Ecuador w/ Joe List & Sarah Tollemache | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

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Can you cut that for me?

I still want to do whales.

I'm going to have Sarah and I.

That was the best ship we ever did.

No, don't you?

I actually thought this is what we were doing.

We could do that.

We could do whales.

We can't just call it.

But no, let's just do Ecuador.

We haven't even started yet.

This was the plan.

No, Ecuador is fine.

What was the plan?

Because we had a lot of funny stuff altogether in Ecuador.

Yeah, we could do whales if you want.

No, let's do Ecuador.

But we'll come back.

Can't we come back again?

Yeah, for sure.

That's one of the fun things about this podcast.

Or we could do whales in whales.

Whales in Ecuador, you mean?

Whales in Wales.

If we go over while you guys are over oh whales in whales yeah whales in whales yep yep let's do whales in whales let's take a little uh little jaunt a jaunt that's a great idea where you been and where you going

this is our race travel show yeah we're gonna talk about travel today it's you be trippin

yeah

Welcome to UV Tripping, everybody.

It's a travel podcast.

Every week it's a different guests.

Today, two guests

that took one trip.

But we're kind of one, if you think about it.

You have a union.

We have a union under the Lord.

Yeah.

No Lord.

We did not involve the Lord.

You were there.

Bobby Kelly married us, for God's sakes.

Bobby Kelly married you.

It was always a mistake.

Yeah, I fucked up.

That was my bad.

Now I don't even like him.

Oh, it's terrible.

I know.

I know.

Sarah Tolomash.

Right.

Hilarious comic from New York City by way of Houston.

And Africa.

And Africa.

Right.

I'm a refugee.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Were you worried about Trump?

This is like my favorite was when like Stop Asian Hate happened, and the Indians were like, Yeah, it's tough for me.

Like, shut up.

Right.

You can't join in on this one.

You're like, I am.

I too.

I too am technically Asian.

Right.

I am an immigrant.

And Joe List.

Hi.

Stand-up comic, new special out right now.

What's on the number of the time this comes up?

I know, because he didn't tell me.

Well, I forgot.

I didn't bother you.

Called

Joe List, sitting on faces.

What?

Small ball.

Small ball.

Also known as.

You're very judgmental.

If I tell you what I'm doing, you go, that's stupid.

What the heck do you think?

I just don't tell you.

I've never ever said a special is stupid.

You go, why are you doing it like that?

Yeah, that's true.

With that fucking chin list, why not go add a chin feature?

I'm thinking about it.

Joe, a trippy award, a returning trippy award.

When do you want a trippy award?

Did I?

2024 trippy award.

I did.

Yeah, worst sexual adventure.

What?

Worst sex, not getting laid on the Inca Trail.

I know.

I fucked up so bad.

I'm such an idiot.

Oh, you went with his ex.

I just reconnected with her, by the way.

And I brought it up.

I'm like, God, I should have made a move.

And she's like, no, you shouldn't have.

And I was like, all right.

But we stepped in a fucking.

I didn't really bring it up, by the way.

We slept in a two-person romance tent, and I just sat there like an asshole.

What's that?

It's a trippy award.

Really?

Yeah.

Oh, my goodness.

You're serious?

We don't have room.

We do.

Sarah, man.

I'm like getting what?

This is my wife in a nutshell.

I'm getting an award.

I'm touched.

Yeah, but our place looks getting hoardery.

It's getting touched.

It's getting hoardery.

It's not hoardery.

This is beautiful.

Are you kidding me?

We can put that on the shelf by your hockey.

Did people vote for this?

No,

we had nominations.

We're sex.

We're sexual adventure.

Yeah.

Not getting laid in the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu.

Oh, this is great.

I got to reach out to her.

Do you want to thank anybody?

That's weird.

This is written on the other side of the world.

I want to thank my parents for giving me no self-esteem to make a move with my ex-girlfriend 4,000 miles away while we slept in a romance tent.

We had like the mosquito net.

Not the mosquito net, but like a romantic net.

You know the whole story.

I told it.

It's a mosquito.

And I just saw this podcast.

I just sat there and not, I was like, oh.

Good night.

It's a diarrhea.

It really took a lot of lot out of you.

I should have, at the very least,

her.

I mean, we're there.

We're in a tent.

Where's she gonna go?

Call the cops.

We're in Peru.

Where's she gonna go?

This shit's legal in Peru.

Yeah.

Did I just get us demonetized?

I'm only kidding.

This is really meaningful to me.

I appreciate it.

Really?

Yes.

Nice.

I like this.

Nice.

Well, I have an award to my special this year's material.

I won a big award.

A webby.

It's like a website.

Was it a webby?

Something like that.

It wasn't a webby.

It was something.

It was a TV ward.

Oh, come on.

This is really nice.

Thank you.

Can I say Ecuador?

We're going to Ecuador.

You guys were the only ones to come.

I was there for six months.

Everybody's like, let me know when you're at the beach.

Let me know when you're in the mountains.

Let me know when you're at the Amazon.

Everyone's like, well, we have so much time now because of COVID.

No one came.

And it was

the travel was relatively easy.

No one on the plane.

There was like two other people.

It was an empty plane.

It wasn't even relatively easy.

It was spectacularly easy.

We took a private jet to fucking Peru.

I mean, there was like 11 people on the plane.

I don't know.

I'm so surprised that the airline went ahead with that.

They should just be like, nah, we're not, we're not going.

Because it was pre-vaccine, too.

Pre-vaccine.

And we landed and everyone was in like hazmat suits, like outbreak.

What did we have to get vaccinated?

We had to get something to show up.

A test, right?

A test.

It's crazy this wasn't this long ago, and it's tough to remember all these little

situations of whatever ideations.

We did not have to get tested because when I landed, at that point, I still had not been tested because people were freaking me out about the test.

They said it goes up in your nose.

It goes

the longest without getting a test, because it freaked me out.

And I remember landing and being very nervous that they were going to test us, and they didn't.

We just walked right in.

That's fine with the AIDS test.

100%.

We did nothing.

You just walked right in.

And you guys were late picking us up.

That's how it started.

We land in a third world country.

We got three months to plant.

We're the only ones that came.

And we're just sitting there like idiots without a piece of cake.

That's a lie from Seifel.

But like we're just sitting there and I'm like, where are you?

Oh, it was so frustrating.

It was, it was like, we got to go, we got to go, we got to go.

And then it's like, and then we went the wrong way on a thing.

We're like, oh, this is like the scariest thing to land.

It's not JFK.

No, I find airports.

I had this in Costa Rica.

Couldn't find the airport.

Eventually, this lady on the road figured out that we were in distress and was like, follow me guided you yeah thank god it was a lady i don't know what were you expecting going into ecuador because you'd never i mean

similar

i didn't think

i went in open-minded i guess meaning like

i just yeah i just i wasn't nervous i think a lot of people get nervous when they go to especially foreign-speaking countries well the weird thing was it was covet and everyone at that it was very early so it was still like if we get covid in ecuador Ecuador, are we gonna die of fucking like whatever?

And then James Patterson, our buddy, who lives in Key West, hilarious comedian, he's like a world traveler.

I'm gonna get another bowl.

Bowl?

Yeah, for my own ash.

For your own.

Oh.

I keep talking about James.

Rules.

Great guy.

And he's a world traveler and a drunkard adventurer.

And he was like...

Before we left, like, looked us in the eyes and was like, guys, seriously, be careful down there.

And I was like, oh my God, is this crazy?

Because again, like, it's don't, if you're listening to the story, don't look at it as like 2025, COVID.

We overreacted.

We're idiots.

This was like the heat of the heart of COVID.

Yeah, no one was traveling yet.

I thought, but I had, there was a part of me that felt cavalier.

Like, aren't we cool for doing this?

I mean, it seems dangerous and reckless, but now looking back, you're like, it was totally fine.

And I, after that and several other trips, I was like, it's the easiest time to

look back.

That's the thing.

It's like, it really, it was so easy.

Yeah.

Well, open seats.

You remember the open seats?

Yeah.

It was all open seats.

It's all down the middle.

There was no middle seats because you'll be too close.

And meanwhile, somebody's coughing on your neck.

Right.

Like, you can still feel your feet over the thing.

But they always act like you can't really get COVID in the air, even though there has been planes that the whole plane just gets diarrhea on a five-hour trip.

Yeah.

That you're like, so how does that happen?

But we can't get COVID up here.

And then you guys were already there, and it just felt like, okay, they're there.

Somebody's there.

I always feel that way with travel.

I'm like, well, somebody went there.

A white person went there.

That's how Obonaru was where they're like, could you imagine sleeping in the tents?

You're like, well, 80,000 people do.

It's not like everyone's doing it.

It's not like three homeless guys are doing it.

Yeah.

And yeah.

I've been everywhere.

When we went there, it was just like, I might not come back.

We didn't know how bad it was going to get, COVID.

Well, you're a not come back kind of guy.

No, but it was also like, remember, they said, like, the flu and COVID together is going to be the super thing, and it's going to just kill humanity.

Well, you know, it was like, oh.

Was that after the BLM?

Because there was a moment after BLM where I'm like, all right, if we're all hanging out in huge groups and it's game on, I'm doing whatever.

Thank God for the blacks and their troubles.

Really?

That's something

they went in like canaries in a coal mine.

We had the funniest because we were staying at that point in the COVID, we were staying in Louis's fucking massive house, Louis C.K.'s massive house out in

Shelter Island.

It's fine.

Yeah, we were out in Shelter Island and staying there, and then all the riots and everything was happening.

And then we went back to like a barbecue, and people were like, Were you at the march?

And we were like, no, we sat it out.

We were on Shelter Island, like rowing around in a mansion.

And I'm like, no, we were kind of making for you.

You were those people at 9-11 that were looking at from across the water?

Yeah,

like we did.

No.

In fact, we didn't even cross our mind to go there.

We didn't think twice.

I didn't want to be in the way.

I didn't want to be in the way.

That's so funny.

Yeah.

So, okay, you're right.

So I would like to apologize for not picking you guys up on time.

And it was like 45 minutes

out of the gate, too.

It wasn't even like.

It was nerve-wracking.

And it was nighttime.

We flew in at night.

It was pitch black.

We're in a country that I've never been to or know about.

And everyone's wearing hazmat suits.

And we're just the only whites.

I love a good whites.

I love whites too, the best.

So then, so then, how did it feel?

So then, what did we do?

I forgot.

We went to town.

To Quito.

To the old town.

Yes.

And we ate at a restaurant.

On a roof.

On a roof.

You know what it reminded me of?

Have you ever watched that movie with Tilda Swinton where they're the last vampires, the last lovers left, and they're in Turkey or something?

And there's no one around.

It just felt like we were in a vampire town.

Sorry.

It's him doing beef as a butthead son.

I can't wait to see.

I don't know when that came back in here.

I don't know.

Okay.

I'm saying that again for the first time.

It's like, it's so demeaning.

Well, that area of town just felt

like there were vampire.

It was just a vampire town.

You're getting hit, too.

It was a bit hard there or something like that with COVID.

From what I understand, before,

like right away, they were so unequipped that they were piling up bodies on the streets.

And there was a picture of

kids walking to school past like...

dead bodies.

Right.

And then the whole country was like, let's do, I don't care if this part might not work, if this might not work, if this might not work.

We're doing everything.

We don't ever want to have that again.

Wow.

So there'll be like alternate side fucking parking, alternate side driving, masks in the cars.

We were like seeing people with masks in their cars alone.

We're like, what?

And they were like, we're doing everything.

Yeah.

Guys, I'm going to break in really quick and let you know about the guests.

Sarah Tolamash and Joe List.

Not only are they great friends that came to visit me in Ecuador, really the only ones that came to visit me in Ecuador, but they're also amazing comics.

I'm not joking.

They're like, make me laugh so fucking hard.

And I'm sure they'll make you laugh too.

too they got specials out right now on youtube both of them which is such a great time for stand-up comedy i mean my special jew uh obviously on there but uh sarah tolomash got a great one butthole money it's on uh it's on sarah tolomash comedy on youtube uh check it out how long is that 40 like 45 minutes not long I know that's a lot of people like, I don't want to commit to a 90-minute fucking guy, you know, blowing hot air for fucking 90 minutes.

We could just do a tight 45.

Who would do 90 minutes?

We can can just do a tight 45.

What a loser.

Not Sarah Tolomash.

Tight 45.

And then Joe List has a new one called Small Ball.

Also available at Joe List on YouTube.

That is a tight.

How long is that going to be?

Let's see.

Let's look it up.

55.

56.

56.

Not bad.

Yeah, they're both hilarious, you guys.

Check them out on Instagram also.

Sarah Tolomash is S

on Instagram, S-T-O-L-L-E-M-A-C-H-E, and Joe List is Joe List Comedy.

I am there at Ari Shafir on Instagram.

I've got, no, I've got one more tour date.

I've got Charlestown, West Virginia, on July 12th, AriShafir.com.

Subscribe wherever you're listening or watching, you guys.

Subscribe to this podcast.

Every week,

it's a new episode where we just go to a different place with a guest.

This is one that I was the guest on, as well as the guests.

There's a couple of joint trips.

Me and Bobby Kelly to Cuba.

Me, Sarah, and Joe List to

Ecuador.

There's another one coming about Guatemala.

And then sometimes I'm just the guest.

And almost always, I'm not the guest at all.

I'm just an interviewer.

Yeah.

I also have stickers available right now at the website, or if you're watching on YouTube, right below.

Stickers and t-shirts.

The U-Be Trippin' fucking sticker and t-shirt.

There's two colors for the sticker.

Boom, boom.

And a third color, which is clear, which you can put in your passports.

That's something I'll do in the outro.

I'm going to put it in my passport.

I got a new passport.

Joe List is on the road also.

Go check it out.

Joe List, comedian Joe List online, or you can go to punchup.live slash Joe

dash list slash tickets.

Just look it up.

He's going to be in Portland, Maine, New Hampshire, and Portsmouth, Burlington, Vermont, Northampton, Massachusetts, Woodstock, New York, Morris Plains, New Jersey, Denver, Colorado, the famous comedy works.

Go tickets right now.

And that's it.

Also, the Shroom Fest shirts.

The pre-sale is starting out.

Lean Gwynn, aka Abra Cadaver made amazing, super fucking cool shroom fest shirts.

Shroom Fest this year is September 6th, 7th, and 8th.

I believe.

Let me check that out.

September 6th, 7th, and 8th.

If you you don't know what Shroom Fest is, it's an international holiday for mushrooms.

To celebrate, it's kind of like Christmas.

It doesn't have a place.

It's not like Mardi Gras that has a place.

It's like Christmas.

The place is in your heart.

So, wherever you are, do mushrooms.

And if you want to have a t-shirt to celebrate, we do a different one every year.

All the proceeds go to Lee and Gwynn, who gives a lot of the money to MAPS, Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Study.

Guys, could you put up the fucking Shroom Fest design right here?

But the pre-sales right there.

We might have limited run for some colors limited.

But if you get it there in the pre-sale, they guarantee you, which is over, I don't know, probably early August,

but definitely the next few weeks.

They can get it to you by Shroomfest so you can wear it while you're on them.

Or I would suggest not doing that so people don't stare at you.

But actually, you can't really tell that it means you're on Mushrooms.

That it's a cool design.

Show the design again.

Cover the whole screen.

Let me hear you talking while I'm covering these whole screen.

That's a cool design.

The Ubi Tripping stamps, the stickers, and the t-shirts are cool, but also that.

All right, let's get back to the episode.

I think I've said everything.

Stay tuned for the outro.

I'm going to cover everything in here

and a little bit more about that trip.

Thank you very much.

Back to the episode with Joe List, Sarah Tolomash, all about Ecuador, mostly Mindo.

Yeah, no, it was very hazmatty soup.

But I also, my memory is we went to whatever the hotel was thing.

In Old Town.

It was kind of a

cute.

Was it a a hostel or a hotel?

It was a hotel.

No.

We couldn't put toilet paper down.

The toilet and put it in Ziploc bags.

And Joe and I were so grateful we weren't newly dating.

Oh,

Ziploc bags.

Yeah, yeah.

You just take a big shit, and then you got to fill up a bag with turds.

Well, anyways,

I'm in Aries.

But I also remember getting fucked up because the room was spinning because there was altitude there.

I had a little altitude sickness.

It was a little, yeah, vertigo.

Yeah, yeah.

I was like fucking freaking out, not freaking out, but I was, it felt like real vertigo-y.

Wait, which hotel was this?

Was this where we had the monster keep trying to trail us?

Yes.

Yeah, that was a funny thing.

You and I went to let the dog piss, and then, oh, I got a bunch of shit for it because I came back on the, on Tuesdays with stories and talked about it.

And people were like, typical white privileged asshole.

And I'm like, no, no, no, there was a fucking serial thing.

Yeah, I was like, oh, the voyage like, wait, wait till he clears.

He was menacing.

He was so menacing.

Some of it obviously is like, oh, it's in a foreign country.

