You guys can share a place.

And he goes, I don't even know this guy.

Like, okay, then you can get separate places.

Then you're each paying for it.

And then the family was like, do we have to stay?

They're like, you can stay.

You can quarantine with them.

you can't go out, or you can go home.

And he was like, Maybe you should go home.

And then the wife and the kids, like, all right, see ya,

I gotta live with a stranger.

It's funny, they put it in paradise, yeah.

These predicaments that you're in, it's like, Look, you could live with this guy.

It's like, when else would you get put in that kind of a predicament?

I was in uh Lakeland,

Florida, Florida.

I was in between Tampa and

Orlando, Orlando, and Tampa.

Yeah, on my way to Tampa.

And Simone was driving me.

I was going to stay at him and his family's house in between.

And I was like, your mom and dad, they were both real close to death with COVID.

So I'm like, I'm not giving them COVID.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's the thing.

It's like, you don't want to give, like, my mother is in her 80s.

It's like, you don't want to give an elderly person in there.

They were pretty much like the doctors were like, hey, call your kids, tell them to come and say goodbye.

Like, you guys, they're done.

So, like,

hurry.

Yeah.

And then something turned them around.

They said it was the fucking cross I gave them from

the Church of the Holy Sepulchre.

Steve's like, I'm going to put that in their hotel.

I'm just going, you turned it around.

It was all you.

Wow.

Yeah.

And I was like,

if you believe in that,

then it's not all.

It's some Jesus.

Right.

You got to give him some.

Yeah, you got to give Jesus some of the credit.

But you, being the second Jew

that has saved people.

Yeah.

So I'm not comparing you to Christ, but he did it.

And then years later, you come through and do it.

That's right.

But anyway, I was like, I'm not going to be.

And then I was like, let's just test.

I got a little bit of a cough.

And then it was like the red line went straight up.

So what did you do then?

So I was like, I don't know how to do it.

I'm like, I'm in nowhere.

Where do I go?

Do I get a hotel?

How do I get food if I'm at a hotel?

Is it seamless?

I'm like, I don't know how to do this.

I think I door dashed.

Yeah, and leave it at the, whatever.

Can I go?

I can't go down to the lobby and and get it.

I don't know how any of this works.

He had a buddy that was like, I'm staying with my mom.

My dad died of COVID, so I'm staying with my mom, keeping her company.

You can use my

this artist guy that lived down there.

You can use my condo.

It's right by a golf course.

Because just go and use it.

So Christian, very Christian guy.

And he's like, totally use it.

I'd love to have you there.

I'll come by and bring food.

I'll make sure you're set.

I'm like, okay.

I would just go walk on a golf course every day at sunset.

It was so nice.

I had such a great experience with it in just paradise.

Right.

I'd go on walks every day.

You sit for a time of self-reflection.

He had a porch.

He goes, you want to bring your weed?

I'm like, I don't think I should smoke.

He goes, edibles.

I'm like, edibles seem fine.

Yeah, absolutely.

And I would just.

What a great situation.

God.

Taking the worst thing and making it the best thing.

Cancel Tampa.

And I was like, push it back, but I can't do it.

Right.

It actually got me to side splitters because I was at the improv and they wouldn't tell any customers that the show show is canceled.

And I'm like, show's canceled.

I'm not doing it.

And they're like, let's hold off.

I'm like, send the email.

People are getting babysitted.

Right, right, right.

And then I'm like, you know, I'm going to Side Splitters next time.

And I'm like, oh, I'm never going back.

The Side Splitters.

The Spider Splits is a great club.

Yeah, one of the top five.

They're unbelievable.

But yeah, it was very much like that to the point where I forgot that.

Where if you got caught somewhere and you tested, then you would have to just stay there for two weeks.

Two weeks.

So it's like

uproot your life right now.

Right, and it's your own expense.

Yeah, you're right.

So yeah, you have to like, thank God you had that.

Thank God.

But you would have been in a hotel.

Yeah, spending money in a fucking days in.

Yeah.

Some shitty hotel.

I couldn't afford it.

But the thing is, it's like you don't want to contaminate someone who's elderly or who has a weak immune system.

100%, you know.

So

that was the whole rub there, which is like,

I can weather this and everybody else can weather it.

But it's like, I don't want to hurt somebody who has a weak immune system.

Yeah.

Yeah, that was the big fear.

Yeah, that's what they said in our acting class too.

They're like don't act from I'll get fired if this happens in your like scenes your improv scenes act from my sister will get fired because everybody can get heroic about themselves.

Yeah, but like you'll actually feel way worse if something bad happens because of you to someone else.

Yes.

You don't want to be responsible for that.

Yeah.

Wow.

That's isn't that beautiful?

Canadian sunny on the back of a boat.

They would take you out?

Yeah.

We went out out a couple times on a boat.

This is why I introduced to Yacht Rock.

I don't know if you're a fan.

I love it.

On Yachts?

Jay introduced us.

Yacht Rock?

Yeah, Big Jay.

Yacht Rock is the greatest.

And they did a documentary.

I watched that on a plane.

A documentary on Yacht Rock?

Yacht Rock.

What?

It's the greatest, man.

Just like the greatest.

And how the artists feel like

there was a thing where they have most of them are good-natured about it, but the lead singer, like Steely Dan, like he's some of these guys are like kind of insulted because they're putting in

Yacht Rock is kind of like a joke genre.

It is kind of a joke genre.

But the artists are so good.

They're documentary.

Like,

what's the dock?

Because it's sitting by the dock of the bay.

What is Yacht Rock?

Steely Dan.

Which, all or just a song?

No, no, no.

All.

Like, there's certain artists that qualify.

Kenny Loggins.

Kenny Loggins is in a lot.

Michael McDonald.

Like, it's, but these guys are, like, unbelievable.

Very, very good.