We're a little scared more than we should, but some of it is like, no, but not this neighborhood.

We had another moment, too.

I thought we were all going to get robbed.

Yes, we had another moment where a guy rode up and bike, and I actually, I felt very proud of my neighbor.

Old Town Keith Douglas.

Yes, Old Town was funky.

I was very cleverly, I was happy.

I put my hand in my pocket and I slid my debit card out of my wallet because the guy rode his bike.

He did a circle around us and then stopped in front of us.

And I saw I was like pulling my credit card.

I was like, all right, I'll give him my life.

He didn't really say anything, did he?

No, I think at the end, he was like, saw his friend right past us, and he was like, Yo, Tammy, yeah, yeah, and we're like, That was a close one.

Oh, my gosh, yeah, it was scary, but he definitely did like a little loop around us and then like stopped us in our path.

Yeah, yeah, I remember that, but I kind of flexed.

I think that might have had something, it definitely had something

festive.

Yeah, that's me getting a tattoo in Ecuador.

Oh, yeah, this one, that one.

Oh, that's oh, yeah, I forgot.

You got that before we showed up.

No, you got it after.

Is it after?

Yeah, you got it towards the end of the trip.

I had just done ayahuasca,

and so it was very convenient to have sober friends come in an eight-day period where I was not allowed to drink.

Yes.

I remember you had just done ayahuasca because my eyes hurt from rolling them at the story.

They separated you and your friend.

They're like, you can't be together.

And I'm like, this sounds retarded.

But this is where we part pass in our whatever you call it.

Yeah, I'm not sure.

Philosophy.

We had just just done it.

We had just done it.

Yes.

And you told the story and you have to talk to a guy with a bone through his nose and he dances and pants your foot.

But I suspect there's a lot of grifting in the ayahuasca business.

That's my.

Gotta be.

Right.

I'm having, I picture some light fingers in me.

Yeah, there is that.

There is that.

Also, to get to guide me into the spiritual world.

Yeah.

Just some light fingers.

Listen, mostly clit work.

Mostly clit work.

There's some penny, but but

mostly clit work yeah um okay okay let's get back to our triple sorry sorry okay but anyways the hotel yeah the hotel was with the dog and we were like daytime was lovely can i say daytime was lovely

but it felt like when sun was about to head down everybody started boarding up and like running home that's why it felt like vampires were about to come out yes it was dark and literally one person and and and I want to say this because everyone thinks of me as this pussy and I have Austin and I run, I run away from homeless people, and I'm a dog.

People also think I'm 5'6 for some reason, but you think that number of friends has multiple sex with men.

And then they think you're this tough, crazy guy.

You decided your dog wouldn't piss for 12 hours because it was that terrifying.

It was like you pick up the dog and you're like, he can piss in my mouth.

When we saw this guy coming at us hard, and they were like, oh, let's go back in, let's go back in.

And they were like, okay, there's no one else in the street.

So he's going away.

Yes.

And so we waited 15 minutes.

Yeah.

A while.

Where were you guys going?

To let him go.

Just to walk the dog.

Just to walk Bandit.

And then it was like, okay, he's gone.

And then we got outside and

the guy just comes out of the corner of the room.

He popped out.

And he just like comes at us.

Yeah.

It was like a video game.

No, it was fucking horrifying.

And then there was also another guy sitting there.

It was like two men.

It was fucking horrible.

Downtown Quito in Old Town and all of Guayaquil are the scary parts of Ecuador.

Yeah.

Everywhere else is really nice.

Yeah, everywhere else felt,

I wouldn't say

American, but it just felt like a regular

nothing unusual.

Nothing unusual.

What do you look at as America?

I remember when I went on my, I think we talked about this.

When I went on my Peru trip, our guide, Kikai, was like, no, I'm American.

Yeah, you felt like.

South America.

And you're like this.

Okay, buddy.

Yeah.

you're the co-actor.

But it is

South America.

It is South America.

But it's like, you know what I'm talking about.

Of course.

Why keep knocking that?

Is the sound not working?

Are we not getting this?

Because I'm getting there.

I just want to be sure.

But.

Yeah.

I don't know why you don't have a person.

You do very well.

Because, yeah, it's like last minute was.

All right.

Yeah, it's another one.

This was last minute.

Yeah.

But that's the only way we can schedule stuff.

Very last minute.

We have a child in the car.

We cracked one of the windows.

He's driving around.

I think.

Okay, so we made it through the first night.

That was the first night you guys were there.

Yeah, we went to the house.

Did we fucking around first or we just went straight to the hotel?

We went to the hotel and then we went out and ate.

Yeah.

But we didn't like tour because you got an at-night.

Yes.

Okay.

And then we went to bed.

I got.

I don't even remember what I ate.

I don't remember what we ate either.

I think it was some soup with corn in it and a hominy.

It wasn't.

I thought that was my dumps.

It was some soup with corn in it.

Well, we'll get to that.

That was, that was, I forget, it's like a potato-y cheese soup.

Yeah.

I forgot what it's called.

Fuck.

Not pollo de sago.

No.

I think I had spaghetti or a cheeseburger.

I just haven't got it.

That was nice, though, the rooftop.

That was wonderful.

I never really explored downtown, like downtown Keto without you guys.

No, it was great.

And then we ate at another day the next day.

I think we went to another restaurant.

In the square.

Yes.

Yeah.

Or at nighttime.

Where we played cards.

Wasn't that?

That was in the

post-illance.

The book end of the trip.

Yeah.

Okay.

Well, you look horrible there.

What?

Oh, fuck.

I was going to say something.

Wasn't there.

Didn't we just miss the thing where you spray people?

People run up and spray you with shit.

Yeah.

I'm so glad I missed that.

That wasn't in Keto.

That was in

something with a G.

But yeah.

They have all these neighborhood or like county festivals.

I think it's all like from Christianity and their own fucking basic subculture.

Yeah, and so they just like combine it.

And one of them was like spray peachable and especially gringos.

Because you were telling me about it and I almost canceled the trip.

You're like, yeah, people run up and they throw paint in your face.

It was a paint day, though.

It was like, this is horrible.

It was like everything I could do to be like, hey, let's mitigate, let's minor what we say to Joe because he's on the fence the whole time.

I was going to come.

I was always going to come.

It's just, I didn't want a fucking 13-year-old Cuban boy throwing fucking wet paint in my face.

Were you worried at all?

No, I don't think I was, but I don't really think I heard any details about what's a possibility.

Yeah.

We also, yeah, we did not know.

Like going blind.

We totally just put all of our stuff in you guys taking us.

I mean, yeah, we were there.

So it's like, I'm sure if we were dead.

Yeah, I didn't know the name of the towns we were going, where we were staying, anything.

We literally just were like, we're flying here.

And then that was it.

I ruled, yeah.

So, we around downtown Keto, old town.

Yeah, we did.

Uh, went to a church, this one, yes, big church, walked up.

Oh, and there was a big, tall thing.

We were up in the rafters, we were up in the rafters, slightly unsettling.

It was like a really old, small plank.

I think we have those photos too.

We had to climb a ladder, yeah, get on a plank.

Um, your friend stuck around, already went to it.

Is that right?

Oh, there it is.

Yeah, because look at that.

Your friend's not in the photos, No.

Right, right.

Yeah, yeah.

That was kind of, it was definitely fucking...

It was very.

Oh, yeah.

It wasn't like awesome.

It's like been there, you guys go.

It was a little bit of a shit.

But that's dingy as shit.

No, it was rickety.

And this is that tower?

Yes.

Yeah.

And we're in it up.

Wow.

We were way up in there.

No, it was fucking spectacular.

It was very cool.

Churches are the coolest thing.

Aside from all the child R-word.

Look at that.

That is fucking awesome.

That's you with the Phillies hat?

That's me.

It's not a Phillies hat, you jackass.

Why would I wear a Phillies hat?

It's a Maine hat.

It's the state of Maine, which I wore in a film you might have heard of on 4th of July.

Oops.

What's that?

You have not heard of it?

Okay.

Born on the 4th of July.

Yes.

With Tom Cruise.

Yeah.

Joe was in that as a baby.

Tomascaminar.

I wasn't a baby.

I was seven.

I was a little seven-year-old veteran.

God, that church ruled.

I forgot about it.

They're lookout, too, somewhere, right?

Didn't we look at it?

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, there we go.

Look at that.

That's all of keto.

That is fucking dynamite.

There's always a cross on a hill.

You've got to have the cross on a hill.

Do you want to have a huge hit?

I've got a cross on a hill in South America.

Look, it's pretty damn good.

Jam-packed.

Yeah, no, it's a little bit of a gun.

They like to jam-pack it.

It's a bit gnarly.

Can I say, the phones we have these days are nuts.

The fact that I can do this and you can zoom in on it.

Oh, yeah.

You can still really see it.

If you did this on an actual photo with a Kodak,

it would just be

like a painting enhanced section 7g

um no that was this is actually fun because i i kind of don't remember a lot of this i i mostly remember mindo mindo oh yeah well that's where oh there we are across the equator

outdoor with the mask on no one's going to be upset about this they're going to be so mad i can't picture the youtube credits being of credits comments being bad and that's a good dance mitadel mundo center of the world look at that and then we had to balance a thing you got to balance a fucking egg.

But then they told you you can do that pretty much anywhere.

No.

Yeah.

Oh, I didn't hear that part.

You can balance an egg.

You can get an egg to balance anywhere.

Wait, did you know this is there or did we tell you it was there?

What?

The

equator thing.

The equator thing?

I mean, I knew the equator ran through Ecuador.

Yeah.

We knew that that was their selling point.

I think you were taking us there.

Here, whatever.

Today's episode of You Be Tripping is brought to you by Mudwater.

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Well, why should I believe you?

Don't you say everything about everything?

What do you think I'm picking out of my teeth?

It's snacks from Thrive Market.

Oh, you don't believe me?

Explain this.

Explain this that they sent me.

Oh, there should be a lot left if I didn't eat it.

None.

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Oh, you think that's the only one?

What about this one?

Yeah, that's two.

Finished them both.

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Can we also talk about?

Was it on the way there we saw a person completely wipe out on their moped?

Oh, right.

And we went to go

kind of check, make sure they were okay, but at the same time, in the back of my head, I'm like, this could be a scam.

Could be a scam.

That's New York in you.

Could be a scam.

Bleeding out of their face.

While they really went for this one.

He sent it.

Was it a boy or a girl?

It was around.

It was...

On a roundabout.

Yeah, on the way here.

It's right near Mitado Mundo.

Yeah, they went and then just sprayed stuff everywhere.

Their backpack flew open.

I wish we could airbrush the mask out.

I'm going to get 48 emails.

They required masks.

They require it.

They did require it.

Big require.

It's a big mask, though, too.

You got that fucking.

Yeah, it was huge.

Double.

I may have done some double masking at one point.

Oh, at one point it was double mask.

It went from nominal to nomad.

Oh, that's beautiful.

Look at that.

Nice cup of tea.

That.

God damn, I missed this place.

I forgot about the equator.

Yeah.

North and south.

SN.

Isn't that crazy they just balance that ball structure like that?

That looks like the fucking trippy.

What?

That looks like the trippy.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

That's trippy, folks.

That is trippy.

That's nice.

I'm the green tea guy.

You're the green tea guy.

So this was on the wave.

By the way, tea is going to come back.

What do you mean?

T in this story is going to reappear.

Yeah.

Tea is the Easter egg.

Yeah.

That's the gun in the first place.

Yeah, the first die.

Yeah, yeah.

Remember tea, everybody, wherever you go.

Okay.

Particularly green tea.

Mitage Albundo was cool being on both sides of the equator doing shit like that.

Because we did that on the way to Lindo Valley.

Mindo.

Mindo.

Is it Mindo?

Mindo.

Mindo is an M.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, I didn't know that.

Did you just trust us to plan the thing?

Yeah.

Yes.

Literally.

We had no.

That's usually my.

I'm like, whatever this day, I'm doing it.

This is why Sarah's such a wonderful partner.

I just go, this is all the things we're doing.

And she's like, this, all right.

Except for Ada.

She always shuts it down.

Yeah, I always shut it down.

Let's talk about that.

Let's dedicate 30 minutes to this.

I was worried about Joe's eating.

Well, I'm good in a foreign country.

Yeah.

This is my thing with diet.

It's all comfort and ease.

Like, I've eaten whale and sushi and pussy and ass and cum.

But

whatever, reindeer, all the stuff.

Like, I went to Peru.

I told that story too.

Like, I brought spaghetti to warm up.

And then when we got there, there was like a Sherpa making food.

And I was like, well, I can't just bust out a spaghetti.

I'm going to

eat.

It's just at home.

I'm like, let me just hit reorder and get a chicken parm.

Yeah.

If you give me food that I have no idea.

You have no choice.

I'll evil.

People get a reputation because you do something three times out of 10 million times.

And people are like, well, that's your thing.

Yeah, yeah.

No, it is my thing.

I like spaghetti.

Most places offer a hamburger.

You got that straight.

Amrequesa.

Yeah, Amrequesa.

Amarquesa.

Or queso.

Osin queso.

We ate in a little square in Mindo.

Remember, we ate at like a little food place, and I ended up getting like a cheeseburger.

It was delicious.

Yeah.

And there was a dog.

We had a dog incident.

Yeah, I was really taken by one dog, and then

he kind of turned.

And then you realize, like, oh,

the dogs are grifters, too.

They're like men.

They're cupboard lovers.

They only love you because you got food.

It wasn't like we had a deep connection.

There's Sarah's.

There's a massive egg.

Yeah, right.

I want to argue for a minute.

This is her trying to bounce an egg.

This is one to watch for sure.

Also, send me your pictures later.

I'll try to put some of these in.

Oh, yeah, we have some good gondola.

Oh, the sky gondola.

Yeah, we got to get, we got to go.

We got to balance an egg

on a nail.

They say you can do it right on the equator line because it doesn't pull one way or the other.

Yeah, I didn't even try.

That's the kind of thing.

Yes, you did too.

Did I?

Yes.

Did we get it?

I don't even remember.

I I think there would be some cheering.

Yeah, I think there'd be some cheering if somebody got it, right?

I definitely.

I can't imagine that there'd be no cheering if somebody got it.

It must be some.

Oh.

Nice.

You did it.

Oh, yeah.

You got to do that.

You got to

hump it.

Look at that thing.

Look at that egg.

I don't think I.

I definitely doesn't successfully.

Oh, I thought you were going in on your egg.

Yeah.

There's two eggs.

Puebl.

Yeah, we went and got eggs.

And then I go, you know, know, we have eggs.

So if it falls, it goes in that little rock thing.

It doesn't break.

Right.

Wow.

Well, nice job.

I don't really remember

doing that.

It's the kind of thing that just frustrates me.

And I'm like, this is gay.

Let's get out of here.

Somewhere we have a slow motion of you and I jumping sides.

Yes.

Oh, nice boomerang.

Oh,

yeah, that's right.

You put the boomerang, boomerang.

There we are.

Well, hold on.

I'll go back to it.

Okay.

So, okay, so we finished this.

Yeah.

We finished this.

Got some coffee on both sides of the equator.

Send me that video of you guys jumping over the slow motion, same time crossing equators.

Yeah.

And then I remember people being impressed with my ups, actually.

I was.

What are your ups?

Is hops?

Eye kicks?

That's a black basketball term.

Hops, ups.

You acting a fool.

Handle.

Damn.

I'm stupid.

You need to be smacked, yo.

I'm stupid.

I'm stupid.

So, okay, so we went from here.

You're good in the black.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You stupid.

And then retarded is like extra cool.

That's the best.

Yeah.

Let's get retarded in here.

So then we left Mital del Mundo.

We went straight to Mindo.

Mindo.

Did we stop?

I'm trying to think.

We did eat it.

Like,

I got seafood, and I remember being like, should I get seafood in a place that's not near water?

Should you get seafood in a place that's not near water?

That's usually like my go-to rule of like anything that's landlocked or like

far away from fresh seafood, then I don't get it.

Okay, but here's what I figured out on this trip.

Usually, I will sometimes though.

In the playas,

there is

no lemon and shrimp fisheries.

So they're not even getting them from there.

They're just right next to the water.

Okay.

So it's like you're always getting them grown.

Right.

You know what I mean?

Unless it's like organic or whatever.

Hold on, I want to look at this fucking map.

Boom and boom.

Oh, look at that.

Oh, what a mess.

That ADHD desktop.

That is triggering.

That's an intrigue.

That's a mental disorder.

Sarah wants 90 minutes in this house alone.

But this is how you live your life, by the way, at Triple A.

I remember you came to Key West.

Remember, we saw this in Ecuador, too.

And it showed us.

It blew my mind.

We went to your house.

And you travel this way.

And Key West is like this, too.

It's like you unzip your suitcase and dump it in the hotel.

And spread it and spread it around with no order.

I saw you in Key West.

You had been there for 10 minutes and it looked like that.

I was like, what the fuck are you doing?