1919, Steely Dan.

How's that going?

Kiss the sailing.

Yeah, Christopher Cross was a big one.

Roseanne.

Yeah.

Wow.

42.

Hold on.

I mean, Toto.

Toto's a big one.

What does it mean to be Yacht Rock?

It's just nicely played.

It's unoffensive.

What does it mean?

Yeah, it's like soft.

I guess another word for like soft rock, ambrosia.

Yeah, the Little River Band.

Yeah.

Daryl Hall and Jones.

Yeah, a little bit of Holland Oates.

All of Steely Dan.

All of Steely Dan.

But the guy from Steely Dan was like Jerry Rafferty, right?

Yeah.

Down the line.

Yacht rock is a genre of soft rock characterized by smooth, mellow sounds, often incorporating elements of jazz and RB that was popular in the 70s and 80s.

Yeah.

Some well-known songs include Sailing by Christopher Cross.

What a foolbox.

I guess the time period matters, yeah.

Because I grew up, like we grew up during the 70s and 80s.

Wow, Jerry Rafferty, yeah.

Yeah.

But it's very good, and through the documentary, it just, it just, uh, it shows the evolution of it and how it's been brought back as and packaged as yacht rock and how these guys were like

very good artists.

And the fact that it's being put into this like jokey genre is offensive.

There's even a Michael Jackson song in it.

Yeah.

Who decides this song is Yacht Rock?

It's just a vibe, or is it?

I think it was invented by like comedians, kind of invented by putting a captain's hat on and being like, yacht rock.

Like, uh, this is songs for a yacht.

Yeah.

Wow.

Top 100 songs.

What's your wow?

Interesting.

Yeah.

So, so that was on, we played

Yacht Rock on a boat.

It wasn't a yacht, but it was on a boat.

Oh, this is their big port.

Yeah, this is their port.

So Aruba would, I mean, Aruba, whatever, would rent a

call him Aruba?

Can I call you by your first name?

He would just rent boats and like get you guys shit to do.

Well, we'd all go in on it.

You know what I mean?

Like,

he'd be like, do you want to, do you want to

do you want to go on a boat trip today?

Do you want to go?

We would go scuba.

We're not scuba diving.

Snorkeling.

Yeah.

Snorkeling is the less.

You snorkeler?

I do snorkeling, yeah.

I love it.

Yeah.

I mean, you want to talk about meditative, peaceful, it's like you're down there and you're just watching the fish.

And then the sin is that you go eat them afterwards.

The same fish that you're watching.

I don't think it's a sin.

I think it's a good idea.

Let's go back to what the hunter says.

You know what the hunters are always like?

It's more humane because they have a free life versus you want your deer raised in a fucking pen, and mine is like free-roaming cow, who's just out there in the wild.

Somebody has

somebody had that story where they

this, I think this sea animal was injured and they say they brought it and they nursed it back like for weeks and then they put it back into the ocean the fish immediately ate it

somebody had that so somebody's that's just so funny it shows that the no one the food chain is just brutal i was in like a like uh

ipuini whatever ipuini i forget the name of the tribe place up in northern Alaska and they were talking about how when they hunt polar bears.

The first thing they do is after they kill it is go split the windpipe to release the spirit because they want it to go back to their ancestors and they got to really respect the fucking animal.

They're like, it's giving us a coat.

It's giving us intestines for

a jacket.

Yeah.

It's giving us all this stuff.

We got to respect it.

They're not killing a ton.

They're just like when they have to and when they want to for the meat's not great, but like,

but like, uh, they appreciate it.

I think snorkeling is like, yeah, let me see how you guys live.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't just eat you.

I want to see how you came from.

It's a little offensive because they swim by you and it looks like they're just ignoring you.

Yeah.

They're kind of.

like they're kind of like you're not we don't recognize you we don't acknowledge you but uh no it's the most

it's the most fun gosh it really is the most fun you're just down there and you're just like

there's a place in black rock did you do the maui festival with us

but on black rock on maui it's uh there's all you can snorkel whatever there's a big cliff you can dive i think carmen did it I think

I did not,

but anyway, but you can like snorkel and like see them go

and like slam in and go underwater.

It's pretty funny.

But as you're snorkeling, there's these scuba divers below you, and you're like, oh, that's another level.

You guys are 20 feet more.

You have to go to like school and training for that.

I eventually did it, but I love snorkeling.

Yeah, snorkeling is like a less.

It's like you just put it on, they show you what.

What's your best snorkeling spots?

Some memorable ones.

I don't know the names of them.

But like, where?

What do you mean?

Like, where have you liked?

The only time I've ever done it is Aruba.

Really?

Yeah.

Interesting.

Yeah, yeah.

I haven't done it anywhere else.

It's so when you get the tropical fish, it's just like.

Yeah, unbelievable, man.

Unbelievable.

And you can breathe.

Yeah.

You can just like, do you ever freak out?

Do you ever go

fishing?

Yeah, like the same.

You broke the water, cousin.

Oh, yeah, just breathing again.

But it's, it's beautiful, man.

I mean, they're really, really beautiful.

And it's it's like such a fun

It's like such a fun activity

I had one in Indonesia They took us to on the way to Sikomoto Dragons.

It was like we chartered a boat and and we were on the way back to like there's this island we can snorkel it's like three dollar entry fee

and it was so far out and it didn't go down it's with these like channels it was a lot of like corals but like channels so like there was like these kind of tunnels but the tunnels were only like five feet down so you could swim along them

and i chased a fucking giant turtle through them for like

20 minutes, just and he couldn't get away.

Yes, snorkeling.

He couldn't get away because he was also going through these tunnels.

And you're just like following.

And then finally, I popped my head up, and I was like, well, I'm like a mile from the fucking shore.

That's insane.

But it was so, it was, that's my favorite.

What is it?