And then it takes five hours for you to leave and you have to bring everything that you've purchased.

I think there's a word for this and it's called Jew.

You had a plant?

You had your wondering Jew.

Didn't you have a wondering Jew with you?

Isn't that the name of the plant?

There is a plant.

Wandering Jew.

Yeah, I brought one back.

I actually don't know how to save it when I leave.

It's from the jungle, and I really want to save it.

I think it's a good thing.

The way you save it is you make an emissions plant, and then you just have it work there.

Schindler's list.

Oh.

That's how he saved the Jews.

What?

He made like a plant where you make stuff.

And then he employed buttons.

Yeah.

I like this.

Anyways, I'm going to go to the next one.

This is our.

From Keto to Mindo.

Okay, so this is the route.

Oh, the ride.

The car ride was fucking crazy.

So this is the route.

So we went up and over, went to middle of the world.

It's so funny.

Tadel Mundo.

And then drove over here.

So this is supposed to be a two-hour ride.

I learned early on in Ecuador, these Google Maps have almost no relation to time.

Oh, is that right?

It was probably six.

Sometimes it's just like you're not making it and what you're doing.

Right.

I remember the ride being spectacular.

Yeah.

And that's all I really remember.

Good vegetation.

Also, a lot of

we're like,

not that I think it's third world Ecuador, but you're definitely like, huh, apartments are being built here, and there's car dealerships and

regular stores and gas stations.

We stopped at a lot of stores.

I think what it is, it's like, if it's not to your little Anglo aesthetic, you assume that it's a dump, but you're like, it's actually not.

Your version of these places like grass skirts, right?

Yeah.

Grass skirts.

And then you're like, what?

Yeah, car dealerships is a good, it's a good like

vibe of it.

Like, why wouldn't they have that?

I don't know.

I just assumed that

they're brown.

They steal them from America and then bring them over the border.

If I ever meet Trump, I'm going to say, hey, can you, you know how people want to influence him?

I'm just saying, hey, listen, if you ever refer to Latin America and you're not into it, just say, if it's brown, flush it down.

That seems like something he would say.

It does, right?

I think I convince him.

I couldn't convince him of a lot.

He would preface it a lot.

He'd be like, I'm going to get in trouble.

They told me I shouldn't say this.

But I like to be naughty.

I saw it on a bumper sticker.

If it's brown, flush it down.

I didn't mean to say it.

So we went up just to see this.

If we took that out, where we have gone same fucking route.

So we're going right by there.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

Okay.

We have to go by it.

I mean, you have to go.

The in-between.

You have to if you're there.

Right.

It's weird to come all the way to the middle of the world.

It's just don't be an asshole.

The other hemisphere.

It's like if you're somewhere so close to something amazing, just don't be an asshole.

Just go see the thing.

Well, this is my big thing.

I've talked about this a lot.

And I saw Bert post about this recently, and I couldn't agree more.

Is that people give you shit?

You're one of these people, by the way, that's like, fucking, don't act like a tourist.

You want to do the thing?

But I'm like, but I am a tourist.

And

I want to see the thing that everyone wants to see.

Like, you go to Paris, you should go to the Eiffel Tower.

I have to check it out.

People are like, I want to live like a local.

And you're like, why?

I'm not a local.

80 episodes of me saying, do the thing

as saying he's not right.

Right, but you've also,

you know what I'm talking about.

You do a whole thing of like, oh, you're going to.

Yeah, you pike your shirt up to here, get your fucking monograms or whatever, binoculars, and like, let's go out and see the city with your propeller hat.

I mean,

with his big mouth.

With his big old mouth.

I go anywhere.

I travel.

I go everywhere.

I free fall, free form.

I've been everywhere, dog.

Yeah.

now we have a damn baby

we're taking him everywhere yeah we're taking him okay so

so okay here's so then we got to meet so mendo and why do we go to mendo just because it seemed cool and we've been wanting to go there you had wanted to go there it's a cloud forest i think you yes didn't you just find an airbnb that looked great

wasn't it though it was great spectacular the best house ever and we got to give a shout out because this is the favorite the landlord lady was like please tell all your friends and we're like this

zero of our friends are coming to this place.

Right.

We were like on a horse farm a thousand miles from nowhere.

And she's like, tell some friends.

I'm like, I don't know who you think is coming to this place.

You know what?

I'm going to lay in an ad.

Guys, remind me, YMH, Niana, remind me.

I got to do an ad for this lady's Airbnb.

Today's episode of Ubi Trippin' is brought to you by the Mindo Eco Chalet in Mindo, Ecuador.

Guys, if you're looking for a cloud forest to go visit, why not go visit the one in Ecuador, the one I went to?

It's amazing.

It's got all sorts of birds.

In fact, it's been a, oh, that's pretty loud.

It's got got won the bird watching championships like seven years running.

It's got a crazy variety of birds.

In fact, right in the Mindo Eco Chalet is a hummingbird feeder where they just come one after another after another.

You can set up an amazing slow motion video with a clamp if you want.

I've got crazy videos that you can

use to impress your friends.

It's one of the best Airbnb bees I've ever stayed at.

The only one I've ever stayed at with a horse and a waterfall right there within walking distance and a creek that runs right through the property.

But don't take my word for it.

Listen to what popular chinless comedian Joe List has to say.

Hi, it's me, Joe List, and I'm here at a rental house in Booth Bay Harbor, Maine, my favorite place in all of the earth.

And it's a wonderful house, but not nearly as nice as the house I stayed at in Mindo Valley, Ecuador.

Of all the places I've had uncontrollable, unfathomable, unstoppable diarrhea, that is the best place I've ever been for it.

In fact, next time I get uncontrollable, uncanny, don't know what that word means, diarrhea.

I'm heading straight to Ecuador to stay in that house.

And that horse, I think, would probably eat my diarrhea as long as it hadn't escaped.

Well said, Joe.

Another thing Dominique offers at the Eco Chalet is a tea kettle where you can heat up your water to beyond boiling so you won't have projectile diarrhea the way Joe List did.

Yeah.

Room enough for eight people, six beds and three bedrooms, and one and a half bath.

That half bath will be for the diarrhea for the people who won't use the tea kettle for some reason.

It's an eco chalet because it's solar powered.

The whole place is solar powered.

It's pretty amazing.

Legitimately, guys, one of the most tranquil places I've ever been.

Smoking a cigar on the balcony, looking out at that giant yard with the hummingbirds right there.

I mean, just thinking about it brings me back.

And Dominique will also set up a bird watching tour for you if you want to see a toucan, which I did.

And if you want to see some other birds, which we didn't.

The Mindo Eco Chalet by Dominique.

Click on the link and make yourself a reservation and go visit one of the most magical places I've ever been.

Legitimately, it was amazing.

Plus, no diarrhea for me.

Thanks, Dominique.

I appreciate it.

And if you end up staying there, legitimately, just send us a picture or something.

What a fabulous place.

Put the link in.

Put the link in for a reservation if you want.

Oh, way to get away.

Plus, if you're a comedian and you get canceled for saying the wrong joke, that's the place to get away from it.

Short walk into town, too.

You're right there in Mindo.

You're right there.

You're like a 10-minute walk away from Mindo for some of the best empanadas you could ever have.

God, it makes me miss it.

Legitimately makes me miss it, just thinking about it.

The Mindo Eco Chalet, get there today.

Hummingbirds, tranquility, anything you want.

Plus, Bandit loves it.

I'll see you on the other side.

Now, back to the episode.

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It was a really great Airbnb.

It's the coolest Airbnb ever.

Finding it was something.

Was it an A-frame?

I think so.

We have a photo in front of it.

Yeah, yeah.

It had a big wraparound porch, and then you get spiders in your boots.

You You had to be careful with the boots.

And then she made a cabin, kind of.

Yeah.

Giant yard in the front.

I like that room.

Giant yard.

And then a little creek.

Creek.

You could go swimming crystal water.

And a horse.

And a horse that we would get to.

Even finding it was like down dirt roadsy and stuff.

Like it's off.

The city itself of Mindo is nothing much.

Also, it's always fascinating when you're like, what is a German lady doing here?

Oh, she was cherry.

Do you think she fucking?

No, maybe

she escaped.

Nazi, yeah.

Oh, why go to Argentina?

Everyone's going to Argentina.

I want to do something different.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'll hide out here.

She was like 50.

She was really nice to you, Ari.

I'm really sorry for anything wrong here or otherwise.

She really did make amends.

She really did.

It was a little awkward at first.

I don't need my Jewish version of 40 Acres on this.

You got me.

You know what I didn't realize for like 20 years of the Seinfeld nut?

The soup Nazi, it ends with Newman going, he's taking all his soups.

He's moving to Argentina.

I never put it together.

Just now.

Yeah.

It's crazy.

You're such a huge Seinfeld fan.

I mean, just as a fan.

I just never realized the joke.

Because it's like in passing.

And then when I was a kid, I didn't realize the Nazis went to Argentina.

It just felt like a funny thing to say.

You ever see something that you realize as a kid and didn't understand it?

And then

as an adult, you would have, but you never revisited in your head.

Yeah, I had that with the abortion scene.

and Dirty Dancing, where I was like,

who's this guy she met in an alley?

And then it wasn't wasn't until I was older.

I was like, oh, she had an abortion.

I was like, why is there a, how come we're not talking about this guy with a knife?

And even though once you were an adult, you still can remember the scene, but then you're like, didn't do the math.

I didn't do the math.

I was just like, what a weird moment that was in dirty dancing.

Yeah.

Rogan and I were walking into Tempe Improv once, and he mentioned the Doobie Brothers and Joe Rogan?

Joe Rogan, yeah.

And he was like, yeah, it's about weed.

I was like, oh, do they sing about weed?

He was like, what?

Like, did the Doobie Brothers sing?

Did the Doobie Brothers sing about weed?

And I was like, oh, I never, when I heard Doobie, I didn't know.

I thought they were actual Doobie.

I thought it was Doobie, Doobie, Doobie.

Yeah, I didn't realize that either because they suck.

I don't listen to them.

I don't know anything about them.

Riders of the Storm.

That's not them.

No, that's not.

Michael McDonald.

What's that big one?

No, that's something else.

I don't know.

They suck.

Yeah.

They're great.

Whatever.

Whatever.

Everybody's great.

Well, we're going to Yacht Rock.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, we tried to get

a year out of town.

Oh, damn.

Okay.

So now, Mendo.

Mendo.

This bandit.

That's when we made her wear those boots.

She made us wear boots that we didn't end up needing.

And they were too big and

the lady.

The lady whose place it was.

Yeah, yeah.

It gave me the worst planner fasciitis that I've ever had from walking in those shoes.

It was fucking horrible.

She's like, you all need boots.

You're going to need boots.

And we had brought hiking boots.

She's like, those won't do.

Everything's going to be even raining.

There was no arch support.

I was just flat

walking yeah it was just flat and slippery and we went on a hike

that was a hike it was like a six mile hike with rubber fucking boots on for no reason wow she did have that's right she oh i still got that i got there's that backpack yeah that makes sense

um we bought binoculars uh-huh oh yeah we bought binoculars to see to see uh the animals wait we have so much great stuff to get to i gotta remember the bird thing the gondola thing look at that's wearing masks in the middle of the air.

And that's gondola.

35, that's the gondola.

Hold on.

Can I just say this also?

Comedy Key West represent.

Yeah.

Also,

the mask, once you have it on, you've just adapted to having the mask.

Like, it's just on your face.

You stop thinking about it.

Yes.

That is a defense.

I was in Egypt, and the guy was like, I got into a cab, put my seatbelt on.

The guy was like, you don't have to wear a seatbelt here.

It's pretty much for gay people.

And I was like, okay.

And he goes,

and I'm like, okay.

And he goes,

so take it off.

Oh.

And I I was like, oh, really?

This is more work to take it off.

And I was like, all right.

Yeah, you did whatever.

I mean, I am like embarrassed by this.

I want to fix this.

This was, by the way, the most terrified I've ever been.

Absolutely.

And then you get on the other side and it's just like.

a guy doing this writing pedaling it out for you and you're i don't how many feet were we it was increasingly it was so high it was like 450 feet because i remember making the analogy of home plate to like the outfield wall but invert like

it also started with like, oh, it's not that bad.

And then it got over a ridge and the ridge just drops and you're full of treetops.

Yes.

If you're above treetops, it's fucking crazy.

Yes, that's what I meant to say.

It's 400 feet above the tree lines.

It's a bitter band photo.

So

no masks.

Just for a picture.

I'm going to tell you that.

I had the worst traveler's diarrhea on this trip.

Not the worst.

On this hike.

You didn't have the worst.

Of my life.

Of my life.

Okay, because you didn't even have the worst of the group.

There were moments I was getting sweat, and I was like, am I going to shit my pants?

But there were some bathrooms we found.

The most crudest bathrooms ever.

That's the smile of somebody holding it in.

Yeah.

Right there at someone like,

if you had shit your pants, you would have been the second woman to shit her pants in front of me in South America.

That's pretty impressive.

Brutal.

It was so, that pain that you get and then the heat wave.

It was just a stop.

It was just like a waterfall hike.

Didn't we go from waterfall to waterfall?

This was the only long real hike we did.

Yeah.

In these wellies.

What a terrible.

Right here.

Literally.

I was actually really annoyed that that was our

suggestion.

We should have brought shoes in our bags and then just put on regular boots.

Well, and we

flew fucking 1,500 miles with hiking boots, which is never convenient.

And then she's like, you can't wear those.

You got to wear these.

And then we

have to go arch support.

But also, I want to go back to the gondola thing thing because I like I'm not afraid of heights.

Hold on, it's going to be on the way back.

But

I just get

I'm not afraid of heights, but like it was bottomless.

It was like a grate.

So like you could see.

You would lightly kind of swing.

And then on the way back, it was great.

I had some pictures of this, right?

Yeah, I have photos of our feet looking down.

But it did, when it was an optical illusion, when you're getting on, it looked like, and I remember thinking, I don't know if I can fucking do this because it went straight up.

And I thought it ended there yeah and it was fucking long it was like 30 minutes long and we're 400 feet above the tree line and it was shaking and rocking and on the way back it started raining got windy and it stopped for like 15 minutes i like mid-fear though it was did we pass a family yeah so they were like vibing they were like on the way home like a baby in there like a baby everyone's having a good time the baby's hanging on doing pull-ups doing parkour also you're an animal abuser who brought the dog who's freaking out so it's also like a wiggly fucking dog.

That dog wants to get out immediately.

That was a mistake.

That was horrifying.

Worth it, though, because check it out.

She's loving it.

Yeah, Bandit was really great.

Bandit loves nature.

I'm just, I'm thinking about my diarrhea in that moment.

You're squeezing it in.

I'm just looking off into space like,

oh, my God.

Yeah.

Look at pristine water.

It really was great.

I wanted to go swimming, but it actually was cold.

Yeah.

Oops.

That's the bummer about mountain water.

Yeah, it's very cool.

Joe always does a thing.

It was in Zion.

You dunk your head.

He did.

Yeah, I love dunking my head.

I love water.

A head dunk.

And I like to fill the hat with water, too.

Yeah, and then put it on there, let it dry.

God damn.

Yeah, very spiritual.

I mean, the place was really nature-y.

Oh, it was spectacular.

It was fucking incredible.

Let's stick on this photo.

Look how big that leaf is.

Oh, yeah.

It was just real jungle.

It's cloud forest, which I've never heard of before.

Yeah, I hadn't really either.

I guess it's like a pre-rain forest.

They say that the bird-watching champions of the world all come from Mindo every year because it's got the most diverse.

I hate diversity.

Yeah.

Hey, do you want to hear something fun?

Yeah.

My friend works at the forest department, and all their

emails are bouncing back if they mention biodiversity.

Oh.

Because fuck wit is

so against diversity that you can't even scientifically say biodiversity in a neighborhood.

They're like, well, how are we supposed to get the fuck around this?

It's so funny.

I just don't understand why we're.

Is this a video?

Oh, there's the trash of the toilet paper, by the way.

There's the trash of the toilet paper.

Can I also tell you, the Wi-Fi was pretty decent.

I was able to do a Zoom comedy show.

Oh, that's right.

You didn't do a set.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, we were downstairs.

That was the night, by the way, I think.

We were downstairs.

We all started.

Playing cards.

We played a lot of scat, and he's about to show you his scat.

Oh, there's poop in there.

Yeah.

I didn't know that video was happening.

Are you telling people they come to the Go Bananas?

I can't be promoting anything.

I might be promoting an episode of Old Skeptic Tank.

Well, this is about to go to the Skeptic Tank bump.

We played a lot of scat, and then we went out and bought cigarettes.

Sarah and I, when we're in another country, we get cigarettes and smoke them.

I love it.

Sarah smokes them.

I pretend to smoke them.

It was fun.

That's right.

We smoked on the porch there.

Yeah.

Yeah, we went into like an equivalent of a bodega.

I don't think we want to play some of these.