There's a thing where it's like an old Italian man.

Snorkeling.

Yeah.

Can you cover up those tits and posts?

Yeah.

This wasn't supposed to be on, by the way.

This

ship had sank,

so it's like

you could

see it, and you could go down and like,

you could see it's still there.

Do you do that when you're snorkeling?

Go like, and like dive down for like 10 feet and then come back up, hold your breath for a minute.

Yeah, but I'm always breathing water.

You're going to hold your breath.

Damn, that's the good life.

New York City is expecting a snowstorm.

What are your thoughts?

I think it's really important that you have to

make sure you soak the roads because it can get very slippery.

You son of a bitch.

Yeah, it's like, yeah, I posted that where it's like, it's like zero in New York.

How great does that feel?

It's great.

When you see the tent back home, you're on a vacation, you see the tent back home, and it's horrible.

It's like,

it makes it better.

Yeah.

It makes it so much better.

And everybody, like, everybody was furious.

Yeah.

Oh.

God, it really does make it better.

I had a joke, me and Bobby went to Cuba.

I mean, how many trips have you been on with Bobby?

A couple, actually.

Bobby Callie, right?

Yeah.

Went to Copenhagen, went to Cuba.

I might see him in Guatemala.

Anyway, but they were like, you're going for the election?

They're like, yeah.

I'm like, so what do you?

I was hoping for like civil war here.

And then I'd be in Cuba.

I'd be like, it doesn't affect me.

It's like, it really is the question of like, it's like when it's raining back home when you're on vacation.

That's so true.

If it's zero at home.

It was zero.

And I should have set it up that way.

That it's like, it was zero when we did that.

It's like, it's zero back in.

I thought it was a zero.

And you're on a boat with a shirt off.

Yeah.

It's the best.

God.

months.

This is the other boats of the dock.

There's a restaurant here.

There's a restaurant where you can, when you come in, it's called the Boathouse.

You just eat.

You made an album?

Yeah, I made it.

Oh, nice.

I see.

Oh, nice.

For you'd be tripping.

I love that.

Let me see all these.

I'm going to flip through them.

So you still go back?

Yes.

And you still, what?

That's your spot?

Yeah, I'm scheduled to go back now.

Yeah,

it's my favorite.

And like I said, it's all a rubrere.

You can go and perform.

Oh, that was a beheaded.

That was one of the beheaded ones.

That was supposed to be my beheaded one.

That was supposed to be one of my cliffhanger.

What?

I happened to just see it.

Beheaded from who?

I don't know.

I don't know what the.

What do you mean?

There's a mystery.

Yeah, I know.

But I saw that.

I thought, that's crazy.

I had to take a picture of it.

Is the cartel there?

It must be.

But it's like, it's funny because I took a bunch of pictures of them in their natural habitat.

And then this was supposed to be the M-Night Shyamalong

ending

of it.

This is supposed to be the cliffhanger ending of

the podcast was supposed to arc, where we'd periodically talk about how great these things were, and then this at the end.

What?

Violence.

Lizard violence.

Yeah.

Somebody took his head.

I don't know.

I don't know what happened to him.

A lucky lizard's head.

Yeah.

Epstein.

That's so great.

I love these signs.

They're dumb, but they're the best to take pictures in front of.

The I love some are just the name of the town.

Yeah.

It really is like it's a perfect picture.

I love these.

I wanted to have one of these for this, for this, for like in the corner there.

Just to give you the vibe.

This exact thing.

I'm pointing to New York.

Do you get that?

Oh, I get it.

And it says the miles.

Yeah.

The next time I build a studio, I'm making this.

This exact thing is what I want on that pole, on that fucking heating pole.

No, come on.

Come on.

I'm doing a podcast.

I want to talk to

Central Iceland, New York.

Are you getting a tweet?

Usually it's a fucking

spam from getting Ivermectum one time.

Dude, what is that?

That's us eating on the beach.

This is how your wedding was, too.

Yes.

Eating on the beach, there's something about it with sand under your feet.

Yeah.

It's like,

it's almost like you know that thing where you got to put the towel over your head because it's the most luxurious food, it's like quail or something like that.

And you got to put a towel, it's like baby quail, and you got to put a towel over your head because even God can't see you have this.

That's awesome.

You know what I'm talking about?

No, I'm just hearing about it for the first time, but um,

but this it feels like that eating on the beach,

but um

can I say we that not on this trip, not on this picture, but we did get engaged

think on this in this restaurant.

We got engaged exactly in this restaurant because it was like the corner table next to the, on the outer skirt of the beach.

And I waited for the sun to

when the sun was setting,

my mom and sister, and of course Aruba Ray was there.

And I acted like we were going to take a picture.

I said, okay, let's take a picture.

And I had the camera.

And then I got down and proposed.

Yeah, and this, like,

it's perfect.

It's like a table on the edge close to the ocean as the sun is setting.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You should have had this lady officiate.

Yes.

She would have been great with those earrings.

I think that lady sent everything back that they brought her.

I love those people.

It's not fresh.

Remember, we had to relearn to wash our hands?

Relearned.

20 seconds at least.

Does that include the rinsing?

There's nine steps to it.

I was like, what?

I thought I knew how to doing something that you learned to do when you were here.

Damn.

I mean, this is the fucking life, Mike.

Yeah.

For all of COVID, you went here.

There's a few people I say who won COVID.

Well, I didn't win it.

Because you did.

Well, I won it intrapersonally and whatever, but I thought the people who won COVID were the people who

did a great job of like...

They weren't on stage, so they monetized it digitally.

Sure, Theo and fucking...

I mean, the guys who did it, like, did it amazing.

So those guys, I thought, thought, traditional.

I'm not talking about that.

I'm talking about

spiritually.

I spiritually won Coach.

You, me, Ronnie Chang went to like Australia.

He was shooting a movie in Hawaii, or Hawaii.

He went between Hawaii and Australia and just kind of like stayed.

That's awesome.

Same thing.

Shot a movie and was in Hawaii.

That's beautiful.

But this dude, if this is your COVID life.

Yes.

That's a win.

That's that is a huge win.

That is a huge win because it was freezing in New York.

Freezing.

Wow.

I mean this is paradise.

How much were the umbrellas?

Jews you got engaged there.

Got engaged there.

Yeah.

That's so sweet.

And we were thinking about having a wedding there, but we had to get married in America.

That's just the invitations for the wedding.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Kind of remember that picture.

There's Dan Natterman and a Ruberer.

Chewing up, chewing up a rubber.

So that just goes to show you, it's like the shows are very fun, and then you hang out with other comedians.

Yeah, the hanging out with other comedians makes trips like that really does.

Like, what are we going to do?

Jay's episode.

Jesus, these sunsets must have been great.

Yeah, it was unbelievable.

So that part of the island is just sunset part.

Yeah, it's

like I said, the tourist part, and then the other side is the more underdeveloped.

But

the other side is very beautiful and

more mountainous.

That's probably where I am.

And this is where all the hotel.

Yeah, you would be like on the other side.

I'd go, hey, let's get up for sunrises.

I love the hotel

on the and the like eating on the beach.

Hey, what's Bermuda Shorts?

What is that?

That's a thing, right?

Bermuda Shorts.

No, that's Bermuda.

That's Bermuda, not Aruba.

Yeah.

Okay.

Is that young gage?

No, that's my mother and sister who came to.

What the fuck is this?

My sister and mom and Katie.

This is.

We ate this Italian restaurant.

It's the it's called Nona's.

It's at the bottom of the Ritz.

And

then after dinner, we took a picture of the sunset.

Dude, I mean...

The back.

This actually, we were just talking about how you can't capture a sunset.

These actually are pretty beautiful.

It's actually pretty beautiful.

But it's better with us than it.

Yeah.

But like over the ocean, all these, like, damn.

You're having a blast, bro.

Okay, so let me, can I set this one up?

Yeah.

This is, okay, we're on the beach.

This is, I think, our last trip there.

And this is uh

I

did this documentary: How long does it take my wife to get into the ocean?

So it's just very, it's just like I go right into the water, yeah, if it's cold, like whatever.

The water's not that cold, sometimes it can be colder, but I just jump in.

Yeah, this is how my wife gets into the water.

So, I mean, it's very long,

but it's uh, there's like two parts.

She's working up courage.

It's just, I mean,

she doesn't even know

still thinking about it.

Okay, a couple steps.

I mean, she's not even to the knee.

She just keeps

short.

There's knee.

She's pretty much going.

I can wait as long as you you can.

Yeah, she just

considering it.

She knows it's a little bit of a damage.

She spots what I'm doing.

She's like, god damn it.

I'm thinking about a little more than a minute 38

Yeah, backwards.

Oh my god, it really does take a frick.

This wave is gonna get her.

Just get in.

Just get the fuck in.

There's other people, Katie.

There's other people who are enjoying their lives.

There's a boat.

How long do we stay in the outer?

Okay.

She's shouting obscenities at me, I believe.

I believe.

She's shouting obscenities at me.

Just knocking on her knees to the outfit again.

She is still not waist deep.

She's still not waist deep.

But the amount of torture that she's going through right now.

Just jump it.

You've been in water before you lived in Aruba

she did

we're three minutes of 31 minutes in

I mean I do this to completion man.

Go in!

It's crazy!

Katie, get in!

Katie!

Go in!

It's almost it's almost that wait, wait, wait for it now.

No, no, no, no, no, no, she comes!

No!

She went lazy, and now she's charging towards me.

Charging is the right way to say it.

10 minutes and 15 seconds, and it has afforded the mission of pulling out the water.

No, I know what you're doing.

Not everything is an extreme sport.

Extreme sport!

It's going in the water!

It's the least extreme sport there is.

Not everything's an extreme sport.

I'm asking you to cliff dive.

Go.

This is part two.

It keeps going.

There's old people in there.

Extreme sport.

Come on.

She's at it again.

She's going to get another try to go into the ghost.

Part two of the documentary series, How Long Does It Take Katie Hanigan to get into the Ocean?

I mean, build up the courage.

Oh, yeah, extreme sport, Katie.

She's aware that we are doing a documentary on her, and she did not respond.

There's four old people there.

There's a dude with a bucket hat, two pants,

and then a wide courage.

There's like little kids a foot behind her.

This is five seconds that she has

the entire last four minutes.

It's infuriating.

This is why I did this documentary.

It's infuriating.

It's just like, you're just like, get in.

Get in.

Sometimes I'll be in and I'll be telling her, like, come on.

And she's like, no, I need to make my, I need to do it my own.

Okay, that's pretty far.

For her.

That can't be she didn't get in the other one.

No.

She came and confronted me.

That's why we're doing a part two.

Not anything has to be extreme sports.

That's the deepest she's been in.

Yeah.

The dude here was.

I mean, you can't go where that guy is.

Katie, Katie, do it.

Katie, do it, Katie.

Fucking do it.

Come on, Katie.

There it is.

Okay, it hit her waist.

Waist deep.

It hit her waist.

She's got to know it's about to happen now.

Oh!

Boob's got to be cold for a chick.

Yeah.

The way Dick is for a boy.

Dive, Katie, dive.

Dive.

But imagine how painstaking this

Wouldn't you just sink down?

Just

one thing would be in the bed.

Let's see.

And like, she's graduating diving.

Almost like she comes to herself.

Oh, my God.

It's wild.

And she still has not gone all the way out.

And you know this isn't the first time if you're already making the she does this every time she goes in the water.

Every time.

Go, Katie.