Where we also had

all those cigars.

Oh, and hummingbirds.

We had a shit.

A ton of hummingbirds come to us.

Yeah, yeah, same shirt.

Yeah, we smoked Hoyos.

We smoked those Ecuadorian cigars.

That wasn't good.

I did Marlborough.

No, but they were there.

I got used to it.

Yeah, yeah.

I really liked my cigarettes.

What'd you get?

I went and bought a pack of cigarettes.

I think they were Ecuador brand.

Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, they weren't going to be great.

I liked it.

Can I also, if I don't know if we're gonna get to it, but

I think about that to this today.

I think I had one of the best meals ever when we were by the river and the empanadas that were like made from scratch and we played cards and had a coffee and it was all like seven dollars.

We sat on the edge of a valley and it was like a food truck.

Not a food truck.

It was like a little stand.

It was like a hut kind of

set, but like

yeah, and it was taking forever.

Like, what's taking so long?

She's like, I'm making it from scratch.

And I had to go to the grocery store.

And we sat and played.

I I didn't know four people were going to come to me.

Yeah.

We sat and played scat for hours, which is my favorite activity.

How do you play scat?

Scat is 31.

It's like they're playing in Stand By Me.

You get three cards and you discard and you want to get 31.

Scat.

I got to remember this for hostels.

Yeah, yeah.

We played Scat.

I was trying to make a list of like, okay, Scat.

Which I was happy that I converted to.

Best meal ever.

It was so good.

It was amazing.

And I've since been a Repas.

Arepas.

Arepas.

Yes.

That's what I was saying.

It was Arepas because it was fun to.

Because we kept making jokes, of course.

But

we've had.

I remember leaving there being like, my new favorite food is Arepa.

And I haven't been able to re-Astoria had a decent place, Arepa.

There's like an Arepa lady.

No, I remember Aripping that lady.

Yeah, that was brutal.

That was a weird part of the trip.

I really held her down, but

that was brutal.

You can't say brutal on that.

That was brutal.

All right.

It was a crime.

When you're out of focus, you're kind of handsome.

Yeah, right?

It takes away the ghoulishness.

So that was one of the cool things about Ecuador.

In Quito, there is a Casa la Habana.

And you can find legit Cuban cigars.

And I would when I was there.

No, it was awesome.

I also remember the horse.

I was terrified of the horse.

I hate screenshots.

Nothing worse than screenshots when you're going through a fucking colour.

Well,

they're not going to show all these.

We're just going to show the ones we pause on.

Oh, that's later.

That's later.

Okay, so wait.

So let's talk about Mindo.

So let's not talk about it.

Mendo was the biggest part of our trip.

Yes, we white water rafted.

We got annihilated.

White water rafting.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, my God.

First of all, I love rehashing on a trip, podcast or not, and just remembering stuff.

Yeah.

As you go.

We did a lot.

And wait, remember before we went to the sky gondolas, we ended up trespassing on somebody's property thinking that was the way to go.

And what happened?

Vaguely.

We didn't know how to get to the actual sky gondolas.

Yes.

We were at like some, I wouldn't say rich person, but it was a nice home.

They probably make 40 grand a year.

Some of those homes up there were like, how much like they're building themselves?

It probably costs 50 grand.

But they looked amazing with the craftsmanship and the architecture.

I do remember because that's what we realized was we were trying to follow maps to the trailhead, but we didn't realize there was a gondola necessary.

So we kept trying to find paths to get there.

Yeah.

And there wasn't

Yes.

Yeah.

Like, oh, let's just walk over it, which would have been possible.

And the boots.

It took a while to get to the head.

Also, on this, on this, oh, so okay, we got a lot.

The hummingbird feeder on this.

Amazing.

It was like 10 different kinds and colors and stuff.

Yeah.

It was incredible.

It was.

I took a slow-mo video where I just set up the thing and you just see still going pretty fast.

Yeah, they look like bugs.

They're the coolest animal on earth.

It's so weird.

They're just like.

Because they're like this.

And they want to go.

They go, someone else comes in, excuse me, and they go, okay.

And then you were going to get a hummingbird tattoo, but you got that thing instead.

Yeah, I was

like, what's that one?

This is the, it's a plant, helicunia.

It's a plant that's all over there in the jungle that I really liked every time I saw it.

It's on trees.

It's in the tropics, but there's all these different genuses of it.

And you guys had been there for how long at this point?

Like three months?

Two months?

What day is this here?

February.

So we went Halloween, so all November, all December, all January, three and a half months.

February, that's right.

We came straight from Key West.

Yeah, I think you guys still had like another month left after we left.

We waited for the vaccine.

Oh, I remember, this might get me in trouble, but I remember having my sister do my unemployment

from America because you couldn't do it.

Yeah.

The IP address.

You're not the only one.

I was like, could you do that once a week for me?

So I was living.

That was why COVID was so great.

I was living, making the most money I've ever made in stand-up.

Yeah, there was a couple times

on unemployment

where you got a raise because the economy was tanking.

Yes, at some point, Obama gave me an.

He went from, you can only get 26 out of the 52 weeks.

Yeah.

And he goes, we're going to do 39 now.

And I'm like, okay, this hasn't affected me at all.

This 2008 thing hasn't affected me at all.

And then he goes, extra 25 bucks a week.

I'm like, thanks.

Yeah.

And then like Trump was like, 400, 600 for everybody.

Yeah.

You can go all year.

And it was like, nice.

Oh, I was getting like 1,000 a week or something ridiculous.

Did you lose your job from COVID?

From comedy.

Oh, right.

Yeah.

So somebody helped us set up how to do freelance, and it was whoever did that is an angel.

God damn.

They showed you everywhere.

They circled every page that what you had to press.

Oh, wow.

Impressive.

So we got there.

We had a horse.

Okay.

So there was a horse next door.

That, I will admit, I was terrified.

A horse is a horse.

Of course.

Yeah, of course.

Right, of course.

Unless of course.

Yeah.

Mr.

Ed.

Oh, yeah.

This was Mr.

Ed.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The horse ruled.

No, I was terrified.

And then you were giving me shit, and I'm like, it's a fucking wild animal.

It was our one warning.

Our one warning was: don't let the horse leave.

She's like, do whatever you want.

You guys can all fuck wife swap.

Come in with the horse.

Beat me.

Go pet it in the morning.

You just got to wear the boots, whatever you do.

Don't let the horse leave.

And we were like, got it.

It was, and

I think we saw it out of our peripheral vision, and it was one of those things: like, did the horse just walk by the kitchen window?

There's a horse in the front now outside of its pen?

We're like,

yeah, the horse got loose.

I still don't know whose fault it was.

Might have been mine.

Might have been mine, too.

I don't think it was you.

Somebody

just didn't laugh.

And the horse was like, I don't know.

The horse is waiting for that moment.

Waiting for these tourists to come in and not latch.

Yeah, four whites showed up, and the horse was like, yes, this is my thing.

Wait, wait.

Out of here and then the Airbnb lady went to town to socialize yeah so we were under a ticker I was thinking the whole time we were she on property she was in town yeah she lived on property she had another little house yeah

she left yeah she was she left and then I remember she was like I'm going into town to meet my friend and so I was the whole time that we were

trying to get this horse back I in my mind I was thinking split screen

what she's doing While we're, and we're like, Oh my god, oh my god, how much time left?

She, how long do you hang out with a friend?

Yeah,

um,

and then split screen is a good way to do it.

And then she's like, I gotta get back there.

And her friend's like, Bobby, I'll get one minute.

We're like, screen.

Yeah, we had to chase this order.

You have pictures?

I think I have the video.

I made a video with dance music to us chasing the horse.

And

there were several obstacles.

I gotta see if I can find it.

You gotta find it.

First, there's different

ways to get back to the house, different hidden trails.

We would find it,

chase it back to another area, and then we also had wild street dogs.

Oh my gosh.

Oh, they would fucking chase it.

The moment you thought you had the horse, then a street dog would show up and chase it more.

And when you get close to the horse, horses, I don't know if anybody knows this, are actually incredibly fast.

Yes, and they're huge.

They're huge.

So you get close to them, like, I've almost got it.

And the horse is like, no, you don't.

Yeah.

I think you can race them.

I'll trot away.

I have like a four-minute video that I put together, but I don't know what's on here, and it won't fucking like upload.

But this is when you first picked this up.

But I'll find it.

Oh, send all these, though.

But if you have one, we should talk about.

Oh, look at this.

I have the whole fucking

thing.

A whole compilation.

Oh, that's the balcony.

That's the rooftop thing.

Wow.

I mean, everybody's in here.

Yeah, I'll find it.

I have one of just us chasing the horse, though, but it's not in this fucking company.

Oh, you gotta send me all the time.

I have to say, that horse,

it seemed like it was long, but I think in the scheme of things, it took us 15 to 20 minutes to get that horse.

Yeah, but that's long.

No, I think an hour plus.

You think an hour plus?

Because he ran into that yard at some point.

We were down the main road, and we're like, if he goes to the rain road, that's the road to town.

We were in the car.

We go out of the car.

It was like 35 minutes at least.

And when I say main road, the entire frame of this podcast is the size of the main road.

Right, and it's mud.

Uh-huh, and rocks.

And I mean like wild dogs.

Like,

like, no leash, no vet road.

Yeah, yeah.

And it's like, well, dogs can smell fear.

Like, what do you think can smell a lot here?

Yeah, there's a lot.

And then we each had a big long stick and we're trying to direct the fucking horse back.

We were just chasing a wild horse.

But the best part was at the end, when the horse went finally up the road of the house and it full charged Joe and I was like, he's a goner.

And then at the last minute, you opened the gate.

It was.

And it went right in.

And I was like, oh,

my God.

We're going to get Joe, make sure he doesn't go past you.

And I was like,

okay.

It was fucking charging me.

I had a Mustang charging me with a stick being like, go, come on, please.

And then he turned and we just fucking whipped the gate shut and all breathed a sigh of relief.

And then we had a long debate, and I'm a good boy of whether or not we should tell the landlord.

I don't think no.

I think I'm with you.

It's back.

Yeah.

It's Sarah and I summed up as people.

Sarah's like, no, let's just leave.

And I was like, we have to tell our landlord.

We had to tell her if it was still out.

Oh, I I think because we also saw, people saw us

chasing a horse.

Townspeople are going to be like, by the way, there was four assholes chasing your horse around town.

And then we look like assholes.

Hey, Deb, you got someone staying at your house?

We noticed some whites.

So we did tell her, and she was like, oh, no problem.

But we played it off.

We were like, he went down there, but we got him back.

So she was like, eh, whatever.

Yeah, we didn't tell him that we fucking rode.

But after that happened and the relief of getting the horse back, there was a part of me that was like, that was so much fun.

Yeah, it was relief.

So much fun.

So much fun that I was like, I could do that every day.

So much.

And we chased it into this other guy's yard.

Remember that?

Yeah, we went to other houses.

It was like a tree farm or something.

I was like, it's all right.

Yeah, it was, but after that, it was smooth sailing.

No more problems after that.

Well, we went on a bird.

It's a bird, like, I don't know.

I don't know what the word is.

A center of birding.

The Mindo River Valley.

Oh, yeah, that was the last day.

Set up a bird tour.

The night before, unfortunately.

Yeah, so the night before, I was like, let's have a cup of tea.

Let's all drink tea.

And now, this is the other important thing to say, is that all week, the whole trip, leading up to the trip, you kept saying, whatever you do, don't drink water.

You have to boil the water.

Yeah.

Make sure it goes to a boil.

It has to fully boil.

I kept going to drink the water, and then you'd be like,

and slap it out of my hand.

It was a lot of close calls.

I got my diarrhea from the toothbrush situation.

Yes.

So Sarah got a little bit.

So mine was light.

Mine was light.

Sarah got a little diarrhea from brushing her teeth.

It was pretty intense.

And then...

That's just a couple drops.

A couple.

Touching her gum.

Yes.

Where I could hold it between my butt cheeks.

Yeah.

Oof.

Then you, like, she doesn't like gum.

Did you, but

farts were out of control.

Yeah, very farty.

Just very, yeah.

So then the

last night?

Yeah, it must have been the last night there.

It was kind of the last night.

Because you were driving down.

In Mindo.

Yes.

So then we, we I made a cup of tea.

Now I'm a tea cunt and green tea, you're not supposed to bring it to a boil.

It's supposed to be about 175 degrees.

So I made sure.

So anyone listening out there, if I get it, if you want your ideal temperature to bring it up to a boil, then down to 175.

Right.

That's what I was suggesting.

Not Joe.

So I was like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that turned up.

So then I drank a fucking mug of local water and I started to feel a little bit...

We went to bed.

We brushed our teeth.

I think I did my tea show.

I laid down.

I think I did a nice comedy show.

I did a nice little comedy show.

And before bed, I was like, I just, I took a big shit that came on out of nowhere.

I was like, that was weird.

Oh, well.

And then I laid down, went to bed, and like a movie, my eye, I felt it again gurgling, and I just went, oh man,

I just remembered.

I had a 16-ounce glass of tea.

You drank straight diarrhea.

So much bacteria.

They were just like, these whites are amazing.

The horse is like, right?

I was fucking drinking.

Do locals not drink or do they get used to it?

Or you all have to.

They don't drink it either.

There's water delivery stuff.

What's going on in there?

What's happening in that water?

What is it?

Flint?

Yeah.

They don't have clean water.

I don't know.

Is it pollution or is it just

beavers?

I've heard that with like, even if you're

surviving in the woods and you come across a stream that looks clean, you shouldn't drink it because there's also bacteria.

Beaver.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's only some.

I remember in Alaska, they were like, this one, yes.

That one right next to it.

You have to drink groundwater in order to get

because it filters it out.

Yeah.

Well, anyways, we went on the bird thing.

We set up the big bird thing, which we were excited about.

Four in the morning.

Is that right?

Really?

It was so early.

Oh, we had to get there for sunrise because that's when the birds come out.

Yes.

And then we thought, you made a fucking video.

We had an observation that.

Five-hour bird.

Chickens.

It still makes me laugh that we saw a bunch of chickens and roosters running around.

And you're like, if we weren't, if you weren't familiar, you'd be like, oh my god, look at that giant bird.

That's the best bird.

Oh my god, it's huge.

Does it rest that neck thing?

That's crazy.

How it screams?

Oh, my God.

But we're just like kicking them, being like, get out of here.

We're trying to look at cool birds.

We wanted the toucan.

Yes.

Which is so funny because it's like, toucan's cool, Hinhov, but is it really that?

Are we like we...

It's got its own cereal.

Yeah, we get.

It's a get.

It's a get.

Yeah, it's a get.

Oh, my cigar is coming.

But once we saw saw the toucan, I think we were like,

this lady was so into birds.

She loved it.

Yeah, there are people that are just.

We had binos.

We were up there.

She's like, we're going to see.

We also suspected she was a lesbian.

She was a lesbo.

For sure.

For sure.

I just love, we're like, what's it like being a

lesbian in the middle of the cloud forest?

She was very, very dykey.

And we saw a guy in a tiny town and off a dirt road, out of gas.

We're like, oh, we got to find gas.

And we went to a town of 80 people.

And somebody working in the

convenience store was so gay, like bleached blonde hair.

Were we there for that?

No.

Oh, okay.

And it was like, what are you coming across a gay in a backwards town like that?

And they're like, what do you listen?

There's like, gaga.

They're like, okay.

I'm like, I wonder if he even knows.

You're like, are you

the only gay?

Yeah.

What's dating like for you out here?

Hoping a traveler comes through looking for gas.

Right.

Oh, my damn cigars coming apart.

I always thought it was, we stopped our trip early and we dropped her off.

And she was like, well, I'm going to just continue.

Yeah, we're like, we saw the toucan.

We got to get going on the road.

She couldn't.

There was a language barrier, too.

And it was supposed to be like a five-hour tour.

We were like 45 minutes in.

And I was, at that point, I was shitting my pick.

I had begun my.

You farted in front of her.

I did.

Oh, you did.

No, Ari did.

He ripped a huge.

That's a one non-comic comic.

She smiled.

She's like, no, you.

She did the light.

Like, cool.

We saw the toucan.

We saw a few toucans.

It was pretty fucking cool.

Yeah, it was cool.

And we looked at the big,

we took photos through the telescope.

Yeah, she had a cool

viewfinder.

Yes, and we just released her so early.

We're like, it is?

She goes, no, no, there's a little sparrow you got to see.

We're like, does it have a color for a beak?

Like, I don't want to see, I don't give a shit about black birds.

It's only one week a year.

You can get a fucking New York pigeon here.

Yeah.

If it's not in a cereal box, I'm not interested in lady.

And then I had to double back and shit in like the dirtiest shithole.

It's like where the kids hid in Schindler's List, second Schindler's List reference.

I shit on a kid's head.

Yeah.

And then I was like, guys,

I'm fucked.

You were beat.

And we had like a three-hour car ride back to wherever we were going.

That car ride was hard.