Go.

She's so close.

Just

so close,

just act like you're a fucking Italian at the altar.

Just drop.

There it is.

Do it.

Do it.

Do it.

I mean, you're in.

Okay.

And now she's doggy paddling.

That's crazy.

She exploited.

And

She's so proud of herself.

With the other video, it took seven minutes.

It took seven minutes and 34 seconds.

Two videos.

Seven minutes and 34 seconds for her to get into the water.

Wow.

And this is the Arubin Army.

Wait, that's crazy.

What the fuck's wrong with her?

This is every time she gets into the water.

That's what it is.

That's what it is every single time she gets into the water.

I have have a tip.

We do travel tips in this show.

Okay.

This is not a travel tip, but you know how you piss in the water?

Yeah.

Piss by the water.

Force her in.

No, no, no.

This is for yourself.

Oh.

You know, when you're like, I got a pee.

Yeah.

I'm not going to go all the way back there.

I'm going to go in the water.

Yeah.

Piss.

And then, like, you know, or at least go up to your waist.

Right.

You know, piss by the water.

It's so much more fun.

So you're up to piss ankles in the water.

Your chick can see you behind you.

Just start pissing.

Let her run down your legs and then go in the water.

She'll see it.

If you're standing right next to her, like, hey, Katie, hey, Katie, and just let it's so much grosser, but it's the same thing.

You're about to go in the water.

Right, right.

It's so fun.

It is so much grosser.

You're right.

Piss by the water.

But I think that I would either get her to.

You think she would get in the water faster if she saw that?

Yeah, piss and try to come and hug her or something.

Chase her in.

That's such an Ari solution to the problem.

That's good Ari problem solving.

That's a travel tip.

That is a travel tip.

It's the Arubin Army.

Wow.

What do they just throw sand at people?

This is outside of our.

These kids, like, what the fuck?

Who are they beating?

This is some parade.

I don't know.

It was happening right outside balcony.

So, of course, I had to take video of it.

Fat.

This guy is.

Oh.

But you conquested the band.

That's cool.

It seemed like an appropriate way to end the

podcast.

Yeah.

Well, to end the picture video collage portion of it.

I love a beach.

What's the vibe like after you're in a place like that for that long?

How relaxed are you?

You're so relaxed, and then you come back to New York, and it's like, all right, we're getting back.

What's the reintegration like?

Especially after you're in the city.

I mean, I think you mentally brace yourself for what's about to happen when you come back.

You know what I mean?

It's like, okay, like I was at this place for a long time and it's like, I'm so relaxed and whatever, but it's like,

I don't know about you.

I don't know about other people watching this, but like I'm a routines guy.

Yeah.

So it's like I have a certain routine there that I get up and follow every day.

And then when you get back to New York, it's like, okay, the scenery has changed, but it's like, I get, I'm comfortable getting back into my routine.

I get overwhelmed for a day or two.

If I'm so locked into the vibe of another place, a very chill place.

It's like, forget six months in Ecuador.

I mean, like a week or two or even like being in Europe on a tour for a month.

I'm just like, oh, fuck, fuck.

It's a lot.

It's a lot.

It takes me, it takes some time to reintegrate.

Yeah.

Well, a part of it is, too, you travel a lot and I travel a lot where it's like

eating restaurant food all the time.

It's like there's like someone else is cooking your food, so they're using oils, whatever, you know, into the food.

So you get back and it's like you start cooking for yourself again, and you start, like,

that's a thing and start feeling better that way, you know, because eating, like, we had a restaurants the entire like three months.

Yeah.

Wow.

Yeah.

I mean, less,

it's less fun, but somebody else is always touching and making your food versus making your food yourself.

I never make my own food.

Oh, you don't?

You all.

Rarely.

If I get, like, a HelloFresh

sponsor, I will, but that's about it.

Occasionally, I'll throw some spaghetti on or some, or eggs.

But, like, um, yeah, when I came back from Southeast Asia, I spent a week trying to get someone to say hello back to me after I said hello to them

because that must have been there.

There's a big culture of good afternoon, good morning, good evening, in whatever language, as you pass Latin America.

Buenos Tares, Buenos Ares, Buenos Noches.

Strangers.

Strangers.

You just pass, like, buenos noches, buenos noches.

And like in the middle of me and you will be talking, and then some young kid or old lady will walk by, you know, like, and then then i'll totally

and they're back to like her conversation

you just do it yeah

there's such a culture in new york too i find when i'm in other places like it's like if somebody comes and talks to you you're much more open to be like yeah like but there's that initial new york thing it's like what do you want what do you want what do you want because it's always like in new york for the people living in uh other places it's like people will come up to talk to you but there's always an ulterior motive so it's like they'll say something and then it's like okay now this is my agenda.

Pre-sale.

Yes.

So that gets exhausting after a while.

But when you go to a place and somebody's like, nice day today, it's like, what, dude?

It's like, well, no, it's a nice day.

And you're like, yeah.

And

it's like, what's next?

And they're just like, no, it's nice, dude.

I find it now.

We just moved and it's like in the elevator.

Like, we didn't have an elevator.

It's a fourth floor walkup where we were living.

So the elevator, it's like, you know, I got to get my small talk game up.

You got to get it up.

Yeah, because

and it's good because we're right now we're in a heat wave.

Yeah.

So it's like weather's great.

Yeah, yeah, but that's a good talking point.

It's like, wow, hot enough for you?

That's a good start one.

Desi Slay has a bit about it.

It's like, you know, people hate small talk.

Talk about the weather.

It goes, I love small talk.

Weather's a great topic, and I enjoy it every time.

It's hot today.

Yeah, it sure is.

You know, it was hotter yesterday.

It was hotter yesterday.

We both have a shared experience.

You got to get small talk up.

New to the building is a good one.