We're going to Quito, so we were doing that reverse of that.

Right?

You were flying out of Quito.

Yeah, and we also had to get a COVID test.

Yes.

We had to go get tested to get out of the claim.

Yes.

Because we were about to do

a pretty decent system set up for getting those.

Yeah, that was another thing of like, you can.

If it's not to your Anglo-white aesthetic, you just assume it's shitty, but you're like, they were on time and it was run perfectly.

It may have been concrete that was slightly wet.

But I was.

But it worked.

I was having

an anxiety attack, though, because it was like, you got to get it.

And it was

a language barrier.

I think we were flying out the next morning.

Yeah, thank God your friend was very fluent in Spanish.

I can do a little Spanish, but not enough

to explain it.

But also, it's like, if it doesn't come, I have a flight.

What if I don't get it?

Yeah,

it was

unsettling trying trying to figure that out and navigate.

And I had to shit my brains out every 30 seconds.

And we went to 10 gas stations.

The drive back was so wild because it was like, hey, I got to stop at this gas station

to shit.

I'm like, oh, this aren't going to be a good one.

But I can get a coffee.

Okay, sure.

And then like, it was every 10 minutes.

And then like, it was like, oh, God, wow, how is the shitting at the gas station?

You're like, terrible.

And then like, and then they don't have toilet paper.

You got a flight.

It's like, oh, they don't clean it.

And then like 10 minutes later like hey i know this is a joke but i gotta shit again i would get back in the pageant right and be like go to the next gas station i also remember your friend because it's shitting and we're comics that's all we could talk about was like is that all you guys talk about and i was like yes

yeah yeah

yeah do you guys want some ecuadorian chocolate you have some yeah

i gave some to my mom but i don't think she cared for it sure

is it regular chocolate yeah that that one's got chili in it.

That one's got chili in it.

That one's got Uvia.

I'll be shitting my pants again.

Uvia, you should go to Uvia.

You don't like spicy,

I'm okay.

You want?

Yeah.

Crack it.

Yeah.

Okay.

I'm good.

Okay, great.

Well,

how many gas stations did you visit?

I honestly think 10.

And it's like, picture.

Shitting at a gas station on 95 in Connecticut.

Already terrible it is.

Yes.

This was like Ecuador, side of the highway, and they were all just like holes.

There was no door.

There was no toilet.

Was it a squatter one?

Yes, it was like fucking just holes.

It was horrendous.

Most of the twins I remember were

holes.

But I was sick enough that I didn't care.

I was just sitting in Ecuadorian shit.

I got to a hotel once in La Trancale, I think, El Trancal, and it was like, I wanted to take a shit at this not good hotel.

It was like, it's like, we can't keep going overnight.

And going to the guy, it's like, hey, there's no seat on the toilet.

He goes, oh, yeah, yeah.

And he went back behind.

He's like, here, bring it back.

Yeah.

Weird.

Yeah.

Could you just.

You want another one?

Like, squat over?

Did you need the toilet seat?

Because I would have squatted.

Yeah, girls are, you have training in that.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

I'm like, no, I'm going to sit down and shit.

Okay.

I thought it was odd that there's no seat on the toilet on a regular toilet.

Yeah.

Yeah, there was a lot of them with no seats.

Yeah.

It was, it was fucking bad.

And I also felt bad bad because it felt like I was such a hindrance to everybody.

I'm like, I'm so sorry.

And then we were trying to race to make our appointment also.

Yeah, but we were like, oh, we got an extra three hours.

We can take a hike.

We can like maybe stop by Mitel de Mundo again.

We can like do whatever.

And then it was like, nah.

And I don't, this is the other thing.

I don't know if this is everybody or just me.

But I get very emotional.

I get like raw when I'm that sick.

Oh, I thought we were every time you shit.

No, like, I'm like,

no, but I was like, we.

Remember that time I got sick in Long Island?

I was watching Home Alone.

I was like, sobbing.

Joe got noravirus.

I've had it a few times.

I gave it to him.

Mine wasn't that bad.

And then his was horrendous.

It was almost like he was kicking heroin in a hotel room, just shitting and vomiting.

It's happened three times that you get like, Sarah gets sick and she's like, blip, excuse me.

Remember when you're opening her?

And then the next day, I'm dying.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You open for Louie early on.

Yeah.

That was the first time I ever met Louie.

That was the same time.

That was so funny.

I'm sick, but I'll make it.

He's like, don't come there fucking near me.

We were were counting at like contractions.

I was like, you're shitting.

Every 30 minutes,

I think you can squeeze in a feature set.

I literally told Louie, I was like, okay, I'm doing 15.

I'm having diarrhea every 18 minutes.

I don't want to miss the gig.

And he's like, don't fucking come to this.

We would have contaminated it.

And then Jerry Seinfeld took my place.

Fucking.

Because he was like, what a...

We also worry we're like, that was...

Never going to work again because timing does matter in these things.

But you know what?

Louis, he's like, I know you wanted to do the gig.

I'll make it up to you.

And then we went on on a world tour.

He is a real comic.

He gets that this is important.

Yeah.

Well, because some, like, have you ever had, like, oh, now we're just talking about comedy?

No, that's all right.

Okay.

Yeah.

Well, just like

timing is everything where you get something, and then because you get sick, there, somebody loses their job, and then they move on, and you're like, okay, I guess I'm not getting that TV show anymore.

Remember you said I was on your radar?

No.

Well, I think what that is.

They left.

Seinfeld was there.

I would have hung out with Seinfeld.

I would have done a set in front of Seinfeld.

I was like, this could have been my big break.

And instead, I shit all over the place and cried in a hotel room.

I had one two weeks ago.

I was going to go.

My friend used my fame.

He had tickets.

He had partial season tickets to Yankee Stadium.

And he goes, can I use your fame to get stuff?

I'm like, if I'm not there, okay.

Try because it's embarrassing because I'm not as famous as you think I am.

And he goes, hey, I have a very famous friend.

We want to get something extra because he has a rep.

And they go, okay, we'll get you on the field for batting practice,

which is cool.

And only I found out that.

The Lucy's game is awesome.

Oh, my God.

I found out later, Shane got it for us in the Phillies, but like, that's Shane.

I found out later it was only because it was like right before the summer day game, the Rangers, no one gave a fuck.

Right.

But anyway, I was going to do that.

The night before, I got a text from Side Splitters going, Judge is coming to your show tonight.

Oh, Aaron Judge.

Yeah.

I was thinking Mike Judge.

And I was like, I know Mike Judge.

I can get you.

Or Judge Reinhold.

And it was like, oh, my God.

So I'm going to perform for Judge, make a joke, and then the next day see him at batting practice.

We're going to be best friends.

There's no way he would have remembered, oh, 11 hours ago, I saw you on stage.

He would have come up to me.

Of course.

Right.

And then he didn't come.

They had to cancel.

Him and Goldschmidt had to

freed.

And then it's like, fuck.

Just

best friends.

Your life would have been so different.

I bet you could get in touch with Aaron Judge.

He isn't.

Through Shane.

I met him through Shane.

Shane was like, this guy wants to suck your dick.

I'm like, Shane, come on, man.

But I hate you.

He thought me and Foley were like Shane's retarded friends who run the business.

That's the problem when you're with somebody.

You're

made a beeline for Shane.

And then eventually Shane was like, oh, these guys also think you're cool.

And he goes, oh, hey.

Yeah.

And they just assume you suck.

Yeah.

They're never exactly.

That's the thing about comedy.

If they haven't heard of you, they're just like, well, you must blow.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Anyway, in your case, I do.

I pull it together for specials, but that's it.

Day to day, though.

I'm a pretty bad comic.

So then, wait, where are we?

We get COVID tested when someone.

Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.

Because you said this before, in between cities in Ecuador is gorgeous.

Oh, yeah.

You're going through like

the best vegetation ever.

And the mountains and the fucking, it's just like,

it's just so cool.

No, South America is the best.

It's so, it's gorgeous and nothing's built up.

Like, if I-95 is like, ugh.

Right.

Right.

And I always picture, like, they always say America is, isn't it?

That's what it means, beautiful.

Oh, really?

America is beautiful.

Something like that.

Okay.

And you're like, it is.

There's some really amazing stuff.

Oh, Amerigo.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But it could mean, I'm only going off of Ronnie Chang.

Go ahead.

Yeah.

America means beautiful.

Yeah.

I get all my info from Ronnie Chang.

But like North America.

But then when you go down there, you're like, well, we don't have cloud fucking forests.

No.

With jaguars.

Didn't Lando Calarizian live in the cloud forest?

Yeah, cloud forest.

Yeah.

From Star Wars?

Is that what you're thinking of?

No, it's a Cloud Forest.

But maybe.

But it also feels like a name of.

And then we went to Hoff.

Where Super Mario Land is.

Yeah.

Oh, what about the rafting?

We didn't do the rafting.

Yeah, we skipped the rafting, which was bad.

That was really fun.

That was really fun.

It was a two.

Describe it.

We got pictures, but mosquitoes.

We got annihilated.

I have never, I thought I was going to get Zika.

No, I posted the phone.

Well, first of all, I was like, and I was trying to get, we were trying to have a baby then, too, that I was like, oh, my God, what if I get pregnant pregnant and I have Zika?

You have a mosquito baby.

You definitely don't want a Zika baby.

No.

There's no positive.

No, well, that's the thing though.

But think about my, I would get specials for my Zika baby.

But this is that's true.

You'd be huge.

But this is the thing, though.

And everyone acts like I'm some fucking, what do you call it?

Hypochondriac cunt.

I posted the photo being like, look at all these bug bite.

Every comment was like, you're going to die, dude.

I'm like, I think I'll be okay.

Because I had had that in Peru, too, where I had like 48 people.

I had never experienced.

You look down at your leg.

That's why all the river guys were wearing leggings.

Long sleeves.

Yeah, that's right.

We wore shorts and t-shirts.

The safety regulations on this raft thing.

It was like just tires, just tubes or whatever.

Just tied with them.

But they were all tied together.

With whatever they put you in, I forgot what they're called, whatever.

It doesn't matter.

They were also like a foot and a half of water.

Yeah, they're also like, hey, don't, so your butt's in the two part, your legs are hanging out, and they go, if your legs hang too low, they will get snapped off.

Okay.

So the whole time you're like having fun, but also like, ah, ah, ah.

No, it was actually quite scary because a few times my foot, I'm like a lanky guy.

And my foot would drag on the bottom.

I feel on my butt.

Yeah.

He knew the river, though, because he would, he knew the spots to launch us.

Was he on with us?

Yes.

Yeah, yeah.

He was like, and then he would come off a little bit.

He would push and push and then get back on and like you'd start spinning.

One time he was both back.

He was an artist, a tubing artist.

Yeah.

And they would just put their tubes back in the truck, go back up, and tube people down.

It was only like eight minutes long.

It was so fun, but it was thrilling.

It was really fun.

It was awesome.

It was a highlight.

It was worth the mosquito bites in the Zika baby.

Yeah.

That was the last day there.

And then that night was when I got poisoned.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

But I thought that was one of the main attractions of Mindo Valley was tubing.

And I think we just decided on it.

It wasn't like we planned on it.

We were going to go

hike and see the birds and whatever.

And every truck had a big tube on it.

It's like big business there.

Yeah.

It's an adventure town.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mindo.

But I think we were like, fine, whatever.

And then we were like, that was the most fun I've had in my entire life.

I love it.

No safety regulations.

Yeah.

Because it's like, you're going too far with the regulations.

Let us have a little risk.

Yeah.

You could bring a baby on there.

I'm sure you would let us have a baby on the tube.

Oh, Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

It's your life.

It's your funeral.

Yeah.

What are you guys going to sue us?

We don't have anything.

Did he come down to keto and sued the tubing guy?

Did we at all

pay with any $2 bills?

I don't remember.

I don't recall.

What?

Okay.

I don't recall.

Forget it.

So we get back to this, so then we take the drive.

Unless it was more rafting shit.

No, I think that was.

No, we just did one rafting.

I could have done more.

What?

I could have done more rafting.

It was very, very fun.

Yes.

I was like, can we do an hour-long

place?

Yeah, maybe some chiller place.

Yeah.

Like less.

Like a lazy river.

Lazy River would have been great.

You would have drank again for that.

Yeah.

So then we eventually made our way back to

this tester place.

Yes, and that was pretty easy.

How was the bathroom in that place?

I used it.

That was a good one.

That was like a fucking.

My diarrhea had subsided at that point.

Yeah, you didn't have any.

You fucking shit one time on the hiking trail.

Yeah.

I shit 85 times.

I drank a fucking gallon of local.

It was a lot.

And I sipped it at night.

I was like, oh, this is just hitting right.

Fucking horrible.

Oh, my God.

What a fun trip.

Yeah, it was amazing.

And then we had a nice night back in Keto again, a different part of town.

We weren't in old town.

So we went to this other hotel.

It was like a more history.

It was millennial-coated.

It was a nice It was the cool part of town where they had the movie theater that we tried to get, Ochre Media.

Yes, we ate at the restaurant.

That was really good, and I can't even remember what I ate there, which is a bummer.

You really should take photos of your food.

I know people fucking

get mad at you for doing that.

Yeah, but if it's foreign like this, yeah, I'm like, come on, it's part of the experience.

Yeah, whatever this we're drinking.

Joe, I like your hair.

Look at all that cash, baby.

Texture.

Thank you.

Oh, God, what a stupid face.

Look at that.

I'm loaded, baby.

Yeah, you are.

Woo.

The place was great.

The place was great.

And they gave us these ponchos because it was cold out.

Yes.

Yes.

Because Keto is extreme.

It's cold every night.

It's on the equator pretty much.

And so it's just, it didn't really change the temperatures because it was rainy season, dry season.

And then

at night, it gets like so cold.

And then we went, after this, we went to like a cafe bar.

Yeah.

We had like a dessert, coffee.

I think that's where we went.

Oh, look at Ben.

Is this the cafe bar?

Yes.

Yeah.

This is.

This is a.

This is the cafe outside the movie.

Yeah, yeah, that's right.

Oh, Bandit was

ruled.

What a fucking film.

Oh, my God.

She really ponied up to me.

That was nuts.

Whatever you say.

She liked you.

She cuddled up, whatever.

Yeah.

No mask.

Well,

this sort of mask.

Genuine chocolate face.

No makeup.

Borat, let's take a moment of gratitude to Borat.

What a film.

Yeah, it really was.

Go back to that.

My hand looks like it looks like i have a little baby hand yeah this looks like why does my left hand look like a claw this looks like a i'd the one's tiny one's huge you look at on the bottom hand looks like the um um hot dog fingers from everywhere they were all at once

That was spectacular.

At this point, I had recovered.

You even ate.

You're like, all right, let's, you're like, at this point, you go, no, I'll get the regular food.

Let's get the regular food.

Yeah, I was ready.

I had shed it.

It was about 10 hours of fucking horror.

That meal was great and not much.

But you're right.

The Arepas, all that stuff, they have these Amuerzas,

these prefixed lunches, and they're $2.50 across the country.

Yeah.

Well, I even liked my seafood

dish I had at that gas station on the way to the equator or when we left.

Sarah's like, I had horrible diarrhea, but my seafood at the gas station was awesome.

I don't know what happened.

These diarrhea.

It was a shrimp soup.

It was

very delectable.

I think that might be it from my pictures.

Oh, I have so many.

When was that?

I don't think I took many photos when we got into only because that new town, as much as it was cool, it just felt very Bushwick.

Yeah, right.

It was.

It was the trendy part of Keto.

What was that?

February 2021.

And I kept having thought for you, like, God, the rent here has got to be so cheap that you could just come there as this content creator and just wreak havoc on their economy.

So there's a lot of Cuenca, even more.

It's like an expat from an expat town, which the locals don't really mind it from what I understand.

We just don't live in Old Town, right?

They do, but there's money now.

There's money coming in.

Oh, okay.

Because I remember their currency had collapsed.

Did you have this one or no?

The other one?

Yeah, I have this one.

Nice.

It's going to say accept.

It's not going to do anything, but just accept.

Okay.

No.

We tried this last time.

It didn't work.

Downloading accessory.

Oh, there you go.

There you go.

There you go.

Whoa.

Hold on.

I got to make sure there's no fucking nudes in here.

Unless there's Sarah, then someone will.

Wow.

I mean, that's unbelievable.

That's crazy.

Wow.

That's gorgeous, Mask on.

Look at her.

Ben, it's so ready to freak out.

That is so stupid that we did that.

Did they make us do that?

Not on there.

It's just like, I don't know.

It's on.

I don't know.

I think we're also a little scared of.

Oh, I'm so.

Oh, here's mosquitoes.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my God.

I don't recall them being itchy, though.

Yeah, they were like quick, quick.

Oh, wait.

There's the Arepas.

Arepa?

There's that place.

Oh, yeah.

Wow.

Arepa.

That's the hip.

That's the hut.

That's the hut.

And there's like a river down there.

Yeah.