Just personally, I'm telling you, oh, you're new here?

And they're like, no, I've been here for two years.

Like, oh my God, I haven't run into you.

What's your name?

I'm going to forget it.

Right.

The good thing about that is people love to give information out.

It's like, especially like older people,

they love to give information out.

So I had a thing before where I would just, if like a security guard or an older doorman, I would be like, hey, can I smoke in here?

And they would be like, no, you can't smoke in here.

I'd be like, oh, well, thank you.

It's like, just inform, they want to give information.

It's like, you know, so it's like, let them give information.

Yeah.

Where's the laundry room?

It's like, well, you got to go down.

You got to do that.

It's like, oh, well, thank you.

You really helped me.

It's like, they feel good.

That is one.

If I was new to a building and I'd be like, oh, hey, like, if somebody like you were like new here, I'm like, yeah, yeah, I'm trying to get, and you'd be like, do you know how the world laundry works?

Like, no.

Like, oh, you got to call in to put money in your car.

Oh, really?

That's crazy.

Yeah.

And then, like, three, four, five.

Well, this is my floor.

It's like, all right, I'll see you.

Nice to meet you.

Yeah.

What is it?

Mark?

Mike.

Oh, well, nice to meet you, Mike.

You got to get your small talk game up.

Yeah, I got to get the small talk.

And it's enough.

Otherwise, you just like.

Plus, once you've already seen somebody three times and haven't talked to them, it's going to be that for years.

Now you're not allowed to talk to them.

Yeah, yeah.

So get the small talk game up.

But the name thing is important.

Like there's doormen now.

So it's like,

I want to remember the doorman because there's that window of opportunity where you learn their name.

Make a note.

And then after that, it's like, I do that on the road.

On the road.

I do that on the road do you ever do that on the road where it's like host and feature um host video wait staff from there because i'm gonna go back you know i'm gonna be like fuck so i try to go i could look up i you know i look up uh you know whatever club denver comedy works i'm like oh this waitress is that that waiter is this just like so i can go like oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah because by the end of the week you know the name and then a year and a half passes right

well i mean i forget i'm not as good as that like i forget right immediately people introduce themselves you're still getting acclimated it's like i'll forget right away so i'm like what's your your name?

And then I'll write it down: host, feature, waitress, whoever's managing, sound guy.

So just I keep it all in my phone for that, you know, because when you go back in a year, it might be different.

There's a lot guys who are like, like the headliners that you worked with when you were starting, you know, and like, like, hey, Tom, play that song.

And you're like, how do you know his name?

Right, right, right.

It's crazy.

Like, oh, I've been here.

I'm like, it's so cool.

Yeah.

You're just like, you're part of this family.

Yeah.

I have an East Village list of like people, so it's like, get their name, and then I write it down.

So then I go, this place, this guy's name.

So when I go, like, oh shit, they're there, and I can look it up while they're getting my order.

I'm like, thanks, Kenny.

I got it.

I don't want to forget it again.

It's so lame.

Well, I saw that with you when I was opening at the Comedy Works for you.

It's like everybody loved you.

First of all, you sold out every show, so they love that.

Like you're helping the economy of the play.

You know what I mean?

I have a good temperature.

But it's like, yeah,

and they love, they just, they love you.

I get that so much.

And afterwards, it's like, I'm ready to go go.

It's like, no, no, no, we're hanging out with the staff.

Like, I'm hanging out a little bit.

Just like you were kind of like informally, just like kind of talking to everybody

at the end of the weekend.

And then I was like, oh, aren't you going?

Because most guys are like out of there.

But you were like, at the end of the weekend, it's like they took that picture on stage and then everybody's like kind of a hang with you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So that's very nice that you do that.

They do an open mic now because a lot of the staff are comics now.

And you do an open mic and then Colin did it and then I did it.

Was that Column?

Yeah, maybe.

And like, I was like, Yeah, sure, I'll go up too.

And it's like, Open Mike to the staff.

It was like, This is rough.

But yeah, you got to do a different joke.

Yeah, I've been there so long.

That is my road home.

Is it

I go there every year?

Yeah.

And if I can't, if I don't have a new hour, I'm like, I'll do a storytelling show where we'll all come together and do something like that.

But you can tell the staff

genuinely loves you there.

I had a street going of consecutive openers that got headline work afterwards that I was really proud of.

It was like you, Norman, List, Sean Patton, Simone,

I'm trying to think who else, O'Neill.

Yeah, actually, I headlined there after.

He was part of this thing, and I was like, I felt really good.

And I was like, I'm going to bring a guy that could headline here.

And then Wendy was always like, yeah.

That's fantastic.

So before we go, I got to wrap this up.

We got a fucking meeting in three minutes.

What country do you you want to go to, and do you have any travel tips?

Because you did this thing where we did it on Skeptic Tank, R.I.P.

about China, your trip to China, which is a pure classic fucking this podcast episode.

Absolutely.

But we did it on that one.

Dude, can I say that the trip to China was one of the most amazing things?

And a trip to China was pre-COVID.

And also, I went to Israel.

And that was those two places in pre-COVID and pre-conflict.

Like,

unbelievable, both places.

So.

Where do you want to go?

What's calling you next?

Obviously, you want to go back to Spain.

I was just in Europe

opening for Nate Bargatzi.

He did a European tour.

Rules.

I think I would like to

Russia.

Russia, really?

Just to see it.

And

I'm very interested in it.

And

also India.

Yeah.

It's surprising.

Those are the two.

It's so dirty, that's That's surprising to me that that's calling you.

Yeah, yeah.

Russia and India.

India, I'm so conflicted on.

What calls you about India?

I've just never been to that.

I mean, I went to China, and that was like interesting, but India is like a different culture, and I just,

I don't know, man, it would be really, it's just somewhere I've never been in the call.

I've never, I've heard, read stuff about it, but I've never

been anywhere over there there's runs they have runs now really yeah there's a few clubs now english speaking well it's english colonized you know

so they have like clubs and there's a there's runs where you can make like not a lot of money but enough for a flight and like three days in new delhi three days in bangladesh or whatever there's a bangladesh i met the guy at the stand who runs it runs a club in bangladesh oh really

because some of those some of those china clubs were incredible yeah They were awesome.

Yeah, yeah.

Like small, little rooms, whatever.

And I saw the pictures and the videos from it.

they're unbelievable.

So, India would be cool.

Um, also, because I'm a huge fight fan, yeah, I'm a huge boxing fan.

They're doing a lot of fights in Saudi, yeah, they are.

So, I would love to go to Saudi also.

Interesting, yeah, that's funny.

That's three countries that

off the beat don't want to go to now, yeah.

Where do you want to go?

India calls me of the most of those, yeah.

Russia, I don't know, I'm not against it.

Also, because the United, like the uh, you know, Columbus, they're all trying to get trying to find India.

You know what I mean?

Like, yeah, trying to find India.

Let's go this way.

What the fuck?

Trying to find India and the spices.

That's why they called Indians because they're like, we found it.

India.

They look different.

I heard they look browner.

I guess that's right.

Yeah.

But it's the spices that drew us where it's like, we need these spices in Europe.

They were like, our food is so bland that we need spices.

So they had to venture to India.

They were looking for India.

So it was spices that was the um motivating factor around here this is so dangerous here and then up to there wow to go to the fucking slums of mumbai um you got any travel tips

general or specific like when in a rubo always do this or or like pack light in general or whatever i always i always pack I always pack light and then you can always do laundry.

You can always do laundry.

That's it, just to carry on.

I went through

I did bases in Japan, Korea.

I always carry on, pack light, because you can always do laundry.

The thing you told me in China.

Make sure you bring a travel pack of tissues.

When you needed it, you realized.

Absolutely.

I stocked up with tissues.

Yeah.

That is, yeah, I will abide by that again.

That's number one for China.

Probably India too.

Bring a little packet of tissues.

You're going to get diarrhea.

There will be no toilet paper.

Have them with you.

The other one is,

I think those were the two.

Oh, that's great.

Pack Light.

That's great.

Big tissues.

The special again, Mike.

You were one of the best comics in the country.

You're like, legitimately, I'll say it more off air because I know this gets embarrassing, but you're kind of an inspiration in terms of your writing and just the amount of commitment you have to a bit.

Writing in a fucking mega bus for just for research for a bid is so fucking high level.

Thank you, buddy.

Yeah, it's like, wow, I got to like commit more.

And thank you for always helping me.

And thank you for always promoting this stuff.

I appreciate it.

What's it called again?

Hold on.

Low-income white.

Low-income white.

Is now on Nateland.

There'll be a link at the bottom of the screen.

Or if you're watching on Spotify.

Mike Vecchion, one of the best.

Thanks for coming.

Thanks for doing it.

And it really did make me, I got to go to Aruba.

It looks like a lot of people.

You You got to go to Aruba now, man.

It's the best.

Yeah.

This is like the quality of this podcast is if I finish one, I'm like, I want to go there.

And this did make that.

Yeah.

All right, buddy.

One happy island.

All right.

Oh, hi, everybody.

Well, that's the episode.

Thank you very much, Mike Vecchion, for coming in.

Everybody, make sure to go check out his special low-income white.

It's available on youtube.com/slash at nateland right now.

And go please leave a comment to let him know to help the algorithm, I'm sure.

But at least I'm related to this podcast so he knows it resulted in him getting his reviews.

Guys, legitimately, he's hilarious.

And you guys are going to love it.

Also, see him in Hartford, Nashville, Des Moines, and

Tempe, I think.

One other place.

Next week's episode, Joe DeRosa comes on to talk about China.

That's right, the dark continent.

So subscribe wherever you're watching or listening so that you get notified of these things.

There's also a reminder bell.

So it's like beyond subscribing.

Subscribe does, I think, pretty much nothing.

I'm off the road, so I got nothing to promote.

Except that.

Except subscribe to this podcast.

Tell a friend about it.

Also, don't forget to get your Ubi Trippin'

shirts and stickers.

And I want to see these stickers out in the wild.

You know, wherever you are.

Fucking.

Put one on a pyramid, you know, put one on something crazy.

Take a picture and

tag the Ubi Trippin' pod Instagram account.

Heather and Caitlin will look at it.

They'll start posting them.

I'd like to see them out in the wild, some of these stickers.

And the clear one, please put in your passport

and then fill up the stamps around it.

And get a UB Trippin' shirt because

you'll be the talk of the town in your hostel.

They'll be like, what is that?

Like, it's a travel podcast.

I'm like, we're traveling right now.

Like, yeah, well, guess what?

I just became the hero of this fucking hostel.

Today's episode is uh edited by alan caffeine just produced by your mom's house network they are the number one name in fart humor online uh look no further than your mom's house network to get the most scatological humor outside of a stage at skank fest i'm ari shafer and i stand by that um

god what a time what a time to go to a ruba i forget all of them whenever he's been there but during that covet time we're just staying there it really is there's this like special thing that happened in covid

i i call them like specific times You can't recreate that, you know?

Like Yoshi, he'll be doing an episode coming up about Afghanistan.

He was there during, in Kabul,

during the American, like, when we had it.

And that city's gone now.

It's just not like that anymore.

It's the one I compare it to most is, and I won't get this on, but it's like a Nazi or a German soldier during the occupation of France.

And I'm not talking about the hunt for the Jews, you know?

Run Miriam or whatever that is.

No, I'm talking about when all the Jews have been found and they've been taken care of to their desire.

You know, I don't agree with it, but you know, they got the job done.