Yeah, we sat on that table and played Scat.

Yes.

It was fucking great.

Just leaf.

They're okay.

There's the toucan.

I'm scared.

You say the toucan?

Oh, yeah.

Through that.

That's a great photo right there.

It's so cool looking.

He knows it, too.

He knows it.

Look at this little.

Look at his beak.

How crazy that his beak is like a flag.

And the sharp line.

Yeah, it looks like a Trinidad photo.

It looks like a little buoy.

Jamaica.

Yeah, that's it far away.

The nature's great here.

Oh, yeah.

What is that?

I think that's in the Mindo Valley or by the house.

That's on the side.

That's the bird tour.

Yeah.

Oh, there's a lady.

There's a lady.

Tight pants.

Those are painted on.

They were.

She must have been hot in that humidity.

Bedita?

No.

No, that's a wild dog.

I was just staring at it.

I was like, should I bite these motherfuckers?

Oh, unbelievable.

So many wild dogs.

Oh, you know what?

I also remember the grocery store.

That's the bathroom you went to.

That was the bathroom.

Yeah, that's what I was.

Not ideal bathrooms.

It blew my mind that milk is just out and about, not in the fridge.

The horse.

Milk is just out.

It's unpasteurized.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's crazy.

You're like, is this good?

But I'll do it.

I'll push through.

If you tell me it's good, I'll.

Yeah, just like, I'll take your word for it.

Yeah.

I mean, go back, one.

There's a spider

that fucking thing.

Wow.

That was just in the house.

That's crazy.

Didn't we also save a bird?

A bird hit the window.

We had to nurse it back to life.

That sounds like a youth thing.

Okay.

I kind of remember that.

Look how beautiful this is the grounds of this place we um we took a dip in there oh yeah it got deep somewhere look at that

that's horrifying yeah

oh i want to see this i want to see the down straight down on the on the thing let me let me get that going

start from the beginning i want to see all your pictures i know i'm just a little nervous there's some we're not unless it's sarah naked that's what i'm more nervous about okay wow only that horse but the car horsepower you're looking at the the car on that?

Horsepower.

I'm looking at something else.

Look at his cock.

Yeah.

That's what she's telling me.

Now that's the main house.

That wasn't our house.

Yeah, this is our house.

Wow.

You guys.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I remember we had a floorbed.

Bam did it.

Oh, you want to go to the beginning?

Yeah, I don't know.

You can send it to me later.

Oh, we're to an art museum, too.

Pre-Columbian Art Museum, which was fucking cool.

That was cool.

And it really showed you a bunch of history.

All right.

right, well, why don't you send me these later?

What is this?

That's our first hotel.

That's when we first arrived.

I like anything that has an indoor

outside.

Yeah, an indoor outside is really cool.

Oh, Joe bought a piece of art.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, this is downtown, Old Town.

This is what we first, the first day.

Yeah.

Yeah, we sat right around there and ate.

It's kind of just gorgeous and like, and like.

I just like walking around.

Colonial is so much better word than colonizer.

Oh, look at that.

Right.

I don't even remember that.

I think that's

those are regular roles.

And then you

came in those.

I did some

regular roles and we shizzed up.

Louis C.

Louie was there, yeah.

Louis had a bad face.

Look how cool we are.

And that's the inside of the.

Unbelievable.

Didn't we go to a mausoleum of like where they put dead bodies?

In the church or something like that.

It was downstairs in the church.

Ornate.

And it also had

smoke.

It was smoky.

They put in ambiance for us.

Yeah.

In this mausoleum downstairs.

I also like when people come to visit, even though we're just touristing ourselves, but like it's an excuse to go do something like this.

Yeah.

Wow, that's fucking what a shot.

It's an excuse, like, oh, someone's coming.

It's kind of like the only time I do New York tourist stuff.

Yeah.

Oh, let's go check out the High Line.

Yeah, right.

God, Gosh, this gorgeous old.

I mean, I took a lot of photos.

Yeah.

All right.

Well, it's a lot of back.

I want to see if you have the hummingbirds.

I know I have a slow-mo of them.

I have some hummingbirds.

There's me Todd Domundo.

Oh, here we go.

Oh,

okay.

Okay, this is cool.

This is cool.

I mean, right on the equator line.

Where's Joe coming in?

Joe's coming in hot.

Joe's coming in hot.

Hops.

Oh, yeah.

That's at least three, four inches off the ground right there.

That's so cool.

Woo!

I mean, you guys are on both sides of it at the same time, in the air at the same time.

The grounds of this are really beautiful, too.

They really do great.

Yeah, I like our coffee.

I love a coffee.

I love coffee in other countries.

Me too.

Except when it's, you know.

The coffee in Ecuador is not great, but occasionally you can find good, but you just get used to it pretty fast.

Yeah.

That's my dick size.

Yeah.

I don't know what I'm doing there.

Overall, good trip for you guys.

Oh, it's one of the greats.

Yeah, one of the great trips.

It really was such a blast having you there.

Oh, I love.

So this is just like the roads.

Yeah, to get somewhere.

This is what I mean by hold for a second.

Hold for a second.

Go back one.

This is just like the nature everywhere.

It's just so cool.

Look at the bird way up there.

Wow.

Probably what you can.

Oh, that's a cool photo.

The street dogs were out of control.

They were scary.

Yeah.

This is me.

But everybody

dope.

But everybody doesn't care about the house.

Back the road to get to the house.

Wait, is this a video?

Go back.

This is us getting to the place.

Yeah.

Somewhere I want to show the horse video I made.

Oh, yeah.

That was really well after the trip, though.

Let's see.

That's the kitchen.

That's the front yard.

That's the front yard.

I have photos of the house here.

Hold on.

I'll get to them.

I threw out, and I regret this.

It was a free.

Look at that.

Oh, my God.

Hold, hold for a second.

The bird feeder out there.

The what?

I would just like

my house to be like that.

We would sit out there and smoke cigars.

Yes.

And then in here, it was just great.

And it was just like to make this house with the open windows like this, because that's all you want to look at is outside.

It was fucking, and it rained every night.

It was so beautiful.

There was a guy who was running for president there, and I had a free shirt from him, but then I found he was just a banker.

He was just part of the evil elite.

And so I threw it out.

It got all dirty.

I threw it out in this yard.

Wow.

Oh, that's Slomo.

You got a Slomo one.

Good.

Wow.

I already thought he was the only one that thought of.

I mean, I got a better one.

I may have got a better one.

You do.

That guy's cool.

Super cool.

I'm going to get a hot dog.

She had a compost heap that I'm always

jealous.

That's a great photo.

That's the outside one.

God, that is great lighting.

You look high, but you're not.

I'm not.

We did find some good weed, but then it was like kind of psychedelic weed.

It was 30 bucks for 30 grams.

Oh, that's a nice one.

Yeah, so every morning.

We're going to drink coffee?

Every morning, we just go out there, drink our coffee, and then be like, eventually let's get our day started and let's go on a hike.

How many nights were we there for?

I don't remember.

Four?

Four nights in Mindo?

I think so.

Maybe so.

Our burn of our trip was there.

Yeah.

What?

Most of our our trip was there.

Was there, yeah, yeah.

Oh, bandits.

Bandit fucking rules.

I think the horse is coming up.

So that's.

Okay, so

this is the path to get to the horse area.

And we had just already gone through

the gate.

I mean, where is he?

I don't know.

It was still a mystery to me.

I really did feel like we closed the gate.

I almost felt like he knows how to unlatch it.

That's probable.

Because she really didn't care as a horse guy.

I was like, yeah, he'll do that.

Was there anything you guys wanted to do that you didn't?

Do you remember?

No.

Because I didn't know.

I was really bad about this trip.

I didn't really do any research on Ecuador to tell you.

So that means it was all gold.

That's right.

Right.

There she is.

That's her house.

She's like,

I killed 6 million Jews.

I was a baby, but we killed many Jews.

I left when I was 5.75.

I was like, I'm out.

This is too many.

She's like, this is getting to be a little much.

I just thought it was going to be a million.

And we were smoking cigars.

Boy, I take a great photo of this.

You do.

Yeah.

At Joe List Photography on Instagram.

Yeah, that's right.

One of the best follows

in all of stand-up.

Thank you.

Old school.

Just photos.

Just photos.

Yeah, we hiked around the,

what do you call that?

Hiked by the horse.

What's the word I'm looking for?

There's the house.

There's the house.

Maybe it wasn't an A-frame.

It's pretty A-frame-y, sort of.

It's got a roof.

Yeah.

I'll A-frame without the video.

Yeah, what a trip.

That's our

ghost trip.

The boots.

I was mad.

That looked like Jurassic Park.

Yeah, it looks exactly like Jurassic Park.

Oh, you got the raft and shit.

So that's what we rafted on.

Yeah.

That level of

rapids.

I mean,

listen, if you're on a boat, okay, on a raft, not as great.

Wow.

There it is.

Oh, no.

We didn't take that one, though.

We took the foursome.

That's like a twofer.

And I was like, I can't.

Yeah, we were in a gate.

There it is.

With the little grape on the bottom.

Huh?

Sarah's holding an early diarrhea.

I don't know, guys.

What's that?

Are you guys holding hands?

Yeah.

He's like, now we're good.

I don't know where it's at.

There it is.

Yeah.

And it is high, and it's rickety.

And it's just like, what are the the safety protocols in here?

Look at the what's?

Right.

That's a rule.

Rules.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, they have a little rug in the middle of it.

Go back, go back.

Yeah, so you can't fucking look straight down.

They're like, there you go.

We covered it.

All good.

Oh, my God.

This is one of the favorite trips of all time.

I got to say, thank you guys for coming.

Well, thank you for having us.

Are you kidding?

It was the most perfect time.

Like, what we doing the road,

yeah, I didn't understand.

I also, well, I guess people were scared, but I actually felt like it's this is actually the safest time to go traveling.

It's so insane.

We're just going off into space.

And then there's another little thing that

was.

Yeah.

So we had already gone through a big one.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then we transferred over.

Yeah.

I took less photos than the big one because I was shitting more.

Yeah, we had a transfer.

And then we walked down, I'm assuming.

There were car pickup places.

Sarah's was holding it a dial.

I was like, okay.

I assume this is a video of a little waterfall.

It's just brown shit coming down.

I mean, right there, that's nice to have those shoes.

Oh, we had walk.

I was really into the walking stick.

Didn't you put it in your pussy at one point?

I did.

Yeah.

I did.

And it wasn't.

It was painful at first, but then I got used to it.

In front of everyone.

You were like, guys, watch this.

Yeah.

And then you suck the end of it to see.

Yeah, you were like, it really shows you stick to it and this will help your experience.

You guys did not see that one coming.

No, you really shocked us.

Wow.

Well, by the way, we're only standing in the water because we had the boots.

Right, we just wanted to think you should go stick in the water.

That is such a cool pick.

That's our album cover.

I'm able to do that the cover of the fucking.

Pendit looks emaciated.

Pendit always.

Pandit worked out.

She'll never give up.

She'll never like actually stop.

She'll just be like, I'm going as long as you guys are going.

Yeah, this is dynamite.

I could have done more hiking.

Yeah.

Yeah, we did a couple days of hiking.

I mean, we're going to go on a little hike the last day, but instead we went on a tour of Galaxy.

Yeah, I kind of regret.

I also regret the bird watching, even though we did have some funny.

Well, that was most of it.

That was sick, though.

It would have been funny.

Because we were talking about what did we want to do, and I think I pushed for the bird.

I like the bird watching.

In hindsight, like all these memories, even the horse getting out, it's like, oh, that was terrible.

But the memory, like you said, is so good.

It's fun.

It was a cool footbridge.

It's also like, how often do you get to wrangle a horse?

That's what Sarah's shit is.

That was my shit.

Oh, yeah, that was your shit.

Go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back.

Wow.

Zoom in.

I mean, that is not an ideal toilet.

That's one of the better ones.

I don't even think it flushed.

That's not a door.

There's no door there.

Or maybe there's a door.

I think there is a door.

I don't think I would just diarrhea with an open door.

I did.

Look at that fucking thing.

Wow.

That's where we're headed.

That's where we had come from, where we were headed.

Yeah, it was on my list of stuff to do.

The Me No Cloud Force.

I'm like, I got to find the right time.

It's like, oh, cool.

You guys come that'll make us go back to Keto, and then we'll go from there.

God, this fucking trip ruled.

Was that exercise equipment?

Oh, they're like seesaws.

I think it's a school.

I think it's a school.

Okay.

I mean, does any of this?

That's our dog.

I was really into that dog, and then he was later bro.

He's so cute.

Sarah's inside doing a show.

No, but you can see me in the reflection.

There's doing a show.

Oh, that's the reflection.

I thought you were inside for some reason.

I look sad.

This is a video of something.

Hopefully not.

I was fucking slowly with the walking stick at my pussy.

Oh, yeah.

I forgot I videoed it.

Did as you're leaving through nuance, I like to ask people these questions.

Where is on your list, same shirt, of places to to go?

Is there any place you are looking to?

That's the burger we nurse back.

It hit the wall.

We had to put it in a box.

We looked up how do you nurse them back?

Yeah, it'll freak out.

So you put it in a box where it's dark and confined until it regains because otherwise it'll fly out and smash us.

That's right before you fucked your pussy with Duncan's

fandis tail.

Yeah, that was, I was really into fucking my pussy.

You did so much pussy fucking.

I need to eat.

I am on an empty stomach to smoke a cigar.

I'm going to throw up right now.

Not throw up, but I'm shaky.

I got some equitorian chocolate.

There's my.

Oh, that was the rush button on my dump.

Well, I don't even know what shirt that.

Oh, I know.

That's probably like a shirt.

She looks great here.

That's my usual.

Nice coffee.

Look at that.

The river behind us.

Yeah, it's like a drop.

Oh, poor Sarah.

Wow.

I don't know that shirt, Sarah.

No, I know what shirt it is.

There's our ribbon.

Oh,

fucking good.

It doesn't look good.

It does not look good.

It looks like cheese and bread.

Uh-huh.

That looks like something much your bachelor friend would make.

But they had plantains and avocado and black beans.

Do you remember the avocados?

No.

Massive, and the seed was like that big.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, there's your cigarettes.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Highlight.

Oh, yeah, this is like a little bodega.

Oh, there's the horse.

There's the horse.

And we're chasing it.

We got

it looking at it.

I think we're going to get it.

Let's get the car.

It's too far.

Where the fuck is it?

Then we got out of the car.

The horse is just like, we're going on an adventure.

This is us chasing the horse back.

We're like, come on, man, please.

That's me with a cigarette.

That must have been

a post-horse.

Post-horse.

Yeah, there's our celebratory.

And then this is, I'm dying.

There's our hiking boots.

Yeah, there's our regular boots that you thought weren't going to be efficient.

Slow, slow.

Sorry.

Okay, yeah, that's us all looking looking at trying to find the thing.

Cool.

Ah.

Okay.

Okay.

Yeah.

That lady.

So then we left the lady.

We're like, all right, we're going home.

She goes, what?

We still have two hours.

You pay for two more hours.

Like, I know, but we're not going to do it.

We saw the toucan.

And she was like, well, I'm going to stay out here and look at birds.

Yeah.

It was just

like a bird.

And we would see her in the background just looking at birds.

Yeah.

We're like, ah, how you doing?

We're packed up.

Because we got like a late checkout.

Like, let's do something early in the morning and then we can use that day.

Wow.

oh,

laser beam eyes.

Yeah, I just got a lot of these.

Yeah, that must be obviously morning.

Yeah, there's there's the horse back in his pen.

Show me that picture, show me the video of the horse.

Maybe I'll put it in the middle or maybe put it at the end.

Yeah, I put it to like dance music.

Oh, that's great.

It's fucking hilarious, but it was probably a week later.

This Burger King,

my beacon.

Yeah, and this is what, back in Quito?

Yeah.

Wait, okay.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's the restaurant.

That's cool.

Oh, wait.

That's

oh, Sing in the Rain.

Ijuvia, yeah.

Wow.

So many people.

Oh, my God.

Hold on for a second.

That's crazy.

That's Sarah's leg, by the way.

She didn't shave the whole time.

Sarah, that's disgusting.

But it can't get that way.

Get out.

It's on its way there.

As we look through these, I'll keep telling you to stop.

Where is on your?

Yes, that that hotel.

Yeah, this one.

That hotel is great.

Once I figured out this one, I stayed there so many times.

We'd leave our car there.

They'd be like, we got a little garage.

You can leave it here if you come back.

Like, we went to the Amazon.

They came back to our car.

I like that it was like different levels, and the furniture was cool.

They had the breakfast in the morning.

It's entirely possible we're going to.

This must be on the way to the airport because that was pretty cool.

There's the airframe.

There's our.

That's.

Yeah.

I look kind of jacked there.

You do.

Looks shredded.

Oh, this is the compilation video.

Of all the stuff?

Yeah.

This is the whole trip.

Wow.

This is like four minutes long.