Once those are all gone, now you're just fucking baller.

You got nothing to do.

It's just pretty much run Paris.

You go to a fucking bakery and be like, can I get a baguette?

And they're like, sure, it's $3.99.

You're like, oh, I'm sorry.

What does that say?

S.

SS.

Would that do for payment?

And they go, oh, you know what, officer?

Why don't you just take one?

We love you guys here.

God, what a time that would have been.

I mean, obviously, not if you're French, but you're visiting France.

So what a trip.

And there's specific ones.

I was in Ecuador when

the Amazon opened up right after COVID.

I was the only place

in a lodge.

The only guy there.

It just opened literally that day.

And I was like, I'll make a reservation and go in.

I didn't realize what I was getting.

Karina and Christina going to Tulum.

It's not great for the equipment.

When everyone was leaving for COVID, it created a really special time and place.

I I knew a guy who got stuck in Turks and Caicos, having threesomes all day,

and swimming and diving on beaches where nobody was.

And it should have been an overrun place, but no one was there.

Anyway, interesting tale.

That's it, everybody.

I guess I do want to go to Aruba.

It sounds like a good vacation spot.

Not exactly my vibe, I'll be honest with you.

Not exactly my vibe, but it's kind of like first class.

I'm not like an all-pay for first class guy but when i get bumped up um

for sure i don't mind it for sure i'll take it i'm like this is worse i did it once actually they had me sitting next to some stranger with shane and mark in front and then me behind and sitting next to a stranger but all these open rows and i was like i'm just gonna get my own row back in uh

you know premium low-class premium and mark and shane like that's crazy like but you guys are talking i can't talk what am i gonna lean over the seat

and then i realized i didn't get a fucking meal shane the stewardess is back to talk shit, but

she was cool.

She brought me a meal.

Give it up for Delta.

Yeah, that's it, everybody.

Hope you enjoyed.

Get your shroom fest, sure.

Also, shroom fest, if you don't know, it's just an international holiday to appreciate mushrooms.

All you got to do is to participate, just like every year, it moves around every year.

But all you got to do to participate is take mushrooms.

It's just an excuse to take mushrooms.

And people all over the world, all over the globe, are doing it at the same time.

If you believe in mushrooms unifying each other on another plane of existence, well, Schumfest is a great time for that.

This year is September 6th, 7th, and 8th.

That means at one point during that time, it's a 24, 48, 72-hour time.

And you just got to take mushrooms once during that.

The reason it's September this year is we go by northern hemisphere first.

We go by the longest weekend of moonlight in the summer in the northern hemisphere.

So it shifts around.

If a full moon is on a Tuesday, that's not as good as a full moon being on a Sunday.

That'd be ideal.

Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Mondays for the comedians who are on the road to be able to do a fucking heavy dose of mushrooms.

Everyone, if you want to take a light dose, do a light dose.

It's Shroom Fest, everybody.

And every year, Lee and Gwynn makes a t-shirt at Abracadaver on Instagram to help commemorate.

And if you pre-order it right now, they will ship out in mid-August and you will get it so you can be able to wear it on Shroom Fest if you like.

I still wear mine from years past.

Really cool design.

Put that design up real quick.

See?

Isn't that cool?

Take mushrooms, everybody.

It's fun.

Also, the U-by-tripping shirts.

Oh, I already said it.

Grinders, stay positive shirts.

Go for a hike shirt.

Also a good one.

And that's it.

I think we've said everything we have to say.

I know there is something I'm missing, but I'm busy.

I'm busy doing low-income white stuff.

Go check out Mike's special right now.

Guys, I'm Ari Shafir.

Until next week, when we go to China,

what how do you say goodbye in aruba oh the point is listen i would take a free trip to aruba it does seem relaxing it's not my level of adventure so i'd say for this one

it doesn't make me like i gotta

get there the feeling you get

oliver tree is gonna come on and do an episode and he told me about like inner china And it made me go like, I actually have to make a trip there.

It looks so fucking cool.

Sabbatical came in.

We got a lot of good ones.

we got a lot of good ones

yeah a lot of good ones are coming up um

all right guys until next week bye

oh sorry i gotta break in i almost forgot a congratulations on order of sorts that's right the state of origin 2025 has taken place and for once the good guys win that's right The Queensland Maroons take it this year.

If you don't know, the State of Origin is a,

actually, quite a sporting event indeed.

The jersey I have behind me in this episode and many other episodes in the studio is of the Queensland Maroons.

They are the good guys.

And they fight every year in a three-game match, state versus state, mate versus mate, to decide who is the better person.

And this year, the good guys won.

New South Wales is known for cheap shots,

and just in general, racism.

And this year, the good guys from Brisbane took it home.

Yeah, Brisbogans.

They're good people.

They would never leave uneaten food in front of their mother.

You know, they finish with their plate.

They're good customers.

They get drunk on weekdays.

They live to tell about it.

They're all about buckets when they go traveling.

If you meet anyone from Brisbane, well, at a hostel, you've got a friend.

And if he's like, or she, or they, or like, hey, I don't feel like going out tonight.

And go, oh, damn, that's too bad.

I heard they have.

buckets

at this place.

Well, I'll tell you, they're gonna come out.

Because people from Queensland are good people.

They're hardy and they're real.

And people from New South Wales, Wales, excuse me, they like to children.

Yeah, they like to

children.

That's what they're all about.

They're Sydney.

They're uppity.

They're a fucking hoity-toity.

They're like, you know, the fucking, they have no relation to the country folk the way people from Queensland do.

So congratulations once again to the Maroons on your victory at State of Origin.

Wish I could have been there to cheer you on.

I was there for your victory last year, and it was quite a sight.

Yeah.

Until next year, boys.

Ozi, ozozi, oio, oi, oi, down with Sydney, up with Brisbane.

Yo.