Maybe we could just play this.

Where I want to go is the Far East.

I always say I want to go to Japan and Vietnam and stuff.

I don't know when we're going to be able to do that now with a baby.

I did see when I was in Vietnam, I was at the Coochie Tunnels.

No joke.

And

there was a family there.

There was two

seven and nine-year-olds.

And they took their kids.

Yeah, you can bring your kids.

Yeah, they didn't quite appreciate that this is where the Vietnamese fucking killed a bunch of soldiers.

But they were like,

there's no Legoland for that.

There's no Lego.

And then South America, I'd like to go to Bolivia and Argentina.

That was the armrest?

What?

Oh, I don't remember.

That is not on the armrest.

Like this.

Look at those guys.

I'm trying to think where in South America I would go.

I wouldn't mind Paraguay or Uruguay because it's not like you ever meet anyone that's from there.

I really want to go to Uruguay.

I think.

And it would make so many friends.

I would do Argentina.

It's on the way to the house.

Where's the Patagonia place?

That's Argentina.

Argentina.

But I think it also hits Chile.

I think Patagonia is a whole region of both.

I hope you see that.

And then this and

Falkland Elsa.

What?

Antarctica?

Antarctica.

I was scared.

I was scared to touch it.

Anti-Semitic.

You can't touch my nose.

You're the one with the nose.

Look, man, I'm making a friend.

We're holding hands.

The whole trip was very, very fun until the end, and that was a lasting memory.

Diarrhea is funny.

Yeah, you look back and you're like, of all the sicknesses, that's the funniest one.

The fun thing about travel is the moments of real distress become stuff you remember fondly.

Of course.

Absolutely.

Well, things going right aren't good stories.

That's what I have with Tuesdays with stories is like it's hard now because you're like, Yeah, I flew there and stayed in a really nice hotel, and it was sold out, and the show was great, and I came home with a bunch of money.

Maybe I should take over.

I just did a veiled trip that took forever to get to.

What, um, what, so that's so you want to go to Patagonia, you want to go there?

Okay, well, no, I actually think I want to go to uh, the Patagonia.

That's nice, I like that.

Yeah, any hiking, also, Jasper.

We wanted to go, we almost went on our honeymoon to Jasper.

Jasper, Wyoming, National Park, no, it's in Canada.

Oh, which was the western?

I've been to Banff, and it is gorgeous.

What's this one?

We're singing some stupid song.

We're probably singing Nobody Loves Love Like a Lover Loves Love or something like that.

Wow.

That's us just

galloping.

Please just stop here.

Try to wait for it.

Come on.

No.

Where are you going?

Into Birdwatcher Lady.

She was so.

I love someone passionate about their stuff.

Right.

We got the right one.

I went to two different tours of the Komodo Dragons, and one guy was so into it.

And then the next guy's like, come on, come on, let's go next move.

This is fun.

Yeah.

Took our shoes off, tipped in the water.

I'm always grateful for a place that's kind of off the grid, so at least not 100% of the photos are me looking at my phone.

Yeah, there was no real connection there, right?

Yeah.

And again, there was no show business happening.

Those coils.

Those coils that keep mosquitoes away, which did not work.

It was what?

No showbiz happening.

Yeah, it wasn't.

So you didn't feel like you were missing out.

Yeah.

Can we stop for a second and just say, like, go keep their going?

But like

how amazing it was

to have no responsibility for a bit.

Well, I just had this Sarah was in bail for that festival.

And for five days, I had a completely clear schedule.

And I just had my son.

I was like, oh, this is the I should be living.

I'm just like hanging out with a boy.

With like weird, like mysterious funds coming in.

Yeah, and then he would.

If you could just be rich with no obligations.

And then, uh,

yeah.

No, I gotta stop scrolling here.

Why?

This is where the naked stuff comes?

Possibly.

It's me and Louis and you.

Yeah, that's us.

That was my first special.

I love that photo.

I remember posting this for your special.

Yeah.

And getting like, hey, careful.

Yeah, yeah.

It was like, it was still like hey i don't know if we can from management from everybody yeah and it's like what i don't know i just want to post a picture i was at the special taping can i just post about it right you're also like what that's our friend yeah it's our buddy no i had that when i first get i did a gig at uh soul joels during covet and my manager called me and was like just a heads up i don't know if you want to do this Louis hasn't done a show.

It's going to get a lot of heat.

You're going to bring on heat.

And I was like, I'm doing a gig in Pennsylvania with my friend.

And by the way, zero people cared.

Not a single person cared.

But it changes that mindset of people being like, we should just be careful.

I'm like, that's my buddy.

I don't get it.

And they go, no.

Right.

There's a story I heard.

Don't know if it's true or not, but I think it is, of

them thinking of doing Puty Tang again.

And then going to Chris Rock and going, we can do Pudy Tang.

He goes, I will do it.

Of course, Louie will be doing it.

And there's a time where people are like, I don't know if we can work with them.

And he goes, I'll do it if Louie does it.

And they go, sure, love it.

And then coming back, like, we looked at the contract.

We actually don't need to include Louis on this.

We actually are not legally obligated to do that.

And Chris Rock's like, fuckface.

I just said I'm only doing it with Louie.

It's not because my contract.

It's because he made the movie.

That's silly.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's another one you look back on.

You're like, who cares?

We have to go leave you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Man, this was fun.

Last thing, travel tips.

I got one.

I'll start.

If someone tells you to boil water, boil the water.

Boil the water.

Yeah, it's hard to remember.

I was just on the show and gave a travel tip.

You got another one.

On your show.

My pet peeve is when somebody shows up on a travel with the worst shoes ever.

Bad sneakers.

Like, if you're going hype.

Like, sometimes people will show up at sandals and you're like, you can't walk in fucking.

I like how he turns this into a pet peeve.

Travel tips.

Like, well, my pet peeve is this.

Well, no, I think about my planar fast is so bad from those galoshes to heighten that.

Galoshes.

They never use that word anymore.

The worst.

I would wear sneakers as much as I could.

And get them dirty.

I'm for sure.

I think

my trouble tip is a good travel partner.

You got to make sure you know the person, who they are, what you're doing.

Can you be in an apocalypse with them?

Yeah, and they're not.

cynical and shitty and like

I saw this I like I don't like this and this is okay yeah you got to get someone.

Well,

you want someone that doesn't feel like they need to do the dishes before you leave for the day.

I'm not going to name names.

That was the three of us and one other person.

It's like, let me just knock out all of these dishes.

We also forgot we went flea market shopping.

Where?

We did?

I don't remember that at all.

Yeah, we did.

I think you bought a few items.

Oh, you bought

an Arepa Press or a Target.

I know that place.

It was like a wood and everything's.

Yeah, I know that place.

I don't know where we did it.

There's a lot of markets there, and they're pretty cheap.

And they go from anywhere from like

things like that, like an engraved, like not engraved, but like a fire fifth.

Yeah, Flint.

Or just like usable, like

Patacone press.

Yeah.

I also think this might be a piece of paper.

Oh, that's what it was.

It was for plant to make the

plantana chips.

I also think don't over-research.

Too many people do too much research, and then they're like, keep it loose I don't want to see a hundred photos of where I'm going to right I'm like then I'm looking at it like oh yeah you show me that photo

that photo Yeah, I like to go let's just leave and start fucking walking We were amazed by the look of the toucan We weren't like yep, that's the one I came for right because everything that's what's so great about foreign travel It's what I love about it is everything is interesting.

Street sign bushes.

It's like when you walk around Manhattan, people are taking photos of mailboxes.

Even that picture of the crossing the road, the go.

Yeah.

The guy's moving.

Yeah, yeah.

You took a picture of that because it's like, that's different than my country.

Right.

It's great.

And I try to

sometimes bring that mindset into track.

I say this all the time.

Like, you drive the Merritt Parkway in Connecticut to go to Boston.

I'm like, if we were in South America, I'd be like, oh my God, there's trees.

So you try to bring that into where you live.

Yeah.

Well, I will say, in terms of the tip of like, go with people you enjoyed.

I really enjoyed you guys coming.

It made it fucking

such a fun time.

Well, we'll do it

in the summer in England.

Yeah, 100%.

Take us to some places, yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, whale.

We got to come back on and talk about whales because that was the

trip, folks.

Okay.

Well, our whales trip, because I had been to Peru with my ex-girlfriend, I was like, Sarah, we got to do a trip that beats, because as it stands now, the best trip of my life was with my ex-girlfriend.

So we went to Wales and it did beat.

Peru.

It was the fucking greatest.

We hiked all day, every day.

Oh, that's great.

I love a trip that's like, we are here to hike.

Yeah, everything else is stupid.

There's something I've always fallen into, too, of like, of like, oh, where should I eat?

Where's the best place to eat?

And it's like, I have to tell myself, like, I live in New York City.

No food, unless you're in Paris or something like that.

No food in this town is going to be equal to an average restaurant here.

So just get some food and go.

Yeah.

Right.

Well, that's why I like that.

It was this friends, the games.

and the arepas by the water.

And it was delicious and awesome.

Still to this day is one of my favorite meals ever.

I've ever had.

Yeah.

And that's something that, like, if we read about in a blog, then other people are now trying to do that.

Right, it would be the hot spot, but you're like,

I don't know, you can't recreate it.

Bring a deck of cards.

Bring a deck of cards.

I appreciate you guys embracing scat, which is my favorite pastime.

We got way into it.

Oh, it's so fun.

It's a fun game.

I've told this story, Sarah.

So Tom Dustin and I, years ago, we stayed at my grandparents' house, which was like in Maine.

It's a caboose.

It's like three feet wide and four feet long.

And we just drank rum and cokes and played one-on-one scat for four hours straight.

And it's one of my favorite memories.

Because I was also pre-phone.

There was no, now everyone looks at TikTok.

Right.

That's why I like the trips where you are off the grid.

When we go to

there's no the internet sucks.

Where's that?

The campgrounds?

Bleep

out there.

Oh, yeah.

Shenandoah National Park.

Yeah.

It's probably

I said it one time.

One guy emailed me and was like, dude, don't say the town.

Nobody's here.

It's fucking awesome.

They listen for us saying bleep that.

Okay.

The editor, so they will.

Okay, great.

Okay, great.

Yeah, there's one.

It was like I went to, I'd see Dolly Parton, and the people came up to me, like, thank you for coming to this town.

It was in the middle of Mississippi.

And they go, hey,

I hope you enjoy it.

Please don't tell.

We don't want a bunch of tourists coming.

Right, right.

Well, that sucks.

Remember when we went to Zion and we were so naive about showing up to hiking that you had to book.

You should show up early.

Everywhere now you have to book.

Yeah.

And it was 20 million people on a hiking trail, and we had to wait in line to go around bends of the hike.

I cannot, I know that you're supposed to be taking it in, but I also want to go at my own pace.

Also, I don't want to worry about somebody on my ass the whole time.

You want, like, you move faster.

Oh, shit.

I'm sorry.

I was going too slow.

Yeah, it was, I didn't really, I liked where we stayed, but the hiking situation, I was like, this is awful.

That house also

was actually the best Airbnb of all time.

You know the story of that guy.

So there's an Airbnb in actual Zion National Park, which he said it was the only one in there.

Yeah, there might be more now, but like, but it's, and it was in Butch Cassie and Sundance Kid.

It had been used for something interesting.

And I told the guy, I was like, hey, we're coming.

I was like, oh, that's way too much.

And he was like, what are you coming for?

He goes, it's me and like four friends.

There's like eight rooms here.

Right.

Me and like four friends.

We're just, we're just like comics.

We're just going to relax.

Oh, you're like performers?

We made this for you.

Yeah, yeah.

He goes, I'll give you half price.

You got to come.

If you want to relax and get away from all the, this is why we made it.

And there were cave paintings, which was insane.

Oh, the cave paintings were so cool.

Yeah, we've been to some cool spots.

Cave paintings are so fucking cool.

Yeah.

Actual cave paintings.

To know that you were in a spot where a man was there, like,

I don't know, 10,000s of years ago.

And think of the that must have happened.

Ah, all over.

That's what caves are for.

All right, boys, thank you very much.

One more time.

That's a girl.

I laid in.

What?

Yeah.

Girl.

No dick.

Yeah.

Well, it's like

in España.

You combine.

Oh, I wish you had a dick.

That'd be so cool.

I laid this in earlier, but one more time.

Sarah's got a special.

Two.

Two on YouTube.

I'm just thinking of the new one.

What are they?

Butthole Money and Voluptuous Boy.

Butthole Money and Voluptuous Boy.

Yeah.

That's great.

Check them out.

Which one's the last one?

Butthole Money.

Butthole Money.

And I have four now.

I hate myself.

This year's Material, Enough for Everybody.

And Small Ball, which is the news.

Now, the new one, Small Ball, it's been out for about a month.

Yes.

Check that out.

Both these guys are fucking hilarious comics.

Both of them are coming on my storytelling show.

Yeah.

Coming soon.

God, that's good.

Both of you guys crushed.

That was special.

That was a special night of my life.

Mainly because Sarah and I didn't interact.

We were nights in the ships in a night.

That was a really fun night.

I can't wait for that.

Yeah, I'm excited for everybody to see it.

All right, everybody, until next week.

Aste Mañana.

Hasta Luego.

Well, that's the episode, everybody.

I hope you enjoyed it.

I hope you enjoyed it.

I hope you enjoyed it.

I got my new passport.

I'm about to set it to some use.

But before I do, I want to show you what I'm going to do with one of these Yubi Trippin' stickers.

Yeah, they're clear designs.

Abergad Avra, the guy who made the Shroomfest shirts.

Every year for the Shroomfest shirts, if you have one.

I once saw one on the way to actually Valley Vibes.

Bono Ruger canceled for rain.

And I was like, fuck.

And I was taking my RV, driving to Valley Vibes with Liam, which is the designer of the shirt.

Some guy saw me, pulled up, and goes, look, look, he's wearing the Schumfest shirt that Liam designed.

He goes, you want a joint and some mushrooms.

I said, yes, for the joint, but for the mushrooms, for sure, yes.

And he gave us some mushrooms and we did it.

A guy in a shoefest shirt.

It was wild.

It was fucking wild.

Hold on.

Hold on.

Thank you very much, Sarah Tolomash and Joe List for coming on today's episode.

And honestly, thank you for being the only ones of my friends that came to visit me during the six months that I was in Ecuador.

Six fucking months.

And all these friends, Shane was like, I'll come to see you when you go to the beach.

Came to the beach.

He was too busy becoming one of the top five comics in the world.

Lame.

All these other people said, I'll go visit you when you're a keto.

Did not.

Lame.

Okay, if you think these stickers are not,

you can also put it on your water bottle the way I did here.

Don't forget to see Jola's special small ball and Sarah Tolomash's special butthole money that are available on YouTube right now.

It is the best time in the world for stand-up comedians.

We have ability.

There it is.

Clear, guys.

Clear.

And I found a clear page on here.

And now I shall put it on.

Let's see here.

Let's see here.

Let's get a one-shot at this.

I did it upside down by accident.

That's there forever now.

It's there forever upside down.

Isn't that cool?

It's like a passport stamp.

Isn't that fucking cool?

So as you're flipping through, as you get these, um...

You know, whatever, all your passport stamps, you have one right there in your...

Your passport, you'd be tripping.

It looks like fucking, like a fucking passport stamp.

Go see Joe List on the road as well.

I don't think Sarah is unless she's opening for Joe, or she needs to update her website.

But Joe's on the road, Woodstock, New York, Morris Plains, New Jersey, Portland, Maine, Portsmouth, New Hampshire, Burlington, Vermont, Northampton, Massachusetts, Woodstock, New York, Morris Plains, New Jersey, Denver, Colorado.

Get tickets at comedianjoeList.com.

I am one final gig.

Charlestown, West Virginia, July 12th.

Get tickets at Ariespear.com.

Guys, please subscribe wherever you're listening.

I hope you're enjoying this podcast.

I want you to subscribe and

click that little bell thing to let you know that,

you know, overall,

it should remind you of new episodes.

Even the episodes of people you don't know are good.

Get your fucking shroomfisher, too.

Ooh, I'm excited for that.

Wait, what note did I put in here?

For

guys, this is the last

probably or second to last

intro, outro.

By the way, the hummingbird video, that was mine.

Joe List's one sucked compared to mine.

Yeah, my hummingbird video.

I set up the fucking clamps that this thing is on right now, right outside the hummingbird, on slow motion, all day.

What good shots!

Yeah, sure, Joe List's photography is a good follow on Instagram, but you know what?

I made the best hummingbird video.

I can't get over what a good time that was.

Smoking those cigars on that balcony at the place in Mendo.

What's her name?

Dominique.

So because it's one of the last ones I'll do from here, from intro outros, I want to go over with you guys the stuff that's in this shot, hosted by Dominique.

For sure, stay there and tell her I sent you.

What do you say?

Come on a trip with me with all my travel souvenirs.

I think I've said everything I got to say.

Shroomfest shirts, pre-sale starts right now, and plus with possibly limited-run colors that are only available.

Let's start from here.

First of all, this Diablo Uma mask is

endemic to Ecuador.

Let's start with that.

That's where this shirt's from.

It's part of a ceremony.

They take them and they,

I guess I'll just put it on actually.

The front has

and the back both have eyelids,

so you can ward off evil spirits.

I've worn this many times.

They do these in their indigenous ceremonies sometimes here in the back so evil spirits can't sneak up on you.

Also, this should be used for

those goddamn fucking shitty birds in Australia.

Which ones are those?

The ones that fucking swoop?

The swooping ones?

They're really pretty, black and white.

This one's from the Chiapas slash Guatemala region.

I got it in Guatemala.

I like to get a mask in every place i go it's a very white things to do uh from tobago island tobago outside trinidad where i was for carnival on my birthday a couple years ago um

go the maroon it's state of origin it's state of origin it's like a north versus south rugby match um in Australia they have every year.

It's a three-game series.

Mate versus mate.

State versus state.

Look it up.

I don't know.

How much should I I go into with you?

That's from ah some, it's a bag from something I bought in the Galapagos on Isabella Island.

This is some fucking postcards from fans.

A hat I bought in Cuba where I was with Bobby Kelly.

A fucking beret I got in France.

Paris where I was taking a writing class from Rolf Potts, who wrote this book, Souvenir.

It's more of a coffee table book.

And this book, The Vagabond's Way,

it is

one thing a day, 365 days a year, just like travel, meditations on travel.

It's a fucking great read.

Actually, I got to bring this with me.

I got to bring that with me.

A conch shell for Dominican Republic.

Bro, sure, I paid too much.

I paid 10 bucks for a fucking salad.

But this guy took whatever was living in here out with a fork while I was in the beach in Boca Chica, which they said was a disgusting beach.

But compared to fucking Rockaway, are you out of your mind?

It's one of the cleanest beaches I've ever been to.

Beautiful.

Pulled it right out of that, put some salt and pepper on it, ate it right up.

Ooh, it did me right.

Oh, yeah.

I should burn some of this.

It's got to be from Ecuador, right?

Quartzo Lopez.

Oh, yeah.

In the Manabe region.

It's Palo Santo.

They burn fucking a bunch of these to call everybody in to show you that there's more for sale.

It's extremely cheap, but it just makes a delicious smell.

I didn't know it was from Manabi.

Manabi, oh, yeah, it says Ecuador right there.

The Manabi region is where they have ceviches, all different kinds of ceviches all over

Latin America.

Peruvian ceviche is different than Ecuadorian for sure.

One's more watery.

But the Manabi region of Ecuador puts peanut butter in their ceviche, and I know what you're thinking, but they all do it, and it is amazing.

And if it wasn't amazing, they wouldn't all do it.

Lighter from Slovenia.

Let's see if it works.

It does.

It does.

And then this

from Myanmar.

I got this from a woman who helped me find a temple to go on to in this temple town in western, I think, Myanmar, Midwestern Myanmar.

And me and these Canadian chicks, she ran us out to go watch a sunset.

And then she was like, I actually sell stuff, but she wasn't hawking.

She let us enjoy the sunset for like an hour.

And then I was like, lady, I'm for sure going to get you something.

So it's a pipe that I've never smoked out of.

But I just think it's beautiful.

And she made it.

She carved it and all.

God, that brings me back.

What a fucking cool place.

What a cool fucking place.

We got a.

Look at this.

My buddy Ethan gave me this.

I gave him something.

He gave me this from Guatemala, Australian guy.

Episode coming on that.

Thank you, Ethan.

I still have it.

I lost it.

I didn't realize it was under this jewelry box I got in either Shanghai or Beijing, China.

Is anything in here?

Yes.

Broke.

It's broken.

What have we got in here?

Okay, a Thailand that I never used.

Oh, wow, lots of shit.

Notebook.

Truhascaria Plataforma that we used to do a male comedian's dinner.

Lewis, that was such a great idea.

We should definitely do that again.

That's about it.

That's all you got to know.

Look at the fucking craftsmanship on this.

I mean, that's falling apart, so maybe not.

So maybe not.

But I did get it in China and I brought it back.

That was my first trip.

That's my first long trip.

My agent sent me out there.

My travel journal, which I suggest everybody does when you're traveling.

Get a journal, fill it up, and it will remind you, ooh, wow, this is fucking loose, of things and places that you forgot.

Every morning, those same Canadian chicks, one of them was was

journaling in the morning.

I go, what are you doing?

She goes, I journal every day.

I was like, oh, really?

And I started doing it.

I missed like the first week or so, but it was in that temple town that I won't say.

I don't like to say out loud because I don't want to ruin it.

3:12, March 12th.

T.O.

picked me up and I followed him to

Muhammad's shop.

Then he got a board.

Oh,

I asked T.O.

why he wasn't teaching me because he had to go buy

wood.

I took surf lessons in Indonesia on Flores Island.

He hooked me up with weed.

Here it is.

Actually, I asked him to get me some, and he said for 500K,

which is 40 bucks.

I didn't want nearly that much, just enough for two to three joints.

I offered him 300K, and I said, get me that much.

He needed 500 because he didn't have enough for all he was going to buy yet.

I didn't know how, but he talked me into it.

Going to an ATM to get another 200K.

I'd get the weed later.

I did get the weed.

It was some of the shittiest weed I ever had, and I smoked it on

a hilltop with three people from

four people from Seattle while the wind fucking ripped through this campfire.

Oh, what a fucking fun night.

What a fun fucking night.

And then we saw the people like breaking into our bikes.

I had to get down.

God.

Let's see if I start early on.

The poverty in Yangon, especially in the outskirts, is astounding.

Crazy first sentence.

This is for my bus.

Wow.

To where I was going.

I'm getting weed withdrawal dreams.

It's been about seven days.

I don't know if I should take a gummy today for that city.

I must have had a couple gummies.

Or save it.

I guess I have two to three doses left.

I took gummies in?

Wild, Ari.

Are you nuts?

Legit, are you nuts?

I would never advise anyone to take gummies into Myanmar, a fucking country run by the military.

I don't even have a desire for it, actually.

The plan was to take it on this day, but I was thinking, wow.

My dreams have moved from.

Oh my god.

Myanmar.

What's dating life like?

Oh, that's right.

I interviewed somebody.

Inlay.

The morning ta.

Oh my god.

Woke up feeling a...

122.17.

122.17.

Weird customs in Myanmar.

You got on a shared van.

Why they can't...

When you get on a shared van, why can't I understand why you wouldn't want to tie a small black trash bag to the back of the seat in front of you?

It's for barfing.

I didn't realize till later.

I know that now.

Wow, I mean, I gotta go through this.

But what a journal will do for you is help you fucking remember your thoughts.

And when I'm going over stories of stuff that happens, I'll refer to that.

And

it'll like bring me back and tell me about people that were there.

Like Tio, like that fucking surf instructor who hooked me up with the weed guy and how much it was.

I wouldn't have known how much it was.

There's a hat I got in the market in between

two cities in Myanmar, in Lei Lake, and

something.

We stopped at a market in a town we really should not have stopped in.

We weren't allowed to stop in.

My friend Derek did,

who took that crazy Chin Loan picture, Chinloon ball.

Yeah, we all stopped there, and he shut down the market.

A white guy in Myanmar, they were like, what the fuck?

That's crazy.

It's like someone who's eight foot two.

I need to ship this back.

When I shipped it back, because I couldn't carry it around, it's kind of hard.

Chin loan ball.

Watch it.

It's like a, it's like they play like volleyball with their feet and they get like one foot above the net.

It's nutty.

I ship it back.

I shipped it.

I took it to Thailand, shipped it back in Thailand.

Like, you want it back in a week?

I'm like, no.

They're like, well, that's going to cost you $600.

I don't.

They're like, how about a month?

I'm like, what do you got slower?

They got, we got like three months.

It goes on the back of a snail.

and i was like yeah that's perfect because i still it'll still beat me home

by the way the p.o.

box is shut down please no longer send anything there

from ecuador that my super mario got me back from ecuador he uh when i met him uh he i was like todo de heires and he was like uh ecuador i'm like ah viva en ecuador i don't know how to say tense and he goes what i just got him back

oh anyway we got this hat i think it says chillax i'm not really sure but it says something in Burmese.

If anyone knows Burmese,

tell me what this says.

I think it says pretty much like Chill, bro.

Chillax.

Anyway, I was like, I've been to Ecuador.

Where are you from?

He goes, it's like near Guayaquil.

And I'm like,

where?

He goes, you wouldn't know it.

And I was like, oh, I was like all over.

He was like, really?

For how long?

I was like, six months, bro.

He's like, where are you from?

He goes, La Chancal or El Chancal.

I forget.

I go, oh, yeah, I stayed there once.

He was like, what?

What do you mean?

I go, I'm not going to stay in Guayaquil.

It's a fucking hellscape before the fucking gangs took over.

Who's this?

Yankees?

No, this is from the

My World Series.

2024.

My World Series.

I went with me, Cannon, and Renazisi.

Also, Ecuador has some of the best...

chocolates in the world.

All Swiss chocolate goes to Ecuador for their coffee beans.

And Picari is one of their brands.

And

it's delicioso.

If it wasn't Wednesday when I'm recording this, I could eat it.

Trippy Award from Colin Terrell.

Biggest piece of shit, stiffing a Thai hooker.

Later found out he didn't really stiff him, but I stand by it because he didn't go down on a Thai hooker.

Where is this from?

Grand Canyon or Zion?

Zion.

It's from Zion National Park.

This is a Tanika for making coffee.

I got it in Egypt.

The bargaining situation for getting this is so fucking wild.

Those guys murder me.

You think, listen, you think, oh, Jews are good at bargaining.

Not when you've met a fucking shop owner from goddamn,

not even Giza.

Where was it?

Luxor?

It was crazy.

That means they killed me.

They killed me on two hookahs and on this thing.

No, by the time I got this, my cab driver,

Medi, I think his name was.

No, Mohammed.

He goes, buddy, I saw how much you paid for this.

Can I just go in and buy this for you?

And I'm like, no, you can pay.

I'm like, no, I'm not going to pay for it.

I'm just going to get it.

And he goes, $2.

You would have paid $100.

Some chips from Greece.

Not bad.

This was given to me by a guest

who's coming.

He did one in New Zealand.

You'll see it coming.

Grinder.

Ari Shafir, Fine Goods.

Grinder.

This is pre-Columbian from Guatemala.

This thing was everywhere, and I took it as the yoga with Ari mascot while I was doing them in Ecuador.

This thing, so guys, I was in the jungle.

I mean, I guess a lot of this is from Ecuador.

I was in the jungle, and this dude who was working at a

Nanke Hats,

who was working at this lodge, this hotel, the first place I got to in the Amazon, I should have picked some fucking wandering Jews and traveled all around Ecuador with them in a Gatorade bottle.

I planted them where I am in a potter.

They're still alive.

Shlomo.

Shlomo the Wandering Jew.

He out of a can.

He made this.

He also did a fire dance, but he was like pretty bad at it.

He was like just learning fire dance.

And I could tell because I'm a performer by trade when he was done.

No one else could tell.

It was hard to tell, but I could tell.

I started the clap and he was like, thank you, thank you, thank you.

And he carved this ashtray out of a can.

He like,

fucking rule that guy.

Sam Town's book, Running the Light.

Another grinder, just a different one.

All of these are available at rschiver.com.

This Thailand notebook, that's the other one

that I never used.

Just ungoing.

Maybe I'll bring it with me.

Maybe I'll bring it with me and fill it up.

It's got a...

Elephant on there and a whatever.

Yeah, maybe I'll bring it with me.

When he went to Thailand for the full moon party in 20, I think, 14.

That's where I also got this thing, a t-shirt that I will put on at some point.

From the Taipei Boxing Stadium.

Taipei International Muay Thai Stadium in Chiang Mai, Thailand.

I went with my friend Pete.

Real Muay Thai fight.

It says something on the back.

Before a fighter can compete, they must perform an important tradition of Muay Thai, which is the Wai Kru.

Wai Kru is an ancient custom to pay

the utmost respect

to its parents' teachings and the sacred things that the fighters respect.

It's also done for protection and victory in the competition.

Waikru.

Oh, yeah.

So they do this dance.

It's almost like honors their,

it almost honors their like dojo, kind of.

Like if you fought for like in a jiu-jitsu competition, you were fighting for 10th planet, you'd have like a 10th planet dance that Eddie Bravo would teach you.

Waikru helps stimulate the mind of the fighter to discourage the opponent.

The fighter performed the same form of Y crew.

It means they are from the same headmaster.

Then it is unnecessary to fight against each other.

At the same time, the bond between the fighters harmoniously secures the love and the loyalty.

Wow.

Mr.

K, that's right.

Mr.

K.

He ran the thing.

Mr.

K, guarantee.

Telephone 08-6187-7655.

Or if you want to contact Miss Rungnapa, telephone 08-1166-9009 or 08-8266-9742.

Or email rungnapa.rung.rs at gmail.com.

It's a product of Thailand.

If you want to go and find your own Taipei Muay Thai fight, look no further than Mr.

K putting on the best fights since before

I went to Thailand.

Oh, yeah, they got him in green, too.

Grinders in green.

Running the Light by Sam Talent.

Both covers.

Excellent book.

Forward by Kyle Kinane.

Excellent comic.

This is the hat I traded in Cuba for my Foundation Cigars hat they gave me.

And I was on a beach in Bobby Kelly.

And they traded.

They were like, let's trade Cambio.

And I was like, for real?

And I was like, no, I got this hat.

But it was like, oh, I just got this hat.

I actually meant to leave it there.

So absolutely.

I will trade you a brand new hat.

for this one on the beach.

I was like, keep it.

Sweaty as shit.

I got

quotations from Chairman Mao.

I also got in China.

It's actually got some great quotes in here.

Secretary of the Party commitment must be good at as a squad leader.

Ooh, interesting.

Make trouble, fail, make trouble again, fail again, till their doom.

That is the logic of the imperialists and all the reactionaries the world over in dealing with the people's cause.

Just because we have won victory, we must never relax our vigilance against the frenzied plots for revenge by the imperialism,

by the imperialists and their running dogs.

Whoever relaxes vigilance will disarm himself politically and land himself in a passive position.

That was in his address to the preparatory committee.

Wow.

Mal, say whatever you want about him, but he thought his shit out.

He thought his shit out.

It wasn't like fucking.

Luke Heggies, if you must know, episode coming, writer of this book.

This is the father of the man who helped me in Carnival in Trinidad.

He's one of the greatest leaders in Trinidadian history.

He's got a sign-up,

a photograph up in the airport, Trinidad.

And his name carries respect wherever you go.

And I went to college with his son.

Great basketball fan.

And these, Sad Mossini's book, these, some Hershey kisses I got at the White House.

I did a tour with Shane Gillis.

He is,

he has friends in the CIA who hooked it up, which is nice.

Or something.

He knows people there somehow.

And that's it, everybody.

I hope you enjoyed today's episode.

It brought me back to Ecuador for sure.

Oh fuck.

It really did.

Niana was going over the episode this time and she goes, the first time I ever thought

an episode made me go, hey, I got to go visit there right now.

I have got to go visit.

And I would say you guys too.

I would say wait because the games have kind of taken over the country, which is sad.

But all of Latin America goes from

unvisitable to completely El Salvador went from one of the most dangerous countries in the world a few years ago to now safer than Germany and France and obviously the United States.

It's crazy.

So that's open now.

Ecuador is kind of not.

They're all open, but like, you know, don't.

Oh boy, we gotta wrap this up.

All right, everybody.

Thank you very much for tuning in.

That was the wall.

Damn, we're done.

I gotta give that trippy award to Colin.

Also, nominate your own trippy awards for next year.

If you're listening in the comments or watching on YouTube, put a comment.

I nominate this for trippy award uh best meal i nominated this for trippy award best drugs obviously carmen lynch would be up there for ayahuasca

it's 2025 so this is 2024 so it has to be from january 2025 on

um i nominated this trip best trip i nominated this trippy award best pictures what else was there i forget best trip best pictures best meal best sex

Most adventurous could be the Congo.

Could definitely be the Congo from Fearless and Far.

I mean, that was pretty adventurous.

Best trip, best guest, most surprising.

Worst trip, least adventurous.

Louis Gomez got that for a villa in Jamaica.

Worst trip, Big J got that one for

breaking up with his chick while he was in South Africa.

That was terrible.

Anyway, guys, hope you enjoyed the episode.

Nominate your own trippy awards every week.

I would nominate this one for best trip, to be honest.

I would nominate this for best trip.

I'm trying to think of a way to do best meal nomination for Joe List

for drinking that tea.

I'd also go maybe best pictures because we had a lot of pictures of this too.

Anyway, that's it, everybody.

Hope you enjoy your life.

Until next week,

Asta Luego.

Got one.